#also dont usually do this format so it was Fun

[whoviandoodler]

this is how this scene went right

[id in alt]

[sealsdaily]

Rating Seal Emojis

Somewhat of a tired format but i still enjoy it so i decided to do one myself?

These sweet thangs don't have much history, as the seal emoji was only added in 2021, but there's still enough to go around so let's go.

Apple iOS

Looks to be evocative of a really grey baby seal. It's quite sweet but i dont like that it has shoulders. 7/10

Google Android

Actually biased, but this is easily one of the cutest. I can excuse the undefined flippers. 10/10

Samsung 2.5

Like trying to redraw the Google emoji from memory. The features seem weirdly disconnected from each other. 5/10

Samsung 6.0

They went back, and decided it needed to be cuter, which they overdid, but who's to say it didn't work? 100% baby thing. Hind flippers are way small though 7/10

Windows 11 2021

Feels more evocative of a baby harp seal than the other ones. The tail makes what i can only describe as a "Seal Bident" and the front flippers are closest to the sleeves of a wavy blouse, but above all, it's JOYFUL and y'know what, i love the energy 9/10

Windows 11 November Update

...and then this came in. There's nothing wrong with this one per se but just compare the previous one! They took its joy and made it some kind of undefined mystery species. 5/10

Microsoft 3D Fluent

It's just the last one, but in 3D. Purple is a pretty novel color to shade a seal with but it doesn't add much, and the definition 3Dness gives it makes it feel weirder. 5/10

WhatsApp

"A seal is just like if you put a dog head on a fish, right?" I can't find a single species of phocid that has this coloration making me think they found an Australian sea lion and went "good enough". Ironically, this one also has the most accurate pose and flipper detail, so it's kind of a net zero. 7/10

Twitter

Sea lion! The tail is a hand and while usually that could be fun and interesting this emoji is going for accuracy and it just makes that fall apart a little bit. 8/10

Facebook

Standing tall and proud! This emoji, while recognizing how the hind flippers are placed, seems to forget the tail resulting in Smooth Barbie Crotch for seals. Front flippers bend real weird too. 8/10

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

going to format this like a reddit post because it’s the only way. i (transmasc) don’t know if i’m sexually attracted to the girl (transfem) im having sex with. i’ve known for a while that i’m asexual and fuck for fun, and when i see my friend who i’m fucking, i don’t have any immediate overwhelming desire to have sex with her, unless we’re like, in the moment yknow? like i totally forget that it’s even an option bc i could just sit there and talk to her for hours as my friend bc i love (platonic) her dearly and we have a lot of stuff in common. my only quip is that like, is that sexual attraction ???? being in her bed and having our hands on each other and kinda feeling it then? but not at other times? is sexual attraction constant?? maybe im bisexual and aromantic. or maybe i’m regular bisexual and i just dont like romantic relationships. makenzie why are human minds so goddamn difficult to parse the emotions of? i want to be her friend but im confused by my emotions towards her. how am i consistently having sex with someone im not literally sexually attracted to? and liking it? i mean that kinda has to be sexual attraction right? idk. help girl (gender neutral)

hi anon,

have a seat. drink some water. take a deep breath. we're wildly overthinking this.

what you call yourself - asexual, aro bi, bi but not into romance, whatever - that doesn't actually matter.

here are the things I'm worried about here: are you feeling at all pressured or coerced here? given the choice would you want to stop having sex with this person? do you feel comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when you have sex? you don't need to be overcome with raw sexual yearning for your sexual buddy, but do you enjoy and look forward to having sex with her? is this a positive experience for you?

it's fine to have sex even if you don't walk around thinking about it drooling like a horny cartoon wolf, whether it's because you're asexual or just allosexual without a particularly vigorous sex drive. (the line between those things can be pretty blurry and is pretty up to you to define, by the way.) sex can be fun and feel great; it's fine to want to do that even if you don't have a longing in your loins for it.

think of it this way? I don't particularly like most vegetables, but I like how my body will feel when I eat them, so I make a point of doing that as much as I can. and when I cook them they'll usually come out pretty tasty, and I'll enjoy or at least fell neutral about them. and still doesn't mean I like vegetables, or at least I don't particularly identify as someone who likes vegetables, but I did. eat those vegetables.

the sex is vegetables.

I can't tell you if this is sexual attraction. but also it doesn't matter very much as long as you're being safe and having fun.

[yenqa]

how enha would react seeing you at their concert!

pairing : enhypen x gn!reader

warnings : like two swear words, mentions of cuddling, relationship is public in jungwons 🤞🤞, mentions of jealousy and crying

wc : 0.84k

a/n : hope you enjoy anon! they might seem similar bc i ran out of ideas after jay also new format

heeseung

ok so we all know damn well this man is a huge flirt.

so yk he’s doing his flirty things while performing but once he spots you, its over for any engene.

he’s actually kinda shocked that you came because they didn’t tour in your area

he literally only winks in your direction and the engene next to you thinks they’re dying

he keeps looking over at you and when he sings polaroid love, you know he’s singing it to you.

but engenes keep getting suspicious because they’re like why does hee keep interacting with only that engene?????

and the clip of someone recording him singing polaroid love to you goes viral!!

jay

im sorry but realistically he does not spot you.

ok but pretend he does and he’s like :000 inside but he like hides it bc he’s in the middle of a concert!!

he gets like a splurge of confidenceand energy so he performs way better than usual (not like there is much to improve on)

and he starts getting like flirty with engenes (you) and fans are like omg what’s happening to him!!?!,!???

he smiles at you so much throughout the concert

man starts crying during shout out and you lowkey tear up a bit

after the concert you go backstage and he pulls you into the biggest hug and like twirls you around :))

bf jay is keeping me alive rn

jake

ok so we know he’s flirter number 2

idk how but he spots you immediately and his face brightens

he literally starts getting all flustered when you two make eye contact

you throw him a little hat you made/bought and he wears it THE WHOLE concert

like fever? he’s wearing it. drunk dazed? hes wearing it

he doesn’t care that it’s a cutesy hat he’s still wearing it

until his manager makes him take it off

he blows you a kiss whenever he can

and he gives himself a pat on the back whenever he sees you flustered

but he also gives himself a dating rumor because engenes notice everything

sunghoon

opposite of jay, when he spots you in the front row he gets shy

like “omg what if i mess up then y/n never likes me again”

but once he sees you having fun, all his worries are gone and he’s also having fun

he pays more attention to whatever section your in and he like keeps walking to wherever you are.

and when he’s like running through the stadium he completes your heart and your heart only

his smile grows whenever he looks at you smiling and dancing

at the end of the concert he gives a little message to engenes (you) and it’s like

“thank you so much for coming today, you make me happy when i see you dancing and having fun” blah blah blah

but you and him both know that the message is for you and you only

sunoo

you know he smiles when he spots you

bro goes from ☺️ to 😁 (that looks a little silly)

he keeps trying to not make eye contact with you but he can’t help it :((

he picks up your phone and he films a little video of him blowing a kiss to the camera (mostly to you but engenes dont know that)

at the encore he specifically requests the songs you love that they didnt perform

after the concert you know that you’re getting cuddles

he fr rushes home with you like hes zooming bc hes tired and you cuddle <33

well after he takes a shower

he loves when you play with his hair

so when you do, he falls asleep quickly

jungwon

ok so your relationship is public

he keeps waving at you and mentioning you

“y/n is here!” “y/n loves this song” “y/n knows the dance to this part of-“

enhypen just wants him to shut up about you

he performs extra hard and sends his failed winks to you

when hes running around the stadium he stops to kiss you hand before running back around

during tfw he points to you multiple times

he can’t stop smiling whenever he looks at you

he keeps eye contact while singing shout out and tears up a little but :((

he literally rushes to you after the concert like he cannot contain his excitement

i need jungwon NOW.

niki

this man gets so cocky

when he sees you filming him and only him, he grins so hard

but secretly he’s so flustered

Y/N? at my concert? filming me?

he acts extra flirty to engenes to make you jealous

when he sees you frowning a little bit, he stops and winks at you

he winks at you a little too much…

when he sees you smiling wide at his parts, he almost forgets all his moves

like how did he get so lucky with you??

if you’re relationship is public you best know he’s talking about you

“my y/n is here at the concert today!”

just be careful of jealous engenes

[snnnailmail]

THE NEW CHAPTER IS SO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVGDFCHBVKDSVBKHFBJLSVBJLSSJLVBSLJBVLS🦅🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥 GOOD FKN SOUP IM DEVOURING IT RN it might be my fav chapter thus far........It has elements of The horrors tm and scenes that make me kick my feet in delight GODDDDDD🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 AAAAnd as usual I have some new silly doodles that I've got (Sadly I cant draw fast enough to finish my fan art for this chapter BUTIMWORKINGONSMT). I do have the RGB reader designs that I mainly use so that other fans could (maybe....just maybe...) mold their reader/player into whatever they want but I DO have a design that caters to my fav design tropes...

ALSOALSO- I've got a folder righttt 👉here where I'll compile some more sketches (and the animation with the right sync good gracious me-) so that I dont BOMBARD you with 50plus images.

the last "AGAIN"- THE CHAPTER WAS SO SCRUMPTIOSSSSSSS- KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you I'm so glad you love it!! 🦅💥 (Nonsense emojis are becoming a habit I have to stoppp...)

It's so funny you said that cuz I have a Doc called "kicking my feet blushing giggleinf" that I use to jot down the "fluffy" moments when the inspiration worms hit x0

And take your time with the art gurl!! What you've already done is amazing!! The most important thing is that it's fun and engaging for you,, no pressure 🫶

Those RGB designs are a banger btw they have so much personality!! I forgot to mention I loved the color scheme of your animation. I'm a sucker for some super saturated RGB...

OKAY now I'm gonna gush abt your art >:o] I love your insert she's too spunky!! She looks so done w him LOL. Also your style is delightful and fun!! I love your habit of drawing ppl with tired eyes and no mouth. It speaks to me.

The “You look lonely” piece is gorgeous btw :) He’s so shinyyy,, Insert looks tireddd. I know it’s the meme format or whatevah but I would be too.

I hope you don’t mind me sharing screenshots? Just let me know :o) I’m abt to holler abt some sketches.

THESE!! These made me so soft oml. I know in my heart he feels like a Squishmallow or whatever those fat chibi stuffed animals are.

DRIP KINITO 🔥🔥🔥 I giggled. Also baseball Kinito is canon now. To me. I just KNOW he picks up random human sports and tries his darndest to play them with only two people. (Reader cheering him on and also looking thoroughly depressed is so real LMAO)

I think that's all I have in my heart for now... TY for this plethora of art you went above and beyond <3

BTW I’m gonna provide a pic of the players here for easy viewing cuz they’re cool as freak 💯🐊

EDIT: I am so glad!! You love my fic!! I heart U!!

[furuyalover]

Hello welcome back! I'd like to request relationship headcannons with kuro,oikawa and sugawara (separately) with a male reader who's more quiet and reserved that some people think is mean looking but in reality is just a softy that loves cute things. For the song I'd like to request super shy by new jeans.

super shy ! | mars & her music event

“wait a minute i make you mine, make you mine”

— ft. kuroo tetsurou & oikawa tooru x male!reader

AN: ahh ty for ur request!! this was rlly fun & something new for me since i dont listen to kpop that often :)) hope u enjoy! also im trying this new-ish format out so lmk if u prefer this or my usual longer, drabble styled format :D

kuroo tetsurou

the dynamic between you & kuroo is one that i feel like is awfully similar to kuroo & tsukishima! a semi-obnoxious goofball and a quiet, mean looking guy, who is secretly a lover boy.

“you're on my mind all the time”

needless to say people were very surprised to find out you were dating kuroo

“kuroo’s dating him? i never would’ve thought of pairing, he doesn’t seem like he likes people, even more so relationship sort of guy you know?”

the comments your peers made were bothersome at first but you and kuroo both ignored them

all that really mattered was how much you guys loved each other, so who cares what they think

but knowing kuroo, that won’t stop him from making a snarky comment to shut them up

“obviously im dating him hello? you’re all just jealous that he actually enjoys my company, and not that of a bunch of losers” kuroo was always convinced everyone was jealous that he got to be with you

regardless, you would also roll your eyes and half heartedly apologize for his comments

definitely a huuuuge physical touch and acts of service typa guy

this would always be perfect, since you weren’t the biggest fan of going out, & even just laying together in bed was good enough to be a date for you two

he absolutely loves cuddling with you, and makes it a point to always be touching you when you’re out in public

whether it be having his arm laying atop your shoulder, or rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand while your fingers are intertwined, he always needs you with him.

“i wanna tell you, but im super shy, super shy”

normally you’re quiet around others and kuroo knows this, but you’re more talkative with him and he loves it.

he takes in every word you say and relishes in it.

and one thing about kuroo, he will remember EVERYTHING you talk about or mention

did you briefly mention a new snack you wanna try? you better believe tomorrow you’ll be greated with that on your kitchen counter

that’s just the kind of guy kuroo is. despite his goofy personality, he’s extremely caring and observant. he’ll always do everything in his power to make you feel loved, even the little things. especially the little things really. he believes that these small things are truly what shows how much he cares, without being outwardly affectionate, because he knows how much they make your day. while he won’t hesitate to scream and shout his love for you, he’s a big fan of the quiet type of love that you’re more receptive to. that’s your type of love, with your tetsurou.

oikawa tooru

“find a lil' spot, just sit and talk. looking pretty, follow me”

you honestly found it surprising when you and oikawa started dating, you didn’t think he would be interested in someone like you considering his fan club. but unfortunately the fan club felt the same way.

you really could care less about his fan club though. making sure to constantly roll your eyes at them, and show them your cold attitude

this ofc made them say things like “how could oikawa like him??? he’s actually so mean”

but this didn’t matter !! because behind closed doors you’re a lover boy & oikawa knows that

oikawa is a major quality time and words of affirmation proprietor when it comes to showing his love to you. he’ll do anything with you, as long as it means you guys are together & he gets to be with you

will always always thank you and show his appreciation after every one of his games you go to

if you’re ever feeling down about yourself or his fan club/admirers are giving you a hard time, he won’t hesitate to tell them off & give you reassurance

“you know you’re amazing right? don’t listen to what anyone says, you’re my whole world, and i see every aspect of my life with you” it’s crazy because he’ll can stuff like this so lovingly and casually, like it doesn’t make you choke up

“i'm super shy, super shy. but wait a minute while i make you mine, make you mine

i have a headcanon that oikawa is actually a big poetry fan, and he will send you poems almost daily that remind him of you

tooru looooves to show you off !! even though you’re somewhat stoic and aren’t publicly lovey-dovey with him, he won’t skip a beat to show you off or mention you any chance he gets

you’re the last person he’ll talk to before a game, demanding good luck hugs & kisses, and the first person he runs to after a game. whether he won or lost, it doesn’t matter because he’s just thankful that you were here with him

though he’s aware of his huge club of admirers and how much of a toll they can take on the both of you, he’ll never give them any attention outside of just being polite. because at the end of the day they don’t matter to him, you do. waking up to you every morning, telling you how glad he is to have you in his life, spending hours on end talking about nothing and everything, this is the life you live being in love with tooru oikawa.

reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

[yxstxrdrxxm]

And that... Is the end of Flawed.

Or the one I hosted for my silly event here anyway.

[ TL;DR under read more: The lack of interest and stress I got from irl matters led me to drop the event and ending it early, but! I have a blog made for the sake of continuing/restarting the event.

Please vote on the poll if you want it to be catered to the reader or stick to Yesterday, and be unbiased, too. Vote what you want, and I'll try and make it happen.]

CONTEXT UTC:

So, I know you guys have a lot of questions, and I can't blame you. I know the biggest one in your mind right now, which is:

Why did I end Flawed early?

The reason why I ended Flawed was actually multiple. Please keep in mind that these are for my observations, and overall I'm not blaming anyone for this. I just noticed it and thought I should bring it up lol.

1. Writing for days burnt me out.

Although Flawed is a passion story/project of mine, writing so much burnt me out. And by a lot. There were days I struggled to think of writing because I have other commitments to do, and sometimes its why polls came out super late or super early. I tried to compensate for it by posting 1 poll a day, but when it didn't work, I pushed myself to make more for 1 day.

I wanted so badly for the whole event to flow like a CYOA because by next month (April), I won't be free to host this as I used to with OLC. However, in that process, I burnt myself out to the point I needed to take longer breaks/forget this event.

It sucks. I would not recommend doing this if you think you want to (because it is NOT worth it).

2. Interactions were... Lacking.

This event is interaction heavy, and the reason why is because you guys control the story that Yesterday and others are in. Naturally, this also affects the characters and how I shape Flawed from start to finish. I have a plot line for it, of course, but the interactions were... Not there.

I noticed the usual ones from my mutuals, sure, but there were moments that I felt like I was simply posting to no one. It was unfortunate during the time with Diluc, where I had hoped that some of you would go, but due to complications (ahem, the votes weren't able to decide on going when the deadline was up), I had to write how it's supposed to go with some... Changes.

It also made me feel sad to see that there weren't much (if at all) interactions to Yesterday. Tinuvion received a fair bit, which is nice because he's a little shit (please bully him lol), but Yesterday after the first week and a half just... Didn't get any. At least, in my records.

I'm not saying this to guilt you guys to interact more, but I am saying this because it feels sad for me to see that unlike OLC, this... Flopped. I had a lot of responses + moments planned if it took off that much, but... Oh well. There's always that one story that won't hit for everyone.

And finally:

3. Maybe you guys wanted it to be catered to you, not to an OC.

I had a feeling that, from the start, Flawed may not take off.

Unlike One Last Call (which was a matchup event + story), Flawed was a CYOA but you guys aren't the main focus/MC, Yesterday (my oc) is. I was hoping that with this method, you guys get to play the omnipotent voice and see how far the story can go until it's conclusion.

However, as I hosted the event for the next few days to weeks, I realized that it was simply too difficult. Maybe I wasn't prepared to host this type of format, as ambitious as it is, but I realized that maybe, you guys don't deserve this format and I should've made it catered to a reader insert instead.

It was hard for me to swallow the pill that this event may not be fun for the majority. I knew that having an OC be the MC + canon characters interact with them may be flaky at best (esp the whole OC x Canon being... well. very much a huge "oh dear"), but seeing minimal interaction/interest than my friends were (and people I admire, too. Hi Harmony! o/!!) and realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this just... Made me regret it.

For that, I'd like to say:

I'm so, so sorry that this event failed. I'm very sorry if you guys expected it to be like OLC: about the reader/reader insert format.

I know it's not right for me to apologize, but I feel that I have to. I let all of you down, and I don't want you guys to be disappointed in something that you all don't like to see in this blog.

So I decided that I'll run this event in its own blog, but here's the thing.

I don't know if I should keep Yesterday in the blog.

I have to open up a poll for this, so here's the options you guys have for it's fate:

If you guys want it to be a reader insert game (aka you are the main star, not Yesterday), I will set up a menu to BUILD your personal darling.

This means that you guys get to decide how darling will look, the gender, their preferences, and even their job. However, this will be for your darling, and if darling dies, you can't use them anymore.

PROS: This is catered to the reader, and thus, you guys are the ones to choose your own destiny. I won't be the one to decide this time, and if the majority agrees on a specific option, your darling will do just that. This is also more open for variety + reader/canon interaction because I know some of you would have a lot of fun being able to see yourselves in the story.

CONS: When your darling dies, you get the chance to restart. However, the game will continue on with a new darling you guys will have to make and the stats reset to zero. The characters will also mention your past darling, and you'll have to restart from scratch. I still need to tweak this, but just know that it is VERY tricky for you if your first darling dies.

If you guys want it to stay the same (Yesterday is the MC), the format will remain the same.

This means what you witnessed here in the blog WILL happen on the other blog.

PROS: You guys get to either continue or restart with Yesterday's story, and with newfound knowledge, you get to choose more options that were previously unavailable. This also opens up to you all being able to essentially shape Yesterday's outlook + what'll happen to them, because you are the one guiding them to their happy ending.

CONS: This one does not offer a restart like the reader insert (one try only), and this could result to another "this'll flop because many people aren't interested". We've seen it happen here, so please decide wisely.

If you guys want BOTH, the format will be different as you have the option to build a darling (reader insert) or stick to Yesterday's story.

This means there will be a new system for both options to be available, alongside new menus!

PROS: You guys get to have a chance of an 'easy route' or 'hard route' and all of you can use your experience/s to get your desired ending for either one <3 go crazy lol

CONS: If you choose one of the two options for both, the latter will be locked. That's the only consequence I have for this one tbh.

So yes, I'd like to say thank you, and sorry for the fail of Flawed on this blog. I wish I could give you all the quality like in OLC, but there were... Too many things to consider. Sobs.

If you guys still want to continue, please lmk. I worked hard on Flawed and I still want to continue, but this time, its a permanent event and will be on my own pace.

Thank you for your support. Again. And I'll see you guys next time (be it a random fic or the next event <3)

[caluski]

hiiiii taking a few commissions after a long break :-) ! Closed for now!

not an emergency or anything but i want to replace my broken speaker and felt like it was a good opportunity to practice drawing again and avoiding spending my savings away!

OFFERING:

portraits in the length of headshots and busts! this time no full-body or 3/4th or whatever, i dont feel confident enough in them so it would be fun for no one. i can do anyone human/human-looking, ocs, fanart, portraits based on irl photos etc. black and white or full color, with simple backgrounds. i can consider more complicated requests but that would also come with an appropriately raised price!

usual format: about 1000x1000px! but if theres any specific preferences, just lmk

WON'T DO:

animals, furry (unless its like single features like ears or tails and other basic stuff like that), gore (mild elements like blood and whatnot shouldn't be an issue tho), detailed backgrounds

DISCLAIMER:

paid upfront, no refunds with the sole exception of me being unable to finish the request.

PRICES in PLN: 20/25/30/40

and in case of any other currencies we can just discuss it privately!

PAID VIA PAYPAL/BLIK ONLY / contact outside tumblr: babycaprisn@gmail.com

BELOW a few examples for colored portraits and b&w sketches:

and more examples in my drawing tag & archive tag from my previous blog!

any other details can be discussed in my DMs/askbox :-)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Adulting 101: How Jobs work

I feel like there is a LOT of terrible advice on the internet about getting a job, working a job, and leaving a job. So I am going to give some real advice that will help you out in the long run.

Welcome to Adulting 101

So for this I will be discussing the Core tenants

Getting a Job

Working the Job

Leaving the Job

and

The Farewell

(Note this is mainly for work in the Corporate sector but I can assure that applicable information can be applied to other Job areas.)

Getting a job

So you are fresh out of college, and now you realize those student loans arent gonna be paid by the government after all. So what are you going to do?

The answer is get a Job.

But how are you going to get one?

1. Connections:

-If you havent already, start with creating a Linkedin account and try to connect with every person you have ever met, especially if you are going into the field of work with the individuals.

After that, try searching LinkedIn for every person that is in a high position in the field you want to start your career. Most won’t respond, but some will and that is good for you.

Most people in the corporate world that get interviews for their first job with good companies are usually through connections. Leverage family, friends, old employment, old internships, etc.

-I also recommend staying in touch with your Alma mater, professors are usually people with connections and if they like you can help pull some strings. But if not, the school usually will have some sort of program that will help you get your first job. Though not all colleges have it, but its best to check.

-Always avoid sales jobs. Now some sales jobs are fine and legit, but its usually gonna end with the company taking the list of people you know and selling to them before tossing you aside. It burns your friends and Family’s good will. Thats usually the reason why at least once in your life you will have someone from high school reaching out to you about ‘A product or service’.

-Nurture the network. You want people to like you enough to recommend you for jobs, especially this early on. Your experience is garbage and you have no negotiating power. Unless you are from an Ivy league school and have a 4.0. You have no value in the eyes of the company alone. So your best bet is to lean on people you know.

2. Resume

-For the love of crap, work on your resume. Doesnt matter how good your connections are, if you made your resume out of crayon you are screwed. Take time to format it, look up some how to guides, ask some people you know how they worked their resume. It is not fun, but it is important. Resumes are what get people in the door in a lot of cases. The best resumes on online applications are filtered based on how close they fit the job description.

-Make sure to keep that resume updated and easy to edit so you can alter it to match a job description better. This is a trick to help improve the odds of selection.

-Same thing but with Linkedin, there are recruiters on Linkedin and other sites that search for canidates. Most of them are sales jobs, but some arent and you can leverage them if possible

-Since this is on Tumblr, I’m going to tell you this upfront, don’t put your pronouns in your resume. I was talking with a recruiter and that’s a thing they use to filter out so most online applications won’t see it. Mainly cause it’s seen as Filler and stuff like this will be addressed later.

3. Certifications and internships

-When you are new in the workforce, you will need ANYTHING to differentiate you from the crowd, having a certification in whatever is needed in your field is always a bonus. Granted these cost cash to get into, so this is more of a last resort when you are looking for your first job.

-Internships after college are often seen as a bit tough to manage since they usually dont pay as much as a real job (depending on the state or country, at all), but if one is unable to get a job, this is a ticket to building a network.

4. The Interview

-All of that work from the previous 3 subjects have led you to this moment, your interview. Now this is a make or break it moment and it is important to understand the following:

*Is this a multiround interview? (Will there be more than one?)

*Who am I interviewing with (The interviewer, the company, and for what job)

*What is the purpose of the interview? (Is this a formality? A job description?)

-Now it is crucial to know your resume inside and out. You need to speak to what you know. So be sure to know it well.

-Always answer in a way that puts you in a more positive light. But dont try the “My greatest weakness is working too hard” they can smell that bulls*** a mile away. If you had to describe a negative, make it seem like you are working to fix it. This demonstrates you can look at yourself objectively and makes it seem like you are more of a genuine person. My go too response is “I have a habit of hyper focusing on a task until it is complete, but I have been working on focusing on what has the highest priority.”

-At the end of the interview, make sure to have questions prepared to ask the interviewer, and dont ask about salary. (Salary is asked after the job is offered, and usually you will usually hear about the salary range before going in, or the official number AFTER they give the offer). My go to question is asking “What are three traits someone would need to have to thrive in this position?” But do try and think of your own

-Dont be nervous, remember that this will likely not be the only interview you will have, especially with how desperate people are to get workers. So you will get a few. Just do your best, you got this.

_______________________________________________________________________

Working the Job

You did it, all that hardwork and dedication had paid off, you got your first job.

Or maybe this is your second job. But most importantly, its work with a salary. The most tedious part is over, next is where the real work begins.

1. Adjusting to work

This period of time will you learning all you can about your job, this is the 30-60-90. AKA, the Trial period.

Show up a bit early and leave a bit later (unless your commute is over an hour. Then you just try to be as close to on time as possible.)

Your first 30 days is you finding out where everything is, how it works, who you interact with to get work done, and find the bathroom. This is where the expectations for you as an employee are at their most lenient. Dont take this as a rest opportunity, You are meant to learn as much as possible about how to do your job. (also connect with all the people on your team on Linkedin)

The next 30 days are your real test. Likely will be given your first real assignment if it wasnt given already. This is where you need to knock it out of the park. Crush that first assignment. Show everyone you are a pleasure to work with, Be compassionate yet driven. This is the ‘Prove yourself phase’

The last 30 days is the “Dealmaker” here is where you get to show your impact on the company. Your work must be consistent and must be solid. You can be allowed some error, but dont focus too much on it. This is where you show what you learned and are a part of the company. After you make it past this stage, you are likely to not have to worry about being fired. That doesnt mean your safe. It just means you are officially a part of the company.

-Now from here on out this is your chance to grow in however you want. Do you have ideas that you think would make things better? Give them a go, try discussing them with your boss, see what he/she thinks of them. You think there is a sector of the company you would work better in, use this position as an opportunity to grow closer and maybe transfer. Just be sure to keep your work consistent

2. Time to excel

So this is where you start career building. You want to make the big money. You want to be strong and independent with the fat stacks? You gotta work bitch.

You gotta take initiative, when there is an opportunity to shine to the higher ups, take it. Not every opportunity will be given. But sometimes there are ones that are gift wrapped.

Do NOT over extend yourself.

This is important, yes you want to stand out, but over extending yourself just to impress can cause your original work to suffer. You need to know your limits. And be willing to ask for help when needed.

Don’t talk smack about your boss, or other coworkers.

In the game of office politics, you never want to give someone an opportunity to make you look bad. Be respectful, and keep any complaints or issues you have with someone objective.

Take responsibility. Don’t try and blame others when something fails. Own up to it and ask for ways to improve. That shows character and in the game of career building, that’s a solid way to show you are capable and bold.

____________________________________________

Leaving a job

So you find yourself working at this job and you realize. I hate it here. Now the first instinct is to quit and figure it out later. Or the term “Quiet Quitting” which is doing the bare minimum required and ride it out. Let me correct this by showing you what to do.

Figure out the Why.

Why do you hate your job now? It’s actually the simplest step. Usually boiling down to the following

1. My boss sucks.

Most employees end up quitting their jobs because of their boss. Either they are critical, take credit for your work, blame you for their mistakes, make you work late. Preventing you from taking vacation. Or insert specific reason here.

If the boss is the only reason you hate the job, then this is where you can start by requesting transfers to other areas of the company. Make an effort to find someone you wouldn’t mind working under, or find a way to show that your boss is violating your rights and agreements. If you can get a recording or emails to show to HR, than you can find ways of dealing with the horrible boss. Though if all else fails, then it’s time to consider leaving.

2. You need higher pay

If your company doesn’t give pay raises, and you find yourself not progressing a more favorable direction, then it’s time to discuss with your boss your concerns. Now if your boss is reasonable and not like a boss from reason 1, they will likely take into account the work you do and try to get you the raise.

But that’s only if you are working hard. Demanding more money but not doing anything more than what the job is asking won’t net you a pay raise unless you are exceeding expectations. In truth most companies would like to not lose workers, so voicing a concern would be a good way to get more cash.

Though if you are working hard and going above and beyond yet still not getting the money you deserve. It’s time to search for a place that will. Don’t quit yet, find the new job first and than leave.

It’s common curtesy to let the company know with a two week notice. That’s mainly so you don’t entirely burn connections. If you don’t care about the company, just quit.

Side note, and THIS IS CRUCIAL

If your company hears you are leaving and tries to match it. DONT take it. It’s a ploy. They will look for your replacement as soon as you accept the deal. They know you are finicky and looking. If you accepted a job offer, DONT BACK OUT.

3. This is not the career I want

You realize that this just isn’t where you want to be for the next couple of years. That’s fine. In fact, good on you for recognizing that you aren’t content with your work. But that begs the question, what Do you want.

At this time, stay working while you do research. No need to quit if you don’t know what it is you want. Maybe you want to be focused on different things but still in the same company. Transfers are more common and it’s easier to move and employee than lose one. So if you like where you work but not what you do, maybe see what other options there are in house before leaving.

But if you really want to go after something then find yourself peeping for that path. And when you are ready to go, then quit. Be polite and cordial. It wasn’t them it’s you. A two week notice would be the polite thing in this case.

The Farewell

Things aren’t working out with your current job and you’ve decided it’s time to leave. Ensure the following.

1. You have another opportunity lined up

2. You connected with everyone worth while

3. You have your letter/email of resignation ready to go

Now if your opportunity has a time before it starts. Great time for quiet quitting. You are basically out the door, you can take it easy. So enjoy these last moments before you leave and get ready for the next step in life.

____________________________________________

Thank you for reading my advice column on how to properly Navigate work.

And if things work out, remember what you read.

Life may not always perfectly line up, but there is a right way of approaching it.

Best of luck

(Note: This does not guarantee that all will go according to plan but it is the building blocks of what Is important)

[the-yoru-whoru]

Phoenix x reader | Big brother | inc*st | rough | slight angst and comfort | adopted sister | dead dove do not eat | suggestive | if u don’t like inc*st…. DONT READ LOL | I thought this might be a little much for a return fic but... i wanted to write it lol | also this was originally in bullet point format, so it might read a bit weird at some points, apologies

“Shhh!” Phoenix whisper-yells at you, a panicked expression on his face.

The loud music outside is muffled by the wooden walls of the closet, and although it's dark, light seeps through the cracks of the door, giving you just enough vision to see your brother's heavily flushed face, the tousled locks of his hair falling messily into his face.

He's leaned over your small figure, and although you fit into the closet just barely, he's struggling to even maneuver himself inside the cramped space, broad shoulders hunched over uncomfortably just to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling.

You just giggle at his frantic behavior, squirming around to lightly tap him on his head with an open hand.

“You’re the one making the most noise, big bro,” You say teasingly, trailing another hand down his chest with your index finger, "Plus, I really really really wanna meet your friends!"

You try to push past him to the exit of the closet, eager to see the lively party beyond the closed doors.

Suddenly, Pheonix grabs your hand roughly, pinning it back against the wall of the closet with a loud thud.

You make a squeak of surprise, but his other large hand comes up too, covering your mouth completely as you stare up at your brother, shocked.

He seems a little stunned as well, as if his body had moved on its own, but he gathers himself and stares down at you sternly as he leans you up against the closet back, effectively walling you in.

"Listen, I can't believe you followed me out tonight–I mean, come on! You know Mom and Dad are gonna friggin' murder me if they find out you went to a party, even more so if you meet my friends!"

You blink up at him, confused, trying to talk but still unable to speak under his firm grip.

Pheonix loosens his hand to let you speak, and you can't help but protest.

"But why not? All you ever do nowadays is hang out with your new friends, shouldn't I get to meet them at least once?"

But your brother only shakes his head, looking even more stressed. Your eyes linger on the bead of sweat that drips down his temple.

"No no no–it's different, alright?" You hate when he uses that tone of voice on you, "Mom and Dad don't like my friends, you know that. And they sure as hell don't want their only daughter to be hanging out with some bad influences."

You can hear laughing outside the closet, a male talking to a girl about knives or something.

Pheonix is still staring at you intently, body not moving an inch as restrains your movement.

"So I'm just supposed to stay home alone and be a good girl every day?" You say, hurt creeping into your voice, "While you get to go out and have fun every night? Nowadays, I never even get to see you anymore, every time I try to hang out you just avoid me!”

When the two of you were younger you used to be like best friends; Phoenix had always done right to treat you like his real little sister, and you remember always being able to come to him for anything and everything. It was a far cry from how he acted towards you nowadays.

“Just admit it already—admit that you hate me and you’re too embarrassed to let your new cool friends meet your loser, little sister! "

You want to say more but Phoenix slams his hand into the wall behind you, shaking the whole tiny closet. The outside party quiets confusedly for a second, before growing again.

The male leans into you darkly, his usually energetic demeanor uncharacteristically somber.

His eyes haven’t moved from you this whole time, and now his stare is downright intense, his gaze making you want to fidget but you dared not to move.

His body seems to radiate extreme heat, and for a moment he doesn’t say a word, face flashing with expressions of regret and anger.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything. He simply kisses you.

His mouth is warm and slightly salty, and you’re frozen in shock as he moves his lips over yours.

His voice rumbles lowly in his throat as the hand gripping your wrist tightens painfully.

It’s like the party, the noise, and even the closet surrounding you have just melted away, and all you can think is: holy shit, my brother is kissing me.

When he finally pulls away, it takes a moment for you to gather yourself, and you can only stare at him slack-jawed as he struggles to catch his breath, chest heaving with every intake of air as if he’d run a marathon.

It’s silent between the two of you before he finally breaks the silence.

“I could never hate you,” Phoenix is so serious he almost seems like a different person, but there’s still a familiar edge of nervousness in his voice you’re just able to catch, “I know my friends would love you if they met you. That’s exactly why I don’t want you meeting them.”

You shiver at his next words, “I don’t want to have to share you with anyone. I won’t.”

“Because you’re mine, lil sis.”

You can’t think straight, all you can do is stare at him dumbly as you try to think of what to say, try to ignore the leap in your chest as he speaks.

You must be taking too long because his serious look begins to soften into panic as you remain silent, his body beginning to retreat slightly in worry. But you don’t want him to leave you again.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” His face contorted into regret, “I shouldn’t have said anything, I just—!”

You cut him off with your own lips, having to pull him down and tip-toe in order to kiss him forcefully until his protests die on his tongue.

When you pull away, his eyes look even hungrier, and the warmth from his body is almost too much to bear, but you don’t get a say before he’s shoving you against the wall with his whole weight, your body pressed up tightly against him as he grips onto your wrists roughly and full on groans, lips finding your lips again and kissing you deeply this time, his touch scorching hot against your skin.

You can barely contain your own moans, still aware in the back of your mind of the people who still surround the two of you, trying desperately not to make a squeak as your older brother desperately pokes and prods against your mouth with his own thick tongue like a man starved.

Until you feel something below stir against you, and then you can’t contain the yelp of surprise that escapes you.

Everything is so unbearably hot, every breath you take just smells like Pheonix, a slightly ashy, sweaty scent that has your head swirling.

Somehow you know he’s wanted this for a long time because of the way he grips and touches every part of you desperately, an eagerness in his touch you’ve never seen before, but only felt in his eyes in the past. Everything seemed to click into place the more your brother felt you in places that should have been forbidden; why he suddenly seemed so distant, why he hesitated to do things the two of you used to do previously.

Phoenix finally pauses in his frantic touching to pull back slightly, eyes taking in the sight of you in front of him, lips flushed and messy, clothes wrinkled and ruffled.

“Are you… Okay?” He pants out, and you can’t help but giggle.

“I’m more than okay,” You say teasingly.

You savour the way Pheonix’s face breaks into a relieved smile, teeth glinting white in the dark closet.

“Whew,” He breathes, and his intense expression has lifted, replaced by his usual easiness as he looks at you adoringly.

The two of you don’t say a word about how wrong this is, don’t dare to even think of how you’ll handle this in the future, but when Pheonix brings you in firm embrace and kisses the top of your head, all you do is sigh contently, happy to finally have your brother back.

Word count : 1433

[azsazz]

Do you have any tip for new tumblr writers? I’ve wrote on other apps like Ao3 and wattpad but never on tumblr so id appreciate any tips you have!

Hi! Yes, I have some tips you can look at here:

Writing Tips

Writing Smut

Series Tips

And here are some suggestions/tips for posting on tumblr!

Most people have (as you can see on my blog) a masterlist, which is a collection of all of the fics they post. These can be formatted anyway you want (mine is currently by character), and it includes all of the links to each fic. This is a great way for whoever comes to your blog to easily see all of your work!

You're going to want to tag your posts, similarly to ao3, at the bottom of your posts. obviously, this is also completely optional. for example, if i write an azriel fic, i usually go with the tags: azriel x reader, azriel/reader, acotar, azriel, etc. you can also just put whatever you want down here like your thoughts, etc. tags will help boost your post and then you post will show up when someone searches all of tumblr for that category, so wherever you want it to show up, tag it as that.

I HIGHLY suggest using a "read more/keep reading" drop if your post gets too long because a pet peeve of mine is scrolling through a post that's so long and i just keep having to scroll and scroll and scroll lol. (like above)

i usually write my fics in a doc outside of tumblr so i have it somewhere else and because i dont trust tumblr that much lol. super easy to just copy and paste it over.

a lot of writers start their works with headings, as i'm sure you've seen around. mine are all pretty consistent looking, i'll attach a pic.

^ so here i have my title, who the pairing is, and the summary, warnings, and word count, and then a break after to where the story begins. i normally add the first 2-3 paragraphs of the fic and then add a "read more." Sometimes I'll add a notes section under word count. these are all optional! I put word count because i know some people don't want to read super long fics or the opposite. i've seen people use images/gifs and other headers, so feel free to get as creative as you want with your posts! that's what makes it a lot more fun than ao3 haha.

ummmm that's all i can think of off of the top of my head...but thanks for asking! you can also check my blog for the tag azsazz writing tips and all of the asks/posts i've tagged with tips will show up!

i hope this helps! 💙

[faaarawayyy]

hai!!

i’m bea/benrey! either name is good!

my pronouns include but r not limited to hey/hem/heir, she/her, and he/him. you can find all my pronouns and how to use them here!

i label myself nonbinary and dolphinygender but im rly just a creature ^_^ also aroace and platonically objectum!

i am a minor, and i have autism and adhd, so please keep these in mind when interacting with me! nsfw/18+ blogs please dni for both our comforts

i have tons of interests but i am especially fixated currently on dungeons and dragons, spore, kirby, rain world, and all my own ocs!! my biggest spinterest will always be in marine life/the ocean, i have my #marautism tag for all that stuff

i also post my own art here! most of it is of my ocs but maybe sometimes ill post misc fandom stuff if i ever feel like making fanart!

i don’t have a strict dni rly cuz i just block n move on casually but just, i feel it should be fairly obvious that youre not welcome here if youre a bigot or a proshipper or a zionist or just super nasty!! stay far away from me tyyy

anyway. beside that. tags and other blogs beneath cut and have fun here!! feel free to interact in any way i dont bite!! peace n love

@tmd-clangen | my clangen story blog! post-apoc horror and challenge-based, be aware it contains lots of dark themes

@delfinxxia | currently inactive artblog lol. i may repurpose it someday? idk but it’s there

@recoveryranger | also inactive pokeblr blog. idk when ill get back into it haha

misc. notes

my content warnings are formatted like the following example: #cws #blood #death (etc). common ones likely will be: blood, gore, death/animal death, eyestrain. if you need anything more specifically tagged, feel free to send in an ask stating what you’d like tagged, anon or not!

my oc art is not free use but any of my fandom art may be used for noncommercial and/or personal reasons with credit! (ex. using my art as pfp)

i don’t usually do requests, art trades, or commissions, but i’ll post if this is something that happens at any point

tag guide

#clicksnsqueaks - just me saying stuff

#textbubbles - misc. textposts not said by me

#reblog - self-explanatory

#ask - asks i’ve received and answered! i’ll tag your username too but you can also request me not to

#ask game and #tag game - if i rb ask games or get tagged in something

#others’ art - self-explanatory, art that other people have made

#friend art - also self-explantatory, art from my friends/mutuals :>

#important - things that are. well. important. serious posts only

#4me - stuff that was made for me, gifts/commissions/etc.!

#4later - resources and compilation posts usually, might tag them specifically with #art resources or #life stuff as well

#fav - stuff i REALLY like

#mecore - things that r just. mecore. yknow

#me-tagged - stuff my friends/mutuals tagged for me YAAAY

#inspiration - awesome stuff that makes me feel inspired

#silly - stuff i think is funny

#wholesome - stuff i think is cute or nice or uplifting

art-specific tags

#my art - self-explanatory!

#srb - occasional reblogs of my own work

#my ocs - also self-explanatory! contains all original characters of mine, fandom or not. #oc: [oc name] tags will also be added for specific characters, and fandom tags if they apply

#others’ ocs - for other peoples’ characters that i’ve drawn

#fanart - art i make of characters from any media! fandoms and individual characters will be tagged

[pippuns]

Youve made me curious, what's Tai Sui about? What's the appeal 👀👀

LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE APPEAL ANON!!

tai sui is an absolutely fantastically written steampunk xianxia novel that acts as a deconstruction of the xianxia genre!! if you like detailed world building, questions about the cost of immortality, what makes a god, and identity, themes about environmentalism, class, autonomy, the power of names, and just incredible levels of emotional damage (broken up by the funniest and most annoying (/affectionate) protagonist around), tai sui is for you!!

which is to say. this novel was engineered to make me specifically absolutely lose it LOL

i kept on trying to make this post both coherent and not long and i have given up. here is a bunch of words of me yelling about how much i love tai sui below the page break.

TAI SUI IS SO!!! MY BRAIN!!! ITS BEING REWRITTEN!!!

there is literally no one in the main cast i dont like. they're all so funny in their own ways and so likeable!! I genuinely have such a difficult time picking my favorite character in tai sui because they're all so interesting and well-written, and i love seeing them interact with each other

part of this absolutely has to do the protagonist, xi ping, who is just the funniest man around. he's also the most annoying and i want to see him crushed like a bug (/affectionate). he's really good at bouncing off of other characters, and i love seeing him drag other folks into Problems and Situations and just being a general force of chaos and mayhem in the world

it's also really good that he's so funny and lighthearted because tai sui has some really tragic moments!! it gets fucking sad!! i've cried multiple times and i don't usually cry at media!! i only just finished book three!!

tai sui is also really good at writing women!! i love tai sui women so much. i don't really have much more to say about this but like. gender and wlw win <3

another thing tai sui does that i like a lot is zoom out to focus on the ways the events of the novel are affecting ur average day folks. when i say ''tai sui is about class and environmental issues'' i mean they don't just like, say it in the narration and then not elaborate on it. we explicitly see how people are being affected by the way the world is governed and the hardships they are forced to live through. it's not really left to your imagination.

but something i also really really like is that while priest does show the hardship that characterizes the lives of the people, they also show the ways in which people struggle to live on regardless.

tai sui is about tragedy in a lot of ways, but it's not a tragedy they take lying down, and it's not like people don't find their own moments of happiness in spite of the hard lives they live. which is really important to me!! its something i genuinely appreciate from the narration so much!! yes, life is hard. yes, things are difficult. and yes, people find a way to continue on regardless!!!!

PUNCHES A WALL. IM SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT TAI SUI.

ALSO THE NARRATION IS SO GORGEOUS??? LIKE HELLO??? IM LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH THE PROSE. EATS IT WHOLE LIKE IM A BURMESE PYTHON. or uh. like im going out to a gyro place with my friends and i get so focused on eating the food that i don't notice that i'm eating the sandwich paper wrap until a fair amount of it is chowed down haha :')

i also mentioned this a little on my side twitter but the way tai sui is formatted is also really fun to me. like. it feels like a tv show with the way the scenes change and the cliff hangers the chapters end on sometimes. which is why it really doesn't feel like its 900k words. you just keep going and then BOOM ur done with a book. the real reason im doodling my way through this novel is to force myself to go slow. bc otherwise i would have finished it in a week (there is something wrong with me).

anyways please read tai sui

[winds-of-change-zine]

Application QnA!

If accepted, would it be possible to be credited with a pen name not associated with ones’ tumblr account/common @ handles upon zine publication? *Wanting to participate with a specific character zine, however, remain unaffiliated with the media/fandom it resides from.

Yes! Once you make it to the zine (If you do) You can aska moderator if it's possible to go by a different pen name! We will gladly help you.

Will there be an overarching theme of the zine that my piece should fit in with?

Nope! We have decided that this year it will NOT have any themes. Perhaps next year!

I have a lot but what I'm most curious about are specifics! Stuff that I would only need to worry about IF accepted. Any specific Morro design? Canvas size? How complicated/how many items would the drawing need?

The zine won't need a specific morro design! It is to celebrate and show love for a character in the fandom, so, fanon designs will be accepted. If you make it, our server will have specifics on what your piece will need regarding the layouts! Lastly, the drawing will have to be a fully rendered piece (No sketches, Lineart, or incomplete pieces) and will need at least a simple background.

Will there be an option to buy a print of the zine? I think that'd be awesome!

The zine will be free and ONLINE ONLY! We will see if next year we are able to make it a physical but for now it is a full on passion prject and experiment.

How would sending the image go? Would I be sending it to you via email?? Do u have a preferred image format (jpeg,png, etc)?

We will have a google Drive folder that will be open for our contributors to drop off their pieces. Also, PNG or PDFs will be the onky ones acceptable!

The zine Tumblr has lost of q&a but is there a specific link to a applicant rule sheet I'm missing & am I correct under the presumption that the zine is free & just for fun of it?

Yes the zine is free and just for people to enjoy, it was also made as a first zine gig for those who have never joined one.

how long do comics tend to be in these kind of zines? As this would be my first zine, I don't really have a point of reference. I can make my pitch work for any length but just wondering what is typical anyway :)

We are allowing people to let their comics be as long as needed. But, usually regular zines will let you do a 3-4 page comic!

For page artists, are we allowed to make multiple pieces? Also would it be possible to make a physical zine in the future? Thank you for this opportunity!

For now we are allowing ONE piece per contributor! And lastly, it might be alot more difficult to make a physical in the future as we might need more moderators, but only time will tell and we shall see!

Thats all for now, thank you so much for your questions! If you have anymore dont be shy to ask away.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Dancer anon advice

Hi all! Someone wrote me about some advice, I'm just copy and pasting it here so I can add a 'read more' line and format it a bit differently than usual so I can keep my thoughts in order!

Italics is their writing

Bold is mine

i noticed ppl were using this blog to ask about stuff, so here goes ig?

(also im sorry this was going to be me asking about gender stuff but now its just kinda my life story 😭 if you dont want to answer this, you can just write a post saying like. dancer anon i dont feel comfortable answering this or whatever)

Ahhhh, you all need to stop apologizing! I never mind helping!

im afab, and i feel like i never really fit in with gender? like, i would always be so jealous of my feminine friends but i didnt feel good when dressing feminine myself

i also take dance classes (i started at around 6/7) and i felt like i had to wear all the skirts and shit because i wanted to be pretty like the other dancers, and i felt really terrible after a few years of that, because i hated how i looked in them and how i looked when i danced

(i also used to have a dance teacher whos hands were always cold and thats all i can remember about him but i really hated dancing with him and would get relieved when classes were over. ive hated dancing with boys/men ever since)

and it got like. really bad. i believe? (my memory is actually terrible. i cant remember anything for the life of me, so it could be my mind overexaggerating, but anyways.)

i would always ask for me and my teacher to just do stretching because i hated how i looked when i danced because i hated the skirts and everything because i hate my legs and how they look when bare. i hated attending dance classes because people would see me and see my legs and see how i looked and i felt terrible all the time (i think i was around 9 or 10 at this age?)

so one day i had a whole crying fit and my dance teacher told me that i dont have to wear skirts or whatever, i can wear pants and shit (i was so fucking relieved. istg. i now wear skirts to dance only like. couple times a year maybe)

and then soon enough covid happened! (also keep in mind that i grew up like. really sheltered. i did not know what gay people/transgender people were until i read fanfiction about warrior cats 😭)

and i was so delighted! because on distance learning, no one would see me and be able to judge me for how i dress or whatever

at around this time, my fear of everyone masculine really grew. its still there. im fucking terrified of all men. i cant help it. like every boy man masculine person. i get so scared. i hate it. i hate it so much

but then covid came to a halt, yk, school started again .-. i felt like shit, honestly. i didnt have ANY clothes i felt comfortable in. my hair felt too long and "feminine" and i wanted to cut it for the longest time. my clothes made me feel terrible. i hated how the leggings would wear on my legs and how my sweaters would show my body shape and how my butt looked (i still really hate how it looks. why is it big. i dont want it to be i hate it so much)

yeah so there i am, feeling dysphoric as shit (i did not know what that was, back then, by the way, but i believe thats what i was feeling)

didnt help that my only friend was a toxic, lying, manipulating bitch who led people on for fun and always expected everyone to worship at her feet

after a while, i discovered different labels! (bisexual was the first label i had for myself. i felt good with it, ig?)

and then i got to the gender situation. i used so many girl alligned terms because i was so scared of being percieved as the very thing i am terrified of (masculine ppl). i went through demigirl, girlflux, genderfae, genderfluid, i beleive, maybe somethign else too, because i wanted to stay connected to being a girl.

Okay so here, I want to ask, what's the reason to wanting to say connected with being a girl? Is it feeling like you are partially a girl? Not wanting to be connected to masculinity? Not wanting to let go of the 'girlhood' that you grew up with? None of these reasons are bad but I think thinking about this more might help you figure out your gender.

around this time i started doing leader steps for dance. the euphoria i felt. please.

ahhhhh wait! I do ballroom, too! I'm a follower, though. what's your favorite? I LOVE tango. Okay, sorry, I got distracted.

found out i was a lesbian, used nonbinary but with she/they pronouns and felt like shit whenever anyone called me she but didnt want to make a big deal about using they

ooo, okay here- asking for your correct pronouns isn't 'making a big deal.' it's asking for what you need and asking for respect.

found out i was aroace because "people actually find video game characters attractive?" 😭

thought i might feel better as a boy? cut my hair. i loved it so much (i still do) (that was may of last year) got baggy clothes. covered up my figure. did leader steps for dance.

over the summer i started using labels such as agender? which i feel like fits me?

anyway, thats the life story part, now for the part about what the fuck am i

i feel like shit whenever im called a girl or refered to with feminine terms. im not sure if it would classify as dysphoria or not, becuase i dont feel /that/ bad about it, but it still ruins my mood and kinda makes me want to cry.

okay so here's the thing. not 'feeling THAT bad' doesn't mean anything. Dysphoria is dysphoria. and this is dysphoria. Just because you're not throwing up in a corner doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

if my grandma calles me granddaughter, girl, whatever in russian, it automatically ruins my mood. makes me feel terrible. i hate it.

i dont feel as bad when my sister calls me her sister, though, for some reason.

Okay! So for me, I hate being called a lady, but I don't mind my wife calling me her wife. Again, this is all completely valid <3

when i get called by she/her i hate it so much. i dont want to make a big deal about asking for they/them - sometimes my friends remeber, sometimes they dont.

ive never tried he pronouns, dont think i want to.

they/them pronouns dont give me that much euphoria either, its just like. ok

Okay! Have you tried neopronouns? If you're not interesting in those, it could just be that they/them is what feels best. And that's okay, too!

another thing. my friend has another nonbinary friend. she always genders them correctly, but almost never me. it makes me feel like shit, like she cares more about getting their pronouns than mine, even though i know that thats not a good mindset and shit.

*loud buzzer sound* wrong. Your friend should be gendering everyone correctly, not just some people. Good friends care about making their friends feel comfortable, and this friend is making you uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable talking to them about it?

also, heres some more on my fear of men because who doesnt love being scared out of their wits irrationally :D

my dance teacher had to leave to go back to where she lives, so they gave me a male teacher (i tend to only have female ones.)

i would be in tears every lesson. i felt like shit. (also i hate the sound of peoples voices and he would always be talking and i hate it so much because his voice, amongst others, is one of the ones that hurts my ears the most.) i even went to my mom to ask her for a change which helped ig? my new teacher is really nice and i love her so,,, yeah

Okay, I want to stop here to say- a lot of this has to do with gender, right? But this particular response seems to be rooted in trauma. Without prying too much, I am wondering if there is something that happened with a man or masculine-presenting person or people? You do NOT have to share with me, but this might be something to explore with a trusted person in your life. I mean, there is a chance it's gender-related, but in the most loving way, there seems to be something deeper going on here.

anyway, you dont have to answer this, i was going to just ask for help with labels and feeling like theres no correct label for me (i use agender now, for simplicity, because i dont feel connected to having a gender at all)

So I guess my question is, how do you feel about the agender label? When I looked up the definition, it seems to be defined as exactly what you described- someone not having a gender at all.

Also, remember that your gender identity and expression are two different things! You can identify as agender (or any of the other things you mentioned) and still choose to dress however feels most comfortable and use whatever pronouns feel most comfortable. There are no set rules except: do what feels most genuine and comfortable!

if you do want to answer this but dont want to use this large of an ask on your blog, just call me dancer anon, i will see and understand 👍

again, sorry for dumping all of this on you

ahhhhhhh don't be sorry, you are a wonderful human!

have a wonderful day

you, too! please message me if you want to talk more! <3

[bittersweetblasphemy]

what made you decide to have a go at making zines, and how did you find the process? fun? frustrating? new hobby unlocked?

it's been a lot of fun and is super satisfying to hold a finished booklet in my hand. new hobby unlocked for sure.

in fact i'm going to ramble about it under the cut.

i'd been looking into on and off for over a year, and, frankly, i've been going slowly mad at having normal levels of focus and productivity dangled in front of me, only to be snatched away AND put on bed rest without even jacking off as an outlet.

i did a bunch of painting, but i've run out of canvases and focus. and while i really wanna sculpt, 1) i just haven't gotten my brain to switch to that track, 2) i've only just recently been able to tolerate standing at my usual work counter again, 3) having a small child who wants to mirror everything i do is fun when i'm physically able to handle it, but i am not physically able to handle it. i can do a craft myself OR i can set them up with supervised craft time. not both.

that leaves my writing, but i haven't been able to focus enough to write. so what to do with all my old stuff? may as well take that last leap into making zines! it's also an excuse for me to break out my drawing tablet to make cover art (i'm not good but they're small and it adds to the charm i think).

overall it's been shockingly easy. the hardest part was making a format template, but once i had that figured out i was set. i conveniently already had a laser printer, and considering i can't go anywhere (like a place with a public printer) i wouldn't have been able to do this otherwise.

the most expensive thing i had to buy for this was a nice paper cutter, which was $24. it honestly wasn't necessary. i could have just folded the paper or cut them with scissors, but imo it really goes a long way in making them look nice. i also have a long reach stapler that's made for making booklets and magazines coming in that will be really nice for putting them together neatly and consistently.

i still dont know what i'm going to do with them tbh. i have some friends that are gonna get free copies of their favs, and at least the poetry one i'm going to have out if i'm able to do the craft fairs this year (fuck me i hope i'm better by then), but i need to see what kind of stuff they allow. even if they allow sexually explicit material, i'll probably still leave stories like Red Hot at home.

i could do an online shop for the rest, but i'm not sure where. i already have a kofi account for commissions, and they have a shop feature, but at the same time they say in their TOS they don't allow any form of sexually explicit material. and last i heard about etsy they were being shitty about charging for advertising you didn't opt into. so i'd need to do more research into that.

say what you want about whether or not i should be able to make a profit off of little homemade porn booklets, but i'd at least need enough money to buy the toner for my printer by the time i ran out, which is hella expensive. i think back when i got this thing it was like $70 a pop. it lasts a lot longer than ink but it's more expensive up front.