#also i just get anxious over pretty much everything ever so like that's fun lol

[that-was-anticlimactic]

Are you cold lol

hi anon!!!

yes!!! i am!!!

the lake effect is probably one of my least favorite things ever </3 i hate snow i hate ice i hate driving in snow and ice bestie it is so cold

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

(⭐fanfic writers' commentary)

@plutosoda hi

Ooh, time to reread my old writing, huh? Always a fun trip, especially given I'd totally forgotten like half of it including that repetition trick you'd mentioned…

fair warning, i only got like 3 asks for this thing so I'm gonna commentate on pretty much the entire fic here. This post never ends.

Here's an entire director's commentary on All-Nighter! Enjoy!

"The covers were warm… But at least it'd get something done before passing out again."

I'm still fond of this intro. I'm terrible with being succinct, but this is somewhere where my rambling writing style really works; this section is written from experience of many a 'stayed up too anxious now you can't sleep' nights, and someone who has read a lot of the techniques to fix that problem, then didn't (ADHD lol). That is in fact what my internal monologue tends to be like at night - a mix between recalling every single way you've ever learnt to pass out, worrying about what happens tomorrow, 'why is life like that. what did i do,' and just a pinch of 3am self loathing.

I never really thought of it until an AO3 commenter pointed it out, but it was a fairly natural way of worldbuilding/expositing/characterisation all in one go. Establish the premise of the fic, Robot only bothering to process things when it's on the brink of exhaustion, the way it's kinda obsessed with productivity and efficiency and self-improvement.

I'm proud of it!

Also I like to think Lady Luck only does the weird scheduling thing for Robot. She'd be the type of person to try and make the Dungeons a personalised hell for everybody.

“Hey, could I get a coffee, do you think? …I’ve been sleeping so badly down here.”

I'm quite happy with the intro to the next bit too. My goal going into most fanworks (still) is to emulate what drew me to the original story. In this case, that's Dicey's tone and dialogue, with a bit more direct focus on the characterisation of everyone. So this is sort of a meta plot device that signals all that to the reader. I love how efficient that is. also I just like throwbacks and references okay

"The canteen was a dense jumble of kichen counters…"

I could've been a little faster with this scene and Robot subsequently making the coffee. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I hallucinate some of the scenes in my head, and try to write down everything in that instead of just drawing a comic (cough that one unpublished Ninjago fic). I'm a sucker for describing scenery for days on end.

That said, I'm really glad I got the vibe of 'light-blue-grey' morning over to you in your fanart. It was exactly what I was imagining as I was writing this.

"Pre-ground. …But this was just evil."

I think I'm funny. Anxiety cube can put up with a lot, but terrible coffee isn't it.

"They taste horrible compared to freshly ground beans. It’s not worth the convenience."

haha. because you see. that's its heart's desire *gets turned into a dice*

"Pouring a generous portion for its new friend, Robot masked its complaints with a long sigh." "…But thanks to the innovations of modern day life-” An overhead swig downed half the mug."

A commenter pointed out that some of my lines have really good flow in them between actions and characterisation. I didn't notice that until then, but I'm inclined to agree. Some of these drive in the point really well.

"At least its fellow patron was enjoying themselves – not even flinching at the concoction and savouring the coffee raw. It was tempted to start a commentary on how dark roasts were overrated, but soon became a little more concerned about them drinking through the 100 centigrade burns. This place had quite the collection of creatures, it seemed."

I like to think Robot's a little snobby about the things it enjoys. I like to think Lady Luck tries to throw people off as much as possible.

"So, how’s the self-improvement going?" they started. "I only want top quality minions in my dungeons."

Very fun fact is that I was worried about spoiling the twist in this fic because of this line being so blatant, but I wanted to put it in anyway because it's a good character-establishing moment, and a good… re-interpretation of the line in another context? I love recontextualising canon in a slightly different way that still works for the characters in question. it's so fun

Anyways. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that because at least one reader totally missed this too so got hit with the full twist anyways. Isn't writing great?

"So, what’s keeping you up this late?” they asked. “Nightmares? A looming sense of regret and existential dread? Unfinished essays due tomorrow morning?"

essays due tomorrow morning. haha so true. i'm glad I don't take much coursework nowadays.

"You know, as useless as it looks, sleep’s rather important for you folks. It’s how you deal with all the terrible things that happen during the day, since your brain can just wipe the slate clean and try again. But funnily enough, it’s always the first thing that’s left behind whenever someone wants to better themself." "Life’s painful enough as it is. Why not change things up if your current routines aren’t working?" "Nobody ever plays the cards they’re dealt perfectly, dear… Time always slips you by when you’re not paying attention. And nobody ever knows what’s coming next. You’ve just got to learn when to raise and fold them." "Well, part of being human is never being a hundred-and-one percent efficient. If you folks still count yourself as that. I’d apologise but I remember you were quite nonchalant about your little transformation anyways."

One of the main points of this fic was that while Lady Luck is blatantly on the offensive and absolutely insulting Robot to its core, she's not technically… wrong?

It's not bad advice. Lady Luck, in-game, seems very perceptive of the various insecurities mortals go through. And I like to think she does start this conversation just for genuine fun, to pick someone apart. See if they bounce back against it or just crumble. It's just a bonus that the recipient finds it harder to refute her offers afterwards.

"It might!" it snapped back, getting them to at least try and contain their mockery under a silent, wavering smirk. "You know what? I think it will be, I can feel it!"

Robot sort of does both. It's definitely very very anxious. But it's stubborn. I really like that about its character: how there's a contrast between its organised and disorganised sides? How robots are usually associated with hard numbers and calculations, but Robot's mechanic is blackjack. also it's SO autism/adhd coded. listen. in this

I don't know if there's a trope to call either of these, but they're my favourite things about both characters, and they're surprisingly introspective for a game so short on story. (I will write more about that in another post. lol).

It's a bit indulgent in how long it goes on in some areas, but eh. It works for the fic's pacing.

"The figure leaned forward to highlight its obvious obliviousness…" "I thought you were supposed to be the overly organisational optimist."

I love alliteration. yippee!

"A gentle chuckle filled the air, restrained from its usual projecting echo. "You wound me, Robot. Games are always more fun when your players at least get the chance to try and fight back."

I like to think Lady Luck's main motivation is entertainment. Which mostly involves watching people suffer. But I think it's in the spirit of luck to have it so that someone's downfall was their choice. Determinism versus free will and whatever.

The chance that somebody could escape makes things spicier. And makes it sting all the more for all those that didn't. Hooray!!

Also given Lady Luck's usual loud persona, I planned (plan) on giving her quite a few more subtle but equally threatening moments in this series. It's a thing that wouldn't really work well in the actual game, but it does in a slower medium like writing, and I fucking love that trope.

"Statistically unlikely, but I’ll humour it," she commented to an invisible aside."

You should picture this scene as her directly staring at you through the fourth wall. Like in a sitcom.

"But it’s not so bad, being a minion… I’ve heard that’s about as stable as a job as you can get these days." "…though surprisingly she was not the worst boss it had had to deal with."

I always thought this line, used on Thief in-game, would've been an absolute killer on Robot. The job market is pretty fucking shit these days under capitalism and you would be lying if you said there aren't at least some parts of the Dungeons that seem better work-wise. Inclusivity, stable employment, accommodation.

Yeah, you have no freedom, but that's also the goal of capitalism up here as well. At least in Dicey it's ridculous and ironic. And you'd get to use your degree in maths/statistics/acounting etc to its full extent! Can you fucking imagine the paperwork for a game-show/dungeon hybrid business.

"But then again, I think you’re plenty used to the grind."

I believe this was an unintentional-turned-intentional coffee pun. Boooooo

"Funny how they think that’ll discourage anybody. …Folks hear that the house always wins and immediately think they’ll be the exception."

She would be the one to know that. This was intended as a followup to Robot's entire argument before. I'm very happy that at least one person picked up on that :D

"So whatever you pick, it'll be a decision from Robot alone, no matter what your mind or body drags you into afterward.”

I believe this was also supposed to be a callback, but the wording got changed slightly. I think it was the "It feels like my mind and body won’t stop working against me" bit.

"Normally, Robot would’ve stayed to socialise and make new friends, and in all likelihood, skipping breakfast would leave it starving later on in the day. But right now, it needed some time to itself: to think and recover and remember where it was going with this."

This was another callback (that actually made it into the story). Robot immediately making another bad decision after the first, with the exact same words echoing it coming.

"Just another day in the dungeons. It could handle this."

I wanted the ending to be very short and open-ended, in that it was up to you to interpret whether Robot took the offer or not, and when. But regardless I wanted it to be like a regular intro to an episode, but with the hint something definitely fucking changed that the audience can only speculate on.

…oof. 80 minutes on this essay. My poor neck. I think that's it for now, though.

Overall I'm really happy with this piece - hence why it's one of the few things I actually put online. It's three years old, and I could've fixed the flow in some bits (there's one part where I think Robot answers a different question than was asked).

But I achieved pretty much everything I wanted to say in this piece of fanwork, it pushed me to think about characterisation a lot and my writing and editing techniques. There's a lot of neat little things I put into it, and it really got me to grips with what I liked about my inspiration in the first place.

I think that's an exercise worth trying for every fan-work creator. Stretches you brain. Almost lets you re-experience what you loved about a thing years later. Points you towards your possible future diagnoses. It's a fun time!

[omarscurls]

Wilhelm finds the red shirt…

This was supposed to be about Wille finding his shirt in Simon’s room and just like being fluff in general

I’ve literally had this idea in my head since s2 premiered, and been writing since then lmao

It has taken me unbelievably long to write this short piece of fluffy nothingness

TWs: none really? Hints or signs of a panic attack and anxiety, August is mentioned, otherwise I don’t think there’s any

A/N look like this because my mind is weird and it’s fun to comment as I write

Idk what this is but enjoy! :)

Everything in Wille’s mind went blurry the second the cameras were turned off. He registers that the choir behind him has started to move, that the crowd watching him is whispering and not even hiding the looks they’re giving him, that the headmaster seems to be frozen where she’s sitting and that his mom, the queen, is walking towards him with determined steps and an unreadable face.

But he can also see that Boris is smiling at him proudly from where he’s sitting, that August who has stood up from his seat and is now talking to Nils while looking like he just swallowed a lemon, that Felice and Madison are both waving and smiling at him.

He finds comfort in all of these things, but it isn’t quite enough to stop his head from spinning and vision from going blurry. He once again realises his mom is trying to reach him and he starts feeling the panic rise in his chest and he desperately look’s around for a place to hide, run, anything, but everyone is coming closer and there’s so much noise and angry voices and people trying to reach him and he can’t quite see and…

There’s a hand in his. Simon’s hand, his mind helpfully tells him. Simon who is now desperately trying to pull him away from the chaos that is happening around them.

Wille doesn’t quite know how but they end up back in his room. He silently watches as Simon pulls the curtains shut and checks that the door is locked. Twice.

Then Simon turns to Wille. They stare at each other for just a second before they both go “Are you ok?”. Simon lets out a breathy laugh and says “yes, yes” while Wille pulls him close. “Are you ok?” Simon asks again, a bit muffled since his face is now hidden in the crook of Wille’s neck.

Wille thinks for a second. Because no, no he’s not ok. His heart is beating too fast and it still feels like he can’t get enough air into his lungs. But Simon is right here with him and having told everyone the truth doesn’t make him as anxious as it should. “Maybe, I think so” he finally responds.

Wille can feel Simon wrap his arms even tighter around him and he’s pretty sure Simon is smiling against his neck. He can feel his own heartbeat slow down little by little as he breathes in the smell of Simon’s hair.

“We are ok” Simon whispers to him, over and over again. Wille doesn’t know which one of them he is trying to convince, probably both. Either way, it helps.

Why tf are they at Wille’s? The whole point of this was for them to go to Simon’s, I’m getting carried away lol

“I love you” Wille whispers back a couple of minutes later, or maybe an hour, he doesn’t really know. It also doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he can somewhat breathe normally again and that Simon is still hugging him, gently rocking them back and forth.

“I love you too” Simon says, pulling away a little, so that he can look into Wille’s eyes. They both smile.

And then, finally, they kiss. Because after all, they’re just teenagers. Who are a little bit in love. And sometimes a little bit of casually making out is the best way to forget about the rest of the world.

They are rudely interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. It’s Wilhelm’s. He doesn’t want to answer it, he can’t, really, right now.

But he doesn’t have to because Simon slips his hand into Wille’s pocket and grabs his phone. Declines the call and turns it off. Wille doesn’t even get the chance to see who’s calling.

Is this the fluffiest mess if ever written? Maybe

“Do you want to sleep at mine tonight?” Simon asks him after giving the phone back to Wilhelm, now with a determined look on his face.

“Please” Wille answers immediately, without hesitation. He doesn’t really know how that’s supposed to work though, because there’s most likely someone outside of his door just waiting to grab him and take him to the castle, or to his mom, probably to talk, or something.

But somehow they manage to get out, with some help from Felice and Madison. Wilhelm decides to just not look behind him as they hurriedly walk towards the bus station. He focuses on the feeling of Simon’s hand in his and blurs out everything else.

Yes this is me getting through not having written anything for weeks bc I didn’t know how to get them out of there whoops lol

Simon’s mom hugs them both tightly as soon as they walk inside the door and once again Wilhelm feels like he can breathe a tiny bit more freely.

After greeting Linda they head off to Simon’s room, where they once again make sure the window is locked and the curtains shut.

Is that even the right way to say that lol

He looks around for a bit, touches stuff that has been added since he was there last. He and Simon talk, mostly nonsense, very obviously avoiding the fact that the entire world is probably looking for them right now. But it’s comfortable. Wille feels safer than he has in a long time.

The sit at the end of Simon’s bed. Simon’s fingers are running through Wille’s hair as he rests his head against Simon’s shoulder. For the first time since the the cameras were turned off, Wille can’t feel his pulse racing. Simon tells him as much: “ are you more ok now? It seems better” “I think I am” he answers. He realises that’s true.

There’s a faint thought that he should be worried about something but it’s in the back of his head and it doesn’t seem impossible right now. Not when Simon is right there, feeling so real. His fingers in Wille’s hair is the only thing that seems to make any sense in Wille’s head at the moment.

See what I did there? “All the people are fake… but I like you and that’s not fake…” Simon is real :,)

Simon let’s his hands wander, one stopping on the prince’s chest, right on his heart. “At least your heartbeat is ok again” he mumbles, as he gently scratches at Wille’s shirt in the same spot, seeming to need something to hold on to.

The let their hands wander, talk for a bit, share a couple of innocent kisses, both of them being too exhausted to make them lead to something else.

It’s when Simon’s head, that’s now resting against Wille’s shoulder, start to become heavier, and Wille muffles another yawn with the sleeve of his hoodie, he suggests they go to bed. Simon doesn’t even really know what time it is, or if anyone has tried to reach them, but agrees since they both seem exhausted enough to fall asleep sitting up against the wall.

As Simon leaves to get some stuff for Wille and to say goo night to his mom, Wille gets up from the bed too. He changes into the T-shirt Simon threw at him to wear as pyjamas, and looks around the room again.

Why tf is nothing like, happening lmao

Simon did clearly not make his bed this morning so Wille doesn’t think he’ll mind is he just sits down and rests his eyes for a little while.

Ooooo finally? Maybe

As he moves the pillows around just a bit he sees something red sticking out from underneath one of them. Weird. He pulls out the piece of fabric and is puzzled for a second before he realises. That’s his shirt. The one he thought he lost months ago. In Simon’s bed.

He’s about to start thinking about what that means when Simon comes back. He seems to be in the middle of a sentence when he realises what Wille is doing and as his eyes land on the shirt in Wille’s hands, he freezes completely.

“I-“ he starts. “I was going to give it back…” “I swear!” “I didn’t steal it it was just that…” “I- you- the headmaster-“ Simon’s brain doesn’t seem to be functioning properly.

Wille just giggles: “Hey, it’s ok, I don’t mind, like, at all”. That’s makes Simon unfreeze again and stumble right into Wille, trying to hide his embarrassment in the prince’s shirt.

Said Prince just wraps his arms around Simon, who is very much clinging to him but still refusing to show his face. “I just want to know how you got it” Wille ends up saying.

As they move into bed Simon tells Wille how he got his hands on the shirt and how he completely forgot to give it back.

They forget about it, start talking about other things, kiss a little, talk some more, while they cuddle up under the covers. It’s not until they’re in the dark, just about to fall asleep, bodies tangled together until they can’t really tell where Simon ends and Wille begins, that Wille whispers: “how come the shirt was in your bed though? Under you pillow?” He barely has time to finish the sentence before Simon slaps a hand over the prince’s mouth and groans, while hiding underneath the blanket.

They’ll be ok.

Thank you so much for reading!! Any thoughts on this/feedback is very much appreciated so please leave a comment :)))

[frannyzooey]

If you had any advice for someone new to posting fics, what would it be?

I am absolutely jaw dropped, crying on the floor in love with your writing, and it’s inspired me to start writing again. I’m sure you hear that all the time, lol.

But I’m so anxious about putting work out there, and the idea that it may not be liked, or even seen. Which, like, is hard because I know no one owes me anything! and there are so many incredible writers out there! I guess what I’m trying to say is - what is the best way to become a part of the community, and not the creeper breathing breath on the glass window looking into the party?

You’re genuinely so kind to all of your followers and readers, I would just love to pick your brain a little!

Thank you for everything you give to us. 🫶🏻

FIRST - get over here and tuck yourself under my arm ❤ feel the squeeze I am giving you, in both welcome and reassurance! ❤

This ask couldn't be better timed because I was literally just having a conversation with @astroboots today about how I feel like tumblr is a safe space for sharing my writing, but I am absolutely petrified about sharing it any other place. The thought of even talking about my writing out loud makes me want to curl up and hide my face, and even on this platform, I still get anxious sometimes. The Dinner, recently, was a good example of that - I was beyond nervous to post that one.

All this to say: you are not alone ❤

This fandom can be utterly terrifying because of the 1) sheer amount of talent but more so, 2) the sheer amount of content. It's being constantly created, even more with Pedro becoming bigger these days and it's so fucking intimidating even thinking about tossing your fic into the literal OCEAN that exists.

On one hand, an argument could be made that it's actually easier to post because of those reasons, but it's also legit anxiety producing in many, many ways.

The thing that I always say about writing is: find your people. Reach out to people you admire through reblogs, send them asks, pop into their DMs. Share and spread their work, their art, their gifs. Find one or two or ten that seem like they would vibe with you and connect! Because once you have your people in your corner, cheering you on, it becomes fun to post thinking about them reading it.

Instead of thinking of this place like the ocean, think of your curated corner like a little tide pool and your mutuals like little cheerleading starfishes. It's so much easier to share things when you know they will be accepted and supported by people, so start there! You're right in that no one owes you anything, but I am a HUGE supporter of not only writing for yourself, but writing for the seven (7) targeted people you love the most. The ones you know are going to scream in your DMs about it, the ones who helped you brainstorm, the ones who beta read and held you on their shoulders for a lap of victory after you hit post. THOSE people are who you post for (in addition to yourself.)

I (frequently) get pretty freaked out about the size of this fandom and get anxiety when it comes to the rapid upload of content - if you've ever seen me put on my "Out of Office", that's usually why...but thinking of this place as a condensed little bubble can really help ❤

That's exactly how I did it, and how I continue to do it! When I posted my first piece of writing EVER three years ago, I had 8 followers and one serious friend on here. ONE. But that ONE person gave me all the hype I needed to share, and even though my hands were shaking when I hit post, I was.....okay, because I knew they were there with open arms, ready to receive it. ❤

Second, we are ALL the creeper breathing on the glass, looking into the party - every single one of us. I can go on and on (and on and on, seriously, I have so many thoughts on this) about how this is a social media site and how that affects you psychologically for hours, but I don't want to bore you, lol. The best part about there being so many of us though is that...there are so many of us! You are bound to find your people. ❤

If you are scared, DM me. I would love nothing more than to cheer you on. This place has been such a safe haven for me, the only way I can even begin to pay that back is to pass it on.

OH - and EXCUSE YOU, I do not have people telling me that all the time! Holy shit?? I wish you could have been the soft ass look on my face when I got this ask, because that's just about the nicest thing someone has ever said to me, literally. I could kiss you on the mouth. Me? Inspiring you? I am BLUSHING.

Squeezing you EVEN TIGHTER AS I TALKED - do you feel the love, nonnie? 😍❤🥰 Congrats on beginning writing again - I am so FUCKING proud of you and WELCOME!!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

for the character bingo maybe the perfect crime trio? it's three characters so it's cool if you choose to do just one of them :)

Yes!!! I love them all so much :)

Ranpo:

They are sooooo cool looking: I mean, Ranpo does look pretty cool. It's a good look for him. :)

Everyone but me is wrong about them/They're deeper than they seem: Ok, so actually this isn't totally true since I know some people here really get him... but I've also seen some weird takes and it's a shame because Ranpo is an excellent character who is a lot more than "really smart" and "likes snacks and praise". In fact, I've been writing a post about how Ranpo has a cohesive and consistent character arc in the story that I think kind of gets overshadowed by the major events of the plot, but it's still there, and Ranpo has done a lot of developing over the course of the series. It's just that not as much obvious attention is drawn to it as, say, sskk. Ranpo isn't the Agency's strongest for nothing. He's more than just a silly little guy.

Not as deep as they seem: ...at the same time, he is absolutely just a silly little guy who really just wants to do silly little guy things like eat candy and tease Poe and solve brutal murders and be praised for it. Ranpo is a complex character with simple needs I think... which might be why he can be a bit difficult to characterize.

I like them enough to project my own issues onto them/I'm mentally ill about them: Untold Origins... okay. So, I don't think I'm like Ranpo necessarily. But god if untold origins didn't hit a certain way. I spent a lot of my childhood being built up as a gifted kid then torn down for not being smart enough, often by the same people within the same day. It was confusing. Am I smart or not? Do you like me, or not? I was also that annoying kid who would correct the teacher's mistakes in class... except I wasn't doing it to be a showoff. It was wrong, and it does no one any good to be taught something wrong when it can be fixed right away, yeah? Well, my teacher didn't like that. Ever been bullied by your teacher as an elementary school kid while having no idea what you did to have someone hate you this way? Not fun. Do not recommend. So Ranpo's story brought a lot of those feelings back. Ha. I also have a lot of thoughts about a kid who grew up in a sheltered environment, suddenly left with the grief from the loss of his parents and no support, lost in a world he does not understand that terrifies him, and the way he is given the means to build a life for himself in spite of it all (even if it is based off a lie). I can't wait to write more about Ranpo. I really do like him a lot and I don't talk about him nearly enough.

I want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: Not in the usual deranged way; I actually think Ranpo might like this tbh. He wouldn't have to walk lol.

Poe:

They are sooooo cool looking: Yeah. I have no idea why he dresses like that, but yeah.

Everyone but me is wrong about them: ...ooookay. So, maybe I'm just not looking in the right area. But, and this might be a bit surprising to hear given that I'm a fan of Chuuya, it's actually Poe's mischaracterization in fics that irritates me the most. He's not soft. He has anxiety. There's a difference (please don't write all socially anxious people as soft little beans, please...). Poe doesn't do things "just because", everything needs to be framed as an intentional challenge. He spent 6 years writing his vengeance. I know we all laugh at the "for some reason I can't say no to Ranpo" bit (who are you fooling man?), but like. He continues to rationalize his affection as traps and challenges. Poe isn't soft. He does still harbour some feelings of jealousy towards Ranpo - it's just that it's vastly outweighed by his (completely oblivious) fondness for him. He brings up how he feels he's "just being used" a few times by several people, but I've rarely seen this talked about. He's an easily startled goof but also more than capable of being very pushy when he thinks it's necessary - think of his placing blank pages in every room to try and get Mushitarou to write lmao. He's a drama queen, only just barely held back from full-blown theatre kid by his crippling anxiety. And he knows full well the value that lies in writing a memory (his softest moment is when he is in his element!). Poe is a complicated character in his own right, and while it is not explored nearly enough in canon - isn't that what fic is supposed to be for? I'd love more fics that explore him, and especially his conflicting feelings towards Ranpo, who he is very attached to and fond of (it's borderline a canon crush to me). He feels envious, but he wants to impress him, but he wants to beat him utterly, but he would do anything for him, he is his perfect partner in (solving) crime, etc., etc. Poe fears disappointing Ranpo and it's for a mess of reasons that are not just all "because he likes him", though that is, undeniably, a big part of it. It's implied he may even fear being replaced or seen as not very important to him, and, as is typical for Poe, he doesn't shy away and retreat - he immediately turns quite internally poisonous towards the "threat". Poe is full of strong, sometimes ugly, conflicting feelings that he rarely actually acts on, and I'd love to see these explored more, both in canon, and in fics. He's a silly guy too, but... you know.

Wasted potential (?): Well, I want to wait a bit before making any judgements here, but if Poe stays a comic relief character who only creates books for Ranpo to use, I'll be a little disappointed. His ability is so powerful. Unbelievably so. It also requires him to write, and with a Book being such a core part of the story, and authors tending to have strong influences on the plot (Odasaku, Natsume, arguably Yokomizo), I think it'd be really weird if Poe went nowhere.

They work better as part of a dynamic: Ranpoe my beloved <3 (I also love his kindness towards Mushitarou :') )

Mushitarou:

They're like a blorbo to me: I mean. You guys saw my deranged rambling about him already. You know I am not normal about him.

I'm mentally ill about them: You KNOW I am NOT NORMAL ABOUT HIM. I've written all my thoughts before. His story will never not make me emotional. I think he's one of the best written characters. I personally place him up there with Kyouka and Akutagawa for quality of writing and overall themes.

Why do they look like that: onceler looking dude...

They've never done anything wrong in their life: Well. He very much has done things wrong. But, much like Ango, circumstance and a lack of foreseeable alternatives pushed them into making a set of horrible choices that they will forever be haunted by. It's why I think they should hang out about it... maybe kiss...

[writteninlunarlight-years]

hi :D!!! was wondering if you were still doing matchups? if so, i would like to request a bg3 match up with any of the ladies :3 also i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to describe me or my tav, but its pretty much a self insert so i hope this is ok hehe THANKS AGAIN OK LOVE YOU BYE <3

gender: trans man

pronouns: he/they

sexuality: i honestly have no idea lol, i prefer woman by a longshot though!!!

appearance: i’m 5’8” ish (~173 cm) and about 200 pounds (~91 kilos), olive skin with a bit of facial hair/stubble. i have kinda built arms and legs and a nice loveable tummy. pre top surgery though so i am always in a binder and baggy shirt. i’m growing out my mullet atm so my hair is kind of a mess but! it’s dark brown and curly :) i have lots of tattoos and piercings! my clothing style is usually some giant graphic tee and work pants with some converse or something. if i’m actually trying though, i kind of dress like a grandpa hehe

mtbi: infp, enneagram is either 2 or 4, it changes every time i take it lol

personality: gemini sun virgo moon gemini rising (don’t really care for astrology tbh), initially i am very reserved and quiet, but not like cold or aloof or anything! im just extremely nervous and shy!! i have been described as intimidating but i dont see it at ALL so take that with a grain of salt i suppose. once i’ve opened up though, i really enjoy making others laugh so i will take every opportunity to do so, even if it makes me look like an idiot lol. i tend to miss a LOT of social cues, so i usually come across as very awkward and weird, but i’ve gotten pretty good at playing it off

likes: i LOVE everything about music!! i play over 5 instruments, i listen to every genre (yes even country), and i’ve been playing in either ensembles, orchestras, or bands since i was 11. i was even a music major once upon a time! outside of music, i like cats (my cats are my favorite lol but i don’t discriminate!), video games, and occasionally reading

dislikes: i have pretty bad sensory issues so i fucking HATE places like malls, grocery stores, large department stores, etc. i also don’t like a majority of social situations with people i don’t already know, i always feel so awkward and get anxious. this one really gets people, but i don’t like a lot of foods that are widely considered to be good. for example, i dislike mac and cheese, potatoes, ketchup, and most fruits. every time i tell someone this, they literally act like i just confessed to murder

extra fun fact: i am a giant nerd. like i cannot state it enough I AM A NERD! my friends use me like human google all the time, and most of the time i have the answer 😭 not trying to imply that i’m a genius or something, i just hear a fun fact or random piece of information and then never ever forget it (did you know that for a majority of the year, the closest planet to earth is not venus or mars. it’s mercury!!)

BG3 extra:

race: half wood elf

class: wild magic sorcerer

alignment: neutral good

Don't Worry—I still have yours!! I was perplexed when I saw your PFP twice, lol. Sorry for the long wait, but here is your Match!! Also, as a Midwestern/Southerner, I enjoy the genre of Country, lol. ( I, too, am a nerd; I am my family's personal Calculator, though, lol)

~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

Baldur's Gate 3

Shadowheart

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Shadowheart is one to keep to herself as well. She likes the mysterious quiet. However, she did not oppose the notion of you being the group's leader.

She sees your anxiety around new people as a hindrance and a diversion. While you are awkwardly talking to others, she can use this time to gather hidden information or send Astarion on a pickpocketing hunt.

Your tics and antics may have frustrated her initially, but as you all grew to know one another, she found them sweet and endearing.

Soon, whenever a passerby points out your flaw, she is the first and last to defend you. (Miss Ma'am always has to get the last word in)

Shadowheart worked hard to earn your trust, and you worked hard to earn hers. Soon, you two were inseparable, for good or bad.

Shadowheart took your courting very seriously and ensured everyone at camp knew you were hers. She is a princess, after all, and gets what she wants.

If you are having a tough day around people, Shadowheart will be there to help. She has no problem leading things whenever you need her to.

When you two fight enemies, it is like watching the ocean move. You two are constantly in sync, and your health never drops below 50.

When you two officially start dating and make it public to everyone, she enjoys holding hands and soft pecks on the cheek. She is still a private person, but no harm in making sure the world knows she loves you.

When you two part ways from the others after the final battle, Shadowheart and you take on a tavern of your own in Baldurs Gate. She runs the finances and shipments while you run the entertainment and bar.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

The grove had been successfully saved. However, not every person at your party was ecstatic that you had made this choice; however, you knew you had made the right choice. With your camp full of new and old faces, you smiled, knowing that this was what you were made for right then. Though saving everyone was great and all, the loud, drunken party happening was the last thing you cared to participate in. You make your rounds to your companions to tell them when you will pack up and head out; you spot Shadowheart pouring herself a glass of wine. As you finish speaking to Karlach, you stand before the princess of the night.

Shadowheart smiles at you, gently extending a glass to you before speaking, "I knew you weren't quite the party type. I am surprised you even allowed this to happen at our camp." You laugh gently, nodding along, taking a swig of the wine. Looking out on your camp, you may not be one for large gatherings, but this was wholesome for the journey ahead. You turned back to Shadowheart as she spoke again, "We could escape from here for a while, allow you time to have a real reprieve from an intense battle versus throwing yourself into more uncomfortable situations." She always knew when you grew discontent with situations and quickly altered your group's direction. Though you may be the leader, your love and compassion for Shadowheart soon made her your second in command, much to Lazel's displeasure.

You nodded briefly to Shadowheart as she gently grabbed your hand and led you to a rock face far from camp. Privacy was excellent, and it allowed your mind to run freely for once since you were tasked with killing the Goblins. As you lounged back, sipping on the wine, Shadowheart looked at you. A simple conversation between you two led to something more intent and kind through the night. That night, you two decided to flourish in your relationship and walk through life together. Once dawn approached you, Shadowheart sat in your lap, staring out into the horizon. You gently moved some hair from her face. You smiled gently, whispering, "Because of you, my world may now be complete; fight with me, Shadowheart, and let our hearts beat as one once we are free again."

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(You and Shadowheart had broken off from the group for the evening, taking a short stroll through Baldurs Gate. Thinking about what the future will have in store for you two as you approach the final battle)

Y/N: Princess, what if a life without Shar is genuinely not what you want. I do not want you to feel forced into a life of tavern-keeping with me.

Shadowheart: My goddess has already abandoned me since the trials. I am content now as long as I have you by my side, my love.

Y/N: When did you become so romantic? Weren't you always the brooding, icy-hearted mystery girl?

Shadowheart: That may have been me in the past, but as I have helped you through your trials, you have helped me, and I am grateful for that.

Y/N: (Smiles softly at the woman and leans in to kiss her)

Shadoheart: (places a hand on Y/N's lips, a large smirk evident on her face) However, since you seem to want to pick on me this evening, I could always return to being a brat.

Y/N: Oh, is that so? I am very sure I can handle it, my sweet. (Sweet kisses intensify)

[fairysylveon]

Favorite things/headcanons about jackothy and katarhys GO!!!

OH MAN it's so hard for me to put things into words but I'll try

jackothy

I headcanon a lot of codependency over the years honestly, jack is the only person who knows who tim really is, and tim is the only one allowed to see past jack's mask (both literal and metaphorical) on account of "being an extension of jack", so they're driven together despite how much tim hates jack. BUT I also headcanon that they love each other in weird and complicated ways, jack's is initially driven by narcissism but eventually he grows to like tim for his differences too, especially as someone who's not afraid to mouth off to him because it's kinda refreshing, and also the aforementioned codependency. and tim, well, he still hates jack, but all that time with him and only him creeps up on him and he grows these strange but undeniable feelings of undying loyalty and love. because he's lonely, he'd always been lonely, even his own mom didn't love him, and as fucked up as this thing is with jack, it's filling a hole that desperately needed filling, and he's taking what he can get even if he can't stand himself for it. and maybe he's relieved when jack dies because he has an out that isn't betraying jack, because before jack dies he does think about it, he thinks about killing jack in his sleep, thinks about not letting go when they're fighting and he's got his hand around jack's throat, but he just can't ever seem to go through with it because his entire identity is so intertwined with this man and he's his only real "friend", and that's so sad and frustrating for him but it's true, too. I just love tim with very complicated feelings of attachment/devotion/love to jack that he HATES but he just can't shake it because he's kind of pathetic and very lonely

other headcanons I like: attack dog tim, being the tip of jack's spear. whether or not he likes that changes based on what I'm in the mood for LOL. also they fist fight regularly because they piss each other off, and sometimes (often) it becomes erotic as it continues. (tim pretty much always wins, because he's stronger & has more experience actually fighting for his life)

canon things I like: jack flirting with tim at every opportunity, also that LINE, the fucking line where he's like "you're making me anxious" because tim is so hot? that's good shit. tim being so attractive to him that he acts wildly ooc because he's just. so into him is SO FUN AND GOOD. tim being bound to him not only contractually but physically too, unable to separate himself from jack, seeing jack when he looks in the mirror, it's soooo sad and so good. jack making tim do porn is very toxic and good (which btw, "made him" could literally just mean "he paid me too much to refuse", I have always wanted more details about HOW he "made" tim do it). tim in the jackpot being surrounded by statues and holograms and posters of his dead lover/abuser? constantly unable to go even a day without the reminder of jack? hell yeah. also "I'm not you, jack" is SUCH a good line. AUGH. I love them.

katarhys

I loooove rhys being begrudgingly into kat and kat's admiration for him, but in a way that he doesn't indulge until he's at a low point. like, calling him up when he's lonely, bored, drunk, etc. and he KNOWS it's a bad idea EVERY TIME but he does it anyway because it feels good to have someone SO into him, even if he's also kinda creeped out by it. I also love them indulging in guro shit because... I just love it, it's just FUN, and kat has at lines about stabbing/slicing rhys so it's just.... Good. I also like to play up how much of a stalker kat is by having him install cameras in places to keep tabs on rhys. I don't have a lot of actual headcanons I can think of right now because canon is so good LOL

canon things I like: I love kat seemingly knowing EVERYTHING there is to know about rhys, including his favorite froyo place. he's clearly been keeping tabs on rhys so it's fair to say that at least some degree of stalking (at least virtually) is in place in canon and that's sooo good. "DO YOU NEED ANOTHER LOVE TAP" "IF I STAB YOU, RHYS, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT'LL BE RIGHT IN THE CHEST, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BROS DO!" "who cares about them, I'm doing this for us." "I'm gonna slice you in haaa~aalf." kat disguising himself as zer0 to make rhys think he's been betrayed. KAT IS SUCH A FUN CHARACTER he's just so good and I love all his dialogue and I love how obsessed he is with rhys, THEY'RE SO GOOD I LOVE THEM!!!

[purplesurveys]

1896

20 random people... Don't look at the questions beforehand! :D

Nina

Celeste

Hans

Lui

Kaye

Angela

Mom

Reena

Gabie

Kuya

Pau

Jo

Lei

Andi

Leigh

Marie

Dad

Dev

Sam

Pia

Ok, here we go...

How did you meet #4?: College org. I was an applicant at the time, they were already a member, and they seemed very friendly to all the newbies so I stuck around them. In time we became close and even got in the same friend group, which we're both still part of today.

How much does #9 mean to you?: She's a co-worker so while I wouldn't, like, die for her per se or can say that she's 'everything' to me, I'd look out for her nonetheless.

Describe #14 in 2 words.: Extremely intelligent.

What is your best memory with #5?: I loved when she came over to watch YTC Busan live with us! That was also such a random mix of friends to end up happening, so I was anxious they'd all be opposites – but it got really fun.

Do you know all of #2's secrets?: I know none of them seeing as we're only workmates and I like my boundaries.

When is the next time you're going to see #7?: In an hour or two, I'm guessing. She went out for a bit for errands.

When's the last time you saw #17?: 2 AM, Friday – dropped him off at the airport. From there, I won't be seeing him again until November.

How do you think #13 feels about you?: After trying to teach me one of her party card games last Sunday, I bet she now thinks I can get ditzy as all hell hahaha. But apart from that I don't know what else she thinks of me! We rarely see each other and are always shy when we do, lol.

Are #11 and #12 anything like each other?: Quite the contrary; they're a good example of how two people cannot be any more different.

Describe the relationship between #14 and #19.: They have a nonexistent relationship, but if we're gonna be extremely loose about degrees of separation – Hans went to the same school as Andi (#14); they both also were schoolmates with Gab, who used to date Sam (#19).

Is #10 single?: No. Has been engaged for a while now, too.

If you could tell #8 one thing right now, what would it be?: Let's go out soon and maybe we can try a new hobby together, too.

What is the funniest thing you've ever seen #16 do?: I haven't had many funny encounters with her tbh as she's kind of shy and doesn't really want to put herself out there – that, and we've always worked from home.

Can I name coolest instead? There was a time when my teammates and I each needed to make 10-slider decks about any topic (meant to be an exercise on public speaking); and she had what I thought was the most unique and personally relatable presentation – she covered her favorite lesbian media. Music, movies...and there's a bunch in there that I was able to relate to...just cause of my past, I guess. Haha. It felt pretty bittersweet, and I gave her some of my recs too.

How did you meet #15?: School. I can't remember when we got close, though. Maybe in high school if I had to guess – we stay friends these days, too, as she's with Andi.

What would you do if #4 died?: I'd be shocked to say the least. I'm imagining that'd bring the college friend group back together again.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen #3 do?: He had a brief stint as a camp...something (guide? counselor? idk terms) in the US a few years ago, so when he came back the first thing he did to me was share a bunch of camp songs he picked up from his time there. After he taught me, he proceeded to sing them all to entire time hahaha.

Are you friends with any of #19's friends?: Not with most of them. We only have a few mutual friends, all linked to Angela/Hans.

Who is #7 to you?: My mom.

What is one thing #13 is really good at?: I'm gonna go with biology and chemistry as she's literally a licensed pharmacist.

What would happen if #1 and #3 hated each other?: That would crush me, tbh. Hans is family at this point, and it'd be sad if he and my sister actively disliked one another.

Is #11 anything like #18?: I guess. Very surface-level similarities, but yeah. They're both leaders, their personalities are both pretty nonchalant...that's what I can think of now.

How much trust do you have in #12?: Lots, in the grand scheme of things. Jo is reliable and trustworthy.

If you fell off a bridge, who would you trust to catch you, #4 or #6? Why?: Angela, 100%. We're exponentially so much closer.

Who do you like the most?: It's a tie between my dad and Angela.

Who do you hate the most?: I didn't put in anyone I dislike.

How did you meet #1?: I would guess she was introduced as my little sister when I was 2.

What would you do if you never met #14?: I probably never would've gotten back into wrestling.

Would you date #20?: Hypothetically, in another universe – sure, why not? She's pretty and so so so SO ridiculously kind and has just such a warm personality.

Have you ever seen #8 cry?: Just once. We cried together at the time, but they were happy tears.

Would #5 and #13 make a good couple?: I've never thought of that. But I don't think so.

Describe #9.: I don't know her much outside of work, but from what I've seen she's hardworking; has a sensitive side in that she doesn't really like getting scolded; and she's a million times friendlier than I am – she gets along with everyone which makes her such an important part of the team. You gotta have an extrovert in PR, and she's that.

Do you like #16?: Yes.

Do you think #4 is attractive?: Personally not my type.

When's the last time you talked to #19?: Around two weeks ago.

Would you date #10?: Hard pass, that's my cousin.

What's the best thing about #15?: She has this innocent and pure aura around her that I adore very much. Like she can never get mad at anything and anyone.

Best thing about #7?: She's very resilient.

Have you ever kissed #11?: Nope.

Have you ever slapped #18?: I've never slapped any one person on the list.

When's the next time you're going to see #12?: I have no idea, our group rarely makes plans to see each other anymore. The last time I saw her was mid-2023 and we didn't even get to meet up after to talk about our Yoongi concert experiences like we planned.

Is #16 pretty?: Yes!

What was your first impression of #4?: Kind, approachable, helpful, reliable, older than me.

Is #13 your BFF?: No.

Have you seen #15 in the last month?: I haven't seen her in years actually lol. Andi and I hang out all the time and I always check in if Leigh will be tagging along...and she just doesn't.

Have you been to #20's house?: I have not. We're not that close.

Last time you saw #14?: April! We watched a wrestling gig. I'll be seeing them again later this month for trivia night – they added me to their team because two of the topics will be Friends and BTS, haha.

Next time you'll see #10?: Tomorrow, I'm guessing! We'll be coming over tomorrow and I think he'll by home.

Are you really close to #1?: Not heart-to-heart talk levels because we're a dysfunctional family and can't bear baring our souls to one another LOL – but it's a close-friend type of close for sure.

Would you give #20 a hug?: Sure. I'm sure I hugged her a few times when we saw each other 2 weeks ago at our surprise engagement party for Angela and Hans.

Tell me a secret about #5.: I don't know her enough to know her secrets.

Describe the relationship between #14 and #3: They were schoolmates in grade school until Andi moved.

What's your relationship with #5?: She's one of the school friendships I've been able to retain all these years. We're not best friends but we check in on one another from time to time.

Have you ever danced with #18?: I have not.

How do you know #13?: She's my closest cousin on my dad's side.

Does #2 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I don't think so. She had a dating phase early in the year, but I haven't heard much updates from her since.

Have you ever wanted to punch #6 in the face?: Maybe just once, heh.

Has #11 ever met your mother?: Nope.

Have you traveled anywhere with #12?: Nah. We could've, for Yoongi's tour! But I ended up in Thailand, she in Singapore.

If you gave #7 $100, what would they spend it on?: Probably on groceries.

Best memory of #2?: One of our events where we both ended up fairly tipsy.

What is one thing you most want #14 to know?: That I always feel bad for being the occasional terrible replier, but I hope they know that I always love it when they message and send me the most random questions or rants.

What's the last thing you did with #15?: I honestly have no clue. She's the one I've seen the least often.

When did you meet #8?: We first met around six years ago, when Angela brought us together for some drinks. We never talked again until 2021 when it was Angela (again) who put the three of us in the same chat since we all liked BTS. We got super close from there.

What do you wish for #17?: Good health is #1. It's something I find myself thinking about more often now; and for him not to feel lonely and sad when he's away.

[chthonicgodling]

10 for chal and 18 for pho and icy ?

Ty!!! again questions from here w ocs from here - aaaand again behind a cut cause LONG Lmfao aaughhhh

10- If they have a love interest how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? (Re: Chal)

FENIXE AND I DIDNT PLAN CHAL AND BEL GETTING TOGETHER AT AAAAALLLL just like everything we’ve ever done it just sort of happened! So Chal was pretty solidly the way she was since before Bel, BUT certain traits of hers did definitely end up becoming emphasized just by nature of putting the two of them next to each other especially one specific thing like

The thing about Bel is that, as a mindreader and also as a split god linked to his own twin sibling, Bel’s not…. good at…….. communicating his own thoughts and feelings? Like Bel’s always been used to Ty just knowing everything about him all the time cause the two of them are ALWAYS in each others heads they can’t turn it off. That’s not to say Bel isn’t extremely well spoken and emotionally intelligent he just uh. Forgets to Do That On The Outside.

‘Cause then you put him next to someone like Chal who is not only incredibly imperceptive of how other people are feeling (she has gotten so much better with this but lmao still!!) but also NOT in tune with her OWN thoughts and emotions, and so all of that “Chal-ness” about Chal just jumped way more intensely to the forefront. Bel’s always poker faced and never reveals what he’s feeling - Chal, his partner, is frantically babbling every single thing she’s thinking and experiencing the second anything pops into her head. Bel himself summed up pretty concisely a while ago (yes I went back to 2017 to find tbis exact quote lol) - “I think the way we love each other is different.  You're more intense, I'm more subtle.”

so was that on PURPOSE okay no like I said Chal was never designed with Bel specifically in mind but. Is this something about Chal that’s become more pronounced as she developed alongside Bel! yyeeessss. So to foil alongside Bel Chal has gotten LOUDER and BABBLIER

fun fact re all of this though that idk if I’ve ever shared - they have had MANY conversations about their extreme communication differences cause it has caused problems due to Chal not!! being able to read minds and Bel!! forgetting that not everyone can read minds!!!!! They have a rule set up between them that Chal can ask at any time “what are you thinking” and Bel will always answer honestly no exceptions 💞 Chal asks this 40 times a day and it’s become so second nature to them that she’s even occasionally slipped up and done it to like, Tory, Gany, lol

18- What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? (Re: Icy & Pho)

the way these are both Chal related cause the last time they were really around in canon doing anything was around her lmfao—

For Icy: I’ve yet to formally do anything about this in canon but Icy’s still on and off crushing on Chal solely because I think it’s really funny so i’m stalling as long as possible since Neo and Icy are forever endgame anyway. HOWEVER I have discovered in my daydream planning that the way Icy will finally and definitively stop fawning over her is gonna be the moment he finally has an actual in depth conversation with Chal in order to discover that Chal, just like Icy, is an anxious wreck disaster - maybe even more so - and the shock of looking in a metaphorical mirror will be enough to knock some sense back into him. No way can Icy be the put together confident one in a relationship they can’t BOTH be falling apart aahhhh. Icy’s gonna realise that he can only date an opposite! HMM WHO’S ICY’S POLAR OPPOSITE AND CONVENIENTLY HIS BEST FRIEND AT HIS SIDE —

For Pho: this came to light for me the moment Pho and Chal actually met each other in canon cause I hadn’t realized how Pho was going to behave until he was behaving as such (I said, as the person responsible for writing and controlling all of these characters — shhhhhhhh) — is the discovery that Pho REALLY can’t stand Chal and it’s NOT for any of the reasons anyone else has hated her lmfao?! Literally nothing to do with Thanatos?!?!!

Pho and his dayglo glitter projection self has always existed outside of “time” in the sense that since like, physical age 4 onwards Pho has never actually ACTED his age, babbling in competent paragraphs due to his powers as a brain-mental(dream) god advancing him well beyond typical development. Kid-not-really-a-kid. Who else in the palace was merely kid-shaped but actually mentally existing well beyond their physical age???

Why, mindreading mindgods Ty and Bel of course, who froze themselves deliberately in the shape of children at age 7ish to be 7 forever with their big sister Meli, despite their powers advancing them outside the confines of age and space and time. they’re mind gods - they’re every mind!

and that’s a lonely life to live forever but not when you have a glittery buddy who’s also masquerading the same way to hang out with :-) besties! Except of course then Bel and Ty moved to Chal’s house— and dropped the facade, for Chal’s sake, to actually appear as the adults they were. For Chal’s sake! happily ever after for Chal!

…well. then. Pho was quite dismayed to discover that his besties weren’t kids to hang out with anymore. they didn’t even tell him fffdkfkff whoops??? like they just showed up at the palace again all different and Pho hanging out there with Icy was like what the FUCK??? so when Pho finally met Chal the discovery - suddenly became very clear to me that he harbors QUITE a bit of jealous resentment against her for “taking Bel and Ty away” and uhhh. will this be a grudge Pho holds forever?! maybe lmao! everyone’s oblivious no one can read Pho’s mind cause it’s all glitter sooooo……….. hm…….. keeping that one in the back of my mind……

[dogwittaablog]

ya I remember asking you the whole how he would approach dating seriously vs hook ups and everything. In the sense like how would he feel like meeting someone he sees himself falling for/how would he feel and think about falling in love/introducing someone to his family and friends. Would he be scared out of his mind? I don’t think he’s ever been in love and I don’t think he allows himself to fall, so how would he even act when he falls in love unexpectedly and he couldn’t see it coming and its hard and fast. What’s this dude’s dream girl like personality/interests wise? And like I feel like his family and besties are very important to him and he’d be hella nervous and excited for what they’d think about a girl. And I think they’d also be so curious to see who managed to get him to settle down after 5-6 years of the bachelor lifestyle. Not gonna lie I wanted a whole psychological breakdown about all of this because I love the way you keep it a 100 with him but you put in so much effort with the fanfic writing I didn’t have the heart to tell you back then. Sorry for the super long rant lol

In all honesty that's probably a really hard question to address who exactly he'd fall in love with and how. Since love is a really deep emotion, he'd probably find it overwhelming and scary since it'd be a new territory for him and he doesn't come off as someone who's easily vulnerable.

If I could picture someone ideal that would suit him it'd definitely be an independent and self assured individual, like he'd really appreciate someone who has their own goals and ambitions. Who's able to provide and do things for themselves without constantly relying on him. (He's never struck me as the kind of person that would make anyone a stay at home girlfriend and just let them take his card and buy whatever lmao). Don't see him liking to feel the need to baby someone or fix every small problem they have, or have them nag for attention constantly either.

The person is a good mix of being introverted and extroverted, knows when to just stay in to chill and knows when to have fun and go out. Is able to match the mood accordingly. He likes them goofy for sure, someone who's carefree/no drama and is able to push his buttons in a good way (Just imagine a female TK). Probably would want someone who lets him indulge in his hobbies without judgement (Especially hunting and the 6+ hours at the golf course with the boys lmao). A big bonus is if they're already into the same hobbies, or if they're willing to participate and learn.

When it comes to introducing he’d probably be fairly anxious and probably thinking of all the potential embarrassing stories and photos they’ll see/hear of him + just hoping they’ll all be accepting. “Wow Nolan finally brought a girl over! It’s been ages!”

There is no doubt he values his parents and sisters opinion on who he brings home, but he seems like he values his dad's opinion the most idk why. I think cause he's such a daddies boy and it's pretty evident he goes to him for advice and whenever he needs a heart to heart. So if whomever impresses his dad, would probably have a better chance of staying around longer. Not saying his mom and sisters opinion don't matter, but it's not that big of a significance compared to good old Steve. His friends would probably have the least say in everything, they’d just want him happy with a good person.

[thecandywrites]

Monster March Day 9- Centuar- Part 1

If The Shoe Fits Part 1

I had so much fun with this. And this continues to build on Other-taurs and Minotaur day too. I like how these fit together so nicely. I hadn't planned on it. But it just sort of happened. lol. This is in three parts. Parts 1 and 2 are SFW, Part 3 Will be NSFW.

Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 promptlist. I really needed this- this year. So thank you for putting this together. I really appreciate it.

Monster March 2023- Day 9- Centaur

If The Shoe Fits

Part 1

Lucus was in his orchard, pruning his trees when the sound of heavy equipment perked his ears up before he paused to look over at the old farm house that was across the valley to see heavy construction equipment come in and then start demolition on the old farmhouse itself as he simply blinked in surprise. And while he had been practically born and raised here with the farm being in his family’s name for years. And while he felt like he could probably draw the house from memory, what it had been, in an instant, with one swing of equipment, it was all gone in an instant and Lucus didn’t know why he was suddenly crying, but after he thought about it, he was simply sorry to see what was once a beautiful country farm house that had been there for nearly a century and a half, gone in mere moments, barely a heart beat or two. Because more and more things were changing and respect towards the old was waning. 

Ten years ago, the old couple had lived there- for decades before. That farm was also passed down through the family for multiple generations. The husband got a loan to fix up the barn so his own old farming equipment would not get damaged, especially since it was old enough to not need yearly “software updates” and was built to last several generations when kept in good repair. Then after the barn was rebuilt, he had a heart attack. The wife, was already senile and needed round the clock care. So their kids fought viciously about the farm and it’s many acres and hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment , one wanted to sell it all and split the money, the second wanted to keep it and the third only cared about the mother and her care. But apparently, the old man had put the house, and it’s contents, and it’s lands and all the equipment up as collateral to get the massive barn and outbuildings rebuilt. And none of the now grown children with families of their own had the money to pay off the loan to bring everything out of the bank’s clutches. And to add insult to injury, the old man never had any life insurance. So there was nothing left to do but to walk away and put the widow into a nursing home who only outlived her husband by not even a year. And the war waged among the children over what they thought they would be getting in an inheritance was bitter enough to drive the siblings apart, that after their mother’s death, never really spoke to each other again, much less anyone else, he grew up with those kids and each one more anxious to get out of that farm than the last. And each one more willing to dig up more and more hatches metaphorically speaking against the others. Because apparently the family was extremely dysfunctional. And all Lucas could do was to shake his head at all of it and if anything, urged him to be a better husband and father to his family ever since. 

But in the end- the bank took everything, the kids took what they could and wanted from the house itself, but otherwise weren’t there for the auction itself because otherwise they had all washed their hands of it. The bank sold off the equipment, which Lucas did end up buying a fair amount of it. But the house, with it’s many acers didn’t sell. But the housing market was really good and they were asking a pretty penny for it. And much more than anyone else had. So the bank decided to simply sit on it and have the house in foreclosure along with many others in the area. 

And then the housing market crashed. And suddenly the bank was desperate to cut its losses and sold it. But who they sold it to- he didn’t know and neither did his neighbors, the ones that were still hanging in there anyway. And in the coming months, he would get his own kids off to school in the winter, he would watch from the kitchen, over a cup of coffee- to watch to see who came to the house. He wondered what they were going to do with it. 

And starting today would be a long several months of interesting development, he watched as the house was bulldozed to the ground. The foundations were dug up and new foundations were laid. Then a bunch of people came and started to tend to the trees. 

The old farmer had a pretty decent orchard and a vineyard, since it had been a homestead farm since before the turn of the century. He still remembered himself and the neighbors would sneak into it at night and steal some apples and pears and peaches and cherries off of the trees until they were caught and then encouraged to simply come and get what they wanted if they were really hungry. But help with the trees if they could. 

It was inspired Lucus to plant his own orchard, and using the old farming techniques to prepare his soil for whatever crops he wanted or needed, no major chemicals or weed killers needed. To let the soil tell you what it wanted and needed. And the farmer even made his own wine and vinegar from the orchard when they weren’t eating the grapes right off the vine. The old farmer even owned the lake in the middle of the valley and invited the neighbors to fish in it when they wanted to, and especially swim in it when it was especially a hot day. And he didn’t want any chemicals or anything poisoning the ground or the water, especially the creeks that ran in and out of the lake too. He had been the backbone of the community really. And Lucas was sad to see him go. But then to hear how he was one way with others but could be cruel and harsh with his family, never did sit right with him. 

But with age, the farmer was only able to keep up with only one of each of the kinds of trees and their vegetable garden seemed to grow smaller and smaller. And while the pumpkins would still come up every year and the fruit would come, because no one tended to the trees, the fruit would rot right off the trees or fall prey to the wildlife because the wife- in her senility thought anyone else on the property was there to steal from them and would walk the perimeter of the property with a shotgun. Whether it was loaded or not, Lucus didn’t want to know and kept his boys from ever going to find out either as he didn’t even want his boys anywhere near that property and simply took them to the other lakes around to go fishing or to the closest Great Lake that was barely more than half an hour away to actually swim. Or even to a local youth center if they wanted to swim in a swimming pool. In Lucas’ mind, one of the sons would have inherited the farm and his boys and his would have gone to school together. Like he had done. But it seemed the past didn’t want to repeat that way. 

The old farmer had another 20 acres just for running various crops. But it had been something of a hay field for the last couple decades. And he had let Lucas collect the hay himself if he wanted to. But when the bank came, they asked him to stop. So he did. And that’s when nature reclaimed what it could. That new barn and outbuildings seeming to fight it off better than the rest of it. 

But now it seemed, someone was coming back in and rebuilding and renewing the place. But who the new owners were, still eluded him and the other neighbors that shared the valley between them and the other houses around the area. 

To Lucus and his neighbor’s surprise, a huge house was built. Practically the size of a mansion. The largest house in the area and definitely bigger than any house Lucas had ever seen before besides the huge lake houses on the Great Lake itself. A pool was dug out and then enclosed so that the house would have an indoor pool. Then privacy fences soon surrounded the yard part of the property. A cement driveway was poured and then the barn soon had more outbuildings. And a chicken coop was put up. And proper fences up to to keep livestock. And the lake had a proper dock and a jumping platform built for swimming too, even though the lake itself could manage barely a few rowboats, maybe a kayak or even a paddle boat. And then the lake itself got stocked with fish after it was tested to make sure it hadn’t gotten damaged from neglect. And the wilderness was soon pushed back. The farm soon got a fresh start and he saw many people help bring it back to it’s former glory and then improve on it even more. 

And, then painters and other builders came to put the finishing touches on the huge house. And to his sons’ jealousy, a huge playground was built inside the fence along with a trampoline. And then- moving truck after moving truck came to the house to move in crates full of furniture- with all kinds of people helping. 

Literally. 

He saw human, elf, orc, dwarven, dragonborn, deer-taurs, elk-taurs, caribou-taurs, minotaurs like the classic minotaurs as well as deer minotaurs, elk minotaurs and even moose minotaurs. He saw draenei, tiefling, halflings and hybrids of all kinds. And tons of kids, also of all kinds. All of them eager to play on the playground that was both built for the bipedal and quadrapedal sort, while the adults moved things in. And as much as he wanted to go and help. He didn’t quite know if that would go over well or be well received. And this lasted for a few weeks. And it was just a never ending revolving set of peoples coming and going. But with every group, only a few people seemed to always be among them. A pregnant woman whose belly seemed to grow every time he saw her from a distance and while she looked familiar, he could not for the life of him recall how he knew her. But he also didn’t want to come off as a nosey neighbor and try to find out either. 

“So I heard that a millionaire built a house there!” His son Aiden proclaimed over dinner one night. 

“Well of course! How else would they afford to build a mansion?” Nick muttered rhetorically.  

“They must have a lot of kids to build that big of a house and a playground.” Aiden offered. 

“Probably.” Lucas shrugged. 

“When they finally move in, you’ll introduce us right?” Aiden pleaded. 

“We can definitely try.” He answered before there was a knock on the door before the boys both bolted for the door while Lucas frowned but went to the door just as it opened to reveal a woman with three children on the other side. They were all neatly dressed and she had a covered plate in her hands and her pregnant belly helping to hold up the plate of cookies in her hands. 

“Hello, My name is Maddison and these are my kids, we just moved into the area and wanted to say hi and introduce ourselves. Are your parent’s home?” She asked Aiden and Nick.

Lucus just stared, rather dumbly, down at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. It was the same pregnant woman he had noticed before, as something about her seemed to grow from vague to more definite in the degree of familiarity about her. But still, he couldn’t get his brain to recall where or how he felt he knew the woman at his door. He could tell by the point of her ears that she was a hybrid of human and something else. But she had the most gorgeous dark purple hair with pink and blue high and lowlights. Ber eyes were like tanzanites. Both an indigo blue yet a deep Siberian amethyst purple. And her skin was like a light pink, almost purple amethyst too which flowed into a darker purple horns. But and her teeth were nearly blinding white and her smile was as sweet as it was warm and hopeful. 

“Yeah, dad is, Dad?” Aiden asked as he turned his torso to look at his dad before the woman followed his son’s gaze before they looked at each other and he suddenly seemed to come back to his senses. 

“Lucas? Lucus Duncan?” Maddison asked as she looked up at him as she seemed to be having a similar reaction to him. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I can’t seem to remember how I know you.” Lucas noted. 

“It’s me, Maddison, well I used to be Murdock, it’s Allbright now though. We went to middle school together. Everyone called me ‘Maddy Addie’?” Maddie recalled with a slight grimace to her smile which had become slightly pained and awkward. 

“OH! Oh my stars, Addie! Holy cow! Wow! I thought you moved away though?” He recalled as he was practically kicking himself for not remembering the prettiest girl in school, but when she didn’t go to the same high school, of course they drifted apart and lost touch over the years since. 

“Yeah, I did. I just um, I just moved back. Actually, I bought the old Dunshee Farm, but the house was way past any kind of saving. So we had to bulldoze it and rebuild it. But I wanted to open up the invitation again that if any of the kids in the area wanted to fish or swim in the pond, they’re more than welcome to. And of course those orchards and that vineyard will make more food than we could ever pick or eat, so I wanted to also extend the invitation that old Mr. Dunshee had, that if anyone wanted anything, that they were more than welcome to pick as much as they needed or wanted. And I’m just happy the blueberry bushes are still there. They always were the best blueberries. Just as good as Leduc’s.” Maddison invited as her cheeks flushed violet like her eyes and Duncan was, once again, had his breath taken away by her once more. Like he was at junior prom, staring at her all dressed up and dolled up and looking like she just came out of a magazine or off some awards show. She had wowed everyone there, but hadn’t stayed long enough for the flood of dancing invitations to come in, not that her super jealous and possessive boyfriend at the time would have let anyone dance with her anyway. 

“Oh! You bought that place. I’ve loved what you’ve done with it.” Duncan offered. 

“Thanks. So uh, here, we made cookies for all the neighbors. Because I remember how close everyone who lived here used to be.” She said before she offered him the cookies as she nearly had to go on tiptoe to get them to him since he was a tall percheron centaur himself. 

“So, these are my kids. This is Alexandria, Adelaide and Avery.” She introduced as she gestured to her two daughters and her son who looked like they were the same ages his own kids. 

“And these are my boys, Aiden and Nick.” Lucas introduced. 

“It’s nice to meet you both. Your dad and I used to go to middle school together.” Maddison explained. 

“Oh so you knew our mom too? Cause they were dating since middle school.” Aiden asked. 

“Then yes I did. I remember Amber very well. She’s awesome, is she home or out grocery shopping?” Maddison offered which brought a bittersweet smile to their faces. 

“Oh, no. She died two years ago of cancer.” Aiden offered. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Maddison offered.

“So I take it you didn’t stay with Eddie? Because these guys thankfully look nothing like him.” Lucas recalled as he gestured between her kids. 

“Oh gods no! Thank all the gods in all the heavens, no, we split when I moved, thank goodness.” Maddison shook her head adamantly. 

“No their father, Adrian and I met at college actually. He was going for his Semiconductor Engineering degree. I was there getting my horn and antler specialists licenses and certifications. We met in the library of all things.” Maddison answered. 

“So where’s is he? Still at work?” Lucas asked. 

“No. He, unfortunately passed away, only about 5 months ago, he was in an accident.” Maddison answered as she instinctively wrapped her arm around her belly as Lucas’ heart constricted painfully in his chest at the thought of her husband leaving a gift in her belly only to leave her in death not long after. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry Addie.” Lucas offered as it was clear that Maddison was fighting back tears. 

“Thanks. Well, this is um a new page we’re trying to turn over. So, yeah, it’s great to finally see a familiar face. If you guys need or want anything just call or ask ok? Here’s, here’s my business card, I’ll put my cell on the back. And if the kids will need a ride to school or something like that, just let me know.” Maddison offered as she fished her wallet out of her purse and got a card out and wrote down her phone number on the back as Lucas could see her belly start moving like crazy because her baby was kicking up a storm. 

“Easy, I know, more salsa, always more salsa.” Maddison cooed to her belly as she tried to finish writing the number on the card before gave it back only to trade her card with his own, since he was a professional ferrier. 

“Oh hey! You’re a ferrier now. You were always really good with that. Makes a lot of sense because who would be an expert on hooves unless they had them themselves right?” Maddison smiled at the card. 

“Yup and that’s my cell right there on the card. If you need or want anything, please don’t hesitate to call ok? I’m barely two minutes away, I’ll be over in two flicks of a tail. And same offer applies, if the kids need a ride to school or whatever, just let us know ok?” Lucas offered. 

“You always were so sweet and generous Lucas. I’m happy to see that hasn’t changed about you. I see you finally grew into your height.” Maddison offered as Lucas grew downright bashful at the praise. 

“At least the acne cleared up.” Lucas offered before he slapped his hand over his mouth as he was mortified that blurted itself out of his mouth but Addie simply laughed it off. 

“Yeah, thankfully, that got cleared up.” Maddison seemed to laugh off. 

“Will you be going to Twin Valley North?” Nick asked as he was looking at Alexandria with a hopeful smile because she was just as gorgeous as her mom while Avery simply smiled politely. 

“Yes.” They all answered in unison. 

“Oh awesome, so we’re going to be going to school together. What grade will you be in?” Nick asked Avery before the kids gave their answers as Nick and Avery would be in the same grade. But it was a small community school with only two or three teachers per grade. The school had an elementary side and a middle school section and a highschool section and Nick and Avery would be starting high school together. While Alexandria would still be in middle school while Aiden and Adelaide would be in the same grade as well. 

“Awesome. So are you going to be bus riders or car riders?” Alexandria asked. 

“Oh, we don’t do either, we um, we walk to school along with the other taurs. We all walk to school because the bus and most of the cars are usually more for the bipeds.” Nick answered. 

“And you’re a quadruped.” Alexandria noted with an appreciative glance to his large legs, seemingly more bone and joints that bulging muscle like his father. 

“Yup.” Nick nodded as his cheeks flushed with a bit of embarrassment. 

“Well, we’re usually car riders.” Adelaide offered. 

“Awesome. Well at least we’ll be going to school together.” Alexandria offered. 

“We will.” Nick and Aiden both nodded. 

“So um, what do you charge? For your ferrier services?” Maddison asked. 

“Uh, it depends on the kind of horse you get and if they’ll be needing shoes.” Lucas answered. 

“Oh, I see, that makes sense.” Maddison nodded in understanding.

“So you work in a spa?” He asked when he looked at her own business card and really looked at it and not solely at her phone number and practically engraving it into his memory. 

“Yup. I’m a horn and antler specialist. So I help other taurs who grow antlers strip the velvet off their antlers and then with antler growth and antler shedding, or if they have horns, horn shaping and polishing, and then winter coat removal.” Maddison explained. 

“Oh! That’s awesome.” He grinned happily before he noticed that she and her children were all sporting little horns right in their hair, showing off their tiefling heritage pretty well. 

“So what kind of horses will you be getting?” Aiden asked. 

“Well, we’ll see what’s available.” Maddison answered. 

“My dad trims all the hooves of the horses that go through Stieners. And they have auctions on the first weekend of the month!” Aiden proudly informed Maddison. 

“Oh! That place is still open? So your dad must be quite the expert huh?” Maddison smiled fondly while Lucas grew even more bashful. 

“He is! It’s the weekend after this one, you want to come with us?” Aiden invited as Lucas was shocked Aiden would be so bold to ask that. 

“Well, how about I meet you there?” Maddison offered. 

“Perfect!” Aiden and Nick both beamed happily. 

“It’s a date! We’ll see you there then.” Maddison offered as she seemed to try to hold her baby inside her womb to keep it from kicking itself out of her. 

“That one is pretty active huh?” Lucas guessed as he nodded to her belly. 

“Usually he’s been pretty quiet, this is the first time he’s felt like doing his gymnastic classes. He usually only gets this active when it’s time for me to eat.” Maddison explained. 

“And he’s had a penchant for salsa?” Lucas recalled. 

“Yes! Mango salsa and guacamole- especially for some reason, practically go through two jugs of each a week.” Maddison answered. 

“Well, we’ll let you go and let you get back to what you were doing before we came and interrupted things. See you in two weeks, if not sooner, the kids start school on Monday.” She offered. 

“Definitely. See you around. And again, if you guys want or need anything or help with anything, don’t hesitate to call or ask ok?” Lucas insisted. 

“Will do, thanks Lucas. It’s great to see you again and great to meet your boys. It was really nice to meet you Nick and Aiden.” Maddison said as her kids waived as she urged them off the special ramp that they used to get in and out of the house. 

She and her family left them to go as Lucus and his boys both seemed to practically lean out of the door to watch them go and get back into their vehicle since their own special quadruped vehicles were already in the driveway as Maddison and her kids all waived before Maddison backed up and drove out of the dirt driveway. 

“Dad, please don’t date her. She’s a grieving widow, it’s too soon anyway.” Nick began as he could see his father’s interest. But that interest could out trump his own and his instantaneous smitten state with Alexandria could be in jeopardy if his father liked Alexandria’s mom.  

“Excuse me?” Lucus asked incredulously. 

“Alexandria is gorgeous and I want to date her. I can’t date her if you date her mom.” Nick insisted. 

“She’s barely 13! And you’re 14! Both of you are still too young to date.” Lucus chided his son before he brought his boys back into the house to finish eating dinner. 

“And I want Adelaide to be my girlfriend too. So you really can’t date her mom.” Aiden proclaimed. 

“You’re 10! Both of you are too young for this crap.” Lucas insisted before his boys slipped the plate of cookies from his hands and began to hoover them down as if they had  been starved for weeks! 

“Ooh! They taste homemade! They’re so good!” Both boys beamed happily as they had a huge cookie in each hand as Lucus could see their hooves practically clatter on the floors like pasafinos. Those damn poor floor tiles. They were going to shatter one of these days. 

“Oh gods help me.” Lucas grumbled under his breath as his boys dissolved into what features they had found the most attractive about the new girls across the valley. It would figure that one of the prettiest girls in school would come back and settle in the best house in the area. And judging by her equally gorgeous and handsome kids, she had married someone equally handsome as she was gorgeous. And if she had been cute but awkward because of puberty, which no one was immune from. And if she had shown what she could be all dressed up. What she was now- was practically drop dead gorgeous. No wonder she had four kids. She was downright sexy and the epitome of sexy MILF. And now she was going to be the epitome of hot neighbor/ girl next door.

[runfast-runfar]

Life Lately ~ June 2023 ~

- I’ve been out of residential treatment and in PHP five days a week for 1.5 weeks now. It’s been a rollercoaster, that is for sure. 

- I miss work so much. Like, so so much. It’s hard to explain bc I don’t miss the work itself that much, but I love the people I am around at work. My closest friend is also someone I work with, and so it’s been sad knowing I don’t get to go on walks for coffee, and randomly catch up throughout the day. I am looking at another ~4 weeks in PHP (meaning being out of work), and then I will step down to IOP for a while. The potential problem with IOP is it is 3 days a week, and I will have to leave work two of those days quite early (i’ll have to leave at 2:05pm and then the third day, friday, I won’t be able to go into the office at all bc the program is 10am-3:30pm fridays. That is a big ask considering they have been giving me this whole time off, full pay, to do this program. I just want this process to be over. I want to just go back to my life and be done with all of this treatment. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting. 

- As ready as I am to go back to work, I also am so nervous for it. I am anxious to be around that many people again (there are ~75-80 people in our office). I have gained a pretty significant amount of weight atm from refeeding/my weight not having stabilized yet. I LOVE my therapist at my PHP program (her name is Jess and I talked to her each week when I was in residential, she just wasn’t my official therapist until I got to PHP) and I want to get to keep seeing her forever lol! I know I will get to keep seeing her during IOP but I also am a little worried if work doesn’t let me do IOP/take the needed time off I may have to leave against medical advice and not complete IOP. And that would mean not seeing Jess which would be very difficult for me. So it’s just a bit of an up in the air clusterfuck atm. 

- Some happy things are happening too though. My brother, our mutual friend and I are going on 3 apartment tours this upcoming saturday and I am SO SO excited and ready to be moving out, so fingers crossed one of these places works and we get it asap bc living at home is rough. 

- I am dog sitting for Finn and I LOVE my time with him! He is the best pal ❤️

- It was my best friends birthday and I made her a card that I painted and I haven’t done anything art related in a while and it felt nice to do. I need to do it more. 

- We do cute little fun activities in PHP often, and I got to make a little sand sensory “garden” and I love it! I am leaving it at program for the time being to play with there, but when we move out I am oddly excited to put it in my new room lol!! 

- And then the Taylor Swift concert is a little over a month away and I am SO EXCITED (also SO NERVOUS!) I was originally going with my brother (I coerced him to go with me) but my friend is able to come now, which I am so excited about, but it also made me weirdly extremely nervous too. She’s my closest friend and I love her very much and am so glad she’s coming. But I’ve never been in a social setting like this with a friend honestly ever. I haven’t had many friends since I was a little kid, and I’m nervous about it. I’m nervous to be in a crowd, and I get nervous around friends, even close friends, and I am a little worried about being in both those situations at once. I also don’t know how to act.. like I don’t want to be weird and too excited about it bc that’s weird.. but I also don’t want to be too rigid and a buzzkill... ugh.. why am I like this!? So, that’s been a bit stressful and on my mind for the past few days. It’s frustrating too bc it’s not that I don’t want her to come, I really do. I just wish I wasn’t so anxious about everything all the goddamn time. That would be freaking nice. 

- Anyways, no program today since it’s Juneteenth! So I walked down to get coffee with Finn this morning (I also slept in until 8am which is late for me lol), and then I have been laying in bed with Finn all morning! Yesterday I went on my first run in about 4 months now, it was an easy 30 minute run which felt conflicting. I was so happy to be out there again. No back pain, and it just felt like being back “home” in a way. But it was hard because I was running 8+ miles daily and in such better shape then. Okay.. maybe not “better shape” bc eating disorder.. but the difference in athleticism is real and hard to reconcile with. Anyways, went on that run, and then I did my favorite peloton class afterwards. And so today is a rest day. I will do some light yoga later, but I am freaking sore and so it’s been a relaxing day. Although apart from those workouts yesterday I laid in bed all day yesterday too haha! I actually movie marathoned all 6 Scream movies yesterday in bed which was amazingggg lol! I am rewatching Scream 6 now, and then I am going to watch all the Purge movies today! (can you tell i’m on a horror movie kick lol!) 

- Well, I hope you are all doing well, and have a great week ahead of you! 🫶 

[cuntastic-xd]

saw this question prompt thingy floating around n thought i'd answer some questions bc im bored and horny!!!!!! :3

everything is under the cut <3

nope ;3 but i've only ever done it with one person so im still really inexperienced

switch for sure. i used to thing i was a sub but there's something so fun to me about being dominant

i don't really have one!! although i will say. i do have a thing for older guys.

my super hot former professor, but i can only dream </3

very

at least twice a day, sometimes as much as ten times, it really depends on how im feeling

i just made a post about it hehe but i really really really wanna tease a boy until he loses his composure and breeds me all while apologizing for not being able to take all of my teasing

im very partial to dildos

im not on twittee but i HAVE posted my tits on here several times so........ probably that!!

nope, but im definitely thinkin about branching out. casual sex sounds very nice rn!!!

just a t-shirt n some panties

oof, i dunno xD i get turned out like, shockingly easy. a pretty girl could look at me and i'd immediately be soaked.

i don't mind piss. hell, i don't mind blood. but i draw the line at vomit and scat. also, no abdl because that makes me awfully uncomfortable.

anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour

probably not. i'm a very anxious person so it'd just have me on edge the whole time.

unpopular opinion, cosplay.

HANDS. a really nice pair of hands can really get me going

dio from jojo's bizarre adventure. specifically part 1 dio right after his transformation to vampire.

oh absolutely not lol, i've been in love before and it's so much different from lust

cherry waves by deftones, as basic as that is an answer

i have before and i wouldn't be against having some again, but i'd have to be sure of the person i'm talking to first

it was about 2 days ago, i was at a gynecologist and my dream-doctor was performing some super sexy medical malpractice xD

nope, im not too sure if that'd be something i'd be into either

in no specific order, piss desperation, dry humping, praise, hair pulling, and cnc

i wouldn't be opposed to that at ALL

nope :P

touched myself to completion :3 squirted all over my bed on accident but it was a really good orgasm

probably pissing myself but i mean come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

one time i couldn't get myself off for like 3 hours. it was terrible.

good communication!!!!!

[wordstome]

✨💫🤍☯️

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit) I haven't put out a lot yet, and I'm very fortunate in that everything I have posted has gotten as much if not more love as I could have anticipated. I've always had at least a handful of people asking me for more of what I've written, and I can't thank you guys enough for that <3

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? I love when people go into detail about what specifically in my writing they enjoyed, or how my writing made them feel. I know it takes more effort, and I appreciate everything you guys say, but the ones that are brave enough to share what they're thinking are so special to me.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"? I'm tempted to say Shrike, but that was not for lack of trying. People gave me a lot of love for Shrike and I do think people appreciated it more than I could have ever anticipated. I think I only feel this way about Shrike in particular because I personally think there's a lot of untapped potential in that au, and I just haven't explored it yet. So it's mostly on me more than the readers.

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

If you have something to say, say it!!! Speaking up and engaging with people is how you make connections with people, and how communities are formed. If you like what someone's writing, compliment them! If you can't stop thinking about a writer's story, then tell them, and 9 times out of 10 they'll be like I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

I know it's very frightening to reach out and risk being embarrassed, or worse, have someone you admire and whose work you like make fun of you or block you. I once said something that in hindsight was pretty annoying to a creator I used to admire, and their response was wildly disproportionate and very angry. After I calmed down a little I understood where they were coming from, but I also understood that I didn't deserve that reaction, and I stepped away from their content. (They turned out to not be such a good person anyway so lol)

What I recommend with if you're anxious about interacting with people online is that if you're anxious, then you're already doing things right. It's like how if you're worried you're being narcissistic, then you're not a narcissist because narcissists don't care about being a narcissist. If you're worried about how you'll come across to people and worried about upsetting or offending them, it means you care. It means you're going to be polite and respectful of boundaries to the best of your ability. And if you get it wrong, that's okay. It might be embarrassing or hurt really bad if a creator reacts poorly, but there are some important things to keep in mind:

You tried your best. It's okay to make mistakes. You can't know everything about everything.

If you upset a creator, it will hurt a lot if you think they have the wrong impression of you. It sucks bad. But to get over this feeling, you just have to keep reminding yourself that it is not personal, and it does not mean that you are a bad person. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, and other people deserve space if they've been upset. It's okay. I know you're sorry. I know you wish it happened differently. But sometimes the nature of the internet is that wires get crossed.

If a creator humiliates you on purpose or disproportionately blows up at you, that is not your fault. As long as you stay open to the possibility that you may have done something wrong, you don't need to shoulder the entirety of the blame. Sometimes a creator's just having a bad day, or they're just not handing this particular thing very well. It's important to strike a balance between "maybe I could have done that better" and "they're still being an asshole about it though". Stay open to criticism, stay reflective of your own actions, but also remind yourself that you don't need to take others' abuse or the brunt of their bad moods.

Remember that there are a variety of reasons why you might not get a response or a reaction. It's not worth it to fret over whether or not it was something you did. Just don't think about it <3

The vast majority of creators love to talk about their work. Reach out. Nine times out of ten you'll receive a positive response. And if you don't, it's okay. You know what you intended to do, and that's enough <3

[mara-and-its-the-same]

Somebody tells you they love you - Character pairing <3 tell me everything you want me to know to pair you with a character and give you some scenarios

ooh della could i get this for the marauders! either gender but male pref <33

'm a sagittarius with a virgo moon in vedic astrology, although in western i'm a capricorn with a libra moon <3 i'm a ravenclaw and an enfp. (i think im an ambivert tho)

i'm 5''3 with auburn curly hair and a pretty petite hourglass figure. i have freckles pretty much all year round - but only on my cheeks and the tip of my nose. my eyes are blue but look green in certain lighting. ever since i was abt 5 or 6 ive always wanted to get a couple of tattoos but im not old enough yet 😭

i would describe myself as observant, fun, genuine, intuitive and witty. i like to get to know people & ask them questions, im pretty open personally. how much i talk changes massively depending on my mood although i do end up rambling about nothing once i get invested in the conversation lol.

im pretty ambitious which can sometimes cause severe burnout, but i hate pushing myself further than i can and i am learning to set good boundaries. i am a relatively anxious person, but im rlly getting better at managing that.

i feel most at home during autumn & during starry nights. i like adventures but at the end of the day i prefer being at home. i love art galleries, astronomy, late night conversations, biking, classic flction and listening to music - i like the beatles, queen, oasis, arctic monkeys, tv girl, simon & garfunkel, lana del rey, bowie.

i'm a massive hopeless romantic - although i've never been in a relationship -and it doesn't help that i watch like a rom com a week 😭. my love language is physical touch or quality time.

my favourite things in the world are my cd collection & my family <3 (cd collection comes first ofc lol)

I'm feeling very Sirius with the astronomy and art.

I think that he would love quality time and just listening to music and talking. I think when you two first meet he would notice you getting anxious and next time he saw you he'd really try to make you comfortable and as you two got closer you'd be much more comfortable being around him and also being very close (physical touch girlies unite). I think you'd exchange music together, and you'd sneak each other into your house's common rooms. I think he'd be very caring and romantic, trying to rival all your romcom love interests. and if you think he's not using some crazy kind of magic to talk to you all night long you're crazy. Oh my god and he's cast a spell so you can watch a projection of the night sky on the canopy over your bed. And if you're ever feeling homesick he'll make it a projection of the sky over your home. <3<3<3 He's just adorable and in love

[thenicanbeaphantomx]

my review of Midnights that nobody wanted but everyone’s getting

Lavender Haze: sets the stage for the different vibe of the album but also has “I Think He Knows” vibes. was tapping foot entire time

Maroon: beat slows down, but is still very pop-y. the sounds in the chorus gave me chills. almost haunting?? it doesn’t have one particular vibe idk

Anti-Hero: most vulnerable song I’ve ever heard from her while still remaining upbeat sounding. The Archer feeling to it. again with that different vibe. the line “sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby” threw me though I didn’t like that line lol idk I feel like I missed it. “did you hear my covert narcissism disguised as altruism like some kind of congressman” tho ok go off sis

Snow On The Beach: pretty sound. wished we could’ve heard more from Lana Del Rey other than background though. lyrics are super gorgeous. didn’t have a huge opinion on this one. probably my least favorite oddly enough

You’re On Your Own Kid: hurt my feelings tbh LOL obv it’s track 5 but like. it was too relatable. lots of vulnerability while still sounding upbeat like the others. has a lot of healing in it by the end of the song. the music in the bridge sounds so good I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise my God

Midnight Rain: might be my favorite song on the album. top 3 at least. what an absolute BANGER. the lyrics = fire. the sound = bathe me in it. the mood = exceptional “he was sunshine I was midnight” shut the fuck up that’s so good

Question…?: really needed a slower sad track and this gave it to me. sounds like insecurity in song form. she says the word “dickhead” and that gave me life

Vigilante Shit: reputation vibes. THANK GOD. tied with Midnight Rain for favorite song in the album. “draw the cat eyes sharp enough to kill a man” Taylor if you wanted me to die for you, you could’ve just asked. you didn’t have to do this, but the answer is yes. cocaine/drug reference too like wow ok we are GOING IN

Bejeweled: threw me off cause I was ready to fight with the last song and now we’re back to bopping but okay. reminded me of dreaming and you wake up and go back to sleep and the dream is different DOES THAT MAKE SENSE whatever ok yes very empowering and fun. want to be twirled to this song while dancing.

Labyrinth: this song is going to not get the credit it deserves, I can already tell. THIS SONG IS FOR THE ANXIOUS AND WERE GRATEFUL. high note is gonna be a bitch to sing along to but I’ll give it my best. “I’ll be getting over you my whole life” was way too profound. scared of elevators ? same. this song TRULY sounds like what an anxiety spike feels like ?? its?? so good??? made it to the top 3 battling for the top spot because OOF ITS SO GOOD

Karma: this grew on me ok I wasn’t into it initially but then I couldn’t help it I was jamming. “cause karma is my boyfriend” PREACH. the shade in it, the cat reference. it’s a solid song. I couldn’t hate it if I tried.

Sweet Nothing: slowed way down to start wrapping the album up. also didn’t win me over initially, but then the lyrics ruined my heart of ice. this song is what true love is. reminds me of a Sunday morning in New Orleans and I can’t describe it any other way

Mastermind: I don’t even have alot to say at this point. it’s so good. this song tied the album up beautifully. I absolutely LOVE the lyrics.

this album is good. I was terrified it was going to suck. I do this every-time because I didn’t like Lover that much, but this gave me everything in a pop album that Lover didn’t and wow. blessed. thanks Taylor we don’t deserve you. I usually don’t call a whole album a no skip album, but this one make take the crown (other than my beloved Reputation, OBVIOUSLY) the lyrics, the sound, were all a 10 from me.

Midnight Rain, Vigilante Shit & Labyrinth live rent free in my head now. thanks for coming to my Ted Talk