#also im so sorry i cant draw law

[smartie-arties]

@threi has the best interpretation of lawlu and i cant express how much i love it

[peachiiwren]

Season 2 of My In-Laws Are Obsessed With Me came out today, so here are Therdeo and Pereshati doodles to celebrate!

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Okay so i know this is your askbox and everything but I want to say that i feel like the bosses would start to hate pizzahead after peppino tells them what he was planning on doing, because as far as I know they were simply hired to guard the keys and look out for peppino.

I have some very minor tweaks to this but for the most part i agree!

put under a readmore bc i dont wanna clog up any potentially Non-Exploded pt tags lmao

-Pepperman, the eccentric man that he is gets shown 1 (one) image of a fucked up drawing of peppino and hes like ‘yes yes fat little human man, got it.’ And continues sculpting as if he hadnt heard pizzahead at all. Hes the MOST startled when peppino enters his arena bc he literally forgot he had to fight him 😭 hes like WHO is this little sweaty human in my fucking ART STUDIO????!! and then immediately gets stomped.

He is definitely indifferent to pizzahead; he didnt really care about this weird man and even postgame hes like well. This sly dog led me straight to my muse so I cannot be too angry with him 🤔

-Vigilante is like ‘hmm. Never seen this man round these parts; whatd he do?’ And pizzahead is like if you need a reason; its no longer just a simple request; its a bounty. And Vigilante it like ‘well... A bountys a bounty; if he wanders into my town he aint comin back out’ and pizzahead is like great! Fantastic! Im holding you up to that 🧡

Vigilante is probably the one most angry about pizzahead. Hes not exactly lawful good but he does Not like being used as Hired Muscle. He hunts down Bad People; not a human some weirdo has a personal vendetta against. He doesnt know exactly WHAT that vendetta is but its not worth his time and its not worth getting his cheesy ass handed to by Peppino again 😭

-The Noise craves violence and destruction. Hes a little menace! He also likes money. LOTS of money. And lucky for him, Pizzahead had seemingly Infinite Funds. Funds that he used to hire the Noise; to utilize this brats WEALTH of questionable tools and contraptions in case Peppino climbed his way through the tower. The noise was like ‘ur hosting this shitshow on TV? give me a 40/60 split from whatever ur filming and you have a deal’ and he does NOT find it troubling at all that Pizzahead is so eager to accept this.

He never figures out that the recorded content was never actually hosted anywhere. He eventually tries searching it up, asking his agents to look up anything recent with his face in it but they all come up emptyhanded. When asked about a name or title or scheduled tv slot and publishing, hes a bit sheepish to admit he never asked. Thats not his job! Thats his agents job! Hes so weirded out though; Pizzahead gave him a Ton of money. Obviously not alot by the Noise’s standards but more than what most people could even remotely afford. Weird. Well he got money and Peppino doesnt try to kill him unless he ignores the restraining order placed on him so its okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Fake peppino cant really comprehend hate. But he does comprehend…distrust. A man comes up to him, gives him a picture of some human, asks him to make sure this human does NOT make it to the top of the tower- ‘nononono. Listen to me. He does NOT make it past you. Do you understand that? I am serious. If you see this man come by your sorry excuse for a shop, kill him. Maim him. Eat him; i dont care WHAT you do as long as he does Not get this fucking key.’

And Fake Peppino just nods. But hes so wary despite his dopey expression. Hes got little goosebumps prickling along the back of his neck as the man hands him the key and a picture of the human. A human that looks like him. JUST like him. In the back alley of his poorly lit pizzeria. Just like him…Hes a bit taller than the man in the picture but…just like him… just like him just like himjustlikehimjustlikehim- ‘Yeah, yeah, just like you, but listen- listen; hes messin' with My business and you gotta understand that, right? You have a business too! Whatever this…*gestures weakly* is. You would be. Sad. If someone destroyed your business. Right?’

A slow nod.

‘Exactly! See? Right on the same page! Thats why im countin on you!’

When Fake Peppino gets to see that Human Peppino has his own Pizzeria; a pizzeria that almost got destroyed (a BUSINESS just like his...) everything seems to click into place at once. Hed probably maul Pizzahead like a chimpanzee 😭 WHAMWHAMWHAM BASH THAT DOUGHY FACE IN !!!!!!! Peppino doesnt need the manpower, but its Nice to have the equivalent of a bulldog guarding his shop

[mbslost]

hi. yes i came back for another yapping session, ironic.

i would like to express some of my feelings towards... some interesting things.

1. The Strade nazi drawing

i talked about his before, i am aware, but later (while reading other opinions as well) i got reminded about EP (Electricpuke for those who dont know him). did we all forgot HOW MANY nazi drawings he made? dont you believe that's an influence as well? if i remember correctly, Gato cut ties with him because of his abusive behaviour (there arent many people talking about this but some user are aware about his actions. sadly i wasnt in the community when that happened)

literally there are people calling Gato a nazi when she doesn't support the ideology. why did no one act the same with EP? different standards? the fact he left (probably) for good? still its not an excuse to call Gato a nazi. also she apologised multiple times. again MULTIPLE TIMES. even in the callout post in twt you can see the fact she IS sorry for drawing that. that she REGRETS it

edit: kay found a ss on tt from the user @/gorturic where Gato said this as well

again, she doesn't support any nazi shit :/

2. The way others silence opinions that they dont like

im not saying you should be forced to agree with it, but when you make a callout account, normally, you let multiple people say their opinions over that thing. you can even show proof when you see someone is wrong. thats how argument work, crazy ik.

i start to see that if you defend Gato or just leave the community because the fandom its on thin ice, you'll be harassed and bullied for your choices. first of all, HOW ABOUT WE LEAVE PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH BTD/TPOF ANYMORE ALONE. good? literally saw multiple users being harassed by this. its THEIR decision, suck it up. also can we stop SENDING DEATH THREATS???

or the fact that if you do have a point, they'll immediately cancel it with the "oh but its not important". it can be if you have some proofs for their misinformation (just like i proved the variety of poc characters Gato CREATED. didnt talk about Ren since he's another story)

3. Lack of proof for the side allegations.

if people noticed mods harassing people sm, why didnt they talk? why arent there ss of their conversations? we dont even know (most of us) what they even commented about (aside of Pussyspieler drawing). or the twt user that was wronged. that situation was like.. kind of a "im more autistic so you should shut up" (i have to add that i asked people on the spectrum about this and that was their point of view) of course the mod shouldn't have said it like that but.. its more of a misunderstanding really.. that doesnt mean you cant be upset. you absolutely can. everyone can react differently so dont harass them for feeling down or for being frustrated.

also the spanish (or mexican idk) users that just copied and translated @/renhanasgf posts with little to no new information. just the same thing. (although they said something of Gato not sending merch to latin America. probably because of the laws back then or the fact that the transport fee would be high af. im still searching for the reason tho so ill need some time for that one).

4. This fandom is messed up

people when fans of horror porn games are problematic 🤯. i agree that some people are being like extreme with their reactions, but no one is perfect here. just like i approached the situation completely wrong, they did the same. of course, now if you go around and be a racist piece of shit, you shoudl just stay off the internet for a while. luckily more approach the "like the art not the artist" thing.

look. you can always block users that you dont like (just like i do to those who are either into csam,thanks for telling me ab this term anon!, or incest). i know. shocking that people can block others.

after all these fandoms are not for the weak. there may be some safe spaces in it as well but... lets be real... its still going to be problematic. if you cant handle the community or how others act around here, then id suggest for you to not have a close interaction with others. like uhm, just, appreciate the content, not every person around here. just be aware of the users, stau safe okay?

5. Will i stop yapping?

not until i will see an agreement in the fandom. Gato is a human, of course she will do mistakes. especially if she's anxious or tired. having hundreds of people around you its hard and i can imagine it. having supoortive people only to wake up with people hating you. i hope she's safe and that she wont have to go to the hospital again. i pray for her well being, and to others that got spammed with those disgusting comments.

im not saying we should forget about this like.. her poor management and emotional way of responding to things, but is it truly worth it? to force a person to apologise just because they tried to fix things?

i also dont think ill stop because i just feel like im the only one that does talk here (trying to even prove wrong on some things). if others do it as well, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SEE THEM😭 also because most people are still so confused about EVERYTHING. for some reason this drama its only getting more popular on tt for some reason.. which is a big no no since there are a lot of YOUNG people. i believe this should be talked here, and on twitter. (idk what to say about telegram)

ill stop here since my sickness got me. i will edit it later to add or correct myself but *sighs*

please stay safe and try to view more opinions over this. DONT SPAM OR HARASS ANYONE WHO ONLY WANTED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS. we'll see on Sunday how things will turn out.

(if i missed something out or said something wrong please correct me)

[baby-xemnas]

the weirdness and unconventionality of lawbepo are major charm points to me tbh!💕 i also really love how lawbepo elevates law’s character! it’s not that i didn’t like law before, but to be honest, i feel that a weakness of the character is that he is easily put into the “stoic badass with a tragic past and a secret heart of gold” stereotype. which is cool and fun, and it’s obviously a popular trope for a reason, but every anime/manga has this type of character tbh, and if nothing more is done with them, they can be kinda generic and one note. and it’s especially hard if the character is a side character, so it’s unlikely the creator will spend more time with them. unless it’s like for fanservice or something. so i like these types of characters but i don’t usually love them because of that.

that was how i used to feel about law, i liked him and thought his design was cool but that’s it. but everything is different now- like maybe it sounds insane to say, but considering “what if that bear is not just law’s vice captain, but also his first love from childhood? his babygirl? his ride-or-die wife?” has seriously like opened my third eye when it comes to law tbh lol, and i have you and your incredible art to thank for that! 🙏❤️‍🔥💕💯🔥✨

YOU PRETTY MUCH WENT THRU THE SAME JOURNEY AS MYSELF AND I LOVE THAT

yes so true all that....law by himself is only okay, yes hes sexy so ppl are crazy abt shipping him with whoever the fuck

but i really love when a sexy and intelligent character is WEIRD and its ignored by those around them cuz they are hot.

i like to bring him up cuz it was such a great discovery idk maybe someone will relate - i had that moment with akaashi haikyuu cuz i was like sure whatever, he is cute and bokuaka is FINE but when akaashis obsessive controlling calculative nature was revealed i had a real 💡!!! moment abt it and fell so hard for the character and the ship. like of you are pretty and WEIRD AF abt bokuto. gaslight gatekeepe girlboss. a dumbass' manipulative psycho boyfriend. perfect

and with Law honestly i cant commend japanese artists enough who saw Bepo day ONE and saw the potential of Law being very particular (pervert) about his bear - drawing dozens of comics of Law bleeding from the nose because Bepo is That cute. THEY REALLY HAD HIS NUMBER i meanwhile needed more convincing cuz im too canonfaggy to live off of Just the intro and the hug (all we had at the point where i got into op first) yes the hug was monumental and parially made up for the PH and DR lack of Bepo and having to tolerate the stupidity and insult of "law is gonna join SH/law is a honorary SH" no he wont, is not. die????

anyway yes it took me more fanservice to be like oh So we really ARE putting Law's softness for Bepo as one of the core characteristics? Not just a passing occasional thing like the hug was? Okay. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

weird is great weird is enriching and its fucking phenomenal that it's Just bepo. Not just cute things even tho he does love them - Bepo being a whole Person that gets Law's cuteness dokis in a bunch is soooooo sus and charming

idk how other Law fans see it but i dont think Law loving cuteness and fluff like the Onigiri moment - would be enough, its too circumstantial. But Bepo.... Bepo is always there, making Law better by being his spoiled rotten softie baby angel

sorry if my train of thought is all over the place. Thank you so much for the ask you the real one ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

For the character meme: beast wars dinobot

-cybertron-after-dark

hiiiiiiiiiiiii :)

How I feel about this character

Love Pink!

I think everyone's love for him was the reason why I decided to watch beast wars in the first place. And i almost quit the show after he died so i'd say i like him a normal amount (lie).

I have a love hate relationship with his design cuz its sooooo hard for me to draw like why did he do that he should have chosen something simpler. 

His mannerisms and how tall he is makes everything in the show 10 times more funny(to me). ohhhhh I'm fixed on his voice and vocal tics it really does make him stand out from the rest of the cast.

He’s so mean too, a hating ass bitch, I can respect that. He’d be the best fast food coworker (he’d still work at popeyes!!). And sometimes he be loud and wrong, like ok CLOWN.

How do I say this nicely? Making fun of him is my favourite thing to do. Also since he is the fan favourtie (am i correct in assuming this?) everyone makes fire ass art involving him. always a treat, he never let me down.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

A good fight would make him hooooorny.

Tarantulas - one, I just think it's funny and two, that one episode when he was complimenting tarantulas's hunting skills?? Can you imagine them hunting things together??? I need it!! Dinobot in his evil cannibal twins era <3

Tigatron - uhhh the solitude uhh the warriors bond the best slow burn ever. They are opposites and dont understand each other at all. LITERALLY Law of the Jungle ep is just: tigatron doesn't behave the way DB wants him to so Dinobot is thinking “ *snorts* i can fix him!!”. It’s peak to me…

Tigatron so calm and wholesome, and Dinobot is…NOT pfttttt  AHHH LIKE FIRE AND ICE FIRE AND ICE!!!!! They clash but go togetherrrrrr *sigh* who sees my vision 🥹

thats all my brain could come up with aack

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cheetor and Dinobot lol hi grandpa take his ass to hot topic 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Dinobot would not make a good leader. He’s not emotionally considerate and does not have the skills to “think past the battle”. He can fight, anticipate an ambush, command some soldiers but that's pretty much it.

Actual diplomacy, or caring about the health of his teammates? HA! 

He constantly wants to abandon people, or overthrow someone, switching sides like crazy. Nigga never been loyal…and he likes to talk about his “honor”.

Now I really need some insight on what “predacon honor” is cuz wtf?? Rattrap was lowkey right, how could we trust him? 

I was sad when he died but ion really feel like he needs to come back, you know? You could kind of sense that there was no direction the show could take his character.

And getting rid of him was the logical choice. He a lil self destructive and got some issues (that's why I love him) but after a while it got repetitive for me. I don't think this show was equipped to handle the characterization they were building up to so him dying was kinda a good thing dare i say. 

He's a bottom 🏳‍🌈

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More predacon interactions that hint at what his life was like before they crashed on earth.

The lil nuggets we get are so interesting to me, I need to see how the dynamics were before he ‘betrayed’ them.

He knows these guys so well im so madddd i missing out on all the dramaaaaaaa

i also wanted him to interact more with rampage...i cant explain it but....there's something there that needs to be explored

Eat more people

be weird

be a freak

Nerd out tenfold about history

Should have killed silverbolt whaaaa who said that

Thats all i can think of off da top of me headdd, thanks for the ask @cybertron-after-dark 💜

sorry for typos!

[inekepp]

WOULD LOVE ANYTHING YOU COULD TELL ME ABOUT THE PHARMACY WIP FRIEND :') <3

Hii!

Okay, so. Pharmacy AU basically comes down to Alex working as a pharm tech in a 24/7 pharmacy (another reason why his sleeping schedule is shot to all hell, bc, yknow, eves, nights, the lot), and Henry is coming in to pick up meds for Arthur, who still suffers from cancer in this fic and all that. Henry keeps on getting Alex as the one who helps him (either bc coincedence, or luck, or timing, or however you want to call it, though i think i put a reference or two in that he did hit other coworkers of alex too, as to make it a tad more realistic). Alex, being quite experienced at this point, immediately clocks as to what Arthur is suffering from (in broad lines, anyway. beyond 'cancer' he ain't getting much further) and in the beginning he holds out hope, but that diminishes as soon as he sees that it's been quite a bit since Arthur got meds for chemo, and what Henry is coming to pick up (which, basically, is painkillers).

eventually, which is what i've yet to write, henry is going to come in to pick up meds like morphine and midazolam bc of palliative care (which, as the midazolam suggests, means hallucinating/possible aggression and the likes bc delirium), and then has to come back because the midazolam isn't doing the trick.

i was also v much planning on henry coming in at some point where alex is on the phone w his boss who tried to contact a coworker but failed (dunno if said coworker is hunter but yknow might as well be haha. but like, failing could happen bc travel or whatnot i dont think it matters much). so here alex is, saying to his boss that hed pass on the message when coworker gets in, but just says 'he' instead of coworker, cue henry panicking bc he thinks it mightve been fam trying to contact him about arthur, and, well.. yeah.

im not being nice to henry here, im sorry.

anyway, alex is v much crushing, but like, cant do much about it aside from helping henry as fast as he can and make it as pleasant as such a visit could be, bc p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m, (which he prob v well throws out the window w panic attack bc, well, he cant henry suffer alone can he?).

and in the last chapter, which is gon be x time after alex saw henry at the hospital last, is basically going to be them running into one another somewhere (idk, coffeeshop? library? somewhere. havent figured that out yet) and get to talking and maybe possibly set up a date (also bc henryd be thanking him in person for all hes done, and henry being henry had send a massive mail to the boss at some point complimenting alex for all his help and care and bc he deserved to get the praise. alex v much would want to thank him for that bc boss (zahra prob) having been like dunno what youve done but good work, and just, getting praise, esp in healthcare, be rare as fuck, so yknow. its something big.

im also hella drawing on my own experiences as a pharm tech, and i do have a load of quiet eve shifts, so, lie, its not unheard of, and while i do not state in which country they are bc i cant be arsed to look up laws and practises and shit like insurance shit bc its irritating and complex enough where im from and im the person who deals w insurances in the first place, i guess its all universal enough (and i did google if midazolam and all that were still like used the same in other countries, bc availability in meds and whas used can differ from country to country).

does that answer it? if not, feel free to clarify!

[whumpshaped]

So cool! Eh happens to all of us! I'm glad you enjoy it! horses are so amazing and I love them so much. Might be hard to believe but I started riding when I was 5 and I'm turning 21 in september. About 16 years of riding and the longest break I had was a ten week break after a leg surgery. (if you're interested dm me)

haha it sounds amazing! (probably colder than california lol) the lead rope if it's one and reigns if two. Reigns are usually leather or nylon. That sounds like so much fun! Kinda like the fairs here but the animals are probably treated better.

it is insane from an american standpoint but also fascinating cos the midterms and finals are required by law and how often they happen depends on the schedule like trimester/ quarter. But they also limit a max of 6 classes at once (and still bankrupt ppl)

that makes sense. I cant keep up with more than one or t3wo with my health unfortunately but I'm happy you seem to have a hold on it most of the time! that's a ton of exams but sometimes slacking is needed? I think. don't know how to explain it. Do you enjoy learning?

thats a lot of years... thats kinda how many yrs i have of writing ig. having started as soon as i learned to spell at 4 and im 21 now. hobbies r cool. experience is cool. i wish to have that much experience in drawing too so i can draw cool stuff like my friends... also sorry abt ur leg :(

iiii enjoy learning in general. i love learning abt random stuff. it gets tiring and boring and horrible once its mandated. and once i have to learn all these stupid fucking laws by letter for no reason (LITERALLY NO REASON WE HAVE THE CRIMINAL CODE WRITTEN DOWN FOR A REASON. SO PPL CAN LOOK IT UP. THERES NO REASON-). but whatever i guess thats school i'll just get thru it. its still the most leisurely 5 yrs i'll ever have

[selamat-linting]

continuing my last liveblog, this time focused on the characters.

-vriska is. amazing. she is THE CHARACTER EVER. i enjoy her a lot but when it comes to morality, she's... i dont know what to make of her. like, from all the fandom drama i heard secondhand, she was made to be this mass murderer. like yeah, she is responsible to a lot of fuckups in plot, she is ableist to tavros and used aradia's boyfriend sollux to kill her, and sabotaged jade's attempt to get into the game but i think at her core, she's just a 13 year old bully. if she was in a normal human environment, raised by an ordinary family, at worst, she'd be the kind of girls who spread mean rumors of the outcast kids at school. still bad but, garden variety shittiness that can be fixed with age and growth. its the condition she's in that drove her into such terribleness. alternia let kids kill and maim each other, eliminate people who defy the law and customs. its a tyrannical empire and of course the kids produced in that kind of environment are vicious to each other. its not wrong the other kids dont want nothing to do with her and seeing her gets her shit kicked by aradia was cathartic but. man, i still feel very sympathetic to her.

-also, if im not wrong, her romantic relationships now would be :

nicholas cage - one sided matesprit(?)

kanaya maryam - moirail / auspistice (?)

tavros - the most unhealthy kismesis i have ever seen

-also, poor tavros. im waiting for the scene where he gets to kick the shit out of vriska like aradia but alas. its nice that he and vriska seems to get on better terms later on. i have to admit, vriska taking the time to dress up and set the mood to kiss tavros is kind of endearing while also being yikes what the fucking fuck my guy. but anyway, tavros being disabled as only a fodder for stair jokes, and then getting his legs forcibly replaced when the wheelchair jokes gets old, and then making him the butt of the joke again, good god. i want tavros's narrative arc to be treated more seriously. andrew hussie you are an ableist piece of shit you know that right?

-and kanaya! its so interesting how space aspects players are all very aesthetic-minded. they always have the cool pretty stuff. also she had a crush on rose isnt she? the way she admired her gamefaqs playthrough guide reminds of that tumblr fairytale where cinderella reads aurora's diary and fell in love. haha! right after i have that suspicions, i check tumblr to see if theyre a popular ship and apparently theyre also canon? cool. its so nice to be proven right. theyre both unhinged weird girls but in a very subdued way. also, i think karkat have been underestimating how much she helped on cooling down the group's animosities. not just between tavros and vriska, but eridan and feferi too, to an extent.

-speaking of feferi, ugh, i feel so bad for her. i cant believe someone as positive as her could be corrupted by the horrorterrors. one moment, she's the only one preventing a trollnazi and a doomsday lusus from destroying the shit out of everything, and suddenly shes twisting squibbles into cthulhu. "dont you get it, im dead," baller fucking quote but im so sorry girl. she has always been someone who is resigned of the fate of everything, but she never stops trying to make the best of it, unlike aradia.

-Also, why is equius so horny all the time? my god he is so fucking rapey.

-terezi!!! terezi!!! she's my favorite troll. her friendship with dave is so adorable. i like how they start out as enemies mocking each other but end up as (shitty) art buddies. but man, she is just as extreme in her trolling effort like, she did kill john in a timeline. anyway, back to dave and terezi. they both think theyre so cool but theyre actually cringe. also, is the drawing of the guy above the his tyranny writing in her room, meant to be karkat? ugh, i wish im her.

-i dont have much to say over sollux but as a gemini, he has the coolest design. literally the coolest shade ever. twin signs represent!

-karkat is... *grits teeth* self recognition through the other (derogatory). i hate that i shared his classpect. he ruined an objectively awesome title just by being himself. but i never really know what kind of guy he is, just his notoriousness as a grumpy anime boy slash tumblr sexyman. i hate him even more after knowing him btw, because he really is just like me! on the surface, he's just a 13 year old version of jean vicquemare from disco elysium. but seeing his memos, seeing his... everything. oh my god. i hate myself. his constant bitching is my inner voice everytime i have to deal with [redacted] and [redacted]. only that im now old enough to know i shouldnt unleash that to everyone indiscriminately. also, i too did the future writing thing. like, i would actually look at my old diary entries, and wrote a response as if speaking to my past self. but, is it weird that seeing him makes me a bit more confident in my own leadership skills? I dont know. anyway, he's funny. god even him just living his life and breathing is hilarious. i want to see you suffer little man (not in a whump way i want to see him get mad, eat shit, and react to ridiculous shit)

-JADE!!!! i miss her a lot. finally she's in the game. she's one of the nicest and the coolest of the beta kids. and i envy her house a lot. im sick of her being out of the loop. also, just from her science alone, she's pretty OP. she dont need powers to defeat the imps. she's very much my favorite out of the beta kids

-i cannot believe dave resorts to ruining the stock market. he would have liked nfts. cant believe that plotline exists and it was actually an elaborate troll plot. i cant wait to see him blossom to his cool future selves. caw caw motherfucker was impressive as hell despite being ridiculous. i have no idea how his sprite make that cool. also, his bro's dead? its kinda sad. like, i know the training and the smuppet shit wasnt exactly healthy and sane but, its still a tragedy that he never really get the chance to understand his parent or get closure. bro's dead. thats it.

[misqnon]

hi. march. slowly shortening this introduction to my posts. sorry if this is a little incoherent i woke up in the middle of the night and im getting sleepy again

i tried looking up fanfiction involving hannyabul and magellan the other day and there was almost none??? i really thought theyd be .. at least a little popular ... the dynamics... arent the dynamics similar to zosan or cavendish and bartolomeo.. dont people like that.. (i wouldnt know since ive never really been a fan of the enemies/rivals to lovers trope)

im pretty sure kidd wears a beast pirate disguise? and like .. good for him... (good for me).. hes got the titties out. i love men. i also rly enjoy the few frobin moments we get when theyre in disguise, theyre super cute!! it seems like u havent been spoiled on the Biggest Moments in wano so im very very glad to hear that. it also kind of has a mystery aspect so i think its probably way more enjoyable to go in blind. there IS a special kind of anticipation when u know what's coming but.. imo its more fun to guess how things will go rather than know and be excited about it

honestly i didnt care for the setting either. in the anime tho .. big mom's introduction is so good. theres a song that plays (its in the manga too but it's way better to hear it rather than... read lyrics) and when i started wci i was still watching the anime, so i got to listen to the song. it was stuck in my head for days. very catchy. i love how theatrical it is and it really made me excited for the arc .. and then i ended up barely enjoying it LOL. also i do actually love pudding but her age also makes me go... ewww. oda made an awful decision making her 16 . gives me kyros flashbacks.. although sanji doesnt seem to be genuinely interested in her. but still like why did oda do that... why... what is the point ... wci does pick back up a bit imo after they get sanji back (which i think is the part ur at? or a little bit after?) and i honestly think it wraps up quite nicely. and yeah.. most importantly.. katakuri is introduced in the second half. lovely guy. i heart him

robin's va did that in. one take??? that is Insane?? she genuinely channeled robin in that moment wtf

i will definitely talk abt opla if/when i watch it. even if zoro doesnt have his goofiness at least i can thirst over him. am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........ also i can definitely see how jacob being too hot is an issue for usopp LOL. some people just.. ooze confidence.. and are too smooth. i think ill probably enjoy his characterization anyways tho cuz i adore usopp

i cant draw women for the life of me but transfem sanji is haunting my brain and.. she made me attempt .. attempt to draw a lady. its her. shes the lady.

YOU THOUGHT OF ME??? im so flattered U have no idea aikfjshdjd. law.. i.. hes a little fucked up.. human art pieces . actually as someone who's done a bit of sculpture (but not abstract art. and it was ceramics) i can appreciate it. if he didnt use real living people in his art i would definitely appreciate it more.. but i imagine seeing a severed head on a sculpture and then they start talking to u.. i imagine that would be a Little.. scary... just a little . i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law .

i think its semi canon?? theres a moment in the anime (idk if its in the manga or not) where bepo gives law.. puppy dog? eyes? but like .. polar bear version. and law is clearly weak to that. also he calls chopper a tanuki even after being asked not to bc chopper has a cute reaction (he gets mad). so i think he IS weak to cute animals. he is very similar to robin like that... they would definitely bond over choppers cuteness. and they both have weird taste.. in cute animals. its not bunnies or idk. dogs or cats. robin likes pathetic animals (the dragon that had to carry them all up to zou) and law likes . bepo. a 7 foot tall polar bear man.

THATS SUCH A STRANGE COINCIDENCE. this is my first time moving since ive lived in the same place my whole life .. so its kinda exciting and also kinda scary.

OH so u can send images but it just cant be on anon. im.. one day... one day for sure.. (soon). i grew up on twitter tho .. yeah. and before that it was youtube. i have been on the internet since the beginning of time (since i was in single digits. like 5 maybe idk, but i do remember being able to make my own youtube account at 7, and i had been using my brothers before that). my dark past. since ive been on the internet so long i just accept that theres probably a load of my personal information out there for anyone to see. and also a bunch of embarrassing things I've said from years ago. sometimes i come across a youtube comment from when i was like 9 and its always a bit shocking LOL

I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED WITH SESSHOMARU. when i found out .... it .. it .. i.... i dont have words. its so upsetting 😭. actually ive kind of been trying to get into vocaloid bc i recently (like 2 years ago) found out i had been listening to it.. and i didnt know. i didnt realize it was vocaloid

LOL, i say IT COUNTS. i dont draw in my mind cuz i have slight aphantasia. i imagine drawing in ur head is way more relaxing than actually drawing... cuz like... the struggle of anatomy.. proportions.. lighting.. colors.. yeah art is so hard.

there havent been any sbs's recently i dont think?? like they stopped at some point during wano and .. idk what happened. i miss it .. i want to ask about the giant snails that pull germa's ship... well i want someone else to ask about it really . not me. but yeah i have a lot of questions and i just hope it comes back soon 😔. maybe im just missing them somehow but i have checked multiple places. but for some reason i dont see anyone mention it.

RIGHT?? RIGHT???? dont worry the colorism stays /s. they have characters in the latest episodes that are dark skinned and they made only the girl lighter skinned. oda didnt do that. oda made them all the same in the manga. its infuriating.

an issue i have post timeskip is that i actually cannot tell the women apart half the time. they all look pretty similar in the manga, although theyre distinguishable by their clothes and hair. but there was a spread (not colored) that had the main one piece women all in different clothes and with different hair and i sat there for multiple minutes trying to figure out who was who. like i genuinely couldnt tell. i miss nami's short hair,, it had so much character.. and i also miss robins short hair.. again.. it had so much character.

even on a colored cover i had a moment where i was like "is that vivi or is it nami" because it was just a solid blue. i assumed vivi based off context clues and bc.. blue. but if i hadnt had that.. i dont think i wouldve been able to tell. i have no problem with character design changing but oda makes most of the women next to indistinguishable from one another now. its really upsetting. if they had different skin tones or even just. different eye shapes. or different figures. it wouldnt be that much of an issue. but nooo he cant do that. all women who are supposed to be attractive have to look the same.

YEAH ive seen that video!!! u show up a lot on my feed but most of the time its just... the same few posts... which is kind of funny. I ALSO LOVED THE NEWKAMA!! like wow!!! queer representation??? i feel a kinship with these characters?? bon clay literally made impel down for me. my favorite boygirl girlboy. i adore u bon clay.. i adore u.

im a big fan of fukaboshi so i think anytime he was on screen my enjoyment was elevated. also zoro fighting hody(is that who it was) underwater was so cool . like how are u better than a fishman in water??? and the moments with noah... it felt like it was setting up some rly big things and i always love stuff like that. LOL YEAH sanji was even grosser on return to sabaody. i think its just not talked about as much because it wasnt a long arc and he wasnt on screen for a lot of it

oh they for sure have some good points. i also miss the silly shenanigans of pre timeskip. but overall im enjoying post timeskip more, and i do think theyre at least a LITTLE BIT blinded by nostalgia. its hard not to be tbh. i do really miss seeing all the crew together. i dont exactly mind them splitting up but .. i feel like a lot of them end up kind of sidelined. we dont get to see (just some examples) brook or chopper or nami fight much and i. i love them.. i love them just as much as the rest of the crew. i think nami has a really interesting fighting style. and brook is just fun. and people complain (validly) that chopper has been mascotified. which i wouldnt mind so much if he got more cool moments but he doesnt!! we dont even get to see him being a doctor that often :(.

like the writing is still fantastic but yeah. i agree. oda has basically run the jokes that were already pretty tired. into the ground. sanji being the one who suffers most from it. i dont mind robin having more moments where she imagines a really gruesome thing has happened to someone, for example. because she barely did that pre timeskip, and now she only does it occasionally so its not like "oh my god STOP". its still enjoyable. but. idk if theres even a prominent example of someone's character joke being awful other than sanji. like hes the only one who has a consistently awful joke. that in my opinion has never been funny. and its been made into a huge part of his character. i still love post timeskip to death bc. look at everything thats happening!! but i have a lot . lot . lot of gripes with it.

fellow impel down and dressrosa lover 🫡. i do rly like water 7 but . i dont know why but i never enjoyed enies lobby all that much. i think thats probably super controversial LOL. oops.

oh friend... u have no idea..... i have SO many one piece thoughts ... i have paragraphs upon paragraphs of one piece thoughts... the hyperfixation is actively killing me /j

wait let me. find . some.. i send them all in my private (as in its just me and my irl best friend) discord server so its not only in chronological order from when i sent the messages but its also extremely disorganized.. hmm a lot of these are/involve huge spoilers LOL

wait. how do u feel about sanji with heterochromia. one eye is blue and the other is brown . u get the best of both worlds... i felt like i was smart for this but ur the resident sanji lover. u have the say (in my mind) of what is best for him,,,

i saw someone say usopp would get conquerers haki and i big time disagree. he has the best observation haki in the crew and i feel like him getting conquerers haki would kinda cheapen that. and it cheapens his growth. why does he need to have conquerers haki to be a brave warrior of the sea? hes doing perfectly well without it. and also i dont think it fits his character. hes cowardly, has no self confidence, runs away from battles sometimes out of fear, and definitely has a huge sense of shame. from what i know, people with conquerers haki are usually super self assured, strong in a pretty traditional sense, and dont have much self doubt. usopp is like the opposite of that. i think hes very brave because he fights despite how scared he is, but the character archetype just doesn't work imo. like usopp without those characteristics is. to me. not usopp. tell me what u think!! also im like 90% sure none of this is spoilery but if it is i am so so sorry

obviously i havent seen the live action yet but live action shanks looks too hot to me.. like hes too conventionally attractive. i want him to be.. a rat man.. greasy .. but extremely charming.. and hes NOT!! hes just regular hot!??

do all places in one piece just have extra chairs or tables that are bigger? cuz there are some characters that arent of the giant race but are huge. and yet they fit on regular chairs. do u have a 8 foot tall guy walk into ur bar and u have to say "wait a second, we need to get out the big chairs" and then drag out a chair twice ur size? is that the case EVERYWHERE? or do some places not have big chairs so if ur extremely large u just have to sit in a chair thats too small for u.. or maybe u just sit on the floor. or stand.

that scene in sabaody of usopp asking rayleigh if the one piece is real, and luffy gets mad and tells usopp that he doesnt want to know, and if he finds out he will quit right now because he wont go on an adventure that isnt any fun. luffy is such a chill, silly captain, that im sure him snapping like that must be scary. usopp looked so shocked. i love their relationship. i think moments like that. really solidify how real the characters feel. like yeah, they have strong, defined morals. and they will argue and be childish and yell for the sake of their morals. i feel like a lot of media has characters with morals but it doesn't ever show them actually disagreeing with someone. let alone a friend. idk im not wording this great but i think this moment is so good. i love the moments of childishness in one piece. its very humanizing to have immaturity in ur characters

ok thats what ill leave u with for now :)

IM GLAD THAT MADE U LAUGH!! i felt really called out by constantly seeing it bc.. yeahm.. admittedly .. cannibalism is sexy sometimes.. i recently admit this to myself...

"i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law ."

i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing march .

*nods* march 🫡

i dont think i’ve ever actually met someone who doesn’t like enemies to lovers before?? ik its popular bc its one of my favs and im happy about that bc im always nosedeep in the content SFNKJDN. valid tho. i cant speak bc ive written two 50K+ zosan fanfics and will probably write more 🧍I’LL USE THOSE SKILLS TO WRITE HANYAGELLAN FOR YOU. HAHA JK …UNLESS

so ive only met kidd once or twice right. i met him in sabaody pre-timeskip when the worst generation got introduced and he’s had a couple small moments since then. but i just feel and know in my heart that i would be a kidd girlie. red haired angry anime men are one of those specific niches i’m like YEAAA YEAAA [CHEERING] and people are always talking about his tits in the one piece server i’m in so. DFJNVIDJ HELL YEAH IM READY FOR THAT

and frobin…hell yea…theyre so cute…my weirdo couple…

actually!! im reading the manga on tcbscans and there’s a comment section under every chapter that i like to read bc its cool seeing ppl’s reactions (as i’ve said) and in big mom’s intro chapter someone was like “if ur manga only look up her song rn its actually so good” so i did and YEA. ITS SO FUN?? AND THEATRICAL?? AND I LOVE THE MELODY?? like ok big mom go off

yea i already knew pudding was 16 bc i was all up in sanji’s business and reading about wci when i joined the fandom but I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KYROS AND I WAS SO MAD WHEN THAT REVEAL HAPPENED!??!!? I WAS LIKE DAMN ODA HAS DONE THIS SHIT LIKE 3 TIMES NOW?? for the third one i count shirahoshi. even though she didnt have a love interest it was nasty for him to make a character so obviously meant to be so beautiful and sought-after and sexualized and then make her a teenager. plus vander decken . existed.

OOH YEA THEY JUST GOT SANJI BACK AND THEY’RE TALKING WITH BEGE ABOUT AN ALLIANCE RN. I PLAN TO READ MORE TONIGHT SO WE WILL SEE 👁️

“am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........” this is so real

U DREW TRANSFEM SANJI?? HAH?? HELLO?? HELLO MAY I SEE??

i have an art degree and tbh i support law and his human sculptures wholeheartedly. its very dada of him imo. but abstract art seems more up his alley. regardless i know some of my professors would have been like “live human sculpture…wow…that is so Art” very marina abromavic of him as well. but um yeah he should still go to therapy tho. yea

robin and law 🤝 “cool and collected” characters thinking fucked up weird animals are cute

i’ve moved like 9 times in my life this is just another day in the life [eyebags the size of dinner plates]

(looks at the other ask in my inbox) oh yeah…very soon

omg. i started getting on the internet in single digits but to like. get on mylittlepony.com and play facebook games. i started being more “ONLINE” around probably 10 or 11 though and i made my tumblr account when i was 12 💀 i, too, sometimes see something old i posted and just go Oh God 

and i DEF had/have too much personal info online bc of that but i’ve tried to cut it down lately in the interest of ~ internet safety ~ . i dont use my first name online as much (hence going by mont in addition to the. trans-ness) and i took all my selfies off my blog. but who knows what else i put up and have forgotten about

RUMOKI TAKAHASHI I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ‼️‼️ RUINING BEGRUDGING FATHER/ ADOPTED DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER (jk i still love it but now im always just scared of. betrayal)

I LOVE VOCALOID!! i’ve been into vocaloid basically since i started being online (although i dont keep up with a lot of CURRENT vocaloid news so im like an old man who didnt keep up with the times. i love the original crypton 6 (miku, rin, len, meiko, kaito, luka) + gumi and gakupo but until a couple years ago i was like “What The Fuck is a Fukase” jbfvhjdn

i’ve caught up to date a little bit and still consider myself currently a vocaloid fan but yea im like a genwunner of vocaloid but just bc im lazy not bc im pretentious djsnkj

i actually saw kikuo (my fav vocaloid producer) in concert in january!! my first and only vocaloid concert…(but only bc he happened to be touring with bo en. no miku hologram for me)

ur like the third person ive met with aphantasia! and. yea its much easier in my head </3 why did i major in that shit </3 

WAIT REALLY?? THEY DONT DO SBS ANYMORE?? I LOVE SBS :( I ALSO HAVE SOME ONGOING QUESTIONS I WANT ANSWERED!! (that i want someone else to ask kjvfnkfn) i looked it up and didnt see much at a cursory glance aside from the fact that sbs happens every volume instead of chapter (?) who knows but i hope they didnt stop completely…

toei feel my wrath re: the racism. oda also feel my wrath re: the sexism. and the racism (why do you use the same skin color for everyone in the colorspreads…oda PLEASE) and the worst part about the nami clone thing is that we know he can draw women differently. have u seen how he drew young big mom. she was so hot. and yet he chooses NOT TO!!

FKJNKDLS WHY AM I WHATS NEW PUSSYCATTING ON YOUR FEED. WITH THE CANNIBALISM POST TOO. I POST SO MUCH GOOD CONTENT TUMBLR WTH </3 (LYING)

YEA I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED HOW WELL DONE THE IMPEL DOWN REPRESENTATION FELT?? THAT WHEN WE GOT TO KAMABAKKA I WAS LIKE why did we go…backwards…but they cant take the impel down newkama land away from me. that scene where iva makes a speech about gender and does a little performance made me feel so seen on screen even if oda meant for it to be tokenism or something. i think he thinks we (gay ppl) are cool but doesnt quite get it. like he saw gay ppl and went “this would work with my silly art style so well. transgenderism is a thrilling character trait” and then did not attempt to understand much after that KDCKJS

FUKABOSHI MY BELOVED actually all 3 of the fishman princes…when they cheered up shirahoshi during the scene where their mom was murdered i actually cried as they danced and sang through their own tears. like wtF. AND YEA ZORO ALMOST DROWNED SO MANY TIMES THAT ARC BUT HE WAS STILL COOL AND HOT 😔 the noah was also a cool concept!! you see the noah’s arc thing come up a lot in anime for some reason?? like my d gray man loving ass was like huh…okay two nickels…

ur so right about the sidelining (its like anyone that isnt the east blue 5) and especially about chopper. aside from being mascotified i wish he wasnt baby-fied too (which stems from the mascot problem). like…he’s 17. chopper is a full ass teenager, not a child. I GET that he’s a reindeer and also very naive but imagine how cool he could have been post timeskip…horn point chopper is my fav bc i just love the design but IMAGINE IF HE LOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!

and he could have so much more development in terms of constantly seeing his crewmates near death and always having to fix it…or just him improving as a doctor! i dont think we get to see chopper doctor enough but we also dont get to see him struggle! (m really just over here advocating for more depression and more hardship for chopper im so sorry king)

a lot of the running jokes i can still get behind (zoro getting lost will never not be funny to me idk how it hasnt gotten old but it hasnt okay) maybe bc its so harmless?? robin’s gruesome joke i agree, its not overdone so i still like it. mean nami slapstick i’ve never liked but can get a chuckle out of me every once in a while. brook panty joke L 👎brook skull jokes would be funny but they’re always too easy 👎 and yea sanji is the worst victim. i found it somewhat funny/endearing pre thriller bark when it was mostly harmless swooning and heart eyes but nowadays uhhh [beating him to death with hammers] 

u know what i see ur point on enies lobby. for water 7 it had great new characters and an AWESOME bright and beautiful water city setting but enies lobbies is. just a bunch of white government buildings on an island. the high point is definitely just robin’s moment. and kaku saying “I LOVE GIRAFFES. GIRAFFES ARE AWESOME” 

one piece brainrot is ruining me i have MUCH IDEA !!

OKAY LISTEN . I HAVE HEARD BOTH ROBIN HETEROCHROMIA AND SANJI HETEROCHROMIA AND LIKE. I DONT THINK EITHER ARE / COULD BE CANON BUT. robin heterochromia is so fun. and sanji heterochromia although for some reason i dont feel like it fits him HAS POTENTIAL bc imagine when he comes back post timeskip with his bangs covering the other eye now and the crew is like “🤨 wait i thought you had blue eyes?” ugh i need it. ive seen a LITTLE art and like 1 fic of heterochromia sanji and its very entertaining for sure i always eat it up even tho i dont necessarily headcanon it. i am so glad i have authority on this in ur mind btw. [clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court

i agree about usopp and conqueror’s haki! like damn we already got two of them with it dont we…although i saw someone on youtube somewhere suggest he could have “conquerer’s observation” ?? idk enough about haki to understand that but it sounds cool 👍 its not spoilery so dw! although that yt comment made me think like “if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…” who knows…i mean i know zoro has conqueror’s haki bc of spoils but idk how or when that happens (wano, i assume. idk how i feel about that yet bc much as i love the green guy sometimes i feel like he’s favored a bit for the op stuff) and you made some really solid points about usopp’s character too!! part of me was like “damn sanji the only monster trio member not to have conqueror’s haki…” but he could not have it for. several of the same reasons u listed for usopp lmao AND THATS OK!! THOSE THINGS ARE REASONS I LIKE THEM BOTH 

“live action shanks is too hot” ok then explain this

you know what. that is. a good question. why do they get so big btw. like humans come in all sizes but why. is it to do with the gravity of the planet cause its so huge and got so many moons…thats how i explain half of the unrealistic things in this show lmao. maybe they just stand. its more Intimidating™. sorry villains dont get to sit (although that makes me think about that time doffy was just sitting on the table in the middle of the warlord meeting?? did u see that post?? its a screenshot like why did they let him on the table like that. evil cat behavior from local bird man)

THATS A GOOD SCENE TO POINT OUT. YEA YEA YEA YUOU GET IT. i loooove the serious luffy moments. ive said it a million times but luffy is intelligence 5 wisdom 20. luffy is actually very selfish but in a way that i dont hate…he just wants to be free. and free others. and he lives so in the moment. he’s so different from so many people that he’s very fascinating as a character to watch, esp bc he DOES have moments like u mentioned that make him feel real and have boundaries. u know its funny bc luffy is like the most open accepting character that its hilarious how many times ive seen something oda has written/done and been like “luffy would never do this. the character u made up and continue to write would be more accepting than this.” like luffy is totally chill with women, doesnt see them as lesser, never even hints at this like even zoro does, luffy’s super chill about bon clay and the newkama, luffy doesnt discriminate based on characters’ races etc etc etc. and yet oda DOEs do all this its like. oda u have to see if bc u MAKE it so why cant U BE MORE LIKE THE GUY YOU MADE UP FDJVKND. i think the only moment i can think of that even vaguely implies luffy knows what a gender role is is when he’s in amazon lily and they put him in a frilly shirt and he’s like “i dont wanna wear this. this isnt my style at all” but its all about his OWN preferences and not about anyone else’s. u get me??

“cannibalism is sexy sometimes” u get it. u get it. u understand. we are kindred spirits rn. join me

and the end KJFNDKJEN ITS OKAY MARCH LET’S GO TO THERAPY TOGETHER 

to end off here are some of my one piece headcanons (some of which probably will never be canon and im okay with that)

first off sanji is a repressed bisexual and u can tear this from my cold dead hands. post kamabakka he’s gnc too he just wont admit it bc hes a scared little baby bitch. ik it was anime only but that scene were he’s fighting in a dress and caroline keeps telling him to accept himself or some shit as a flower slowly blooms metaphorically in the in-between footage was transgender as hell. also that time someone sent a message to oda in sbs saying like “i’m so glad sanji is girl crazy and not boy crazy” an oda responded “uh, totally” …like is the translation just coming off sarcastic or am i reaching-

i think zoro is gay. he just gives me that vibe ok. 2nd choice he is aroace and luffy is like his qpp or somethin ok (i dont ship zolu but i can admit those bitches got a point bc MAN they really love each other. i like it much better as friendship tho) and on that note luffy is aroace too.

nami is a lesbian. im aware all 3 of these are the popular fandom hcs but idc. this one i have actual evidence for have u seen how she latches onto every woman in each arc. she’s just as bad as sanji she’s just more chill about it /hj

FRANKY IS STRAIGHT BUT HE’S A REALLY LOUD ALLY OKAY . HE’S JUST A COOL DUDE

contrary to fandom hc i think robin and usopp are probably straight. robin would make a very dignified lesbian or bisexual but i think she’s just a weirdgirl straight who’s being a supportive ally with franky. 

brook is probably straight but i think he was also simultaneously in love with yorki a little bit and doesnt talk about it bc yorki is gone now so its not like its gonna happen ever again. soul king “im straight but i had a boyfriend one time” brook

chopper is a reindeer

god what else do i have aside form sexuality headcanons. OH !! this isnt a headcanon but i have a running theory that many of the strawhats are based on classic characters from fiction/pop culture…i keep meaning to make a post about this but im busy

zoro is inspired by zorro. okay easy next

chopper is inspired by rudolph, obviously

usopp is inspired by pinocchio but I DONT SEE THIS ONE MENTIONED AS OFTEN: CYRANO DE BERGERAC!! down to the lying and the long nose and the crush on the rich girl out of his league!!

robin is inspired by matilda in my mind. weirdgirl with mind powers abused by her caregivers and obsessed with books…like okay oda just tell us u read roald dahl

i know sanji was inspired in looks by mr. pink in reservoir dogs but i havent seen that movie so i cant speak on anything else LMAO

i feel like its possible the others were inspired by more that i just am not aware of / might be japanese pop culture and therefore harder for western fans to spot…thoughts?

[thaimolpiyas]

2, 4, and 12 for Gawain!

2. how loosely/strictly do they use the word friend?

- loosely, but mostly because he doesnt really verbally make the distinction between "yes, i know this person well and we have a positive relationship" vs "i have met this person once and have had a Vaguely Positive conversation"

ex. considers neve (sister in law) a very close friend, like a sister to him, considers thresh (another party member who he gets along with) a friend, and considers npcs hes had positive interactions with "friends" (meaning they just get along well, rather than actually being friends. if that makes sense)

he is only slightly hesitant to describe people he knows Definitely Do Not Like Him in the sense that hes like "yeah we're....friends, you could say that"

4. whats a hobby they used to have that they miss?

gawains main hobbies are exercising, cooking, and hiking. i think he likes writing or drawing but hes terrible at it so he doesnt do it often, he also likes working with his hands, so he'll occasionally try woodcarving (which he is also terrible at, but likes it enough).

in the campaign, he's essentially exercising every day so he's satisfied with that, he hasnt gotten to cook much besides a stew, and i don't think he's gone hiking for a good long while, so i think hiking :]

for the past 10ish years he was with family and mostly indoors and right now he can't just fuck off and go take a quiet hike in the middle of nowhere, so. though he has fucked off and gone on a four hour jog so lol

12. whats something that makes them laugh every single time? be specific!

ITS BEEN A WEEK AND I CANT ANSWER THIS IM SORRY genuinely nothing comes to mind. i think alot of jokes in general would either fly over his head or get a vague huff of laughter and if it does get like, a full bellied laugh, its probably rare

[eye-of-the-hawk]

Rage is a quiet thing You think that you’ve tamed it But it’s just lying in wait

[givemelawsanandillloveyou]

I can’t believe being deprived of lawsan content actually made me draw.

[baby-xemnas]

Aaaaa don't mind me spam liking ur beautiful art. Ur amazing art persuade me to ship Law x Bepo. ❤️❤️❤️

It also made me realize that I really like the best friend to lovers or the captain x first mate trope as I'm more of a Luzo/Zolu shipper.

Anyway, do u have any Law x Bepo fanfic recommendations? U r the only artist I know who does Law x Bepo and wish there r more art and fics of them 🥲 Maybe I should check more on Pixiv and Twitter 🤔

Sorry for the long message.

yes you should check pixiv under ロベポ tag there is one incredible super on model artist that draws them i'd link but im on my phone in bed but youll know when youll see. won me over huge thanks to them for making so much great stuff n not deleting it

🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 luzo lover solidarity they are the greatest

Thank you for the long message and im so glad i got you to like them ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cant rec you fic cuz theres rly nothing to my taste on ao3 (there are a couple novels on pixiv tho but its a pain to read w a translator. worth it for me tho) but pixiv got art for which im grateful

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Matt Murdock’s child (Part 1)

Matt Murdock x child!reader

warnings: teen!dad matt. it’s not portrayed as like, a weird or horrible thing, it’s more of a growing up together type of deal. also blood, injury, death, alcohol AND there is a mention of the SA that made matt become daredevil (i put a tw in red right before it’s discussed and a couple red dots where it ends)

a/n: this gonna sound weird but the humor in this gives me the same vibes as me and my own dad’s humor. ALSO im cutting this off after season 1 because it got REALLY LONG

prompt:

part 2 part 3 part 4

matt wanted you to have a more stable life than him

which was a little hard considering when became a dad

by the time he went to law school, you were about 8

“is this room 312?” -matt

“yeah, who you looking for..? oh, sorry” -foggy

you dragged in your tiny suitcase behind him

“blind and a single dad? you’re getting all the ladies, aren’t you?” -foggy “how did you even manage to get a kid in here?”

“special arrangements were made, i’m quite persuasive. good thing i’m in law school” -matt

one time, your dad revealed (without much cause for worry) that he “always knows when you are lying” because he can “hear your heartbeat” and instead of that being a cute little motivation for you to always be honest, you literally spent months training yourself to outmaneuver him and you can pass just about any lie detector test. now he just has to take your word for things

being a little shit

“you smell really bad, foggy” -you

“that’s a little harsh…nevermind, thanks for letting me know” -foggy, sniffing himself

matt definitely didn’t want you to fight or be vigorously trained, but he did teach you a few moves because, well. they could help

he also got you some karate lessons to keep you occupied while he had class or internship stuff when you were done with school (which you loved to show off when you got home)

basically abusing foggy (but you were widdle so it wasn’t too serious)

“matt, can you ask your gremlin to stop kicking me?” -foggy

“y/n, stop kicking foggy” -matt

“never!” -you

“that’s it!” -foggy, throwing you over his shoulder

don’t get me wrong, foggy grew to love you, he was family for sure

you cant really draw anything for your dad so all of your masterpieces started going to “uncle foggy”

but when you made stuff out of clay or something…those ones went to your dad

“oh, thank you! is it…a dragon?” -matt, feeling the details

“it is a dragon, do you like it?” -you

“i love it” -matt

“how come i don’t get a dragon?” -foggy, pouting

“because your eyeballs work” -you, using your fingers to stretch your eyelids wide open

eventually, matt and foggy graduated and you moved back to hell’s kitchen, where things got…crazy.

by then you were about 13 or so, so much more experience in being the worst (jk your dad loves you)

*you, trying to sneak a beer without even having your hand on the bottle yet*

“absolutely not, don’t even think about it” -matt

“blindness gave you omnipotence? ugh, you suck” -you

“then you half-suck. it’s hereditary” -matt

matt being REALLY worried about you in hell’s kitchen, but you insisted you’d be perfectly fine walking back and forth from your bus stop

he got u a taser

that was just a horrible idea you love the sound of the zaps

foggy felt threatened

it wasn’t very long before your dad turned to vigilantism, and it wasn’t very hard for you to figure it out

“what’s up with the mask, dad?” -you

“what, uh, what are you talking about?” -matt

“did you think i was actually asleep on the couch last night? are you crazy?” -you

you happened to have an uncomfortable tether on reality that happened somewhere down the line

and your dad knew he could be real with you, but he hated to be. he really did

matt didn’t exactly love growing up in his “reality,” he wanted things to be so much sweeter for you

but coming home bloody and bruised every night wouldn’t make your life any sweeter

in a way, you did think your dad was awesome and kind of badass, but he was literally all you had and from the stories he told you, you could fall into the same boat any day now

“holy shit, are you…are you okay?” -you

“what’d we talk about with your language?” -matt, very injured

“what’d we talk about with your ass getting beaten?” -you, grabbing the med supplies

you reminding your dad of a young him fixing up his own dad after fights.

he didn’t know if that was good or bad

hanging out at nelson and murdock after school

“didn’t say you could drink coffee either” -matt

“you’d think with a blind dad i’d have an easier time sneaking around but noooo” -you

you and him had a great sense of humor

“his greatest accident was me” -you

*karen nearly spitting out her coffee*

“his worst accident was meeting my mom, though” -you “it ties with being blind”

oh yes your favorite joke was definitely the “i was a mistake” one and you milked it frequently, matt got in on the action too

“the teacher said i made a grammar mistake” -you

“i made a mistake once…you” -matt

oh and you both milked the hell out of the blind thing

“every time i look at you—” -you, trying to sass him

“every time i look at you i can’t see” -matt

oh and then

“actually, i’m the reason he’s blind. that’s what you get when you lay you eyes on the most beautiful baby to ever exist” -you

“you were an ugly baby, i literally felt it” -matt

it’s actually a birthday tradition for him to touch your face and “see how much you’ve grown”

“oh, a new pimple!” -matt

“alright, that’s enough from you” -you, laughing

karen and you having a pretty sick friendship (she likes when you tell embarrassing stories about matt and foggy)

“and then foggy threw up and—” -you

“why don’t i get you some coffee, y/n?” -foggy, wheeling your rolling chair far, far away

knowing more than you should, about life and the city. especially the fisk dealings

which kind of freaked you out, especially when death and destruction became more and more common

“dad? please be careful out there. you’re all i’ve got” -you

“i know…just stay put for now. please” -matt

he makes breakfast for you on special days. or when he needs to say sorry for coming home at 4am with intense injuries you have to care for

“i made waffles…” -matt

“i’m still mad at you” -you

“can you be mad at me while you eat the waffles?” -matt

claire thought you were pretty neat

loved your attitude and all

“met your kid on my way in, real character” -claire

“oh…god. what did they say?” -matt

“‘please identify your relationship to my father. friend or booty call’” -claire

“and your answer?” -matt

“the former, of course” -claire

every once in a while, your voice would boom through whatever room you found yourself in, yelling:

“en garde!” -you

“y/n, put down my walking cane” -matt

“you will have to earn it in combat!” -you

if you were in front of foggy or karen or anyone else, he’d just laugh while you poked him

but if you were home alone…

“oh, it’s on!” -matt

obviously, you both knew you couldn’t quite best him, but you could get a few hits and blocks in, for sure. and he always took it easy on you

“do you yield?” -you, poking him in the stomach

“i yield, oh no, how ever will i be able to walk the streets of new york without my cane” -matt, completely monotone

feeling bad that you keep hiding matt’s secret, especially from foggy. like, especially from him

but saying the darnedest things to throw them off the trail

“how do we know that the man in black isn’t johnny cash, hm? i’d like to know…when the man comes around” -you

“what the hell?” -acceptable answer from anyone

whenever matt goes out for any endeavor, whether masked or merriment, you always get the same trusting warning. no really, he trusted you on your own

“be good” -matt

“no” -you

other acceptable answers include: “absolutely not” “you wish” “‘good’ is a point of view” “that’s subjective” “if all your beer is gone, someone robbed us” “i’d throw a party if i had friends” “will you?” “yeah, right” “oh, okay, i’ll try that” “well, i was planning a murder tonight, but just because you said that—” “if i’m not, minors still get lighter sentencing, and i know a good lawyer. you know, at landman and zack”

matt doesn’t push his religion on you. he encourages religious debates if you have any. if you do, he steers you clear of the church. if you don’t, maybe you go to a service every once in a while.

“that’s not very catholic of you” -you, every time matt does something “bad”

working out with him at fogwell’s gym (when he’s not a complete and utter mess)

punching bags are your jam

every once in a while, he’ll teach you something new

sometimes, you get real with him

“do you ever like, put on that outfit or get the shit beat out of you and think ‘wow, maybe i am crazy for doing this?’” -you

“why, because im blind?” -matt

“because you’re a father” -you

when foggy found out, he was pretty mad at matt. but he didn’t know how to feel with you

you were a kid, matt’s kid, but he was family to you, he was devastated you didn’t share

a/n: this is where SA is talked about, there will be a line of red dots where it ends and the font goes back to normal size (also keep in mind that the hypothetical situation that y/n explains does not automatically imply reader is fem)

you decided to go after foggy on your own and talk to him since matt had revealed the injustice that set him down his path, the abused girl down the street

“foggy, you have to understand—especially as a lawyer—that the legal system doesn’t always work. dad did what he needed to do” -you

“i’m not saying i don’t understand that, but it’s matt. your dad, matt. my best friend, matt. he’s getting his shit rocked every night because of some domino effect?” -foggy

“foggy, do you blame him for going after some sick and twisted father for doing that to his daughter? what if it were me, foggy? what if you were put in his shoes and you found out that was happening to me?” -you

“dont—please don’t go there. that—it doesn’t—” -foggy

“he figured out he could do more than just that. do you think i’m not afraid of losing my father? i absolutely am, but he’s not easily stopped or slowed down. believe me, i’ve tried” -you

••••••

“well, why didn’t you just tell me?” -foggy

“uh because snitches get stitches” -you

“w-what?! no, no. crazy guys who run around in their pajamas get stitches! there’s one laying on your couch!! snitches get deals, you should know this!!” -foggy, very urgently slamming his hand in the other

going back to your dad like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “i did my best”

putting stickers where they dont belong (3D/puffy stickers for matt)

getting frequent calls from foggy when matt is late to work

“foggy, i’m at school! what??” -you

“did matt come home last night?” -foggy

“don’t know, i didn’t check” -you

“you didn’t check to see if your dad was still alive?!?” -foggy

“well, sorr-y, i was under the assumption he was a big boy who could take care of himself” -you

“well, he’s not!!!” -foggy

kinda being the awkward “middle man”/messenger for foggy and matt while they fight

“foggy asked me to ask you to…hold on” -you, uncrinkling paper “‘go fuck yourself, you selfish, blind asshole.’ okay, i was mistaken. it was not a question”

as stresses from the city, your dad, foggy, school, and then some really started setting in, your hardened, sheltered emotions started surfacing for the first time in a long time, shocking many

but matt was there to hold you when you cried

and foggy, too

and even karen. and she always asks about you when you’re not around.

when fisk was brought to justice (or so it seemed), celebration at the office was called for…and foggy snuck you some alcohol

“don’t tell your dad, you swear?” -foggy

“y/n, were you…drinking?” -matt, 5 mins later when karen left the room

“shit, i forgot about your freaky sense of smell” -you

“alright, kiddo, wrap it up. let’s get you home before ‘uncle foggy’ sneaks you anymore alcohol. shame on you, franklin” -matt

“i know, i’m the worst” -foggy

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot-recs // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @popeheywardssecretgf // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @zoeyserpentluck // @wild-rose-35 // @confessions-of-a-adhd-teen // @itachisdangos // @nekoannie-chan // @punk-rock-raven //

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this