#also james acaster's reaction

[themushroomblues]

And, it goes without saying, my new best friend, the laminating queen, five fat points.

[snaggletoothedbastard]

me: *proudly showing my best friend my new cane. important note: i am 4'10" and was wearing a newsboy cap at the time*

my best friend: nice. it really completes the tiny tim look

me:

[bringbacktim]

Reposting this on here because I just re watched season 11 of taskmaster and I love Greg Davies so enjoy I guess (feel free to request any greg Davies fics)

Dressing room- Greg Davies

Warnings: use of degrading words(slut, whore , cockslut etc) , dom and subs, use of the word pussy )

Not edited or proofread

Wc: 706 words

It was a well known fact that Greg Davies and Y/n Y/l/n were dating , so when it was announced she was going to be a contestant on taskmaster everyone knew it was bound to be invasive and hilarious

The contestants alongside her this season were : James Acaster, Mike Wozniak, Sarah Millican , and Joe Thomas. ( my absolute favourite contestants + a few)

Y/n was excited to see her boyfriend pretend to be mean on TV ( it turned her on let's be honest)

She had been a little bratty towards Greg these last few days and it was definitely going to show in this episode

They barely spoke backstage before going onstage which was unusual, and she knew she was going to pay for it later

After all the introductions and weird/funny monologue that Alex does it was time for the prize task , this episode it was 'sneakiest thing' and she thought it'd be funny to bring in something of his from their house just to see his reaction

James brought a dog mask with his new book 'James Acaster's guide to quitting social media' hidden behind it for publicity. This earned him 4 points

Mike Wozniak brought in a pen which he got Greg to sign a piece of paper saying "Well done for your five points", telling Greg that it was for Tseikna Engsith doing well on a test. It was then revealed that the pen Greg used was a spy pen and recorded Greg reading the sentence out loud. It was then revealed that Tseikna Engsith is an anagram of "Sneakiest thing". He received 5 points

Sarah brought in a knock knock joke with parts of the answer hidden in people's pockets: Sarah in Greg's pocket, Pinhead in Mike's pocket and Millican in Joe's pocket. She also got Alex's wife to mail her two of Alex's socks which she was wearing. She also received 4 points.

Joe brought in a fake Oxford Dictionary containing a Pearson's Mini Dictionary. He received 2 points.

Finally , Y/n brought it in a pair of trousers from his dressing room , which backfired because he knew they were missing. Earning her a single point for the idea

"This is so unfair, how could you of possibly known" she sulked

"I'm the boss , people tell me things" he said with a serious face

"Just be glad I didn't bring what I was originally planning to" she said with a devious smirk

"I already know what you're talking about and I'm so glad you didn't"

The first few tasks were shown on screen and the couple shared a few little arguments and banter between them , as Greg said his farewell to part one he went back to his dressing room hoping for her to be there as well

He was in luck as he pushed the door open and there she stood

"You think you're so funny , don't you?" He said clearly angry

"Probably because I am" she said back like a school kid

"Don't think you'll find it funny when you can't walk after the break because I've fucked you silly over this vanity" he said taking a stride over to her

"Is that a promise?" That was the last straw before he grabbed her hips in his hands and roughly bent her over the vanity and stared at her through the mirror as he stripped them both of their trousers

"God I forgot what a whore you are for my cock " he said feeling how wet she was as she hummed in response knowing if she opened her mouth a moan would come out

"Your pussy is so greedy , always wanting my cock pounding you , don't you?" He questioned already knowing the answer

"Yeah that's what I thought, now you're going to stay quiet like the cockslut you are while I punish you"  he said hoping this would be over quickly so they wouldn't get caught

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

what are some tasks youd like to see contestants from different series attempt? (if that makes sense haha)

So first of all, I'm sitting here after the second Champion of Champions episode finished airing but before I've been able to find it online, so I've been interacting with Tumblr very carefully. Opened it up but put my hand over the main bit to avoid seeing any spoilers about who won, so I could make a post about the just-released season 14 lineup. Then I saw this message, clicked on it, and then immediately realized that someone might have seen CoC2 and decided they wanted to say something about it to me, and I may have just wasted all my spoiler avoiding-efforts. I was very disappointed in myself for the split second it took this message to open, and I would like to thank you for sending something that was not the spoiler-y message I feared.

Instead, you sent me a really fun question! I love this, here are some initial answers, and I might come up with more later:

Ed Gamble doing the watermelon task from the very beginning of season 1.

Russell Howard doing the season 12 task in which they had to score a soccer goal.

Sarah Kendall doing the season 13 task where they had to keep their tongue out and lick everything.

I'd like to see Rhod Gilbert do every task in Taskmaster history, but especially high five a fifty-five-year-old.

I would also like to see James Acaster high five a fifty-five-year-old.

I wish they'd kept up the task about buying a gift for the Taskmaster, I think it would be fun to see everyone do that. But especially Bridget Christie. And Joe Lycett. And Mark Watson.

Noel Fielding painting a horse while riding a horse.

Hugh Dennis doing any of the hands-on tasks, like making a coconut flinging machine from season 5, or flinging a shoe into the bath from season 10. Basically, I want to see everyone from season 4 do all the tasks.

Iain Stirling do the task from the beginning of season 12, trying to hit Alex with a ball. Also Lou Sanders.

Mark Watson do any of the tasks with Fred the Swede, because Jesus that would be awkward.

James Acaster doing the season 9 task when they had to make a portrait of Greg on 16 different pages.

I'd like to see Rose Matafeo try to name American states while painting a wolf on a teapot.

I'd like to see Katherine Parkinson try to do all of season 1 by herself.

Lou Sanders send cheeky texts to the Taskmaster.

Sally Phillips do most of the season 13 prize tasks, because so many of them were geared toward helping her achieve her goal of making everything sexual.

Phil Wang doing the continuous noise task from season 8, because I think he’d try the same thing that he used for "best noise" in his own season, and I'd like to see him try to do that while running.

I'd like to see Rose Matafeo try to engage a toddler.

Desiree Burch do the glasses in a box task from season 7, to see her exasperated reaction when she first looks in the lab and sees the drinking glasses. I’m picturing her stacking one glass after another into the box while muttering “Of course, should have known, God, you guys!”

Okay that's what I have for now, this is a fun game. Thank you for sending me something to pass the time while I get annoyed about the new episode not being up yet (by which I mean, get very unfairly annoyed with the lovely people who out of the goodness of their hearts take time to upload these episodes so those of us outside Britain can watch).

[greenandhazy]

btw that gifset from Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999 finally pushed me to buy it, and the whole thing is an absolute gift. like, I really enjoyed James Acaster's Netflix specials and his appearances on Taskmaster and... every other show... but this special is just chef's kiss perfection. he does an incredibly funny 20 minutes on his ex-girlfriend going on to date Mr. Bean while threading the needle of "nothing that happened was unfair to me and if they're happy together that's great but also this is a deeply funny thing to have happened and I have so many great jokes to make about it."

he also talks a lot about, like, deeply personal mental health issues but at one point stops to point out that anything he says onstage is okay to laugh at because he doesn't go to a live audience to process wounds that are still raw--and then riffs on the fact that someone audibly cracked open a can of beer during that section. and towards the end they applaud him for saying something about going to therapy and he breaks a little and goes on for a bit about how the show has gotten some negative reactions on tour that have made him pessimistic about British culture so the support is nice... but also the applause completely ruined the punchline.

and then there are just the standard, brilliant witty Acaster-style narratives. when he talks about how he and his agent parted ways, he mentions that it's unfair for him to tell his side of the story when his agent isn't there to tell his, so to make it more fair, he's going to tell his agent's side of the story. which digresses at one point to how to tell the difference between a duck and a cucumber. there's a running gag about him trying to scare away older, conservative Christians who might be in the audience, and at the end of a particularly raunchy joke he says something like "I didn't like that either, it's not my style of comedy, but anything to drive out the Baptists." (and I think I've already reblogged clips/gifs of these but it's also the show where he talks about celebrity GBBO, Brexit, and edgy/transphobic comedians.)

anyway. he also has a whole thing about telling people not to tweet about the show because the tone won't be right and no one in an audience is funny, and while this is not a tweet I think the message still stands. so I'll leave it there, but--$14 on Vimeo, and worth every penny.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Cinderella (Spoilers)

Disclaimer: I am posting this review the day after the movie airs on Amazon Prime, so if you haven't yet seen it don't read on until you do.

General Reaction:

It is slightly weird to think of another movie studio taking on one of the classic fairy-tales that isn't Disney, because, as I am sure is the case for a large portion of the mainstream audience, Disney have almost claimed fairytale adaptations as their own.

However, as identified, Cinderella, is a fairy tale and one created long before Disney came about. As such, other studios are allowed to put across their own interpretation of these classic stories that we have seen a lot of times adapted at this point.

That being said, we have seen many different adaptations of Cinderella at this point from the classis Disney Animation version and it's live-action counterpart, to modern-day reworkings like A Cinderella Story of the mid-noughties starring Hilary Duff.

It's quite an easy story to tell and adapt to a variety of different settings, and what this 2021 retelling does with the story blends the old-fashioned with the modern. Does that mean it is set apart from the others? Well in my opinion yes and no.

While this is a Sony movie, it plays a lot like a Disney Channel Original Movie. From the comedy to the settings to the costuming and the music, it plays like the best of those types of movies. I'm talking the High School Musical franchise and the Descendants franchise. It is by no means bad or corny, but it isn't even on the level of the 2016 live-action Cinderella.

While that version was pretty much a straightforward live-action version of the original animated version, the style of the movie outweighed the substance.

Here however, there is a great blend of both style and substance. The story takes the classic elements of the original Cinderella fairy tale but tries to inject a modern and feministic twist that the recent live-action Beauty and the Beast tried to do.

In terms of whether this version of Cinderella stands out in the crowd of Cinderella movies, I would say it does. Not only is the titular character race-bent and the setting she is in seemingly plays into that, but the reworking of the Fairy Godmother as the Fab G as well as giving the Stepmother a more humanised backstory allows for a more compelling take on a classic.

Cast:

Because this is just the one all-in review I'm not going to do an in-depth character analysis and instead group the characters as who were my favourites, who did a passable job, who was bad and who were for some reason just there.

Favourites:

I have a top 3/4 favourite characters in this movie. Idina Menzel's Stepmother Vivian, Billy Porter's Fab G, Minnie Driver's Queen Beatrice and additionally Beverly Knight's Queen Tatiana.

Idina Menzel was always going to be fantastic in this movie, but to see her portray what is traditionally the villain character in the movie as a sympathetic character as part of the movie's feminist agenda was an interesting twist. No cat for a start, I don't know if Lucifer was a part of the original fairy tale but of course in the Disney adaptations Lady Tremaine is always accompanied by her faithful feline, but also the fact that her backstory parallels Ella's current story and the fact Vivian was so willing to have Ella reject her passion to do what is expected of her just as was forced on her was actually great motivation.

In truth I have only ever seen Billy Porter in one other thing aside from this movie and that was American Horror Story: Apocalypse. I have never seen Pose though I have heard good things, but from what I understand, Billy Porter only really has one speed. However, as the character's name states, that speed is fabulous. I loved Fab G in this movie, the fairy godmother is usually one of my favourite characters in the movie and every interpretation I have seen has brought something different and memorable. If this version of Cinderella is remembered for anything it will be for this very modernised take on the Fairy Godmother, not only gender-bending and race-bending a traditionally white female character, but with Porter choosing to make the character non-binary and that outfit speaks for itself, Fab G was simply a fabulous character.

In both Disney adaptations, I have never heard mention or reference to Prince Charming having a living mother...or a dead one for that matter. So to not only have the Queen being in a chunk of this movie, but also having her own story branch tying into the feminist agenda running through the movie and being portrayed by Minnie Driver, I was in love with this character.

Pretty much similar to the Fab G, if you've seen Beverly Knight's one second in the trailers you've pretty much seen her in the movie. She contributes to Ella's story in the movie and only appears in the latter half of the movie in 2 maybe 3 scenes but she makes an impact because she's Beverly Knight. My only gripe with her is she does not sing in the movie, you have Beverly Knight with not even a solo in a group number?

Passable:

Unfortunately the star of the movie Camilla Cabello is just passable in this movie as Cinderella. She does have some humour about her and her singing is great despite maybe being autotuned because I know how she can sing, but she doesn't feel like Cinderella to me, it actually feels more like a version of what Emma Watson was doing with Belle in the live-action Beauty and the Beast rather than Cinderella but at least she tried.

As for Nicholas Galitzine, he's definitely more engaging as a modern-day Prince Charming, Robert is definitely more engaging a character than Ella unfortunately, which to be fair is still good as the 2015 Cinderella is the only other adaptation to really make the Prince interesting, but I can't quite put my finger on exactly which movie it is but there is another movie I have seen where the Prince Regent doesn't want to be king but the Princess does and has to fight for her right to be it...that's pretty much this story for them.

Also Pierce Brosnan as the King, despite jokingly singing towards the end, did a great job at being the archetype of old-fashioned values with his on-screen wife Minnie Driver's queen pushing him into a modern-day thinking.

Bad:

As for who's bad, I have to say it pains but the British comic relief characters really let the side down in this movie.

In the three mice defence, Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster are somewhat funny but unnecessary. James Corden however is abismal in this movie. I get he produces it, but particularly after Cats I do not understand 1) Why he'd want to portray another CG animal or 2) Ever think that one shot of him changing back from human to mouse with his head on a mouse body was funny...it was terrifying.

Also this movie is supposedly a family-audience movie...so why include a crass joke of Corden's character talking about peeing out of his front tail?

Additionally to the three mice, Rob Beckett has a surprising role in this movie as a potential suitor for Vivian's daughters, but he simply portrays such a creepy, cringe-worthy character it's almost uncomfortable to watch.

New Additions:

So as well as the two queens and the British comic relief there is also the addition of Princess Gwen to the movie who is the sister of the Prince and the one who wants to be ruler. It's kind of the same story as Jasmine's in the live-action Aladdin as wanting to be Sultan but being a woman isn't taken seriously, however here it is treated more comedically as every time there is a serious moment with the King trying to force Robert to grow up and be King, she always tries to interject with "Would this be a bad time to tell you about an actual real reason why I would be a good ruler" and they make sense but she's always dismissed until the very end.

Then there's a town crier, who is also inserted as a musical number while he's reading his proclamations but as a rap. Honestly I don't know Doc Brown as an artist but I did happen to enjoy what he contributed.

Music:

Which brings us on nicely to the music of the movie as this is a musical and I usually break down the songs. Again this time I will be doing groupings of best to worse.

Honestly my favourite number is probably "Shining Star" mostly performed by Billy Porter with verses by Camilla Cabello and, unfortunately, James Corden.

I also enjoyed the two original songs of the movie, "Million to One" which is Cabello's "I Want" song of the movie and used a lot through the movie, and then also "Dream Girl" which is Idina's main other song but also sung by basically the women of the movie, it's Idina Menzel if you don't give her an original song it's an insult.

Idina's other song is a cover of "Material Girl" and honestly it is a lot of fun, Nicholas Galitzine's rendition of "Somebody to Love" was also fun and surprising as I did not think this guy could sing that well.

The group numbers were fun and well choreographed but they are also somewhat forgettable. The song at the ball of "Whatta Man/Seven Nation Army" was probably the most memorable but still just mediocre.

Recommendation:

So with all that said, would I recommend watching Sony's Cinderella? Honestly I would say it is worth at least one viewing, and I do recommend watching all the way through just to get the full experience. I do think it will do better as a streaming movie than it would have done as a theatrical release, but I cannot pinpoint a market for this movie.

I don't think this will go down as one of the great adaptations, but there are moments and aspects of the movie that sets it apart from the crowd.

Overall I rate this movie a 7/10, it's not as fantastic as I feel the trailers were making it out to be, but having seen the movie twice there are definitely elements of the movie I looked forward to watching the second time around.

So that's my review of Sony's Cinderella, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

[twistedapple]

Channeling my inner James Acaster for the Master Chef event lol

Also you gotta love Malleus and Vil teaming up as the local snob ones lmao (above: gold ingredients only meat pie)

Speaking of Malleus, he's 100% pushing Riddle's buttons to try and get an interesting reaction from him haha Classic fairy test bullshit, good on Riddle to not fall for the provocation.

[possessedbyforcesunknown]

My favourite WILTY moments

Bob Mortimer is literally my favourite guest and I must have watched all his bits at least three times but imo the best are: “we do beg your pardon, we are in your garden”, setting his house on fire with fireworks, Fuji 9, and the very sick owl

Proof Bob Mortimer is great at naming things: Mavis, Monson, Harry Harrymam, Billy the Pigeon, Gary Cheeseman etc.

David’s reaction (and visible distress) when Bob’s story turns out to be true- OF COURSE IT’S TRUE, IT WAS TRUE ABOUT-

Lee Mack breaking David Mitchell’s pen and David looking genuinely upset (and I love the callback in a later season)

PBU- only Lee can be that quick

Also BERMUDA

Kevin Bridges accidentally buying a horse in Bulgaria

David’s dressing gown(s)!

“Let’s say one team was wearing white. *pause* And the other team… wasn’t.”

The bits where Lee makes fun of David for being posh

I also love it when Lee says something like “my client would like to change his plea” or “give me a moment to advise my client.” Barristers! AU anyone?

That time Mel was on and she had to talk about snogging one of the panel members

Greg Davies (in a heavy German accent): vEGEtabLEs

IN THE BABOON AREA

Victoria Coren-Mitchell coming on and showing how adorable her relationship with David is ( "I don’t think anything. I’ve read the weather forecast and what it says is this.”) 

James Acaster’s story about not getting the gift he wanted for Christmas (still makes me crack up)

How can I forget the cabbage prank? James’ nemesis? Best thing to watch when I need a laugh.

Henning “I was once on an Interpol Missing Persons List” “I carried around an empty box for weeks” “I forgot my passport and was nearly mistaken as a spy by Czechoslovakian border police” Wehn- love his German sense of humor

[glorious-blackout]

Here are some questions to which I don't know your answers ;) 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 15, 17,23, 24, 32, 35? Sorry if that's too many but our conversations have proven too inspiring (as i'm sure you've noticed ;))

Haha, thank you! Serves me right for bombarding you as well 😂🥰

1. borrow Alex’s “Cornerstone” sweater or Matt’s red cowboy shirt?

The Cornerstone jumper of course. It looks so comfy! Shame he never wore it again for future videos. Would really have enhanced the AM efforts...

3. ruffle Humbug Alex’s or EYCTE Alex’s floofy hair?

Good question. Both have lovely floofy hair, though Humbug Alex certainly has the advantage of a) still counting as Baby Alex in my eyes, and b) having my favourite Alex hairstyle (which I’m sure has *nothing* to do with the fact that it makes him appear slightly androgynous 😉😂).

5. try and teach Matt how to bake a cake or eat his favourite burgers with him?

Bake a cake. It would end in disaster à la James Acaster’s efforts on Celebrity Bake-off, but at least it’d be a comedy of errors and there’d be cake at the end! I’m also not a massive fan of burgers so that makes things easier...

6. argue over the matter of awards and ketchup in fridges or his hatred of Twinings with Jamie?

The latter. Mostly because I’m more in agreement that Twinings is unbearably bland, whereas chilled ketchup can be nice on occasion.

8. hear them cover a French or a Spanish song?

French. We need a sequel to Les Cactus 😉 Not sure which song mind you, but I’m sure we’d be able to find a suitable candidate.

15. read every single one of Alex’s notebooks or see all the photos Matt has taken on tour?

Read the notebooks. The writer in me is far too curious to see what Alex’s first drafts look like. 

17. teach them to say a funny sentence in a language other than English or make them try some weird local speciality in the hope of seeing reactions akin to Alex’s “Bleeeurgh!” when he drank tequila with lime?

I’m not sure I’d be the best teacher when it comes to languages other than English, unless Scots counts? Might have to go for the latter and subject the boys to some Haggis, Neeps and Tatties 😅

23. do the Macarena or the “Les Cactus” dance with Alex?

Les Cactus, obviously 😉 I imagine my complete inability to dance wouldn’t be an issue considering Alex would also be at the peak of his drunk-uncle shenanigans.

24. play boardgames or watch “Breaking Bad” with the boys?

I’ve been rewatching clips from Breaking Bad recently to the point where I’m now desperate to binge the entire series again, so I’ll have to go for the latter! 

32. follow Baby Monkeys around Mayfair and help them pick out their country boy outfits or style them for the “Fluorescent Adolescent” video?

Definitely the country boy outfits! That Mayfair story is so adorable 😭

35. read them Youtube comments from Milex videos or confront them with some of the least heterosexual photographic evidence and ask for comments?

I imagine you’d get more funny stories as a result of confronting them with incriminating photos and demanding answers. They might not necessarily be *true* stories, but they’d be hilarious nonetheless 😂

[dartmoorsfinest]

‘Back on Home Turf’ (Devon Life, November 2019)

Here’s a new interview from Josh for Devon Life Magazine (November 2019 issue) where he talks about his upcoming tour shows in Plymouth and Exeter and of course, growing up in Devon.  If you’d like to read the screenshots, you can view them here and be sure to zoom in! Or you can do the old fashioned thing and read it below (yours truly has been silly enough to type it up!)

One of Devon’s own hillarious award-winning comedians Josh Widdicombe is back with his much-anticipated stand up tour “Bit Much?” and he guarantees local audiences will enjoy a bespoke show. “What is different to my last tour is I now have a baby. But the whole ashow is me trying not to talk about having a baby as no one wants to hear about that. It is mainly me trying to avoid that subject, which has dominated my life,” Josh says. “Actually, I will be honest there is ten minutes about the baby as I needed to fill that part of the show,” he laughs.

The comedian and TV host adds how much the Devon audience are in for an exclusive treat: “There will be a lot more Devon-based material in these shows than anywhere else in the country.”

Perfoming at Plymouth Pavillions and Northcott Theatre in Exeter, Josh explains these are the dates he islooking forward to most. “I didn’t book this tour, but when I heard about some of the venues, I was like bloody hell! It is by far the biggest tour I have done and I really can’t wait. However, the two Devon venues are the ones that jump out most to me. Performing as big venues like this you realise, oh this career has gone quite well for me so far, how am I playing those?!”

As the star doesn’t get to visit his home county that often anymore, the tour is the perfect opportunity to visit old favourite haunts and reminisce about his favourite football team Plymouth Argyle FC. “Every time I go we lose! I went to the Newport game and that was the only game they lost in the league this season. I should stop going but I don’t get to go that much - maybe two or three times a season.”

The Devon comedian and television presenter is best known as co-host of the triple BAFTA nominated and multiple Broadcast and RTS award-winning show The Last Leg on Channel 4. With 16 critically acclaimed series under their belts Josh, alongside co-hosts Adam Hills and Alex Brooker have been praised for their reaction and topical coverage of the weeks most harrowing of news stories. “I just want to keep doing things that interest me and what I enjoy. If I can earn a living  from that, I think that is all you can ask for really.” 

He has also made a number of appearances including three series of his critically-acclaimed BBC sitcom JOSH which he created and starred in, team captain on BBC Two’s Insert Name Here as well as regular appearances on BBC Two’s QI, BBC One’s Have I Got News For You, Sky One’s A League of Their Own and on Dave’s Taskmaster. “Winning ‘Task of Champions’ against 25 comedians on Taskmaster was an amazing moment for me as I love that show,” he adds. 

He hosts his own hugely successful ‘90s football podcast Quickly Kevin, Will He Score? alongside Chris Scull and Michael Marden. In early 2019 Josh returned to Dave to host the brand-new series Hypothetical alongside James Acaster, which has recently been commissioned for a second series. “In fact, I don’t get to do anything that isn’t work or parenting. I would consider moving back to Devon, but I do most of my work in London so the commute would be hellish. But once my career crashes I might as well, yes.”

Josh was born in Hammersmith but lived in Haytor Vale growing up. “I grew up in such an idyllic place in Dartmoor; it was lovely. Problem is when growing up there you don’t realise how idyllic the area actually is until you move to Manchester or London. I have so many wonderful memories of the moors and it was amazing during the summer. In the winter, you could get a week off because of the show, it was insane! A bus couldn’t get through, it was like a Postman Pat scene or something. You don’t realise this is weird at that time, only when...” (DF NOTE: looks like part of the interview is missing!! But it does finish with his recommendations below!) ---

Josh’s Devon Recommendations:

Haytor Rocks was near the village where I grew up, it is absolutely stunning.

Dartmoor of course because it is beautiful and the tours are fantastic. If you want to see football in Devon, Home Park - home of Plymouth Argyle FC - is the place. There are no other options but I would implicitly back that one!

House of Marbles in Newton Abbot - it is a great tourist attaction. It was a little shop when I was growing up but now it is like a big brand. Now, you can go to shops in London and have things made by the House of Marbles.

[theriddlerisanerd]

15 and 30!

15: five most influential books over your lifetime.

I loved these books but they also helped me with my writing. The first three basically set up my writing style while the second two is styles I aspire to have

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

The Schwa Was Here by Neal Shusterman

Animal Farm by George Orwell

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

30: pick one of your favorite quotes.

I’m choosing two - just because

Not to seem obsessed with Douglas Adams but I’m mentioning him again

“I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:

1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.

2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.

3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.”

- Douglas Adams

Oh and

"I started making it, had a breakdown… bon appétit!" - James Acaster

[rileyyy2468]

“Yes, Sir.” Part Two

Written on AO3 by myself (Rileyyy2468)

Pairing: James Acaster/Greg Davies

Tags:  Begging, teasing, fluff, insecurities, comfort

Summary:  James and Greg talk things through.

Chapter Two:

“I’ve made my decision.”  

It was the day before the studio show. James had spent the last few days thinking about what Greg had said, in fact it was all he was thinking about. Every second of every day, no matter where he was, who he was with, all he could think about was Greg. He had made his decision, it was crystal clear to him in his mind what it was that he wanted. “I want you.” James says through the phone as he sits, perched on the very edge of his sofa, he was 100% sure of himself, but still as nervous as ever, the somewhat-confident that he tried to hold onto within his tone descending slightly by the time he got to the last word of the statement, almost timorous as he awaits for Greg’s reaction.

It was a few seconds before Greg started to speak, but to James those seconds felt like an eternity. He was on edge and the sound of Greg’s deep voice emitting through his phone startled him slightly. “Are you 100% sure, James. I want you too, but I don't want you regretting things before they’ve even started.” Greg asks, and James scoffs, “Greg, this is all I've been thinking about for the past week, y-you make me feel things that no one has ever made me feel, and i feel so stupid actually saying this, but,” James pauses, his heart quickening as he realises how silly this all sounds, he feels like a teenager again. “But?” Greg prompts, but James could tell that the older was grinning as he vocalised the question. “B-but, i-i can't explain it, but all I know is that I don't want to just stop here. Please, Greg.” James had no idea what it was he was actually asking for, but Greg seemed to get the idea. “Alright. How about I pick you up at lunchtime, and we can figure out more about where we go from here. I’d rather not do it over the phone, I'd like to see you. You’re not doing anything today, right?” Greg asks and James smiles, relatively relieved that Greg wants to see him. “No, I'm not doing anything.” James rushed out, and he hears Greg chuckle through the phone. “Okay. it’s sorted then. I’ll be there in an hour, make sure you’re ready.” Greg states. “Okay, thank you, bye Greg.” James grins, “See you soon, Acaster.” Greg says, amused before he hangs up, leaving James to get ready.

James looks at the top of his phone screen. It was 11:33am, he had an hour before Greg was going to be here, so he decides he’s have a quick shower, afterwards getting changed into a pair of dark green cords, a maroon-coloured shirt along with one his mustard-yellow sweaters overtop of it, slipping on a simple pair of shoes overtop his maroon-coloured socks and by the time he’s finished getting ready it was nearly half past 12.

Greg arrives, shooting James a text message that he was outside, James grabs his phone and pockets it before he exits his flat, grabbing his keys, pocketing those also, then meeting Greg at the front door of the building. James opens the door, exiting the building, spotting Greg leant up against his car, smiling at James as he walks towards the taller man. After they greet each other, they enter the car, Greg opening James’ door on the passenger side, James thanking him for the politeness and then they were soon on their way.

"I'm going to take you back to my place, if that's alright. Have you eaten today?" Greg asks, turning to look at James who was sitting in the passenger seat, leg bouncing and his hands were slotted in between his thighs to stop himself from biting at his nails. He was nervous. This was actually happening. This was real. James had no idea what Greg was planning on talking to James about, but he trusted that Greg knew what he was doing. James soon realises that Greg had asked him something and he turns to look at Greg. "oh, uh, no not yet." James answers, turning to look back at his lap. "Alright. I got in a few things that I know you like. Ed mentioned a few things that you liked in a few of our previous conversations." James looks up at Greg in slight disbelief. "Ed talks to you about me?" James asks, voice small, almost afraid at what Ed may have told Greg. Greg looks back at James briefly, catching the shocked look that was adorning James' features and he chuckles. "Don't worry, only good things, of course." Greg reassures, looking back at the road once he sees James' face soften slightly, relieved by Greg's words. "You really didn't have to, I would have been perfectly fine with anything." James murmurs, his fingers tapping softly against his thighs as he looks back down at his lap. Why was he acting like this? He's thirty-three for god's sake, what thirty-three-year-old acts like this?

"Hey, stop thinking, I can feel your anxiety from here. You don't need to worry, James. Whatever you're feeling right now is perfectly fine, I'm not judging you, alright?" James takes a deep breath, listening to Greg's words and just trying to relax a bit. He turns to Greg and smiles slightly at him, wordlessly thanking the older, Greg returning the gesture before redirecting his attention back onto the road, and they continue their journey in comfortable silence.

“We’re here.” Greg announces, parking in the driveway of a reasonably sized house. “Alright. Shall we go inside?” Greg proposes, turning to look at James, not wanting to force anything on James as it seems the younger man gets quite overwhelmed relatively easily from his observations. “Yeah.” James says clearly, matched with one of those adorable smiles of his. “Alright then, let's go.” Greg says, both now moving to get out of the car, closing the doors behind them. Greg locks the car, and they walk up to the front porch where Greg unlocks the front door while James stands awkwardly aside, fingers fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater.

Once the door was open Greg steps aside, motioning for James to enter first, James thanks Greg quickly for the amenity, walking through the front door and into a hallway that leads into an open living room area to his left. James takes his shoes off—not even having to be told to—placing them neatly beside the door, where Greg does the same once inside. Greg tells James to go sit down in the living room while he grabs a few things for James to eat from the kitchen, James wordlessly follows the instruction, moving to take a seat on one of the sofas, sitting with his legs together, his palms down on his thighs, posing absentmindedly boyishly.

Greg returns with a tray adorning an assortment of different foods along with a simple glass of water, James immediately thanking Greg for going through all this effort for him. Greg sits across from James on an armchair after setting down the tray and the glass of water in front of James on the coffee table. James doesn't yet touch the food, feeling a certain obligation to ask whether he could eat rather than just eating. He knew the food was for him and Greg made that clear as he brought the food through, but he didn't want to be impolite and just start eating. “Uh,i-is it okay if i-” James finds it hard to get the words across, instead gesturing to the food laid out before him. “Of course you can, James. You have my permission.” James wasn't too sure if that last phrase was meant as a joke or not but the words did things to him. “T-thank you.” James blurts out, trying to ignore the effects that the words had on him, instead, apprehensively moving to pick up a delicious looking pastry. As he takes a bite his eyes flutter closed and the noise he makes was bordering on pornographic as he lets the savoury but sweet flavours of the pastry dance across his tongue. “Mmm, that’s really good.” James exasperates, opening his eyes for a moment, catching Greg’s penetrative gaze. “I’m glad you like it.” Greg admits, voice slightly deeper than usual, James shies away, finishing the pastry with minimal sounds, taking a drink of water once he’d finished. “After you’ve finished eating and you’ve drunk your water, we can go through the details of what’s going to happen from here. Is that okay?” Greg confirms, James nods. “That's fine.” James says, voice still lowered slightly, the younger obviously still a bit nervous.

James soon finishes the food and the water, thanking Greg once again, and Greg takes the tray back out into the kitchen, sitting back down on his chair when he comes back, James perching himself on the edge of the sofa, awaiting for Greg to start speaking. “Okay. So, we’ve already established that we want each other, but I would like to know what it is that you want, James. I need to make you as comfortable as possible, and I can't do that if I don't know how you feel exactly.” Greg explains, James flushes. “I-um. For some reason I feel all nervous around you, l-like i’m a teenager again. I was already somewhat attracted to you before the studio shows, but not to this extent,” James stops, embarrassed. Greg smirks as he takes in how James shifts in his seat, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “Could you elaborate on that, please, James?” Greg provokes, leaning forwards in his chair, never taking his eye off of James as the younger continues to shift under the gaze. “Greg, please, don't make me say it...” James whines, dragging out Greg’s name. “James. How am I supposed to know, if you don't tell me?” Greg practically warns, taunting James in such a way that James was getting slightly turned on at the tone.

“I-when you tell me off, and tell me to do things, i-it does things to me. And I can't explain it, it just, well, happens. It's almost like I want you to tell me off, but I also want to impress you, and be good for you. And when you act like the Taskmaster, you’re all intimidating, but, as much as it scares me, I really like it.” James explains in a long-winded string of words. “I want you to tell me how it made you feel when I told you off in front of everyone last week. And be completely honest with me.” Greg requisitions, tone still and calm. James was all dishevelled, sat across from him, while Greg was as calm as a cucumber. (which is the opposite of a duck, by the way.)

“I, at first I was a little afraid, but i-when you dragged me to the front of the stage and held me like you did and started telling me off in front of the audience and everyone else, it-please, Greg. i-i can’t say it.” James tries, looking up at Greg with pleading eyes. “James.” There it was again. That tone. The tone that made James go absolutely crazy. James whines, but continues nevertheless. “It turned me on. I don't understand why. It-it humiliated me, but I liked it.” James admits almost shamefully, looking down at his lap. “James, look at me.” Greg directs, James immediately doing as told, looking up at Greg while his fingertips press into his thighs. “You did really well, telling me all that. There's no need to be ashamed of anything you told me, in fact, it helps me have a better idea on how that pretty little brain of yours works.” Greg discloses. James nods, maintaining eye contact as he takes in the words.

“James. How would you like it if we did those kinds of things often. But in private, just you and I?” Greg asks, James lifts his eyebrows in an inquiring manner. “In what way?” James says, failing to hide the hopefulness that laced his words. “The way in where you are mine. The way where you surrender your control, and all you have to do, is what I tell you to do.” Greg states, and James quite literally whimpers at the thought of being his. “But, there are rules, we have to be logical here, we can't just jump into it without going over some things first, is that alright?” Greg confirms and James nods, sitting up a little straighter as he trains in full attention on Greg. “Alright then. First things first, I need to know where you stand on doing anything sexual, is there anything that you really do not like or don't want to try, and is there anything that you wouldn't mind trying?” Greg asks, and James thinks for a moment, it's quite embarrassing for him to think about as he’s never really been asked this kind of thing before, but he understands that this is important. “I-i wouldn’t mind things like slapping, or man-handling, m-maybe choking,” James flushes, averting his eyes downwards, finding it hard to look Greg in the eyes as he’s saying this stuff. “Um, i, i like praise, b-but i also like to be told off so…” James explains. “Degrading.” Greg says, and James nods, biting at his lip. He takes a deep breath and continues. “I wouldn’t mind trying things like being tied up or blindfolded, a-and, I wouldn't mind edging.” James shifts, his breaths a little shaky as he thinks about actually doing these things, but then he remembered that Greg said to say what he doesn't like also. “I um, there are people who like to do things with knives and fire, but i don't like that, i like to be a bit afraid, but that’s too far for me.” James explains. “Oh don't worry, I'm not into any of that kind of stuff anyways, everything else you've said is perfectly fine also. How would you feel about roleplay? Like a teacher/student roleplay for instance.” Greg asks, and James thinks about it. James has definitely thought about Greg as being his teacher before, dreamed about it a few times also. “Yeah, that's okay, i-i’d like that.” James trails off a bit, shifting in his seat again as he looks back down at his lap.

"Good, now, in that case, I'd like for you to call me ‘Sir’ whenever you and I are in private, is that clear?” Greg tests the waters a little bit with the command, James snaps his head up, face and neck crimsoned. “Y-yes.” James stuttered and Greg raised his eyebrows at him, expectant, James quickly realising. “Yes, Sir.” James splutters, whimpering a little bit after the words were uttered. This was very much out of James comfort zone, but he was loving it, and by the look on Greg’s face, he wasn't the only one that was enjoying it. “We just need to go over a couple more things. First thing, if you do something that i deem to be intentionally provoking or i think you've been particularly bad, there will be a punishment for it, now, these punishments can range from different things depending on how bad you may be, but i will always tell you that the punishment is going to be when it happens, okay?” Greg construed and James nodded. “Now, the most important thing. Safewords. If there is any point where you feel uncomfortable or you want to stop, it doesn't matter when, you can use your safeword and that lets me know that you want to stop. Now do not feel ashamed by using your safeword, it is very important that you use it if you really need to, is that clear?” Greg instructs. “Yes, I understand.” James says, eyes now locked onto Greg's, understanding that this part is crucial to this whole thing. James knew about safewords already, but had never actually thought about his own, he figured he’d just go with the traffic light system as it's simple and easy to remember. “Did you have anything in mind?” Greg asks, James nods. “Um, can we use the traffic light system?” James inquired. “Of course. So, you’d like to use Red as your safeword, is that correct?” Greg asks to confirm, wanting to make sure that James was sure of himself. “Yes, Sir.” James says, and Greg smiles, he was learning quickly. “Good boy.” Greg praises and James shivers, breath slightly hitched, and Greg chuckles, absolutely loving the reactions that James was giving. But he wanted James to wait, he wanted to see how long James could go for before he snaps.

“Now, here's what’s going to happen. I am going to take you home, and you are going to wait until tomorrow after the studio show before you can get what you want. Do you understand?” Greg was very aware of James' current state, but he wanted James to know that all of this was very much out of his control, and sometimes he’s going to have to wait to be given what he wants. James whines, pouting. He was so evidently turned on, and he was heavily uncomfortable in his corduroy trousers, “Okay, fine.” James resorts, frowning at Greg of whom raises his eyebrows at the younger, a warning sign. “I-i mean, yes, Sir, I understand.” James mutters, but Greg figures he’d let it slide just this once as James was only just getting used to all of this.

“Good. Let’s get you back home, then.”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So much from the Nish Kumar show last night. It was amazing. I didn’t write about it right after (aside from this post that I made before getting in the car because holy fucking hell) as it was a bit more than a two-hour drive home. I got home at 3 AM, passed out, woke up this morning and now I still feel so overwhelmed by how cool it was. Here’s the best I can do with writing about it.

There were about ten weeks between when I first saw this show, in New York City, and when I saw it last night in Montreal. I’d expected the main difference to be that he’d have to rewrite the Boris-based parts of the show he did in New York, since, you know, that situation has changed in the last ten weeks. But he actually cut that bit entirely, barely mentioned Boris or UK politics at all. I can understand why. I saw him do a livestreamed thing a couple of weeks ago, and that showed me the jokes he’s written to reflect the current mess of a political climate. They involved saying he hates Rishi Sunak for being the highly successful Asian man that his own parents wanted him to be, and saying we can’t let Rishi Sunak be prime minister because he killed everyone’s grandma via mismanagement of the pandemic. My guess is that while he expected the North Americans at his New York show to know who Boris Johnson was, he was less sure that North Americans would know about Rishi Sunak, so decided to just skip all that rather taking his “Rishi Sunak killed everyone’s grandma” material to people who might have no idea what the hell he’s talking about.

So the specific political material got cut, as did a few other things; I think he was more pressed for time at the Montreal show. There were enough jokes that were in the New York show and not in the Montreal show for me to now be sure it was worth going to New York for it, even though I could see him much closer to home ten weeks later. That 17-hour round trip to a city that I did not like was worth it just for the few jokes he put in the New York show and cut from Montreal.

He also added some stuff in Montreal that wasn’t there in New York. There were some Canada-specific jokes. Said Boris Johnson was on the verge of joining our trucker protest, which got a cheer because fuck those people. Asked how the hell that trucker thing happened and if Canada “caught” stupidity from America, which… yes. I mean that was funny but it also barely worked as a joke because it’s pretty much a literal description of what happened. Yes, Nish, we had a lot of people who were influenced by American media and specific American figures who targeted them with an onslaught of messaging and American money that funded their efforts, and that is how this happened. I could draw you a diagram if you like. People who got arrested at the trucker protests were shouting about Miranda rights and the first amendment. They think everything American applies to us. This is why it’s important to properly fund and support Canadian media like the CBC to educate Canadians on our culture instead of having everything washed away in a sea of Americanism. But I digress.

Another bit that was not in the New York show was a few minutes spent talking shit about Ed Gamble and James Acaster, which was hilarious. Earlier in the day, those two had recorded a live episode of Off Menu at that same festival (I did consider getting tickets to that, but they were quite expensive and I’ve only ever heard about three episodes of Off Menu so I figured it wouldn’t be worth it). Nish correctly surmised (I say it was correct, based on the strong audience reaction to him bringing it up) that most people in his audience had been to see the Off Menu recording earlier in the day. He complained that as a brown guy he’s out here telling us how he got PTSD from racist death threats, while his very white friends were discussing what food they like. Called them “a couple of crackers talking about crackers”, which was quite funny. Informed us that they pronounce “papadum” wrong; he was it was supposed to sound more like this, and I guess James does something of a white bastardization of it. Then he added that if anyone chooses bread over papadums they’re racist.

Now, I hope this will go without saying, but because someone reading this post doesn’t see or hear the tone that was present in the room, I’d like to clarify that it was very obvious all along that he was 100% joking. At no point did anyone think he really does resent them for that; sometimes James talks about mental breakdowns and sometimes Nish talks about watching sex scenes in movies with his dad, so just because right now James is talking about food and Nish is talking about racism doesn’t mean that defines their whole lives. The difference in levels of heaviness of their material at that specific comedy festival was just a funny juxtaposition to point out at that moment. I mean, James and Ed probably do say “papadum” wrong. But I’m sure Nish forgives them.

In case anyone in the audience did not fully understand this, Nish ended this by saying, “Of course, those two are my friends, I don’t mean it, I love those guys. I did mean the stuff about Ricky Gervais and Jimmy Carr, though.” And that brings me to a particularly interesting thing that was in this show but not the New York one. To explain, I’m going to quote something I wrote about nine weeks ago, talking about the show I saw Nish do in New York. The initial post was about the bit in Nish Kumar’s 2019 show, when he did a whole rant about how Ricky Gervais is an asshole for doing transphobia and calling it comedy. Here is something I added on to that post after seeing Nish in New York this year:

“I just saw him do his newest live show last week, and he again dedicated a couple of minutes to complaining about comedians who run out of new funny things to say so they just go on Netflix to talk shit about minorities instead. Those minutes ended with the words “Fuck you Dave Chappelle, fuck you Ricky Gervais!” (For a split second I thought Jimmy Carr’s name was going to come out of his mouth next, it’s probably for the best that it didn’t.)”

That’s what I said nine weeks ago, and that’s how I felt at the time. I sat in that theatre in New York, heard Nish say he does comedy way better than those “edgy” people who think shitting on minorities counts as comedy, saw him get really riled up and on a roll and flow right into angrily shouting, “Fuck you Dave Chapelle, fuck you Ricky Gervais!” and for a moment my brain was sure he was going to add “fuck you Jimmy Carr”. This was a little while ago, closer to when Jimmy Carr’s joke about Romani Holocaust victims was in the media (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can Google it, or better yet, don’t – if you’ve ever seen the whole “asshole makes a racist joke, tabloids make clickbait articles about it, asshole complains about cancel culture” storm play out, then it’s exactly what you’re picturing), so his name came into my mind when Nish described that type of comedian. I thought he might say it, but he didn’t, and on reflection, I did think “for the best” was a good way to describe the omission. No need to feed the media storm further with “Nish Kumar VISCIOUSLY SLAMS Jimmy Carr in Latest Special” tabloid headlines or whatever.

I don’t know what changed in those ten weeks. Jimmy Carr has not said any new and notably offensive stuff since then. But at some point in ten weeks, Nish Kumar decided to amend that joke. Last night, his bit about how he hates “edgy” comedians who shit on minorities on stage ended with “Fuck you Dave Chapelle, fuck you Ricky Gervais, fuck you Jimmy Carr!” He then said something about Gervis and Carr specifically, since they’re both British. He called them something like “a giggling ghost and his ventriloquist dummy friend” who are making British comedians look bad by doing this kind of shit. And he brought it up again later in the show, saying he was just kidding about his friends James and Ed, but he did mean the shit he said about Ricky Gervais and Jimmy Carr.

I would say that’s kind of a big deal. I’ve given Nish Kumar credit before for going after Ricky Gervais, since that 2019 show also has an explanation of how much he loved The Office, how he had all the episodes basically memorized, how he looked up to its creator. It’s a rule for life generally that it’s easy to call out people from the “other side”, people you didn’t like anyway, but it’s much harder to call out people who are in some way on “your side”. So I think it’s a sign of good character when someone can recognize bad things in a person they liked, and are willing to say so instead of defending or excusing it.

Jimmy Carr is another level of that. I mean, Nish Kumar was a fan of The Office, and Ricky Gervais is a fellow British comedian, but I’m pretty sure Gervais has been in America for as long as Nish has had a showbusiness career. So on a practical level, Gervais may as well be an American comedian just like Chappelle; they’re not exactly in Nish Kumar’s orbit.

Nish Kumar is much more likely to cross paths, professionally and personally, with Jimmy Carr than with Dave Chapelle or Ricky Gervais. They’re both on the British stand-up (not at comedy clubs or whatever, but they both tour the UK with stand-up shows) circuit and the British panel show circuit. Nish has done 8 Out of 10 Cats and Catsdown. Nish was hanging out with Jimmy in Katherine Ryan’s living room as of whenever they filmed the end of that Backstage show, which was not that long ago. Jimmy Carr was at this same festival in Montreal, performing his own show. That’s definitely a new level of calling out one of his own.

Obviously, the caveat I add every time I give someone credit for something like this is that there are a lot of harder jobs in the world than being a comedian, and there are a lot of braver things to do than talk shit about someone you know on stage. I’m also not pretending it helps anything on a practical level; I’m quite sure Nish Kumar would acknowledge that him saying “Fuck you Jimmy Carr” on stage does not make life better for Romani people that have their genocide trivialized. But still, it took guts to say that. I bet a bunch of people felt that way, but didn’t say so publicly because Jimmy Carr is all over the Britcom world and they didn’t want to cause problems. I’m thinking of that Last Leg episode when Hannah Gadsby was a guest and said Jimmy Carr is terrible to minorities, and Adam Hills and Alex Brooker and Josh Widdicombe all looked very uncomfortable and like they desperately wanted her to stop talking even though I’m sure they knew she was right. It’s fucking awkward to call someone an asshole if you know you work and socialize in the same area. So honestly, credit to Nish Kumar here. That took some guts to say.

Okay, bullet points for some other, quicker, fun observations about the show:

- For anyone who doesn’t know, the main show is about the time that someone threw a bread roll at him because they were mad that he was making jokes about Brexit and colonialism. Then he learned that this incident had somehow made the news, then it really blew up from there, racist death threats occurred, PTSD due to those death threats occurred, stigma about mental health issues stopped him from getting help, but then he finally sought therapy and is now doing better and wrote a show about it. It is a genuinely insightful and hard-hitting show in addition to being amazingly funny and bright and honest, and it’s one of the best pieces of comedy I’ve ever seen.

- I’d remembered the story of how after the show, his friends who were there with him, including Tim Key and Miles Jupp, took him to the pub and they got drunk. I’d forgotten how he said Tim Key made the hilarious joke of apologizing for having thrown the bread roll, pretending the whole incident was a result of Tim Key thinking it would be funny to mess with him by throwing bread. That is such an on-brand joke for Tim Key to make and was a very funny line.

- Nish Kumar telling us his job is 1) to make jokes about the news, and 2) to be a spare in case anyone loses Jason Mantzoukas – also very funny.

- In New York, he said he knows his audience consists of people who read The Guardian and people who’ve recently canceled their subscription to The Guardian because it’s insufficiently left wing. In Montreal, he did the same joke but with The New York Times instead. I can’t tell if he thinks Canadians are less likely than Americans to know about The Guardian (which doesn’t seem likely, as Americans are more stereotyped than we are as being unaware of the outside world), if he thought the joke didn’t go well enough in America and it would be better if he started changing it when he went overseas (also seems a bit weird since the joke got a big laugh when I heard it in New York). It’s okay, Nish, you can talk about The Guardian in North America. We know about The Guardian. It’s a very famous media outlet.

- I have to give Nish credit again for how passionate he was about this, how high his energy was the entire time, how much he clearly cared about the words he wrote and wanted to share them with us. A few days ago, I saw James Acaster force himself to get through a show, then look at his watch and clearly be relieved to realize he’d already done an hour and that meant he was allowed to leave the stage. He left immediately, the crowd pretty much forced him to come back for an encore, he was not happy about it and did a few more minutes before leaving.

Last night, Nish Kumar shouted at us with vigour for an hour and twenty minutes before looking at the clock, and saying oh shit, this was not supposed to go for this long. Then he continued talking for another ten minutes or so, talking faster and faster like he was worried about not having enough time to say everything he wanted to say. For the entire time he was up there, he spoke at a million words a minute, barely took a breath. You could see how much he cared about this, how much he loved what he’d written and the opportunity to say it. He was exactly the same way in New York. I loved that, it made the show so enjoyable.

I don’t mean to denigrate James Acaster there – I made that comparison to show a contrast and make the point that not every show is like Nish Kumar’s. Obviously, the contrast I’ve just described does not automatically make Nish’s show objectively better than James’. A longer show is definitely not always a better show; in fact there’s a lot to be said for tightly written efficient material (“tightly written efficient material” doesn’t really describe the shows that James Acaster or Nish Kumar brought to this festival, but the principle is still true). But in this case, the length of the show reflected Nish’s passion for the material, the way he was so dedicated to it that he didn’t want to stop talking, and that energy really enhanced the experience.

- Okay, here’s the story of what I wrote last night. I dragged my best friend to Montreal for this show. My friend is not generally into comedy, and he specifically describes himself as not liking British comedy, even though that opinion is pretty much based on how he thought Monty Python’s Holy Grail was silly and has not seen other Britcom besides a few things I’ve made him sit through at times. I convinced him to go with me, for the road trip and the day in Montreal. He did end up enjoying the Nish Kumar… mostly. I think.

Anyway, as I said, the venue was amazingly small and we were sitting in the front row. At one point, Nish talked about how everyone in the public eye gets hate, but they’ll get more if they’re more degrees away from the “default”. He then defined the “default” as white, straight, cisgender, heterosexual, able-bodied men. He said something like “And if any of those are here tonight…” Without thinking, I tapped my best friend’s shoulder, because I had in fact brought a white, straight, cisgender, heterosexual, able-bodied man to a Nish Kumar show. To be honest, he was out of place. He was a jock among nerds. As a nerd at heart who spends most of my life among jocks (due to the sports team that this friend and I have been coaching together for many years, where he is a lovely person who cares deeply for our athletes and his friends, but if you see him on the street he does look a lot like a jock), I figured he could live with that for a night.

Nish saw me tap my friend’s shoulder, and he stopped talking. He lowered his hand that had the microphone, put his other hand on his forehead and laughed. And good people of www.tumblr.com, I do not know enough words to describe what it is like to make Nish Kumar laugh. It’s like making an angel fly. That excitable laugh that comes out generously and too loudly on panel shows and podcasts when anyone on stage says something that gets to him – that got direct at me, and if I die tomorrow I want that on my tombstone. If I die in 100 years I want that on my tombstone. I’m like 30% joking.

Nish asked me if I knew the guy next to me, and I said yes. Nish said oh good, he was worried I might have just tapped a random guy next to me who appeared to fit the description of straight white cisgender able-bodied man. Eye contact occurred. Actually, eye contact occurred a bunch of times throughout the show, sometimes to an extent that was quite awkward, because like I said the venue was really weirdly small.

And at first, I did not want that to happen! At one point he asked the crowd if we knew what that 1965 audience called Bob Dylan when he plugged in his guitar, and I was sitting there thinking “Judas!” Of course I know they called him Judas, that is a famous moment in the history of the intersection of folk and rock music, a famous moment that gets pointed to when fans of folk and to a lesser extent country music argue about what’s a reasonable level of saying “this is a terrible populist bastardization of the genre” versus what is being too gatekeep-y like the 1965 people who got mad at Bob Dylan, and arguments like that are where I live. But I didn’t yell it out, because I could not bring myself to yell out words that would be heard by Nish Kumar. I did not want Nish Kumar’s attention drawn to my existence, even for a moment. But later in the show, when I tapped my friend’s shoulder without thinking and drew his attention anyway, I realized how foolish I had been to resist the opportunity. It was the coolest fucking thing. Holy hell.

Nish Kumar definitely knows I exist. Crops watered skin clear ailments cured angels in flight.

[netunleashed-blog]

Your summer podcast guide: Why 2018 is the year of the 'podcast boom'

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=16424 Your summer podcast guide: Why 2018 is the year of the 'podcast boom' - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=16424 Image copyright Instagram:@mydadwrotea/ITV Image caption My Dad Wrote a Porno and Love Island are among the UK's most successful podcasts Whether driving the car, sitting on a train, out running or doing the housework, more of us than ever before are choosing podcasts to keep us company.The latest figures from Rajar suggest six million (11%) of us listen to a podcast each week.That's up from 3.8 million in 2016.While that's still a relatively low proportion of the population, it represents a 58% increase over a two-year period.But one of the key factors is the age of those listening. Recent research from podcast platform Acast suggests that podcast listeners in the UK tend to be millennials - with two-thirds falling into the 16-34 age bracket. Of this group, 27% listen once a week, and 29% listen between two to four times a week. What's more, 21% of respondents in the Acast research, conducted by Ipsos Mori, said they had started listening in the last six months. The popularity of podcasts with this elusive audience - which so many traditional broadcasters and media companies have failed to attract - may be one of the key drivers of the growing podcast market. Image copyright ITV Image caption Last year's Love Island co-winner Kem Cetinay and Arielle Free host the Love Island: The Morning After podcast "This is the year podcasts have gone mainstream," says Hannah Verdier, a freelance podcast reviewer. "A couple of years ago it was still a really niche thing. It seemed to me that no-one really listened to podcasts outside of the London media bubble."But this year feels different, and the last few weeks, in particular, they've really hit their stride. "The one that has really exploded has been the Love Island podcast - it's been on the top of the charts since it launched. It's now seen as essential to a brand to have a podcast as well as a website."'A podcast boom'Matt Deegan, who produces the podcast Love Island: The Morning After, says: "In the last six months a lot of new podcasts have emerged, so it would be fair to say it's having a bit of a boom."We're seeing lots of tweets and reaction to our podcast - many of which are from college students who say they are listening to a podcast for the first time."The successful podcast format has traditionally been the companion format - fan-made shows, for the likes of Westworld, West Wing etc. "Spin-off TV shows have always been popular - like Big Brother's Little Brother, and the same goes for podcasts. Love Island is the first UK television show to really go for it and I think they have been rewarded for it."Podcasts, as we know them, have been around for 15 years and gained some traction in the mid-2000s but seemed to take a blow from other online media content.Rowan Slaney, who writes the Guardian's Hear, Here podcast column, and is an audio content specialist at Google, says: "YouTube came along and since then everyone's been pretty video-focused. And then slowly - mainly because American speech radio is awful - podcasts have been making a comeback."The UK has typically been behind the US in the podcasting stakes because the BBC makes good content and people don't feel the need to go away and download different audio content. "But now everyone has a podcast - and the BBC has had to start taking it more seriously too."'True crime craze'One of the landmarks on the podcast landscape was, of course, the podcast Serial. The first two seasons of the true crime hit have been downloaded more than 250 million times, according to Serial Productions. Image copyright Serial Image caption Serial is about the conviction of Adnan Syed for the murder of ex-girlfriend Hae Min Lee "Serial was amazing," says Slaney. "But you can't attribute everything to that podcast. If it weren't for the ongoing dedication of real audio fans, who had the interest in podcasts all along we would never have had a series like that. Serial kicked off a real true crime craze - and it's still the most-listened-to genre."Deegan, who is also the co-founder of the British Podcast Awards, says Serial coincided with podcasts becoming much more accessible via smart phones."When it became a default app on the iPhone, perhaps four or five years ago, it meant more and more people clicking on it. And that was the same sort of time Serial came out - which was the first real podcast content hit."'Game changer'It wasn't much longer before the podcast sensation My Dad Wrote A Porno came out. Hosted by Radio 1 presenter Alice Levine and two of her university friends, James Cooper and Jamie Morton, the podcast has been on the iTunes chart for more than two years. It recently went on tour with its live shows, selling out the Royal Albert Hall. Image copyright PA Image caption The stars of the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno, l-r: James Cooper, Jamie Morton and Alice Levine "When My Dad Wrote A Porno came along, it was a game-changer," says Hannah Verdier. "And others have realised there is a real market there with young, female audiences."Slaney agrees: "Everything is traditionally made for men. Young women are let down by most speech radio - there's a real gap. "Currently the only real route into audio is through the BBC and if you don't fit into those six channels then there's nowhere for you to be heard on mainstream media. But podcasting is a really exciting format, and anyone can do it - so it opens up the door to lots more content and more creativity."Now young women are making their own content that they enjoy. And the amount of black and non-white voices we've heard in podcasting has just exploded. "They're also voices that are not well served by traditional media, so it's a means for ethnic minorities to get their voices heard."The Shout Out Network is one of a number of platforms supporting people of colour and actively encouraging women in podcasts. Wolves In The City, hosted by YouTuber Lee Gray, grime artist Karnage Kills and DJ Jay Jay Revlon, is just one of the podcasts they promote - which aims itself at gay black men exploring their sexuality in London. Image copyright Twitter/@WolvesITC Image caption The team behind Wolves in the City And celebrities have seen fit to get in on some of this action too.Deegan says: "Probably in the last six to 12 months, we've seen a higher number of mainstream personalities getting into the world of podcasts, like Fearne Cotton, Ed Miliband, Jessie Ware, along with a number of others."The success of some of these more recent podcasts has in turn informed the kind of radio that is now being commissioned."I think podcasts have opened radio's mind," says Deegan. "Radio 4 has commissioned a series of the Beef and Dairy Network, for example, a comedy which started out as a podcast."And Ed Miliband has sat in twice for Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 following the success of his Reasons to be Cheerful podcast - currently number 16 on the iTunes chart."In short," says Deegan, "podcasts have grown up." Podcasts to listen to now...Hannah Verdier's recommendations: Image copyright Getty Images Image caption Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine's Dear Joan and Jericha is currently number two in the podcast charts Dear Joan and Jericha - Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine pretend to be a pair of agony aunts and they're quite rude and filthy. It's got a really dry, observational humour. Very daring.Gossip - about three friends who meet weekly to... you guessed it... gossip and freak out over the latest developments in their fictional suburban town, Golden Acres.Dirty John - this is a good one for total podcast beginners. It's an American true crime about a woman who meets a man on the internet. She thinks he's a surgeon and then it all unravels...Sandra - this is a bit more upbeat from Gimlet, one of the best podcasting companies in the US. Ethan Hawke plays a boss and Kristen Wiig plays an Alexa/Siri type character. Turns out Sandra is powered by real people though. Dark comedy drama.Griefcast - this doesn't sound fun, but trust me, it's good. It's very simple: just people talking about their experience with grief. It's really honest but uplifting and a really nice listen.Rowan Slaney's recommendations:Capital - a drama about a referendum won by 51% of the vote to bring back capital punishment.The Discovery Adventures - a good one for the family. It's easy and fun, and you can go and visit some of the places that the episodes are based on.Harry Potter and the Sacred Text - two friends going through each chapter of Harry Potter, looking at the symbolism and language of all the books. Very well structured.The Dollop - two comedians find the most ridiculous events in US history that shaped their country. Really well researched and funny.How To Be A Girl - won the best international podcast at the British Podcast Awards. A mother and her transgender daughter talk to each other. It's about how they navigate the world while she's growing up and going through her transition.Matt Deegan's recommendations: Image copyright Twitter/@walkthedogcast Image caption The Times' Emily Dean interviewed Alan Carr in her first episode of Walking the Dog Where should we begin? - Esther Perell is a counsellor. You sit in a therapy situation with real couples.The Tip-Off - behind the scenes of investigative journalism, how did they get the story?Love Island - you should definitely listen to this if you like the show, Pod Save America - Barack Obama's old speech writing team, on the annoying things Donald Trump has done that week. Has turned from a very angry podcast, to more of a campaigning, fun podcast.Walking the Dog - from The Times. Emily Dean interviews a celebrity guest each week while they walk their dogs. Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email entertainment.news@bbc.co.uk. Source link

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, I have reached the 2020 Last Leg of the Year. I already know one thing that’s going to happen, because on New Year’s my Tumblr dashboard was full of people talking about how Lorraine Kelly had tried to suggest Piers Morgan for “Hero of the Year” (I gather that it was pretty much because he was less awful than he might have been during COVID) and James Acaster told her to go fuck herself. I read about that at the time, and thought it sounded like a great moment and it was too bad that I wasn’t going to watch it because it was episode 227 of a show I hadn’t seen and it wasn’t like I was going to watch 226 episodes to get to it.

Well. I guess I underestimated the limits of how deep I could dive into this British comedy rabbit hole during a year and a half with nothing else to do. Because I am now a couple of days from being two weeks past my second vaccine dose, but transmission is still happening and we have a little while yet before life comes back. So in the meantime, why not watch 227 episodes of three guys with four legs talk about the news and sometimes disability sport?

I did also come across an article that said Piers Morgan called James Acaster a “pasty-faced weasel”, presumably in response to what he said on the 2020 Last Leg of the Year, so I’m really looking forward to seeing how much vitriol James manages to get into the words “go fuck yourself” to prompt that reaction.

I go back and forth about James Acaster a bit, because I do enjoy him very much, he’s one of my favourite comedians, but I don’t always consider him to be as flawless as some corners of the internet think he is. But I’ll give him a lot of credit for one thing: he doesn’t pull punches. The other day, I wrote about how I was disappointed in the way The Last Leg brought up Graham Linehan’s transphobia, but sort of walked around the issue and presented it in a “both sides” kind of way, and it seemed to mean they weren’t willing to go after assholes in their own industry the way they go after politicians and other shitty people who don’t work in comedy. Anyone who has seen James Acaster talk about Ricky Gervais on Cold Lasagne will know you certainly can’t accuse him of being soft on transphobia among comedy people.

He can be a wonderfully quick, clever, and vicious pasty-faced weasel sometimes, and I look forward to seeing him bring that out on The Last Leg.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

My audiobook of Perfect Sound Whatever by James Acaster is about seven hours long, and I presently have exactly two hours left of it. During the five hours I’ve heard so far, I’ve gone from being annoyed to enjoying it to feeling mildly creeped out (the bits where he goes into some amount of detail about his relationship with Rose Matafeo – I don’t mean he’s been creepy toward Rose or the reader or anyone in particular and I don’t mean he did anything wrong by writing about that, I just always feel mildly creeped out when hearing the details of someone’s romantic relationship) to feeling inspired to feeling annoyed to feeling very interested and entertained to feeling annoyed.

Five sevenths of the way into the book, I have worked out that there is a possibility that the bits of the book where James most annoys me may provoke that reaction in me because they’re the bits in which James Acaster reminds me most of things I dislike about myself.

Anyway, it’s worth a read. There are some good stories about bands and songs and albums in there, that I’m able to appreciate when I put an enormous effort into silencing the part of my brain that’s shouting, “this is pretentious and annoying.” I’m not sure if silencing that part gets easier or harder once I realize it mostly comes out when James Acaster starts sounding too much like the bits of me that I feel vaguely guilty about and certainly wouldn’t put in a book.

When it comes to specifics of music taste, James Acaster and I differ wildly. It appears that he thinks the best quality a piece of music can have is to be different from everything else. While I have my styles of music that I like and I enjoy listening to people who do a good job of playing within the conventions of those styles. Some of my favourite bits of music involve bending and breaking those conventions, or mixing multiple styles (I’m into traditional music and I’m also into rock music and when people do a really good job of mixing those it’s original and amazing; Celtic/punk, country/punk, and folk/punk music are among the most “out of the box” genre-combining types of music out there and I love them). But I still prefer music that starts from familiar traditions, whether or not it then goes in unexpected directions with those traditions. I prefer that to the whole “music that sounds like nothing anyone else has ever made before” thing that seems to so captivate James Acaster.

So James Acaster and I differ in terms of the actual music we like (I mean, I’m sure there’s lots of overlap but we differ in essential preferences), but I think we’re actually pretty similar in the general way we look at music. Which means I really hate how annoying I find the way he talks about it sometimes. Also the way he talks about life in general.

It’s a good book. It’s the sort of book where I’m going to listen to bits of it again after I finish it for the first time, but I’m not going to listen to it when I just want to relax and not get mad about anything.