#also god this is such a real moment. being told you look gay one time and making a whole Thing out of it. we've all been there girls

[mommyashtoreth]

Wine drunk with no man to feel up

[kamii-2]

you should make a kk arnold or ice brady or nika mühl fic when the reader is straight but one of them turns them 🌸 and then it ends in like a heavy smut.

so basically like pick from one😭, but like imagine one of them with a strap and they whisper in the readers calling them a slut for them😱.

especially nika in her accent 😱😫

-👾

hi 👾 anon!! i love the request so much and this is my first time writing for nika so i’m sorry if it’s out of character and im so sorry it’s so late ive been busy lately and right now is the only time i get to write. this story is pretty long ALSO i might make this a series bc i love this request so much bro 😭

warning(s): cussing, smut

genre: fluff & smut

pairing(s): nika mühl x reader

not proofread ‼️

==================================

everyone knew you were gay but you just didn’t know it. the way you stared at nika every time she walked past made everyone suspicious, except yourself. you took it as you had a friend crush on her even though you guys were already friends, you thought that maybe you jsut wanted to get closer to her? you weren’t sure and hoped it stopped but didn’t at the same time. nika on the other hand, she knew you wanted her but played it cool because she knew you were confused about your sexuality. you had told her that you were straight but she’s no idiot, she sees the way you eye her down.

-

it was 8:39pm and you were in your room, listening to music. you were scrolling on instagram when nika popped up and you got the familiar butterfly feeling. you set your phone down and started to think of her, which lead to you thinking of fucking her, then after realizing you thought about fucking nika you immediately started to realize..

“holy shit, i’m gay.”

you knew she would be awake so you asked to come over. you texted her and she immediately replied to you, she said you could come over so you grabbed everything you needed and walked to her dorm that was at the other end of the hallway. you thought about everything that just happened as you made your way to her dorm.

when you reached her dorm you opened the door, knowing she left it unlocked for you. the moment you walked in you went straight to her room where she was sitting on her bed on her phone. when you walked in she stood up am dah be you a hug and you returned it before wucikly pulling away. “nika.” you said, “y/n.” she said with a bit of a concerned voice, you dragged her to her bed and sat her down. “you’re gonna want to sit for this.” you said and you looked down at her, she sat on the bed leaving back a little, man spreading, she looked so fine.

“okay so,” ypu hesitated, “i was in my room and i was on instagram and i started thinking and i realized im gay.” you said kind of fast and you were very nervous, you were getting hot from being flustered and near your ‘new’ crush. she smiled at you, “baby, i’ve known since forever, the way you stare at me gives it away.” she told you while sitting up and grabbing your waist. you weren’t gonna lie, you were getting wetter and wetter every second just from the sight of nika. you imagined all of the things you guys could be doing right now, and she was obviously thinking the same thing.

she pulled you into a kiss and you immediately kissed back. she caressed your body with her hands, she grabbed your ass and it took you by surprise so you gasped and she slipped her tongue in your mouth, the kiss turned from hot to heated real fast. the sexual tension was through the roof, you wanted her and she knew it. nika has been thinking about this moment for a while now, she wanted to know what your moans sounded like, what you tasted like, what you looked like under your clothes, she knew you were beautiful under but she wanted to see for herself, she wanted you and needed you badly.

she broke the kiss and stood up. “God, y/n. i need you so bad.” she said as she flipped you two around and made you lay down. she kissed you then kissed all over your neck, leaving a few hickies here and there and licking you. you needed to be touched, you were getting desperate. “please nika, do something to me.” you pleaded. she smiled on your skin before getting on her knees in between your legs, she looked up at you for consent even though she already knew the answer. “nika, just put your fingers in me already. i need you so bad.”you begged, you were getting frustrated by how slow she was going. “stop being so whiney.” she said while taking your shorts and panties off, she smiled when she seen how wet you were for her. she stuck her two fingers in you with no warning and pumped in and out of you at a normal pace. you were moaning and it was just like she had imagined.

the sound of your angelic moans made her want to taste you, she added her mouth and ate you like you were her last meal. you were making all of the fantasies come true, you moaning and she uses her fingers and mouth to fuck the life out of you. nika was soaked at the sight of you, she knew she was gonna have to teach you some stuff but she didn’t mind.

you were so close the cumming, a few thrust you might explode. “oh, i’m about to cum.” you moaned out, “that’s too bad, you wanna give attitude then you’re not about to do shit.” she said non-chalantly. the longer you held it the louder you got, “please nika, i need to cum. i’ll do anything im sorry for being a bitch.” you pleaded, your legs were shaking, you couldn’t take it. she removed her mouth a continued to finger fuck you and she stood up and leaned into your ear. “go ahead and cum for me.” nika whispered in your ear and went down to your neck and left big and dark hickies all over. you came and she stood up, pulled her fingers out, “i’ll be right back.” she informed you as she left the room.

when she came back she had a towel and a amazon box, she put the box the floor and helped you stand up. nika placed the towel down and told you to sit on the towel, she opened the box and pulled out a strap. “wow.” you muttered, “first time?” she glanced over at you as she took off her shorts and shirt, leaving on her black panties and bra. “no im not a virgin, just didn’t expect you to be the type to use a fake dick.” you told her with a small giggle. she looked up at you with a smile as she put the strap on, “well i am.” she told you as she walked over to you and lined herself up with you, “ready?” her hands were on your hips, gripping them hard. you nod in response, she slowly pushes into you, using your wetness as lube.

nika starts to go faster every couple thrusts and the faster she got the more pleasure you felt, “oh God!” you moaned out. your legs were threatening to close around nikas waist but she held them open. the way she thrusted in and out of you had your legs shaking after a few minutes of it.

while she was fucking you stupid and you were moaning her name she leaned down to your ear, “you’re such a slut for me.” her words made you moan loud, it gave you butterflies and it made your urge to cum stronger. she loved your reaction to this so she said something else, “who do you belong to?” this sent way over the edge, “yours, i’m all- oh, y-yours.” you were trying hard to not stutter and moan while talking but it was not easy, “yes baby, that’s right. you are all mine.” she reassured you, the pet name was your last straw, you came all over her strap. she helped you ride out your orgasm before pulling out and taking the strap off and setting it on top of you. she went to get another towel the wipe the strap snd you down.

“nika.” you called to her, “hm?” she replied as she was putting the strap back in the box. “let me please you, i want to make you feel good.” you told her while you stare at her, she smiled at this and replied with “sure, i’ll help you if you need it.” she said as you guys traded places. you got on you knees in front of her and removed her panties, she automatically spread her legs for you. you looked up at her, “im sorry if i fuck up.” you say as you start to suck on her clit. “damn, y/n i thought you didn’t know what you were doing.” she whimpered, “i don’t.” you replied from in between her. you added a finger in snd plunged in and out of her, she took your hand and made you add another finger, the amount of please was over whelming and she was a moaning mess. “fuck!” she moaned as her legs closed around your head, you pry her legs back open with one hand. you started to suck harder and finger her faster, she pushed your head down into her pussy. she was moaning loud and cussing, some words in english some in croatian.

“oh, y/n i’m cumming.” she informed you while her legs were shaking, “do it.” just as you said those words she came in your mouth and you licked all of it. while you got off your knees she walked to the bathroom to clean up, you followed her and helped her.

-

you guys were both getting dressed when she sat next to you, “so, what are we?” you asked her. “y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” she asked you, “yes nika i will.” you smiled and kissed her.

you both spent the rest of the night cuddling, watching movies, and more. you were happy you came over after your realization or none of this would’ve happened.

==================================

i’m so so so so so sorry this took so long to get out but i hope you enjoyed!! also id like to clarify the strap nika used was NOT used on anyone else but anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE *  assorted (and slightly adapted to suit this meme format) dialogue from the book by casey mcquiston, adjust as necessary

on purpose. i love him on purpose.

i've always thought of myself as a problem that deserved to stay hidden.

i'm going to have you offed. you'll never see it coming.

take anything you want and know you deserve to have it.

get in there.

you're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state.

before you, i was all right letting everything happen to me.

i can't believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.

sorry, are we not? did i skip ahead again?

you've been warned.

he died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.

my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person.

hey, have i told you lately that you're brave?

i honestly have never thought i deserved to choose.

we're gonna make it work. you and me and history, remember?

if you finish that sentence, i'm gonna spend tonight in jail.

but the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.

i actively wish for the sweet release of death.

yes, good, carry on.

i won't hear a word against it.

we're gonna do it together.

i said you look great, baby!

i meet you in every dream, and when i wake i cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness.

i'm so in love i could die.

you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse.

i wonder if it's too late to swan dive off the roof.

i'm learning all your hidden depths today, sweetheart.

you must invent an entirely new system.

a curious thing about grief is the way it takes your entire life, all those foundational years that made you who you are, and makes them so painful to look back on.

he's proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is.

i've bloody well had it!

we can unpack the ironic symbolism later.

that's beyond our sense of decorum!

i'm not afraid of anything i feel. i'm afraid of saying it. i'm only afraid of what happens when i do.

aw, you do care.

if there's any legacy for me on this earth, i want it to be true.

straight people probably don't spend this much time convincing themselves that they're straight.

the moment you first called me a prick, my fate was sealed.

you are the absolute worst idea i've ever had.

should i tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams?

can you perhaps stop putting your sodding life in danger now?

what are we even defending here?

history will remember us.

when i sleep, i see you.

i hate this so much.

every person who bears a legacy makes the choice of a partner with whom they will share it with.

we're just gonna fucking fight.

he is my choice.

i can appreciate that maybe this isn't your fault.

i've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mom.

when i wake up in the morning, it feels like i've just been with you.

i can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache.

your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing.

for a few moments, i can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all.

the phrase 'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing you have ever written me.

i promise you, one day we'll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you.

i want to set myself on fire, but i can't afford for anyone to see me burn.

you see, for me, memories are difficult.

never tell me the odds.

i wish there weren't a wall.

jesus christ, it's like they can see into your soul.

you're it, okay? i'm never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you.

i'm finished. i don't care.

god, i want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you.

the whole world watched, and history remembered.

are you quite finished?

just so we're clear. i'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family.

you insane, hopeless romantic little shit.

[landwriter]

Hello Mrs landwriter. Would you consider writing a continuation of your You've Got Mail Dreamling AU? I just stumbled across it and it's really very good and I am yearning for more. Much love to you 💖

part one for context. I would also like to take the opportunity to announce that despite my Advanced Internet Age of late twenties, I am scandalously unwed and unattached. any and all comers are welcome to pitch me for my hand in marriage in my askbox.

OP - thank you so much! I have plans to write a full You’ve Got Mail AU at some point but here is another scene, just for you! thanks for enabling me :)

---

“8 o’clock, boss, right on time,” said Matthew, as they stopped outside the cafe that was definitely gonna be Morpheus’ future Last Known Location. “This mystery penpal date is some real serial killer shit, man. You know? He could be anyone.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus, and turned to look at him with a terrifyingly smitten expression. “A mystery he may be, but he is still the single most charming person I have ever come in contact with. The way he writes of life. The stories he tells! His passion, his hunger, his wit. He could be a bike messenger, and I would be a madman to not turn my life upside down and marry him.”

Matthew felt the rare, exquisite discomfort of actually being the fuckin’ voice of reason in a situation. “You don’t even know what he looks like, boss. Marriage seems a bit, uh, full on? If you haven’t even swapped photos?”

Morpheus regarded him a little satisfied smirk. “We haven’t exchanged pictures of our faces, no.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said in disbelief. Morpheus just raised his eyebrows. “You slut! What is it with gay dudes and-”

“It would be tremendously unprofessional for my assistant to make generalizations about an entire population,” said Morpheus. He sniffed. “Also, he is bisexual.”

“Okay, okay, boss, he’s bisexual, my bad, how about the professionalism of dragging your assistant to your date with this mystery bisexual whose name you don’t even know?” He was, truth be told, pretty fuckin’ invested at this point, but if he could guilt Morpheus into a more generous Christmas bonus, he would. Shame was for suckers.

“You are here in your capacity as my friend,” said Morpheus. Oh, the cold-hearted asshole, invoking their friendship on a Nets game night.

“Then at least let me be homophobic!” he protested. A passerby glared at him. Tourists. “You only get to choose one, man. Loyal assistant or lovably brash bosom buddy, making the protagonist look like less of an-”

“Go on, then,” said Morpheus, heading off his loving insult and folding his arms expectantly.

“No, fuck, the moment is gone. It’s not the same if you give me permission, man. I’m taking an I-O-U for later. One homophobia, when you least expect it,” he said.

Morpheus, who actually did look like he might vomit from his nerves at any moment, at least rolled his eyes at that. That was something.

This was definitely a pep talk moment. God, he was shit at pep talks.

“Well, I’ve loyally delivered you to your fate, or date, or whatever, so, uh, have fun! Don’t get stabbed, text me how it goes, and remember: don’t let him take you to a second location. That’s how they get you, boss. Unless I’m in your will. Then totally do,” he said. He clapped Morpheus on the shoulder and added, in all his generosity of spirit, “Good luck, man. You’ve got this.”

Morpheus clapped a hand on his shoulder too. It stayed. It squeezed painfully tight. “Matthew. My best friend,” he said.

“Yeah?” he asked. This was not good. This was Big Favor shit coming on, he could smell it.

“Would you go and look for me?” asked Morpheus, in a rush.

“Me?” he asked, and thought That’s it? Morpheus had it bad. So, so bad.

“Yes. Just go look through the window and check him out. Please,” said Morpheus. His voice was edged with hysteria. Matthew thought he might actually start to vibrate apart.

“You’re pathetic, boss,” he said, cheerfully. “Also, that’s creepy as fuck.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus.

“Alright, alright bossman. I’m going. I’m looking. As your best friend.”

Morpheus nodded and sat himself down heavily on a nearby bench. It sounded like he was doing La Maze breathing.

He climbed the steps and, yes, very fuckin’ creepily peered through the window into the cafe. All groups and couples, definitely not Mystery Bisexual, except - there was a waiter taking an order from the table at the back. There was a closed book on the table. “Is he uh, supposed to have a book or something? You know, since you don’t know what his face looks like?” he asked, and didn’t even make the joke, excellent best friend that he was.

“Yes,” said Morpheus. “Yes, and?”

“And the waiter’s blocking him,” he said. “Wait, hold on, he’s moving-” The waiter left and he sucked in a breath.

“Well? Can you see him? Can you see him?”

“Uh,” he said, dumbly.

“Matthew, New York is an at-will employment state. Matthew. What do you see.”

“I can see him,” he said, slowly. Well, at least Morpheus wouldn’t get murdered by his date. Or he would, actually, but at least Matthew would be able to point the cops in the right direction.

“And?” Or - third possibility - Matthew would be the one murdered, by his own  best friend.

“He’s, uh, he’s hot, boss.” He was. Nice smile, warm eyes, broad shoulders. The sort of approachable hot guy-ness that could make another guy wonder about sucking dick after a few drinks. Y’know. Theoretically.

“I knew it,” said Morpheus, triumphantly. “I knew it. I knew he would be, Matthew. He had to be. Had. To. Be.” He laughed in delight.

Matthew had never heard him sound happier in his life. It was fuckin’ unnerving. He felt like he was witnessing a Great White cavorting through the water like a dolphin. Felt wrong. Felt a bit too toothy. He took a moment to mourn his Christmas bonus, and then sighed and spoke again.

“Uh, boss, it’s just. He sort of looks like, uh, that Hob guy?”

“What, Hob Gadling with the little bookstore?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s hot, right?”

“Yes. I suppose. Absolutely. I don’t care about Hob Gadling. He’s irrelevant.”

Hoo-fuckin’-boy. Matthew grimaced.

“Boss, if you don’t like Hob Gadling, I can uh, I can promise you, you’re not gonna like your man with the book.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is Hob Gadling.”

[george-harrisons-last-biscuit]

Rewatching Help instead of sleeping Part 1

Why do we start this movie with human sacrifice and then immediately go into a music video for help?

Also I was just at an Aztec temple for the Sun God and they also did human sacrifices. I was told by the guide that a most of their sacrifices would volunteer.

Where did they get the screen playing the Beatles that they’re throwing darts at? Also I realize I should give visuals so here’s. A shitty photo taken of my laptop and a photo of the temple:

I’m so confused what religion/culture are they trying to imitate here with the human sacrifice ring people.

I love their house and this scene so much. I need an entire movie that’s just the Beatles living in this house. Is this what the show big brother is like? Just 4 houses without walls in between them.

I love how there’s just a random guy in George’s room who cuts his lawn with mechanical teeth and John pulls out his own book to read

How did that woman get into their house and have no one call the cops. Wait is it ever explained how ringo got the ring? Im only 8 minutes in I need to slow my roll.

This is so unapologetically racist beginning to end.

I can really tell they were high out of their fucking mind for the filming of this movie. Also the “Everyone laughs at Ringo’s Sudden Apprehension” reminds me of this scene in Velocipastor:

I remember the first time I watched this movie I had to look up the plot to it because I was so wildly confused.

There at some sort of restaurant with belly dancers and all the chef are being killed. Listen man you can try to kill Ringo without harming the employees.

Oh some fan gave him the ring that’s why.

Why are there so many words appearing in scream explaining what’s happening? I think I could’ve guessed they were going to a ring specialist

There’s so many batshit lines in this. Was this version of Ringo dropped on his head as a child why is he saying he likes to have his head stuck in between railing?

You know the writers were like “the fan girls are gonna love this” when ringo’s pants fell off. 

I love her outfits in this movie but this has to be my favorite so far. I regret being completely sober for this re-watch.

I’m gonna stop commenting on the racism now but holy fuck did this not age well.

Also Paul being tiny and naked on the floor is also a fantastic moment of fan-service that Beatles fans definitely fell for.

I think these scientist are definitely a gay couple. They have a real sort of Dr Honeydew and Beaker vibe to them.

It’s ice time now.

Hearing George call the bomb a “fiendish thingy” is so much more fun knowing that I know about the vomit pet.

Bro almost got Saint Sebastian-ed. Also I feel like arrows through a window is a pretty ineffective way to kill someone like it’s too unpredictable.

Part 2

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Armys and Jkkrs normalized the hate on jimin, i feel jkkrs played their role in getting hate on him. 1) Shipping non-existent couple in a way they always be on ass of tkkr i.e provoking just like jjks on pjms (i see something here) & 2) They started anti-v too, when asked they give validation "tkkrs hating jimin for same reasons". Btw jimin is frnd with v but god forbid if pjms are disliking jk for any reason then they are anti-jimin because pjms hating his frnd/bf/love (hypocrisy, aren't they?). I despise jkkrs n their fave solos jjks more than ever and armys are useless fandom who are here for sexualizing jk and see him as some trophy just like bts.

Jikookers don't really care about Jimin hate, and that's it. Most of them don't care. They're Jungkook biased or even borderline Jungkook solos, so why should they care that Jimin's life has been threatened and he's been harrassed and defamed for years? It's not precious Jungkookie after all.

I've already talked about this soooo many times, I swear. I just don't really save my posts. But jikookers have also weaponized Jimin's affection for Jimin. I mean what you're saying about them "provoking" taekookers, because that's literally what they've done for years. In all of taekookers' hate tweets you'll always see jikookers bringing up moments where Jimin was being affectionate with Jungkook and use it as a "gotcha moment" that they think proved jikook real. Just to piss taekookers. And the only person getting the short stick out of that has always been Jimin.

They get off on the hate Jimin gets because to them it's validation. "Jikook get hoes mad" "they're threatened" "they hate them because they see there's more" - no, they don't. They hate it because they hate JIMIN. I saw this mostly on twitter, but the most delusional jikookers here also use the same logic. "If they're hating it's because they see more". Sometimes people just hate. This was never a reversed psychology case. "They're gonna be crying" no - they will be sending death threats to Jimin and trying to tell the military that he's gay.

Even today, can you believe that? Even today with JK solos tagging the military and everything, jikookers were on report tweets saying that their love got people mad or whatever. Talking as if they were doing that because they want to break up the jikook couple. No, they're literally doing that because they hate Jimin and they hate that he's not a straight man like Jungkook. They're not doing that because they see a couple, they're doing that because they're mad that the company is trying to sell them something they already DON'T believe in.

Jikookers see Jimin getting hate and to them it's validation for the ship. I kid you not, it makes them feel better. It makes them feel like the ship must be real if it's getting hate. Earlier this year, I don't remember what happened and I saw on twitter a jikooker say "taekookers hating again WE'RE SO BACK".

Literally yesterday I said that jikook has never brought anything good or useful for Jimin, and look what happened today. I will die on this hill. I don't say it just because, I say it all the time because I've been here long enough and I've seen it happen over and over again. If you'd asked me in 2018 or 2019, I would've also told you that jikook was never good for Jimin because I've had to watch the reactions and cry and get angry for years.

The only person ships ever benefitted and still benefit, is Jungkook. It doesn't matter if it's jikook or taekook or even namkook, it all benefits Jungkook the most, sometimes he's the only one of the pair getting anything good from it like with jikook.

Even now with this reality show that was so conveniently arranged to start filming when seven was released, and now there's a whole public schedule filming again in the same week some other Jungkook thing is apparently happening lmao. It's textbook marketing.

Jikookers got angry when I said people shouldn't support Jungkook (jikook content in this case) because to them, getting less engagement would send a message to the company that people aren't interested in jikook content and they were shaking and throwing up over the prospect of not getting more jikook content provided by the company. They said that it would mean Jimin is not attracting audience and it would make the company think there's no demand for him. W T F. The company doesn't give a flying fck about Jimin, to begin with. They could've realized there was demand for him when people spent 8 months asking for a CD restock. I personally don't want anyone to think Jimin is in "demand" because his ship content gets engagement, thank you very much. Taekook already exists. Half or even more of those jikookers are gonna be liking the clips on twitter and then streaming and voting exclusively for Jungkook, just like taekookers are doing. They can keep their engagement.

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

I'm gonna share it here because I don't have any other place to put it and if you dislike it's ok ignore this

But I have had this specific idea in my mind for days now where Damian is secretly trans, they just fear telling it to their family because they know everyone is just waiting for them to become batman or the demon, they're under a lot of pressure and then meet this boy (from school probably - both always meet in the art room when is nobody around, more calm to work)

They end talking a lot about art and stuff because they're in the same club, in one day Damian told this boy that they are always drawing their ideal girl but not "I would love to date her" but "I would love to be born as her, if I'm a girl I would love to be her" way

They keep meeting like that, sometimes they just talk about art, life or stay in silence. This boy ends up falling in love with Damian in both ways. Some stuff happens and Damian telling him about being Robin and their emotional struggling

This boy also has problems and the art room is a safeplace for them

At some point they kiss and decide to run away for their family together, start a new life with a new name in some God forsaken place

Years pass (maybe 3-4) and Danny (Damian's new name) is now a housewife in this farm, she always uses gloves when she goes in the small town to do stuff (bat paranoid still alive) and the boy is her boyfriend/husband, they're happy, they have animals then big bad stuff happens and Danny safe the day (everyone knows something is off with that couple but they accept it because they're nice) unfortunately there was a hero in that city and the hero saw what Danny did, then start investigating who is Danny

The hero then starts stalking the couple because they think her way to fight is too similar with the league of assassins and dislike it, Danny dislikes her stalker but doesn't kill them

Shit happens (again) in Gotham and Danny knows it, worrying about her family and with all the stalking things she decides to go back to Gotham, her boyfriend / husband doesn't like it (he hates it actually)

Honestly I have so many no happy ideas about this fic, this fic could end really bad but also some cute ideas like Danny and her partner save money for this new life and stuff, or they first kiss, the joy of wearing a dress in the street for the first time

Idk if I'll write this or just suffer with this idea, also Damian's new name could be: Danielle/Danny, Yesenia (Arab name) or other still doesn't know (I just want to talk about this with someone)

Oh yeah, Trans MTF Damian, like I kept almost writing with my "Damian the Mangaka" Fic! I've always moreso liked trans FTM Damian because I'm trans FTM and if I was going stealth I'd hate for someone to write a fic where I'm a girl. But like, Damian isnt a real person, nor stealth FTM, so it's just a weird little hyper-empathy thing.

I love the name Yesenia! and I love her retiring. Consider: BF/Husband is FTM. T4T gotta love it. Also for your consideration: Bf/Husband is Jon (maybe trans maybe not). ALSO for your consideration: GF/Wife is Jon. She goes by Sadie. She's super into the headpats meta. Loves stuffed animals. Yesenia coming out inspires her to come out as well and Yesenia is like "my yuri fantasies are coming true."

Yesenia looks just like Talia. It's adorable. She loves having long hair. Sadie is a butch lesbian and Yesenia thinks its soo attractive. She starts sending Sadie memes about crushing on butch women and Sadie is like "...do you like me?" Yesenia is like "What haha whatever gave you that impression?" "Well.... I like you. I can be your hot butch gf." Yesenia dies of gay panic (very sad story) just kidding they get MARRIED!!! LETS GO LESBIANS! I so so love jondami au where they are rebellious teenage lesbians. I want them to have sleepovers where they look back and go "Oh that whole thing was one giant egg moment."

[castleclerics]

byler have already been romantically involved theory

(or kissed or had little moments but regardless they’re both too scared to speak of it again)

gonna be adding on to my headcannon about mike and will kissing before but the audience not knowing yet which i’m starting to think could be possible.

let’s start with the rain fight scene

one of the first times i ever watched it (a few days after s3 for ref) i literally thought some lines implied that they’ve had a thing before/kissed. and this was only when i knew will was gay i never even considered him liking mike at this point or them ever being together which is super interesting. so, going off my very first instinct of this scene i’m gonna break it down.

first off watching this scene with this perspective in mind kind of makes so much sense it feels like everything falls into place. also realizing this is just another part of their miscommunication trope.

“—so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?”

will thought they were on the same page in their relationship which is why he’s so confused as to why mike wants to do nothing but makeout with el all the time. he thought they were in this together even if they unofficially were together romantically.

“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”

mike basically saying “it’s not my fault you didn’t move on from that one time we kissed. i moved on you were supposed to too, i’m not actually gay that was me just experimenting i’m not actually gay like you, you got the wrong idea” his insecurities are showing, he’s trying to keep on a normal not gay path, (even though we all know he’s never stopped liking will) probably because him being vulnerable with will before freaked him out because he realized his feelings for him we’re all too real.

will’s face captures a huge range of emotions but i do remember thinking there was an element of disbelief. especially in terms that he couldn’t believe mike was leaving him alone in all of this and that now he has to go through his queerness and love for his friend alone, when mike possibly told him otherwise.

“but we’re not kids anymore”

possibly implying that them kissing or showing their feelings for one another was just a “kid thing” and now since they’re growing up more will should be on the same page as him.

“i mean what did you think really? that we were never gonna get girlfriends? that we were just gonna sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?”

who wants to bet mike and will agreed at some point that this would be their life together, hence why it’s talked about so much in the show. but now mike is backtracking. and that’s why will goes “yeah, i guess i did. i really did.” as in “i did because you’re the one who TOLD me this is how it would be for us” especially with his passive aggressive facial expression which completely explains why he would make that face and why the delivery of that line implied they’ve discussed before that this is what they both wanted, or something along those lines. it honestly doesn’t make much sense if it’s not because of this. also damn this has strong brokeback vibes. like they literally reflect the character’s struggles i’m convinced they definitely got inspo from this scene https://youtu.be/KVK6yLqY54w

like i said in my headcanon, the roller rink argument is also really telling. from the panic in mike’s voice and face when he says “what” to will straight up asking what they are to mike’s “we’re friends! we’re friends.” again, mike being like “god stop getting the wrong idea also stop digging so deep i’m trying to appear straight and you’re ruining it for me.”

now let’s look at their POVS in s4 quickly:

the first couple times mike talks about el to will it seems pretty normal but after that it’s almost like he’s testing the waters, to see will’s reaction, trying to gage if will feels anything for him at all anymore especially after their fights even though they made up. and since will keeps pushing for mike to be with el he’s convinced he has nothing there for him anymore.

will thinks he has a chance of something more being there between them again when he grabs the painting because they literally just flirted, but will slowly realizes over the roadtrip that mike is still hung up on el. that’s why he was selfless because he for the final time gets confirmation that mike doesn’t have any feelings whatsoever for him anymore. maybe that’s why it’s extra painful because they we’re so close to actually being together at one point but now will thinks he’s just lost that forever.

here’s when they flirt for ref. also just wanna say the way mike says and emphasizes “best friends” sounds like he’s implying something more lmao. also i’ve always thought it was interesting how they both are literally comfortable with flirting with each other and now i’m realizing if i’m right about this theory it’s because they’ve done it before. it’s like they’re used to it. we as an audience just don’t know that yet.

so, with all this in mind, what if when they actually confess it’s less of a “i’ve loved you this whole time” and more of a “i never stopped loving you.” LIKEEE

it also just feels like we’re purposefully left out of the loop of something more happening between them like if you watch all their scenes with that perspective it feels extremely plausible.

feel free to add onto this i’m curious if any of you can catch anything else i haven’t said i’ve been theorizing about other stuff for days on end my brain is mush at this point 😭😭 this is also one of my less srs theories and i haven’t checked for holes either bc honestly i cannot be bothered to think anymore about this theory but still !!

[asmeninas]

favorite moments in riverdale and why

oh god you’ve opened a cursed vault that will devour the entire world… we’re all going to hell and it is your fault I hope you’re happy…

Starting from the fact that this is an impossible question to answer I will simply be listing things here as they come to mind until I reach z I cannot stress enough that I did not sit down and try to think of the correct answer to this

a) Cheryl’s twin brother Jason who was also two years older than her dies and he’s Archie because everyone just compares Archie to him and Jason’s mother cries at how much they look alike and Cheryl has a vision that Archie is Jason at homecoming and then Archie is nice to Cheryl as no one but Jason had ever been nice to Cheryl so she kisses him. Cheryl lives in a gothic novel what else can I say.

b) Jughead kisses Betty for the first time and has a nightmare with a bunch of married straight people and Betty is wearing a huge ass ring and Jughead wakes up from this nightmare in the closet where he’s been sleeping.

c) Can't pick one craziest Jarchie moment but I'll narrow it down to three: (1) You know I had this stupid idea the two of us could live together in new york. what, our girlfriends? Yeah they can be in new york just far away from us. (2) Jughead leaving Betty's empty fully furnished house with electricity because it didn't feel right to be there after they've broken up because she cheated on him with Archie and then moving in next door to Archie's completely empty house to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of Archie's completely empty bedroom and then they cut the electricity and he was there reading Dune by candlelight, this after just finding Archie literally made out with his girlfriend AND (3) the statue

d) 3x05 the great escape when jughead writes archie's escape from leopold & loeb juvie by being the dungeon master of the evil dungeons and dragons game

e) cheryl starting a religion based around her brother and ending up thinking she's a living saint then finding out the town burned her ancestor abigail in a late 19th century witch hunt which leads her to curse the whole town which works

f) when archie saw only the eyes of the serial killer who almost killed his dad who later died anyway because real life and went around town looking for him and he told hiram lodge this and said "i've been going house to house to" and hiram lodge said "stare into men's eyes?" and then two seasons later Archie tells the school counselor that he's been going out at night and she instantly just says oh you're going cruising at the gay forest.

g) when archie is attacked by a bear and his fever dying dreams are the best thing that's ever happened to archie understanders

h) when s5 jughead was stuck inside Taylor Swift's right where you left me (he's still at the restaurant!!!!!!)

i) anything Percival Pickens ever did I love you Percival I'm a s6 understander to the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

j) when Cheryl said they needed to sacrifice Archie for the maple trees to make maple and said "the most powerful kind blood is that of a--" and Archie said "Cheryl, I'm not a virgin!" and Cheryl is like "yeah I know you slut" and then she cut his heart out of his chest

k) when chapter one hundred the jughead paradox was sent down to us from the gods

l) when betty got a concussion from falling from her bike when she was 8 and the hospital just did a 23andme on her dna and found the serial killer genes which even her father, who's literally a serial killer, doesn't have

m) when veronica and cheryl made out to save the world and it didn't work actually but it worked for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n) whenever someone tells archie he's a good boy and he's not dumb and has a good heart but without like. putting a bunch of heroic pressure on him. just hey archie. you don't need to do all this you're such a good boy!!!!! has this actually ever happened or did I dream I went into the show and said that. probably dream! anyway

o) OUT OF THE WAY BERT AND ERNIE

p) forget it, jughead. it's riverdale.

q) when tabitha

r) both times kj apa freely decided to kiss casey cott even though no one asked him to. I think the first time it might have been casey who decided but I still bet on kj.

s) when betty's literary hero, toni morrison, told her to not rush this time of her life because it all goes by so fast at her age, you know, like toni morrison would, and archie said wow that is so true @waystarbuttco knows what I'm talking about

t) greg araki directing an episode and thinking "wow yeah this is pretty gay that's crazy"

u) when there were three jugheads

v) hedwig's the origin of love

w) when cheryl gets to kiss women other than her show longterm girlfriend because I think she was made to just hook up with women and not be in one mostly boring relationship no offense

x) when part because of the storyline part because of real life it looked like Betty hated Jughead's guts and it was plausible she would have killed him even to her friends and tbh also plausible that she would kiss his best friend because she hates him as he later told her through voicemail coming up with my favorite description of betty, "cold fake duplicitous bitch" like yeah that's betty!!!!!!!!! that's betty at her best.

y) when they had superpowers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE HATE FUN AND THEY HATE ACTUAL COMIC BOOKS.

z) when i just turned 17 i'm master of my scene still something's sorta not completely cool yes i'm talking about the problem that i've got when things get chilly that is when i want them hot, it might sound silly but it bothers me a lot archie going left archie going right archie running any road that he can find archie never making up his all american mind making up his all american mind I LOOK AT OTHER GUYS with fire in their eyes they know the way their whole lives will play out me i don't have a clue of what i'm gonna do or even what my story is about i think it's time i make a big decision attack my problems with a sleek precision only then can i get rid of the vision of ARCHIE GOING LEFT ARCHIE GOING RIGHT ARCHIE RUNNING ANY ROAD THAT HE CAN FIND ARCHIE NEVER MAKING UP HIS ALL AMERICAN MIND MAKING UP HIS ALL AMERICAN MIND MAKING UP HIS ALL AMERICAAAN... MIND!

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

The Past, the Present, and Our Future

Summary: Luke is hospitalized and in a coma after the blast in 16.5, and Penelope is paralyzed by fear, so she turn to some friends for help.

Word count: 2277

Can also be read here on Ao3

“Hey, wanna swap out?” Tara asked, stepping into Luke’s hospital room. “You check in on JJ, Will, and the boys, and I’ll keep an eye on Luke?”

Penelope tore her eyes away from Luke for just a moment. “I… I don’t know.” She kept tracing circles on his hand with her thumb, silently willing him to wake up and look at her. “I know I should check on JJ and her family, but… I don’t want to leave him.” 

JJ and Luke had been found by their backup about five minutes after the bomb had gone off. They were injured, unconscious, and slightly burned, but they were alive. They were rushed to the hospital and placed in medically induced comas so they could heal. Penelope hadn't left Luke's side since the moment he'd been allowed visitors. 

“I’m so scared, Tara,” Penelope admitted. “And it’s parlayizng. In the past… whenever JJ was in danger, he was there to comfort me, even if I acted like I didn’t want it. And if he was in danger, JJ was there to make sure I knew he was okay. But now they could both die at any minute and I don’t know what to do! I’m just…”

“Frozen?” Tara guessed.

“Yeah. Frozen.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, Tara said, “You know, it’s nice to see you finally admit that you care about him.”

"Of course I care about him, I’m not cruel,” Penelope replied. She was silent for a moment before containing in a hushed voice, “Did you know we went out?" Even as she asked the question, Penelope couldn’t tear her eyes away from Luke.

"I'm sorry, you did what?" 

"We went out. He asked me out at my going away party, so we went out for dinner together. Just the one time."

"You know, the fact that you went out doesn't really surprise me," Tara told her. "What does surprise me, however, is that it only happened once. What happened? I would have thought that once you two got your heads out of your asses, that would be the end of it."

"I got scared," Penelope confessed. "Everything just felt so… real. I could see things getting very serious, and that terrified me. And then Covid came along and shut everything down and so I said I didn't want to be in a relationship where we couldn't see each other and that it would be best if we just stayed friends. I was so scared of things ending that I didn't even give them a chance to start."

Tara considered this for a moment. "Penelope, can I be straight with you for a second?"

Penelope smirked, the first sort of smile to grace her face in days. "I don't know, can you?"

"What do you– oh my god you did not just make a gay joke right now!" 

"I'm sorry, the opportunity was right there!" 

Tara laughed. "You know what, I'll let you have that one. Can I be straightforward with you?"

Penelope giggled, wiping away the tears that accumulated in her eyes. "Yes, yes you can." 

"I understand where you're coming from. With being scared about being serious. For the first few months of our relationship, I was terrified to be serious with Rebecca, even if I was happier than I'd ever been. Being scared… it's natural. It means you want it to work."

"Well whether or not I want it doesn't matter anymore, does it? It's been three years, I highly doubt he feels the same." 

Tara raised her eyebrows. "You're kidding, right? Have you seen the way he looks at you?" 

"Tara, the way he looks at me now isn't any different than the way he's looked at me in the past."

"So the way he looks at you is the same as the way he looked at you, say, when he asked you out?" 

Penelope's eyes went wide as the pieces clicked. "Oh. Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." 

"What do I even do with that information right now?" 

Tara placed her hand on the other woman's shoulder. "You take a break. You go check on your best friend and her family and you think about it. And then you come back and you sit by him again when you're ready." 

"And you'll call me if anything changes?" 

"You'll be the first to know." 

Penelope got up, hugged Tara, then made her way down the hall to JJ's room. "Hey," she said, knocking lightly on the doorframe. "How is she?" 

"She's stable," Will said from his position at her side. He patted the empty chair next to him. "Come, sit down." 

"Where are the boys?" Penelope asked as she sat beside him. 

"They're at her mom's. I didn't want them seeing her like this." 

"That's understandable." There was a pause, then she asked, "How are you?" She knew that if she was bad, he had to be worse. This was his wife. JJ was just her friend and Luke was her… well, she didn't know at the moment. 

"I'm paralyzed," Will confessed. "She promised she'd call me when she was walking into something dangerous. When Emily called to tell me that something had happened, I had a voice message from JJ. All it was was her saying she loved me, but it was right before the accident. She promised, she almost followed through, and then she didn't. And now she's in a coma and I don't know what's gonna happen."

Penelope placed her hand on Will's shoulder. "If it helps… she was further away from the bomb. Luke went in first and shouted at her to run before he started running himself. She was already almost completely up the stairs when the bomb went off. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Thank you. How is Luke, anyway?"

Penelope fought hard against the tears. What right did she have to break down at the mention of someone who–by her own hand–was no more than a very good friend, when Will was here worried about his wife? "He's… stable. But not great. Just like JJ, we won't know until he wakes up." 

"And how are you?"

Penelope didn't even have time to understand the implication behind the question before she blurted out, "I'm paralyzed." 

Despite the current situation, Will found himself smirking. "So you're as worried for him as I am for JJ. Interesting." 

Penelope's eyes went wide. "Wha– what do you mean by that?"

Will laughed. "You think JJ hasn't been complaining about you two to me for the past seven years? Apparently, it's somehow gotten worse since you left the team. According to her, if she didn't know better she'd assume you two were a couple based on the way he talked about you and how often he did it." 

Penelope also found herself laughing. "She really said that?" 

"Oh yeah, apparently he refused to learn the new techs' names. He was all 'remote Garcias' this and 'not-Penelopes' that. Talking about that time he cat-sit Sergio and found out he was allergic."

"Yeah, and he still offers to cat-sit for me. He just says he needs to get an allergy prescription."

"And you think it's a surprise people could think you're together. You know he has a thing for you, right? Everyone knows it, has known it for years." 

Penelope felt herself blush. "Yeah… yeah, I know. Tara more or less told me before I came here." 

"You feel the same way like JJ thinks you do?" 

For the first time in years, Penelope let herself admit it. "Yeah. I do." 

"Then what the hell are you doing here? I'll watch over JJ, okay? That's my job. Yours is to be there when he wakes up. You're gonna be the only person he wants to see."

"Are you sure?" Penelope asked. "I can stay for a bit, keep you company, I don't mind."

Will smiled kindly at her. "Go. I've been here before. I know the drill."

Penelope leaned over and hugged Will before getting up and going back to Luke’s room.

“Hey, you’re back sooner than I thought you’d be,” Tara told her.

“Yeah… Will more or less told me that I need to be here when he wakes up.”

“I’m inclined to agree with him.”

“Will you wait with me?” Penelope asked her. “I don’t want to wait alone anymore.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Penelope sat right beside Luke’s bed, and Tara sat just behind her, against the wall. And they waited.

*** 

It was three days later, in the middle of the night when Luke finally woke up. Penelope’s head was resting on his bed near his leg, her hair sprawled in every direction. He began to lightly stroke his fingers through it, not wanting to wake her. Tara, who hadn’t really been sleeping, noticed the motion instantly.

“Hey,” she whispered. “You’re awake.”

Luke nodded at Penelope. “How much sleep has she been getting?”

Tara chuckled to herself. Of course that would be his first question. Not, how long have I been out, not, how’s JJ, all he cared about in that moment was Penelope. “Not much,” Tara said. “She’s been here five days. I’ve been here three.”

Luke smiled at his best friend. “Thank you. How’s JJ?”

“She woke up two days ago. I had to convince Penelope to go visit her for even half an hour. She didn’t want to leave your side.”

Hope surged in Luke’s chest as he gazed at the sleeping woman next to him. Maybe telling her wouldn’t go poorly for him. He’d already decided to do it, he had come too close to death and didn’t want to die with her not knowing, but he’d been scared it would cost him one of his dearest friends. But maybe, just maybe, they would finally be able to move on from just friends. 

“I’m gonna go,” Tara said. “Something tells me you two are going to want to talk in private when she wakes up. “

“Thanks.” Just as she was almost at the door, Luke called out to her again. “Tara?”

She turned around. “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to make sure you know… you’re my best friend, and I love you. You’re like a sister to me.”

Tara was nearly in tears as she quickly crossed the room to give Luke an awkward hospital-bed hug. “Love you too, Luke. And I better not be the only person you say that to tonight.” She winked at him conspiratorially, and he rolled his eyes in response. 

“You won’t be. I swear.”

“Good. It’s only been seven years, it’s about damn time.” She walked over to the door but paused right before she left. “Oh, and once you’re all better, you owe me a detailed explanation as to why you never told me that you asked Garcia out.”

Luke groaned to himself, and Tara left. The sound of the door shutting woke Penelope up, who looked around, confused and in a sleepy daze.

“Wha— Luke?”

He smiled at her, so glad to hear her voice again. “Hey, you.”

“Oh my god, you’re awake!” She flung herself at him, hugging him tightly, before instantly backing away. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you hurt anywhere?”

“No, I’m fine, really.” He was only slightly lying. Everything hurt a little bit… but he just really wanted to be able to hold her. 

Penelope wrapped her hands around his and looked down at them. “Luke… when I thought you’d gotten blown up… I just wanted to apologize for and take back every mean thing I ever said to you.”

“Hey,” Luke said, tugging on their conjoined hands so she’d look at him. “Don’t you dare. I knew you didn’t really mean it. I wouldn’t change anything about us, okay? Actually, no, that’s not true. I would change one thing, and that would be that we’d actually get past the first date. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but I,” he found himself near tears as he said this, overwhelmed by the weight of his emotions. “Penelope Garcia, I am in love with you. I have been for years. I never stopped, even when you said you just wanted to be friends.”

He would have been worried when she started crying too, but the large smile that was spread over her face told him that they were tears of joy. “Luke Alvez, I am in love with you too. I’m sorry I was too scared before… but I realize now that I can’t lose you. So… do you want to give this another try?”

“Yes,” he replied emphatically. “What, did you think I was just confessing my undying love for you only to not want a relationship?”

Penelope rolled her eyes and laughed, leaning away from him. “Shut up, you’re such a pain.”

“Wait, no, come back,” he said, pulling her toward him again. “So… does this mean I can finally kiss you?”

Penelope leaned even closer, their lips an inch apart. “Yes.”

He slid the hand not currently being held by both of hers to the back of her head and pulled her the final distance toward him, finally pressing his lips to hers after seven years of pining, dancing around each other, and near misses. It was the best feeling in the world. 

When they finally pulled apart, Penelope leaned on the best against him, cradled under his arm. “Please don’t leave me,” she whispered.

“I won’t,” Luke promised with a kiss to her head. “How could I? You are everything I’ve ever wanted since the moment I met you, Penelope. I’m not going anywhere.”

[erumai-maadu]

imagine minato and even kushina being a mentor to tenten if both were alive. that would have been really cool not to mention tenten will even have more knowledge and further enhance her skills in fuinjutsu and space-time ninjutsu.

anon. anon are you in my WIP folder? anon no! get out of there it’s dangerous!

I literally have a WIP of kushina and minato being mentors to Tenten and her being an older sister to Naruto!! I think her being Kushina's student especially is so fucking cool and I would have LOVED to see their interactions in an AU because imagine all the cool fuinjutsu she could have learned?? Tenten-Hiraishin would be REAL and I would be happy.

Plus Kushina would absolutely adopt all of Naruto's friends, and it would take her one look at Team Gai before she declares they're all her kids, and yes that includes you too Gai, get in here.

also have the tiny snippet ive written:

Tenten’s ink brush moves across the scroll, her hands less steady than she would like. Her heart pounds in her throat and her hands quickly grow damp. At this point, she’s barely focusing on the seal in front of her, more occupied with the presence looming over her like a god passing judgment. “You’re not focusing, Tenten-chan,” comes the admonishment, gentler than she had expected. “I’m sorry, Uzumaki-san.” “Kushina-sensei is fine.” She grins down at Tenten, and for a moment, Tenten is struck by just how much Naruto takes after his mother. “Just make sure you keep focused. We can’t move on until you learn the basics of elemental sealing.” “Sorry, Kushina-sensei.” She ducks, feeling her ears burn. Picking up her brush once more, she tries to concentrate on the seal in front of her and fails miserably, hyper-aware of Kushina’s intense gaze. “Relax, Tenten-chan.” Kushina sits in the chair next to Tenten’s and tilts her head to look at her scroll, blazing red hair identical to Naruto’s falling over her shoulder. “We’re not all that intimidating, are we?” “N-no,” she lies. Kushina’s bright laughter brings the Hokage into the living room, a warm smile on his face. “Ah, Tenten-chan, how’s that seal going?” His eyebrows knit. “I wonder if we started you off with something too complex.” Tenten feels her heart skip a beat and fights the urge to leap out of her chair. “No, no! I can handle it, I promise!” She gestures at her scroll. “I’m nearly done, I just need to finish the stabilizing ring and it’ll be set to test!” “Don’t worry about her, Minato, I’ve been watching her the entire time.” She shares a look with her husband. “She’s got a real knack for fuinjutsu." "I suspected as much when Naruto told me about a girl who fought with scrolls of storage seals." He takes a seat at the table next to his wife. "I remember seeing reports of you fight at the chunin exams. I couldn't believe that you were self-taught, with those complex seals. It's been a while since we've seen anyone in Konoha with this much potential for fuinjutsu." Kushina nods. "With the right training you could become like the old masters of Uzushiogakure." Tenten's brush clatters to the table as Kushina leans forward and clasps Tenten's hands in hers. "We're excited to teach you, Tenten-chan!"

[farcillesbian]

im so. god I had such a yuri night I have so much to tell you all yuri nation:

- went to the skate park and we ended up hanging out for 5 whole hours

- I got comfier with skateboarding!! woohoo!!

- we were listening to music and then she was like omg I'm gonna get my guitar from my car, is it ok if I play a couple of my songs. so she fucking played and sang two of her original songs to me and it was such a privilege to get to hear it. and she's so talented. and in fact she asked to record herself on my phone so I could play it back on the speaker and she could play along to the recording and so now I have a recording of her singing and playing guitar saved on my phone and the clip ends with her giggling and I am so fucking gay about it I definitely fell a little bit in love in that moment

- I decided to try skating down a ramp and she had offered to help me by letting me hold onto her. so I HELD BOTH OF HER HANDS WHILE I WENT DOWN AND SHE RAN WITH ME TIL I STOPPED. this happened twice btw.

- we went and had a bite to eat at the tim Hortons across the street. and we were def stoned lol and just chatting and eating and I swear at one point while I was talking I caught her looking at me. but also she was excitedly telling her about this sports bra she got that was comfy and made her feel so cute and happy about it AND SHE SHOWED ME A PIC OF HER WEARING IT. like it *was* just a sports bra but I was so gay in that moment it was like. uhm. yes that's wonderful Sidney. 😳 she has no idea how that was for me lol.

- then we spent time chilling in the grass watching the stars come out and listening quietly to music and it was so pleasant. our shoulders were touching at one point and I was like god I am so fucking gay.

- while doing that I had to run away for a sec to go pee across the street lol and when she came back she told me she'd been practicing her voice training a bit while I was gone and she actually like was trying out her higher voice around me and she told me that she rarely uses that around anyone because she's shy and nervous about it. but she shyly spoke to me like that 😭 it was really fucking sweet and I felt so privileged that she felt comfortable enough around me to do that. and her voice is genuinely sooooo beautiful (both her upper and lower registers) I love listening to her speak

- she also talked about how sometimes people who see her at the cafe will say she's pretty or people will say that someone saw her and called her pretty and she has trouble believing that they're being genuine and not just like. thinking they're Being Nice™ because they notice she's trans. and I was like well I mean i genuinely had this "who's that pretty girl and why does she know my name" moment when we ran into each other last week. and she then asked me if I was nervous when I went back up to say hi the next time I was in and I was like MAYBE A LITTLE... and she said she noticed my hands shaking 😭😭😭 but she also was really happy I said hi to her 😭😭😭😭

- after she had played her music for me she also talked about how it meant a lot that when I heard her play at the festival in the fall I told her it sounded very midwest emo to me. and that to connect on a music level like that is something really important and special to her. and I'm like SAME.

- she also told me she really likes how I'm always paying attention to positive art. like I'm always noticing little trans graffiti and stuff and showing it to her.

- when it got cold she lent me an extra hoodie from her car and told me yellow suited me 😭

basically like if she didn't have a gf I would probably think she's into me and tbh I still am kinda wondering that because she said she had questioned in the past whether she's polyam and decided that she's probably not but I can't help but wonder. idk this could mean anything and either way this is such a beautiful deep friendship. it feels so real like we can both be fully ourselves with each other

[peachesandghosts]

1, 10 and 12 💖

1) Describe the first girl you ever had a crush on. okay, so. real life, I was a little second grader who had a crush on a senior in high school. I went to a Christian school that had like 5 students per class, kindergarten through high school. She was the principal's daughter and she was so nice and so pretty. I didn't realize it was a crush at the time, but looking back, I definitely do. Especially because I told her that I loved her once and then panicked because I didn't want to get in trouble for telling a girl I loved her, even though everyone else saw it as a normal like thing and I'm like what if they think I like her? But fictional, there's the Hex Girls from Scooby Doo and Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy IX.

10) Have you had any “gay panic” moments where you embarrassed yourself in front of a pretty girl? What happened? Yes. Oh, my god yes. See above from little baby me. But also, once, we went on a date to a museum and I knew she liked the moon (I do, too), but she was (and is) so pretty that I was being a headass and trying to seem like a badass, I guess, and we saw a diagram of the moon and my DUMB FUCKING ASS said, "Fuck the moon," and she has never let me live that one down.

12) Do you have crushes on any fictional women? Always. I'm still in love with the Hex Girls, of course. Anna Kendrick's character in A Simple Favor. Any Anna Kendrick character. I'm just very gay.

Thank you!

[majorbitchwillgraham]

On the other night's episode of "apparently I still get comp het for guys"...

Well, unfortunately it was a huuge comp het case that happened. Hadn't happened in such a long time.. I was kind of drunk and was very close to kissing that dude. I felt like I wanted to initiate it.

I've felt very lonely (and desperate lmao) this month maybe. And this dude seemed to *like me*. And this dude he kneww what he was doing, I think.

We were at a party and only talked a little but he kept looking at me a certain way. I thought he was a cool guy, that's how comp het happens, right? It's annoying. I thought his clothes were really cool and, he said he had wanted to major in philosophy, and asked me things when I said I had studied psychology, etc. As time passed I used my mbti freak powers and I could *smell* ENTP. He laughed very loudly and it was funny. I thought he was adorable.

Did I mention he was also a guitarist?? As someone who loves music so much to have been a guitarist myself, that was bad, really bad for me.

So back to me being desperate lol, I guess I was interested in being his friend but suddenly I felt kind of fascinated by him and how he kept looking at me and at one point the thought came to my mind: "I want to kiss the shit out of that little guy. I don't care if he is 10 years younger than me." He looked older.

I felt that I just wanted to use him for that moment, lmao this is very embarrasing. I thought wth is happening to me, and then remembered "finding guys is easier than finding gay girls AND I'm desperate. And drunk"

At one point they were talking in a group and I passed walking and he literally said he wanted me to hear. So I went there and then he said it: "I want to know what you think about this"

God fucking dammit. Did he know what he was doing? Because that is literally the best thing you can say to me, in the pick up line context or whatever. Now I really felt like kissing him.

I was really trying to be alone with him and initiate it myself, but it couldn't happen. I didn't think about what I would do next. I never thought about having sex, probably for obvious reasons. I just wanted to play the "seduction game" with a cool guy that looked at me like that. It is exciting when I think about it, but the trick with comp het is that it rarely feels good when you do it for real lol.

Then when he was saying good bye to everyone he was saying "nice to meet you" but with me he said "nice to meet you, psychologist" because god damn that is also the best thing you can say to me. Praise my fuckin major/title lmao because yes as an INTP it seems that's what I care about. Dude shut the fuck up...

So maybe he knew what he was doing. It's very funny because it is the direct contrary of what happened when I met my ESTP friend, he "made a joke" and told me "I should have majored in something else" and left me there marvelling at the audacity hahaha and planning how to murder him, and thinking "dude wth that is the worst insult you can say to me" lmao

That's what happened, comp het is annoying. I'm thinking I felt a "friend connection" with him, just as it happened with my 2 ex boyfriends. Why would I be desperate btw? I guess that's what happens when nobody has kissed you in -oh my god - almost 4 years. I remembered when Will kissed Chiyoh and, for the first time ever, I forgive him.

[adultswim2021]

Perfect Hair Forever #7: “Return to Balding Victory” | April 1, 2007 - 12:00AM | S02E01

Hey! Look! It’s a new episode of Perfect Hair Forever for me to watch! What? I am half-remembering this, and using wikipeida to fill in my blanks: I think they announced season 2 as a web-exclusive show back when they were trying to make web-exclusive seasons of The Brak Show, 12 Oz. Mouse, and this. It was announced to debut in May of 2007 online, and that it would have 16 episodes. It did not have 16 episodes. It had one episode. And, it actually aired first on Adult Swim on the evening of March 31st. It aired at midnight, technically April 1st. We in the states call that “The April Fool’s Big Day”, and it’s a day when various television networks must appease the April Fool’s regard for mischief by playing weird stuff instead of normal stuff on their channels.

This is a for-real continuation of the series, and in fact it incorporates many elements of “Woke Up Drunk”, the “variety show” episode that seemed very skippable until this moment. It starts off with the three burly guard guys in bed together. In “Woke Up Drunk” we saw them, fully clothed, all saying things out loud like “we are having hardcore penetrative gay sexual right now” while also pointing out that they can’t actually show it on television, so they just have to say it’s happening. They call this bit back, but this time they mention that it’s the internet and not TV.

Then there’s an opening sequence! Which… that’s one of the songs that’s already been featured on the show, right? I found a wiki that used weird wording that made me think it was technically a different song. Oh well. It uses weird clips of things, including Vince Collin’s great animated work 200. I love that guy’s stuff. I highly recommend you check out his seminal short Malice in Wonderland. Talk about ADULT ANIMATION, baby (there are vaginas in it)!

Okay: so the plot is meandering and unwieldy like it always is on highly-serialized Williams Street shows. Inappropriate Comedy Tree is trying to convince Gerald that he lost his memory in the crash (he didn’t). Tornado and he fight. Then a tidal wave shows up, flooding, more-or-less, every location in the show. He has a face not unlike the Tornado, and calls himself “Wetsy”, and we see Space Ghost running in the background to avoid getting wet. Gerald wonders out loud “I wonder what will happen next… on the internet.”

Uncle Grandfather sexually harasses Brenda by getting into a huge body-sized condom and insists that they have sex. She ignores him. He says something like “god told me to blow everything up”. An explosion is heard. 

Next there’s a very long establishing shot of the house that Coifio was trying to sell. He sells it to Rod, the Anime God. Wetsy floods it, and that’s just too bad for Rod. Rod then declares that he has to move into a different house; the house featured in “Woke Up Drunk” with the blonde housewife. There’s a nightmarish, reality-bending flourish. Perhaps something is amiss. 

Back at Uncle Grandfather’s house, Brenda is jacking up the house to get it mostly out of the water. Coifio is seen in a row boat. He gathers Cat Man, who is shooting Wetsy with a gun (he also manages to put one in Coifio (who takes it all in stride, luckily). Coifio wants Cat Man to help him get to Gerald.

We cut to a “commercial”, but it’s shown on a TV screen with Gerald advertising, basically, his quest, and inviting people to also partake in said quest. This has a really funny moment where Kim Manning gives a too-spirited delivery of the final line of the ad and chuckles “that doesn’t sound like Gerald at all”. This is being viewed by Rod, the Anime God, I think (I forget and forgot to write it down). When we cut back to Gerald, he has great, ever-changing hair, and is being followed by a school of tuna (the flood means Gerald is mostly submerged in water). He cheerfully announces “So glad we finally reached Tuna Mountain. And did all that stuff.” and then mentions that they are going to either Pancake or Hamburger Mountain now. They pass by the severed hand of the Anime hero guy clutching the Hamburger medallion from episodes past. The medallion is wrapped up in some tree branches and the hand is just hanging off of it.

Catching up with that guy (his name is Young Man, I just learned) and his animal friends: They are floating by on the top of their car, I think? They see a cat and a hot dog bun fighting on the back of an alligator. It appears the war between them is not actually over. “I wish this wasn’t symbolic of anything, and that this whole thing were just an anime mindfuck” Young Man says. He arrives at Uncle Grandfathers house. 

The last bit is a bit of weird channel surfing, where we see the Special Presentation/Anime Talk Show/Adult Swim Brain Trust set. Rod the Anime God is with his new family, featuring the blonde housewife and what appears to be an alternate version of Gerald. The living room resembles the Brak Show set, though it’s not as perfect of a match as I thought when I looked it up and I’m not sure it’s even an intentional reference. And that, folks, is the end of the series. For a little while, at least.

I’m fond of this show. It’s mostly meaningless nonsense, but it’s pleasing to watch. I wish there actually was a second season. But I like that they randomly revive it when we’re all least expecting it (to be fair, April Fool’s Day falling on Adult Swim’s anime night is a reasonable night to expect it, when you think about it). I don’t think I ever did watch the other episode of this that came out a few years later. Was it good? Did it end the series? Am I nice?

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Perfect Hair Forever Fansub April Fools stunt (April 1, 2007)

After the surprise episode 7, we were treated to more April Fools fun: A marathon of Perfect Hair Forever but in reverse episode order. The episodes were run through multiple generations of VHS dubbing and given amateurish-looking subtitles to simulate the tape-traded fan-subbed animes of yore, when hobbyists would localize anime that hadn’t found official release in North America yet. There were, in fact, turf wars over this sort of thing. The stunt involved poorly-translated subtitles that, in fact, at one point just start being subtitles for an Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode instead. Hilarious. You can find some of the fan-sub versions of the episodes online. It’s worth a look!

MAIL BAG

ill always love the cinco credit union sketch because the idea of a bank sending you a porno in the mail is too delightful for words!

I think I failed to highlight this part; there is indeed a callback to the Pizza Boy sketch in the Cinco Credit Union sketch where the kiosk announces to Eric that a copy of the film is being mailed to his home, where his wife will probably receive it and get pissed off. Season one in particular tried to be thematic and have sketches refer to each other. I feel like this element of the show was sorta faded out as the series went on.

I love the first part of the Lazy Horse mattress sketch and I think its a classic, but I agree that the follow up just veers into some Jhonen Vasquez territory.

That’s a good way of putting it. That guy... whew! I NEVER liked him. Actually, that’s not true. The first time somebody gave me one of his comics I read it and liked it. Truth be told, I decided not to like him after all my mean internet friends said it sucked. Is it good (his body of work I mean)

"wahh I don't like when david cross says ho-ho" Shut Up You Fucking Baby!

That’s not how I said it! I said it like a cool guy!

I love that Richard Dunn was already legendary by episode 7, enough that we all knew his name and were concerned that he actually died. RIP to a king

Nothing but respect for my president

I want to punch will forte in the face in front of his family for using digital animation. Fucking idiot.

Noooo! I heard he’s nice!

[ladykatie512]

TL;DR Hi, my name is Katie, and I’m a bisexual woman. I wrote a massive post for bisexual visibility (and also for coming out of the closet to some of you? Idk, I’m not very vocal about my sexuality).

A day before my sixteenth birthday in 2008, Arizona’s House of Representatives voted in favor of Proposition 102. The proposition was a constitutional amendment stating that legal marriage was defined as the union of one man and one woman. May 12th, 2008, was a Monday. I still vividly remember standing in the living room of my mom’s house in Pima County, waiting on her to drive me to high school while watching the local morning news report on the Proposition. From the news reporter, the channel cut to footage of two men in what I can only describe as pure and true anguish. They were locked in an embrace, both sobbing into each other’s shoulders as this cameraman just… filmed them. It was the first time I ever felt something empathetically as close to heartbreak as humanly possible. Honestly, I think about the couple a lot despite not remembering if their names were given or what they looked like.

My mother (as her almost sixteen-year-old daughter was having a silent mental breakdown) walked into the living room, took a brief look at the television, and said, “I don’t care what the queers do as long as they do it away from me.” Well, mom, your daughter is one of those queers. And, honestly, when I think about it, my family is either in denial or oblivious because I was gay as fuck when I was a kid. One of my favorite movies was Ridley Scott’s Legend, and from the moment I could operate a VCR, I watched that movie nearly every day because I was in love with Lili (I still am, if I’m being honest). It only grew from there; Megara from Hercules, Mercury from Blade, Rose from Titanic, Mokoto from Sailor Moon, Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame– I could list characters for ages, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I didn’t idolize these women; I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted to kiss them.

I had a best friend that felt the same way, and our elementary school brains figured, “Hey, since we wanna kiss all these girls, why don’t we kiss each other?” So we did. Her father was some god-fearing Christian (I can’t remember what type), and he flipped out when he found out his daughter, and I were kissing. He and my friend’s mom were divorced at the time, and she had full custody, so my friend didn’t have to move schools to stop seeing me. Instead, she simply told the two of us that we weren’t supposed to want to kiss girls and that it was wrong. Since we were girls ourselves, we were supposed to want to kiss boys. She probably had a chat with my mom about the “issue” as well, but if my mom ever talked to me about it, I’ve either lost the memory or locked it away in some deep, dark, anxiety-built vault in my brain.

The talk with my friend’s mom, at least for me, brought up the idea that everyone– every person on this planet– was making a choice about their sexuality. For me, finding guys attractive was the correct choice. If I saw another female character in a movie or TV show that I had a crush on, I wouldn’t mention it. If I met a cute girl irl, we would become best friends instead of girlfriends. I was only ever vocal about guys that I had crushes on. I didn’t have the mentality to challenge the “straight is correct” thought until my first real boyfriend in my first year of high school. I can’t exactly recall the conversation we had, but he had mentioned a female character in a movie that he thought was attractive. I, who confided absolutely everything in him (because, hey, first boyfriend feels), agreed with his views. He stopped, stared at me, and flat out asked me if I was a lesbian. In my attempt to explain that I was not a lesbian, and that I thought being gay was the wrong choice, he told me that sexual orientation was not a choice. I couldn’t wrap my thirteen-year-old brain around that notion and simply figured he was just better at suppressing feelings for the same gender than I was.

My second boyfriend wasn’t much better in regards to the fact. I was dating him when I saw the news report about Proposition 102. I told him how upset I was, and we talked about sexual orientation, where I admitted that I liked girls but knew that was the wrong choice. He tried to comfort me by saying I was not a lesbian because he and I were sexually active. He also told me that I can’t be bisexual because I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so I had nothing to worry about, and I was overreacting.

That was the first time I had ever heard the word bisexual. That was the first time I ever associated my sexual orientation with bisexuality. In that very same conversation, the idea was vehemently denied and shot down.

That boyfriend wasn’t the only one to tell me this, either. My third and fourth boyfriends told me the same thing. Mind you, from August 2006 to September 2015, these four guys were back to back, with maybe a few days to a week max in between. I had been exclusively dating guys for close to a decade, and I didn’t have a chance to breathe. I didn’t have an opportunity to find a girl who liked me enough to want to sleep with or date me.

I started dating my current boyfriend (whom I often call my partner now) in January 2016. We’ve been together for the past 7+ years. We had known each other for about a year. He had watched the decline of my previous relationship and the destructive breakup I had gone through. He had been through similar things and somehow managed to help me hold my life together. My boyfriend is seven years older than me and had heaps more maturity than I had at the time. This man is the first person I’ve dated that wholly accepted my “I think I’m bisexual” mentality.

He’s been slowly helping me come to terms with my bisexuality as I unravel the mess of feelings I’ve had for women since I was a child. It was a prolonged process, but as I’ve been with him, I have realized I am not straight and that I am not a lesbian masquerading as straight. I’ve realized that I am not confused, that sexuality is not a choice, and that I am a valid bisexual even though I have never had a girlfriend or had intercourse with a female. Simply because people assume I am straight does not mean I am. Because I am in a seven-year-long relationship with a man does not disqualify me at all from being a bisexual.

For the past two to three years, I’ve considered myself solidly a bisexual woman and part of the LGBTQ+ community. I no longer feel like I am pretending because I’ve only ever slept with guys.

So why did I write this? Why did I just rant about being bisexual if I didn’t really consider myself  “in the closet” for the past few years? I wrote this on the off chance that someone else is going through what I have. I wrote this on the off chance that this might help someone come to terms with their bisexuality (hopefully before their late twenties, but even better if it’s after). I wrote this because invisibility sucks, not being believed sucks, and pretending to be straight sucks. 

I see you, I hear you, and I love you