#also i was a little bit gay for her but that was actually unrelated

[yardsards]

that time when i was like 12 years old at girl scout camp and this girl in my troop saw me going to bed listening to my mp3 player. and she started fussing over me because she was worried i would get my headphones wrapped around my throat in my sleep. and i told her i fell asleep listening to music like that every night and nothing bad ever happened but i promised to take them off before i fell asleep that night anyway. and she looked so relieved at that

and for couple weeks after that, every time i listened to music before falling asleep i remembered that girl and felt warm inside. cuz it was so nice to have someone care about my safety that much even if the thing she was fussing about wasn't actually dangerous at all. because i was just THAT starved for anybody to care about my well-being

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

[1moreff-creator]

Happy birthday to Min Jeung, the Ultimate Student!

As you may have noticed by my blog name and pfp, I relate to this girl more than what is probably considered healthy. I wanted to show appreciation by talking about her a bit in a half-baked character analysis, and explaining why I find her so amazing!

-Despite being the Ultimate Student, and by her own admission having dedicated her entire life to her talent, she isn't just a souless studying machine. She still makes time to participate in various school clubs and even has a procrastination problem. She is outright offended when Xander insinuates she must have no friends because of her talent. In this, she just like me fr.

-Despite excelling in academics, she has grown to dislike and resent the education system for the seemingly endless amount of information it forces its students to memorize without actually learning anything of value. In this, she just like me fr. Additionally, this fuels her surprisingly interesting dynamic with Xander, one which I may have to cover in another post. Wouldn't want you getting distracted from my post about the birthday girl with thoughts of the pretty British boy.

-Her studious nature has developed into an unrelenting curiosity for the most random shit you can imagine. One of her favorite pastimes is, after all, browsing W*******a articles. Because of this, her knowledge seems to know no rhyme or reason, as she is both perfectly capable of explaining the entire process of baking a cake down to the molecular level, while also not knowing anything about milk beyond how good it tastes. Yes, this is mostly based on that one joke, but in case you can't tell, there's not much info we have to analyse her character with and I'm also sort of projecting really hard. In this, she just like me fr.

-One of these peculiar curiosities are insects and other critters. She decorates cookies with centipedes, collects insects, and her character profile states she likes tarantulas (not an insect, but you know). I chose to believe this means she is a Ghost & Pals fan, and yes that's me projecting again. I, too, am obssessed with funky little animals, so in this, she just like me fr.

-She dislikes children. Based.

-She is kind and patient and maybe a little gay, helping Unnamed Classmate study for a test they are clearly not ready for. Although she can get exasperated by the other's laizzes faire approach to studying, she still puts up with it for her friend. In this, she just like me fr.

-She suffers from pretty bad impostor syndrome, not considering herself on the same level as other Ultimates because of the way she was accepted in. She seems comfortable hanging out with them, but deep down doesn't believe she deserves it. In this, she... isn't like me fr, thankfully. Dodged that trauma.

-Her impostor syndrome is only exacerbated by the fact she doesn't believe she was the highest scoring of the Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students, just the one that best fit the ideal of "Ultimate Student". She sees that as a badge of shame, as she considers herself neither the smartest nor the most knowledgeable from those who took the test. Especially if her secret is the one about poisoning the competition, as many believe. This highlights the needless competitiveness of the school system, where even the students doing well can sometimes feel insufficient or dissapointed if they are not the absolute top of their class, or they don't perform perfectly at every opportunity. ...she just like me fr-

-She feels uncertain of her future, as being the Ultimate Student does not seem to guarantee any kind of future success, nor does it help her narrow down what she wants to do in the future. This is a great representation of a common fear and worry of top students, who worry having so much of their life be defined by their excellence in academics will mean they won't know what to do with themselves once they stop studying. Well, I say it's common, but maybe it's just Min and I, because in this she just like me fr. I assure you, I am fine.

-She didn't mean to kill Xander. How tragic, for someone whose entire life was defined by the pressure to never make a mistake, to never fail and especially not fail that Contest for Eminent Students, who was promised a bright future if she only gave up her present and her past to a souless system that does not truly care about her; to have that future ripped out from her, just because of one mistake. She only wanted to save Teruko...

-Fukc Danganronap asdkanej I wil why did this happen why she was so great and smart and I loved her and fuak's sake why why why. She's the first killer death that hurt me the most, by far, and her hug with Teruko actually fucking destroyed me aaaaahhhh-

-I love DRDT so much, and thank it for being able to live up to its name and giving me the despair I crave. Although Min's death made me sad, it made me sad in the good way, and I thoroughly enjoyed her character as long as she lasted. She may be the best written first chapter death I've ever seen! :D

Now please let Veronika live past chapter 3-

Anyways, thanks for reading, and happy birthday to Min Jeung! I will go cry now.

Bonus: Here's just a few songs that remind me of her. You may not be able to tell, but I like Vocaloid.

+Abnormality Dancin' Girl by Guchiry

+Lost One's Weeping by Neru

+Aishite by Kikuo

+Entomologists by Ghost & Pals

+Star of the Show by Ghost & Pals

+Pathological Facade by Ghost & Pals

+Appetite of a People-Pleaser by, guess who, Ghost & Pals

+Marionette by KIRA

+Meltdown by iroha(sasaki)

And of course,

+Happy Birthday!

[getlancered]

welcome to my 1 million turnabout bigtop headcanons

russell berry:

actual personality description because in the game he just kind of dies. stoic, generally serious man. bit of a blank slate to talk to. secretly TERRIFIED of confrontation, will do just about anything he can to avoid every problem in his life. this is not to be confused with avoiding responsibility, because he is the bossiest motherfucker around besides maybe trilo. runs the circus with an iron fist. no problems to fix if you never let them happen in the first place!

AUTISM

british weirdo

actually pretty connected in the entertainment industry

when he’s not wearing a suit he usually wears sweaters

takes first impressions so so seriously

DEAD wife that hes still not over

her death is unrelated to the circus because i think he wouldve shut that down in one singular second if it was

the circus was a passion project of her and moe’s, but russell was the only one competent enough with money and people that he ended up basically running it. neither of them wanted to do the technicalities

he wont consider his sexuality because he only loves his dead wife

moe:

nickname comes from highschool and the shit he used to get into, fabricated an identity to some stranger after vandalizing their house and it just stuck

took “class clown” a little too seriously

used to be an actual stand up comedian but being a party clown is just wayyyy easier

manchild. very silly and not serious all the time. completely aware of it by the way and encourages whimsy in the world

most insufferable case of hyperactive ADHD in the world

cannot sit normally anywhere ever

has many little odd hobbies

owns a bunch of really stupid graphic/text tshirts that do not apply to him in the slightest

likes to carry around those little plastic toys with the metal ball and a maze that u tilt around to solve. also those little water games where u push the button to try and get the rings on the hook. do u guys know what im talking about

can and will juggle any 3 items he can get his hands on

clings to russell all the time. follows him around. absolutely hates being alone so russell is his solution

gay as fuck for russell berry. this is not a secret. at all.

helped russell out with regina quite a bit, esp after his wife died

fine at confrontation unless it is of his own emotional issues

max galactia’s #1 hater

regina berry:

AUTISM

british loser too but fakes a french accent because it’s cuter and more posh

very good at imitating accents!

absolutely not mentally 16. very ditzy and carefree and childish

is not at all prepared for genuine reality because she was raised and surrounded her entire life by the members of the circus

very athletic!

has personalities for each of her animals and talks to/treats them like people

her mom died when she was 6, this is where her belief of dead people being stars comes from because russell genuinely could not tell her the truth

also why she wasn’t that upset about her lion or bat

closest to acro in the circus and still considers them to be best friends despite acro genuinely despising her

automatically assumes everyone is her friend unless they do or say something that shows otherwise

moe calls her “tiger” because she got facepaint as a kid and kept it on for days while acting like a tiger

amazing gift-giver

crow girl. drawn to anything and everything sparkly

enjoys those really elaborate lego sets

ben/trilo:

ft my backstory headcanon for how he entered the circus because its never established

AUTISM

trilo is ben’s non-loser persona essentially

ben has had severe social anxiety since childhood

^ where the stutter comes from

met moe as a teenager at his little sisters birthday party, was genuinely curious about how he can just go up on a stage in such a ridiculous get-up. talk to people. be social. he did not get it

when russell started the circus, he wanted to join and gtfo from his house

probably the neglected child to his little sister i think

joined the circus shortly after regina was born and was kind of the de facto babysitter so he considers regina his actual little sister (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.)

trilo was created for regina when she was born. ben was kind of like a babysitter to her and made up a gag with this puppet and slapstick comedy to keep baby regina entertained. the whole circus loved it and trilo stuck!

what was once a coping mechanism became a depedancy. the only people he can speak to without trilo are the circus members

because he and the circus treats trilo like a completely separate being for his act and for regina, he never worked up the nerve to talk to people. there was no practice there because trilo isn’t him

doesn’t absolutely despise max because max is essentially like if moe was less obnoxious. flamboyant and outgoing and actually helpful!

great impressionist

max galactica:

entered the entertainment industry as a teenager after being scouted in high-school

genuinely does not give two shits about what other people think about him because he knows theyre all wrong. self-centered asshole

BAAAD anger issues. frequently smashes plates over dinner arguments. raises his voice quickly

only person spared from his eternal rage is regina berry

not getting his way makes him like genuinely upset

loves to threaten to quit to make everyone do what he wants

probably some sort of personality disorder

in a beautiful world he goes to therapy

he does actually genuinely want them to all be better performers but he’s literally terrible at showing it LMAO

lover of really obnoxious and clearly fabricated reality TV

massive drama whore. gossiper like no other.

the worst cook you’ve ever met in your life

drag queen!

into loser men (benjamin woodman)

acro/ken:

AUTISM

would both kill and die for every single member of the circus

including regina. not the kind of person to ever hold such a deep grudge so this is a first for him and he has very mixed feelings about it all

he gets physical therapy and his life is better ♥️

very emotional but great at regulating his feelings and self reflection. also great poker face!

terrible at accepting anyones act of kindness no matter how big or small. feels like he always has to pay everything back

tends to hide himself away if he is genuinely upset enough to the point of not being able to hide it

extremely observant person. in both behaviors and physical settings. always knows what to look for and what is out of place

very blunt but not. rude. just sort of speaks his thoughts and feelings. either honest about what he feels or dead silent

terrible liar

“will listen to anything” music kind of guy

actually quite prideful but like. in a healthy way.

tanktop wearer duh this we know but just generally a hater towards long sleeved shirts

decent artist! fun little hobby for him

[fortheloveofexy]

I LOVE jerjean but it would be funny it it was about jean’s story but instead of what the majority of fandom wants (jerjean) it’s actually about Renee/Jean and Jeremy&Jean friendship ☠️ I think I would die from laughter cuz of the irony

Fingers crossed for jerjean tho but I don’t want to get my hopes up so maybe it’s a new series? 👀 or sth completely unrelated?

(Also i apologise for spamming you hah)

LMAO tbh if it was a Renee/Jean focused story I probably wouldn't read it. My little renison heart could not take it!!

Either way she'd be retconning her own EC though since in the EC she mentioned Renee and Jean were just friends and Renee married some guy from the Peace Corps. So if she's actually going to do this and retcon EC content, she might as well make it ✨gay✨

Most likely though, it's a totally new series! She hasn't written anything for AFTG in a long time so it would be a bit surprising for her to come back to it now.

[hot-take-tournament]

Hi, the one anon with a stalker story here. Basically, it started around February of this year, sort of. I, a cringefail lesbian wasn't exactly going out with a girl, but we mutually like each other, so I was gonna ask her to the Sadie's dance that was soon, but my almost-stalker did, I had a little thing of self-discovery, but the important thing from this was my almost-stalker and I both liked her, but it was a thing of us both wanting her to be happy (tbh I felt like I got led on, but I learned later they went as friends). Anyways, after my almost-stalker also got her heart broken by this girl, we talked for a bit, we shared a class (choir). I heard that she was kind of weird and creepy, but it was a thing of not judging people before I met them. The first red flag was the fact that she knew where most of her friends live, only because of the location feature on snapchat, even having pictures of their houses, a lot of which without the knowledge of the person. A few days later, I was waiting for my friend after school, because they live near me and we go home together (they let their girlfriend drive their car to a clinic nearby because she was going into a medical field and worked there for experience) and my almost-stalker was there, near a rock pit (kind of important, I promise). So, because me and my friend and my almost-stalker are a group of gays, we were looking around the rock pit, picking up pretty rocks. As a small sign of friendship, I gave my almost-stalker a pretty rock I found. Later, she got my number from a friend. That evening, she was texting me, and said that she liked me (specifically, one of the questions of "what would you do if I liked you"), so I replied as kindly as I could, saying I didn't like her back. A half hour later, she was asking where I lived. After two answers of just the town I was in and the area nearby she said "It's OK. I will only watch you through you windows" (actual quote from her). I am a very paranoid person, and I was getting VERY nervous, texting two of my friends about it (the one who gave my phone number to her and another friend mostly unrelated with the incident). The one friend who gave my number (who was apparently high at the time) was joking about giving her my address because "it would be funny". So there I was, crying, hands shaking texting my other friend how scared I was about it. I kind of just didn't reply to my almost-stalker, though she was trying to find out where I lived still, through something I said. I haven't really talked to the girl since, though I tried my best to get a sick day because of how terrified I was of going to school the next day. I'm fine, a little paranoid still, but fine 👍 (sorry this is so long)

i've never had a stalker, so i can't say i know exactly what that's like - but i think i can relate to that feeling of paranoia

over the past couple years i've lived in some dangerous areas, and i've had people jump me in the street, wait for me outside buildings, and follow me home; and sometimes i feel as though i'll spend the rest of my life never being truly safe

it's an awful feeling, and i wouldn't wish it on anyone

i know you sent this months ago now, so i don't know if you'll read this, and i'm really sorry for not responding when you first sent this; but i hope you're still doing okay <3

[lazaruspiss]

the batman page is all snippets from i think old forums (1992-2007), which is interesting! but not really a source. i remember seeing a comic page once possibly years ago where bruce says that hes a catholic turned atheist but cant for the life of me figure out where that would be from.

screenshotting any comic names i find bc uh. sunken cost fallacy or something. nothing to do with any lapsed catholic angst. totally.

also when was batman scottish. like this is an absolute first im hearing about this.

and this is an interesting bit. unrelated to religion but interesting nonetheless.

this one i just think is funny. also i know jewish bruce is popular bc smth smth his mom may have technically been jewish. only provable via maternal cousin but like. right. you could technically argue for it technically being accidentally canon. i have 2 things to say on it (but i will preface with im not jewish myself, so like. dont take me as a source or anything)

1) the amount of random moments and quotes that allude to christianity and/or atheism are both more present and go back further

2) catholicism (and the rest of america) is patriarchal. catholic dad means those kids are raised at least some kind of christian in most cases

(and a bonus third point. really? i get wanting rep, but bruce? why would you want him of all people.)

(wait. wait bonus forth point. what is with the people bringing up kate being jewish, not so that they can talk about her being jewish, but instead so that they can talk about bruce potentially being jewish. like whats up with that.)

oh and as far as i know both catholics and jews do circumcision. so the one thing we do know is that hes cut lol

holy shit is it fun reading a bunch of comic book nerds arguing with each other about religion. ive just barely hit the halfway point.

i feel like ive seen similar conversations happen throughout bruces comic appearances. cant really die on any hill until i actually read the books though.

"the majority of people from [place] are [religion]" is NOT a source forum user "commish"

the sites notes correcting the forum users are so funny

not posting screenshots but oh my god the debate about whether theres more gay rep than christian rep in DC in 2006.

oh and theres the explicit antisemitism. im almost surprised it took until 2006 for people to start talking about how they hate minorities.

they added a note just to bring up this guys icon i know it

wait no that sounds adorable. wheres my angel bat daughter helping the homeless and pounding down on bad guys. auhg. i finally find a batgirl story i might be interested in and its just a scrapped concept. sob. "a little bit old testament" why is that cute...... everyone shut up im caring about cass for the first time rn

[my-castles-crumbling]

Helloooo!!! I haven’t had tumblr for super long and you’re my first and only so far which makes me very happy :) I love your writing!

Anywho, I’m in Europe for the first time rn!!! I’m studying abroad with my university and I’m having so much fun. However, I’m feeling a little weird about a new friend I made and I definitely need to tell someone unrelated but also am very willing to accept advise or comments if you have anything to share lol. On the first night of my trip, I was hanging out with one of my trip mates (just the two of us) and we talked for a few hours on the roof of our hotel. It was really nice and we just kind of clicked. We’ve been sticking together since then and have both talked about our sexualities (she’s gay and I, a female, am queer but like women). She’s talked about how she platonically kisses her best friend when they’re drunk and I’ve talked about how I think friends can kiss friends.

So the other night we’re at a pub and she’s drinking a bit but I’m not drinking much at all. One of her fends back home was talking to her about how they think they like someone but feel like since they don’t think about kissing them often that they don’t actually like them. I am offered the idea that it’s all about how you view kissing because for me it’s not a strictly romantic thing so sometimes I like people but don’t think about kissing them because that’s not a huge factor for me. Like just because I don’t have to have romantic feelings to kiss someone and vice versa. My friend relayed this to her friend and then we pretty much moved on from it. There was a few times when she was texting her friend and obviously turning her phone away from me but I was trying not to think about it too hard.

When we got back to our hotel a few hours later, and she sent me a text while I was in the shower that said “hey I have a question about what you said to me friend. Do you have romantic feelings for me?” We’re currently in the same room with two other girls so it wasn’t like I could go over and talk to her about it and figure out why. But I just got so uncomfortable in the moment and ignored it until we all went to bed. In the morning, I didn’t really know what to do so I kept ignoring it and avoided her a little bit which is easy to do because we’re in a large group but also we’ve been spending so much time together that I think she could tell. Eventually, we hung out a bit while we were walking around the city but still not as much. I’m not sure how I feel about the situation and I’m also just not sure where she was going with that line of questioning. She was definitely drunk when she texted me so I don’t even know if I should have acknowledged it or not. I feel like it’ll be okay if we just never talk about it.

Additional possibly important information: we are both physically affectionate people so on your two hour plane ride and one hour bus ride she was laying on my shoulder and holding onto my arm. She held my hand during the plane ride. She’s pretty much initiated any physical contact we’ve had because I never do with anyone but always return it as soon as the option has been presented to me. She also always tends to find me. She’s always standing near me even if I’m talking to other people. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not but she also always ends up with going where I go when our big group splits up. I think this makes me a little uneasy but I also don’t think it’s that big of a deal because I enjoy hanging out with her.

I’m just not sure what to do but talking about this to her sounds absolute horrible. If you have nothing to add then that’s just fine, I think I might have just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading if you did :) I love how much you interact with all of us and I know we all greatly appreciate it <3

Hi!!

This definitely is confusing and I can understand why you’re probably confused as well. I guess my question is- what do YOU want? How do YOU feel? Because I think that really affects how you should go from here, you know?

Naming you studying abroad anon!

[zonaenthusiast]

i honestly don't understand why the notion of "ship and let ship" is so alien to some people, especially to the m/m shippers. like, it's great if you ship zoro with other male characters and hc him as exclusively gay, but saying that your ship was actually intended to be romantic and then turning and calling zonami shippers delusional is simply hypocritical.

i don't know about manga and anime, so sure, maybe in manga zoro loves luffy the most and luffy is his priority or has the most chemistry with sanji... but in live action, it seems that nami means as much to zoro as luffy and sanji do. and that's because they try to make nami as important as the male characters are, so naturally her bond with other characters is not going to be downplayed.

sorry to be ranting in your ask box, just saw biphobic antis bitch about zonami on twitter 😭

YOU REALLY CAME TO MY INBOX AND DECIDED TO SPEAK THE TRUTH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS RANT BECAUSE IT NEEDED TO BE SAID

I have a theory about a certain sector of m/m shippers (the delulus), not only from One Piece but as something that happens in other fandoms as well, and that is that usually their fanaticism is rooted in one of three things: misogyny, biphobia or a simple fetish.

I've mentioned before that one of the things that makes Zoro my favorite One Piece character is that he has the most dynamics and relationships with other characters, men and women, that I personally like. Some of them I perceive in a potentially romantic way if they were in any other story, others I don't. I ship Zoro with several people, (again) men and women, Nami is just one of them and my personal favorite. Same with her. And I know that it's my headcanon and it's almost sure none of them are going to happen. Some people have other headcanons and that's perfectly fine as well as long as they know, as I do, that they are just that. That's why it's fun! You can play with these things because nothing is set in stone!

I guess for what you say in the second paragraph that you only have watched the live action. I've said this a couple of times, Zoro and Nami's relationship in the manga is much more subtle compared to Zoro's relationships with Luffy and Sanji or Nami's relationships with Luffy and Usopp, for example. But it's there, it's there since the very beginning and it's there especially since Arlong Park.

But one thing I've never been able to understand is that this fandom is able to so lightly forget that the two of them were the first two people to join Luffy. They have been together since chapter 10 of the manga, chapter 10 of 1093 to date. Do people really believe that there is no affection and respect for each other? Do they truly think there's not a bond between them? Why is this ship so weird to them when no sexuality has been established in canon?

The biphobia is rampant in general and it shows, I'm so tired. This is kind of unrelated to OP but it makes me so angry to remember what the lgbt community itself did to Kit Connor, actor of Heartstopper, last year and what has been said about his character after the second season.

Bonus: it's also interesting what you said because I recently read someone on twitter saying that Nami was pretty much a co-protagonist during the first two sagas (East Blue and Arabasta) and no so much afterwards... and I think they might be right. It's a little bit difficult to explain and we could debate for hours about it, I'll just leave this here so you all can think about it.

[kitkatt0430]

4, 8, and 30?

4.) Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

I don't have a whole lot of OCs, and they do tend to be more supporting characters than main when I write them.

Jay Garrick, from Complicated and Messy, is an OC (if based loosely off the canon Jay Garrick from the comics to some degree) and I will get back to him eventually. The real Flash of Earth 2, twin brother of the villainous Hunter Zolomon, and rather traumatized from the time he spent in the iron mask while trapped in his brother's lair. He's currently depowered, but I do have plans to fix that. He's gay, unlike the canon Jay Garrick of both the show and the comics, and used to have his own small lab where he managed to do science impressive enough that STAR Labs - and thus Harrison Wells - was quite interested.

I've actually got another story in mind for him, entirely unrelated to Complicated and Messy, where Jay ended up working at STAR Labs because Harry didn't give a damn about him having an evil twin. He and Harry wind up friends and Harry is who Jay goes to when he discovers his speed post accelerator incident. It'd be a Jay/Harry fic, where Harry realizes pretty much immediately that the Jay he meets on E1 is damn well not his Jay, but actually Hunter in disguise. But I've really only got broad strokes ideas for this fic, so it remains unwritten for now. (Alternatively Ronnie lives in this fic and proceeds to fix-it a few things... or they could be two separate fics, I'm still work shopping this a lot.)

I've also got Dawn and Jay Allen from Homeward, who'll eventually get more fics written about them. They're identical twins and the Earth-90 versions of the Tornado Twins, the children of Barry Allen and Tina McGee. In this 'verse their dad (not the E3 Jay Garrick) was who Hunter had kidnapped and imprisoned behind the iron mask and Barry of E1 helps him get home. Dawn is trans - something that wasn't directly mentioned in Homeward though I did try to hint at it a bit - and both she and her brother do hold a strong resemblance to E1 Barry, whom they've both will come to see as a sort of older brother figure pretty quick.

Herobard probably counts as an OC too. The Eobard Thawne of the new timeline created when Wellsobard messed too hard with the timeline. He's well adjusted, is at times more father than brother to his sibling Robern (after their parents died when Eo was 16 and Robern was 6), and perhaps a little too eager to time travel to meet his heroes... thought at least he did intend to meet them from a distance to prevent any interference. Intentions that did not last, but only because he wants to protect the timeline. And, well, Barry's pretty cute, kind of hard for any version of Eobard Thawne to stay away.

8.) How slow is a slow burn?

Slow enough to feel natural without dragging anything down. I do enjoy a well paced slow burn, but go too slow and it starts to feel like it's being slow for the sake of dragging things out and not because it actually makes sense. So depending on the fic this could be the entire story or just part of it, but as long as it doesn't feel like characterization or plot are being sacrificed on the slow burn alter...

I'm more likely to read slow burns than write them, but they can definitely be fun to write when the mood strikes me.

30.) Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

I had a fic idea for KotOR/KotOR 2 that heavily remixed both games up into a single plot. The Exile and Atton were a smuggling duo, Revan still had amnesia but no false memories like in the game (instead found wandering the lowest levels of Kashyyyk and semi-adopted by Jolee afterwards), and lots of other changes. I really liked the concept for it, but I think it was too ambitious for me at the time. I ended up dumping the file - something I perhaps regret a bit now, but it was frustrating me a lot to the point I did need to let it go. I still remember enough about what I was considering for it that I could bring it back as a fic series one day, but my interest in writing for that fandom comes and goes a lot so I doubt I'll be interested in it enough to do so.

[atanx]

any subnautica character headcanons? especially the side characters, they're my faves :]

Sorry anon im normally better at answering my asks :P but alas exams had two write two in a week :)) not fun but anyway! thank u sm for the ask <3

Hhh I have sooo many character hc i could write a novel anon alvnqjcoqofpqf (partly because i do have a wip all about the subnautica characters and the journey to 4546B + ensuing canon divergence but pssshhhh)

So I think I'm just gonna choose the characters I've thought the most about:

2ND OFFICER KEEN

I hc his name as Roman Keen - I saw it in the fic "Survivors" on Ao3 and honestly I think it's a really good fit :3

He's 28 and has been working for Alterra since he was 17, most of which has been with Captain Hollister, who has become somewhat of a parental figure for him. He joined because of a love for flying and space, which his family disapproved of, and so he doesn't get along great with them.

I hc him as genderfluid - on some days, he feels like a man, and on others, he feels like he had no gender at all. He hasn't got himself totally figured out and mostly uses he/him pronouns, being unsure about how he feels being adressed with other pronouns.

He's a gay disaster and crushes pretty easily and hiding that does not come easily to him, although he mostly manages. When he first sees Jochi Khasar, it's instant aesthetic attraction. He finds him fascinating, and Khasar seems to find him fascinating, too, since he starts flirting with him and they develop a relationship over the eighteen-ish month journey to 4546B.

He's ace, and although fine with talking about sex, isn't interested in having sex himself.

Even though he comes across as stiff, he's not actually all that stiff as a person. He is just very responsible and aware and is thus anxious to fulfil his responsibilities as 2nd Officer to the best of his abilities. For things unrelated to work, he is still responsible and mature but not a stick in the mud. He's a fan of adrenaline rushes and actually used to do illegal racing as a teen.

Keen works well under stress, but as soon as the stress abates enough, he will have a breakdown.

He has an annoying-sibling type relationship with CTO Yu >:33

CTO YU

I also liked the name "Emily Yu" from the same fic as before, and I hc that her Chinese name is "Yu Jian" with 'Jian' for strong, healthy.

She is 29, a year older than Keen, which she teases him with, and has been working on the Aurora for 4 years, since finishing her master in engineering with a focus on spacecraft engineering. She worked herself up the ladder by virtue of 1) having a master's degree 2) hard work and successful projects 3) spite (someone (rightfully) insulted one of her ideas once) and 4) a little bit of nepotism.

I hc her as a cis bi woman who uses she/her pronouns. She enjoys both more feminine and more masculine styles for herself, although her style is rather tame and doesn't become hyper-feminine or hyper-masculine. She doesn't like dresses.

She's into Berkely, with her first being sexually attracted to him and then also experiencing romantic attraction. She enjoys his sarcasm and teasing him.

Even though she likes to be silly she gets serious in serious situations. She has a tendency to think that her way is best and has worked over the years to curb that down and be more open to other people's thoughts. When she does truly firmly think that her way is better though, she will stick to that unless presented with a better option and will put everything into trying to make that work.

In very stressful situations she tends to... sort of zoom out, distancing herself from her emotions and achieving a strong focus to do what needs to be done. Afterwards, she struggles with feeling the impact of what was going on, sort of feeling like it happened to someone else. It's a mild sort of depersonalisation. She works well under stress in general but needs some time to recuperate and destress. If she doesn't, her body will respond to the stress via tense and pulled muscles, headaches, stress-rashes etc.

BERKELEY

I don't have a particular reason why but I hc his first name as 'Cedric'. Honestly not too sure on that, if I find one that clicks more for me I might pivot to using that but this is what I've got for now!

He's 27 and he is not a routine member of the Aurora staff. Instead, he is part of the extra engineers meant to oversee construction of the phasegate at 4546B and hadn't met anyone from the Aurora before. He has a Bachelor in engineering but found studying so unpleasant he decided he was not going to go for a master and instead started and apprenticeship into job on a spacestation relating to phasegate maintenance.

He is intersex, which wasn't noticeable until puberty when he started developing boobs. Because he identifies as a man (he uses he/xey pronouns), he decided to opt for puberty blockers and later hormone therapy. He would have been fine with his boobs but society made him feel really shitty about them and he got top surgery.

He works out very regularly because it makes him feel good and enjoys jewelry and make-up, although he hates bracelets that move because he hates the sensation of them moving and bumping along his forearms whenever he has to tinker with something. He is somewhat introverted, not caring all that much for social interaction, and indulges in sarcasm a lot. He doesn't like the feel of long hair so he always wears it in a buzzcut. He's also chubby and built like a (short) bear.

He actually doesn't cope with stress well at all and only made it through school and a Bachelor's degree by luck, a lot of caffeine and the knowledge that if he doesn't manage at least a Bachelor's, finding a decent-paying job he likes will be very hard in Alterra-space. He finds it preferable to listen to others although not uncritically.

At first Emily annoys him to no end but as he gets to know her better (and she also tones it down) the annoyance changes to fondness. They become good friends and he eventually falls in love with her. He is pan and demi-romantic.

[newcontinent]

ot4

okay so i made this largely ryden/polypanic reclist before i know, but i wanted to make a complete list of all my favourite longer ot4 fics as well as just smut. it’s fair to say this list is extensive and ever-expanding. enjoy!

(note: it’s safe to assume all these fics are nc-17 unless otherwise stated)

***

a sense of touch by liketheroad (16,000, rated PG)

from the very beginning, slowly at first but always steadily growing towards more, they touched. so much and eventually so without thought that they never had to wonder why it felt wrong when they didn’t, because that itself happened so infrequently.

(this is so so lovely it makes me cry tbh. canon compliant and delicate and wonderful)

all in by fictionalaspect (8000)

"last person still in wins the pot," jon says. he finishes with a flourish, folding up his two pieces of paper and dropping them on top of the folded twenty at the bottom of their empty weed jar.

brendon pushes his hair out of his eyes, bites his lip, and stares at his two scraps of paper. he writes the first two things that come to mind.

(well written, well read, well loved. brendon gets rimmed, ryan wears lingerie, we’re all happy)

be(side) the sea by liketheroad (21,000, rated T)

ryan and spencer grow up on a lonely island by the sea, two against the world, and then comes jon walker to make it three.

(and then brendon arrives too! this is so sad in places but exceptionally pretty in others and i just really really like it)

burn up in love love love by dsudis (12,000)

miss you miss you miss you

(who knew jon getting gang banged could be so sweet??)

circus verse by mokuyoubi (38,000 altogether)

spencer and ryan are part of pete's travelling circus. jon and brendon come for the show, but there's something about the place that keeps them coming back for more.

(this is ryan/brendon and jon/spencer in the first part, but it’s so good and i love the idea of this au tbh)

clearly aware of the stars by jenish (18,000)

(bby!brendon has a huge crush on jon, so spencer and ryan decide to, ahem, help him out. aka cute tiny gay boys having feelings)

different names for the same thing by liketheroad (24,000, rated PG)

wherein ryan, spencer, brendon and jon live in a house in chicago and go to school and work and make waffles and have misunderstandings and fall in love. also wherein tom conrad is kind of magic.

(i love everything this author writes to be honest, but this and the other 2 fics by them on here are just so cute and awesome and everything i love about polypanic)

discussion of children at prayer (divine in accepting your defeat) by ignite_it (4500)

in which ryan, spencer and brendon died before they could live forever, pete is ruthless and possibly crazy, the world might be ending, and jon walker just wants his family back. (sad and far-fetched, but it made me cry so it belongs on this list)

every turn a surprise by mixtapestar (56,000)

when brendon is 10 years old, weird things start happening. he quickly discovers his ability to read minds, and then he spends several years at the academy, learning how to control it. after he is forced to run away to avoid being drafted for his ability, he gets hired onto a spaceship, where he meets spencer, ryan, and jon. things just get crazier from there, especially when he starts to fall in love with more than one of his coworkers.

(considering the length, the plot is kind of underdeveloped in places, but still - space au ot4!!! with superpowers!!!)

find what you need by lady_deathangel (5000)

(this was written for a bottom!jon meme and it actually has a bit of a plot. what more needs to be said)

four men and a little cabin by gigantic (9000)

unrelated, non-linear scenes from a recording cabin

(i constantly thank god for cabin fic)

from countess to cabin boy by formerlydf (35,000)

to be fair, brendon never truly intends to join the crew of a pirate ship. It just sort of... happens. she's sitting at a table in the corner, sipping her water and trying to figure out where to go next, when a boy about her age sits down at the table with her. "have you ever considered a life of action and adventure on the high seas?" he asks her cheerfully. brendon stares at him. she also stares at his hair — at least, she thinks it's his hair. It could be some sort of weird, hair-like hat gone terribly, terribly wrong. "um. what?"

(pirate au!! is it kind of ridiculous? yes. is the genderswap awkward and/or offensive? surprisingly not! overall p adorable tbh)

high school verse 1 and 2 by softlyforgotten (38,000 altogether, rated T)

(the reigning monarch of high school aus writes more high school au. the first part is mostly vicky/greta, but seriously this entire thing is so good and the polypanic in both parts is so well done i love it a lot)

(i’ll be) the only thing between you and the stars by mokuyoubi (68,000)

pete likes to be the admiral of the fleet in his free time, the cobra is after the academy, the helena is after the cobra, and brendon gets caught in the middle, leaving it up to spencer, jon and ryan to come to his rescue. oh yeah. star trek au.

(*bangs on table* star trek au!! star trek au!!! star! trek!! au!!!! amazing tbh)

the less specific i become by notamagnet (21,000)

brendon was found wandering the desert when he was two and was later adopted by the uries. he’s never felt as though he fits in with them, but he loves them regardless. everywhere he goes he can’t help but wonder if he’s passing someone who knows what happened to him. one day on tour, he meets someone who does.

(brendon is adopted and his real dad is the president???? idek man but there’s just something about this fic that i really, really like)

let each who is worthy by mokuyoubi (86,000)

“it was probably just some shitty band, you know? i mean, how many high school bands ever go anywhere, what are the odds? but i still can’t help wondering how things might have been different, if i’d joined them. like. that was a bad time for me, and what if i had found a place where i fit in? where would i be now?"

brendon has his religious crisis but never meets panic! and goes away on his mission after high school.

(hugely long and ambitious considering, but it still works and it’s kind of amazing. absolutely worth a read)

one more than three by cynthia_arrow (9000)

"i think i want to have sex with ryan ross," jon says as he spills across the threshold.

to his credit, gabe doesn't laugh, doesn't even so much as smirk.

(brendonryanspencer are together, jon is sad and wants in, and gabe is actually a very good friend)

panic! at the discworld by imperfectcircle (+ podfic by reena_jenkins) (5000, rated G)

brendon came from a tiny farm in the ramtop mountains half a cow and two acorns short of being a hovel, and had assumed the city of ankh-morpork would be similar in size and variety to the kingdom of lancre. it might even be smaller, he had supposed, because lancre -- that huddled collection of villages, mountains and goats -- was a kingdom, whereas ankh-morpork was merely a city.

this was much like using height to deduce that a baby made less mess than a hat stand, and tended to have the same effect on one's shoes.

(oh man this fic THIS FIC. 100% as good as it sounds, it captures pterry’s voice perfectly, it features otto!!!, and it is just so fucking great i cry. podfic is a++ as well)

so tonight that we might see by softlyforgotten (32,000)

adventures and reunions of a spacely sort.

(more spaceship aus!!! okay ngl this fic p much broke my heart but i love it very dearly and there’s a happy ending i promise!!)

(songs about fighting for boys who don’t fight) by jae (17,000)

right when jon was joining, william had said to him, “you know, they’re a - tight-knit bunch.

(new beginnings are hard to navigate, and ryan is a little bitch (as per usual). jon centric and wonderful if painful)

spyro! by solarcat (9000)

in which spencer smith is a small, purple dragon, ryan ross makes magical scarves, brendon urie writes songs about lonely manticores, and jon walker is magic!

(okay so part of me can’t even believe i’m even putting this in this list, but i couldn’t not do it. it’s ridiculous, it’s hilarious, but it’s also well written and it’s sure as hell original!)

that’s what he said by cyclogenesis (23,000)

truckstops and statelines and boyfriends, etc.

(okay so this is, to be truthfully honest, mostly just smut, but it is smut that is very important from me. take it from rosie, i never shut up about this fic)

there’s no ‘i’ in ryan ross by jzbell (9500)

jon walker attempts the impossible: to make the gayest band on the planet even gayer.

(group sex as organised by jwalk - what’s not to love?)

triangulation and other games of numbers by redsnake05 (24,000)

spencer doesn't think he should believe mike or tom, at first, but he finds himself wanting to trust them. when he finds out what they've really been doing, he's lucky to also find something else that he actually can trust in. (features various permutations of tom conrad/mike carden/spencer, but ultimately a great polypanic fic about trust and boundaries. and sex. obviously)

the way you make me feel (it knocks me off my feet) by dishonestdreams (9000)

jon doesn't know how he ever got by without this. without them. (i’m not super down for dom!ryan but i am incredibly down for sub!jon so there we have it. also v well written)

***

(side note: because this list was getting kind of ridiculously long, i decided to split it into 2. my other ot4 reclist can be found here, and it contains smaller fics/pure smut fic that i didn’t want to put into this list)a

[bugtransport]

bitches be like "cant stand plotlines about the power of desire, they make me feel too much" and then watch OOO and donbros. okay OOO was an uninformed accident and donbros is bonkers and theres no way i could have possibly figured out a single plot point that happened before i actually started the show but [we irritating pic] we suffering 😂😂😂 if it wasnt fucking clear by that intro: im bitches (these are my thoughts for today under the cut)

look i'm approximately 60 years old on the inside. you might think i'm cool and fresh and in my mid twenties but that's all a ruse. nothing makes me feel older than watching someone navigate a crush for the first time (if anyone is going to bring up hongo i don't... i don't actually know what i'll do but it'll be something and it'll be drastic. don't look at me, look away actually, we're talking about sonoi here. and shut up as well.)

i hate sonoi so fucking much he haunts me. what is wrong with him. i say this but also i know exactly what's wrong with him and it's that he's never had a crush before and is acting up. I HATE THINKING ABOUT IT OH FGUCKIGN its like he's at that stage where you like someone a lot and you just cant look at them. at all. or is that a me thing and im embarrassing myself publicly again. i swear this is a common occurrence-

he's at that stage where he's overthinking everything that happens with tarou. he's both convinced that he should not be around tarou because he doesn't want his feelings to get in the way of his mission or whatever but also he's sending tarou a proxy with a message from him? and getting upset when it's delivered wrong?? my man is out here listening to sononi go off about a completely unrelated couple and internalizes fucking all of it and this is the man you're trying to tell me doesn't understand art? look buddy i'm not about to go off on a tangent about what art is and what makes art good in my opinion (i will some other time. ask me about clothespin. i will go off.) but i'm pretty fucking sure an unrelated thing causing you to feel an emotion or think about a situation in a different way is like. that's definitely what goes on with art. what the fuck. can't stand his ass.

nobody in this show is the least bit self aware and i know that's fucking rich coming from me mr. "oh yeah no i'm just ignoring this thing about myself because i'm too busy right now and can't deal with it." at least i'm aware i'm a dipshit if nothing else?!

might switch tracks a little bit here but ive said it before with tarou... lemme just fucking slurp the tweets actually come to think of it ive half typed this up already and i can totally save myself some time

yeah there we go that's better. sorry this is yet again me talking about The Subjectivity of Truth. i bamboozled you! i drew you in with promises of gay people! but instead it's me! i'm the gay person. i'm the gay person and i'm talking about the subjectivity of truth again. look we'll get there again i swear there's a thread i'm following here you'll just have to humor me for a bit because...

main point: if you couldn't tell, i don't trust sonoi. i mean okay yeah no that comes off a little harsh; i don't trust any of the nouto in the same way, but it's not like. it's not personal. i don't trust anyone in this fucking show i think they're all incredibly biased and it's been shown many times that things that a character believes to be true just can straight up not be.

sorry, like: we have the goddamn crane juuto. we have the goddamn crane juuto whose whole fucking Deal is that it creates stories. and haruka. and like fuck me i suppose but i think that having two characters Explicitly there to tell stories is a little much for me to take anything anyone says at face value.

[total sidebar here: holy shit i loved seeing natsumiho and haruka interact in this ep. girlbosses but also haruka following her around for inspiration was really funny considering what she is. i have more i could say about this but now is not the time!!]

what we've seen of ideon so far (which, i mean, is not a lot, it's really not a fucking lot) but their world is very much designed to not lead to cultivating a population who desires. maybe this is a nature vs. nurture debate. do the nouto not desire because at their core they are unable to or at least somewhat immune to it or do they not desire because they haven't been shown desires to have. it seems quite strongly that they believe the former but that the reality is the latter. if nothing else they seem to all have the desire to learn more about humanity. do i think this will ever be touched on? FUCK no i don't expect anything. i like it though.

man idk. i really don't buy sonoi saying (back in the cafe when he was all fucked up and red no less) that the nouto are unable to turn into hitotsuki. i don't trust like that half because i don't trust sonoi further than i could throw the man but also because [here is the gay shit i promised earlier i told you we'd come back to it i would never tell a joke] i think watching him get corrupted by his own desire for tarou would make me feel 10 million emotions and absolutely shatter like i'm a prop glass and the universe just smashed me over someone's head. i think i would legitimately have to take a day off work if that were the case. i think that would rule and whip and fuck and every single other word that you can possibly think of. i think that would chop my balls off. i want that to happen so bad i cannot put it into words and it's sure as shit not for a lack of trying. i'm doing my absolute best here.

do i think this will happen? absolutely not lol i just like the concept. although come to think of it i know that the don clan created the juuto but did they ever say what they created them... from? would be fucked up if that's what happens when a nouto gets infected with desire. do i believe that's what actually happened? who knows... i just think it would be fun. i am allowed to think about the idea for no reason but i think it would be fun :)

sorry for going off about the subjectivity of truth again! actually i'm not sorry that was really fun for me <3 i feel relatively more normal now but ugmghhhhmh i cannot wait for sonoshi to show up uh i know i'm gonna be really normal about him and if he tears himself out of my hand and onto my open and waiting csp canvas like you're just gonna have to be cool about this. you're gonna have to understand. some bitch showing up to fuck things up in the 3rd quarter is what i NEED okay actually there's already quite a lot of fucking things up in the third quarter that's happening right here but new blood. new blood! new blood!! and he's red!

[exhales really deeply] okay cool i got that out of my system. i'm not looking to workshop any of these ideas unless idk, you really want to. don't feel like you need to respond to anything that i'm saying here. i'm just making spaghetti, brother. sometimes you need to sit in your brain and sort things out and make a big pot of spaghetti. that's all this is. this is me trying to put my thoughts into words which i want to train myself to be better at again, and if longform donbrothers posting is how i must do it, so be it. this is you looking into my mind if you care to do so and saying "damn, bitch, you live like this?" and it's true, i do. every single fucking day of my life i am plagued with the capacity to think. god bless

[mejomonster]

Unrelated but one show where I absolutely Was invested in all the straight romance was Ice Fantasy! Maybe one day I'd give Pillow Book a try, like I gave Eternal Love a try (with mixed results), and Till The End of The Moon definitely invested me a bit. But its Ice Fantasy for me above all others as far as the guy/girl xianxia romances go. (And no we are not counting Love and Redemption cause that's a queer relationship, and not counting Love Between Fairy and Devil because while I Do love it... it's mostly just the main couple for me, like how Eternal Love was mostly the side couple for me).

Ice Fantasy just absolutely fulfilled my ideal tropes when it came to so many characters (and I can get picky) and so many romances. It didn't even matter i had no queer lens ships (although that is a past time of mine lol: to look at cdramas and optimistically read everything as queer as I possibly can.... in my defense Eternal Love is fairly explicitly actually queer with a gay uncle and 2 bi demons, and Love and Redemption is Really Queer, so).

Ice Fantasy has:

Wang Duo playing an absolute delight of a himbo who is engaged to a girl he doesn't like for political reasons his dad set up, and falls for the girls cutthroat talented sword wielding sister. Said sister is cold and only wants her sister happy, a genuine triangle ensues where really everyone just wants everyone to be happy. Wang Duo is a fucking delight as this sweetie.

The lead love interest prince from Jade Palace Lock Heart plays Ka Suo, prince of the Ice Kingdom and son to a very fucked up father. He falls for the Guardian of the boundary between his immortal Ice Kingdom realm and the human one, and the Guardian is basically Zhao Yunlan-Kunlun in woman form. She's badass, and forward, heroic, she saves him, she teaches him the wonders of being human, she doesn't want to ruin his life and just wants to help him be a good future King, and she's mortal. The kind of Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan fluff and angst ensues, and it's a delight there is a girl as raunchy and kickass as Zhao Yunlan on the scene. Their first drinking scene together is beyond cute, she's one of my favorite characters in the show.

We've got my man Ma Tianyou as the younger brother to Ka Suo, Ying Kong Shi. He is a sweet younger brother who just wants to help his brother too. And his brother wants to not be like their absolute horror of a dad, does not love the awful burden of that bullshit and impending war and not getting to be with his mortal love, and living through that war starting (with his dad making his little brother the scapegoat) so. Ying Kong Shi has his work cut out for him trying to help Ka Suo. Along the way, Ying Kong Shi becomes "mortal" for a while, gets kidnapped by the Fire Kingdom Princess (which his country is at war with) and becomes her slave. She becomes intensely enamoured with him and honestly he becomes her best friend. The dynamic of that portion alone is SO fucking funny, intense, sad, cute, sexy, complicated, you name it. He eventually betrays her, as he must, to return to his kingdom. From then on they're on opposite sides, but with a soft spot for their former friend. Possibly my favorite ship on the show.

Not a romantic relationship, but the relationship with Ka Suo and Ying Kong Shi is also SO much what Shen Wei and Ye Zun could be in a longer story, especially when Ying Kong Shi goes supernova and burns a bunch of people alive, which is absolutely the kind of brothers fucked over by life dynamic I eat up.

Ying Kong Shis mom is a mermaid concubine who is played by the absolute babe who starred with the pink hair in the kdrama Tomorrow. She's shady af in this show, betraying and plotting and using others. But considering her ex was the Fire King, asshole extraordinare, and her husband is the Ice King absolute jerk of a motherfucker? I kind of get it. And her actress makes any scene she's in utterly compelling, you love to hate her character. All her relationships are utterly fucked up, and boy were they compelling to me.

You have mermaid princess girl who genuinely just wants a normal fairytale relationship, which is actually what society would like her to have in this kind of world. She wants to marry Ka Suo, be loved, and be happy. Ka Suo however does NOT want to be dragged into political immortal marriage, he's in love with his human Guardian Li Luo. So as you can imagine, shit hits the fan in a major way for our mermaid princess. And I love a messy time so.

There's a Mortal (with powers) princess with an eagle man (yao? I'm not clear it's been a while since watching) as her loyal servant/second in command. Who absolutely loves her like a knight loves their queen. As far as traditional romances go, I'm a sap for a man who's in awe of his woman and trying to help her (The Secret of the Three Kingdoms reallyyyy appeals to me with the Empress as puppetmaster and fake Emperor as her tool tbh as a premise, or the Olivia Wang and Wang Duos characters in Yin Yang Master is another good example of this). They're a very cute side couple and it's pretty much impossible for me not to root for them.

The entire family dynamics within the Ice Kingdom and Fire Kingdom is also exactly my kind of thing. In the fire Kingdom, the fire princess deals with sexism (interesting choice in a xianxia to delve into) despite being the best leader for her family and country and genuinely loving both, her brother who's in a way in her shadow for being less good and in his father's egotistical shadow, and her father who's a piece of shit (a la Eternal Love's demon king) but unlike demon/Heavenly traditional xianxia? The ice king is equally absolute shit and just as guilty, for once. So I guess all powerful leaders are all shit huh. Good thing the next generation is a bit more caring (also! If you like progressive advancement anime style stories, this show very much follows that kind of pacing and arc). The ice Kingdom features an older brother with the world on his shoulders, a half brother who's also half (something likely enemy to ice nation I tell you that) something else and absolutely his dad's and their country's punching bag and scapegoat (they full on try to kill Kong Shi as a kid), his brothers mom is evil and up to her own shit, his own mom isn't the ideal ally to Ka Suo either, and his dad? His dad might as well be singlehandedly ruining Ka Suos life, trying to kill his brother, and getting the nation into a war. Phenomenal. I love the mess that is the political plot what can I say.

Anyway. As if that's all not enough? Ice Fantasy season 2 is set in the modern world but still with xianxia magic, which if you know me is the kind of thing I absolutely love. (See: Rattan, Guardian, Fairyland Lovers).

[the-warmesthello]

bbc ghosts au :)

(actually not really an au, just saf characters as bbc ghosts characters)

curt: either allison or robin. i really like the idea of his dead friends supporting him (also ties into Gay Flashbacks from saf) but if he were a ghost he'd absolutely just fuck with everybody on purpose like that

owen: CAP. repressed, gay, obsessed with something that's been over for a while, tendency to be overly militaristic and a bit ruthless, but can be really sweet if he likes you, willing to help in a murder way

tati: fanny. can look scary and unapproachable, knows how to play the game in social settings, but if you get to know her she's an incredibly intelligent person who just needs someone to get her

barb: pat (also kitty+fanny). i typed this whole thing out and realised that kitty's personality mixed with fanny's intellect is just pat, scout master always willing to help, almost too nice, a little intense at times

cynthia: julian. besides the fact that the fandom has to collectively ignore their politics to like them, i just think it would be funny if she dies like he did, also government pieces of shit, the both of them /pos

informant: humphrey. really quite reasonable and level headed (pun intended), but conflicted about who they are at their core, not really around much but a real delight when you get the chance to see them

mama mega: mary. not entirely sure what's going on at any given moment, but no one really gets her either, often seen as a bit weird and jumping to conclusions based on superstition

mama mega (alt.): mike. but only if curt's the allison figure, obviously different relationship type, but even though she can't fully understand what he's going through, she's super supportive

bonuses:

dick big: julian or barclay beg-chetwynde

vanger borschtit: nigel the plague ghost

sergio: mike or thomas (borat voice my wiiife)

susan: humphrey's body (informant is humphrey's head)

dma: thomas, but specifically that scene in s1e2 where he chases allison trying to convince her to be with him and she's running away

edits bc i never post when im actually done with this:

i think curt would also be very mike if owen were allison. but i wanted him to be able to see the ghosts bc he would HATE it (like more than mike) if there was this whole other thing and he wasnt involved in it. thats getting me thinking on another au where someone (owen) can see ghosts but thats unrelated. point is curt is very mike personality wise but i would like to see him in more of an allison or robin role