#also made him trans bc. i can.
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a redraw of ‘lament for icarus’ by herbert james draper ✷
#mine#heheHEHEHE#this was a little tricky to figure out colour wise but i did it!!#orange overlay orange multiply my beloved#also made him trans bc. i can.#DONT look at the rocks too hard okay i. i was tired by that point#and the water also thats meant to be a straight line some how it is diagonal#they are going downhill its fine#owhh today we went to a stately home bc my mum got national trust membership heehe#my god that was a home. i havent been to one like it there was a huge hallway#im talking like. very large. lined w tapestries n paintings#i like. wanna learn how to oil paint low key high key. its not rlly a good time for me to learn that now but....one day#i gotta figure out portraits first hehe#i want to draw. realistic. portraits. bring my gcse art dream to life#i think i can do that. it will just..take time. idk how to learn that skajfbsdjkbs#n also need to find my way of doing it artistic language etc etc#ihg my leggies hurt. lots of walking#im going to play some hollow knight i think then go 2 bed#tomorrow is turning into a house task day it seems. maybe i will also try 2 figure out portrait hehe#i'll add id tomorrow!!
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ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race
#which id managed to sort of convince myself was maybe#it’s been like 15 years he’s had time to learn better#but the comment Immediately about ‘different colors’ in todays ep#and w the toymakers past.#i’m hoping for the best i really actively am but i’m hesitant#not even writing about race just writing that has anything to do w it#i will never forgive him for martha jones#and my cynicism is saying bringing dt back for three eps and specifically being pretty good about trans people and disabled people#is a good favor investment so he can keep a progressive image and get away w racism#i don’t actually believe that for the record#i’m just worried ncuti gatwa is gonna have to deal with Some Bullshit that’s gonna get blamed on him instead of rtd yk#which is bad for him bc it means a bad working environment and also like. taking the blame for something he didn’t even do#or that if he pushes back on something bad he’ll get branded as difficult to work with etc#anyway. worry once suffer twice or whatever and i think i said all this when the announcements were made#it’s just on my mind again#i want the best for the show and the people making it yk?
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New hyperfixation has been acquired
I love this funky lil ghost show rn
#danny fenton and his t-boy swag#bc yes hes trans you can argue w the wall#transmasc danny canon thank you#danny fenton#danny phantom#danny phantom fanart#sam manson#dp sam#fanart#my art#art#artists on tumblr#also i made him a year older there is no reason just accept it
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Today.............. has genuinely. Been. A Day.
Have some OC doodles I started yesterday before tragedy struck and are like the bare minimum effort for today to finish. Since the two princes were originally not /in canon/ for another plot but rather made for a mafia AU as cousins to one of the main characters for the base plot. I was like. Huh let's give them a happier life. So here they're just princes and instead of the police department/detectives that most of the main cast is in base plot, those are the royal guards around the twins' castle.
#my characters#the funny thing is that the princes are like......... made for an au of another plot#and here they are in another au of the plot#so like yeehaw everyone i love my ocs and i love putting them in situations#also idk what its worth but hey happy pride atticus is trans im proud of him#it has zero relevance to the plot but its important to me that hes trans#he also is like.... an absolute bundle of friendliness which is a huge contrast to the twins cousin#who is extremely stoic for the most part and finds it hard to feel emotions and thinks#everyone feels the same way all the time like him - WHICH IS DEPRESSED BY THE WAY#but he learns that ah nope thats just him and oh hes better by the power of love#and he doesnt actually get it ?? like in canon or mafia or as a prince hes just like#huh i like this guy and he makes me want to smile which is really odd im gonna stay by him if i can#and doesnt even realize right away hes fallen in love#atticus and caspian however are very aware of their emotions and are v happy to see their cousin feel things#and are constantly there to tease him but support him and help him and theyre all good boys#ill shut up in the tags now bc the tags are taking me as long to type as the art took to doodle
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.
#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages#me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my#pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones#idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when#everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that#and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for#this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too#and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for#networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and#then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else#anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me#i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like#alright that's it for now i think#gah emotions and whatnot#missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon#personal
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happy tdov! got another spidersona for ya! :]
'parker' is in between names right now but that doesn't stop him from being the spiderman of his dimension!
their dimension is fairly desaturated so the appearance of our favorite red and blue hero is a disturbance in more ways than one
gwen stacy becomes his 'guy in the chair' after she figures out that he's spiderman :]
#gari draws#gari’s ocs#oc: parker#spiderman#spiderverse#that side profile had hands oh my god 😭#I started this. september 2023. it's older than the piece with mario holding mela and pera#I just consistently forgot about it before making the push to finish it for tdov#since. you know. I made them from earth 331#he's closeted in his secret identity but as you can see. presents masc as spiderman. don't expect a spider-person to be strict on health#gwen and parker went to the same all girls middle school before moving on to a co-ed high school and were good friends#before parker started being weird/withdrawing for several reasons#she figures out that he's spiderman but NOT that he was trans so when she was going over her evidence he just kinda awkwardly blurts it out#I think it would be nice for parker's new name to be ben but I have been unsuccessful in researching trans renaming + the jewish naming#after the dead thing so he could also be peter. but I want him to be ben bc that would be kinda boring. if anyone has a good source lmk#aunt may is supportive!#idk parker has any special powers. but that isn't set in stone
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UP TOP: Is the Tadpole Consumers! Sometimes being 'Power Hungry' means eating an actual worm.
Kendis Wolfcrossing (left): Bearbarian (Druid and Barbarian), She/They (nb). Romance Rolan [Maybe Minthara. Maybe Halsin. I'm just fucking around in the PT]
Kaeliana (right): aka The Dark Urge, Soradin of Kelemvor (Sorcerer and Paladin), She/her (trans). Romance Wyll.
BOTTOM DOWN: The Parental Trauma Cleric Sibs (and potentially both technically undead).
Amryl Shadowhoard (left): Ranger/War Cleric of Bahamut, They/It/She (in order; nb). Romance Wyll/Lae'zel/REDACTED [yeah that's the polyam!]. Is, technically, Isyl's younger sibling.
Isyl Shadowhoard (right): aka The Dark Urge. Cleric of Light [hhaha] of Lathander, ???? (trans and nb). Potential Romance Barcus. Is, definitely, Amryl's older sibling. Isyl remembers that fact and Isyl remembers Lathander. Everything else is secondary. Right?
#meet my tavs#grapes chars#bg3: kendis wolfcrossing#oc: kaeliana#oc: amryl shadowhoard#oc: isyl shadowhoard#bg3 tav#bg3 durge#grapecase posts#meet my ocs#the thing im most excited for isyl is tthe sibling stuff and the struggle between past and 'nature' and ofc exploring duergar shit but i#hope isyl can be a particular shit to wulbern#im more excited about the barcus 'romance' than i expected?#i need to learnmroe about him#kendis is supposed to have a scar over their black/white eye. idk if its hard to see bc of teh tadpole eating or if a mod took it off#i'll check later#this is my current [mostly] active PTs.#but i have like six others in the shadows? lol and one nebulous plan. bc i dont have a geriatric. i wanted to make an old man githyanki but#then the enbies ate my brain#also tho some people put nb as under the trans umbrella i know some people see it as a separate umbrella.#i feel isyl sees themselves as both. they transitioned but they also see themselves as nonbinary. kendis sees being nonbinary as both in#a weird way like its own seperate thing but also under the umbrella? idk a venn diagram? i just vibe for kendis#kae proudly has a girldick. and proudly is a woman. i have mixed ideaas on when she transitioned. im sure it would have been a mess. but it#HERS.#[on the one hand i dont think bhaal cares. but on the other hand idky i feel bhaalists would get very evangelical about it. like THIS IS TH#BODY BHAAL MADE. A RE YOU SAYING BHAAL ERRED???]#amryl is they/it nonbinary. trans. wte. but they're also i think one of those nonbinary unless it's 'god forbid women are allowed to do ANY#HING'#lmao#okay okay im going back to my burrow
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"trans people are only trans because of oppressive gender roles and if we just got rid of the gender roles nobody would be trans" might sound like a hot take, a thoughtful and compassionate take, but unfortunately it is ice cold and does not understand how being trans works at all. meet and talk to and listen to more trans people - preferably in real life - before making assertions like this, especially if you yourself are not trans.
#if this was true then explain to me why my friend is still a man even though his parents tried to raise him with as few#imposed gender roles as possible#every type of woman under the sun was thrust his way with the insistence that his sex was not a limitation#and a girl can be anything she wants and do and study anything she wants#he saw and appreciated all of that and at the end of the day his kid self was still like#'thats nice and i hear you but i'm growing up into a man. you cant fool me'#this is not every trans experience but it is not an UNcommon trans experience. so this argument just doesnt hold water#also if 'giving into your dysphoria' would have made you want to die#and accepting a gender that's in line w your bio sex makes you feel better#congratulations. you are cis#and therefore you do not get to speak to the trans experience#YOUR experience is valid. projecting your experience onto the trans community is wrong#it reads to me the same as someone who thought they were ace until they realized they weren't#concluding that therefore nobody is really ace and all ace people just *think* they are#and their hidden allosexuality can be 'cured' or jumpstarted by whatever set of circumstances triggered *your* sexuality#(knew someone irl exactly like this and it was deeply frustrating)#or thinking that gay people just need to meet the right person to be in a str8 relationship with bc YOU found someone like that#like no sorry...you're just bi#i could go on#i'm frustrated. i understand where this take comes from but it's really misinformed. you need to listen to trans ppl. start there
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Yamato from One Piece is canonically a trans man therefore Yamato from Naruto is also canonically a trans man
kjghskjgdhs i know u are being silly but there's actually plenty of canon material to support a trans reading of Tenzō, and its a reading of the text which is near + dear to my heart
#yamswers#shranstan#obviously i post abt transmasculine yamato bc thats both what im more qualified to talk abt + aligns the easiest w/ his pronouns#in canon translations...but the evidence for trans yamato is not specifically gendered. transfem genderqueer nb agender readings are all#equally possible readings bc evidence 4 trans readings r not focused on his body or discussion of gender but his experience of identity#well. it is also focused on his body but not in a gender way. just in a ''biologically im treated as something other than who i am''#anyway#the situation with yamato(Op) is absolutely fascinating tho. ill probably never watch/read one piece BUT#every once + a while i poke into the yamato(Op) tag to see how everyones doing + how theyre reacting to the text#i often wonder what oda was thinking when he made yamato(Op)...what compelled him. u know?#yamato(Op) is an interesting piece of trans ''representation'' (in quotes bc idk how well a cis man can ''represent'' a trans man w/o help)#and ultimately im glad that yamato(Op) exists! but the fandom reactions are interesting. both the cis and trans reactions#i have a lot of thoughts on this. aj has had to listen to most of them
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gamebanana users are a whole different breed man i have no idea what's going on in their silly little heads
#soda offers you a can#my minimal sonic redesign that didn't even change much and is trans for funsies is drawing out some like. idk even what to call them#“headass” doesn't even begin to capture the individuals that have decided to comment on it#like ok the transphobia is not interesting#but the ppl who think i've overdesigned him are just. fascinating#someone said he looked like werehog and im???#another person said he had “bat ears” and i just don't even know how you end up with that conclusion#and like. “whomever made this” bro the credit is On The Page you're looking at#same person also said it was just “an original character who's trans for clicks”#like yeah ok that's an opinion you can have?? sure#also apparently the “torso design” is also not to someone's liking which is funny bc i copied it from frontiers sonic lmao
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chsc and willingly surrendering bodily autonomy… both of them exhibit forms of self harm through becoming monstrous. foul legacy being difficult to maintain, (parts literally peeling away in that last fontaine cutscene?? falling to pieces..) + sc tearing himself up physically from shouki no kami? (immediately giving up and going limp upon the strings snapping?) both so against the concept of weakness it manifests physically… thinkge.
#sc’s thing w dottore that i like feel a lot over but dont think i have exactly the right words down to describe accurately#and ch choosing to actively harm himself to become more powerful/bigger than himself#ch is very like hit them and hit them hard before they can hurt you or anything u care abt#sc is defined by how tolerant he is to abuse! ! (and kinda so is nahi )#but both ch and sc have like . body horror themes going on tbh.#ntm theyre both trans which also plays into how they feel abt their bodies#honestly i dont think ch really has a lot of dysphoria but i think he also doesnt *allow* himself to feel it. in a way??#if he feels strange abt his body he has the power to change it . fantasy world fantasy solutions imo. and therefore he doesnt dwell on it#hes like that w most things#theres something abt sc being trans and dottore experimenting on him i just have to extract it from my feelings to put into succinct words#allowing someone else to define you to yourself… maybe? volunteering the chisel bc youd rather just get it over with?#going along w things bc you believe yourself a tool so much that even your body youd let be defined by someone else’s image#of what you should look like how you should be#but then like wanderer just feels much more in control of his body.literally fighting the made-up form of yourself ie what dottore created#idk lol aaaaaa#chsc
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after much (some) troubleshooting, i have made a little baldur's gate man! his name is ilverin and he's a trans drow wizard because of course he is, and now i can play 0% of the game because a) i have dnd in half an hour and b) i have a fun glitch where my controller stick constantly makes menu option noises when i use it, which is great when that's the one i have to press to like. walk forwards in the game
#space goes to baldurs gate#that's the tag i cannot promise i wont spoil things#i'll try and tag them if i can#i spent half of character customisation constantly rotating bc i made the mistake of tabbing out to log into discord#and a solid half hour before that trying to figure out why my controller wasn't working#i dont wanna play dnd i wanna play video game dnd#also the fact that i can make him trans. golden. i did not know it was an option but it IS and im happy about it#he's got lil Viz style braids and a funky tattoo and cool earrings#gonna be gay with the vampire
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omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.
#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for#the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity.#i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING.#i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier.#and that's when my dad finally said it.#:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they#are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i#also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way#but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not#politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people#i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a#good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect#my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people#the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and#if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder....#my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid#her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be#her friend.#idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad#bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change
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All of this reminded me of the time, in the old DinLuke server, I proposed a Hadestown AU with Luke as Orpheus (the idealist with magic powers who can restore balance to the force bring the world back into tune, with a wise mentor who seems to know the secrets of the universe), and Din as Eurydice (the pragmatist focused on finding regular food and shelter, who is willing to literally sell her soul to Hades to eat). To me, this casing seemed obvious. Gun to my head, I could not think of a musical theatre character more like Luke Skywalker than Orpheus.
But people bent over backwards to try and convince me Luke should be Eurydice. And for no real good reason, except, I can only assume, because she was the female character, and they could only imagine Luke in the female role.
I bring this up to emphasize that heteronormativity, heterosexism, and homophobia are rampant in this fandom and contribute both to gross mischaracterizations of the characters and (more importantly) the estrangement of actual queer fans. I'm not a gay man, but I am a queer woman in a same-gender relationship, so this kind of heteronormativity in depictions of same-gender relationships does affect me, and does grate on me.
I use this example specifically because it was not connected to Dark!DinLuke and was safe for work. These issues are not limited to Dark!DinLuke or even smut. I do think they can be most obvious in those space, but they are not exclusive to those spaces. This Hadestown example is one of dozens of experiences I've had like this in DinLuke - in sfw and nsfw spaces, in the old server (cannot speak to the new one, I am not in it), on tumblr, and on ao3. It's part of what makes browsing that ao3 tag such a pain in the ass. Because even once I block all the noncon tags, it still takes a lot of work to find a fic where Din and Luke feel like humans, not like Ken and Barbie.
I've brought this up in a number of posts today, but it got sidelined in favor of other (equally important) conversations, so I wanted to point it out specifically. I also want to emphasize that I'm not trying to distance myself from this issue or suggest I am innocent. I'm always open to critique, and I'm sure I've messed up before.
#dinluke#this is the last one#bc this is a major problem ive had since before darkdinluke even became a thing#but ive only really talked about it in dms with friends#and since its the thing i can actually speak to ffrom experience of being in a same gender relationship#it felt weird that i hadn't made a post specifically about it#this also happened with a mamma mia au which was more frustrating#because id made din donna because he had a kid and i specifically made him trans#but then everyone was like 'no luke'#like lets unpack thatone
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feel like an asshole for saying this but man i hope my sister doesnt stay on our vacation long
#liiike shes coming to be with dad for fathers day thats why i feel bad#but we’ve been in a weird spot for some time now bc of what happen#and also last time i was at the beach with her she body shamed me and pressured me into s#into sitting in the tent she packed and discouraged me from swimming bc of my body hair#she probably wont this time as much bc ive changed the kind of swimsuits i wear#but then that may prompt her to insist to my parents that im trans#which i am but i do not want them to know that#im conflicted towards her bc i like her shes the closest thing i have to a sibling i can talk to#but shes also psycho analyzing me constantly and badgerinng me into talking to her and then telling my parents what i said#and when i mentioned the thing on thanksgiving she insisted i made HER uncomfortable and forced the conversation and she had to comfort me#when??? that is NOT what happpened at ALL#what happened was that matt had been a prick again and i snapped at him and she went off on me abt how i had to process my trauma already#while also saying he’d done something far worse to me when i was little (which isnt true) and saying i had to process it and move on#bc ‘’hes just existing now and you have a problem with that so you need to get over it’’#‘’i KNOW he did that i KNOW he hurt you worse than youll admit bc you want to protect him but you HAVE to get over it and talk about it!!’’#and i asked and asked and asked her to stop bc it was uncomfortable and she just#and she knows she fucked up with that bc she avoided me on christmas and ‘’had to give me distance’’ on text#my mom’s encouraging me to just go off if she tries that again tho so that’s something#dl
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Butch euphoria really does come from the buzzcut huh?
#butch#butch tag#butch babbles#cutted of 13 in of hair yesterday and it was so nice#i like long hair and i looked good in it#but theres just something ab a buzzcut...#also got it dyed!#first time i ever dyed it so that was exciting#hoping this year can be my butchification year#need to go shopping again cause i litteraly have only one pair of shoes#and shit still when i was highschool so i NEED to hit the thriftstore over the summer lol#when i was ubber dysphoric lol so a fuck ton of hoodies i dont wear n dont fit#also really want to get my ears pierced#maybe buy black nailpolish#ough i know a guy who does tattoos who im kinda friends with#maybe i can get a dykeish tattoo or i can maybe let him freestyle what he wants#even though ive always have had a connection to masc womanhood#and most of my interactions and closest people are girls#bc i've id'd as a binary trans trans guy and bigender now I sometimes feel like I cant be a butch#also the biphobia that bi woman cant be butch has made me so hesitent#but im#Pushing and bulling myself to get out there#be unabashed
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