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tadpolesonalgae · 7 days

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Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually) I couldn’t help myself this time though and just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else. Thank you for sharing all the amazing writing🙇🙇 I hope you’re taking care of yourself!!💝🌸

…Moving forward…I’m sorry for my ramblings🫠 there’s just so much to talk and love about your stories

Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas. The thought of someone being such a big part of your life and just being gone one day over a terrible situation (whether it’s a good or bad thing that they’re gone), atp it’s so built into your routine that you can’t help but check on them or think of them even when you shouldn’t.

Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room. Cause I understand her sisters wanting to make her room feel more cozy again, and wanting to make her happy with the time she has left AND most importantly, conveying that it isn’t a “waste” to buy her things. BUT I ALSO UNDERSTAND READER’S MENTALITY AND I WILL ADMIT IVE GOTTEN FRUSTRATED IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS. Genuinely it does not feel good when you feel like you’re wasting other people’s money or time

Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them (I say it’s cause I have massive faith in your writing ability to make their relationship come together☝️✨) BUT WJDJJWD I was almost thinking “just what is it that he wants??” Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now(? 2-3 times isn’t that many but I digress) while also flashing from decently warm (decently is important here) to extremely cold or indifferent.

“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)

Okok and now the part I’m slightly confused about right? Now it’s very clear that reader isn’t the most emotionally stable and she is very very deadset on the belief that they hate her. So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong. What may look like ‘a horrible secret being revealed’, could actually be Az just- almost not knowing what to say to make things better? Or just…not knowing how to handle this? The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS. And so he opted to be cold so she would hate him which I almost think that’s cause of his own deep rooted fears and hatred for himself (especially cause of the ‘if she thinks she’s in love with him, she should know how awful he is’ line). And that’s the part he doesn’t wanna expose to her (MAYBE??) as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)

Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝

‘Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually)’

Ahhh hello!! Very happy to have you here (whether you’re lurking or chatting in 🧡💛)!

‘just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else.’

Really?? ☹️🫂🫂 I’m so happy you liked cbmthy enough to explore further! I hope none of it was too jarring to read—I imagine hopping from angsty cbmthy to smut riddled basically-everything-else might be a bit surprising at first 😭

Please do not worry about rambling, I love love love hearing from people and chatting!! 🧡💛 (I also find it very helpful too—anyone who’s been here since the beginning of cbmthy will be able to confirm I relied—and still do kind of—a lot on feedback to help me measure angst levels and steer the story progression 🫣)

‘Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas.’

Yes! And it’s not like anyone other than Mor might have any reason to go to the Winter Court so it’s like he’ll be completely out of reach once he’s gone!

Though while I think it will be painful for reader to lose him like that—in the way that he won’t be completely gone, but just far enough she can’t reach him—it might push her to venture further in attempts to find a way to get another third space for herself (or I guess technically second space, since she’s only really in the River House now with her sisters and the IC)? I think that might be exciting to see?

What you said about doing things out of habit though, expecting someone to be there once they’re not…do you think anyone might spot a single empty chair and pause? Or pass a pair of gloves and remember sensitivity in their fingertips? After six months has passed, I mean

‘Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room.’

Yes, even though Rhys is probably horrifically wealthy, and even if that wealth is extended to Feyre and her sisters, I don’t imagine reader would ever really feel like it was hers. Or that she’d earned it.

If reader could accept that offering I think things could be very happy though. Imagine having an entire space designed specifically you? With the colours you like, evidence of hobbies scattered around? A safe place to be?

Also being on the other end of reader’s illness, I think it would be natural to want to make someone’s life as happy and as comfortable as possible if you knew it was coming to the end. It’s just unfortunate there’s still that small barrier between them :/

‘Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them’

Yes! Yes! Finally! I’ll shower you in metaphorical flowers!! Thank you!! I promise it’ll get better, just stick with me and everything will be fine!!

‘Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now’

I think it’s very funny that they keep meeting, and trying to have a normal conversation and just,,,failing,,,consistently 🤭

‘“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)’

I adore that I could practically hear the indignant splutter through the screen 😭🧡💛

To be fair, in that moment Azriel thought that reader was accusing him of sexually taking advantage of her which is why he opposed her in a way that was kind of embarrassing for her, when reader was actually talking about Azriel using her to get a read on Elain (which yay, reader’s keeping that in mind now!!)

‘So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong.’

👀? To be fair, if she’s convinced herself that everyone hates her, I imagine convincing herself that Azriel might try to kill her out of revulsion wouldn’t be a tricky task 😭

‘The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS.’

So I’m actually very curious to see how people interpreted this part because I think it’s the closest we’ve gotten so far to understanding an element of Azriel’s cold behaviour towards Reader?

I’m not going to elaborate on this part because it will be expanded upon later in the series and I don’t want to spoil anything, but yeah. It was fun to write those two paragraphs from Az’s perspective 🥲

‘as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)’

I want to say I ADORED that scene and I think reader was probably frozen from awe too. I mean, we know how flustered she gets from holding a conversation with him alone, not to mention when close proximity is added since Reader was obviously raised human, and time alone with a man + TOUCHING??? = Marriage. Horse and carriage. COURTING. (I’m being hyperbolic 😶)

Since I think that’s how reader’s been raised to view those things, I imagine she attributes much more meaning to them than any of the born-fae do, hence all the flushing and embarrassment and elevated heart rates 🤭

(That’s not to say that Azriel was flirting with her. More that they have different perspectives on how to display intimacy—also will be elaborated on—and while reader knows Azriel doesn’t mean those things in the way she understands them, that doesn’t remove their significance for her which makes her feelings much more difficult to temper :) )

Like him touching the spot atop her heart?? Much more intimate than a one night stand where it would only be physical nakedness 😭

‘Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝’

I loved reading you ramble and I’m so flattered you had so much to say about it!! Obviously I enjoy cbmthy since it takes up quite a lot of my time, so getting to hear people like yourself who’ve decided to read all the parts and then further decided to take some time to type messages out into my inbox? 🧡💛🫂🫂🫂

I love it, so much, so thank you for reading and enjoying!! I hope it continues to be a fun adventure! ☹️🫂

#anons <3 #cbmthy #kicking my feet and twirling my hair

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gins-potter · 1 year

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Are you all caught up on the OC finales? What did you think?

I caught up today! I thought they were fine to really good!!

Med was really solid. Surprising no one I'm absolutely heartbroken that Will is leaving but I'm glad he went out in typical Will fashion, had a really nice scene with Sharon at the end, and we got Manstead endgame. Liliana and Dr Charles are back together! They're so flipping cute, I love that for them. Dasher are doing Dasher things, I had to LOL when Hannah was like HARD NO about dating Archer and he was so offended. I think Med's gonna return to somewhat normal next season, probs the first half will be dealing with whoever buys the hospital and convincing them to turn it not-for-profit again. The only question marks for me are whether Maggie and Dr Song stay. I think if they continue to do O.R 2.0 things, Dr Song will, and I think they've left it a bit open for Maggie depending on Marlynne's health and what she decides. I was a little surprised they didn't address it more in the finale about the possibility of her leaving since the episode before made it feel like much more of a sure thing. A solid episode!

Fire was... kinda meh if I'm being honest. Like it's not unusual for me to multi-task while I'm watching tv, but I still pay attention to what's happening with the plot, but I was dicking around on my phone while watching Fire and kept realising that I was fully not paying attention to what was going on and kept having to go back and rewatch. Like, it just felt like lots of talking ha ha. I think where we go from here is super dependent on whether Taylor comes back next season or not. Feels like they're setting up Carver and Violet, which I'm not against, but haven't fully let go of Carver in his feels over Stella either, so if T.K doesn't come back and Stellaride break up (BIG IF NO ONE THROW TOMATOES) they might continue to pursue that as well. I'm more and more on the Stella/Carver train (NO ONE HATE ME) so I'm super fine with those angsty looks he's sending her lmao. Super here for the little friendship between Kylie and Ritter and very keen for Kylie to become the new candidate (that has to be where this is going). Sylvie's adopting the baby, yay for her I guess, I mean, like I said in another ask, I'm pretty sure I know this is heading for a Kara exit, which I'm not opposed to, so I'm just very.... okay? about this storyline. It feels rushed, but it's fine, and I get a Brettsey endgame (probably) so fine. And Mouch... maybe I'm stupidly optimistic but I don't think he's dying. I think Christian is leaving the show, but I don't think Mouch is dying. Idek why tbh. It's a bit anticlimatic if he does die tbh. Like he didn't even get shot, it was a random piece of shrapnel. Idk, I think he'll probs survive and then retire. Maybe I don't think they'll kill him because it would mean that PD also has to change Trudy's characterisation over on that show. Like imagine her husband dies and they never even mention it on PD 💀💀💀

PD was the best episode imo. The pacing and writing was great, even though I'd seen bits and pieces of it already online I still felt drawn in by it and I really felt the tension. I felt like Adam, Kim, and Kevin all got to shine. Hailey and Voight not so much, sad for Hailey, get fucked Voight. Absolute snaps for Kevin getting to shoot that racist mother fucker, and I know he's just a kid but lmao fuck Callum. Fuck his mum too and I hope she goes down for some of this shit. One of my only question marks is why Torres wasn't in the ep? I can't tell if it's a weird writing choice to keep leaving him out of episodes or if the actor has some sort of other commitment keeping him from being in every episode, but I feel like they either need to commit to his character being part of the team, or drop him and bring someone who will be around all the time. Burzek slayed as always, inject that moment of Kim on the phone and absolutely sprinting to get to Adam into his veins. Kim in the ambulance, and at the hospital, "Are you his partner", "You're with Adam" "I'm with Adam" yeah girl you tell that bitch. You ARE with Adam. I mean, as with every other Burzek shipper I'm annoyed that they clearly filmed a Burzek scene at the hospital and then cut it. I hope they release it as a deleted scene at some point bc I need it. I've seen the theory that they cut it because it shows Adam's alright and Paddy might leave the show.... I mean.... maybe? I doubt it. It's more likely they cut it bc the show has a hard on for Hank Voight and wanted to end on him. I think it would have been a better ending to end with Burzek because it would have been a really full circle, cyclical ending from where they started the season, and the episode, but, what can you do? I'm sure someone will write the fic. Still, despite all that, a really great episode and end to this arc.

Sorry, this got long but yeah, those are my thoughts. Med 6/10, Fire 4/10, PD 8/10.

#oc spoilers #one chicago #chicago med #chicago fire #chicago pd #answered

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mercurialkitty · 2 years

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Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!

I was tagged by @tuometarr thank you so much 🥰

1. How many works do you have on ao3

only 13

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

94,347

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only spn but one of these days I'm going to write bbc sherlock

To not make this too long let’s add a read more

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I have so few, I'm just gonna give the top 3 - Road Trip for the Holidays, Talks with Dads - Dean and Cereal, A visit to The Empty

5. Do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Yep. I don't get a lot, so it's pretty easy, and I want to show that I really appreciate people taking time to read and interact.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of them really end angsty, but Game Night is the closest.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Like @tuometarr said, I would if I had ideas

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. I mean so few people look...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't think I do it well, but confession: I actually wrote one het ship smut fic. I don't know if it will ever see the light of day. I might put it on a Psued. It's a rare SPN pair and I felt guilty writing it instead of destiel! I would like to write smut, but honestly I get so embarrased! Flirting and implied future or past smut is easier.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I would love it

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I'd be open to a co-writer (especially for smut).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Destiel is my favorite, but Midam is close and just as amazing and cosmic. Plus TBH, I think Michael and Adam have the healthiest relationship on the show. SPN pushed Johnlock down my list, but I still have fond thoughts and would want to write it someday.

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

LOL. All of them! Fortunately I don't put anything out on AO3 that isn't going to come to a relationship resolution/stopping point, even if there are plot arcs unresolved. But I have about 3 WIPs in Scrivener.

15. What are your writing strengths?

IDEK maybe fluffy feelz

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Planning and plotting

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Personally I don't have language skills, so I don't know.

18. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

SPN

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I have two fic that don't embarrass me to look at Talks with Dads - Dean and Cereal and The Ministry of Brewing. I'm content with those two in a way I'm not with my others.

20. Who do you tag?

I don't really tag folks on fic. Maybe just whoever it's for on an exchange, or if someone inspired it. On this game I am just going to tag a couple people. Like @tuometarr said,

If you are a writer and just want to do this, feel free to consider this your tag! Also no pressure for anyone to do this!!

@all-or-nothing-baby @thepainofdreams

#Fanfic Writer 20 Questions #tag game #don't bother waiting for a tag though #join in if you write fic #it's cool - i want you to!#fan fiction

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meownotgood · 2 years

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hi omg!! first off i absolutely adore your writing, sometimes i will read a sentence and will have to pause/screech over how well it's written. it's so beautiful i deadass cry sometimes.

now i've wanted to share something with u i've discussed w my friend before. idk about you but i love love love angst and hurt/comfort. and i was thinking about an aki fanfic (because aki brainrot) like, y/n and aki are a couple that just broke up a few months ago but they still haven't gotten over each other!!! and then they both randomly meet again at a party and all the feelings resurface and they keep stealing glances at each other, but they're about to cry, it hurts so bad because they each think the other person is over them (and the fact other people are flirting with them doesn't help) !!! D: so then one of the two leaves, the other notices and follows and finds them locked in the janitors room (or whatever else ) crying, and they join them. and they have a long conversation about their feelings and past relationship. oh and then maybe they smash. anyways thoughts?? i love these types of fanfics idek what genre this is 😭😭 oh also.... if u want to write a fanfic like that..... i wouldn't complain... BUT U DONT HAVE TO OMG WRITE WJATEVER U WANT i enjoy everything (and if u happened to be inspired by this ofc change anything to u liking 😭) !! i might actually try to write this myself but idk yet!! hehe. god this is so long. also this is not a request i genuinely just wanna talk about this trope to someone... unless u want it to be a request... okay i'm joking. this is so long. AHH

OMG HI ANON I WILL ANSWER UNDER THE CUT!!!!!! :D 💓

I'm really glad you like my writing, it makes me so happy to hear that!!! and omg... your idea... listen, I'm not the best at writing angst, but it's my favorite. and if you pair angst with romance it's just... MUAH. perfection. I can't have my romance without having a touch of angst in there, I just can't

your idea is so good, it makes me think, who would start crying first, aki or the reader... aah, I feel like it would be aki, it's just in his nature to hide away to cry like that. especially after seeing you talking to everyone else and avoiding him, it'd hurt him so much everytime he sees you, and he wants to go up and talk to you but just doesn't know what to say. but then when you find him and walk in, ask if he's okay, he can't hold it back anymore, so he just hugs you and sobs.... tells you he's sorry for everything that happened..... baah...

I've had an exes to lovers type aki fanfic lingering in my brain for a while, it would be something like aki and the reader used to date when they were young adults, before aki left for tokyo to become a devil hunter. and then when they see each other again, neither of them got a chance to properly say goodbye, so there's a lot of unresolved feelings... and of course they'd be much older, so they'd discuss what's been going on in their lives since then (and inevitably start to date just like they did before)

smashing is definitely not a necessity... but I'm a sucker for some angsty sex between exes so.... I feel like I would end up including it even if I wasn't trying to LOL. rediscovering a new level of intimacy with one another.... showing the other person your most vulnerable side because they were the only person you ever trusted enough to show it to...... it's too good

I can't make any promises about what I will or won't write because I sort of just write things on a whim, and I have a lot of ideas, so all I can say is it is an idea I have, nothing is quite planned yet. but I like your idea a lot, if I start to write something like that, I'll look back at your ask to spur my brain 🙏💓 I might be able to work some of those ideas in! I really like the concept of the reader and aki crying together like that... just makes my heart go a little crazy

thank you for talking about this with me!!! I love when people discuss aki thoughts with me. ^^ so I appreciate you sharing, and I appreciate your kinds words too!!! I'm glad you'd trust me with your idea haha. I hope eventually I can deliver something like this that you'll enjoy anon!!!!! stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!

#you are the best for talking to me so much #we are just two crazy aki fans..... in this crazy world #consumed by too much brainrot....#ask mags

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here-there-everyfuckenwhere · 3 years

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ted washing/braiding/appreciating trent's hair. trent gets VERY flustered. shenanigans ensue. (bonus if they are "friends" and don't realize they have the hots for each other yet because i am a slut for that trope)

A/N: I'm sorry this took a while to actually write, it ended up being like twice as long as I originally hoped lol. As soon as I read this prompt I immediately thought "this sounds like a job for drunk!Ted" and then one thing lead to another..

I know the prompt was probably for a cute fluffy one shot but it really just turned into a big angsty hurt/comfort fic Idek how that happened lol

I also wanna mention that I (sorta) reference @leupagus's fic "A Kind Of Dwell and Welcome" when referring to Trent's daughter as "Seraphina" but this fic doesn't take place in the same universe. I just love A Kind of Dwell and Welcome and wanted to (sorta) mention it. If you haven't read it yet GO READ IT!

+++

Title: Cafuné

Pairing: Ted Lasso/Trent Crimm

Word count: 4k

TW: s*icide mentions, alcohol, slight swearing

+++

It was mostly quiet in The Crown and Anchor, as it typically was at half ten on a weeknight. It wasn’t really Trent’s scene, but it was within walking distance of Ted’s apartment and it was typically a sure-fire place to find him when he wasn’t at Nelson Road. And it turns out, he wasn’t (Trent realised this after waiting outside for at least half an hour). It was unlike Ted to miss a day of practise. While he waited, he attempted to get a quote from Roy Kent who, upon realising it was Trent, started walking very fast towards his car muttering “fuck off fuck fuck off fuck off-“ in Trent’s general direction before he even got the chance to ask him about their most recent loss on Saturday, or where Ted might have ended up.

Normally whenever Trent attended The Crown and Anchor, he would spend no longer than about five minutes in the building; he would come in, take a quote down, greet Mae politely and quickly make an exit, leaving no trace. But as he entered the establishment at half-ten on Monday, the 13th of September 2021, he knew this would be different.

It seemed as if he might have been the only person left in the whole place, with the exception of Mae and three of her regulars who had either fallen asleep or passed out with their heads resting on the bench. As soon as he entered through the wooden door, greeted by the piercing sound of a bell and a warm smile from Mae behind the bar, he immediately scanned the room for Ted. He was usually sitting in a quiet corner, across from Beard, chatting softly with two pints between them. But Beard was nowhere to be found.

Trent searched around the room to eventually find Ted in the usual spot, sitting completely alone. Surrounding him were empty glasses littered all over the table with Ted in the middle of the mess, sleepily resting his head on his fist with his eyes only half-closed. As Trent walked closer, tentatively, he racked his brain trying to find a contextually appropriate quote from some old American movie to break the ice with him as he usually did, but he soon felt a gentle hand land on his shoulder.

“Maybe not tonight, love,” Mae quietly muttered to him, slightly shaking her head.

She glanced over at Ted, looking at him with the same almost-maternal concern she looked at many of the patrons who stayed until half ten on a Monday night.

“Look, it’s on the house-“ she finally said, gesturing for him to sit.

“No no, that’s okay Mae I don’t intend to stay long,” he smiled at her, but it was a disappointed smile.

Mae glanced over at Ted once more and shrugged.

“You can try, but.. tonight isn’t a good night, maybe come back tomorrow?” she offered, before scolding someone trying to climb over the bar.

Trent considered what Mae had told him for a moment, before deciding to bravely make his way over to Ted regardless. He knew something was off; it didn’t take decades of investigative journalism to clue him in. But whatever it was, Trent was determined to get to the bottom of it. Partially because of his own curiosity, and his urge to chase what might become the next big story. But mostly because, though he struggled to admit it at times, he deeply cared for Ted.

Trent cautiously stood over his table, looking down upon him. At first he appeared to be struggling to keep his eyes open, but his face immediately brightened when he noticed-

“Trent Crimm, The Independent!” He slurred, arms outstretched, offering Trent the seat opposite him. Trent hesitantly sat down, carefully, trying to seem less like a reporter and more like a friend, something that he often attempted (clumsily, most of the time) when meeting Ted.

“How you doin’ Trent Crimm, The Independent?” He asks, his signature optimism present in his voice despite his intoxication. As he asks the question he seems to lean towards Trent, leaning further and further until he’s really closer to falling than leaning and Trent catches him by the shoulders.

“I’m fine, Ted. Are you alright?” Trent wonders, still gripping Ted by the shoulders supportively, keeping him from falling even though his head keeps lolling to the side. Ted ignores the question and Trent wonders if that’s on purpose or because he genuinely doesn’t remember being asked a question.

“What brings you here tonight, Trent Crimm The Independent?” He managed to stumble out.

Trent remembered exactly what it was that brought him to The Crown and Anchor that evening; he had spent the whole walk over repeating the words, “Care to comment on Richmond’s loss on Saturday, coach Lasso..?” carefully to himself before walking in, but that seemed insignificant now. Through his line of work, Trent had acquired some sort of sixth sense; he could often tell when people were lying, or trying to cover something up, particularly Ted. He could often remain objective, upholding his reputation in the press room as “Trent Crimm, The Independent- ruthless journalist who would go to any lengths necessary for the next big scoop”. But when it came to Ted Lasso, the surprisingly charming new manager from America, he suddenly resented this title. Something about Ted Lasso always drew him in closer, as if they were complete opposites, attracting like the ends of a magnet. But they were similar in a lot of ways too. Trent often felt that Ted understood him in such a way that nobody else ever did. When they weren’t talking about work, they often talked about books or old movies or, more recently, being respectively divorced parents. Ted sharing details from his personal life was a relatively new development that came after a year of fairly surface-level conversation, but with the help of Dr Sharon and months of building a deeper relationship with Trent, he finally caved and made Trent his closest confidant.

It was a peculiar relationship that they had formed. Trent had never felt about another person the way that he felt about Ted Lasso from America. Not even his ex-husband could ever make him feel like some sort of giddy high school girl, tripping over their own feet to talk to their crush. Trent had been hesitant to call it that at first; he was 41 years of age and had a daughter for goodness sake, he had well outgrown “crushes”. And, besides, even if he was “crushing”, their careers would soon thwart any hopes of a romantic relationship. Trent instead focussed all of his attention on reporting, as objectively as possible, on AFC Richmond the way he did under any other management.

But tonight was different. In that moment, he decided that he wasn’t at The Crown and Anchor at half ten on Monday, 13th of September 2021, as Trent Crimm, The Independent; he was at the Crown and Anchor as Trent Crimm, the friend that Ted desperately needed at half ten on Monday, 13th of September 2021. Because, unbeknownst to Trent, this was a night that Ted had been dreading for a long time.

“I’m here to see you, Ted,” Trent tells him, conveniently leaving out the part where he only came to gather an official statement.

“Awww, that’s real sweet of ‘ya,” Ted smiles, but it’s an empty, fake smile- Trent knows it as soon as he sees it. Ted’s eyes wander around the room randomly before finally meeting Trent’s for just a brief moment, all bloodshot and weepy. With his journalistic senses, as well as some common fucking sense and an ability to read the room, Trent deduces that the tears aren’t from drunkenness. Something inside of Trent’s chest feels as though its tugging and pulling once he realises. He gets up from the seat across from him and sits in the seat directly next to him, shuffling his chair in even closer, his voice barely above a whisper as he asks,

“What’s going on, Ted..?”

The smile on Ted’s face falters gradually as he finally meets Trent’s gaze. Something inside him seems to break, a crack beginning show in the optimistic facade he took pride in maintaining most of the time. He could feel the tears he had been fighting all night forming once again in his eyes. Meanwhile, Trent had gone full dad-mode, leaning in closer, slowly, reaching over to gently rub circle patterns on Ted’s back.

There was no use fighting anything back now; the tears streamed down Ted’s face, soft sobs spilling from his lips as he buried his head into the crook of Trent’s neck. A few heads around the bar turned to look at where the noise was coming from, earning an awkward smile from Trent, who was not totally sure what to do when someone other than his four-year-old daughter starting crying on his shoulder. Ted, however, thought he was doing a great job. Eventually he could feel his ragged breath becoming more even and calm as he focussed on the soft, smooth material of Trent’s jacket against his damp cheek and balled up between his fists, and the faint smell of cigarette smoke and rich cologne that clung to it.

They sat in silence for a while, Trent curious but mainly concerned, and Ted not wanting to talk about it just yet. Or maybe ever. Though he had worked a lot with Dr Sharon over the last little while on being more open to talking about his feelings, it just didn’t feel right to talk about his father. Especially not on this day, not the day that he-

“I’m fine,” Ted eventually choked out, breathlessly. That sense was going off in Trent’s head, that sense that told him when someone was lying to him. It went without saying that whatever Ted said to him in this moment was going to be off the record, but something was definitely holding him back.

Trent had learnt, through years of inquiring into peoples’ personal lives, that the best way to get someone to talk was to make sure that they were comfortable first. They sat in silence just a moment longer before Trent finally spoke,

“I’m going to take you home now,” He says, really more telling him than asking if that’s okay, but he’s far too worried about what’s going to happen if Ted stays here to worry about sounding pushy.

“Okay,” Ted basically whispers, not letting go of Trent who has to try to stand up while prying himself free of a very sad, very drunk American man.

When he eventually gets on his feet Ted seems to sort of slide down his chair slowly, and Trent can’t decide if he’s just really drunk or exhausted or, most likely, both.

He puts out his hands and pulls Ted up gently, careful not to throw off the very limited balance Ted is able to gain. As they weave through the tables of the last few hangers-on, Ted doesn’t let go of Trent’s hand.

+++

Ted’s apartment is more or less exactly how Trent imagined it; filled with pictures and nicknacks and fleeting glimpses into his personal life, separating it completely from the cold, empty, impersonal feeling of most corporate housing. Scattered throughout the home were little yellow post it notes with the word “believe” written in blue ink marker and despite how much it reminded Trent of cliched American sports movies, he made a mental note to ask Ted to make one for his apartment later.

As soon as they stumble through the door, Ted immediately staggers to the plush, grey couch in the living area and collapses. Trent’s eyes wander around the room, eventually landing on one framed picture of a pretty blonde woman holding a very smiley young boy in her arms with the inscription “Happy Fathers Day Ted! Love Michelle and Henry”, and suddenly Trent feels like he’s intruding on something that he is not meant to see; something very vulnerable and personal and intimate.

“My head hurts..” At first Trent isn’t quite sure if Ted is addressing him or not, still focussed on the framed photo on the wall, but after a moment switches back into dad-mode, searching around the kitchen for empty glasses and a sink.

He returns to the room, glass of water in hand, to find Ted lying face-down on the couch.

He sits down next to him and gently tries to get him to sit up. “I got you this,” he says, passing the glass of water over to him carefully and guiding it to his mouth. Taking care of Ted reminded him of all those years spent as the sensible designated driver at university parties, and he figured that probably would have been the last time he had to deal with someone in that state prior to this occasion.

“Thank, Trent, I appreciate ‘ya” Ted muttered before taking a very long sip and setting the glass back down on a small table beside the couch. Trent had noticed that Ted always said that,

“I appreciate ya”

He never said “I appreciate the offer” or “I appreciate what you’ve done”, he always said

“I appreciate you”, as if he was always thankful for the people in his life who were there for him and not just what they did for him. That was always something that stuck with Trent, something he tried as hard as he could to force out of his mind when he was “objectively” reporting on AFC Richmond, along with a rather sizeable list of other qualities about Ted that tended to make his job just a little bit harder. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that was something Ted just said to everybody, or something much more calculated that he reserved for Trent; something that only Trent had heard him say, as if he was really saying,

“I appreciate you, Trent”-

His ruminating thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand reach over, slightly calloused fingers combing gently through his hair.

“Ted, what are you doing..?” Trent asked, his voice sounding much more defensive than he intended. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, the thumping echoing in his ears causing soft, red heat to rise to his face.

“Shhh, It’s okay,” Ted cooed soothingly, and all of the sudden it felt like the roles were reversed from just moments ago, and now Ted was somehow the one taking care of Trent.

He sunk into a sort of rhythm, stroking Trent’s hair and slightly twirling the ends between his fingertips with a tenderness so typically uncharacteristic of most of the men in football that Trent had met before, simultaneously comforting him and intimidating him, making him feel completely out of his depth.

Trent cleared his throat and sat up slightly straighter, trying to shake Ted off to conjure his most professional reporter voice,

“Coach Lasso, about earlier? I was wondering-“

Suddenly Ted’s hand withdrew from Trent’s hair, and Trent hated how much he yearned for it, internally cursing himself for trying to get rid of it in the first place.

“I’d appreciate if we didn’t talk about that…” Ted murmured, sheepishly, not quite meeting Trent’s gaze. Ted had been avoiding it all night. He had been trying so hard to forget what it was like for him on this exact day, 30 years ago. He tried so hard to forget the sound, the piercing echo that reverberated though his family home that day-

Bang

The tugging feeling in Trent’s chest returned once more. He knew he had struck a nerve. As a journalist, he was used to asking people questions that often made them uncomfortable, but this was different. He was in Ted’s home, looking at photos of his family and the hidden details of his life that the press should never know about, he was sitting on a couch beside the man at his most vulnerable-

Again, Trent’s overthinking was interrupted by Ted reaching out to him. This time, gently removing his navy blue blazer, slipping it off his shoulder and sliding it down his arms slowly.

“Ted, what are you doing…?” He asked once again, this time much more delicately. He knew he shouldn’t be, but he was secretly enjoying the attention; the care with which Ted touched him, unmatched by any other physical gesture he had ever experienced. He had noticed much earlier that Ted had an immaculate talent for making people feel as though they were valued. Trent had always admired this trait as something so uniquely Ted’s, but this wasn’t like listening to all of Nate’s ideas, or baking cookies on Seraphina’s birthday, or counselling Roy through whatever personal trouble he seemed to be having, this was something different; Something that was only meant for just the two of them that night.

Trent shrugged the rest of his jacket off, still attempting to maintain composure despite his racing thoughts. Ted clumsily attempted to sling it on the back of the couch but failed miserably, leaving it in a heap on the floor. Normally Trent would fuss about his work-clothes being left in a heap on the floor after hours spent diligently ironing them and hanging them up properly, but right now he couldn’t quite bring himself to care. His eyes were firmly fixated upon Ted, widened, staring in a strange mix or curiosity and confusion, but most of all, though he tried to fight it, longing.

It did occur to him that underneath his blazer he just so happened to be wearing a Joy Division shirt that once belonged to his ex-husband but eventually came into his possession somehow when they used to share everything, and suddenly he feels as though he’s the one showing Ted something that he was never meant to see.

Ted fell backwards, lying on the couch with his arms draped across his eyes, as if he was attempting to shut out the rest of the world. Though lying down in the darkened room was helping, his head still felt like it was spinning out of control and the regret started slowly but surely settling in, promising to hit him like a tonne of bricks in the morning.

Trent sat there for just a moment longer, even though the moment seemed to be over. Rubbing circles into Ted’s back as he cried into his shoulder, holding his hand as he stumbled home, withholding the urge to purr like a well-loved cat beneath his most subtle touch- all of it passed by, seemingly meaning nothing.

Trent sighed and began to creep out of Ted’s apartment before he heard a soft voice call out to him,

“Trent?” Ted sat up groggily to face him standing in the doorway, appearing even more disheveled than before.

“..Yes?” Trent replied, unmoving.

There was a silence between them for just a moment.

“Could you uhh..” Ted sniffled, and Trent realised he had been sobbing again.

“Could you maybe stay with me..? Just a little while longer..?” He basically pleaded. Ted liked people to think that he never needed anything from them, that he would do just fine by himself. But it was dark, and he was alone, and if he sat there any longer by himself he wouldn’t be able to stop his thoughts from wandering-

Bang

Trent considered this for a moment. Maybe walking him home was one thing, and maybe staying for just a minute to see if he was okay might have been fine, but staying any longer felt like he was crossing some sort of boundary that should never be crossed. But as Trent looked into Ted’s big, sad, puppy-dog eyes, his mind seemed to make itself up without any rational input.

“Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, and made his way back over to the couch.

He hovered for a moment considering the least inappropriate way to resume his position. Ted was now lying down with his legs across where Trent was previously sitting, but there was a small space he was not covering. Trent eventually sat back down, as rigidly as possible, only for a short moment before Ted’s hands landed on his shoulders, gently pulling him backwards into his chest. By this point, all caution had been thrown to the wind, and Trent gave in, shifting to get slightly more comfortable. He had never been so close to Ted before.

Almost immediately Ted began slowly carding his fingers through Trent’s hair once more, as if he missed the contact almost as much as Trent did, and the gentle touch that Trent had been pining for deep-down returned. It took every ounce of his waning self control not to sigh dreamily. He liked to think he could maintain some composure still, despite pretty much cuddling with Ted on his couch at this point.

“Ted, I really should be heading out, deadlines and-“ this time he cut himself off, his eyes almost involuntarily shutting as he melted into Ted’s touch, sinking against his strong frame and seeming to fit perfectly.

He wondered if Ted had sobered up at all, if this was just something that happened that he was bound to forget in the morning. He wondered if Ted completely forgetting about it would be better or worse. Most importantly, he wondered how the fuck he was supposed to go back to work the next day, eventually having to face him again in the press room after everything that he had seen and felt.

Eventually he managed to stop thinking all together, allowing himself to completely loose all sense of professionalism as Ted mindlessly caressed his hair.

Neither of them had any idea how long they must have been sitting like that, far too comfortable and content, lost in the rhythm of Ted’s long strokes through Trent’s thick, grey hair. Though his head was still spinning and had started aching, Ted felt completely at peace as he watched Trent, the ruthless journalist who gave him hell on his very first day at work, fall asleep on his chest. He stopped for just a moment, taking in the sight, taking sort of a mental-picture, praying that he would never forget it, even after the sheer amount of alcohol still swirling around his system, before realising that Trent’s glasses were still on.

Slowly, so as not to wake him, Ted reached out to remove them, brushing his hair behind his ears and carefully sliding them off carefully with as much precision as he could possibly muster.

He reached over to put them onto the table, but it seemed as if the table somehow got away from him entirely, the glasses clattering to the ground with a soft-

Bang

It felt as if something inside of him snapped, something he must have been holding together this entire time without even realising it.

Trent slowly rubbed his eyes and sat up slightly, weary and confused,

“What was that..?” He asked quietly, curiosity more present in his voice than genuine panic. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room and the general fuzziness of not wearing his glasses, Ted came back into focus.

“I don’t know I- God, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I-“ Ted seemed to choke out, all rushed and incomplete, punctuated by short, shallow breaths that seemed to get faster and faster. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and his hands that were steadily running through Trent’s hair moments ago were now clammy and shaking,-

“Hey, Ted, it’s okay,” Trent’s voice seemed to cut through the panicked thoughts, and he couldn’t remember how or why but Trent’s long, slim fingers were now laced between his. He tried to concentrate on them, the way that Trent moved his thumb back and forth over his knuckle soothingly, how they were still slightly cold from the walk home in the brisk, evening air.

“I’m real sorry, Trent, I didn’t mean to-“

“I know, it’s okay, Ted,” he smiled slightly at him, not letting go of his hand.

Trent rested his head against Ted’s chest once more, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing return to its steady, peaceful rhythm. He waited until Ted seemed to calm down before breaking the silence between them,

“I really should go, Ted,” he just about whispered, partially hoping that Ted didn’t hear it. He did hear it anyway, but neither make any attempt at separating themselves, their fingers still laced together with Ted’s free arm around Trent’s shoulders, desperately holding him close.

Ted, for the first time in his life, doesn’t say anything; just buries his nose in Trent’s now-messy hair, breathing him in.

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dclleyes · 3 years

Photo

hello, idek what to write here anymore djsddssd but i’m back at it again, bringing you my last child and the least dumb out of the bunch of dumbos, miray ! unfortunately, she’s a darkling stan and thinks he has some valid points, i won’t even comment on that... as usual if you’re interested in some juicy plotting hit the like button or just message me !

pinterest . profile ( tba ) . d*scord six of hoes🔪#7888

[ miray stoskaya ], a [ twenty-seven ] year old human. she is a a [ oprichniki ] and are known as the [ clean slate ]. they are known to be [ balanced ] and [ vacuous ] and vaguely resemble [ özge yağiz ].

- miray did not always carried the name stoskaya. like many of the other kids of the orphanage she had better things to worry about than a surname. truth to be told, unlike the other orphans she was quite lucky. a couple of noble descent took a interest in miray and decided to take her with them

- when miray would ask why they chose her out of many other orphans, there were always two versions of the story. one of them being the truth and naturally the other the lie. miray would only know the latter for a long time. what they’d tell her was that they were simply charmed by her. big, dark-brown eyes untouched of dullness. little miray with her glittering eyes. however, the truth was much more blunt than that. truth was, they knew that her biological parents were grisha. hearttenders. so, what they assumed was that she’d be born a heartender as well.

- they were using her but they didn’t feel bad. after all they showered miray in luxuries and perhaps even what one could call their very own version of love. they taught her how to protect herself and much to their joy miray was excellent. so the hope that one day she’d be outstanding only grew more.

- and miray wouldn’t notice their parents greed until her sibling would be born. it was an surprising and unexpected pregnancy as everyone assumed her mother would never carry a child. yet, she did and the day her little sibling would be born was also the day miray stoskava would die.

- ( she didn’t die, i wanted to make that dramatic )

- miray’s parents expected the same from her younger sibling. they were supposed to be perfect like miray ( or at least was expected to be ). they thought by playing them off against each other their potential would unveil. their parents didn’t make a secret out of their expectations but also they just expected that both would turn out equally well. truth to be told, this thing somehow became a whole show. a show that everyone participated in and could watch. that is why they wanted their testing this grand thing and thus refused having miray tested earlier and instead she was supposed to be tested with her younger sibling. they would even organize a (whole-ass) gathering for the day they were supposed to be tested.

- their parents were .. invested. so invested that they seemed to be busy with anything else but their own children. although they were supposed to be the main character of their obsession. her sibling acted up a lot, they were starved for the affection of their parents. miray however, just became numb. she needed to focus on perfecting her skills, and then she’d somehow earn her parents’ love back.

- skipping to the testing and the probably most important event. it turned out that miray wasn’t even a grisha to begin with. much to her parent’s shock of course. her sibling however, turned out to be one. from this day on, miray was treated as non-existent. despite of how excellent her combat skills were. she was an investement that proved to be unworthy of their time. however, they just couldn’t get rid off her. so they just planned to marry her off and hope that they would deal with her.

- miray hoped that their parents indifference would just be a phase. however, while her sibling would be brought to all these important events, miray was treated as nothign more than some accesorry which was supposed to make her sibling look good.

- it took her a long time to realize that that nothing would change. so she just ran away. no plan, no good bye letter and some expensive jewellry she could sell. it was a stupid plan to begin with. and a young women wandering around in her expensive garment was the perfect victim for an attack.

- she didn’t know who attacked her, all she tried to do was to defend herself. indeed, miray’s combat skills were excellent and she was able to fend off a good bunch of her attackers but even for her it was difficult to win against a group of skilled fighters.

- luckily, she got help from some grisha and that is also how she got to the little palace ( i’m too lazy to write all of this out ). with them having witnesed how she fight most of the attackers off, she’d soon be offered a position as an oprichniki and she accepted it, after all she turned from a noblewomen into a peniless orphan again.

personality

- miray appears to be quite intimdating at first sight. it might be the oprichniki uniform combined with the tight sealed lips and stoic expression adorning her features, however miray is surprisingly soft-hearted and some might even say naive, when one gets close enough to her to make her talk. having spend most of her life rather sheltered ( despite the pressure their parents put her under ) she doesn’t have the best social skills, barely knows what to say and therefore chooses to be quiet. yet, she enjoys the company of people ( as her job as an oprichniki doesn’t really allow her to socialize ) despite of their intentions. she honestly believes that people always have good intentions so she can be swayed easily (rip: so basically she’s a big dumbo people seem to be afraid of bcs they think she’s dangerous)

headcanons / misc

- when miray ran off her parents were able to track her by the jewellery she sold. they know that she is at the little palace and even send her a good amount of money for quite a time, thinking that she’d return soon. however, miray told them that she wouldn’t and so they just stopped sending money. as spoiled as miray grew up she thought that she’d be fine but ended up completely overestimating her budget and spend all of it within a week. she might or might not owe some people money, however she forgot whom she owed money too and bcs they were scared of miray they just decided to keep quiet.

- miray is a big animal lover, she talks to them a lot and gives them names. she would probably think that bird thing that attacked them was cute....

- unfortunately, miray seems to be quite fond off the darkling ( rip ), maybe it’s just bcs its her job to protect him, thus she thinks they have some connection but she genuinely believes that the darkling is that well-meaning guy who will protect them... she might or might not have a crush on the darkling ....

connections ( my head is empty )

ex-fiancé/e ( bcs i want something angsty, prbly will send this in as a connection when i’m not feeling lazy but pls gimme ) : they were supposed to marry ( so miray’s parents could get rid off her ) before miray ran off. perhaps, they had some sort of connection and did care each about each other at some point, however when miray just left without saying anything they started to question whatever they had before (i just want angst that’s it)

friends: this is very vague, but maybe someone who was intimidated by miray but learned that she is a big softie, someone she used to know from her life back then, etc.

random: but just people who she owes money to, i just think that’s hilarious

people she knows from her time @ the orphanage or just people in general she used to know before she became an oprichniki

my head is empty but i’ll update this later sddjdssd

#template credit is linked in the source !!!!#ravkahq:intro #(( me trying to sum up miray : she's boring - basically ... )#her parents are so dumb tbh #they just wanted to create some reality show....#The way this got worse BCs a clown is tired djjddjdj #heading to bed now kkknheai

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drawlfoy · 5 years

Text

Friends p.1

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

request: yes! thank you!

summary: draco and reader break up. slytherin family vibe with blaise, pansy, and theo. will they get back together? hmm probably because this i have a mad crush on him

warnings: nothing new from what i’ve written before. maybe if i’m feeling crazy i’m gonna add some makout scenes but idk i write these before i write the story like an irresponsible woman

a/n: this is actually really ironic because i’m starting to feel a little unsatisfied with my own relationship and realizing that it’s probably not going to last into college like we want it to because the distance and length of time is unreasonable, so i’m starting to peel myself away from my fantasy of spending the rest of my life with him since i don’t think it’s feasible, and plus, a part of me really wants to be set free so i can live for no one but me and travel and not be tied down and everything, but i can’t live like that forever. idek guys i’m listening to angsty songs for this fic and it’s putting me into feels. so enjoy this fic as i’m literally writing Y/N as me right now oops

music recs: don’t wanna be your girl by wet, the predatory wasp of the palisades is out there to get us by sufjan stevens, sweet disposition by the temper trap

word count: 1,755

“A break?”

The words left Draco’s mouth like they had been ripped from his throat.

“Yes, Draco, you heard me,” Y/N told him gently, her own eyes welling up with tears. “We aren’t...good together right now. I feel like...”

Y/N sucked in a shaky breath.

“I feel like I’m not treating you well, and I just feel so afraid of commitment, and it’s not you, it’s definitely me, it’s just that...”

Another shaky breath,

“It’s just that you deserve so much more than what I can give you right now, and I don’t... want you to resent me. I care too much fo-for you.”

There. It was out--the musings that had bugged her for so long, they had finally been solidified. There was no going back--no taking a shower and trying to brush it off, no crying it out alone and then pretending like it never happened, no crawling right back into his arms and kissing up his jawline, praying that the shows of affection would dismiss her feelings.

Before Y/N could manage anything else out, her eyes began blurring with the thickest layer of tears she had ever felt. It was uncontrollable, and while her poker face had years of experience, nothing could stop it.

“Oh, no, oh, no,” Draco began murmuring, stepping forward to gently cup her face. “You’re already so much, princess, please don’t cry, please don’t cry, we can work through this.”

His thumb began wiping away the tears that were cascading down her cheeks, but that hardly helped. Y/N could see his own eyes shining with the limited light in the common room and felt her heart break once more.

“Please stop touching me,” she whispered. “You can’t fix this. Only I can, I just need time, and if you want to...”

A sob caught in her throat, but she swallowed and pushed it back, just barely.

“If you want to see other people, that’s okay, I’m just such a mess and I need to figure it out...”

She had never seen Draco so hurt before as he pulled his hand away from her face, quickly wiping his own tears away.

“You’re sure?”

Y/N began shaking. She never thought that he would jump so quickly at the offer to date other witches, and oh, merlin, did it hurt.

“Yes,” she managed. “Yes. I hope you know how much I love you.”

She didn’t know what to expect. A part of her hoped that Draco would wrap her up in a hug and tell her that he loved her too and that he’d always wait for her, but instead, he just stared at her. She swore that she could hear something snap inside of him.

“I want to still be friends,” Y/N pushed. “I don’t want you out of my life, I love you, and I can’t imagine my life without you...You just deserve the world, and I can’t give it to you right now.”

This wasn’t real. Y/N felt like she was acting this out with him, like in a moment they’d both snap out of it and offer comments on each other’s acting skills, but once she saw Draco lower his head into his hands and heave, she was hit in the face with the fact that this was reality and she had just immeasurably hurt the love of her life.

“Can I be alone?” he asked between strangled breaths.

Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. She turned and ran to her dorm room.

♥♥♥♥

“Oh, no, Y/N, sweetheart.”

Pansy’s voice was paired with a pair of gentle hands on her shoulders, steering her towards her bed.

“I did it.” Y/N sniffled and wiped her runny nose with her sleeve. It was gross and would’ve made her cringe in every day life, but this wasn’t every day, and she was desperate for any comfort. “I told him how I felt, and he sat there, and now he’s crying out there, and now I don’t know what I’ve done, and oh my god what if I didn’t want this and what if I want him back and what if I’ve ruined this for us because it’s all my fault and it’s my problem and it’s me who’s the problem and he’s always so perfect and so good to me and it’s him who has to hurt because of my own mistak-”

“Y/N,” Pansy interrupted. “I understand if you want to talk, but it’s just making you feel worse.”

Y/N began to sob harder. She’d fucked it. She had completely fucked it. She’d thrown away her shot at getting married to not only someone she loved to the end of the earth but also someone with perfect circumstances--parents that adored her, an amazing trust fund if anything goes wrong, and such an attractive face.

And she’d just ruined it.

Pansy waited for Y/N to wail one more time before she wrapped her arms around her friend and rocking her back and forth, brushing her hair out of Y/N’s face.

“Y/N, Y/N,” she cooed, wiping away her tears just like Draco had done moments ago. Tears pricked at the brunette’s face as well as she watched her best friend sob her heart out. Out of all the people at Hogwarts, Y/N was the least deserving of this amount of pain.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Pansy instructed her after about ten minutes of Y/N’s hysterical sobbing. “Come one, up you go.”

Pansy hugged her one last time before dragging her to her feet, tugging at her robes and pulling them off.

“I think this calls for some old sweats,” Pansy told her, going through her drawers in search of the baggy sweatshirt and fuzzy socks Y/N often wore when she studied for exams. During her search, she came across a particular oversized sweatshirt with the name MALFOY written on the back. Hoping that Y/N didn’t see, she shoved it under the rest of the clothing in the drawer. Y/N didn’t need that right now.

Locating the green sweatshirt, she held it out.

“Come on, change out of it. I’ll be right back, I need to get some things for you. Don’t go anywhere!”

Y/N nodded solemnly, flopping back on her bed to change into the ratty sweats.

♥♥♥♥

Pansy dashed down to the kitchens, praying that no one else would be out to see her like this--her hair undone, her robes ruffled, and her mascara smeared. She had a short conversation with a house elf and snatched a plate of cookies that she nearly dropped when she spun around and slammed into someone.

“Blaise?” she asked, covering the plate to seem a little more mysterious.

Out of all the people. why did it have to be Blaise?

“Hey, Pans,” he said, his deep voice a little shaky.

“What brings you down here?”

“Oh...you know.” Blaise shrugged and shifted uncomfortably. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Oh, er, I’m sure you’ve heard about Y/N and-”

“Draco?” Blaise’s interruption confirmed her suspicion. “Yeah, I know. I’m trying to get him some food to get him to be quiet for one second. He’s been crying like a baby ever since he came into the room.”

“Same with Y/N. I’m bringing her cookies and praying it’ll calm her down some.”

“I never saw this coming. I don’t think Draco did either.”

Pansy nodded,

“Yeah. I guess the unexpected tends to happen, though, yeah?”

That didn’t make any sense, you’re not a poet Pansy scolded herself.

“I should get going and make sure Y/N is okay.”

“Me too. With, er, Draco, I mean.”

The two parted ways, Pansy sprinting back to her dorm room. What if Y/N wasn’t there when she got back? What if she was writing overly emotional letters to Draco and seconds from sending him? Oh, no, she couldn’t let that happen.

♥♥♥♥

Y/N was splayed out on the bed when Pansy returned, her face cleaner and her body still.

“Y/N? Y/N?”

Y/N sat up groggily, wiping her eyes and smiling sadly at her.

“I brought cookies,” Pansy said, setting the plate down on her bed next to her. “I’m here. For anything you might want to talk about.”

“Okay,” Y/N responded. “Can I tell you what I’m worried the most about?”

“Of course!”

Pansy leaned forward and grabbed Y/N’s hand, squeezing it encouragingly.

“Well, I told him that he could see other people,” Y/N told her. “And I guess I just assumed that he would immediately say that he wouldn’t ever do that to me and that he’d wait for me as long as I’d like because that’s the Draco I fell in love with but he just...”

“He just what?”

“He just asked me if I was sure!” Y/N’s voice had been calmer when Pansy had first entered the room, but now it was shrill and panicked. “Oh my god, oh my god! He’s going to date other girls! And I’m not ever going to be into someone as much as I’m into Draco--as much as I was into Draco--and I don’t know if I can see that happening!”

A fresh batch of tears overtook Y/N as she keeled over, letting go of Pansy’s hand and instead wrapping them around her midsection in an attempt to calm herself.

“I messed up so bad, Pans,” she gasped, swaying back and forth. “I messed up so bad. I never should’ve done this.”

“I know you probably don’t want to hear anything about him,” Pansy began, “But I saw Blaise while I was getting these cookies. He says that Draco was crying nonstop in his room. I don’t think he’ll be dating around any time soon.”

Y/N only sobbed harder.

“Hey, hey,” Pansy began again. “He cares about you! That’s all this means! He just cares a lot. And he isn’t going to stop right now.”

“But how do you know that?”

Pansy didn’t know what to say.

“He didn’t tell me it back.”

“What, girly?” Pansy sent Y/N a look of concern. Y/N had stopped rocking and was instead staring at her hands.

“He didn’t tell me he loved me back.”

Y/N curled up into a ball on her bed. Pansy was at a complete loss for words. A part of her knew that there was no combination of words out there that would make her friend feel better. All she could do was be there for her, whether it be physically or mentally.

With that, Pansy laid down next to her, wrapping her arms around her friend and holding her as she cried.(a/n: this is literally the exact moment in my life where i began to realize that i’m probably not 100% straight. i have such a crush on the pansy that i write wtf)

final a/n: okay so i’m stopping it here so i have an excuse to write this to be longer. i might do alternate endings, one where the reader ends up with pansy and one where the reader ends up reconciling with draco because oh my god my sexuality is suddenly being very questioned right now lmao. i can’t believe this happened in real time while i was writing a fic

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter #pansy parkinson #pansy x reader #blaise zabini #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #gryffindor #severus snape #pansy imagine

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kinkymagnus · 5 years

Note

The Pain In Your Eyes

hey wow this is from FIVE YEARS AGO (exaggeration but is it? really? why don’t i ever do anything) but this is like the “send me a title and i’ll tell you what kind of fic i’d write for it”

ok so

uhh this is like, mostly tangentially related but look, i couldn’t think of anything (hence why i took so long to answer lkghjfgh im sorry) but for some reason i’m really feeling TWI MAGIC REVEAL, BABEY!

(this got….WOO. incredibly long)

so okay! okay! how does alec find out his boyfriend is secretly a 400+ year old warlock with cat eyes and magic powers? there are lots of ways. i’m personally fond of “magnus is still getting used to having his magic back so he’s actually Extremely Not Subtle and alec like. kinda guessed there was something paranormal going on but his magical boyfriend was too nervous to tell him yet so he was patiently waiting and when magnus finally nervously blurts out the truth alec is like “warlock, huh? sweet” and magnus is like????????? im a Monster???? half demon?? i have inhuman powers and eyes that show my monstrous heritage??? i have been keeping this huge secret from you and i didn’t trust you and it’s horrible and awful and life changing and i’m IMMORTAL and im part DEMON and why aren’t you YELLING AT ME? and alec’s like i have an adorable half-demon bf this is hella sweet. your eyes are beautiful and your magic is not subtle babe. im not gonna yell at you for being like, scared of telling me, it’s cool. also about the immortality thing: talked to your clearly magical friend with the horns, and im FOR SURE chugging an immortality potion at our wedding. and magnus is like (happy but shocked) WEDDING? this is like five consecutive bitch slaps for him, except instead of bitch slaps they’re deep and loving kisses.

BUT. this is an angsty prompt, let’s be real. not that that has zero angst potential, but to focus more on pain in eyes…. mmm… >:) so REWIND

magnus has been keeping his magic a secret. possibly even to his own detriment, like he still doesn’t have super great control but he’s like, TIGHTLY lashing that shit down because ALEC CAN’T SEE HE CAN’T HE CAN’T and it’s like. hurting his recovery from being dormant for so long, but as long as it gets him more time with alec :))) he hardly cares :))))

BUT. but but but. ok look im so tempted with “magnus accidentally shows off his cat eyes during sex” but SERIOUS. SERIOUS. ANGSTY. SERIOUS. magnus slips up. not during sex, sorry. he slips up.

oh my god wait i have an idea. a horrible horrible idea

this is so bad i dont even know if i like it but

LET’S TRY IT

oka Y SO magnus has been tightly controlling this shit but he can’t help but slip up sometimes. he can’t help it, okay. it’s mostly minor things. he’s upset and things tremble on the shelves, he’s really happy and the plants literally perk up and he looks kinda like he’s glowing. sometimes things move closer to him when he needs them–usually not super obviously, but alec’s still kind of like wait wasn’t that over there a second ago?

and he’s trying his best but he doesn’t catch everything, doesn’t even always notice because it feels so natural. he sips coffee that should be boiling hot only it’s just right and he isn’t burned. (alec brings him some really fresh coffee and he tries to warn magnus before he picks it up but before he can yell it’s in magnus’s hands and he’s taking a sip and–he’s fine. not burned at all. and he looks at alec with that adorable little confused look, brow furrowed and head slightly tipped to the side, and alec doesn’t know quite what to say because that had definitely been too hot for human consumption earlier…)

and every once in a while alec swears his eyes like. flash, or something? they look… different. it’s hard to explain, magnus always turns around or closes his eyes or SOMETHING but like. just for a second alec swears they looked brilliant gold.

and his fortune telling abilities are like. good. weirdly good. like, he’s never wrong, good. and he knows things he shouldn’t, and he makes weird offhand comments that don’t make sense sometimes before getting flustered and glossing over them, and sometimes he acts like he’s been around for like. a LONG time. IT’S WEIRD.

anyway so it’s just little things. just enough to drive magnus into “slightly eerie” territory. alec’s not like, scared of him or anything, but he’s kind of like. is something……..up?

and alright this next bit is where it gets a bit hazy but i’m thinking for like. whatever reason. maybe alec’s not the only one who’s noticed, maybe some other people have too, maybe jace if we want to pull him here and make him a douchebag (kind of hard, though–not the douche thing, but like, he’s literally not friends with alec in TWI, so… i mean, thank god, but. hard to get him in, then. maybe through clary? idk.) but anYWAY the point is

fucking jonathan gets involved. i wanted to make valentine the crazy preacher but he’s already got a role in TWI and jonathan’s a crazy shitbag in every universe, let’s be real. and jonathan is like THIS SOUNDS LIKE DEMONIC POSSESSION TO ME. THINGS MOVING AROUND? STRANGE EYES? WEIRD PAST? KNOWING THINGS HE SHOULDN’T? NEVER GETS BURNED? SEEMS OLD? CAN DIVINE THE FUTURE? SOUNDS DEMONIC TO ME, BABY.

and alec is like whoa hold on. wait. but jonathan, manipulative fuck that he is, is like. all smooth talkin. like hey, aren’t you worried about your boyfriend? what if he’s hurt? what if this is hurting him and you’re doing nothing to stop it? what if we can save him?

it doesn’t help that magnus has been acting weirdly lately (read: worried alec might be onto him since ALEC’S been acting weird, and psyching himself up to TELL ALEC THE TRUTH) and alec. doesn’t know what to do.

but ultimately he’s convinced when he overhears/sees magnus meeting up with his friend. which is ragnor portalling into his home, horns and all, and them talking in hushed panicked whispers. and alec’s like “oh fuck what a demon is possessing my boyfriend”

he’s heard family legends their ancestors were demon hunters, but unfortunately not much about warlocks and the like so he doesn’t make the connection, he just thinks “oh shit, the legends were true, and i of all people ironically am dating someone being messed with by a demon. well, I’M THE BEST PERSON TO SAVE HIM THEN.”

ok i wanna be clear alec wouldn’t like. take this far and actually hurt magnus, ever. like he’s not about to tie him up and carve symbols into his chest or something. he’s just mundane and worried and unsure what the fuck to do and manipulative evil little bitch jonathan is taking advantage.

and honestly i’m not sure how far to take this either, the image i have is magnus like. tied up in a pentagram and jonathan about to be a crazy bitch and alec being like “oh fuck this this is NOT what i signed up for” bonus if he was worried about magnus being possessed for realsies but then he sees magnus’s cat eyes and they’re like. too. him. they’re full of pain and fear and this kind of resignation and alec is like no that’s no fucking demon, that’s the man i love, or maybe it’s both, maybe he is the demon, but i don’t care because magnus is a demon then i guess demons are good because magnus and evil don’t go together EVER.

but like at the same time, the heartbreak/trust shattering that could cause–alec like, trying to “exorcise” him for being a demon? MMM DON’T LIKE THAT. like i’m not looking for a relationship breaker here, just some juicy angst with a happy ending. and i feel like with a lot of careful planning that might work, but i don’t. really want to right now.

so LIKE. maybe not that far, maybe alec is planning on confronting him and he’s got something dumb like a holy water water pistol (shoutout to ryan bergara, i love you) and salt, but he’s like “idek what i’m gonna do if he ends up being possessed but i sure as hell know i’ll save him if it kills me” but he like. before he can even get the words out. for whatever reason. don’t call me out on not knowing why, maybe he catches magnus by surprise or comes home early, idk. he sees magnus’s eyes. and they’re these gorgeous golden cat eyes. and alec can see the moment magnus realizes alec can see them, his eyes go wide and scared and he looks hurt and a little sick and like he’s already lost something irreplaceable and it hurts that he looks so. there’s so MUCH PAIN IN HIS EYES (aay,, aYYY.,, titteLEE) and also. god his eyes are so pretty. even beginning to tear up they’re so pretty. and alec has so many things he wants to say ranging from i love you and nothing will ever change that to seriously please stop looking heartbroken i need to hug you right now i love you so much to i know what you are–i mean, like, not what as in a thing, but what as in you’re a demon and i know and it’s okay, to wow your eyes are pretty to wow i am dating a demon okay and alec is just like. he just blurts out “holy shit you’re beautiful” and that’s all because with the “reassure magnus he is loved!!!” and “MAGNUS IS HURTING RED ALERT” and “So Your Boyfriend’s A Demon” feelings going on, Gay™ just overrides all the panic

like he’s forgotten about the holy water and the salt he’s just like. oh my god. pretty. sexy. wonderful. and absolutely for-sure magnus and nothing else. so again there’s just that fun thought process of “does this mean my boyfriend IS the demon because that’s not a demon, that’s magnus” to “ok sweet im dating a cute ass demon” to “demons are good now i guess? or at least mine is? that’s neat”

because like, while demons obviously traditionally get a bad rap, there are plenty of fucking books and tv shows and fiction wherein demons are the good guys, or not so bad, or whatever. so to a non-religious mundane with no concept of real demons as according to shadowhunters canon, “good demon” isn’t necessarily impossible or that hard to accept.

magnus will probably not take the misunderstanding of being called a demon that well, but he will be thoroughly mystified by the fact that despite thinking he’s a straight-up full-on demon, alec is not upset or horrified but in fact kind of pleased.

but anyway alec’s like “i’ve figured it out! i’m pretty sure you’re a demon, and that’s why [evidence here], but like, it’s okay! holy water is banned from the house and i know the salt thing is only a particular kind of salt but i swear if it helps, no fucking salt in the house. definitely none of that kind of salt. i originally thought you were possessed but i have burned all exorcism shit and anti demon things i had and i will literally do anything to protect you. should i say oh satan or oh lucifer instead of oh god? that’s fine. just wondering. i will literally give you my soul. i love you” and magnus is like i love you but oh my god oh my god oh my g

(also this doesn’t really fit in but i do have the image of alec squirting magnus with the holy water pistol and it just like. splashes on his face. and magnus is like. [disgruntled blink, nose all scrunched up, Adorable] [gingerly wipes off water] “why” and alec’s like so you’re not a demon, cool. wait, or demons don’t actually react badly to holy water. or you’re hiding it somehow. or my water isn’t holy enough. fuck)

AN ywa YY. magnus has to explain he isn’t a demon (”oh shit fuck i’m sorry shit did i hurt your feelings goddamn it i can’t believe i jumped to conclusions”) he’s half demon (”okay i wasn’t THAT far off and don’t give me that look i’m not judging you i love you very much and this changes nothing”) and uhhhhhh he’s an immortal warlock with magical powers and the cat eyes are his mark and he has magic and he’s 400 years old and he’s been dormant for a very long time and he’s sorry he lied and didn’t tell alec and he really isn’t evil or anything and please say something, alexander.

and alec is just like “okay this is a lot to take in but ten minutes ago i thought you were just straight-up a demon and was cool with it so you really think i wouldn’t be cool with this?”

anyway like. they just fucking… it’s a little anticlimactic. magnus feels like his feet have been swept out from under him, alec’s just okay with it, other than a minor initial freakout, and that’s… it?

of course, there’s still jonathan. you know what, here’s how to get some drama back into it. alec never really like, actually got close with jonny boy or anything, it was just someone he talked to in passing who was like “ur bf is possessed bro. i can…… exorcise him if u like” and he like. knows about the downworld, but believes they’re all evil demons and bad and he’s the true shadowhunter or something? but he’s just crazy and a horrible person? idk. but anyway he like. shows up again. he might try to cause some drama by being like “ur boyfriend sent me >:) to SEND YOU BACK TO HELL” but it doesn’t work, magnus’s heart aches a little at the thought but he knows it’s not true, you know?

but like jonathan tries to hurt him and magnus is like, fumbling with his magic a bit, still slightly off kilter (especially because he’s still been trying to hide it a lot and stifle it and he’s not quite in sync). but alec like, defends him (because he took self defense classes and like, martial arts and shit, even as a mundane he knows how to pack a punch, you know?) and he gets hurt. jonathan goes after him (why are you supporting this monster? this demon? why are you on his side? …maybe you’re possessed too–) and magnus is like. OH NO. YOU FUCKING. DON’T. and fucking WRECKS him. like full magic avatar state bullshit, he’s like “i will fucking BEAT YOUR ASS, leave alec the FUCK ALONE.” and he basically like. idek portals jonathan to the middle of the sahara or across the world or on a remote island that has resources but no way off? idk what he ends up doing, but it like, takes care of him without necessarily killing him

but like. magnus is super powerful, but using that much magic abruptly after years and years of nothing takes its toll and he passes out. alec, slightly bruised up and maybe a little bloodied but ultimately fine, carries him bridal style (!!!!!!!!!!!) and magnus wakes up in bed, warm and safe and comfy with alec by his side, all patched up and also fine, and cat and ragnor and raphael all there like “hey idiot” bc WHY DIDN’T MAGNUS TELL THEM ABOUT HIS WEIRD NEW MUNDANE BOYFRIEND AND ALL THIS DRAMA THAT WAS HAPPENING? OTHER THAN THE MINOR DETAILS? they’ve been talking with alec and like. they have varying opinions but the general consensus is “he seems to be treating magnus good and he clearly loves magnus, and we like that.”

ANYWAY THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE AND ALEC ASKS QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS MAGIC AND MAGNUS IS COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME AND USES HIS MAGIC OPENLY AND EVENTUALLY ALEC BECOMES IMMORTAL AND THEY GET MARRIED AND IT’S HAPPY YAY

anywaYYYY this got……super fucking long. but the title thing is ujst basically “alec knows magnus is magnus and not Something Else because there’s like. real emotion in his “demon” eyes and he looks scared and pained and it’s SAD and alec’s like “shit yeah this is him and i love him” and that’s the turning point of the story”

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #twi malec #this world inverted #twi #love how the readmore didn't go in thanks tunglr

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littlehollyleaf · 5 years

Text

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.)

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine.

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji*

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio.

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

#about me #a true but boring story #well this was a fun nostalgia fest for me!#apologies to the rest of you.............

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wolfwhiteflowers · 5 years

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Some thoughts and speculations (with comics) on Carol and Michonne in s10.

*I ship caryl and richonne and I think they’re endgame.

*kinda petty..anyways.., hate-watcher. When I talk about comics, it’s like specuations and a guide where the character might go.

So, i don’t like how some fans would say ‘why Michonne/Zeke kissed when Michonne is meant to be with Rick, and Zeke meant to be with Carol’. im like wait what? Uhh no thanks. I just want Richonne back and I think these fans meant Richonne to be back. ( why is it like being a richonne shipper in the fandom~ therefore must be a Carzekiel shipper? lol no. shipping’s not like that. ukno we got out own fave ships. And I don’t like the whole thing with my ship must be #1 even though there’s no prize on it and why not have multiple ships. whatever.) I also think it’s not Carol’s dream or something Carol would be upset about. I think she’s done with him. Carol was the one who broke up with him and it seems like in the trailer she’s focused on vengeance. So, ok I just want Zeke to go away and I hope it was one episode he interacts in Michonne’s episodes. Omg Idk how that scene goes. We don’t know what kind of relationship it is. Ugh Kang and her ship-drama. blah. It’s why I don’t watch the show..and “try” to not get invested in the show and read spoilers.

Idek how many episodes Michonne is in s10. ahh. I think there’s five and they’re scattered in the season. I kinda wish it was all at once. But whatever make the story good. (..lol as much as they can.) (I hope there’s no dumb plots like Zeke going with Michonne on the boat or whatever..Idk what they’re gonna do with Zeke.)

I do agree that whole Michonne and Zeke pairing is so dumb and rushed (like they did with C/Z but worse). I feel it’s not needed unless it’s some angsty plot Kang wants to do, I guess. M/E doesn’t make sense at all. The fandom hates it. There was no buildup and Michonne was not into being in a relationship during s9 (and those 6 years.) But, she did start to open up to people in s9 finale ehhh which is like comic-Michonne with Rick...hmm,

Some fans and critics or whatever, think it’s right and make sense “cos da comics say so”. Which is crazy, wtf where’s the story and the good adaption on it? That’s lazy writing. Anyways, so I don’t think it’s actually a comic adaption...it doesn’t feel that way, imo. I think CarzekieI was the comic remix of comic-Michonne and Zeke being in a relationship overall. It’s what I think when comparing to the comics. So, I think tv-Zeke was like ..just there and Kang decided to have him with her in that scene. But, I guess Kang is up to something. (Zeke gets broken up twice)

So, on the trailer it looked like Carol and Michonne are using the comic-Michonne story at the same time...with the same storyline it seems. It’s confusing. Ok I’ll dissect it further. I guess it’s like with Michonne, the writers are showing the part in the comics where it’s BEFORE comic-Michonne break up Zeke and leaves to *find* her daughter (on the boat). With Carol, it’s AFTER comic-Michonne broke up Zeke and went on the boat or during the “pirating” times/TWDG Telltale games. And help fight against the whisperers.

I think Michonne is going along more like comic-Michonne recently. I’m kinda amazed how quickly they made them similar, emotionally. I didn’t think tv writers could do it and on anyone because for a long time it didn’t seem like anyone was really like comic-Michonne. Ok when tv-Michonne is with Zeke and ‘she’s like IDK if I can be in a relationship...I still feel unsure and have guilt or some angsty feels for so long because Idk where is my dead/missing husband is at?’ So, that whole emotional part feels very like comic-Michonne, IMO, and I think it’s something Michonne will breakup Zeke and goes to find Rick...because she needs closure or ..ukno she needs to find her lover! (With Carol, she’s similar with comic-Michonne,emotionally, but not quite as like it,imo.) So that whole M/E moment in the trailer ..very small to be comparing from the comics than C/Z. Idk what else Michonne does in s10, like how her exit from the show goes. She better lives!

In some ways, it seems like Carol and Michonne’s plots could be what was missing from the comics and the games with comic-Michonne’s storyline. In the game, it went straight to depressed-Michonne “pirating” and so we didn’t really see that Ezekiel breakup and comic-Michonne wanting to leave. It was during the timejump and what other characters had said on what had happened. Uh ok comic-Michonne just went up and left everyone and “pirated”/Oceanside’s fishing crew, without telling anyone. So I guess on the show we see more explanation and depth on it, I guess.

With Carol, it seems like she’s taking some comic-Michonne from the games, which they are canon to the comics, and I also think she’s taking parts of the post time-jump/whisperer war (and comic-Andrea storyline...or like a second leading character on TWD). Or it’s both. Idk most of s10 is so different in the comics then. I think the mains are gonna bounce back and forth with comic-Rick, Michonne, and Andrea’s storylines. I think Aaron is taking Dwight’s plot. Anyway, there’s moments in the trailer where Carol mentions of the boat and sees flashes of dead-Henry. She’s also dealing with anger and all that stuff. It reminds me of the Michonne games. Except, I don’t think Carol is or was on the boat...and Henry is dead, whereas comic/game Michonne was looking for her *missing* daughters and dealing with regret. So, there’s parallels but Idk much and I think it stops there. There’s this plot on Carol wanting to kill Alpha and she’s part of the main storyline by interacting with Daryl (and Negan I think). It’s like from after the timejump/pirating storyline and comic-Michonne was mostly being there to fight whisperers and support Rick and gang, which I think is like being there for Daryl. It’s all main characters doing their thing and fighting in the whisperer war. I also don’t know what’s Carol’s endgame..or I mean comic-Michonne found happiness by finding Elodie, but what is Carol’s? So I think Carol’s story is gonna be different and not be adapted from comic-Michonne’s story anymore (it’s tv-Michonne’s then.)

-Oh that BFF scene with Caryl. lol It threw me off. Because I thought that remix/adaption moment already happened so it’s like they did it again but by the book. It’s weird and confusing with tv-Michonne’s story going on. Ok so that moment in the comics is right after comic-Michonne comes back from the pirating/timejump. So? Maybe Carol did “pirated” Idk. I know people would argue Caryl is like comic R/M which they didn’t go canon. But like who’s comic-Andrea then for Daryl? (usually tv-Michonne but she’s not gonna be in the show that long) and like tv-Michonne is (im assuming) gonna search for Rick, who is always like comic-Rick.

Ok whatever. Carol and Michonne are both going along comic-Michonne’s storyline and it’s bit remixed. They’re at different times based on the comics. I hope for the best for them.

#carol peletier #michonne #twd speculations #*twd #carol and comic michonne #michonne and comic michonne #twd tv comic parallels #twd remixes

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roemyheart · 6 years

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Double Trouble

A/N: for @marvelmymarvel bc she really wanted a reader x babe x malarkey love triangle but I am so BAD at writing anything remotely angsty (I am committed to fluff) so idek what this is, I just kind of went with it. Also I’m super sleepy so I barely proofread this rip but I hope you still enjoy! Based on the HBO show characters, no disrespect to the original heroes.

When Winters handed out weekend passes and told Easy company to enjoy the nice weather, you did not imagine that you’d be enjoying the nice weather on a Friday evening outside a cozy Bavarian pub with Edward Heffron’s hands tangled in your hair.

That’s not to say you weren’t enjoying yourself. In fact, you thought this situation might be a little too enjoyable as Babe trailed kisses across your jaw, pressing his hips against yours. His mouth was soft and hot but when he pulled back to gaze at you, all heavy breathing and flushed cheeks, his eyes were a blazing inferno. “Babe,” you breathed softly, chest heaving, fingers digging into his clean uniform. Babe smiled gently, in stark contrast from the way he’d all but ravaged you against the side of this building. He wound one arm around your waist and the other cupped your cheek gently, calloused palm against warm skin. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for that.” You smiled coyly, standing on your tiptoes to brush another searing kiss to his mouth. When you nipped at his bottom lip playfully, he made a surprised noise at the back of his throat. “I kind of have an idea of how long you’ve waited for that.” He cocked an eyebrow. “And how’s that, Y/N?” You leaned further into his space, grinning. “Lucky guess?” Babe titled his head down. “That’s a load of malarkey.” He murmured against your lips. You tried to avoid jolting in surprise because malarkey had taken on a meaning very different from bullshit. “Maybe a little birdie mentioned that you’re always staring at me like I put the moon in your hands. Maybe I got a little curious.” His hands, splayed wide against your back, began traveling downward. “There are some other ways you can keep my hands occupied…” You caught his wrists, bringing them up to your mouth to kiss his hands sweetly. “I have no qualms about making out with you next to a bar, but I do have standards, Private Heffron.” He pouted, resting his forehead against yours. “Yes, ma’am.” “We should head back in.” Babe sighed, looking at you mournfully. “How am I supposed to go inside and enjoy myself now? Nothing is ever gonna be as good as kissing you outside in the middle of the night.” You smiled at him, shaking your head. “I’m flattered but let me buy you a few drinks. You might change your mind.” Babe did indeed change his mind once he downed a few more beers and Luz dragged him onto the dance floor. You watched him from a booth, smiling fondly. He threw his head back and laughed at Luz’s antics, lighting up the tiny pub with his infectious, intoxicated energy. Sometimes, you wished he would change his mind about you. Babe was fiercely devoted and incredibly charming. He was no longer boyish and reserved; he had blossomed into a fine young man with a heart that radiated honor and compassion. He was sweet, he was hardworking, and he deserved more than you thought you could give him. If he changed his mind about you, you wouldn’t feel so guilty that Donald Malarkey spent more time than appropriate on your own mind.

A goodnight kiss couldn’t hurt too much though, right? Not when Babe wrapped his arms around you securely, his mouth featherlight against yours.

“Babe,” You whispered hoarsely, fighting the whimper in your throat as he trailed his lips down your neck, dragging his teeth against the sensitive skin at the crook of your neck. “Hmm?” He continued his slow, sensual assault. “Y-you have to go sleep. In y-your own room.” You warbled, inhaling sharply. He pulled back slowly, looking at you much more like a sad puppy than a guy trying to get into your bed (in every sense of the term). “I guess…” He sighed, pouting at you for the second time that night. You squeezed his hand. “Can’t have you getting in trouble.” He grinned at you crookedly through the dark shadows of your room. “I’m in plenty of trouble.” Babe kissed you once more before heading to his room, leaving you reeling and your heart aching. Babe was already in trouble because of how deeply he adored you but one day later he got into even more trouble. Trouble that came in the form of an awful head cold after going for an unwise late night swim with Tab and Bull. Though the latter two men suffered only from a runny nose, Babe was bedridden (Doc’s orders) with a wicked cough and a fluctuating fever. You visited him several times throughout the day, bringing him tissues and newspapers and hot coffee. It was hard to believe that the sulky bundle of blankets was the same man that made your knees wobbly with smooth words and wandering hands. So, you left Edward Heffron and his addictive kisses in the room down the hall to recover. But that left you yearning for physical affection. Before the war, you’d never given much thought to the intimacy of simple human touch. You worked hard for your family and studied even harder for your classes – getting a boyfriend seemed like a world away, along with all the tender touches and sweet words entailed in a relationship. When you joined the war effort as a medic, human touch became less simple. Saving wounded men was often complicated, and you woke up restless many nights as the memory of bloody hands and anguished screams plagued your dreams. Your hands had been remarkably less bloody throughout your time in Berchtesgaden, but sometimes you felt like they could never be completely clean. As you neatly folded your clothes, barely noticing the chaotic rumble of the men downstairs and outside, you wondered if maybe that’s why you were so drawn to Babe. Despite the horrors of war, every scar jagged and deep, he still seemed to retain his wholesome light. Your conscience could never be clean, but you were pretty sure Babe’s soul was. When he smiled, it was impossible to believe in hopelessness. A knock against the doorframe startles you out of your thoughts.

“Jesus, Malarkey, you scared the crap out of me!” “What’s really scary is that you’re spending our free Saturday night folding clothes.” You wrinkled your nose at him. “Folding clothes is the most fun way to spend a Saturday night, you just have no taste.” “I couldn’t agree any less.” You rolled your eyes, laying your pants in the wardrobe that was much too big. Malarkey moved his hands from behind his back to reveal a case of beer and a deck of cards. You cracked a smile. “Is that all for me, Don? You didn’t have to, really.” He smirked at you, light eyes dancing, and shook his head. “It’s for me, actually. But I like you so I’m willing to share.” You shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.”

You could only take so much. Don barked out a laugh every time he beat you, leaning into your space, and you felt like you were absolutely burning. He smelled like summer and fancy beer and clean laundry. You desperately hoped he was too drunk to notice the way you ogled at the dog tags glinting against his collarbone and at his muscular arms when he tugged off the top of his uniform, leaving him in tank top that nearly had you drooling.

He was killing you, and not just in this game of Speed. “Oh come on, Y/N, you’re not even trying!” You frowned at him, teetering just off the edge of tipsy as you took a long pull from the bottle. “I am trying. Just not as hard as you, apparently.” His mouth curled up into a devious smile as he shuffled the cards. “I’ve got a deal for you, doll.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “What?” “If you win, I’ll do whatever you want me to for one hour. If I win, you do what I want for an hour.” “Hmmm.” You pursed your lips pensively. “Whatever I want?” You tried to ignore the way your stomach flip-flopped when he practically purred, “Anything your sweet heart desires.” Flustered, you could only laugh nervously. “Even run around butt-naked through the dining room?” He nodded solemnly. A little voice at the back of your head told you that this was only headed in one direction. “You’re on, Malarkey.”

Several minutes later, it was Malarkey who was on you. He caged you against the bed, radiating heat and kissing you like his life depended on it. You couldn’t even really remember who won – did anyone win at all? It was Malarkey, wasn’t it? Or did the late night and strong beer finally take hold of your good sense? The way Don growled when you tangled your fingers in his hair sounded dangerous, but honestly, he was the person who always made you feel the safest. You often found yourself wrapped securely in his space. He’d held you close when you got hit in Carentan and Arnhem. He’d clung to you throughout the raging firefights and awful casualties of Bastogne. He’d tucked your head against his chest the night after you found the camp. In the moments when the world seemed to crumble around you, Don made sure to keep you from getting swept up in the rubble. Though, you did feel like you were drowning in his hot and heavy kisses – in a good way. Despite the haze of sleep and alcohol, you couldn’t help but notice how different this was from kissing Babe. These kisses and caresses held the weight of the world. It was more intense, every sigh, every gasp, every touch. It was strong and it scared you, but he murmured your name tenderly against your skin and nothing had ever sounded so right. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.” You tensed up involuntarily because you’d definitely heard that before. “How long?” You asked softly. Malarkey hovered above you, gently brushing the hair out of your face, still breathing hard. You couldn’t tell if your heart or his heart was pounding loudly. He smiled, almost bitterly. “Since Toccoa. Since you took my spaghetti.” Your eyes widened. “That’s…a long time.” He kissed your nose, resting his weight against you comfortably. “Tell me about it.” “And it took you this long to tell me?” You playfully pinched his arm, disregarding the toned muscle and how your stomach lurched. “Hey, getting shot at is scary. But telling someone you like them while getting shot at is even scarier. I had to wait until I knew it was completely safe.” His smile was softer the flower petals and his gaze sweeter than honey. You squeezed him to your body, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “You’re safe here.” “You know who isn’t safe here?” You pulled away to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Who?” Malarkey looked at you sternly. “Heffron.” He pinched your waist and you squeaked, becoming so flustered you were nearly lightheaded. “W-what?” “You heard me right. If he comes in here asking for Y/N to be sweet to him, he’s got something else coming. I’ll sock him right in his pretty face.” You wound your finger around an orange curl and tugged gently. “Don’t get so bothered about Babe. Just be sweet to me.” You rubbed your nose against his affectionately and he smiled softly. His voice washed over you like the Atlantic ocean. “I can only be sweet to you, Y/N. You make everything about this bitter world a little better.”

(Apparently this bitter world had it out for you because you ended up on a bus ride squeezed between a fuming Malarkey and a snuggly, sick Heffron soon after.)

#uhhhhhhhhh #maybe a part 2 if you really want some angst????#idk what happened here #we shall see #band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers fic #babe heffron #donald malarkey #edward heffron #babe heffron imagine #donald malarkey imagine

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thequarrelsome · 6 years

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SHIPPING INFO !!

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?: Staying in canon I can really get behind Keira/Lambert, they work well together, very similar in temperament so yeah, I’m all for it! Love the idea of a sorceress out of all people is the one who finally tames his heart.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: Likely most things tbh, we can get down and angsty, it’s not difficult with this ass hat, although i enjoy the blissful moments of fluff and tbh even with smut i’m cool with. i think sexuality is equally part of a relationship and the inner dynamic. Ask me tbh, and if it’s not too out there, i’ll probably write it.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: It’s tricky when it comes to rp-ing a character who looks a certain age but is close to 100... personally, i think as long as two people have a good dynamic and both people are of legal age, we can talk about it.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: I suppose I am, I’m very much chemistry driven so if I don’t really feel it, I won’t ship it. Besides, it’s not that easy to get along with Lambert so that in itself is a screening process.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NS/FW?: When hands wander to naughty areas even when clothed I guess it starts to go that way. Once there is a clear intent in action that this will be more than just making out.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?: Romantically, Lambert’s wife in modern verse is @tragedyveined, in Marvel verse it looks like they are getting into shippy territory with @helenaiism, in Witcher verse @apocryphorum‘s Orion has his heart. I adore our super extreme slow burn with @ghoulishundertakings! There is also @honnleathrose, our ship that’s mostly present on discord. There is also that... idek, started out crack but i have no idea what’s going on, @winebleeds‘ brother. As for strong brotp, @tcughguy‘s Tim is Lambert’s bromate and one day they will open a bar!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: Kind of? I like to have some thought behind ships, so it’s totally fine if they naturally just start flirting and then if we feel there is potential, I think it’s cool if you let me know you might want them to have something. I don’t like to plan ships, I prefer to let them develop naturally but it’s also cool to have that confirmed knowledge that we’re both aware what’s going on.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: Shipping is nice, I’m not sure how to interpret ‘often’, it’s not trains that i have to have a new one every month, i’m actually very loyal to my ships and i love them all even if i might be silent. But I do love to talk about them and plot and headcanon and all of that.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: I wouldn’t think I’m ship obsessed. I’m not into the idea of shipping itself, but I rather get ‘obsessed’ with a good dynamic. Then I make a pinterest board, make aesthetics and annoy you about them often when I have time to talk I like to dedicate time to our ship.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: Indeed I am.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: Considering Lambert belongs to the Witcher fandom, once again I’d have to say Keira/Lambert.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Talk to me. That’s really the base of it all, if our muses have chemistry and us muns have a good chemistry as well, then sure, let’s do it!

Tagged by: @apocryphorum Tagging: Consider yourself tagged!

#ˣ ( psa. )#[ fix ]

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seriouslydidijustdothat · 3 years

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time for a writing meme~

self tagging bc i’m bored and decidedly not writing for Fallen King or Liability like i said i would >.<

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

A grand total of... 4! 2 of those posted this year, 1 posted last year... lolll

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

107,140. So like, a terrible novel if everything got smushed together. (Or, unexpected masterpiece!?)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Total? Ever? Uh... Let’s see... 8?

Yu Yu Hakusho sucked me in, taught me how to write (and by gods are my first fics terrible hahaha pls don’t read them), mostly wrote that for a while, tried InuYasha and Cyborg 009 (#TBT) oh and Spider-Man (the original hahaha), then Naruto sucked me in but I’m still working on that one, The Amazing Spider-Man (my shortest fic!), and somehow, BTS??

Including fics not posted? Hawaii 5-0 (another series, lol, if I ever get around to the rest of it)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Lawl, I don’t even have 5 fics so by default, all of them? 😂

Liability (Naruto) is definitely the first (it’s the oldest, ofc it is, but even on ff.net it’s the favest)

Fallen King (Uncanny Counter) is an obvious second

Winter’s End (YYH) an unlikely third (including ff.net bc... sigh)

The Kid (TASM) - still proud of that one tbh, my summary definitely sucks though

Alone But For One (BTS) - newest baby, my darling, could be replaced with a handful of fics on ff.net but I prefer this writing lol

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, of course, comments are... a shot of adrenaline, I get so ecstatic and flattered that I feel I must share the joy?? Also a habit I carried over from ff.net (before they made it against the rules to reply to comments or w/e), and I’m also not overwhelmed with them like popular fics seem to be and unless you truly stump me... I’ll try to say something back (unless you don’t want me to and sign with ‘whisper’ like I mention that’s fine too)

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

... Joke’s on you, of the 2 that are finished (on AO3), they don’t have an angsty ending! But skimming over ff.net... I remember... and I’d sayyyy Dreamless Slumber and Suzuka’s Choice are tied tbh hahaha. Same mood. (Wth happened to that formatting!? Oh gawd, don’t go fix it, LEAVE IT ALONE)

7) Do you ever write crossovers?

I hadn’t, and I had I think... one idea for one? I have maybe one or two ideas now but they’re not high on my writing list.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Mary-sued me right out of the fic, possibly writing I can’t remember now it’s been so long. Idk why I left that comment there, I reread it last year and it still feels as awful. But now I’m tempted to go back and respond with spite. But I won’t (but the petty part of me wants to lash back). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to, hormonal teenager and all that I guess?? Now I just... idek, that kind of relationship isn’t important for my stories.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hahaha, no. Well, not to my knowledge. Don’t think my writing was good enough to be stolen (and didn’t we all just, piggyback ideas off one another and made them our own back then?), if I ever finish a fic and it gets “popular” (w/e that means) I might worry about it but ehh. Write your own stuff man, it could be so much better (not just writing wise).

11) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t. I wrote a fic for an online friend and she was my go to for plot and things but that’s all.

12) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

... Um. I can’t answer H/C can I hahaha, I think it’s found family? Or just... solid, reliable friendships? Idk. I can’t analyze my writing for shit lol, readers tell me wth I write about pls

Edit (in March 2024?? lmao): favorite ship why did I read favorite trope!? I don’t really care about shipping so trope is an appropriate response 😂 I might have an otp for every show, but sometimes it’s better without (or just without romance)

13) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu Yu Hakushooooo. Damn you CN for never airing the eps after the Dark Tournament, do you know how old I was when I finally finished the damn show!? LOL

14) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Ohh... wait, ever?? Shit. Um. Well. Idk. Liability is probs up there, but Fallen King is a close second (if only bc it’s my first chaptered fic without an OC?? that feels like an accomplishment in and of itself). But I also love the series my BTS one shot lives in, but the rest hasn’t been written (much less posted) yet so... hard to put that out there lol.

#writing game #writing meme #af11 writes #sort of #not really #technically this counts as writing but... definitely no word progress on my WIPs ;-;

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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6:15am Gripes Post lads!! 🥂

im in one of those things where something innocuous bugs me for days b/c its just a personal irritation...i saw something for like a book or a game on twitter & it was like “this is about being a teenager” and it looked like it was about the kind of teenagerdom where you hang out with your friends after school & have a few romantic partners where it doesn’t all go smoothly because youre both inexperienced and havent figured things out enough to have a really healthy mature relationship but its complicated and there’s good things in there too so its all just a mixed bag and classic teenager

anyways theres nothing wrong with that in and of itself of course but i dont like getting what is a specific narrative conflated with a universal narrative...i.e. while that might be a common experience, being 13-19 isnt defined by that kind of usual teenage experience checklist. i mean, everyone who’s been a teenager has an experience in that time which must also be a teenage experience you know. and of course mine happens to be the kind that was nothing like the being out late with friends and having awkward date moments of bewilderment and figuring out who you are and all

i dont love to be reminded that theres a specific narrative thats meant to describe the General Universal Experience, when thats not my experience. what does that make my experience, and by extension, me

like i already feel invalidated enough by the course my life happened to go, i dont need a reminder that it was supposed to go This Way actually, and if it didnt then are you even a real person. and theres a ton of ways peoples lives could differ in major ways from whatever idea of whats universal that are also different from mine, so i dont know how not to be a bit annoyed from that angle either. i dont know its like....i guess ~Adolescence~ is especially treated as some flat, formuleic, predictable time in life where everyone is simple and shallow when its all really the opposite. its as complex and varied as ever and so are teenagers & people are completely wrong to act like teens are all just self centered immature kids—and not only wrong to do so but actually writing off really serious issues that affect teens as like “angst!!” or whatever...lord

anyways so i was like actively suicidal from like 14? 15? i say “was” when its just more like “have been,” but anyway. theres that part, and i didnt go to high school, which im sure would be for the better for anyone, and i wasn’t interested in dating anyone & also didn’t, and i was kind of having a version of the Universal Teen Story in that i was getting to be away from home for weeks at a time with only a weekend back every now and then (and breaks between semesters) and doing so finally let me like, even start to be a person who could exist outside the hellzone of my house. which made going back home for say, long summer breaks increasingly laden with friction. teens and their spats with parents right!! but actually it was that my situation was abusive & i had to figure that out on my own & in the meantime i did think i must be doing something wrong in trying to feel like i actually had the right to my own identity, because i must be doing something wrong if it makes me get along with my parents less. and really the idea that teens are just angsty & rebellious & argumentative was further damaging b/c i trivialized my own abuse as i always had (b/c all i had to go on was that it must be normal) & blamed myself for not succeeding in this impossible situation. it was really Not the universal experience even with the conflict and identity questions and growing familial pains

also i still had few friends, but i at least had a bit more room to Do Shit than at home. idek how to say how isolated i was for the entire like, well most of my life but a tiny bit less so during college. i had campus & a 1.5 mile radius and occasional trips and stuff, and being able to just do things as i wanted. at my parents house, the location made it so you couldnt really walk anywhere, and our town didnt really have a lot of hangouts anyways, and i didnt have any friends really. i did get a few from school and friendly acquaintances but i would rarely see any of them outside school, and that was mostly only middle school anyways. i was on the fringe even in preschool, which i imagine helped w how i read all the time at school and at home. and home and the abuse and having nowhere else to be also had to contribute to how i live in my head, i have to guess. i dont mind that, my head is great. but other people think im weird and in terms of being someone who grew up exposed to long term trauma & bad attention & memory & an awful lot of pretty specific things seem to align w autism but if i mention that ppl (irl) like to talk abt how well really everyones autistic in SOME ways (which well they arent unless you want to have a huge talk abt the entire field of what it means when usually nt ppl define Disorders) anyways the point is that i also dont trust people much because theres a slight history of taking a chance on ppl who seem interested in being friendly w/ me only to turn around & realize i was being laughed at to a degree for things that were just part of how i personally socialize, thanks. but not all of it. ive met some really solid people. but im not that eager to meet people as im wary of a lot of them & my instincts are usually justified when i take a dislike to somebody. and ive just never been in a position to make or have a lot of friends. and that sucks, coz the few times ive been able to be around multiple people i like is always a lot of fun, usually the result of some roadtrip or special occasion or something and very short lived. i WISH i’d had a period of constant access to a friend group, that i couldve left my parents house and had somewhere to go anytime i felt like it, that i had people i could do things with and all. i dont need adventure, i like parking lots and just doing nothing but hanging out and all, but that didnt happen. i was stuck in my parents house & i didnt even think i had maybe been cheated out of anything & maybe i wasnt just a inferior quality person until i started to figure out for myself around 18 that i might actually be abused, and it took me another couple of years to really believe that i didnt deserve it

and i mean still i didnt just take an “alternate route” to the same endpoint everyone else did. i cant do buzzfeed quizzes about You And Your BFF / Friend / Friend Group coz i cant even fake my way through them. i know i have an identity and am as much a person as anyone but i know that the chances to explore life that are supposed to be Common and Universal werent available to me, and that who i am as a person, aka a normal one, not a terrible one, was info i didnt know for most of my life and had to figure out on my own. and im still figuring out on my own, because shits never exactly been okay yknow

anyways my experience may be “worse” but its not lesser or less real or valid or makes me less of a person because i didnt get to do it your way. idk

tldr it annoys me like thanks for reminding me ive never got to have friends even though that’s still one of the few things i’ll feel bad about b/c i know just how much that hurts me & how much ive missed my fleeting chances to have a micro taste of what that couldve been like. and for a reminder that whats considered Real Full Person’s Experience is so default it doesnt even need modifiers, & so what does that make me if it doesnt apply at all?

funny how much an throwaway almost joke of a sentence bugs me but thats how it goes huh

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tayegi · 7 years

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im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

#new rules #keehyung #lu answers

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