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tomboyneedshercoffee · 4 years

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Lovedust Pt.8 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N and Josh talk things over about where they stand as Y/N tries to build the courage to confess to Peter. One night on top of the roof, Y/N and Peter reveal any secrets they’ve been keeping from each other.

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: This is technically the last part of Lovedust but there will be an epilogue. I was going to go a whole different direction and make it too angsty because sometimes, life works out that way but you guys deserve a happy ending ;) This series was only meant to be about three parts long but because of ow supportive and kind you all have been, I just have no words except thank you all so much. I will give a better thank you for the epilogue but until then, enjoy the chapter.

Warning: adult language

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || epilogue

You stared up at your bedroom ceiling quietly, picking at the stitching of your blanket to the point where you had about four inches of loose thread massaged between your thumb and middle finger.

Three minutes.

Peter was presumed dead for three minutes as you were giving him CPR that was literally a race against the clock. One hundred eighty seconds was the span between life or death and you couldn’t help but think of what if you had stopped after a minute? What about one hundred and seventy-nine seconds?

Three minutes. Your mind was so fucked that the only thing you could compare the time to was that Peter was dead longer than the time it took to pop a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

You thought back to the time where you had gone to California with Tony where you were alone in the hotel room while he had a conference. You remembered how scared you felt when the ground started to shake underneath you as the earth rolled underneath.

That earthquake must’ve only lasted fifteen seconds tops and yet, you felt like it was an eternity of shielding yourself underneath one of the desks that would’ve surely broken if the roof caved in overhead.

It’s odd how times works, whenever you’re in a dangerous situation, your body literally slows downtime so you can have the best chance at survival. So while those three minutes didn’t seem like a long time, the lingering fear of losing Peter after everything sent your body through emotional distress like no other.

It felt like a cruel joke; you had only come to realize you were in love with him when he was dying in front of you. What was even crueler was that even though everything seemed less complicated now that you really understood how you felt about him, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

It had been a few days since you had seen Peter since the night of the party and you felt like you were slowly losing your sanity. Your dad tried convincing you that Peter needed to be monitored for a while but maybe he just wanted you two to stay away from each other since you practically almost killed him by kissing Josh.

You loved Peter and he “loved” you yet once he was cured, he wouldn’t share the same feelings for you. What would happen once he was cured? How different would things be between you, especially since you would be having feelings for someone who doesn’t love you back?

Loving someone who surely wasn’t in love with you felt like a whole new level of self-destruction.

Your phone rang from underneath your pillow and temporarily interrupted your thoughts. You reached under the pillow to pull out your phone to find that Josh was calling you.

You inhaled sharply as you practically leaped out from under your covers, unsure of what to do.

The last you heard from Josh was the night of the party but just like Peter, you hadn’t seen or spoke to him since. That wasn’t the full truth, Josh had been texting you to make sure you were okay but you didn’t have the strength to even reply to his worried texts.

Poor Josh. He felt like an innocent bystander who got hit in the crossfire of what was going on between you and Peter.

In past relationships, you were like Josh. Your past boyfriends seem to always treat you as a rebound, a backup in case things went south and as gross as it made you feel, it was like you could sort of understand why your exes felt that way.

You didn’t want to lead Josh on, he was too nice of a guy to deserve that type of treatment. Your thumb hovered over the screen and you answered his call at the last second. He deserved that at the least.

“ Hey sorry, I was um, preoccupied. Is everything okay?” You asked as you started to pace your room.

“ I was going to ask the same for you. You haven’t been answering my texts and I was getting worried.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as a wave of guilt washed over you,” Y-Yeah I’m sorry. I’ve just been going through some stuff. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“ You don’t have to apologize, I get it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something in person, are you doing anything at the moment?

You rolled your shoulders back as you let out a deep sigh. In all honesty, you didn’t feel like leaving your room but if you were going to pick Peter over Josh, you also would have to owe him an explanation.

“ Okay, where do you want to meet?”

“ We can meet outside your complex, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“ Oh that’s probably easier anyway, when are you gonna come over?” You asked as you fell backwards onto your bed.

“ Um...I’m already outside.”

Your eyes widened as you scrambled over to your window to squint out towards the entrance. Sure enough, if you squinted really hard, you could make out Josh’s car outside the front gate.

“ Oh fuck! Sorry um, I’m coming out now!” You didn’t bother to let Josh respond as you hung up the phone and practically rushed out of your bedroom.

You practically sprinted across the front lawn all the way to the entrance and once you opened the gate, you leaned your body against the side of Josh’s car to help catch your breath.

“ You didn’t have to run all the way here, I could’ve waited,” Josh said with a smile as he watched you struggling.

“ I know,” You huffed as you felt yourself calm down,” but it would have been awkward if you just stood there for five minutes and watched me walk the whole way.”

“ Okay, that’s fair,” Josh chuckled as he leaned against the side of his car beside you,” I wanted to talk to you about the night of the party. I just want to make sure you’re okay and I’m sorry if I overstepped by kissing you. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

You felt your heartstrings tug at his words as you looked down at your flip flops. You didn’t know how to explain to him that he wasn’t the one who overstepped but that the kiss was never supposed to happen.

“ You don’t have to apologize Josh and you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. It’s just...I know how you feel about me and don’t get me wrong, I’m so flattered that you actually like me because to be honest, you’re way out of my league but um,” You awkwardly rubbed your sweaty hands against your pajama bottoms and let out a shaky breath,” I thought things were fine and that they would go back to normal but um, things kinda just happened and you were there and I thought hey he’s cute, like super cute, and Kim was being so pushy-”

“ I know you have feelings for Peter, it’s okay Y/N,” Josh interrupted as he took a moment before wincing,” I didn’t mean to interrupt you but I had a feeling that’s where you were heading with it. Plus you ramble when you’re nervous and I don’t want you to say something embarrassing. ”

Bless his soul, Josh really would be the death of you.

“ Is it that obvious I like him?”

“ Painfully obvious yeah. I kinda figured you two had something going on but after you gave him CPR and you two gave each other that look, that’s when it all clicked for me,” Josh said as you felt the tips of your ears get hot.

“ Josh, I am so sorry. I really mean it when I say that you’re the sweetest guy I have ever met and I really do wish you the best,” You answered honestly and you felt even guiltier when Josh only shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You couldn’t believe that even now as you were telling Josh you didn’t share feelings for him that he was still being incredibly sweet towards you.

“ Same goes for you, I hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I have to be honest and say that I can’t get rid of my feelings for you overnight but hopefully we can be friends somewhere along the line,” Josh offered as you felt your heart snap in two.

As you looked back at Josh, that’s when you could really make out the distinct difference between the two boys. You weren’t sure if what Josh was saying was truthful, he was harder to read than Peter and even though his mouth was saying one thing, you could see that there was some pain behind his brown eyes that told a different story.

Yet nonetheless, you admired that Josh, despite having the full right to completely guilt you and make you feel like shit because of what happened, still chose to put any malicious intent aside for your own good.

“ Is it okay if I hug you?” You asked as Josh returned a sweet smile, embracing you in his strong arms.

Despite the heaviness in Josh’s chest, he felt his heart flutter at the feeling of your body pressed against his. The hug was short but even in those few seconds, Josh felt himself trying to take a mental picture of this moment, something he would replay over and over as he did his best to get over you.

After Josh had left, you made your way back into your cave and hid out in your room for the rest of the night. You had school first thing in the morning and yet, you found yourself tossing and turning yet again.

To cure your restless mind, you left your room and headed into the kitchen to make tea. You were never the type to drink tea but you didn’t have the patience to just lay in bed, at least this way you were occupying your mind with something else.

As the water boiled, you kept your eyes on Peter’s bedroom door, your knee bouncing up and down as if you were anticipating him opening it. You wondered how he was feeling, considering he almost died and all.

You just wished you could have the confidence to just go up and talk to him, to admit that it was him all along and that you chose him.

You poured the tea into a mug and cradled it in your hands carefully as a pair of feet made their way into the kitchen. You turned around, anticipating Peter’s face but instead, you looked up to see your dad.

“ You didn’t hear it from me but Peter is up on the roof waiting for you. Just in case if you were wondering,” Tony said as he nonchalantly dragged his finger across the countertop and peeked his head towards your tea,” aren’t you glad I made you learn CPR? I know it was part of your lifeguard course but I’m glad it came in handy.”

“ Too soon,” You sighed as you watched your dad haphazardly look through the cupboards,” and I wasn’t wondering about Peter. I’m just minding my own business and then I’m heading to bed.”

“ Minding your own business? That’s not the Y/N I know.”

“ Well, what would the Y/N you know do?” You asked as you looked down at the inside of your mug,” am I supposed to just run over to the roof and profess my love for him?”

Tony furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head,” I never said anything about love kiddo but the Y/N I know loves to talk so yeah, I expect some emotional reunion of the sort. You’ve always been known to be a bit theatrical.”

“ And who do you think I get that from?”

“ The one and only Potts,” Tony chuckled as a small smile crept onto your lips,” I don’t know what to say because I don’t think I can bring myself to give my daughter relationship advice about a guy who lives only a few doors down. If anything, it’s against my best interest but I will make this the one exception where I will intervene simply because if I don’t, no one else will. I think you should talk to Peter. He’s been through a lot and he has some things he needs to talk to you about.”

” Well he’s the one avoiding me so maybe he should come over and say it to my face,” You didn’t know why you turned so aggressive but you took a small sip of your tea to try and ease your nerves,” I know he’s been through a lot but we both have. That night of the party was just...too much for me. ”

“ You really are my daughter, always making it about you. You gotta give the kid a break.”

“ I- Dad it is all about me. That night fucking-not sorry- sucked and I don’t know what else to say. I jumped into a pool with my clothes on and I thought Peter was dead-”

“ But he’s not dead. He’s alive and breathing and waiting for you on the roof like I told you,” Tony interrupted as you exhaled slowly,” you love him, it’s a fathers worst nightmare but even I can see clear as day that you have feelings for him, are you going to tell me I’m wrong?”

You liked to think you knew yourself better than anyone else and for the most part, it was true. Tony was probably the closest to knowing who you really were as a person and yet, everything he was saying still wasn’t enough to make you less paranoid.

“ I wouldn’t say you’re wrong but I’m too scared to say out loud that you’re right,” You said as Tony rolled his eyes,” what? What did I say?”

“ You love to talk and yet, you never say enough. I don’t have the patience to stand here and listen to you beat around the bush,” Tony kneeled down towards one of the cupboards and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the shelf,” you have a problem. Let me know how things go with Peter. Or don’t. I’ll find out anyway.”

You stood there, mouth wide open as you watched Tony playfully bump into your shoulder, what a bastard,” Yeah sure! You’re the one drinking at three am but I’m the problem?”

Tony only gave you a hasty wave before turning the corner to where the elevators were, leaving you alone in the kitchen. He was right, everything he was saying made perfect sense and yet, it annoyed you on how right he was.

You had absolutely no idea how to start a conversation with Peter now that you were sure of your feelings and yet, all you wanted to do was find him and reveal everything to him. You looked between your bedroom door and the elevators. You could either go back to bed or you could talk to Peter and nervously choke on your words like a schoolgirl.

Fuck no.

You walked over to your room with your mug in one hand but before you could open the door, your legs started to move in the direction of the elevators, seemingly with a mind of their own.

Fuck it.

You stepped into the elevator and made your way up the floors until you hit the roof access. You hardly spent any of your time on the roof since you had no reason to ever be up there in the first place but once you opened the door, you were immediately taken aback.

The greenroof took up almost half of the roof itself, the addition being nothing more than a general garden area to look aesthetically pleasing from the sky. Since most of the energy needed to run the facility was either solar or space related, the greenroof was more of a private garden that didn’t account for energy efficiency.

A mixture of moss and summer grass covered the roof in a thick blanket that never grew beyond the border of the garden and at first glance, the brightly freckled flowers planted along the pathway seemed random but as you walked down the graveled path, you could tell that there was some element of planning that went along with it.

Along the pathway stood different hues of green bonsai trees that stood tall and proud in their wooden boxes. You were so focused on the bonsais that you didn’t notice Peter sitting on one of the benches about a couple of yards away.

Your breath hitched in your throat but your feet continued to crunch along the graveled pathway as you made your way over to him. From Peter’s spot underneath the patio, he could hear you walking towards him but kept his eyes looking straight forward, unable to tear them away from the cityscape in the far distance.

You hesitantly took a seat beside Peter on the wooden bench and tucked your legs back so you could rest the mug on your thigh. The lights that Peter had strung up a few weeks back had lost it’s brightness, leaving behind a faded orange glow in its place but it was just the right amount of light needed to where you could read his expression carefully.

“ How are you feeling?” You asked quietly as you attempted to get a feel for what mindset Peter was in.

“ Good, I feel good,” Peter said back, almost quieter than the volume you started out with,” how are you feeling?”

While both of your minds were racing at the thought of the other person, the thoughts suddenly felt almost too personal, the atmosphere being instantly filled with the conversations you two weren’t having.

Out of the two of you, Peter felt like he had more to share and yet, more to hide. You were still completely clueless on the following; A) Peter was cured B) You cured him because of the kiss and C) He loved you back

It seemed like a dream come true, Peter was still in love with you without the lovedust and you felt the same way towards him and yet, he was still terrified. As everything began to feel more and more real, suddenly the idea of being with you made his chest tighten up.

He never knew if he could ever admit it outloud but he was scared that you liked him back because what if after all this time, after all the trials and tribulation the two of you had gone through, what if you two still didn’t work out?

There was so much history between the two of you and he was worried that all of the heartbreak and pining wouldn’t be worth it in the end. He loved you so much to where he knew that he needed you no matter what. It only hurt him more to think that from your last argument, you couldn’t even bring yourself to admit to him that you loved him.

Now that you were here in front of him, Peter would make sure you wouldn’t leave without hearing you say it back.

As Peter tried to carefully put his thoughts in order like he had practiced, you thought back to what your dad had told you and decided that you needed to start somewhere and you had to do that by being honest.

“ I’ve been struggling these last couple of days with what happened at the party. I can’t tell how you guilty I feel for putting you through so much pain and I wish I could take it all back. I feel so guilty because it was my fault you died- did you know that? I know the paramedics talked to you but you were dead for three minutes Peter and honestly, that was one of the worst moments of my life. I mean it’s up there with what happened to my parents,” You paused as you remembered to take a breath,” I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you.”

Peter felt his mouth dry up and for a moment, it was hard to swallow,” You didn’t kill me, you saved me. I still feel like I might be in shock from it all but I don’t blame you for anything that happened. I’m sorry I even put you through that cause I’m sure it was...a lot. But don’t ever say that you killed me, none of it was your fault.”

“ It was my fault. If it wasn’t for me and Josh-,” You stopped yourself before saying more. You didn’t want to talk about Josh, all you cared about was Peter but now, the thought was evident in Peter’s mind and he couldn’t seem to shake it out of him.

The image of you kissing Josh replayed in Peter’s head over and over again as his heart ached. Josh made things more complicated than they already were.

Peter’s biggest fear was losing you but to lose you to another guy? And yet, it still made Peter feel like he was between a rock and a hard place because Peter had only meant Josh on one occasion and it was enough to give Peter an idea that Josh didn’t have cruel intentions towards you.

Just because you loved Peter didn’t mean that you didn’t have feelings for Josh and that’s what made Peter crazy. You must’ve liked Josh enough to return the kiss right?

“ He’s a good guy, I see why you like him,” Peter finally said as he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not knowing what else to say,” he would make you happy.”

The comment shakes you in an uncomfortable way, was that supposed to make you feel better? Your annoyance was jealousy in disguise, you didn’t want to talk about Josh, you were here to tell Peter how you actually felt about him but because of how Peter was delivering it, it seemed like he was giving you an out.

“ It’s not- I don’t like Josh like that.”

“ You kissed him, I saw the whole thing. Do you just go around kissing people you supposedly don’t like?” Peter couldn’t help himself and let the words slip out so easily.

It was a low blow and the two of you both knew it.

It took every fiber of your being not to lash out at the accusation because you knew Peter had a right to be upset but you didn’t like what he was insinuating and you didn’t want the conversation to take a bad turn,” You don’t have to worry about Josh anymore. If you want me to be honest, yes, I thought there was something there but things changed. I came to talk to you because my dad said you needed to tell me something important but if you’re going to just sit here and belittle me, I’m not gonna take it. I get it, the lovedust is messing with your emotions but I’m extremely sensitive tonight, more than usual so just come back to me when you’re calm.”

You got up from your seat with a quickness but before you could step off the patio, Peter grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards the corner of the bench.

Peter felt like such an idiot, whenever he got anxious on the fine details, he had a tendency to let the big picture escape him but it was something he knew he needed to work on while he was around you. He wasn’t going to let the conversation die just before it had started, he knew his big mouth tended to escalate conversations with you but he couldn’t let you go, not this time.

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m just frustrated because this feels so one-sided. I never know what you’re thinking because you never tell me anything. You always avoid answering the question but I need more,” Peter practically begged as you felt yourself get a bit aggravated,” I am being calm but I’m desperate at this point. I need to know how you feel about me, don’t try to change the subject, I need to know. Tell me how I make you feel.”

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth as you pulled your hand away from Peter so you could regain your thoughts without him distracting you. You were suddenly chickening out, you had never felt so nervous in your entire life and you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear but it wasn’t easy taking a step forward when you don't know where your foot will fall.

“ This is hard for me Peter, I’m trying my best and I’m sorry if it isn’t good enough but ever since the lovedust, the dynamic is different and you’ve changed. It’s so much to get used to because of...how I feel towards you,” You said as Peter let out a frustrated breath.

He hated this feeling of going back and forth, he didn’t want to hear any of it. All he wanted was to just shake your shoulders because in his mind, you had no reason to be hesitant on opening up to him,” The lovedust didn’t change just me, it changed you too! I was vulnerable and I opened up to you, I showed you how I felt about you every second of the day but you have given me nothing!”

Nothing.

That word made your blood boil because nothing? Just because it was hard for you to let your emotions out didn’t mean Peter was getting nothing back in return. Since he was infected with the lovedust, you had been doing your best to open yourself more to him and you thought you had been doing a good job.

After all those years of Peter belittling you and tearing you down, of course, you would be a bit hesitant to let down your guard and yet, you did it anyway. It took so much to get to where you were comfortable with Peter to be vulnerable, especially when you broke down from your nightmare of your parents.

To break down and crumble in front of Peter wasn’t an accident, you could only be that vulnerable if you knew that he could help piece you back together.

“ Nothing? I gave you nothing?” You spat as you felt your eyes tear up,” I saved your life! I gave you the breath in my lungs to stop you from dying! I don’t owe you anything, I don’t need to prove shit to you!”

Peter stood up from the bench and while his heart ached from seeing you so upset, he knew that he couldn’t hold back,” Don’t pull that with me Y/N, you know you haven’t been honest with me. We both know that we can’t live without the other so don’t act like you did me a favor by saving me. Why won’t you admit it, even after everything we’ve been through, you’re still scared to just admit that you might love me!”

And just like that, you felt yourself let go.

“Of course I’m scared! I’m fucking terrified Peter! Is that what you want me to say? Do you want me to admit that me almost losing you would’ve broken me? Because you’re right! Yes, I love you!” You cried out as you took in a shaky breath,” I love you so much it hurts me and I didn’t understand how badly I loved you until I almost lost you! All I could think about when I was trying to save you was never hearing your laugh and never feeling your touch and I swear Peter, if you died, I would’ve never forgiven myself. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but I love you. But none of it matters, you know why? Because you’re sick in the head, the lovedust is fucking with you and now it’s fucking with me!”

There it was, finally. After all of that time denying it and trying to hide your feelings to save your own sanity, you finally confessed. You had so many chances to confess that yes, it really was him all along.

When he came into your room and comforted you through your nightmare to the two of you shouting at each other in the rain, you had always loved him.

Even though Peter knew how you felt about him, this was the first time he heard it with his own ears and it was like hearing the symphony for the first time. Like your own soundtrack that swelled during the climax of the movie that was you and Peter, Peter could listen to you say it over and over again.

He didn’t care that most of your confession involved a string of swear words because, without them, it wouldn’t have been your true self. He knew once he admitted to you that he was cured, there would be no going back.

“ The lovedust is gone Y/N. When you kissed me- or saved me by giving mouth to mouth- the lovedust flushed out of my system completely. Banner did extra tests and he confirmed that I’m okay and back to normal all because of you.”

Your heart dropped to the floor as your eyes raked up Peter, testing to see if he was lying but he didn’t falter. This is what you were afraid of, confessing everything to him only to find out that he didn’t love you anymore but who would’ve thought it would be you to make him go back to normal.

And yet, a huge part of you was relieved because finally, the lovedust was gone. You didn’t need to worry about it ever screwing with you and Peter again but as you studied his expression, your chest felt heavy.

You had seemingly set up your own demise,” Oh, that’s good...I’m happy for you.”

You felt yourself take a step back but Peter reached his hand out to softly hold yours. You pulled your hand away but Peter swatted your stubbornness away and held your hand tighter. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles and when he looked back up at you, he felt his heart swell.

“ And yet, even though the pain is gone, I feel more love for you now than I have ever felt in my entire life. I understand what they mean when they say love hurts but if anything, it heals even more because you made me feel whole again. When you saved me and the first thing I saw was you looking back at me, it was like I was given a second chance to love you the right way, the way you were meant to be loved.”

“You were right, the lovedust made me fall in love with you but ever since you cured me, it was only a matter of admitting to myself that deep down, I’ve always cared about you. It opened my eyes and showed me that I will never have to look further in finding the one for me because you are everything and more,” Peter said as you moved your eyes from the floor to his figure,” I love you. I mean it. No exceptions, no strings attached, no lovedust required.”

Right then and there, you were at a loss for everything you could possibly hold; no words, no breath, no thoughts. Any resentment you held had shattered into microscopic pieces that would dissolve once crushed between something as delicate as your fingertips because he said everything you wanted to hear.

“ You love me?” You said quietly to where Peter made you repeat yourself,” Are you serious? Do you really mean it?”

Peter nodded and softly let out an ‘ of course I do’ as he brushed his fingers lightly over your cheek. He cupped your face gently with one hand as his thumb wiped away a stray tear,” Can I finally kiss you?”

Peter’s cheeks grew red as you nodded and leaned into his touch, innocently brushing your lips against his. Peter dipped his head down to close the space between the two of you and kissed you so softly, you had to pull him closer to you to actually kiss him back.

Even though Peter was the one who asked, he felt completely unprepared kissing you back. He had imagined over and over how warm your lips would be against his but now that he was actually kissing you, he didn’t think he had enough self-control to ever stop kissing you.

You never knew a kiss could be innocent and yet so intimate but as his lips moved in perfect sync, any other logistics of the feeling went away because all you could think about was Peter. You practically melted into his touch but before you could savor the kiss, Peter pulled away breathless.

“ S-Sorry, I forgot to breathe,” Peter gushed as you smiled back up at him,” what does this mean for us now?”

You traced your finger along Peter’s wrist as you thought quietly,” I don’t know but we can figure it out together.”

Peter hummed happily before dipping his head down to kiss you and when he pulled away, he fell himself falling in love with you all over again.

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hoodharlow · 3 years

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“Pa’que Pare de Chingar”

El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 3

AN: Part 3 is HErEEEEEE!!! I apologize for not posting this yesterday. Hope y’all enjoy bc in un ratito Part 4 will be out.

Warnings: smut, brief mention of weed and brief mention of birth control

requested? nope

Word Count:

Calum leaned back in his seat and scrolled through Twitter while he waited for Claudia to get her birth control pills from the pharmacy. He was still pissed at the lady with the rat.

Mrs. Garner, the neighbor whose dog bit Damian, ended up leaking a video of him and Claudia making out in the Santos driveway as a way to get back at them for reporting her dog. It was more of a compilation of them dating back to the summer before to just a few weeks ago when they got back from walking Duke and Panchito. It created an uproar.

Fans were confused and surprised that Calum and Claudia have been together the whole time. Others were angry at the neighbor for invading their privacy. The paparazzi set up camp in the neighborhood in hopes of getting pictures of the couple since Mrs. Garner had also leaked their address. For the sake of Claudia's family and their privacy and safety, Calum and Claudia went back to Calum's house in L.A. where the neighborhood was more private.

Soon enough, Mrs. Garner got a taste of her medicine when Calum's fans found out she had a wine shop and flooded Yelp and Google with negative reviews. To think she did all of that because her dog bit a little kid.

He closed the app and replied to Ashton's text confirming the time he and his team were going over for the album photoshoot. Calum still couldn't believe that Ashton wrote and produced his own album in such little time. Nonetheless he was proud of him. Ashton is someone he admired purely based on his ambition and talent.

There was a soft knock on the passenger side of the window. Claudia waved at Calum and motioned that the door was locked.

"Shit," He cursed. He reached over and opened the door for her. "Sorry."

"It's okay." She said smoothing out the bed sheet before sitting on it.

It was well into June, making the weather be over 80° which was not a good mix with the car's leather seats and Claudia's short shorts and rompers. Not to mention she sweated an embarrassing amount through her ass.

"I'm hungry. Can we get breakfast burritos before going to Target?" Claudia asked him.

"Of course. San Miguel's?" Calum suggested. It's been months since they went to their go-to Mexican food place at Long Beach.

"Yes. Let me order it through postmates so we can just pick them up."

She pulled out the paper bag containing her birth control and hid it behind her back while she tore apart her purse to get her phone. She felt one of Calum's cool hands on her back, pulling out the paper bag.

"Why are you hiding your birth control like it's a bad thing? I know you're on it." he asked.

"Because." she said, taking the bag and shoving it deep in her purse.

"Because why?"

"It's weird." she giggled nervously. She pulled back her hair into a bun. "Like I've never been at this personal level with any of my exes. Not that it's a bad thing, I'm just still, like, getting used to it."

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

"Did I make it awkward?” Calum asked her, intertwining their fingers together.

“A little, but it’s okay. I don’t want you to overthink this. I’m just getting used to this, you did nothing wrong.”

Claudia leaned over and kissed his cheek. She pulled out her phone and opened Postmates. “Do you want your breakfast bowl hash browns or tater tots?”

“Tater tots please.”

The rest of the drive to San Miguel’s was pleasant. They got into some traffic, but luckily Calum and Claudia were both in good moods, resulting in Calum playing Jose Alfredo Jimenez and Natalia Lafourcade along with other Mexican groups. A few weeks ago, Diego introduced him to them when they both got high and decided to listen to Mariachi music. It was the most they bonded since Calum and Claudia started dating.

Pepe Aguilar faded into the background as Calum lowered the volume. He glanced over at Claudia, she was looking out the window, letting the sunrays dance on her face.

“Hey Claudia?” Calum asked, getting her attention.

“Yeah?” She answered him, pulling herself away from the window.

“I know I shouldn’t be asking you this, but if you’re comfortable, what was your other ex like?” He shifted in his seat awkwardly, not knowing how Claudia was going to respond.

He knew it was one of those wildcard questions. She would either answer him, or go off telling him that the past is the past. But after her comment about her exes, he just had to know. All he knew about the guy was that he played football and was a year older than her.

“Isaiah was a sweetheart. I met him through his sisters. We got close because I defended them when they got made fun of for liking One Direction, they even showed me some of Luke’s covers too. Anyways, we would always hang out at my place so I never met their brother until the first day of school where we were the only underclassmen in our AP Stats class. After that we became really good friends. We became a thing after he asked me to homecoming. Our relationship was pretty much stagnant. We didn’t do anything like sex wise. He was really respectful about that too and always kept the football team in check about that.

This one guy from the football team started a rumor that he hooked up with a girl from the dance team and Isaiah called him out. Like overall he was a good guy. So when he graduated, we decided to just stay friends. We didn’t see each other until my senior prom where he was my date because a certain bass player didn’t go to prom with me after he said yes and I reached my goal of ten thousand retweets.”

“That was you?” Calum yelled. “I felt so bad. We had like a two week break, but a day after our show in Dublin my appendix ruptured and was bed ridden until our break ended. I guess that could explain why you didn’t give me a slice of chocoflan when I went.”

“Damn, I thought your team was just BSing and didn’t want to go. I was really sad and sold my tickets out of spite.” Claudia mumbled to herself.

“I have the corsage somewhere in my room, actually.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I can give it too with one condition.”

“What is it?”

“You slow dance with me.”

***

It happened so fast. Claudia was hanging up some shirts she tie-dyed to air dry while Calum watched in the comfort of their new lounge chair. It had a dark wood foundation with a comfy and waterproof mattress on top. A comment about Claudia's peeking out of her silk romper led to one about how they haven't christened the chair. A few teasing touches later, Calum dropped his slutty shorts. It was a term coined by Claudia after Calum accidentally bought some RVCA shorts that were closer to his crotch than his knees.

Claudia leaned down and captured his lips. She got off the lounge chair, taking her time removing her silk romper. Then she slowly crawled back to Calum. He lifted his bucket hat covered head and leaned up to kiss her once more. He laid back down before pushing back his hat to get a better view of Claudia.

She coated Calum’s cock with her arousal then she slowly slid down his length. Her hands rested on his tummy and Calum placed his hands on her waist, and slowly guided her. Claudia rocked her hips back and forth. She closed her eyes, gasping at the feeling of him all the way inside her.

"Just like that pretty girl,” Calum moaned out.

She opened her eyes and found him staring into hers. Without breaking eye contact she rolled her hips a bit slower, bucking his hips up into her. She moaned as he groaned in pleasure.

"Calum,” Claudia whimpered.

He sat up as Claudia wrapped her arms around his shoulders while he held her in his arms. She slowly continued to roll herself against him and Calum let out an incoherent moan in her ear.

Claudia rested her head against his shoulder. “Hey,” Calum said softly. “Eyes on me."

She lifted her head to look at him. His eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes and a huge smile formed on his lips. Calum captured her lips. Claudia halted her movements and solely focused his mouth. She held onto his face with both hands, deepening their kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, Calum pushed Claudia onto her back. Pushing her legs to her chest, he slowly thrusted into her with slightly rough precision. He halted his movements thinking Duke must have gotten out, and looked up.

“Ash?”

“Ashton? I know—”

“Get dressed, Ash and Ryan are here.” He whispered, pulling up his shorts. He tossed her romper and awkwardly stood in front of the chair as she got dressed.

“Are you two seriously fucking?” Ashton yelled from the other side of the pool. “I liked napping in that lounge chair, now you ruined it.”

“Well I liked fucking my boyfriend in this lounge chair, now you ruined that.” Claudia yelled back in the same tone as him.

She leaned into Calum and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna make some cookies and stuff.”

She waved at Ryan and flipped Ashton off as she passed them to get to the kitchen. She poured some macadamia nuts on a comal and let them toast on a low heat while she prepped the cookie batter. She was making white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies with spinach. She saw the recipe on Fetch with Ruff Ruffman when she was in elementary school and since then it became her go-to recipe for white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies. She also liked making them to spite Ashton because he always said her cookies weren't the healthiest. Now he couldn't say anything since she put a bag of spinach in it.

The macadamia nuts finished toasting in time for them to get folded into the cookie dough along with the chocolate chips and spinach. She placed them in the oven and cleaned up while they baked. Remembering she still had some doggie dough, she also placed them in the oven. She then prepared some agua de jamaica with some jamaica leaves that she let soak overnight.

Claudia heard Duke’s barks by the front door. She went over and saw the delivery person walking back to their truck. She motioned Duke to back up so she could open the door to get the package. It was her monthly Savage×Fenty package. She took the box up to their room, thinking of ways to tease. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the kitchen timer go off.

Duke was excitedly wagging his tail in front of the oven, waiting for her to get out the treats she made. He backed away and watched her get out the baking trays.

“En un ratito okay? They’re still hot.” Claudia told him.

Once they cookies and treats cooled off she placed them on plates. She placed the pitcher of agua de jamaica and the cookie plate on a tray and took it outside for the guys. Calum helped her carry it.

“Did you make your spinach cookies to spite Ashton?” He asked her.

“Yeah, pa’que pare de chingar.” She smiled to herself. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. “Also, I got a package, so make sure no one touches your phone in the next hour or so, unless they want to see my ass.”

Taglist: @f-mu @another-lonely-heart @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021 @calumscalm @karajaynetoday @cherryxwildflower @myloverboyash @idontneedanyone @findingliam-o @5-secondsofcolor @spicylftv @sexgodashton @fckingpernico @2fangirl4u @calpops

#calum hood smut #calum hood fluff #calum hood one shot #Calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood series #calum hood oneshot #calum hood oneshots #calum hood imagines #calum hood fanfiction #el novio series #el novio quarantine edition

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Life’s Lessons - Part 1

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Settling In

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 3,362

Part Summary: Y/N settles into her new house, in a new town. Right off the bat, she meets her gorgeous neighbor, finding an instant connection with him. As she goes to work on Monday, she starts to think that she could get used to Lawrence, Kansas.

Warnings: some swearing, first day of work nerves, Dean being cute (yes, that’s a warning lol)

Music: Lookin’ Out My Back Door, I Heard It Through the Grapevine by Creedence Clearwater Revival (Setting up the house scene).

A/N: The first part is here! I’m so excited for you all to read it! Please let me know what you think, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and feedback! P.S. I have a full playlist for this series coming soon, just finalising some selections! Happy reading and I hope you guys like it! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Y/N leaned against her car, a content smile on her face as she looked up at the house that she was about to call her new home.

The house was clean white, with a grey tiled roof. White wood railings encased the front porch, that had a porch swing in front of one of the windows. The front yard was freshly mowed, with the flower beds on either side of the porch steps. It was a modest, two-bedroom house, with not a whole lot of backyard space, but it was the most rent she could afford with her previous salary. It didn’t matter though; you could make a house a home no matter how big or small it was. Her job as a teacher wasn’t just rewarding when the kids did well, but it was able to put a roof over her head, and that was all she could ask for.

Y/N started with her bags before she opened the large U-Haul trailer attached to her car, and started taking out the boxes. It had been a long journey from Rhinebeck, New York, stopping off overnight in Ohio and then Missouri, but she made it to Lawrence, Kansas that morning, giving her enough time to start unloading her things. Considering it was just her, she knew it was going to take some time, but she was hoping to finish by lunch time so she could explore the town a little.

Luckily for her, complicated things to move like a couch and a bed, weren’t things that she had brought with her. Those things were reminders of what she had done on them with her ex-boyfriend and the last thing she needed in her new house were memories of him. He was the reason she had searched for teaching jobs outside of New York, and luckily, she got the furthest one. She missed her family already, but she needed to get as far away from the memories of him as possible.

Moving her bags and the boxes from the trailer had been the easiest part. It was moving the furniture – dining table and chairs, armchairs, record player, coffee table and two bookshelves – that was going to be the hard task on her own. She started with what she could do on her own, moving all the dining chairs into the house. When she got back to the trailer, she sighed heavily. There were too many things to move.

Y/N stepped into the trailer and started to shift one of the armchairs but growled in frustration as it got stuck on the edge. She couldn’t get the right hold on it to get it off the edge, her legs shaking as she tried to keep it steady.

“Whoa, hey. Let me help you with that” a male voice said behind her. She didn’t turn to see him yet, but watched as he grabbed the other end of the armchair and helped her put it down on the pavement.

“Thanks” she smiled, relieved.

“No problem” he said as he turned to face her.

She almost wished he hadn’t because now her legs were shaking more than they were when she couldn’t hold the damn chair. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, handsome but incredibly hot at the same time. The black and white plaid shirt he was wearing was tight across his arms, and she couldn’t help but get lost in his gorgeous green eyes and sinfully pouty lips.

She smiled politely, keeping the thoughts she was having suddenly, at bay. “No, really, thanks so much. I probably would’ve ended up trapped under this chair if you hadn’t stepped in.”

He laughed, laughter lines appearing near his mouth and crinkles around his eyes. “Well, I would’ve hated to see that happen.”

She smiled, not knowing what else to say to him. This was the first time she had ever been this flustered with a man. The sound of his laugh and the way those lines appeared around the creases of his eyes made her heart flutter.

“Can I help you with rest? I mean, I gotta get to work but I can be a little late” he asked, as he looked between the chair and the rest of her stuff.

She looked at the rest of the things and frowned. “You sure? I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”

“I’m positive. Helps to be the boss, so…” he smirked, as he shrugged.

She nodded, impressed. “What do you do?”

“I’m a mechanic, I own the auto shop on Main street. Winchester’s. I’m Dean, by the way” he said, as he offered his hand.

She took his hand in hers and tried to ignore the spark she felt radiate through her when their skin touched. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Good to meet ya, Y/N” he smiled.

When she smiled in return, Dean was completely floored by her. She was beautiful; dressed in loose boyfriend jeans, a white t-shirt, red converse sneakers and a red bandana around her head with her hair in a messy bun. She really had the girl next door vibe going on. That was dangerous with the situation he was in, so he had to tread lightly. When he saw her from across the street, he was reluctant to help because one look at her, even from a distance and he knew he was in trouble. His mother raised him to be a gentleman though, so he couldn’t hesitate to help a person in need.

With Dean’s help, moving the furniture she did have into the house only took about 20 minutes. She was incredibly thankful for him helping and hoped that it wouldn’t have been too forward to ask if he wanted to grab dinner with her, that night. She straightened out the medium sized, round dining table and chairs with Dean, and sighed in relief once it was done. Her furniture was now in place in all the appropriate rooms. She had to unpack now, which was almost harder than this, but at least she could take her time with it.

Dean looked around her house and nodded, noticing how many boxes had “BOOKS” written on them in black marker. He had only been in this house twice, when the previous owners still lived there before they moved to be closer to their children.

“Big reader?” he gestured towards the boxes.

“Definitely, but I’m a teacher too, so it’s an abundance of books” she laughed, as she looked at them. “It’s a little ridiculous, really.”

Dean laughed quietly to himself, trying to get the teacher fantasies out of his head. She really had to be a teacher.

“Well, I should head out” he said, as he made his way to the door.

She followed behind him and leaned against the doorway. “Thanks for the chivalry.”

“You’re welcome. I guess it’s not dead, after all” he smirked.

She laughed; it felt like the millionth time in the last 20 minutes. He was carefree and had made the tedious process so much easier with his humour.

“I’ll see ya around, Y/N” Dean said, shoving his hands into his pockets as he turned away from her.

“Thanks again” she called out.

Dean walked down the porch steps and turned back. He gave her wink before he walked across the street. She sighed to herself as she watched him walk away, his dark blue jeans doing wonders for his behind, though the black and white plaid was hiding his back from the looseness. She thought against asking him for dinner just yet, at least not on her first day in town. She would give it a couple of weeks, enough time for her to settle into her new job and into the town.

Y/N closed the door and walked back into the main room. Looking at the boxes, she knew it was better to return the trailer to the Lawrence location and then explore the town a little. Get some lunch, do a little grocery shopping. She picked up her bag and keys, heading out of her new house. She would start on the boxes when she got back.

Before she got in the car, she fired off a quick message to her family, telling them she had gotten there safely. It had been text after text and call after call asking if she was okay when she left Rhineback to drive to Lawrence. She reassured her family that all was well, and then drove into town.

The next day, Y/N was thankful that it was a Saturday. It would give her some more time to set up the house but also start getting ready for the first day of school on Monday. She was nervous about meeting the staff and the students, but she was excited about the new experience. She had walked through town the day before, grabbed the essentials like bedsheets and towels, plus some grocery items for the immediate need. She was already beginning to like Lawrence.

The first thing she did was set up the record player her dad had given to her. Once everything was plugged in where it was supposed to be, she put on one of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s records. She bopped her head along to Lookin’ Out My Back Door as she started to unpack the other records, before starting on the other boxes.

About 15 minutes later, as I Heard It Through The Grapevine played, she stood on the front porch, watching her furniture delivery unload from the truck. Before she even got to Lawrence, she had bought a new bed frame and mattress, couch, office desk and chair online, and thank goodness the place had Saturday delivery. She had made a makeshift bed out her new sheets and pillows last night, and with the way her back clicked and cracked into place when she woke up that morning, she was incredibly fortunate that her new bed was here.

She followed them inside and instructed the delivery guys on where to put the items. As she was helping them, she heard a loud knock on the open door. She turned around and saw a woman, maybe her age or a few years older, standing at the door. Next to her, stood a young boy, probably about 13 years old. Y/N smiled as she walked to the door, seeing a plate of something in the woman’s hands.

“Hi, we saw you moving in and wanted to welcome you. I’m Lisa Braeden, and this is my son, Ben” she introduced themselves, with a bright smile.

Y/N shook her hand and smiled in return. “It’s great to meet you, guys. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“These are for you, I hope you like chocolate chip” Lisa said, handing her the plate of cookies.

“Maybe a little too much” Y/N laughed. “Thanks.”

“Listen, if there’s anything you need, we’re right across the street” Lisa gestured behind her to the house across the street.

Y/N nodded as she looked at the place. It had darker features, but the lawn was equally maintained. “I appreciate that.”

“So, Ben. What grade are you in?” Y/N asked, wanting to engage with Ben a little, who looked quite bored.

“I’m starting 8th on Monday” he mumbled.

Y/N smiled, looking between him and Lisa. “Well, I’m starting work on Monday. Maybe I’ll have you in my English class.”

“Cool.” Ben didn’t seem to care. “Nice choice” he said, gesturing to where the music was coming from before he turned away, walking to the porch stairs and waiting for Lisa.

Lisa looked at him with a “we’ll talk later” look, before she turned to Y/N. “He shouldn’t give you too much trouble, but if he does, you know where I am.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine” Y/N shook her head.

“Anyway, we should go. Welcome to the neighborhood” Lisa said, smiling again.

“Thanks” Y/N smiled.

She watched as Lisa and Ben walked across the street, clearly waiting to be behind closed doors before she talked to him about what just happened. Hopefully she wasn’t too harsh on him; no kid would want to meet their new teacher outside of a school setting. Y/N walked inside the house and saw that the delivery guys were done. She signed off on the delivery and the guys left. She picked up one of the boxes still in her living room and walked to the second bedroom she was using as an office. She was excited to set it up and get started on some work for Monday.

Y/N sat in her car in the parking lot of the school. She had gotten there a little early, just trying to calm herself down before going in to meet the principal. She had spoken to him for her phone interview and again when she got the job, so she was familiar with him. He seemed like a nice man and she just hoped that the rest of the staff were the same way. She was more nervous about the students. Moving schools wasn’t just hard as a kid.

She checked her make-up in the mirror and then got out of the car, walking towards the entrance. She fixed her white top and smoothed down her brown skirt, thankful that she had chosen brown sandals with a small heel instead of something higher. She didn’t need anything to go wrong today. Once inside, she walked over to the administration office, as guided by the signs. At the very first desk, sat a red-headed woman, the name plate on her desk reading: Anna Milton – Receptionist.

When Y/N approached her desk, she looked up from her computer and smiled.

“Hello, how can I help you?” she asked.

“Uh, hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m starting here today and need to meet Mr. Shurley first” Y/N replied, trying her best to keep her nerves at bay.

“Oh of course” she picked up the phone and pressed a number.

Y/N waited a minute or so before a short man with greying hair and a beard, walked out of an office at the back of the room. He saw her and smiled, extending his hand as he approached her.

“Miss Y/L/N, wonderful to meet you” he said, shaking her hand.

“You too, Mr. Shurley” she smiled, as confidently as she could.

“Alright, let me show you around before your first class” he walked ahead of her, not leaving her too far behind.

It took Chuck, as he insisted on being called by his first name when it was a one-on-one basis, a few minutes to show her around the main parts of the school; the staff room, the library, the gym and the cafeteria. After that, he took her to the classroom she’d be using, just before the students came in. They watched as they came in, sitting down at their desks. Ben walked in and she smiled at him, but just received a little twitch of his face back. They all looked scared to see the principal in the room.

“Class, I’d like you meet Miss Y/L/N. Your new English teacher. So, make her feel welcome” he said to them in a commanding voice, before he turned to her. “If any of them give you any trouble, just send them down to my office.”

“I’m sure I won’t need to” Y/N looked between him and the students.

“Alright, take it away” he smiled before he left the room.

As soon as he was gone, the class erupted into loud voices as they began chatting away. Y/N sat on the edge of her desk, her legs and arms crossed as she waited, patiently. She would give them a few seconds before she got their attention. Before she could do that however, Ben looked at her and then at the rest of his classmates.

“Guys” he called out. The noise level didn’t go down.

“Last one to be quiet has to tell their next teacher why they were late” she called out.

The noise level dropped instantly.

Y/N smiled, happy that worked. “Alright. As Mr. Shurley said, I’m Miss Y/L/N. We’re going to start off with the role. As I call out your names, you’re going to tell me what you read over the summer and a short answer about what you liked or didn’t like about it.”

For majority of the class, things went well. Most of the students were well behaved except for one group of three boys who kept talking and disrupting the others around them. They were rude and weren’t listening to her when she asked them to stop several times. She would have to keep an eye on them. To say that her first lesson had been difficult would be an understatement, but she got through it. That’s what mattered.

Y/N had a break in which prepared for her class with the 7th graders. They were a breath of fresh air and exactly what she needed after the previous class. They were much more engaged and a lot softer spoken, so while she would have to get them out of their shells a little bit, they were pretty well behaved.

At lunch, Chuck introduced her to a few more of the teachers. She shook hands with everyone and engaged in conversation. The usual chatter about where she was from and how she got into teaching. As she sat down to eat, she looked over some of her messages. She smiled as she saw one from her sister, sending off a quick reply to tell her she was doing okay.

“Mind if I join you?” a voice asked.

She looked up to see a man with brown short hair and blue eyes smiling at her. He was adorable, looking cute in his white shirt with rolled sleeves, black pants and blue tie to match his eyes.

She smiled in return and nodded. “Sure, of course.”

He sat down across from her with his lunch. “I’m Castiel Novak, history teacher. Everyone calls me Cas, though.”

He offered up his hand and she shook it. “It’s great to meet you.”

Just as he was about to say something, a red-headed woman, not Anna, walked over. “Hey, you must be the new English teacher, I’m Charlie.”

“I’m Y/N” she said, shaking her hand.

“Charlie teaches Math but she’s a computer whiz too. Helps out the I.T. guys every now and then” Cas told her as Charlie settled into the seat next to him.

Y/N smiled approvingly. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

“Thanks. They ask me because I think they secretly know I’m better at it than them. I was in the corporate line for a while, but then I moved back home to help my mom” Charlie explained, between bites of her salad.

Y/N liked her already, her nerdy vibe with colourful plaid shirt and band t-shirt suiting her chirpy personality. Cas was a little quiet, but there was a calm presence to him. Though she had no doubt he had the ability to get kids to listen to him straight away.

“Yeah, we’re all glad she came back and stuck around” Cas smiled at her.

When she smiled in return, Y/N had to ask. “So, you two…?”

They both laughed as they looked at each other and then back at Y/N.

“No, we’ve just been friends for a really long time. I have a girlfriend, Meg. She’s a nurse at Lawrence General. She’s tougher than nails and I don’t know how I got her” Cas replied, laughing slightly.

“Yeah, and I’ve just started dating a few weeks ago. Her name’s Dorothy and she’s a writer for the Kansas City Times. She’s really cool” Charlie smiled softly.

Y/N nodded, understanding. “They both sound amazing. I can’t wait to meet them some time.”

They continued talking over lunch and Y/N couldn’t have been happier to have met them. They were both incredibly kind and lovely people, and she was really starting to get along with them.

As lunch finished and they went their separate ways, Y/N smiled as she walked to her next class.

Hopefully moving to Lawrence, Kansas was going to be the best decision she’d ever made.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

249 notes · View notes

taetaespeaches · 4 years

Text

“I don’t know where we go from here, Dear.”

jimin x reader (or oc) genre: fluff; angst word count: 1.8K

a/n: the time has come... JIMIN IS GETTING HIS GIRL BACK!!! This is the first time they see each other after he shows up at Dear’s place in, “Yeah, I’m drunk. And you’re wearing my t-shirt and I fucking love you.” So yeah, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!!!

p.s. This is sorta kinda inspired by “Until the Sun Comes Up” by Gabrielle Aplin. So yeah, do with that what you will.

YOUR hand was nearly shaking as you adjusted your seatbelt across your body. The last time you saw Jimin was a week ago when he came to apartment looking for a way to go back in time. When he asked to see you, you expected a simple dinner date or a walk along the Han River, but you had been sitting in the car for over thirty minutes now and the city was beginning to disappear behind you.

“I haven’t been this nervous since our first date,” Jimin admitted shyly, you looking across the cab at him. “Or that whole time between, you know, our first time and first date.”

You couldn’t help the grin that formed on your lips at his admission as well as the memory of how shy he was for those two days between the first hook up and first date. You were both nervous, but he was more obviously so. At least for a little while.

You went from friends to lovers overnight. It was hard to even remember what you and Jimin looked like before the extra label was added to your relationship. It was even harder to comprehend what you looked like now.

“I was nervous too,” you told him, Jimin taking a quick glance from the road to you, obviously surprised. “And now.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” you smiled. “I just hide it better.” You hid a lot of things better. Your love and your heartbreak for starters.

A tense quiet settled inside the car, the low hum of Jimin’s music buzzing throughout the cab. You let the silence persist as you turned your attention to the window as Jimin drove you both to an unknown destination.

It was a little over a month ago that Jimin broke up with you over a text. It was so unlike Jimin it scared you into action before you could even take in the purpose of the text. You desperately called him but every effort went to voicemail. After a text to Taehyung to have him check on your boyfriend, and Tae assuring you he was ok considering the circumstance, you got angry. And you refused to speak to the man until he showed up at your apartment drunk, sad, regretful, and desperate.

For weeks you wanted to blame him for the whole thing. But you knew you were to blame as well. You had been pushing him away for months before the breakup, letting your own personal struggles affect your relationship. You didn’t want to push him away, but how do you simply let another person into the fucked up hell space that is your mind? You had never before wanted a person so badly during those months as you wanted Jimin, but it was like you couldn’t, or wouldn’t, allow yourself to reach out for him. And that made him feel very insecure and unsure. He felt unloved.

As Jimin drove further and further from Seoul, completely losing the city skyline, you turned to him in confusion.

“Where are we going?” You asked, turning to look at him.

“Away,” he grinned cheekily.

You let a small chuckle slip as you looked at the road ahead of you. “Away where?”

“Away from ourselves.”

You looked back at him in response to his words. You scrutinized his face as he stared ahead, eyes focused on the road but his mind wandering through a million loud thoughts. “There you are being a poet again,” you teased, Jimin’s lips quirking into an amused smile.

You slowly looked away from him, staring ahead, waiting to see the final destination for your date or whatever it’s called when your ex-boyfriend/best friend takes you out of the city in his bid to win you back.

Several minutes passed in silence before Jimin called to you gently, “Dear?”

You hummed, looking over at him, the pet name sounding so natural coming from him.

“Do you think people have to be ok before they can give themselves to someone else?”

The question should have taken you by surprise but you knew Jimin well enough to know he often had these deeply personal and sometimes troublesome questions swimming around his mind.

You thought for a moment before shaking your head. “No,” you started, Jimin looking from the road just for a small moment to peer at your face. “I’ve started thinking lately that if you’re lucky enough to have someone and its real, you have to give yourself to them even if you’re not ok.”

He forced a small smile though his eyes became glassy in the dashboard light. “I’m not ok.”

You nodded in understanding, keeping your gaze on him as his face became less clear through the tears that gathered along your lower eyelid. “Yeah, me too.” He looked over at you to see you beginning to cry and his face scrunched up as his own tears increased. “Jimin,” you whimpered.

When he sniffled you reached out to touch his forearm. “I fucked up, I kept pushing you away—”

He adamantly shook his head, telling you, “no, no, this is on me—”

“No, you needed me. And Jimin, I needed you, fuck, I wanted you, I just couldn’t—”

When a sob wracked through your body into the otherwise quiet car, Jimin quickly pulled over to the side of the road as an oncoming car sped by you.

“Dear,” he started, turning to you and pulling your hands from your face where you were wiping tears, simply holding them. “I broke up with you over a text.” He didn’t say anything more, letting his words sink in as proof to why the whole situation was his fault. You both knew he wasn’t the only one to blame, but at this point, did it even matter?

“Why did you send the text?” You asked him through your tears.

“I don’t—I don’t even know, baby, it’s—I get so insecure sometimes and I was driving myself insane on tour thinking about you and whether you love me and I just—I get so scared sometimes that you’ll just walk away.”

“I could never just walk away,” you told him defensively, but also to assure him. “I hate that I made you feel so insecure and unloved because I just love you more than anything and I should have been pouring all of that love into you.” Tears fell down Jimin’s face at your words as his hands squeezed yours tighter. “It’s going to take a while for me to forgive myself for that. A lot longer than it’s gonna take for me to forgive you.”

“Can you forgive me?” He posed, looking into your glistening eyes with his own.

“You know I can,” you whispered. “But can you forgive me?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his eyes scanned your face. Then he brought your hand to his lips and feathered kisses to your knuckles. “I already have,” he mumbled against your hand.

Fresh tears burst from your eyes at his confession, Jimin gently placing your hands on the console just before they met your face, gently wiping your cheeks with his palms. You leaned into his touch, bringing your hands to grab his wrists.

“I don’t know where we go from here, Dear,” he softly admitted. “But you were my best friend before all the extra and I’m not giving up on us.” He paused for a moment, both of you watching each other carefully. “Even if you want to go back to just friends.”

You scoffed at the statement, Jimin pulling his eyebrows together in confusion to the sound. “Chim, we were never just friends. I don’t want to go back, I want to fix this.”

Jimin let a small smile greet his lips, the sight making you return a small one of your own. You leaned forward, dropping your head to his shoulder as his arm wrapped around your upper back, his hand finding your tricep. His palm and fingers soothed over the muscle as he told you, “We should probably get back on the road, we still have like an hour until we get there.”

“Jesus, did Taehyung show you some spot out here or something?” You asked, though you didn’t dare lift your head to look at him, afraid of losing his touch.

Jimin giggled. “Yeah, he did actually.” You fell into laughter, Jimin laughing with you as he shifted his position, his hand finding your chin and directing you to sit up and look at him.

“I don’t want to drive anymore, I just want to be here with you,” you told him and his thumb gently ran along your jaw. “Wherever we are right now, I just want to exist here with you and lose ourselves or whatever you said earlier in your poetry recital.”

He flashed you a stunning smile and nodded. “Ok, but,” he started, craning his body to reach for something in the backseat, “do you still,” he sat back in his seat holding a couple of long thin plastic packages up for you to see, “want to play with these?”

You reached for the packages in realization. “Oh my god,” you giggled, inspecting the sparklers. “Of course I do.”

Within a matter of seconds, you and Jimin were out in the cool air as Jimin used a lighter to ignite the ends of your sparklers. As they fizzled with sparks, you both backed away and began waving them around.

You were spinning and laughing as Jimin giggled and drew shapes. Several cars drove past but neither of you took notice. He gave several attempts to spell your name before the sparks faded out, but he could never complete the word in time, letting out yells of playful frustration.

It felt like a dream, and he was burning so brightly in the night air, carefree for the first time in months. He was beautiful.

By the time the sparklers burned out, you were both breathless, standing a few feet from one another, staring at each other. He walked toward you and when he was close enough, you gripped the material of his shirt and pulled him to you. Wrapping your arms around his waist, his secured themselves around the back of your head.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, but it was the closest you felt to him in months, and him you, and neither of you wanted to let go of that. Only time would tell how long it would take for things to feel normal, or whether normal was even a possibility. Maybe a new normal was in the making.

All you were certain of was you were willing to travel through the unknown, as long as he was by your side. And you weren’t letting go of the night. Not until the sun came up.

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chaerrie-on-top · 3 years

Text

two

tick... tick... tick...

mina let out a deep sigh, shifting from lying on her back to now her side. her focus trained on the clock hanging on the wall beside the bed; it's steady, monotonous tick was this weird mix of soothing and irritating. it provided some decent white noise, but also only provoked mina further as it reminded her of the time passing by where she was unable to fall back asleep.

she had gone to bed that night at around midnight but woke up later at around 3:50. currently it was 4:35; nearly an hour she had spent staring at the wall and tv to lull herself back to sleep. anyway, she had woken up from a bad dream. her mind replayed the events of last night's fight with her boyfriend (soon-to-be ex). even in her sleep, the events unfolded over and over again.

"god," mina muttered as she reached over and picked her phone up. she squinted under the bright light, glaring at the text messages and missed call notifications from him. "i hate you."

they fought often but this one was different. he had taken it too far; shoved her around the apartment, screamed directly in her face, and, sadly, hit her. even when she cried and begged the fighting to stop, he didn't stop. mina hated him right now. or, well, she wanted to hate him. a part of her still cared about him and wanted things to work out between them.

after a few minutes of staring at the words on her phone, she got up and ventured out through the dark apartment. passing through the living room, she ended up in the kitchen where she fished a water bottle out from the fridge. she drank half of it in fast gulps, the cold water cooling her warm body off.

mina put it back into the fridge and wandered over to the grand window overlooking the city of seoul. taehyung had gotten himself a nice apartment, mina thought. she knew he was a fighter— an underground boxer of some sorts— but she never knew the extent of his job

"damn," she muttered, admiring the marble flooring and beautiful view. "he must be good."

she'd actually never seen him fight, even though he's been in the industry for years now. anyway, she searched through the city below, imagining she could find the apartment she shared with hyunjin. well, she kinda shared it. these days it's like he owned it and she simply just lived there.

in the beginning they had both worked to afford to live there together. but as months of dating turned into years, hyunjin thought it would be best for him to be the sole money-maker of the household. she wasn't allowed to work or have friends (or really do anything).

mina brought her hand to the glass, tracing her fingertip along it. later today she'd have to go get her beloved cat who she had left at home when she rushed to pack a quick overnight bag. she felt sorry for leaving the poor thing with that asshole.

"what are you doing up?"

mina jumped, gasping out loud as she whirled around and was met with the dark figure standing behind her. "jesus christ, tae," she groaned. "did you have to sneak up on me like that?"

"sorry," he shrugged. "what's up?"

"nothing, just couldn't sleep," mina told him. she quickly remembered what she had been thinking about just a few seconds before. "hey, i um... is there anyway my cat could stay here too?"

"a cat?" taehyung would chortle. "mina-"

"please, tae. just for a few days. i still need to call mom and dad to see if they'll let me move back in with them."

"why?" he asked. "you aren't going back home?"

"no," mina frowned. "i'm breaking things off as soon as possible. i just need to go grab a few things today, if you could take me?"

"oh, mina, i'm sorry," and here came taehyung's soft, nurturing side as a big brother. "you two have been together for so long. what happened?"

"he's a jerk," mina simply said. "i'm not putting up with him any longer."

taehyung would see the fragile side of his baby sister start to show. he knew her better than anyone else and he could tell how upset she was from the shaking of her voice and the fidgeting of her hands. he'd silently step forward and pull her into a hug. mina sighed, melting into the gentle touch of her brother. "we can stop by your apartment later today, okay? get your stupid cat and whatever else you need."

she looked up at him, ready to scold him for talking down on her pet like that, but she was met with a playful smile. it that made her break into a small smile too. "thank you oppa~" she teased, knowing the word made him cringe.

"ew, shut up!" he'd playfully push her away and tousle her hair. "go back to sleep, kid."

mina rolled her eyes and stepped around him, slipping past him and towards the entryway of the kitchen/living room. "goodnight."

"night," he called back. "oh hey, by the way; the boys and i need to go to the gym to train for a few hours. we all have fights coming up this week. you're welcome to come, then we can go to your place after."

"sure," she replied. "i'll go with you. night."

***

taehyung parked his sleek black car in the lot of the gym. suddenly feeling a bit nervous upon seeing his friends again, mina's fingers fidgeted in her lap. "you okay?" taehyung would ask. he reached into the backseat and grabbed his gym bag. she nodded, watching him sling the bag on his shoulder and climb out.

"come on then."

mina got out too, following closely behind him like a lost puppy. taehyung pushed open one of the glass doors that led inside, giving a small wave of his hand at the person at the front desk. "hey," he greeted. the person greeted back, smiling as the pair walked by towards the practice room the boys had reserved for an hour or so.

the guys were already in there; mina subconsciously hiding behind taehyung more as she felt self-conscious under their curious gazes.

"guess we can have a proper meeting this time since last night was a bit out of the blue," taehyung stepped to the side, nudging his sister into the spotlight. "this is my baby sister, mina. mina that's jungkook, jimin and hoseok."

"hi..." mina muttered.

"hey mina," hoseok smiled warmly at her. "nice to meet you."

she smiled back, shifting her eyes to the tatted, dark haired boy beside him. he was handsome; with big brown eyes and a sharp jawline. he had full sleeves of tattoos, with a few sprawled across his hands. mina couldn't help but look at them, simply curious.

"hey, beautiful," the tatted man started to say. jimin reached over and slapped him on the leg.

"hey," taehyung warned. "you're not going to whore over my sister, jeon. watch it."

"yeah, kook, leave her alone," jimin chimed in. "you're creeping her out."

mina sheepishly retired to the sidelines of the practice room and took a seat against the wall. she pulled her phone out for a distraction, feeling embarrased now. the boys started getting ready, discussing their upcoming opponents. taehyung and jungkook headed for the punching bags while the other two men lifted weights together.

mina could feel it; every few seconds jungkook's eyes would find their way on her. little did she know, he found her to be genuinely beautiful. she pretended to ignore his gaze though, and played on her phone.

after about forty minutes passed the boys settled for a five minute break. taehyung went to the bathroom while the remaining group went and filled up their water bottles in the lobby of the gym. mina was stood to the side, waiting for her turn at the water station when she happened to look up through the glass windows and watch as a familiar car pulled up into one of the front spots.

her heart stopped for a moment as all the color drained from her face. hoseok glanced towards her and noticed her strange behavior, "you okay mina?" he looked out the window too, searching for whatever had made her react like that.

she nodded, awkwardly clearing her throat. "um, e-excuse me for a moment." she turned and dashed out into the parking lot.

"what are you doing here?!" she cried once outside, watching her boyfriend climb out of his beat up car.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" he snipped back, throwing his arms out to emphasize his frustration. "i've been calling and texting you since you left yesterday. why the fuck are you ignoring me?"

"why would i want to talk to you?" she challenged. "did you forget how you treated me yesterday? i needed some space."

he stormed up to her and grabbed her by the wrist, squeezing her skin so tight she could feel another bruise forming. "don't get smart with me," he yanked her forward. "you're coming home. now," hyunjin demanded, lowering his voice to show he really meant it.

"get the fuck off of me," mina pulled back. she planted her feet into the cement, using all her strength to stay put. "i'm not some little ragdoll you can pull around, hyunjin-"

rage settled over his face and he reached his hand up, bracing himself to hit her across the face. "don't argue with me you bitch-"

"is there an issue?"

mina and hyunjin froze, the two casting their glances sideways to find a tall, tatted man standing beside mina. it was jungkook, and he had his head tilted to the side as he stared back at hyunjin with an inquisitive look.

"can i fucking help you?" hyunjin hissed, giving one last tug that nearly knocked mina over completely. she stumbled and fell into him, wincing in pain as he held her there next to him. "who the fuck are you anyway?"

"no, who the fuck are you to be pulling her around like that?" jungkook didn't back down; in fact he stepped closer and zoned in on the man. hyunjin visibly stepped back a bit, shrinking back like a coward. "i'd suggest you get the fuck off her before we have to take this any further."

"jungkook-" mina murmured, looking down at the ground in shame. "don't-"

"who the fuck is this mina?" hyunjin suddenly asked, yanking her arm again to get her attention. a deep lump settled in mina's throat as she felt tears start to gather in her eyes. "huh?"

mina gulped, willing herself to breathe around the lump in her throat. she fucking hated when he yelled at her like that; it made her feel like a small, helpless child. the embarrassment started to kick in too, as she became another burden for everyone to take care of. "taehyung's friend." she murmured.

"unbelievable," hyunjin let her go as he threw his hands in the air again; the immature man huffing and puffing. "what is up with you? can't even handle a little disagreement? gotta go running to your brot-"

"it was more than a disagreement, hyunjin. you took it too far." mina said, reaching a trembling hand up to hurriedly wipe the tear that had start to sneak down her cheek.

"you know what mina, i don't have time for you and your bullshit. i'm going to be late for work," hyunjin's hands came slamming down at his sides. it made mina flinch. "i'll see you tonight."

and with that he turned, walked back to his car and got in. he instantly drove off, leaving the pair behind on the sidewalk.

"i'm sorry," mina breathed out a sigh of relief she had been holding in for a long while now. she clutched her throbbing temple. "fuck. i'm so sorry."

jungkook didn't say much as his eyes focused on her raised arm, noticing the browning bruise hyunjin had left behind. "i..."

"don't tell tae about this, please," mina pleaded. "i'm trying to break things off with him."

and with that she stepped around him and went inside, heading straight for the bathroom with tears still brimming in her eyes. a moment later jimin came to the entrance of the gym. "jungkook?" jimin called from the door, looking at the youngest in bewilderment. "what happened?"

jungkook shook his head, long black hair falling over his eyes. he had really witnessed only a fraction of the abuse mina had secretly been putting up with for awhile now. a heavy feeling settled over his chest; genuine remorse and an overall sorriness towards what he had seen. god, it made him furious to see a man lay his hands on a woman like that. if mina hadn't of been there jungkook would've knocked the prick out.

he turned and looked at jimin. there was worry written over the older's face. for the first time in a long time, jungkook was genuinely speechless. "i... i don't know."

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #boxer!jungkook #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook au

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piratewithvigor · 3 years

Note

a couple of the questions in the ask meme you reblogged really resonated with me, would you do 23, 24, 45?

Took me a bit to find the right list and I'm just guessing, but I hope this is the right one. I ended up answering these for two hours, so sorry about the novel

23. Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Four months ago was March 13, by my calculations. And it's a really tough one to answer. A lot of dirty laundry happened that week, and I'm not sure just how much I want to share. What I do know is that one week before March 13, I was having a really great night. Went out on a mini road trip with a group of friends. We were gonna go have dinner in this little restaurant/convenience store in the middle of nowhere, but we only arrived 10 minutes after they'd closed down the kitchen. We bought snacks and this big tub of peanut butter ice cream. Drove around and ended up getting some KFC, then eating the ice cream in the high school parking lot before burying it in the snow to try and hide it until Monday. We sang Sk8tr Boy until we were hoarse. That kind of jubilant joy is gonna be hard to recreate.

A few days after that was my birthday. I've never really made a fuss about my birthday and it isn't super important to me, so acknowledgement from the people closest to me is pretty much all I look forward to. Making memories of some kind.

I had a boyfriend at the time I really loved. He'd gone on the mini road trip a few days before (also being a part of that friend group) and had mentioned offhand when my birthday was, so I knew he knew. We were never really chatty over text because he's much more vocal, but we always made it a point to wish each other good morning as soon as possible after we woke up. I already knew something was off when he took until 9 or so to wish me good morning (he had classes that started at 8, so I knew he wasn't sleeping in). It was the beginning of a day that was likely one of the worst birthdays I've had. After spending the day listening to those who did remember tell me to leave him, that this was unacceptable, I requested a call with him around 8pm. We hardly ever called, so I think he knew something was up. I told him he'd forgotten my birthday (and called him a dumbass in my rage, which wasn't called for)

I said a lot of things that night to people in my anger. I wish I could take a lot of it back, or explain what I had meant at the time, but none of it can be taken back and I accept that. We didn't break up that night.

The next few weeks were a little uneasy. He was jumpy and had gone into an anxiety/depression spiral over the fear of getting dumped (no matter how often I assured him that I loved him and had no intention of doing so), but as a result, we weren't leaning on each other with the right balance anymore.

A few days before Easter, I had an emotional breakdown that lasted several hours. He wasn't returning my messages and later said he was with two of our mutual friends at a beach about an hour away. I wasn't angry at him, but really disappointed. A lot of my turmoil had come from the solitude of being the only university student in a gang of high schoolers, so there were days I'd see them all having fun together without me, and I snapped a little.

The next day, one of those friends requested an evening hangout and I was obviously elated. I spent the day waiting and passing the time as quickly as possible. When she pulled up to my house at exactly the minute she said she got off work, I was a little suspicious, but suspected I had misread the message. The car was fully parked (also weird), my boyfriend was sitting shotgun (I didn't know he was coming) and the other friend was sitting in the backseat (I didn't know she was coming either). The vibe was all off and my boyfriend turned around in his seat and said that we needed to break up. He explained our relationship was taking a toll on his mental health.

In front of two other people, I didn't have the chance to get my emotions out properly. Nor did I have the chance to really talk things over with him. I learned later that this was because he wanted backup in case I got violent (one of the misunderstandings from the evening of my birthday).

I haven't seen him since then. I've only heard his voice twice during calls with other mutual friends who've remained neutral in the breakup. Overnight, my friend group went from a healthy regular 6 that could be expanded to 10 to only 2 who talk to me (in person friends, I should specify).

In the weeks since, I haven't left the property beyond picking up the mail or my brother from school. I've gotten a new interest that I adore (but my family hates). I've had days that feel magical and days where I feel like I'd be better off dead if I could give my all in a relationship and still be disrespected like that.

I don't know if I'm happier than I was 4 months ago. I have up days and down days just as frequently. They're just about different things. But maybe I am happier; some days, I notice my 'ups' are higher than they used to be.

24. Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

Yes. In the aforementioned friend group, there were 6 of us who were the core: myself, my boyfriend, two other girls his age, one guy and one girl 4 years younger than me. I was never particularly close with the guy, but I always liked hanging out with him. The two other girls were the most regular hangouts because they were in town a lot, so if they went to hang out with my boyfriend, I was generally there too. They were the two in the car the night of the breakup.

The younger girl, I was probably the closest with. There would be evenings when she wanted help with homework or just someone to talk about nonsense while she listens. There were a good number of occasions where she would want to do homework late into the night and I'd lie in bed and tell her about movies I've watched recently. I considered her a really good friend, but because of our age difference, her parents were a little wary of her hanging out with the group outside of school (completely understandably so. I think the only reason she got to hang out with me was because her mom had been basically the youth pastor at our church since I was 8).

She took my boyfriend's side in the breakup. I know they were significantly closer than she was with me, but I just wish I didn't have to lose that friendship too. I sent her word through her brother to let her know I have no beef with her at all, but I don't think it did any good. It's very likely I won't be able to talk with her anymore, and I've mostly made my peace with it, but the lack of closure I got there is probably gonna mess with me for a while.

45. Do you believe exes can be friends?

I do. I have proof, but I don't know just how allowable it would be in this case. I consider myself to have had 6 relationships. They ranged from 1 month to 2 1/2 years.

My first one was third grade. The entire year, and about as PG as two 8-year-olds get. We broke up when fourth grade started, but were still pretty close friends. We got back together for a few months in seventh grade, but it wasn't working, so we went back to friends. He's now one of the only people I know in person who still talks to me. Definitely still a friend.

My second was 8th grade. A little bit toxic and we were probably better off ending when we did, but he gave me a lot of experience that I banked on for years. Have not spoken to him in close to 4 years.

My third was 9th grade. Definitely toxic. We don't talk about it. Stayed in contact and even friendly for about 2 1/2 years afterwards until I cut him off. It was really for the best in the end.

My fourth was later in 9th grade. My longest. Long-distance and one of my healthier ones. He left me after 2 1/2 years and gave me a whole lotta issues as a result. Our contact wavers on occasion, but we've never gone more than a month without talking.

My fifth was probably a week after my fourth. He was inheriting a basket case of a bitch. Also long distance and have not spoken since the breakup.

My sixth was the one who's breakup you read about above. We were together for almost exactly 18 months. My second-healthiest relationship after my first. He said we could still be friends, but the more time that passes, the less I believe it's a possibility.

#the first question is now inaccurate because it's after midnight but I ain't changing it

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multiharlot · 4 years

Text

home (TLTL2) / s. reid

summary: spencer is more than determined to win back the heart of his last lover. even if it means being a little unethical.

warnings: i dunno? i don’t think so? okay, who’re we kidding. violence. cursing. also mentions of blood.

part 1

masterlist

spencer’s pov

“i mean, what does she even see in a guy like that?” i scoff, gulping down my last bit of coffee.

“i mean, he does look like he belongs in a calendar.” jj says, staring dreamily at the buff sheriff.

“you’re married.” i deadpan, and she laughs softly.

“yes, spencer. i know. thank you for reminding me.” she smiles sarcastically.

i watch closely as he throws his head back in laughter as something the deputy said.

“there’s something off about him. he’s too...calm.” i glare, and jj lets out another sigh.

“spence, the only thing off about him is that he’s sleeping with the woman you’re still in love with. and i love you, i do, but if you do anything to mess this up for her, i will personally be...very angry at you.”

“what a threat.” i scoff, and she hits my shoulder lightly.

“i’m serious. she’s finally happy and back on her feet. don’t mess that up for her because you can’t handle the idea of somebody else finally doing what you couldn’t.” jj scolds, picking up her now empty cup of coffee and walking off.

i’ll figure you out, daniel.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

y/n’s pov

“bye park! have fun with the overnights.” i smile, patting the doctors shoulder softly.

“oh you know i will.” he glares playfully, making me laugh.

“have a good night.”

“you too, y/n.” he smiles, waving goodbye as i walk out of the ER doors.

while humming a small tune, i fumble through my purse, searching for my keys. my eyebrows furrow as i realize they’re missing from my bag.

“did i-”

“looking for these?”

my head snaps up and i see daniel, leaning against my car door with my keys in between his fingers. i hold my hand to my chest as a gasp escapes my lips.

“jeez. you scared me.” i laugh, walking forward and wrapping my arms around his torso.

“sorry.” he smiles, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

“what’re you doing here?” i ask, pulling away from him.

“i’m taking you home, come on.”

“in your car?” i ask, questionably glancing at the patrol car parked behind mine.

“yeah.” he nods.

“baby i can’t just leave my car here.”

“except you can. just...come on.” he urgers, grabbing my bicep tightly.

“ummm...ow. daniel, let go. i’ll just follow you and meet you at your house.”

“there’s no time for that. i have a special night plannes and i just...need you to trust me.” he pushes, and i pull my arm from his hold.

“daniel. no. i’ll drive home first. plus, i want to change i-”

suddenly, he lifts me off the ground, his hand over my mouth. my things fall across the floor and i attempt to wiggle myself out of his hold, screaming as loudly as i could. but the sounds were muffled by his large hand. my head hits the top of the door and i’m immediately knocked cold. the last thing that registered through my mind was the sound of the seatbelt clicking and his engine revving.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

spencer’s pov

“she’s gone” daniel breathes out and he runs into the station in a panic.

“who’s gone?” hotch questions, walking towards daniel who was currently in hysterics.

“y/n...she’s gone. i went to the hospital to bring her her spare keys and her stuff was all over the ground and her car is still there. oh god...” daniel groans, gripping tightly at his hair.

“hey, we’re gonna find her. don’t worry.” his deputy says, immediately coming to his side.

“we need all units out on patrol to keep an eye out for y/n. she’s been taken from the er parking lot.” the deputy says into his radio, the feedback pouring in almost immediately.

“you’re never going to find her.” daniel breathes out, throwing his hands down to his sides in frustration.

my eyebrows furrow and i look over at jj, who seemed to notice the same thing i did.

“we’ll find her, man. she was our friend once too.” morgan says, patting his back.

“let’s head to the emergency room and check the security-”

“they don’t work. they stopped working about 5 months ago.” daniel sighs, running his hands over his face.

“we’re going to find her, daniel. if it’s the last thing we do.” i say, staring him right in the eye.

his right eye twitches for a moment, but he takes a deep breath, nodding his head.

“i left everything the way it was when i found it. you guys go look...i need to go home for a minute. i...i just need a minute.” he mumbles, walking out of the station.

hotch turns to jj, blake, and i and before he even lets out a word and i speak out.

“he’s hiding something. he targeted us specifically when he said we were never going to find her. and on top of that, who wants to go home and rest when they’re girlfriend has just been kidnapped?” i say, everyone pauses for a moment, but by my surprise, hotch nods in agreement.

“you, jj, and morgan follow where he’s going. have garcia track his patrol unit. blake, rossi and i will head to the hospital.” hotch nods, and we all nod our heads ready to take off before hotch grabs my arm.

“spencer if you need to step away from this case then i understand-”

“hotch...i’m fine. i just want to save her. give me that chance.”

the three of us parked across the street from daniel’s home. as he walked in, morgan’s phone rings out.

“whatcha got for me babygirl?”

“so, turns out, those hospital cameras don’t actually work, but they didn’t stop working 5 months ago like the sheriff originally explained. their transmission feed was cut off about an hour before y/n was scheduled to get off of work. so i logged into the daniel’s patrol unit’s gps systems, and guess where he was right as the camera’s were shut off?”

“the hospital.” i finish, morgan and jj looking between us and back towards daniel’s house.

“alright, thanks mama.” derek sighs.

“you guys bring her back, alright? and you tell her she still owes me a coffee.” garcia says, her frown audible in her tone.

“over my dead body.” i mutter, as garcia hangs up the phone.

as we’re watching the house, i squint my eyes towards his car, pointing my finger out.

“guys is that...is that a dent above the passenger door?” i squint.

morgan and jj leans forward, nodding their heads.

“i- i think it’s a dent.” i say, unbuckling my seatbelt.

“spence don’t-”

“it’s fine. just...go to the door and tell him that you want to ask him some questions about y/n and keep him occupied.” i say.

they sigh, getting out of the car and walking with me to the door. i squat down behind his car and don’t get up until i hear the front door shut. i stand, walking over the passenger door where i look over the door. and lo and behold, there was a dent with fresh blood still on it. my breath catches in my throat as i send out a text to hotch and morgan.

there’s blood on his passenger door. it’s him.

i wait a moment before i hear crashing from inside the house. daniel runs out the front door and morgan tackles him onto the lawn.

“are you guys fucking serious!? my own girlfriend!? this is because of that fucking popsicle stick isn’t it? he couldn’t possibly stand the sight of her with somebody else, so he’s trying to pin this on me!” he shouts, trying to wriggle his way out of morgan’s hold.

“we found blood on your car, dude.” morgan scoffs, ushering him into the car.

hotch pulls up beside us, handing me a small plastic baggie with a cotton swab inside of it. i swipe the blood with the swab and stick it into the bag, handing it back to hotch.

“...what if it’s hers?” i ask after a small moment of silence.

“if it’s hers, then we do our jobs, and we find her.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

the interrogation was going nowhere, and the entire station was less than cooperative with us after we had brought in their own sheriff, that was, until the test results came back from the lab.

“the blood was hers.” hotch confirms, making daniel’s deputy stare up at us with wide eyes.

“w-what? no. that’s...he’s being framed.” he says, shaking his head.

“deputy rivera, i understand the personal conflict with this case, but all the evidence is pointing to him. he’s been the one to find all the past victims bodies. he specifically requested for us to come and assist with this case, despite acting as though he had no idea we were the team coming in. and more than anything, he fits the profile.” hotch explains, and rivera lets a short breath fall from his lips.

“but...his own girlfriend?”

“we think that was used to taunt me. y/n and i...y/n and this whole team have a history. so we believe that he took her in order to taunt us as though he was smarter than us. one step ahead.” i say, and rivera’s eyebrows shoot up.

“oh my god...you’re the genius ex-boyfriend. aren’t you?”

i pause for moment, before nodding my head. rivera’s eyebrows furrow before he scoffs.

“oh my god...it’s him. it’s you.”

“me?”

“yes. well no. i- daniel hates you. and i mean...hates you. y/n used to talk about you a lot. well, she referenced you. i don’t think she did it on purpose or maliciously, but it used to make daniel so angry. and once she told him what had happened between you two-”

“when did he tell her?” blake asks, and rivera shrugs.

“i dunno, probably about...a month or two ago.”

we all exchange looks, probably all thinking the same thing.

“that was the trigger. he needed to channel his anger into something, so he started killing people who resembled you or maeve in some manner. wether that was intellect or looks. and now, he feels the need to prove himself. prove that he’s better than you...” rossi explains, turning back to the board.

“wait so...you think he did all of this for her?” rivera asks, still trying to get a grip on his new reality.

“yes. and if we’re ever going to find y/n, we need your help.”

rivera nods his head, and i pace back and forth.

“did daniel every have anywhere where he could go, other than his home? was there some place he frequented? it’s a small town, there can’t be many places to go.” i say, laying the map flat against the table.

“not that i know of. he usually spent all of his time at home, at y/n’s place, or at the rec center.”

“rec center? what was he doing there?” i ask, marking down the locations he had just named off.

“outreach programs” he answers quickly, and i nod my head.

morgan quickly pulls out his phone, undoubtedly dialing garcia’s number.

“give me somethin to do that ain’t you, sugar.”

“i need you to check through the list of kids who participate in the outreach programs at the rec center and see if their parents own any plots of land or empty buildings.” morgan says, and i hear the clicking from her keyboard through the phone.

“okay...well, it looks like...oh.”

“oh what?” hotch asks, leaning into the phone.

“it looks like daniel had made a...generous donation to a family about three months ago-”

“yeah. to the jackson’s. they owned a canning facility down by the wharf. they’re one of the founding families of the town, so when the recession hit, we all helped gather the funds to keep them afloat for the next few months. daniel was the one to give it to them. but after their son died, they decided to skip town and start fresh somewhere else.” rivera explains.

“garcia we need the address for that warehouse.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

y/n’s pov

it was cold and it smelled wet. this cold metal chair was extremely uncomfortable and the rope was burning against my wrists. i groaned as i began to come to my sense, my vision flooding in little by little. i struggled against the restraints, but i couldn’t seem to pull myself out. my head still throbbing and the tears began to cascade down my face.

“daniel?” i croak out, but nothing came in return.

i shouted out for someone. anyone. bu no one came. a sob escaped my lips as i continued to try and pull myself out of the rope’s hold. so many thoughts ran through my head, but only one was prevalent at the front of my mind. i wanted spencer.

“spencer...please find me.” i whimpered, as i struggled, the twine breaking into my skin.

blood began to stain the rope as i pulled harder and harder. my wrists began to bleed heavier and that’s when i heard the sirens.

“y/n!?”

“spencer!” i shouted as i pulled harder at the rope around my wrists.

the door is kicked open and spencer runs in, morgan standing by the door, guns drawn. spencer fall to his knees in front of me.

“spencer.” i sobbed as he pulled his knife out, cutting away at the thick rope.

“you’re okay, baby. you’re okay. i got you.” he whispers.

he cuts through the last restraint around my ankles and i throw my arms around his neck. he lets out a sigh of relief as he wraps his arms around my waist.

“i love you. i love you so much, i never should have left. i’m so sorry.” i cried into his shoulder.

he rubs my back softly as he calms his rapid breathing.

“no, i’m sorry. i was too caught up in maeve and myself to focus on you. i’m so in love with you. if i had just gotten over it like i was supposed to, this would’ve never happened.” he sighs, pulling away and wiping the tears from my face.

we stood there, looking at each other for just a moment before he places his lips on mine. the familiar bunch of butterflies erupting in my stomach as he held on tightly to my face. we pulled away, and he chuckles awkwardly. i lean my head, smiling over at dererk.

“hey derek.” i smile.

“hey mama. come on, let’s get you checked out.” derek smiles softly.

i nod, and spencer wraps his arm around my waist, walking me out. i sat on the gurney as the paramedics disinfected and wrapped my wrists cautiously. eventually, we make our way back to the station, where i stood awkwardly as i gave the team my statement.

“so...what happens now?” i ask, looking between the group of fairly tall individuals.

“well, i believe you own garcia a coffee date. so we’re going to have to bring you back home with us.” spencer smiles softly, looking down at me with hopeful eyes as he intertwines my hand in his.

“home...yeah. home.”

(pls tell me if you want to be added to my taglist! i have no clue if you want to be here if you don’t say anything!)

@dreatine @slytherinintj13 @mileven-reddie @eleventhdoctorsangel

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #Criminal Minds #criminal minds imagine #reid x reader #x reader

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the-lady-writes-what · 3 years

Text

Update on Fox Gods’ Wife

Before I pass out in bed, I managed to plot out the first three chapters of the new fic. In all likelihood, it’ll be posted on my AO3 account but I’ll post previews and teasers with official links. For projects like this, I feel like they’re too long for Tumblr and for multiple chapter works I tend to run 4000-5000+ per chapter as the minimum. If I hit my groove, I can pump out between 6000-8000+ for one chapter. I feel like that is too long for a Tumblr post. Below are the chapters I came up with. The way I plot everything is using astrology and tarot cards because I’ve always hated those maps they give out in English classes. This is a weird system I came up with that happens to work for me. If you have any questions about it or want to try it yourself, you’re more than welcome to ask me. I’m not a professional tarot card reader, but the divination aspects of tarot isn’t what I use for my writing craft anyway.

Chapter 1

1. The Moon: intuition, illusion, fear, subconscious, the unconscious, mystery, secrets, psychic work, imagination, falsehood, deception/deceptive people in one’s life; Masae is caught in a daydream during her break. She returns to work and gets a vague from her boyfriend. She faces a subconscious fear that Neito is somehow lying to her, but she can’t pinpoint it. As she leaves work, Masae runs into harmless spirits that she feeds her leftovers. When she finally arrives home, there is no there to greet her.

2. Two of Cups, reversed: imbalance, disconnection, unworthiness, struggle, quarrels and misunderstandings, love not returned, a secret liaison, disharmony, cooling affection; Masae’s boyfriend eventually comes home. Neito complains about having to get dinner himself while gaslighting Masae about not texting him about what to get supper. Masae makes a weak apology (even though she doesn’t need to). Neito seemingly tries to make up his attitude earlier by flirting with her. While making love, Masae notices something odd about Neito’s behavior in the bedroom but brushes it aside.

3. King of Pentacles: power, influence, abundance, security, material success, pragmatism, a steady, methodical, and reliable man, an older established man, businessman; The next day at work, Masae is struggling to focus on work. Her boss comes around to scold her for not doing her work properly, even though she is. Masae bites her tongue and returns to work discouraged.

4. The Fool, reversed: carelessness, negligence, uncertainty, apathy, restlessness and boredom, the need for a new beginning, folly; Masae returns home from work again. This time she finds that Neito is home before her. He makes a barely believable story and gaslights her. Masae finds an earring in the bedroom, but doesn’t recognize it. She shrugs it off and puts it in her jewelry box.

5. High Priestess: the subconscious, wisdom, serenity, intuition, emotions, feminine power, spirituality, inner power, the influence of women, hidden influences at work, mysteries and secrets; Masae is visited by her Aunt Emi when Neito leaves a brief business trip. Emi is a shaman of sorts and understands Masae’s secret abilities to see spirits and ghosts. Emi is convinced that there is negative energy in the home Masae shares with Neito. Masae eventually tells Emi that she’s been feeling weird, off-putting vibes from Neito and tells her about the earring she found on the bedroom floor. Their conversation is cut off by Neito. Emi leaves reluctantly. Neito chides Masae for relying on her “crazy aunt” for advice. “Thank goodness you’re not blood related. I wouldn’t want it spreading through the gene pool. You don’t honestly believe in spirits and all that nonsense do you, Masae?” Wanting to please him, she quickly denies it. Masae lies in bed, unable to sleep.

Chapter 2

1. The Hanged Man: sacrifice, release, new perspective, surrender, letting go, seeing things from a different perspective, suspension, detachment from the material, meditation; Masae is stuck. She begins to become paranoid about Neito and her feelings towards him. She slowly begins to suspect him of something and it becomes more obvious that he’s hiding an affair behind her back. When she confronts him about it, Neito is quick to gaslight her and lie through his teeth. He makes her feel bad for even suggesting he’s cheating on her. Even after listening to him, Masae still can’t help but trust her gut feeling that he’s cheating on her. Masae slips into a depression and can’t seem to enjoy her books and manga anymore.

2. Nine of Wands, reversed: failure, defensiveness, hesitation, paranoia, cut your losses, existing partnership has lost its glow, spite; Masae comes home to find Neito with a female guest in their home. She feels jealous, but doesn’t make a show of it while the other woman is there. Neito’s guest seems oblivious Masae’s discomfort. Once she leaves, Neito chides Masae for not letting him know when she was coming home. They have a fight and Masae stays with her aunt instead of sharing her bed with Neito.

3. Six of Pentacles: generosity, charity, empathy, kindness, give and take, cooperation, gifts and awards; Masae comes to her Aunt Emi weighed down by fear and anxiety. She explains that she just had a fight with Neito and asks if she could stay a while. Naturally, Aunt Emi is more than happy to take her in for as long as it takes. Almost a week later, Neito arrives at the door with flowers and well-worded apology. He seemingly apologizes for his actions, however he does all of this while Aunt Emi is away and can’t warn Masae about Neito’s subtle gaslighting. Masae is so used to it, that she doesn’t notice it and takes him back.

4. The Star: renewal, hope, serenity, clarity, happiness, light at the end of the tunnel; Neito becomes sweeter than before as if to mask something. Masae begins to have her suspcions again, but is willing to give him a second chance. In a matter of days, Neito is still sickly-sweet to Masae, although by now she doesn’t notice the subtle deceipt. Neito plans a big date night to make up for his previous behavior.

5. The Tower: upheaval, change, awakening, shock, freedom, upsets, destruction of the old system, breakups, conflict and disruptions; Masae gets ready for her date with Neito when she gets a omninous text from her aunt. She tries not to think about it when she goes out with Neito. Everything seems to be going well until dessert. One of Neito’s exes spies them from across the restaurant. She explains that Neito is a chronic cheater and shows Masae pictures of Neito’s social media with the girl she saw at their home. Masae is so upset that she leaves the restaurant in tears.

Chapter Three

1. The Lovers: unification, choices, harmony, relationships, partnerships, the union of opposites, cooperation; In a town called Kitsunemura, located on Awaji Island, a young couple visit a shrine dedicated to a couple of fox gods. They pray for a successful and wonderful marriage. On their way out, the woman mentions how sad the shrine looks these days because it looks so old and run-down. The chapter cuts to Shouta and Hizashi, the fox gods, apparent opposites but also (sometimes) lovers themselves.

2. Four of Cups: meditation, resentment, apathy, discontentment, withdrawal, rest, boredom, lack of inspiration; Shouta looks around at the shrine and sighs. Hizashi is riding the cloud of accomplishment of helping yet another couple before he notices how downcast Shouta now appears. Shouta tells him that the state of the shrine won’t bring in enough people and they’ll be forced to return to Heaven (home of the gods). They can’t simply fix the shrine themselves due to limitations in their powers and drawing too much attention to the shrine (it might frighten more people away if it were to suddenly change overnight). Hizashi suggests going somewhere to alleviate their boredom. Shouta takes another look around the shrine and reluctantly agrees with the plan.

3. Seven of Cups: illusion, imagination, unrealistic desires, possibility, fantasy, dreams; Hizashi and Shouta go to the Spirit World (the go-between world of gods, spirits, and ghosts). They go to the Gods’ Quarter where they go to an inn to drink away their boredom. While they’re entertained, Hizashi senses one of their few devotees asking for help. He’s wasted and doesn’t think much of it. He drunkenly tells Shouta, but they both end up in a stupor and fall asleep together.

4. Eight of Pentacles: creativity, concentration, craftsmanship, focus, skill, work, determination; Hizashi wakes up with a hang-over only to discover that he’s back home. Shouta had carried him back home, but awoken early to see if there was something he could do for the shrine. Hizashi finds him at work reviving some of the plants and trees, however it has little effect as the shrine’s general appearance does not seem to improve or be able to attract more devotees.

5. The Star: renewal, hope, serenity, clarity, happiness, light at the end of the tunnel; Shouta and Hizashi sit up to watch the night sky after expending so much spiritual energy trying to fix their own shrine. Hizashi snuggles up to Shouta and holds him. Shouta notices some stars falling out of the sky and recalls the “mortal tradition” of making a wish on a falling star. Shouta doesn’t bother exploring the tradition, but Hizashi wishes that their bosses would send someone to help them save the shrine and keep them on earth.

#more writing stuff #OC #plotting #fox god AU #Fox Gods' WIfe #my hero academia fanfiction #slow burn

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hawkbucks · 4 years

Text

Number One With A Bullet

I saw a prompt comment on the WinterIron subreddit, and I thought I’d try my hand at it. It read:

Tony grows up in an average household, but his brain still lands him at MIT. One unlucky night, his trip to the bank gets interrupted by a robbery. However, the criminals leave as soon as they see Tony’s face. Looking into it, it turns out Tony was put on the No-Harm list by the leader of a global crime syndicate who goes by the Winter Soldier. He is completely flabbergasted when the Winter Soldier looks exactly like his ex-boyfriend, Bucky Barnes.

Tony doesn’t live in a bad neighborhood per se, but he wouldn’t be caught at an ATM in the dead of night with no more as defense than his keys poking through the slits his fingers make when they’re balled up in a fist.

And yet, that’s how he finds himself, standing under a cloth awning with a yellow light doing its best to illuminate him and provide a feeling of safety. He slides his card into the slot and waits for the mechanical voice to tell him to punch in his PIN. Damn the fact that the nearest convenience store is cash-only (seriously, they might as well be an inconvenience store with that policy in his very humble opinion), and damn the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s going to need at least 2 extra cans of Red Bull to get through his courseload tonight. He squeezes his keys harder, his keyring starting to dig almost painfully into his palm. Maybe leaving New York was a bad idea. Maybe he should’ve just went to NYU; at least then he’d be surrounded by familiarity.

The ATM asks for his PIN.

As his thumb hovers over the keypad, something sharp presses into the base of his spine. He freezes, breath catching in his throat, and hopes to god that he’s just imagining things.

“We just need you to withdraw a li’l something for us, alright?” a raspy voice sounds from over his right shoulder. It’s muffled slightly, probably due to a ski mask or a pulled-up scarf covering a mouth. “We don’t want this to get ugly.”

Yeah. So much for imagining things. He has his makeshift claws, sure, but he never thought that he’d actually have to use them, and the usage of ‘we’ isn’t exactly instilling any sort of confidence in him, especially when the presence of another person is confirmed by a low hum in agreement.

‘Course, it’s either stand here and let these guys bleed him for all the money he has in his account, or act out—and possibly get stabbed to death—in hopes of scaring them away once they see he isn’t going to be that easy of a target. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t mind doing a little tango with death if that means he isn’t going to be evicted from his apartment and end up living out on the streets. It’s not like he has that much to lose anyway (unless you count his piles of rising student debt and well-worn clothes as something).

“You know what to do, right?” the voice continues. “Just give us some money, and we’ll be right outta your hair.” The sharpness grows insistently, and he knows it’s only a matter of time until it breaks through his clothes and sinks into him.

“Just money?” he asks, swallowing down any residual fear.

“Just money.”

He blinks and nods twice. Now or never, Stark. Now or never.

He wildly turns around and punches out with his “claws,” satisfaction settling in his chest when he hears a grunt of pain. The knife clatters to the ground, and he watches as they reel back, holding the side of their face.

He sets his shoulders, adrenaline coursing through his veins as his breathing becomes heavy. He glares at the other, daring them to come forward.

Except that the other doesn’t come forward. No, their eyes are wide through the holes in their mask, and their knife is hanging loosely at their side. “Oh, fuck,” they start, their voice higher-pitched and more nasally. They look at recently-punched-guy out of the corner of their eye before looking back at him. “Uh, shit. Dude, it’s him. Norman, fuck, it’s him.”

Tony furrows his brows together. “It’s him”? What the hell does that mean? Last he checked, he wasn’t anyone that would get people caught up while attempting to rob him, unless he somehow turned into a celebrity overnight.

“Aw, man,” recently-punched-guy—or Norman, as he’s recently learned—moans, looking at Tony, knees buckling from underneath them. “The Soldier’s gonna have our heads.”

The Soldier? The closest person he knows to a Soldier is Rhodey, and he’s pretty sure Rhodey isn’t the kind of guy who would go around threatening to have people’s heads if they screw with him. Or maybe he is, but he’s definitely not the kind of guy who would make good on that promise if the way his would-be robbers are looking like they’re staring their death sentence in the face is any indication. (Speaking of which, probably not the smartest move to have given Tony one of their names.)

“We didn’t know it was you, man, we swear!” Not-Norman pleads, sounding on the verge of hysterics. “Dude, you gotta tell the big man that we didn’t know!”

He stays silent, racking his head and trying to figure out who this Soldier could be and why it seems like they want to protect him so much. Rhodey’s out, obviously. Pepper may be the next most likely candidate, but there’s also the fact that she has better taste than to call herself the Soldier. It can’t be Peter, that kid he tutors, since Peter is 12, and it’s not Peter’s Aunt May because he’s pretty sure she wouldn’t hurt a fly even if it was buzzing all over her lasagna.

Norman and Not-Norman, however, take his silence to mean that he is, in fact, considering not telling the “big man” that they didn’t know. “Listen, if we knew it was you, we wouldn’t even have approached you!” Norman says. “Just tell him that, yeah? ‘Cause we have to go. You—fuck—you hit hard!”

“I’ll tell him,” he says. If he could ever find out who “he” was.

“Okay, okay. We good?” Not-Norman’s already backing away.

Tony nods.

Norman, still holding his face, turns tail and runs. “You can keep the knife!” he shouts out, Not-Norman lagging just a few strides behind him.

Tony looks down at the knife, considering.

See, someone calling themselves the Soldier sets off alarms in Tony’s head. Unless they’re some 14-year-old on an MMORPG, they’re probably involved in some shady, shady business, and it’s not like he can just Google who they are. Fortunately, Tony knows someone who deals in shady businesses (mostly because they’ve been friends since elementary school and, while they went down incredibly different paths, she’s always looked out for him). He sprawls himself out on his couch and dials a familiar number.

“Who the hell’s the Soldier?” he asks once he hears her pick up.

“Wow. Not even a hello,” Natasha quips dryly. Rustles of cloth and faint shouting can be heard in the background.

He decides not to ask. It’s probably for the better. “Hello.” He pauses for what he assumes is an appropriate amount of time. “Who’s the Soldier?”

“What makes you think that I’d know?” Natasha says in a tone of voice that makes it painfully clear that she does, in fact, know.

“C’mon, ‘Tasha. I’m curious.”

Natasha hums in acknowledgement. “Answer one of my questions first.”

Oh, great. Intelligence for intelligence, as she says. “I—sure, okay.”

“You’ve never asked me about them before, which leads me to believe that you’ve never even heard of them until now. Who told you about them?”

He stares at his ceiling. “Uh, Rhodey? You know how he works for the military and all? He—”

“The truth, Tony,” she sighs exasperatedly, cutting through his lie like a knife through butter. So much for that.

He mumbles, “I was in the middle of… getting robbed—”

“Getting robbed?” Natasha’s voice is razor sharp, concern seeping through.

“It’s not—that isn’t important.” He waves a dismissive hand although he knows she can’t see. “I wasn’t hurt, which is exactly why I’m curious, because those guys stopped once they saw me and then they started acting like this Soldier was gonna kill them.”

“Who was trying to rob you?”

He could rat out Norman and Not-Norman, but he thinks that not even they deserve whatever kind of hell Natasha would rain upon them. “Not important.”

“It’s important to me.”

“Not to the story overall. ‘Tasha, please, I don’t want to talk about this any more than I have to.”

“…Fine,” Natasha acquiesces in her own way of apologizing. “I know him. Not personally, but I know him. Give me an hour and I’ll send you his address.”

“You can’t just tell it to me now?”

“I’m working, Tony.” With that, she hangs up.

He wonders if it’s revenge for him not telling her about Norman and Not-Norman. Knowing her, it is.

His base is near Boston, Natasha’s text reads, his text tone startling him awake. You’re lucky. Tell me how it goes.

If he’s being honest, he didn’t expect the base of someone with enough power to make a couple of simple-Joe-robbers nearly piss their pants at the thought of them to look so… plain. Bricks stained a dark red from the passage of time and accumulation of grime, black-tinted windows denying any nosey onlookers the pleasure of being able to look in, and a rather nondescript sign proclaiming the building to be under the ownership of a company calling themselves HC Inc.

He takes a deep breath and enters.

There’s a receptionist there, maybe a year or two younger than himself. Blonde. Her eyes widen when she sees him, but she quickly clears her throat and goes back to typing on her computer.

“Hi!” he greets once he’s up at the counter. He flashes her what he hopes is a friendly smile, because something about her tells him that she won’t hesitate to put him through the floor if she thinks he’s suspicious in any way, shape, or form. “I’m looking for, er…”

She smiles back up at him, eyes glinting. “The boss, right? Don’t worry, I’ll phone him.”

He nods politely before backing up and walking a few steps away, just far enough that he can still hear her without looking obvious (or at least he hopes he isn’t looking obvious).

“There’s someone here to see you, boss man,” he hears. “No, it isn’t her. It’s—” she glances at him— “it’s Stark.” A pause. “I’m sure. He looks like the picture.” Another pause. “Yes, of course.” She places her hand over the mouthpiece and beckons him over. “Can I see ID?”

He fumbles with his wallet as he fishes it out. He flashes his MIT ID, hoping that’s enough.

And enough it seems to be. She nods towards a hallway off to the left. “There are elevators down there. The boss is on floor 30.” She uncovers the mouthpiece as he walks away. “I’m sending him up right now.”

The room the elevator opens up to is far more extravagant than he would’ve expected looking at the outside of the building. A heavy-looking mahogany table sits in the middle, magazines splattered all over the surface, while a pair of thick maroon curtains help block out anything the tinted windows can’t. A chandelier illuminates the room in a soft yellow light unlike the harsh flickering from the ATM before.

Either he’s about to be served the finest glass of red wine he’s ever had, or he’s about to be executed while Chopin bombards his eardrums. It could be both. Not that he’d mind.

He takes a few careful steps, looking around the room. “Uh, hello?” he calls out, trailing his fingers on the table. After a couple of seconds of no response, he picks up a magazine and flicks through it. He can play the waiting game.

“Tony?”

He yelps, turning around to smack whoever that voice belongs to with the magazine, but is stopped when a large hand wraps around his wrist. “Wh—” he starts, then everything he’s about to say dies in his throat. No way, right? There’s no way?

It’s been a few years since they’ve seen each other, since they broke up because he wanted so desperately to go to MIT, to leave their state, but he’s pretty sure that he’d recognize the other anywhere and in any life.

“James?” he squeaks. James is taller now, broader and more muscular with a fair amount of scruff on his chin and hair that reaches his shoulders, but his eyes have always stayed the same: this cool blue that brings him back to the ocean. “You’re the Soldier?”

“Winter Soldier, technically,” James says, releasing his wrist. “Sorry, I—I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Winter Soldier?” Tony narrows his eyes and rubs at his wrist. He doesn’t doubt that James didn’t mean to harm him, but his grip is strong. “Like… like from when we used to play Runescape?”

James cringes, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I couldn’t think of anything else. What are you here for anyway? I never thought that you’d… that you’d find out.”

“I—” Tony throws the magazine back on the table— “was approached by a couple of lovely guys, and they mentioned you. Said something about how you’d have their heads for even coming near me.” He crosses his arms. “I’d like an explanation, please.”

James rubs the back of his neck. “There’s a list that I have of people that, uh, that shouldn’t be hurt. You’re on it. So are a couple other people, but… yeah, you’re on it. You’re number 1, actually.”

“Number 1?” Tony isn’t sure if he should be flattered or afraid. Flattered because, well, it shows that James still cares for him, still thinks of him, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t send his heart aflutter. Afraid because there’s bound to people out there that aren’t scared of the Winter Soldier’s wrath, and the fact that James just offered his name and face up on a silver platter… he’d just have to hope, as with most things.

“Yeah. You’ve always been my number 1.”

No. Tony can’t have that. His head is already spinning what with all of this information that he’s under the protection of some mob boss (although Tony strongly suspects that James is the head of more than just a mob) and that mob boss is his high school boyfriend that he thought he left in New York. He can’t have old feelings resurfacing. He can’t think about the nights where he stared at James’ contact information in his phone, never quite building up the courage to call or text. “We haven’t talked in years, James.”

“Doesn’t mean you’ve grown any less important to me.”

Tony exhales. He can’t really come up with something to say against that. Or at least he can’t come up with something to say that wouldn’t make him feel like a monster (which is funny, because James has probably dealt with much worse people than an old flame with a lashing tongue). “What is that supposed to mean?”

James shrugs loosely. “Whatever you want it to mean.”

Oh, no. Oh, no, Tony, don’t, his mind says. James has changed. He isn’t the same boy that used to quote Star Wars with you all day. He’s dangerous, more than likely. “And if I want it to mean something along the lines of us trying again? As friends, and maybe… maybe we can see where it goes.”

James smiles sanguinely. “I can accept that definition.”

#number one with a bullet au #I am so darn glad that it at least kept SOME of the formatting because if I had to re-do the italics I think I would've just opted to die.#Unsure of whether I should tag this WinterIron or not as I HAVE posted it before... it just got deleted... like my blog...#I don't know. I don't want people to see this in the WinterIron tag AGAIN and get confused.#I'll think on it.#Anyway. I'm also bringing back my personal favorite tag on the original post:#Tony: Uh yeah maybe he does run a crime syndicate but he's hot and I missed him :(

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myvelouri · 4 years

Text

I have to write this

I just can't believe another guy had you in the way that was meant for just me. You said we were exclusive. How could you conveniently forget. Scratch that, how could you even want to flirt with another guy, want another guy when I'm seeing you every night after we finally got together for real after you already betrayed me.

I was there, fighting to be with you because I felt I owed it to you since you fought for me SO hard and chased me SO hard even though I said I couldn't be with you in the beginning and tried not to be. You came at me so hard. You went from saying things like you want to pay for my college to then suddenly cheating on me. But yeah I waited every day, to talk to you, we were in a strong relationship and you overnight went behind my back to an ex and got feelings for him. Blindsided and dumped me for him. Weeks of torture and you talking to him and me talking to you. The worst things I heard, many traumatizing moments. But finally you knew you wanted me really badly. You were suffering without me as you knew you wanted me finally. You missed me that day I left you alone.

You told me you wanted to be official with me and said you'll be honest about everything and not go behind my back again. Since you went behind my back and video chatted an ex which I told you was not even okay as I broke up with you for it before, yet, you fought so hard to be with me and made compromises.

You wanted me tremendously. We started doing us again. Gifts for each other, nights where you surprised me with candles and you in lingerie. We cuddled, made love, joked, tried to get over what you just did to me. But you made it seem like you didn't really go back to your ex and you convinced me that you loved me. I was just extremely disappointed and now scared of you. Because how could someone who wanted me this bad just suddenly go behind my back at all and then break up with me. You said you felt guilty for having feelings for me and him so you left. But I remember a lot. You really wanted to go back to him. You said he was never gonna be an issue.

But he was. I knew it.

But forget that. My trust for you died a little. But not completely, not even close. I still had a lot of trust.

So we kept being together, you're the one who said we were exclusive, you got upset and had a shocked reaction when I asked if we were together or seeing other people or what "together" means. You said "we're EXCLUSIVE!" and the thought of me being with someone else obviously wasn't okay with you and I felt reassured. I felt we were still together. I mean, we were. In a relationship. Just slowed it down. We agreed to have a slower relationship... Like I wanted in the beginning. Hell, you forced me into a relationship hard and fast. To begin with. Which was also unfair. For you to do this.

But we were together! And then suddenly, a guy hits on you, creepily. You went to get your laptop fixed and you had a moment with him. A cute moment. You both laughed. I joked that you'd be hit on and you're cute so maybe you could use your looks to get your laptop fixed for a cheaper price. I was totally kidding. And you were saying you're not cute at all. I was being such a good boyfriend to you and said you're super cute, super amazing. But this guy... He sent you a text saying you were really cute. ... ... He got your number from the SYSTEM at the store. How fucking creepy is that. You sent me the screenshot.

I was like "that's creepy! But I told you you were cute!" And you responded in a weird way. So I asked "did you text him back?!" And you made it seem like how could I think you'd text him back. And I felt bad, I said to myself omg I should have trusted her, of course she wouldn't have texted him. Of course not. You lied to me. You lied.

I found out you were texting him when I saw you that day. His name was in the text you sent, in the screenshot. But you didn't have his number saved

But as we were goofing off in person, I saw your phone blow up. I saw the screen and you told me to check if it was your mom. Instead, I saw HIS name. I was like "you... Saved his number?" And you said "who? Oh that's not him. That's so and so" and you said that 3-4 times as I kept saying "um, no.. that's the guy... You... Saved his number?" And I was getting anxiety, triggered. And I actually trusted you so much that I was like, in okay maybe it's a different person with the same name... But I was like "that's the same name..." And you finally let up and said "yeah.. it's him..." And I said "why would you save his number?..." And I saw the text said something that was a response, saying something about his hobbies and asking her for her hobbies. Clearly they were having a huge conversation. I was freaking out. I said I'm done. I can't with her. We're finished... This is too much. Too much... Too many times now... Too much hurt.

And I said I wanted to see the texts. And you said no, are you sure, no. But you offered it I think. I said okay fine show me. And you didn't want to. You finally gave in. And you looked full of guilt. And you said "you're gonna hate me..." And I saw you pull out your phone, you said you only texted him 3 times. So I was expecting 3-6 texts max. But you scrolled up so far into the conversation thread, omg it went forever, I saw paragraphs from each of you, I saw emojis, I saw so much flirty shit it seemed, playfulness, I didn't even read, I said no, out it away, that's enough of an answer, THAT much amount of texting, wow, no. And I asked if you flirted and you said "a little..." And I said no. I can't.

I can't.

I can't believe you would do this

I couldn't

I wonder how far the flirting went.

Also she said that when she went in to get her laptop fixed, she went back to her car and put on lip gloss and makeup and went back to him to flirt with him. She played it off by saying she wanted a cheap price so she wanted to use her looks. This was my joke from earlier. Except she actually did it. DUDE she ACTUALLY went BACK into her car, put on lip gloss, MAKE UP, went BACK TO THIS GUY, and flirted with him

Holy shit

That's probably why he went full creep-mode and got her number from the system.

I just

And then they...

Why would I take her back?

My feelings for her have died and I'm so enraged that they died because I wasn't ready for them to go. They go by themselves, it's cause of her! My heart does what it does! But I'm noticing all the cute shit she does and says, her personality quirks, all her behaviors that would make my heart flutter, all the things that made me go "AWW" AND EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME ADORE HER NO LONGER HAVE ANY EFFECT ON ME!! HOW DARE YOU HURT ME SO BAD THAT MY FEELINGS DIE! You weren't supposed to be the one capable of this.

You're the one who promised loyalty so fucking hard. Cause I was leaving you for far less and you knew what not to do, knew what I was sensitive to. And you thought I was the sweetest guy ever, best guy you've ever had.

Yet you still hurt me badly.

You even said you wanted to flirt with another guy (s) before you got into a serious relationship with me forever. Wtf do you think I am? You think I'd want you after you gave yourself to another guy? After you hoe around? I said if you want to do that just go ahead and live how you'd like.. but I'm leaving. I'm not judging. You be you. It's okay. I swear. But definitely don't hurt me, you fucked me over.

I can't stand this

This pain

You fucking loved me so hardcore. You would come see me everyday on your lunch break from work. You said how I was such an upgrade from your ex. You said you didn't know how I'm so comfortable to be with. You said no one's ever made you this happy. You still say that shit. But I don't believe you. And now I have zero trust for you. None. It's all gone.

You cheated, you lied, you took me for granted. And you went behind my back twice. And you broke my heart once already, and now you broke it again

You feel guilty and anxiety everyday now. It's been 2 weeks.

I'm not over it.

You again were fighting hard to be with me. Spoiling me. But I don't trust it.

As well, you've leaned back some, and you seem to be okay with me not being with you suddenly

Your emotions are unstable, girl.

I still love you, honey

But

You killed me.

I don't know if I can stay.

#personal #relationships #heartbreak

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ificouldhelpyouforget · 4 years

Text

My Soul to Keep: Three (Kurama x OC)

MASTERLIST

A/N: I honestly can’t think enough to say much except that I hope you enjoy this chapter and the chaotic telling of this story.

Summary: Saito has to be dealt with. Ichika finally sees what Kurama looked like as a demon.

Warnings: Probably more sex talk or something. Maybe language. Aggressive behavior that could have turned bad if it wasn’t interrupted. I really can’t remember. Just know it’s not the smut part.

Words: 4.7k

Getting invited over for a sleepover with Yukina, Botan, Keiko, and Shizuru - I learned she was Kuwabara's sister - was a shock and also exciting. It came out of nowhere and it was Keiko who called with the invitation. She gave the night and Shizuru's address when I agreed. There was a slight bounce in my step the rest of the week.

The first thing I did when I got off the phone with Keiko was text Kurama. Someone needed to watch Ichigo for me and he was my best option. I could let the fox stay in a kennel at work, but I knew he would be happier with a familiar face.

"I'd be happy to take care of him," Kurama said when I answered his phone call.

"Great! It's this weekend, so I can give you a key if you don't make it over before I leave. You're welcome to stay overnight, too. I'll make up the guest bed just in case."

"I appreciate the offer, Ichika." It wasn't a no.

"Thank you for doing this. You've been incredibly helpful with all this Saito stuff even though it is just a job for you."

A second of silence. "I would help even if it wasn't."

I grinned. It was one of those moments that made me feel like he and I were friends, not just people who happened to get tangled up in each other's lives.

•••••

My happiness came in full force when Kurama came over the night of the sleepover. I couldn't keep my grin at bay. I was so excited to spend time with my friends I didn't get to see often.

"Can I walk you there?" Kurama asked as I gathered my overnight bag.

I blushed. "Sure. If you want." I half-way hoped he wasn't walking with me to make sure I was safe. I enjoyed his company a lot.

He took my bag from me with a smile and quietly told Ichigo he would return soon.

Ichigo yipped in a dog-like manner before curling up in view of the door. He was such a good fox.

•••••

When Botan opened Shizuru's door to see Kurama standing beside me, she put on an overly excited face.

Kurama handed me my bag with a smile and well wishes for a fun night before excusing himself. Botan almost knocked me off my feet as she pulled me inside.

"Is something going on between you and Kurama?"

I tilted my head. "No. Why?"

"Oh, ah... he spends a lot of time with you."

"They can be friends without romantic feelings, Botan," Shizuru said after taking a drag of her cigarette.

I felt my heartbeat pick up a little. "Well, he comes over to see Ichigo a lot and he's keeping an eye out for my psycho demon ex-boyfriend who wants to eat my soul." I sat next to Yukina on the couch. "I can bet he still feels guilty for taking my memories in the past, too. Sometimes it feels like he's trying to make up for it."

"I like that Kurama hangs out with you so often," Keiko said. "He's comfortable with you and takes great care in your well-being."

"He takes care of all his friends."

Yukina smiled at me. "Your friendship with him is sweet. Even though he's keeping an eye out for Saito, he's made you one of his best friends."

That made me happy.

Botan sniffled. "You're so cute!"

"All right, all right," Shizuru laughed, stamping out her cigarette in the ashtray. "If we're all ready, it's time we start the night off with a movie. Anyone want popcorn? I have beer if you want some, too."

•••••

Two hours later, the movie came to an end and Botan initiated the kid's game of "Truth or Dare." Had I been with anyone else, I would have excused myself. For my newer friends? I was going to suffer through it.

Keiko started. "Botan, truth or dare?"

"Truth. It's too early for a dare."

"Have you ever thought about Koenma as more than your boss?"

She sputtered. "No!"

Keiko raised her eyebrows.

"I-I... okay. It crossed my mind once when he changed into his adult form the first time."

"Adult form? What does he look like usually?" I asked.

"Well, um, a toddler." She grinned. "Ichika, truth or dare?"

I deflated. "Mm... truth."

Shizuru muttered about us being a bunch of chickens.

"All right then! Are you attracted to Kurama?"

"I saw that one coming..." Shizuru said.

I smirked. "It's better than the dare I'm sure she had locked in."

"Oh, please just answer the question!"

To bug her, I pondered it until she groaned in despair. I giggled. "Maybe. I can admit he's very good looking. I was a bit awestruck the first time I saw him and I was with Saito still, who is - despite being an ass - attractive, too. I can't say that I'm attracted to Kurama enough to be with him. I'm sure that's not the real answer you want. I'm just not in a good place right now and with Saito around, it's best I keep any romantic feelings toward my friends out of the picture."

"So, in a roundabout way, you are attracted to Kurama."

"I guess? I just don't think about it. I think it'll only cause more trouble for both of us with everything going on."

"Maybe he'll tell you he likes you," Yukina chimed in. "He seems fond of your company."

I shrugged. "And I'm fond of moving this conversation back to the game." My smile reassured them I wasn't upset with the question.

•••••

We continued to play for another hour before Shizuru got sick of the lack of dares and how pathetic they were. She said something about needing them to bring dread or anxiety, which none of our dares seemed to do.

I was more than pleased to move on to something else because every question given to me was about either Kurama or Saito. I knew what would incur with a sleepover, but I wasn't quite prepared for all the questions. It was exhausting.

My phone went off, catching everyone's attention. Rolling my eyes, I excused myself to another room and picked up.

"It appears Saito found a way to hide himself within your house."

The flat way Kurama said it made my blood run cold. "What?! He... He's been hiding in my home?"

"It appears so."

Fear gripped my heart. "What... What do I need to do?"

"I will stay here tonight in case he returns. Don't leave Shizuru's. I'll pick you up in the morning. I'll talk to Yusuke and we'll make a plan to get Saito before this becomes a bigger problem."

"Okay... Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry this has turned into this."

"There's no need to apologize, Ichika."

I nodded although he couldn't see it. "I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yes." A pause. "Don't let this affect the rest of your night. We'll take care of it. Have fun."

We ended the call and I went back to a room of curious women.

I sighed and stuck my tongue out knowing how they'd react once I announced Kurama called. That started a barrage of questions. I didn't let them in on anything, letting them make up their crazy scenarios. Shizuru watched with a half-smile as I tried to change the subject several times.

•••••

As I suspected, Botan, Keiko, and Yukina answered the door together when Kurama knocked on it the following morning. Shizuru watched them act unbearably obvious while I tried to squeeze out of the door. I managed to bid them a quick goodbye before taking Kurama's hand and dashing away.

"You are an odd woman," he said when I finally slowed to a walk.

I heaved in and out to catch my breath. I needed to get into cardio. "Trust me... Running away was in your best interest."

"The sleepover couldn't have been that bad."

"It wasn't bad at all. I had a ton of fun."

"So why run?"

"Our friendship was everyone's favorite subject all night. I didn't want you to fall into their trap."

Kurama's eyes were intense and gentle all at once. "Do they have an issue with us being friends?"

"No, not in the way you think."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it's strange and my life is currently at risk."

"That's a reason?"

I nodded. 'There's no time to think about it."

"About what?"

"You are unusually nosy this morning."

"I'm attempting to understand your behavior." He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes as if he was building a wall.

Kurama wasn't stupid. There was no doubt in my mind that he already knew why I pulled him away from our curious friends. The fact he was putting up defenses caused my heart to clench.

"I don't want to tell you because I'm afraid you're going to disappear or make me forget you again." I fixed my bag on my shoulder. "And I know you know. You're too observant to miss our friends' painfully obvious motives."

"I know enough to guess." The wall was still getting built.

I frowned. "I can see you hiding away from me..."

He blinked, his eyes a smidge wider. "I apologize. I didn't realize..."

"Don't worry about it, all right? I did my best to dissolve any of their curiosities. If they don't believe me, that's on them. You're my friend and I like that you are. Even if our friendship ends when Saito does, I'm glad to call you a friend now."

I held Kurama's surprised gaze for a few seconds before starting forward again. He eventually fell in step with me. We didn't speak again until we arrived at my house and it was just our farewells.

•••••

I called Botan a few days later when I didn't see or hear from Kurama. Hiei came by - scaring the shit out of me - and said he would be staying with me until further notice. Of course, at the request of Kurama who was MIA.

"Please, never bring up anything about me and Kurama's relationship. I haven't seen him since he picked me up and I'm afraid he's keeping his distance because he thinks I'm looking for something romantic with him."

"Did you say anything about the sleepover?"

"No, but he's too smart. He probably smelled your thoughts before knocking on the door."

"I'm sorry, Ichika. We were just having some fun."

"I know. Just... keep away from the romantic inquiries, okay?"

She agreed and we hung up.

I tossed my phone to the other end of the couch. Taking a throw pillow, I covered my face and shouted curses into it. What a stupid way to lose a friend.

"You didn't lose him, idiot."

I shrieked and threw the pillow at Hiei who deflected it easily. "If you're gonna live here, you can't sneak up on me like that. It's bad for my heart!"

He stared. "Kurama is in Spirit World."

"Why? It was pretty bad timing to leave when things are... weird."

"Kurama has reached the limit of his patience searching for Saito."

"I didn't know he had a limit."

Hiei smirked. "You'd be surprised what he'll do when those he cares for are in danger."

I was more anxious than comforted by the thought. So much so that I didn't realize Hiei read my mind.

•••••

A week later, I finally heard something from Kurama. It was a short text asking me to meet him nearby to talk. I agreed without hesitation.

The address he gave me took me to a wildlife park that was empty when I arrived. I went there a few times before, but never later in the evening. The sun cast beautiful oranges and pinks on the clouds as it sank lower. I hoped he would show up soon.

Much to my bad luck, he didn't. Saito did.

"Funny seeing you here," he grinned wickedly. "Where's your pretty boy at?"

"Around." That was the perfect time for Kurama to arrive, which he still didn't.

"Did he get tired of babysitting you?"

That didn't warrant an answer.

"It's a shame he can't be here to watch me eat your soul once and for all." Saito stepped closer.

I stepped back. "I won't let you."

"Last I checked, sweetheart, you're human and I'm a demon. I can overpower you easily and take what I want." His hand lashed out faster than I expected, taking hold of my arm. He pulled me against him.

"Let go of me!"

Saito brushed my hair out of my face despite my trying to avoid his touch. "I ought to thank Kurama for sending you right into my arms. Did you know he went to the same high school with us? No? Oh, right! You forgot, didn't you? Because of him."

Tears flooded my eyes the more hopeless my situation looked. I thought I was going to die.

"Back then, you only had eyes for that fox bastard. You never looked my way. Then one day, you walked right up to me to confess your love for me. I thought it was a joke. But you were head over heels for me." Saito held me tighter. "You walked past Kurama as if he didn't exist. It wasn't until recently when I learned he erased your memories of him."

"Please, let me go," I whimpered.

"Don't you want to hear the rest of the story? I haven't gotten to the best part."

No amount of pushing or wiggling could get me away from him.

"Your precious fox replaced your memories of him with me. He put you exactly where I wanted you. I was gifted your soul from the very one you loved."

"And you're not gonna get a chance to take it, Saito!" a familiar hotshot said from behind Saito.

He turned, flipping me around so my back was flush against his front.

My heart raced at the sight of Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei. I sobbed and fought against Saito's hold.

"Speak of the devil. The fox and his friends are here to save the damsel in distress."

Kurama and Hiei didn't bother with small talk, moving so fast they disappeared from my sight and reappeared to flank Saito. In one swift attack, Kurama wrapped his rose whip around Saito's arm to weekend his hold. Hiei swung his sword to force Saito back. It was enough to let Hiei get close enough to grab me away from Saito and out of danger.

I collapsed on the ground near Kuwabara. With me away from Saito, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama went on the offense. If I could have seen more than blurs, I would have watched.

"Are you okay?" Kuwabara knelt to my level.

"Shaken up, but all right." I sniffled and wiped my eyes on my sleeve. "Go help them. I'll stay out of the way."

"No need!" A bubbly voice said from above.

Botan hovered in the sky on an oar wearing a pink kimono. I would have been shocked if my body wasn't exhausted.

"I'm here to take you to safety. Climb on and hold tight!"

I did as I was told and wrapped my shaky arms around Botan's middle. Before I could wish Kuwabara good luck, we were shooting into the clouds.

"What about them?" I shouted over the air rushing around my ears.

"The boys will take care of Saito. They'll be fine."

"Where are you taking me?"

"To Spirit World! Once Saito is taken care of, the guys will meet you there to take you home."

"There wasn't a place in Living World to keep me safe?"

"Not as secure as Spirit World!"

•••••

Had I not been blown away by the sheer magnitude of Koenma's palace, I would have been shocked seeing the toddler prince for the first time.

"How are our detectives doing?" he asked Botan while stamping a stack of papers.

"Well! Saito should be apprehended in no time if he isn't already!"

"And Fujimori?"

"Present and accounted for," I replied, scaring the Spirit World prince.

"I wasn't expecting you here, Miss Fujimori."

"Ichika is fine. They didn't tell you I was hiding out here until Saito was taken care of?"

"No, they didn't. It's nice to finally meet the woman Kurama and Hiei have been protecting. I'm Koenma."

My face warmed. "It's nice to meet you."

Botan cleared her throat. "Don't you have a way to keep an eye on them up here?"

"I do, but I'm far too busy to watch right now. I'll never get these done if I watch them handle a minor demon. We'll have to wait patiently for their arrival."

"Where should I bring Ichika then?"

"Let her browse the library. I'm sure there's plenty she'd like to look up."

"Aye, aye!"

•••••

The library blew my mind a hundred times more than the palace. It reminded me of the library in Beauty and the Beast, but bigger and with millions of years of information. I lost myself in the bookshelves the moment Botan left me to my own devices.

I looked through books about spiritual awareness. I studied pages and pages on Spirit, Demon, and Living World history. My favorite parts were the sketches and photographs of hundreds of things I never saw before. The things of Demon World were the most unique and strange.

While I was wandering around searching for my next book. I found something on the demons of Demon World. Flipping through it, I found a page mention Hiei by name. It said he was born in an ice maiden clan with Yukina and was shunned because he was male and a fire demon. They didn't have any more information up until his Jagan Eye surgery - there was a page number for further information on the eye's powers. The last thing they had written was about his involvement with Yusuke and the spirit detectives. It was fascinating and had me wondering how many of my friends were inside that book.

Still flipping through the book, I made my way back to my seat. I stopped on a page about a bat demon named Kuronue. There was a sketch of him, too. He had long black hair, pointed ears, and a large hat that I imagined covered his face often. He looked so human and unusually handsome. The number of good-looking demons I spotted in that book was unnerving.

My eyes zeroed in on a note at the bottom of the page. "Yoko Kurama" was scribbled out with a page number in parentheses. I hesitated. Would there be a sketch or a photo? How accurate would the information be? Why was I even nervous to turn to the page?

"Botan said I'd find you here."

All the hair on my body stood up and I slammed the book shut as if I was doing something wrong. I looked over to see Kurama with a curious smile.

"Yeah," I blushed and scratched my neck. "Koenma asked her to bring me here. He figured I'd be entertained until you guys got here."

He looked at the pile of books on the table. "You've certainly read through a lot."

"It was better than worrying about you all." A beat of silence. "What... What happened?" I finally noticed a few cuts on his cheek and the tears in his clothes.

"Saito is dead."

I nodded, looking at the floor. It was strange that the man I once loved was dead by the hands of my friends. The world was strange and full of so many things I had yet to understand.

"Is everyone okay? Are you okay?"

"Just a little beat up." Kurama's eyes scanned the cover of the book I slammed shut. "Interested in demons?"

"Most of my friends are one and it looked interesting. I saw Hiei mentioned and decided to check it out. I was reading on a demon named Kuronue when you came in."

Kurama's eyes saddened. A small smile came upon his face. "I haven't heard that name in a long time."

"That would explain the notation..."

"May I?"

I stepped aside and let him go through the book.

He stopped on the page about Kuronue and stared at it. "He was good at what he did, it's why I chose him as my partner. It was a shame a mistake was his downfall."

"Did he really look like that?"

He chuckled. "Yes. Something you'll learn about Spirit World is how well they gather information and their accuracy."

I pointed at Kurama's old name. "Think they've got him right, too?"

"Undoubtedly. Care to check?"

"You were him. I don't think I can verify if the content is valid."

"You're nervous."

I scoffed. "No."

"There's no need to be. Are you afraid to read about what I did as a thief?"

"No..."

Kurama turned to the page with a knowing smile. "It was the past, Ichika. Whatever I did then... it doesn't matter now."

My eyes stayed glued to his face. Sure, knowing what he did as a demon made me nervous, but I was more afraid to see what he looked like. Was he as frightening as he made Yoko sound? Or was he as handsome, if not more so, than his partner in crime? I felt silly for being scared of what he looked like.

"You continue to baffle me, Ichika." Kurama laughed quietly and leaned over the book to read the information about him. "They knew far more than I realized. And they used an image from the dark tournament? I didn't realize they kept this book updated."

Finally, my curiosity won and I looked down. I was so embarrassed by the instantaneous blush on my face that I started sweating. I tried to ignore Kurama's eyes on me.

Yoko Kurama was gorgeous - for the lack of a better word. I could still see the Kurama I knew in his sharp features. The gold eyes, the silver hair... the adorable fox ears on top of his head had me thanking my stars for never knowing Yoko. I would have been a stuttering fool in his presence.

I was so enthralled by the image of the fox demon, I forgot to read anything written about him. I didn't notice until Kurama asked how I felt about what I was supposed to know.

"Did you not read it?"

"Uh... no? I was a little... distracted."

"I see not even you could evade his looks."

I cleared my throat. "Sorry? I am a single woman, so... it was just a bit of a surprise. I didn't know what to expect."

"Yes, well, Yoko did have a reputation among women."

"And it didn't carry over to your human self?"

"I have a reputation, although it came about simply by existing and attending school."

"His looks did carry over..." My eyes widened as I said it and I was on the verge of apologizing profusely for not thinking before speaking. But I noticed the slightest bit of color rising to Kurama's cheeks. I felt the same awe I had when looking at Yoko Kurama for the first time.

"Thank you for such a high compliment."

I could only nod, dumbfounded by the series of events.

Kurama shut the book. "If you're ready, you can go home now."

I nodded again. "Will... W-Will you still walk me home now that Saito's gone?"

"Until you ask me to stop."

I smiled. "I'd miss you too much if I did."

•••••

Normally, I would have wished Kurama a good night at my door, but I still had so many questions. Plus, I wanted to take care of his cuts leftover from the fight. He insisted he could take care of it himself. I refused to let him. So there he sat in front of me while I carefully dabbed disinfectant over the cuts on his face.

"I have a question."

Our eyes met for a second.

"Go on."

"Saito said you were the reason I started dating him... why I unknowingly put myself in the hands of a demon. Was he telling the truth?"

"I'm ashamed to tell you it is true."

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and stared into Kurama's remorseful eyes. "So... the memories I have of me and Saito... the friendship... the confession... Those were really memories of you?"

"Yes." Kurama pulled my hand away from his face and held it. "Back then I didn't know he was a threat. He didn't have many friends and I thought he would do well with someone like you in his life."

"But why have me forget you at all?"

"I was afraid." He sighed. "My life was constantly in danger back then and I didn't want you caught in it. Instead, I put you directly in the path of danger."

I took back my hand to continue nursing his wounds. "So... I confessed I had feelings for you."

"You did."

"And you panicked."

"I tried to handle the situation as I thought best."

"But it wasn't best."

"No."

"Did... Did you feel anything for me?"

"At the time I didn't think so."

My hand paused. I didn't look at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I noticed far too late that you were much more important to me than I thought."

"How late?"

"At graduation. You bumped into me running to Saito. You apologized and went right up to him. I felt a hurt I didn't know existed and it was my fault."

I switched to putting a thin coat of an antibiotic salve over his cuts. My eyes stayed on my hand. "I would have been much happier with you..."

"As Yoko, I didn't feel regret. It wasn't until my mother and all her years of struggling to raise an old demon housed inside a human body when I understood it. She cared for me and loved me even when I was at my worst. I thought there could be nothing else I could regret that much until you came along.

"Twice I've failed the women I care most about. I've put myself through years of self-torture because of it. I'm not letting it happen again."

Finally, I looked at him after finishing with the salve. The regret he talked about was heavy in his eyes, but so was his determination.

"Did those feelings you realized too late stick around?"

I watched something ignite in his eyes.

"How would you feel if they did?"

"I would wonder when you plan on taking me out on a date."

"Will you be available tomorrow night?"

"I don't know." I had a lilting tone in my voice. "I think I need to consult with Ichigo." I called out to the fox.

He came bouncing into the bathroom and sat at our feet. I picked him up and held him to my chest. He stared between me and Kurama curiously.

"Your best friend here would like to go on a date with me." I grinned at Kurama for a moment. "Before I give him an answer, I need to know how you feel about it."

Ichigo tilted his head at Kurama.

I pointed at the redhead. "Don't use your bond to feed him an answer."

"I would do no such thing."

"Well, Ichi?" I scratched the top of his head. "What do you think?"

He stared and blinked.

I nuzzled Ichigo's neck and peered over his fluff at Kurama. "He's okay with it, so yes, tomorrow night works." I covered Ichigo's ears. "I was going to say yes anyway."

Kurama's gentle smile made me turn red and hide my face in Ichigo's fur.

I was going on a date with Kurama... and I had never been so excited.

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beautifulletdownfics · 5 years

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harry is fine and nina is fine too: part iii

Nina's late.

She's late and thanks to the puddle she managed to plonk through when crossing the road, she also has wet shoes and socks. The rain trickles a path down the back of her neck as she tripple checks crossing the street, little smatterings making their way onto her face as her umbrella fights off the latest gust of wind.

Leaving her class this afternoon, something in her had thought it would be nice to walk home instead of jumping on the subway like she usually would. She missed the fresh, crisp air of Blackpool and some part of her liked the painful chill that sunk through her. There was something nostalgic about the cold and the wet, and she was missing England with a newfound force since seeing Rodger and Adriana the day before.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Nina calls down the hallway at the front door, “New Yorker’s don’t know how to walk when it's raining. Have you started without me?"

"Just put the meat in, don't stress," Jane was leaning up against the kitchen bench waiting for Nina to appear from the entranceway, "We said seven anyway."

The clock on the wall read 6:45pm.

Nina frowns, "I'm on dinner, I left on time, but you people lose your shit in this weather."

"We're not used to it," Jane defends lightly, "Wine?"

"Please," Nina nods, pulls off her coat and scarf and hangs them over a dining chair, "Is Sarah in yet?" she watches Jane shake her head, "I'll be right back."

Their apartment is tiny, and it's probably too small for the three of them who share it. But it works somehow. Jane and Sarah had been housemates for years before Nina moved into the tiny study, or "third bedroom". It felt nice to move into an established home unit, the three girls did their Friday night dinners once a month and Sunday brunches, and they kept up with each other's lives. It helps ease Nina's homesickness.

It doesn't matter to Nina that her room isn't much bigger than the size of her bed, with only room to shuffle around one side of it to the tiny standing wardrobe in the corner, also touching the bed. She spends most of her days out, and she has found herself suddenly comforted by small spaces. Nina hides in this tiny room on weekend afternoons. She feels as though her world is incredibly small, instead of feeling the chronic and overwhelming sprawling expanse of thousands upon thousands of miles between where she is and where she is from.

"How was work?” Nina asks Jane when she returns to the kitchen, pulling potatoes from a tub under the sink and making sure none of them rolls off the bench before going on the hunt for other vegetables suitable for roasting.

"Fine," Jane replies, "My boss went home at lunch, so we all took off early as well. Did you have a good time with your friends last night?”

Nina’s heart swelled and sunk at the same time if that was possible, “It was so lovely to see them. Saying goodbye sucked.”

Jane looks at her sadly, taking a seat at their small dining table so Nina could monopolise the use of the whole kitchen space. Nina pretends she doesn’t notice the look. She’s tried hard all day not to dwell too much on what it might mean that I was so painful to say goodbye to Rodger. She’s doing her best not to think of everyone else she’s missing too.

"Oh, this one's nice," Nina comments, taking her first sip of wine. "I didn't realise how ready for a weekend I was. I heard earlier the rain is supposed to clear up overnight and tomorrow should be nice and—“

“—I'm home and I brought cake!"

Sarah barrels down the hallway, bags hanging off her arm, her collapsed umbrella raised above her head like a weapon of war. Nina rushes across to save the cake box shoved under Sarah’s arm, the familiar stamp of the bakery Sarah is a pastry chef at stamped over the top.

“It might be a touch soggy,” Sarah says quickly, accidentally hitting the hanging light with her umbrella and scaring herself, “But we can put it in the oven and fix that.”

Nina and Jane laugh at their housemate, she’s dripping wet and yet, red-faced and happy. Nina feels a lightness in her chest that had been wound too tight all day.

Maybe it was the wine.

Two more bottles appear from Sarah’s handbag, “I called both of you, did we need wine?”

Jane claps her hands together, “No but ooh goodie. Does anyone have anything in the morning?”

Nina’s laughing, and it feels good, but there’s something just a whisper from her heart, and it’s bringing tears to her eyes. Laughing with Rodger last night had felt the same, as though she was watching something she knew would disappear again very soon and there was no way to prolong it.

“Wine is probably a terrible idea for me right now,” She confesses, chopping away at the vegetables and trying to keep her voice light.

“Nina’s homesick,” Jane explains to Sarah easily.

Sarah’s dumped everything on the floor by the kitchen door and is tugging at the outer layers of her clothing, there’s a momentary pause as she recalls Nina’s friend’s from home having been in town, “How was last night?”

“Lovely,” Nina responds, “So lovely. They looked tan and happy from their honeymoon.”

“I bet they’ve missed you,” Sarah says in the dangerously disarming way that Nina can never quite match up to the raucous, loud woman she usually is. It’s a small nudge to getting further into Nina’s head.

When she first moved in, Nina had told herself that New York was a fresh start and these two new women in her life wouldn’t be getting Sad Nina. Moving in with Sarah and Jane was an opportunity to make a life in New York that wasn’t tied up in Harry. Nina didn’t want them to know what had happened to her relationship, she couldn’t dwell on it. She refused.

But before she moved in the girls had obviously Googled her to find what they would have thought would just be a Facebook page. They had just wanted to check Nina Lawrence actually existed and was a real human, but they fell upon far more than they had bargained for.

It had been an awkward few first weeks living with them. Mainly because there was no juicy break-up story. Nina had nothing bad to say about Harry.

Not a thing.

He lands in New York and heads straight to the apartment.

It is a minefield of Nina,. He brought it when they were together. Harry sold his place in Los Angeles— because she hated it there and would never travel with him if that was the destination—and instead, he got this apartment in New York.

She always loved this city, and the time they spent together in this apartment was always fun and romantic and settling. Hearing that Nina had moved here had been shocking, but it wasn’t a surprise she had picked New York.

Where Harry’s house in London is old and homey—with nooks and crannies, ornate finishes and a pleasant, comforting undercurrent of quintessential Englishness—the flat in New York is modern and sleek, with an open plan concept that makes Harry feel artistic and languid.

The first thing Harry does when he arrives is open three windows and take the cover off the baby grand piano Nina was furious at him for buying at the time.

He props open the cover and then sits at the bench, lifting the lid off the keys. The smell of the internal wood wafts over him slowly, and Harry tinkers with a few notes before making himself more comfortable in the seat and finding a familiar melody to play through.

He owes her his ability to play the piano so well now. Nina taught Harry herself, and now everything from his posture to the way he no longer watches his hands is wrapped up in her gentle voice, patiently correcting him while holding up his chin with delicate fingers.

Harry watches the pins inside the instrument flick in and out as he plays, striking the corresponding keys, and finally, he has the first hint of doubt hit him about being in New York.

What is he doing? If she needed or wanted him in her life she would have reached out, Nina knew she could call him for anything. Didn’t she? She had to know that.

The thing is though that Harry needs her. He’s tired of missing her. He needs to hear her voice—see her—because he misses her so much that he’s forgotten what not missing Nina feels like. What was it like to just come home and know she would be there? He wants to go back to being able to get through a writing session without having a panic attack.

In eight months of separation, Harry’s not managed to record a single song to completion. He barely makes it through singing through the demo versions. All of it is about her, and it’s like his brain can’t comprehend or sit with the knowledge that Harry and Nina are done, and he’s only ever going to be writing old memories, not making new ones with her.

Hearing from Rodger had scared him. Harry’s worried that Nina isn’t happy. Whatever Rodger saw that led to him calling Harry must have been significant.

Harry’s fingers stop on the piano keys suddenly. He has to call her. Rodger sent through a text after their phone call with Nina’s new phone number. The number Harry has saved wasn’t even right anymore.

The new one is a US number, and Harry’s hands shake, but he knows he has to do it.

He hits call and immediately wants to scream. He’s on his feet and repeating ‘fuck’ under his breath when someone—Nina—picks up.

“Hello, Nina speaking.”

Fuck.

“Nina … It’s Harry.”

“Harry?” Her voice breaks in such a subtle way he nearly misses it, he drops his chin to his chest and shuts his eyes.

“Yeah. Hi.”

Nina doesn’t say anything.

“I’m in New York, and I’d really like to see you.”

Nina’s glad she only had one glass of wine at dinner.

Sarah and Jane have both stopped speaking and are watching Nina with her phone to her ear, not saying anything. They heard her say her ex-boyfriend's name over the conversation about who was going to win The Bachelor.

“Nina?”

“Nina?” Jane repeats what Harry just said in her ear.

Harry.

Nina stands and walks to her room. She shuts her eyes against the closed door and tries to swallow her heart back down to its place.

He repeats her name again and then waits a moment, “Are you there?”

“Yep … You’ve got shows?” Nina hadn’t seen anything about him playing in New York, but then she’s never been brave enough to have a Google news alert for him. She’s scared of what she might see.

Harry coughs, “No. I’m here to see you. If you’ll let me.”

“Let you?”

The notion was almost as ridiculous as the idea Harry might have flown to New York purely to see her.

“You can say you don’t want to,” He sounds hurt, and Nina hates herself for it.

She shakes her head and sits on her bed, “Sorry, I … When will work for you? I’m free most of tomorrow—”

—Tonight. Can I see you now?”

Nina’s petrified. She has no idea how this is happening, how it went from being a Friday where she did all her Friday things and then came home and made Friday night dinner with her housemates, and now she’s on the phone to Harry, and he wants to see her.

She’s dizzy from adrenaline and Nina’s sure the instant she sees him she won’t be able to hold off the tears. Even hearing his voice sets her missing him on fire and fills her with longing.

“I can come to meet you if that’s easier …”

“It’s late,” He says gently, “I’ll come to you. Send me your address?”

#ss extras #drabbles #fic: someday someday #hina

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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631

General Randomness What's the weather like right now? It’s very bright and sunny out, but January is typically one of the colder days of the year so I’m not feeling uncomfortable right now. It’s the perfectly chilly temperature I would have liked to have all year long. What are you currently sitting on? I am sitting on a chair at our dining table, which is usually where I take surveys. How many times have you brushed your teeth today? Just once.

When did you get up? I’ve been up since 8, but didn’t get out of bed until 10.

Have you been in a vehicle for more than 45 minutes today? I haven’t been in a car at all today cos I’ve only stayed home. Angela invited me to go out for some drinks but I didn’t feel like drinking or being out today, so I’ve been home the whole time.

Where is your best friend? I think Angela is at home but I’m sure she’s getting ready to go out for the aforementioned ^ drinking. I’m not sure where Gab is. How many days until Christmas? Oh wow, barely missed it, chief. There are 355ish days left, I’m guessing? Have you kissed someone today? Nope. Is your mom over 50? No, and she still has a year to go. How old were you 7 years ago? I was technically 14, but was about to turn 15 in a few months. Do you know what 'C'est la vie' means? Yep. In Gen Z lingo, it essentially means, ‘it be like that sometimes’ lmao. Do you usually take showers or baths? Showers, because we don’t have bathtubs and also because I find it much more efficient anyway. I only take baths when I’m out of town, in a fancy hotel, and want to pamper myself with bubbles and fancy body wash. What kind of bottoms are you wearing right now? I’m wearing shorts just meant for the home.

Are you wearing anything red? Yes, the pair of shorts I just talked about. What was the name of your first pet? I didn’t keep track of my first goldfish’s name but a good guess would be Goldie. I wasn’t a very creative kid, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that turned out to be right. Do you live in an apartment? Nope. I’ve been living with my parents under their roof. What color is the floor in the room you're in? Cream-ish. What was the most irritating thing to happen to you today? My thesis professor being a headache to talk to. I am genuinely baffled at how she was able to secure a very high position in my university’s administration, considering how erratic she can get. How do you feel about your most recent ex? She’s great. Do you wish at 11:11? No. Do you wish on shooting stars? I would, if they often visited on this side of the world. But they don’t, so. Do you wish on dandelions? No. There aren’t a lot where I live. Are you drinking anything right now? Mmm no, not at the moment. I finished my coffee a little while ago and while I want to make a second cup to keep myself awake, I have an early morning tomorrow so I’d want to sleep early tonight. It’s back to work for me, ugh. About how tall is your father? Not too tall. He’s like, 5′5 or 5′6. How old is your oldest living grandparent? I only know the age of one grandparent, and that’s my 73 year old maternal grandmother. I don’t get to see my paternal grandparents a lot cos they live quite far, so with that comes my insufficient knowledge about them. Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? Gab’s great-grandmother, but she passed away last November. Have you had your birthday yet this year? Nope. There’s been a mere three days into the year, so very few people would already have had their birthdays hahaha. Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? No. You do you, but I was never a fan. It’s also a pet peeve when people use their star sign as excuses for their shitty behavior. “Sorry I acted up, I’m a Scorpio,” “I hate everybody because I’m an Aquarius,” “I ghosted them because I’m a Cancer” no it’s because you’re a bitch, Karen. Do you like the color yellow? I hate it a bit less than green (my least favorite color) only because I love the song Yellow by Coldplay and because mustard yellow isn’t that bad of a color. Are you an aunt or uncle? If my friends start having kids soon, then I’ll be an aunt. Why is your best friend your best friend? They both understand my weirdness and all my quirks and never made me feel like I was being judged. What is your hair like at the moment? Tbh it matches my top pretty well so as frizzy as my hair is at the moment, it still looks good with the tank top I have on lolol. How many times have you donated blood this year? Zero. I’m scared of needles, and even if I get over that phobia I wouldn’t be able to donate anyway because I’m underweight. Are you wearing any jewelry? No, not right now. Are you a video-gamer? I wouldn’t call myself that. I play GTA just to be a law-abiding citizen and not actually do the missions lol, I get tired of playing The Sims after ten minutes, and I only play a handful of Nintendo games. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? My mom’s brother and his then-fiancee, now one of my favorite aunts except for the facts that she’s a hardcore Duterte supporter and Marcos apologist. Do you like Chinese food? Yep, it’s one of my favorite cuisines. How far is the nearest Walmart? I can’t walk nor drive to it, that’s for sure. Have you ever been a designated driver? I’m always DD by default because I’m the only one among my friends who has a car other than JM, who also has a (much bigger) car but is terribly low-tolerance and will absolutely pass out. I get tipsy easily as well, but I sober up real quick and always make sure I’m 100% back to reality by the time I drive. Which means that I typically have to stop drinking earlier than the rest of my friends, but so long as that means I get to take everyone back home safe, it’s okay with me. What is something that always brings tears to your eyes? My mom yelling at me. Who is your 20th phone contact? My contacts aren’t numbered thus I’m too lazy to count manually. Do you have any plans to get a tattoo? It’s not completely off the table, but I’ve definitely toned down my original plans of getting tattoo sleeves and getting myself generally covered a la CM Punk (and I have to tell ya, I’m so glad I grew out of that phase). These days I prefer to have small tattoos to memorialize significant people or events, and some of my plans include my dog’s pawprint and a plate of nachos. Or a new piercing? Probably not. What would your name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Brown. If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? Yes. I hate the unknown and would rather be certain, no matter how ugly or nasty the certainty holds. Do you make your bed regularly? Every morning. Do you look forward to the weekend? NO. I have a 2-day meeting for my 2-day weekend. I am so dreading it. I just want to stay a lazy couch blob for another week. How much do you know about the mechanics of cars? I know how to turn a car on, go forward, reverse, brake, and open my gas tank... and that’s about it. Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? Model and beauty queen, yeah. How old was your mom when she had you? She was 26, but was turning 27 that year. Do rainy days get you down? No. I thrive on rainy days lmao. Who is the artist/band you're listening to at the moment? No music keeping me company at the moment. Do you ever take aspirin when you 'feel a headache coming on'? Not aspirin but I take a Biogesic. I dunno if those two or the same thing or not. Is there a calendar in the room you're in? Nope. Do you prefer to be in a relationship or be single? I’ve been seeing a person for technically six years, so now I prefer a relationship after being accustomed to having one for so long. If you're single, do you wish you were in a relationship? Have you ever had your heart broken? Sure. Do you live within an hour of the beach? No. I’m very far away from the beach :( How do you like your steak? Rare or medium-rare. Were you born in the 1980s? I was not. A Few Firsts What was the first sound you heard when you woke up? I woke up to the sound of my mom calling me on my phone. I was half-asleep and didn’t feel like answering, so I muted it and went back to sleep. I feel guilty now that I remember, but she didn’t call back or text me so it probably wasn’t a big deal. Who was your first best friend? It was a girl named Kaye from kinder. We were good friends for like two years, and then we got sorted to different sections in Prep and drifted apart after that. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve said her name so many times on these surveys already. Y’all know. Who was your first date to a formal dance? I haaaateeeeed the idea of asking guys out and being in a relationship for most of high school, so I made sure I only asked my cousin for my prom. How bad was your first break up? Pretty messed up. There was a lot of tension and resentment and confusion in the beginning. Throw in my grandfather’s sudden death and me taking the UPCAT, and you have my mental health completely rattled! What was your first favorite movie? High School Musical, for sure. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. What was your first trip to the emergency room for? My platelet count was really low, I was in danger of getting dengue, and had to stay the night at the hospital. Then there was sticking the IV onto my wrist, upon which I made a complete scene in the emergency room and thrashed and kicked around while my (very frail) grandma (sorry, Lola) tried to hold me down with a lot of patients watching lol. Where was the first place you went today? The kitchen. Who was the first person you saw? My sister, I think. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? I wondered why my mom called, realized I was too sleepy to care, and went back to bed. Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? Yupppp. I was in third grade, my club had an overnight camping thingy as its culmination activity, and it was the first time ever that I was allowed to spend the night somewhere else. I remember being around a campfire, roasting marshmallows for the first time, having to share a sleeping mat with Katreen, and her kicking me in her sleep.

Where was your first big vacation to? Boracay. What was your first job? None yet. I’ll make sure to update you by the end of the year. What was the first thing you had to drink today? Coffee.

Some Lasts Where was the location of your last kiss? My girlfriend’s car, when she dropped me back at my place. How old was the last person you kissed? 21. What was the last movie you rented? I’ve never experienced renting a movie, which definitely confirms my status as a Gen Z kid lmao. But I can tell you that the last movie I watched was Knives Out. Where was the last place you went? Other than around my house, we went to church last Tuesday night for New Year’s Eve mass. What was the last restaurant you went to? Yabu. Who was the last person to call you? My mom, this morning. Who was the last non-relative you spoke in person to? Gabie. What was the last thing you bought? I got dinner from Yabu, haha. When was the last time you drove more than an hour somewhere? December 14th. That evening was INSANE. It was Saturday + Christmas traffic, and it took me two hours to travel from Antipolo to Rita’s place in Makati. JM and I drove separately cos we were a big group - his drive took FOUR hours. Why did you last get angry? My thesis prof was doing us so fucking dirty and I couldn’t do anything about it. What color was the last vehicle you rode in? Blue-green. How long ago was your last birthday? NIne months. When did it last rain? It drizzled a little bit yesterday. What was the age difference between you and your most recent ex? A month and a half. When was the last time you used a dictionary? Maybe an hour ago for a word I used in a past survey lol. Mini iPod Shuffle: Don't Cheat, Use Whatever Song Comes Up, No Matter How Ridiculous (I have several playlists, so I’ll just use the Spotify-curated playlist made for Gab’s account called Your Top Songs 2019 hahahaha) My love song: Love song - Lana Del Rey (Wow.) My fight song: Swim Against the Tide - The Japanese House My break-up song: New Light - John Mayer The song for when I'm sad: Money - Leikeli47 The song for when I'm angry: Constant Conversations - Passion Pit My song to have sex to: Bad Girls - Tennis The song about my ex: Just the Same But Brand New - St. Vincent The song about my best friend: Juice - LIZZO The song about my crush: Seventeen - no rome My 'feel good' song: Venice Bitch - Lana Del Rey The theme song of my life: Formation - Beyoncé I literally know four of these songs, which I’ve since bolded just so y’all know that I have no idea what the other seven songs are and if they make sense with the situations at hand. Gab clearly uses her account more than I do, which should be the case anyway lmfaoooooo.

#survey #surveys

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