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thepowerisyouth · 7 months

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MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:

This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two

US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.

Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.

Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.

Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.

Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.

Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.

Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"

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This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack

Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.

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To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.

When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback

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There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.

I fucking hate mean labels

"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit

When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it

My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me

Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later

I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time

I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity

If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho

I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.

For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it

In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes

Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.

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This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":

Family context:

I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.

Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--

My whole family is white Texans.

Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.

I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.

As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue

My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.

-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--

My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."

My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.

(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)

Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.

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Back to other family--

I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"

On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did

My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"

Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"

Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.

My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.

My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother

--- Earliest memories

I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.

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Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on

1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child

1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.

It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.

Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.

The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.

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My "earliest memories"

These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.

I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things

1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)

1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into

2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'

3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace

4. Will add more later.

#mental health #trauma #early memories #life story #family #generational trauma #wealth disparity #memory #self healing #child psychology #diary #math #classism #privilege #cycle of abuse #behavioral economics #psychology #philosophy

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msaholidayspirits · 3 years

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MSA Holiday Spirits

A Gift Exchange for the Mystery Skulls Animated fandom!

Welcome to the 5th Annual Holiday Spirits! Gift givers will be randomly assigned to others, and gifts will be exchanged on Christmas day. Gifts can be big or small! The most important thing is to have fun!

How to join:

Submit a completed participant form as a Submission or Ask! The participant form is below the read-more on the post!

(if you choose to enter by sending an ask, Please send an IM to verify yours was received! if formatted incorrectly, asks do not show up, and there’s been past issues with that!)

Submissions will close after November 14th.

Assignments will be given throughout the 15th and 16th of November. If you haven’t received yours by the 20th, please send us a note! If this changes at all I will make a post!

Rules and Participant template below the cut!

Rules:

Gifts are due the 25th. Do not post them before then. If you wont be home that day, you can schedule it ahead of time so that it will post on that day!

On the 25th post your gift and don’t forget to @tag your giftee! Also put it in the event tag, #MSAholidayspirits2021 so that I can see and reblog the wonderful gifts you all make!

This is a family friendly event, so no gore or NSFW is permitted. Do not use the event tag for art depicting that.

Please don’t reveal yourself to your giftee until the 25th. We want this to be a surprise!

If you have to back out of the event, let us know ASAP so we can find a back-up! Also if your gift will be late, please let us know, as well as your giftee on the 25th!

If after the 25th you have not received your gift or heard from your gifter, send me a message. I will get in contact with them and if they can’t complete it, we will find a backup or make you something ourselves. No one is getting left out.

While I will be as understanding as possible, if you drop out and do not message this blog or your giftee and I cannot get in contact after the deadline even after several tries, your name will be marked down, and I will be wary of you joining holiday spirits again. Life happens, but if you cannot participate, it is only fair to let others know. Dropping out wordlessly not affects you, but the person you were meant to make a gift for!

Participant form:

This form is what you will copy/paste into the submission box and fill out!

Url: The tumblr blog you want to use for the exchange. This is the one that the gift will be tagged with. Please pick ONE blog. DO NOT sign up multiple times with different blogs.

Other blogs(optional): Other blogs you think might help your gift giver get to know you. (MSA side-blogs or rps blogs for example)

Wishlist: Things that you would like to see in your gift like fave Ships/OTPs, AUs or maybe fan content for something you’ve already made. Fics or fanart for example. If you have a link to content you’ve created please put that here. Simple prompts like “fluff” work too.

Dislikes: Things you absolutely do not want to see on your gift. Notps, squicks and triggers or even something as simple a color you really hate.

Gift Skills: What are your skills/talents that you will most likely use to make your gift? It can be any media! Writing, drawing, music, vocals, anything you want!

Other(optional): Anything else you think we should know

Backup: If some other participants back out, would you be willing to help make backup gifts so that no one gets left out?

Gifting Nopes: If you would be unable to create a gift for someone else dealing with a certain element, then here is where you would state that. This will likely be the same as your dislikes, but if there’s some aspects people might not think of, they can go here. It could be something as small as a discomfort writing a specific character, or not wanting to draw an animal character, even if you don’t dislike them.

If you have any questions, or if we’ve forgotten something, please send a message! We want this to go as smooth and enjoyably as possible.

Thanks for reading and have fun!

#mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #MSAHolidaySpirits2021 #secret santa #long post #i'm hoping next year to have the form in an easier to send in format (maybe a questionnaire or google form)#but this year was A Lot and I didn't manage alas

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shattered-catalyst · 4 years

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OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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stim-sies · 3 years

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There's a character in a fandom that I write fanfic for (non-newsies..oops) and a lot of people hc him as being autistic. It makes sense, given a lot of his actions in the show and I agree! I sometimes write him with those same traits, but I'M not autistic and so I never tag him as such because it's not explicitly stated and I also don't have the experience to know "is this right?"

Is that... Okay? Or is there a different way you would reccomend handling things?

Since I dont know what fandom you're talking about, I can only go for my general opinion.

I don't think there's anything wrong with neurotypical people writing neurodivergent characters, as long as you do your research!

Talk to actual autistic people, be respectful, avoid stereotypes, TALK TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE. I'm cis, so while I don't really understand the experience of a trans person in regards to their gender, that doesn't mean I can't write a trans person going about their life. Trans people, autistic people, any groups you aren't a part of, it's okay to write about them, because... we're people, and so are you. We have a lot more in common than people like to think. I check with my irl best friend and make sure I'm not using any stereotypes, but other than that, I just write Racetrack as Racetrack. Him being trans is as foreign to me as him being a boy, and should I just stop writing boys?

One time, I casually included Racetrack taking off his binder in a fic, and that made readers really happy! Racetrack's gender is pretty much irrelevant to that story, so I only brought it up in passing, but that lets people feel seen! And more importantly, they get to see their identity as being a part of them as a human being, not their sole defining trait.

(Also it brings me great joy knowing that any transphobe who might have been reading along without me knowing has to live with the knowledge that they read over 40 chapters getting invested in a story of a boy going about his life and being loved before I randomly clarified, "oh yeah and he's trans")

That same story, I wrote David as autistic. This particular fic usually focuses more on Spot than David, and that's kind of why I did it. David isn't "Spot's autistic brother who he has to deal with," he's "Spot's brother who wont let him set things on fire and he has to deal with that."

Being autistic isn't David's entire personality any more than it is mine. Yes, I am autistic and that does affect how I interact with the world, but I'm also a science major, I paint and draw and I play with my dog. Those things are a part of me too.

In general, I think as long as you aren't writing about The Experience Of An Autistic Character In Regards To Them Being Autistic, you're probably good. Just be respectful, do your research, and basically, a good rule of thumb is that if your story can be compared to Sia's Music, you need to stop.

Tl;dr : autistic people are people, and just like with any group you aren't a part of, you should do your research, but it's totally cool to write about us! I love seeing autistic representation in stories 💛

#there are fandoms besides newsies???/j #autistic blogger #autistic adult #actually autistic #asks #long post #transphobia mention #not newsies

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rainecloud020604 · 4 years

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below the cut is a bit of a long venty self reflection.. tw: sensitive topics, the specifics are in the tags

so with quartinteen going on i’ve had a lot of time to look at myself and my actions, i have a bad habit of over analyzing things and ripping them apart. including myself.

i’ve noticed that i keep a lot of things to myself to the point where its unhealthy, i dont tell people when im upset, i dont tell people that im hurt, i dont even tell my parents when i feel sick anymore unless i feel like im dying and need medicine and maybe a trip to the doctor. Im still scared to do that...

i get made fun of and mocked, told im overreacting when im sick or hurt by my parents. its really affected me, being told to walk it off cause im being a baby or im being a drama queen for attention i dont really want. its at the point where i have fallen into a habit of lying about my health, some days i feel like utter shit and i know it will show, i will tell some people, not my parents, my friends i talk to that day. it’s gotten to the point where i was ready to kill myself because my parents wouldnt listen and take me to a doctor after i could eat or drink anything for two weeks without immediately rushing to the bathroom, that was new years eve... i almost did, it took a lot to not do that, and i scared myself, i was scared to call a hotline, i was scared to move, go downstairs, speak, after i spent 30 minutes breaking down and begging my parents to take me to a doctor i was done with life and done with trying. This really affected me and shook me up for months, it was the first time in years i had ever thought about doing that, i felt horrible and miserable cause i scared a lot of people that night.

my mental health is even worse than my physical health all the time, i normally wont talk about it when its bad unless someone asks, i’ve been brushed off so many times by my family i no longer have that confidence i used to. my dad for the longest of time told me my depression didnt exist until my doctor did, he told me i was lying for attention, he told me i didnt have anxiety, i didnt have anything wrong and i needed to shut up and pay attention, push through it and shut up. mental health issues were tabo around my parents for ages, when we got kicked out of our house and moved in with some friends my mental issues really showed through, this was around the time i joined tumblr, my parents would fight constantly and i fled here for safety, it was clear i had something wrong, all of my sibling do as well, my brother has anger issues and doesnt know how to cope with that, he tends to hit things and hit me when angry cause i pissed him off or was in his way, he’s 11 and three times my size. im 16. my sister has anxiety and depression as well, she always drags herself down and fakes a smile to everything, she cant handle being yelled at anymore. we all have faced abuse from my parents, and then moving into a super toxic and worse place for a year made everything worse, my parents stressed and fighting to the point where we would hide and cry cause it was so much. partially through that year i snapped at my best friends dad for being homophobic, racist and sexist, i said a few things and got suspended from my school while there was a sexual predator on the campus after my friends, he was never arrested and he tried to contact me recently because he was bored. i was broken for awhile but going to the magnet school i met some people who helped me. i made a new friend. that place that was toxic we left after they tried framing us for a bed bug issue and tried making us clean the entire house, and the guy who was my dads formal best friend called my mom a few nasty things and called us all lazy and ungrateful. i had a bike stolen during the move and they refused to give it back. we stayed in a hotel for a bit, i became everyones therapist for a few days, my brothers, sisters, moms and even my dads, i couldnt vent to anyone. we moved in with my grandma, my step grandpa turned out to be an abusive asshole and attacked my aunt and almost attacked my mom and grandma one night when we were going to bed, i had both my brother and sister in my room hiding and crying, i was comforting them and telling them the yelling would be over soon.

my grandma had her ac detroyed, license plate stolen, other stuff stolen from her as well, i was scared to walk to school for a month and had to look at the door at all times. one day he randomly busted through the door and i broke down scared as hell because i was in line of sight and the first person he saw, and was in the same room as him. it took me awhile to recover from that. later on i started failing my classes, i couldnt keep up because my old school wasnt where they were, i was ahead but behind because my motivation slacked and i didnt want to be there, i started getting really sick, i went to try to see my guidance counselor one day because i was ready to break down at everything and i needed to talk to someone and possibly go home, i saw a different one, they recommended a mental health counselor and i start counseling sessions, when i checked out the nurse shamed me for not going to her and checking out. i walked home that day and cried. i started counseling sessions after that, i was still scared to speak about all of these issues, some weeks i didnt see her, others i did, the first day my ela teacher flipper her shit cause i was late that day to her class after i was at a counseling session for part of her class cause i needed to say things and speak. i lost the confidence to talk to me ela teacher after that. she would have issues with the fact that i couldnt speak loudly at times, part of the year she hated the fact that i drew in her class to focus, it took me twice explaining it before she would let me. later on that year she accused me of doing other classwork and make me hold up what i was drawing rather than walking over, i cried the rest of her class and had a panic attack in biology venting to a friend. my parents told me i was being dramatic after breaking down and explaining how my day went. i started to stop speaking up about my issues entirely to them.

i’ve had issues when i am sick at school, i’ve gotten grounded for going home sick, after i was told i could call home, it was because the nurse said i looked tired, she also had told my dad that he knew me better than she did so she was unsure, he told me in the car i put the family to shame and made him look bad, took away my devices, left for work while i took a nap, i woke up still sick and felt even worse mentally, i forced myself to walk and finish up the rest of the school day. it took my mom yelling at my dad to get my devices back, he guilt tripped me after giving them back and i felt horrible for the weekend.

my dad started saying i was faking being sick to skip school, keep in mind i have never skipped a day in my life and have always enjoyed going to school, he was just pissed off. my mental health was affecting my physical health, i wasnt able to see my mental health counselor for a month, when i needed to most.

i started developing and eating disorder again, i started to only eat one meal a day, starve myself for existing, i’ve been fighting it for awhile, it decided to get worse, i am still fighting it. i am at a point where i can handle two meals a day again which is progress.

when quartinteen started, that ment i was stuck at home, unable to focus on my classes anymore, and my counseling sessions were done in zoom, i wasnt ever in a safe place to openly speak. i tried pushing for therapy, my parents considered and agreed, they tried to figure something out and never got back to it. everything has gotten worse, not only in my head but the world around me...

keep in mind all this, happened in two years. most of the belittling and breaking me down however has gone on for most of my life.

i dont want sympathy, i want to get this off my damn chest, i dont want attention, i was this at hand so when i need to point at something that happened to me i have to reference to while im breaking down. im sorry about all this mess and wasting time typing this out and that right now isnt the time to hear me whine.

#rainecloud020604 vents #vent post #vent #tw: abuse #tw: eating problems #tw: ed mention #tw: suicide mention #tw: guilt tripping #tw: neglect #tw: panic attack #tw: self harm mention #ask to tag

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ihavenoconsistentname · 5 years

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Ignore me while I spill out some of my triggers randomly I don't know I've never actually like,, said all of them?? I'm not doing it now for any particular reason I'm just rambling a lot right now so this is adding to that I suppose, plus I guess I like getting things off my chest in random text posts you dont have to read all this if you dont want and it could have triggering elements so I'll try to tag whatever triggers I feel like I might wanna tag just in case and if theres any I missed tell me

So yeah random triggers or things I just generally dislike because of past experience or some sort of effect they have on me (by the way I'm not 100% certain of why some of these bother me they just do I dont wanna say its trauma because I dont think anything here would be considered trauma-worthy?? In my case, that is);

Anything about needles going into skin or veins,, aaaaa,,, anything with talking abt that makes me feel uncomfy and last time someone made me think I would have a needle stuck in my vein for a blood test I had a panic attack (my boyfriend kinda told me I was a pussy for getting so worked up about it :( dont do that to people pleaaase,, different people are uncomfortable abt different things even if you dont see it)

Loud noises aggravate me if its multiple people being loud and obnoxious when they shouldn't be or just don't need to but it's only bad if I'm in a space that isn't too vast and that I can't just leave like a classroom where people are being loud. I wouldnt say that itself in general is a trigger but;

Sudden loud noises and repeated ones like banging on a desk or something can be a trigger for me, loud noises like that make me jump and mess with my anxiety plus I have paranoia so if it's truly out of nowhere I might feel anxious (one of my classmates bangs on desks a lot and its loud plus he sits near me in the two classes where he does it often and it really bothers me)

People showing me too much affection or showing it in a certain way when I either don't know them well enough or they just have a totally different personality than what I'm used to/comfortable with,, it makes me feel uncomfortable if a person like that would touch me at all or do something like send me a lot of heart emojis (example of something someone has done and I felt really uncomfortable because they did it a LOT)

People pretending to hit me or making it seem like they will, this one is more of a trigger because my grandma used to hit me for no reason (idk if you would consider that abuse?? I never describe it as that because I dunno it doesnt really seem like it) so sometimes if people make sudden movements near me I get scared that they were gonna hit me and if they actively try to hit me/act like they will it can give me a panic attack (like I said with the thing about my grandma plus my sister has threatened to hit me a lot so I've always been afraid of that)

People touching me when I either tell them not to or they don't get permission and they arent someone I trust or am close to,, one hug might be okay but after that I won't feel comfortable with it (another example of something someone has done!! I told someone not to touch my hair and they did anyway, I'm only okay with my very close friends doing that!!)

In addition to the touching thing, people touching me in certain areas like I dont want people touching my face, hands, chest area, or anything like that unless they've gotten my explicit permission, someone once put their hand on my chest and tried grabbing for my binder when I told them I was trans and do I even need to say how that crosses the line??

People I'm not friends with calling me certain things, not just things that could be insulting but also pet names or calling me a child,, someone irl referred to me and Alic as "children" and yeah we basically are I guess but I dont want people calling me that, only my friends can call me that?? But other than that you would need my permission to call me certain things if we arent close or friends, you are allowed to call me stuff like kiddo or a non-threatening "kid" if you want, it wont bother me, you just cant like call me random things and expect me to be cool with absolutely anything

Drunk people,, I guess that could be a bit of a trigger because of a couple things; a) my sister and her friend were drunk once and her friend repeatedly tried kissing me and I was so damn uncomfortable with it and felt violated, I still feel that even if it was like, I think last year?? I dont remember, but b) one time my sister was drunk (again) and she picked up a knife and starting coming near me with it and I started panicking telling her to stop but she kept following me with it and I was honestly afraid she would stab me, it wasnt a big knife but I was still afraid

This one is less general but when people upset teachers,, my first period teacher Ms Hamilton has her daughter Catherine sub for her when shes out and a few students make her mad a lot by not doing what they're told and she yells really loudly, which is a bit of a trigger for me circling back to the loud noises bit, I'm really afraid of when adults yell around me even if it's not yelling AT me, partially because loud noises scare me anyway and also I think it's because my dad would yell at my sister a lot because she would argue with him and that always made me come close to breaking down because I couldn't get out of the area where it was happening

Something that makes me uncomfortable is people who will try to text you often every day because I'm so bad at socializing and barely ever have good responses so when they text me too much I feel too obligated to text back and it stresses me out, only one person has done this (they also violated my touch boundaries and did the uncomfortable affection thing) and I ended up just ghosting them after a while because it was too much for me, I know that's weak but I work differently

Trigger for my paranoia is unsettling images that are just an overly creepy visual, some things I cant even describe why they creep me out, but it easily can trigger my paranoia and I hallucinate sometimes seeing creepy shadows and those things can add to it or give me anxiety so yeah I cant be sent creepy images like that,, not like gore stuff I can look at that it's just a certain kind of unsettling

Random thing I dont like sometimes is adults telling young people to act their age because typically they say it to people who are like 13 and 14 and at that age you cant expect them to be very mature yet?? Plus some of them actually do act more mature and then other adults will try to argue that they're just kids so they dont actually understand when they're speaking logically so what the hell do you want, for them to act their probably immature age or for them to act older?? Pick one and stick with it instead of adjusting it constantly for your own arguments or instead of saying act your age just say not to act like a kindergartner or not to act like a dunce or to behave better

#vent-ish #its kind of venty i suppose #you dont have to read it all #eh #alex babbling #tw needles #drinking mention #abuse mention

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thoughtfulpaperback · 5 years

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TV show quiz

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 peeps.

1. Ugly Betty

2. Single Parents

3. Charmed (Reboot)

4. Big Little Lies

5. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?

Omg. This is actually really difficult because I loved all the characters, but if i have to pick a favorite it would be Douglas Fogerty. He tries so hard to be a caricature of this "old school macho man" but her just cant hide the fact that he is more complex and sensitive than he let's on and he is too hilarious. Brad Garret in my opinion is just one of the funniest actors without trying. Loved him since Everybody Loves Raymond.

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1? Oh super easy! Matt Hartley. He was whiny, a complete jerk, and completely unfocused as a character. Like he was never a good boyfriend or standout the way Gio or Henry were. And I mean the henry relationship was problematic and Gio was never actually Betty's boyfriend. So Matt is really the only romantic relationship (not prepared to end or started in the after math of a breakup) that we see and to me he is absolutely meh and just an asshole at his worse. A lot of people compare him with Daniel but again maybe because of the way Daniel is written or because of how Eric played him I just never felt so absolutely disgusted with Daniel the way I was with Matt at certain points in the series. I was unhappy that betty got back with him after everything he had done to her.

3. What is your favorite episode of 4?

Oh hands down season 1 episode 7. The season finale. As much as I love and respect Renata Klein's season 2 melt downs and every episode she just let's people have it. I will always have the scene of Perry's attack and death imbeded in my minds. It was so beautifully done. Which seems wierd because death scenes are usually supposed to be violent or sad not beautiful. But the scene managed to still be violent and even a little sad (mostly because of the aftermath and shock that that happened and the characters went through that), but the was something about the scene cutting between the attack and images of the ocean beating waves against the rocks that just made it so powerful along with september song playing in the background. I mean it was just beautiful I cannot use that word enough.

5. Who is your favorite couple in 3?

Like actual couples or the ones in my mind? Lol. Sticking with canon then I would say Mel and Niko. In spite of everything they cared and loved each other and it was sad that Mels decisions and life changing dramatically got in the way of that.

6. Who is your favorite couple in 2?

Poppy and Douglas. Hands down since they are the only official couple so far.

7. What is your favorite episode of 1?

This is terrible I cant just pick one, but I guess if I have to it is a toss up between the very first episode and the last episode of the series. Both were done so well imo and ugh both gave me feels. So. Many. Feels.

8.What is your favorite episode of 5?

The Passion of Sabrina Spellman. Madam Satan. Nick. A Play and the devil on your shoulder. Everything I wanted in one episode.

9. What is your favorite season of 2?

Only one season in the series so far.

10. How long have you watched 1?

From the beginning (2006) and every year since it ended (2010). So over 10 years now.

11. How did you become interested in 3?

Fan of OG. Thought it was gonna be cool to see POC leads and new magic outside of white eurocentric magic and history. I do not regret it. I love it.

12. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Laura Dern. No contest even though I love them all.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

Ugly Betty is probably my first love in terms of TV show infatuation. I have loved many shows and even ones before Ugly Betty. But It was my first real love. And I will always be my preference. It has everything, personal and political messages, comedy, drama, and some borderline mystic moments (see mexico trip and subconscious manifestations of guilt as a reference).

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

Obviously, Ugly Betty since it has more episodes than the Charmed Reboot, but I've watched all the episodes of both series.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Madeline because even though she got those personal demons. Her husband (imo) is the best and even when he is a snarky passive aggressive jerk I still would want to be with him and find him just lovable. Also chloe is a pretty great kid. Yah the eldest daughter kinda sucks, but you know I feel like domestic life wouldnt be so bad. If I got to keep my personality. But I mean If i had to become the character fully and make the same decisions then none of them.

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

No. They are way to different in styles, genre, and filming.

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

Detty is canon as far as I am concerned and so right that I wont list it even though my sister suggested it (mostly to be spiteful :p). You know I just cant think of one. Not one I would be okay with at least. Sorry.

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Oh CAOS. No competition. I prefer Charmed and its characters, but COAS has a clearer and obviously well planned direction. Everything that they did had purpose and intention and it didnt feel as if there were dropped characters or plot points imo.

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Ok so what do we mean by theme music? Like opening main title song or like score, or song choice in between score and silence? If it is main title song then for sure BLL. Michael Kiwanuka is amazing. I loved the cover of "sometimes I feel like a motherless child" that he did for the Man in the High Castle Resistance Radio Album. And his song Cold Heart is amazing and I am glad BLL used it. Single parents doesnt have a main title song so BLL would win by default even if they hadn't used Cold Heart but hey still glad they did.

Alrighty gonna randomly tag some peeps and see if they want to play along.

Soo.... @gellsbellshead @scousesal @charmedbrujas @charmedlifesworld @brujeria-histeria @charmedwhitelighter @autistic-witchlighter @theballetslippertheblackhoodie

#the chilling adventures of sabrina #caos #charmed remake #charmed 2018 #charmed reboot #charmed cw #cw charmed #single parents #ugly betty #big little lies #bll

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whitetrashjj · 6 years

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Lara’s birthday mutual appreciation rant

Anyway as of 50 minutes ago, it’s my birthday and I’ve been playing tennis all day so naturally, I’m drunk.

So feeling the love and affection right now, I thought why not show some appreciation to all my mutuals who are amazing and I love.

there is a good chance I’ll regret this when I’m sober but lets take that gamble

Let’s start with a blanket statement, which is how happy even having mutuals makes me. Things from seeing my mutuals on my dash to seeing my posts on my dash and even just seeing that little *reblogged from* you thing makes me smile. Every time any of you say my name in your tags, it just remind me that you are real people and that I am real and some how I am connected to all these amazing people from around the world. i don’t even care if sometimes you have to check my description to remember my name

Having an outlet where I can share my thoughts and feelings on these stupid things I get obsessed with is amazing, and the fact that even one of you would listen to my stupid rants means the most to. I honestly think this is something we take for granted and some times we focus to much on the negative but tonight we are sharing the love, because we need more of that in this world.

In all honesty I don’t talk to many of you, and the ones that I do it’s only been once or twice. Please don’t take this the wrong way, mostly I think that I’m not that interesting, so why would you want to talk to me ? If I ever drop out of a conversation randomly it’s because I think I’m boring you and I don’t want to bother you even if you messaged me first . If I never message you first I promise it’s not because I don’t want to talk, but more my brain tells me you only wanted to talk once about that specific topic and then never wanted to interact again. But I promise if you want to talk to me, I’m always game.

That fact that you all continue to follow me and support me even when i’m posting and talking shit, or go through phases of shows that you don’t watch, or post about characters or ship that you don’t like, or sometimes actively hate (*cough*murven*cough*), really does mean alot in this small little world and i want to thank all of you for it...

Now onto some specifics... in no particular order

@clarkegriffintitties - i followed you because of you’re url because eternal mood, lets be real. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you this before, another drunk lara declaration, but not a single regret because you are officially my #1 crush, according to Tumblr. So keep doing your thang boo !

@eizagonzalezs - oh meg, a fellow cora hale stan. the literal reason I started watching the 100, you know back in the day when i thought they were canon and their names were the other way around. and ofcourse one of my murvensource gals. follow forever and eternal devotion !

@madigriffen - my other murvensource gal! i’m eternal grateful for you kat because I no longer feel like I’m single handedly coming out with murven content! im both shocked and impressed how quickly you have gained followers, but not at all surprised because you deserve every single on of them.

@blarke - maggie. you gave me this url. and that should be enough to express how much i appreciate you. but it’s not. you love for the boys from my old url, gendry and bell will always be remembered. and i wish you came and talked to me sooner because i honestly can’t remember what it’s like not to follow you, they must have been dark times. ALSO when I was stalking your about page when i first followed you i noticed our birthdays were one day apart, same year and all (different time zones but whatever) and that really excited me, so happy late birthday and hope you’re pumped for your 20′s!

@clarkebell - without a doubt one of my favourite mutuals. can i say, even though you seem like the sweetest most approachable people you intimidate the hell out of me. because you are pretty af, seem so cool and are all around just amazing. also i always love a fellow aussie, you are a blues supporter but i guess i can let that slide

@starboybellamy - i feel the thing i will always associate with you is the ‘my husband doesn’t understand the meaning of fucking hurry’ text post because it was the most unintentionally blarke thing ever. i always live for you’re bfsn, partly because you’re usually drinking and/or drunk and i respect that, mainly because you are gorgeous ..

@bellofthesky - i followed you because tumblr wouldn’t stop recommending you’re blog. and for once they got something right! despite me not having followed you for very long (5th most recent follow) you are one of my top 9 tumblr crushes. basically, i feel you’re content boo so keep it up xx

@bellarkes-hope - how long have we been mutuals? about a month. how long have i thought we’ve been mutuals? like all year. not much to say other than i dropped the ball, I've corrected that mistake and i’m now out here living my best life will you on my dash

@bb-8 - have i watched a single star wars movie? nope. did i squeal with excitement for you when you got this url? of-fucking-course! cody, you are the queen of icons and an amazing person. and anyone who loves anne bonny as much as i do will always be loved and respected in this house

@sanssa - a multifandom blog that is actually consistently multifandom? sorcery or just an icon? maybe both. Kyra, i feel like you were out there giving me love and supporting me back when i barely had any mutuals and for that you will always have a special place in my heart. i will admit i lost you for a minute there with url changes but i found you again of course you just moved to a different sansa stark url

@blueshirtbell - Isla you are probably the person who uses my name in the tags the most often and every time it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. also you’re comments on my bfsn are always so sweet and make me smile. you truely are a great person and i feel like everyone in you’re life is better off for it

@bellamynochillblake - you’re ship and let ship attitude is truly an inspiration, and lets be honest a massive relief at times when this fandom can become a negative mess!

@jarleene - as the author of some of my fave murven fics you will always deserve a special mention. when i saw you updated crazy recently i couldn’t stop smiling. that fic has been a slow process but worth every wait, i couldn’t care less if it ever gets finished because even having any of it is truly a gift!

@hvitserkk - desirae, you followed me soon after i followed you. why? i’ll never know. but you’re url alone is enough reason to love you. in this brief time i’ve already learnt so much from you about colourings and you are always my first stop to learn more! and eternal thank yous for getting me onto animal kingdom

@lieutenantshaw - im? not? worthy? im not sure why i feel this way.. maybe it’s the amazing edits or the whole aesthetic or maybe that your whole blog seems well thought out and clean and i feel like you looking at my blog would kinda be like that ‘damn bitch you live like this?’ picture.. do you feel like you’re blog is like that ? idk,, but if you are happy following me you do you cause it makes me feel good :)

the rest of my mutals - not because i love you less or don’t have anything to say about you but simply because i’m coming down, i’m tired and lazy as all fuck.

if you want a paragraph about why you are amazing swing into my ask box because i guarantee you I’ve got one ;)

@bellammy @p-tonkins @halfbloodduchess @the-most-beautiful-broom @octannibal-blake @failing-at-being-an-angel @diyozaa @niylvh @blakes-griffin @joncthanmurphy @johnmurphe @pandalandalopalis @izzycheeese @grumpymonty @tracylorde @bellamyblakesass @clarkesgrfin @a-timely-interruption @clorkegriffin @platonic-bellarke @abugonahotplate @smoakedvigilanties @beelarkes @inajohncriminalway @kaymarie195 @vixiously @otakujess @harpersmcintyred @the100lunarsship @vulgarvixen4 @head-and-heart @the-ships-to-rule-them-all @deadshotbellamy @fuckitforgendry @spaaleb

a few things before i go to bed..

if you read your paragraph and gone ‘damn girl that aint me’, so sorry i am drunk and easily confused

if i have tagged you and you are no longer/never was a mutual, many apologies and best of luck in your future endeavours

if you don’t like this feel free to completely ignore it, i wont mind :)

much love, drunk lara x

#t: ignore me #idk what to tag this?

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minblush · 6 years

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k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

#ask #anon #microwavehater

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ocean-butch · 6 years

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How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

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msaholidayspirits · 4 years

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MSA Holiday Spirits

A Gift Exchange for the Mystery Skulls Animated fandom!

Welcome to the 4th Annual Holiday Spirits! Gift givers will be randomly assigned to others, and gifts will be exchanged on Christmas day. Gifts can be big or small! The most important thing is to have fun!

How to join:

Submit a completed participant form HERE.

(if you choose to enter by sending an ask instead, Please send one to verify yours was received! if formatted incorrectly, asks do not show up, and there’s been past issues with that!)

Submissions will close after November 27th.

Assignments will be given throughout the 29th and 30th of November. If you haven’t received yours by the 1st, please send us a note! If this changes at all I will make a post!

Rules:

Gifts are due the 25th. Do not post them before then. If you wont be home that day, you can schedule it ahead of time so that it will post on that day!

On the 25th post your gift and don’t forget to @tag your giftee! Also put it in the event tag, MSAholidayspirits2020 so that I can see and reblog the wonderful gifts you all make!

This is a family friendly event, so no gore or NSFW is permitted. Do not use the event tag for art depicting that.

Please don’t reveal yourself to your giftee until the 25th. We want this to be a surprise!

If you have to back out of the event, let us know ASAP so we can find a back-up! Also if your gift will be late, please let us know, as well as your giftee on the 25th!

Participant form:

This form is what you will copy/paste into the submission box and fill out!

Url: The tumblr blog you want to use for the exchange. This is the one that the gift will be tagged with. Please pick ONE blog. DO NOT sign up multiple times with different blogs.

Other blogs(optional): Other blogs you think might help your gift giver get to know you. (MSA side-blogs or rps blogs for example)

Dislikes: Things you absolutely do not want to see. Notps, squicks and triggers or even something as simple a color you really hate.

Gift Skills: What are your skills/talents that you will most likely use to make your gift? It can be any media! Writing, drawing, music, vocals, anything you want!

Other(optional): Anything else you think we should know

Backup: If some other participants back out, would you be willing to help make backup gifts so that no one gets left out?

Gifting Nopes: If you would be unable to create a gift dealing with a certain element, then here is where you would state that. This will likely be the same as your dislikes, but if there’s some aspects people might not think of, they can go here. It could be something as small as a discomfort writing a specific character, or not wanting to draw an animal character, even if you don’t dislike them.

If you have any questions, or if we’ve forgotten something, please send a message! We want this to go as smooth and enjoyably as possible.

Thanks for reading and have fun!

#mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #msaholidayspirits2020 #4th annual! we're almost at a milestone haha #secret santa #long post

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dictionarywrites · 6 years

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hi ! this is just the person who took your tgoi survey and left a long comment abt loki and the grandmaster and the baby n stuff checking that u got it!!

The Game Of Intersections

Hey there, Anon! Thanks for the positive feedback - this is the comment, yeah?

I'm mostly reading tgoi for your excellent domestic all powerful power couple frostmaster content. after all the dubcon stuff it's wonderful to see how they interact with each other so lovingly and AAAAAA its so good!! if you ever wrote more from this point in time abt them id love to read it. i also like the later one, where loki takes on a lot of the grandmaster's traits, but i much prefer reading his dialogue when its still very him because the way their voices contrast each other is just so good! im loving the baby stuff and im super excited to see how having a child will shift the dynamic- will they be brought up to be as evil as their dad? will they have a happy childhood? will loki and the grandmasters behaviour around the kid change? like obviously they wont be having sex as much and stuff around the kid will be way more undercover than im sure sakaar is used to and itll be really interesting seeing how everyone deals with going from "live streamed orgies starring our dictator" to "not in front of the royal child" and like, how en dwi will have to kind of restrain himself from randomly fucking ppl in public at least in certain areas. will he be a good evil dad!! (we already know loki will be a good evil dad.) ily!

I just have like, a few things to say in response, just so that you know what you’re in for, because like...

You know, I’ve ummed and aahed over actually removing the Loki/Grandmaster tag from the Game of Intersections, because there’s a few people who read just for that and I worry the tag has mislead people, but honestly, as the fic goes on and the main characters are established, Frostmaster is very much going to fade into the background, making appearances only now and then. Even then, it’s still too big of a presence to just pretend it isn’t there, but like... It’s not a central thing.

This isn’t a Frostmaster fic. It’s a fic about the doubles, and the Frostmaster is a background element that’s intentionally made to like, juxtapose the kind of abuse the doubles are facing, but in my opinion, the Frostmaster dynamic is still very much abusive, and that will become more clear as time goes on.

Loki and En Dwi’s children will never be like, characters. They’re not really important enough for that. Again, this isn’t about... Them. You know? The dynamic will change with children, but like, that’s its own unhealthy deal, and as I don’t really write kidfic or care about child characters in most situations, I won’t really be focusing on it.

And just some warnings re: their actual dynamic, like...

In the beginning, I’m very intentionally portraying the Frostmaster dynamic as one that outwardly appears to be soft and sweet - it’s domestic, it’s casual, it’s evidently formed its own rhythm over a very long time; although Loki is not as powerful as En Dwi, he does have a more established grasp over his own power, and he is very much on the road to becoming an Elder himself; there is a sense of love that Loki very palpably feels for En Dwi, and En Dwi certainly feels what he would call love for Loki himself.

But this isn’t actually a departure from the dubcon I usually write, because that is, invariably, how I see their dynamic.

In order to reach the partnership they had, Loki stood about five hundred years of the Grandmaster abusing him in every way he could think of. He underwent countless horrors and tortures, was kinda pulled in every direction, and then... Stayed. Loki had a lot of issues with his self-esteem, and very much felt cut-off from every other relationship he has in the universe, with former connections either dead or with rifts between them. The Grandmaster, from the perspective of Loki’s very warped world view, seemed the safest thing.

But even now, I don’t believe that the Grandmaster truly sees Loki as his equal, just like he doesn’t see any of the other Elders as his equal. Loki is certainly more important, and he has ascended from “toy” and “pet” to “person”, but En Dwi’s love for him certainly isn’t selfless, and comes with conditions Loki isn’t always comfortable acquiescing to.

This will become clearer as the doubles each get a different handle on their dynamic - some of them being more reliable narrators than others - but while Loki isn’t frightened of the Grandmaster, that doesn’t mean that he won’t still torture Loki on a whim, or that he really respects Loki’s autonomy.

While Loki’s relationship with pain is very different from what it once was, it’s still something he can feel and experience, particularly when it comes to torturing him emotionally and psychologically.

I’m actually interested in the Frostmaster dynamic in this continuity myself, like, I do enjoy writing it and I am interested about exploring it more, but I think I’d be doing you a disservice if I kinda said “oh yeah, it’s soft,” because it isn’t.

Is Loki happy? Is Loki content? Is somebody in an abusive dynamic no longer being abused, because they’ll take any abuse thrown in their direction?

In a way. I think that Loki certainly thinks he’s the happiest he’ll ever get. He feels very satisfied, he likes his life, he’ll withstand very uncomfortable things because he gets affection in return. Does that make it okay? That one day the Grandmaster may turn around and just snuff him out like a candle, because it suited his whim for the afternoon?

These are kinda questions that the doubles are gonna be asking themselves, especially because they’ll be in mixed camps about how much Loki/Grandmaster is what it appears to be, and how comfortable they are with the idea of them having kids in the first place, when it does come up.

But just so that you’re aware that like, this isn’t a soft Frostmaster fic either, and that like, there’s some very fucked up stuff in that regard even still, you know?

Also, while I do appreciate your positive comments, I would definitely encourage you to read the fic as it’s meant to be read - I know it’s a lot of unfamiliar characters, but this is a project I’m genuinely so proud of, and it’s so much better already than anything I’ve written before, maybe ever. The Frostmaster is gonna be a background dynamic, sure, but like, if you’re enjoying the Frostmaster, I do think you’d enjoy the interactions between the “real characters” of the fic.

I gotta admit, like--

It’s your choice if you just want to skim the fic for Frostmaster, and I certainly can’t stop you, but I’d ask that you give the proper continuity a try, you know? I really think you might enjoy it.

Thanks so much again, Anon!

#the game of intersections #frostmaster #dub con cw #Anomymous #t; answered asks #as defined by dictionary

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nygmasexual · 7 years

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synpaths meme ⋆

was tagged by @endless-nygmobblepot. thanks, babe!

rules: put your characters in order you relate to most to least, tag any of your tumblr friends you think would want to do this after doing it, and explain why you relate to each synpath “character”.

judy hopps { zootopia }

↳ so no matter what kind of person you are, i implore you: try. try to make the world a better place. look inside yourself and recognize that change starts with you.

1. yeah, shes an animation, but shes also the main source of reason why i am the person to this day. judy longs to make the world a better place, to prove others wrong that she isn’t some token bunny and worth so much more. it isn’t about looks, its about trying and to just be yourself.

2. shes a female heroine with both flaws and strengths, just like everyone else. she believed in the importance of always giving everything a shot and making an effort to reach your goals, no matter what.

3. her passion towards the police is what inspired me to make the world a better place and just show that life isn’t all that cynical and dark. there may be bad times, but good moments are yet to come.

diana prince { wonder woman }

↳ I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.

1. “i cannot stand by while innocent lives are list.” this quote will always be my number one motto. when i hear about all of the shit going down in the world, it just fuels me to persue my dream even more. i don’t just wanna sit around while innocent people are dying, i want to make a change. to shine a bit of light in a dark situation. call me cliche, but it’s true.

2. diana tends to throw herself into dangerous situations. she jumped into no man’s land without thinking twice. she is moved by the suffering of the people and fights their fight for them. whenever my friends are going through a hard time, i’ll be there for them no matter what. they may not want me around in fear that i’ll be hurt in return, but thats the least of my worries.

3. selfless, incredibly brave yet stubborn, but also a role model to all sorts of people. the world isn’t gonna change unless you make some sort of improvement with it first. diana, along with judy, are the reasons why i’ll be joining the army and pursuing my career in peacekeeping.

tony stark { iron man }

↳ i’m just a man in a can.

1. not a lot of people will agree but let's be honest. tony is constantly judged and classified to be a villain and isn’t well liked by others. in my opinion, he's just trying his damn best and people tend to forget he's just a human being. mistakes happen, its part of life. but we learn how to grow and to improve by fixing those mistakes. its how we learn, and he does a remarkable job at illustrating this.

2. the reason why i relate to tony is because i know what it feels like to do a mistake and people still holding that against you. trying to redeem yourself is hard to do when you are constantly surrounded by negative people, makes you suffocate and not feel worthy which isn’t fun. but luckily, i learned who are my real friends and i’m gonna stick by them no matter what. love you guys.

3. tony has a lot of self-hatred for himself, people tend to forget that. he covers up his vulnerability by using humor and giving off sarcastic replies, he hides behind a mask just to keep up everyone’s moods and to not appear weak. in reality, he’s just afraid of what people would think of his true colors; afraid to be judged and afraid to even open up to the right people. hes believes that acting like he doesn’t care makes him appear strong. he’s also a self-destructive type of person and would probably sacrifice himself to make others happy.

eddie kaspbrak { it 2017 }

↳ they’re my friends, and you’re not going to steal my friends just because you’re scared of being alone.

1. has an over protective mother and was neglected to do quite a bit of stuff. friends were the ones who pulled him away from that sort of negativity. in this case, my mother wasn’t nearly as bad as eddie’s mom, it was more my grandmother but i wont bore you with the details.

2. one way at home but another way with friends. at home i was pretty much a good kid, but with my friends all i do is fuck around and cuss sooo fucking badly, its ridiculous. parents weren’t fan of friends and tried to cut them out. father’s not in the picture anymore. used to have a terrible case of asthma but found comfort from friends and got over it.

3. the mom friend out of the group; making sure others are well and if something is up they’ll totally fucking come to the rescue.

( i’m sorry i’m not going into full details with this one! i just relate to him a lot and it’s pretty personal stuff! )

richie tozier { it 2017 }

↳ it...it says I’m missing.

1. richie is a very fun sort of character, he just doesn’t let out a lot which i totally relate to. acts tough, but is actually a huge softie. can be rather loud and obnoxious one moment but also can be a cry baby the next. i’m pretty sure all of my friends can agree that i’m pretty much like this majority of the time.

2. uses humor to cover up true emotions. hates the feeling of vulnerability and looking weak. whenever a crowd is down, most likely will try to cheer people up and make a stupid joke or two. tends to platonically flirt with all friends and considers friends to be their #1 family.

3. loves horror movies but has a shit ton of fears. a big fear of mine is to be forgotten, like with richie’s fear of being missing. anything can happen and it would suck if i didn’t leave a mark in this world or in anyone's heart, since a lot of people touched mine.

4. someone also once said i resemble richie a lot when it comes to looks {probably black hair and the brown glasses} but jokes on them i’m taking it as a compliment now man!

ivy pepper { gotham }

↳ words always hurt me way more than sticks or stones.

1. this one would be short and simple since i’m sleepy and the squad really wants to see the post. for starters, ivy looks like an adult but shes actually a child. what a mood since thats fucking me everyday. she gets babied around a lot and is treated as if she’s either stupid or weak. i relate to this since i normally do get babied around in general; either it being school, friends outside of tumblr, etc.

2. she’s actually really fucking strong and badass. is a protective little plant sister and deeply cares about her family, who are her friends. pretty eccentric, wild, which makes her fun and different compared to others. also shes out serving looks and calling out people, bless.

3. ivy can be a little devious at times, a wild card. but she can also be quite selfish and a little bit ditzy at times when it comes to some sort of things. you can tell shes trying her best though, trying to make herself known and to show others that they shouldn’t take an advantage of her.

dustin henderson { stranger things }

↳ SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

1. this will be short and sweet cause it’s quite obvious why i relate to this bean! he’s a huge comic book junkie, to the point he’ll randomly quote something entirely dorky from either a book or a movie. he’s just so much like me and i love it.

2. best friends are important to him, the same for me. in the show he has like four while for me i got seven and i see nothing wrong with that. would probably sacrifice myself if anything were to happen to them, which says a lot.

3. has a terrible fucking habit when it comes to swearing, very much like me. fuck is probably my only vocab and my favorite word to use for any situation. he tends to wear bright, silly colors and only gives a shit about food. wow, what a mood.

harry hart { kingsman }

↳ sorry about that, needed to let off a little steam.

1. harry is someone i really want to be when i grow up. he’s so fucking cool, a good role model, and kicks fucking ass so casually while still looking like a babe.

2. he has a liking towards butterflies and longed to do something with his interests, but instead went to the army. this relates to me; i admire animals and wanted to be a zoologist for a long time, but instead i’m gonna pursue my career elsewhere.

3. i have been told from a lot of people i’m a really good listener and tend to give good advice, so if you need anything, i’m here! just drop a message and i gotchu. like harry- he is normally seen in the movie giving good advice and showing that he’s a fantastic listener. but, its also important to listen to what he has to say and provide some advice of your own. he may look big and tough, but he’s going through a lot and doesn’t let out a lot about themselves.

THIS WAS ALL SO DEPRESSING BUT I SWEAR I’M ACTUALLY REALLY CHILL (OR SO I HOPE) EWUOFJFTGV

#squadfam #synpath #personal #me #i dont even know why i took my time to do this i'm stressing #dont judgeeee #i might delete later. dont kill me #judy hopps #diana prince #tony stark #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #ivy pepper #dustin henderson #harry hart

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topicprinter · 6 years

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Hi all, I recently wrote this post about how Drip screwed over its most loyal customers and I thought perhaps /r/Entrepreneur would get value out of my lessons learned.----If you’re not familiar, Drip is email marketing software that’s pretty heavy on the marketing automation front. I won’t do them the courtesy of a link, so you’ll have to Google them if you want to check it out.They’ve been around since 2012 or so, founded by someone I trusted, but he sold the business to Leadpages a few years ago, and it’s been going downhill ever since.I’ve been using them for years as the backbone of two “side” businesses: IndieHive, which covers this website for freelancers and the related products and services that I sell, and Everleads, a curated lead generation site for freelance designers and developers.In 2016 and 2017, I really dug deep into Drip. I built out dozens of interconnected workflows to carefully shepherd my subscribers through various funnels and sequences with duplicate emails or annoying content that’s not relevant to them. I integrated my web front-end with their APIs so that I could customize the site for subscribers. I wrote bridging scripts to connect it to Mixpanel for analytics, and I used Zapier to hook Drip up to even more services. It was the heart of my entire business, and it was awesome.But throughout 2018, things started to go awry.I kept experiencing glitches in the workflows where people would get stuck on workflow steps that should be instant, like “remove tag”. Or people would end one workflow and start another, but not have any of the data that the first workflow had set. There were honestly dozens of these little glitches, but individually they were minor.Also troubling: deliverability started to slip. Not precipitously, and I can’t prove that it wasn’t just my emails, but I have heard from others that they were having issues with getting their emails into people’s inboxes in 2018.But the most egregious thing for all of this was that support was basically no help at all. I probably opened two dozen support requests in 2018 and I’m not sure they actually resolved a single one. We’d spend hours going back and forth so they could even understand the problem. Then they’d almost always say one of two things:“For a workaround, just insert a number of delays between steps in your workflows so that the system doesn’t get confused!” So all my workflows had little 5 minute delay steps to try and make sure things worked correctly. Which they still didn’t. Wtf.Or they’d just say they need to escalate to the developers and then I’d get an email weeks or months later from some random support engineer letting me know they were still looking into why the most basic functions of their software don’t work right. Awesome.Alarmed by this, I repeatedly researched alternatives throughout 2018, but nothing seemed worth going through the pain of migration and the risk of just having similar issues somewhere else. So I kept resolving to be patient with Drip and hope (pray) that they were hard at work at undoing whatever architectural disaster had led us here.And then…In early January 2019, while I was on a relaxing cruise with my wife for our 15th anniversary, I got an email from Drip:https://ryanwaggoner.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/drip-bullshit-pricing-email-2.pngSo basically: “Hey, we’re raising our prices in 12 days! You can keep your current price if you switch to an annual plan!”And if you read it carefully, there’s something pretty important missing from this email.It doesn’t say what the new pricing is**. Seriously wtf.**So I emailed to ask. They responded the next day (so now I have 11 days) to reveal they were doubling my monthly price.Drip raised my price from $184 / month to $368 / month with 12 days notice.That’s just about the worst way imaginable to treat your oldest and most loyal customers.And it was the last straw for me.Now, to be clear, I completely understand wanting to grow a company in a new direction, or thinking that you need to raise prices to reflect more value.But you don’t do it when your platform is half-broken, you don’t do it with 12 days notice, and you grandfather in existing customers, at least for long enough for them to migrate. Also, you tell them the price when you tell them that prices are rising.It’s hard to imagine how Drip could have been more disrespectful to their customer base than what they did here.So as of last month, I switched all my subscribers to ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign for Everleads and IndieHive, respectively. That’s thousands of dollars that Drip won’t be getting from me. I managed to get both setups completely migrated off just before their billing renewal dates, in one case with literal minutes to spare.It was a pain and required some late nights but it was worth it to deny them another penny.I’m not alone in feeling upset about this. Twitter was ablaze for weeks with people who were angry and bailing for greener, more respectful pastures. I’ve taken a sick joy in watching a lot of people migrate off Drip with much larger lists than mine.I also cancelled Leadpages in favor of Instapage. I was already unhappy with Leadpages, mainly because it feels pretty clunky and dated, they aren’t very responsive to user feedback, and they’re still missing some pretty basic things (like being able to pass form data to the thank you page. Seriously?).Side note: I was going to link to the Leadpages idea portal, but they apparently shut it down. Makes sense, since it was filled with hundreds of good ideas with many, many customer votes that had been ignored for years.Regardless, even if Leadpages was awesome, they own Drip and I won’t give another penny to such an unethical company that treats its customers so poorly.And this migration was a huge pain (which is what they were counting on), partly because of how complex my Drip setups were, but also because ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign are both pretty different from each other and from Drip. On the surface, they all do some of the same things, but once you dig in, things diverge, which made the migration especially painful.Drip is complicated. Stupidly so. In fact, it’s so complicated that there are a number of problems using it:It doesn’t really work. I mean, it does like 99% of the time, but that last 1% means that some of your subscribers are going to have a bad time. And it’s not just that their emails won’t show up. They might just get stuck in a workflow, or skip some emails in a sequence, or get things at the wrong times, or lose data, etc. And since this happens randomly, the number of subscribers who experience it accumulates over time.The customer support reps don’t really know how it works, because it’s too complicated. So you end up spending hours writing up descriptions of the problem and putting together screencasts to show how things don’t seem to be working, and the only response you get is that they’ll have to ask the developers.It encourages you to setup really fancy complex automations which, even if they did work, are way beyond what you actually need. Just imagine: you can do anything! You can track everything! You can have an unlimited number of tags and fields! Track and automate all the things!Your setup can end up being really brittle and deeply tied to the Drip architecture, which is a problem if you want to migrate off. And it’s hard to expand and modify over time without breaking all kinds of things for your subscribers who are in those automations.The setup is hard to document. It’s easy to end up with a large collection of documents and spreadsheets and screencasts to try and explain not only what you did, but why you did it.It’s hard to audit and debug when things go wrong. And things will go wrong. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s happening with your subscribers, where things went off the rails, and how to get it back on track without screwing things up further.In the end, Drip for me felt like a really shitty programming language. Technically possible to do almost anything, but so painful that in the end you wish you hadn’t bothered.By contrast, ConvertKit is simple. And yes, I think it’s too simple in places. I think there are some genuine gaps in the functionality that makes it a little too hard to get done the things you want.But I’m also aware of the fact that I’m coming from Drip and a really convoluted setup, so being forced to simplify is probably a good thing.And ActiveCampaign is not simple, but it’s powerful in a bunch of ways that Drip should have been. Additionally, it has the distinction of actually being, you know, functional. Crazy, I know.Also, ActiveCampaign apparently is more open to feedback than Drip. I posted a Twitter thread listing some things that I like about it and Jason VandeBoom, the founder of ActiveCampaign, setup a call with me to go over some of my feedback. And ActiveCampaign isn’t a tiny company; they have hundreds of employees and are much larger than Drip. It meant a lot to me that Jason would just jump on the phone with a random customer to see how they could improve.Meanwhile Drip’s emails aren’t even signed by an actual person. During this whole debacle, I don’t think anyone from Drip actually responded to anyone’s tweets or complaints. A couple days after the initial announcement when things were blowing up on Twitter, they sent this out another email that was basically "sorry, not sorry"Just like their price increase, all of their corporate communication just screams “We don’t care about you. Go away.”So I did.I’m actually really glad that I dropped Drip, after all that. Partly because of how much better ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign are as tools, but mostly because it taught me a lesson about how you need to be careful when you’re a small company about who you integrate with, because while your interests may align now, that could change at any point.But this rant has gone on long enough, so I’ll save that point for a future post.Disclaimer: just in case Drip decides to sue me (which would be so on-brand for them at this point), ALL the descriptions of Drip’s functionality, failings, and communications is to the best of my recollection and should not be taken as a literal word-for-word account.----Happy to answer any questions about my experience with Drip, ConvertKit, or ActiveCampaign. Would also love to hear anyone else's experiences with any of those (or others you'd recommend in the space of email-based marketing automation).Original post: https://ryanwaggoner.com/drip-pricing-review/

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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sassyhottubstrawberry-blog · 6 years

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