#also he looks so good in this ep brother...

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Unknown - Ep 11 - That Scene

The opening scene of episode 11 landed differently for me than it did for others. I was going to just keep it to myself since I have a minority opinion, but when I rewatched it last night I fell even more in love with it!

The structure!! It's so good! Let me explain.

At the bottom of the stairs, Qian hesitates. He still hasn't made up his mind.

Yuan says "Do you still not get it?" He knows what Qian is feeling, even if Qian hasn't figured it out yet. So he says what he wants very clearly.

Yuan asks for permission to do 4 things:

1. Be more than just Qian's brother.

2. Be who Qian relies on when he's down.

3. Be someone Qian can talk to about anything.

4. Be with Qian for the rest of his life.

Before Qian answers, he revisits 4 sets of memories, each set answering one of Yuan's questions with a resounding YES.

After each affirmative answer, it cuts back to the sex scene to communicate that THIS is the culmination of all those yesses.

In other words, there are 4 direct questions and 4 groups of memories that hold the answers to those questions, 4 times those memories scream the answer is YES, and 4 cuts to a bit of sex.

Let's look at the groups of memories.

1. He thinks back to Yuan's words in ep 9. Does he not want Yuan? Or does he not DARE to want Yuan? And he remembers all the times he felt desire for Yuan, but suppressed it. Can he be more than just Yuan's brother? Yes.

2. He thinks back to Yuan consistently being someone Qian can rely on, all through his childhood until now. "If the world falls down, we'll hold it up together." "You won't be alone." "I like being around you." Yuan genuinely likes being around Qian and has never wanted to leave him. He's shown his commitment to Qian time and time again. Can Qian rely on Yuan when he's down? Yes.

3. He remembers how long and hard Yuan suffered while enduring one-sided love, and that Yuan chose to suffer in quiet for years rather than confess to Qian about it. But Qian knew Yuan was suffering that whole time and hated it. It broke Qian's heart to see how hard it was for Yuan. If he did likewise and didn't talk about things, he'd also break the heart of the person who loves him because of his silence. Yuan laid himself bare and told Qian everything. Can Qian reciprocate and tell Yuan about everything in his life, even the hard things? Yes.

4. He thinks about how Yuan has ALREADY built his entire life around Qian. "I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian." Memories of Yuan come like a flood, rapidly gaining momentum. Yuan has already been with Qian for most of his life, and will NOT STOP. Qian can't imagine a life without Yuan. So can Yuan be with Qian for the rest of his life? Yes.

Qian nods and says his answer aloud: You can. And then they kiss.

The sex is not the point. It's the culmination. It's all the yesses stacked on top each other until they break the last of Qian's walls. By cutting the sex so it only exists between each resounding YES, they've made it less about the action of it and more about Qian realizing that YES, they're ALREADY in love and unalterably committed to each other. Why not give in to his physical desires when the rest is so clear?

Others watched this and saw a sex scene interrupted by cumbersome flashbacks. I watched this and saw a dramatic feelings realization interrupted by snippets of quite lovely sex that drove those feelings home.

A final note: It's probably because I'm demisexual, but I am frequently unmoved by sex scenes, especially when they do not advance the plot or the character development. This onscreen scene moved me. It hit the right emotional note. It was focused primarily on Qian's pov (his face is the one the camera is focusing on). And it was artfully done, instead of merely being titillating.

I'm tagging a few people who I recall talking about this in their posts, but it's been a couple of weeks so forgive me if I leave someone out or misremember. @absolutebl @lurkingshan @bengiyo @wen-kexing-apologist @wanderlust-in-my-soul @twig-tea

[lunacias]

these are the silt verses, and I name our disciples thus

[mimzaucracks]

Superquest doodles

I'm an ardent the-other-three-1987-turtles-would-just-laugh-at-Raphael-and-his-misfortunes-in-the-episode truther, which resulted in possibly one of my most fun and favourite doodle dumps.

These drawings are specifically how I imagine the 1987 turtles would've/could've been in that episode.

[linusbenjamin]

Lost 3.19 | The Brig

[puppyeared]

child of divorce moment

[zorbs]

so i don’t have energy to make link click posts this week but my thoughts are in the tags. spoilers included

[telomeke]

THE SIGN – CULTURAL REFERENCES, MYTHOLOGY AND META

‌

This post comes on the heels of the one by @respectthepetty about mythology and meta of The Sign, linked here. 😍👍 If you've not read it yet, I recommend you do before watching any more of this series, because it will help things make more sense (especially if you're not familiar with some of the cultural references thrumming in the background).

Anyway, I'd previously done some research on the legend(s) of the Garuda and the Naga in Southeast Asia, and so I'm writing this post to share what I've found because it does have relevance to at least some of what we're seeing onscreen in The Sign, and elaborates on @respectthepetty's post.

‌

The Garuda and the Naga are mythical beings with origins in Indian mythology that have been transposed into cultures across Southeast Asia.

In Hinduism, Garuda is a single deity, depicted in either full-bird form or part-bird and part-human, and is the king of birds and also a divine sun-bird (with physical attributes similar to an eagle's). His elder brother, Aruna, is the chariot driver for Surya the sun-god, while Garuda himself is the mount of Vishnu.

In Buddhist mythology, the garudas (sometimes also spelt garulas) are a society and race of gigantic predatory birds, sometimes also depicted as part-human in form. The garudas are intelligent, social and blessed with might and magical powers.

Thailand may be predominantly Buddhist, but it has also been strongly influenced by ancient Indian culture and Hinduism, and thus both the concept of a single deity Garuda and the race of garudas co-exist in Thai mythological beliefs.

The nagas on the other hand, are snake-like or dragon-like creatures, whose realm is the water world. (The word naga is derived from Sanskrit and is also etymologically related to the English word snake.)

In mythology nagas and garudas are perpetual enemies, although neither side is actually identified with good or evil – they are simply two groups eternally at war with each other (so occidental-leaning minds should dispel any preconception that the water serpents are necessarily the bad guys in The Sign, even though the narrative seems to be tilting in that direction).

When borrowed into popular culture (as has been done for The Sign) you may sometimes see influences of Chinese dragon and phoenix mythology (as Chinese cultural influence is also present in Thailand, and the dragon/phoenix motif of Sinitic culture nicely parallels the naga/garuda conflict pairing). And because of Garuda's association with the sun in Hinduism, and a parallel with the fiery phoenix of Western mythology, you may sometimes see garudas portrayed as aligned with the sun and/or flame as well.

There are some hints of these in The Sign. The naga that Phaya encounters while struggling underwater during the open sea training challenge in Ep.1 is very Thai in appearance (especially with the curved, forward-pointing crest, making it look much like the nagas that adorn Thai temple architecture). But the array of pronged, backward-pointing horns and trailing antennae appear to be a design nod at Chinese or Japanese dragons (East Asian dragons are also strongly identified with the watery realm, by the way). And in the graphics of the series (e.g., in the poster at the start of this post), the sky (the realm of Garuda) is suffused with sunlight and speckled with what look like drifting sparks, referencing sun and flame.

Because of the wings tattooed on his back and his time in the air force, Phaya is most likely the reincarnation of a garuda in human form (and this is why he struggled with the water challenge, as he was completely out of his element).

This is also possibly why we see him smoking early on in the series (because of the alignment of Garuda with the element of fire), and significantly he does this while Naga Tharn (irked by Yai's teasing at the dining table) seeks refuge in the washroom (which is ห้องน้ำ/hong naam in Thai, literally water room):

‌Billy also describes Phaya's character in the promo video for the series (linked here) as being "like fire, always hot and burning... quite hot-headed." 👍

Elsewhere in the same promo video (linked here), Tharn's good friend Chalothon is explicitly identified as the reincarnation of an important naga, which immediately signals that he and Phaya will be at odds in the series:

‌

The water deity that saves Phaya during the open sea challenge – Wansarat, whom he drew in his sketchbook – is not just Freen Sarocha in a fancy scuba suit. 😂

If you look at her arm and hand when she reaches out to save Phaya (before she turns into Tharn) the green scales meld into the skin of her human wrist – they're part of her natural covering, and she's really a nakhee/nagin/nagini, a female naga, appearing in human form to save Phaya.

The narrative has made it strongly obvious that Phaya is a reincarnated garuda, while Tharn is the reincarnation of Wansarat, from the lineage of the nagas. And the teaser-trailer (linked here) tells us that Phaya and Tharn/Wansarat are lovers bound to each other through time:

‌

However, the special promo video (released 24 November 2023) also tells us (in Heng's interview linked here) that Chalothon and Wansarat were lovers in past lives, even while it is Phaya and Wansarat (reincarnated as Tharn) who are paired by fate in The Sign.

And as the nagas and garudas are bitter enemies, the love story between Phaya and Tharn/Wansarat that transcends time and reincarnation cycles is also one that must have been (and will continue to be) forbidden by their respective naga and garuda tribes (especially since Tharn/Wansarat also used to be naga Chalothon's lover), and will undoubtedly be a source of conflict in the series. This is way beyond the Montagues and Capulets! 😍

‌

So with this as the base, I took a look at the characters' names, and those belonging to Phaya, Chalothon, Tharn and Wansarat especially also reflect their garuda/naga origins. 🤩

Phaya's name (พญา) means lord, king or leader. While it can be applied to the nagas (พญานาค/phaya naak refers to the King of the Nagas) it is also used for Garuda (the Thai national symbol) – พญาครุฑ/phaya khroot, or Lord Garuda (and is what his name references in The Sign).

(above) Billy Patchanon as Phaya

‌

Chalothon's name (ชโลทร) is rare, but it is derived from Pali/Sanskrit and means river, sea or body of water, reflecting the watery homeland of his naga persona.

(above) Heng Asavarid as Chalothon

‌

Tharn's name (ธาร) also has a connection to his water-dwelling naga roots. Tharn/ธาร is short for ลำธาร/lam thaan and means stream, brook or creek (and he is thus a naga nong to Chalothon's phi).

(above) Babe Tanatat as Tharn/Wansa

However, Tharn is his chue len. His formal name is Wansa, and is the same Wansa in Wansarat (which the narrative lets us know at Ep.1 [3‌/4] 9.35).

(above) Freen Sarocha as Wansarat

Now Wansarat is spelt วรรณษารัตน์ in the subtitles (at Ep.1 [3‌/4] 9.02), and I can't find any translation of it that makes sense in the context of The Sign's world-building.

But Wansarat's name is spelt differently elsewhere on the Internet (on Thai drama websites, and movie databases, etc. like thaimovie.org), and I assume they've all based it on official releases from Idol Factory because the spelling is consistent across these other sources – it's วรรษารัตน์ there.

And Wansa/Wansarat spelt this way also reflects the nagas' dominion over water, because วรรษา/wansa (an archaic word, referenced in an older dictionary but not newer ones) means rain or rainy season (from the Sanskrit varsha) – in Thailand the nagas are also associated with rain control, and prayers are offered to them for timely and abundant rainfall when it is needed. (The -rat part of Wansarat is a feminine ending meaning jewel or gemstone, and may echo with meaning for speakers of Indian and Sri Lankan languages, since it's derived from the Pali/Sanskrit ratna).

‌

Just out of interest (because nobody asked 😂) some of these naga/garuda elements were also present in the early episodes of KinnPorsche – the den of the Theerapanyakuls (nagas, wealthy beings of the underworld) was full of watery elements (e.g., the waterfall, the various pools, and Tankhun's carp – which in Chinese belief are the original, natal form of dragons). The -nak in Kinn's formal first name Anakin (which is not a traditional Thai name) is also a nod at the word naga. Porsche had the tattoo of a fiery phoenix on his back, and was out of his element whenever water was concerned (e.g., his failed pool challenge, the mermaid costume punishment, his misadventure with the sprinkler when he tried to smoke in the store room – water vanquishing the flame). Kinn was unable to make fire when they were trapped in the forest, despite claiming to be friends with the flame, while Porsche could immediately do it.

But I didn't see the KinnPorsche narrative taking the naga/garuda themes much further than these random nods in the earlier episodes. Maybe it did (like Kinn and Porsche could be seen acclimatizing to each other's realms more), but I just couldn't be bothered to look at the show more closely since it didn't really stand up to deeper scrutiny, and after the first few episodes I just went along for the exhilaration of the ride instead. 👍

‌

Anyway, I'm totally bedazzled by the level of world-building going on in The Sign and look forward to more from the series. If the first episode is anything to go by, I think Executive Producer Saint Suppapong may be on to something! 😍

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

rise raph also has autism swag: a post

so basically heres a quick little cap collection just of some of raph not getting social cues or reading tones etc

01. minotaur maze, calls leo out on being up to something only because of the use of the word “indubitably” (bonus: so into behavior pattern/routine that even though leo admits outright that he lied to get them to do the maze, raph just continues having half an argument like leo denied it)

02. mrs cuddles, raph is fully wholly completely unaware of the suspicious pre-prank energy his brothers and april are giving with their faces, actions, and tones of voice. like he fully 100% does not suspect a thing

03. stuck on you, raph does not pick up on the fact that his brothers are CLEARLY only saying that the teamwork ball they complained about all episode ~really did make them a better team and they wanna get back together~ to make him feel better bc he was sad it got wrecked

04. shadow of evil, does not pick up on or suspect ANYTHING about the weird-ass energy of the mutually-lying-and-hiding-something exchange they had with splinter. look at him. he is in the middle of being like “we nailed it i can’t believe he fell for that”. i love him.

05. mutant menace, raph is VERY ANGERY that people were unable to tell that the note they left with their ‘good deeds’ was using THE JUST-KIDDING QUOTES AND JUST-KIDDING WINKY FACE!!!! this whole ep could make a case for his autism swag, it’s so.... he is understanding many things in a way that makes a ton of sense to him that is largely not understood by others

06. the ancient art of ninja hide and seek, where raph spends almost the entire mission taking “stick to the shadows” as literally and face-value as turtle-ly possible and thinks he is absolutely nailing it.

07. snow day, (or lbr any other time he interacts w ghost bear) just. so so so excited about his favorite wrestler... very much having that override the fact that ghost bear is clearly not about this

08. raph’s ridealong, goes through the entire process of getting mistaken for a criminal, freaking out a whole police station, getting apprehended and thrown into the back of the wagon, without clocking any of that energy (bc he is so excited to do a cool activity related to his extreme interest in crimefighting/justice)

and like thats just the stuff i found idly browsing through caps i bet theres a ton of other examples on the social front alone, let alone stuff like stims, special interests, behavior patterns, etc.  

BONUS: 

late fee, iconic autism to autism communication

[matan4il]

Buddie 610 meta

Holy shit, this ep.

Okay, what shall we start with? Maybe with what 911 itself starts, lots of foreshadowing. At the beach call, we have Eddie looking at Buck and replying to him (about the lightning), “I really hope it doesn’t strike twice, though.” Which, of course we know it will. But the foreshadowing continues, as Buck talks to Omar about unexpected things in life coming out of nowhere. That suggests we need to pay extra attention to other elements in this ep that might act as foreshadowing for later events along 6b. ~~

That kind of connects to me with Buck being closely tied to Ely, the pregnant lady (he saves the day there twice, first by realizing the oil is dripping and if they use the saw, it might prove fatal, then by helping Bobby with the baby). First off, it made me chuckle when we learned that, despite being driven to the hospital by a man, he’s actually not her partner. 911 made sure we knew Ely has a wife, and that she has another kid with her. Is it a coincidence when Buck, who practically has a husband and a kid with him already, is the main firefighter taking care of her? Maybe, but it still amused me. What really made me take note is when he told her not to push, trying to stall her childbirth, and she replied that it doesn’t depend on her. That made me wonder if perhaps this is also in a way foreshadowing what we might end up seeing with the sperm donation storyline. I’m not sure, I can’t be, but I was not surprised to see that storyline brought up later in the ep. ~~

In general, this ep’s title, “In a Flash,” might seem to refer to the lightning storm the team experiences, but the real tempest is the havoc our families can wreak on us, tied to the unexpected nature change can sometimes take on. Chim’s dad suddenly shows up, raining on his parade. Albert suddenly thinks Chim should give their dad a chance to be Jee Yun’s grandpa, but decides against giving his brother a warning. The Buckley parents are suddenly making an effort, yet leaving everyone suspicious and unnerved. Albert suddenly leaks Buck’s sperm donation to everyone and unleashes hell between the in-laws. Denny’s changes, probably influenced by getting in touch with his dad, come as a surprise to Hen. And of course, at the climax of the ep, Bobby as the unofficial adoptive father of Buck might lose his son in a flash. The whole ep is filled with these parallels of abrupt familial disquiet, especially in relation to dads, on all 118 fronts. And as Buck deals with maybe the biggest of these questions, because he doesn’t even yet know what he wants for himself and how does the life he helped create (but only as a donor) fit into that, it’s no wonder his life ends up hanging literally in the balance. ~~

One of the most painful things in this ep for me was seeing how much Buck’s parents are willing to accept him as a donor, because not for a second do they think he can be a father. That would be the natural conclusion from him looking at a sonogram on his phone, but his parents find it easier to believe their daughter is pregnant again than to think Buck would be a dad (ironic, because he already is one. Just not to the baby in the sonogram). It reminded me of how Eddie’s parents also didn’t believe in his ability to be a dad, and actively petitioned to have Chris taken from him to be raised by them in 315. It amazes me every time anew just how much Buddie are compatible, because their stories parallel so much that they can understand each other in ways most other people can’t. ~~

And it gets to me that this whole episode also insists on reminding us how good Buck is with kids, first with the ones on the beach, calming them down and answering their questions to help them make sense of the whole ordeal. Then with Ely’s baby, a callback to how we saw him with the pipe baby in 101. It connects to him looking at the baby sonogram, all excited, once again acting so much like an expectant dad would (parallel to him and the firefighter onesie in 609), when we know he’s not actually going to be that baby’s father. It very much does feel like 911 is signaling to us Buck has some realizations coming his way in this context. ~~

Speaking of the kids on the beach, Buck telling the boy he wants to fix everything, then adding that Buck gets it, had me screaming into my fists, because hey, remember who said that to Buck? That’s right, his Eddie, back in 504. A reminder of how much Eddie sees Buck, accepts him and allows him to be himself, enabling Buck in turn to reflect that back to that kid. Of course, in the context of the sperm donation, Buck’s tendency made him want to help “fix” things for Connor and Kameron, and we might learn in 6b that Buck comes to realize he sometimes lets this tendency take him to places that aren’t actually good for him, without fully considering the consequences, and then hopefully, he’ll get to find a way to balance this, to be himself, but not derailed from his life goals by this part of himself. ~~

At the same time that the ep shows us how good Buck is with kids, it also serves to remind us of the one kid that we’ve seen him co-parent all along, the one who has always demonstrated what a good, loving dad Buck is, Christopher. Yes, when we see Buck working on his cooking with Bobby, it’s a part of the many parallels revolving around dads in this ep, so Buck and Bobby’s r/s is the immediate focus, but at the same time, we know who Buck is learning this FOR. Lazania kitchen scene from 601, anyone? Oh, but the best part? It’s when Buck tells Bobby, “Something’s missing.” He can’t quite put the finger on what, but he knows something in his domesticity isn’t fully there. I wonder what, Buck... And this is again in an ep full of foreshadowing! ~~

It may seem like a minor thing, but remember how in my past meta, I was more or less losing it over the many times Buck and Eddie did rope rescues together as their own team within the 118 team, even having their assigned roles where Eddie connects Buck to the line and then becomes an anchor himself to keep Buck safe, to the point where I wrote a smut fic involving this very meaningful act? Yeah, so imagine me seeing that the most intense Buddie call we’ve had since the end of 413 starts with them doing this subtextually intimate thing, Eddie hooking Buck up to the rope, becoming his literal life line, and even teasingly calling him “cowboy” while at it. No, I was not breathing for a full minute at least. ~~

But since I brought up the shooting in 413, can we talk about the insanity of the parallels? Take the meaningful staring once disaster strikes. Back in s4, it was mutual, right before Eddie collapsed. In 610, Buck is unconscious, so you wouldn’t think they could stare at each other at this moment, right? Plus, back in 413, it was just the two of them present at the scene out of the 118, the other members of the team weren’t there. The lightning strike seems a lot less intimate in comparison... But in this ep, the camera plays a role in recreating that same dynamic, singling out the connection between Buddie. Because when Buck is hit by lightning, we get shots of every 118 member looking up and being terrified of what just happened to their friend.

The only exception in terms of this shot? Eddie. He’s the only one that isn’t being filmed from the side as he looks up, he’s filmed from above as he looks straight into the camera. Essentially, the shot recreates Buck’s POV for Eddie, and for him alone. It shows us what Buck would see and how he would stare down, back at Eddie, if he only could. The fact that the camera has to do this instead of Buck himself further emphasizes the horror of Buck being unconscious, but the choice to do this only with Eddie highlights their connection and makes it clear that Buddie’s bond IS different to what the other team members have with Buck, no matter how close the others are to him or how much they love him. What’s insane is that DESPITE having all of the 118 there, there is still a bubble within this whole situation that is Buddie and Buddie’s alone, even as Buck himself is unconscious. It’s no wonder Eddie jumps up that electrocuted ladder without even thinking about it, it’s no wonder no one even tries to stop him or warn him of the danger in that. That is a man on a mission to save the other half of him, and the show tells us that in more than one way.

That’s gonna continue through Eddie’s attempts (and eventual success) in getting Buck away from immediate danger, as well as when the team tries but then fails to revive Buck, because Eddie will be the one to push past Bobby to see Buck, and Eddie will be the one Bobby has to keep in line by assigning him driving duty, maybe the most important thing anyone can do for Buck once all the medical assistance they can give him in the field is of no further use. ~~

One more thing regarding the comparison with the shooting arc in s4, as well as talking about camera shots, is that we get to see the difference between a platonic friend resuscitating his teammate and a man desperately trying to keep the love of his life alive. If you look at Chim doing compressions on Buck, he’s giving it his all, because he DOES love Buck, Chim’s doing his best for his friend and brother in law. But the shot is not an intimate one, we don’t get close ups, we don’t get to focus on the eyes and see the frantic look of a man who knows he CAN’T fail, we don’t see the intimate touch of a hand laying a gauze on an exposed chest and trying to keep this treasured body together, we do get “come on, Buck,” but we don’t get personal speech, begging the other man to hold on and just “stay with me.” While back in 414, in the ambulance, we had ALL of those as Buck, almost on the verge of losing his sanity, fought for Eddie’s life. ~~

Lastly, I’ve made in the past a gifset of times when we’ve seen Buck screaming Eddie’s name in horror at the face of danger (including in 413), and I love that we can finally add to that Eddie doing the same thing for Buck. But I think it’s particularly meaningful that it happened not as a matter of when Buck would be in danger, but rather it was a question of just how significant Buck had to become to Eddie for this former, highly decorated soldier to go from the stoic man he was in 218 to what we see in 610 (as seen in my latest weekly gifset). Because Eddie WAS incredibly worried back in the s2 finale. He was gritting his teeth, you can see the tension on his face, and the second it was safe, he sprang to Buck’s side. Eddie also held on to him while everyone else was lifting the truck (even though Chim, as a medic, would have been a more natural choice to hold on to Buck, while Eddie the firefighter helps lift engine 118). And Eddie wouldn’t even let go of Buck’s hand on the way to the truck. HE WAS DISTRAUGHT. But the man who kept his facade up in the hospital after Shannon, his wife and mother of his son, died just one ep earlier, did the same thing with Buck. What I find so telling is that he can no longer do that by 610. Buck has become such an integral part of his life, of his family, of who Eddie is as a person and how he deals with life, way more than even Shannon managed to be. And that’s why Eddie loses it, confirming what we’ve known for a while: Buddie are life partners. ~~

I now have direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Loads of love to @whosoldherout​​ for making unbelievable gifs for my very unique requests. You’re a star! Tag list will follow in the reblog. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on 1.5 hours of sleep to get this posted ASAP, so I really appreciate any and all encouragement to keep doing this. xoxox

[teencopandthesourwolf]

yeah so my brother was over tonight and after we'd had a heart-to-heart and a gossip i stuck TEEN WOLF on—which he is aware of and knows it's one of my shows, but has never actually watched himself—just for a bit of background bc it was there in my 'continue watching' as i'm never really not watching it lol.

ANYWAYS we continued chattering through it for a while (the majority of eps 1&2) but then he started sporadically paying it more and more attention, till he was eventually commenting and asking me questions etc.

here are some of the veritable golden nuggets he dropped:

“well, that coach fella's my new bestie.”

“the hammy lad with the face (jackson) is giving me such biff from back to the future vibes.”

“why is clark kent (he knows hoech from superman & lois) being an autistic male model with serious pmt?”

(still taking about hoec) “oh, bloody hell, he's actually really good looking, isn't he?!”

"the sfx in this are so fuckin bad they actually double back to being terrific.”

“so, are we, like, supposed to not give a shit about the main guy then, or what?”

(more scott talk) “although i do actually kind of want to hug him—but i feel that's somehow unrelated to his character.”

“pretending to do back flips off a roof is cool af i don't care what anybody says.”

(about k*te argent) “hoho, she's gonna turn out to be a massive cunt, isn't she?”

“this is fucking brilliant, they (the wolf transformations) look like were!fonzies!”

“jesus, we're like, 3 eps in and there's already what looks to be the beginnings of quite intricate character arcs? this show should honestly not be this intriguing, wtf.”

(commentary on the acting chops) “oh, wow, so the one that's playing scott is pretending to be scott... while the one playing stiles just IS stiles!”

(scene at the start of magic bullet where stiles is talking to scott about derek):

stiles: okay, sorry, no more talk about alphas or derek; especially derek—who still scares me.

my brother: yeah, that's because he quite clearly makes your willy hard, mate.

also my brother: OH, SHIT! THAT'S STEREK, RIGHT?! well, it's no fucking wonder that that's a thing.

AND HE HAS NOT EVEN MET PETER YET

so yeah my hope is now obviously that he'll go home and get obsessed and spank the entire 6 seasons in 4 days and become one of our most prolific fanfic writers.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - it was a pretty darn good time, frankly

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - Everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun in the fight sequences. I’m very happy for them. I’m not surprised they shot Khem and Chart. A little shocked it wasn’t also Yai, TBH.

I found this final episode rushed. According to rumors, The Sign was originally slated to be 14 eps, and it probably should’ve been. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. But we all knew it was getting too bloated for its britches, so I'm not surprised they fumbled the ending. For me personally, it just wasn't that bad. It was fine and I was fine with it.

Tho, Billy does not look good with facial fur, messes up those gorgeous angles.

I was ultimately amused that the solution to the mythology thread was simply to talk to the river god and persuaded him to give up... off screen. It felt very old school wuxia. Or like Aeschylus or something. I did adore the stinger, Saint was basically like “I want wings too”. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it. Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was. Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not. Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing. I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN and that gets a 9/10 from me.

I'm thinking of doing a full recap review (partly because I have so many great screen shots.)

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 10-11 of 12 - Since this series is following the yaoi so closely, I knew these were the separation eps. (Also I knew with would be a soft non-doom ep 11, Japan rarerly does these.) I like that they used it to show improve communication and development in all relationships, but, frankly, TayNew are just best when they are TayNew together on screen. So yeah. Let’s keep them back together, please?

Meanwhile, TayNew gifted us a gorgeous loving sweet sex scene. Thanks OG for doing us a solid. 

I wanna add, it sure is fun to see New play as soft and vulnerable character, I feel like he hasn’t done that since SOTUS. 

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 12fin - 1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT.. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLS. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's upset about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t. 

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - These two are so good at making heart eyes at each other. It’s ridiculous. They don’t need any cartoon images or noises. Moot crush but "I wanna flirt and court more" is so flipping awesome. I love this for them… and us. 

1000 Years Old ep 2 of 12 - It’s very silly and we have been gifted with the dorkiest vampire ever. But... the smell thing makes me so happy. And I like that the vamp uses chan/nai or tan = v old fashioned. Nahlak. I love our ghost girl. Did you notice she wasn’t in the room with them but they left an empty chair for her? Also nahlak.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - Kai was pretty much just “you're a workaholic but I basically married you whether you like it or not.” SMOOCH. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this dynamic.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - How is this show so cute? How do they both love and hurt each other so much. They are both just scared of loosing each other. Gah.

Unknown (Taiwan Sat Youku YouTube) 1 of 12 eps - Youku dropped the first ep to their YouTube channel but I doubt we can expect that to continue. Still, it was nice to be able to watch it in a convenient way. I enjoyed it. But I am cautious about it. Of course this is possibly two of my favorite tropes of all time (stepbrothers or a variation + hyung romance). So I’m looking forward to the romantic thread, but from the gritty style, it feels a lot more like a Taiwanese short. Which means it could go very dark and may not end happy. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I just don’t know if the main couple should be a couple. But when they finally get around to talking to each other, they sure are lovely. Also how great is it to see a uke initiate a kiss? Even if it’s not a very good kiss. 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - I am still not sure about this one. I am not contesting its quality, just saying it’s not for me. Also I’m not wild about what amounts to basically a redo of everything that already happened in the first episode from a different perspective. I know it’s a tall order with Japan, but I would like (when it’s a short series) for each new installment to actually move the plot (such as it is) along in someway. Am I asking too much?

It's done but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting but full of unlikable characters. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far. Ends next week TF.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Should I bother to go grey for it?

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand YT) - High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full time jobs but coming out is still a problem. You can watch this on YT but it has no Eng Subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

We're light on content right now, but frankly I'm so busy with work I don't really mind.

3/6 Born to be Y (Thai ????) 10 eps - 14 contestants who audition to compete in Born To Be Y, a program that searches for the best couple of the year to work together on a giant project. Described as semi-reality series. So I probably won't bother.

3/7 Deep Night (Thai iQiyi) 10 eps - Multiple romances set in a host clubs. Nice to see First back on my screen but this is not my favorite setting.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The eyes have it.

Your random BL moment brought to you by my ult-bias being a hyung smartass to his maknae.

(Last week)

[amygdalae]

watched the first ep of the fallout show. its not good but like i had a lot of fun being a hater and talking abt fallout lore n shit with my friend while watching it, so it has that in its favor. my biggest takeaways after the first episode are thus:

shamefully failed to suppress the urge to pog when they namedropped Grognak the barbarian like 15 seconds into the show. whole thing was peppered with references designed to invoke peoples fallout nostalgia. i wont lie it got me a few times

kyle maclachlan babygirl what are you doing here

needs to be so so much grimier

they wanted me to cream my jeans at the power armor sooo bad but they made it look kind of stupid. (and also not grimy enough). im so tired of the brotherhood of steel

i like the ghoul guy, I can live with him being too conventionally attractive i guess, but his voice is just straight up a normal guy's voice and that made me the angriest. he should at least sound like hes gargling marbles

the girl character's 'fiance' looked like if Jerma was a skarsgard brother

soundtrack was good (mostly just because it was just songs that were in the games already, but still). instrumental scoring was actually not too bad imo, seemed fitting enough

very very predictable plot beats

made me just wanna go play a fallout game tbh

I'm 100% going to keep watching it because im a disgusting bethesda shill who loves to shovel hot garbage into my mouth like a filthy hog (and because my friend's mom has an amazon subscription)

i am genuinely curious to see where it goes. goes without saying i resent the irony of a fallout series being made by amazon and dont think its something that needs to exist, but reviewing it as a show i think it has some potential to get interesting. gonna see how i feel after watching more

[finleycannotdraw]

can u recommend some bands? i think i like ur music taste and i am terrible at finding music

ty :)

of COURSE I can <3 you’ve probably heard of some of these, but maybe there’ll be some you haven’t! I don’t know what you already like, so… here we go :)

Hozier. Yeah this was always going to be first on the list I’m currently listening to basically nothing else! He’s an Irish folk/soul/blues/etc idk musician who uses a lot of religious and mythological themes in his lyrics and has a lot of songs that include social justice commentary.

The Amazing Devil is a folk rock band with an incredibly unique sound. Their songs are incredibly emotional and have an awesome fantasy vibe going on—plus there’s two singers, and they often sing independently from each other, which is something you don’t see often!

Good Morning Bedlam is a bluegrass band that I’ve gotten into recently! They’re sort of like… a mix of the amazing devil and the crane wives?

The Crane Wives, while we’re at it, and

The Oh Hellos. they’re fairly similar and I don’t have a ton to say about their stylistic differences, but they’re all definitely worth checking out!

Florence & The Machine. Most people have heard of them but I always like to recommend them anyway

Alec Benjamin, if you’re into softer indie music! He has a lot of different styles of lyrics, but his voice is consistent, so he’s great to listen to if you’re looking for that sort of variety.

Chxrlotte doesn’t have a lot of music out, but I’m a big fan of the music she has released, including the ones about Good Omens! The others are more angsty which I love too.

The Family Crest is an orchestral indie pop rock band, which blows my mind. I can’t believe orchestra isn’t a more utilized tool in popular lyrical music, because they do it so well.

Good Kid is actually my brother’s favorite band, and I love them too. They’re also indie rock, but they have a very distinctive style and are easy to get into! Plus they haven’t released a shit ton of songs like some other artists, so it isn’t overwhelming to explore their discography.

Jonatha Brooke is an artist I only know about because my mom liked her music a lot in the 90s, but she’s got a super nice voice and has some awesomely relatable lyrics. I especially recommend her album Ten Cent Wings!

Midlake is a super melodic folk rock band. I’m obsessed with their album The Courage of Others, which has a melancholy vibe that’s super easy to get lost in.

Palaye Royale is harder rock than anyone else on the list so far, but they’ve got an awesome style. Unique voice and definitely darker themes in their lyrics.

Tears for Fears is a pop rock band that I love because my dad does. (My parents are musicians—I trust their music taste).

Toad the Wet Sprocket got their name from Monty Python, but PLEASE go listen to the Architect of the Ruin EP. You will not regret it. Also the song Something’s Always Wrong is like… entrenched in my very being.

Elbow is a band that I never see in fandom circles, but they’re definitely not obscure. Check out their album Little Fictions! They’re kind of like Midlake.

Will Wood ranges from chaotic and fun (The Normal Album) to absolutely soul-crushing (in case I make it)! Sometimes even both at the same time!

(I would’ve also put Paramore, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, and other rock/pop punk bands I like on there, but I assumed you already know them.) (If you were looking for harder rock or metal, let me know, because this list is not that.)

If you want more genre-specific recs or even album/song recs, don’t hesitate to ask!! Music is the fuel of my soul.

[c7arisse]

also a theory about the season 2 of Link Click under the cut

did everyone saw the way the OP changed in the ep 7?? we get a face reveal for hood guy (and i'm sure it's the real Li Tianxi and the other "Li TIanxi" is Li Tianchen), yes i want to believe the guy took the place of his sister and i have a list in my head which explain why i'm right (i'm delusional)

hood guy is the one who gave the picture to Lu Guang and asked him to found their brother (so 100% sure it's Li Tianxi), and even though they have a design really similar to "Li Tianxi" from the present, they're clearly not the same (in the op we can see they don't have pigtails and honestly can we talk about the fact that "Li Tianxi" keeps the same haircut?? i'm sure Li Tianchen was like "okk if i want to look like my sister which haircut should i have? ofc pigtails with little winged hearts"

(some screenshots...)

also i saw someone (on tumblr) talks about how "Li Tianxi" has more "masculine" eyes and honestly on some frames it's really striking (and on other frames it's not at all, it's really strange bc sometimes, "Li Tianxi" suddenly has more "feminine" eyes

in conclusion, i think Li Tianchen is taking the place of his sister (idk why yet, i want to believe he works for the lawyer (can't remember his name sorry) bc this guy is involved in the death of Li Tianxi et Li Tianchen's parents (also idk why i'm convinced one of the two childrens killed one of their parents and their deaths "woke up" their powers (i say "their" but i think only Li Tianchen has powers)), i'm sure the lawyer and him want Cheng Xiaoshi to change the past to allow the lawyer's wife and Tianchen/Tianxi's mother to revive

so yeah i'm tired but i was like "i need to post it before the new episode comes out", good night and i hope everyone will watch Link Click / Shi Guang Dai Li Ren :D

(sorry for the typo i will never read this post again)

[f1oricide]

Yan Michelangelo hc

OK so-

I literally had a thought abt this and it was so jarring and crazy I had to write abt it. Keep in mind that writing is NOT my strong suit so bare with me okay. Also for the record I don’t condone any of this stuff Irl okay, there’s a diff between fantasy and reality.

TW: dark, possessive themes, gore, blood, cannibalism, mentions of worship, nonconsensual touching (not sexual), kidnapping, delulu Mikey <3

When you guys first meet, after the initial freak out you might have, he gets attached quick

It’s love at first sight <3

Could you blame him tho? He’s socially outcasted from society ofc not-

Anything you want? You got it! He will do anything to get that thing you barely mentioned wanting, no matter what

He would definitely try budding in every time your with anybody but him

Skateboarding with Leo? He happens to walk in with a skateboard. Having a tea party with Raph? You guys look like your running out of tea, but don’t fear! Your new butler is here!

Point is, he’s fine with sharing your time because like all good things, it’s even better when shared! He just has to be there too…you don’t mind right?

Won’t mind if you get a partner…

Just don’t expect to hear from them if they have the AUDACITY to make you so much as frown-

He doesn’t need to be your center of attention 24/7, he’s a secure turtle after all. He just wants to be near you, to keep you happy and safe!

Even if you can’t tell he’s there-

He is a VERY Delusional Yandere, you can be doing the most devious, horrendous war crimes and he’ll still think your a saint, everyone else is in the wrong for being in your way

Anyone who talks bad abt you, well… you can’t waste perfectly tenderized meat can you!

Real talk for a sec, I see a lot of people hc Mikey to be a heavy worshipper but I don’t think he’d think your a GOD, going down on his knees for you, but I think he’d see you as a angel and treat you as such

How? Lots and LOTS of cuddles (even if you don’t want to), positive affirmations, and overall codling

Cutie pie, angel, sweet potato, expect lots of cheesy nicknames

Now onto the juicy stuff-

Cooking, in his opinion, is a form of ART! Something to express himself with while also sharing that experience with his loved ones

Putting so much blood sweat and tears into perfecting his craft, creating a delectable meal for all

So imagine his (not so) sudden shock when he starts fantasizing abt you…eating him…literally…

HEAR ME OUT OKAY PLEASE-

In that one meat sweats ep, he was SO DOWN TO BE EATEN, because he sees Rupert in a higher light, he’s his idol!

He put his own blood sweat and tears for you, your his everything! This is his declaration of love for you and you alone, the one dish he won’t give to anybody else

At first he felt an immense satisfaction when you chowed down on the dishes he made specially for you, the sight made his chest swell!

But soon that feeling faded, something inside him started wanting more, until it eventually became Mikey’s every waking thought, pounding against his ribs until it’s satisfied again

So he did what any rational person would do! Invite you down for a taste test! Hah you thought I would say kidnapping didn’t you?

…

Well your right, he may or may not have laced those pastries you were taste testing

“Think of it as a forever slumber party! I knew you’d be just as excited as me, can’t hold in those happy tear too huh? :’)”

He really believes you want to stay as much as he wants you to stay, doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll always be his saint, wanting to stay by his side <3

You have a specially made “room” hidden in his room, that you stay in

Has all the necessities and everything, thanks dee

He often comes by to chat, make arts and crafts, and cuddle you, he’s barely out of his room even his brothers start to worry

Can’t have his brothers believe your…”funny” jokes now huh? They’d ruin the fun!

Starts to ever so slowly try to get you to agree with his… idea

Slowly starts incorporating more meat into the meals he makes you, mentioning how turtle is a delicacy in some places- you get the idea

But in Mikey fashion, he doesn’t like to wait to get what he wants

He suddenly starts asking you strange questions from, “did you know that cute hamsters cannibalize each other? CRAZY right!?” To “have you ever wanted to know what turtle taste like..?”

Eventually his patience thins and nervously asks the big question, but you’d understand right? Ofc you would! He shouldn’t be so nervous around you!

Ofc after hearing his request you start to understandably freak out, will he want to take a bite out of you too? Is this it? You don’t want to die like this!

Don’t worry! he could never ruin perfection, your a work of art!

(He’ll be happy breaking your skin with his teeth and lapping up the blood tho)

Surprisingly, he won’t FORCE you to do it, but be prepared for his mighty persistence and requests

He’s pretty much trying to hype you up

If you cave he is OVER THE MOON

He is inside you.. LITERALLY (idk how else to phrase it don’t be weird pls-)

Constant praise and affection is what you earn while you contemplate what you had just done

If you don’t cave, he’ll start to get a bit aggressive with his hype, and starts slowly giving you less and less food you until you do it-

Before he kidnapped you he was a bit clingy, but AFTER? Attached to your hip 24/7 baby

5/10 experience, you will be scarred for life leaving you with a bad taste in your mouth. But other than that expect lots and lots of cuddles and delicious not human food!

Sorry if it’s a bit all over the place, pls lmk if I made a spelling/grammar mistake. Writing this was actually very fun, I might do more in the future until I draw again. Maybe I’ll do both!Okay thx for reading tho bye :>

-f1oricide <3

[frankcastleonlyfans]

Dad!Daemon as a disciplinarian and head of household

Do you think he has a hands on or off approach to parenting and discipline/teaching? (From the last ep it was def hands off … actually neglect but idk what the writers were doing). And how do you think he works with his partner in teaching and raising their children? Does he run his family with his same aggressive-“my way or the Highway”-behavior he shows in his earlier years or has children made him do a 180?

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐄𝐍

pairing: dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. i hope you like it!

author's note: I'm in writing process of other dad!daemon requests stuff, but listen, your idea is AMAZING!!! And it fits really well in headcanon format. So here's what I think about Daemon's parenting.

gif by @daenerys-stormborn

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

During your first pregnancy, Daemon found himself in a crisis.

He had no idea how to be a father.

He was a ruthless warrior, for gods' sake! He never took care of children before.

He wasted time trying to remember some of his brother's actions when Rhaenyra was young, but that was no example for him.

Viserys is a king, so it was never expected of him to take care of his daughter, or even educate her. And he never did.

Daemon remembers his father really well. He was 20 when Baelon passed away, and that's the only example of parenting he had.

Daemon knew in his heart he had a great father, and that's what he wanted to be for his children.

You were a few moons away from giving birth, and your husband couldn't stop babbling about baby names, and picking a good dragon egg to place in the crib, and fantasizing about taking the child to meet Caraxes, and...

Honestly, you couldn't wait for the child to be born.

And when Rhaegon finally arrived into your life, Daemon became everything he said he would be.

He was terrified at first. The man had no idea how to hold a child, he only held swords in his entire life.

But eventually he figured it was easier than it looked like.

Years later, Daemon learned that taking care of a child and raising a child are two completely different things.

Rhaegon was three when you had your baby girl, Alyssa.

Daemon fell in love. And when her little hands touched his face for the first time, he felt loved.

The Rogue Prince couldn't be burned by fire, but time was the thing that made his heart ache.

Alyssa was growing up quickly, and Daemon felt the years passing by like a sharp valyrian blade cutting through his skin.

In the eyes of her father, Alyssa Targaryen was perfect. She had your beauty, your delicacy, but she also had his temper.

"But I told you not to play in the dragonpit!" Daemon scolded her while washing her dust stained platinum hair.

"Aegon said it would be fun!" Alyssa retorted.

"Dreamfyre is not to play with, she could have burned you. And, you shouldn't be with Aegon, I don't want you near him again. He's much older than you."

"But why is it a problem?" The little girl protested.

"Because I said so."

"But why?! Aegon is funny, and Rhaegon doesn't let me play with him and Luke and Jace. At least Aegon doesn't make me wanna smack his face like Rhaegon does." Alyssa murmured.

"Alyssa, don't say that! And certainly, do not hurt your brother. Listen, I'm gonna talk to him, okay? But you need to promise me that you'll never listen to Aegon again. Do not trust that kid, none of them."

Daemon couldn't bear the thought of his eight year old daughter hanging around the thirteen year old prince. He knew Aegon was some kind of pervert, and he did not wanted that boy near his little girl.

Daemon never lost his temper with his kids.

He feared that someday they would be scared of him.

But he knew how to lecture his children.

"Your sister told me you don't let her play with you and Rhaenyra's boys. Mind tell me why's that?"

"She's a girl! She could be playing with Helaena, why do I have to play with her?" Rhaegon rolled his eyes.

"Because she is your sis– Did you just roll your eyes at me?" Daemon stared at his son with a menacing gaze that immediately made the boy shake.

"N-no...?"

"I think you did. I think you rolled your eyes at me, Rhaegon." Daemon gave one step ahead, and his giant form towered the boy's body.

"I'm sorry, father. I'll ask Alyssa to play with Jace, Luke and me."

"You better, boy." Daemon said with a stern voice before leaving the room.

You tried not to interfere in Daemon's way of scolding the kids, but if you thought he was being too much, then you would say something.

Sometimes he would make the children eat alone in their chambers if they'd misbehave.

Sometimes he would make them do chores.

Sometimes he would just ground them in their rooms.

But he never, ever, raised his hand to touch one of his children.

Daemon had killed so many men in battle, but had never hurt a child in his whole life. He intended to stay that way.

Daemon Targaryen could be many terrible things, but he certainly was not a bad father.

He would rather die before hurting one of his children.

And when Maegon was born, he couldn't wait to go through the beginning of parenting all over again.