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bidaryl · 9 months

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time travel fix it au's are done to death in this fandom but also they're my favourite thing in the world so au where the entire show happens as is and it's heartbreaking and inspiring etc but then. restart button. waking back up at the start of the end except only the people that lived remember

wanna think about what would happen when daryl and carol wake up at camp, remembering everything that happened; carol stronger, knowing in her gut that everything that she remembers is real, and daryl fucking terrified, because if everything in his head actually happened, then what the fuck is this

wanna think about a rick dragging a hostile merle and a wide-eyed glenn back to camp, memories completely intact, and running to reunite with his family. not letting daryl go and hugging carol so so so tight, collapsing to the ground with carl in his arms

wanna think about them dragging the atlanta group to the farm, maggie leaving the front porch light on for them, and everyone reuniting. rick seeing hershel again, daryl seeing beth, carol pulling sophia close, and maggie being unable to even breath, looking at glenn

wanna think about them tossing up whether to even go to the prison, but they met important people there, and alexandria's a long way, and if they're gonna survive this time–if they're gonna live–they're gonna do it right

so they go to the prison so they can figure out their next step, and michonne's there and waiting, andre on her hip, and they deal with the governor before the governor deals with them, and sasha and tyresse finally show up, they find the prisoners, and then one day they get a knock on the front gate, and it's negan

negan showing up, no baseball bat in hand but his leather jacket still in place, a sick but alive lucille by his side, laura and doctor franklin behind him, and all he's got to say is at the end of the world, i know which side i wanna be on

the fallout of that, of maggie being against it, of rick never having gotten to see negan at the end, not knowing the choices he made, the good and the bad. daryl and carol looking at glenn, seeing him alive and in love and having no memory of his last moments, and never wanting anything to ruin that, but negan saved judiths life, helped save all their lives. he chose, in the end, and now it's their turn

wanna think about a future where beth doesn't die, but they go on a rescue mission to get noah anyway. a future where tara turns up with her niece, led by eugene with abraham and rosita following right behind him

wanna think about how they'd handle terminus, how they'd handle the claimers. wanna think about them trying to find father gabriel, except gabe made it the first time around, and he wasn't wasting his second chance. he saved his flock, and he led them to alexandria, and he's waiting

wanna think of connie's group searching for hilltop. not finding maggie, or alden, but finding jesus. wanna think about lydia, being a fucking child, and watching her mother kill her dad, and remembering aaron telling her how loved she was

wanna think of the growing pains of them being able to save so many more family members this time, but god, a larger group is harder to keep alive

daryl trying to run interference with merle and everyone else, getting the jack of it one day and telling him he's already mourned him once, and he won't again. if merle wants to stay–to live–then it's up to him. daryl's not gonna babysit him anymore

rick trying to find his footing between lori and shane and judith, with carl, with michonne and andre. michonne looking at a weak but alive lori grimes holding a screaming and crying newborn in her arms, and knowing that she's never gonna be her daughter the way she was before, but knowing she'll always be something to her

carol struggling to be the mother sophia needs her to be, emotions too sharp and constantly fucking terrified. doesn't know how to hold onto someone like that anymore, either gripping too tight or not at all

maggie trying to exist in a world where she has everyone she's ever loved back, so close and so fucking dear, except it cost her her son. not knowing if she'll ever get him back at all. doesn't know how to live with the grief of losing someone she never technically had in this world

they make it to alexandria and it's aaron opening the gate for them, waiting to welcome them home

#posts u type on christmas eve when watching christmas movies #anyway this is too big and too complicated in my head but i wanna dissect it like a bug yknow #wanna see daryl and aaron remember something lydia said about her life at the start #and set off to go find her #wanna see a world where hershel meets aaron and tara #wanna see the complicated blended grimes family in action #want to see princess and tara and rick interact becos i think it'd be so so special #want to see alden and negan interact #want to see how lucille would fit into it all then see how annie would fit into it #wanna see mercer come into it wanna see him go find princess except princess finds him #also just want to see who would believe them when the truth eventually spills out #shane not believing at all that time travel could ever possibly be real and currently happening #but merle believing daryl becos daryl could break his nose daryl could fuck up his bike daryl could raise actual hell.but daryl wouldn't li #at least–not about this #just! wanna see! wanna think!#anyway. merry christmas eve im going to bed now #there are so many characters and points and interactions im probably missing or forgetting but u Get It #m #text

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koumeowkami · 9 months

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🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter five

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

3099 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

previous ✧ next

The faint morning light was passing through the curtains, hitting Kanata's face slightly. He was still sleeping, reveling in that weird warmth that was spreading in his cold body. His mind went immediately back to all the nights spent with Nayuta, but now things were different, right?

Suddenly, an imaginary alarm sounded in Kanata's head, warning him that something was definitely wrong. He slowly, cautiously opened his eyes...

...and then screamed.

"What the fuck are you doing in the bed?! "

The redhead fell out of the bed, landing on his unused sleeping bag and then looked up at a flushed Kanata like a deer in headlights. Kanata thought he looked ridiculously pathetic, but only for a split second. He was too angry to focus on that.

"What's up with you, screaming like that?! I was literally next to you..." the boy said, still half asleep.

"Well, that's the thing! You shouldn't have been next to me, you dumbass!" Kanata argued, massaging his temples. "Who do you think you are, deciding stuff on your own?!"

Seriously, what was wrong with him. He just wanted to be left alone and yet this guy couldn't seem to learn what personal space was. No matter how strong the barrier, he just kept trespassing it as he liked.

"Hey! I had a reason to take your hand" Suzaku stood up, "You were tossing and turning in your sleep. I wanted to help you and it worked!" he looked at Kanata, smiling proudly.

Kanata stopped his hissy fit and looked down. How did he not realize he slept, after so long he couldn't even remember the last time? He remembered nightmares tormenting him last night as always, and then... light shone on his heart, clearing the way. That was probably the very first time he had a good night's sleep after his brother's death.

"You shouldn't have..." he said softly, his head still lowered. "I don't... deserve it..."

He saw the redhead getting closer, his expression worried. "Kanata... are you okay-"

"Good morning, everyone!" Pink Hair chimed in cheerfully, interrupting that very awkward moment. Kanata felt almost relieved. He wasn't ready to tell him anything yet; they were strangers, there was no need for Suzaku to know his past. He kept repeating that in his mind.

"Heard you guys screaming and all, are you alright?" they looked at Kanata first, then the other boy, frowning slightly.

The redhead cleared his throat, "Sure! Don't worry about it" he smiled, "Actually can we go have breakfast? I'm starving and I bet Kanata is also hungry!"

Kanata's stomach growled to confirm his statement and he finally decided to get up, trying to look at Suzaku the least he could. His hand was still burning hot.

"So, did you sleep well?" Mushroom-Head said, sipping on his bitter coffee, "I suppose you did, since you had the energy to make so much noise this early in the morning."

"Erm... I slept well!" Suzaku ignored that comment. "The sleeping bag wasn't really comfortable, though" he lied, letting out an awkward laugh.

"Wait, why didn't you sleep on the sofa?" Pink Hair questioned, confused. That was actually a real good question, considering Kanata wanted to sleep alone, after all. He buried his face in the bowl in front of him and listened silently.

"Well... I didn't want to leave him alone..." the redhead scratched the back of his head, "It was his first night here, anything could've happened."

"...Fucking hell " Kanata muttered, his grip on the chopsticks getting stronger. Something did happen, but the bastard had to stay out of it. It didn't matter how good he felt during that night, he was guilty for enjoying that odd feeling in his heart. He wasn't supposed to feel happy, not when he made that promise. Why couldn't that guy just mind his own business? It made his blood boil, so much he ended up blushing furiously. Thankfully no one noticed.

"You're such an idiot." Mushroom-Head sighed.

Kanata couldn't agree more with him, at least for once.

"Hear me out, guys" Pink Hair started, after everyone had finished their breakfast, "How about we go shopping today? It's been some time since the last time I went..." they pouted, "Also, Kanata needs something to wear! He can't be borrowing Allen's stuff forever, can he?"

While Kanata didn't exactly like the idea to go out and get stuck in the crowd of the city, he agreed. He couldn't stand having that boy's scent on himself any longer, it was making his head spin.

"Then I suppose it's decided!" the redhead said, "But can we stop for a bit at the record shop, too? I wanna show it to Kanata..." he looked at his friends with pleading eyes.

Was this trip to the record shop that important? It's not like Kanata had ever cared about music; he never got a chance to enjoy it, being an hobby of the elites.

"Yes, we can" Mushroom-Head finally spoke, "Although remember that stopping by doesn't mean «staying there the whole day», got it?"

"...Yessir" the boy sighed, grumbling like a kid.

And trying to ignore him was becoming more and more a hard task.

Downtown. As Kanata had figured, that was exactly the last place he wanted to be at that moment. It was noisy, crowded and it had shops that clearly only rich people could enter; he just felt so out of place there. For someone like him, who didn't even want to be perceived, that was straight-up torture.

"I'm tellin' you already, I'm not gonna get anythin' from here" he had been looking around for quite a bit, "This stuff looks classy as hell. I would never wear somethin' like that."

"Oh, really? Who would've imagined that. You usually look so composed and elegant" Mushroom-Head said sarcastically. Honestly, why couldn't he ever shut the fuck up? The redhead surely had weird friends.

"I don't need designer clothes or anythin' of that sort." Kanata ignored him, "I just need somethin' comfortable. And I don't want y'all to spend a lot for me, no matter how filthy rich you are" he added, looking away. That was just how he was: he wanted the least help as possible, even more from the very kind of people who had put him down before. That was surely out of pity and he didn't like it one bit. Maybe he could've found a part-time job or whatever, so he could grow a little independent. But wait, why was he even thinking about it now? He swore not to put any efforts in living any longer and now he was stuck in this situation... something went wrong in the process but Kanata couldn't really pinpoint what, at least not yet.

His train of thoughts got interrupted when he saw a thrift shop at the end of the street. His eyes sparkled for a second, then started rushing towards it, not waiting for the others yelling him to slow down. Reaching the entrance, he looked at the shop window in awe: he had never seen that kind of clothing before in his world, but he wanted to give it a shot.

"A thrift shop? Oh well, looks like the perfect place for him" Mushroom-Head reached him along with the others. "Shut up, Hajun. The boy's got some taste" Pink Hair added, "Maybe he liked Allen's clothes a bit too much~"

"N-No way! I don't like anythin' about him!" Kanata turned around immediately, blushing angrily, "I just wanted... something comfortable... yeah" he said, his voice getting smaller by the second. He just had the time to notice Suzaku blushing a bit as well when Pink Hair went "Yeah yeah, sure" and pushed him inside the shop.

He wandered around for a bit, then saw a nice set of jacket and pants in a flowery pattern. Both of the items were in a purple-blueish color, just like his eyes; he always felt like those colors belonged to him and his brother. That's when he also noticed the snakes on the jacket. Snakes again, huh.

"I want this one."

"You look fabulous!~" Pink Hair clapped their hands in agreement as soon as he stepped out of the changing room: he had paired that set with a black tank top and white high socks. He didn't know why, but he really did feel comfortable in them. His chest got warm again remembering when he used to play dress up with Nayuta back in those dimly lit alleys, using a bunch of clothes that people had thrown away in the trash. He didn't care about those dull white vests but they looked like the prettiest treasure ever in Nayuta's hands.

"I don't understand fashion much, but those colors suit you a lot!" the redhead interrupted his thoughts again, "By the way, why do you like snakes so much?"

"Hah? "

"I mean... I noticed your earring" the boy pointed at Kanata's ear, "It's in the shape of a snake. And there are snakes all over that jacket as well..."

Kanata pondered that same question to himself again. He had always liked snakes for some reason, despite it being a sin in Heaven. Angels had banished snakes long before the twins were even born; those few people associated with the reptile were easily outcast and deemed as demonic. Well, Kanata was aware of all that but still... he was simply drawn to it: he couldn't escape from its spell and now that he had fallen, he liked it even more. It was the expression of his blessing, his curse and everything in between.

"Dunno" he simply replied, "I just feel close to 'em" he added, and immediately turned away, not giving the other boy any time to ask more questions. He wouldn't have understood anyways.

After buying a few other clothes, they were back on the streets again. The sunset was near when they approached the records shop: it was dusty, old and cramped, looking more like a small warehouse than an actual shop.

"Kanata, do you like Hip-hop?" the redhead turned to him excited hoping for a positive response, but the boy had no fucking idea what Hip-hop was. He only knew classical music, that was all that was ever played in Heaven: music to relax the mind and help concentrate. To be honest, he only found it annoying.

"The hell is that?"

That was enough to make the other look like his entire world collapsed. It's not like he cared much about the redhead's feelings, but was music really that important to him?

"You... you don't know what Hip-hop is?" he started, "Like, you've never heard of the legendary duo Buraikan, who sold out albums and shows all over the world? The group that changed Japan's music industry forever, that brought a completely new style, that-"

"No, I don't! I ain't got a clue who these guys are!" Kanata stopped him. He felt like he could've kept going forever if he didn't.

"Ugh... sorry Kanata, Allen gets always so excited over Hip-hop" Pink Hair apologized for the boy, who was still staring at Kanata in disbelief. "He's a real nerd."

"There's nothing we can do when he goes off on the tangent.... truly annoying" Mushroom-Head added.

"Yeah... I noticed" he sighed, "So? What's the deal with this hipu hopu thing or whatever?"

Suzaku suddenly came out of his trance and looked at him with stars in his eyes.

He immediately regretted asking that.

Kanata spent the next hour trying to understand the redhead blabbering stuff about Hip-hop. He kept showing him random records while explaining him how he started producing songs by himself and later founded a Hip-hop group with his roommates, proudly stating that they're gradually becoming popular in the city, winning stage battles and such. Kanata never asked to know all that and definitely didn't care, but he wasn't able to shut that boy up. To be honest, he didn't even try to do that to begin with: Suzaku seemed so invested that he almost felt bad stopping him; apparently it was something really important to him that helped him free himself from the shackles of his parents. Kanata still found him incredibly annoying, but he had to respect that. For a moment he envied the redhead for his burning vitality, since he had nothing in his cold hands anymore. He kept having so many mixed feelings that day and it was driving him insane.

He had spent so much time listening to the boy, he didn't even realize it was closing time. The shopkeeper almost had to threw them out because Suzaku just didn't want to leave, determined to explain everything to Kanata in full detail. When they exited the shop, he promised they would've continued later in his room: "I'm gonna show you how to produce songs" he smiled at him, "I bet you're gonna love it once you see the real thing!"

"Oh my God Allen, give him a break" Pink Hair gave Kanata an apologetic smile. "He's going to get a headache if you keep going like that" Mushroom-Head added, "Oh well, fine by me. For once you're not sticking to us."

The redhead laughed nervously. He looked like he felt a bit sorry for being so loud about music, but the next thing he said threw Kanata off guard.

"I couldn't help it. He had that sparkle in his eyes I just couldn't ignore" the guy turned to him, "I feel like he's the right guy for this!"

A sparkle in his eyes? That was impossible. Nothing could ever stir his broken, dead heart awake again, there was simply no way he could be genuinely interested in something. He kept convincing himself that, but that boy's words were just stuck in his head and he wasn't able to get them out. He just sighed and hurried home, going far ahead the others. He couldn't bear to look at the redhead, again.

Tired after spending a whole day wandering around, Kanata's body hit the mattress, awaiting him for some relax. He couldn't even close his eyes when the other boy busted in their room, making a ton of noise trying to set that weird machine on his desk up.

"C'mon, Kanata! It's time to produce!"

He suddenly remembered what they had to do and the mere thought of it made him exhausted already. He dragged himself to the desk and sat in front of a glowing screen.

"What's this thing?" he pointed at all those devices connected by colored wires. Heaven didn't have this sort of futuristic thing, being a very traditional place: he was confused about how all that could serve them as a musical instrument.

"Oh this? It's a computer, of course" the other replied, as a matter of fact. "I downloaded a very valid program to make music a long time ago. It was a bit expensive but totally worth it!" he said, then started pressing keys and dragging stuff on the screen, while explaining the whole process with weird technical words. Kanata didn't understand any of it, but he followed every move carefully despite being tired: he looked almost entranced, not taking his eyes off of the boy for even a second. It felt slightly embarrassing, but Kanata didn't really care at that moment, since Suzaku wasn't even sparing him a glance.

"... Aaaand this is it!" the redhead moved away from the desk a little as soon as he finished, smiling wide. "Now it's your turn to try and make something" he turned to Kanata, who looked pensive, "Oh don't worry, I won't judge! It's your first time, after all" he specified in a hurry, knowing how easily irritated the other boy could get.

"Move." Kanata said simply, putting his hands on the keyboard. He was a fast learner, mimicking what Suzaku had done before but at the same time adding something new, something different that came from deep inside of him. His hands were moving by themselves, just pouring his all in whatever he was doing, letting his feelings flow freely in that music as the guy had taught him. What he was experiencing in that moment made him unusually excited as he felt a small smile approach his doll-like face.

He was fully concentrated but still saw from the corner of his eyes the redhead looking at him intently. The room was in an unusual silence though, not a single comment yet. Just the pressing of keys. As soon as Kanata was done with it, he just let the music play. His music. His heart. Something that he couldn't express with words yet. He composed himself again, his usual frown back on his face.

"Kanata..." the boy started, struggling to find the words. "I knew it! I knew you were the right guy!" he suddenly raised his voice, startling the angel a bit, "How can you even do this!? This is insane! Your Hip-hop is so cool!"

There he went again. He looked like he had just found some valuable gem, yelling some weird stuff like This is it! This is the real Hip-hop! like a madman.

"Oh my God, I get it!" Kanata spat exasperated, "Stop fuckin' yellin' for a damn second!" he finally locked eyes with the redhead. The other just giggled like a kid, pointing his finger at him, "Don't act all cool, now! I saw that, y'know."

"What?"

"You smiled while making this song! I can perceive every single one of your feelings only in this short bit of music. You must've enjoyed it a lot!"

"You're truly so fuckin' annoyin'..." Kanata turned away, getting up from his seat, "I'm goin' to bed, I'm tired."

"You're right! It's gotten pretty late" Suzaku got up as well, tidying the music machines up and getting his red sleeping bag ready again, "I'm not gonna bother you tonight, I promise!"

"You better not" the angel said quietly, his voice muffled by the sheets covering him. Silence fell once again, but he knew something was going to trouble his sleep tonight despite not feeling uneasy like usual: his heart was beating so loud he thought it would explode in seconds, like a ticking bomb. He couldn't stop thinking about whatever happened with Suzaku before, focusing again and again on how he felt during that moment. It was a weird feeling his heart couldn't bear, being too rusty at this point to work properly. Was that redhead really able to make those old gears in his chest work again? He kept wondering, before eventually falling asleep.

#🪐; no celestial #paralive #paradox live #kanallen #allenkana #allen sugasano #kanata yatonokami #WE ARE SO BACK Y'ALL #HAPPY COZMEZ DAY !!!!!!!#also merry christmas eve <3 #publishing this asap on ao3 as well. i prommy

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