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scath001 · 4 years

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Whump Prompt 170

I have a plot idea which I may develop into a full story and of which as you read this post you’ll witness the deterioration of what remains of my dysfunctional brain at 3 am in the morning. So! What is it about? Well...

The story goes as this:

The whumpee and caregiver are neighbours. The whumpee lives a floor above the caregiver’s apartment and they are good friends and perhaps the two even have a little crush for each other. Who knows? They certainly don’t.

Of course, despite them being really close friends, they have their own issues and disagreements. The whumpee is a known crybaby who after they encountered the whumper; they have lost who they once were, now reduced to a sobbing mess most of the time. It’s as if crying is all they ever know and it’ll fix their problems somehow. Now, the caregiver doesn’t know about the whumper- hell, they don’t even know the existence of this person. The whumpee never really shared in detail about the whumper to them and besides, the caregiver only came to know about the whumpee a few years after they were free from the whumper. Hence the caregiver has only known the whumpee as the person they are; a crybaby.

Over time the caregiver starts to get frustrated and stressed out by the whumpee’s behaviour. It also doesn’t help that the caregiver has their own personal issues to deal with to on top of caring for the whumpee. So they leave for a while; a few weeks to a couple of months.

The caregiver kinda dreads coming back to their apartment, wondering if they are ready to face the mess and chaos that is the cry baby whumpee that they know just after having to deal with a near loss of their family. But to their surprise, they find that the whumpee has changed drastically from when they left. First catching a glimpse of the whumpee late night, outside the bar nearby when arriving home, working as a bartender- something that they could never be given how much they used to shy away from the company of others. Now seeing the whumpee with 1. a job, and 2. a job that demanded great people skills... the caregiver wonders if what they’ve witness is real.

When the whumpee hears of the caregiver’s return, they seemingly light up like a puppy when their owner finally returns home. The next evening after work, the whumpee rushes to their neighbour’s front door only to stop themselves from knocking the door, fixing their hair and clothes. They remember the day the caregiver left, and it honestly still hurts the whumpee. But the whumpee puts on a smile and decides to play it cool, meeting the caregiver.

From their subsequent encounters- by that I mean; the whumpee being all charismatic and causally flirting with the caregiver, teasing the caregiver’s flustered reactions, always smiling and joking about. I also mean, the whumpee treating the caregiver’s house like their own and just crashing in randomly, cleaning up the house from time to time and especially cooking meals for them because it’s a known fact that the caregiver can’t cook anything but cup noodles and brew herbal/ medicinal tea.

During this period the caregiver feels extremely confused and has absolutely no idea how to feel about this current situation. Deep down they feel that something is amiss with the whumpee’s behaviour, now someone of a stranger to them, a performer wearing a mask, now no longer crying over the thing that they would back then... No. The whumpee never cries now. The caregiver feels a like sick; isn’t this what they wanted? Shouldn’t they be happy for the whumpee who’s better now? They were tired of babying them after all. They left. But a part of the caregiver feels hurt too. Perhaps the whumpee didn’t need them after all.

Still the caregiver rolls with what they are given, dismissing the thought of something amiss only to regret it soon enough. They were right, but could never prove it or confront the whumpee about it, let alone find time to do so when they worked in the day and the whumpee working at night most of the time. However, they’d try time and time again, trying to sit the whumpee down for a conversation about the incident but the whumpee always cleverly evades the topic with a dismissive shrug of “things just change” or a causal joke of them being a crybaby back then. In truth of course, the whumpee’s scared shitless that if their mask cracks and they mess up the caregiver would leave them for good.

(holy crap this is long but there’s more)

It gets to a point where the whumpee lies to the caregiver, covering up and hiding wounds or their emotional hurt when the caregiver pushes them away. The whumpee holds tears back, maybe they do break from time to time but only alone in the dark and never where anyone can witness them do so.

Now. Of course. The drama we’ve been waiting for. The whumper is back in town! YEA BABYYYYY! Yes evil old whumper dude/ dudette is back and with more energy than ever to torment the whumpee. From sending threatening notes to maybe stalking them and definitely beating them up or injuring the whumpee in some way for form. They leave the whumpee alone again once they are bored of them and the whumpee picks themselves up, painfully making their way back home exhausted, afraid and beaten. They immediately crash once home, back at their own apartment, silently sobbing into bloody sheets and curling up, eventually passing out due to their exhaustion. The next few days, the whumpee takes a few days off to recover alone, starting with patching themselves up, cleaning up the bloodied sheets, etc.

The caregiver meanwhile, oblivious of what’s going on, wonders what happened to the whumpee. For someone who now “visits”- more like crashes into the caregiver’s house randomly cooking meals and now enjoys flirting at the them shamelessly, their sudden disappearance rubs the caregiver the wrong way. Still due to the whumpee’s current unpredictable behaviour and their busy schedule, the caregiver shrugs it off. (“Maybe the whumpee’s forgotten about me?” “Ah well, this is probably normal now, they are probably just busy.”) That is, until their concern grows painfully unbearable and they finally visit the whumpee a few days later they got beaten up.

They stand at the door shocked at the sight of a rather tired, whumpee. Their sink pale, littered with now purplish- blue bruises along with a bunch of gauzes covering abrasions and healing open wounds. The whumpee looks as though they havent been sleeping well, dark circles under their slightly redden eyes. Did they cry? Or was that just a symptom of them having difficulties resting?

The caregiver gingerly reaches out, still looking horrified while the whumpee pulls and exhausted smile. They ask the whumpee for an explanation in which of course, the whumpee lies, not wanting to burden the caregiver with their problems, dismissing it with a joke. “Oh these? Just had one hell of a night >;3″

But the caregiver simply looks on unamused, uninterested in buying their bullshit this time which lead the whumpee to roll their eyes casually, “Alright fine, I didn’t. You caught me. Ju- just fell off my bike on the way back home that’s all. No biggie.”

The caregiver looks on sadly, their instincts screaming at them that it’s a lie but they ultimately decide not to chase it upon the sight of the whumpee’s state. Still, it hurts them immensely to see the whumpee suffering alone, unable to share their pain through the barriers they’ve helped built. Overwhelm with guilt and sorrow, the caregiver gets emotional and breaks. They crack, tears welling up in their eyes and the whumpee smiles apologetically, reaching out for a hug. That’s when the caregiver breaks completely, crumbling into a sobbing mess in the whumpee’s arms as the latter mutters apologies and tries to soothe the caregiver’s crying.

With enough time, the caregiver eventually cries themselves to exhaustion and the whumpee tenderly tucks the caregiver into their bed, covering their friend with a blanket while the take the sofa in their living room curled up, and tired to the bone but still having trouble with sleep. The whumpee does get sleep in the end, albeit not much at all. When they wake, they find the blanket draped over themselves and the caregiver no where to be found. (They had gone for work.) The whumpee also finds some takeaways and medication on their dinning table along with a note under a thermal flask of herbal tea from the caregiver.

Yup. That’s the idea. But wait, there’s MoRe?! (I’ll be discussing them in the next post since this one is getting a little too long rip. Also, 4 am, hurrah! hooza!)

#whump #whumpee #whumper #caregiver #whumpee x caregiver #whump prompt #angst #past trauma #emotional whump #psychological whump #beaten up #injuries #hiding feelings #hiding wounds

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iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years

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persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :((( so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff. joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

#my writing #p3 #p4 #p5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #ren #futaba #souji #hamuko #minato #vibes straight thru the sun #i sincerely hope the read more works #im so srry for grammar problems #i literally cant read rn

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alohadvn808 · 3 years

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Thoughts 12:20

yes, another one of those late night, cant sleep moments. i wanted to just write on my journal, but its somewhere in my room and i dont really want to go looking for it. anyway, ever since i did what i did yesterday i haven’t been okay. i guess its the guilt? idk, right now there are too many things in my head again and i just need to decompress.

i miss my partner so much. i get it, we have a way of contacting each other and all but at the same time you can blame me for still wanting to be with him all the time. oh yeah, i got a boyfriend, that’ll be another story time for later. let’s get back on track shall we. i have been thinking about moving the past few weeks and i haven’t really had a solid answer yet. there are too many questions i keep asking myself. am i financially ready? am i doing it for me? am i okay to do such a big step in my life? am i running away from something? more and more questions but i feel like these are the things that keeps coming in to my head most of the time. that and i guess the stress ive been getting from work? dont get me wrong, i love my job and my team, im just not sure if im getting paid enough doing the things i do for the company. i guess thats most of the stress thats in my head and i just cope with it by smoking again and doing what i did yesterday. i think i really need to stop. doing both. but i think i need to stop what i did yesterday. i guess i need to remind myself that i cant find happiness by doing that. maybe a temporary pleasure but not ideal. my life has changed so much the past few months and its been a rollercoaster ride. had a lot of good moments, but the bad ones keep coming back to haunt me and i dont like. i keep telling myself its a choice and i keep choosing to make a mistake a lot. thats also something i say all the time is that you learn from your mistakes and i feel like sometimes repeats are just me being plain stupid. that needs to change if i really want to make things work.

i need to stop doing things i shouldnt be doing for my sake for the people around me. i feel like i do so much that i forget to decompress and not keep everything in. i havent had a good cry or release and i really think i need that right now. i guess writing has been out of list lately and i think i need to do that again. either on my journal or here. this has been my safe place for a while and i think i need to keep writing. i get it, this could become temporary too but im hoping that i get a warning if this gets taken away. anyway, i have work at 430am and i need to get some rest. yeah yeah, i wasted my time watching netflix this whole time but whatever. goodnight. ill be back to write down more of my thoughts later. i think i really need to.

#life #choices #depression #anxiety #late night thoughts

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bobbyischill · 5 years

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My Relationship With Andi Mack

Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, my GSA advisor was telling me and a friend about a Disney Channel show. She hadn’t watched it yet, but apparently one of the main characters had just come out as gay! I was really happy for Disney and glad that queer kids all over the world had someone like them to look up to. However, I, a 15 year old, a mature teenager, wouldn’t really enjoy a kids show, right? So I went about the rest of my day without giving it a second thought....

Until I went home and opened up Tumblr. One of the first posts I saw was someone giving props to Disney for making such a diverse, inclusive show that was actually GOOD. They said it reminded them of Girl Meets World, except it was a million times better and diverse. Okay fine, I thought. I guess I’ll check out Andi Mack. (BOOYY I HAD A BIG STORM COMING)

I opened up my iPad around 10:30pm and decided to watch an episode or two, depending on how tired I was. After the very first episode, I recognized that this show was special. Like, REALLY special. The characters were fleshed out and unique. There was the “twist” about Bex being Andi’s mom. The friendships and relationships felt real. I knew I was going to binge the whole show that night.

That night, as I continued on with the show, I fell in love with each one of them. They all had their own quirks, they were all nuanced. I fell in love with how competitive, protective to a fault, and caring Buffy was. I fell in love with how awkward and goofy and relatable Cyrus was. I fell in love with how kind and oblivious Jonah was. I fell in love with how hard-working and funny Andi was, and how much she cared about certain things and the people around her. I fell in love with the dynamics between certain characters and how they were always changing. I loved how it tackled racism in school (Buffy had to change her hair or be sent home), how unfair dress codes are to students (especially girls), how you need to take a stand for what you believe in (the prison uniforms), and how stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, even if you get hurt (Andi watching a horror movie and being terrified, but not regretting it). This was all in the first season.

This show already meant so much to me. And then Cyrus looked back at Jonah. In the words of Jonah Beck, “I cried”. Just that hint of representation was more than I had ever scene on Disney or any other show marketed to kids.

And then Cyrus came out to Buffy. I, a pansexual who was out to my friends but not any of my family and who still struggled with intense internalized homophobia, burst into tears. I related to how ashamed and afraid Cyrus looked. I needed to hear Buffy’s heartfelt response. “You may be weird, but you’re no different.” That phrase was constantly bouncing through my head for at least the next few days (and if I’m being honest, it still is). I wrote it all over my notes and assignments because it was literally all I could think about for such a long time. I saw the sign on the wall that said “G: for General Audiences.” That showed me that Disney (or at least Terri Minsky, my queen) truly felt that I wasn’t a freak. I didn’t need to hide my identity from anyone if I didn’t want to. My identity wasn’t a mature subject; it was for general audiences. (Also, I just want to add that Sofia and Josh’s acting in this scene was absolutely fantastic. It was so raw and emotional, and it still makes me cry every time I see it.)

And then in that same episode Cyrus and Buffy talked about his crush on Jonah. They did it so casually, and my mind was blown. At this point, I had honestly never seen so much gay representation in a show as this.

That night, I stayed up until 5am. I was rewatched Cyrus’s coming out scene about 10 times. I fangirled about it on Tumblr. I added “Tomorrow Starts Today” to my Spotify playlist. I even wrote a diary entry about it. (I only write in my diary when I’m feeling very intense emotions that I need to write down in order to figure out.)

The next day at school, I told all my Gay Friends about Andi Mack and how amazing it was. A few of them got into it, and it was fun talking to them about it, but after a while I was pretty heavily hyperfixated on it and I needed more. And I felt like I was bothering my followers with constant posts about how much I loved Andi Mack. So I made this blog. @cyrus-made-tshirts. I haven’t changed the name since. That’s how I became an official part of the friendom.

I love this fandom. I don’t even know many people personally or have made many friends through it, but this fandom was everything to me. I loved the posts, the crackhead theories, josh’s account. I loved the crackships, the real ships, the overanalyzing of every line, of every movement, of every promo. I loved watching the reactions on YouTube. I loved making posts about the show and having hundreds of people relate to it or find it funny, especially the gay ones. My very first post to get more than 50 notes was one about how Miranda and Bex would make a cute couple (this was before Miranda was revealed to be a snake.)

For the past year and a half, Andi Mack has been my life. I have survived the many ship wars. I have survived the months-long hiatuses. I have survived the ominous tweets and posts Josh has made and the frenzy of panicking everywhere that followed it. And I have loved every minute of it.

I’ve seen these characters I love grow up before my eyes. They’ve all changed and evolved and matured so much. There’s so much more representation since I started watching the show. There’s a character with a learning disability, characters with anxiety, a homeless character, a deaf character. There’s been multiple episodes celebrating Jewish and Chinese culture. I’ve seen Cyrus go from nervously nodding in agreement that he liked a boy to unprovokingly telling his friend he liked that boy to flat-out telling his ex-crush he is gay to holding hands with his crush in public. I’ve seen all of Cyrus’s friends support him unconditionally. I’ve seen him find his happily ever after (for middle school, at least).

And then the last episode aired. I knew I was never going to be prepared for it, but HOLY SHIT, it’s over. And the finale was like a fanfiction it was so good. I watched it live on Thursday night at midnight. I freaked out about it online for three hours, then watched it on Disney Now. I pulled an all-nighter because I just kept rewatching it online until Friday night, when I watched it air on Disney. The way Cyrus and TJ sang Born This Way with the rest of the characters cured my depression, cleared my skin, and watered my crops. The bench scene was so fucking beautiful and romantic it caused me to hyperventilate. The acting from both Luke and Josh was incredible. Honestly, Luke crushed it the entire time as TJ and the bench scene was the icing on top. This scene meant more to met than some people could ever know.

A couple months ago, I was in a pretty shit place emotionally and mentally. Literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself was the guilt of leaving my friends and family behind. I needed another reason to stay, something to keep me grounded. And that reason became Andi Mack. I promised myself I would live to see the day Tyrus became canon. And I did it. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m not going to do anything stupid now that Tyrus has become canon (TYRUS HAS BECOME CANON!!! AAKDBEISSHSB I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED THAT YET!!!!). But at the time, I really needed Andi Mack to help me keep fighting. And it was there for me. And I will always be indebted to it for my life.

This show has helped me in so many other ways. It’s helped me drastically reduce my internalized homophobia. It’s given me a community of people that understand me. It’s created so many characters that I love. So thank you to Terri Minsky for creating this show and amazing characters that I will love forever. Thank you to Disney for funding it and not completely censoring it. Thank you to the crew for working tirelessly to make this happen. Thank you to Peyton, Emily, Asher, Josh, Luke, Lilan, Trent, Garren, Sofia, and every other actor for pouring their heart into this show. A special thank you to Josh and Luke for making me feel safe and loved and for caring so much about their story arcs. (And their political activism is pretty awesome, too.)

I’m really going to miss screaming about this show with you guys. I really hope that some people keep creating fanart and fanfics and keep making memes and crackships. I hope the friendom never dies. Because every one of you is so special and fun to hang out with online. And I’m really gonna miss it. And now I’m crying, and this is getting WAYYY too long, so I’m gonna stop talking now lmao. But I want to say this show has changed me in so many ways and I’m grateful to every single person involved, including the amazing friendom. I’ll love you all forever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#andi mack #thank you #thank you so much andi mack #my relationship with andi mack #personal

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futurewriter2000 · 5 years

Note

Hello Love💜 it's been a hot minute lel...how are you? I've been hella busy the past few days. Had 3 exams in one week, had to prepare for my last class trip to Rome that starts on Wednesday and I went to my friend's house and got super wasted... I didnt have school today and I dont wanna go to school tomorrow either🙄😴 now tell me about your past week. Do you have like fall holiday? Cuz I do and I'm gonna work the entire time yay. Love u bby💜💜💜

Hi 💜

Well, I'm okay and sweaty bc its so sunny here and I wore all black and walked home on foot. I'm really anxious as well bc I have so much school work to do and this friend is pressuring me to go out with her and I don't want to bc I have loads of stuff to do but if I don't go, she'll do this guilt trip on me which I hate.

Also I feel you on the exam thing bc I have loads coming up next week and the week after that. Shit is crazy tbh.

And I cant believe youre going to Rome. Thats close to my country! Its actually right next to my country but ok. I always wanted to visit Rome and one day I will. I fucking will.

My past week has been like kind of a wack. I havent done much. I went out with my best friend, I went to visit my cousins for the weekend. I had school. I finished a book. OMG YESTERDAY I BOUGHT LIKE 5 BOOKS FOR 15€! LIKE YES!

My Autumn holidays start next month last week of October and fun fact. We don't call them fall holidays-I mean we do but we also call them *drum roll please* POTATO HOLIDAYS. Why? Well thats a great question. Its actually germanic origing. Back in the good ol days kids took that week of holidays off so they could harvest the potatoes back on their farm. Theres more to the the story but you know in a nutshell it's that.

Anyways, hope you have fun on your trip to Rome. I'll wave at you from my Slovenian window.

All the love 💜 - T

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winterironbang · 6 years

Text

Second Round of Claims

Below you will find the names and descriptions of the entered pieces of art, please take care to read through them and be aware of any warnings when thinking about which piece it is you wish to claim. Make sure to have two in mind when choosing as your first choice may already be taken.

To claim a piece of art, send an email to [email protected] with the titles of your top two favourites.

I’ve just had a few people tell me they sent in asks trying to claim work but I have no record of them, from now on please claim via email only. If you have sent in an ask and not had an email with one of the drafts you claimed, please email me. I have sent out the drafts to everyone that I have seen a claim from so far, if you havent got a draft in you inbox your claim may not have come through, please consider claiming one of the works still available.

I’m so sorry about this, I’m not sure why I haven’t been recieving those asks and I do apologise to everyone it has effected.

Title: By my side Description/Prompt: Tony and Bucky have been in a secret relationship for a while. After Civil War events, they talked things out and after some time everything turned right for them. They can’t see each other so easily because of the Sokovia Accords, so they take advantage of every second they spend together. It has been four months since last time they saw each other, Tony noticed he has been followed lately and had to stop their meetings. Tony, despites everything, have been working on a way to change some things on the accords to also protect heroes, he wants to help Bucky and the others so they can stop being fugitives, wanting a normal life with the one he loves and wanting the world to be a better place with heroes protecting it. He planned a meeting in Wakanda to discuss the issue with T'Challa and also using that as an excuse to see Bucky again. Bucky thinks it’s time to tell everyone about their relationship, but Tony is still reluctant about it, he wants everything to be solved first. Warnings: Explicit Limitations: I don’t want: unhappy ending, cheating, death of Bucky or Tony, bashing any character. A/N: It’s based on MCU~ Love the idea of them having this kind of pure love inside some sort of forbidden relationship. Not only for what had happened between them, also because of the accords. The art is a moment they share together after the meeting in Wakanda. Hope you like it~

Title: Exposure Description/Prompt: Set of 2 drawings. Setting: sci-fi/android AU? 1. A digital drawing/painting of a Winter Soldier-esque Bucky, wearing a lower face mask, carrying a wounded Tony in his arms. It’s darkly lit, and he’s standing knee deep in reflective water. Tony’s chest cavity is exposed, showing metal and wiring. There’s a faint glow of the arc reactor. 2. A digital drawing/painting of a shirtless Tony about to kiss Bucky over his face mask. There’s smoke venting out of Bucky’s face mask. Warnings: N/A Limitations: Would prefer if there wasn’t solely pre-slash, or include major character death, infidelity, dub/non con, or unhappy ending. A/N: Drafts are not finalized so looking forward to working with the author to fill in details!

Title: Post-apocalyptic Description/Prompt: Post-apocalyptic AU! Scrappy mechanic Tony meets badass loner and fighter Bucky (with a clunky metal arm)? Maybe some getting to know (and later: trust) each other and surviving (together?) in a hostile world? Trying to make a living? Warnings: - Limitations: Bucky and Tony should survive. No sad ending. A/N: The art is a design for Bucky. Optional art: Bucky watching over a sleeping Tony. Let’s brainstorm together.

Title: A Quiet Evening in Description/Prompt: It’s hard to braid your hair one handed. Thankfully Tony doesn’t mind lending his hands and his cats, Dum-E, U, and Butterfingers don’t mind having someone extra around the apartment to spoil them. Warnings: None Limitations: Would prefer no pwp

Title: Snow White/ Fantasy AU Description/Prompt: Huntsman Bucky is sent out to assassinate Prince Tony in the woods and bring his heart to King Obie. The problem? Prince Tony turns out pretty hard to kill, and his heart is a price worth way way more than Bucky could have imagined. Not to mention the hunter is haunted by his own demons… One drawing is of the two fighting in the woods, the other of Huntsman Bucky crouching, (his dragon arm showing), and having a L'Oreal hair moment. Warnings: violence (semi-graphic? they are fighting - there’s no blood, but non-sexy choking) Limitations: please no damsel-in-distress Tony, character bashing, and dub/non-con A/N: You can take the prompt or leave it, (although I’d love some huntsman Bucky and maybe technomancer Tony) and I would love to help you brainstorm and cheer you on. I generally like traumatized Bucky more than pre-war Bucky but I’m open for everything. :)

Title: Noir Description/Prompt: Iron Man Noir AU with Tony and Bucky standing arm in arm on Tony’s airship, looking down at the clouds. They lean into each other. Warnings: none Limitations: MCD, darkfic, A/N: I would love to talk about it all.

Title: Not really a villain Description/Prompt: Tony knows about the Winter Soldier: He’s an assassin, often working for Hydra. He has killed or maimed politicians and secret agents alike, most recently he’d been after Alexander Pierce. Everyone knows about Iron Man: He’s a villain, although some people want to call him vigilante. He blows up Stark Industries’ facilities and takes apart crime syndicates. When they meet, it seems unlikely that their goals align, but they might have more in common than they know. But, you can’t just trust a villain, can you? Picture: In a dark room, Iron Man is aiming a repulsor at the Winter Soldier. The soldier is almost hidden in the darkness of the room, looking serious, and armed with knife and gun. Warnings: Limitations: Please let it end somewhat happy. Please no MCD, or actually evil Tony and Bucky. A/N: brainstorming together is one of my favourite things.

Title: Concubine AU Description/Prompt: When Bucky gets sold as a concubine, he already knows how this works: keep your head down and hope his new master doesn’t notice him too much. Getting noticed either brings pain, or pain and… other attention. Slowly, he notices that King Stark is not at all like the rumors suggested… The art is Bucky, posing with some jewellery and revealing clothes. Warnings: partial nudity? Limitations: No dubcon or noncon between Bucky and Tony, dark Tony, major character death, or too much gore. A/N: Dark themes are fine though. Maybe some pain, some recovery? I usually like stories where they grow to love each other before they end up having sex. Stuckony is also an option. I’d love to talk about ideas and plot!

Title : Fateful Encounters Description/Prompt : Iron Man AU Tony and Bucky meet at the gala. Bucky is a businessman like Tony. They end up liking each other a lot. Everyone is human. Bucky likes riding bikes just like Tony loves cars. Tony becomes iron man but he himself destroys the suit after Stane is dead. He doesn’t believe the world needs that kind of technology. Stark industries also goes into making better medical equipment’s. So, the only ones who know about him being iron man are Rhodey, Pepper and later Bucky. Iron man becomes an urban legend of sorts. They date for a while and when they decide to move things further it’s very special for both of them. Bucky is extremely proud to learn that his boyfriend had been iron man. He realizes that himself as he spends time with Tony. A year or two later Tony develops MCU stabilized extremis and gets rid of the arc reactor. This knowledge he does share with the medical community. Warnings : No Warnings Limitations : I don’t want these two pairings in the story in any way or form. Not even a slight mention. Not even as a joke or an offhand comment. Nothing. Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff Tony Stark and Sunset Bain No Steve and Loki bashing. If the latter isn’t even in the story, that’s fine. No cheating, non-con, child abuse and alcohol abuse. A/N : Happy ending for the story. And there are two more pieces of art.

Title: Long Distance Disaster [working title] Description/Prompt: Still struggling with guilt and/or due to pressure from the government, Bucky agrees to go on a long term mission to space. Tony is very unhappy to be left alone. Long distance relationships are tough; even more so when Bucky’s mission ends in a fiery crash leaving Bucky seriously injured and Tony afraid that he’s about to lose the love of his life. Format: Video, expected final length roughly 4:30 minutes. Clips primarily drawn from Iron Man (1, 2, and 3), The Soloist, Political Animals, The Martian, and Gossip Girl. Audio drawn from the same sources as the clips, as well as Ally McBeal, and the song “If There’s A Rocket Tie Me To It” by Snow Patrol. Warnings: Established relationship, guilt, near-death-experience/serious injury, relationship drama, hospitals, angst. Limitations: Happy endings only. I’d strongly prefer that either Civil War never happened, or the fic is set far enough past it that it doesn’t come up at all. No bashing of other characters/ships, especially Pepper and Tony should be on good/friendly terms if she’s around in the fic. A/N: I’d love to brainstorm/discuss the fic. I tried to leave it as flexible and open as possible and I don’t expect the fic to necessarily follow the video exactly.

Title : Fools in love Description/Prompt : Bucky and Tony have a friends with benefits kind of relationship. Bucky went through a very bad break up with his boyfriend and it hurts Tony to see him like that. He’d liked him for a while. They end up sleeping together and come to an arrangement of sorts. Tony is literally like : I’ll take what I can get. He is not going to burden Bucky with his feelings when he is going through such a hard time. Tony is usually sad and he’s virgin too. One day it gets too much and Bucky sort of shouts at Tony. Tony starts crying. Bucky realizes he loves Tony and berates himself for not realizing Tony had always loved him. They are both engineers and enjoy reading a lot. They are in their twenties. Warnings : No Warnings Limitations : I don’t want these two pairings in the story in any way or form. Not even a slight mention. Not even as a joke or an offhand comment. Nothing. Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff Tony Stark and Sunset Bain No Steve and Loki bashing. If the latter isn’t even in the story, that’s fine. No cheating, non-con, child abuse and alcohol abuse. A/N : Happy ending for the story. And there are two more pieces of art.

Title: Winter Piano Teacher [working title] Description/Prompt: Concerned for her son, Maria Stark decides that Tony needs more in his life than computers and robots. Little does she know that HYDRA has taken the opportunity to install a sleeper agent in the Stark household. Tony certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with his enigmatic, volatile piano tutor. Format: Video, expected final length roughly 2 minutes. Clips and audio primarily drawn from Political Animals, Ally McBeal, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, piano instrumental music, and “The Winter Soldier” theme. Warnings: brainwashing, deception, implied abuse, typical winter soldier stuff Limitations: In this AU I do not want Bucky to be responsible for the Stark parents’ death. Happy endings only. Tony cannot be younger than 17; I would prefer he be 21. A/N: I would love to brainstorm/talk over the fic together. I have 2-3 of “fixed points” of the plot that are important to me but I tried to leave as much of it open to the author’s discretion as possible. You don’t have to follow everything shown in the video exactly.

Title: Mob Mentality Description/prompt: Comic panel style. First panel sees Steve, Bucky, and Natasha entering. All look angry. There is evidence of blood on them. Second panel shows bound hands, obviously injured and bleeding from the ropes that tie them. Third panel has a furious Bucky screaming ,”Where is he?!” Fourth shows Tony looking down, distraught, but he raises his head at something, saying “Bucky?” Last panel isn’t sketched out quite yet, but I plan to have them embracing. Warnings: Blood, though not gallons of it or anything. Implied violence that is off panel. Limitations: Happy ending. No infidelity. No graphic or gratuitous torture. No death of main characters. A/N: I personally headcanon this as a Mob AU (as evidenced by the name) but I would be happy with any story the art inspires! Art

Title: Rocket Science Description/Prompt: Tony’s at MIT, sleep deprived on the first day of classes, and ends up walking into an intro to physics course and taking a seat next to freshman Bucky. Tony becomes aware of things half-way through class, realizes he’s in the wrong place (he doesn’t even *have* class at this time!), and has a moment of panic/annoyance. Bucky thinks Tony’s having trouble following the lecture, and offers to study with him. Tony almost blows him off but “oh no he’s cute.” Cue Tony having to attend a class he doesn’t take and play dumb through tutoring/study sessions he doesn’t need in order to have an excuse to hang out with Bucky (but he’s SO BORED and itching to show Bucky some good shortcuts and correct his math). (Art description: Tony and Bucky are seated at a library table, disposable coffee cups, books, and notes strewn across it. Bucky is pointing something out to Tony in a textbook, while Tony looks on attentively. Both are college age. Bucky’s left sleeve is pinned up; he’s an amputee.) Warnings: none Limitations: no big age gap, no ABO ‘verse, no unhappy endings A/N: Any additions of identity porn (i.e. Bucky doesn’t realize he’s been tutoring the famous genius heir to the Stark empire) would be welcome; the prompt is open to discussion (nothing’s set in stone). I’d love to be included in the brainstorming if possible. :D

Title: Mafia!au Description/Prompt: Tony is seated in a chair with a gun in one hand pointing towards viewer, while Bucky is in a suit standing to behind his left shoulder. I was thinking Mob Boss!Tony with Bucky as enforcer/bodyguard/something like that. Warnings: I don’t think any, but there is a gun being pointed at someone off-screen Limitations: No MCD please, I am fine with smut as long as there is no bottom!tony, other than that can’t think of anything right now- I am pretty open A/N: Look forward to working with you!

Title: No title yet

Description/Prompt: Tony learns about his parents’ murder and, against Natasha’s warnings, decides to go looking for the Winter Soldier. When he finds him in cryosleep in the hidden depths of a Hydra base, he rashly decides to wake him up…

Submission is a fanvid, so warning to the author that there’s only so much flexibility with the plot because of needing to stay close to the source material, but I’m excited to work with them to figure out how the fanvid will go :)

Warnings: None

Limitations: No Mpreg

Title: Escape from the Murderbots (working title) Description/Prompt: Tony and Bucky stand together, Tony is slightly in front, holding a strange piece of tech in his right hand, there is bandage around his left bicep, and the arc reactor is visible through his tank top. Bucky stands on his left, touching Tony’s shoulder. Buck is only wearing a pair of drawstring sweatpants; he is pointing to the left, out of frame, with his metal hand, there is a cuff of some sort on his metal wrist. In front of them and behind them are hovering drones, pointing guns at them. The background is a dark, futuristic cityscape with lit up signs advertising 'Viastone - Bring Your Dreams to Life’, and other slogans. Warnings: None that I’m aware of. Canon typical peril? Limitations: No major character death. No non-con between Tony and Bucky. No dark!Tony or dark!Bucky. Also, no character bashing, please. Definitely would like a happy ending. A/N: The Viastone signs haven’t been worked in yet, and can be changed to a different company, or Hydra, or something completely different, if that fits better with your plot or ideas, I just kind of liked the potential creepiness of Dream vision, also Ty as Tony’s creepy ex could be interesting. I don’t really have an idea of a plot, just the concept of a vaguely cyberpunk scene in which Tony and Bucky are being pursued by flying drones that want to shoot them, so feel free to go wherever that takes you. I’d love to hear what ideas you have.

Title: Dr Dolittle AU

Description/Prompt: Fluff/ crack

If powered AU i.e. Avengers-compliant AU(sans TS as Iron Man)- On the day before the fateful night that Howard and Maria would have died, Tony dropped the bombshell that he was going to become a vet instead? Howard was too busy calling up lawyers and ranting at the sky about disowning Tony to drive them to their deaths. WS waits by the road until he gets bored, murders his handlers and runs away? Else post CA-WS?

WS!BB has been in hiding at a special needs animal sanctuary (for lots of pics - goats of anarchy, edgar’s mission) that TS volunteers at, doing check ups and fitting prosthetics.

Does WS!BB approach the vet about a new arm? Does WS ever get the goats to stop eating his sleeves off? Will they ever get the animals to stop tripping them up and falling into compromising positions atop each other?

Hilarity ensues. Also probable pining, bored match-making goats who are fed up of their caretakers.

(Besides designing prosthetics for animals, Tony also makes collars for animals that translate thoughts into speech, like Dug in Up or soft-cyber implants from Rats,Bats & Vats, gaining him the nickname Dr Dolittle? Animals love him regardless, like he’s a Disney Princess) Healthcare for animals is incredibly technologically advanced and has to be reverse engineered for human usage lol? If non-powered au, anything you like! just crack/ fluff about mutual pining between volunteers at special needs animal shelter? It’s like a coffee shop- meet cute AU but with additional baby goats playing the floor is lava.

Warnings: -

Limitations: Stark seniors not murdered by Winter Soldier. No bad endings, dub-con/non-con, a/b/o

A/N: Super secret super-soldier serum picked up by SHIELDRA since Howard was too busy rage screaming. Results in more Shieldra supersoldiers in Avengers Initiative? Howard designs Ironmonger? Chitauri Battle of NY, no nukes? Alternatively Hulk or heroic Vanko in Iron Man suit launches the nuke through the portal? Jarvis the alpaca- Just A Really Very Intelligent South-american-camelid? You is an ewe? DumE, a very recalcitrant llama wielding a mean wrench? Butterfingers? The universe is saved from Thanos by an enraged herd of enhanced llamas? https://i.redd.it/8vncab0cz3jz.jpg

Sorry, it’s all crack, feel free to yell at me if it decides to consume your brain

Title: Fantasy - Dragonrealm/ Forgotten Realms??? inspired AU Description/Prompt: Undead dragon/ dracolich, the Red Skull, captures other dragons and restores his rotting body with parts carved from his prisoners. Mage-knight/Artificer (Tony) rescues an imprisoned dragon(Bucky) from the clutches of the Red Skull and his cult(Hydra). image desc - A dracolich confronting two men(backs facing viewer). One is injured and leaning on the other who has his hand raised with a spell. Warnings: not in image, but for story - likely to have mentions of torture and non-consensual body modification Limitations: no dub-con, non-con, vore, a/b/o, protagonist death A/N: In the Dragonrealm series, drakes can take the alternate form of a fully armoured knight. In Forgotten Realms, dracoliches are usually surrounded by a cult that worships them (and performs the phylactery transfer process) http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Dracolich Prompt completely open for discussion/reworking, words hard, please message

Title: Loving a Vampire Description/Prompt: Bucky is a vampire, Tony is a human. They meet, eventually fall in love, wear 'wedding bands’ on chains around their necks. Warnings: N/A Limitations: N/A A/N: Would like more angst and drama than fluff, preferred rating for fic would be M or higher.

Title: And From The Dark Description/prompt: The prompt that inspired me was actually a writing one that went along the lines of: “do you want to die?” “that’s a loaded question, if I say no that means I want to be immortal. If I say yes that means I’m suicidal.” I’m imagining a demon/fantasy Au(However I am open to Tony messing around with things he shouldn’t and being transported to this place via science/magic) and the image itself is of Tony and Demon!Bucky on a balcony in a cavern, with Bucky leaning over Tony holding his chin. Maybe Tony has entered their domain for some reason? Or is trying get out to surface? And encounters Bucky. Warnings: little bit of blood. (Not much tho, a couple small injuries) Limitations: none that I can think of. A/N: I am a big fan of darker works and would love to see where this could go. I’m more than willing to help brainstorm if the author is open to that. And beta if needed.

Title: Found in an Alley Description/Prompt: Bucky is broke and wandering around the alleys when he finds android Anthony. Warnings: Nudity (not explicit) Limitations: N/A A/N: Author will pretty much have free reign on what they want to write, prefer that the fic itself be rated Teen or higher

Title: Mission in space Description and/or prompt: Bucky and Tony are on another planet, wearing spacesuits. They are looking at a strange flower. There are mountains and a starry sky with two moons in the background. What are they doing there and what is the plant? Warnings: - Limits: No major character death or super dark fic or unhappy ending please! A/N: I’m open to most everything! Things I like but don’t need to be included are plotty fic, humor, fluff and pining :D

Title: Reactive Art descriptions: Bucky, holding the arc-reactor in his hands, flames on one side, smoke on the other./ Bucky crying, the black mask still covering his face. Art prompt: Partially Infinity-War compliant (except for the ending). After the initial battle, the team regroups and discovers that Tony is still missing. Bucky embraces his old identity as the Winter Soldier to track Tony down. It’s the only way he can set his morals aside and do what he has to do to bring Tony back. (I am open to other prompts based on the art description - happy to work with the author to come up with something different!) Warnings: n/a Limits: None. All Author’s choice. A/N: Would love for this to be a dark fic, possibly with major injury and/or a death scare. Angst and hurt/comfort preferable. Happy ending or not, author’s choice. Art is about 90% complete, although I may want to create more pieces depending on where the author goes with the story.

Title: By the Glittering Sea Description: Bucky is a newly hired employee of an aquarium, and he quickly realizes that they have some interesting exhibits. Mainly the one with a large tank in the middle of the entrance floor, showcasing a merman, who looks very unhappy to be there. He then realizes that he needs to get him out, with the help of his friends, of course. Warnings: None that apply so far Limitations: No rape/ non-con, or major character death. A/N: Tony is obviously the merman in the situation, but whoever writes the story can figure out how they get him out and what will happen if they do.

Title: Ill met by Moonlight Description: Tony finds a transformed Bucky in a cage at an 'abandoned’ hydra base, who is stuck behind a huge bulletproof glass coating. In any way the author wants it, they escape and the rest of the story will be about Tony and Bucky learning to heal together. Warnings: There will be violence, nothing out of the ordinary for the Marvel universe. Limitations: No rape/non-con, or major character death. A/N: I based Bucky’s werewolf form loosely off of the Skyrim werewolves.

Title: Those Soft Petals Description: Tony slowly realizes, to his horror, that he’s fallen for James “Bucky” Barnes. The only problem with that is =, Bucky seems to despise him. He doesn’t like him because of what he did to Steve and Bucky that fateful night in the abandoned Hydra bunker. Of course, Tony still has nightmares from that night, of the blood, filling his lungs as he truly believed he was going to die, but now isn’t the time for that. RIght now he needs to figure out why he’s coughing up these damn flowers. Warnings: Tony does what severe PTSD from that night, piled on top of the Afghanistan hostage situation from years ago. Limitations: No rape/non-con, or major character death. A/N: You can choose a different flower if you’d like, but I think the peony would be good, considering it’s the state flower of Indiana.

#ironwinter #tony stark #Bucky Barnes #claims #winteriron #winteriron bang

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dissonants-13 · 6 years

Note

Prompt 25: “If I leave now, I won’t come back.” For any ILITW character that inspires you

Thank you for playing non! I hope you like it xx

If anyone would like to make a request, prompt list is here: break yo heart

Story Details: Angst, angst, angst. Lucas x MC, Lucas x Stacy if you squint. I’ve used the generic name Devon for MC, but I’ve used they/them as dear nonny didn’t specify a gender. Dark themes, mental health issues.

‘I Wont Come Back’

Before

“Devon!” Lucas says, for the fourth time,raising his voice a little now. It’s halftime, the last game of the regularseason, and the cheerleaders are doing a routine - but nothing so interestingthat Devon would be that engrossed. Dan is standing on the side line,open-mouthed beneath a stream of Gatorade, and when he’s satisfied, he wipeshis mouth on the back of his sleeve and tosses the bottle back to the waterboy, before leading his team down the race to the locker rooms.

“What?” Devon finally says, turning to look atLucas.

“Finally! What planet are you on?” Lucas asks, tappingDevon’s forehead and half-expecting to hear a hollow sound. “Do you want somefood?”

Devon shakes their head absently, wrapping theirarms around themselves as if to hold all their pieces together. Lucas isfamiliar with the posture. He’s also familiar with Devon’s standard ‘no’ answerto food, and, eyeing their jutting collarbone, resolves to get an extra dim simanyway.

He pushes and shoulders his way through themilling crowd to the food trucks, and he lines up, his mind still on Devon.They’ve been together for quite a while now, since before Noah; a relationshipforged in the fire of the whole Redfield issue. Over the last year, everyonehad scattered; Lucas and Stacy to college, Andy and Dan repeating senior year,Lily working as a teacher’s aide, and Ava working at the library and running ahealing herbs business out of Pritch’s old place. Devon stuck aroundWestchester to heal and take stock, but since the one year memorial, that wholeprocess had seemed to crash a little.

Lucas pays and takes his food back to thebleachers, where Devon is still staring into space. More often than not thesedays, this is how Devon is, even when Lucas is home from college. The weightloss, the clear depression - which Devon does not want to talk about -the distraction, all of that Lucas can deal with. What he’s struggling with isthe abyss of distance that’s opened up between them; Lucas feels like he’salways reaching to Devon across the darkness, and getting absolutely nothing inreturn.

He’s tried to say how it all makes him feel, butDevon just doesn’t really get it. All the guilt and sadness in the wake ofNoah’s betrayal and sacrifice is enough to deal with - Devon just doesn’t seemto comprehend how all the little manifestations of pain in their life harmsLucas and their relationship. How it feels like Devon doesn’t care, becausethey never ask how Lucas’ day was, when he always asks after Devon’s.How much it hurts when Devon doesn’t even notice Lucas anymore, not even whenhe strolls in, naked as the day he was born and gleaming after a shower. Howdevastating it is when Lucas is always trying to help, and Devon gives himnothing back. They can’t talk about Devon’s feelings. They can’t talk aboutwhat happened. Every day just feels like mounting moments of things leftunsaid, and Lucas is worried about Devon coping, but he’s also exhausted fromfeeling like he’s the only one putting all the effort in.

After the game, the gang wants to hang outbecause everyone is back in town, and the Wolves won, and they so rarely get tobe together for the happy moments now that everyone is doing their own thing.Devon doesn’t want to go; Lucas watches their lips press together and theirhead shake slowly, firmly shutting down Stacy and Lily’s pleading.

So Lucas goes out with the gang alone, and forthe first time in a while, it’s kind of like a weight is off his shoulders.

After

“It’s like guilt, warring with a sense offreedom,” Lucas sighs, rubbing his tired eyes and stirring his coffee.

Stacy hums an agreeable noise and eyes Lucasclosely. “But how are you doing?” She carefully avoids the ‘are you okay?’ lineof questioning, and Lucas both blames and thanks her Intro to AbnormalPsychology class for making her so good at interrogating him. He has absolutelyno doubt that Stacy will be literally the worlds best criminal psychologist,and it’s only partly because she already has an innate ability to see straightthrough everyone’s bullshit.

“It’s hard,” Lucas admits. “Every day is hard.But..” he stops, breathing deeply, and the words die in his throat.

“But what?” Stacy asks, lacing their fingerstogether. There’s no hesitation. No doubt or space between them. It’s easy.

Lucas pushes his glasses up the bridge of hisnose with his free hand and eyes her. “But…I haven’t shut everyone out atleast.”

Before

The night that finally breaks Lucas is hisbirthday. It’s not just that Devon seems to have forgotten all day and onlysays happy birthday when Lucas’ phone dings with a steady stream of birthdaymessages over dinner (which he picked up and bought with him to Devon’s house).It’s not just that it’s painfully obvious immediately that Devon didn’t get hima present. It’s not just that for weeks Devon has been noncommittal to allLucas’s ideas; movies, bowling, dinner at a nice restaurant, none of it. Andit’s not just that when the gang arrives, ready to take Lucas out, that Devonflat refuses to go. It’s all of that, and more.

It’s the missing affection, which he givesDevon, but he doesn’t get in return.

It’s the fact that Devon won’t even tryto let him in.

It’s the fact that Lucas is putting in allthe effort and getting a brick wall in return.

It’s that Devon would rather write letters toNoah that never get sent, because he’s dead, than talk to Lucas, wholoves Devon and wants to help.

And Lucas is sick of it. The guilt isoverwhelming, but Lucas is just so exhausted of the whole thing. He can’t holdDevon and himself up anymore, he can’t drag Devon out of the darkness without anyhelp. He doesn’t want to end things, but he can’t ignore how he feels anymore.He needs to take care of himself.

And so, with all their friends watching and hot,prickling tears in his eyes, he says; “Are you really not going to come?”

Devon curls up on the couch, in that samehugged, defensive position. “No. I don’t want to.”

Lucas feels someone, maybe Lily, touch hisshoulder gently, but he shrugs them off. “Then you know this is it?” he says, alittle harsher than intended. “If I leave now, I won’t come back.”

Devon slowly meets his eye, lips pressedtogether. It strikes Lucas then that all the warmth is gone from Devon’s browneyes. There’s nothing left but emptiness and maybe the slightest hint ofregret.

“Then go,” Devon says, with an air of finalitythat makes even Andy suck in a shocked breath.

By the time they get to Dan’s car, Lucas knowshe’s crying openly, but it still hurts and he can’t hide that. He gaveeverything to someone who was lost to a dead man, and forces none of them couldcontrol.

“We don’t have to go out,” Ava says gently, andif Ava Cunningham thought the situation didn’t need any snark then things weredire indeed.

“No, we do,” Lucas snaps, getting into the frontseat. “The last thing I need is to turn into Devon.”

They pile in behind him, half in Dan’s car, andthe other half in Lily’s. Stacy sits behind Lucas, and halfway into town, hefeels her squeeze his shoulder gently. He lowers the window, and, for the firsttime in months, he can breathe again.

After

It’s after midnight, and his suite is quiet andstill when Lucas gets the call. It’s Andy, full of panic and grief, and Lucasalready knows what’s happened before the news even comes.

“It’s Devon - parents found - nothing - just getto the hospital-”

Lucas drives there in a stupor, through thenight, to the hospital at Westchester, but Dan intercepts him in the lobby.Lucas melts into Dan’s strong arms and vice-like hold, letting Dan take all theweight of his world for a moment. Curiously, he finds he cannot cry; his jaw istight and his eyes burn, like he should be crying, but nothing comes.

“Devon’s gone mate,” Dan murmurs, in the mostDan-like of voices; deep, calming, like music you don’t hear, but feelin your soul. “It was over before the medics even got to the house.”

“No suffering?” Lucas manages to ask, throughhis sandpaper throat.

“Like going to sleep, the doctors said,” Dananswers, holding Lucas tighter. And then, without even looking at Lucas’ faceto know, Dan says, “This is not your fault. Devon had demons none of uscould understand.”

Even still, Lucas knows the guilt and the painwill live with him forever.

After

In the years since, he’s asked for signs. He’sdowned oceans of booze, slept with scores of easy conquests, driven too fast,and purposefully listened to songs that make him cry, just to feel something.But no sign has ever come. He tries to move on, but he never goes for what hereally wants because he doesn’t want to destroy that too.

Maybe it’s a curse, he thinks. Noah had it afterJane, and Devon after Noah. The curse of being unable to let go. Redfield’slast gift.

It’s like a ball of lead that sits in his chest,weighing him down no matter how good he feels. Lucas wonders if he’ll ever notfeel the weight of what Devon did.

He wonders right up until the moment that Lilylooks up at him, her newborn son cradled in her arms, and says, “Uncle Lucas,there’s someone here who wants to meet you.” Stacy holds his hand, and the roomis so full of emotion from all their friends, that it feels like the warmestand softest of blankets shrouding them all. Even Ava is misty-eyed, and she’smore stoic than any of them.

And he hopes again.

#ilitw #it lives in the woods #choices: it lives in the woods #choices fanfiction #prompt game #lucas thomas #stacy green #lucas x mc

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is-hiveswap-act-2-out-yet · 6 years

Text

March 8, 2018

Hiveswap: Act 2 is not out yet.

Hey what’s up guys I hate tumblr apps and I hate the ipad I have to remember and retype all of this so I ugh it won’t be as raw as the first draft but

Anyway

I am depressed and very sad...and I am depressed. I wasn’t gonna even make the original post bc I’m so sad and didn’t have the energy to do it i was just gonna go to sleep but idk I feel kind of a personal obligation so here I am...remembering and retyping the post I just made but tumblr just pooped out of existence.

I um I got a car like I signed for it and everything and it’s all good i can pay for it but the problem is the insurance. Because since I’m under 21 (woman) the insurance is like super expensive it’s like $300 a month at the cheapest and that’s like a DEAL.

I can’t like get on my dads insurance bc my dad and I...like really bad stuff like we don’t talk and honestly I’d rather Uber the rest of my life than give him one more thing to hold over me when trying to manipulate me and emotionally abuse me

Um but so anyway it’s stressing me out because like ugh its so unfair its just so unnecessary it’s so stupid you know? The life ive had to live because of my dad. Its not even the price. That made me cry. Its that I’ve been living this way for so long now that it feels never ending. It feels like...my goals are /just/ out of reach.

It sucks to see your friends all have opportunity like from their parents. And help from their parents, to at least get started. And...I don’t have that. I’ve never had that. My parents just kind of did their job till I was like 13 and then I had to learn everything myself. And I obviously havent learned a whole lot. Just how to sing and how to be a kind of cool person. But maybe not even that. Idk I’ve never been close to my parents. Theyve never made an effort to like be a part of my life and know who I am. And I don’t know them either. Like I see them every day, my mom drives me places if I ask, but I don’t know them.

And I don’t know how orphans that leave an orphanage at 18 do it. Because without the help from parents, without that little push, it’s so hard to exist in this world.

Like I can almost grab them but I’m stuck in that never ending stretch. And no matter what I do no matter how much closer I move the finish line, I still am stuck, alone, reaching for it and struggling to grab it.

I also um I got an offer for a full time job. But honestly I’m not too confident in my ability to be a sales person 24/7 but I don’t really have a choice. I’m scared I’ll start and theyll realize how terrible I am and how they made a mistake and theyll fire me and my uselessness will be: confirmed. And its like really giving me anxiety. But...again. Don’t have a choice.

And its also killing me bc my current job. I’ve been there for 3 years. I’ve built so many important friendships and learned so much there. That place is forever in my heart, I love it so much. Its honestly my comfort, from my actual life. Which is weird, right? Work is where you find comfort? But yeah. Work is currently my comfort. I feel at home when I walk in the doors.

And it hurts me to think about having to leave. Or to even think about having to tell my coworkers and managers that I got an offer for a full time job that I have to take. I don’t want to end that chapter of my life. Not yet. Not for some boring sales position at what seems like a terrible company.

I tried to tell them today and I couldn’t do it it was so hard I was thinking about it all day and I felt guilt for not telling them and that makes me really sad.

But you know I need this because I don’t have health insurance and I need health insurance. I need it.

I don’t know.

I was always scared to get a full time job too because to me...a full time job...is like...the end. Or not the end but more like...the beginning of...acceptance? Like just the beginning of accepting that you have to work away your life to live and you have to work under capitalism and succeed in capitalism and just...taking a seat and following all those rules to live a secure life. Giving your life up. Giving up your dreams, even.

It feels like I’m running out of time.

And you know I don’t want to be stuck in a cycle under the capitalist thumb until I die I want to do things I want to perform I want to sing I want to see things!!! I haven’t had the privilege of others to you know go out and do things I wanted to do because my family is so broken and I just want that. I don’t want to be smooshed down into a case and hung up on some CEOs huge wall of other people smooshed into cases.

I just...it feels like I’m running out of time. And its stressing me out. And making me sad.

And you know of course I have mental health issues like I don’t even know if I can be a functional person at all 24/7 so I don’t know how working full time is gonna be.

I’m just scared of failing in every area. Scared of not being good enough. Scared of running out of time. Scared of being defeated and having to just comply with the world.

And of course the no internet affecting my ability to do any of the things I enjoy, leaving me an empty shell of YouTube videos and video games out of obligation.

Also the fact that I cant afford an apartment even with s full time job, meaning I have to stay here in my dads house, miserable, for that much longer.

And just....there’s a whole lot. There’s a whole lot. I’m thinking about a bunch of stuff and I’m sad and it’s hard for me right now. So if I miss a day or two or a few...I’m sorry. Uh. Just know that it’s not bc I’m lazy it’s because I just really am not “feelin up to it right now”.

Sorry to dump my 2nd edition life story on yall but idk sometimes you just gotta share your feelings with a bunch of random strangers on the internet so they understand why you arent having the best time keeping up with your daily blog.

Edit: just watched the Nintendo direct and WOW SUPER SMASH BROS FOR THE SWITCH YEAAHHHHHHH

Also congrats, Toby. On your dream of getting undertale on the switch. And also making it onto a Nintendo direct woe.

There are 11 days until “Spring 2018”.

#im not even sure im excited for hiveswap anymore tbh #i cant play it anyway #im so sad and out of it that hiveswap has drifted so far from me #which makes me really sad because homestuck made me grow more than anything but #idk ill be ok ill live #i wont die from this bad place...i can make it

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healthiervibes · 3 years

Text

Wow I have not posted anything on here in quite some time! A LOT has happened. I graduated college, passed the national registry exam, and have a full time job in my career 🥳. About a week ago, I also found out some horrible news. Well, horrible to hear but good in the long run. In my previous posts, I mentioned I had a boyfriend who was in the army that I'd fly to go see. Last 4th of july, I flew to visit. We were kind of on the rocks at the time and the trip didnt go well so we decided to break up after. In all reality we kind of just dropped the label and kept talking the same and acting like we were still together. It's been going on that way ever since and occasionally we talk about making things official again. Well, this year, he flew up for fathers day weekend and wanted to see me. I ended up getting really sick and we never saw each other while he was up. After he was back home he started getting flirty one night and I kind of just stopped and was like yknow I havent seen anyone else, talked to any other guys, slept with anyone, etc and wanted to know if we were on the same page. He admitted he slept with someone else. He said it was 2 weeks after we had broken up and he thought it would get him over me. He said it didnt work and just made him realize he wanted me so he hasnt slept with anyone since. I was hurt because I really thought we were on the same page. Idk. I asked him then and there what it is he even wants (because he kept saying I was wrong about the feelings not being mutual and that he doesnt care) and he said "Us." Fast forward 2 days and his mom adds me back on facebook. That really confused me because she had deleted me when we broke up. I went to her profile just to peek since I hadnt seen her in so long. There were pictures she had posted from fathers day weekend when he had flown up. There was a picture of his 2 sisters with this baby saying best aunties ever. Long story short, I ended up talking with his mom and the baby is his. She was born 2 months premature on Halloween 2020. You guessed it, that means that he lied about the timeline of when he said he slept with someone. It means that he cheated on me. When I went down for the trip last July, this other girl was already 4 months pregnant with his child and I'm sure he knew about it. Why would you even have me fly down to see you if you were already blatantly cheating and you knew you were having a kid. Not to mention we slept together during that trip and it just feels so violating now. His mom also told me that hes not with the mother of the child but does have a girlfriend that he lives with. Just another blow really. He named his daughter what he had always talked about naming a girl when we had one. He didnt even tell his own mother about the baby until she was 3 months old. His mom asked me if I knew and obviously I didnt. She was very sympathetic and was totally on my side and mad at her son for lying, cheating, being disrespectful, and keeping secrets. She said that she likes me a lot and respects my goals and what I'm doing and as a woman who has been on this side of things, she couldnt stand seeing me be treated that way unknowingly. It sucks now but in the long run, I honestly dodged a major bullet. Who knew you could be 100% dedicated and faithful to a guy for 3.5 years just to have him cheat, hide the birth and existence of a daughter, and keep the presence of a girlfriend a secret as he tells you he wants you back all the way up until it blew up. When I confronted him, he only got mad and ended up blocking me on everything as if I was the bad guy. Worst part is not even getting an apology. Not that that would fix anything but to at least have him acknowledge what hes done and know he feels bad or has some sort of guilt/remorse would be something. Anyway, I'm grateful to his mom for informing me. She even asked me to keep it between her and I because she didnt want him to not let her see the baby because of her exposing him. Things hurt right now but time will heal and better things are out there.

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aitian · 3 years

Text

5:43 am 12/29/2020

end of year.

feels right to revisit how i looked this yr on photobooth. most ppl only knew me through my webcam. i dont have many thoughts abt who i am or what im doing these days. mostly playing video games with alice. we smoked together a few days ago & i still feel like im in deadtime. like maybe i cant remember the important things im supposed to from the past. & rly existential lately. the panic is just in my throat, thinking abt how fast time is going & how there is no way back. i think there is a carceral logic behind the entrapment that all us depressed & anxious kids feel.. like the inadequacy of being alive, the failure to feel like a beautiful future is unfolding. im not sure anyone feels that way these days, & maybe thats why they r all holding on so desperately. all empires fall. im so grateful to be able to feel moms body & be her child these days. i just wanna lay my head on someones chest & feel good, warm, soft, coarse fabrics. also feeling anxious abt my classes, turning in the same essay that isnt rly an essay to all of my profs. oops. it was rly the best i could manage. vestigial body... i will finish writing smth i feel proud abt one day, & it will be written to myself. like this.

idk when the last time i wrote was, but maybe i wanna talk abt my relationships. feels like i got a hard reset on my brain by smoking with alice. oh god. anyway i havent been talking to sherry & adele recently bc i just dont feel right around them. in november remembering again what it felt like to feel so unwelcome all the time, feel that energy & those manners replicated by them toward me.. ik i should just talk to people frankly abt the things im uncomfortable with at home now that i have so much practice doing it but i just dont want to. somehow it feels like they should all just know, that they are living alongside me all this time in various ways even if i am not saying things to them, & our actions that connect us in relationship are felt by them too. & there is some part of refusal to see the relationship for what it is. im not begging for some trans pity or for commitment.. those kinds of relationship arent real. what is real is wanting to spend time with me, wanting to experience some sort of exchange between bodies, wanting to walk toward near horizons. feels like everyone who listens & agrees when i speak just does it to be amicable. there are only so many ways i can reassure myself that ppl understand me for who i am, even when they are constantly being led astray to hurt me. like alice saying its good for doctors to have objective views of their patients, outside of any other relationship. mom saying that she trusted our teachers to teach us what we needed. getting weirdly gendered messages from friends at home, & never asked in good faith about how i feel. its rly so shitty that even questions like how was the day or what ru thinking rn or whats on the horizon r things they want me to ask, then dont want to answer, & make fun of bc they feel awkward saying anything. so stupid. its this kind of shit that holds me back from letting my desires be known, these rituals of repression & shame. & i always wanna hear ppls desires & then immediately regret asking to know that our relationship is in direct conflict with their utopias. so stupid.

today after dinner, which was in the late evening, mom & alice & i did some short yoga stuff & then we did silly lion dancing. im still sore. i stretched out everything that felt sort afterward. anyway, felt good to be goofy & sweat & breathe hard.

what im feeling abt this year: - vestigial body x1000 --> dark room, heart beating fast, waiting & squeezing. theres that episode of midnight gospel when the dying dog/reindeer lady talks abt giving birth & dying, like squeezing & tensing & on no this moment will never end & then releasing & coming to rest & then all over again. & that is what i think abt every time i feel in panic now, or in a deep place of fear. there r some pains that cant be escaped, & they dont need to be. they r felt all the same. - i made a new friend through q&a who is a kid im supposed to b mentoring. it just means that all relationships are reciprocal (i dont like that word either, but they r never simply one way or transactional) & we met every thursday during the school yr. i prepared short stories for us to read & writing prompts, & we wrote abt stuff. - i just cant remember. all i remember abt this summer was going to stone valley with mom, feeling the sunlight & my tiredness (in an enveloping selse, toward my body & my spirit), playing games w sherry, playing some piano, & working on that fire emblem romhack. feels like the year went by so quickly. like i just had my birthday a few days ago, & now the new year means it is coming again soon. sometimes whole lives are vestigial. what is gruesome & magnificent abt that is that those vestigial bodies are hard to kill without clear intentions & collective effort. what sucks is the entrapment. i have been feeling this cant remember feeling in a bigger way, toward what my life was like before college, toward who i was in college now that i am so removed, & even more toward the kid whose world blossomed into smth they desperately desired & felt afraid of. middle school me would be horrified. maybe an even younger me would be proud, feel in awe or struck by the rightness of home. - i want to remember mom. the way she walks around with her hands in her pockets. 帅吗。:). how we skip/gallop sideways to avoid the wind on our walks, & she bounces when she walks like a silly kid. i love her. unruly gender, stubbornness of feelings, failure failure failure is why we r hurt but also why we r rly still allowed to be here. thinking abt moms essay, moving away from her grandma, thinking she would live together again someday. thinking abt how im home this yr, in a way i thought maybe i would never be ever again. its so cruel to leave love behind for the sake of a ritualized life i could never participate in. i wont do it. i just wont.

some feelings abt the coming year - i want to meet someone like myself & fall in love. deeply, with myself, in relationship. i wanna have sex too, & feel held in my being alive. i wanna be allowed to enjoy my body in even more regards like wearing short sleeves & feeling the sun on my arms free from dysphoria, existing in public not noticeably & feeling the evaporation of racial tension, waking up with that feeling of possibility, like i want to be alive & eat food & go outside & do those things in my body that remind me that i am a part of how the rest of this world is growing. i wanna be held in that knowing, together, of wellness & movement toward everything that means we matter to each other. - playing video games has been so important to this vestige & i dont want it to remain that way. i wanna collect stuff & grow stuff in real life, & grow myself & my relationships too. its not living when its the mourning of the freedom i should have always had & should have every moment i am continuing to life unfreely. - i wanna do some stuff to express gratitude to the ppl i have continued some sort of relationship with. feel bad abt how no one has emailed me back in more than a month now. maybe wanna do a q&a chapbook or yearbook. complex feelings bc i am so not in relationship with the ppl i wanna care abt. it sucks. part of that is letting go of guilt too, & being real with myself abt how much responsibility is on the other body to make me feel okay in our relationships. its rly not my fault that, u kno.. everyone is used to making someone like me feel like shit. sad that my most continuous relationships this yr r with professors. those dumb feelings of obligation r killer. i guess im grateful to be legible in some ways, while feeling the intensely awkward unwillingness to be real abt our positions relative to each other. i think lots more happening in this regard in the coming months w classes, blk atlantic ecologies, maybe smth w prof lee. & sometimes thinking abt what grad school would mean. - i wanna feel slow, i wanna feel like myself, i wanna feel free. some feelings r sitting in the garden on my own in the spring, planting some stuff. thinking abt what it might grow into, coming back again & again. the sun ducks behind clouds & comes back out, & the world feels so light & passing by. & time feels forever, like i have so much patience to dream & breathe & observe. this is one of my early memories, watching shadows on the concrete/sidewalks at preschool, feeling warmer then colder then warmer again. i also wanna feel the kind of collectivity that makes me know we all insist on home. i want it to branch beyond this home that i know. & also mean that i will not throw this away. im thinking abt how to exist intimately with more than one person at once. it is smth i will learn as it comes into my life.

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chickenfetus · 7 years

Note

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse?? i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

#if anybody read through all 100.. thank u and have a good day!!!#softshouyous #asks

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ikkanrana · 7 years

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So I'm confused, I thought you adopted the cat who hid under your bed a lot, or were you just fostering him for a while?

we were set on adopting him and took him in as planned.

everything was shady from the start as they more or less just dumped the poor cat here and left didnt even come up to the apartment they literally waited by the car and just asked us to return the travel cage before they left… and i was like im not gonna pull him out of there never in my life (my thought was that theyd borrow us the cage to begin with and that we would return it next time we saw the contact person like some vet clinic lets you do but noooppee they wanted it back before they left and it wasnt even the contact person who left him :)) )

so no one did any background check on us or checked out how we lived or nothing i mean we could have been living in a landfill as far as they know but they just dumped him on us and we never got any veterinary journals or ID documents from the shelter who literally ignored our calls for a month begging to get his papers so we could see what his health problems were and what kind of vaccines he’s gotten etc etc

like i was scared of feeding him the acana dry food at first because the add stated that he had bad teeth that were still under treatment (which we kept asking about and CLEARLY stating that we can not sign an insurance with any company yet since dental issues arent covered by all and is EXPENSIVE as shit so we need to know exactly what is up with him to be able to sign anything obviously… but they literally ignored us for a month even tho theyve said that ~if theres everything dont hesitate to call whenever we’re here for u~ like lmao professional etc etc and it went so far i contacted them on the official site and asked for the contact person and the cats papers because we were worried obviously that he was in any sort of pain because of the “oh he’s still under treatment” they left us with

so we were scared to death because obviously we need to know so we dont make anything worse for the cat??? because he’s the one paying for it the the end and we were apparently his second home because the other family couldnt keep him either and i dont trust anything the shelter has told us about the previous fam tbh i think they did the same thing there and just dumped him on them

anyhow as time went by more and more strange things regarding his health popped up while the contact person avoided talking to us and only sent us a passive aggressive text when we asked if he even was castrated and why he was tattooed in the ear and not chipped (which is standard nowadays) and also that he had begin to scratch himself A LOT and pee indoors and that we STILL DIDNT KNOW what was going on with his teeth which is… you know…. sorta super important (i fed him ground beef now and then both for his stomach and for his mouths sake but he did eat the dry feed normally without any spills or half chewed pieces so he didnt seem to be unable to eat but thats just MY observations still have no vet documents or nothing)

and she just texted that she hadnt got the papers from the previous home yet and blah blah blah and he was indeed castrated and vaccinated and blah blah blah she basically got angry cause we doubted her (mind you this is over a month after he arrived and they havent checked up on him or even attempted to contact us back)then she told us some of his teeth had been pulled because he had been ran over (which were news to us) and that the treatment he had been under was for a potential skin disease and we were like??????????????????????? what the fuck do you mean skin disease he’s been here for a month and since day one i was worried because he was scratching himself a lot and very intensely and was losing a lotof fur and now you might have dropped a mange ridden cat on us without saying anything and then she stopped answering for another two weeks and the itching stopped as he got to clean himself more and he looked a lot healthier after starting on the good feed we got him but he was still peeing A LOT and he kept peeing everywhere in the apartment…. we kept asking for papers but nothing showed up still and i was worried something was off with his kidneys or urinary track but we got no answers so here we were with a potentially mange carrying cat with five teeth peeing indoors.

when they finally texted us back (because she told us that she “couldnt answer and prefered texts” because she had been “sick” etc etc and she literally told marina she wouldnt answer if i called cause i had been pestering her for a month asking questions she didnt wanna answer so she was like ~uhm sweaty i wont answer if its a number i dont have in my contacts~) it turned out that it wasnt the cat but the son in the previous family who got some sort of skin disease that was potentially able to spread to cats (???????) and the only two i could find was mange and ringworm which is like????????? what the fuck you just DUMPED him here and didnt say a word and also it turned out he had been peeing everywhere in the last home too and thats one of the reasons they couldnt keep him because they had kids and apparently he was stress-peeing everywhere

so basically nothing in the add or what the contact person had told us beforehand was true and they more or less just abandoned him here without any form of vet documentations or ID and without any research on us or our situation and whent afk and ignored us for almost two months just basically hoping we’d stop calling them and just let them leave the cat here without any repercussions

last week i got home and there was blood everywhere and he had been pooping nothing but water more or less and i immediately called marina who contacted this lina girl from the shelter… long (very long passive aggressive) story short she basically told me i was rude for saying that i didnt feel alright at all sitting at home without any means to travel with a sick cat peeing pools of blood and without anything to do to help him because she insisted he would come back after the vet check-up (which had to wait until HOURS later even tho i explained that he was literally peeing fucking clean blood and he needed immediate help) and that they then would start looking for a new place for him because they didnt have any places over or anyone standing in line to take him in and we were sooo rudeee for assuming and, quote: “no one is really standing in line for a sick cat that pees indoors” and i went NO, WE DIDNT DO THAT EITHER BUT HERE WE ARE and she just switched subject and told me i’d get this “emergency number” to call during the night if something were to happen and someone would come pick him up and i was like lmAoooo as if as fucking if no one will do that shes just trying to make her part of this easier again

and i was like i dont think he even should come back anyhow i think he should stay under vet care at least over night if not more because this is really serious and also if this is stress related we would do him no favour at all coming BACK here then getting put in a car AGAIN and travel back and forth and back and forth but she didnt seem to care tbh she just called us inconsiderate basically and that we couldnt just dump him on them like this in an hour and just expect them to deal with housing him etc…. so basically we were heartless abusers with no consideration for the animals wellbeing 👌👌👌

she didnt even believe that he was peeing blood she was like “oh well as i said you’ll get an emergency number to call if theres anything… which you use if hes SICK and not just, you know, peeing on the floor.” and it just made me angry and i told her that yeah no i think i get that without and explanation thank you im the one cleaning up the blood and she just laughed nervously and told me when they would come get him (which then turned out to be an hour later anyhow :))) )

and he was beyond scared when they arrived to pick him up and for the first time i saw this lina girl in person and she was just…. weird…. i ended up aiding a terrified cat in to the travel cage myself because all they did was scare him to a point where he completely soiled himself all over and peed more blood because they couldnt seem to bribe him in to the cage. and afterwards she just laughed and was like “well that was fast! last time it took 45 mins!!”……. im like????………. whats wrong with you.

and she promised to call me the next day since i was the one at home and my roomie was away at the moment but of course she didnt and LUCKILY for the poor cat the vet hadnt wanted him to go either and kept him over night. and the next day i told my roomie that we just can not take him back again we just cant it would do the cat a disservice and it would start all over again and they would block us or something and just leave him to his destiny here it wouldnt be good for anyone involved except lina who didnt wanna do her part of the work… she tried to guilt trip my roomie in to taking him back in so i took over and just straight up told her that no, we can not so it and it wouldnt serve the cat in a positive way at all to be tossed back and forth over and over ESPECIALLY not since he was diagnosed with stress related FIC and this happened despite living in a calm silent apartment where he got so comfortable he could sleep and relax on the kitchen chair and eat veterinary recommended food and live in a clean nice environment as an only cat…. like he had a really good life here the months he stayed.. and she kept insisting that it was OUR FAULT that he had gotten these symptoms and yet she just wanted him to go back here because she didnt know where else to put him sorta…..

i would never in my fucking life let an animal back in to a home i suspect would abuse or treat it bad like…?????? but yeah she then tried to pitch me and marina against each other (like we didnt talk to each other??? what the fuck did she think) and tried to guilt us in to taking him and despite me seeing screenshots of what marina had written she tried to lie about what had been said and what not so i just told her nope we’re not at home we can not agree to take him back again mostly for the cats best interest it wont do him any good the end and then she started threatening us sorta and i didnt answer anymore and now theyve shared his post four times on fb and still no one wants to take him in (despite them lying and embellishing in the add :)))))) )

So Super Long Story Short kattjouren can suck my ass and being a no-kill shelter doesnt mean you can keep the animals alive at all cost, if you have an old street cat with two teeth left and stress and anxiety related FIC that pees blood and scratches himself raw maybe its not a worthy life for him and maybe its better to let him move on.

but apparently we have no consideration for the animals health and wellbeing and are just terrible animal abusers who asks her to do her job 👌

#long post under cut

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