#also come back and tell me if this makes zero sense lol i tried to keep things relevant but i get ranty when i smoke :[]

[mmmthornton]

i lost my best friend when my radfem beliefs became a problem with her sister who's in a relationship with someone who calls herself nonbinary. it hurt so bad to be thrown away. but its been about 9 months since it happened and it's probably for the best but damn i had not that many friends to begin with and its lonely. any ideas on how to make new friends?

Ahh, I'm so sorry. I mean what I said in the post, but I don't want to sound like I'm dismissing how much heartbreak can come out of friend breakups regardless of the reasons. I had a real 'cis'ter in terfery* at one point, and when we parted ways it involved a radical shift in my personal, living situation, and home lives all at once! I feel for you a lot because of this.

First step I would recommend is to give yourself a chance to grieve if you haven't already. Whatever you feel about the relationship ending, give yourself room to feel those emotions in a safe and/or private way. Not really like, hiding them from others, just using a journal or some creative outlet. The main thing is to not be ashamed of those feelings because it'll make the next steps harder than they have to be. Nine months out, you may already have a handle on that part but if not here's your reminder to do that.

The next and really only other step that I suggest is to go out of your way to say "yes" to things. Thats one of those things you read on a tea bag and its so much simpler to say than to just, immediately apply to your life, but when you break it down and start making a habit of applying it to your behavior it gets a lot easier to stick to. You didn't give specifics about your age or where you life or what your situation is, so I'm going to keep on the general side but I still want to get across what I mean as something you can practically do. A normal person in a normal routine walks around turning stuff down pretty constantly and passively when we don't need or want to introduce a change in our day-to-day. What you're trying to do here is deliberately change up your routine to something that brings the kind of people we want in our lives, and you might not know exactly WHAT that looks like yet.

Opportunities to say yes to things might look completely different depending on who you are or where you're at, but I'm going to give you a super helpful little phrase to say to yourself when you start to see these: "I could try that."

Someone in your work Slack channels suggests starting a book club for a book that's on the bestseller list, but is from a genre you don't read? Yeah, I could try that.

Your school is looking for volunteers to help set up a student orientation event? Sure I could give it a shot.

You come home one day to a gift left by a mysterious rugby angel that includes a pair of cleats in your size, a tournament-regulation rugby ball, and a coupon for a mouth guard? Okay I could try this.

I think a lot of advice is like "Go to movie screenings where people you like might be hanging out!" and I think, while well-intentioned, its kind of missing a key part in why that would be a good plan lol. It doesn't matter so much the thing you say yes (or even a begrudging "i'll try") to, and its not like you're making a list of qualities in a future friend to check off. You're giving yourself the flexibility to branch out, learning more about what you benefit from and who you want to keep in your life. Maybe you'll go to three rugby practices and not get anything else from it but some cool bruises, or maybe you'll play D&D one day because the boyfriend of a friend of a friend has been DYING to try DM'ing so you humor him, and then ten years later you don't talk to almost anyone from that original campaign but you're a part of several different groups of friends who play and they're all from different circles, and you would never have that connection with this number of people today if you weren't willing to say "I could be this other person who plays tabletop games even if I haven't been that person yet. I'm open to the opportunity."

I hope this is helpful; you're already being honest about who you are and that is a wonderful place to start from. You got this, anon!

[sonicboomseason3]

Sonic Boom - Theft

NOTE: Here you guys are, a random excerpt from the larger Sonic Boom Season 3 project I've been working on! If people like this one, then I'm down to share more in the future as well (but only occasionally because I don't want to clog up any of the tags). But yeah, I'm not usually someone who's super confident in my writing, but I genuinely did like how this one ended up, and I want to test the waters with this so. lol.

Some context for this: Shadow has a part-time job at Meh Burger. and it's a running bit for Sonic to have a shitty time every time he tries ordering from him, but people who have been on my blog long enough already know about that particular lore. Also, sometime before this, Meh Burger replaced all of their menus with thin slabs of steel with words etched into them due to Reasons. Don't worry about it. Smiles.

--

“Uh…” Sonic faltered when he noticed that Shadow’s expression was visibly stormier than it usually was. “You… okay?”

“Where are my gloves.”

“Come again?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, hedgehog,” Shadow snapped. He pointed an accusatory finger right between Sonic’s eyes, causing him to go cross-eyed. “I haven’t been able to find them since this morning, and so I’ve had no other choice but to wear a backup pair provided by Meh Burger. Where are they.”

It took Sonic another moment to register the words coming out of Shadow’s mouth. Indeed, the latter was wearing the standard white gloves that everyone else wore instead of those weird gauntlet things. Aside from the golden rings clamped around his wrists, Shadow’s whole look was suddenly looking very, very plain.

“I… don’t know?” Sonic slowly replied, pushing Shadow’s finger back towards its owner. “What makes you think I have anything to do with that?”

Shadow scoffed and crossed his arms, clearly not believing him. “Because you are the one who would gain the most out of stealing from me. You want my gloves to enhance your own gear, which will in turn make your battles more efficient.”

“Are you serious, Shadow? I don’t even know where to begin with any of that,” Sonic said, beginning to get annoyed at all the hoops Shadow was jumping through just to blame him for his personal problems. “One, if I really felt like upgrading anything, I would’ve just asked Tails instead of going through all that trouble. Two, I have a perfectly good pair of gloves that I’ve been wearing for years, and I have zero problems with them. No holes, no chafing, no nothin’. I don’t even see what makes your gloves so special.”

“Of course they’re special. They’re the only pair in existence, unlike your inferior ones.”

Sonic’s eye twitched. “Yeah, well, at least mine don’t make me look like I’m wearing a couple of toilet plungers on my hands.”

“What?”

Honestly, Sonic didn’t really think that Shadow’s gloves were that bad, but he had his limits to how much he would take lying down before dishing right back. While he was definitely getting better at the whole ‘ordering Meh Burger when Shadow was on his shift’ thing, there were still times when he lost his patience. This was one of those times.

“Hey, can you exchange insults somewhere else?” Dave, showing up out of nowhere to stand next to Shadow, whined. “I’m sick of doing overtime cleaning up after your fights.”

Sonic supposed he should feel some semblance of gratitude towards Dave for preventing the fistfight that had definitely been about to happen, but he was still too irritated at being falsely accused. “Dave, tell Shadow it makes no sense for me to steal his gloves.”

Dave turned to Shadow with an eyebrow raised. “Your gloves are missing?”

“Since this morning. And if it truly wasn’t Sonic who took them—”

“Dude, for the millionth time, it wasn’t.”

“—then I will hunt down this unknown thief if it’s the last thing I do,” Shadow finished, completely ignoring Sonic. “And they will pay for daring to steal from me.”

“Wow, it’d sure suck to be them then,” Dave yawned, raising a hand to cover his mouth. The other two immediately took notice of the fact that he had on a very familiar red, black, and white gauntlet. “Too bad I don’t know anything.”

Sonic stared at Dave’s hand shielding his yawn, and then stared at his other hand hanging by his side. Sure enough, there was Shadow’s other glove. “Seriously?”

“David,” Shadow ground out through clenched teeth as he reached for one of Meh Burger’s steel menus.

To Dave’s credit, he didn’t even flinch at the realization that he had been found out. Instead, he closed his eyes in acceptance right as Shadow smacked him in the side of the head with the menu, the CLANG resounding throughout the entire restaurant. He fell to the floor, out cold.

“What’s wrong with you, Shadow?” Sonic asked in exasperation. “You’ve been here with him for hours at this point. How in the heck did you not notice until now?”

Shadow didn’t reply, only gazing down at Dave’s unconscious form with open disdain. Something else in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and his scowl deepened. “Sonic,” he snarled, his mood worsening even more. “My air shoes are missing.”

“Come again?”

Shadow, growling like a wild animal and possessing more flexibility than a limp pool noodle, kicked his leg high up in the air and slammed it down on the counter for Sonic to see.

Thankfully, he had socks on, but Sonic still could have gone on with his life without the increased proximity to Shadow’s unshod foot. “Oh my god, dude, don’t—”

“I said my air shoes are missing,” Shadow repeated dangerously, his leg still resting on the counter. The counter where food was supposed to be served. “If you have something to do with this, say so now.”

Sonic threw his hands up in the air. “We’ve already proven I didn’t steal your gloves, so why would I steal your stupid shoes?! And again, how do you go around not noticing this stuff?!”

Shadow opened his mouth say something, but the sound of an evil laugh coming from above cut him off. They both looked up at the sky and saw Eggman hovering in the air… with some newly acquired footwear and not his Eggmobile. Sonic slapped a palm to his forehead as Shadow’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“There you are, Sonic! Behold, my greatest plan yet!” Eggman announced smugly, descending to the ground and striking a pose in front of his foe. He was trying to look cool, but the effect was slightly dimmed by how he was clearly in pain despite all his gusto. Of course he was, given that Shadow’s shoes were a few sizes smaller than his own. “I’ve figured out a way to match your speed, and now I can finally defeat you, thanks to my new roller skates! Don’t even try to stop me—”

“Trust me, I don’t have to,” Sonic sighed, hand running down his face.

“Wait, what?”

“They’re air shoes,”came three menacing words from right behind Eggman. Eggman barely had the chance to realize that Shadow had teleported from his spot at the counter before another CLANG even louder than the last one rang out. Down the street, a few villagers in their homes opened their windows, poking their heads out in confusion.

“This pathetic island is populated by trash and trash only,” Shadow sniffed. He threw the menu off to the side and bent down to take his shoes back. When he couldn’t remove them so easily, he growled again and resorted to yanking on them with so much force that Sonic was surprised that Eggman’s feet didn’t pop off with them. Putting them under one of his arms, he stomped back over to Dave’s body to do the same with his gloves. With all his gear now back in his hands, he glanced over his shoulder at Sonic. “I’m out of here. You can go get your swill elsewhere. Or starve. It makes no difference to me.”

He teleported away to who even knew where, leaving Meh Burger completely unmanned by anyone still lucid.

Sonic stood quietly for a second before looking down at Eggman, who was face down on the floor with his butt in the air, his toes red from being crammed into ill-fitting shoes, and his hands covering the rapidly forming bruise on the back of his head. “You okay, Egghead?”

“Mombot…” Eggman whimpered, dazed. “I want Mombot…”

“Yeah, I dunno how you thought that could’ve ended any other way, to be honest.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday Fandom :) Zero Chenford in this one but good separate SL’s for them both. Really good growth for Tim though which at this point you all know I love. Let’s dive on in.

3x12 Brave heart.

Tim is paired with Nyla today since Nolan is otherwise occupied. They visit the hospital since Harper wants to check in on John and his son. Tim is annoyed cause they’re gonna get roped into something just being there. He takes a phone call while Harper checks in. It's the venue he booked for Angela's bachelorette party. They're calling him to say they're canceling and keeping his deposit. Tim was already grumpy being here and this is not helping.

Harper rejoins him and he asks her opinion on venues and she's got nothing for him haha They're about to leave then Lo and behold they spot guys with concealed carry’s. Tim mutters how it’s been less than 5 minutes since they arrived. Grumpy Tim has arrived and isn't leaving anytime soon. I do love how he walks up to them. Hand on his duty belt as they approach. Me likey. This man makes me a puddle just walking. My god. How does he do this? The man tries to charm them both. Saying how they must be recruiting from modeling schools now.

It's not working in the least. He then adds on between Tim and Nyla he can’t tell which one is prettier. Harper cuts him off and says clearly her HA! Tim looks so offended. His reaction is the best part. He low key knows how handsome he is. Except when women announce it then he’s shy af. He looks like he took it so personally. LOL

No Lucy around to help him lick his wounds. It's ok Tim I think you're the prettier one hehe They quickly find out it’s La Fiera’s body guards. Their cop spidey senses immediately going into overdrive. Tim groans because now they’re gonna be here all day. Harper asks him what he thinks she’s doing here? Tim says 'Nothing good'… We know that’s right.

Lucy and Jackson are also at the hospital. Their rolling stop turned into more. She took off and destroyed city property. She injured herself in the process and cut her arm. They’re now stuck there until she is patched up. Jackson says he’s gonna grab breakfast since he didn’t this morning. Lucy questions him skipping a meal. He replies he didn’t have a choice Tamara is eating them out of house and home.

Lucy apologies for thrusting her upon their living situation. Jackson is trying to be sweet about it says it’s ok… but wondering when she’s going to be leaving? Lucy says it’s so hard to get ahold of the housing program. They have crazy long wait times to check on her application. Jackson mentions using right now to check since they’re stuck anyways. Lucy lights up says that’s a good point. She gets very excited only 3 callers in line. She is so adorable I can not.

Jackson makes his way back to Lucy. She mocks him for his terrible breakfast choice. I mean it's not a great one ha Everything seems like it’s lining up for them. Their suspect is all patched up so they are ready to go. Their suspects runs just as Lucy’s phone call is answered. Poor Lucy that's some bad luck. Lucy hangs up losing her place in line. They chase her all the way to the parking lot where she passes out….They find out she’s a drug mule and that’s why she collapsed. They’re gonna be at at hospital even longer now especially waiting for a Narcotics detective to show up.

Angela is made aware of La Fiera’s presence at the hospital. Walks away from her OB appointment leaving Wesley hanging. She finds out she’s here "Just for her son." Angela doesn’t believe that for a minute. Wesley comes and finds them all angry she missed her appointment. Tries to ask Tim if this was work related? He makes sure to stay out of their spat LOL Tim is beyond adorable as the scene continues. He lost Angela’s venue of choice earlier. So he tries to make it up with a sports bar LMAO

Oh Timothy, Look at that gorgeous smile of his when he tells her his plan. Tim is so damn proud of himself and is shot down quickly after. Angela's face has me cracking up so very much. Tim gets nervous and says he was joking… He would never....The way he backtracks has me rolling. Watching Tim quake in front of strong women always gets me. What makes him such a sucker for Lucy. Also she is not around to negate his terrible idea's atm and it shows haha

Harper rolls up with security footage of La Fiera clearly not at the hospital "Just for her son." They spot Mack Daniels as one of the guards…Tim’s face is everything when he sees this. Clearly hasn’t changed his ways at all working for a Narco boss. SMH.

They roll up and Mack looks high as a kite. He lies about knowing who his client is. All he tells them is it’s not La Fiera. Tim tries to get him to cooperate. Saying he doesn’t need anymore trouble i’m sure. Mack cracks and says he’s work for Tomas Madrigal. All three of them groan. He’s the kingpin of drugs in Southern California. Multiple investigations going on for him. No way Mack doesn't know that.

He then starts the pity party about why he had to take this job. How it’s all Tim’s fault. He comes at Tim SO hard. Tells them he can’t be picky about the money he makes. Up to his eyes in debt. Tim tells him working for the enemy isn’t the answer. Mack goes on that his client is dying cancer. He’s only there to make sure no one interrupts his final moments. Mmmhmm sure…

Angela calls him out about La Fiera coming by. Mack tells her she only came by to pay her respects. Ok sure Mack… and I don’t find Tim attractive. We’re both telling lies today aren’t we? Clearly she is here to make a play for his business before he dies. They get interrupted by Tomas’s son telling Mack to get back to work. He sends more daggers Tim's way before disengaging with them.

I adore Nyla checking in on Tim. Asking if he's alright? His body language is stiff as a board. Poor love having to reface that decision he made back in 3x06. It was the right call but doesn’t make facing Mack’s wrath any easier. Also seeing how much Mack has fallen from grace since he last saw him. Taking jobs like this. Too bad Lucy isn’t there to help him. Since she’s not he shakes it off and pretends he is fine. When we all know he very much is not. But once again his girl is not there so he will clam right up.

I do love this trio working together. Only thing missing is Lucy. I hope in s6 we see Lucy make detective. Then these three BAMF women and Tim with metro can all work together on a case like this. Be amazing it would. Sigh. A girl can dream can’t she? Anyways Nyla says she certified for wire tapping and they have their next move.

We return to Lucy and Jackson waiting out their suspect. She now has to pass the drugs before they are able to leave. Plus they need someone from narcotics to show which they haven’t. Lucy tries her hand again at the phone call. She’s told she's 46th in line….Jackson says he’ll check on narcotics to see if they’re coming anytime soon.

After he’s told no update he pulls out his phone. Looking back at Lucy like he’s doing something wrong. I mean he is....lol. Lucy notices right away he’s looking at something. She comes over and asks what he’s doing? He lies and says Tiktok Lucy is incensed when she see that is NOT what it is. It’s clearly him watching Tamara. She just doesn't know why. This isn't Jackson's best moment I'll say that.

Lucy is instantly in protective mama mode over Tamara. She's so mad at him. As she should be honestly. I would be pissed too Lucy. WTF Jackson. He tries to cover it up by saying he’s testing their system. Then she pulls a line from Tim’s playbook. Calling Jackson a lying liar who lies baha Also she can break Tim Bradford when he's lying you are not going to fair much better my man ha I’m so offended for Tamara tbh and for Lucy. How Jackson assumes she took his Baby Yoda figurine. Just because of her background.

Jackson decides to step it in more with his next set of words. (Stop you fool....) That she shouldn’t trust Tamara cause she lived on the streets. How he wants her to trust Tamara. But she probably had to do a lot to survive on the street. Lucy is so upset he didn’t tell her how he really felt. Also the way he's coming after Tamara. He continues his witch hunt saying baby yoda is missing. Lucy snaps and says he isn’t. That she broke him. Didn’t think he would notice like he did. She was gonna replace it soon. Then does a Mic drop of a line leaving Jackson stunned. Rightfully so IMO. Not your best moment good sir....

The SL with La Fiera’s son is tragic af. It's all her fault (not that she is going to see it that way.... ) She brought him into the line of fire. Using him as cover to make her dealings. He gets caught in the middle and killed because of it. Tomas's son comes after her and Diego is the collateral damage. Wrong time wrong place for that kid. Its pretty damn sad.

Angela was there talking to her when her son is shot to death. So she blames Angela for the death of her son. He was away from her when the shooting began. (Couldn’t have been the deal she made of course…) This sets up the finale and 4x01 and why LA Fiera comes at Angela like she does. Even though Angela saves her life Diego was in the crosshairs and dies.

Angel gets pinned down and calls for backup. Luckily Nyla and Tim are still in the building. This little moment between them is too cute above. I love their rivalry with one another. Tim saying he’ll take two leaving the third for Harper. She has to over compensate and say she’s got the big guy. Tim’s reply ‘Not that big’ LOL It is sexy af to watch him in action not gonna lie. Dispatches his two pretty quickly.

We return to Jackson and Lucy waiting for their suspect to get out of surgery. Lucy is still on the phone waiting for a call. They finally answer her and she finds out Tamara is in. That she’ll get an email by weeks end. Her little dance of excitement is so damn cute. I swear that is just Melissa coming out and I friggin love it. Jackson takes this opportunity to apologize for being a suspicious jerk. Good man.

Super proud of him for doing this. I love that he wanted to make it right. But grateful Lucy had the foresight to stop him. It would break her heart and Tamara wouldn’t feel ok staying there. Be the worst idea ever to tell her he felt that way. Love Lucy looking out for her in that way. ❤️ His heart is in the right place but it would crush Tamara.

This final scene with Mack gets me right in the feels. Tim waits for him to leave the hospital. Wants to try and get through to him one more time. Mack giving him every excuse in the book why he can’t go to rehab. Tim battles back with more logic. The same kind of logic Lucy would throw at him in a situation like this. Like 3x07 where she destroyed his every point. Asking how many times have they seen junkies act like this? Say the same things? How many actually got out of the hole without going to rehab?

This is such a good scene for Tim. We once again get to see his good heart come out. Watching what’s become of Mack is eating away at him. Tim had to try one more time to help him. To save him from himself. He does a damn good job with his speech. Gah it’s so good. Eric crushes it per usual. Pre-tears in his eyes as he passionately pleas with his friend. Killing me softly.

Look how far Tim has come. I can not. This scene is proof of that growth. Also the good heart he had before it was beat up by Isabel and all that trauma he endured. He's confronting Mack even though he knows he's going to bite his head off. Because it's the right thing to do. Even tells him to use his hate for him. Especially if that's going to be his drive to get better. To get clean and go to rehab finally. That he refuses to give up on him.*heart clutch* You can see Tim slowly getting through to Mack with his unwavering support.

it really hits home when Tim tells him to be a better example for his kids. The way Eric delivers that line. Gets me good. To take his lumps and cowboy up. The beautiful mixture he has now of logic and empathy. It gets through to Mack and he pulls him in for a sweet hug. This hug is the best part. This gets me right in the feels. Lucy would be floored by him in this moment. For Tim to even think to reach out like this. To be there for Mack in this way. My damn heart.

Letting that empathy and good heart of his to see the light of day again. It was always there but it got buried in his trauma. I saw a quote the other day made me think of Tim. Also of the impact Lucy has had on him. ‘I think the most beautiful thing in the world, is watching the light come on in someone’s eyes after they’ve been in the dark so long.’

If that isn’t Lucy and Tim and the impact she’s had on him idk what is. She’s re-awakened this part of him he thought was long gone. The light in his eyes is back. I mean for Tim to even think to reach out like this. His growth always blows me away. He couldn’t stand the thought of his friend drowning. Especially after his hand in it. Needed to be apart of helping him heal. So he took a chance and it worked.

Even when they’re apart Lucy’s impact on him shines through. This scene is absolute beautiful proof of that. This man is wonderful and refuses to let his friend suffer. To go through this alone. So he makes sure he knows he has his back. The scene ends on a sweet note though. Tim asking if he knows any venues for bachelorette parties? Mack giving him same answer he already tried LOL So Cute. I can not.

Lucy and Jackson make it home. This is the cutest part of the episode for them. Tamara has made dinner for them both. it’s a very sweet thing for her to do. Tamara tells Jackson she has something for him. Saying she knows Lucy broke his Yoda thing LOL Then panics and makes sure he knows. Lucy confirms before she continues. This scene is too funny. Tamara got him a cute plushy to replace it. He is floored by her kindness. The fact that she felt the need to replace it at all. Even when she didn't break it.

She says it’s to thank him for letting her stay. It’s the first time she’s felt safe in forever. You watch the guilt wash over Jackson. How much he regrets ever thinking badly of her. He wants to tell her but Lucy stops him. I love the way Lucy gently puts her hand on his arm. Like 'No she doesn’t need to know this.' He course corrects and says she can stay as long she needs to. The smile on Tamara’s face says everything. It’s so sweet.

Jackson geeks out and ask if she’s seen The Mandalorian? She says it’s based on a movie right? Jackson tries to keep his geek in check and says he has a lot to teach her haha it’s very cute way to end the episode for this trio.

This ep although apart was super good for them SL wise anyways. What I love about them. They stand up so well as characters separately. I always prefer them together but I’m not miserable with their SL's apart every once in awhile.

Side notes-non chenford in this case this whole ep was this ha

I do continuously love how soft Nyla has become for Nolan. She drags Tim to hospital to check on him cause Henry collapsed.

It’s cool that Bones is Henry’s mom LOL

Thank you as always to those who support these review’s through likes, comments and reblogs. I love them so much I shall see you all in 3x13 crazy 2 eps away from being done with s3.

[ninjagirlstar5]

Star, stop changing Tamami's design challenge (impossible).

No, for real, I think this is the fifth redesign I've done of her character. I don't know why but the past designs I've made for her just weren't satisfying to me for some reason. Some of the designs I decided were just bad or didn't suit her while the others were similar but I just didn't like how it looked (tank top, large sweater, scarf, the rainbow bracelet and a long skirt). But I...think I've finally landed on a design that I liked the most out of all the ones I've made so far. (Please let it be the last. Please, my brain and heart. I would like to settle on a design and move on!)

ANYWAYS, I used Teruya's DRA sprite as a base for Tamami since, well, she is his mom and she's about as short as DRA!Teruya (or maybe shorter, I don't know, the wiki gave me two heights for his DRA self. I decided she's about 4'8'' to 5''). So it made sense to use this sprite for her, even when I made slight adjustments to her eyes and nose by making the eyes a little wider and bigger and the nose a bit more pronounced as DRA!Teruya's nose is very small. Out of three of the five designs I've made, I kept this short hairstyle of hers with a large ahoge as I loved this style the most and didn't want to change it. I based her bangs off of SDRA2!Teruya's length and style and the back of her hair like DRA!Teruya's, but I changed the way the strands looked so that it'd look more like her own hairstyle but you can still see the resemblance between the two of them. The ahoge, though, is very much real, unlike Kojiro's and Teruya's (they canonically style their hair like that on purpose), and she cannot fix it no matter how hard she tries. So she just gave up and let it be. Tamami got stuck with the protagonist trait, even though she died before the events of Danganronpa, lol. I've never been a fan of fictional kids looking like carbon copies of their parents. Like, you have the meta-power to design these kids anyway you like and you just make them look exactly like one of their parents? Unless their look-alike appearance is plot relevant, it's just weird for them to look so much like one parent that they can easily be mistaken as siblings and has zero resemblance to the other. And that's saying a lot coming from me who looks a lot more like my Irish dad from skin tone alone, but even then people can tell that I'm at least Asian because of my facial structure and even asked as such, tying my appearance to my Filipino mom. I don't know, I just like seeing a mix of traits for the kids to have inherited from their parents, you know? So, since Kojiro already has a design with green hair and green eyes, I decided to have Tamami have a different hair color, gray and green, but she also has green eyes, just a different shade. Teruya inherited his mother's eyes while getting his father's hair. Since I headcanon Teruya to have freckles, Tamami has freckles as well and as I mentioned before in this post, I adjusted her skin tone to be more obviously tanned instead of dusty from my older drawings of her. And then there's the outfit, which is a dark gray tank top, a long denim(?) skirt, dark reddish-brown boots, a blue handkerchief scarf to match with Kojiro, and a big fluffy yellow sweater with a checkerboard pattern that is tucked into her skirt, and long puffy sleeves that hangs off of her shoulders. The rainbow stripes on her skirt and the rainbow bracelet ties her design to Teruya's as he wears a rainbow as well, and I thought it'd be a neat idea for them to have a similar love for rainbows even though they've never met (cause she died via childbirth). The thought of Teruya still inheriting some of his mom's mannerisms and traits even though they never officially met scratches my brain in a good, angsty way. I wonder what Kojiro thinks whenever he recognizes parts of Tamami in Teruya...And that's it for Tamami's design! Hopefully it'll stay this way.

Tiny characters that can beat the shit out of an enemy that's much taller than them will always be peak character design, you can't change my mind on that.

[codgod]

OKAY. slightly more comprehensive and hopefully more useful tips for writing qmariana because the other post i made was kinda a mess. this one also is but hopefully less so. this is basically me expounding upon everything i already said + adding info from a lot of the tags i got on the original post pointing out stuff i didn’t mention

also going to mention again that a lot of this IS related to slimeriana because that’s the main flavour of qsmp fics i read BUT they should all work as general pointers. slimeriana are just gonna end up as my go-to examples for what i’m talking about. and second disclaimer that i barely speak even basic spanish so there are probs gonna be even more things i may have missed or messed up, i’m forging through with the power of youtube auto translate

all that said, here:

he’s not great at speaking english —

it is okay to write a character not being good at speaking a language! i don’t know why everyone seems to be fine with writing charlie speaking broken spanish but not the other way around. so many times i’ve seen him written as speaking perfect english and then just sometimes swearing or having a few lines of dialogue in spanish, if even that. that is simply just not how he talks

common things i personally have noticed mariana does: repeats words, says words that sound similar to the one he wants but not Quite [think words that rhyme or have a similar sound to them, like nipples and pimples lol], he’ll often get frustrated and switch back to spanish and just rely on the translator, especially for longer or more complex sentences/statements, there’ll sometimes be pauses between words or he talks slowly. he tries his best to speak english around the english speaking server members but again, will also just speak spanish and use the translator if he’s gonna be talking a lot

other small things: he swears quite a bit, and has a few favourites [namely mamahuevo (eng equivalent is cocksucker) is the one that comes to mind. and i don’t feel like i’m writing this out correctly but also chinga tu madre (fuck you/fuck your mother? i think?). in english the first one that comes to mind is motherfucker]. also calls kids mami/papi a lot, not even just juanaflippa

he’s almost always written as either too nice OR too mean —

he’s not a one-dimensional piece of paper just there to either dote on slime or make his life hell. he jokes and teases and he has a bit of a harsh sense of humour sometimes, but he’s very rarely malicious in his actions. if he’s really in the wrong about something he’ll get defensive, but will eventually end up apologising

that said, again, he’s not always nice! he gives as good as he gets when slime picks fights with him, he and bobby had a very playfully antagonistic relationship as far as i could tell. it’s like picking playful fights is part of his love language

he was always very sweet to juanaflippa though :D except a few teasing jokes here and there. he was a good dad, besides the murder JHVSJD

speaking of his sense of humour —

it can be very… blunt? for lack of a better word? he says some bizarre shit with a completely straight face. best example i can think of is him suggesting he and charlie could play a porn game together because they wouldn’t have to talk. obviously that’s cc not character, but it carries over. or, alternatively, the circumcision bit on day 1. basically if u watch charlie more, look at his sense of humour and translate it into spanish — there’s a reason they get along so well :D zero normal people in this relationship. the most you’ll get is them occasionally passing the “straight man” role back and forth, getting bewildered at each other but ultimately going along with whatever the bit is

he’s not a cheater! —

i know. i know ppl like the angst. but he never actually cheated on slime, not beyond being kinda flirty with other men but then pulling back and saying he was married whenever they returned that energy. he’s a bitch, but a loyal one /silly

but seriously, qmariana loves his family so much. he always wanted things to work out between him and slime. the only mc skin of his that actually shows his hands has him wearing his wedding ring, for christs sake. he’s not an absentee father, and he’s not a cheater, he just likes to joke flirt with his friends

he’s very open about his emotions! —

i have never once known this man to hide his feelings or be stoic in any situation. if he’s sad he cries, if he’s angry or frustrated he yells and swears, if he’s happy he laughs. if you are writing mariana as a person to keep his feelings hidden you are Doing It Wrong. the most he might do is hide one emotion behind another, but he’s almost always showing something

he LOVES music —

this man will sing at any given opportunity. he quotes song lyrics out of nowhere constantly. english, spanish, doesn’t matter, he loves music. it is literally always worth it to have him singing a lullaby to juanaflippa in a fic because it is both very in character and very cute

[ophexis]

Hi! I'm alive! Let tell you about the

Elder Scrolls Cookbook!

Winner of the last poll! I know I'm under zero time constraints but sorry for taking a while lmao.

This is kind of going full circle for me, because when I joined tumblr, the very first thing I ever blogged about was my Skyrim playthroughs, not too long before I got into Saints Row and changed my life significantly. So this is kind of nostalgic for me lol. Anyway, onto the book!

The Elder Scrolls cookbook is a CLASSIC. Like I'm pretty sure it's not at all the first "nerdy" cookbook ever made, or even the first cookbook made for a specific franchise or anything, but when this came out it was kind of a big deal, probably because Skyrim was still a big deal lmao. I remember people trading the sweetrolls recipe around.

I kinda wonder if it's one of the first cookbook that tried to stay "in-universe". Because sometimes cookbooks really don't (there are a few Star Wars kids cookbooks that come to mind). But the Elder Scrolls cookbook is in-universe and has little lore snippets in each recipe, which I'm always a fan of.

The book is themed for The Elder Scrolls setting as a whole, but you can tell it came out at the height of Skyrim's popularity lol.

The book starts off with a chapter covering basics, from spice mixes to pie doughs to sauces, which I think is really cool. Not every cookbook has those, and they'll be used throughout the book so it's good to have a look through that chapter. Then the rest of the book is divided between sides, main meals, soups, breads, desserts and drinks. The recipes lean towards hearty recipes, perfect for surviving the harsh wilds of Tamriel.

The Nines know my poor fifth playthrough insomniac mage who I walked manually from Whiterun to the College of Winterhold would have needed it.

The cookbook has a photo for every recipe except one of the meads for some reasons lol. But I'll let that one slide because it's "just" a drink. It's not that hard to put a photo of food on recipes but man it is not standard and I'll complain about it forever. But the Skyrim cookbook has photos, thank the Nines.

I've cooked only one recipe from this book but what a recipe it is. Pictured above on the right, it's the orsimer venison, a sweet, slightly spicy, soy sauce meat recipe that is fuckin delicious and I've made it dozens of time (always with beef bc it's easier to find lol). On the left is the redguard rice, which is a current contender for the recipe I'll make from this for the poll (though I'm also looking at the Companion meatball recipe....which sounds funny said like that lmao). The redguard rice uses ground lamb, and I can't remember ever having lamb before! If I can find it I would definitely like to try.

We also, of course, have the Sweetroll recipe. I haven't made it yet but I recently and FINALLY found a small-sized fluted baking pan so I really want to make them soon.

Overall this is a really solid cookbook, it looks pretty, the photos are huge, there's a little bit of lore and story on every recipe. There are more fish-based recipes than I expected, which isn't as interesting for me but it adds variety. I kinda wish there were a few more main meals in there. I'm also torn on if I'd like the book to be divided by meal types as it is currently, or if it'd be neat to have the chapters be themed around cultures for extra lore flavor, like the DND cookbook. idk!

The recipes are pretty standard and don't tend to go for funky ingredients but I think that's fine. They do tend to go for venison and lamb for meat, which I think makes sense, thinking about Skyrim! (and yes the book is still very heavily focused on Skyrim, thought there are a few recipes from elsewhere) The recipes are hearty, using cheese, meats, lots of veggies and with a significant soup chapter and also lots of desserts. You'll be well fed as you travel Tamriel! Just watch your back for them Dark Brotherhood types.

Bonus themed images bc I feel like it: Some of the few surviving screenshots I had from Oblivion, when our computer couldn't run it well so my dad modded it to run at even lower specs and I'm pretty sure it turned off all the lighting. But I had such a great time.

My khajiit assassin at home uwu

And my main, in casual wear for some reason. She was a heavy armor build lol. And my outlet for making drow, without access to dnd.

ANYWAY hope this was mildly entertaining! I'll try to choose a recipe for this week, but I'm being forced to go into office more often so I can't garantee a time. Currently it's between the redguard rice and the companion meatballs.

Also check out Misohungrie's several few videos of him covering the cookbook and some extra recipes! I love his videos so you should check them out.

[lemonsherbetsss]

Ok so! I have zero plan for how I’m writing this (probably a bad thing) but here is a post explaining (??) Angela Gearlooose and her backstory/lore !

This is Lengthyyyyyyyy I didn’t mean for it to be but yeah

for starters, she exists within the headcanon/au in which Scrooge is Gyro’s adoptive father and where Gyro lived and grew up with Donald, Della and Scrooge. Angela was hatched before Della had and hatched Huey, Dewey and Louie. Della and Donald were ecstatic to be her aunt/uncle but no one was as excited as Scrooge was to become a Grandpa.

The plan was that Gyro would raise Angel in the mansion alongside HDL when they hatched with the help of Scrooge, Donald and Della but this did not happen after the Spear Of Selene. Obviously they all went their separate ways (Gyro obviously still works with McDuck Ind. but his close relationship to his family is no longer intact) and didn’t really have any contact with each other (I say really as for Gyro, Scrooge is just of arms reach but again aren’t as close).

Gyro raises Angel on his own somewhat and I’ve played with multiple ideas which I’ll talk about but I’ll talk about the original ideas first!

The first and original idea was that if Gyro was far to busy, he would drop Angel off at the mansion and she would spend the day there under the watchful eyes of Beakley (i stan Gyro and Beakley friendship they are real, in this I’d imagine Gyro and Bentina already know each other -with him being a McDuck ofc- and she is quite fond of him, their relationship being kind of grandmother-grandson / mother-son if that makes sense) . While at the mansion, she would also make and be good friends with Webby (I think Webby is a bit older than the triplets canonically so they’d be the same age).

Whenever at the Mansion, Angel tries her best to stay out of Scrooge’s way, she doesn’t know her relation to him yet but she feels as if she’s a bit of a burden in the mansion and that she’s always intruding when she is there so she tries to keep her head down and be respectful. As for Scrooge, I feel he wouldn’t want to address Angela, like let her know who he is, build an actual relationship at all (yet) because are you kidding me bro didn’t even do that for HDL the only reason that happened was because of Beakley and their trouble making. Not to say that I don’t think Beakley wouldn’t urge him to get to know Angel (she probably would as like I said she did the same with the triplets) but yeah Angel and Scrooge keep their distance and Angel doesn’t know how or even the fact that they’re connected.

The way she comes across the knowledge that he is her Grandfather is through Webby (because she knows everything McDuck). The way it went in my original lore explanation I made on my Instagram highlights was really lame but briefly (although yes this is basically it) it was:

Webby: how come you get so quiet and reclusive whenever Mr McDuck is around?

Angela: I don’t know, he’s an adult I don’t know, it’s respectful I guess.

Webby: wait what? But he’s your Grandpa

Angela: he’s my what.

(Sucky ik but let’s just roll w it for now 😭😭)

She nervously and quietly asks Gyro about it and Gyro’s shocked because he didn’t really like tell her much about their past and other family as it basically has just been the two together as a family (looking back now it’s kinda dumb I had this because Gyro is a genius and his daughter is friends with the McDuck obsessed kid also Angela literally sometimes stays at the home of said McDuck but whatever). His explanation is just a vague ‘I’m sorry I’ve kept so much about our family from you, it’s hard to explain, something bad happened a long time ago and that’s why their family is like this (mysterious n broken lol) and Scrooge doesn’t mean to be the way he is and it’s just complicated’. I imagined that as a child and because she doesn’t know a lot about the situation and she doesn’t know any better, Angel would have like a tiny voice in her head that’s trying to convince her that she’s to blame for the rapture of her family but yeah 👍👍👍 that was the original idea.

One of the ideas I’ve played with was Launchpad helping Gyro out with raising Angel and become like an uncle figure to her (bc I also believe in Lp gyro friendship 💪💪). I feel Gyro’d just want to to do everything on his own (bc 1) being so hurt from everything and 2) being so stubborn) and, bc Lp is nearby -him working for Scrooge as well- Launchpad wants to be friends and eventually learns about Angela and wants to help. At first it’d be just Lp offering small favours (like offering to drive, hold things -perhaps if Gyro’s got a lot on his hands literally idk 😭😭- offering to bring things down to the lab, offering to buy him anything he needs, offering to watch Angel for a sec, etc.), to which Gyro refuses time and time again until one day he reluctantly accepted, much to Launchpad’s surprise. With Lp watching Angel Gyro would be extremely reluctant and hesitant (giving Launchpad’s clumsy nature) but he lets it happen and nothing goes wrong (maybe a broken cup or something that makes Gyro freak out if Angel’s ok for a bit before the reassurance that she’s fine from Lp) and he let’s Lp look after her more and they become closer and very much like family, the first family Gyro’s had kinda of like??? ‘Around’ ig since the spear of Selene

There’s more ideas but this post is already too long so ig I’ll talk abt it another day

So this is it lol 😭😭 this is probably really bad bc I don’t usually do stuff like this but like I realise I never actually share my oc lore to any places so it’s good have something down ig

Also I said in a post before that Gyro still works an unhealthy amount (coping ig) but finds a way to do it while caring for Angel I’ll link it here when I can lol

Edit: forgot to add but Angel spends most her freetime in the lab w her dad (idk if that’s important but ya)

[glitchinginhyperfixis]

Sending u genderfluid mike hcs (a lot are platonic madwheeler bc I care them):

The first person she comes out to is surprisingly Max. Her reasoning for this is “You already hate me so this will probably hurt less” and Max is just like “I never hated you, you big dummy” and they have a Moment

(I also hc them giving the other gender envy and that’s why they clashed sm at first)

Gender presentation is always weird for him bc yk,, the 80s™️ BUT. Loves finding little ways to make himself feel more like Mike and not like boy mike yk? Like he lets erica paint his nails one day with clear polish and wears less polos etc etc

One of these ways is going to Max’s bc home girl knows how to do hair okay. She learned to braid for El when her hair was getting longer and kept practicing on Lucas before the breakup so she is experienced. Anyways Mikes favorite is when he had two braids on the side that tie into a little ponytail. It makes him feel like he has a crown lol

Has scream cried during clothes shopping w her mom and pretends like nothing happened. When she eventually comes out to Karen they have a long talk that ends in Karen cradling Mike and promising for things to change

Lucas and Dustin were so supportive when they came out!!! Like when initially told they were so chill and like “that’s wassup” but in the leading weeks they were going above and beyond to make mike feel more comfortable. At the end of the week Lucas threw a coming out party and made a little sign, Dustin and Erica made a cake!!

Speaking of Erica her and Mike will literally be in the isle of a fight but still doing sleepover activities. Like one time Lucas came downstairs to see them going back and forth while making friendship bracelets (not necessarily genderfluid mike but they mean sm 2 me)

While doing Mikes hair he and Max will exchange music taste and Max will give him California Knowledge (wink wink gay ppl)

Bc she’s trying to express herself more or whatever, Mike ends up dressing like if Eddie was in love with collared shirts and Max will call her a poser all the fucking time

Joins drama in sophomore year because it makes them feel so much more comfortable, playing a character on stage is more fun than playing one every day yk

1. yes. i love the idea that max would be the first one mike would come out to. it honestly makes a lot of sense. and i would love a sweet moment like that. (and that gender envy hc!! YES)

2. YESSS. i’ve never thought much about it, but i kind of want mike and erica to bond. erica would roast him but in a... nice way? and i’ve seen a lot of hc’s about nail polish, but this one makes the most sense realistically, since i don’t think mike would reach the stage of being able to wear other colors for a while.

3. the braiding hc!!!! ily. mike in braids is just a great concept on its own, but you also added max into it, and i love that.

4. yes. just yes. i imagine karen saying something about mike being her son, and mike just breaking down and telling her that she’s not. at least, not always.

5. they would. i can imagine dustin and lucas asking questions so they could make mike more comfortable, but never prying too much. they just want to know how to mike feel safe in their own skin.

6. you. you have converted me. i’m now a mike and erica are best friends truther. and they have zero content. i’m screwed. (but seriously, i love this. this friendship is so cute).

7. yes.

8. these hc’s are incredible.

9. ok. stop right there. you’re making me sad now.

10. adding onto this, i’d love mike coming out to nancy and being surprised when she’s supportive. she’s a little confused and does mess up sometimes, but she tries her best to be there for mike. and that surprises them because they haven’t felt close to nancy in a really long time. what mike doesn’t know is that her assuming nancy was going to be angry at her was the wake-up call nancy needed to start being a big sister again.

[sauntering-down]

dreams

first, i joined a marching band. now i play zero (0) instruments irl so i'm not sure what i was thinking, and immediately upon arriving at a football field for the first game i was handed a trombone and told 'yeah, we have no trombones and we need one because they play all the solo parts in the school's fight song, here's your music and good luck lol'.

didn't know how to play the trombone in the dream, either, btw. so i fucked around for a bit, made some horrifying noises. and then it was game time and we were sent out onto the field... except for me and the drum major, who both had to stand up on this platform so we could be seen. and then i had to start playing the song, which was inexplicably 'La Marseillaise'. only know about the first ten notes of that song. tried to play them and absolutely fucked it up. like, i sounded like a tortured cat. idek what i played because, as stated, i only know ten notes of that song thanks to Casablanca. but then the band started their part (they sounded much better) until i had to play the ending solo... anyway, we finally finished and the spectators clapped. pretty sure i was not included in that applause. i actually wanted to borrow a microphone and apologize to the audience and tell them i literally picked up this instrument for the first time about twenty minutes ago...

different bit of a dream, then - i was biking around a hallway in a massive Toys 'R' Us store?? didn't make much sense.

and then the last part of the dream... i was at this big shopping center close to my house. got out of my car, walked around a bit, and then went into Books-A-Million. i tried to leave after a little while but found out my car wasn't working and apparently a cop had deliberately sabotaged it?? and then people started shooting up the various stores in the shopping center... the cop who'd damaged my car said i had to come back into the bookstore with her and protect her from the bullets or i'd be arrested. didn't really have a choice, so i went along with it. 'protecting' her entailed holding an umbrella over her and her partner's heads as we were shot at from the second floor. idk. then the dream repeated, but i remembered what happened the last time and also Mary was there now! so i warned her what was about to happen and we booked it over to my car - actually caught the cop in the act of sabotaging my car. she left and we threw ourselves into my car because we knew the bullets were going to start flying any second now, and i fuckin floored it out of there lol. except then i realized all this was just a cartoon i was watching about a group of kids who'd stolen a dragon from the government... one of the kids woke up one night and looked out his window and realized there was a pickup truck driving back and forth in front of his house... idk.

[otakween]

0-Sen Hayato - Volume 3

It feels like it took me a whole year to get through this one lol. It's boring, but not the worst thing I've ever read. Sometimes something spicy will happen (like someone dying or the romance side plot inches forward) and that's enough to keep me going.

Ch. 23

-In this chapter the gang tries to blow off some steam by goofing off and dancing (and getting drunk) but then their superior's superior comes in and chews them out. Hayato and Ishikawa get exiled (?) and sent to the jungle where they run into "a ghost." Meanwhile, the Americans plot their attack.

Ch. 24

-Hayato and Ishikawa find Ishiki in the woods wounded and bring him back to camp despite being exiled. Ishiki warns them about the encroaching enemy and then we cut to some sort of D-Day-esque scenario on the beach. The squad isn't allowed to participate in the battle because their territory is the skies, so they just watch on.

Ch. 25

-The boys continue to scramble to kill themselves for their country and for glory...this is seriously the least relatable thing I've ever read lol

-I don't really get how war works. If the air force can just attack the people on the ground, why didn't they just always do that? Lack of resources maybe? It kinda seems like an OP tactic...

Ch. 26

-This chapter was WILD. Hayato convinces the gang to kill a bunch of monitor lizards and dump their blood in the ocean. Then when the bad guys (Americans probably) attempted to storm the beach a bunch of sharks gathered and ate them all. That's wacky enough, but then they said that 10,000 soldiers were eaten!? Wtf...not possible. (I googled this and apparently there was a WWII incident where an American ship sank and 890 people were left in shark infested waters, probably the closest thing irl to this manga's ridiculousness).

-This manga has an anti-kamikaze stance, but it also shows its heroes as constantly ready and eager to die for Japan so...mixed signals.

Ch. 27

-I kinda liked this one, at least we got to meet Ishiki's sister (now a nurse). Of course everyone instantly has a crush on her because they're women-starved

-Wtf was up with the "muu" grass? It was strangely magical, like a tentacle monster? I guess since the last chapter jumped the shark (hehe) they feel like they can get away with this magical realism BS.

-Ishiki is WAY too committed to his rival bit. Someone needs to smack some common sense into him before he gets himself killed for real.

Ch. 28

-Ishiki continues to act recklessly, but I guess he's just getting away with it for now? Not sure if he just figured out how to compensate for his bad eye or if he got lucky and something bad will happen in the future...

-I think Hayato's dad just died? Hard for me to tell cuz all middle aged men look identical to me. Hayato did say "I sense a disturbance in the force" (paraphrasing). So I'm probably right. That seems like a pretty major character death for this series so I was a little taken aback!

Ch. 29

-Okay phew, I got it right. In this chapter Hayato finds out about his father's death and inherits his plane and katana. I thought the emotion of it all was handled pretty well without going into any melodrama. Since soldiers sign up knowing they might die (especially Japanese soldiers in WII) they'll probably react more stoically to that kind of news.

-We find out that it was the King Satan airplane that shot down Hayato's dad, because of course it was. Gotta give more fuel to the silly rivals plot. Ishiki acts like a douchebag again and is like "sorry about your dad, but I'm gonna make this about ME" lol. At least I can laugh at how cartoonishly shitty he is.

Ch. 30

-Hayato tries to figure out how to operate his Dad's plane which is "different from other Zero airplanes" (or whatever you call those in English). I didn't really get what he was saying about it, but I figured I probably wouldn't get it in English either so it's fine lol

-We get to see the nurse girls again which is always nice. The chubby one with braids is adorable. Of course they made each girl have a crush on their male counterpart (chubby girl likes chubby guy, skinny girl with a hooked nose likes the dude with a hooked nose, etc.) Whatever, there's so little body diversity in anime girls nowadays that seeing this lil bit of variety is refreshing.

Ch. 31

-The Bakufuutai's rival squad (the Shiuntai) get 35 new pilots but they are very inexperienced (only 150 hours of flight training). The Bakufuutai tries to be good senpai and stop them from flying recklessly, but the Shiuntai's leader is being a jerk as usual and tells them they can't tell his squad what to do. I should probably learn that guy's name lol.

-The hairy dude with big lips gets his own big lipped girl who's in love with him. Unfortunately they used this as an opportunity to make her "ugliness" a joke. Hey! If dudes are allowed to look funky girls should be allowed too >:/

Ch. 32

-This chapter was far too dialogue heavy and I barely followed what was happening. All I got was that Hayato and Ishiki were begging their leaders to not send the newbies off on a mission and then Hayato and friends end up being sent off to Manila for some reason. The nurse love interest creepily talks about being prepared to die a bunch...

[rin-and-jade]

Hey, I've got a question? I think I'm a singlet, but there's some brain stuff going on that I wanted to get input from a system about, as it seems to be a bit more up your alley.

So I can feel like a- a presence in my head, basically. I've named them Shadow right now as just saying "the presence" felt weird. I also keep subconsciously using he/him pronouns with them for some reason so just a heads up that may be a thing in this ask lol.

They're just kinda chilling for the most part. Like if my mind was a room and the body was a video game character, I'd be sitting at the computer and in control of the mouse and the keyboard, while Shadow is doing their thing on the bed if that makes sense. So I tried to like, mentally poke them I guess? Cause there's something in my head and I wanted to know what it was. And instantly was bombarded with a dehabilitating headache, like when you try to remember something you know happened but don't have any details about.

Needless to say, I have not tried to poke them again.

I asked some of my friends a. if this was normal, and b. if they knew what was up, and the two responses I got were something about repressed trauma (which is fair, I don't remember any trauma but I also am almost always mildly dissociating so yknow) and something spiritual, which was well intentioned but I don't believe in that stuff so I'm not real inclined towards that option. And I thought, "Who is likely to have ideas about Things That Arent You in your head?" and plurality seemed like an obvious place to look. I don't think I'm plural, at least not right now, since Shadow and I have had ZERO communication (not sure if they even are sentient or if it's smth else) and I only lose time and stuff the normal amount, but maybe you guys have ideas about what this could be? I don't have access to a psychiatrist rn (and frankly I am Not ready to tell anyone that isn't a very close friend about Shadow without the anonymity of Tumblr, my parents would definitely question if I asked to see a psychiatrist out of the blue and I am not ready to explain this to them) so this is kind of the best I can do, sorry.

Also one of my friends and I have a notebook we write back and forth in and when I wrote about Shadow it felt like they were pressing closer to me, like they'd moved off the bed and were watching intently over my shoulder.

-D (signing off in case I come back with an update)

Thanks for coming to me and providing me a detailed explanation to describe your situation, i have a few to say.

It can't be trusted when you think something is in a "normal" level because you wouldn't know if it is actually or it is not. Unless you have searched and asked questions to other people on whats the acceptable range of losing time normally, i will believe you on this.

Im also curious if shadow can respond to you, it doesn't need verbal communication between the two of you as it works well by "feeling" it. Have you ever get those moments where saying something it might like made them steer close to you too? Do you think your thoughts or actions are affected to a degree when you feel them around? Do you feel like you are it despite not knowing anything about what this shadow's personality is like? How long have you noticed shadow existing?

Also, for my people, they don't get headaches when it comes to probing or trying to know/think about the another part. I can describe it as staring/thinking at something that doesn't feel familiar which causes little to nothing but confusion or dissociation. No pain involved like yours (though this experience might be different for everyone)

If you have confirmed that you lose time in an acceptable range, get pain just by trying to think/interact from it, and don't feel affected in any ways by shadow,, i will say it could be something else. If you think shadow does something more than chilling inside and leering to you closely way too often (and even have its own gender preference), it could be plurality. I recommend you to search more things that correlate to headaches and not remembering trauma and feeling a presence to get a better understanding, i wish you luck and i will gladly wait for your update, D.

- j

[jumping-joey1104]

Heya, can I get a Creepypasta matchup?

My name's Altair/Al, I'm 19, Bisexual and go by they/them but he/him or she/her works too! I'm 5'7, with black, really choppy (as in kitchen scissors at 3am type choppy) short hair and dark brown (almost black) eyes. My fashion sense is all over the place tbh, but i usually wear the same 3 oversized black band tees all the time along with baggy jeans (that are somehow still too long even when i wear them with 4 inch platforms) and a bunch of random accessories (i fidget with them alot when i'm anxious). 100% an introvert, but I can warm up to people pretty quickly though. Not sure if I think alot before i act lol, i kinda just do whatever comes to mind (and may or may not regret it later), I kinda just laugh at any bad situations that comes my way (and panic about them internally). I draw in my free time, also tried to play the guitar at some point, and spent way too many hours googling random facts on the internet (usually about animals and human biology). My favorite genres of music are emo, 80s rock and some metal, but im always down for any other genres aswell. I also have a very... questionable, sleep schedule, I either sleep at 8pm and wake up at 4am, or sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm. I also have 2 cats (Lizard and Tangerine) and a dog (Shortie). Not really the most physically affectionate person but my friends told me i give nice hugs lol.

-Thank u for your time <3

Alright alright! This one was a bit difficult to do but I have come to a decision! No I did not spend all night looking through old wikis and forgetting about my ask box

ZERO!

FRIENDSHIP

Zero is not that well known in the mansion, she's much more abrasive and rude than the rest of the female creeps

But one night she walks in on you cutting your hair with scissors over a sink and something just clicked

Definitely seems like the opposite of you sometimes, but you'd be the first friend she had in a long time

So be prepared for her to be the overprotective extrovert of your friendship

She's probably steal your accessories all the time, but with her being color blind (Monochromacy) she can't tell if they match her outfit

Be prepared to see her in her normal black and white stripes with jarring colored accessories

God help anyone that is slightly mean to you because she'll destroy them mentally

She'd probably ask you to help her with pranks at some point, but know that her pranks often go too far

She's not that physical either, given her upbringing in a bad home and the bullying

However she loves your laid back personality and how you react to things, thinks it's funny in an endearing way

She doesn't sleep... only passing out when she gets way too tired, so she'll stay awake with you the moment you say you cant sleep

She's never had pets so she's a bit nervous that your cats wont like her and tries to stay away from them

DATING

During dating Zero is much kinder, she's still got a bit of Alice in her even after taking over so she has the fear that it's all some joke to be played on her

Constant gifts, you'll find new boots and accessories all the time from her just giving them to you

Although she can't tell the difference between light pink and a light grey so heads up

If she sees you with one of the gifts she gets ecstatic, a ton of compliments and attention

The thought that you actually like her enough to wear the things she gets for you makes her knees weak

She's only had one person really care for her like you do so she's even more protective now

If she sees someone talking to you in a slightly flirty tone or a mean tone there will be a glare down from her

This is when she becomes more affectionate to you please give her a hug she needs it but is still a bit wary with it

Cuddles with her are top tier, she will not let go and makes sure you're comfortable with pillows and blankets

Zero will listen to every weird fact you tell her, yeah she'd make fun of it every once in a while but never interrupts you when talking about weird things you found on the internet

She'll start warming up to your pets, passing out whenever they come snuggle up to her

This is how she finds out she's a dog person, your poor dog will also be just as spoiled as you

[elveny]

I posted 3,272 times in 2022

169 posts created (5%)

3,103 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sharkapologists

@cecilyacat

@okami-zero

@elveny

@barbex

I tagged 2,961 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#ffxiv - 681 posts

#art - 653 posts

#lol - 157 posts

#fic rec - 113 posts

#dragon age - 84 posts

#tumblr - 81 posts

#estinien varlineau - 78 posts

#mass effect - 66 posts

#tiktok - 64 posts

#writing - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#also the reason why ppl like david tennant and patrick stewart or ian mckellen have the charisma and presence they do

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ethan Hawke on creativity:

"Most people don't think about poetry, right? They have a life to live, and they're not really that concerned - until their father dies, they go to a funeral, you lose a child. Somebody breaks your heart, they don't love you anymore. And all of a sudden, you're desperate for making sense out of this life, and 'Has anybody ever felt this bad before?'

Or the inverse! Something great. You meet somebody and your heart explodes. You love them so much you can't even see straight. You know, you're dizzy! 'Did anybody feel like this before? What is happening to me?'

And that's when art is not a luxury, it's actually sustenance."

47 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#4

Excuse me, I am still reeling from how perfectly @schoute captured my Adriene and Estinien, I love it so so so so much and cannot asddksaaskussdwedf!!!!😭😭😭😍😍😍

59 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#3

Emet-Selch is canonically a character that used to be very close to the WoL (or rather their former incarnation). Someone that CANONICALLY complained but always came to help. Someone who cared so much he, over 12 millenia, tried to bring back millions of people.

Was he a villain in the end? Sure! But he TELLS you why. He tells you that he feels, loves, grieves. Even after he managed to convince himself that nobody around him is even "alive" and can thus be killed without remorse, DESPITE THAT, he wants to hope that there's another way.

That YOU, the WoL, as the reincarnation of someone he cared deeply for, can make the difference. He could've killed you so, so often. He doesn't. Because he *cares*, he wants you to understand, so he explains and works with you and shows you what happened and the why.

This is all told and shown in the game, btw, that's not fanon.

Emet-Selch is an excellent continuation of Hades - saying one thing and doing another. He cares for Azem and WoL, deeply. Does it excuse his actions? No. But it explains them. He doesn't kill because he wants to and because he relishes power. He kills to restore his WORLD.

If you were told you had to trample down thirteen ant hills to save the world, your family, your loved ones, everyone you know, to make those insignificant ants the people they used to be - you would, too.

82 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#2

If the latest episode of Obi-Wan Kenobi shows anything then it’s the pure horror, terror and soul-ripping despair Darth Vader brings to the galaxy.

And I don’t mean the scene where he drags Obi-Wan into the fire, bc that’s, like… yeah sure, he’s petty and vengeful and so full of hatred and anger, but that’s personal. That’s him and Obi-Wan, of course he’s vengeful and cruel there.

But that scene before.

Where he walks through the village, killing people when he passes them for no reason other than… killing. Trying to get a reaction of the man he assumes is there. The father he rips through the window and chokes in the air, the child rushing to try and help his dad whose neck he snaps. The woman he drags face-down through the sand while she flails. Holy fuck. Imagine you’re living in the galaxy and one day, the Empire comes and takes over. And the Force-sensitive people they have are broken and cruel and they maim and threaten and are horrible enough. And then comes Darth Vader. And you just know that NOTHING is safe. Nothing will ever be safe again. You can be a loyalist and still be dead the next second just because… no because. For no reason. Nothing is safe.

85 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I can't get over how GOOD Andor is. They are not making "episodes", they are making a STORY and dividing this into episodes. And it's so, so good. The characterization is amazing, the Empire is really and truly BAD and fascist and horrible, and the rebellion is ... not heroic clean awesomeness. It's dirty and doing what needs to be done and it's not easy. Or always morally good. It's "oppression breeds rebellion" and using that. Holy shit.

And yes, I know the whole thing of "Disney is actually bad etc blabla" and YES, there is a problem, but we're operating within a system of capitalism and rising fascism, and I truly believe that the message of Andor is important.

106 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[byunbaekhyunie]

Okeii🍒

When you finish the season, I wanna know what you thought of all the boxes imagery/metaphors😊

[ed.] so uhmm this is quite long and convoluted, sorry abt that also ?? major spoilers just in case any1 has doubts

so I finished watching episode 10 and then I read your question. and honestly, I didn’t get it. for a second I thought you were talking abt some cinematography that went over my head and then it hit me and I was like ooohhh the cardboard boxes. and as a lover of themes and motifs, I was a bit disappointed because I hadn’t realized that that was the motif of this season. but then I sat on it some more and I thought abt it, and the more I did it started to make more and more sense to me

of course this is my interpretation, I mean they really picked the most ubiquitous object to use as a metaphor this season, so like yea. you could make almost anything fit the idea of those boxes but to me, well the motifs in each season are sort of little allegories that pertain to Carmy and the development of his character, and the funny thing abt the boxes for me like I said was that I didn’t put the pieces together at first I mean yea when Syd and then Carm are in the bins trying to crush them I was like haha non negotiable number whatever tf but it only clicked after, when I read your ask and so like I tried thinking abt how many times they show them [the boxes] throughout the season and, compared to the pasta in season 1 but especially the fridge-guy bit in season 2, it’s definitely not as present right

so at first I thought well maybe they wanted to be more subtle after season 2 where it’s borderline on the nose how much they call back to the fridge guy bit almost every episode, so yea maybe they don’t wanna spoon feed the audience anymore but there’s also this break in continuity in season 3 like so far, except for the Christmas episode in season 2, storytelling has been pretty linear but in season 3 well your start off with the flashback episode but then the story breaks off into … not subplots but like everyone else’s personal journey ? like Marcus, then Tina, then Syd and Nat and Richie and it feels a lot more disjointed but actually to me, it illustrates how every other character is evolving and growing on their own and Carmen is . kind of at a standstill this season

right after finishing the show my first thought was damn this season kinda left me dissatisfied and as it macerated in my brain I realized it’s because there’s no resolution for Carmen this season, it’s really not abt him in a way but like on purpose. like it’s the way that he can’t execute anything that he wants to do, which the Faks do a wonderful job at explaining when they go see Claire, and it’s endemic of his behavior throughout the whole show, when he tells Sydney that he doesn’t want to be hard to keep up with but really doesn’t do anything to fix it, when he tries to call Claire in the walk-in but doesn’t, how anticlimactic his confrontation with chef David is, like there is no resolution for his character this season. at all. none. zero. he almost takes a more secondary role and it’s the same with the boxes (to come back to your actual question lol) they’re not as much as a running thread as the motifs in previous seasons were and they never get resolved like you don’t see a shot of all the boxes neatly broken down in the dumpster at the end of season 3 but it’s foreshadowing all the same

also also one of the moments that made the strongest impression on me this season is when Carm is at the al anon meeting and this guy offscreen is talking abt how he can not just. forgive his mother for being an addict even tho she got clean and apologized and. you think abt Carmen’s relationship with his brother and then with his mom and again it’s that idea that he’s stuck. he’s stuck unable to forgive. he’s stuck in the mud because of all these issues he has, he can’t let go and move on, he hides behind his food, he clings onto the restaurant instead of addressing things head-on and mending the relationships in his life, he’s like fundamentally broken inside and his non negotiables, and particularly the cardboard boxes that were picked as the visual representation of that, amount to that, the fact that he has guidelines that he can’t follow, he knows what to do but he can’t do it

if we wanna go really deep into interpretation, it’s like every box that is being broken down symbolizes how he has to dismantle his own ego in a way, and also how the facade is … kinda crumbling down, like this idea that he’s a genius chef that’s so good at what he does and knows exactly what he’s doing, and that’s why by the end of the show he’s not where he should be or where you want him to be. he’s back where we left him at the end of season 2. he’s all alone in the streets while all his friends are together partying, like he was alone in the fridge and the world kept moving right along outside. of course those two moments have different implications in their context but I think it’s interesting, when you put them side by side

not sure if I got my point across honestly everything is still very fresh in my brain so it’s a bit hard to have a clear overall view but I’m already thinking I’m gonna rewatch because there’s also the recurring theme of dreams with like Donna’s conception dream and whatever Cicero says abt having a bulldog tattooed on his cock was it ??? I mean dreams (and nightmares) are very symbolic in this show so I’m already wondering if there’s not some more stuff that I missed

anyway thank u so much for the ask, answering this was really fun !!

[catboyebooks]

"chapter 0" is just the one scene so i'll summarize it in just the one post.

it's pretty obvious we're on a boat from the start of the chapter — i mean, the chapter title is "heading to the school trip," there are timber creaking noises, and kamukura's narration opens by describing how the room he's in is rocking violently back and forth. (we aren't told it's kamukura ofc, we don't get a name or face for our narrator, obviously i know who this is though.) kamukura reflects on how the unpredictability of the situation he's in actually feels exciting, although he can predict what's going to happen after they get to their destination and it's going to be boring.

he seems not to register that komaeda is in the room with him until komaeda asks the question about liking boats, and that's when it also becomes clear that kamukura didn't realize they were on a boat until komaeda brought it up. i take it he has been totally zoning out brooding the entire time and has paid zero attention to his surroundings? anyway, komaeda asks if they can chat to pass the time, he's bored of the silence. oh boy! now they can both talk about how bored they are

kamukura's narration comes across rather disdainful as he sizes komaeda up here; he thinks that beneath the "overfamiliar attitude" (he just asked if they could chat..) and the friendly mannerisms, there's something wrong with this guy. the way he describes it is essentially that komaeda has the scent of death on him. he does compare it to a smell and i'm not sure whether to interpret that metaphorically or literally; it kinda reads metaphorical but also sick people do tend to smell off and komaeda has a corpse's hand attached to his left arm.

(sidenote: the fanslation i read made a mistake translating here and made this passage read as though kamukura can sense that komaeda is a liar, not that he's dying. i don't totally blame them for this, they were working off a korean translation that might have made the same error, but it was a recurring pattern in this particular fanslation and contributed to the early Fandom Discourse surrounding komaeda. some people would cite this scene as proof he's a pathological liar, when actually it's confirmation that he was being honest when he told hinata he's terminally ill)

anyway, komaeda doesn't wait for a response, introduces himself, and starts talking about how he's lucky they get to share a room. kamukura is like, oh, you're lucky? that's your talent? boring. komaeda agrees, but points out that it's rather blunt of kamukura to say so, and kamukura reiterates that luck is a boring talent and says he has that one too. at this point komaeda gets quite excited; he asks who kamukura is, saying that he must be from hope's peak too but it's weird that they've never met. why is kamukura here? kamukura doesn't reply at first but then declares this to be boring. komaeda starts apologizing for his conversational skills before kamukura says it's not about him, this entire world is full of boring untalented people, who outnumber, oppress, and fail to acknowledge their talented superiors, seeking instead to drag them down to their level. it's because of "these bastards" that the world has stopped evolving. again, boring.

komaeda responds better than most people would to this speech and says, well, it makes sense that the world would be shaped by the untalented majority, and that's why they're in their current predicament. he then tries to pry a little more and asks if that has anything to do with why kamukura is here. kamukura ignores the question and continues explaining how boring people contribute nothing whatsoever to the world and according to what his teachers taught him in school, "a certain degree of selection must be performed." komaeda's like, oh, they had high expectations for you? not me lol. anyway, what are your plans now that you're in this situation (he doesn't clarify exactly what he's referring to), is there anything you can do? kamukura tells komaeda to listen carefully: using people is also a talent, and he's going to use "that person" just like they used him in the past. komaeda's like, you mean shsl despair? and alludes to how junko is already dead. kamukura tells komaeda that the "contribution" that person left him is in his pocket. komaeda says he doesn't know what hinata's talking about, but it seems like he has a hunch, because he asks if this means he'll get to see her again. the person he hates with every fiber of his being. will he be able to kill her this time? and when he says all this, he stands and we can see that where his left hand ought to be, instead there's junko's.

kamukura's basically like, oh, you hate her? explain what's up with the hand, then. komaeda laughs extensively about this and says it's amazing, of course he's unable to move the hand as it isn't his but even now it still hasn't rotted! maybe it's becoming one with him, and he's successfully fused himself with his sworn enemy, shsl despair. kamukura goes, i see, you salvaged the body. boring of you. komaeda says he doesn't want kamukura to misunderstand, he thinks of junko solely as his enemy, and that's why he took her power, and... halfway through, he seems confused and questions aloud if he does hate her. then he looks out the window and notices they've almost arrived. jabberwock island is coming into view. (there's no recognizable landmarks visible in the view we get from the window.)

komaeda seems excited about their impending arrival and wonders aloud what will happen. kamukura replies that he can already predict what will happen, because he's so talented, but it's not of any concern to him because he won't be able to participate. komaeda expresses disappointment that they'll be parting ways as he thinks they get along well, and he asks if they can see each other again. kamukura says there would be no reason for them to meet again because komaeda is boring. everything about him — his talent, his thoughts, his entire existence — is boring. komaeda is quiet for a second before saying "you really don't play along, do you?" aaand scene

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol