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#also i think im just tired from the bad sleep
yinyuedijun · 3 days
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okay maybe i’m toxic or didn’t pick up the hints but can you maybe elaborate more on what makes the readers behavior w aventurine manipulative? bc i feel like lwk i would do the same but i didn’t realize it was bad behavior 😭😭😭 like if he was saying stuff in his sleep i didn’t understand i would totally try to translate it 😭😭 and how they know he might not be comfortable w doing some things like teaching them avgin but asking anyway i took it as a bid for connection almost?? IDK im just gobsmacked bc i totally thought i was a healthy secure individual but if this is toxic behavior maybe im not 😭😭
FKDJSAKSHJA I won't lie anon I love getting chonky questions about my fics so thank you for reaching out about your confusion with this particular subject . in your defense I understand why it might be confusing on a first read because it IS fundamentally a story about two lovers wanting connection. the catch is that they are too messed up to actually achieve it in a mutual manner 😞
SADLY I must write an essay about this because I'm unbearable. but before I do I'd like to share screenshots from a couple of my readers (SHOUTOUT TO LEEHI ANON AND MIN !) that explains it succinctly
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okay now my unbearable essay
so basically. I think the mc's first weird thing that they did was wanting to know what aventurine was saying in his sleep and not just asking him LMFAOOO instead they fucking went about learning it in a roundabout way, without his permission, and just did not care about his boundaries gkdhdsldhsmsj
but while that is whack dishonest behaviour, the real crux of the manipulation in this dynamic is that the reader gave the impression to aventurine that he would be able to understand them better via language exchange, but they set him up for failure in this regard. from the outset, they had no intention of revealing anything about their inner world to him because they planned to deceive him in their native tongue. on the other hand, through learning aventurine's mother tongue, they are able to access a deeply vulnerable part of him. and they do it without him knowing.
so they use this knowledge of his mother tongue and his weakness to it to manipulate him into treating them better: crying in it to gain his pity (just as they did with their captors) and asking for gestures of affection using his language because they know he can't say no. they can use his first language to control him, but aventurine cannot do the same. it's very one-sided.
but as you said, it's ultimately a bid for connection. and they resort to this behaviour to achieve connection because, put frankly, aventurine has already created a one-sided dynamic where he has killed any potential for true connection. like tl;dr he really does treat them like garbage 😭😭😭 the mc just got kinda tired of that and wanted to girlboss him back so that he'd be actually affectionate to them. though they also just want to find a way to make him happy.
ANYWAY SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.... thank you for reading my fic . I appreciate you so much!!!!!!
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majorproblems77 · 20 hours
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Sacred realm, Sacred realm, Sacred realm!!!!!
OH BOY, I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE
Prepare yourself for the most excited screaming you've ever heard because this update is wonderful and I love it and I'm so excited about it that I'm writing this instead of sleeping and it will be worth it.
Set the clock its 12.45am lets see if I can do this before I have to go to bed for the morning shift.
Alright, now for the important stuff! Sacred realm belongs to @zelda-the-sacred-realm, and all art from the comics belongs to the comic artist. I've got their permission to do these!
Link to the comic can be found here! :D
Now, get some popcorn and if your like me probably an energy drink too and lets goooooo!
Firstly...
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HI
HELLO THERE
OH MY
Big evil big bad. Who's hair is stunning i could never ngl.
(Investigates)
It's awesome to see the black knight like this. (I believe that's right? Correct me if I'm wrong.)
Though im trying to figure out what he found unexpected? Is it Sky? Is Sky the unexpected thing? Good, No body expects the blorbo to come out of the medallion and whoop ass.
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Self-sacrificing boy please you are in pain
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Cinnamon roll link please i know you're not used to this, but he's got this
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He's so damn pretty dammit, pretty boy right here. Hylia chose him for his looks first, 10/10.
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Yesssssssssss
GET THEM! GET IT!
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THE FACT THAT THEY JUMP IN FRONT OF HIM IS GIVING ME SO MUCH LIFE THEY ARE LIKE PROTECTIVE UNCLES OF THE SMALL CINAMON ROLL.
Like low key look how Sky is moving he's pushing towards time but moving more to the right to do so then time is. Which would indicate that he's moved rather quickly to get in front of this thing.
They have to protect the small hero and it gives me life.
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Okay, this all but confirms this isn't the first time they've done this.
Oh and it has to be said
BY THE POWER OF STUBBORN FRIENDSHIP!
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That's a practised spell
(using a few panels from this update here) Chapter 4 - part 1
So, I think that the last time the spirits gathered was sometime around when Twilight was still alive, we know that Time had direct contact with Twilight because of the comic panels in the last update.
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We also know that Time recognised Sky when he first appeared in the last update.
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So there one of two explanations
The medallion or something akin to it has been used in a previous hero's journey. And so some of the spirit already know each other
Or being a spirit grants them foresight that they can just fight with each other like this.
Im more inclined to lean towards the first one at this stage because of that recognition from time but to be honest I think we need to meet Twilight first before we get any answers about that.
I am also going to assume the element that time yields is Electricity (Or time haha.)
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It looks like lightning, but we've also seen him use a time spell so I'm not entirely sure at this stage.
Gonna lean towards lighting tho, it suits him
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YEAH GET HIM!
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He looks so tired, and the lines against him have been growing longer. I assume its more and more of the barrier sucking his energy away.
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Pretty boy alert
i am once again an advocate for the Sky is the Best Bean Club he just needs a nap he's going to be fine
Also, Medalion jails for Sky because he's eepy.
I assume this is how we are going to keep Sky out of this arch, he is too tired and is resting from doing this now. I hope we see you soon blorbo!
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HA
This made me chuckle, Time just grabbing him by the waist like the child he is brings me joy (Im aware Link isn't a child but he is in the cinnamon roll outfit right now so he is a child)
And time is older than him and is at current the only one who can help with the current predicament.
We interupt the end of this post for a Sky appreciation segment because he is the best bean and is my blorbo and got a bunch of great panels this update
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He
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Being the hero
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Jumping into harm's way
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The face of determination
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He
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Sleepy
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Sleepy boy we got sleepy sky and I love him
Okay im done, We shall get back to the end now.
That's everything from me! :D
I hope you enjoyed my rambling please do let me know if you spotted anything I didn't! Thanks for hanging out with me and for uhh, also hanging out as I yell excitedly about my blorbo because, to be honest, I love him and it wouldn't be something from me if I didn't soooo....
Yeah!
Thanks again to the artist for letting me do this! I really appreciate it!
Have a great night!
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bingobongobonko · 1 month
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in that sort of mood where everything is making me angry and also i might kill people... also music sounds bad. urch. wild animal moments of mine
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darcyolsson · 2 months
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goodnight tumblr if you see me online after this you should send someone to whack me over the head with a cartoonishly large hammer
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saeshiraw · 8 months
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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wastelandhell · 1 year
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deranged rambling
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potatobugz · 2 years
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Top ten things to do instead of doing the things u were supposed to do today, number one, draw out a scene from This Fic on Ao3 (specifically from chapter 8 but I do recommend reading tha whole thing if it interests you cuz. It's good :])
Hello society,. I have been rotating this around in my brain for a bit and was dying to draw it. So I am holding this out to you like how a cat brings u dead stuff as a gift
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autism-corner · 2 months
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guy is noticing his depression coming back, but will not do anything about it.
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carrieway · 6 months
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i just think ghosting someone should be illegal
#esp if the person has bpd . no this isnt about me (it is)#it's just bad boss#ive slowly gotten better at trying not to think about the person but alas . they're appearing in my nightmares .#not much i can do about that besides feeling awful n just trying not to sleep after#idk ! idk i tried . i tried to not be like a previous friend i had who was rlly gross n manipulative to me#whilst Also being much older (i was seventeen n they were twenty four or twenty six i dont remember)#idk. ethan says i wasnt bad but its still gripping onto my brain yknow#also it just sucks being ghosted sucks this is the second time it's happened from someone i trusted#[united states of whatever voice] whatever#(it's more like . Wuhtevr .)#nothing i can do but cope with random f/n/af videos#im watching a person i like try to be sister l/o/cation blindfolded :] they're doing well even with how hard it is#i cant even beat night four Seeing things (well barely seeing things bc its so dark i genuinely cant see)#so it's rlly neat . also i know how to skip the night now bc of a joke he made >:D#also to anyone reading this i am not trying to come across as like Woe Is Me Feel Bad For Me bc like ew#NDNDNDN my tone is very just flat n matter of fact rather than trying to garner sympathy#but also i dont necessarily think it's bad to want sympathy however i dislike it when people go about it in such a way#where it's like . being down on themselves to such an amount that you Know they're playing it up . does that make sense#idk . im saying nothing <3 n im very tired n doing bad so im not making much sense my apologies#does a ditty before kickflipping my way back to f/n/af video world#blabs
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arcadequeerz · 3 months
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Oh mind electric we're really in it now.
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ezraphobicsoup · 6 months
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in my defernce i woke up at 3 after falling asleep i don’t know when and i needed to get changed so actually this is FINE but i might as well do some work while i’m awake. that is if i needed defending anyway
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terriblelizbians · 7 months
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whenever im really really stressed and too scared to open my computer bc there’s deadlines in there, and then i finally peek at my email and there’s something saying the deadline has been pushed back. oh it does something bad to my brain. but good to my heart...
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united-under-skyfall · 5 months
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.
#i think one thing i really didn't prepare for w overnights is just how fucking lonely it is. like yeah 80% of the reason i took it was to#get away from customers but like. it worked. and the night shift team is v v small. there's only 4 of us and we've never been scheduled all#at once yet. and usually we're running around on completely opposite ends of the building going long periods of time without#radioing each other. and then i come home all amped up and the rest of my house is still asleep. and then when they wake up#it's just to get ready and go and we don't really have time to talk. and by the time they get back i'm sleeping#and it's my first night off and i can't fuck up my whole schedule i worked so hard to switch over to w them flipping me all over the place#so now i'm just like. sitting in the half light trying not to wake anybody up not doing anything. the only places near us open are#gas stations and i can't exactly loiter there and what would i do even if i could. and it's too cold to go for a walk or to the park#or something. and i feel like i haven't talked to another human being about something that wasn't related to work in years#and it's only been a week.#and we can listen to music or podcasts or something but our carts and machines are so loud you miss half of it. and we can't hold#super long conversations when we ARE in the same room for the same reasons. plus we all want to die so none of us feel like talking.#and just. im tired and lonely and want to sleep and im already regretting this but i'd feel bad for backing out now when they have so#few options and i volunteered for it in the first place#and then there's also like. even just doing my usual solitary thing at home feels so much more isolated bc there's not the noises#of other people existing nearby. the nearest signs of life are some coughing and then a car on the other side of the block#just. what am i even doing here.#tag ramble
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pepprs · 1 year
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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horrorwebs · 2 years
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fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is
#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were#messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment#i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an#excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol)#she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say'#understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our#relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)#anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i#didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things +#told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know)#my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good#and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good??#but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling#i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her#badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well#which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this.#ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD#THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND#HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!!#and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an#we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i#want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh#its exhausting liking someone huh#loveposting#spikeposting#if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#feelin weird. feelin real weird. in a bad way? no i guess not but more like im a haha wtf is happening here?#like i should maybe track my mood just so i can be like wtf is this? more bc i think its interesting#bc like i mean im spending ~11hrs in the lab and the stress has been real high and ive not been sleeping well#but like currently? i feel like i wanna run a mile. like i wanna run around in circles and scream and laugh until i cry#too much energy. too much energy. but y? where is it coming from? its weird#its like the edge of a headache. the cusp of turning. it doesn't quite feel bad yet but like i woke up at 4#and was insane until 6 when i had to get up and then i was in the lab all day until 6.30#and immediately i went for a run like empty stomach. i need to run now. and i still feel like that. like i need to run and run and run#but like y am i not exhausted? im not even tired? im vibrating#i watched the new successi0n episode twice and im losing my mind abt it#so its weird and i dont understand. but its not bad. it feels out of control like it feels fucked up but im not being like irradic#like if i was standing beside someone i dont think theyd notice. except maybe my sister bc i think if i talked id be noticeable#energetic. idk maybe im just exhausted and brain is pumping me with stress hormones so i csnt stop but i also csnt feel it#but i suspect its something to do with estrogen and progesterone levels changing which isnt great bc ive got a cycle that borders being#concerningly short but like idk rn its fun. im sure itll break and ill split apart but rn everything feels hilarious#its also weird bc im always like: y do i have so much energy after i dont sleep? is not sleeping thr answer. and today i was like hm#maybe i cant sleep bc i have too much energy. hm. idk its not bad. it doesn't feel bad#it just feels interesting and notable so im noting it. weird stuff. hopefully it pulls me thru tomorrow#bc my back fucking hurts lmao and its monday so ppl r back in the lab as i stand around for 11 hours#unrelated
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