Pt. 2
TW: angst/comfort, reader cries a little and is mentioned to have been in therapy
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The silence was agonizing. The air felt drowning and heavy. It didn’t help that no one could look at each other.
Soap and you have migrated to the couch after realizing that the conversation probably should be had while sitting.
How are any of you meant to address any of this?
Each of you knew just enough to fill in the blanks, but how is-
“So…” Johnny broke the silence and your train of thought. “How do you all know each other?”
“Really, Soap? That’s how you want to start this?” Gaz remarked, letting his grievance show.
“Aye! How else ye expect this to go?! How ye think I feel knowin’ ye’ve shagged my lass?”
“Jesus Christ…” you groan as you hide behind your hands.
“Not everyone-“ Simon murmured leaning back in with his arms crossed.
“Simon!” You exclaim, revealing your warmed cheeks to everyone.
“Well with the way ye look at ‘er I would’ve guessed otherwise-“
“Okay- no, that’s it-“ you stand in front of them all, pointing as you addressed each. “You- Simon, are meant to be dead, I went to your funeral. Fucks sake, I visit those graves everytime I drive past them!”
Simon couldn’t stand to defend himself, because he knew that already. He’d seen you talking to his and his family’s graves every now and then when he went to see them himself. It had torn him apart to not reveal he was alive, but he’d convinced himself it was for your sake. Even if that meant you’d shed more tears.
“You pushed me away for months before ultimately saying that you needed to move for work, that you couldn’t be with me anymore-“ your eyes still held the hurt from long ago as you gazed at Kyle.
“It wasn’t a complete lie…” Kyle scratched at his head, his poor attempt to redeem himself falling flat.
“Shut it, Garrick. You-“ your finger landed on Price, “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town? I assume you’ve been back for a while, so why didn’t you say anything?”
John knew he had no excuse, so he didn’t attempt to deny his reasoning. “Though’ ye might’ve been with yer other man…”
A hefty exhale escapes you as you hold back from saying more. You could slap him, because how, after all this time, does he not see himself as enough? Instead, your gaze landed on Johnny.
“And you, Johnny, you didn’t really do anything, but still, this could’ve never happened if you or John just told me who else was on the team.”
“Or told us who ye were dating.” Kyle muttering was directed to Johnny, but it earned side eye from you.
“Moral of the story,” you continued, “all of you have been keeping things from me. And now we’re here… and I don’t know what to do or say…” your voice broke a little from the festering emotions. Everyone was quick to their feet to comfort you, John worming his way to the front.
“Aye, lass, there’s no need to cry. We just need to talk this out.” John’s hands cupped your cheeks as the tears threatened to spill. “Maybe we should take a break, take a breather. Later, we can talk one on one with you and each other.”
You nod as you try to calm yourself, doing the short breathing exercises you learned from therapy.
John placed a soft kiss to your forehead before being pushed aside by Johnny. His arms quickly envelop you and he kisses your temple.
“Common lass, let’s get ye out of here for a bit…” Johnny whispered and pulled you into the bedroom, leaving the other men standing in a circle, stuck their own thoughts…
————
Idk what to call this series so feel free to leave some suggestions!
Also didn’t want to make this series too angsty, but reader is definitely gonna need some one-on-one time with each of the boys…
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Can you make some sad libby headcanons? I swear all your other sad headcanons made me cry😭
sad libby head canons
YES! libby is literally the fucking best and she's so underrated. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts/attempts, eating disorders, and sexual assault. hope you like them <3.
she used to apologize to her mother after she would hit her (in tig she says her mother used to hit her when she was stressed)
she's been self-harming since she was like 12. she used the blade in her pencil sharpener and cut the tops of her thighs (you can't see them even when she wears shorts)
drake convinced her that him SAing her was out of love, and that he knew she 'wanted' it so she should stop complaining. she'd be the one who ended up apologizing to him after he'd assault her
in high school, because of how tough things were at home, she used to do drugs (she had this really bad group of friends that sort of influenced her) (she didn't get addicted to the drugs though, if was more of a once in a while thing when she couldn't handle her life anymore)
at some point, her mom was doing really badly financially, and they were forced to move into a smaller one bedroom apartment. libby thought her mom deserved the bed bc she worked so hard so she slept on the floor.
she's so used to people hitting her that it doesn't even hurt anymore. when someone does, she sort of dissociates in order to not feel anything.
her mom used to tell her she was overweight (she was literally underweight, her mom was just jealous). libby then developed an eating disorder (bulimia)
the ED was sort of an on and off thing for her. every once in a while, she'd get the idea in her head that she was overweight and ugly and should do smth about it, but, then, avery or one of her friends would help her get better.
the reason she's drawn to men like drake is bc it's the only thing she's familiar with. her mom was a piece of shit too, so for her its what's normal/what she deserves (this is less of a head canon and more psychology but eh)
she'll do anything anyone asks of her. she can't say no even if it makes her uncomfortable/she doesn't have the time/doesn't like that person.
she sometimes gets so mad at the world that she punches walls until her bones almost break.
she hates getting mad at people bc she reminds herself of her mother.
she's terrified of becoming a mother (even though she wants to be one) bc she's convinced herself that she'll be like her mom, if not worse.
her mom used to get mad at her for ricky (her father) leaving. so much so that libby started blaming herself for it
drake used to tell libby that if she didn't let him have his way with her, he'd hurt avery. libby, of course, didn't want that so she would let him do awful things to her.
she hates taking baths bc drake used to waterboard her (if you don't know what that is, search it up)
when libby used to do things her mom didn't approve of/like (mistakes all children make and learn from like spilling a glass of milk), she would deny libby basic needs like food, water, a bed to sleep in etc.
idk if this one will make sense (it makes sense to me but idk), but libby dyes her hair a new color very often bc its a way for her to start anew. like lets say she breaks up with drake again and she hates herself for getting back together with him in the first place, she dyes her hair a new color to signify the beginning of a new era.
she will literally break her back to please people/be the person they want her to be. if they think she talks to much, she'll stop talking, etc (people's opinions of her matter a lot to her)
tw prob one of the darkest hcs i've ever written: libby ended up in the hospital once bc she slit her wrists trying to off herself. this happened right before she took avery in. the doctors didn't think she'd make it.
she'd considered offing herself multiple times before and after the last hc, but she doesn't bc just the thought of it makes her feel guilty. she doesn't want people to cry over her bc she thinks she doesn't deserve their tears, and she doesn't want to leave people she wants to help
she insists everyone get therapy but herself bc, to her, other people matter more
the only thing that brought her comfort as a child was this stuffed bunny. she used to press it to her wounds bc it would dull the pain (this might not make sense but whenever i get hurt (cause im ass clumsy bitch), putting pressure on the wound dulls the pain). she also found comfort in how soft it was.
drake threw that bunny away cause he thought it was worthless. libby told nash about this and he searched the entire fucking country until he found that damn stuffed bunny (idk how he did but he's a hawthorne so...)
when she has panic attacks, she'll either be very silent/still in a corner or she'll be clawing/pulling at anything around her (including herself)
she didn't do well in school not bc she wasn't smart but bc the students and teachers were so creepy towards her (would harass her constantly) that she felt uncomfortable even stepping into the school
absolutely hates it when drunk people interact with her/get too close to her bc whenever drake got drunk, he'd hit her
hannah's death hit her hard too. they were actually much closer than people thought they were. hannah helped her through a lot of shitty things that happened in her life. she would visit her grave every once in a while to tell her she wished she was still here bc her life (and avery's) was absolutely shit without her. she would breakdown in the middle of the graveyard every time
whenever she felt like hurting herself but didn't have a blade nearby, she would dig her fingernails into the already existing wounds to make them bleed again.
drake once beat her up so bad she ended up in the hospital with brain swelling and a fractured arm. the swelling in her brain was so bad they didn't know if she'd make it out alive.
here's a happy libby head canon to (hopefully) make it all better:
she used to be this supervisor at a daycare when she was younger (that's probably not even a thing but lets pretend it is). the kid would make her drawings all of the time with hearts and proposals and stuff. she loved the kids so much, she would hug every single one of them and bake them cupcakes. they were literally her best friends, and some of them still send her messages through their mom/dad (she would befriend their parents and give them her number/email)
not proof read bc i'm a lazy ass bitch. i say this in every post, but pls talk to someone if you need help (if there's no one in your life you can talk to, contact a helpline). sending lots of love to everyone <3.
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…no but going on about the rant…that is just a very interesting perspective and hot contrast coming from spencer. LIKE him being such a sucker for love, for reader but at the same time, being so confident in his knowledge on s*x. ouf, the hicky or the vibrator thing using it in front of him…i hope we can get a one-shot or anything…
just to let you know…
just.
but still, i think there must be boundaries for all the affection he gives to reader? i mean, i believe it can get overwhelming for reader at some point. (i feel like this sounds so weird but i hope you can get me) s*x is already a very overwhelming activity in itself with all of the emotions & changes going on in one’s body. i wonder how they discuss or handle this?
the way i’m so invested into your rantings and ramblings….
i definitely get you!!! i do at some point want to write something where either reader does get genuinely overwhelmed during sex or something and they have to stop cause he would sooo take care of her like it would just be really sweet and i think going along with the whole him “teaching” her thing, that would be a part of it for sure. like learning that it’s important to listen to yourself and be honest when you need to stop and stuff like that.
kinda nsfw discussions below the cut abt aftercare
i love writing aftercare😭😭 idk i know it’s random and idk if im going to do this for dybmn but ur right like i think sometimes sex IS rlly overwhelming especially the first time and it does feel weird and does weird things to you and i have this vague idea of her being like rlly confused and overwhelmed and kinda achey and stuff afterwards cause that’s very real and having him just take care of her and be reassuring idk idk….. maybe that will go in to the final part of dybmn maybe it won’t i’m not sure
im also not sure if that’s something anyone else would be interested in or if it’s just super niche and weird and nobody wants it LOL😭 if you do pls let me know and if you don’t pls let me know
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