#also everyone at the hospital who told me to stop screaming in pain. fuck them too.

[scorndotexe]

now that i'm home and in moderate pain that isn't helped by the painkillers i get to repeat my favorite joke!

ah yes my favorite kind of painkillers. the ones that don't work.

[alchemist-shizun]

MYATB ep 11 commentary

LETS GOOOOOO, live reaction because i was at work for 6 hours right when the episode released!! enjoy me going insane

Xiaobao my son he's all grown up and trying to go about this the smart way, trying to convince Su Yin with logical reasons, he's amazing. Though Su Yin not wanting to listen to him breaks my heart, I MEAN THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIM I THOUGHT HE WOULD COMPLY :(

i dont know what it is about them telling the horses to go but it's so fucking funny each time I hear it.

WhATS THIS RANDOM MURDER AOOO these strangers are bloodthirsty

the flying was incredibly off but it's fine we love this terrible green screen it makes it better <3

shaoyu appearing there menacingly, thank you

wdym he must get the crimson dahlia before he dies, DO U WANT TO KILL HIM AFTER AR EU NOT EVEN GONNA MAKE THE EFFORT well you know what su yin, well played, slay, I'd also be that lazy

"do you believe everything people say?" THANK YOU SIMING MY ONLY MAN EVER.

oh my god que siming stayed too much with jinbao now he's starting to lose braincells again

OOO SU YIN GAVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER??

HUAIEN!!!!!

HUAIEN WHAT THE FUCK. NOW YOURE BOTH POISONED.

"Can you save him?" "of course I can" QUE SIMING THE ONLY MAN EVER, ONCE MORE.

It's killing me how Huai'en is incredibly elated that Xiaobao is worried about him and is not in the slightest caring about the fact that he's poisoned

omfg don't tell me the side couple gets together behind the scenes fr I will SCREAM.

Why can't gay people be normal it's always "I love u so much I want to lock you up and never make you leave me ever" or "let me marry your bestie/servant or I will literally destroy you" wtf

"I think you need medical attention" no way que siming just told him he needs to be hospitalized /j su yin please just rest who cares about killing anyone

HAHHAHAHA ZHAOCAI AND XIAOBAO BEING SO SHOOK ABOUT JINBAO'S CONFESSION I love them. dumbasses.

your honor i love him ( #me)

zhaocai is just completely thunderstruck about jinbao's coming out

zhaocai is the token straight in this entire cast, he is revolted and disgusted by gay people and will become homophobic at the first next sight of que siming and I would understand

NOT THE TRANSITION FROM CUTE SCENE TO AGONY.

please stop this madness stop his pain I am going to CRY STOPPPPP

THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL THOUGH. I LOVE ANGSTY SCENES LIKE THIS MAN

theyre both gorgeous and make me feel sad

"If he comes back, what will you do with him" I'm going to kiss him AND U CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BOY

SU YIN JUST SAY YOU HAVE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND GO please

when you ask su yin any relationship advice:

i hope that was not su yin nearly crying because I cannot do this

THE SHADOWS ARE BACK

why do those look nearly like su yins robes, huai'en do u have smth to tell us..

xiaoyu singlehandedly saves the plot

I love xiaoyu because when the guy drops all the lore shes like UNFORTUNATELY I COULDNT CARE LESS

UNFORTUNATELY, HUAI'EN COULDNT CARE LESS EITHER GET THEMMM

me, seeing a strange move: what was that :0 also me seeing a weird fx: ... and what was that-

omfg not shaoyu. shaoyu is gonna get himself fuckin killed

OMFG ENOUGH TWISTS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

what an icon li gongxiang

OH SU YIN AND QUE SIMING ARE HERE??

su yin oh my god. oh my god stop playing the jealous bf please I'm begging u he has two hands

WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE MARRY XIAOBAO ARE U INSANE. -100 AURA POINTS FOR YOU. WHAT EWWW

SROP STOP STOP MY BOY IS CRYING ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LET ME GO CUDDLE HIM PLEASE. PLEASE. WHY MUST U BE THIS CRUEEEEELLLL

"the more I want you the faster I lose you" RIP HUAI'EN YOU WOULDVE DONE NUMBERS ON TUMBLR.

well. that was it. wow what an episode. i thought we weren't going to suffer like tormented ants tonight and here I stand corrected.. i really thought su yin would cave to xiaobao's feelings and turn over a new leaf with huai'en but I guess I was wrong :( I WANT THOSE THREE TO BE HAPPY U DONT GET IT. THEIR DYNAMIC WOULD BE SO TASTY, as I'm sure others have realized

the little twist was nice, i was very sure that Li guy was cooked and instead no. Siming was still a chaos queen, zhaocai a mood, jinbao our beloved idiot and xiaobao victim of many torturous aches, I hope the shadows are okay and me? i just want to throw myself in the river if I cannot enter the screen and hug huai'en immediately. Thank you, see u tomorrow for another one pf these.

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake said: “  you don’t have to come over here and take care of me you know.  i can clean up my own messes.  ” / nick & kass

the tension in his home since nicklas was discharged from the hospital had been nearly thick enough to cut through. so much had happened within the past week and no one had really been able to fully process any of it. everyone was beyond relieved that nick made it out alive despite the horror done to his body, but there was anger bubbling just beneath the surface. it was clear that for nick there was the anger of grant disappearing, anger of his pain and not being able to do things for himself with the state of his hands, of his body -- the loss of control she was witnessing hit a soft spot within kassy. but there was also anger both within her and rev. to think about what happened to him, to think that the man who did this got to just walk away without a scratch.

everyone just wanted to help him as best they could and kassy knew that it was going to be overwhelming and frustrating for nick. but she wasn't going anywhere. he hadn't left her when she had wanted nothing to do with anyone, and she'd be damned if she was going to leave him here to suffer alone after what he had been through.

kassy tried her best not to hover, tried not to let the deep concern leak into her gaze every time she looked at him but god she had been so fucking scared. to hear him screaming out in pain on the other end of the line while the man torturing him taunted them both -- it made her physically sick with rage. and to see the aftermath of what happened to him, every time she let her mind linger on it she felt like she was going to sob all over again. he hadn't deserved this, and now watching him struggle through simple tasks because of the damage to his hands, it wasn't fucking fair.

she watched from the kitchen island in silence as his hands shook trying to get himself a simple glass of water. the glass shook too, water splashing over the edge because of the tremors and she sucked in a sharp breath, rising as she saw the frustration and pain in his face. "nick.." she began softly as she stepped forward when she couldn't take it anymore, but it was too late and the glass slipped from his hands to shatter on the ground, watching as he cursed. "stop. stop, don't move, let me clean this up," she told him as she carefully went to get the dustpan and broom. she saw the defiance in his gaze, the way his scowl deepened and she was honestly afraid he would lash out with his frustration and punch something which would only injure him more.

you don’t have to come over here and take care of me you know.  i can clean up my own messes. he told her flatly and she shook her head. "stop that," she told him with a soft frown, "just let me help you." she knew he wasn't helpless, and that just because he did need help didn't mean he was weak, or any less of the man she knew him to be. she just couldn't bare to watch him hurt himself anymore because she knew he was stubborn enough to stay there in pain for as long as it took to meticulously clean this up himself. kassy also knew there would be a lot of this going forth, and that she shouldn't step in every time, but it was too early, too soon since he'd returned from the hospital, he was going to have to get used to them helping.

she carefully picked up the larger shards of glass first and swept the rest into the dustpan. cleaning up she could feel how uncomfortable he was as if it was heat radiating off him. with the glass cleaned around him and the water mopped up, kassy got him another glass of water, "i know you want to do everything for yourself but the harsh reality is that you can't right now, nick. not without hurting yourself. right now you have to be gentle with yourself, give yourself time to heal." the look in his eyes had her heart squeeze painfully, "i know it's frustrating, baby, i know, but the more you let us help, the quicker your injuries will recover," she told him softly as she reached up to gently stroke his cheek, drawing his gaze back towards her as he had looked away.

"no one here thinks of you any less because of it, you hear me? not alec, or i, or octavia, or rev. now please, come sit down and let me help you." her hand slid along his arm to very hesitantly hold her palm up just under his, leaving a bit of space for whether he would let her gently take it or not. she offered him a reassuring smile with unwavering confidence and adoration for him because as horrible as this all was, she knew he was strong enough to make it through this, and there was not a chance in hell he would be doing so alone.

[pyreflydust]

I do genuinely find therapy helpful most of the time but sometimes it feels like I'm dragging around a bratty teenager who keeps screaming LITERALLY NOTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME EVER WAS TRAUMATIC SHUT THE FUCK UP while I have something that literally everyone who talks to me about it says is a Trauma Reaction

Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of my first psych hospitalization. I keep doubling down on "but it wasn't that bad" (because they didn't drug me.) (because they didn't restrain me.) (because I was only there for three days.)

I was asked if I think about this every year. I do. I don't always have a breakdown, but I'm very Aware of the Date. It helps that this was 2000 and I was obsessed with Eminem. It helped that I had stolen a sticker of him off a teeny bopper magazine at the grocery store. Which sounds like a tangent but

I also think about how old I'm getting and how often that means my care providers are younger than me. I asked the person I was talking about this with earlier how old she was. Rather, I said, "I don't know how old you are, but..." because I was going to make a point about mental health care in 2000. It's got its flaws now, but I was treated so much worse in 2000. That year, she wasn't even 10.

I was 14 years old. I had started cutting myself a few months before and the adults found out. I don't think I had told them that I had already attempted suicide by overdose. Most people will go their entire life without a suicide attempt. I couldn't go fifteen years. (If I can last another four from now, maybe that won't be true anymore.) I don't remember anyone asking why. I remember being told to stop that. Like what I had done was a bad behavior instead of an expression of pain.

The guy from emergency services asked me if I thought I was Britney Spears. I cannot think of a single thing I said or did in the entire history of my mental health treatment up until that point that might've made him think that. I don't know who I thought I was. I was 14 and wanted someone to acknowledge I was suffering.

Instead they strapped me into the back of an ambulance and forced me to lay down the whole time. It was over an hour between my local ER and the hospital they brought me to. I don't remember anything about the ride except that they let me pick the radio station. I picked my favorite rock station at the time, a station that no longer exists. At some point Little Things by Good Charlotte came on.

I was there for three days before my mother felt bad and she and my brother got in my sister's car and they all came to get me. A rare family moment with the four of us, to be honest. We needed to stop at a car shop somewhere in the middle of the trip home because something happened to the brake line that was in urgent need of fixing.

I ask 14 year old me if this counts as traumatic. 14 year old me tells me it doesn't matter if it is or isn't. 14 year old me looks a lot like a gaping open wound when I try to look at him. He's so sure he never mattered and neither should anything that happened to him.

[nvrcmplt]

"I want to go here," Drah stated, pulling some on Maou's arm as he went in the opposite direction that they where walking at the moment. It was noisy on the street these day's but Drah had gotten better about walking around in crowds and not wanting to cling to Maou's body.

"It will be quick I promise!" Drah turned, beaming at Maou as he moved farther away from the other, not really watching where he was waking but getting slightly farther away from him.

"Then we can go get something to eat, I promise." He was going to turn around, though he froze as he did, his body once vibrating with excitement and flashing smiles at Maou paused, as if unsure what to do.

"Ma-" He moved, looking down at his chest, red starting to seep through the white sweatshirt that he was wearing, blue eyes crinkled in confusion before he turned slightly as if looking for whatever struck him before he fell to the ground, a pained sound escaping his lips.

He'd be shot.

He wasn't to tell them no, he wasn't aching or was his back playing up, he was just hungry. So - he might be a little grumpy about it, but who wouldn't be if they were a bear like him? Still, the excitement in Drah's person was growing on him as usual - easy to fall into step. Turning back of their venture towards the food place Maou wanted to get too. Watching Drah ahead, he had taken note of their confidence, their indifference? No, naivety from lack of trust to be outside on their own had grown since they started dating. Meeting Liam once and only once, since they were people that would clash but also not at all speak in the others' presence. Just glare across the room - though Drah was the main reason Maou even stayed for long.

Looking across the way - the people in the masses but still rather empty. Maou didn't need to fight folks to watch where Drah was going, so when he stepped a little further within his excitement, Maou didn't expect him to suddenly stop. Looking over, noises blended in the area but nothing that told him something was wrong. No - not until the heavy scent of iron rose in the air. A gasp from his left, then right - then a scream as Drah's frame fell with red blossoming on the snow-white shirt.

Maou didn't even know when he moved, but he was at Drah's side. Taking hold of his head and holding his frame on his thigh to grip the others face. "Drah!" A loud bellow that made all heads turn, alarm in the surroundings - Maou didn't even need to call the ambulance, he was sure it was on its way, but he knew it wasn't the best place to be. Drah wasn't for a human hospital… Maou's hand moved with great control, covering Drah's chest with his shirt, bunched in his grip. His teeth gritting and gaze raising with a flooding of black iris.

Looking, scenting, waiting for something or someone to make themselves known. How the fuck did this? The bear under his skin was bellowing, clawing to maim that of which harmed his lover. As he heard the blaring sirens and the lights in the corner of his eye - he looked down upon his lover and exhaled the anger aside. Instead, to stare upon Drah's face and smile down at him. "You will survive, you will be safe. I will not let you go. I'll call everyone once you're on the ambulance." Maou could thank his training for his profession for this calmness. Some would call it soulless, but he was a trained vet. He dealt with death often…

Death?

His hand gripped tighter onto Drah's chest, his brow twitched and his heart hurt. "Don't you dare leave me where I can't follow, brat."

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homstuck Fic (2019/06/13)

It was common knowledge at school that Karkat Vantas was a loser.

There was plenty of reasons for this, none that were actually good or reasonable, but they were enough to make most agree with that statement.

Karkat was rather poor, his brother was a dick, his mother liked to drink until she collapsed, his father committed suicide recently, he was incredibly short and extremely skinny, and all of the popular kids liked to tease him, which made everyone else hate him.

But not Dave.

When Dave first came to Karkat's school, Karkat was certain he was gonna join the popular kids and become a new bully he'd have to deal with, but Dave proved him wrong the first time he saw Eridan and his friends picking on Karkat during lunch.

They had dumped food on him and made a huge scene in front of everyone about how they heard his mother overdosed and nearly died. It had been a humiliating day for Karkat, he just wanted to curl up in a hole and die.

But Dave stood up for him, and yelled at everyone who was laughing, asking them how they'd feel if their parents almost died. Most were quickly to stop laughing and turn against Eridan.

Karkat had been in shock, he never thought that anyone would defend him. Cause why bother? Why would anyone care about him? This kid didn't even know him, but it didn't matter.

They ate lunch together that day (Dave had shared his food with Karkat) and just talked about their interests. Dave noticed how much louder and passionate Karkat got about everything when he warmed up to someone, and he really liked that.

What he didn't like was how quiet Karkat acted during school, because he didn't want to make any trouble.

Well news flash, trouble finds him anyways.

His father killed himself only a week ago, and today was Karkat's first day back at school. It had been a really hard thing to go through, he loved his father and they got along so well, he wanted to keep making nice memories with him.

But it was too late for that now.

Karkat sat down in the only available seat left, which was next to Dave but in front of Eridan. It was the perfect seat but also the worst seat.

He tried to focus on what the teacher said, but Eridan started talking.

"Finally back huh? I thought you would've jumped by now. I see you've still got the long sleeves, add anymore scars to your collection?" He taunted quietly from behind Karkat.

It was offensive, and hurtful. Karkat had never once hurt himself through any of the things that happened to him. Sure, he might cry himself to sleep or scream at himself in the mirror, but he never cut himself.

But of course, he actually had been playing with a cat, a cat that belonged to Dave, and it scratched the hell out of him. So the next day, Eridan assumed he had started cutting.

It bothered him, hearing Eridan say those things, but mostly because it was insulting to anyone who actually did do that to themselves. 

He wouldn't let it get to him though. Eridan just wants to get a reaction out of him.

Dave took Karkat's hand under the desk and held it tightly, rubbing his thumb over it to try and comfort him.

"Why don't you go and kill yourself like your father did? We'd all be a lot happier here." Eridan hissed in your ear.

Before Karkat could even finish processing the words Eridan said, Dave had spun around and punched him square in the face, hard enough to break his nose.

Eridan screamed in pain as he fell out of his chair holding his nose that was now bleeding. "SON OF A BITCH!"

"Wanna say that again!?" Dave snapped, giving absolutely no shits about the teacher heading their way.

"Dave stop it!" Karkat whispered in a snippy tone, tugging at Dave's arm to get him to chill out.

They got sent to detention, and Eridan had to go to the hospital.

~~~

Karkat stormed into his house, Dave following in behind him. "You just had to make a scene!" He snapped.

"He told you to kill yourself." Dave snapped.

"So what? He tells me that shit every fucking time I see him. I've told you before Dave, it doesn't even bother me! What does bother me is having to get sent to detention because SOMEONE HAD TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE!" Karkat ranted, glaring up at Dave.

Dave bit his lip. Karkat couldn't see his eyes because of his shades, but it didn't matter. Ever since they met Dave had been terrible at hiding his emotions from Karkat, even when he wanted to. He didn't need to look into Dave's eyes right now to know he was pissed. "I wasn't going to sit there and do nothing while he was being a dick to you. I know you're blind to it Karkat, but you deserve better. It might not bother you now, but you could wake up one day and realize that it actually does, and you might listen and then you'll die and the idea of that happening really fucking scares me!" He ranted, Karkat could tell he was working himself up into a panic attack.

He hugged Dave gently. "Dave...stop...it's okay. I'm not going anywhere...I promise. As long as I have you, I'll always have a reason to live. I'm not gonna leave you here by yourself." He spoke softly. Dave was trembling, but Karkat would take that any day over tears. He knew somewhat what Dave's childhood was like, and it wasn't very happy. 

He was never sure if someone would come back or not, and Karkat wasn't about to leave him.

Taking a deep breath, Dave nodded. "Okay...shit sorry about that, I'm cool now." He told him rather confidently, breaking their hug. He smiled at Karkat.

"...Wanna go watch a movie?" Karkat asked with a smile.

Dave grinned. "Always." He wrapped an arm around Karkat's shoulders and they headed to Karkat's room to watch a movie.

[trickstarbrave]

oh yeah i forgot i also use this place as a dream diary sometimes

i havent had a very detailed dream in a while! but i guess my brain decided to now since i went back to bed after calling out of work

i was very young when the dream started. like 7 or so??? maybe even as young as 5. i remember i was in absolute AGONIZING pain. high fever, body aches, pain in my head, in my chest, just absolutely thrashing about screaming from unimaginable pain. after a while though the pain faded enough to where i could think properly and i realized i was in the car, in the back seat laying across my irl family members, one person driving the car, my uncle holding my legs to keep me from kicking anything and hurting myself and my grandma holding my upper half. i was biting her in the pain and i realized that and felt horrible and slowly just tried to relax my body thinking that would be better and i was also out of energy. this made everyone freak the hell out though bc at least when i was screaming and thrashing around they knew i was still alive. like this they thought i was straight up dying but i didnt have the energy to tell them i was still alive just tired and the pain was going away

finally we made it to the hospital. it was dark the entire car ride only lit up by street lights. the hospital was bright and i hated it. apparently this was a specialty hospital bc these sorts of cases had been happening in children all of a sudden so it was government funded to research and treat it. they immediately took me from my family and rushed me in, sticking an iv in me and giving me various meds. i could taste the saline solution in my mouth from it and then the bitter taste of medication (fun fact you do feel that irl from meds in ur iv i hate it)

i wanted to see my mom. i didnt wanna be alone apart from my family. i reached toward them with what energy i had as they wheeled me away but the doctors all told my family i needed to be taken back alone on my bed. that was the last time i ever saw them. as soon as they got out of eyesight the nurses started smacking my hands and telling me to stop struggling and stop crying.

and thus begins the fucked up horrible part of the dream. to note: this was a world where magic did exist and was known but most of it vanished centuries ago and was declared cursed. the government knew kids were being born with this time of magic again and was taking us in to experiment on us and use us as weapons. we were basically institutionalized in there with no hope of ever getting out. we ranged in ages and backgrounds but we all had that in common. depending on the strength of our abilities we were experimented on more or less or experienced more isolation. i was barely allowed to see anyone that wasn’t a doctor or nurse and i was slowly losing my sanity in isolation. through my powers i looked through the ceiling to watch the stars every night and every corner of the night sky was lit up with little dots of light (i could perceive light much more sensitively with my powers i guess??? like a super strong telescope. idk if this means anything) and counted the times an ancient void serpent trailed around the sky because when it did i could see his long, terrifying form blot out the stars in blackness. most ppl couldnt see him but i could and after a while it brought me comfort. when i could during the day i’d pass notes to the other kids who were there, we told stories, made jokes. if we passed each other in the hall they would always give me knowing looks and encouragement. i was one of the youngest i think, which is why they were looking out for me.

then the time came. our powers were quickly becoming too much to control. the drugs to suppress them worked less and less. i got more and more creative with mine and discovered mine was basically reality warping. if i wanted something to happen and spoke it, it would happen. if other people around me believed in it enough it was even more likely to come true. another kid had the ability to manipulate time. another could eat anything and had super strength (we learned she also had some reality warping given she could also turn it into any food she wanted it to be when she ate it lol that was kinda fun she bit into metal and was like “OMG IT IS NUTELLA PANCAKES I WANTED IT TO BE I HAVENT HAD THEM SINCE I GOT HERE”) i saw another kid escape by looking through the walls and get brought back, but i formulated a plan. me and i think 5 other kids made our escape.

i was like 11-12 but i was the most important member and a secondary leader. the time kid was the big leader and he was like 15 or so??? maybe 16. he was tall but scrawny from all the testing and shitty food. we stole a van and they tried to stop us with like police barricades and shit but i could just blast them away or force the cars to move. then they tried tanks and the same shit happened but it was getting harder and harder to move around them. then i made us go up over the hill at a very high speed and i made the van fucking FLY with everyone else’s help. over the hill i could see the ancient ruins. they were from like the 1100′s??? looked like old stone castles from europe, but they were huge strongholds and no one went in them bc reality wasn’t normal inside them and they were rumored to be cursed. no matter what if we went in there the police wouldnt follow and the researchers wouldnt wanna risk it. it was getting dark now and i was tired but we couldnt sleep unless we found someplace safe to rest bc they needed me most of all to protect them so i had our leader drive the flying fucking van there. inside there was a small forest and a bunch of little houses and we went deeper and deeper until we got to the main village in the ruins. the houses were still mostly standing but filled with cobwebs and spiders but we retreated into the largest house which was kinda like a manor

everyone was creeped out and i wanted to make it comfortable so i went around was like “there are no more cobwebs and spiders” and then i went around and found us all the houses and basically made all of the floors fixed and brand new and the walls strong, then the windows fixed, then the fireplaces lit, then all the dishes cleaned and all the furniture fixed, then all the beds were comfy, and all the light posts had candles that were lit and so on. everyone was so impressed but then it came time to eat and i was like. fuck it. lemme try to get wild so i made a whole ass maid out of magic and she was a kind old woman who then conjured up a HUGE dinner for us bc we were starving but too tired to cook and she brushed out all of our hair while we were gorging ourselves. all the kids asked if my magic was always this strong and i said i didnt know if it was the location we were in or if the meds wearing off meant it was this strong. but god the food was delicious there was roast chicken and duck and potatoes and roasted veggies and fresh bread and stew and i was just gorging myself on everything that wasn’t flavorless slop.

but then someone knew showed up??? a guy was living there in the village apparently and saw all the lights. he was mad at us yelling asking how he did it before realizing it was magic and his eyes lit up. apparently he was an old spirit living here and seeing there were kids with magic again he was delighted and said i was his son/daughter now (he used both unsure if i was a boy or a girl and tbh in my dream i was like both are fine idk what i am) and i think now that im awake he might have been a god. lol.

he was talking to us and telling us all to go to bed since we were so tired but he’d explain everything in the morning and we could think of where to go next but after i crawled into bed (i could feel the linen sheets so vividly jesus) i woke up

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Vampire soulmate au: they feed off you for the first time.

They explain to you how blood tastes to them and enjoy a meal... 

Tw: Blood drinking, heavy petting

---------------------------------

Hawks: It's been a year you and Keigo seem to be together, you've been talking about moving in together anywho, You got a paper cut and Keigo who was crashing at your placed smelled it from your living room, he nearly gave you a heart attack when you turned around to see him standing behind you, his gold eyes had red tinge as he eyed your finger like a like man who hasn't eaten in a week. "Ey, there I thought you've already had enough to drink today?" you were referring to the black and red sports bottle he'd brought with him. "I did, It's just- You have no Idea how hard I've been holding back, your blood it does something to me..." Keigo husked eyes locked on the crimson nectar dripping down your hand he was salivating and swallowed hard. "My blood...does it smell good?" you asked timidly.

The blond snapped out of his trance. "Petal, you smell like ripe strawberries and chocolate to me..." Keigo has already told you how smoker's blood smells and taste to him, well you now you were curious about non-smokers, and asked if blood type also has an effect on the blood's flavor? the winged vamp was happy to answer! 

Smokers: Charcoal/moldy bread.

Drunks: depends on how drunk they are, it's somewhere between hard soda and hard wine or liquor.

Drug users: no idea, he says they smell like rotten eggs, and he's seen how loopy other vamps act after feeding on them and stays clear of them.

Sick/injured: He stays away from sick people but they smell like a cross between a hospital or a funeral home.

Virgins: sweet/tart like fruit-punch.

regular folks: like Sangria the fruitiness is still there but it's mixed with bitter wine . 

"Blood types don't really change up the flavors, but I've noticed type As have a spice to them, Bs start off sour, and type Os are pretty mellow." You hummed very intrigued at what you were hearing then, noticed Keigo was still eyeing your finger, like a starved animal, you looked down at the cut then back Keigo and noticed his wings were tense and he was clenching his jaw, after some thought you sighed you held your hand out to him. "Go head before your jaw breaks" His wings bristled. "I'm not some desperate leech y'know." he huffed you shrugged and went to went to put a band-aid on, but Keigo stopped you.

"Let's not be hasty here..."  He stammered out at you cocked a brow at him. "Yer really giving me mixed signals here." you huffed did he want your blood or not? " Um... Are you sure about this?" he said blush adoring his cheeks. "I'm just letting you suck my finger...Why are you acting like I just asked you to pop my cherry?" Keigo's face was as red as a cherry as you said this. "Because you essenually are..." He explained the big difference between mates and prey, on instinct he wouldn't give a crap about some rando he picked up off the street or whatever mystery pack the commission gives him, but you... 

You're his soulmate, his fated one... and right now your pretty much telling him to make you his! He's not gonna stop at your finger, once he's had a taste he's going for your neck! And once he bites you that's it, you have his mark forever, You paused absorbing what the blond male just told you...Well, he hardly leaves you alone already might as well go all in? "Do it." Hawks's eyes were red now. "Come" he hissed sitting across from you and gesturing to sit in his lap.

You complied and watched Keigo warily as he brought your finger to his mouth, immediately you felt a shock go through you the second Keigo's tongue started lapping at the cut, he moaned tasting your blood for the first time. He was right you tasted every bit as sweet as he thought you would...*more...more...* his monster groaned euphorically he felt the cut on your finger close from his saliva's healing properties.

Keigo's eyes drifted towards your neck, You gasp feeling his grip on your hand tighten before his free hand found it's way behind your head, you tensed seeing Keigo's fangs elongate but before he could pierce your neck he smelled your distress.

His rough hold on you suddenly slacked and his hands lowered to your hips his thumbs gently rubbed you sides as he left little kisses and nip along your jaw before you calmed down enough to trust Hawks wasn't gonna tear your throat out. "Just relax." he cooed kissing you neck a couple more times like a countdown. one...two... three! 

You tried not to scream as you felt his fangs pierce your neck, your fingers gripped his jacket as you felt yourself be drained... then like a switch had been slowly tuned the pain tuned into pleasure? moans started sneaking their out from your mouth which confused you, the blond vampire groaned in ecstasy at how rich your blood tasted with lust mixed in he buck his hips against you, after what seemed like hours Keigo's fangs finally retracted from your flesh and lap at the two holes he left on your neck, they sealed as you whimpered weakly Keigo just shushed and you. "It's alright kid, you did good" he cooed kissing your head as you started drifting out of consciousness.   

When you woke up your head was pounding like a bad hangover Keigo was cradling you in his lap looking relieved and sheepish, he explained he went a little overboard with his drinking and venom dosing and you got drunk on him and passed out! you must've looked panicked cos Keigo assured you were completely fine, the venom isn't lethal... (To you anyways, one of the benefits of being a vampire's soulmate.) Though you might be a bit feverish and cranky for the next couple days.  

----------------------------------------------------

Dabi: You were on your period so yes Dabi's self restraint was breaking! you had no fucking idea what you blood was doing to him you smelled like a 5 star meal and all he could do was sit and drown in his own drool and watch you, like a hawk as you moaned and groaned about  cramps and ruining your pajama shorts when you woke up this morning! a low growl escaped the faux raven haired vamp when he saw you toss out a bag with said aforementioned shorts, it took every nerve in him not to run after the garbage truck like a starved dog! before something you said snapped him out of his trance. "hn...What ya say?" he looked at you drinking his third pack of cow's blood.

"I asked if my blood smells good and what does it taste like?"

"I wouldn't know haven't tasted yours yet..."

"Well, what about anyone else's?" 

"Why are you suddenly interested?"

You huffed "Sorry for wanting to know you..." and were about to tell him to forget it, when the the undead cremator spoke up. "Mocha mixed wit' something spicy like cinnamon or rum" he muttered not looking at you. Of course you cocked a brow now intrigued, now that that was out of the bag he might as well tell ya the rest. 

Smokers: burnt rubber/earwax (eh, everyone was a kid once, had to know what that gunky crap in your ear tasted like.)

Drunks: Depends on how much they've drank, it could between hard water to straight up red wine.

Drug users: the one time he fed on one he thought they were just a pothead, but in turned out they had ate a few shrooms which made them kinda taste like... orange juice and black liquorice?... Honestly he can't give a straight answer, as he was too busy trippin out on another plain of existence to remember.  

Sick/injured: doesn't feed off the sick, but they smell like a hospital or a morgue.

Virgins: like apples and honey

Regular folks: they taste like Apple cider. 

Animal blood: kinda tastes like artificial cherry cough syrup, and he hates it!

"Then why do you drink it?" you gulped seeing his cerulean eyes flash red for a brief second as he locked eyes with you. "Why?...*growl* your standing in front of me smelling like a walking buffet and you have to gall ask me why I drinking this crap?!" he snapped crushing the blood pack in his hand as you started backing away, you were nervous that only fueled Dabi's sadistic side you learned early that he enjoyed agitating you via flashing his fangs, popping behind you out of seemingly nowhere, and faking you out.

I.E. making it seem like he was gonna bite you then blow air in your ears before walking away laughing at your reaction, something about putting you on edge and having your adrenaline pumping through your veins adds more "spice" to your scent, it happens so often that Dabi started noticing arousal was mixing in with your fear, you bet your ass he started mocking you for getting off on him scaring you. 

Of course right now you weren't sure if he was seriously mad, or making fun of you again? He was not making fun of you again he was seriously pissed off, The nerve of you walking around asking him about useless crap, and offering him nothing in return! Dabi had you backed against a wall face buried in your shoulder you felt him sniffing you and flinched you felt him nipping along your neck, and like all the other times he's riled you he smelled that that little speck of arousal through the fear. 

He let out a low chuckle causing you to to become fed up, you though he was screwing with you again! "Goddamm-.hm!" You were cut off by sharp yelp as Dabi's fang suddenly pierced your neck! oh god it hurt! you whimpered tried shoving Dabi off! he groaned pushing your back against the wall, suddenly your body felt weird... you moaned it was hot and and everything felt sensitive...

You barely registered Dabi lifting your legs up you instinctively wrapped them around his hips, he let out a low purr and his demeanor became less angry and forceful, his shoulders relaxed as his hands gently rubbed your legs, after what seemed like hours Dabi finally pulled away from your neck lapping at the pin holes he left on, he checked on you only to find you passed out his eye had a rare tenderness to them as he eyed your flushed appearance. "Well aren't you high maintenance." he cooed his thumb caressing you chin before taking you to bed.   

----------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: He didn't want say what you smelled like to him as it made him look soft, he finally cracks after more poking a prodding. "If I fucking do will you shut up and let me sleep?!" he hissed it was 8: 47 p.m. and he was tired which confused you, the sun was still out and you could hear kids playing in the streets outside. You heard a angry growl Katsuki's ears were pink. "S'mores...you smell like S'mores, happy?" he groaned when you started shaking him, no point in trying to sleep now that he's lit the fuse! He gave you the sum up of what blood tastes like to him.

Smokers: old news paper and figs.

Drug users: No clue stays clear of them, they smell like pickled eggs.

Drunks: Somewhere between hard water and flavored vodka.

Virgins: Why would you want to kno-... arhg! Coffee and vanilla!

Regular folks: Irish coffee and bitter mint.

Then you you started asking about blood types and what it was when he drank, Next thing you knew Katsuki let out this frustrated bellow! You yelped as he grabbed your wrists and pinned you under him. "You wanna know what it feels like?" you sheepishly mumbled a meek "yes" but the blonds red eyes narrowed. "Hah? say that again I couldn't hear ya?" he jeered trying to get you to use your voice, you repeated "Yes" again a bit more forceful as the ash blond unbuttoned the shirt he let you borrow exposing your neck to him. 

Katsuki frowned he could smell your reluctance, then grumbled in annoyance as he recalled Shitty-hair's advice ""Take it slow, be gentle..."" He took a deep breath and carefully buried his face in you neck, You flinched expecting him to clamp down, giving how much you annoyed him, but to your surprise; Katsuki instead opted to started leaving kisses along your jaw and collar bone.

You bit back a moan when he found you sweet spot and causing Katsuki to smirk if wasn't so hungry and tired right now, he might've taken this much farther, but the mouthwatering scent of your blood calling him was too much to pass up. "I'm gonna do it" he husked as you nodded and with that, Katsuki's fangs pierced your neck.

You gasped in pain felling them puncture your skin as Katsuki grasped your hand, the blond groaned in euphoria your blood tasted every bit as rich and sweet as he thought it would, he could smell your discomforted and on instinct inject a doses of his venom into your bloodstream in minutes your blood's flavor intensified with added lust, your tiny moans and whimpers were music to his hears, soon his instincts were warning him stop.

Katsuki's fangs retracted he lapped at the punctures he left on your neck, before pulling away to look at you and snorted you were a flushed out mess. "That sate your curiosity?" he huffed fixing your shirt you tried to say something but were too exhausted to say anything tangible, the ash blond chuckled and settled down next to you for the night.   

-------------------------------------------------------

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Could you please write Jason and Y/N (Father of Mine Universe) with prompts 48, 31, and maybe 30? could go either way.

Even if you choose not to write this, thanks for creating Father of Mine, it's one of my favorite fics!

Father of Mine

48. Using your body to shield them from attack.

31. Hurriedly checking for their pulse.

30. Performing CPR when they stop breathing.

Jason and Y/N were walking along the water after getting dinner.

Most of the harbors in Gotham were run by one crime lord or another. Which meant that there were very few areas on the water for civilians to enjoy – or feel safe. 

But Jason knew of a strip that was under the radar.

There were a few other couples with the same idea. And random groups of kids and teenagers hanging out and messing around.

Jason was relaxed.

That was his first mistake.

Jason had immediately clocked a random middle-aged man who was covered in sweat and was visibly trembling.

Being far too familiar with the sight, Jason assumed the guy was another unfortunate addict. 

But then he noticed the man was carrying a backpack.

Jason had all of 5 seconds to realize what was about to happen.

He shielded Y/N with his body while screaming as loud as he could, “Get down!”

Jason knew he couldn’t save everyone, and Y/N would always be his number one priority.

The next second, the bomb exploded.

The impact knocked Jason unconscious.

For how long, he had no idea.

He was disoriented from the explosion, his ears ringing from tinnitus and his vision struggling to focus from the vertigo. Yet, somehow he could still hear the beating of his heart in his eardrums. 

People were screaming in pain around him and others were crying as they looked down at their loved ones. Half the harbor was on fire from the explosion. Cement and debris was everywhere. Jason’s hair was grey from it.

He blinked and then panicked.

“Y/N!” Jason screamed when he realized she wasn’t anywhere near him.

He jumped to his feet and whipped around in every direction looking for her.

“Y/N!” He screamed even louder, his throat burning from the effort.

Then he realized when the explosion when off they had been standing next to the railing that blocked off the water. The railing that had now been blasted away and into the harbor.

Jason sprinted to the edge and looked down at the black water below.

Without hesitation, he dove into the depths.

It was almost impossible to see anything.

But just seconds later, he found Y/N unconscious and completely submerged.

Jason had never swam faster in his life.

But when they breached, Y/N didn’t gasp for air.

She was completely unconscious.

Jason’s eyes darted around, trying to find their escape.

By some miracle, there was a rusty ladder that led back up to the pier from the water.

Jason put Y/N’s body over his shoulder as he climbed the ladder, silently praying that the metal didn’t break under their combined weight.

When they reached the top, he gently laid her down and his fingers shot to the pulse point at her neck.

Nothing.

“No, no, no,” Jason mumbled. “Y/N. Come on, baby. You’re not doing this to me.”

He found his Red Hood comm in the pocket of his jacket, and put it to his hear.

“Contact Bruce,” he commanded the AI as he started performing CPR on Y/N.

“What is it?” Bruce answered with slight panic. 

Jason had never called him like this before. And therefore Bruce knew immediately something terrible happened.

“Get the fucking jet here right now,” Jason growled.

“What’s happened?” Bruce asked, but it was obvious he was moving around already to leave.

“There was an explosion. She doesn’t have a pulse and she’s not breathing,” it was all Jason was capable of giving him. “Just get the fucking jet here now!”

He didn’t have time to explain more and hung up. And he didn’t have to say Y/N’s name for Bruce know who he was talking about. There was only one woman in Jason’s life that would have him sounding so panicked and desperate.

Jason continued his CPR, fully focused now that he knew Bruce was on the way.

Still nothing.

He did another round of compressions.

Jason’s eyes started watery as his mind began to believe that Y/N wasn’t going to make it.

He wouldn’t survive.

Y/N had changed his life. She made him better, made him good, made him want to worker harder – do literally anything to become the man she deserved and to continue to be deserving of her love.

“Please,” Jason whimpered. “Please don’t leave me.”

But then Y/N’s eyes shot open and she immediately turned over and started coughing up water.

“Holy fuck,” Jason gasped in relief at the sight.

Y/N continued coughing until her throat was scratched and dry.

Jason rubbed her back, trying to comfort her without preventing her body from getting all the water out of her lungs.

After she finished, she was shaking from being freezing cold and from the shock.

Despite him also being wet, Jason put his coat over her shoulders.

“Don’t ever fucking do that to me again,” Jason begged Y/N as he pulled her into his arms. 

He kissed the crown of her head and hoped his body heat would be enough to warm her up.

“What happened?” Her voice had never been raspier and it was now quivering.

“A bomb went off. I thought I shielded you from it, but the impact must’ve thrown you into the harbor.”

“I’m OK,” she tried to tell him. But her shaking voice was unconvincing. 

Jason wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon.

It was only 5 minutes later that the batplane touched down on what remained of the pier.

Jason looked up to see Dick, Tim, and Damian jump out and immediately start helping the injured.

But Bruce, dressed in his Batman uniform, was walking straight to Jason and Y/N.

“She needs to go to a hospital,” Jason called out when Bruce was a few yards away. “Her heart stopped beating and her lungs took in too much water.”

Jason knew Bruce wouldn’t argue with taking Y/N there immediately.

Bruce was clearly relieved at seeing his daughter alive and conscious. But that didn’t mean she was in the clear. Nearly drowning still had its risks. If her heart stopped beating, she was in danger of brain damage or pneumonia.

“I’ll take her. You help the others,” Bruce ordered as he stepped forward to take Y/N from Jason’s arms.

“Like fucking hell I am,” Jason growled as he stood up with Y/N in his arms.

Bruce was about to fight him on it, but then he met Y/N’s eyes. Her skin was pale and almost had a blue tint to it. She looked so small and vulnerable in Jason’s arms. Not like the strong and grown woman that had first strutted into Wayne Manor.

“I’m not leaving her,” Jason added for good measure.

Bruce finally sighed and nodded. “Take the jet. You know where to go. I’ll meet you there.”

Before Jason could carry her away, Y/N whispered, “What about the others?” 

Her eyes tried to look around her boyfriend’s broad shoulders to see the other victims.

“B is going to help them,” Jason gently told her. He even angled his body to block her line of sight. She didn’t need to see any of it. 

“We already have ambulance and firemen on the way,” Bruce added, hoping it would convince her further not to worry herself. 

There was nothing she could do for them anyway. 

Then Bruce locked eyes with Jason. “Go. Get out of here. Take care of her.”

“Always,” Jason muttered quickly before hurrying Y/N to the jet.

————————

Y/N woke up to two low voices clearly having a serious discussion, but trying to keep their voices down.

When she opened her eyes, Y/N realized she was in a hospital room. But it wasn’t just any room. It seemed like a five-star hotel with how fancy it was. It didn’t have that sterile smell or those harsh fluorescent lights that caused headaches.

“It was a turf war,” Bruce told Jason quietly. “Carmine has jurisdiction over the harbor the two of you were at tonight. But Farrelli wanted it for himself. He forced his latest victim to bring the bomb.”

Jason crossed his arms. “So, the guy was dead either way, Farrelli just thought he’d put him to some use before he murdered him.”

Bruce nodded. “And kill five more people with him.”

“Five people died?” Y/N burst out without realizing it.

Both men’s heads whipped in her direction.

“You’re awake,” Jason sighed and immediately rushed to her side.

“What hospital am I at?” She mumbled, looking around again.

“Gotham General,” he told her as he sat on the edge of the bed to face her.

Jason gently grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. But he had no intention of letting it go, keeping a tight hold and rubbing his thumb back and forth across her skin.

Bruce was slower to join them as he walked with his hands in his pant pockets.

“This isn’t Gotham General,” she commented with a suspicious gaze. 

Jason scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Well, as soon as Bruce arrived, they realized that you’re Gotham royalty by blood, and brought you to a special suite.”

Then Y/N’s eyes slowly moved to her father. “Five people died from the explosion?”

She needed to know. But she also knew that both men would try to protect her from possible survivor’s guilt.

So Bruce just nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Jason asked, trying to distract her by changing the subject.

“Tired. And my throat is sore,” she admitted with a light shrug.

Then she looked up at Jason and really took him in.

There were dark shadows under his eyes – the eyes that were still a bit bloodshot. 

Had he been crying? She hadn’t registered that. 

His hair was a mess, probably from drying haphazardly after jumping into the water to save her.

“Are you OK?” She asked.

It would be right on brand for Jason to risk his life saving her, but ignore any and all injures that he’d received from the same life-threatening travesty.

“I’m fine. Always am,” Jason reassured her too quickly.

Bruce chimed in,“We were all just worried about you, Y/N.”

Both men knew her next question was going to be about the well-being of Damian, Dick, and Tim.

“Can we go home?” She asked softly.

Y/N had always hated hospitals. And once her mother got cancer, Y/N absolutely despised them. Now all she had attached to them was bad memories that constantly threatened to trigger her. 

“They just need to get a scan back, make sure everything’s good,” Jason tried to comfort her. “Once that’s good, I’ll take you home.”

He knew her distaste for hospitals and was prepared for her to want to escape at the earliest opportunity.

“Scan?” Y/N questioned.

“You didn’t have a pulse,” Bruce explained. “You have a concussion. We need to make sure there was no brain damage or any lasting side effects.”

“Right,” she mumbled, trying not to sound worried.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Jason reassured her as he cupped her cheek.

“Perhaps you should stay at the manor for a few days,” Bruce offered. “You can relax and not be bothered.”

“She can not be bothered in our apartment,” Jason interrupted, giving him side eye.

“Jason…” Y/N warned gently.

She knew the signs of Jason getting worked up. The fire in his eyes was always something Y/N could read – more than anyone else.

Bruce wasn’t offended by Jason’s little snipe. He was used to his temper. But his gaze did turn rather serious. 

“Could I talk to you outside for a moment?”

Jason was about to refuse, not wanting to leave Y/N’s side. But he knew that would just most likely lead to an argument. And Y/N didn’t need to hear or see that. She was already exhausted and recovering. The last thing she needed was to witness was her father and boyfriend going at it – especially over her.

So Jason just nodded and stormed out of the room.

The quicker they got this over with, the better.

As soon as the door closed, Jason was sizing Bruce up.

“What exactly is your next move?” Bruce questioned.

“I’m going after Farrelli,” Jason rumbled, as if it was obvious.

No one put Y/N in danger and got away with it. Jason had already come up with a plan on how to seek his revenge. 

It was going to be gruesome and dirty, but nothing less than what the bastards deserved.

Bruce clearly had expected this answer. “So do you plan on doing that while you take care of Y/N?” And he tilted his head as he challenged Jason.

“Are you really trying to stop me?”

Bruce took a step forward. “No, Jason. I’m trying to protect you from yourself. You get blinded by vengeance. And I let you get away with it. But now your actions don’t just effect you…they effect her, too.”

Jason blinked.

“Y/N needs you right now. Even though she will act like she doesn’t.” Bruce inhaled. “If you’re going to put revenge over her wellbeing, she should stay at the manor.”

This was a somewhat of a warning – an opportunity for Jason to do the right thing before he could make his mistake.

Jason’s head hung low now. “I can’t let him get away with it. She almost died, Bruce.”

“And he won’t. But we’ll take care of it,” Bruce promised.

Jason thought it about a moment, before he finally nodded slowly. “I think the manor would be good. But I won’t leave her.”

“I never said you had to,” Bruce corrected.

Jason nodded again and made his way to the door of Y/N’s room again.

“Jason?” Bruce called.

He turned around with an eyebrow quirked.

“Thank you for saving her life.”

Jason tried not to roll his eyes, but took a few steps back to Bruce. 

“You have your opinions about me and her, I’m sure. But I want to make this is clear: I’m always going to protect her. Always. What happened tonight is never going to happen again. I’d die protecting her.”

Jason didn’t wait for Bruce’s response before turning back around. 

But just as he opened Y/N’s door her heard, “I know, Jason. I’ve always known.”

—————

Jason was able to convince Y/N to stay at the manor.

And she surprisingly agreed – as long as he came with her.

Alfred spoiled her rotten with all of her favorite meals. He was constantly bring her tea or coffee. 

Damian ordered all of his pets to keep her company and cuddle with her. To the point where Jason was annoyed because there was literally no space for him.

Tim downloaded a hundred movies for her to watch. 

Dick sent flowers and chocolates. 

Even Clark stopped by when he heard what happened. 

Unbeknownst to Y/N, all the boys and Bruce were working on taking down Farrelli. 

If Jason was the man from just a few years ago, Farrelli’s corpse would already be rotting somewhere in Gotham. But he had changed. Now they had to do things the right way.

Jason stuck to Y/N’s side like glue. He hovered, watched her like a hawk, wouldn’t let her do anything on her own.

After of a few days of this, Y/N finally had enough.

“You gonna talk to me anytime soon?” She asked him in bed on their third night.

Jason broke their eye contact.

“Jason. Please?” She whispered.

Silence filled the room.

“I can’t do it.”

Her brow furrowed. “Can’t do what?”

For a split moment, she thought he was about to try and break up with her. 

“I can’t watch you get hurt again. I just…I can’t.”

She cupped his cheeks. “But I’m right here. And I’m fine, Jason.”

“When I…” He hesitated. “When I died. I knew it was coming. I saw the bomb counting down and I knew there was no escape. I accepted my fate. I knew I was going to die. And I was scared.” 

Jason shook his head and took in a deep breath, “But Y/N…that was nothing compared to what I felt when I was convinced I’d lost you. I’m never been so fucking terrified in my life.”

Y/N smothered him with her embrace. “I’m so sorry for scaring you. But I’m OK. Please just focus on that. Please.”

“I can’t lose you, Y/N.” Jason whispered into her hair. “This place was hell before I met you. And I have no fuckin’ interest in fighting it without you.”

Y/N wished she could promise Jason that she would never leave him. But she was the child of a mother who passed far too soon. She knew life and death could be so cruel, ripping the loved ones away with or without warning.

No, she didn’t die this time. But who was to say something like this wouldn’t happen again? And maybe next time, she wouldn’t be so lucky. They lived in Gotham after all.

“Fate may have other ideas…But I never plan on leaving your side, Jason. I love you too much to do anything else.”

Jason actually laughed. “I can fight fate.”

He’d done it once before.

----------------

I have a few more of these prompts for bonus material. But let me know what you think 🤗

[extasiswings]

15 + buddie

15. "Shouldn't you be with her?" On ao3 here.

When Eddie is eleven, his class gets a new student. Her name is Maria Esparza and her family is from Arizona. She has dark curls that look like they would be soft to touch and a smattering of freckles across her nose and she’s so smart—always reading and forever raising her hand in class, always with the right answers—but she never acts stuck up about it.

He thinks she’s beautiful and when he gets home from the first day of school he promptly announces that he’s in love. He doesn’t understand why his mother laughs or why Sophia rolls her eyes and calls him an idiot when he’s perfectly serious.

He’s in love, he insists, and goes on believing it for three whole weeks until he gets up the courage to give Maria a flower at recess and she looks at him like he has two heads. The rejection smarts for a couple of days, but then he’s fine. So, he figures...maybe it wasn’t love after all.

Eddie is fifteen when he finds his eyes slipping too frequently to Diego Reed in autoshop, lingering on the other boy’s long, dexterous fingers, his forearms, the sharp edge of his jaw. Eddie can’t explain it, he just knows those stolen glances make him squirm, make him flush, make him feel too warm and like his very skin is too tight.

Diego steals Eddie’s first kiss two weeks before winter break, pushes him up against the back wall of the shop where they’re hidden by a truck and licks into his mouth with a confidence that Eddie can’t imagine ever having when he himself can’t even figure out what to do with his hands. But it makes his knees weak and leaves him breathless and panting when Diego pulls away with a smirk and tells him not to say anything.

It’s not love—for one thing, Eddie knows he’s not supposed to love boys, and for another, the only time he suggests it might be anything at all, Diego gives him the same look Maria had once upon a time and walks away—but it’s nothing he’s ever felt before. The next year, Angelica Phelan asks him to go to the winter formal and he gets to second base in the science lab when they slip away from the chaperones. It’s different from kissing Diego. But it’s just as good, he enjoys it just as much, and part of him is…relieved.

He doesn’t think about that too much.

Eddie is eighteen when he’s not watching where he’s going and runs directly into his future on the sidewalk. Thankfully, the only casualty is Shannon’s coffee, and after she snaps at him for not paying attention and he offers to replace her drink—well. They close down the coffee shop, emerging, startled, from conversation only when interrupted by a mildly disgruntled employee trying to lock up. Eddie walks home in a daze, Shannon’s phone number burning a hole in his pocket, and he’s simultaneously elated and terrified because it’s never been so easy being with someone, he’s never felt so seen so quickly. He’s old enough to realize that love at first sight is bullshit, but he thinks he could fall very fast.

He’s right.

They take things slow because Eddie wants to do things right, doesn’t want to risk confusing love with the heady cocktail of teenage hormones and sex. So he knows by the time he does fall into bed with her, eight months in, that he’s in love. Really in love, thinking about the future in love, factoring her into the mix when he thinks about what the hell he’s going to do with his life in love.

And then Shannon gets pregnant. And it’s too soon, he loves her but it’s too soon, and he’s terrified all over again—

He loves her though. He loves her. And she’s pregnant so—they get married. He wants to do the right thing.

At their wedding the readings are selections from Song of Songs and Corinthians.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud....Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

With all due respect to St. Paul, Eddie doesn’t think he knew what the hell he was talking about. Or at least, maybe he did, but he was being pretty damn aspirational and left out a few things.

Because after the wedding…after the wedding, Eddie learns a lot more about love.

Love is beautiful, yes. But love is also…trying to do the right thing and fucking up. Love is fighting and knowing exactly what to say to cut the deepest and not always holding back. Love is forgiving, but after a point finding it difficult to forget.

Or maybe that’s not love, maybe that’s just marriage. Maybe it’s a little of both. Because love endures—sure. Love endured with Shannon even when trust was nonexistent, when their marriage was fractured, shattered pieces strewn across the floor ready to draw blood if either of them tried to pick them up.

Love isn’t enough. That’s what Eddie knows. Or maybe it is, maybe love would have been enough to fix what was broken if it hadn’t been his. Shannon’s gone, so they’ll never be able to have that conversation. He’ll never know the answer.

Love endures. Eddie kind of wishes it didn’t. It would make a lot of things a lot easier.

But…it’s fine. He’s fine. Shannon dies and he locks that piece of himself away and has no plans to ever fall in love again.

Then again, God has a funny sense of humor and never seems to resist an opportunity to be an asshole, so of course…he does. Slowly. Quietly. The threads slipping through the cracks in his walls so carefully that he doesn’t even notice until they’re twined around his heart, unspooling through his blood, through his veins with every pulse. Eddie doesn’t notice.

And then he gets shot and it’s like being hit by lightning, an electric shock of clarity down his spine, rooting him in place as he meets Buck’s eyes.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

***

Eddie despises recovery.

He’s never been good at being still, at being useless, at being left alone with nothing but his own head. And maybe he’s not entirely alone—he has Christopher, after all, and Christopher is understandably a little clingy now that he’s home from the hospital—but Christopher sleeps and has play dates and spends time in his room and just in general isn’t in Eddie’s space every second of every day.

And then there’s Buck. Buck who offered to keep staying on the couch to take care of everything they needed when Eddie came home from the hospital. Buck who Eddie sent home to his own bed with promises to call if he needed help because having Buck so close after Eddie’s little realization was stirring him up, making everything a million times more difficult in his head. Buck’s still over frequently, but it’s less dangerous if he’s not staying overnight, if Eddie can’t wake up and be tempted to walk out to the living room and pull Buck into his bed. Not for anything sexual—he’s on too many medications and too immobilized for that even if it was remotely a good idea—but to be held. To feel wanted. To feel safe.

He knows Buck probably wouldn’t say no, wouldn’t think anything of it except that maybe he’s a little raw and fragile, which he is. Which is exactly why he can’t ask. So. Removing the temptation it is.

But. Being left alone with his own head is a terrible idea. He’s in pain because he lowered the doses of his pain meds so he would stop worrying about developing any dependency. He can’t sleep without waking up with screams trapped behind his teeth and the smell of blood and gunpowder in his nose. And he can’t stop thinking about Buck. About being in love with Buck. About wanting Buck. About whether he could ever have him or whether he’ll ever be okay enough to be in a relationship. About whether Buck could ever want him back or if he’ll ever feel safe enough to risk their friendship by even asking.

He broke up with Ana the second he was able to figure out how to do it without feeling like a complete dick. But he hasn’t told Buck that. He doesn’t know why.

And then there’s—

The key turns in the lock and Eddie starts, looking up from his place on the couch. Christopher is with his abuela for the night, and he didn’t expect—

“Hey,” Buck calls, stepping through the door. “I brought dinner.”

Eddie stares.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, before he can stop himself. “Shouldn’t you be with Taylor?”

—Taylor. Buck and Taylor. Which, Buck waited weeks to tell him about, hedging about why he wanted to know if it was okay to invite her to Eddie’s welcome home party. Which, Buck only did admit to when Eddie called one night at 2AM and Taylor answered Buck’s phone.

Eddie clears his throat, the question sounding a little too sharp and accusatory to his ears.

“I just meant,” he adds, softening, “I thought you said you had a date tonight.”

An odd look passes over Buck’s face.

“Isabel called me,” he replies. “She said you were by yourself, asked if I would check on you. We rescheduled, it’s fine.”

Eddie nods once and pulls the couch throw tighter around his shoulders with his good arm. A petty, possessive piece of him is pleased. That Buck’s there. That Buck would drop everything for him.

He’s always been wary of Taylor. Even way back when they first met and she was prowling around the station filming everyone and flirting with Buck. But now? Now he’s jealous, his stomach twisting at the very reminder that she has Buck the way Eddie wants him.

But at the same time…he hates that. Hates the jealousy, hates feeling possessive. Because what claim does he have over Buck’s affections? None. Especially not when he can’t even admit to loving him outside his head.

He hates it because he knows that more than anything, Buck deserves to be happy. And maybe Eddie could make him happy, but—

Even if Buck felt the same—and Eddie isn’t convinced of that, doesn’t have the arrogance to assume—what right does he have to say please, to say wait, to ask Buck to put his life on hold indefinitely while Eddie sorts through the tangled mess in his head in the hope that one day he’ll finally be ready? He can’t be that selfish. Especially not with Buck.

Buck deserves to be happy. Even if that’s with Taylor Kelly. Even if it means Eddie loses him.

He doesn’t get to be jealous.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Eddie replies quietly. “I’m fine.”

Buck sets the bag in his arms down on the coffee table.

“You don’t look fine,” he points out. “Actually, you look like shit. Isabel was right to call me.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie repeats. His heart pangs at the concern in Buck’s eyes. “Really, it’s okay—you should—you should—”

Go. Call Taylor back. Enjoy your date.

He wants to do the right thing. He really does. But the rest of the words refuse to leave his throat.

Buck shakes his head anyway. “I’m not going anywhere,” he insists. “So tell me what’s going on. How can I help?”

Eddie bites his lip. Drags his hand over his jaw before making a face. The messy, overgrown scruff is itchy and difficult to manage on his own, and the foreignness of it doesn’t help him feel grounded in his own body when he wakes up gasping in the middle of the night.

“It’s stupid,” he says.

“I’m sure it’s not,” Buck replies. “And I’m here, so you might as well just talk.”

I’m in love with you, Eddie thinks. And I can’t sleep. And I can’t shave. And everything hurts. And I just want to stop being afraid—

He swallows. He can’t say all of that. He can’t blow everything up that way.

So, he picks the easiest one.

“I can’t shave with my left hand and it’s driving me insane.”

Buck blinks. Then he laughs as the worry in his brow smooths out.

“That’s it?” He asks. “Well, that’s easy. I can do that. Come on.”

And that’s how Eddie winds up sitting on the bathroom counter with shaving cream all over his face while Buck wets a razor and steps between his legs.

His breath catches.

“You good?” Buck asks, his voice low. His eyes are soft and focused, and Eddie almost regrets everything because the proximity—god, the proximity. He’s been so cold since the shooting and Buck is so warm, heat spreading through Eddie’s body from every discrete point of contact. Buck tips his chin back and Eddie lets his eyes slip closed.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m good.”

The razor drags along his skin. Neither of them say a word, the main sound in the room the drip of the faucet when Buck rinses the razor between passes. They’ve always been physical with each other, but this sort of thing is new. Intimate.

Eddie aches.

His eyes open a crack to watch. Buck’s lower lip is caught between his teeth, and having every ounce of that focus on him is…intoxicating.

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Buck steps in closer, Eddie’s legs spread ever so slightly wider. A spark of heat flashes through him and he inhales sharply—Buck’s startled enough that his hand slips and the razor nicks Eddie’s jaw.

“Shit,” Buck swears. The razor clatters into the sink. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

Eddie opens his eyes the rest of the way. “It’s fine,” he assures. “What, you think I’ve never cut myself shaving before? It’s still better than I would have managed myself.”

“I’m—” Buck looks stricken, his fingers reaching out to gently cradle Eddie’s jaw only for him to snatch them back almost instantly, the tip of one faintly smeared with blood. His hand trembles.

“Buck,” Eddie says quietly. Buck’s eyes are fixed on the red smear and Eddie is sent back—

Watching his blood splash across Buck’s face and not realizing at first that it was his. Being half-delirious on the way to the hospital worrying that Buck had been hurt—

All this time, Buck’s been moving forward, pushing ahead, for Christopher, for him, for everyone, and Eddie knew he wasn’t entirely okay, knew he was fucked up from the moment in the hospital when he said I think it would have been better if I was the one who got shot, but since Eddie’s been home, Buck has seemed…better.

Maybe not. Maybe he’s been struggling to pretend as much as Eddie has.

Eddie twists around to grab the towel draped over the faucet and wets it enough to wash the rest of the shaving cream off his face, feels the sting of soap and water in the cut. And then he reaches out to grab Buck’s hand, wiping the blood off of his finger.

There’s something profane about blood staining skin. And something sacred in the act of washing it clean.

Eddie wonders if anyone helped Buck wash his blood off when he was in surgery. Taylor, maybe.

But no, that doesn’t feel right.

Buck probably did it himself. Alone.

“Hey.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s fingers. When Buck doesn’t look at him, he reaches out and curls his hand around the side of Buck’s neck, tips Buck’s chin up with his thumb to force him to meet his eyes. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m okay. No harm done.”

Buck breathes out shakily. His throat works, his face passes through a million stages—finally, his hands fall to the counter on either side of Eddie’s hips and his forehead drops to Eddie’s good shoulder. Eddie lets his hand slip around to the back of Buck’s neck, his fingers combing up through the short hairs there. He turns his head and he’s close enough to kiss the side of Buck’s, but he holds off. It feels like it would be too much. Too much when Buck doesn’t know how he really feels, what he really wants. But even just this—the closeness, the touch—is good. Needed. A balm to the itch under his skin.

When Buck turns his face into Eddie’s neck and inhales, Eddie thinks maybe Buck might need this just as badly.

“I’m okay,” he repeats, closing his eyes again as his fingers comb through Buck’s hair. “We’re okay. We’re okay.”

They stay like that for a long time. Buck’s phone rings out once, but neither of them moves to answer it. Eventually, Buck lifts his head and clears his throat roughly as he steps back.

Eddie’s hand falls away from Buck’s neck. He feels the absence keenly.

“You good?” He asks. Buck nods. His eyes are red.

“Yeah,” Buck replies. He pauses. Shakes his head. “No. But—can we just—can I just finish this for now? I want to finish this.”

Eddie watches him for a moment. Wets his lips. Then finally nods and passes over the shaving cream again.

“Sure,” he says. “I trust you.”

I love you.

Maybe…maybe eventually he’ll be braver. Maybe eventually, both of them will be free at the same time and he’ll be whole and healed, or at least something closer to it than he is now. Maybe eventually…love will be enough. Maybe.

For now, he has this.

[amysteryspot]

You Shelby women do pick your times - Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader

Request: hi! could I request an imagine with tommy from peaky blinders and Y/N, where the reader gives birth during a family meeting but there is danger outside so they can’t go to a hospital and tommy and his brothers have to deliver the baby and its all chaotic. Tommy and reader are married also. ✨

Requested by: Anonymous

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Female Reader

Summary: Since the beginning, (Y/N) knew that being with Thomas Shelby was no easy deal. What she could never imagine was that she would end up giving birth to their son in the middle of an offensive by a rival gang.

Warnings: swearing and mentions of childbirth, nothing too graphic

Word Count: 1024

A/N: Okay, this has been sitting on my drafts for a long time and I’m just going to post it before I change my mind. Not exactly how I wanted this to be, but I hope it’s good enough. As always, feedback is much appreciated. Hope you enjoy it!

(Y/N) = Your Name | (Y/N/N) = Your Nickname

English is not my first language and this wasn’t proofread by a beta.

If you want to be tagged in my stories, just send me a message.

(gif by the ever amazing @nofckingfighting and this time tagging right, for goodness sake 😂🙈)

Being married to a Shelby was both a blessing and a curse. Never a dull moment in the family’s lifestyle: war between gangs, a plan to gain more power, some enemy wanting to take revenge… The list was endless.

Being married to Thomas only made it worse—the man was unstoppable. His ambition knew no boundaries, he didn’t know when to stop working, and everyone seemed to rely on him in a way or another.

(Y/N) wasn’t even sure why the both of them ended up falling in love with each other, to be honest. He all but invaded the shop she worked in one day, all bloodied and bruised, gun in hand, trying to hide from some men from a rival gang because he was outnumbered. She scolded him for breaking in, not even bothering herself with his treats as she grabbed him by the collar, and guided him to the backroom, cleaning him, and patching him up.

He chased her for weeks after that, receiving a sound “no” to every invitation he made to her until he wore her out and she finally agreed to dinner. The rest was history.

They were married within a year and, as John gloated, she had already been pregnant at the ceremony. Here she was, nine months pregnant, sitting at a family meeting on the snug in the Garrison.

Tommy looked at her, checking if she was okay for the hundredth time that day, and (Y/N) did her best to smile reassuringly at him, but she knew that he noticed the tension on her shoulders and the restlessness on the way she rearranged herself on the chair every two minutes.

The contractions, the pain on her back, not being able to find a comfortable position to stay in… It was all normal, or so she had been told, at this stage of pregnancy.

Polly eyed her, cautiously from the other side of the table, and this time she didn’t try to hide the wince of pain.

At some moment, she had zoned out, a hand on her swollen belly as she tried to get acquainted with all the sensations running through her system at the moment. Looking at the watch again, (Y/N) swore under her breath, catching Ada’s attention.

“Are you alright, (Y/N/N)?” her sister-in-law asked in a worried tone, a hand gently patting her back.

Tommy’s eyes immediately fell on her as she nodded to Ada, noticing that Arthur and John had left the room. Her husband said her name at the same time shots were heard from the outside. Everybody backed down at the sound, trying to protect themselves.

She felt Tommy’s arm around her, Arthur saying something at the door of the snug, but all (Y/N) could acknowledge was the damp feeling between her legs.

“Fuck,” she swore, closing her eyes.

“What is it, (Y/N/N)?” Tommy asked voice filled with worry as his attention was divided between whatever was happening outside and his wife.

“She’s in labor,” Polly announced before she could say anything.

“Fucking hell, you Shelby women do pick your times,” Arthur exclaimed from the door, just for Ada to scold him,

“It’s not like we can choose it, you fucking prick!”

“Okay, John, Finn, push the table out of the way and get out.” Polly got up, giving out her orders before going to (Y/N)’s side.

“How did you know?” she asked when Polly sat down beside her.

The older woman smiled, “You were checking your watch every few minutes for the last hour and I saw you wince in pain more than once. Now let’s get you as comfortable as we can, we have a long way to go, sweetheart.”

It was difficult for (Y/N) to register anything that happened after that, it was too much at the same time for someone who was going through labor in the middle of an attack of a rival gang.

She heard her brothers-in-law calling for Tommy and Polly scolding him after he left the room. There were more shots, the men that were outside of the snug talking loudly something about them being outnumbered and surrounded.

All she could think about was the pain as she tried to follow Polly’s instructions. Then, a pair of arms moved her from her previous positions and she felt someone slipping into the space behind her.

“It’s okay, love, I’m right here with you,” Tommy said in a soothing tone, kissing her hairline and sweeping out the sweat from her forehead.

“Tom,” she groaned, settling into his embrace, and holding the hand he offered her.

“I know, I know it hurts, sweetheart. But I need you to push, okay. I need you to be strong like I know you can and push so we can have our baby with us in some minutes, eh.”

Between screams—hers and from the ragging fight outside—and Tommy’s words guiding her through the pain, a crying (Y/N) finally had their son in her arms.

“He’s so beautiful,” she said, elated, fingers gently tracing the baby’s features as she leaned against Tommy.

“Yeah, yeah, he is,” he agreed, smiling and kissing her cheek.

“We have to deliver the afterbirth and then, hopefully, we can get you home, sweetheart,” Polly announced as (Y/N) nodded at her.

.

“I can believe that he is ours,” Tommy exclaimed, making (Y/N) laugh.

They were both observing the baby that was sleeping in his father’s arms. Both leaning against the pillows on the headboard of Tommy’s old bed on Watery Lane. (Y/N) had her cheek pressed against her husband’s arm, the both of them in awe of the newborn.

“Oh, dear husband, I can assure you that he is ours. No doubt in that,” she joked, making the both of them laugh.

Tommy looked up at her, so much emotion and love in his eyes as he leaned in to place a sweet kiss on her lips that (Y/N) forgot for a minute about all the pain and tiredness that still plagued her body.

“I love you so much,” he whispered against her lips, their foreheads touching, “Both of you. Till my dying breath.”

.

Taglist: @stressedandbandobessed7771 @internalmess3 @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @giowritess​ @theshelbyclan​ @peakyxtommy​

[wormstacheangel]

For The Girl Who Has Everything

Masterpost link for Reelin’ In The Years: Here

AO3 Link: Here

wc: 2.4k Summary:  Claire is too mad to even look at Cas let alone talk to him. Dean knew he had to step up because two people with messed up childhoods and anger issues really need to spend more time together talking about their feelings.

When Chuck was defeated, a lot of people came to the bunker to celebrate. Those times were a big blur to Dean, his focus was on finding a way to save Cas, and it wasn’t until he saw Claire run down those steps that the world focused again. She smiled at him, a rare big grin, before her arms wrapped around his neck to bring him down for a hug with an intoxicating giggle.

‘She didn’t know,’ Dean thought as his arms hung loosely at his sides.

He hid his face in her curls, not knowing how to face another kid Cas left behind because of him. He was holding his breath when she pulled away to look at him. Her eyebrows were raised in a question that Dean didn’t hear. Didn’t want to hear.

She repeated it, “Dude, where’s Cas? Is the old man sleeping or something?”

‘Yes.’ Dean swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

He didn’t look at the audience around them when he finally opened his mouth to say, “Claire, Ca—” He couldn’t say his name. He felt like it would tear the fragile wall that was keeping him on his feet if he did. “I’m sorry.”

Dean watched as her face twisted into confusion, understanding, and then settling into anger.

She was trying to fight the tears, but they fell as she yelled, “No! No, you were—Where were you? Why didn’t you protect him?”

“He protected me. He—he saved me.”

She looked at him with round eyes, shaking her head as if not wanting to believe it.

“Then it should’ve been you! You should’ve died! Not him!” Dean flinched at the words that have been echoing in his head since that night. “It’s not fair!”

Claire’s angry fist collided with his chest. He flinched at every hit but didn’t back away as her punches became sporadic but still filled with grief. Maybe even guilt.

“I’m sorry.” Dean knew those words did nothing to comfort, but he couldn’t help but say them. “I’m so sorry, Claire.”

She screamed in frustration until her punches weakened, and he was holding her. Then, finally, she fell against him, her face hidden in his chest as her grip tightened on his shirt.

She didn’t stay after that.

She walked back up the stairs with Jody and Kaia following behind her. Jack tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t even look at him. Dean couldn’t blame her.

It’s hard to look at the kid when he reminded them of the person they lost.

Of course, Dean never told Cas any of this.

Since coming back, Cas had been dealing with the silent treatment from the killer Barbie. She only replied with the thumbs-up emoji, and when Cas was too much, she responded with the middle finger emoji. A little warning advising Cas to back off.

She only visited him once, but that was when Cas was in the hospital. She freaked out, yelled at him for being stupid, and then passed out by his bed only to leave the next morning like nothing ever happened. Still, it made Cas feel a little better knowing she still cared, but she was dealing with it her way. Or, as Cas liked to say, she was dealing with feelings the Dean Winchester way. Of course, he’ll argue it wasn’t true, but he knows he won’t win that one.

Now he was sitting awkwardly in Jody’s living room watching Kaia and Patience play with Jack on the floor while Claire and Cas had a yelling match in the privacy of the backyard. Well, Claire was yelling while Cas was trying very hard to keep his tone even, which only made Claire angrier.

“I’m done talking to you!” Claire slid the glass door open and stormed through the living room.

“Then try listening to me!” Cas followed behind her, watching as she walked straight past the living room and towards the front door. “Claire. Claire, where are you going?”

She whipped around to glare daggers at Cas, eyes wide filled with tears, but she still looked at him with a pained grimace. “Did you even think of me? When you were out there being a damn hero. Did you-Did you think of me?” Her voice breaking on the last word made Dean flinch.

“Claire, of course-”

“No. No, of course, you didn’t. Cause if you did, then you wouldn’t have-” She bit her cheek as tears started to fall. She stood tall, presenting as strong, as her expression hardened. “You left me, Castiel. And now I-I don’t,” She looked around the room. It was quiet as everyone watched the interaction before her eyes landed on a little Jack in Kaia’s arms. She clicked her tongue before turning back to the door. “I’m leaving.”

“Claire.” Cas tried following her, but Dean quickly rushed up to stop him. “Dean. I may not have my strength, but I will-”

“Calm down, Rocky,” Dean had a hand on Cas’s shoulder to stop him. “I just wanted to stop you from making it worse.”

“I don’t think I can. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.” He assures his boyfriend with a little smile, but Cas simply rolled his eyes at him. “Okay, you stay here. Talk to your son, and I’ll go talk to the other kid.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going to say to her?”

“I don’t know, but like you said before. Two fuck up’s just understand each other.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just let me handle this. You trust me, right?”

Cas made a face at that, not answering quickly enough before he said, “Just bring her home.”

“Gee. Thanks for the confidence, babe.”

Dean ran after Claire, forcing his way to her passenger side as she started to back up on the driveway.

“Thanks for waiting, kid. Where we going?” Dean buckled up just in time for Claire to slam the breaks. Unfortunately, he hit his head on the front dash because the damn seat was scooted forward, his knees were practically pressed against his chest, which made sense knowing a tiny Kaia would usually occupy the seat. “Ow.”

“You aren’t going anywhere. Get out.”

Dean ignored her scary and oddly familiar glare as he pushed the seat back so his legs could fit. “Oh, come on. My treat.”

She didn’t have time to argue because Cas walked out of the front door—his trust in him really was lacking—and Claire decided that dealing with Dean was much easier than having to talk to Cas again. But, of course, he would take that as a compliment.

Claire drove with loud rocker girl music vibrating the windows and didn’t stop until she finally parked outside some ice cream shop.

“I want a shake.” She sniffled, and Dean did his best to ignore her red blotchy eyes for her sake.

“Sure, kid.”

They drank their shakes and shared some fries while sitting on top of Claire’s ugly little red. Well, she sat, and he leaned, but either way, silence remained.

He didn’t want to pressure her to talk—she would probably lie if he did—but still, he wanted to ease the tension between Cas and her, salvage a relationship he knew was important to both of them, but he didn’t know where to start.

Maybe he could start with his own guilt.

“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat as he felt the smooth ice cream start to turn to gum down his throat. He looked down at his shake, lifting the straw up and down to hear the gloppy sound while trying to figure out what to say to her.

She hummed, “‘bout what?”

“Not telling you. About Cas. What happened to him.” He sighed and looked back at her. “Sorry. I should have called, but I wasn’t—I was a mess. I couldn’t be there for you. I couldn’t even be there for Jack. I should have-”

“It’s okay.” She waved her hand up to stop him. “I-I get it. I mean, it’s not, but whatever.”

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re mad?”

She rolled her eyes, once again the gesture was familiar, before slamming the shake on the hood and sliding off the car. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking so small as she kicked a pebble on the floor.

“He replaced me.”

Her voice was quiet. Almost like she didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“I know it’s stupid and-and I’m acting like a child, but…” She quickly sniffled again before running her hand through her hair nervously. Looking up to stare into the darkening sky, acting like everything was okay. “He’s not my Dad, but he’s the closest thing I have, and I just thought—I just thought that maybe he felt the same way.”

She shrugged, her lips pinching together as if trying to hold something back, before retaking control of her expression. A glare directed towards Dean replaced the lost child stare into the stars, but the lost child was still there.

“Kid…” Dean sighed, head scrambling for words.

“I’m not a kid.”

“You’ll always be a kid to me.”

Claire teased with a little smirk. She definitely learned this from Dean or Jody. “Whatever you say, old man.”

“Old—Claire.” She let out a breath of a laugh before rolling her eyes away from Dean. “I’m trying to be serious. Cas… he loves you. He-he loves you like you were his own.” She didn’t look at him, but he could see her face scrunch up, ready to argue. “He worries about you constantly, and Jack knows all about you because he won’t shut up about how awesome you are.”

“He says that? He says I’m awesome?”

“Well, awesome is my word, but you get the gist.” He turns to face her even though she doesn’t meet his gaze. “Cas may not be your Dad, but he loves you like a daughter. Sometimes—yeah, a lot of the time actually—he makes stupid decisions, but it’s cause he is trying his best. And he cares. That dumbass cares way too much about the damn world, but he’s also someone who would give up the whole world if it meant keeping you safe.”

“Stop making excuses for him!”

“Claire, you gotta believe me. He didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She finally turned to look at him. “But he did. He hurt me! He left me!”

“He left me too!” Dean raised his voice; it sounded broken to admit such a thing out loud. And to Claire of all people. He slumped down against the car again and looked at the ground to ignore her big blue eyes throwing sympathy glares his way. “He left me—more times than you know. And—and don’t tell anyone I told you this—but I…I was scared. Each goddamn time I’m scared that this may be it! That this time…this time he won’t come back to me.”

“But he did.” Her voice sounded so far away.

“Yeah. Had to work a little bit harder on my end, but I got him.” He reached over and patted her shoulder. “We got him back.”

Something in the way her eyes went cold and far away made his fight drain out. He didn’t know what else he could do or say, but he opened his arms just in time to have her fall against him. His face mushed into her curls while he hugged her tight into his chest.

“Were you mad at Cas?”

Dean thought about it for a second. “No. I mean, I was at first. That asshole got himself killed over and over again. Leaving me alone.”

“But you had Sam. Jack.”

“Yeah,” Dean pulled back and looked down at her. “Well, you had Jody. Kaia. Alex. Patience and even Donna. Made it any easier for you?”

“No.”

“No.” He chuckled while she hid her face from him, asking him to continue. “But I was mad at him. Real fucking pissed, actually. At him. At…at everyone. Sam and Jack didn’t even wanna be near me.” He tries to shake off those dark memories of screaming and feeling nothing but agonizing loneliness. “I just shut down and gave up on…a lot of things because he was gone. Couldn’t really see a point, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I get why you’re mad, Claire. Trust me, I do, but he’s back now.”

“And I’m just supposed to forgive him? Did you just forgive him?”

Dean shrugged, looking back down at her sad baby blues. Hoping she would understand and that she won’t tease him about it later on. “I didn’t want to waste any time being mad at him. I love him too much.”

“Gross.” She pushed him away this time, tucking her hair behind her ear before smiling at him. It reminded him of Jack’s little shy smile. “But I-I think you’re right. Maybe I’m done wasting time.”

They drove back with the music luckily a little lower but Dean just watched Claire drive with a growing smile on his face. He’s gonna have to admit that Cas was right, two messed up people can really relate and help each other out.

When they walked into the house, Dean took Jody from marching over to Claire to lecture her. “Just wait,” he whispered to her, and luckily she listened to him. They both held their breath as Claire walked over to Cas—who looked like he had been sitting in that seat freaking out since they left—and asked if they could try talking outside again. He blinked up at her a few times before nodding, following her to the backyard again.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief when the glass door closed behind them.

“Dean.” He looked up towards his kid, who reached for him from Kaia’s arms on the couch. Dean quickly walked over to pick him up, pressing a kiss to his head while trying not to let guilt eat at him. “Is Dad okay?”

“Don’t worry, bud.” Dean watched Jack’s eyes that showed how much he has experienced, how much he understood. “He’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

On the drive back, Cas had a smile plastered across his face. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about what happened, considering Cas walked in, ready to introduce Jack to Claire. Then Cas spent the rest of the night watching his kids getting along, looking the happiest Dean had seen him in a really long time.

“So, what did you and Claire talk about?”

Cas hummed before looking up at Dean as if just remembering that he was there. “Oh. Um, she just made me promise her something.”

“And what’s that?”

“Same thing I promised you. Don’t get dead anymore.”

“Oh. Good. Keep that promise.”

“I’ll do my best.” Cas looked back at Jack before he leaned over and pressed a kiss on Dean’s cheek. “I have a lot to live for now. A family.”

A family. Yeah.

Dean took a peek at Jack with the mirror and then watched as Cas changed his phone background pic to one of Claire spinning Jack around in the living room.

They were a real family.

[cazimagines]

Thank you so so much for the engineer headcanons! If I could request again for Niki Lauda? Could I get HCs for them reestablish physical affection/intimacy after his accident? Like I imagine his (gn) partner would have to be careful not to hurt him when the burns are still fresh & he might recoil a bit after seeing the scarring (& hearing people talk about it like in the movie) until they remind him like ‘hey I know a lot of things have changed but the fact I love you isn’t one of them’ & maybe they end up more affectionate than before - 🦇

Of course! Thank you for the requests bat anon, they are always so detailed! 😊

- The crash was the subject of all your nightmares. Every night you would wake up to see him crashing all again. Seeing his body disappear in the fire. You could feel the harrowing feeling of sickness and worry as they drag his unmoving body out of the car. Even at the distance they kept you at, you could see the blood, the melted skin and you knew things would never be the same.

- Now you were sitting next to his body in the hospital. It had been four days and he has still not woken up. You held his hand in yours as he laid there, and it was odd but you don't think you had ever held his hand this long before. Physical intimacy, apart from times in the bedroom, was rare for him. You knew he cared for you, he just didn't understand how often you needed to be reassured or treated nicely because of it

- Bandages covered his face tightly to the point where you could hardly see him. Maybe that was the point. When you had asked about the injuries on his face the doctors grimaced. They didn't want to tell you the extent of it and that was enough for you to know it was bad. They assured you that they had worked hard to heal it, treat the injuries as best as they could but the scaring would still remain.

- You were by his side when you felt his hand twitch in yours. You instantly looked over to see his eyes fluttering open. Pain swarming them instantly but when they glanced over to see you, there was a relief.

- You quickly went to get the doctors who told you to wait outside while they checked upon him. When they were done though you were allowed back in and you refused to leave for four hours. You rambled to him about anything, said anything in your mind, how worried you were for him, how much you loved him, how you would never leave him. He could hardly speak back, just gurgle but the way he squeezed your hand in his was enough for you to know he appreciated it. He appreciated more than you would ever know.

- It pained you to hear the yelps of pain coming from him as they removed the bandages. The way he grunted, practically screaming out in pain every time they moved a little bit from his burns. It broke your heart. You loved Niki and you loved the passion he had for the sport but at that moment, seeing how pained he was, you wished nothing more than that he never took up racing again.

- But it was Niki Lauda. Of course, he would. Much sooner than anyone had anticipated.

- You were with him every step of the recovery and you begged him not to, or at least wait till next year when he had recovered more but he couldn't wait, not when he was seeing James Hunt win those races and in the end, you didn't have the heart to tell him no. It made you worry with sick seeing him go back into that car again, his burns still aching as he wore the helmet but you were also so proud of him. So proud of his determination, courage, strength.

- Things were harder for the two of you though in many ways, especially intimately. Before while he lacked affection outside of the bedroom, she certainly made up for it inside. What they said about F1 drivers was true, even out of the car they had to go fast, and with the pent, frustration, he had every time James won a race or annoyed him, he would express with you that night, if you even made it to the bedroom that is.

- But since the accident, it was like his sex drive had vanished. At first, you were careful around him, anxious you might hurt him and that's why for the first few months but after that, you tried to instigate something he would brush it off, or even worse he would leave the room. He chooses to sleep on the sofa rather than in a bed with you when you tried to start something and it hurt you for you didn't know what was wrong. Did he not find you appealing anymore?

- The press were always following you and Niki, speculating about the two of you. Both you and Niki were private people and that's why the news wanted to know everything about the two of you. Now with Niki looking the way he did they were nothing if not tormenting towards you and Niki. Rumours speculated about the deterioration of your marriage, that you were cheating on him, even some claiming you were cheating on him with James!

- Everything came ahead one day in a press conference. "What did your partner say when they saw your face?" the journalist confronted Niki. You were watching from the sidelines and felt dread and anger pool in you from those words. "They said, sweeties, you don't need a face to drive. Only a right foot"

- Niki was good at laughing things off, he was brash, straight to the point but this journalist wouldn't let go of this. "I'm being serious. Do you really think your marriage can survive? With the way you look now?"

- The room became dead silent as anger flickered in Niki's eyes. "And I'm being serious, too. Which of your assholes said this?" but no one dared to speak up, "Fuck you, press conference is over" he spat out, tearing his microphone off and quickly storming out of the room where you swiftly followed.

- You called out to him yet he continued to walk. It was only when you grasped ahold of his hand did he finally stop to talk, and even then he refused to look at you, instead glaring at the side. "Niki what have I done wrong?" you murmur. "Was it something I said?" you ask but he shakes his head, "No love, it's not you" "Then what?" you ask attempting to raise your hand to cradle his face but he flinches away from your touch but he finally looks you in the eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm not stupid. I know I look like shrivelled walnut. I don't want you to pity fuck me or pretending to like how I look"

- "I don't care about your appearance Niki. I'm not fickle like that. I love you for who you are, the asshole underneath. Now stop being such a cry baby and kiss me already" you argue, a new fire in your eyes determined to make Niki realise just how much you care.

- He looks back at you with admiration, his doubts about himself, his appearance slowly flowing away as he looks into your lustful eyes. Leaning down he finally kisses you and in the backrooms of the garage, you lose yourself to each other, letting out all the pent us lust you two had.

- After that, you two were more affectionate, more than before his accident. Hand holding, hugs, kisses. He showed you with everything after realising just how much you cared for him and how much he loved you back. Even the press were posting news articles where they got pictures of you two being affectionate and for once you two didn't mind being in the public eye, as long as everyone knew how in love you two were and how you weren't going to let each other go.

TAGS: @shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird @zemosimp420 @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @mywinterivy

[robinofinashiro]

@megumitodoroki: “headcannons (maybe a drabble if you want??) for yan tamaki and yan kirishima with a pregnant darling? ( i saw the hawks and bakugo one, i really liked!!!)” 

characters: yandere kirishima ejirou, tamaki amajiki x fem! reader

request status: OPENED / all fandoms I write for are pinned to the top of my page as well as my rules! feel free to request as you’d like! just please be respectful of my rules and if you have any questions, personally message me!

kirishima ejirou: 

oooh, fuck, really? you got pregnant with HIS baby? fuck. i mean, kirishima is a great husband, for the MOST part. his issue 99.9999% of the time is that he’s too fucking clingy and it shows. even if he isn’t laying it on thick, everyone can see the way he is around you. 

lets say you weren’t home when he found out. you went through the five stages of grief when you found out. the stick was in your hand as you stared at the wall in panic. you were in no mindset to be carrying a child and you knew there would be consequences the longer you waited to tell him. 

at first, you planned to end it all and just put you and the fetus out of misery but then you realized.....kiri locked all the knifes, sharp objects, and anything you could think of hurting yourself with away. you knew regardless of what you were thinking, you were going to have his kid whether you wanted too or not. 

when kiri came home, you were still in the same position in the bathroom and holding onto the stick in your hand. when he realized what it was, he let out a high pitched scream. you’re pregnant !! like this wasn’t something he was expecting to happen just yet but here you were !! pregnant with his kid. 

the first thing he did was make an appointment for you. he needed to know how far along you were and when your projected birth date was. the doctor hadn’t been able to pinpoint what the sex was yet but he didn’t care !! his child was going to be the next red riot !! he was going to make sure of it !! 

months into the pregnancy, he started to fix up the nursery. while you were still miserable in the fact that you were pregnant, you knew you got nothing out of loathing from the news and tried to look at the silver linings in all of it. maybe kiri would lay off the rules and give you some freedom. he was already acting different. 

when you were in pain, he would be at your call. when he was at work, he made sure someone was there with you. what if something went wrong? he couldn’t trust you on your own. when your mood swings were bad, he would listen to you for once and keep his distance when you asked. when you were starving, he would get whatever it is you wanted. 

the nursery was red riot themed. little linings of red everywhere with black incorporated along with it. he had small figures of himself in the crib and on small shelfs around the room. kiri made sure to put pics of the two of you in the room so the kid could see the love you both had for each other. he even went out of his way to make mini outfits of his hero uniform that fit every time he assumed the kid would have a growth spurt. 

lets say you end up finding out that you were having not only a boy, they were going to be twin boys, kiri fucking fainted. he doubled everything in the nursery and even built an extra room for the second baby. kiri was ecstatic to say the least. he never thought he’d get twins !! you on the other hand went through another phase of grief knowing that you were carrying twins and that meant that kiri was going to be home more than you wanted him to be. 

when you finally go into labor, kiri dropped everything he was doing and fucking SPEED RAN to the hospital. when he got there, you were already under epidural and trying to calm yourself down. the pain was unbearable, even with the epidural. he could see the pain on your face and wanted to cry right along with you. you were even holding onto him, hoping that he did something right for once and tried to calm you down. 

when you finally gave birth, kiri bawled like a child. they were both out within a few minutes and while you held one baby, kiri held the other. they had his black hair and your skin tone. he had never seen three beautiful people in his life and here you were, his wife and kids. his life was complete. 

tamaki amajiki: 

okay cool, tamaki is not horrible yandere so you’re relatively safe for the most part. the thing with tamaki that makes it unbearable to live with is that you can’t do shit. he’s terrified of you even breathing the wrong way tbh. he won’t let you leave the house bc he’s afraid something will happen to you. 

the day you found out you were pregnant with his baby, it was bittersweet. you were excited bc although he had abducted and was holding you hostage in his home, tamaki as a person was not a horrible person. he wasn’t mirio and he def wasn’t nejire. you had been feeling sick for a while and every morning you woke up you ran to the bathroom vomiting your guts out. 

you refused to tell tamaki bc you knew he would go into full panic if you did. you just had told mirio in secret to bring you a test and drop it off. when he did, you quickly ran to the bathroom and took the test. you were clawing the counter in a bout of anxiety and as soon as the clear blue test rang up positive, you felt dizzy in the head and fell on top of mirio who had offered to stay. 

he quickly fanned you as he basically screamed to tamaki to get his ass home. tamaki had dropped everything he was doing and ran to his house. he had no idea why mirio was there and bc the emergency was abt you, he booked it even faster. when he finally got there, you were chugging back a hydroflask full of water and murmured to him the news. 

tamaki basically passed out three different times hearing the news. it took mirio, a call to nejire, and yourself to get him out of it. when he finally stopped fainting and realized what you had said, he gave you a long hug, murmuring that finally it happened. he had been wanting kids for so long, as weird as it sounds. he was nervous wreck almost all the time but he wanted to continue his family line with you and hopefully they ended up with your personality. 

he scheduled your first doctor appointment a few weeks later and at that appointment, the two of you had found out the exact date and gender. you were having a baby girl !! tamaki was dumbfounded. he was expecting a boy but he wasn’t complaining. he was getting a mini you !! another to love and take care of. that meant that no hero course for his baby girl. nope !! business or support course at the very least. 

her nursery consisted of small sun eater figures and outfits. every now and again, he would had lemillion and nejire-chan themed things. your daughter would have mini outfits of all three of them and would have plushies of the three of them in the crib. hell, even the crib set was the big three themed. he and mirio had painted a mural for her and added photos of all four of you to make sure that even if his daughter didn’t have anyone to be her friend, the four of you would always be there. 

he didn’t take your change in moods well. frankly, he was terrified of you. there would be days where you would unleash your anger like never before and other days, you’d be sobbing to him. the food you did make though was AMAZING. it was a weird combination that always turned out amazing at the end. 

fat gum and kirishima were surprised but excited to hear the news. they bought her a bunch of red riot and fat gum themed clothes as well and fat gum would even bring you food when he was in the area. you were so important to tamaki and he knew that so he had to make sure that you were also important to him too. tamaki upon telling mirio and nejire that you were pregnant told them they were the god parents so they were almost just as protective over you like tamaki was. 

the day you gave birth, tamaki was home with you. you were just laying in bed when your water broke and he drove you to the hospital like he was in fast and furious. you were taken back by his actions but he practically screamed at the nurses as soon as you arrived to help you. he made sure to scream to them to give you epidural the minute you asked and if any of them even slipped up once, tamaki would have blood on his hands a few days later, making sure he took care of those useless nurses and doctors. tamaki in this setting was not one to mess with, that’s to say the least. 

when you finally gave birth, he cried a bit but not as much as you expected. the time he did cry was when he held his daughter and looked at the two of you. his life was perfect. you had a healthy daughter and you were relatively okay yourself post-birth. the only other time he cried was when he made the three-way call to mirio, fat gum, and nejire to tell them you had finally given birth and all of you were okay. 

[daetaechanster]

Deku, Bakugo and Kirishima

Okay I wanna preface this post by saying first, this isn’t a post about Bakudeku (you’re itching to call me out, I feel it, but don’t do it) and while I will be mentioning the Kiribaku ship, it will be me mostly mentioning the FANS of this ship and the ideals around that ship. If this doesn’t apply to you, please gloss over it. This post was caused by once again, seeing SOME Kiribaku’s speak absolute garbage all over Tiktok. Wrong garbage mind you. Now let me start..

---------

When was it, that fans suddenly decided that for Kiribaku to be a ship, that suddenly people had to downplay Deku’s importance in Bakugo’s life. Yes, Bakugo use to bully Deku and he was wrong for it, he was a little fucking shithead for it. But that was in chapter one of the manga and season 1 episode 1 of the show. Where are we now? About to hit chapter 305 (leaks today whoo) and we’re about hit season 5. Things of changed, Bakugo has changed, and if you can pick up what Horikoshi is putting down, then you KNOW things have changed in their relationship.

Now what these Tiktoker Kiribaku’s like to claim is that Bakugo doesn’t care about Deku, doesn’t even LIKE Deku. That the only person Bakugo cares about is Kirishima... you can headcanon all you like that Kirishima is Bakugo’s most important person. You can 100% believe that and use it for your fanon content. But that is all it is, headcanon and fanon, because it isn’t true. And BECAUSE it isn’t true and is fanon, Do not come at people who believe CANON FACT and tell them they’re wrong and your headcanon is right.

Why does Bakugo’s relationship with Deku have to be diminished for Kiribaku’s ship to flourish? Why? When did that become a thing? because a LOT of people spread around this garbage like it’s fact.

Now i’m going to get into the major point these Tiktoker Kiribaku’s made, and what I think is the worst take i’ve ever heard. Ahem.

‘Kirishima cared about Bakugo the most which is why he went to Kamino to save him, and Bakugo cared about Kirishima the most which is why he took his hand’

I’m going to get into how WRONG this statement is. 

The person who found out that Bakugo was going to be kidnapped was Deku. Deku found out during his fight with Muscular and after the fight was over, his first thought was to get Kota to safety so he could save Kacchan. He told the pussycat lady to alert everyone to Kacchan’s possible kidnapping, which is where Kirishima heard about it.

As you’d expect, Kirishima got upset and instantly wanted to go out and help protect Bakugo. Why? because he is his FRIEND. Canonly they’re not together so we are going forward with their platonic relationship, which is canon. He wanted to save his friends, as did others in the group, but he wanted to save him most. But he couldn’t. (Something we later learned was a trigger for Kirishima in season 4)

Because Deku was out on the field, he was able to go and try to save Bakugo. That boy ran around, in absolute pain to the point that some of the class commented on the fact he should be unconcious right now. But that didn’t matter because he wanted to save Bakugo. And he tried his hardest, despite being in pain and his arms not working, Bakugo gets taken, telling Deku ‘Not to come’. I like to believe he said that because Deku was injured and WOULD be killed following him, because Bakugo knows Deku would follow him into fire. Like Deku knows Bakugo best, Bakugo also knows Deku best (minus the whole looking down on him stuff, wtf Bakugo.) But because that was never established, we’ll leave that up to interpretation.

Something these Tiktokers used in their arguement was that Kirishima was the one who decided to save Bakugo, nobody else. Which.. just isn’t true at all. Another thing they said was DEKU DIDN’T PLAN TO SAVE HIM. Again, not true.

Lets go back to before Deku was in hospital and Bakugo was kidnapped. When Bakugo was gone, Deku SCREAMED in absolute DISPAIR (these tiktokers also commented that Deku hates Bakugo and all I can do is LOL, won’t even entertain that.) Deku was in such ABSOLUTE DISPAIR that he instantly went into shock. Shock, that he said, lasted for the 2 whole days in hospital, he couldn’t remember a thing. The only moment he remembers WHY he was in shock, was when the whole class were there and Todoroki told him about it.

Also at this point, while Deku is in shock, Kirishima and Todoroki had 2 whole days with a clear head to decide they were going to save Bakugo, consequences be damned.

What happened after remembering Kacchan was taken? Deku came out of his shock and burst into tears. He failed to save Kacchan and it HURT him. And then Kirishima mentions the rescue.. the rescue that he AND TODOROKI PLANNED. Do people not remember that while Kirishima had decided he was going to save Bakugo, that Todoroki ALSO had the same plan?? That if Kirishima hadn’t intended to save him, Todoroki would have mentioned the plan to Deku himself???

I 100% believe, as should ANYONE who knows Deku as a character and as someone who’s always cared about Bakugo despite him being an asshat, would have also come up with a plan to save Bakugo if he hadn’t been in hospital with damaged arms and in complete shock and disassociation.

I now want to point out a panel that people seem to forget:

For people to believe Deku doesn’t care as much as Kirishima does about Bakugo, how is it your boy is saying the complete OPPOSITE statement???

Now skip forward to finding Bakugo and AFO. While Kirishima (and Todoroki) had decided they were going to rescue Bakugo, it was Deku who came up with the plan to get Bakugo out of there. Deku planned the best possible way to get Bakugo out of there and not damage his pride in the meantime. Deku could have been selfish and have reached out for Bakugo, because we all know Deku wanted to have been the one to reach out his hand. But he didn’t because Deku knows Bakugo best and didn’t want to possibly upset him.

Bakugo, who feels incredibly insecure when it comes to Deku, how do you think he’d have reacted if Deku saved him A SECOND TIME? First the sludge villian and now Kamino? I’d wager that Deku would expect any chance of reconsilliation between himself and Bakugo to have died that moment if he’d reached out to save him.

Lets be honest, Bakugo would have taken ANYONES hand to get out of there and i’ll explain why that is true in a moment.

Another thing people seem to forget is that Bakugo didn’t tell Kirishima he was the one who should hold his hand out. Bakugo didn’t tell Kirishima that he would only take his hand. No, DEKU said this. Deku who knows Bakugo better than ANYONE. He knew, because currently his and Bakugo’s relationship was rocky, that he couldn’t risk Bakugo’s pride getting in the way of the rescue. So DEKU chose Kirishima to reach out his hand, because Kirishima isn’t someone Bakugo feels threatened by. Deku is Bakugo’s biggest insecurity, him reaching out was a risk Deku wasn’t going to place over saving Bakugo. 

Again, Bakugo didn’t mention ANY of this, he didn’t even know. So how anyone came to the conclusion that canonly, this meant that Bakugo believed Kirishima to be more important than anyone else I will never know.

And when they did save him, Horikoshi put in a VERY BIG CLUE that a lot of people gloss over.

That teeth grit there was put INTENTIONALLY to show that even with Kirishima’s hand out.. he still didn’t want to take it, he didn’t want to have been saved. This is why I believe that he would have taken ANYONE’S hand. For anime fans, this teeth grit was cut out to instead focus on how close Shigaraki got to grabbing Bakugo. 

Bakugo isn’t stupid, he knew he couldn’t stay. For one, he already mentioned that he was in All Mights way by being there. So he HAD NO CHOICE but to take Kirishima’s hand. And when he was saved, he addressed EVERYONE for saving him, not just Kirishima.

Now, for non manga readers, you will have to wait until season 5 to see Bakugo and Deku’s relationship flourish and I don’t want to spoil you. I’m so excited for people to see what their relationship is going to turn into and why it’s one of the most popular canon relationships in the show (and how it’s grown to be one of the biggest ships)

I will give you this though, to indicate just how much Deku means to Bakugo now without spoiling it for anyone. Anyone whos read the manga should know how Bakugo feels about Deku.

For anyone who feels that Bakugo taking Kirishima’s hand indicated how important they were to each other, i’d like to hope you have the same energy for that cover for Vol.29 of the manga drawn by Horikoshi himself. If Bakugo went back, he would have taken Deku’s hand all along. At the river, in Kamino, during the fight. Bakugo wants to hold Deku’s hand now, he wants Deku’s friendship, he wants Deku, and that is platonically canon.

The last thing I want to say is that Kiribaku as a ship can still exist without ignoring how much Bakugo and Deku mean to each other. Kirishima and Bakugo are friends, maybe even best friends canonly (though honestly i’d argue that Kaminari is closer to Bakugo but that’s my personal opinion.)

Deku’s best friends are Iida and Uraraka, but Bakugo is still the person he loves and cares about the most.

Bakugo’s best friends are Kirishima and Kaminari, but Deku is still the person he loves and cares about the most.

Do you see people push Bakugo down to make IzuOcha work? no.

Wanna headcanon that Kirishima is Bakugo’s most important person? Go right ahead. But don’t push it on others as fact when it’s not.

If you have to come to other peoples spaces and force your headcanon on them and disminish the utterly beautiful relationship thats blossoming between Bakugo and Deku, then maybe you shouldn’t be in the fandom. Horikoshi wants you to know how important these boys are to each other and if you can’t see that, don’t comment publically because you sound dumb.

Ship Kiribaku, but do not attack others for things that you have WRONG.

Tldr; Stop erasing Bakugo and Deku’s canon relationship to big up your Kiribaku ship and don’t force that on other people.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Shield (one-shot)

Synopsis: To the new Captain America she might just be a human shield. But Bucky can see there’s more to it. What he can’t understand is why she stays.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, lil bit of fluff

Warnings: mentions of blood and guns, swearing, torture, low mental state etc.

Word count: 3591

I am going absolutely feral about the fact that a portion of the series takes place in Latvia as I am Latvian :D Just seeing the signs and streets (which are not really ours cause they filmed in Prague, but are similar enough I can envision it), especially because we’re such a small country is amazeballs, so to be in such a huge show with my MCU faves is insane. Had the same kind of reaction to Brooklyn Nine-Nine with Nikolaj and the Captain Latvia episode. Riga hammer for the win :D 

P.S. John Walker is not Captain America cause he does not posses America’s ass. Also Zemo is one hundred percent Bucky’s and Sam’s sugar daddy. I won’t accept any dispute over this.

P.S.S. please also remember - John Walker is a character not a real person. John Walker is played by an actor who is doing his job the same way the actor who played Joffrey did. Do not harass him etc. but rather appreciate the insane talent he has. This place is a Wyatt Russell stan place.

P.S.S.S. Kinda spoilers for the show so if you haven’t seen it, don’t read this.

He hated him. Bucky genuinely hates him. He never thought he had despised something or someone so much, not even HYDRA, as much as he hated John Walker – the new Captain America. He wanted to scream at that, at the fact that this arrogant asshole was carrying Steve’s shield, the symbol of freedom and everything good, while in reality, he embodied none of what it stood for.

           Walker and what he’d learned his sidekick was Battlestar, had swooped in from a helicopter while Sam and he had been following the Flag-Smasher vehicles, and, well, they hadn’t been a lot of help, which he shouldn’t be too surprised about. But what he had been surprised about was when they’d all been thrown off of the semi-trucks and scattered all around a field, someone else had been in the mix as well. 

A young woman with Y/H/C hair and determined Y/E/C eyes was rushing towards them, screaming for them to stay on the ground. When Bucky looked behind, he could see why given how one of the radicalised people had jumped from the trucks and was barreling at them with an automatic cocked at them

           But it wasn’t Walker who jumped up running past her, shield at the ready to take on the fire. No. He just remained sitting as the stranger kept her pace. She leapt at the two with a grace of a cat, pushing him and Sam back to the ground and immediately got blown back by the received ammunition, gasps leaving her mouth as the bullets entered her body.

           Sam’s wings extended and created a body length shield as Bucky snatched one of the knives strapped to the man’s side and flung it with deadly accuracy into the Flag-Smasher’s neck, dropping him to the ground. 

           There was blood when he looked back. There was so much blood, and once again it was all over Bucky’s hands, and he couldn’t breathe properly, pressing down on her abdomen and shoulder and side, and. oh god, there were too many bullet wounds...

           Two wide Y/E/C eyes stared back up at him, mouth gasping down shallow breaths as he held down on her wounds trying to stop the blood from pouring out. God, there was so much of it.

           “Don’t close your eyes,” he gritted, his body trembling. “Well get you help. You’ll be alright.”

           But then Walker spoke up, and Bucky saw read because of a different reason. “She’s fine, just leave it.”

           His head snapped to see that arrogant bastard cross his arms as he hissed. “Leave it? She’s fucking bleeding out! She took those bullets for you, and you just want to leave it?!”

           Walker just smirked, nudging his chin towards her body. “You’ll see.”

           “You let her use herself as a shield while you did nothing!”

           “Yeah,” he scoffed. “Because that’s her whole point.”

           And that’s when Bucky felt her skin shift underneath his hands. Slowly the blood stopped pouring out, Y/N’s breathing evened, and her eyes closed not because death was calling, but because of relief as the regenerative cells kicked into high gear.

           Bucky gazed in wonder as the wounds closed up, and when only scar tissue remained he snapped his blue eyes to her, Y/E/C ones already staring back at him.

           “Who are you?” he whispered

           “A human shield that’s what,” Walker answered in her stead, but Bucky just sneered.

           “I asked who, not a what. She’s a fucking person.”

           Once more he looked back down and saw a strange look in her eyes. It was as if she was trying to decipher what those words meant, but once the shock from such a huge assault had ended, she gulped down a breath and gave him a crooked smile. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

           A lopsided one came to grace his own face. “I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”

           “Bucky.” Her eyebrow rose. “Well, it’s very nice to finally meet you.”

           He smiled at her, and not the painful smile he’d given the senator before her arrest, but a real genuine smile, one that made the skin around his eyes crinkle. 

           “And it’s very nice you didn’t decide to die on us.”

           “Yeah, yeah, can we cut this meet and greet shorter?” Walker interrupted them, and if Bucky hadn’t been holding onto Y/N’s shoulder as she tried to rise from the ground, he would’ve punched the guy. 

           “I told you she was going to be fine.”

           Bucky threw him his best murder glare but stopped when he felt Y/N squeeze his hand as if saying ‘don’t bother.' His brows furrowed in confusion. She just shook her head.

           “We should still find you a hospital.” He talked to Y/N directly, ignoring what the new Captain was saying. “It doesn’t matter that you can survive something like that, I’d rather make sure you’re checked out by professionals.

           “It won’t be necessary.” Walker slipped the shield on his arm and nudged his partner to start walking with him, pretty much expecting the rest to follow. “It was her choice anyway to take the hits.”

           “It doesn’t mean she should!” Bucky pretty much hollered, startling even Sam.

           At that, he saw Y/N’s eyes widen and her head snap up to look at him. All the breath got knocked out from Bucky at the emotion in her face. It was like she didn’t believe what he was saying like she didn’t know it was a possibility to not put her own life before someone else’s, that maybe someone is supposed to do it for her, someone could protect her.

           “She absorbs fucking bullets and infuses them in her body.” John mocked. “I’d say it’s a win-win on both sides. Everyone else stays safe, and she gets stronger, right? The whole bleeding thing is a hitch in the system, but our guys say with enough scuffles that should stop as well.”

Walker looked at her. Y/N just gulped, staring back down at the ground between her knees. 

           When he looked back at everything the moment he’d seen Zemo in the cell and the asshole had said something still remained in him from the Winter Soldier, came back to connect with the scene. He’d hated that sentence because Bucky knew it was true. The Soldier would always be a part of him, but that was what therapy was for – to accept it and let go. But in that minute, he wouldn’t have cared one bit if the ruthless assassin came to the surface if it meant snapping Walker’s neck like a stick. 

           He treated the woman as if she was below him, as if Steve’s shield somehow made him better than her, better than anyone, and yet, even when he’d been given the privilege to carry it, he’d rather use a human person, no matter if they had powers, as a shield.

           A soft hand touched his side, and Bucky looked at Y/N, his breathing heavy at Walker’s words. 

           “I’m alright.” Her voice was softer than he thought it would be. Maybe it was because she was trying to stay out of John’s earshot, but even the gentle whisper made something in Bucky’s chest stir. “Thank you,” she said. “For checking up on me.”

           Bucky stiffly nodded, standing up and offering both his hands for her to take, but even with that, it took Sam holding her by the waist to be able to stand. The Falcon had to catch her, in fact, when she took her first steps, an awkward chuckle escaping her mouth. 

           “It’s been a while since a hit like this.”

           Sam quirked a brow and smirked. “You always have a tendency to do stupid shit like that?”

           Y/N’s whole body relaxed as he said so, and a sting went through Bucky’s own. How bad were they treating her if basic kindness and a little bit of joking made her feel so safe?

           Just as he was about to ask her more, to offer to take her with them, Walker spoke up again. That conversation was an absolute disaster, and the fact that Walker thought Sam and him would actually ever consider working with him on this mission was idiotic. 

           It ended with the two Avengers watching how Walker threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulders, making her knees buckle with the weight, her from still regaining strength, but he didn’t care, just dragged her along with him and Battlestar.

           “Are we just gonna let ‘em do that to her?” Bucky sneered, arms crossed watching their retreating forms over the field.

           He felt Sam glower next to him. “There’s not much we can do.”

           He hated that he was right.

           Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. One meeting had left him shaken to the core not just about her, but about how there was something deeply off with the new Captain America, that if they didn’t take action something horrible would happen, not just because of his arrogance, but because of some seed he could feel had rooted itself in the other man’s heart.

           But by that point they’d been in Madripoor, had met Sharon who’d been on the run from the US government ever since the dismantlement of the Avengers, and had now followed a lead to where the Flag-Smashers had settled in Latvia.

           Zemo seemed to not only have a billion cars, but a billion apartments scattered around the world, this one being in the heart of the Old Town. 

           Bucky was on the roof looking over the twinkling lights of the city. His bed had been too soft as it always was, and even the floor wasn’t it for him, not a wink of sleep coming his way as his thoughts were flooded by Y/N.

           Well, the sleep part wasn’t true. He had been able to drift off, only to dream of how the woman didn’t get better, didn’t absorb those bullets and had died right in his arms. That’s when he decided he needed a breath of fresh air.

           The sound of shuffling feet made him whip around from the scenic view only to be greeted by a form he’d now recognise in a full-on ski-suit in pitch-black darkness.

           “What are you doing here?” Bucky stood up wanting to stride over and check her for any wounds she might’ve gotten while around Walker. Any new scar on her body would mean the same number of teeth he’d knock from that Walmart-version-Captain-America’s mouth.

           “Came to warn you.” She shrugged, soft winds making her coat flutter. “John and Lemar are resting, but come morning they’ll be on your ass, so you might wanna make a move now.”

           Bucky shook his head. “I don’t get you. You’re nothing like them, I can see that you know how wrong it is, for him to be carrying that shield, that he’s making a mockery out of the name and legacy Steve built, and yet…”

           Y/N hung her head lifting her shoulders, hands in her pockets. “I gotta do what I gotta do.”

           “He’s an asshole,” Bucky hissed. 

           Y/N gave him a painful look. “I know. But I don’t have anywhere to go. Besides… you have your own way of making amends. Well, this is mine.”

           Dark brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

           She let out a painful chuckle, not because of the memories now plaguing her waking thoughts, but because her wounds were still healing, and instantly Bucky came closer and took her hand, running a soothing thumb over her palm. Wounds he was sure were new.

           Y/N froze at his touch, and Bucky was about to pull away when she put her own thumb over his. He had to bite back tears at how tenderly she was looking down at his palm. Like no one had ever comforted her when it hurt. 

           “When the Blip happened,” she started, voice low and quiet. “I watched how my sister and mom disappeared right in front of my eyes. We were driving over the Golden Gate Bridge, and there was a truck before us. It was carrying loads of metal scraps. The driver of the truck got blipped as well.” She swallowed harshly. “I can still feel how the beam went through my shoulder, how it broke the bone and skin, and how I just wanted to disappear like they had just to make the pain stop. But I didn’t. It hurt so bad.” Y/N looked at Bucky, tears running down her face. “It was burning and tearing, and so much pain… and all I could do was scream, but no one heard me because everyone else was screaming, and I was just one of the thousands doing it.”

           Y/N shook her head, and when Bucky leaned closer to wipe away the tears, she sighed at the feeling. “I passed out sometime later. From the pain the… well, everything. And when I woke up, I heard people outside the door, trying to rip it open, I could see red lights flashing, but where I expected that beam to be was nothing. When I looked down at myself there was a hole in my shirt, but instead of a hole in my shoulder, a round scar was the only thing left from that moment.”

           “They took me to the hospital, and when they tried to put an IV in, my body just swallowed up the needle.” She took a shaky breath, and Bucky squeezed her side. ‘Go on’ he tried to convey with the touch. ‘I’m here.’

           “That’s when the tests started. They were fine at first. Blood samples when they managed to get any, saliva and all that good jazz… but then they started poking. And poking turned into slicing which turned into stabbing until I was their personal pincushion, as they tried to see what my body would and wouldn’t take.”

           Y/N was shaking by that point, but not because of the wind that had picked up, but because of anger, of the horror, she’d had to go through. It took everything in Bucky to remain calm and let her continue.

           “Two years they did that. And then one time they went a bit too far. Someone had stolen a vibranium spear from the Dora Milaje.”

           Bucky’s breath got caught in his throat. He wasn’t moving a muscle.

           “They wanted to know if I could absorb the strongest metal on Earth, so slowly…” Her hands went to her front, to the white blouse she was wearing and started popping open the buttons. Bucky was just about to protest when he understood.

           “They pushed the spear too far.” Her finger ran over a rhomb shaped scar right in the centre of her chest. Right over her heart. “Pushed it right through.”

           “How did you survive?” Bucky was appalled, but in awe at the same time. 

            Y/N shook her head. “I didn’t. I died then and there on the table. They took my body and dumped it in some ditch. From my own calculations, it took me about a day to heal. They’d sown in a scalpel in my stomach a few hours before, so I’m assuming it used that as the binding material for the cells.”

“I was so angry.” She looked at him. “At everyone, at myself, that I couldn’t help my family, that I allowed them to just use me like that, I just went off the deep end. I did so many bad things…” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I read about the Winter Soldier, y’know. His whole thing was efficiency, quickness. I – “ She choked on her words. “I wasn’t. I wanted to drag it out. Wanted to find each and every one of the bastards who laid their hands on me and make them suffer as I did.”

           Bucky’s hand settled on her waist as he pulled her closer, feeling her body keen at the motion as she looked for reassurance. “I’m not a good person, Bucky. This.” She motioned with her head to her body. “This is my repentance for what I did.”

           “What he’s doing is not right. What they’re making you do is not right.” Bucky shook his head. “Just because it might not kill you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. No one had any right to touch you.”

           “It’s the price I pay for what I did.”

           “Pain?”

           Y/N nodded. “Eye for an eye. Pain for the pain I caused.”

           Bucky shook his head. “That’s not right.”

           “How else am I supposed to do this?”

           “By getting help yourself first.”

           Y/N’s eyes widened, and Bucky sighed. He understood how impossible that thought seemed, that someone who’s done so much bad could deserve help from others, but he understood her situation better than anyone. “Being here,” he said, “being able to say these things… I can only do that because I got help. It was mandated by the state, but nevertheless…” Both chuckled at that, and Bucky’s heart lightened at the sound, at the genuine sound of joy from her. “But the therapy… I hate to say this, but it helped. It’s not easy. I sometimes detest going to the sessions, and I might be failing them quite miserably right now, especially with rule number two –“

           “What’s rule number two?”

           “Don’t hurt anyone,” Bucky mumbled. “And I’ve broken it quite a lot recently, I know that which will either make me end up behind bars or will add more therapy sessions to the list, but I’m not afraid anymore.”

           Y/N gulped, gazing just as intensely at Bucky as he was at her. “Of what?”

           “Of reaching out.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Of asking for help. Of understanding that I deserve help, and I deserve to receive it.”

           “Yeah, but the thing is I’m not like you.” Y/N looked away from him. “No one forced me to do this, no one brainwashed me. I did everything out of my own volition. Me. No one else. You deserve that help because HYDRA did all those things to you. You are a victim of war. I’m not. All those horrible things I did… I did them. Not some alias of mine.”

           Bucky’s heart hurt at the fact that Y/N couldn’t see she was a victim of her own circumstance, and how now the government was punishing her for it. And that’s when another brick hit him – it was exactly like Isaiah’s situation. Both came from marginalised groups, parts of society where the ones in power have been trying to oppress and control them for as long as he could remember, he just couldn’t see it. He could see Sam’s point of view now. Maybe not as clearly as he should, but he was starting to wipe away the fog.

           “They used you just as much as HYDRA used me.” He asserted, and Y/N’s eyes widened at his sure statement. “Just because a pile of shit has a bowtie on now, doesn’t mean it’s no longer a pile of shit… Come with us.” Bucky’s forehead pressed to hers. “Let’s do this the right way.”

           “It’s mandated by the US government that I stay by John’s side and help him.”

           Bucky smirked at that, nudging his nose against Y/N’s. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re in Latvia then. Besides Captain America has no pull here.”

           She laughed, warm breath slipping over Bucky’s skin, and he had to close his eyes as the thought of her breathless and underneath him invaded his mind. “Unfortunately, this deal stands whether I’m inside the borders of USA or outside.”

           Y/N looked over the skyline to where the country’s national monument stood. A woman, hands up in the air outstretched with three stars in her palms, with words she couldn’t understand when she'd arrived etched on the granite at the bottom. Some local had translated them for her. For the Fatherland and Freedom.

           After the blip and the experiments, she didn’t feel like she had a home. She’d been imprisoned and prodded like some lab bunny to see what her body could do. What her body could be used for.

           Bucky followed her gaze as she kept looking at the statue. Different stars, different saying, but still with the same meaning of what he saw when he looked at the Captain America shield. Freedom. Justice. For the love of their home.

Something deep started to burn in her chest, and even Bucky could feel the shift. 

           A ferocious look appeared in her eyes as she looked at him. “Let’s get that shield.” She wasn’t going to let Walker taint that star, she knew would happen if he had it for much longer.

           They’d had a single meeting beforehand, and during that half-hour, he’d been terrified for more than two-thirds of the time about how Y/N might die in his arms, die because she’d taken bullets meant for him. 

           He was so glad she hadn’t, not because it would be another life lost because of him, but because he felt like he’d found a twin flame – someone who’d understand him and his troubles. Someone he could help.

           Maybe that could be the true way he could make amends – help someone in the same situation.

           Bucky smiled.

           Y/N did so too, and his heart skipped a beat looking at the woman.

           Her body might be able to absorb the metals piercing it, Walker might call her a human shield, but he knew she was so much more than that. And he’d spend however long it took him to prove so to her. Maybe even in more ways than one.

_________________________________________________________________

Please reblog if you like this. For whatever reason my Bucky fics aren’t appearing in the tags :(

Tags: 

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​  @m-a-t-91​ @dalilx​ @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​  @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​ @strangersstranger​

Bucky tag list: @who-cares-rn @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @watch-out-for-thorns @potentially-kinetic @thatonegirljessy99 @mrsalh32611 @horrorx570ximagines @the-nargles-made-me-do-it @pooslie @httpmcrvel @purplebananatragedy @pxrrishly @parker-barnes-af @skulliebythesea @california-grown​ @belongsto-prachi​ @hello-i-am-insane​ @hopeinahotbox​

Marvel tags: @nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae​