#also get prepared for her to become obsessed with some fucking guy

[butch-chastity]

im sorry but I really do not think james gunn is going to treat cass well and the idea that he is even remotely interested in her fills me with dread

[n3ptoonz]

Part 2 of MK1 men pushing the reader to a wall while kissing them, please? 😊

i mean i GUESS i can do that 🤭 since you asked so nicely! part one here

how liu kang, reiko, sub-zero, havik, johnny cage, scorpion, and geras go about pushing reader to the wall while kissing them

just know it may not show the long pauses i took while writing this but know IT HAPPENED!! THE THINGS I DO FOR YALL🫵🏾don't say i never did none😫

havik's regeneration mentioned. i've also been told havik looks like that on purpose so like, let's act like he can make his face go back to where it was for the sake of shits, giggles, and pandering XD

tags: @luna18night20 @momopad

warnings: suggestive, fluff elements, sphinx tried her best, there will not be a part 3 im sorry y'all 💔 BUT shao and kenshi are here

Liu Kang

Liu Kang was rarely ever rough with you. In fact, the only way he'd do it is if you either verbally say it's fine, or if he knows you're poking the bear just to get a reaction. And when you get a reaction...there's no going back. You've kissed with your back to the wall several times, and every time was gentle and loving and laced with care. However, if you've presented that you were that desperate for him to give you the attention you deserve, he will gladly be a little rougher in pushing you back with his lips on yours. Just be prepared for him to leave some handprints on your waist.

Reiko

Reiko is a warrior. Hardened by battle and discipline, so the way he kisses you usually starts off that way. He can't help it. Not only is it the way he was raised and what he was told a man is "supposed to be", but it also came with how his partners were to be treated. When it came to you his sense of duty and protection spiked every single time. So here you were, well within his unintentional bear hug as your back was against the wall. His kisses always started off like he was going away to war/fight (because he usually was) but he would eventually melt and become smoother because you're by his side.

Sub-Zero

Bi-Han, a truly complex character. I believe that whoever captures his heart will be the main obsession in his life. In this case, it is you. He constantly needs to be on you, around you, see you, hear you, you name it. He can't get enough of your lips and this is especially apparent the way he's almost always pushing you to the wall while kissing you. Can we blame him? He's a tall hunk of touch-starved and the only thing that will satiate that hunger is roughly making out with you every chance he gets all while still knowing how to treat you like a porcelain antique.

Havik

Havik...this guy. Even though I'm pretty sure it's not canon I still feel like he'd regenerate and degenerate for fun and for different purposes/occasions. For the sake of my sanity I can say I found him fine as hell before his face got fucked up, and so did you. But you don't mind him either way because you love his crazy ass. Allow me to set the scene: You say something snappy to get his attention and boom...he regenerates his facial wounds just to back you against the wall and shut you up with pure smugness and arrogance behind his kiss. But, this is what you wanted, nonetheless. And you'd do it again!

Johnny Cage

Who's to say Johnny Cage wouldn't try to get you in one of his films just so he could keep getting takes of him backing you to a wall and kissing you? For Elder God's sakes, he's the one who wrote the script! And of course it's something dramatic like him being a villain that captures the hero and tries to convince them to ditch their position to be with him. Dude would totally think he's Loki (did i say that bc i think it would be hot if Loki did that to me? ..don't worry about it!) He's for sure fucking up his takes on purpose and you know this, but you only pretend to be irritated and maybe even fuck up a few yourself.

Scorpion

Kuai Liang, the romantic this man is. Like Liu Kang, he's never rough with you. Except it would take a little more convincing to let him know it's fine for him to act on his feelings when he wants to. With him, his kisses are slow and gentle. They will always start off like that even if he has a hard day. All he wants is to hold you, but it's like whenever your back hits the wall a gear starts turning in his brain. The idea of you having nowhere to go and enjoying it? Not even an Elder God is pulling him from your embrace. He gets handsy and a lot more affectionate around this time; he's kissing your face, neck, and shoulders too, because why the hell not?

Geras

Geras is a special case. He's an immortal who has never experienced romantic love before. So naturally you will have to teach him some things and even point out things he has observed that can be taken as romantic love. But he's still a man who has seen a lot, so this guy knows what kissing is and how to kiss. Surely you didn't think this giant fine ass immortal being didn't know how to treat his partner? Crazy talk! Understand that when you introduce the classic wall kiss by showing him what to do, he's leaning in to kiss you as he lifts you in his arms with no effort to be found and there won't be kissing going on much longer!

a/n: thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed! collapses onto the ground

[anonymouspuzzler]

you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

[dellalyra]

𝓀𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓇𝑒 - j j k

They say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach - but can the jjk characters cook?

ɢᴇᴛᴏ ꜱᴜɢᴜʀᴜ

Geto can cook - if by cooking you mean instant ramen or maybe if he’s feeling adventurous, a fried egg. He is fully aware of his lack of culinary skills and doesn’t even attempt to cook anything.

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ

This man - domestic god. But - don’t come into his kitchen. This is not a cute ‘hey let’s cook together’ scenario. He is in the zone - will serve you a whole 3 course meal with perfectly paired wine. Incredible skills, makes the best bread but absolutely will not allow you near him while he cooks.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ

Eh - can make sandwiches, maybe some pasta dishes. Simple stuff, healthy stuff too. He’s not awful, not great. Definition of a week night cook.

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

No.

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ

An incredible cook. Can’t bake to save his life but fantastic otherwise. Also, a surprisingly tidy and efficient cook? Not always the healthiest, lots of really yummy stuff though.

ɴᴏʙᴀʀᴀ ᴋᴜɢɪꜱᴀᴋɪ

Can only make cookies. That’s it. But like - they’re good cookies. More of an eat out kinda girl.

ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ

Actually - not the worst. But like - a food is fuel kinda guy unless he’s at some fancy ass restaurant where he’s not paying. He’s a meat and rice for protein and carbs kinda man.

ᴍᴀᴋɪ ᴢᴇɴɪɴ

Growing up how she grew up, as a Zen’in female child - she had to learn to cook. Both her and Mai were in the kitchen helping prepare meals so yeah, she can cook. Now, she hates it. It makes her feel like she’s back there - she is similar to Toji and Megumi really (a defected Zen’in trait) in that she eats healthily, balanced meals - probably meal preps too.

ɪᴇɪʀɪ ꜱʜᴏᴋᴏ

Also, no.

ɪɴᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ ᴛᴏɢᴇ

Yeah he’s decent - likes to cook with people, really enjoys baking. It’s more of like, a fun activity for him - he usually ends up baking stuff with Panda and occasionally Yuuta. Makes sweet stuff a lot, uses it to bribe Gojo.

ᴄʜᴏꜱᴏ

He’s got the spirit! He was born like - a few months ago, so he’s no idea what he’s doing! But he will learn! It’s something Yuuji loves doing so he will do it with him. I feel like as a death painting womb he doesn’t NEED to eat - but he enjoys it, thinks exploring tastes and things is fun. Very wholesome. Becomes obsessed with learning about nutrition so he can keep people healthy.

ʏᴜᴜᴛᴀ ᴏᴋᴋᴏᴛꜱᴜ

This man is a mom cook. He makes big servings of very hearty meals that will fill you right up (get your mind out of the gutter). It’s so yummy, real cosy, curl up by the fire kinda food. Signature thing he makes is banana bread.

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ

If you want raw fucking meat then maybe? Absolutely not, wouldn’t not eat anything this man put near me.

[ohcorny]

i need to post loic soulsov character analysis because if i don't i'll die. he's been plaguing my thoughts for *checks watch* like three to four days because we get SO much information about him and who he is in just this one nugget of the game and i'm spinning out of control about it.

spoilers for the most raw bits of the prelude so obviously go play the game first and then come back and read me ramble and make wild assumptions about this man and the direction of his character

so i have been obsessed with this (paraphrased because i'd have to whip through nearly the whole game again to correctly quote it) exchange between the voice and loic:

"Are you prepared for the world Ysme would create?" "Could it really be any worse than this one?"

and god. bro. bro. the absolute devastation necessary for this man to feel this way, about a woman who lied to him from the moment they met (which he clocked! very early on!), mugged him with a gun, SHOT him with that gun, and then when she became his ghost-god immediately realized she could force him to commit suicide by cop if she wanted. this woman did all of this to him, and when given the opportunity to just let her die--arguably justifiable given her goals and how she threatened him and the fact her death was entirely of her own doing--he doesn't. even though "don't let this woman die", a morally good thing on its face, is actually "let this violent, selfish woman become god with the ability to remake the world in her image, while also becoming her slave" and he knows it.

because to him, that's preferable to the world he lives in. your world has to be so bad for that to be the case.

and it is! his world is that bad. not the physical actual world, which yes, is harsh and cold and dangerous outside the mosaic, but his world, his daughter, in an incurable coma. there is a cruelty to somebody you love being incurably sick. to the selfish, hurting heart, it can be worse than if they were just dead. you can mourn somebody who's dead, and move on from your grief, but as long as they're still living, you're shackled to hope, constantly grieving. there is no moving on, there is only waiting for it to end. you might bargain, as loic does in his search for the flower to cure her, but it's still just waiting.

and when ysme comes into his life, he gives up on waiting. he has been haunting his own life until then, doing good at lamplight because it was within his power while he was there, but i don't think it was ever with dedication. it was something to pass the time as he looked for the flower. essentially selling his soul, surrendering his free will to ysme, this incredibly dangerous, selfish woman, is better than living as he has been. because he's selfish too.

what i like so much about loic is that he's presented as this very kind, soft, unassailable dad who wants to do the right thing. A Down to Earth Good Guy, to contrast with the chaos of ysme, but he's fucking selfish! while he couldn't have predicted the raw physical power of exalted ysme, he still knew she would receive the power to remake the world. and he still decided: fuck this world.

the natural assumption is that his kindness will balance out ysme, and i'm here for that narrative, but honestly. i think she's going to make him worse. the seed of selfishness is already in him, and he's indulged it by giving her power over him, and that must be in some way a relief. he's effectively surrendered responsibility for himself and his actions over to her. he can no longer be fully blamed for anything now that she has power over him.

and i think he's tired of being nice. i think he's ready to go apeshit.

.........and while that would make a good button to end this on, i have to mention: there is a non-zero chance he thinks she's hot and the idea of being a goddess' slave is hot. he's a grown ass man who we know for a fact HAS fucked, and while ysme was like "i thought you were a dead wife guy. i guess you still could be" my money is on divorced. my theory is lia was going over to her mom's house in that flashback.

like yes, all of that above is the main motivator, but i'm not ready to discount sex. loic wants to be lifestyle dommed. because what i just described about surrendering his free will is literally the appeal of being a sub: giving somebody else control, so you don't have to feel the weight of it. this is a story for adults about adults and it is on that le guin shit of linking a sexual fantasy inexorably to the world building and plot thrust, and i am ESPECIALLY here for that.

and i think that's everything i had to say about loic soulsov. i am exorcised. i'm better now.

[fractualized]

I finally got around to reading through another classic batjokes story: Lovers & Madmen, which takes place in Batman Confidential #7-12. I highly recommend it, particularly if you are interested in stories about Jack-era Joker. Batman first meets Jack at the tail-end of his first year as Batman, and we get all the batjokes goods, including plenty that aren't evident from the isolated panels that go around. (Plus cameos from aspiring med student Harleen Quinzel and aspiring asylum administrator Jonathan Crane.)

This isn't a full recap, so I hope my rambling will spur you to check it out.

(Beware of gore and suicidal ideations.)

The key thing to know from issue #7 is that Bruce's mission has been going incredibly well. He has been operating for only 42 weeks, and he can feel the city quieting down. He's so proud! So content!

And we can't have that. Enter Jack, goon for hire. Bruce comes across one of his murders and becomes obsessed with how clean the scene is, how little a trail there is to follow. He investigates and investigates and investigates and comes up with nothing to his dismay.

Meanwhile Jack is also having a sad at a bar because there's no challenge or entertainment to his job anymore. :( Luckily a nice server gives him a little pep talk.

Jack does give things another go at a bank robbery, but it's still no fun. He trips the alarm on purpose, but a shootout with the guards is no fun for him either. He's literally in the middle of asking a guard to kill him, when Batman finally shows up.

"He's an idiot. I love him." Nothing like infatuation to restore your will to live. #8 opens with Jack being sure to leave Batman a thank you note before he escapes.

And Jack must see the Bat again, and of course the only way to ensnare him is to commit a series of awful but perfect crimes. And Bruce is infuriated! Here he is taking out his frustrations on a mugger— with Jack watching from afar.

Bruce is just so mad he's been unable to stop Jack, like, "All those books! All that preparation! But crime man keep criming?!"

Batman and Jack next meet at a charity gala planned by Bruce's love interest in this story, Lorna, and boy do things escalate. Jack picks Lorna as his hostage, threatening to shoot her so he can get away, and Bruce ends up grabbing another gun and shooting Jack's gun out of his hand. But then Jack just stabs her good, and while Bruce can't leave her to die, he doesn't just let Jack escape.

Jack isn't even the goddamn Joker yet and Bruce has intentionally given him a Glasgow smile as punishment. And even more insane, is that Jack appears to verbally respond to Bruce's inner monologue.

With Lorna slowly dying in the hospital, Bruce goes to a professional to try to figure out what it is about Jack that makes him seemingly unstoppable— and of course that professional is Jonathan Crane, and his professional opinion is basically, "dude that guy is clearly just insane and you're doomed to fail lol."

Oh yeah? Would an insane man be this untroubled about his face being cut open?

"He'll have to pay for that. Then again… it's nice to feel something." Just summing up Joker's cycling feelings about Batsy in the years to come. lol

And here's the plot point that sticks out to me most, after years of reading Bruce stalwartly refuse to kill Joker, including in other versions of their first meeting:

Bruce has been Batman for less than a year and he's already like, "Fuck it! I give up! This guy stabbed my new girlfriend and made me lose faith in books! He has to die!" In a short time, Jack has burrowed so deep under Bruce's skin that Bruce tosses away the one solid crime-fighting principle he has. It's oddly refreshing??

So Maletesta, who is a crime boss Jack stole from, takes some goons and captures Jack at the doctor's while he's unconscious from surgery. They then take Jack to a pharmaceutical plant, and Maletesta starts beating him while he's still out. Except Jack is actually awake and just kind of bored by the torture attempts and slipping back into ennui. This issue, #10, really goes into Jack's struggle between wanting to live but not feeling there's anything worth living for.

As you can see, Jack does eventually escape his bonds to fight back. As he and Maletesta fight, they end up in the bottom of the vat.

Meanwhile, Bruce is being quietly insane.

Bruce. Bruce, what the fuck are you talking about. I have to unspool this because like, Bruce knows Jack has killed lots of people. But what he's fretting about is the ways Jack's madness has metaphysically harmed the world, maybe, and thinking, "I know he's caused so much damage, but what about the damage to my moral integrity?!" and putting that above all the material harm. I know Bruce already does this all the time, but it feels so much more explicit here, and it gets worse, and just... Sir. Sir. You are not well.

So Bruce arrives at the plant too late to save Jack but just in time to see him get doused in chemicals.

Jack spends more time thinking on whether or not he wants to survive, but we know how this goes.

Jack ends up on the riverbank, and there's a wholesome edge to his psychotic break.

And so begins the criminal career of… the March Hare!

Kidding. The issue ends there, with Bruce lamenting that his change of heart came too late, that even if Jack is still alive, something awful has happened.

But then when issue #11 starts, Bruce finds he's not sure what he saw on the bank, if anyone. He gives chase but…

But if Jack is still alive, then Bruce's soul may be intact. He keeps searching well into the day, but finds nothing.

When he returns home, though, he learns that Lorna will survive after all. He immediately heads to the hospital, to "the only good news in the world."

Ah, Bruce is finally anchoring himself to the bedside of his ladylove. After he colluded to get someone murdered and seemingly succeeded. And it's the fear of what that says about him that sent him to Lorna. Almost like he's turning to her less because of his affection and more to hide from his moral failure. Romance!

Jack does soon appear in his new clown persona, and Bruce keeps his word and refuses to leave the hospital despite the multiple horrors Joker commits. Joker is not happy that Batman is MIA.

Some idiot Joker's captured feels it's necessary to inform him that Batman tried to have him killed, and of course Batman doesn't care. Joker scoffs, because Batman doesn't kill.

Faith restored!

Back at the hospital, Alfred verbally kicks Bruce in the ass, pointing out that committing himself to an unconscious Lorna isn't helping anyone.

Bruce finally suits up to respond to the bat signal, but it turns out Gordon isn't the one who lit it.

My Telltale-loving ass like:

In issue #12, their fight commences, and after some mutual stabbing, we get Joker's real plan.

It's like a dozen Lornas! Only this time Joker is telling Batman to come at him instead of trying to escape, and instead of taking action, Bruce suddenly feels overwhelmed.

Joker says something similar earlier about Gothamites. They're "poor sickies" who can't even see the bunny on the moon. They need the same "medicine" that Joker got to see the big picture, to find true joy. Of course he wants to do that for Batman too!

But once Batman shakes the poison off and starts rescuing the civilians, Joker is also pretty cool with killing him.

Bruce survives, as expected, and Joker isn't really upset about it.

And destined to do this forever, you might say!

Joker goes on to say that Batman gave him a purpose, a world of color to live for. Bruce reiterates that Joker is murdering people and asks why. Joker asks why Batman saves them.

(This panel goes right to left, btw.)

Joker's got a ways to fall, so Bruce has time to contemplate letting him die. "Let it happen… Let chaos prevail for the six more seconds it will take for madman to meet pavement… or the rest of my life will be spent picking up the pieces."

Bruce has already had a moral crisis about what it would mean for his soul if he let Joker die. In the end, he simply doesn't accept there's a meaningful difference between someone who takes a life for personal gain and himself taking a life to prevent the suffering of others. The vat is the same as his parents' graves. Letting Joker hit the ground is the same as pulling a trigger. Bruce chooses Joker over countless future victims. He choose Joker over Lorna, who he'll soon break up with at the hospital, weaponizing the carelessness of his socialite persona. Bruce decides that, amongst all options, taking responsibility for the monster he created means spending his life picking up the pieces.

And he immediately accepts that fact, what's to come. Gordon talks to Batman about the total dead, saying, "Would've been worse without you," and Bruce responds, "Don't be so sure." Don't be so sure today and for the decades to come, because Bruce believes that if that clown dies, then so does his own soul.

Joker sees that future too, and he is delighted!

Interesting detail, the Jack and King visible in the hat, side by side. Brings to mind how not too many years later, Snyder will have Joker crown his Bat King.

So there's Lovers & Madmen. Again, much more goes on in this story, particularly Jack's suicidal ideations and how he links the "enlightenment" Batman bestowed upon him to his contempt for regular people and his need to separate himself from them (and reconciling that with a good deed he does for a future henchgirl). The issues are collected into one book, and if you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to pick it up.

[frozenmoonshine]

Headcanon - Tips & Tricks on how to date Sanzu Haruchiyo:

I just wrote this to cope with my unhealthy obsession with this fictional man. He's my absolute favorite TR baby, so forgive me for being shamelessly self indulgent! ...or don't.

If feminine terms of endearment and/or hinted hetero relationship trigger you for any reason, please skip this one. Cheers.

Haru is a lovebug, but that cannot be seen by just anyone. It requires a person with thick, and I mean: THICK nerves and patience to handle him right. He's prone to jealousy, he's headstrong, and he holds his grudges like Mikey's life directly depends on it!

If not handled properly, he will ghost you for days, try to make you jealous, be deliberately mean and controlling/manipulative, or in more extreme cases, turn full on yandere stalker on you! But all of that is triggered by his innate need to be loved and deeply, deeply rooted fear of being abandoned and being less than. So don't make him insecure!

It's highly recommended to build trust with him first, so if you guys start out by being genuine friends first, before you start dating, and then let the things develop naturally from there, there's a lot more chance that he'll open up to you and let you in, and he won't be as afraid of you leaving him or "betraying" him.

Seriously tho, don't leave him! He needs someone to love him, and to love back, way more than he realizes! He desperately needs someone to call "home", someone who will stay, who will accept him, and not judge him for who he is. And who he is deep down is just a soft little baby, that would do anything and everything for his loved one!

Until he gets properly comfortable with you and the fact that someone genuinely cares for him (which is a big challenge for him!) he may occaaionally act inconsistent (not messaging back for hours on end, standing you up for dates, being generally unavailable, etc.) It's either all due to his gang duties, fights, and devotion to Mikey, or simply just his struggle to adapt to love. But you can always be completely certain that he's not cheating!

Why? Because he's simply the type that falls in love for life, stays loyal and faithful even after death does you part (regardless of who dies first), and is so overprotective that it can be too much to deal with sometimes! ("Why is that ugly bitch over there giving you the side eye?! She wants me to explain to her who you are or what?!" - "No one talks like that to my Queen, I'm gonna rip his fucking skeleton apart!" etc.) And yeah, unless you stop him somehow, he will commit homicide just because someone stepped into your lane a bit too rudely for his taste.

Also, once you have successfully conquered his tattered, lonely heart, he would totally call you his Queen, and treat you as such as well. He's a lowkey simp, but a high key gentleman and super respectful in every sense of the word. His manners, albeit a little bit oldschool (legacy of having been brought up by his grandma and Takeomi), are always impeccable! If you didn't know better, you'd easily think he was some rich, spoiled, stuck-up "bocchan".

He'll be very reserved at the beginning of your dating, not exactly shy, but somewhat distant. But he'll never fail to open the door for you, move your chair for you, walk next to the car track making sure you're on the safer side, hold your coat for you or offer his if you don't have one, etc. But even holding hands will only happen after three dates or so.

And the first date is at Cozy Corner, and you guys are getting cheesecakes, it's just a fact, I don't make the rules! Once the relationship gets a bit more established it will become your monthly tradition.

On another negative side of dating Haru, however, be prepared to "share" him with Mikey! Although his attachment to Mikey is not romantic in nature, and Mikey isn't exactly someone to be jealous of in that sense, he will be a significant part of your relationship, as Haru will either talk incessantly about him, or flat our refuse to spend time with you because "Mikey needs him", and to him that is a perfectly valid reason.. But, if you (ideally) share, or (at least) understand his obsession with his King, and support his ambition to be Mikey's right hand man, he'll marry you, no joke!

* * * BONUS * * *

He used to be self conscious about his scars around you at first, not taking the mask off in front of you for 3 whole months of dating. You even "kissed" for the first time over the mask. When you asked him why he always wears it, he tried avoiding the subject at first, but when he realized he can trust you, he admitted he was afraid of your reaction when you see his face (you of course find him nothing less than drop dead gorgeous).

He hates PDA, but is quite affectionate in private, though never smothering. He'll hug you from behind when you're in the kitchen, randomly kiss your temple when you're cuddled up watching a movie together, he always speaks to you in a gentle, loving tone, he rubs small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb when holding hands, he always praises the food you make for him, he tries his best to learn to make your favorites, etc.

When the Kanto Manji-kai started getting seriously corrupted, he tried pushing you away, but you insisted on staying by his side no matter what, and he greatly appreciates you for that. Despite all, you are his safe haven.

In his KMK/early Bonten days, you half-jokingly asked him to teach you to use a sword. He taught you to play shōgi instead. It almost became a weekend tradition for the two of you. Since you started keeping scores, you've been in the lead with 139 wins, over his 137. (He may or may not have let you win on purpose, more than once.) You tease him that it's because he's such a good teacher.

As Bonten's 2nd in command, he's still as loyal to you as always, but you're never his first priority. It's Mikey and Bonten's business, and you know it. However, you can't say you haven't felt jealous of Mikey in some cases. Whenever Mikey calls, Haru will immediately leave, even mid-sex.

He always tries to make it up to you later if Mikey interrupted your time together, tho.

He avoids meeting you on the days when he's had to kill. Not just because he doesn't want to "taint" you, but also because he doesn't like himself when he's high. He'd rather wait for the drugs to wear off before meeting you. If you guys live together, then he'll just spend the day at the Bonten HQ instead.

Once you start living together, he's a godsent to have around the house! You don't have to do any cleaning ever again, his OCD kicks in and your apartment will always be spotlessly clean. He occasionally nags at you to be more tidy tho.

He's even more overprotective as an adult than he was as a teen. if you're going somewhere that is not owned by or affiliated with Bonten, and he can't go with you for whatever reason, you will unavoidably have two of his most trusted subordinates escort you and stay by your side at all times as your bodyguards. And no, he's not trying to contol where you go or what you do, (those two guys basically work for you, not him, at this point, anyway) he just won't leave anything to chance and risk you getting targetted by any of his numerous enemies when he's not around to protect you by himself. When the two of you are together out, he never leaves your side, and always has an arm around your waist or back.

[veronicalodgefaghag]

"THOUGHT EXERCISE TIME you have to script one (1) hiram/archie kiss into the existing show somewhere. no plot impact at all, it's never going to be brought up again onscreen it just becomes part of the overall texture of everything that's already going on in canon between them. where does it go, for maximum high camp and/or dramatic impact (double spaced on lined paper by whenever)"

Well?

Didn’t answer this ask back when it was going around cause I wasn’t into Riverdale enough at the time to feel prepared to answer it. I’m on a riverblogging kick tonight and it’s been weighing on me so here goes:

My personal favorite answer is @normiewizard ’s post about Archie going for it earlyish in the grand scheme of things and Hiram just Knowing That about him and Having That Over him for the rest of the show, that was a stroke of genius on their part that makes me fucking insane.

As to answering the question for myself, so much has already been covered by more adept hirarchie scholars than I, so I’m gonna go with my gut feeling from the very beginning and say my answer from the very beginning of this question going around has been the possibly very basic scenario of “Archie kisses Hiram during the stabbing dream in No Exit.” As a first half of season 3 scholar before any other area with this show, and an Archie scholar this is just the obvious answer to me. I love Hiram as much as the next guy and am very interested in him because I’m obsessed with Archie and Veronica, but I don’t feel I know him quite well enough as a character. Whereas, I know Archie very well. Hirarchie is most interesting to me as the result of Archie’s relationship with Grundy and its/her shaping of him, so Archie’s desire for him which Hiram is quite aware of, finds amusing, plays into (and don’t get me wrong, Hiram is attracted to Archie of course, and as many have said, there was a sexual relationship there in the show on our screens if you’re watching one way. To think there are some people to whom Archie being forced to fight in a secret underground prison fight club is not forced sexual violence… we live in different worlds.) is most interestingly explored from the Archie’s character side of things in a situation like this where we are not seeing Hiram’s true reaction to anything, but Archie’s mind’s Hiram. To actually answer the question, I think that Archie comes into the room, picks up the knife and kisses Hiram as he holds it between them. Hiram’s sly smile in this scene is then a reflection of the knowing way he plays Archie wrt his desire for him and his vulnerability resulting from the Grundy relationship. We go to the shot of their shadows on the wall now, and shots of their faces and the knife stabbing in. Yes, Joaquin parallels but also season 6 Archiereggie stabbing to death/gay sex parallels. I also think that Hiram should be awful about it (Archie’s desire for him) in some way in Archie’s imagination, because Archie’s dreams in that episode are all cruel to him because he is cruel to himself, but specifically because the kiss alone (despite the stabbing) could convey the wrong idea about what Archie thinks of Hiram kind of? If that makes sense?

I think No Exit is perfect if we’re talking about it never being mentioned in the show like you’ve prompted because so much of that episode is never mentioned again. Archie’s dream sequences in No Exit lay bare so much of his subtextual conflict that is never brought up again and doesn’t really add to anything because it all already underlies his whole story—his having to kill his “soft” self most importantly, but also, like the other core three showing up in their first episode outfits, “are you working on any new music, Arch?” pushing the show to finally acknowledge that he does. not. do that anymore after so much of his story revolves around music for the first season. This is of course another thing Hiram is responsible for in large part. So then this sojourn of his from Riverdale, spurred by an event which involved his being kissed by Joaquin, during which he runs away with Jughead (acknowledged by the show as making then look queer), ending with his subconscious instigating a Hiram/Archie kiss that never gets mentioned again but sets the final tone for his return to Riverdale as a man revived from death works so beautifully to me.

I’m really torn on whether I think that, in this hypothetical version of the show, they have kissed outside of that offscreen, or they eventually do or what. Like is this Archie taking his own control of something Hiram already physically uses against him as he kills him? Is this him acknowledging not only his homosexual desire but the homoerotic capacity/side of the relationship with Hiram only in his near-death subconscious? Tangentially relatedly, what if Grundy is the game master who hands him the “kill the Man in Black” card instead of the warden who’s another of his dead sexual abusers anyway?

[magniloquent-raven]

Sexuality headcanon for Billy?

Prepare for probably more rambling than necessary to answer this question, because I have a lot of thoughts about Billy!

I've always seen him as 100% gay, and fully aware of it since he was a kid.

I think his mom knew too, maybe before he did. They never talked about it, she never would've brought it up because there was no way of knowing where/when it would be safe to, but on some level I think Billy knew that she knew. She'd have a grim, knowing look on her face whenever Neil made pointed comments, and it was the only kind of bullying she never defended him against.

Before she left he figured she just didn't want to draw attention. He imagined that if he was ever honest with her she'd accept him unconditionally. After she left he started to wonder if she'd decided raising some little queer was too much work. Maybe she never argued with Neil when he called Billy a fag because deep down she agreed with him. Maybe she always resented Billy for being this way.

(I think the reality of it would be more complicated than that. She might've been a little uncomfortable, a little confused about how to handle her son being "different." She didn't have any idea how to argue with Neil without confirming all his suspicions about his son and putting Billy in even more danger. I think if Billy had ever said anything she would have been terrified that the wrong person might hear him, and that fear might've made her react badly, but she would have tried to be supportive, and she would've made it there eventually, if she'd had time.)

I also just really like the idea of him being somewhere on the ace spectrum. I don't always write him that way but it IS always tickling the back of my brain. Like, he's such a character who uses sex as anything but what it should be between well-adjusted adults. It's part of the tough guy persona, it's a power play, it's for flirting answers out of people, it's a way to control his interactions with older women because he doesn't want anyone mothering him. He enjoys being hot and the fact that it gives him leverage, that doesn't mean he actually wants to fuck anyone.

His weird obsession with Steve could come down to the fact that he's not stable, just, in general (and that's definitely playing a part lol) but I like toying with the idea that either he has this massive nonsexual crush on Steve and the weird split between his internalized homophobia being pissed at him for having gay feelings at all and his internalized aphobia being disgusted at him for not wanting to fuck Steve, because what kind of teenager with a crush doesn't want to get their dick involved (and toxic masculinity making a whole mess of both issues). OR he is sexually attracted to Steve and it's not a thing that happens to him much because he's somewhere in the grey-ace area, so he has no idea how to handle it. And he handles it poorly.

Fun little side note, I've recently become half-jokingly into to the idea of Billy deciding to pursue Chrissy romantically (for three reasons 1) he does not like Jason, who has a really obvious crush on Chrissy 2) he needs to be seen dating girls in order to feel secure and 3) they're actually kind of friends and he's tired of dating annoying girls) only to develop actual feelings and have an entire crisis about it. Months after he's tentatively started accepting he might be bisexual, Chrissy comes out as transmasc and he's like OH.

I just think the conversation would be hilarious, Chrissy coming into it like, worried that Billy will feel different about their relationship, all prepared with a speech and an exit plan if one becomes necessary, and then Billy's reaction is basically just "Yeah, that's kind of comforting actually."

[lakesbian]

Train Guys in Worm: Presuming all the train passengers Could Trigger, and presuming that their crossroads moment either IS or is CLOSE TO their Trigger, what powers do you think they'd get?

oh damn i guess there is train/worm crossover! win for me (guy who was obsessed w/ train right before i got Into into worm).

obligatory disclaimer: these are all just what i think are The Coolest Options, not firmly set in one universe or the other. just roll with any discrepancies/take them as they are. this is gonna be long, and i'm not in the mood to concept-edit for internal logic.

[cracks knuckles]

tulip: too much of a support system, not at enough of a low, can't trigger

lake: escaped case 53. brute 5, thinker 3 - made entirely of an unknown highly-reflective metal. exceedingly high breaking and melting points. weighs approx. 1,000 pounds. is only about as strong as an athletic 13yo girl, but, like...if that athletic 13yo girl couldn't feel pain or physical exertion and was also capable of throwing 1,000 lbs of body weight around. running on "has enough adrenaline to lift a car off a trapped family member" physical capability 24/7. doesn't need to eat, drink, or breathe. - unconscious minor precog presenting itself as particularly strong mental impulses towards decisionmaking which minimizes the chances of harm coming to her. this functions largely as a defensive combat thinking ability--if she could climb up that nearby pipe to dodge containment foam and then land an elbow slam from it, she's gonna get the idea to do it. very good at "coincidentally" stumble-dodging a power she's never seen in use before by an inch. this adds a solid point or two to her brute rating because of how effectively it enables her to throw her weight around and avoid attacks. she occasionally gets impulses towards what the next steps she could take in a plan to avoid large-scale/impending danger are, but there's not necessarily a guarantee the entire plan will work out--it's just a nudge onto the right path. (think the many times she dodges a sander by an inch in canon + her getting the idea to go to the engine despite having no idea what she'll do when she gets there.)

my sweet sweet SWEET darling boy whom i love jesse: pressures his little brother into doing Something dangerous his shithead friends think will be funny. it goes bad, and nate is sent to the hospital with some serious injuries. panicked, guilty, and terrified that he still doesn't feel prepared to drop the masks he puts up, jesse runs away from home. he runs into his shithead friends, makes a poor attempt to stand up to them & tell them off, and that goes bad as well. when they turn on him, it quickly becomes both devastatingly mentally and physically dangerous. the worst part is that, in the moment, he doesn't wish that he had been better at standing up to them. instead, he wishes that he had just been better at pleasing them, better at finding a way to keep everyone happy with him. trigger.

master, threat rating pending. anyone jesse perceives as needing to like him--whether because they're a physical threat, or simply a threat to his deep insecurities--will begin perceiving him as a friend, with the nature of this perceived friendship adjusting to be indiscernible from how it would appear if it had arisen naturally. this is an ironic reflection of what caused him to trigger in the first place: everyone likes him, but no one likes him for him.

the power is uncontrollable and always on. he is not aware of how it functions, and currently retains his typical desperate people-pleasing behavior.

alan dracula: the PRT thought that the weird deer was jesse's master minion. as it turns out, it's not. in fact, nobody has any fucking idea what it is. there are some theories that it's a really fucked up case 53, but...as anyone in-the-know knows, cauldron has no idea what the fuck that thing is, either. in fact, all signs point to it genuinely being a minutely-smarter-than-average regular deer, but with superpowers. the PRT has given it another name, but jesse and lake loudly insist that his name is alan dracula. alan dracula cares about 1. grass and 2. jesse and lake, in that order. jesse and lake do not at any point explain when or how they met alan dracula. attempts to probe into His Deal are met with a very condescending explanation that he's a deer, and also their friend. this is not because he's using any sort of memory or behavior altering power on them--he's just a deer, he has no reason to do all that.

changer 12 (trump 12, blaster 12, stranger 12, brute 12, mover 12). alan dracula could kill an endbringer. alan dracula isn't going to kill an endbringer, because there's no grass involved. alan dracula only ever releases a fraction of his power, and for this, we should all be grateful.

(i maintain that there's literally no possible way to good-faith translate alan dracula into worm without going this route. if you wormify train characters and you don't make alan dracula a weird fucking deer, you're doing it wrong. alan dracula could beat the shit out of contessa, i don't give a fuck. he's alan dracula.)

grace: her life was going great, right up until she met hazel and started changing. reconsidering things. it hurt when tuba died. she feels like she's desperately spinning plates, trying not to drop any, trying to keep simon happy and hazel safe. it starts taking more lies, more manipulation, just to keep the most basic social interaction going smoothly. she almost thinks she has it, thinks she can make room in her life for hazel without having to give up the apex. but then, without really thinking, she lashes out at hazel to keep simon happy. she didn't realize how horrible it would be until the words had already left her mouth. and then, in the midst of her confusion with herself, hazel leaves. she couldn't live up to any of the roles she was playing. she was trying so hard to be what simon expected, but now she's realizing she can't live up to it--and she doesn't want to live up to it. she dropped all the plates, and there's nothing left for her in the shards. she's watching hazel leave, sobbing, feeling simon stare at the back of her head with raw hatred. trigger.

changer 5 (stranger 3, master 6). ability to alternate between a silver, highly translucent form w/ a face akin to a tragedy mask and a metallic, solidified golden form w/ a face akin to a comedy mask. - in the silver form, people are simply inclined to find her boring, and this is aided by the fact that she's made near entirely see-through. people looking at her feel like they've been watching paint dry for the last hour. trying to remember her long enough to communicate her location feels similarly uninteresting. this feeling of boredom is also mentally parsed as a completely normal reaction, making it difficult to rationally recognize it as a sign to call her out--people experiencing it have a tendency to simply start paying attention to something else, instead. - in the gold form, she's unreasonably interesting. praise from her feels superhumanly good. it's like you're a little kid and she's your favorite person in the whole world, your biggest idol, compelling you to do just a little favor for a pat on the head. she's gorgeous and sweet and you want to do whatever she asks of you. (this is the weakest one, imo, probably because i just made it up on the spot. i Don't Love It and would appreciate alternate suggestions from anyone else familiar w/ her character. it might count as breaker states instead, but i don't think so? who gives a shit. anyway yeah if anyone has an idea for how best to get smth out of the identity struggles + unwanted attention from simon + isolation/betrayal while stirring a bit of cult leader swag into it Let Me Know. my idea does nooot ironically tragically reinforce her issues enough!)

simon: grace was everything he had. they were a team. they were grace and simon. for ten years, it was them versus the train. and then she starts acting weird. normally, they communicate in effortless, unspoken code--but now she's sending off smoke signals he doesn't know how to read. she keeps telling him to hold off on killing the gorilla null for no good reason, and sometimes he swears it feels like she and the new kid are a team versus him. he watches her memory tape to get to the bottom of it, and--yes. she's been lying to him. throwing away everything they built for a null. trigger.

master 6. has the ability to generate a single, extremely strong, and extremely agile brute minion. it looks like an abstracted ballerina with locs and a golden mask. it is, transparently, a replacement for grace. a regracement, if you will. this is the grace in his head, the grace he's placed on a pedestal, the real grace that would scoff at the void that fell from that pedestal when she lied to him. it doesn't speak, because he never really cared to listen. the important part is that, unlike grace, it can never think to leave him.

ryan & min-gi: not sure! i know they'd both realistically trigger separately, but i do like the idea of a cluster trigger for them. they're assigned soulmates at train via the same numbers, i wanna see them assigned kiss cluster dynamic at worm. my main barrier here is that i'm struggling to think of a compelling cluster trigger event + fun music-themed powers. (are two person clusters even a thing? i have not read ward nor will i read ward.) suggestions welcomed.

amelia: amelia is a very smart, talented engineer. she has been since she was a little girl. and she's still spent her entire life getting fucked over by misogyny. her parents and her teachers trying to coerce her into doing things little girls should be doing, her college professors favoring their male students over her, the men in her workplace feeling threatened by her and discriminating in response. the only thing she has going for her is alrick, her fiance. he's impressed by her, treats her as an equal, he sees her in a way no one else does. he stands up for her. he was awed by her work as a child, stood with her in college, works at the same place as her and does his best to make it better for her. she loves him more than anyone. and then he gets into an awful accident and languishes for days in the hospital. she feels like her heart and head are going to explode, watching him lie there. she needs his support. but he dies anyway, and she realizes she doesn't know how to live without her person. she's about ready to go jump off the roof of their old college, and then--trigger.

tinker 10. amelia can build pockets in reality, and she can build entire worlds-in-miniature in those pockets. every pocket world has an entrance to the outside in the form of a red door w/ a golden handle, indestructible and immovable. she can build denizens for those worlds, and those denizens can reproduce. the only guiding rules for her worlds are: - although they're based on elements from reality, they're easier to build the more divorced from reality are, and significantly more difficult to build the more realistic they are. - attempts to intentionally design a car--particularly a realistic one--vs letting her instincts take the lead inevitably result in elements from her unconscious leaking into it. turtles are particularly common, and it bothers her that she can't figure out what object from her subconscious is causing it. - she cannot build people. the more humanoid a denizen appears, the more difficult it is to make.

despite the above, she has furiously dedicated herself to attempting to rebuild a better version of her old life, alrick included. she's stolen a wealth of tinkertech in the hopes that something will help her overcome her limitations. her violent methods of doing so, and her refusal to stop making self-replicating denizens, quickly landed her a kill order. she doesn't care. she has everything to gain and nothing to lose.

the last anyone heard of her, she'd sealed herself in a pocket world and locked the door behind her. all attempts to open the door from the outside have proved fruitless. it remains under perpetual watch. no one wants to find out what she's been making in there, or what she plans to do if, or when, she emerges.

cape name suggestions also welcome for all of these. will be real i am not very good at coming up w/ cape names. compelled by "Your New Best Friend" for jesse--i love clunky, long-ass cape names--and something w/ 'killed god and took his place' connotations for amelia. just straight up "deicide"? who knows.

[junk-thrillz]

I nEEEED to hear your thoughts on boss leader x mr Puckett PLLEEEEASE this crack ship is actually driving me insane I-…I don’t think it’s a joke anymore

Anon. Your mind. It’s an absurd and wonderful place. I love it.

Shipping a crackship as a joke is such a slippery slope, it happened to me with Lisa and Max, and NO ONE PREPARES YOU FOR IT. I don’t know what it is about shipping for comedic purposes that so quickly spirals into something serious that takes up all your brain space… but allow me to think about your newfound OTP from both a comedic and serious angle, because I’m actually kind of loving this.

The comedy angle is obvious. Max's future stepmom is a spirit obsessed with suitsies who spends her time either being super cryptic, or trolling everyone. Max's first meeting with BL is a tonal rollercoaster, she freaks him the fuck out by appearing out of nowhere, he makes some snarky jabs, and then shit gets SERIOUS. He's rightfully suspicious of her and the information she's withholding, but also willing to hold a conversation with her. All this to say that I think the whole taking-her-seriously thing would deteriorate the second she starts dating his dad. BL would try to bond and Max would just be yelling the whole time. Their relationship would not be worse off for it but I think it would stagnate. There's also the comedy of the ship itself, you have this immortal spirit woman who's been reincarnated a trillion times (?) dating some 30 year old freak running a 7/11. It's awesome.

Okay, let's take this seriously and think about it happening in canon. It would mean that Peter is a spectral of some kind, which raises the question of, did he know June was a spectral? Probably. In this scenario, would he have any way of knowing that BL was June's boss?? It has potential to get weird FAST, but that's kinda what I love about it??

Also, this is a ship that has June haunting it. Not maliciously, just, in the same way she haunts the rest of the narrative. BL and June knew each other - maybe Peter and BL would be able to bond over losing her. It's hard to say how much closure BL could provide Peter, because the details of June's death are still unknown. But at the very least I could see this relationship beginning as a shared catharsis between the two.

Wouldn't it be interesting if Peter wasn't a spectral before the comic's present? He becomes a spectral and suddenly has access to this world his wife was a part of, and that he had no idea about. Spirits are real, and he's one of the spectrals, and many of them knew June. I keep thinking about Peter meeting BL in a dream world and losing my MIND.

In terms of like, actual romance romance, I think they'd be tentative. BL has enough tact to not push Peter too far, and June's death is still fresh for the whole family. Also, Peter has his kids to think about - one of them is a spectral and has met BL before. You kind of have to be careful when navigating a spectral's world. And Boss Leader is still THE boss, you know? She's caring for an extremely powerful spirit, is HERSELF an extremely powerful spirit. Peter is just some guy. I don't think they'd be UNHEALTHY, I just think they'd have to be CAREFUL.

Their relationship would be completely different from June and Peter's, and that's not a bad thing, it's even by design. But that also means things would turn out differently, Peter would treat everything differently.

I think I've hit the point where I've begun to ramble but I'm sure there's more I could say about these two. This ship is such an interesting thought experiment... it being canon would shake everything up but I think I would love the melodrama of it all.

[dangermousie]

Do you want your heart wrecked? God, do I have a drama for you - The Outsiders (2004) pusher post.

Prepare to be shocked because The Outsiders doesn't have a single cliche so beloved by many older dramas: there is no over-the-top silliness (the story is pretty grim), nobody is in college or has terminal illness, and...*gasp* love is important and even the lynchpin of the main characters' lives, but the drama is not starry-eyed about it, and in fact wants you to seriously question whether it was better for protagonists to have never met, or were the highs worth all the appalling lows.

The story of The Outsiders centers around 4 characters: three lower-class boys, thug delinquents and best friends since childhood. And Yu Yen, a sheltered, unworldly upper-class pianist who ends up falling in love with Ah Hao, one of the three guys. The boys join the Triads and 'move up in the world' even as they are losing their souls, and Yu Yen also copes with the fall-out. I think The Outsiders is even more Yu Yen's story than it is Ah Hao's or anyone else's. It's her destruction, her growth that becomes the key.

I love, love, love, LOVE the impossible, incredibly messed-up and oh-so-doomed central OTP of Ah Hao and Yu Yen. I want to tell them to run and get away from each other, even as I cannot resist wishing they could work it out, even if I know they never can. The drama does something I have rarely see a drama do: it presents the viewer with this grand operatic love and then asks whether that is really worth it, whether it is really enough. Yu Yen and Ah Hao would indubitably have been better off if they had never met. Ah Hao joins the Triads to protect her, but Yu Yen gets irrevocably damaged as the result. And the secrets they keep from each other: out of guilt, out of love, out of protectiveness, out of dysfunction, or a myriad other reasons end up building a wall between them and for most of the second half we are watching people who cannot live without each other but cannot live with each other either. They keep hurting each other but they cannot, nor do they want to, break away.

While The Outsiders has an amazing love story, it is not a romance drama: it really is the story of the main characters' descent into hell, some self-made and some forced on them. Some of them emerge out of it and some do not. It is almost Greek tragedy like in making the characters' downfall based on their flaws (and sometimes what conventionally could be perceived as their strengths).

All the main characters are fleshed out: the difficult, impulsive Ah Hao whose world is dangerously black-and-white, who is oh-so-flawed but also irresistible (you can see why Yu Yen fell for his passion and his total absorption into whatever he is or does, but also see why this brings them tragedy). Yu Yen, who starts the story deceptively fragile and sheltered but develops into the strongest character of all: an internally locked-away, contained woman who is a trauma victim on the inside but will keep going despite that or despite anything else. Danzi, probably the most likeable of them all, the narrator of the story: introspective and intelligent, there to pick up the pieces. Ah Qi, the easy-going joker of the group, perhaps the least messed-up or affected by their life and his tough-as-nails street-smart girlfriend Hong Do.

The drama made me feverishly obsessed, made me bawl (yes, I got weepy for contract killer mobsters), made me swoon. It's incredibly good.

Also, I found darkeyedwolf's legendary pusher post for The Outsiders, aka my second fave twdrama beside Mars and one that will FUCK YOU UP!

A little taste from her review:

I really can't convey the twisted messed-up glory of the OTP. She can't leave him no matter what he does, because he does it all for her, and he can't blame her for any of the secrets and lies and scars, because it's his fault she's involved. They're madly in love (the kind of intense, everlasting, die-for-you love, which is not at all an exaggeration when you're dealing with the mob) but their lives would've been so much better if they'd never met. It almost hurts to ship them, because you know they should be apart for their own sakes, but you can't stop and neither can they. They don't know how to do anything but love each other.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Zetsubou Woe’s: Part 2

...

*After the meeting is adjourned, Tsumugi returns to her sleeping quarters, lying on her bed and staring up at the ceiling.

...

Well, congratulations to you guys! I didn't think you could do it, but you did it! The real culprit behind Rantaro Amami’s death...

Was TSUMUGI SHIROGANE!

This... this isn't happening... This wasn't... this wasn't...!

Tsumugi...you...you're really...!

Ngh...

Of course! You're the perfect sacrifice to keep things interesting!

I just wanted to keep the story on track, but then you...you...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

You just had to FUCKING MISS! DIDN’T YOU!?

Mrgh...

Now then, I've prepared a very special punishment for the Ultimate Cosplayer, Tsumugi Shirogane!

Please don't do this! You still need me! I can still be of use to you!

Let's give it everything we've got! ITTTTTTTTT'SSSSSSSSSS PUNISHMENT TIME!!!!!

You... you...!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

AKAMATSUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAGH!?

*After briefly closing her eyes, Tsumugi jerks awake.

*pant!* *pant!* *pant!* *pant!*...*pant...* *pant...*

...Just a bad dream...

*She lies back down again and curls up into a ball, but suddenly, she hears a knock at her door.

AGH! Uh...who is it?

Yukari: It’s just me.

AI Junko: And me!

Oh! Yukari-chan. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Yukari: Can I come in please.

Sure, sure...Come on in.

*Yukari opens the door and steps into Tsumugi’s room. When she does, she turns around and locks the door behind her.

...

Any reason why you’re locking the door?

I just need us to have some privacy, that’s all.

Oh...Oh!

Uh...I’m flattered, but I kind of wish you’d talked about it beforehand, then I could be more prepared-

That’s not funny Mugi-chan. You know damn well that’s not what I’m here for, and it’s not that.

Why do you need privacy then?

I locked the door because I know you’ll try to leave if I didn’t. Listen to me...

I’m taking over Zetsubou’s main operations in the lab for the time being, and I’ll be mobilizing forces to prepare an attack on Future Foundation outside the lab.

...!?

Of course, I’ll need to confirm if the rescue party contains some of our targets, but assuming they do, I’ll be pulling out all the stocks. I’ll also be prioritizing the on-site experiments and providing Kamukura and Inori with their latest work we have for them.

Yukari...Akamatsu is still alive in there...

And when I said we were making that our top priority, I MEANT it. It’s non-negotiable...!

Don’t be such a fool! This obsession you have with murdering Kaede Akamatsu, and openly prioritizing it over Danganronpa is ridiculous!

...

I joined you because I loved your vision of Despair, and wanted to see it come to fruition! But making sure everyone stays in line and sticking to the plan is LITERALLY my freaking job!

This innate desire needs to stop! Otherwise, we risk losing everything! I understand how you feel, but we can’t just-

NO YOU DON’T!

!!?

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND A DAMN THING ABOUT WHAT I FEEL! GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE!!!

*Tsumugi snaps, her eyes becoming enraged and delirious!

I have been suffering with these emotions for 11 years, Yukari! 11! FUCKING! YEARS! Living constantly with the fear that she might rear her bimbo blonde head, and OH LOOK! IT HAPPENED JUST AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD!

Do you not know how many times I fallen asleep at night, and had NIGHTMARES of the things that she did to me in my old life!? Every bad thing that happened to me, from the moment the shotput trap went off to now, is that BITCH’S FAULT!

And now she’s come back to ruin everything again! You’re saying that if I stay on this path, we risk losing everything we’ve worked towards together, but so long as Kaede Akamatsu continues breathing, IT’S A GUARANTEEEEEEEEE!

M-Mugi-chan, wait! Please-I-I-I didn’t-!

Do you not think I’ve already CONSIDERED all of this stuff...!? That I’m fully aware my past has left me and everyone else in a vulnerable state!?

I want to make my Killing Game come true...SO...BADLY...! I’ve loved Danganronpa forever, and getting to hold my own perfect Killing Game is my goal in life.

BUT IT’S BECAUSE OF AKAMATSU THAT I NEVER GOT THAT BEFORE! SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WOULD EVER EVER EVER EVER RISK HER RUINING MY LIFE AGAIN!? SO DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE PRETEND THAT YOU-

TSUMUGI!

!!??

Cut it out! You’re scaring her!

...!?

...

...!

*Tsumugi is suddenly hit with a tide of guilt as she sees Yukari’s panicked and distraught face. She bites her lip, and forcefully composes herself.

...

...

...

*An awkward and tragic silence follows.

*sigh* Look...I know you’re worried...Maybe things would have been easier if I’d just...communicated my feelings better but...

This is...this has been eating me for a while...I can’t just...change my mind...at least, I can’t right now...I just...

It’s alright...Really...

Your reaction to this is above and beyond what I originally thought you were suffering with...I thought it was just an unexplainable spite that was clouding your judgement, but...after all this, this isn’t simply hatred...

This is...trauma...

...

That’s a good word for it...

I haven’t talked a lot about my life before and during the V3 Killing Game, because it’s personal to me...But if it helps you understand more-

As much as I would like that, you don’t have to do that. I think you released all of your emotions just now...

But the point is if you’re that conflicted and focused on this, then I won’t push any further.

I may be Zetsubou’s planner, but you are, and always will be, the Mastermind. 

I never could have thought that this topic would cause you so much pain. I’m sorry I ever brought it up.

No, no! Stop beating yourself up! You’re right that the topic isn’t something I can handle well, but it’s got nothing to do with you. I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that.

If anyone’s insensitive, it’s me. I know that this kind of affects you, but I did it anyway...

Don’t be sorry. I’d be a pretty crappy counselor if I couldn’t take a couple of people screaming at me.

But there’s something I want you to know, Tsumugi. You might not think of it this way, and I don’t blame you, given how much has happened between us...But we’re on your side.

Me, Junko, Akira, Narumi, Mikihiko, Celeste...We’re still here to help.

Admittedly, it’s hard to say whether Kamukura, Komaeda, Otonokoji and Gyalusetsu are the same way...and I know that most of the personalities here make it hard to communicate like normal people, but...

We got this far because of you. We’re all still here, doing hard work and stepping back to admire it, because of you! And I’m here, still trying hard, because your dreams are my dreams...

We know that we’d be a pretty garbage team if we didn’t support each other. And who says we can’t make friends and loved ones just because we’re the bad guys.

We’ll follow you...to hell and back.

...Yukari...

I mean...it’d be hard for Yukari here to fit in anywhere else, so long as I’m stuck in her brain.

Junko, please! She just spilled her guts and you expect me to just ignore her!?

Oh, don’t mind me. Just hurry up and kiss her for me, will you?

Ugh...Fine!

That’s...ok, right?

Yeah...

*They lean in and smooch.

Honestly...I can’t believe you said all of that.

Like I told you...I’m here for you...and making sure things stay in line is my job.

...You also said you’d be here for me...

Well...can you stay here...for me?

Huh? Ah-!

*Tsumugi holds Yukari and falls back onto the bed.

...Mugi!?

...I-I’m not asking for anything...I just...need some comfort...

*sigh* Alright...I’ll stay...

*Tsumugi and Yukari stay lying on the bed, cuddling, spending some much needed quiet time with one another.

[litcityblues]

'Transformers: Age of Extinction --A Review

Look, I'm not naive. No one is going to mistake a Transformers movie for high art- that's not what these movies are for. You get some popcorn, you sit down, you get a frosty beverage and you watch gigantic metal robots beat the living fuck out of each for a couple of hours and you have a moderately entertaining time. Similarly, this is a Michael Bay movie. He is many things, but Martin Scorsese he is not and his movies tend to be a visual assault on the senses for a couple of hours and I'll give him this: he has a distinct visual style. Things like 'plot' and 'acting', if they happen are just bonuses.

Medium Spawn Jr. has become obsessed with these movies and, since he's five and the wife was having her book club downstairs while I wanted to watch Ahsoka, he wanted to watch Transformers: Age of Extinction, so I, being the good parent that I am, granted his wish, sat down and watched this movie.

I am amazed by this movie. I am amazed that it grossed $1.104 billion dollars at the box office. I am amazed that it somehow managed to get Stanley Tucci, Mark Wahlberg, Kelsey Grammer, and Titus Welliver to agree to be in it-- though in their defense, actors have to eat and pay their bills, so I can't fault them for that.

This movie opens by explaining that 'The Creators' (whoever they are) dumped a bunch of 'seeds' all over the Earth 65 million years ago and wiped out the dinosaurs- providing the viewer with a big, gigantic tease that perhaps the Dinobots are involved in this movie, but viewer, prepare yourself for disappointment because they don't really feature all that much at all.

In the present day, it turns out the Autobots have been driven underground following the Battle of Chicago because humanity panicked and didn't want to make distinctions between the 'good robots' and the 'bad robots' and a CIA Black Ops Unit has teamed up with a Cybertronian bounty hunter to find the survivors.

Meanwhile, in Texas- because that's where you want to put Mark Wahlberg if he's in a movie. Texas. Inventor Cade Yeager is struggling to keep his house and make money. (I'll be honest: his whole character arc would have worked a lot better if he had been a mechanic who is a would-be inventor in Boston, but hey. Choices were made.) He's a single father to Tessa (Nicola Peitz) and because he was a teen Dad, he's super overprotective and doesn't want Tessa dating.

Naturally, this means that she is.

Look, I have nothing against Nicola Peitz. She does well enough with the material she's given to work with, but there is very much, "What if we take Megan Fox's character from the first movie, dress her the same way, make her blonde, and give her pink lipstick" thing going on here that is just, well, lazy. If we must keep making these movies, can we try a different type of female character? Just to see what happens?

One thing leads to another and Cade finds an abandoned truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime and his well-meaning associate/employee Lucas Flannery (T.J. Miller) notifies the government that they might have found an Autobot in hopes of getting the reward money and, more to the point, making some actual money. That brings the bad guys and bounty hunters and things start exploding- and when anything explodes in this movie, it seems to set off fireworks as well, Optimus starts fighting and they are rescued in the nick of time by Tessa's secret boyfriend, the rally car driver, Shane (Jack Reynor.)

Craziest thing ever: according to the wiki-page for this movie, he's supposed to be Irish, but you could have fooled me because I didn't pick up on that at all.

Also, in a super-endearing moment when over-protective Dad, Cade finds out that Shane is 20 and Tessa is 17 and objects to that for obvious, potential statutory rape reasons, Shane whips out an actual, laminated copy of Texas' Romeo and Juliet law and smugly informs Cade that they had a pre-existing foundation for their relationship so it's not statutory rape at all. (If you carry around a laminated copy of a law to prove that your relationship isn't, well, creepy and potentially illegal, perhaps you should date someone your own age. Just saying.)

There are the usual plot points, action shots, robot fights, and product placement that's about as subtle as a brick to the back of the head. (Mark Wahlberg angrily drinks a Bud Light at one point and yells at a motorist which is hilarious in today's context.)

But what really matters isn't how this movie ends, it's where this movie ends, because of a creative decision that I'm sure got every studio executive involved in this movie absolutely slobbering with glee, they find a reason to go to China and in a quest to get that sweet, sweet, Chinese box office money.

Banking on the fact that American audiences will no absolutely nothing about Chinese geography and that Chinese audiences will just be excited to see giant robot fights, nothing makes sense. They land in Shanghai. Optimus goes off- literally flies with nary a problem, which I'm sure the People's Liberation Air Force just kind of shrugged and said, 'Eh, it's a gigantic flying robot. Who cares?'- to noted quiet and obscure part of China, Tianmen Mountain National Park to wake up the Dinobots- who were found at the beginning of the movie in ice like in Greenland or some shit, but are now somehow in China. Characters blow up a factory in Shanghai but somehow decide that they have to get to Hong Kong- 700 miles away, but I'm sure easier to film in at the time.

There is a big showdown in Hong Kong, including the 'not at all insisted upon by the Chinese government' lines of a Hong Kong Police Officer saying 'We'll need help from the Central Government!' and the heroic defense minister- finally noticing that there are gigantic robots wrecking up the place assuring everyone, 'The Central Government will always defend Hong Kong!" This movie was made in 2014, well before the Chinese government got tired of the whole democracy business and crushed it in Hong Kong, but man do those lines hit differently today. The Dinobots (remember them?) show up to save the day and Optimus is riding one of them and it's kind of cool, but other than that, they serve their purpose as a largely meaningless plot point. Just for kicks- again, as subtle as a brick to the back of the head- we see a blown-up bus with a Victoria's Secret ad featured on it and just to remind audiences that they're in China, Stanley Tucci's character gets pissed that they get trapped in a store with a lot of windows and sweeps a table clear of mah-jong tiles.

The greatest crime of all? Somehow this movie is 2 HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES LONG.

My Grade: * out of ****. Do not watch this movie, unless you enjoy hate-watching movies, then you'll have a great time.

[13beachesxx]

wondering if i get so melancholy every year around this time because for roughly the first 18 years of my life, it was a time of joy and excitement. i loved back to school day so much. so much. the new stationery i'd get to gear up for it, my shiny pretty pencil case, whatever backpack i was rocking that year (fond memories of my black and pink powerpuff girls backpack and also my pale blue snoopy backpack!), what outfit i was gonna wear, my hair....one time i even decided i was gonna debut cornrows on the first day back lol. 3 hours in a hair stylist's chair just to look snazzy for first day back. the excitement in the air was so palpable i could probably pee myself from excitement on the drive up to the school. seeing all your favorite teachers' faces, seeing all your old friends, and the new kids — oh my god, the new kids. us boy obsessed girls immediately trying to assess if there were any new hot guys this year or if that was a wasted hope, scoping out everybody who looked new and unfamiliar, immediately grabbing the new girls and getting them to sit with us, get to know us, get to know all about them and accept them into our fold.

i know i tend to rose tint SO many things in my past and that too might be a trauma reaction to paper over all the bad, but my god was school my happy place and refuge. i did not experience SAD in my childhood or teens because well, for starters, it didn't get as cold in the city as in england or here up in the mountains. or in moscow, but whether the cold ass weather had any effect on me back then, difficult to say. i think not. probably more like i enjoyed it because of all the fun stuff, ice skating, sledding etc. that particular affliction probably came on with my depression and compounded every year after i turned 18 until it finally hit me that every year, without fail, i was becoming extra suicidal each november. now at least i know and and can steel myself and prepare and that somehow mitigates the worst of it.

but yeah.... maybe this is it. i read some girl's account of how she remembers a particular trauma every august, that without intending to, her body remembers it and she tenses up and feels those effects. can you feel something equally profound for a happy memory that you miss now? maybe that's a part of it. i always felt so bittersweet seeing "back to school" banners in stores or online shops, even back when i was going to uni, knowing that demographic no longer includes me. that used to be one of my favorite times of year, as slow boring summers came to an end and the excitement of a new school year crept up, slowly, even as it was still hot. shit i could probably rival harry's excitement getting on the hogwarts train, and i don't think my family situation was half as dreadful as his ever. it was just an exciting, happy time, and to think that my autumns have become...very much not that, well i could just cry thinking about it. the acute and vast gap between the two experiences is indeed great. i think i long for the structure too, the blocked out blocks of days that were scheduled for me, the after curriculars, all of that. you really don't have time to be sad about the weather changing when you're so fucking busy with basketball practice or trying to put on a play. you really don't.

now i'm like lmao should i just get some qualifications and go into teaching. lowkey it would feel like a hack of getting some of that magic back, as an adult. maybe if all my dreams end up in the toilet and none of it pans out, i could do that. a new backup plan lol. or nah, i would probably not like the reality of being a teacher, not at all. i just want to feel the magic of getting out of the car and seeing my favorite teacher. i miss them all so.

[sasha-whos-askin-racket]

I am absolutely obsessed with the Catesby and Percys dynamic, in regard to their awareness of the outcome of the plot and the way that they all approach it?? Like, in The Cold Hard Ground, Catesby literally says “it’s too late to save me.” He knows that. Right off the bat, he knows how this’ll end for him, even though the mere idea of the gunpowder plot is just a speck in the distance at this point, assuming this is narratively one of the earlier songs. He also - as is the point of the entire song really - doesn’t give a shit and is fully prepared to face his death, in whatever form it comes and whenever it comes.  At this point in the musical, he isn’t talking about dying in a valiant attempt to take out James, he’s talking about his outlook on death in general, and this ends up sticking throughout the rest of the musical.

How much Thomas is aware of this, I’m really not sure? Personally, I don’t think he is. The way he talks about Catesby, especially in Blind Faith, (which I’m assuming takes place after they’ve realised James is a monumental fuck-up and not while Elizabeth is still reigning), he has way too much fucking faith in the guy. Like, again, right out of the bat, we know that Catesby is basically willingly marching to his death knowing that it’ll end in his death, he’s just so busy mourning his wife and being bitter about the monarchy and religious divides that he really doesn’t care whether he lives or dies (remember, historically Catesby didn’t become devoutly Catholic until after his wife died.)  But Thomas talks about him like he thinks they’re genuinely going to emerge victorious? When he talks about Catesby cleansing his sins, and even directly stating that “I know he has my trust.”  Pretty sure Thomas thinks Catesby’s going to get them all through it in one piece, while Catesby has no intention of coming out the other side alive. 

But you know who does realise this? Martha. She knows. That’s what The Inevitable is all about. It’s her realising that Thomas is so enamoured with Catesby that he’s going to just, blindly follow him to his death, and that there’s nothing she can say or do to get him to change his mind. Thomas is so wrapped up in the plot, so wrapped up in his admiration and love for Catesby that he just. Doesn’t see he’s being led right into his death. Catesby knows it. Martha knows it. Some of the other plotters have probably worked it out as well. Has Thomas? Nope. Because that “blind faith” that he was talking about having earlier in the musical? It’s overpowered everything, including his own fucking wife. And again, Martha is aware of that, she’s aware of it and she blames herself for letting Thomas get wrapped up in it. 

I am just thinking so hard about the fact that everyone apart from Thomas can see that he’s being led to his death. And Martha at least is aware of the fact that Thomas probably has no idea that’s how it’s going to end. I could argue both for and against Catesby assuming Thomas is following him to his death willingly, but I don’t think it matters either way. It doesn’t change what happens to either of them, nor would it change the opinions they have of each other.  I’m super interested in seeing what kind of song we get for Thomas and Catesby’s death, since I’m assuming it’ll be depicted and we know that historically Thomas was one of the few supporters who stuck by Catesby until the end, with the two of them dying together. I’m intrigued to see if it ever clicks for him or if that blind faith follows him all the way to the end. 

Anyway yeah. Thomas Percy. Goddamn I love this musical so much already.

(I’m also super interested in the way Thomas is portrayed in the musical vs how he was historically, as well as the incredibly unequal nature of Thomas and Catesby’s dynamic but that’s a post for another day.)