#also hes literally the stereotypical grumpy guy but hes not old

[greenandsorrow]

~Her man child~

Headcanons 📺

Vox is the definition of a manchild and I think it's kinda obvious.

He's the mean kind, acting with so much spite, sometimes without it being necessary or justified.

He NEEDS to be taken seriously. He tries so hard, blurring the lines between respect, fear and tolerance.

But when you two are alone... the telly-head man is a whiny boy.

He complains like it's a form of art. You can't help but roll your eyes playfully when he lets out a too loud sigh, but after doing so you're always ready to give him all the reassurance and attention he desperately craves.

Your man prefers being the little spoon. He's like a lap cat.

If anyone finds out about his cuddly nature, he's gonna die a second time...

Vox feels the need to constantly prove himself to Velvette and Valentino, but with you he feels safe. He can be overly emotional. And weak. And needy.

Very needy.

If you're not somewhere behind the camera admiring him and boosting his confidence, his day is ruined.

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

In the mornings he doesn't even turn on his screen... settling for the protection setting instead.

You have to be patient with him.

Bring him a steaming cup of coffee and hug him from behind and he might as well start giggling like a schoolgirl.

He's too sensitive for harsh jokes. Being in Hell means ONLY dark and cruel humour, but Vox can't take it sometimes.

His ego is fragile.

In order to feel loved, Vox has to be showered in extravagant compliments on a daily basis. Whether it's about his appearance, his job, his amazing and very interesting personality... He needs them.

When you tell him he's better than the radio demon.... he literally gets rock hard.

Vox is in a constant dilemma between showing you off for all Pentagram City to know you're his, or keeping you secret.

It's the same as a boy with his favourite toy. If other kids see his toy, he's gonna have to share.

What if someone steals his favourite toy?! Or even worse... BREAK IT?!

That being said, he doesn't objectify you, but he's terrible at showing affection or appreciation.

He's gonna be there for you, help you with anything you need, laugh with you, spend quality time with you. Still, deep communication is a difficult subject for him.

Thank god you're observant enough to catch all the messages he tries to pass to you.

Such an attention seeker though.

Have you ever seen a six year old trying to impress his crush?

Just look at Vox trying to woo you. It's the same thing.

But he's not that bad... His self-esteem is an obstacle alright, but he becomes a rug for you to step on and use as you wish most of the time.

Vox would definitely go out of his way if you asked something from him. You're his rock. It's the least he can do.

The guy even whimpers in his sleep.

Vox loves to fill his hands with your thighs when it's bed time. They're warm and soothing to him, like stress toys. Being a walking television has its disadvantages temperature wise.

He would bend you over and take you in front of a mirror so he could see himself while at it, but he hasn't done so yet. He wants to ask you beforehand and make sure it won't make you feel weird.

Vox is easy to rile up. A breathy compliment and a squeeze of his thigh and he's more than ready to go.

He doesn't actually feel dominant, but he tries to act like it. This Vee member has the stereotype man = dominance engraved in his subconsciousness and so he fights to live up to it.

But between you and me... Treat him like an inexperienced and innocent boy and he'll be crying out in pleasure.

Aka... be a femdom. Even a soft one. You won't even have to try that much.

Another thing. Vox is loud. (Like his name implies 🫣)

He also pants a lot. Almost like he's hyperventilating.

Unlike Alastor, this man is very insecure about both his performance and... size.

I'm not saying he's lacking in either though. It's just how his mind works. Always comparing himself to his opponents and in this case, his opponents are other men that could perhaps satisfy you more thoroughly than him.

Allow me to say that he fucks in an anxious way. Hands shaking and his mantra "Does that feel good to you darling?"

You just need to praise him a little. (A lot)

He doesn't last that long but he'll be sure to rub your clit so you don't either.

When it gets too real, he tears up at the end, like a baby that's holding back from crying. But you're there to hold him until he calms down.

He's usually too tired (and still nervous) afterwards for proper aftercare. Vox likes to be babied though. It's more personal attention after all.

Oh to be cleaned up and tucked to bed! Only then will he feel comfortable enough to run his fingers through your hair and mumble a faint thank you.

Vox's head has a bit of an awkward shape for cunnilingus. However, he has a surprisingly long tongue that can reach more than enough to have you moaning out how good of a boy he's being.

He usually cums in his pants while eating you out.

And when you return the favour it's usually to relieve his stress at work. He feels like a teenager when you do it. It's an act of service, really.

He low-key fucks your face, not enough to choke you but you do gag around him. It makes him feel in control. It makes him feel like a man.

To sum up, Vox is a bit dependent on you and on your validation, but he would never hurt you or become too overbearing.

He's needy, but not stupid.

He is the definition of a manchild and I think I proved my point.

But he's your manchild sis!

Support a struggling university student! Thank you so so much🫶 CLICK HERE (PayPal link)

~~~

my masterlist || Hazbin Hotel masterlist 🦷

Vox divider by @rubra-wav

Support divider by @cafekitsune

The explicit content one... I don't remember :(

~~~

[sneedlier]

Wooo wordgirl oc redesign!!

He used to be a villain but I redesigned him so he's just an ex-scientist instead. Also he's Amazon Guy's younger brother and he used to be Steven's lab partner before he got turned into Two-Brains, that's when he quit. He's now the science teacher at Woodview elementary and basically tries to mind his own business half the time (more info on him in the pictures if u can read my handwriting LMFAO)

Also yes I ship him with Two-Brains what did u expect from me

I'll probably post more of him, like him in wordgirl scenes

An extra ref sheet that's slightly outdated

[elaryssue]

I’m about to ramble why I think Rei works better as a Bottom than Kazuki is. They might as well switch, but this post might not be going deeper on that. As well as to clarify this is from a shipper pov.

Many people dislike Bottom Rei just because He has a cold attitude and resemblances the stereotypical father figure. But also because they want to break the well-known: “shorter and slimmer grumpy guy” over-used BL troupe. I do understand that. However, at doing that, many other fall in the cliché of placing Kazuki as the bottom just because he enjoys doing activities stereotypically associated with women, such as cooking, cleaning or being fond of children. Which is, I think, a very sexist argument and I’m glad the writers are doing a great not, amazing job with this character. He is very comfortable with his colorful yet masculine style, which doesn’t only display on his outfits but also in his furniture choices (because yeah, at this point it’s canon he made almost all the decoration in Rei’s flat). But at the same time, has a feminine spot, because he literally choose almost all of Miri outfits and wow, they are very cute and stylish.

I don’t care if they themselves call him “The mom”, because is more like a joke about this specific topic, more like: “let’s make a male character that can break gender rolls without making him act or look girly, but adding many troupes that people will laugh about because they remind them a mother figure and many situations they themselves have gone through. Let’s just show the world that men doesn’t have to be pleased with helping the minimum in the house or when taking care of the children, where both parent should be doing equally.” Coming back to Rei, in my opinion him being the bottom might even deep the plot concerning his OFF and ON modes and all about the Suwa family legacy: His OFF mode represents everything his father despites and works as a antonym of the “ very masculine and elegant cold-blooded hitman”. Where being placed in a submissive position is just unacceptable for the image of Superiority and dominance a future Boss must display. I will always see the Father-son conversation in chapter 8 as subtext of a homophobic Father and his gay son. (Or at least that’s what you can see on media). All about continuing the legacy is literally Shigeki telling Rei to have blood-related children of his own with of course a high class girl that might as well be involved in their world and share their vision, like the daughter of an associated gang. Just for this old piece of sht to discover that his own blood might actually prefer other men company. Which is also implied in the scene when he talks sht about Kazuki. Just for it to be even more suspicious when Rei immediately defended him with such emotion in his voice. (he even refers Kazuki by his name). Miserably destroying his façade about hadn’t made any personal attachments. At that point it was clear to me his father didn’t bite a bit of what Rei had said.

I also hold the headcanon that Rei took after his mother, and my as well be a reason for his father being so cruel to him, especially when he was younger and the resemblance was stronger. Plus adding the fact that, even though he see many of Kazuki’s plans as dumb or stupid, he goes along with them, even when it’s obvious he could reduced him at any moment, he lets Kazuki handle him around and invade his personal space. This guy is touch-starved and enjoys being taken care of and seem pretty comfortable having someone else taking the lead, although he might first die before admitting it.

Just to finish this mess, apart from the mother – malewife jokes, there is nothing that can convince me of Kazuki being the bottom. Yeah, these are anime clichés, but even between all the broken ones, I feel the staff did saved the physixal ones (height difference, body shape), plus the fact that Kazuki is the only one to be shown interested in being in relationships where he tops (obviously with women). Or when his relationship with Rei and Miri is compared as his with Yuzuko and the unborn baby. Of course Rei was also compared with his mentor, where Kazuki might as well resembled his wife. But chapter 7 did went deeper with the comparisons.

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[shorkbrian]

OOOOO okok.... kirishima with a darling who’s his study partner by chance (college) and he just like,,, falls in love with them! but she have a boyfriend so :(((( but he decides the best idea is the take her by the hair and “lovingly” fuck his new little girlfriend, even though the cries pouring out her mouth are anything but... and he just. forces her to be his girlfriend and you’re just miserable babey

Bro bro bror bror b rorr bor rbro rbo

Prelude - He’s like a stereotypical jock, but is super kind and friendly and just a big HIMBO lololol.

Pairing - Kirishima X Reader

Prompt - At the top

Warnings -  NSFW, full non-con here folks. Kirishima doesn’t let reader tell him no. That is NOT cool y’all. Consent is always required.

Music -  https://youtu.be/2k5w6eTxGXk 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’re good at most subjects but this one just really flies over your head. When you went to the teacher, she paired you up with the only other person in the class that seemed to be having trouble, Kirishima. The teacher figured that the two of you could work through the material together.

You didn’t mind. Kirishima seemed like a decent guy, even though he was very physically intimidating. He was on the football team, built like a literal brick wall, but his personality was sunshine and rainbows. The man always greeted you with the brightest smile when you showed up to study.

For the most part, the two of you struggled to get work done. Kirishima could do no more than three problems before getting frustrated or bored, and he’d start making funny faces at you, maybe kick your shins underneath the table to get you to pay attention to him. When you finally looked up to see him with his face contorted in the weirdest way possible, you’d burst out laughing. That’s how the two of you got kicked out the library for a month, had to meet at a coffeeshop to study.

Kirishima liked coffee so sweet that it made you sick, almost gagging after taking a sip of his drink when he offered. Likewise, Kirishima couldn’t stand your tea, said it tasted like “old lady water” and needed sugar. You learned a lot about each other, and eventually reached the point were you would consider the two of you to be friends.

You were friends. Until he decided you weren’t`

——

Today you two are in the library, both of you struggling over your worksheets. A tapping on your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your boyfriend, and you were promptly hopping to your feet, smiling and hugging your boyfriend. He wanted to come see you, spend his lunch break together, so you had told him to meet you in the library, where you and Kiri had rented a study room.

“Midoriya! Hi baby.”

With a kiss on the cheek, your boyfriend was b lushing, pulling out a chair at the table so he could sit down. “Hey, who’s this?”

He was gesturing to Kirishima, who was glaring at your boyfriend. That was odd. Usually the redhead had no problem meeting new people, maybe he was just grumpy because he was trying to study?

“Oh, this is my study buddy, Kiri. Kiri, this is my boyfriend, Midoriya!” Midoriya nodded at Kirishima, and Kiri gave a flick of his head in return, before hunching over to scribble furiously at his paper. Yeah, he was definitely irritated at having his studying interrupted. Unusual, but you figured you should be supportive of the redhead taking his studies seriously.

“Hey babe, let’s go eat out in the courtyard - I don’t wanna make Kiri uncomfortable.”

Your boyfriend nodded, getting up from the seat he had just plopped down in, before giving a sheepish wave to the as the two of you exited the room.

“I’ll be back, sorry!”

you whisper-yelled to Kirishima before the door swung shut.

There was small talk as you and your boyfriend made your way to the pretty courtyard of the college, filled with flowering trees and cozy benches for couples (like yourselves) to sit on.

It was peaceful, sitting there, chatting with your boyfriend while he shared his sandwich with you. He was working as an intern for a big engineering company, and you could tell he was happy about his work as he animatedly recounted what he had done so far that day, pausing every now and then to gulp down a bite of sandwich.

But as all good things must end, your boyfriend had to leave after his lunch break was up, checking the time on his watch and gasping as he realized he had spent way too much time talking to you.

He apologized profusely for his abrupt exit, giving you a brief, slightly messy press of his lips against yours before he gathered his bag, shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. Midoriya waved, skipping backwards, making you chuckle when he tripped and almost fell.

You loved your boyfriend, thought of yourself as the luckiest girl for getting together with the kindest, sweetest man you had ever met.

——

Returning to the private study room, You were surprised to see Kirishima still hunched over his paper, still scratching out numbers. His grip was white-knuckled on the pencil.

“Uh, Kiri? You okay dude?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever, I’m fine.” He didn’t sound fine. The man sounded angry.

Figuring he just maybe needed some space, you shrugged “... I need to go get a book real quick. Need anything?”

“No.”  Was his short reply.

Kirishima was normally a bubbly, friendly person. Why was he so irritated all of a sudden? Did this have something to do with your boyfriend interrupting the study session? 

You pondered over this as you walked through the shelves, partly glad that you weren’t having to dodge other students. You and Kiri usually choose times that the library was relatively empty, just in case the redhead made you choke in laughter again. 

Finding the aisle your book should be in, you meandered slowly to the end, scanning the shelves. Ah! There it was, on one of the higher shelves - but luckily you could still reach if you went on your tippy-toes.

A  big hand slipped around your waist, and suddenly you felt cool air on your backside, as if someone had flipped up the edge of your skirt. You tried to whirl around, smack whichever dumb idiot thought it’d be funny to feel you up, but you were pushed up against the bookshelf before you had the chance, shelf almost rattling with the force.

“Hey—!” Another hand clamped over your mouth, smothering your rather loud protest. The giant hand covered more than half of your face, and you couldn’t help but gasp. Was this really happening? Were you really about to get groped by some meathead senior?

“I’m really disappointed (Y/N).”

Wait.

“I thought what we had was special, thought that I was the only one you looked at like that. That hurts.”

Kirishima?

The hand on your waist dipped lower, and yup - he had flipped your skirt up, was running his hand the top of your panties, feeling the fabric between his fingers. You struggled - tried to kick back, headbutt him, twist out of his grip - but the man was too big. He slipped a finger underneath the elastic waistband of your panties, pulled it back, let it go so it could snap against your skin; make you flinch.

“Newsflash (Y/N), your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t actually love you. You could do so much better than a little Twink like him. You need a real man, someone who can take care of you and give you what you need, give you anything you want.” What was he talking about? The hand at your mouth was clamping your jaw shut, putting so much pressure against the lower half of your face that you couldn’t even open your mouth, just let out angry whines.  When his other hand traveled around to the front of your body, dancing over the flesh of your hip,  you wiggled, trying to put up a fight. It was useless.

Kirishima shoved his hand down your panties, groaning lowly into your ear when his fingers grazed the tuft of curls above your pussy, before dipping further down to stroke gently over your folds. You shivered, angry whines giving way to distressed whimpers, wanting to yell, scream for the librarian that you knew was at their desk. 

You were hanging on his arm, trying to pull his giant hand away from your face, but there was no point. The man spent hours in the gym, building up his muscles to make him better at football, and it coincidentally made him better at holding you against his body while he slipped a finger into your now-wet cunt.

The side of his thumb was flicking at your clit, his middle finger slowly dragging across your walls. You held back a groan when it thrusted in deeper, passing by your g-spot on the way in. Kirishima noticed.

“Did you get tired of waiting for me to make a move? So needy for a cock to fill you up that you ran and got a boyfriend?” What? You shook your head no, but his fingers clenched down tighter over your face, and you froze in pain.  “I was gonna be so romantic for you, get a bunch of flowers and one of those big stuffed bears. Ask you to be my girlfriend.  But you just couldn’t wait, could you? Had to go and ruin everything.”

His voice was low, his breath tickling your ear and making you shiver as he whispered, practically growling. You had never seem him irritated, let alone angry. You were scared. Another finger slipped into your pussy, and you keened, scrabbling at his arm at the sudden stretch. Kiri snickered.

“Gonna have to take a few more to get you ready for me babe, I’m not a little stick like your stupid excuse for a ’boyfriend’.”

Tears sprang to your eyes. You loved Midoriya, had ever since you met him. He was shy and nervous, but he was also sweet. Midoriya would never treat you like this, would always ask if you wanted to make each other feel good, ask before he so much as looked at you. Kirishima was a brute.

Another finger entered you, and while the stretch stung, you also felt pleasantly full. His thumb was still moving over your clit, and with a muffled wail your hips twitched in the air, grinding down on his thumb as you suddenly came.

Kirishima didn’t stop. He huffed out a quiet laugh, gave your a wet kiss against your neck. “See? Knew you were meant for me. I love you baby, gonna make you feel so good.”

Blinking, you were trying to come down from the height of your pleasure, flinching away from Kiri as his fingers slipped out of you. Oh god, you didn’t want him to keep going. Muffled cries left your lips, desperately trying to get Kirishima to stop, slow down, please wait, but the man was determined. Your panties were pulled to the side, and something big nudged against your entrance. 

“Sorry baby-“ Kiri grunted, beginning to inch his way inside your tight pussy. “You’re just so sexy ’n pretty, can’t hold myself back.”

The mushroom head of his cock popped past your opening, and you squealed in pain. You were wailing behind his hand, and the man could feel the tears dripping onto his fingers as he held your mouth shut, could feel your lips moving as you cried “Stop, stop! Hurts, oh god Kiri it hurts.“

“Shit, baby I’m sorry, ‘m sorry.”  Without moving, you heard the sound of him spitting, and then felt his hand bump against where he was connected to you. He had spit in his palm, and was the rest of his girthy cock with the slickness, practically jerking himself off into your cunt. You cried harder.

“Shh, shhh it’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you. You’ll get to cum again, don’t worry. Bet your shrimpy little bitchboy never had you cumming twice, did he?” His voice turned sour at the end of his sentence, filled with venom at the mere mention of your boyfriend. 

Kirishima moaned, wet hand coming to rest on your hip as he slowly, slowly began inching forward, forcing his cock into your body. It still hurt, but not as much as it had at first - the slide easier with the addition of the man’s spit. It felt like he was pushing himself in forever, his cock could’ve been in your throat by the time his balls pressed flush against you

. He was bottomed out, and you were gasping, struggling to suck in air around your sobs and his giant hand. The redhead stilled, allowing the two of you to adjust to the sensation. While he waited, Kiri brought his hand up to your hair, sweeping it away from your neck so he could kiss the tender flesh their, hair still in his fist.

“You’re so good for me, look at you takin’ all of my cock. Fuck, fuck - you feel so warm.” He whined between kisses, pulling your hair to tilt your head back as he kissed towards the front of your neck. You shivered as the pain zinged through your scalp, sharp and prickly.

The man pressed up behind you had waited long enough. With no warning, he drew back his hips - cock sliding out of you. He was so /big/.  You wished he had prepared you more, at least then you wouldn’t be sore as he pressed back into you, setting up a rhythm of slow, long thrusts.

He was pulling your head back by your hair, making your head rest against his shoulder against your will, your hands still clutching desperately at his arm. Shoved against the bookshelf like this wasn’t very comfortable, but neither was getting your pussy wrecked by a man twice your size. 

Gradually, Kiri’s pace increased, your pussy working to lubricate itself and making each rapid thrust end with a squelching sound and the slap of his plump balls against the top of your clit.  Truthfully, Midoriya had never fucked you this good, but you were fine with the young man’s sexual ability. He would finish inside you, then lick out his cum until you were squirming and writhing on his tongue, and then Midoriya suck at your clit, shove his fingers into you and fuck you fast until you squirted, leaving the both of you in bliss.

Kirishima had carnal desire, sucking dark marks into the column of your throat, accidentally tugging your hair on each thrust, making you climb further onto your tiptoes to try and alleviate the pressure. He was getting rougher, throaty moans being punched out of him on each thrust - the man tried to quiet himself down by burying his face into the crook of your neck, biting down onto your skin. It just made you sob harder, the pain and pleasure mixing and sending you hurtling towards another orgasm.

And then he slammed into you so hard that your feet lifted off the ground, your body held up by his hand in your hair and the cock filling your pussy. A wail escaped you, his hand silencing it, and you came, twitching in the big man’s hold. 

“Oh, fuck, oh my god baby you’re so amazing oh my god, oh my god-“ Your toes brushed against the ground again. Kirishima was slouching his back so he could pummel into your smaller form even harder, babbling into your shoulder as his hips stuttered when he reached his own orgasm.

You sobbed as you felt his warmth filling your insides. 

Kirishima stayed there, leaning his head against your shoulder while he sucked in air, breathing raggedly. On every sob, you could feel his length inside you, and you were so disgusted.

His breathing evened out. Your sobbing quieted down into measly sniffles. Kiri let go of your hair, scratching at your scalp to alleviate the stinging sensation that he knew he must’ve caused by pulling on the strands.

“I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth now, can you be quiet for me?” You nodded, and the brushing grip was released from your face. 

You stayed silent, hand coming up to massage at your jaw where his big fingers had dug into the tender flesh.

“Good. Wanna go back to my dorm to clean up?”

Shaking your head, you barely choking out a panicked “N-no!”, almost forgetting to be quiet in your haste to respond.  Kirishima sighed behind you, pressing his chest against your back as he did so.

“Baby, I said I was gonna take care of you. I wanna take care of you. We’re going back to my dorm.”

He slowly slipped out of you, wincing as the air hit his dick.  With his length leaving you empty, Kiri smoothed your panties back into pale, then wiped his cock on the underside of your skirt before tucking it back into his pants. You wished you hadn’t chosen a skirt that morning when you were getting dressed.

Without another word, Kiri gently turned you around to face him, his eyes filled with a warmth that they always seemed to hold whenever the two of you locked eyes during a study session. His big arms encircled you, pulling you into his broad chest as he squeezed, the hug surprisingly gentle, almost calming. It would have been an amazing hug, if only the man hadn’t raped you beforehand.

  A jacket was being wrapped around  the bottom half of your legs, Kiri securing it so that you wouldn’t flash anyone when he picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style. You rubbed at your eyes, trying to scrub away the tears as your ex-friend carried you towards the library exit, smiling down at you fondly.

“I love you, you know that? I’m gonna take such good care of you baby.” You ignored him.

“And don’t worry about your old boyfriend, I’m going to talk to him and break the news that you aren’t interested in him anymore. You’ve got something much better now.”

[vivithefolle]

I was always confused by Hermiones behavior towards Ron in OOTP. Was she trying to hide her feelings? because she didn't really gave him any signs. Why she was so nasty at him with the teaspoon thing. Was she trying to make him jealous with the letters? What did or didn't she understand from Ron giving her the perfume. Is all this just JKR being stupid because she don't want them together before the very end. Sry for all these questions but I am rly confused can you plz help Vivi?

Once again, I’ll copy one of my Quora essays!

it’s a stereotype to say that girls resort to underhanded tactics when it comes to dating, or like to “test” their partner’s love… but it’s a stereotype for a reason: there are teenage girls who resort to those tactics.

The archetype of the Tsundere exists as an exaggeration of the traits some teenage girls demonstrate when they find themselves in a position of vulnerability such as “having a crush on someone”.

For someone as prideful as Hermione is, having a crush on someone is extremely threatening.

Hermione prides herself in her logic and intelligence. The validation she receives from getting good grades is something she needs, because she’s very insecure deep down. She thinks all she has to offer is her intelligence, and as she goes from a little girl to a young woman, this causes her grief because she doesn’t want to be just “intelligent”. As her body develops and changes, she finds that being the smartest one in the room isn’t enough anymore - she still loves being the smartest in the room, but she wants more than just that, she wants validation for other things. That’s why she was extremely hurt when Ron tactlessly (and Rowling-ly) remarks “you’re a girl” - she wants to be seen as a girl, as a woman, as more than a walking brain. She wants validation that she is a girl, and beautiful, and sexy, and capable of making heads spin. She needs “sexual” validation, for lack of a better term.

Of course she doesn’t really realize those feelings. All she knows is that it hurts when Ron seems to consider her “one of the guys”, or looks at girls that aren’t her. She likes it when he compliments her, but she’s also angry at him because he only ever seems to compliment her intelligence and damn it, she wants him to compliment something else! She wants him to look at her, REALLY look at her! Look at her like he looks at the pretty girls!

Little does she know that Ron does look at her, but he probably thinks he’s a pervert for doing so. Because - because she’s Hermione! She’s not like other girls, she’s not - she’s not the kind of girl you ogle! She’s the kind of girl you gift flowers to - roses, they’re her favourite - the kind of girl you have long, meaningful talks with - not sure if they’re always meaningful, but they sure talk a lot together! - she’s the kind of girl you… the kind of girl you love, not the kind of girl you just look at…

*wistful sigh* Mutual pining, mutual admiration, slow burn, +100k words…

But truth is, many people go around saying that Hermione treating Ron harshly and treating pretty much every boy (with exceptions like Draco Malfoy) more gently is because she actually doesn’t like Ron, and likes anyone but Ron.

When the truth actually is that… Hermione is awful. No, no, seriously, when Hermione is in love, she’s terrible. She can be a nice friend but when she’s in love with you she’s horrible. Especially since she’s a teenager.

Hermione is a prime example of a Tsundere.

The cute, blushy, giggling Hermione who flirts with [insert character here] and cries delicately when she’s rejected? Pure fanfiction. Canon Hermione keeps her love aggressively hidden behind countless iron walls, only letting it peek through when she’s absolutely sure the person she likes isn’t looking.

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. - Order of the Phoenix

Rare footage of the Hermione Granger, scientific name Selfinsertus Overratedus, displaying interest in specimen of mighty fine hunk

Hermione isn’t sweet and tender and kind with the one she loves. At least, the teenage Hermione isn’t. She’s harsh, she’s disdainful and only gives out breadcrumbs of affection once in a while as part of the complicated mind game she’s playing.

You see, Hermione is never going to make the first move. You must be the one to ask her out, because she sure as hell ain’t going to do it for you.

This is due, I think, to the events of Goblet of Fire. Viktor Krum asks her out because Rowling absolutely wants Hermione to be the ugly duckling who transforms into the beautiful swan, so she brings in Cardboard Cutout With No Personality Aside From Being Famous to woo her self-insert.

Now Hermione has gotten the experience of being asked out, and being a rather socially awkward person who also hates being vulnerable - more on that later - well, now she just assumes that if someone asked her out once, then anyone who does like her can do the same.

Which is why she doesn’t realize that Ron is actually aware he loves her. There’s a big comedy of assumptions going on in Romione’s love story.

Hermione believes that Ron either 1) likes her but is oblivious to his own feelings and so she thinks she has to “give him hints” to make him realize it. Emphasized best by this exchange:

Hermione laughed. “Harry you’re worse than Ron [at understanding girls]… well, no, you’re not, “ she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy.

“I’ve sent him so many signals and yet he doesn’t notice. Woe is me!”

2) doesn’t actually likes her, but sees her just as a good mate or worse, as another sister.

Hermione keeps flip-flopping between her two assumptions throughout the series, all because of her biggest assumption: she thinks that if Ron was interested in her, he would ask her out. Because Viktor Krum was interested in her, and he asked her out, so why wouldn’t Ron do the same? They’re both boys and she’s a girl, after all. Isn’t that how it works?

This is also why Hermione’s “““invitation”““ to the Slug Club isn’t even an invitation - really, it’s worse than Ron’s invite to the Yule Ball, at least he was actually offering her to come:

“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, […], “and I was going to ask you to come, but […] I won’t bother.”

“I was going to ask you to come but I won’t bother.”

This is literally what she says. It’s more of a “look Ron! An invite! If you’re good maybe I’ll think about letting you have it!” than anything else.

It’s because this is Hermione’s last resort. The ultimate humiliation. She has to resort to inviting Ron when in her mind, he’s supposed to be the one asking her out. He’s the boy! He’s supposed to do it! (And this is why I laugh at all the fools who claim that Hermione is the pinnacle of feminism. Seriously, the girl is more of a misogynist than any other character in the series.)

Hermione failed to take into account that Ron’s insecurity cripples him worse than she imagines, and that he copes with it differently than she copes with her own insecurities.

And this is the part where I explain about Hermione’s hatred of being vulnerable.

You see, I can relate quite a lot to Hermione - I see a lot of me in her, and a lot of people who hurt me in the past as well.

Bullied because she was an easy target, being the know-it-all and local teacher’s pet? Yep. Bullied for her appearance (I got braces when I was 8 and have been wearing glasses since I was a toddler, she had her bushy hair and buck teeth)? Can relate. Cried easily? Super check. Rule enforcer when the teachers weren’t around? Mega check.

And naturally, when you’re such a water fountain as I was, there’s nothing more humiliating than ending up crying in front of your bullies. You quickly learn that it will bring you nothing but more bullying. More humiliation. More vulnerability.

Hence why you start despising any form of vulnerability you find in yourself.

Obviously, being in love? That’s one of the most terrible things you can find yourself in when you’re afraid of being vulnerable. Because, oh god, your feelings are completely insane around the person. They make or ruin your day. You keep wanting to show them how cool / great / impressive you are, and you try desperately to mask all your little faults so they will hopefully return your feelings.

Given that Hermione is already not the most socially-aware battering ram in the knife drawer, she acts especially nasty to Ron, because she’s overcompensating for the vulnerability he makes her feel. And she most likely isn’t even aware of it! Forget Fanfic Hermione cringing as she realizes how mean she sounds, welcome Canon Hermione who just doubles down on a pointless argument just to drive home how totally in control she is and how Ron has absolutely zero effect on her, no siree!

In short: Hermione overthinks. She overthinks everything. She’s overthinking every of Ron’s actions, she’s assuming he’s either out to get her because she assumes he’s perfectly aware of her crush on him and he’s just toying with her (this is the very insecure, pessimistic Hermione speaking), she’s assuming he’s completely oblivious to her feelings and so she uses the ages-old technique of the “subtle hints” to make her feelings known to him (and fails miserably because she doesn’t want to put herself out there too much in case he rejects her, which would be the ultimate humiliation and the worst possible thing to happen to her, in her teenage girl mind), and she’s assuming he’ll never like her the way she likes him, all the while being woefully oblivious to the fact that Ron does want to be with her but she keeps sending him signals that she sees him as a troublesome child rather than a potential partner.

All in all, a teenage Hermione in love is utter torture. She’s her own worst enemy, and it’s only when she decides to let go of it all - of the mind games, of the distancing, of the passive-aggressive; of the overthinking - and just takes a chance that her efforts bear fruit.

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.

(As much as I’m disillusioned with Romione, this kiss is still one of my favourite parts of the series. They mutually sweep each other off their feet for god’s sake, you wish your ship would.)

[calocera]

tell me everything ever abt dorian please

:D okay!!!

hes one of my fave ocs and also a pretty old one! ive had him since around 2017-18ish and he started as a d&d character; hes far removed from that now because that campaign ended horribly so i didnt let him go and now hes just my guy

hes an incubus ex-pirate whos a grumpy asshole and likes to be annoying on purpose. most of his youth he was an orphan doing odd jobs and ofc he eventually got roped into organized crime and that led all the way into becoming a pirate. the pirate stuff was actually very good for his mental health comparatively lmao. he lost his horn and pirate crew in an explosion and after that he was stuck in a hospital for a few years and he did lots of introspection; he used to be pretty evil but hes trying to turn himself around and have a redemption arc, but its not working the best since hes coming at it real self aware so his motives kinda hinder him doing stuff genuinely and not just for the sake of it.

he has very foggy memory of his childhood and he doesnt know if thats because of trauma or literal physical trauma to the head from the explosion, but either way he doesnt really care. hes one of those people who very radically disregards their past if they dont think its applicable to their current life. he doesnt remember anything before about 6 or 7, and big chunks of his teens/20s are missing like how and when he transitioned, specifics of his past criminal jobs, important peoples faces etc.

he and my other ocs chamomile and aryll are tentative friends, they are the first people he met after deciding to turn his life around and hes kinda made it his mission to help them out, still selfish since hes doing it for his own conscience and also bc he thinks they are hot but hey. hes kinda the straightman of the trio but like hes still fucked up and a freak, hes just very jaded and snarky and he has problems as the edgy oc stereotype goes

here is his toyhouse and he also has a playlist if you wanna check that stuff out :)

[maruzzewrites]

youre like really really good at creating real characterisation of la squadra so i was just curious, what type of person do you think each of them would be into?

Oh, thank you! Being side characters, there is much you can build on for them so it’s easy to write for them. I like to see others’ characterization of them and I’m glad people like mine!

Anyways, I do have some ideas on which type of people they would be into. Of course, considering they’re fictional characters, they could be into anyone and anything, but these are based on my personal interpretation of them.

Risotto would probably be into someone he deems cute, I think. Of course, he seems to be into metal/hardcore stuff, but his Stand is literally little beans and I always thought it be because he is into cutesy stuff secretly. He would probably be into someone on the quieter side, reserved, maybe even cautious around others, just because they’d fit his lifestyle and his personality better. He doesn’t seem to talk more than necessary, yet has bursts of anger at times, so he’d prefer someone who wouldn’t really bother him. Appearance wise, he doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who cares about how someone looks, but probably would like someone not extremely short and/or petite, just so he doesn’t squish them.

Prosciutto has a complicated relationship with his own preferences. He has conditioned himself to think he has to like the stereotypical ideal of beauty (like thin, beautiful women or fit, tall men and anything in between), yet his actual preferences fall into other things. He was probably the type to bully those he was attracted to when he was a kid/teen, and it was always easy because he is attracted to imperfections or traits that go out of the beauty norms: big noses, birthmarks, stretch marks, odd body builds, anything that makes someone look a bit more special and a bit more unique. He also believes he wants someone demure, submissive, when he actually craves kindness and patience. Like someone who would massage his scalp because he tied his knots too tight, or who will let him rest his head on their shoulder or their lap to relax. At the same time, they need to be willing to be pampered because he needs to feel useful or like he is a good partner, be willing to be touched and praised, without being a doormat.

Formaggio is a slacker, probably someone who doesn’t like commitment, the type of guy who makes “the old ball and chain” kind of jokes, yet he has a vague desire to settle down. He seems like the type of guy who would love bigger partners, but also shorter people, if you got meat on you he is a happy man. Unluckily, he seems like the type who would just snide at thinner people, but he could come around if you have the right personality. Which means, be relaxed, be outgoing, be willing to joke around, and don’t get offended by his terrible humor and horrible dark jokes. Dude is obviously a sleaze, so you need to be willing to indulge this and pay him back, just keep the playful side of the relationship going.

Melone probably seeks a mixture of the opposite of what he looks for his Stand and some traits he actually needs to make Babyface’s homunculus. I mean, his Stand is an extension of his soul, so it’s obvious some of his preferences would spill there. He has no empathy, at least not immediate (he can probably understand emotions and state of minds if he think them over), so he would work well with someone who is empathetic but assertive enough to slap some sense into his head without being walked over by him. He’s a pervert, so be sexual or sensual enough to match him or keep up with him, but lay down your boundaries very, very clearly. There is no space to hesitation with Melone, you have to decisive, strong and firm enough to stay with him. With looks, he can get to like anything, but if you have nice hips and soft thighs, he can die happy. His hands are always cold and he will use the excuse to shove them between your legs and squish your inner thighs.

Ghiaccio is grumpy and can explode, he probably likes someone who is patient enough to deal with that. If you’re just as fiery, he would probably like it, but you need to be mature enough to step away from possible arguments that can degenerate. In my mind, he probably would like a judgmental person just because he would love to sit around and criticize everything and everyone with you, and if you bring your intelligence to the table, he’s over the moon. He isn’t the most verbally affectionate person, and physical contact can be sparse with him, so match him in this because he can get angry if you insist too much on these aspects. He probably likes someone shorter than him just because he is tired of people making fun of him for being shorter than average, but he would like body modifications and flashy hair colors, he just likes young things.

Pesci is aware he isn’t attractive, even below average. He knows he is short, he knows he has an odd shape, he knows that his sense of style is bad and that his personality isn’t the best. All this makes him very flexible in terms of preferences: he’s more prone to look beyond looks, he is easily intimidated by pretty people and tends to trust average or below-average looking people. He also likes taller partners. He responds well to praise, but hates when it’s dished too easily and too readily, it makes it feel fake. Be supportive, but make him feel like he is doing something for you and bringing something to the table, he would love to see his partner appreciate him with gestures rather than words. He’s also a bit clingy, and likes people who are clingy back, just don’t feed into his insecurity or you will be stuck with him 24/7.

Illuso is a smug, obnoxious snake, but he is surprisingly chill with preferences. He likes the “tired” look, something about a bit of casual appearance make him feel closer to someone. He likes someone quiet and calm, a silent type, because he likes to chill without saying a word and just enjoying your time together. Also, be okay with him gathering info on you and your family and your friends and anything else, because he needs to feel some sort of control and he really doesn’t want to get too possessive, so he gets it out with info gathering. He does pull pranks too, so have the sense of humor to take it in stride and maybe pay him back without wounding his pride too much.

[greenishbucket]

good vibez only

Perhaps it’s not in like, the festive spirit or whatever, but Dex refuses to feel shame in reactivating and skimming through his array of dating apps the second his flight gets delayed.

nursey/dex, tindering in an airport au, 1.6k. For @ellienchanted! thanks for the help with this and happy new year :D on ao3

Perhaps it’s not in like, the festive spirit or whatever, but Dex refuses to feel shame in reactivating and skimming through his array of dating apps the second his flight back to New York gets delayed. What else is he going to do? Read a book? Talk to the people around him? Not likely.

And like, he’s just maybe been feeling slightly more desperately alone than usual, after the holiday period spent with family. His parents were his parents and even his shithead brother had been lovey-dovey with his admittedly very nice girlfriend, not to even mention the bloodbath that was social media.

It’s only midday on New Year’s Eve, but Dex can sense in his old-man bones that it’s already ramping back up again after a few days of quiet after Christmas. Picturesque, loving content as far as a guy can scroll, most likely.

Not that Dex is bitter. He has friends, has love in his life and shit. He’s on his way home to show his face at Ford's party, after all. Except the plan is to prove he didn’t die en route, get smashed as efficiently as possible, then probably get kissed platonically by six people at midnight because his friends are like that, before ultimately heading home alone and passing out alone.

Dex is, in short, just acutely fucking aware of his singleness right now.

In the heart sense and in the dick sense, unfortunately. Whatever. He’s got a few boring hours stretching ahead of him; even if he doesn’t match with or message any of the many dudes he can swipe through, at least a good twenty percent of them are hot enough to pause for a whole second.

One guy, after some fifteen minutes of mindless, semi-horny swiping, warrants more time than that.

He has a tattoo. It wraps around his very nice bicep and Dex’s mouth goes dry. His name is Derek, and he has a couple shirtless pics, a hockey one, a few ones Dex figures are trying to convey culture – museums and art and like, sweeping landscapes – and ends it with a meme.

Which is like. It’s kind of funny, and this dude is super hot, but really? But also he is so, so hot. In like, a hot way, and in a beautiful way, so Dex can at least entertain the idea of their boning. Then Dex reads Derek’s bio:

‘what i want is what i’ve always wanted. what i want is to be changed.’ im pretty and my meat is huge. good vibez only, no haters ✌️

Dex doesn’t smile a little. He doesn’t. He definitely just rolls his eyes hard and swipes left. That quote. He doesn’t have the patience, not even for someone that looks like that.

“Ouch,” says a voice from over his shoulder. “Hard no for that one?”

Because of course, because his flight is delayed and the drive to the airport had been shit anyway, because of course – it’s the dude. He’s not just nearby, he’s literally right there. Derek. Sitting in the row of seats backed up against Dex’s, twisted round to watch over Dex’s shoulder in a flagrant disregard of like, normal fucking behaviour, and somehow even hotter in the gross airport lighting. He’s doing some kind of smirk thing that Dex isn’t into at all.

His voice is like– It’s nice. Dude has a nice voice.

And of course, instinctively, result of being a grumpy fuck since birth and years in the big city, Dex’s immediate response is, “Fuck off, asshole.” Then, back up instinct, result of his mom’s loving care and years in a small town, he adds, “Shit, sorry, that was- I didn’t mean- um.”

Derek’s smirk solidifies. Something natural rather than an expression he’s holding there, not that Dex would’ve recognised it wasn’t completely assured and legit until then. “No worries, man. It’s chill. Sexy pic with the lobster, though.”

-

Nursey absolutely, completely, fucking two thousand percent should not have said anything. He’d almost be surprised at himself, watching this whole thing happen out of body, except this is the least surprising behaviour from him ever. Like he’s ever been able to let a minor hurt pass without poking at it until it’s something unbearable and he has to nope out like that’d been his plan all along.

Whatever. It’s chill. He’s got this. They’re in an airport, so Nursey can nope out whenever he likes, and more effectively than usual. It’s going to be fun.

“Excuse me?” says Will.

Will, who Nursey had first noticed for his massive ears and exhausted vibes, then absently clocked as attractive, and then clocked some minutes later as the same dude whose profile he’d just come across. Will who Nursey had just swiped right on, though not before screencapping his profile and sending it to Chowder, captioned ‘a straight???’

Like. Okay. Nursey doesn’t want to stereotype, or whatever, tries really hard not to, but when a dude sees a bio like I'm Will. I like hockey and lobster-fishing and good beer. We should get to know each other? He's not proud of it but questions start arising.

“Sexy pic with the lobster,” Nursey repeats. It had been, honestly, in a kind of weird display-of-masculinity way that Nursey doesn’t want to unpack right then but definitely would with some weed.

“Thank you?” says Will. A pause. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No,” Nursey replies honestly. But that feels like some kind of defeat, because this guy is cute and freckly and like, certainly has hands, but he also just dismissed Nursey’s careful construction of self while Nursey watched, so he continues, “I mean, I’m a vegetarian? So I kind of do disagree with the concept of trapping and killing an innocent animal for your own consumption, or whatever.”

Will snorts. “Of course.”

Nursey’s stomach sinks. He should’ve known. Pretty eyes or not, it wasn’t going to be fun with a guy who is a self-proclaimed hockey and good beer fan. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” says Will.

Nursey doesn’t want to get into a full-blown argument in the middle of an airport, so he lets it drop. But he also doesn’t want to sit here in awkward silence or have to get up and haul all his shit over to somewhere else. “So, while we're both sitting here, any pointers for improvement?” he asks instead.

“What?”

“For my profile, dude. Gotta up my game, clearly.”

"Why?"

"Self-improvement is my new year's resolution," Nursey replies easily, only half-lying; it's been his new year's resolution for like, five years straight, whatever. "I'll start: you need a better bio, or just scrap the whole thing. You're just about cute enough to pull it off, but it does you zero favours, dude. Bland as fuck."

Will goes pale, then red, then says, "What the fuck? Who asked?" Nursey waits, unsure if he should keep pushing or if he's maybe crossed a line, and after a long moment or two Will sighs. “Okay, fine, I hate doing description things and I'm shit at it. But yours also sucks. You could try with less of the pretentious quote shit, for one thing.”

“Less Mary Szybist?” Nursey asks, only having to up his aghastness a little. “Mine does not suck. I’m trying to convey an inner sensitivity, bro. Poetry is a window to the soul.”

Will frowns. “I thought that was eyes.”

His frown is cute. Shit. “First, a little thing called poetic license? Second, you said I was pretentious.”

“It’s Shakespeare,” Will says, unimpressed. “You didn’t do Shakespeare in high school?”

“Sure,” Nursey agrees, “but clearly it didn’t stick,” which is a lie. “Haiku, though. That’s the good shit.”

“What?”

“In my bio. It’s a haiku, five-seven-five syllables?”

Will visibly goes through Nursey’s bio, mouthing out the words, which, hey. It left an impression, at least. “That’s not five-seven-five,” he says.

“I’m pretty and my / meat is huge. Chill vibez only / no haters. Peace sign,” Nursey recites easily, clapping the syllables out like they taught in elementary school.

Will snorts out a laugh and can’t quite seem to reign his face back into looking unimpressed. Nursey smiles back and can’t quite reign that in either. The bitterness from watching Will swipe past him seeps almost entirely away at last, Nursey finally able to unfold his arm from around his stomach; Will’s shoulders come down from around his ears, too.

“Um. I did actually like your photos,” he says after a moment, almost hesitant, those same ears flaming. “Like, a lot."

"Ditto," says Nursey, as casual as he can. Will is pretty great in pics, if unfortunately blind to his angles, and even better plus assholeish irl, which is a beauty of a combination.

"But you’re cheating your syllables with that peace sign bit, pretty sure,” Will adds.

Nursey rolls his eyes, ignores the warm glow. Not a straight, definitely. And Will thinks his pics are good, at least, which is a success of sorts. He doesn't know what flight Will is getting, but his own back to NYC has been delayed by a few hours, so maybe he should try and shoot his shot one last time.

He chucks his stuff over to Will's side of the chair-row, then hauls himself over. Pulls his sweater back down. Fuck this twisting around in his seat nonsense.

Will blinks, face pink. "Hi," he says, a little hoarse.

“I think you mean bye. I said no haters, didn't I?”

Will laughs again, full and warm this time. “Fuck off, asshole,” he says, and this time Nursey laughs with him.

[sourwolfstories]

Hey! Can you recommend some fics with doctor!Derek or Doctor!Stiles pls? Or where one or both of them are nurses? Thanks 😊

(this is exactly) where you’d want me by decideophobia

“Do you even have any nice and soothing words in your repertoire?” Stiles asks, holding still while McBroody shines a light into his eyes. “Or is it only me who they let you loose on?”

“I actually just downloaded a new set of comforting phrases to use on patients this morning but I haven’t had a chance to listen to and internalize them yet. I do know how to say, Good news: you’re not dead, and We only need to take off one of your legs, though.”

OR, the one where Stiles keeps ending up in the ER and Derek almost gets brain damage from so much stupid.

An Artist’s Personal Statement by green-leaf (greenleaf)

Being the middle child of five siblings, Stiles was used to taking the backseat. He was twenty-one years old, mouthy, pale skinned, and twitchy, and was probably the most overlooked in such a talented and good-looking family. Not only that but more often than not, he was bullied, teased, exposed (in a literal sense) and also ended up getting banged up and bruised. Thank goodness, there’s Dr. Hale to patch him up after all is said and done.

Just a monster of a fic with doctor!Derek and artist!Stiles, complete with a couple more Stilinskis and a gang of well-meaning friends running around trying to hook them up and keep them together.

Painful Maneuvers by saraubs

Still, whether or not the nurses want to hear it, Derek has some serious issues with the way Stiles skates around the ward, upending instruments and scattering papers and chewing on pens. His scrubs never fit right and are always riding up to show patches of smooth, pale skin and his hair is frankly pornographic. It’s just so…unprofessional.

Stiles is a hyperactive Obstetrician. Derek is a grumpy Midwife. It’s true love (and babies!).

Laughter is the Best Medicine by literaryoblivion

He hasn’t always been deaf.

Although, sometimes, he wishes he was. Mainly because he knows what he’s missing. He remembers what the rustle of the wind in the trees sounds like, remembers what kids playing in the playground sounded like, what laughter sounded like.

He misses it. A lot.

Misdiagnosis by Ilovesocks_24

It’s actually pretty simple:

Isaac is Stiles’ son.Derek is Isaac’s pediatrician.Stiles is Derek’s mate.

Or.

The one where Dr. Derek diagnoses Isaac with a fake disease in an effort to see Stiles more often and ultimately tell him that he is Derek’s mate.

I Need a Doctor by remy (iamremy)

The cute doctor with the flailing arms and pretty fingers is really getting on Derek’s nerves.

OR

The one where Derek is always in the ER for something or the other, and ends up getting close to his attending physician.

Like a Fire in your Heart by LacrimaDraconis

It was one of the slow night shifts, that Stiles got assigned one Derek Hale, captain of the local fire department, as a patient.

Broken in Your Arms by goldxblooded

Stiles finds a broken man with no memories. In the process of helping him remember who he is, Stiles finds himself feeling things he swore to never feel again. The past is brought to light, two broken halves try to make one whole.

No Superman by WhoNatural

(AKA The Sterek Scrubs AU)

In which Stiles learns that med school didn’t prepare him for much at all; even the most epic of bromances can be weakened with the right amount of long, curly hair and dimples; and sometimes, first impressions aren’t all they’re cracked up to be - it’s the digging beneath the bravado that reveals who’s worth getting to know a little better.

Dr. Hale’s probably still a dick, though.

But, Doctor! by stilinskisparkles

“We had to splint a girl’s leg in a ditch,” Scott says excitedly.

“Bro, you sound way too happy about that,” Stiles complains, opening up his bag and pulling out a Twinkie.

Derek removes it from his hand silently and replaces it with an apple. Stiles scowls at him for a second then bites into it, regardless. Derek sits back and lets the group discuss the merits of dramatic lifesaving feats for winning over the ladies. Scott is convinced it’ll help impress Allison; Isaac thinks Scott’s a loser. Stiles—

Stiles is falling asleep on Derek’s shoulder.

It Was My Fault by ohhitsanna

“There’s a patient,” she chocked on the words. “I need you to take care of him. He’s practically family,” she is crying now, half sobs forcing their way out of her throat and it’s a horrible sound that makes Derek want to step back, but her grip is still strong on his top. “They won’t let me back there with him, because I’m, well,” she scoffs, “Just look at me. You have to take care of him, you’re one of the best nurses here.”

Derek finds himself nodding before he even realizes he’s doing it. He’s not sure if it’s just blatant curiosity making him want to help or the fact that he’s never seen the strong Melissa McCall break down and almost beg Derek to take on a patient. Maybe a little bit of both, he decides. “Do you have his file?” she nods, handing him a thick manila folder with different colored paper sticking out of it everywhere, this patient must see be here a lot. What the hell kind of name is that? He can vaguely make out a ‘z’ somewhere in the name, but it mostly looks like a bunch of random letters.

“Stiles, do not call him anything but Stiles.” Melissa says, as if reading his mind.

Fight Me? by Lady_of_Winterfell

“So, I’m gonna make the assumption that that comment was because you’re not a morning person and I’m your first patient today—”“You’re not.”

“—because it’d be a shame that someone so great to look at is such an ass. Okay, maybe not a shame, but… stereotypical? I dunno, you’re really good looking. Like, model good looking. How’d you get—”

“Stop talking,” Derek interrupted again. “Open your mouth,” he ordered.

Stiles smirked. “That’s contradictory, Derek. See, have to open my mouth to talk—”

“Shut up,” Derek said quickly

Or where Stiles has cystic fibrosis and Derek is a new nurse at the hospital.

Lay a strong enough foundation by Mynuet

Stiles is the single father of a brand-new preemie; Derek is a nurse that works in the neonatal intensive care unit. They fall in love, and then magic happens.

The [Un]Successful Escapades of Sperm Collection by featherflairs

Stiles is a nurse in a fertility clinic.

Derek is getting his sperm tested.

There’s a bit of a misunderstanding.

Bet On It by IDreamOnlyOfYou (lauren3210)

Stiles is an RN and Derek the attending trauma surgeon at Beacon Hills Hospital. They’re constantly arguing, much to the amusement of their colleagues, who ultimately decide to take bets on when the sexual tension will finally explode. The only question is, who will win the jackpot?

Or

5 times one of the guys try to push Derek and Stiles together, and the time they worked it out all on their own.

Thorough Examination by Viet_joker

Stiles accidentally injured his muscles in his back thigh. He said it was fine, but Scott and his father urged him to at least get it checked out at the clinic.

Well, he did get it checked out, but it was more than just his thigh.

[ofrparker]

✧ · ˚ . matthew daddario? nah, that’s just riley parker. you know, they’re the twenty-six year-old mechanic/musician from alderley edge, cheshire… still doesn’t ring a bell ? come on, dude ! they’re all over ME.MIAMI’S homepage. it’s impossible for them to stay off of it because of the fact that they’re super choleric & refractory. they’re not all bad though, ‘cause they can be individualistic & bold too ! you can totally tell they’re an aquarius… it’s almost scary. look, if you want to remember them, just think of a smashed guitar, band tees stained with motor oil, and taking a swig of jack daniels instead of using mouthwash in the morning and you’ll be golden. ( he/him, cis male.  /  sam, 22, she/her, est. )

so, this guy right here…riley ignatius parker-warrington…will throw hands if you call him anything other than parker. it’s what everyone calls him. you gotta be really special to call him riley and not immediately get decked for it. tbh most people probably think parker is his first name anyway so! moving on

parker was born to a wealthy family in a small but affluent village called alderley edge in cheshire, england. he’s the youngest of four sons so he has three older brothers.

his family, the parker-warringtons ( known more commonly as the warringtons ) are so stupid rich that it actually hurts to think about. they’re basically the british rockefellers. parker’s great x6 granddad started the family business back a couple centuries ago and nowadays they’ve got their hands in everything from business to architecture to real estate to education to oil…they own a lot of stuff. the warrington building in downtown london was completely made up just now is basically the rockefeller center of the uk.

parker spent his early years sheltered and pampered and homeschooled by tutors and nannies bc his parents never had time for him but it’s whatever he got over it really early on in life.

parker’s always been a huge troublemaker with a restless nature so his wealthy, uptight, lowkey shady af parents who are obsessed with the family’s image could never really deal with him and eventually decided to just ship him off to boarding schools all over europe, just one after the other after the other bc he kept getting kicked out lmao.

about the only thing he enjoyed about his childhood and schooling were his music lessons. he was taught to play piano, violin, and even the harp. other things like math and history and science didn’t come easily to him at all, but music? he was great at it and he’s always loved it. during his teen years while away at boarding school was when he first procured an electric guitar and learned to play. along with that, he also discovered punk music, aka the greatest thing in the entire fucking universe if you ask him. far as music goes, he’d found his calling in his early teenage years.

at school he was basically that rebellious kid in all the movies who wore doc martens with his prim & proper school uniform and carried around a pocket knife and cut class to go smoke while vandalizing school property and constantly started got into fights with all of the prissy prep school boys.

literally the only reason he actually graduated rather than flunking out was because his father was able to pull some strings aka bought his very last boarding school a whole new library wing. parker did actually consider running away a few times, but there was a part of him really reaaaaally deep down that actually enjoyed some aspects of school ( though he very strongly believes many education systems across the world need a serious overhaul and etc etc etc don’t ask him unless you want a lecture ). anyway, the moment he was done with school, he did finally skip out on…well, everything and everyone and ditched the country altogether, heading out first to seattle washington, then to los angeles, california, and then he finally settled in miami when he was twenty-two, so he’s lived there for the last four-ish years.

started his band, rabid porcupine, right after moving to miami. they’re a punk band, popular among the subculture and virtually unknown to everyone else. parker is the lead vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, overall face of the band but don’t get it twisted his whole band is important to him.

he went to school to be an auto mechanic while living in seattle, and so that’s actually his day job. his parents have threatened to cut him off many times and though they haven’t done it, parker has sorta cut himself off and chosen to be self-sufficient. he relies solely on the money he makes from his job and from playing in the band to support himself because he wants to be independent and he doesn’t want his family to be able to say that they gave him anything.

fun facts !

he hasn’t been home in like six / seven years but he still has the heaviest most posh british accent you will ever hear in your life + he knows he’s fulfilling a stereotype here but he doesn’t care he fuckin loves tea

his three older brothers are named sebastian, nikolai, & rian. he doesn’t get along with any of them but by far he has the worst relationship with rian, his identical twin who’s a few minutes older. unlike most stereotypical twins they’ve literally never been in sync and have never gotten along

most people think that he’s a jerk bc he’s incredibly standoffish and temperamental but he’s actually…not that bad? like he’s sure he’s permanently grumpy but he also holds the door open for people and says thank you to janitors and probably helps old ladies across the street and would literally rather die than be rude to wait staff in a restaurant

often struggles with verbalizing / explaining his emotions.

very observant and good at reading people

basically the walking talking rl embodiment of the jerk with a heart of gold trope.

knows he’s not the easiest person to befriend but if you are his friend, then he’s gonna be loyal af, the realest ride or die of all time

however, he tends to take the tough love route when he’s trying to help someone out. like just bc you’re his friend he’s not gonna coddle you bc you’re upset he’s gonna tell you how to how to deal with your problems & emotions

which is funny bc lmao he’s angry af 1000% of the time. will throw hands anytime anywhere

also took a lot of music lessons back in the day. he’s actually a very talented pianist who probably could’ve gone on to play professionally if he stuck with it but nah. he likes the guitar. you’ll probs never catch him playing the piano which is a shame bc he honestly is a beautiful pianist :/

he has a motorcycle which pretty much built it himself from scratch and it’s just…it’s literally his child ok he will freak if you so much as lay a hand on his motorcycle ok /f r e a k/ like don’t even look at it the wrong way

feminist af

parker is grumpy and angry and standoffish but look he really is and really tries to be a decent guy. anyone who knows him well would see that very clearly and honestly, that’s probably why they stick around even though he can be difficult.

[prkrc]

hey there demons! it me, sam! this is just parker’s same old intro edited with some updates and wanted / taken connections, so feel free to take a look if you’re interested! messaging me @ellvie is probably easiest!

DISCLAIMER: this is a sideblog so i might post stuff to the wrong acc sometimes js

so, this guy right here…riley ignatius parker-warrington…will throw hands if you call him anything other than parker. it’s what everyone calls him. you gotta be really special to call him riley and not immediately get decked for it. tbh most people probably think parker is his first name anyway so! moving on

parker was born to a wealthy family in a small but affluent village called alderley edge in cheshire, england. he’s the youngest of four sons so he has three older brothers.

his family, the parker-warringtons ( known more commonly as the warringtons ) are stupid rich. it hurts me to think about it askdh. they’re basically the british rockefellers. parker’s great x6 granddad started the family business back a couple centuries ago and nowadays they’ve got their hands in everything from business to architecture to real estate to education to oil…they own a lot of stuff. the warrington building in downtown london was completely made up just now is basically the rockefeller center of the uk. 

the family drama has been highly publicized in the uk & europe for longer than anyone can remember at this point, but not as much in america. 

anyway, parker spent his early years sheltered and pampered and homeschooled by tutors and nannies bc his parents never had time for him but it’s whatever he got over it really early on in life.

parker’s always been a huge troublemaker with a restless nature so his wealthy, uptight, lowkey shady af parents who are obsessed with the family’s image could never really deal with him and eventually decided to just ship him off to boarding schools all over europe, just one after the other after the other bc he kept getting kicked out lmao.

about the only thing he enjoyed about his childhood and schooling were his music lessons. he was taught to play piano, violin, and even the harp. other things like math and history and science didn’t come easily to him at all, but music? he was great at it and he’s always loved it. during his teen years while away at boarding school was when he first procured an electric guitar and learned to play. along with that, he also discovered punk music, aka the greatest thing in the entire fucking universe if you ask him. far as music goes, he’d found his calling in his early teenage years.

at school he was basically that rebellious kid in all the movies who wore doc martens with his prim & proper school uniform and carried around a pocket knife and cut class to go smoke while vandalizing school property and would absolutely fuck up some prissy pretty boy’s face just for looking at him the wrong way.

literally the only reason he actually graduated rather than flunking out was because his father was able to pull some strings aka bought his very last boarding school a whole new library wing. parker did actually consider running away a few times, but there was a part of him really reaaaaally deep down that actually enjoyed some aspects of school ( though he very strongly believes many education systems across the world need a serious overhaul and blahblahblah don’t ask him unless you want a lecture ). anyway, the moment he was done with school, he did finally skip out on…well, everything and everyone and ditched the country altogether, heading out first to seattle washington, then to los angeles, california, and then he finally settled in new york city when he was twenty years old, meaning that he’s lived in nyc for the last three years!

started his band, rabid porcupine, right after moving to the city. they’re a punk band, popular among the subculture and virtually unknown to everyone else. parker is the lead vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, overall face of the band but don’t get it twisted he could never go solo his whole band is important to him.

his parents have threatened to cut him off & disinherit him about a billion times but will probably never actually do it even though they see him as a huge disgrace to the family name. they call sometimes but he never picks up. if anybody asks he’d probably say that he hates his family but he honestly doesn’t. i don’t think he’s capable of hate lmao. he doesn’t like them and he’d rather stay away from them bc he and his family just do not get along, but at the end of the end of the day, v deep down he has like….a teeny tiny molecule of affection for them even though his family is 100% genuinely awful people

so, parker left nyc for a bit! even though it was only like a week ago in real time i wanna say he’s actually been gone for about two to three months maybe? idk but he went back to england in a rush, just kinda vanishing overnight as he tends to do.

he told no one where he was going or that he was even leaving at all. not even his roommate or…the person he’s very attached to, stas. he didn’t wanna tell anyone why he had to leave.

BUT WE’RE ALL GONNA FIND OUT RIGHT HERE AND NOW SURPRISE! his dad died. yikes. now they had a very…complicated relationship. parker hated his father and his father hated him. tbh his death wouldn’t have been enough for parker to go all the way back to england bc he fucking hates it there if it weren’t for the fact that his dad was pulling some fuck shit from the grave.

long story short, he left the family company to parker in his will. not the family, not his wife, not any of his other three sons. nope. the whole ass billion dollar company, every single subset, everything…was left to one riley ignatius parker-warrington.

naturally he was fucking furious. he hates the family business, he hates their company, he hates office work, and he hates knowing that his father only did it to spite him. he immediately attempted to get rid of the company. tried selling it, just straight up giving it away, even driving it into the ground lmao. just, anything to get it off of his hands and out of his responsibility but nothing has worked so far.

and that’s why he’s back in nyc! he wants a lawyer’s opinion so what i think parker is gonna do here? lowkey try to sneak into town, get some help from a lawyer he trusts and then leave without anyone else noticing or knowing that he was in town at all because he absolutely does not want to be here and he especially doesn’t wanna show his face. too bad for him!

lemme…stop? and just give you a few quick facts bc this is getting super long who’s even still reading this?

looks like he could kill you and could actually kill you

he hasn’t been home in like five years but he still has the heaviest most posh british accent you will ever hear in your life + he knows he’s fulfilling a stereotype here but he doesn’t care he fuckin loves tea

his three older brothers are named sebastian, nikolai, & rian. he doesn’t get along with any of them but he and rian he by far has the worst relationship with rian, his identical twin who’s a few minutes older. unlike most stereotypical twins they’ve literally never been in sync, have never gotten along and have probably beaten each other up before.

his family is big on modern day arranged marriages but you can miss parker with that bullshit he will date whoever he wants

that being said i think he’s probably…straight? idk tho & like who’s really straight anymore honestly

most people think that he’s a jerk bc he’s incredibly standoffish and temperamental but he’s actually…not that bad? like he’s sure he’s permanently grumpy but he also holds the door open for people and says thank you to janitors and probably helps old ladies across the street and would literally rather die than be rude to wait staff in a restaurant

seemingly very passionate about everything always openly expresses his emotions. he doesn’t…know how to hide them? he doesn’t know how to pretend like he doesn’t care?

adrenaline junkie, reckless af & likes to party but isn’t into hard drugs. he’s tried once or twice but just really isn’t a fan. he smokes & drinks & smokes weed sometimes but that’s it

very observant and good at reading people

basically the walking talking rl embodiment of the jerk with a heart of gold trope.

knows he’s not the easiest person to befriend but if you are his friend, then he’s gonna be loyal af, the realest ride or die of all time

however, he tends to take the tough love route when he’s trying to help someone out. like just bc you’re his friend he’s not gonna coddle you bc you’re upset he’s gonna tell you how to how to deal with your problems & emotions

which is funny bc lmao he’s angry af 1000% of the time. will throw hands anytime anywhere

so to the surprise as nobody he took up boxing as a kid and to this day it’s the only sport he cares about at all. he still boxes once or twice a week as a hobby & it’s probs pretty good for him tbh

also took a lot of music lessons back in the day. he’s actually a very talented pianist who probably could’ve gone on to play professionally if he stuck with it but nah. he likes the guitar. you’ll probs never catch him playing the piano which is a shame bc he honestly is a beautiful pianist :/

worked as an auto mechanic before he committed to his band full time but highkey misses it sometimes. he still likes cars & absolutely loves motorcycles, will talk about them all day with you if you want.

he has a motorcycle which pretty much built it himself from scratch and it’s just…it’s literally his child ok he will freak if you so much as lay a hand on his motorcycle ok /f r e a k/ like don’t even look at it the wrong way

feminist af

parker is grumpy and angry and standoffish but look he really is and really tries to be a decent guy. anyone who knows him well would see that very clearly and honestly, that’s probably why they stick around even though he can be difficult.

CONNECTIONS

family

future step sibling - genesis iver

maternal cousin, don’t get along - open.

paternal cousin, basically the only family member he likes - ingrid larson

romantic

ex girlfriend / highkey in love - anastasia sangster

ex on good terms - open.

ex on bad terms - open.

former toxic on / off relationship - open.

fwb - maia kauri.

former fwb - open.

platonic

best friend / ride or die - mason grey

roommate - open. please check the main for info on this wc!

close friends - reese monroe, kennedy drakos, isla thompson, open to more.

friends -  warren daily, marnie almeida, sullivan ramsey, alexandra blakely, cameron jones, open to more.

unlikely friends - wren daily, open to more.

frenemies - rosalind cox, jake carver, open to more.

attempted good influence - logan van kamp

workout buddy - willow sparks

negative

enemies - lukas donovan, open to several. parker is a goblin so he could’ve pissed someone off for many reasons

ex friends - jay weston, open to more.

doesn’t like / trust - lex sinclair

since this is officially a novel i think it’s time for me to sTOP LMAO. i have no specific wc in mind but i’d love to plot so please feel free to message me if you’re interested! as always i’m super excited to plot and write with everyone!

[prkrearchive]

hey there demons! it me, sam ( she / her, 21, est timezone ) who also writes elvie the spooky nerd and i’m super excited to bring in an old fave muse of mine! i’ve had this IDIOT forever, but i’ve tried to revamp him a little to fit this lovely rp & i’ve given him a new fc! anyway, details are under the cut, so feel free to check those out & then message me @elvvce if you’d like to plot!

DISCLAIMER: this is a sideblog so i might post stuff to the wrong acc sometimes js

so, this guy right here…riley ignatius parker-warrington…will throw hands if you call him anything other than parker. it’s what everyone calls him. you gotta be really special to call him riley and not immediately get decked for it. tbh most people probably think parker is his first name anyway so! moving on

parker was born to a wealthy family in a small but affluent village called alderley edge in cheshire, england. he’s the youngest of four sons so he has three older brothers.

his family, the parker-warringtons ( known more commonly as the warringtons ) are stupid rich. it hurts me to think about it askdh. they’re basically the british rockefellers. parker’s great x6 granddad started the family business back a couple centuries ago and nowadays they’ve got their hands in everything from business to architecture to real estate to education to oil...they own a lot of stuff. the warrington building in downtown london was completely made up just now is basically the rockefeller center of the uk. 

the family drama has been highly publicized in the uk & europe for longer than anyone can remember at this point, but not as much in america. 

anyway, parker spent his early years sheltered and pampered and homeschooled by tutors and nannies bc his parents never had time for him but it’s whatever he got over it really early on in life.

parker’s always been a huge troublemaker with a restless nature so his wealthy, uptight, lowkey shady af parents who are obsessed with the family’s image could never really deal with him and eventually decided to just ship him off to boarding schools all over europe, just one after the other after the other bc he kept getting kicked out lmao.

about the only thing he enjoyed about his childhood and schooling were his music lessons. he was taught to play piano, violin, and even the harp. other things like math and history and science didn’t come easily to him at all, but music? he was great at it and he’s always loved it. during his teen years while away at boarding school was when he first procured an electric guitar and learned to play. along with that, he also discovered punk music, aka the greatest thing in the entire fucking universe if you ask him. far as music goes, he’d found his calling in his early teenage years.

at school he was basically that rebellious kid in all the movies who wore doc martens with his prim & proper school uniform and carried around a pocket knife and cut class to go smoke while vandalizing school property and would absolutely fuck up some prissy pretty boy’s face just for looking at him the wrong way.

literally the only reason he actually graduated rather than flunking out was because his father was able to pull some strings aka bought his very last boarding school a whole new library wing. parker did actually consider running away a few times, but there was a part of him really reaaaaally deep down that actually enjoyed some aspects of school ( though he very strongly believes many education systems across the world need a serious overhaul and blahblahblah don’t ask him unless you want a lecture ). anyway, the moment he was done with school, he did finally skip out on…well, everything and everyone and ditched the country altogether, heading out first to seattle washington, then to los angeles, california, and then he finally settled in new york city when he was twenty years old, meaning that he’s lived in nyc for the last three years!

started his band, rabid porcupine, right after moving to the city. they’re a punk band, popular among the subculture and virtually unknown to everyone else. parker is the lead vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, overall face of the band but don’t get it twisted he could never go solo his whole band is important to him.

his parents have threatened to cut him off & disinherit him about a billion times but will probably never actually do it even though they see him as a huge disgrace to the family name. they call sometimes but he never picks up. if anybody asks he’d probably say that he hates his family but he honestly doesn’t. i don’t think he’s capable of hate lmao. he doesn’t like them and he’d rather stay away from them bc he and his family just do not get along, but at the end of the end of the day, v deep down he has like….a teeny tiny molecule of affection for them even though his family is 100% genuinely awful people

lemme...stop? and just give you a few quick facts bc this is getting super long who’s even still reading this?

looks like he could kill you and could actually kill you

he hasn’t been home in like five years but he still has the heaviest most posh british accent you will ever hear in your life + he knows he’s fulfilling a stereotype here but he doesn’t care he fuckin loves tea

his three older brothers are named sebastian, nikolai, & rian. he doesn’t get along with any of them but he and rian he by far has the worst relationship with rian, his identical twin who’s a few minutes older. unlike most stereotypical twins they’ve literally never been in sync, have never gotten along and have probably beaten each other up before.

his family is big on modern day arranged marriages but you can miss parker with that bullshit he will date whoever he wants

that being said i think he’s probably...straight? idk tho & like who’s really straight anymore honestly

most people think that he’s a jerk bc he’s incredibly standoffish and temperamental but he’s actually...not that bad? like he’s sure he’s permanently grumpy but he also holds the door open for people and says thank you to janitors and probably helps old ladies across the street and would literally rather die than be rude to wait staff in a restaurant

seemingly very passionate about everything always openly expresses his emotions. he doesn’t...know how to hide them? he doesn’t know how to pretend like he doesn’t care?

adrenaline junkie, reckless af & likes to party but isn’t into hard drugs. he’s tried once or twice but just really isn’t a fan. he smokes & drinks & smokes weed sometimes but that’s it

very observant and good at reading people

basically the walking talking rl embodiment of the jerk with a heart of gold trope.

knows he’s not the easiest person to befriend but if you are his friend, then he’s gonna be loyal af, the realest ride or die of all time

however, he tends to take the tough love route when he’s trying to help someone out. like just bc you’re his friend he’s not gonna coddle you bc you’re upset he’s gonna tell you how to how to deal with your problems & emotions

which is funny bc lmao he’s angry af 1000% of the time. will throw hands anytime anywhere

so to the surprise as nobody he took up boxing as a kid and to this day it’s the only sport he cares about at all. he still boxes once or twice a week as a hobby & it’s probs pretty good for him tbh

also took a lot of music lessons back in the day. he’s actually a very talented pianist who probably could’ve gone on to play professionally if he stuck with it but nah. he likes the guitar. you’ll probs never catch him playing the piano which is a shame bc he honestly is a beautiful pianist :/

worked as an auto mechanic before he committed to his band full time but highkey misses it sometimes. he still likes cars & absolutely loves motorcycles, will talk about them all day with you if you want.

he has a motorcycle which pretty much built it himself from scratch and it’s just…it’s literally his child ok he will freak if you so much as lay a hand on his motorcycle ok /f r e a k/ like don’t even look at it the wrong way

feminist af

parker is grumpy and angry and standoffish but look he really is and really tries to be a decent guy. anyone who knows him well would see that very clearly and honestly, that’s probably why they stick around even though he can be difficult.

since this is officially a novel i think it’s time for me to sTOP LMAO. i have no specific wc in mind but i’d love to plot so please feel free to message me if you’re interested! as always i’m super excited to plot and write with everyone!

[kinixuki]

Answers for the “Questions about creating your ocs” thing, as a read more because it got REALLY LONG. There’s some AU rambling too because why not. The first time a character gets mentioned their name should be a link to their tumblr tag, just to keep track of who’s who because there’s a lot of them :v

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

Kal – Kal came from a dream I had, he was an angry guy with muscles and 0 chill (this never really changed), I think the first conscious thing I did myself was trying to make a small backstory for the dream because I felt pretty strongly about it. I tried to get the look down at the same time but my drawing skills were terrible at that time, so the backstory got more attention. And then it turned into Fisher along with some other dreams I had!

Umbrella – Umbrella is originally from a dream as well, a different one but it had Kal in it too, so it tried to fit it into the story.

Shetla – she happened when I started writing shamans (which had no plan at all at first), I needed someone who would talk with Kwiri so I made her

Oqooto – Oqooto was born as random fish kid for a small comic, so they got a bit of backstory and appearance for the comic. I liked what came out of it and kept thinking about them :>

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Moru – I want to say Ishke, but other than trying to not have them look too similar not really. Maybe Yixi the bird, Moru used to have a hood with a nest, now she has falconry equipment.

3. How did you choose their name? 

Kal – playing with random letters, after he was nameless for a year or two. I think I first wrote it down into a German textbook when I was bored during a class :v His name is also one of the Czech words for mud, which I didn’t realize for a while, but it fits sort of.

Umbrella – in the dream he came from he was basically a ghost that came out of an umbrella, so he got to keep it, both as an object and as a name, because it sounded silly and he’s weird. It’s more of a nickname in the actual story, he so old that no one remembers his name and telling people would spoil the fun for him, and because he always carries the umbrella with him it’s how a lot of people refer to him.

Teeku – playing with random letters again. I think his name just popped into my head when I was writing and was like “hey, this shaman guy needs a name”. I wish this happened more often, I’m terrible with making names :l

Bronze – I had hard time understanding how naming characters with actual words one can understand works, so I tried it myself with Bronze. I don’t remember why I picked that anymore, but it had something to do with him being Fisher and Narya being gold in my head.

Oqooto – I think I saw something close to that in random word generator? It looked super weird, but also felt like an instant fit after like a year of not knowing what name I want.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? 

Oqooto – it’s mostly based on the comic idea I had – a kid living in marshes that goes fishing, then I expanded from that. It’s technically part of Ishke’s world, but I haven’t really connected those two yet. There’s a lot of spirits in that world though, so after a bit Oqooto turned into something that’s closer to a shaman/medium than just a fish kid.

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

Narya – for a long time there wasn‘t, other than me thinking it’s nice, but now it’s an ethnicity thing along with the ashy skin color. I’ve been playing with the idea of that being the sign of a pureblood Fisher, but it makes some story mess with how easily they would be identifiable in the city. So it might be more general group of people, but still with them being known for their Fishers being crazy good. Bronze is another of those people, but not really directly related to Narya, despite the appearance. Most of them live in the forests outside of the city.

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

Kwiri – ummmm yes a bit…. I started writing his story as an angsty teen with zero friends, and having a character dealing with similar problems felt nice because hey, finally a friend. It wasn’t really a conscious thing like “it’s me, but in another world”, just a character I wanted to understand and write well. After a while of writing I was probably more based off him than the other way around to be honest. For some reason Kwiri is also pretty close to how I look irl though, which wasn’t intentional at all xD

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 

Moru – I wanted her and Ishke to have fun together, so they’re both kinda rebellious, but Moru is still there to explain all the human and social stuff to Ishke. She doesn’t understand much either, but almost anything is better at it than Ishke. And she gets to learn about spirits/forest from him!

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

Kal – other than waiting few years for a name he’s tricky to draw for me, first he was the muscle guy when I didn’t know how to draw muscles at all, now it’s drawing him properly during fights and all the cool action scenes. He’s surprisingly easy to write to though.

Umbrella –having him not turn the entire plot upside down. I changed the entire thing at least three times because of him, he’s always been one of the major characters but having him fit into the story in a way that worked well was hard. He’s hard to write as well, it’s easy to get carried away and turn him into the carefully planning villain stereotype because most of his role in the story is watching from behind the scenes, but he’s supposed to be super chaotic. Well thought out plans are literally the last thing he would do.

Moru – I am. Really bad. With female characters. Guys? Cool. Nbs? Super cool. Girls??? Seriously I made her to have a girl character I would be comfortable with, it’s still not 100% it and I still don’t know what to do with her, so probably that. She needed over 5 years for a name too.

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Shamans – I wrote down a short story about how some late story events turned out differently and keep thinking about a lot of what ifs. Then I have a lot of things from when Teeku was younger figured out, some of them are important, some of them are just fun to think about, most of them don’t get enough space in the actual story though.

Then there’s several AUs, including one where Teeku is a grumpy farmer with an old smelly tractor and a straw hat. Kirta hates him there because of the hat, he’s a rich farm guy and has been looking for The Perfect Straw Hat™ for months. When he finally saw it across the street and fell in love, Teeku came and bought the first straw hat he saw, which was this one. There’s also a modern AU where Teeku owns a tearoom and his visitors are my and Sari’s characters from the other stories. There’s a lot of fun stuff happening there and it has quite a bit of stuff thought out, I wanted to draw some of it during the summer but didn’t get to it D:

Bronze – I have a ton of stuff from when Bronze was younger and didn’t live in the city, but that’s deep in the spoiler territory. In the tearoom AU he lives in Umbrella’s flat and works in his sushi restaurant, but kind of wishes he didn’t, especially when Umbrella (who despite owning the flat doesn’t really live there) decides to visit, eat every single thing in the fridge and then talk about all sorts of vaguely illegal stuff Bronze doesn’t really want to hear about before leaving again.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

Isidor (the grandmaster of the Order who has no tag atm) – he’s elegant as heck, and his behavior is kinda human but also not really, he’s young for what he is but he doesn’t age/die naturally and is already older than normal humans get, so he’s pretty detached.

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

Siva – okay so. At one point a friend asked what kind of food they eat in the Fisher universe. Part of the reply was that they also probably have some of the food we have here, like schnitzel. And the friend asked something like “so there’s gonna be someone coming to Siva and asking ‘Hey Siva, do you want some more schnitzel?’”. It’s Siva’s fave food now, because he’s a super srs person and this totally doesn’t sound super silly.

ALSO THE TEAROOM AU, Siva is a head doctor of a local hospital and Narya is a student with training there and Siva overseeing it. They don’t really like each other, it’s the same as the canon story. They both visit Teeku’s tearoom though, Narya because he either has a part time job there few days a month or just uses that as a study place, and Siva because he’s a tea connoisseur and Teeku’s tearoom is the best tearoom in the city when it comes to tea quality, but there aren’t many visitors because Teeku is super grumpy.

So Narya and Siva sometimes meet there. Siva comes in a pretty bad mood, because “this one student was supposed to do all this work at night and he didn’t and just kept talking back, I need some good tea to drink”. 5 mins later, Narya comes late for his shift, because “this one idiot doctor wanted me to do all this stuff at night, can you even believe it what a jerk, I didn’t even sleep”, and he gets to make Siva’s tea without knowing who is it for and then he brings it to him and they’re both like “YOUUUU”

Minghe – the main idea of his story is that he got stuck with exactly that one person he can’t stand at all (Sheon) and is forced to cooperate. It’s the sad kind of funny.

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Siva – @sariannearies saying bad things about him and wishing terrible things to happen to him >:

Minghe – the fact that I still don’t have a single colored artwork with him except one speedpaint. He’s one of my faves D:

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

Kwiri – I’ve been rewriting his story for years and deleting thing I didn’t like, so not really?

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Kal – he really really REALLY hates Siva, the doctor. It’s mutual, but Siva is way better at hiding it, though he sometimes “accidentally” forgets to give Kal painkillers and so on. Sometimes Kal regrets that he wasn’t successful with what he tried to do at the end of Roommates.

Bronze – he’s super obsessed with being independent, but because of that he ended up as the opposite and it took him forever to realize. With no real way out \o/

Moru – she likes birds. That was unexpected, right?

[asagimeta]

Does it amuse anyone else how easily the original four (teenagers) from Teen Wolf fit into the Core Four roles in Riverdale...? I mean...

Scott/Archie:

Middle-class with a single parent who's always trying to make ends meet, playing a very physical sport (football/lacrosse) as a key charector trait, The Nice Guy who always has good intentions even if they don't play out the best way, is pretty naive and not always the most aware of what's going on around him but tries to keep up with it anyway, best freinds with The Sarcastic Edgelord, instantly fell in love with The New Girl who's father is into some really shady business and kind of can't stand him, also The New Girl's family is a threat to who he is (be it biologically or circumstantially) and he gets caught between wanting to be with her and wanting to be, you know, alive (I won't believe for a second that Hiram wouldn't casually kill off one of Veronica's boyfreinds I mean...) has a connection to the FBI, also does alot of shirtless running and fell assbackwards into the main plot of season one because he was sort of ... there... and now he's stuck with the fallout, I Never Wanted Any Of This I Just Wanted To Be A Normal Highscooler Why Do People Keep Dieing!?

Stiles/Jughead:

Also middle-class raised by a single father who's involved with the law and isn't around *alot* so learned from an early age to take life into his own hands, best freinds with The Nice Guy and is either instigating trouble or following well-intentioned-but-woefully-bad-at-planning Nice Guy into trouble, they're kind of a packaged deal, he's The Sarcastic Edgelord, (the difference being that Jughead is more normal trying to be edgy and Stiles is more edgy trying to be normal but the shoe still fits) Can't keep his mouth shut and would literally physically die if he ever missed an opportunity to make a sarcastic comment, Detective In Training, Must Get To The Bottom Of Everything At Own Expense, can't leave well enough alone, Attracted To Danger, always has to be eating or doing *something* with his mouth, the kind of tragic past that Lifetime movie writers are already trying to buy from him, is often labeled The Weird One and knows a little bit about virtually everything but always wants to know more, first crush- who he always thought was unobtainable- is, on the outside, his polar opposite, but on the inside, actually more like a missing peice, Chaotic Good, does /NOT/ mind breaking the law if it's for the right reasons, would sooner die than let anyone else tell him what to do, Angst Magnet, I Get Uncomfortable If There Hasn't Been A Life-Threatening Crisis Recently

Allison/Veronica:

The New Girl, just moved from a big city to a small town, instantly falls for way-too-buff-for-his-age Nice Guy despite her family's objections, starts out I'll Do What I Want and falls into The Family Business, will probably in some way change The Family Business (in Veronica's case; Allison already did) Sweet On The Outside But Could Still Murder You, very wealthy, comes from blood money, toes the lines between what's morally acceptable by her code and what's expected of her from her family, BFFs forever and ever with Cheerleader Fodder, has a Creepy Guy harrassing her who was a lownote villain of season two, really really wants her boyfreind and her dad to get along with eachother and is the single reason for living in regards to both of them (The Nice Guy worships the ground she walks on and The Overprotective Shady Father would probably buy a small country just so he could make her an *actual* princess) This Crap Didn't Happen In My Old Town But I'm Kind Of Thriving In It???

Lydia/Betty:

Comes from a wealthy family (though not as wealthy as The New Girl's by far) and has all of the teenage girl stereotypes that would make you think she's Homecoming Queen but that's really surface level and if you peel back even a tiny layer of skin there's like... a never ending pit of darkness what the hell???????? (Thus- Cheerleader Fodder) Had romantic entanglements with both The Nice Guy and The Sarcastic Edgelord; has been the object of aforementioned Edgelord's affection for way longer than she realizes, everyone thought she and The New Girl would be enemies but they're actually besties for life, mom is highkey sketchy despite not having any solid reasons to fall back on quite yet, family has secrets that she should probably know for her own mental well-being but far be it from anyone to tell her before things escalate, all she needed was one little incident for That Dark Crap to arise and now she can't get rid of it (the bite for Lydia, the hot tub for Betty) Is extremely intellegent and actually really sweet but make no mistake if you mess with her freinds she WILL become your worst nightmare and that's probably literally, I Just Wanted To Get Into A Good College But Now I'm Probably Gonna Have To Stab A Dude

Derek is even like the anti-Cheryl in a way, they're both oddly similar but their alignments are polar opposites (neutral-good/chaotic good and chaotic neutral/neutral evil), but for the hell of it...:

Extremely rich, come from old money, one of /Those/ families that's been in the town since the start of it and is kind of known by everyone there, arsonist burned their house down when they were 17 (the difference here is that for Derek it was a tragedy, for Cheryl it was a task) (I know that was a terrible joke), sexually assaulted at age 17, Attitude Issues (the difference being that Derek presents himself as broody, grumpy, and quick to irritate, wile Cheryl presents herself cheerfully but with a very obvious ego and selfishness), Family has some pretty literal skeletons in the closet, homicidal relative who kicked off the events of the entire series (Peter killing Laura, Cheryl's dad killing Jason), The Popular Kid in highschool (atleast, Visionary leads us to believe that Derek was relatively popular), The death of their sibling is what starts the entire series, the unwilling fifth member of the Core Four- making it more of a Fab Five- who kind of doesn't want to be there but also kind of does and is more there for plot/circumstances/marketing than because they're "freinds" with the Core Four (although they kind of want to be they just won't say it out loud), Does Not Care About Society's "Moral Expectations", Has a very noticeable lean on fashion that they wear pretty much constantly for atleast the first two seasons (Red for Cheryl, leather jackets for Derek), has a heart despite acting out all the time, I'm Hanging Around You Losers For Plot And Totally NOT Because I'm Lonely And Insecure And Need Some Freinds

I'm really tempted to make a Teen Wolf Riverdale AU except with adults but also that seems like alot of work... though from a charector perspective you wouldn't know it

[tumblunni]

AWW C’MON FFXIV

one of the biggest barriers to me getting back into it is just how SLOW the beginning is when you don’t have any friends to help you out like it legit took me a whole week of constant grinding just to reach level 15! FIFTEEN! IUts really fuckin slow even by usual mmo standards! and like.. all that slow is supplimented by huge amounts of quests and story and being required to do that main story in order to access goddamn ANYTHING, such as (for example) the additional hairstyle customization options you get at level 15 which I KINDA GRINDED SIX DAYS FOR, ONLY TO FIND OUT I NEEDED TO FINISH 8 MAIN STORYLINE QUESTS FIRST.

Like normally i would be HAPPY for an MMO that has loads of well made story scenes and ties progression more to quests than to grinding. But its just.. so unappealing to me?? Its That One Style Of Storytelling That Turns Me Off Immediately. I fuckin hate pretentious fairytale stylings. like not even when its told in the nostalgic writing style of a kids’s story or has a fairytale art aesthetic, those are some of my FAVOURITE THINGS. Nah when its the nostalgic writing style of fuckin specifically shakespeare and the only aesthetic is fuckin tolkein AGAIN. Like its really fuckin noticeable that the entire FF series has a bazillion original species in every other game but as soon as they made an mmo its Now Only Elves And Dwarves And Giants. And like.. the one anime addition of catgirls, and also making orcs/demons fuckin boring bishounen people with ‘all men are dragony and all women are 12 year old lolis with hair decorations’ as a fuckin species trait.o r I guess maybe the roegadyn are both orcs and giants combined and the au’ra got all of the leftover terrible traits..? And that’s 80 times more obnoxious when everyone talks like YE OLDE FUCKIN LITERATURE CLASSE AYE MY BOY YONDER DAWN DOTH BREAK OVER BIGASS FUCKOFF MOUNTAIN, HERE TAKE A STICK AND KILL 5 SLIMES like they literally fuckin sub ‘nightsoil’ for ‘shit’. this is an actual thing that someone thought would sound clever and fantasy-ish, instead of like an internet parody... And as far as I know the japanese version doesn’t even do this?? And neither did japanese FF12?? I FEEL SO LIED TO! Like these two worlds are still the most simultaneously cliche and overdeveloped ever, but i would at least enjoy my experience marginally more if the wall of text didnt stretch out every word to its maximum syllable potential..

BUT YKNOW DESPITE THAT DESPITE THAT BEING MY PROBLEM I AM NOW SAD AT FFXIV MAKING EXACTLY THE FIX FOR ME

They added a REALLY interesting and Dear God Relief feature where you can literally buy your way to the start of the latest expansion, story-wise. Which is a really great idea tbh, it kinda sucks to see ‘level requirement 80 must have beaten main story’ on this entire separate thing that you just bought. Kid me was dumb and didnt read all the conditions on old FFXI stuff... And I mean, anyone who complains about this being pay to win is being a dumbass, since all it does is promote you to the base level required for that storyline. Like the maximum here is level 60 with the equivelant job quests finished, so like.. there’s at least One Thing that makes you less than horribly underprepared compared to everyone else, but you’re still just a newbie wearing big boy pants. You can never pay to win for any level anywhere near the cap, it’s just pay to skip the more boring beginner sections. And probably get your ass kicked after cos all u hav is base equipment and none of the optional sidequets content or learned experience from the actual story...

BUT STILL I’M MAD BECAUSE there’s no way to do this without skipping the story!! your 60 levels of beginner quests are flagged as complete and you can never even see what you missed unless you watch someone else’s lets play i guess

and I know I just said that the story is really cumbersome and slow and badly written and cliche and i have no investment in anything but like that’s only 99% true, I actually WAS interested in the job training plotlines! a smaller self-contained sidequest with a cast of mentor npcs and story directly tied to your combat strength, rather than having to mop up loads of way underlevelled quests arbitrarily just to unlock the ability to actually exceed that level. gahhh Also i have a soft spot for the thieves guild- umm i mean the ‘seamstresses’ (or what was the actual joke about it? i think that was the discworld version XD) Mostly because they don’t talk like overly fancy pricks but also dont have too much of an over the top fakey oliver twist poor person voice. have I mentioned how its double annoying playing this game as a brit and hearing EVERYONE as some american guy doing the most stereotypical accent? Its a japanese game, why did you even do this!! srsly, this and ff12 have so many of the same dub fail. Oh, but also i like the thieves guild cos their plot is actually somewhat interesting, with the secrecy and stuff, instead of just I Am Mentor Man I Am Good At Job But Probably Tsundere Or Something For Six Hours. Also nice that there’s a full cast of this piratey crew and you get to interact with bossman’s admin guys sometimes, and get a general sense that he’s the comedic bumbler that’s only kept alive by their competance. (I call it.. the Plumeria Principle..)

Oh and lol also even if i could skip the story bits I hated, i probably wouldnt cos this thing is so fuckin Lore that i’d be completely lost... T_T But aaaa its tempting!! Cos I picked a bad starting town that had a plot and mentor npc that I didnt really care for, and now i really wanna switch to (weirdly enough) the one for gridania the land of the most boring elves and none of the job classes I want to use. She was just a really cool character! I can’t remember the pirate town equivelant tho, I just think that was my fave town aesthetic and fave jobs and stuff but the npcs were boring. I want elf mom!!! But seriously after fuckin SO MUCH WORK getting to level 20 before i decided i wanted to restart AAAA and then i wasted a bunch of my money on appearance change coupons to try and sate the restart temptation but then i realised No It Was Elf Mom I Miss so now i have a bunch of that cash shop content on that character and its impossible to transfer or somethin?? i couldnt even figure out how to send money between your own characters, which sucks cos some really nice guy gave me 30000 gold for no reason when i first started up the game and i legit DID NOT KNOW HOW TO USE CHAT YET so i was like running after him all WAAAAIT LET ME FIND THE KEYBOARD TO SAY THANKS xD But then i was just using that character to check out some of the other intro towns, it wasnt my main so i never used the money :(

so yeah anyway now I’m stuck here grumpy and debating whether i should buy this aaaaa and i cant even remember the name of the clearly-a-thief-but-dont-call-it-that class so i can pick the right thing to buy... And also i dont know if this only skips job training quests and not main story quests? or if there’s any way to recap main story quests at least? so it might not be as bad as I think. And maybe i could just pick whatever class I hate most to get all the exp in, and then i can have the level requirement to use my damn expansion but still go back and restart another job questline. and it’d probably be easier lol with all the boosts of having some other job high levelled! wonder if there’s a job with a terrible plotline that jus coincidentally lines up as a great thief supporter...?