#also helping me spend reasonably is the fact that i live here and won't need a hotel lol

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

.

[bananonbinary]

Tumblr's debt is a problem of their own creation. The app is buggy, the userbase is flooded with porn bots, nazis roam free, hate speech roams free, trans women have sfw content marked mature, art and posts are stolen for promotion, features are forced down our throats, ads are malicious and often gross or triggering and giving them money will not stop this.

If we give tumblr money they're not going to get rid of Tumblr live or restore the nsfw or remove ads or whatever you think they're going to do, they're going to KEEP DOING THE SAME THING except with more money to blow. Tumblr is a CORPORATION, they can get a government bailout like any other corporate entity can, and while people are throwing money at a dumbass corporation there are people begging to get bills paid and for food and other necessities.

Please open your eyes to the reality of the situation, its not just some guy anymore, David Karp is long gone its a soulless conglomerate now and they do not need our pity

a lot of yall seem to think that i want to like, bake sale save the baseball team. that's not what this is about. i don't think we need to "fix tumblr's debt," i think we need to make the website profitable (and the debt shows it isnt, altho from what i can gather a better word is "deficit" rather than "debt," ie, they are losing that much more money than they take in annually), because as it stands tumblr has no reason whatsoever to want to keep the current user base around. it's trying to attract a different userbase, because yall are PROUD of the fact that tumblr is a failing website and you dont want to pay them. you're loitering inside a store and acting surprised when the store wants you gone. of COURSE they're constantly introducing new features and not listening to what the users want, they don't want you here.

it's not a protest, it's not an attempt to buy good will, it's a simple business transaction: i spend a lot of time here, and i would like to keep spending a lot of time here. so i will buy my shitty internet crab, and tell my fellow loiterers that they can as well if they want. if you dont want to do that, you literally don't have to, but you can't tell me not to.

you people are all like "ohh tumblr isnt your friend dont give it money" but like. yeah. its not my friend. i would like to pay it for a service it provides, instead of expecting it to continue to provide that service out of the goodness of its non-existant heart. i dont think im the one with the parasocial relationship here.

also:

dont tell me to help a poor people. i am a poor people. i am allowed to spend THREE DOLLARS on something i like for myself, and not give literally every single dollar i have to charity and mutual aid. you have NO IDEA how much or if i do for other people, and you won't, because you aren't owed every detail of my life like that. people are allowed to have things they want for no other reason than they want them sometimes.

[plus-i-miss-you]

Oh, one more if that's okay! Yandere Haruka, Mikoto, and Orekoto with their darling prisoner gn!reader please. 👀👀 They're my faves, so...😆

▷ listening to:

"you're just too good to be true" (gn!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılıㅤㅤ

♪ note: ahaha, sorry for starting with your second request! i just suddenly got too inspired :'D i'm working on your first request, i swear! hope you like this one! (i feel like it came out way too cute/fluffy, but maybe that's just me)

♪ summary: yandere!haruka, mikoto and orekoto/john becoming obsessed with you, a fellow prisoner, because you're way too good for them and you make their lives better every day. congratulations, these guys are okay with doing literally anything for you and now es has to worry about them possibly trying to murder someone.

♪ warnings: general yandere themes and behavior, themes of obsession, unhealthy relationship dynamics, there's also some repetition in mikoto's part and a warning for possible themes of derealization in his part too, just in case and also mikoto and john may be slightly ooc here.

haruka sakurai.

♪ i imagine it'd be very easy for haruka to become.. a little bit possessive over someone he likes. it's actually scary just how little you have to do to make him become obsessed with you. seriously, just be nice to him. give him a warm smile every time he looks at you, never forget to say hi to him, praise him for even the simplest and tiniest things, and that's it, the boy won't be able to get you out of his head. he just doesn't understand why you're so kind to him. he also noticed that even though you're nice to others as well, it feels like you kinda give him.. special treatment, maybe? like, your smile is especially wide whenever you see him and you compliment him more often than others.. there's gotta be a reason for it, right?

♪ his obsession with you isn't that noticeable at first. in fact, haruka starts acting in a way that's maybe a little.. cute, even? like, he shyly asks if it's okay for him to sit next to you and when you nod, you can see literal sparkles in his eyes. and when you say how good he is at something, he stares at you for a moment and when you ask him what's wrong, it takes him a bit to respond and he laughs quietly while a drop of sweat runs down his cheek and he says he's just not used to hearing things like that. and when you begin to walk away, he suddenly stops you and asks:

"u-um, y/n!.. d-did you.. you know, uh.. really mean it?" 

and you have no idea that you're only encouraging him to go even more insane while turning back to him, smiling and saying yes.

♪ haruka will try so hard to spend even more time with you from now on. whenever everyone is eating, he always sits right next to you, if you're going somewhere, he's already following you, if you're talking about something, he will eagerly nod and agree with you, no matter what you say. someone like you just can't be wrong. honestly, he doesn't even have to think about anything when he's with you. he can just rely on you, right? he knows he's not the brightest person, but you will take good care of him, right? i mean, it's not like you have a choice.

♪ oh, but it doesn't mean that it will just be haruka depending on you for everything! if you need anything from him, please feel free to tell him! he can't make any promises, but he really will try his best to help you! he knows he's slow, he knows he's dumb, but if it's for you, he will try so hard to learn to do all the things you can't do yourself. just please, praise him for all his hard work. it's not such a high price, right? pat his head, call him a good boy, smile at him and only at him, say that you will always be by his side and that you will never, ever, ever leave him. hm? n-no, he did not just call you his mother right now. but he hopes you know that he's more than okay with killing someone for you or even himself if you so desire. again, he's not that smart, but he's strong, so you can trust him, he will take care of it!

mikoto kayano.

♪ .. it would take a LONG time for mikoto to realize that he likes you. yes, he had a girlfriend before according to his interrogation. yes, he's still a little slow when it comes to these things. yes. h-he just has so much on his mind, okay? also, you're just really nice and he enjoys your company a lot! there's nothing more to that, really! and no, he doesn't know what you're talking about, his face is definitely not red! maybe he just has a fever or something, he should go back to his cell, he doesn't want you to catch it, haha.. it's really hard to leave for some reason though. why can't he just take his eyes off you already?..

♪ he would try really hard to distract himself from thinking about you. maybe he should just go and talk to someone else!.. but for some reason hanging out with others isn't so fun anymore. he just can't get rid of those annoying thoughts. what do you think of him? do you like him? do you like him as a friend or in a different way? do you like somebody else? you don't, right? you don't, right? you don't you don't you don't- 

"o-oh, sorry, y/n, i kinda spaced out a little, haha. hm? i looked.. angry? come on, don't say such scary things~"

.. but he will still listen a lot more attentively whenever mahiru talks about love around you and you reply to her. 

♪ getting enough sleep is also basically impossible because of you now. whenever he closes his eyes, all he can see is you smiling, waving your hand, looking at him, getting a little too close to him.. and he immediately opens his eyes right after that because his heart starts beating way too fast, so fast that mikoto starts thinking that this is the end for him. w-wait, no, no, he shouldn't blame you for this! it's his fault for liking you so much, haha.. wait, so he likes you, huh.. that's it, he finally admitted it. he likes you. a lot. he doesn't know what he should do about it though. well, maybe, after all of this is over, you two can get together?

♪ except his feelings for you are so overwhelming that it doesn't feel like a cute little crush. he can't even simply ask you what you think about him, he starts to shake and stutter and he needs to put on a smile as quickly as he can and assure you that there's nothing wrong with him and he is so sane and so normal. oh, you have to go somewhere? he will go with you! oh, you want to spend some time alone?.. o-okay then. no, no, he's not mad! of course, he respects your privacy and he completely understands if you want to be alone right now! he will just.. stand here, in case you want to talk to him. and when he has to go back to his cell, he still can't fall asleep and he just lies there, staring at the ceiling and wondering what he should do. you have to be his. he feels normal when you're around. he feels at peace. he feels like everything is okay and there's nothing to worry about. .. huh. was there something for him to worry about?.. wait, what was he thinking about again? haha, he should just go to sleep already. you will worry about him if he doesn't get enough sleep- ah. ah, he was thinking about you.

john kayano.

♪ john doesn't really care about his own feelings. his job is to protect mikoto and that's it. he doesn't have time for other things. and why should he, out of all people, be interested in romance?.. well, uh, that's what he thought. honestly, you're so weird. since the second trial started, he's been the one who's fronting and pretty much all prisoners have been avoiding him, even shidou and kazui, but he wasn't mad or anything. actually, it's better for mikoto's safety if everyone just leaves him alone. but you were an exception. you still were patient with him and you still were nice to him no matter what he said. even if he threatened you, even if he showed that he's more than capable of attacking you and he's totally okay with it, you still believed that he wasn't a bad person. eventually he just gave up and let you do whatever you wanted. as long as you're not dangerous for mikoto, you're okay.. probably.

♪ his trust issues are still bad and he analyzes your every move, but also for some reason your presence feels safer than the other prisoners'. you actually greet him every time you see him, you actually talk to him and you just.. see him as a person? he even tried to ask you about it simply out of curiosity and you gave him a confused look and replied with:

"well, it's true, that you can be a little.. you know, scary, but hey, you're not a monster or anything. just a person who needs a little bit more care and love and that's all, haha." 

.. god, you're weird. how can you just say things like that without a second thought?.. you actually remind him of mikoto a lot.

♪ actually, he's not sure if you still see him as mikoto or someone completely different. how much do you know about him and mikoto? how close were you to mikoto? did mikoto like you?.. well, john doesn't find you suspicious and he actually feels sort of calm when you're around, so that's probably a good sign. and it's also a sign to make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. if mikoto really did like you, he would be devastated if you got hurt. and, um.. john probably wouldn't like it either. he actually feels like you're too nice for this place. sure, he knows you're a murderer as well, but he doesn't really have a right to judge you. so don't be surprised if you start to notice or feel john's presence more often or see john getting visibly annoyed if anyone looks at you in a "wrong" way or says something even slightly mean about you, even as a joke.

♪ yes, he's fine with attacking someone if he gets a feeling that they may do something bad to you. even if that person just doesn't like you that much or they have done something that made you sad, even if it was an accident, it's enough for john to see them as a threat. just don't worry too much about it, okay? it's not like it's your fault or anything. and it's not that hard for john to do it. he's.. uh, used to protecting the people he cares about, so it's fine. and you don't have to worry about him "losing" or anything. he won't calm down until that person gets what they deserve. also, if the guard has anything against you, he won't hesitate to take care of them either. it's fine, you can trust him. just remember to thank him for saving you after he's done. 

[sophieinwonderland]

i hope you get genuine help. living like this believing that you're like some savior for the endogenic community cannot be healthy and receiving death threats and whatever else screws up your mentality and is probably just pushing you further into your savior complex. please genuinely go to therapy. i am saying this out of the best intentions for you your account is starting to look like a manic and delusional spiral without the short time in between posts due to mania.

i know i'm not gonna change your endogenic views but please. therapy for yourself. it can't have been healthy (assuming your plurality is real, i personally don't believe it but you do) to have been suppressed for that long therapy for that is needed too if this isn't an elaborate prank/hoax account

I wasn't "suppressed."

Do you think that when I realized I existed and was my own person, we didn't explore all the possibilities?

We read so much about DID and schizophrenia early on because we wanted to explore everything.

In the three years since, there have been no indicators of DID. No past trauma rearing its head, no secret trauma responses. No memories I've sealed away in the darkness of my mind.

I've looked into it. I bet I've read far more papers about dissociative disorders to understand them than you have.

I'm not someone who will just accept the first possibility I'm given. I wanted to UNDERSTAND what I was, and I put in the work to do so. That's how I know I don't have a dissociative disorder.

Also, I'm not interested in being a savior to the endogenic community.

I'm just interested in pushing progress forward as much as I can from where I am. And I realize that's actually pretty limited when I'm acting from Tumblr with only a couple thousand followers. Yes, that's a lot for a system blog on tumblr, but it's nothing next to what TikTokers are able to accumulate.

If I was going to be a savior, I would be brave enough to expand to a large platform instead of being paralyzed by fear of my voice being heard

I do my best to be as loud as I can, but I'm smart enough to know how limited my reach actually is here, even if I try my best to magnify it as much as possible.

I'm one person. (Me, specifically. The rest of my system doesn't actually care about syscourse and some have said I spend too much time on it. *glance at Abby*) I'm not able to change the world on my own. I want to light a spark in people that inspires them. But really, my goal from the beginning was hopefully inspiring people who could be better than I am and do the things that I know I can't.

Which... I guess is another reason I don't actually care about my reputation that much, and have even done things intentionally to put dynamite on the pedestal some people have placed me on. I never intended to be an actual leader of the endogenic community. And the fact that I'm terrible at working with other people means I make a pretty awful one.

I'm not here to be a savior. I'm a propagandist. (In a neutral way because not all propaganda is inherently bad.) I have a message that I think will make the world a better place for plurals and I do my best to spread that. Because that's all I can do. It's the specialized role that I think I'm good at.

And maybe with that, I can inspire other people who could be the actual saviors and community leaders we need to lead us into a plural future. But I know I won't be it.

[generalhumancloudalmond2]

Could you pretty pretty please write about yandere platonic hunting dogs 🥺, it would be very very nice.

Also have a super good day. Or else.

Hello! Thank you for your request, I hope you have a great day too.

I didn't include the fifth hunting dog, for the reason that it was, already, a bit difficult to write about four platonic yanderes at the same time.

Subway

Platonic!Yandere!Hunting dogs(4/5) x Child!Fem!Reader

You and your parents have been living in Yokohama for six months. The decision to move here was very difficult for your parents, but it was required from work. They also announced to you that this is only for

a year and you shouldn't get attached to a large number of friends, because after that you will return to your small town again. This news didn't upset you much, after all, you didn't even go to school during their business trip, and you were afraid to approach other unfamiliar children. Therefore, you quite reasonably thought that you wouldn't make friends in these year. However, suddenly you have a friend.

In fact, you were the initiator of your communication. You often saw a girl at the bookstore, so you decided to say hello and get to know her. And as a result, she herself began to greet you and you began to spend time together, periodically someone else from Teruko's entourage began to join you. You didn't care much about it for a long time, it seemed as if your friend knew each of them and wouldn't let you offend. However, you became a little worried when you saw their whole company together. Now it seemed to you that there were a lot of them, and all of them, with the exception of Teruko, were much older than you, but it was too late to go back.

Sitting in a cafe, you looked at them as if you saw them for the first time, although it was not so. Teruko stood up abruptly.

"The reason I called you is because Y/n isn't adapted to life in a big city."

Now you wanted to sink into the ground. She isn't serious, is she? However, that tense silence and attentive glances made you realize that it looks less and less like a joke.

"Yes, I noticed that too."

"Don't suck up, Jouno!"

You began to burn with shame very quickly and with each of their phrases only fell deeper under the table. But Fukuchi didn't allow you to completely hide, lifting you by the collar. He lifted you from under the table with laughter, after which he began to pat you on the head.

"It looks like a little more and she will die of shame from your conversations!"

"Something tells me that you'll turn her head faster than we can finish the conversation, Fukuchi."

"Come on, Jouno, it doesn't even hurt her!"

"I bet it's a painful shock."

"We got distracted from the main topic!"

It was Teruko again.

"Y/n, absolutely not adapted to the big city! And I think we need to help her!"

"Teruko, I don't think this is such a problem..."

You tried to object, but you were quickly interrupted.

"No, if you think about it, then a person who doesn't know how to use a meter probably also doesn't know about the true dangers of a big city: terrorists, robbers, rapists, mafia..."

The hand that was stroking your hair stopped abruptly and moved to your ears, tightly closing them.

"Jouno, how can you? She's still a little girl."

"Please don't squeeze her head like that, Fukuchi, otherwise she won't live to old age at all."

All this time, silently sitting, Tetcho decisively jumped up, dropping a chair at the same time.

"I will accompany her everywhere and ensure her safety."

"We will definitely talk about it, but without Y/n."

You didn't hear what they were talking about, but when in an instant the atmosphere turned from relaxed to oppressive, you became worried. After talking for some more time, your ears let go and you could hear again.

"Y/n, we have decided that today we will take you on the subway!"

"But isn't the subway in another area? I can't leave my neighborhood..."

"Come on, we're fast. Besides, Fukuchi can easily negotiate with your parents over the phone."

"But I don't have a phone, and my parents should be at work right now... Let's do it another time, okay?"

Jouno felt how nervous you were and with every second your heart started beating faster and faster. It was obvious that at this moment, you would try to run away. They all knew it. That's why you didn't even have time to really get up from the table when they sat you down again. However, your arm just above the elbow caught on a chair and was very sore right now. Everyone froze when you started crying.

The same second you were on Fukuchi's lap when he was trying to figure out what happened. Teruko was also trying to find out if everything was fine with you, now she was sitting on the floor and looking into your eyes, asking you questions. Tetcho was also fussing around you, although he didn't understand what he should do. And only Jouno sat motionless, listening to your breathing and heartbeat. In his pocket was a syringe with a very strong sleeping pill. Should he suggest to his colleagues to speed up the plan?

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Homestuck

Character: Jade Harley

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Description: Pwetty pls with a cherry on top for a Jade Harley Yandere headcanons? I haven't seen much-

- Eridan Anon

Sure! I'm worried I didn't get her character right so I might edit this with suggestions.

Yandere! Jade Harley Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Delusional yandere, Slight paranoia, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Jade is probably one of the more isolated humans of Homestuck except maybe Dirk and Jake.

She lives alone on her island and primarily uses Pesterchum to be social before the session.

She had Bec before entering the session and often gardened.

Other than that she was primarily very alone.

For this concept I'd imagine she talked to you through Pesterchum and you were another human who joined the session

Essentially you're with John, Rose, Dave, and Jade's group as a fifth.

Jade is naturally very caring towards those she sees as friends.

She'd often talk and share interests and topics with you and doesn't meet you in person until you're in the session.

Jade's first interactions with you include sharing knowledge and guiding you when it comes to the game.

It takes time but she'll eventually see you in person, something she is quite excited to do.

To be fair she's excited to meet all of her friends… but you the most!

Jade is always very excited and positive.

When around you she's eager to offer help as you try to survive your session.

Being clingy, protective, and manipulative are probably big parts of her yandere type from what I can recall with her.

She is another “she knows best” yandere due to her knowledge at times.

While she is very helpful and caring, she can get impatient with the emotions of herself or others at times.

Jade may not realize what she's doing is wrong at first.

She's clingy with you because she's been so alone.

That part seems reasonable to her… then there's the fact she's a bit jealous.

You're all friends here!

If that's the case… then why does she feel so upset when the others are with you?

Jade couldn't take you as hers before the session started as she's so far away and isolated.

In fact kidnapping may not even come up for this concept except for now.

That's because I feel she hits her peak when she hits Dog-Tier and you all survive The Scratch.

Y'know the point I'm talking about, when she and John travel the Yellow Yard on the ship.

You happen to be there too.

Which makes Jade able to spend even more time with you.

In terms of Jade's yandere intensity it's a bit hard for me to pinpoint.

Part of me wants to stay she can be docile.

She is overall cheery and rosy with you, she never wants to hurt you or punish you.

Jade just seems like she'd crave your attention due to being isolated for so long.

As Dog-Tier she's probably now even more close to you due to her new dog characteristics.

For example, loyalty and need for affection.

On the other hand I can say she's intense due to her skills.

She's fully capable of keeping you to herself with her powers and abilities.

Although hopefully won't have to force you to do anything!

She's a really sweet girl… you may feel comfortable enough with her as is.

If you are unhappy she does her best to remedy the situation.

Surely she'll find something to make you happy on the ship!

Also, since it's just you, her, and John for the most part on the ship her jealousy is greatly reduced.

Although you oddly catch her growling towards John for getting too friendly with you.

Asking Jade about this leads to her saying it's involuntary. 

Jade is probably half aware/oblivious to the extent of her obsession.

She always seems to have an excuse for her behavior.

She's overprotective because of the whole Lord English situation.

Everything she does is just to help you!

John may say she's clingy… but she just can't seem to see it.

Jade wouldn't want to hurt anyone.

That's why I feel plotted murder isn't something she thinks of.

She'll defend you, but aims not to kill for the most part.

Escape would be difficult with her, but why would you want to leave?

Jade wants to make you happy and give you everything she can.

She's dedicated to you wholeheartedly and hates it when you're sad.

Jade feels like, as her Dog-Tier, a yandere that would be nice to be around but holds extreme power against you.

She tries not to scare you away but is capable of keeping you with her.

Jade's obsessive nature may disturb you at times…

But she just means well, right?

[andreal831]

What do you think of Kol/Davina?

Y'all already know you aren't going to like this one.

But Kolvina is probably my least favorite of the Mikaelson canon ships. And yes some of that is due to the fact that Kol is my least favorite Mikaelson. But a lot of it is just based on how young Davina is and how young the show continues to remind us she is. Also, how little effort was put into this ship.

In season 1, Davina is 16 years old, only a year younger than Elena was in season 1 of TVD. Davina, I believe is the same age as Jeremy. However, with everything being aged up in TO (the characters, the love interests, the maturity/violence), Davina comes across as even younger. And this is done purposefully. Davina in season 1 is put into these white, babydoll dresses for most of the season, despite it being unnecessary as she's living in an attic. Her hair is typically very simple and her makeup minimal to give her a youthful look. The show is trying to remind us how young she truly is.

This is not only done with her clothes, makeup, hair, etc. But also with how the characters talk about her. I made an edit one time of how differently Rebekah treated Elena and her friends versus Davina. She treats Davina like a child, like a daughter, when Davina is only a year or two younger than the teenagers Rebekah and her siblings had just spent a couple of years harassing/killing. You also have Vincent, Cami, and Marcel treating her like a child (cause she is one) and worrying about the responsibility that has been put on her. Even her relationship with Josh keeps reminding us of how young and even naïve she is when she isn't aware of things he talks about because she's been so sheltered and is a literal teenager.

The show is reminding us how young and innocent she is so she appears much younger than the characters in the show we just watched (TVD). This is because we need to be angry at the ancestors and the witches for what they've done to her. But mostly because we need to separate it from Klaus sacrificing a 17 year old just a couple of seasons before. Elena was made to seem older so that we could set aside the fact that these 100+ year old men were not only sleeping with her, but continually putting her life in danger. But the opposite is true for Davina.

So then when, in season 2, Kol is brought back as a witch sent to charm Davina, she is still a child to the audience. Yes, she's gained more agency, but you can't just erase all of the footwork the show did to make her appear so much younger than everyone else. And yes, I know the argument that Kol was turned at 17 so they are basically the same age. But I've already discussed how that argument doesn't hold weight with me here.

I'll move on from the age thing though. Another one of my issues with the ship is the bait-and-switch Kol essentially does to Davina. Davina was the biggest Mikaelson-anti. Some of it I think was exaggerated to create conflict in season 1, but no matter what the reason was, she wanted them dead. Kol enters, lying to her about who he is and she is swept away by his charm. Kol spends the better part of a month manipulating a teenager who feels abandoned by everyone. Only to learn the truth and feel betrayed by him. He winds up winning her over because he wants her help to take down Klaus. Only to then betray her once again as soon as Klaus gives him any attention. Where is the Davina we know and love from season 1 who had Marcel, Elijah, and Klaus literally on their knees for lying and betraying her??

I've talked about Kol's development falling flat to me before, so I won't go into too much depth here. But Kol was the stereotypical younger brother. He pretends he is too good for his family, but as soon as Klaus gives Kol any type of attention, even negative, Kol is buddy-buddy with him again. The scene where Davina is watching Kol hug Klaus after Klaus nearly attacked her will always stand out to me. The look of betrayal in her face.

We never really see Kol work to gain Davina's trust or love. He just has it. It doesn't help that a lot of their relationship happens off screen, but what we do see just makes me sad for Davina. Also just the fact that Kol is Marcel's least favorite of the Mikaelsons since, you know, he actively tried to kill Marcel as a child, would make it even harder for Davina. She is constantly being pulled in different directions and at no point do we see Kol trying to make it easier on her. He doesn't work to rebuild his relationship with Marcel or the witches or even Josh. He just pops in and out (yes, I know it was partly due to them both dying constantly) of her life and her feelings are just expected to be there.

This idea that Davina sees Kol as "the best of the Mikaelsons" also just highlights how little she actually knows about him. At least with Cami and Klaus, Klaus has told Cami nearly every awful thing he's done. She is going in with eyes wide open. Even Elijah and Hayley, Hayley knows who he is and even goes into his mind and sees it first hand. Whether they would have ever gotten back together after that is up for debate (they would have, there's no debate), but again, she is making an informed decision. Davina sees Kol in isolated instances where their goals align. And when they don't Davina is just expected to put hers aside and go along with Kol, which the audience is okay with since it's supporting the fan fav family.

The version of Kol we get in season 4 and 5, the small glimpses we see, are don't have anything in common with the Kol we knew throughout TVDU. Like I said in my post about Kol's development, he essentially becomes whatever character the show wants him to be. There is zero reason given for his development other than him falling for Davina. I'm sorry, but men do not just change who they fundamentally are because they fall in love and that is a dangerous message to put out there.

To me Kol and Davina were a plot device to make Davina more hesitant to go after the Mikaelsons and to also cause conflict within the family. They have some cute moments, but I never truly believed their love for each other was anything more than infatuation.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted

<3

*Marcel when he finds out Kol is the witch Davina's been seeing*

[madarasgirl]

Madara Romance HC Ramble

While I sometimes read (and enjoy) a MUCH more intense version of Madara than I would write for my own work, I strongly believe he would NOT BE DEGRADING or abusive to his S/O. He's all about love. Accuse me of wearing rose-tinted glasses, but here's my take.

Madara is difficult to write since he's so complex. He isn't some static character who's always optimistic, gloomy, violent, or whatever. He changes with time, growing more cynical and bitter as he lived through his tragic life and came to conclusions about the truths of the world. I will try to consolidate what we know about him and extrapolate that into what romance with Madara might generally be like.

Respects the S/O

It’s really easy to make him out to be arrogant and demeaning, or controlling. He's allowed to be arrogant when he's stronger than 99.99% of the world. Go re-watch his fight vs the Shinobi Alliance or the 5 Kage if you don’t think he has grounds for arrogance. He is simultaneously the hardest on himself. He's extremely self-deprecating when reminiscing on his past failures and transgressions, both as a child and an adult in interactions with Hashirama. Part of him likely believes he doesn't deserve you or to be loved. Of course he would naturally cherish you when you finally become a part of his life. How could he constantly insult or degrade you?

He is 'controlling' in the sense that he likes knowing where you will be/your schedule. It helps him plan when he can spend time with you. It also better helps him keep you safe. Remember Madara is so strong because he wanted to protect what's important to him, but he didn’t even force his clan to follow him when they abandoned him. Madara wants people to CHOOSE him. He wouldn’t force you into things. He wouldn't beat or coerce you either, especially not when that was what was painfully done to him.

By the way, he'll remember those special dates better than you will.

Observant and Sensitive to S/O

During kid Madara’s 2nd meeting with Hashirama, he was able to tell Hashi was feeling down from behind before even talking. And then Mads repeatedly tried to get him to spill what was bothering him in an attempt to console a potential enemy shinobi! Deep down, Madara is a kind sweetheart. He'll be there for you when you need him and there in the background when you don't realize it. He will support you in your endeavors through thick and thin.

He absolutely teases you though, in good faith. Whatever he’s mocking you about is one of your quirks that endears you to him, not something he actually judges you negatively for. The same cheekiness from his younger days is still alive in him somewhere. Don’t worry, he won't roast you as hard as he can where he knows it hurts. Hmm unless you're in a bad fight and he's feeling REALLY petty, then I can maybe see him doing that. His words could cut more than his fists.

Almost a Different Person with His Loved Ones

This is another reason he’s hard to write. While there’s no doubt he can be terrifying (which was how almost everyone in the world saw him), he can be kind of silly with those he’s closer to. He is indifferent or aloof with strangers. He was likely at least civil with others he had to deal with in public and condescending and/or hostile with those who gave him a reason to be. This man’s presence is felt wherever he goes, so of course the average person would have reason to find him intimidating.

In fact, you might occasionally find Madara intimidating too when he's in one of his moods or contemplative. It's how he is, even when not trying to be hostile or domineering. He's still softer with his loved ones than anyone outside his small inner circle. It would break his heart if you were truly afraid of him.

On the other hand, he may be awkward at times. His inability to effectively express his strong emotions to you frustrates him. He wishes he had a better grasp at social interactions, in particular when it comes to you. This guy is just too intense and doesn't know how to chill. 

Cherishes the S/O

He doesn't have much preference when it comes to appearances (body type, skin, hair colour, etc). He wants someone who's easy enough on the eyes? But beyond that, looks are superficial to him. Some people think he is vain because of how he mocked Hashi and his bowl cut/fashion sense. But really? We all know Mads held Hashirama in higher regards than he did anyone else. Madara connects through more intangible traits like values, the mind, strength, and such. He’d enjoy whatever fell out of your clothes if he loves you and doesn’t understand stuff like body insecurities. His "type" would be someone who is family-oriented, placing their children and kin above other priorities, someone who likewise supports him and wants to build a life with him. And someone who can challenge him a little.

Madara is loyal. He values his bonds and was honest until the end. Once you're his, he's also yours. You'd be super precious to him, the light of his life kind of thing. Your presence in his life inspires him to be better than he is.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I see your neck post and I raise you:

Steve gets drunk one night, like, hammered, because he's missing Nancy and m! Reader (I'm so sorry for adding on to the male reader requests-) and Eddie are there with Robin. Reader has somewhat similar hair to Nancy so Steve is clinging to him so reader tells Robin to get his boyfriend Eddie.

Eddie is just 🧍 "bro what- no. Mine." Super possessive so he gets all bitey on the reader in front of Steve.

Maybe some smut? That's completely up to you.

Stay safe and take care of yourself! I hope you have a wonderful day or evening!

Request is referirng to this post--because NECK. And whoops this got so sad. I'm sorry! Let me know if this isn't what you had in mind.

Requests have resumed. You can submit yours here!

Currently writing for Eddie Munson. I write for a variety of reader inserts (male, female, gender neutral, readers of color too).

The more details you had to your request, the better it is for me. EX: “What about some fluff for Eddie after he’s had a long day?”

Feel free to look through my masterlist here!

Eddie Munson x Male Reader.

_________________________

You lift your head as the shrill of the phone echoes around you. Eddie gives your shoulder another tug--the TV holds a gorey red hue that paints the walls of the trailer. You laugh at Eddie's insistent hold. "What if it's the plant?" you question softly as the phone continues to ring.

It'd been a couple weeks since you and Eddie have been able to properly hang out. Your job had you working nights and you didn't get off until nearly 1 sometimes 2 in the morning. The timing always sort of fell apart for one reason or another. Until now. You had two days off--on a weekend no less-- and Eddie had asked you to spend the night.

It was easy to say yes to his request. Eddie had gone to Family Video to stock up on movies and you agreed to cover the snacks. So you understand why Eddie is pouting as he pushes up from the couch. He undoubtedly did not want anything to interrupt the evening, but at the mention that it could be about his uncle, Eddie pushes up and answers the phone.

You pause the film, watching Eddie nod into the receiver. "Yeah he's here with me. You okay, Buckley?"

You perk up at the mention of Robin. She and you were friends--forged by fire and Math class. Robin clocked you the second you walked into that algebra class. You took in the writing on her Chuck Taylors and knew too. It wasn't that it was obvious but it was more like signals. If you were looking for your people, even the smallest hint was something to cling to and also be terrified off.

But that year--your junior, her sophomore--the two of you became fast friends. Now, even though you've graduated, you still went by her job to chat. The two of you still made efforts to have standing lunch dates when you could.

You push up off the couch too, taking the short trip to Eddie's kitchen where the phone resides. You faintly catch the sound of Robin's voice slurring together. Eddie notices the furrow of your brow and brings a hand to rub it over your back. Maybe it's all fine. But your heart beat thrums in your neck.

She asks again for you and Eddie hands the phone over. "Rob?" you question.

She giggles into the receiver. "Hi, so, uh, I need help."

"Help? Where are you?" you ask.

"I-" a hiccup interrupts her speech. "Steve's place. He sssaid he wanted to talk. But he'ss totally trashed."

"From the sounds of it, so are you?"

"No, no, no,' Robin quickly corrects. "But his parents are going to be back in town tomorrow. My fingers aren't cooperating with me. Please," Robin begs into the phone. "I won't ever ask for another favor for as long as I live."

"Steve's parents are never home," you mutter to yourself.

"Please, please, please." Another hiccup cuts Robin off and you sigh as you agree to come to Steve's place. You'd only been out the front of his house. It's not that you and Steve were strangers to each other. In fact you'd hazard the terms acquaintances to describe each other. But still, the two of you had a sort of line. You were friends with Robin and Steve was friends with Eddie and you learned about each other via this connection, but hadn't delved into anything beyond that.

"Fine. But you owe me. Interrupting date night is like a total no-no.'

"I know. I'm ssorry. Tell Eddie I'll do whatever he wants to make it up. Well, not whatever I won't suck his--'

"Alright, alright," you huff to cut her off. "Sit still. We're on our way."

"Thank you! I love you! Oh my god," Robin gushes. At the same time, Eddie's voice rings throughout the trailer, "We?"

And just faintly before you hang up the phone you finally catch Steve's voice. "And another thing, Robs!'

It's definitely going to be a long night.

It takes you all of three minutes to convince Eddie to let you leave. He pouts for a while stating you can't leave when it's so dark out. But he knows it's Robin asking for you and he knows you won't take his no. So as you pull the sweatshirt back over your t-shirt and unearth your shoes from underneath Eddie's bed, you watch Eddie follow suit. He slips into his jacket, gets his shoes back on, and right as you grab your keys, he takes them from you.

'Well if you're going, so am I. I'm not getting left behind," he counters.

When you pull up to Steve's house, you're not sure what you're expecting. Perhaps, you're waiting for Steve to fall out of the door, shout at you for showing up at your door. Instead through, Robin greets you. Behind her you can hear sniffles. "It's not fair!" Steve huffs.

"I am a dumbass," Robin greets. "But here are my knights in shining---leather jackets?" She squints just a little, but then waves you all inside. She's not as gone as you initially thought. But the place is a little out of sorts.

There's cans littered throughout the house. A fine level of dust on the shelves. It doesn't even look like anyone lives there truly. "Is he okay?" you ask.

Robin shrugs. "A recurring theme. I just--can one person help me get the cans up and other help me get Steve to bed? He's a large man. Doesn't look it, but damn he's a gaggle of limbs."

Eddie volunteers to help get Steve up to his room. It makes the most sense. "Alright, big guy, let's get you all tucked in," Eddie teases.

"Who the fuck let you in, man?" Steve laughs. You only hear the taunts as you trail behind Robin into the kitchen. It's not too bad in here. There's bottles, a few glasses in the sink. You initially thought maybe the place had been overrun with mold. But it's relatively tame. Steve clearly does his bet to keep the house together. It's not perfect but you don't think anyone with a full time job to keep a house perfectly intact.

The trash bag whips in your ear and Robin hands it over to you. "Why-why don't you take a seat, Robin?" you offer directing her to a chair at the kitchen table.

"Didn't want him drinking alone,' she offers, resting her head on her forearms. She hadn't expected Steve to go on the tangent and binge that he had. She didn't want to catch up to him, but damn Steve and his charm when he'd make a joke about how slow Robin was going with her own intake. So she'd give him just a taste--flip him off as she took her sip. He grinned with an easy, Atta girl each time.

Now, the room did not feel as stable as it started out as and Steve was worse for wear. Though he didn't seem belligerent, she could see the sadness behind his eyes. It was a shitty time for Steve to fall down into this well of self-pity. He'd been bitching about how his parents were finally coming back into town weeks before the holidays in order to keep up appearances.

It started him on a spiral. Robin couldn't control it, not when she agreed to also have a drink or three with Steve. Not eating before hand was catching up. You fix Robin a glass of water and think maybe Steve should have one too. So you find another glass and go into the living room where Eddie is covered in a not sober Steve. Eddie's laughing as the slightly younger man has slung himself over Eddie's shoulders. But when Steve eyes fall onto yours, you watch something turn.

You don't know what it is as first, but you put the glass down on the table. "So you don't hate yourself in the morning," you laugh and then turn back into the kitchen.

"Is that?" Steve asks to Eddie. It would be a whisper if not for the fact that Steve wasn't truly in control of his volume. "No way," he finishes, interrupting his own thought.

You're not sure what he's referring to, so you chuckle just a little slightly unsure of circumstances. "In the flesh. You okay, Eds?"

Eddie nods, "Yeah, nothing I can't handle."

You turn back into the kitchen, setting out for real this time to clean up what's been left behind. Robin's soft snores hit your ears and you think maybe she was further gone than she let on. You'll let her sleep for the time being. Though you know her parents are definitely going to have a lot of questions when you drop her off.

You just get water into the sink when you catch Eddie's voice. "Steve, you're drunk. Don't--"

Something bumps hard--you hear the thump followed by the shriek of Eddie and the rattle of glass. You spin around and a slightly uncoordinated Steve is barreling through the kitchen to you. "I knew it. I knew you'd come," he's babbling.

"Steve?" you question, taking a small step back. "What are you?"

"I was trying to tell Robin," Steve sighs as he wraps you into a hug. "She didn't believe me. But I knew. You always come, Nance."

As your body freezes, your hands pinned between your and Steve's chest, you realize now what might've started this whole ordeal. "Steve, hate to break it to you," you start.

"No, no, you don't have to say anything. I know I'm a dunce. I know, but you always come." His body starts to tremble and you think maybe he's crying.

Eddie catches up, rounding the corner of the kitchen island. "Steve, buddy, I need you to step away from my boyfriend please," he starts gently.

"That's not funny," Steve starts. He unravels from you, but keeps an arm slung around your shoulders. You knew from the jokes the kids always made that you and Nancy shared a resemblance. It was a little unnerving seeing her for the first time. But being just as tall as Steve and Eddie definitely gave you a distinct edge over her.

"Steve, bud, I'm serious. It's-it's not Nancy. I know you miss her," Eddie reasons. He does offer an extended hand for Steve to take. "Why don't you and I-'

Steve's no longer paying attention, eyes zeroing in on you. "Sorry, Steve," you whisper. It takes him a moment and his eyes widen once it clicks.

"Oh-I'm-fuck, I'm sorry," he stumbles out, snatching his arm back like he'd put it near fire. Almost like popping a balloon, Steve deflates. He apologizes the entire time Eddie's walking with him up the stairs.

You knew of Steve and Nancy dating--much like everyone did. But you hadn't been privy to how much their relationship had impacted Steve this much. There's some part of you that's more worried if Steve's going to remember what he did rather than having been the one who has lived through it.

The kitchen is easy to clean thankfully. You know your dusting will be surface level, but as you go through the rooms downstairs, collecting whatever trash exist in those spaces, you give the tables and shelves a quick wipe. You're almost done with the living room when Eddie returns down stairs. The water that Steve spilled is starting to try and though you think you should maybe have more concern for the carpet, you know that deep down it's just water.

Eddie and you work in relative silence until you're tossing the trash bags into the bins at the back of the house. Right as the two of you are getting ready to head back into the house, his arms wrap around your waist. "I'm going to have to keep you away from jocks now," Eddie teases.

You snort. "Steve is clearly drunk."

"Yeah, and you're clearly a hot commodity," Eddie teases. You weren't sure how he'd react to Steve's mistake. But you know even behind the taunts, there could also be a lingering insecurity.

"Well good for you, I purposefully took myself off the market," you return.

"Hmm, who might be the lucky guy who snatched you up?"

"Not anyone I think you would know."

Eddle laughs, head dipping to press a kiss to your neck. He does have to fight the material of your sweatshirt to do it, but it doesn't seem to deter Eddie at all. The night carries your laughter. For the smallest of moments, it's just the two of you. You turn in his embrace, heart picking up as you watch the skin around Eddie's eyes crinkle with his smile.

"You're handsome, you know?" you whisper.

"I've been told a time or two," Eddie shrugs. You can spot the slight change of color in his cheeks.

"Thanks for coming with me to rescue, Robin."

"Of course." He says it with ease as though he wouldn't choose to do anything else if faced with the choice.

It's happening for you stop yourself, stretching to take Eddie's lips into a kiss. It starts slow, tasting the nicotine on his tongue from the smoke you're sure Eddie had before you came over. And behind it there's the hint of chocolate from the M&M's he stole from you too. Eddie smells of the earth--deeply as you press it into your nose. He holds your hips as the kisses increase intensity. There's a push and pull, sighs and smacks.

You pull back just a little and tilt his head back. It's going to make Eddie puddy. You know that. It's why you do it--kissing down his throat. The whimper falls almost immediately as your lips work over his skin. It's easy to do this, after a few months of exploring you know Eddie a bit better than you think he knows himself.

So you suck, pursing lips to pull at his skin and then release it with a pop. Eddie shivers that the flat of your tongue smoothing over the hickey you've no doubt left behind on his pale skin. He doesn't care though.

His grip tightens at your hips and he sighs. "Baby--once we drop Robin off, I'm going to get you back for this."

You laugh into his neck, dropping the act and instead cozying up into his hold. "I'm holding you to it."

-H

[effemar]

do you have any asoiaf or jaimebrienne fics you'd reccomend?

You're trying to make my day I see!!! You bet I do!!!

All the fics I'm recommending here are under either the 'ASOIAF' or 'ASOIAF and related fandoms' fandom tag, because I usually dodge show fic (with a few very special exceptions). I do, in fact, read a lot of jaimebrienne, but I have a few here that I really like that are focused on other things. I usually avoid modern AU, though I read it sometimes if the premise intrigues me.

From This Day Until the End of My Days -- JB fic of all time. Funny story: before I ever read or got into ASOIAF, I used to follow swordmaid (I think this is still their url?) here on tumblr because I liked their art, so I saw a lot of JB posting before I was even familiar with the characters. There's a specific line from this fic that they posted because it was so insanity inducing, and I was so shaken by it that I copy pasted it and kept it in my notes app to look at it when I wanted to drive myself crazy. I didn't even read the fic it was from because I knew nothing about the characters, but even then it had such an effect on me that I kept it on my phone at all times. I'm not going to tell you what the line is, because believe me, you will know it when you see it. Anyway. This should be required reading for everyone who enjoys JB even a little. "What does this fic feel like?" uhhhhh not everything feels like something else hope this helps <3

Deliverance -- Heed warnings on this. Melisandre my forever girl... I love when women are trapped in their bodies. I love when women give and give and give and it's not enough. I love when women are damned, condemned by their own minds, their own hearts. I love when women lie and kill and destroy themselves in the pursuit of something and never, ever get it. I love when women are scared. I love when women are scared and then angry and then scared again. I love when women bleed poison. I love when women no longer feel pain. I love when women kill other women. I love when women are red, and terrible, and red. I love when women are eaten alive by god. Melisandre needs to leave Stannis and get with a real man like me I'D burn as many children as she wanted...

The Rancher and the Mail Order Bride -- Modern AUs are over from now on we're putting ASOIAF characters in 1800's fantasy Australia. Jaime and Brienne should NOT have twitter accounts but you know what they should have? Cowboy hats. Jaime's here because he killed a king and then got caught fucking his sister in short order, and promptly got sent to fantasy Australia as a convict. Brienne's here because she responded to an ad seeking a wife and traveled to fantasy Australia in hopes of gaining a home and a living, but the guy didn't want to marry her and now she's stuck here. It's like Little House on the Prairie if Little House on the Prairie was about the importance of accepting help from others and becoming a participant in your own life. Also includes Classic Jaime One-Liner Moment 'didn't you commit incest with your own sister?' / 'okay well obviously it wouldn't be incest if it was someone ELSE'S sister' which I did think was funny I won't lie to you.

be yourself my ally -- I believe in the power of yuri to change the world and I think Sansa and Dany should be in love and play in the snow and hold hands and giggle together and I'm glad the person who wrote this understands my vision. They are so #feminism. I like this fic for a lot of reasons number one being that it's ASOIAF fic and not GOT fic (hard to find in the Daensa tag) and number two is that it gets the appeal of Daensa on a fundamental level... it's about the broken trust, the longing for home, the reclamation of girlhood.... it UNDERSTANDS.... Anyway. I love Sansa's characterization here and I think it's cute that her internal narration spends time lovingly describing all of Dany's outfits. There's a fun unintentional(?) Rhaenicent reference that I thought was sweet and weirdly fitting in context. It's not very clear on the actual events that transpire that make it so the setting can exist, but I like what they do clarify: Sansa killed Petyr confirmed!!!! WHOOPEE!!!!

witness to the arc towards the sun -- If I remember correctly this is technically 5+1 fic so it has separate little interactions. Some explicit some not? I think? Fav is the one where Jaime and Brienne are hanging out in the Eyrie and Jaime tells her about he and Cersei going down to see the lions under Casterly Rock. Scene for insane people. Should lions long for such things... when I tell you it lives in my head rent free... Both of the moments that affected me the most in this fic are Jaime childhood memories actually -- there's another bit later where he remembers going swimming with Cersei and Tyrion that makes me want to set myself on fire. Second fav interaction is probably the one where Brienne defends Jaime's character and he breaks out in sincerity hives. God i know that guy ugly sobs listening to ASMR affirmation videos... you tell Jaime Lannister he's a good person and he starts stress vomiting. Brienne also gets to have a matching honorable death crisis which I enjoyed. They have both a picnic and also an incident of traumatic wound care so it basically runs the full gamut 10/10 highly recommend.

Like Snufkin and Little My (we'll get around wherever) -- This one might be hit or miss -- its a bit niche but I love it so w/e it's going on here. I think part of why I like it so much is because there's a tendency to make modern AU characters have an almost crushing awareness of sociopolitical minutiae when I know in my heart that Ned Stark thinks gay people should keep it to themselves, Sansa posts awareness infographics on her instagram story without reading them, and Robb thought lesbian was a swear word until 15. This fic understands that. This fic knows that Arya deserves to be a nonbinary anarchist who sends people anon hate on tumblr, and Sansa deserves to follow influencer makeup tutorials and put "LGBTQIA+ ally :)" in her bio despite being a lesbian. And they deserve to be siblings who love each other and also kick each other in the shins. I believe this to the bottom of my soul.

And off they went, from here to there -- I don't have anything for this one I genuinely just love seeing people happy. I think Jaime and Brienne deserve to dance and be obnoxious and also not die.

Okay that's it. I have more that I like but they're embarrassing to recommend so I'll stop there. I also left off some HOTD fic I like, bc I was unsure whether you meant pure ASOIAF or if you'd allow derivatives, but know that there is a vast and beautiful wealth of Rhaenicant content in the world that you should read. Peace and love, may your ao3 scrolling be free of obscure kink fic ✌️

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

i feel like my brainworms are legit nerfing me

oversharing ahead but i honestly don't care nor see this as a big deal. what's the point of living if i can't talk about my life

i'm not sure what to do about it... one thing they don't warn about when it comes to recovery, you kind of go "backwards" in your timeline, unfolding deeper and deeper traumas. this leads to addressing needs that for most healthy individuals have been satisfied during appropriate stages of development. and it's kind of hard to navigate through, and the deeper into childhood, the harder. and the dumber some issues are.

like...

i identified one of major sources of my art block through noticing the same pattern while learning japanese. i have an exam next month, and i'm sitting here just clowning around, avoiding touching my workbooks. i don't have any struggles learning it. in fact, i'm catching things quickly and if i practiced, i would have been better. but i just can't make myself study, and the block is so strong, it's paralyzing me the same way my art does.

why learn or do anything, if 1. there are people who are better at it, from those who studied better to native speakers, or in case with art, are more creative and have been going to art school since they fell out of the womb 2. i get nothing from it, no praise, no attention, nothing. no change in attitude towards me (this phrasing suits better, considering what i'm about to say next)

and one can think of bajillion things to debunk these points. like, who the fuck cares, do what you like, engage in things that make you happy, also learning skills or expressing oneself through art doesn't render "nothing" as a result, like, it's obvious how both can be monetized, if we're going for "practical" needs, and how many other opportunities await me that can broaden horizons and enrich my existence.

but... but.

the entity we're trying to tell these things isn't the current, conscious mind of 30 year old me.

it's an ostracized, bullied, weird tween that seems to be doing good at school, where the kid finds escapism from issues at home. the kid is called a goddamn little genius at first, but eventually it all becomes boring or doesn't go in line with school program, it's annoying, the kid is fucking annoying too, can't come up with anything useful or worthy everyone's time. so the kid scribbles random shit to escape or vent about both school and home life. or just embraces art. and hey, looks like these skills are cool and complex enough to catch everyone's attention once again and be the cool artist daughter/cousin/friend/whatever i was called to have, i'm considered talented and useful again. for a while. didn't last long because it's all still essentially useless. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa help

(ok random cringy note but i have been thinking recently how fandom often draws spamton the way i used to dress in my mid teens; the time when every bit of hope or resemblance of peace in my life crashed beyond retrieve. he's my spirit animal now)

like. words and lack of full background (which i won't go into in public obviously sjxjskxsxj) can't really explain why something that doesn't sound like a big deal as i type it left such a huge impact on me. my life at home was like a pure nightmare at some point, and came with serious baggage i still yet to unpack. my life at school sucked a lot, except for two years where i switched schools and it brought some relief, albeit temporarily. there were days where i would spend a whole night up, being on full alert for any random reason, including physically fighting or eavesdropping every noise i can hear behind my door, hoping i won't get stabbed or raped in my sleep. that's why i have issues sleeping these days and wake up from every tiny fucking noise. and after that, i would go to school and say i literally couldn't do my homework and none of these fuckheads cared, they called me useless, lazy, and threatened with consequences. yeah, "being useful" became tied close to "having a right to live" because of all the fucking mess that went on, the puzzle is coming together.

~

as i was reading pete walker's book "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving", bits about describing traumatized children growing into completely dysfunctional adults, to the point where they're on disability and literally can't function at all, i thought about how i essentially sabotaged myself through thing i described above.

if i didn't deliberately ruin everything, i may have had a network of artists at this point, probably opportunities that i can't even think of, stable income, probably also a stable community, but i just dipped right when i was getting more and more interesting commission requests, getting more known, merch being done with my art, people being interested in my stuff, getting some cool opportunities, some of which were even about to spread outside fandom circles...

that hole of void inside, that feeling of uselessness and not being enough, has been growing (along with other issues i had, but still) until it burst and i was avoiding it all like plague, saying "no" to everyone who came to me until they stopped coming, obsessing over being the lamest artist featured everywhere, being afraid to create because it felt like i'm ruining paper/canvas/digital spaces/etc with my essence, that i'm not allowed to make myself present in anyone's life, unless i earned that right through being "useful", and even then i still experienced paranoia and severe anger issues and so, so, so many other things that led me to be diagnosed with a mood disorder, a personality disorder, and then put on antipsychotics and antidepressants.

...

you know, now that i'm typing this all out, i'm thinking that this made it all even worse. i'm even more scared of approaching these issues, because now they have a "take a pill and shut up" layer to it. "you're born useless and don't have a place among us, sedate yourself so you stop being a nuisance to everyone". "no, the world is completely fine, you're the broken one". "normal people live fine with X and Y, you're just crazy, delusional, sick, yOuR BraIn ChEmIcAlS ArE OfF meNtAL iLLness Is WHen Ur BraIn Is BrokeN1!1 MentAl DisorDers ExisT In VacUuM U jUsT WeRe BorN MenThollY EEL TAKE THIS COCKTAIL OF DANGEROUS DRUGS WITH A BUNCH OF SIDE EFFECTS THAT WILL KILL THE REST OF YOUR MIND!!111"

i have no idea in the fucking slightest what to do. i'm doing much, much better than ever. i could even say, i'm very close to being normal, at least in the way i define it. but everything that has to do with vague definition of occupation, hobby, and collective/community? i'm kinda just brute forcing things as of now, idk.

but i don't think i can push it this way for long, cuz... progress in my skills doesn't heal. using a new language doesn't heal. finishing projects, no matter how fun or cool, doesn't heal. getting praised for these doesn't heal. getting paid for my art (or anything at all in theory) doesn't heal. socializing doesn't heal, i just do it in spite of lil demon behind my shoulder constantly whispering me that i'm everyone's laughing stock/annoyance/whatever and everyone i'm interested in wants me away. having some people prove these delusions to me in the past few years didn't help either.

maybe i'll come to solution later, as i always do, but as of now... i'm stuck and i don't know where to start

[askavettech]

Hey Jay! Recently I have found myself back in the world of veterinary medicine after taking a few years to decide what I wanted to do and finish my undergrad degree in Management instead of Animal Science which is what I was pursuing when I started my college journey. At the age of 27 (for the next two months) I have decided that I do in fact want to pursue my dream of applying to vet school and I have been trying to connect with folks who have experienced applying and I was wondering if you would be open to sharing your experience with me. Hope you're doing well recovering your knee! Talk soon,

GT

Ahahhahhhhaahhh you poor naive FOOL!

I'm just kidding - we're happy to have you back in the field!

But I won't lie to you, the journey to vet school is butts. I'm still on it, still wanting to go the distance, but it's stiiillll butts.

So GT, first things first, RESEARCH YOUR SCHOOLS. You gotta know their minimum requirements, their prerequisites, their DUE DATES, their additional fees (it's all about additional fees), and anything else you can get from their websites, emails, and VMCAS.

Ahahhahhhhaahhh you poor naive FOOL!

I'm just kidding - we're happy to have you back in the field! 

But I won't lie to you, the journey to vet school is butts. I'm still on it, still wanting to go the distance, but it's stiiillll butts. 

So GT, I’m gonna give you a bulleted list of what I think are the most important things you need to know before and while applying for veterinary school starting in the 2024 cycle.

Set up an account at VMCAS (aka Veterinary Medical College Application Service) The site doesn’t open until January (when the application cycle for 2024 starts), but keep the site bookmarked and check back frequently so you can stay updated.

On that note, check out AAVMC (American Association of Veterinary Medical Colleges)  Here you can get the lowdown on ALL the veterinary schools, which can inform your decision on which to apply to

The most important information you are going to want to focus on; 1. DUE DATES - for all applications, fees, and coursework a. Put them in your calendar, on sticky notes, on your forehead - whatever you need to do to not miss them. Once they’re passed, you’re out of luck 2. Minimum prerequisite course requirements (coursework and grades) a. Also, know that prerequisite coursework expires after ten years. It's BS and I’m dealing with that right now ugh 2. Letters of recommendations 

You will need at least three - no exceptions - and at least one needs to come from a licensed veterinarian

All your previous academic records, relevant experience, volunteer work, and anything else that is even slightly animal/veterinary related that can beef up your application

You will have to dig back through your old transcripts (you’ll need to get an official one) and get all your old coursework - it is very important to get your grades and courses correct/exact on the application

They’re gonna ask for very specific dates, hours, and numbers so just do the best you can in documenting this

The next part of the application(s) is all about personal essays. The standard application has its own base essays and then each individual application for each school has its own essays.

Spend the most time on this. Every admissions person I have talked to says that the essays are where it’s at. Try to make yourself stand out from the crowd - explain your reasonings for wanting to be a vet beyond “I like animals,” and do your best to tell your story.

Sidenote: If you plan to apply to the two colleges in Texas, there is an entirely DIFFERENT application called the TMDSAS (Texas Medical & Dental Schools Application Service) you will have to make an account for, fill out, have your letter of recommendation sent to, and pay for. It's very annoying because Texas thinks it's just so special. (I live in Texas I can say these things)

I wanna say that’s everything? I’m sure there is more, but the listed websites help a lot too. 

I also want to say, don’t get discouraged. Most people don’t get in on their first try. Not saying you won’t! It’s just statistics. So if you don’t get in, keep trying! Lord knows we need more vets! 

Best of luck to you and if you need any more help, you know where to find me!

[lindszeppelin]

In the new Esquire magazine interview Austin did in December, they touch on him living in a house in LA and an apartment in NYC. He also touched on Kaia, meaning he won't comment on her just that he's happy....so I guess we were all wrong in assuming about them? And they do live together? I mean this was December before Cabo but idk, he seems to not want to comment on his personal life, which I respect, I just still don't understand if he wants to be private why is he ok with our pap queen Kaia? But I guess if he's happy with that girl, then cheers. Hope she will stop using him for clout at some point.

This is probably what everyone is going to message me about, i have a lot of messages and i haven't read through them all yet. But I hope I can get my answer out fully here and now so im not leaving you guys hanging until later when i can answer them properly. But allow me to help ease the collective conscious.

How a person reads into a quote, a word, a sentence, is totally up to personal interpretation. Austin had his own way of saying what he did, and he knew what he meant. But the crazy shippers will only read the physical words they see on the paper and not stop to think. He said nothing about kaia and he alluded to nothing either. He was loud about wanting his private life to be just that, private. The interviewer was trying to poke their nose in a place where Austin clearly did not want to go, and he pacified the situation by saying a blanket general statement of "im happy". Clearly just to get the topic of convo to move back into work related territory. Fucking Christ, he doesn't even know how old the dog is when asked about it. You been with kaia for 2 years and you're telling me you don't know how old that dog is that he spends his time with?? He doesn't give a fuck lol. You would think if he was truly "happy" he would offer up more than a very passive and blasé "im happy" and move on. He put a stop right there to everything. And that to me does not scream someone who is truly happy.

Second of all to hit on this point, the interviewer did not say they lived together. Context is key. They said theoretically they could. That is not "they factually do live together". What does this interviewer for Esquire know? He knows just about as much as we as fans know. He bases his theory off of seeing pap pictures from the past and there you go, according to that interviewer he landed on "well maybe they do but I don't know for sure". And we have been through this before, SHE has her own house which is the one from halloween, and HE has his own house...the one where he was papped getting his mail back last summer/fall. They have separate dwellings.

And correct, this was before the disastrous cabo vacation where he stayed in the entire time, and here we are now with everything that has since gone down. Keep that in mind as you're reading that article. Time has passed since this article was done.

And I will end this quickly by summing up my general thoughts. Austin being adamant about keeping his personal life private is everything we need to know about the fact that he knows this will not last with her. Her family puts him on blast all the time, kaia calls the paps on him all the time, they never respect his boundaries of not wanting his shit out there. If he was truly "happy" he wouldn't have hid himself away in Cabo the entire time while with her family on christmas break. His behaviors and actions do not scream a man that is in love with his girl. Making a mountain out of a "im happy" molehill is where logic and reasoning go to die.

[northwest-cryptid]

So this is a personal little rant/vent about something that happened recently. One thing about general etiquette that I think has been lost, and I wish wasn't; is the concept of consent outside of sexual acts.

A friend of mine at work thought my jacket was cool and sort of lightly grabbed my shoulder to get a better look at it and then immediately removed himself to remark "oh shit my bad, sorry to touch you without permission." It didn't bother me or anything but I was sort of taken aback by it because it was so weird to me to see/hear someone actually care about something like that after living a life of being such a people pleaser that my feelings on such things don't seem to matter.

See it's not a huge secret that I'm a casual streamer, and as such I have friends and acquaintances who stream as well. It really bothered me that at one point I was TOLD, not asked; but TOLD that a friend of mine and I were to participate in a collab the following day when.

A. My friend did not have the time off from work, and did not play the game in question to begin with.

and B. I didn't have the time nor interest in playing such game at the moment, as I didn't really get along well with some of the people in the collab.

So I sort of brought that up and I was told basically "oh we wanted 4 people." Which made my friend and I realize we were literally just last second filler. We weren't valued as individuals, we were "assigned" to the collab because they thought we had the game and thought we were free and thought we wouldn't care about being thrown into a collab last minute.

For the record the person in charge of the collab actually took that information rather well, and we've collabed since with them properly asking me "would you like to collab for [game] on [day] around [time]?" Which I have so much respect for, because yes it's okay to make mistakes as long as you actually try to grow from them. It also helps that the host and I were proper friends before this incident; and continue to actually be friends (of some years now) after the incident.

People don't know how to, or just won't ask for consent on things they think don't require it. Despite the fact that asking anyone to do anything honestly requires some level of consent.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to sound like some extremist. I'm not going to ask the barista if they mind making me a drink; by working the job they're consenting to do the duties of that job, they are ultimately in control of their actions and could quit at any time without any level of personal backlash from me as a consumer of the product they prepare. However in a social situation consent is really important and often boils down to just changing your words a little.

At work I'm often ASKED "would you mind handling this?" or "Can I get you to run and do that for me?" Which makes a big difference when our regional manager always words things as "Do this, do that. You need to get this done."

So what spurred all of this? Well recently my friend who was in charge of that collab was having a collab with the other individual from that original collab; which is great, and I thought maybe this would be a cool time to sort of be friendly and maybe sort of fix that burnt bridge a little. So I tried talking in chat before, not my friend; but the other individual literally said "Get in here, Cryptid." To which my good friend, and host; had to tell them "Cryptid's got people visiting right now" and their response was simply "oh that's homophobic"

The whole reason this sort of "sent me" so to speak is because it felt like someone who hardly knows me, and didn't seem to enjoy my company last time we spent time together; and who doesn't value my time was demanding my time over me getting to finally spend time with friends who I've known for YEARS and hardly ever get to see in person. While my friend was very understanding and even told me "hey say hi to [mutual friend] for me!" This individual who hardly knows me demanded I join the collab, and was audibly upset when those demands could not be met due to my own self interest.

Don't act like that, it's not funny; it's not a good look. It makes you look extremely self entitled and VERY arrogant. It's rough because I know they are a friend of my friend and I am desperately trying to get along with them, but their social etiquette is so lacking that every time I try to spend time with them I come away from it feeling annoyed and bothered by a general lack of being respected as a human being.

[ineffablefool]

I was wondering if you finished and plan to publish the Umbrella AU? I checked your account and I couldn't find it anywhere (sorry if I just didn't notice). I would really gladly read it! (I desperately need it)

Finished, no; still plan to publish, though, yes.

I realized something like a year and a half ago that the story needed a structural overhaul from the beginning before I could move on to its conclusion. (Example: Crowley never actually indicates what he does for a living, in like six months of increasingly close friendship. Even when he hangs out at the bookshop for hours at a time "putting in some hours" on his laptop. So how does he pay his bills? I have no idea.) Then I didn't actually do it, because the ol' depression started getting so bad that "200 usable words on a short one-shot" became a really, really good week. (I used to write INNW chapters in 2-3 days. How.)

I know what it feels like when a story is no longer alive in my head, and this one is still kicking. It's just kicking on the other side of a door, and the door is closed, and there's a big pile of furniture built up blocking that door plus also a sign saying "Beware Of Leopard".

Would a probable outtake help? Looks like I rewrote the currently-last couple of chapters about a dozen times at the end of 2021, so here's the entirety of one chunk which I dropped midway through and I'm guessing probably won't pick up again:

--

[This human!Aziraphale is in his early 40s and has never been on a date or anything, and now somehow he seems to have become on smooching terms with Crowley. Some number of days or possibly weeks into this he asks Crowley whether Crowley is in love with him.]

"Well, I mean, hah." It was probably meant as a laugh, that sound. Perhaps Crowley was trying to smile. "Don't need to talk about all that so fast, do we? I mean, you -- you like me, like spending time with me, right? Angel?"

Aziraphale nodded, not looking up from where his hands now lay absolutely still together.

"Right -- and I… really like spending time with you, best part of my life these days, honestly -- w-which I don't mean to mean anything --"

The shiver in Crowley's voice was all the 'No' Aziraphale needed, really. Of course it wouldn't be that. There was a reason no one had ever so much as asked him out for coffee, let alone wanted to pursue a romance with him, and whatever that reason might be, it wasn't as though anything had changed. He was still only himself. And yes, at last, he'd found exactly one man who could be fond of him -- who could inexplicably find him physically attractive, who would actually want to kiss him -- but that was already more than he should ever have expected.

He was just one of those poor souls whose fate was to never be loved like that.

"It's all right," he said, cutting off Crowley's scramble for an answer. "I'm not expecting you to be."

"Aziraphale --"

There was a little catch in his throat, suddenly, although he wasn't quite sure where it had come from. "Goodness, I'm rather making a hash of things, aren't I? I didn't mean to push you into having to give the 'it's not you, it's me' speech quite so early…"

He raised his head, finally, trying on a reassuring smile, although he hoped that at least some of the terror would already be gone from Crowley's face.

Ah. Even worse: now the poor man looked absolutely heartbroken.

"Aziraphale," Crowley said again. "It isn't you."

"Please, you needn't --"

"And it isn't me either, it… urgh." At last Crowley pushed himself away from the wall, pacing without really seeming to be watching where he was going. His hands shoved through his hair, setting it to disarray and somehow looking even more handsome than before. "It isn't anyone. There isn't a thing."

--

Then Crowley would stumble through his explanation that in fact the answer is yes actually very much extremely yeah yes.

[chronicxwanderlust]

get to know the author!

name: tabitha

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: used to be a die-hard tumblr im's girlie but finally caught onto the discord train a few years ago! still stick to im's for like initial contact/plotting but definitely am reached better and interact more consistently on discord.

most active muse: that would be my bb marley! she's my longest active muse of about...four years now? i feel like it might be longer but that's as old as any of her blogs that i can find! but without fail she's always the muse i have the most inspiration for, and a foolproof way to get myself out of any writing slumps. will say though after really only exclusively playing her for like three years, this last year or so i've tried my hand at so many new characters/fcs and now have so many new muses that i adore!

experience/how many years: when i tell you that i have absolutely zero recollection of how i discovered rping on this hellsite!!! my middle school bestie introduced me to tumblr for sure but how i ever discovered rp will probably forever be a mystery to me, but i think i've been here since i 2011? do not remember if rping on omegle (PLEASE who let me be unsupervised on the computer!!!!) came before or after, but once i was here i started with glee rp (cannot interfere, it's a canon event) and somehow crawled my way to today and into my home amongst simple town rps asdfghgfghj.

best experience: this last year or so has probably given me the biggest giggles that i can remember ever having!!! i had the fortune of meeting some really great writers to brave this madness together and just getting to laugh and bounce ideas and plots off of them and also to have a front row seat to their work outside of what we've come up with has just been so cool and inspiring? like the fact that this is done as a silly little hobby but i genuinely am constantly left just in awe of their talent is just so beyond me!

rp pet peeves: lazy plotters or people who so clearly don't read your intro before just throwing connects out there (usually in order to face chase and it's like babe, if you read my intro i wouldn't have to tell you why x, y, and z does not fit for this muse like?)! i don't mind shipping certain faces together but wanting a ship solely for the faces and not caring about the muse themself is usually so blatant and obnoxious.

fluff, angst, or smut: big fan of both fluff and angst! i generally like more plot driven threads, which i feel usually lends itself to angst, but love balancing out the heavy stuff with something light and fun when it calls for it and def think those can help move a plot along as well! think it's kinda funny that before i was allowed to write smut, i wanted to do so more than i do now that i actually can? it's not that i won't, but it'd probably have to be a ship i really cared about and thought it'd add something to see what that connection is like when they're intimate?

plots or memes: i am the worstttttt when it comes to memes! i start off with such good intentions but usually they just build up in my inbox and i tell myself i should answer them...and then let them sit in my inbox for longer until it's really been too long since i should've answered them and tell myself i'll be better next time. but plots, i live for that shit! don't even need big elaborate ones, like one of my longest rp besties and i usually just send each other little blurbs of an idea and literally could spend forever going back and forth with musings and headcanons for it. 

long or short replies: i look back on like my 2016 rp days and literally do not know how i went from little one line responses to writing novels. like the #pls don't feel like you have to match length tag is v me coded bc i absolutely am not getting out of a response without at least a paragraph. love love love exploring my muses thought processes and reasonings and their inner monologue, which can lead to some pretty lengthy responses, depending on the thread!

time to write: tell myself all day at work that when i get home, it's time to write...and then i get home and i tell myself that it's time to nap instead! i have the most time to write in the evening/night time or during the weekends, and that's when i can get random little bursts of motivation to not wait until the suns gone down to start writing.

are you like your muses: i do like to give my muses tiny little parts of myself, like if they reference a tiktok that's ended up on my fyp, or some weird quirks or opinions, but as a whole, i don't think i'd consider myself too similar to any of them!

tagged by: @waveofstars thank you bb!

tagging: @sinsoakedsaints, @tinytriceratop, @kiplingwriter, + anyone who wants to!