#also also i haaate when people are like

[abbalwt]

youd think with the amount of niall stan accounts ive got blocked on twitter it would be easier to avoid content until my show in july but noo

[twowink]

people who are anti 'het vbs' so passionately are sooo stupid like i dont care if y ou dont personally like it but saying 'did you read any of the story' is suuuuch a stretch. combined with the fact that some of them genuinely dont understand vbs dynamics ... did you just skip over all of the non vivid/bad dogs interactions ... ?? whatever

[foldingfittedsheets]

Your discussion today about "ma'am" brought back to mind something I've been trying to find an answer to for years that maybe you have thoughts on: what is a good non-gendered alternative to "sir/ma'am"? I'm thinking in situations where you want to be polite and respectful while referring directly to someone, but knowing their name isn't really an option, such as working retail.

(In my specific case, I'm a traveling educator constantly working with new groups of students where I can't possibly learn all their names in the 45-60 minutes I have with them, but I want to be respectful towards them because these kids get treated rudely by adults all the time. For instance, if I need to get their attention in order to move past them, I'd rather say "Excuse me, sir/ma'am" rather than just "Excuse me." Things like "friend" or "boss," which I know can work well for other people, come off as false or condescending from me personally.)

Get ready for this little number: I have no idea. And I have built my entire speech pattern around never having to find out.

See, I’m exceptionally terrible at names. Like, five seconds after someone says it there’s just static in my brain where a name is supposed to be. Even beloved friends will be sitting with me and I’ll be like- wait do I remember their name???

So everything I say is based around never addressing someone by name or honorific because the fastest way to alienate someone is getting it wrong. Most women haaate having gone from “miss” to “ma’am” and avoiding it generally pleases them. If you add extra warmth into your demeanor you can just avoid honorifics in my experience.

So my advice: when in doubt you can go even more formal to bypass names. Everyone says “excuse me,” but if you bump it up to a “pardon me,” (provided you’re in the US where that’s less common and more formal) you can get away with not adding a name.

For kids I’m personally a big fan of “kiddo”. It acknowledges they’re a kid but doesn’t come off condescending like “champ” or “buddy”. You can also just start off with a “What’s your name,” with kids and they don’t give a fuck usually. They know you don’t know them.

[eeeeuuughggg]

ticci toby hcs

toby definitely has holes or rips in a lot of his clothing. majority of his socks would have holes and half of his sweaters + pants/jeans have rips. he also wears grandpa sweaters, you cannot argue with me on this. 

to add on to this, he also has a lot of band merch. band tees, tote bags, stickers, pins, whaaatever. he treats them like they're ancient artefacts, so most of them are pretty clean and have a surprisingly minimal amount of tears, rips, or holes.

he probably also buys signed CD's, posters or just special edition presses of vinyls. he went to an evanescence concert once and it's probably his favourite concert he's been to.

i'd say a good amount of the creeps underestimate his intelligence due to the fact that he probably isn't the best at expressing himself in words or actions. he fucking HAAATES feeling small or little in comparison to his peers - after all, he's just as smart as they are. he shouldn't be treated like he's beneath them. 

i feel like tobias would randomly stare at people. he doesn't understand that he's making them uncomfortable. he just stares at them. their body language. he tries to figure out every little emotion they're feeling by analysing the way they carry themself, their posture - whatever. 

he's such a midwestern emo. anyone who says he isn't is a big fat stinking LIAR!!! he definitely listens to loser music, too. dude listens to weezer. (self projecting a little here)

toby is awkward. he's really loud. i think he would have auditory processing disorder. he speaks really loud and someone will tell him "hey, keep it down dude" and he's confused. huh ???? he was speaking normally ???? 

it's also like that one picture. 

"hey do you wanna get french toast" 

"sorry can you say that again"

"do you wan-"

"oh shit yeah actually i heard you let's get french toast"

also i know i said this in my other post but he has the weirdest fucking contact names for everyone in his phone. he probably has jeff or tim (if you hc or whatever they're in the same universe) saved as "cocksucker mcgee"

he probably kinda stinks. doesn't like showers because of the water. he may not have any temperature perception but he fucking hates water. he doesn't like the way it feels on his skin. it's just icky.

toby probably puts on eyeliner sometimes. it's like that diary of a wimpy kid scene when frank asks rodrick if he's wearing eyeliner. i dunno who frank would be in this scenario but it's true.

he'd walk up to nina and ask to borrow her eyeliner. i forgot to clarify by eyeliner i mean black waterline pencils.

on roadtrips toby is almost always in control of the aux. @tobyislame has a REALLY fucking good toby playlist. (sorry for the @ by the way, whoopsies)

toby hoards things. he collects things, then will refuse to get rid of them even though they serve literally no purpose. he probably has a bunch of rocks with googly eyes stuffed away in a shoebox in his closet.

also,, he's probably allergic to bees.

[corvidae-00]

Tsudere /sub touch starved Jax in heat that pretends to hate the reader but does things to secretly be with them x a fem happy but smart Uzadere that loves being in the circus.She loves adventures,animals,cute things,fighting,food ect! lots of energy too but can be pretty insensitive and a little selfish with a little crush on jax. I feel like at first jax would completely reject liking her then he would be extra mean,then Maybe subconsciously know he likes her amd hates the feeling lol. cus he copes by trying to not have feelings and tries to act "tough". its pretty obvious that the reader is in love with him but his dumb ass cant catch on . She gives lots of compliments which makes him flustered and mad ( he is mad bc he thinks nobody likes him that much, he is mean to her to make her go away but it doesn't work ) but he pretends not to care. the reader would definitely confesses first tho. Sorry for such a long request its just that not many people write jax in this sorta way so i had to be detailed lol. also if you don't wanna use female pronouns you can make it non gender ofc 😅tysm for even reading such a long thing! and you don't have to do this at all lr you can switch it up. Anything is VERY appreciated tho😊 also i feel like max would be a massive virgin due to how annoying he is...he definitely a horny bitchless rabbit-

AHHHH! MY FIRST ASK ;0; Thank you!!! And i personally LOvE Jax- like its an issue 0-0 but im so happy to write for him first! your request is amazing and i truly love it! i hope i did it justice!!! i hope you dont mind HCs! if you did want a story just hit me back up in the answer box and ill write a lil something for ya! ;)

MDNI BELOW THE CUT+ Warnings: Smutty smut themes, bottom Jax <3- Cussing, swearing, the norm

The Reader definitely brought light to the Circus, when she first appeared she was the TALK OF THE TENT, everyone was happy to finally have someone around to liven up the place- > besides jax- the little shit made it his sole duty to make sure Reader was the punchline of his jokes or somehow always "in his way" and the Reader often got the butt of the assult. > Jax being Jax when the feelings for reader started to arise- he got scared- a little worried- upset even. More at himself than you but still pretty pissy- this just made the tourment wose oh lord- > Reader found this fun, more ways to annoy and poke and proad at Jax, finding his constant target on the Reader absolutely hilarious > Reader always calling the oblivious rabbit pet names!!! *Toots, Fluff butt, Shnookums (Only because it pissed Jax off and everyone would laugh), babes, Etc Etc, > Jax STILL oblivious to the reader ;0; taking it as her teasing him and pushing him and oh no we cant have that!!!! Jax haaates it. Secretly likes it HATES IT- >Despite the tension between the two Jax would often threaten Caine or sneak the other circus members things of value to be around reader. not knowing why- HE IS MADLY IN LOOOVE he wanted to be around Reader!! SMUT >Jax in heat is something i dont think even he saw coming- like they are digital code- BUT DAMN- > Stuck in his room alone humping a pillow and pulling his ears over his face embarrassed beyond belief at his own actions > Reader was coming to annoy Jax concerned why she didnt see him at breakfast (His favorite meal of the day may i add- >Knocking on his door reader had a shit eating grin "Sleeping in pookie?" She calls through the door only a groan and a loud huff was the response she got >Thats rude. Reader thinks and just assuming he is having one of his man period days- Reader enters his room- and boy is the sight she sees amazing- Jax face down and ass up with a pillow under his hips, face flushed a deep purple and his overalls down to his waist- > Reader and Jax are just staring at eachother with wide eyes >"G-GET OUT!!" "Nah i dont think i will" >Lets just say reader helps the little bunny get the relief he was so looking for- >They dont argue as much anymore-

----------------------------------------------------- THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I hope you enjoyed your request and it was too your liking! im still getting back into writing so its a slow process!! let me know what you think!!! thank you so much!!! <3333

[aphroditesbaby1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3

♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.

♡ W/C: 6,919

♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand. 

“Totally -  my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said. 

“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily. 

“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm 

“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off 

“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently. 

He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night. 

“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining 

“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.  

“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit. 

“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge. 

Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe 

“Where do you need me?” He asked her 

“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl. 

“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom. 

“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips. 

“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day. 

“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost. 

“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles 

“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 

“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.

“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain. 

Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes. 

“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks. 

“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained. 

Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later. 

“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna. 

“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile. 

“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them. 

“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit 

“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can. 

“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked. 

Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next. 

“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged. 

“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained 

“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat. 

“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. 

“What happened?” She asked

“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory. 

“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously. 

“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’  then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained. 

Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan. 

“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock. 

She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her. 

Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?

She’d thought to herself. 

But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever- 

“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before. 

“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around. 

“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big 

“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!” 

“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks. 

“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer. 

Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said 

Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking. 

“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter. 

Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said. 

“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire. 

“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table. 

“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them. 

“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin. 

“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch. 

“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her. 

Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy. 

“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say. 

“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks. 

Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid. 

“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods. 

“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows. 

“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so. 

“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd. 

They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said 

“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on” 

Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm. 

Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply. 

“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath. 

“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over. 

“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna. 

She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag. 

Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off. 

“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint. 

Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store. 

“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently  

“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath. 

“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd. 

“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously 

“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her. 

“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly

“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes. 

“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.  

It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt. 

That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter. 

Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly. 

“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan. 

Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room. 

“Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile. 

“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots. 

“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand. 

“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open. 

“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds 

“To?” Syd asked. 

“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.

“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table. 

“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away. 

“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna 

“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink. 

“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps 

“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said. 

Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves. 

“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table. 

“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed. 

Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her 

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge. 

“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo. 

“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar. 

“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.

 “ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer. 

“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously. 

“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing. 

“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up. 

“she’s-“ Carmen starts

“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her. 

“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her 

Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years. 

“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse. 

“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them. 

Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts 

“What does that mean?” He asked her 

“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion 

“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused. 

“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t. 

“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked 

“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.

 “Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions. 

“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement 

“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs. 

Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop. 

“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip. 

The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate. 

“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head. 

“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart. 

“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat. 

“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off 

“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes. 

Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes. 

“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync. 

“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up. 

“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement. 

“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall. 

“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.

Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well. 

“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard 

“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip. 

“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled 

“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow. 

He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room. 

“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna 

“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder. 

“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars. 

He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone. 

“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off. 

Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly. 

“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. 

“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over. 

“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach. 

“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near. 

“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves. 

“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly. 

Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question. 

Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“

Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly. 

Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear. 

“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day” 

“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned. 

The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.  

He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here. 

“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started 

“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly 

“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit. 

“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.

“I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his. 

They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said 

“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily. 

“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit. 

“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again. 

“Why do you think?” He asked quietly. 

“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper. 

“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft. 

“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked 

“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit. 

“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“ 

She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin. 

The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times. 

He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin. 

The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond. 

Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.  “T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for choosing my roommate over my “friend” group?

This ones a doozy. (All of the people mentioned are in their 20s, but for the sake of privacy, nothing too specific.)

So I  was in a polygamous relationship with two other people in highschool. Let’s call them H and M. We’ve been really, really close for a very long time, but after highschool, we just sort of drifted apart, and we all mutually decided to break up. We still remained friends, even though some feelings are still there, I do feel like it wouldn’t be the best idea to get back together anytime soon, because everytime there’s some mention of it, it just gets sort of awkward.

Since highschool, I moved to a really trashy location because it was cheap, but I wasn’t planning on staying there long-term. H and M got kind of lucky and got sort of high paying jobs, but recently H has been relocated (closer to where I live) and i offered to let him crash (or move in) at my place. H had been very against this idea, since he really doesn’t like the town and he’s trying to convince his job to send him somewhere else. This kind of hurt me, but i didn’t want to say anything.

A couple months later i got a roommate, lets call them D, (a coworker of mine) and they’re pretty chill. Sometimes i will rant to them about my past relationship and how things got awkward (even if i don't harbor resentment against my exes) and they’ve been on my side. They think that i should break off from them because its all just awkward and i don't seem to enjoy their company, but i very much do, even if it can be awkward at times, so i told them that’d i remain friends with them. Everytime i mention them, though, thats all they would say to me, which has become kinda frustrating, so i just sort of dropped it.

Heres the kicker.

H haaates D. In my mind, first impressions were fine. The four of us went to dinner together, and i’m very social, so i thought the conversation was going really well. But when we went back to our apartment, H told me that he and M didn’t like D very much (Though i haven't heard anything from M himself, he also didn’t speak against this). After that i went kinda quiet and only later texted the group chat and told them that i don't want them speaking out negatively against D, especially since they’ve been there for me when H and M were too busy.

We got into an argument over it, and H says that D is not a good friend and implied that they were into me, and just sort of hanging out with me to get in my pants, and that he was just looking out for me. I got mad and told him it wasn’t any of his business, because we’re broken up anyway. He said it had nothing to do with our relationship, and reiterated that he was just thinking about me in this scenario. I told him to shut up and stay out of my relationships, and ever since, he hasn’t been talking to me.

M took a neutral stance, but let me know that H thinks that D’s getting in between us. I don’t really know what he means, and it’s hard to get an answer out of him when everytime we mention the relationship we all just laugh it off. I don’t know what to do. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ventisslut]

God I love Venti (go figure, since I follow this blog). God of wind, song, (possibly time), AND hope? Venti supremacy. On a side note of that, all my friends rib me for liking venti so much "cause he's a femboy" despite my insistence that his lore is just SO GOSH DARN COOL (and yes, I do like his design a LOT, but that's a footnote, not the main reason 😞)

There's nothing wrong with liking femboys anon! Femboys are cute!

But yeah i feel your frustrations and haaate it when people bring down Venti into just being a femboy when he's got so much more going on for him. All that lore like you said. Just ignore your friends, they sound annoying, no offense lol.

People always do this. I watch genshin vids on youtube and both fans and content creators always just call him a femboy and move on.

And no, "gay or European" jokes are not funny guys. Istg people always write that shit for him. He's European. (And also pan lol)

[gogandmagog]

so what are your favorite books/authors besides lm montgomery...I maybe just maybe am tailoring my goodreads tbr for next year 👀

“I love a book that makes me cry.”

– Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables

And apparently me too??? I’m just over here adding this grossly popular quote right at the top of this list after having wrote it up, because when I look back over these all-star books that rushed to be highlighted, I realise that… every last one of these moved me to tears.

But I’ve read them all half-a-dozen of times, at least! 🥺 So, here we go, here we go!

Beloved by Toni Morrison. This one knocked me out, good and proper. It’s such a masterpiece. It starts in the 1870’s of Ohio and follows a former slave and her daughter. It’s got a strong Haunted House vibe (there is a ghost), and it opens up with both something quite Maud-would-appreciate-this-ish and quite chilling; "124 WAS SPITEFUL. Full of a baby's venom. The women in the house knew it and so did the children. For years each put up with the spite in his own way, but by 1873 Sethe and her daughter Denver were its only victims." Mind, some people haaate this book, and feel quite strongly about it — but I like prosey books (this is the top complaint as far as I can tell), and this one is certainly that. Some very harrowing descriptions of the abuse of slaves, to be sure, but I personally have never been one to turn away from that ugliness, because remembering and understanding its weight feels important.

Stoner by John Williams. This is a little bit like ‘life sucks, and then you die’ — hyper precise about mundanities and is frankly a huge red flag to see sitting on a dudes bookshelf but… I loved it so much. 😅 It’s quiet, but poignant, and in its simplest rendering is about a very bored English Professor falling greatly in love with someone who is not his wife. Keep in mind, I’m hardly a girl who thinks infidelity is either cute or excusable… but this book firmly lodged itself in my heart, anyway.

Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin. I’m a HUGE BIG HUGE BIG HUGE Baldwin fan. And this is the book that started it, for me. Like, this novel will fully pull you apart, and give you a wallowing. I’d say it's even a great atmospheric read for winter, and I also even want to go ahead and say this book is considered a classic, but I could be making that up; maybe it’s just a classic to me. The plot surrounds the struggles of a bisexual man in late 1950’s Paris; he’s just proposed to his girlfriend, but he goes on and has a relationship with a male bartender. There’s race, misogyny, and class issues here too, but this book isn’t so heavy that it becomes cumbersome to read. It’s actually quite beautiful. 

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. Another prosey book. Maybe the most prosey book I’ve ever read… you don’t really get a break from it. But it’s so lush, and visceral, and the word play is sometimes so genius that you don’t mind getting fully lost in it (at least, I didn't!). This book could be labeled “tragedy” because it’s sometimes rather bleak – it's about fraternal Indian twins, Kerala history, and the lasting impact of childhood traumas, as well as the exploitation of the weak, really. But, there’s high points too!

Elsewhere if you haven’t read Peter Pan as an adult, I urge and beg of you to. J.M. Barrie (that’s James Matthew Barrie, and I will never stop conspiring that this is intentional of Montgomery and James Matthew Blythe) is right up there with Lucy Maud in the realm of exquisite and sweet storytelling that transcends age.

Of course Shirley Jackson, but you’re already a reader there! Fanny Howe has been an obsession of mine lately, too — I think I’ve posted her twice here and here — despite her being a poet, which is something of a fault that I’m being very charitable about overlooking (only half-joking, I really usually don’t care for poetry [except you Mary Oliver], not even LMM’s or by extension Anne or Walter’s either). Eve Babitz and Joan Didion are close personal friends (okay, it’s one-sided).

Anyone else that I read over and over are so classic that it’s almost white noise/nonsense to list them. I think the Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is my all-time never-to-be-defeated, and Lolita (despite its very uncomfortable content) by Vladimir Nabokov is a close second (I once saw Lolita cited as being ‘a love letter to the English language’ and I frankly agreed with my whole chest), and Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell (his essays are things of brilliance too) takes bronze. I also obviously throw myself at the feet of the likes of C.S. Lewis and Lewis Carroll and Fyodor Dostoevsky and Virginia Woolf and Kafka and Sylvia Plath and Charles Dickens and James Joyce, and all of Those Guys too. Genuinely. I also wholly stan Washington Irving. He’s most famous for Sleepy Hallow, which I’ll link right here because if you tap on it and read even a single line, I think you’ll be like, ‘oh right, he is sensational.’ And this quality continues throughout his catalogue!

Signing off with a true and sincere hope that you’ll consider sharing your TBR list with everyone, and maybe some recommendations of your own, too!!! Your opinion means worlds!!!

[frozenhi-chews]

starlo would ramble and rant about u to ceroba but insist its a hatred thing (during the rivals part of ur relationship) (it is definitely not a hatred thing.)

OOOO YES ROTTEN STAR DYNAMICS!!! YEAAAASSSSSS!!!

Oh gosh this DEFINITELY happens!! It even happens unprompted, like the two of them sit at the saloon for a drink, Ceroba hoping it'd be a calm day, when Starlo immediately starts on a rant about how much he Does Not Like Rotten Jack. And she's all 'ohh boy, here we go again.'

A lot of the time he doesn't even realize his ranting, to Ceroba or the Four or anyone else, doesn't sound like he hates her. It sounds like he...ADMIRES her. And not just in a "I have respect for her" way, it sounds like someone in denial that he likes her! Like, LIKES HER likes her! How well she focuses, how strong she is, how intense that glare of hers is, that stupid nickname she called him that tooootally didn't make his insides flip and his soul skip a beat, ohhh he HAAATES it ALLL!!

It doesn't help that it sounds like they're flirting when they're fighting. Or that North Star seemed rather flustered when Rotten Jack pushed him against a wall. Or her her smirk when he pulls his gun on her and presses it against her throat.

It's all flirting, but it's the fronts playing with each other while the people themselves are freaking out on the inside. It's also why their relationship could only be flirting but nothing more when they were rivals, as fun as it was to fling those around like no ones business. They only knew the FRONTS, and not the people behind the masks.

Which is why I love the Rotten Star dynamic, it could have only gone so far. Both secretly yearning for the other, but only knowing the surface level, and it couldn't go further than that. It was also safer to flirt because the personas were easy to deal with, because they could brush it off. However, once the hat and bandana came off, it was a much different story. Out in the open, but finally able to PROGRESS with that relationship

Ask game here

[violet-moonstone]

Eretlout Headcanons

Eret likes to put things on higher shelves so Snotlout has to ask him for help.

Eret thinks Snotlout being tiny is adorable and over time, Snotlout feels a bit less insecure about his height. (But he will still stand on boxes during arguments to assert dominance)

If Snotlout is being stubborn/bratty, Eret will just pick him up and throw him over his shoulder. Sometimes Snotlout will intentionally provoke him and be like “oh no…I really hope you don’t pick me and throw me around…I would absolutely haaate that!”

Also, if Eret calls Snotlout out for being childish, Snotlout will absolutely stomp his foot and go “no I’m not!” thus proving the point.

When they’re annoyed at each other Eret will be like “Oh what’s that? I feel like someone’s speaking to me but they’re so close to the ground I can’t hear!” and Snotlout will grab Eret’s face to put them at the same level, at which point Eret forgets whatever he was annoyed about and kisses Snotlout.

Despite the extreme heigh difference, Snotlout is not always the little spoon. He usually is, but sometimes he wants to hold Eret too.

They became a couple after an argument where Snotlout kept angrily talking about how hot Eret is and how he thinks that makes him entitled to things. Like “Oh you think just because you’re this big, tall, strong, handsome guy you can…etc etc” and Eret just stands there absolutely confused before realizing Snotlout is hopelessly attracted to him.

Snotlout had an “I’m not gay just because I banged a dude” argument with Eret and Eret pointed out that all his expressions of attraction to women have been performative simply because they were attractive, not because he was attracted *to* them. And then Snotlout has an “Oh, shit I think I’m gay” moment.

Spitelout doesn’t approve of their relationship but over the years, Snotlout has finally decided that he can’t live to please his father and doesn’t owe him a certain type of relationship or biological heirs. 

Ruffnut is lowkey jealous of Snotlout at first but is also really happy for him and thinks he and Eret are adorable together. Fishlegs is also extremely excited about them because he’s a sweetheart.

When Snotlout gets worked up and very in his own head about something, Eret is really good at calming him down.

Snotlout still struggles with feeling the need to project a tough exterior around other people, but those walls eventually come down when he and Eret are alone.

As we know from RTTE, Snotlout’s mother taught him to sew. He likes to sew things for his boyfriend. Eret will brag to people about how many of his clothes Snotlout has made/mended for him.

Despite Snotlout's ability to to confidently flirt with women in the past, Eret's flirting makes Snotlout's brain short circuit and he has absolutely no idea what to say in response. He either takes it as teasing at first and goes "no, you're hot!...wait!, shit, nevermind," and storms off, or once he understands his feelings more, he just blushes and stammers something nonsensical.

[hearts4juzi]

TELL ME SHIT ABOUT VANESSA IN TRIO AU I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT HER!!!!

VANESSA!!!!!!

Vanessa's life goes pretty much the same as canon as far as childhood goes except! Gregory is her biological brother. Originally they were seperated in the divorce but when her mom died he had to come live with them and vanessa HATED THAT. she really didnt want greg here with her dad it made her SOOO UPSET and then her dad was an asshole so she. uhm.

Stabbed him. to death.

Will, who was around to see it (totally not having just killed someone himself, the irony) is like "wow. i should call teh cops on u for killing that guy." and vanessa BEGS HIM NOT TO and ehs like "mmmmmmmmmmokay but u can actually help me since you're already a criminal haha" and basically makes her clean up HIS murder while he helps sweep hers under the rug.

And tghen he keeps it going because she doesnt wanna go to jail or die or anything rn and hes holding that blackmail over her (plus if she gets him in trouble that only reflects badly on her bc she helped clean it up)

but when she decides that she deserves prison anyways, wills like "cool but my sons called the cops on me before and i came out innocent so theres a good chance I wont get caught" and he threatens to use gregory next/hurt gregory or smth like that so vanessa is forced to stay

she hates being called vanny because thats the nickname will coined for her

Luis is here too hai!!! he is constantly trying to cheer her up with like. the most surface level bullshit and at first william finds it amusing so he pairs them up a TON even when luis starts flirting with her because william thinks its the funniest shit but of course luis starts digging too deep and him and vanessa become chill (ish) with each other because she basically tells him to fuck off. with that same energy he PISSES HER OFFFF but he eventually does but hes still suuuper ignorant and pretty selfish and he keeps digging and snooping around but doesnt wanna tell ppl bc hes scared it'll hurt their relationship. vanessa wants to shake him by his shoulders and tell him to get her someone who will help her but william has caught on to luis by now and keeps an eye on them when theyre together (or gets henry to do it, either one) and eventually luis catches them killing someone and william kills him. oops!

vanessa is a bit uneasy about that because a) luis was ehr only hope of getting away from william atm and b) lots of people knew luis and theyd notice he was gone

but williams a smart guy and manages to shove that under the rug lol

Vanessa HAAATES henry btw. she thinks hes crazy and annoyign and he's constantly getting into fights with william. she also hates him bc he built the mimic which escaped and is now causing chaos and ruining their plans.

also she LOVES williams kids and she brings gregory over a lto to hand out with evan and theyre buddies but she is so worried about them because the way william treats them sometimes reminds her of her own dad and she doesnt want them to end up like herrr

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

[oleanderblume]

Ima say that Charlie's mom has Alastor's soul and he became the radio demon and gained his power in exchange for doing her bidding, based on what's been shown, souls are immortal unless sold to another sinner/demon. So my assumption is Alastor gained the souls of other overlords in order to be able to kill them, OR, he didn't kill them and is/was emmassing an army for Lilith. She seems to be left out of the story, but heaven's talk about "another uprising" makes me think that there was one previously, began by Lilith, not Lucifer.

Lucifer is an angel afterall, a fallen one, but an angel nontheless, and if his banishment to hell was punishment for his perceived transgression, and Lilith convinced him in the past to stage an uprising against heaven, it stands to reason why he wouldn't do it again with Charlie's life on the line.

My guess is Lilith started the first uprising, and that failed, prompting the exterminations to start happening, and after Charlie was born and the exterminations still persisted, Lilith probably wanted to do another uprising. But Lucifer would have been much more reluctant to do that when he has a daughter to protect.

So lilith leaves, taking Alastor to do her own planning over that 7 year gap. Then she hears about Charlie's plan, sends Alastor to protect her and the hotel, while she's still working on the next war effort.

At least...that's my guess at what's been going on.

It also makes sense why Alastor is so uniquely invested in the hotel and why he haaates Lucifer. He's the step dad of the situation lol.

Also, I just love Lucifer and his whole personality, Charlie takes after him in almost every way and its adorable lol.

The shows pacing is kind of suffering in the time scale department, i think it would have served the plot better if it were released spaced out similarly to Helluvaboss, because the binge format isn't conducive to the massive assumed time jump between episode 4 and episode 5. But that's more to do with the platform and way the episodes are being released, than the actual writing of the show.

The first 4 episodes take place over the course of 3 or 4 months, not in direct succession. And the last 2 episodes will probably take place during the last month before extermination, and then the season finale on the day of extermination. That pacing makes sense, but because of the way the episodes are released, it doesn't *feel* that way initially. Not the fault of the writers, more so the fault of Amazon's bizarre releasing schedule.

The philosophy of the show is really neat, reminescent of The Good Place. Where heaven is ridiculously underpopulated because of the archaic rules that gatekeep almost everyone out of heaven, and hell is overpopulated because the system of judgment is so off balance that it doesn't account for modern morality and extenuating circumstances. <- this is basically the same as The Good Place, but with more furries and more direct reference to Christian theology.

So far, i like it a lot, and im interested to see where it diverges from The Good Place.

I doubt Charlie is going to stay mad at Vaggie for long, for one she didn't seem particularly shaken in the first place, and Vaggie has shown her devotion to Charlie's cause from the start, her being an angel and her past of being and exterminator being a major hang up for Charlie would contradict Charlie's entire philosophy of "people are capable of change"

Also, i don't think Angel will get to heaven, in fact, i think he would get there and choose to stay in hell because hell is actually better than heaven in a lot of ways— especially if you're looking at it from the specifically Christian lense. Heaven wouldn't tolerate the things most souls would *want* as a part of their paradise, especially not by modern standards.

I honestly think that heaven will be described, as it has been thus far, as only accepting to the hyper religious zealot sorts that are deeply hypocritical— why else would Adam be there? Dude is the epitome of a red-pilled mysogynist dickwad. He likely got into heaven based solely on his kissup nature to the presiding God.

on what is considered appropriate behavior.

I think this is the general criticism the show is going for, a solid combination of critiquing the functionality of a system like heaven and hell, and a critique of the "virtues" one would be required to follow in order to get there.

Fuck, even Lucifer was taken aback by Charlie being in a queer relationship. To me that speaks a lot to the values *he* as an angel, was taught.

[professional-termite]

I like your headcannons for NATM. If you want you can say more!

-NATM anon

okok sorry i didnt post this immediately, i had to type them out and ive been busy!!

- percy (@secretly-larry-daley) and i have been talking about transfem larry daley and i love her more than anything. she is my favorite thing ever. my beloved

- jed threatens to shoot anyone who misgenders her. octavius stabs peoples feet. teddy literally has no idea what trans means but he loves his daughter more than anything in the whole world

- jed has sensory issues, which is part of the reason why he covers up so much despite not really needing to. he haaates certain textures and hes super picky about what materials his clothes are made out of

- octavius is scared of dogs. this is based on the fact that dogs terrify me and i am projecting :))))

- akh likes legally blonde and mean girls. i base this 100% off of vibes. the man would jam out to world burn and elle woods is his idol.

- also based completely off vibes, i think the minis would like the original indiana jones movies. there are specific instructions for night guards on how to pull up indiana jones on the laptop when the minis get rowdy

- the minis break the laptop out of anger when indiana jones and the dial of destiny comes out because that movie sucks ass

these are all of them for now, i might post some more later if i think of them

[foxymoxynoona]

JK better get his act together for making our Sasha bear go through all this bs or else...

I haaate predatory, or even dumb jokes from people I'm not friends with. I would have immediately said something or lashed out if I were in Sasha's place.

I went to this birthday party at a karaoke bar with my boyfriend and when we came into the room, one of his friends immediately said "Oh, you're the taxi caller, right?" 🙄 Just because I helped him get a cab once because he's a foreigner doesn't give him the right to disrespect me like that. I was pissed about it to say the least.

And my bf kept saying I should have talked to him about it when he was sober so he can can actually digest what I was saying. (To be fair, that guy has zero EQ and has no social awareness or whatsoever but it doesn't justify his behaviour to me) And he kept ignoring my request to have my personal space and was all up in my face the whole night. So long story short, my bf and I agreed that I'll never hang out with that dude or go to a party where he's present ever again.

Maybe when you get older, your tolerance for dumb stuff gets low lol. As in, I don't want to waste my time talking to or even being near people I don't like if I have the option to avoid them.

I do think tolerance for dumb stuff gets lower as you get older. I'm so much less bothered by a ton of stuff that used to drive me to the brink when I was younger. But I also think I have greater clarity on speaking up or putting my foot down on things that really matter too, you know? As in, you can't just walk all over me, I'll just leave 🤷‍♀️ Not hanging around someplace if home is looking better haha.

BUT I want to go back to the first thing because I don't understand it! I get that the guy was an invasive tool the rest of the night but when he said "oh you're the taxi caller right?" do you mean because he wasn't greeting you as his friend's girlfriend it was disresectful? I'm so curious, you know how much I love the culture clash stuff haha especially if this guy was another American friend of your bf's, because without the additional context I would have thought he was just referencing a prior interaction in a friendly way. Or do you mean just his whole BEING was disrespectful 😂

[rtgame]

Hmmmm since you just rbd the thing about wanting asks

Favourite game of all time + fav character from that game?

man i gotta say i am horrible at choosing favorites hmmm. i think i'm just doing my top 3 games

borderlands 2 reset my brain and i. houghhhh i fucking love borderlands and like. oh people are sooo going to call me cringe but like AS A CHARACTER i really do enjoy handsome jack like. he's a good villain! hes fun to analyze and tear apart and also fucking murder and like, genuinely i think borderlands IS actually a good series PLEASSSEEE dont let those "ew cringe" people make u think otherwise. i love borderlands

i need to fucking murder gabriel ultrakill and be covered in his blood. im not elaborating.

ugh ok so like. i know overwatch is bad we all hate overwatch. i HAAATE overwatch 2 i hate the path overwatch has taken and i hate blizzard. however. HOWEVER. overwatch came out when i was 16 and it was, almost tragically, fundamental to my life; it's how my main friend group got together, i got to meet my partner irl because of it etc etc etc like. overwatch sucks. but it was good for a while and it genuinely had a good impact on me. and also i really like d.va as a character i played that girl for several years i have a bit too much d.va merch. my comfort jacket is a fucking d.va themed jacket (that is falling apart :( ) like. i really really like d.va and i feel like back in 2016 she had an impact on the world and it sucks that she's an overwatch character lol she's genuinely one of my favorites