#also pearls are my grandma's

[deathbypufferfish]

I don't know how to format this post but your honor I am girlypopping at max levels today

[werebutch]

My sister tells me how her bf’s dick is 8 inches (disgusting) when he genuinely looks like this

Sorry.

[the-acid-pear]

I love my phones. I need to make designs for them. They're so fun 4 me. Went to sleep daydreaming. So yipeee.

[anxiousbabybird]

I’m weirdly proud of this but I had to make a “shoebox float” for my nieces Kindergarten Derby parade at school tomorrow and I’m showing everyone 😂

In other news, I’ve realized I’m going to be a super competitive mom one day and that definitely made me think of some HCs with the men I love tonight lol

[ghwosty]

Ya know how I've been saying "oh I haven't had the nightmares related to the emotions I felt during the hurricane in a while I must be over it" well that was a fuckin lie bc the other night I had a dream again where the street in front my house turned into a rising river and I had to quickly grab things I could hold and get out to higher ground

[desperate4dopamines]

Got dress coded for dressing too “grandma-like”. Unfortunate that upper management lacks respect for the elderly 20 year olds.

[lumyxluminous]

I just showed the scarland book to my mom and grandma and they want to buy all the objects in it.

[kyu-piddy]

The Mother-in-law

In celebration of Mother’s Day in my country, here are some headcanons of meeting characters' moms (and a grandma).

Gn reader x Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Sebek

Afab reader x Ruggie

Tw: None 

1.8k words

Having a boyfriend comes with extra relationships, and you’re about to meet one of the people most important to him.

Mama Leech

Mama Leech is a classy lady. Tall and lanky like her sons, she exudes an air of elegance but also threatening, her sharp teeth gleaming like pearls.

She sometimes comes to land on business matters, and knowing that you were dating one of her sons, she just had to meet you.

Sitting across from her at the Mostro Lounge is a nerve wracking experience. You feel like you have forgotten how to even use a fork.

She daintily stabs hers on the steak, her enigmatic yellow eyes never leaving yours.

Her voice is velvety smooth, sharing pleasantries with you, all talk but with as much substance as water has flavor.

Suddenly, she goes quiet, her teeth seemingly becoming more jagged.

“I hope you do have good intentions with my son. He’s a nice boy who deserves the best, don’t you think so?”

“I don’t know what the “best” could be, but I do think he deserves to be happy in the way he wants to be.”

She continues with amicable and innocent topics thereafter.

If you’re dating Jade, she’ll say:

“My dear Jade is such a hard worker. You must help him relax from time to time, or he’ll overwork himself.”

If you’re dating Floyd, she’ll say:

“My dear Floyd changes like the currents. When you’re around him you’ll never know how he’ll react! It’s so delightful.”

Regardless of who has captured your heart, she’ll offer you a little trade secret.

“There’s something nobody knows, not even his twin, that when he was little, he…”

Before she can continue, the tweels appear to retrieve the plates and silverware.

If you’re dating Jade:

“I hope the meal was to your liking.” says Jade.

“Jadeeee! Mamma was about to share something fun! ___ wants to know too, right?”

“But it is rather impolite to share others secrets, is it not, mother?”

If you’re dating Floyd:

“Mama! Ya can’t talk about me behind my back! I'm the one who’s gonna share secrets with ___!”

 “Now, now Floyd. We shouldn’t interrupt our clients' meal.”

Mama Leech smiles innocently at her children.

“It seems time has passed by way too quickly. I must take my leave.”

She stood up so graciously you would have never believed she had fins instead of legs most of the time.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, my dear. And you, my darling boys, don’t forget to answer my messages more often!”

With that said, she gave you and her sons a tight hug, before disappearing out the door.

Lady Al-Asim

Lady Al-Asim is a beautiful woman. She’s not called the rose of the desert for no reason. But unlike what that title might suggest, she is not fragile.

Once she learned that Kalim had gotten a partner, she wanted to meet them as soon as possible.

You’d be invited to spend some time with her in her wing of the Al-Asim estate, along with Kalim, so he could introduce you to her.

The meeting place is a room filled with pillows and carpets. As you sit on a plush purple pillow with golden embroidery, you can’t help but think that it must be worth more than everything in Ramshackle combined.

Kalim grabs your hand and smiles radiantly at you, calming your nerves.

Lady Al-Asim enters, a goddess among humans, ladened with jewelry and precious silks.

But the most beautiful part of it all is her warm gaze at seeing her son, and the way she walks slightly faster than what you assume is protocol to greet him.

After inspecting her son and filling him with kisses, she sits in the middle of a dune of pillows in front of you.

“Hello, my dear. How do you do?”

“You must be feeling awfully warm. I’ll ask for some drinks to be fetched. Are 12 varieties of tea and 23 of soft drinks alright with you?” 

Her words are polite and warm, and the conversation is pleasant.

Kalim sings your praises at every opportunity, and so does his mother, remembering with staggering accuracy the things he has told her (and they were many).

It feels like you’re in a competition to see who can praise you the most.

It’s embarrassing, but they’re both so genuine in their compliments and admiration that you can’t help but feel your heart well up with happiness.

“Oh goodness, look at the time. It’s getting rather late and you both need to go to bed early.”

Kalim deflates a little, but perks right back up.

“That’s fine, mother. After we graduate we’ll have way more time to chat like this, as a family!”

You almost spat the tea you were drinking, but Lady Al-Asim's smile just got bigger.

She escorted you both personally out of the room and into the teleportation mirror, giving Kalim a big hug and ordering servants to bring him piles upon piles of things.

Kalim went ahead, leaving you alone with his mom for a bit.

“Take care of my dear Sunshine. He loves you very much and I reckon you love him too. And above all else, be happy.”

Out of her pocket she retrieved a small golden bracelet.

“Ground my son. But also let him sweep you up in his magic carpet once in awhile.”

You arrived at NRC feeling warmer than when you were in Silk City.

Grandma Bucchi

Grandma Bucchi is a kind old woman. Her face is marred with age, but she moves with the speed of someone three times younger than her.

Ruggie wanted to introduce her to you, seeing as she is the most important person in his life.

Initially he was a bit reluctant to bring someone like you to the slums where he grew up, but since you were so insistent on meeting her, he eventually relented.

Once inside the house, a humble abode filled with knick knacks of various origins, a tasty smell fills your lungs.

Grandma Bucchi leaves the kitchen with her gray hair in a bun, cleaning her hands in her apron.

“Ruggie boy, is that you?”

“Yeah, Grandma. It’s me.”

The small woman approaches her grandson and squeezes his cheek.

“I could barely recognize you. You’re almost skin and bones. Don’t they feed you at that fancy school?”

As she stops pinching his cheeks she turns to you.

“So you’re the famous ___? You’re rather pretty aren’t you?”

Before you can thank her, the old woman is already walking back to the kitchen.

“I’m finishing my stew. Sit down and sip some dawa.”

“Grandma, let me help ya. You know your bones aren’t what they used to be.”

“Ah, boy! Don’t get between me and my kitchen. And don’t leave your datemate hanging.”

You sat down on the wooden chair and sipped the warm drink on the table. It had a sweet, and despite being warm, fresh after taste.

You both sat in silence, the sound of the sizzling water filling the background.

Soon after Grandma Bucchi came out of the kitchen holding a big pot, a heavenly smell permeating from it.

“Dig in, children.”

You gladly started eating, and soon the lul of chewing and conversation filled the room.

“I hope my grandson has been treating you well. He can be a handful sometimes, I tell you. But he’s a great cook.”

The day soon turned to night, and the time to leave was approaching.

“Before you leave, children, take the rest with you. I want you both to be eating well!”

“Granny, ya should keep it for you and the kids.”

“Oh, Ruggie, we have enough for all of us. Just don’t give me any more kids to take care of! At least for now.”

You both blush profusely, heat creeping up to your ears.

“We ain’t gonna do that! Bye, Grandma!”

You both hastily left, but you could swear you could hear the old woman chuckle under her breath “ah young love”.

Mrs Zigvolt

Mrs Zigvolt is a tall imposing woman, boisterous, full of pride for her family and also a truly powerful fae.

From the moment your relationship became official, Sebek wanted you to meet his mother. 

To him, she’s perfect, and he wishes for her to approve of his relationship.

When he got news that she’d visit the NRC campus he was overjoyed, and immediately designed a plan to teach you as much about fae culture as possible.

His passion is admirable, but it’s obvious he’s incredibly nervous, practicing in front of his mirror what he’ll say to his mother.

On the day of the visit, he waits for her in the mirror hall, standing as straight as if he was practicing a drill.

You put your hand on his shoulder, and see him relax just a tiny bit.

When his mother arrived, tall and full-figured, she reminded you of a well trained soldier, but the moment she saw her son her face lit up, and she quickly strode to him, hugging him with all his might.

“I missed you so much, Sebby! Look at you! You’ve grown so much!”

Her deep and mature voice was surprisingly complementary to her words.

Sebek kept his straight posture, his eyes gleaming like stars.

“Yes mother! I have grown exactly 2,7 cm since you last saw me.”

Mrs Zigvolt smiled lovingly at her son.

“And who might this be?” She asked, turning to you.

“Mother, this is the person I am romantically entangled with. They do not distract me from my studies nor my duty to protect Lord Malleus.”

“And do they make you happy?”

Sebek's cheeks turned bright pink, his posture becoming stiffer.

“Yes, mother. They make me very happy.

His mother clapped her hands and gave you a bright smile.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Has my son been treating you well, young one? I sure hope so! He can be a bit of a handful.”

She leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“We thought he’d never let himself find someone, especially so soon. But he did, and from what he has told us, he’s quite head over heels for you.”

“Mother, we must hurry if we want to complete the school tour on time!” called Sebek from the entrance, already on his way out, the tip of his ears pink.

“Yes, yes, Sebby. We’re coming!”

He left the mirror hall, and you started walking to catch up to him.

“One last thing.”

She lightly tapped your forehead with her clawed finger.

“Use your head, but don’t forget your heart, okay?”

You nodded your head, and she smiled, booping your nose.

“Now let us go to our Sebby, or the poor boy might die of stress waiting for us.”

You left the mirror hall with a good feeling about this first meeting.

[mochinomnoms]

the twins trying to explain their polycule to the twins (tiny size):

Floyd: Okay so, do you two know what that means?

Jade is behind them drawing in a whiteboard to explain Floyd's attention span is going to be in either one of those fry

Pearl and Coral without skipping a beat: Another parent to whine and pout to get more siblings???

Jade and Floyd just smiling mischievously instead of confirming or denying: ...

Yuu and Azul watching from the nearest room

Yuu: Oh no

Azul: sigh

The cutest thing is the interactions and first meetings with the hatchling!! It goes either way the lil hatchling is a bit slippery and so the twins (tiny size) are panicking a bit when trying to hold it and the other is just big curious eyes looking at the hatchling that barely takes up their plam wrapping it's tiny tentacles around anything it can find to feel it's surroundings (the hatchling still has their eyes closed but thanks to pearl's and coral's pleads under much precaution get to hold it) oh and grandma Ashengrotto helping coral and pearl learn how to play but softly!!

Pearl: So.. Would this be alright? test bite

Grandma Ashengrotto internally: HOLY FU-

Grandma Ashengrotto: Try going a bit softer dear..!

Progress is progress though!!

Also please someone stop Pearl and Coral from having an "I am a better older sister!" fight (I remember having that happen to me with my older cousins and they would always ask which one of them was my favorite cousin little me was so confused)

-Vaquita

The (little) twins don't really care about the specifics, they're just happy to know that Zuzu will get to stay around a lot longer, and now they can call him Baba!

I forgot that in "Delights of Being Zuzu" that there were also the triplets (Poppy, Moss, and Lumiro). So the little hatchling, Beryl, also has three siblings of similar age to grow with! He's small, but still a bit bigger than the triplets, with Moss being the smallest as a berry. Even so, Beryl quite likes curling his tentacles around his siblings when sleeping, which Poppy and Lumiro do in kind with their tails. Moss is content to get squeezed by the three of them.

However, Pearl and Coral are still learning how to play gently with their siblings. You're correct that Pearl likes to play by biting, which is a habit that Yuu, Azul, and Mama Ashengrotto, or Iris, try to deter. They tell her to go bite her Papa and Dada (aka, Jade and Floyd) instead. At least until the fries are big enough to handle their rambunctious sister. Thankfully, Coral is more than helpful to play fight with Pearl!

They do fight over who is the better (*cough*favorite*cough*) sister. Coral is confident that it's her because she's nicer, and Pearl is rough. Pearl is convinced it's her because she's fun and Coral's boring. The fries are sleeping while they fight about it. They do not care, they want to nap.

[pacthesis]

our vietnamese tea ceremony

some may or may not know i just got engaged to a weird guy i met in college that (to put it lightly) i wasn’t too fond of but after like 2 years of snubbing him he somehow won my heart i guess

i scribbled a comic about it cause whenever people ask how i met him they sometimes get invested haha

some people also may have seen him on america’s got talent or cbs news or jimmy fallon or on tiktok doing his pizza man shenanigans lol

people often ask if he pulled me with his dough skills and i have to clarify i didn’t even know about the dough spinning hobby until after we started dating and he didn’t do the tv/media appearances until like 6 years into our relationship 🤣

my parents were both boat refugees from vietnam (they fled during the war when they were teenagers and met as adults) and i’m american- but we’re not really that “traditional” i guess

i think many viet people don’t get married or commit without having a tea ceremony haha

a hetero buddy asked who were my bridesmaids and when i told him i don’t have any he asked why and i just said “i like my friends” 🤣 (my childhood friends were there as guests though!)

i also didn’t want/ask pizza man’s family to bring the customary gifts cause i didn’t wanna cramp my style

basically the purpose of this event was for people to witness us getting engaged and be an opportunity for our families to meet one another!

5/23/2015 is when we started dating

for our first anniversary i got our initials and anniversary date stamped onto a penny and pizza man still carries it around 🥺

so 8 years later we got engaged on 8/5/2023

8 for august (8 years later)

5th of august (5 for the month we began dating)

year of 2023 (23 for the day we began dating)

i think people often go to a fortune teller or someone who knows what they’re doing to schedule important dates using the stars and other factors but my grandpa doesn’t believe in that and the rest of us aren’t really superstitious

we wore áo dài- it’s a vietnamese ensemble consisting of a tunic with a long front and back panel that is worn over pants

áo means “shirt/clothes” and dài means "long"

a lot of the time the bride wears red and the groom wears blue i guess but i wanted my outfit to look bridal when i imagine an american bride or a vietnamese bride!

i also wanted to wear a gold khăn đóng headpiece and to incorporate pearls to resemble what my mom wore when she got engaged to my dad

sunflowers are also my fav

(after we started dating i thought pizza man was tall and sunny like a sunflower haha 😭)

my makeshift shoebox altar- or as i like to call it: my “spirit pager” 😤

the double happiness symbol is two copies of the chinese character 喜 (xǐ) which means joy/happiness and red symbolizes luck for the couple

my mom asked if we should put up pictures of our deceased and i was like i don’t wanna make pizza man’s parents go out of their way to bring photos 😭

i think we were supposed to ask our ancestors for permission to get engaged or married or whatever but since my mom raised me to believe my life is mine to live i just announced it to em

as far as i know it’s not really a buddhist thing- ancestor worship is more of a vietnamese thing apparently

my mom said vietnam is a country with a lot of war and death in its history- so imo it makes sense how they incorporate the dead into their culture and traditions

after introducing each of our family members and friends- we lit a couple of incense to (casually) announce the news to our deceased grandparents and relatives

apparently burning incense is an invitation to ancestral spirits and to deliver wishes to predecessors

smoke from the burning incense guides people to safety or safe passing when they die- it also guides em back home on days like these

the spirit(s) depart when all of the incense has burned

next month is my grandma’s "deathiversary” (giỗ) so we’ll be paging her again soon

we used a tea set that was used to celebrate my 1st birthday to pour and serve (my pick) of vanilla caramel black tea to my grandpa and our parents

pizza man’s mom doesn’t like tea so i was happy i picked something she did enjoy!

but when my mom brought her family to america from vietnam- she asked them if they could bring a tea set specifically for me

my mom said it’s meant to be used to celebrate any of my special occasions

then me and pizza man said some nice words to each other and exchanged rings

my ring was pizza man’s grandma’s- his grandpa initially proposed with a smaller diamond but after he saved up enough he got her this bigger one

i don’t listen to any comments that suggest or imply this carbon rock is not humongous 🤣

pizza man paid to get it resized and to repair its prongs (it was well worn by grandma mercedes 🥺)

also found out my ring size is 3.25 (US) haha 😭

he also decided to get his grandpa’s ring resized and to wear it too!

my mom put this necklace on me- she says it reads “happiness” (i can’t confirm lol) but she received it from her mother-in-law when she got engaged to my dad

my mom was too scared to wear it after their tea ceremony cause it’s 24 karat gold and she didn't wanna wreck it

she said 24 karat gold hasn't been combined with other metals so it’s soft

i guess couples at viet tea ceremonies often get 24 karat jewelry- the idea is they can quickly sell it/melt it down for hard times

my mom also passed down her favorite jade bracelet and my grandma’s favorite diamond earrings to me 🥺

and on my 1st birthday my mom got a special ring made to celebrate my birth- she put it on a chain so the person i marry can wear it close to their heart

my mom also got a special ring necklace made to celebrate my sibling’s birth and gave it to their fiancée during their tea ceremony

it’s just the two of us so no more shiny token trophies up for grabs! 😤

i laughed when pizza man had to squat down so low so my mom could put the necklace on him 

after the ceremony i asked him if he wanted me to help him take it off (my sibling's fiancée keeps theirs in a safe cause she’s too scared to wear it daily) but pizza man was like "no i like it 😄" and wore it to sleep and showered with it and hasn’t taken it off since 😭🤣

at the end of the ceremony we lit the candles on the altar to represent the union of our families!

then we ate lots of food haha

my parents both cooked! egg rolls, fried rice, lo mein, bột chiên (fried taro rice cake)

my mom was excited because she knew many of our guests weren’t very familiar with vietnamese food and wanted to share that with them 🥺

and my dad was just so excited for me and pizza man and had so much fun getting the supplies and decorations 😭

my aunt and uncle and sister-in-law brought vịt quay (peking duck), heo quay (roast pork), gỏi tôm (shrimp salad), bánh hỏi (rice vermicelli), xôi gấc (sweet red sticky rice topped with coconut, peanuts and salt)

and pizza man’s mom and family brought lots of desserts

we have always been so amazed with how good their sweets taste and look! 🥺

we also got an ice cream cake

i wasn’t thinking and asked em to write “nicholas and amy lễ đính hôn” and they called me and were like wtf is this and i was like oh no it’s ok haha don’t worry about it! 😭🤣

we had some photos displayed but my sibling took lots of nice pictures of the whole thing!

i was happy i actually got the chance to spend time with and talk to everyone who came!

it went so well and we had so much fun that we’re thinking of doing something similar for our wedding- probably a backyard wedding haha

i was telling pizza man apparently some tea ceremonies have the first half take place at the bride’s home and then the later half is at the groom’s home 🤔

anyway reminder that leftover egg rolls can be reheated in the toaster

[theuselessgurl]

just me!!!

hiiii I’m pearl (she/her) and I’m kinda new to tumblr and I’m still figuring out how to use this site but I feel like tumblr is absolute gold (it has quite literally become my coping mechanism)

mostly this blog is going to revolve around my hyper fixations which includes (but is not limited to) : byler and stranger things, Taylor swift, six of crows(right now)

mostly expect byler tho rn I’m obsessed

I’ve also posted a fic on ao3 (expect more updates about that) on byler sooo !!!!

Pls gimme tumblr hacks!!! (Like someone please tell me how to color your text plsss ) I’m a grandma when it comes to tech

[i-eat-so-much-grass]

Hark! An intro!

Name: Flynn

Pronouns: they/them

Occupation: schoolchild (yes I’m a minor so DNI any NSFW blogs please)

A small tidbit of information for your amusement: never committed a crime ever. Not even one. Not even a teensy-weensie its-bitsy tiny little murder. So feel safe :D

Favorite color: oh shit this is hard uhhh green? or maybe deep purple? or red? or gold/silver if I'm feeling fancy... ooh or brown but like a pretty brown have I already said green? idk

Favorite food: grass duh can’t you read

Favorite song: one of them probably

Favorite podcast: the Magnus Archives

Favorite book: the Mirror Visitor series or Six of Crows

Hobbies: writing, horse riding, crochet, calligraphy, and reading

MBTI: intj

My DNI list: what you’d expect ig except also plz don’t send me anything political. I mean anything. Sometimes I MAY post smth abt politics but that’s not how I wanna interact with this platform ty

Also please feel free to send an ask or DM me anytime! I love to chat :)

I have a couple of side blogs that are possible to find and connect back to me so if you wanna try that hard it’s a treasure hunt!

A warning: I am absolute shit at pronouns and names. I’m so sorry. Your boomer grandma is probably better. I pretty much just think of everyone on here as a genderless entity named with their username, but I will try really hard to correct myself when I mess up. Also, plz just lmk if I’ve missed anything and plz be patient lol

My incredible moots:

@fairyycoffin @that-dam-heartstopper-fan @bleep-bloop-boo @dracosleftarsecheek @tarantulaluv @kennetea @calsoutghosthunting @cactus-with-boobs @touslin @honeii-puff @the-official-failure @acewithobsessions @gooseonthetable @workplacefire @thecrazyalchemist @homocidalpotat @boba-pearl @k-is-for-potassium @the-stars-ar3-with-us @supermilkshakebanana @loki-god-of-mischief-13 @eddiotaszarfej @mun-urufu @dragonerd8224 @sketchy-potato

I love yall sm even if we never interact <3

If I missed anyone, or anyone wants to get removed/added just lmk!

Now @fairyycoffin can stalk all my moots with maximum efficiency

Tag list: here

Credits: Heart divider by @vysleix, idk where the snail one is from :( pfp and divider from google stock photos of grass lmao

[bat-snake]

My take on a distant future AU (that depends on Aaravos sacrificing so much energy into finally ensuring Leola's return that he has to abandon his mortal form for a bit - much to her heartbreak) and so

I have no idea how to connect all of these things and have a few vague ideas about who the New Gang is (one of them is a Moonshadow/Sunfire elf with a human grandma, who works for the Katolis Historical Society as a tour guide and she is e x h u s t e d)

There are so many more humans that figured out how to connect to a primal source, but it's like a small rural town's worth because it's still very hard to connect and requires a lot of introspection.

I'm trying to decide if Leola has just one child (named after Callum) or if she has two (named after Callum and Claudia). She's also looking after one of the New Gang, who is also in a coma. But because she connected to the Star primal and she couldn't handle the depths of Infinity, and not because of The Thing that knocked out all the elf kids under 10.

Zym is going strong as the Dragon King and is pretty well adored. Especially since Thunderfall is a thriving integrated city at this point.

And of course, aside from a Molly Gru-esque "How dare you come to me now, when I am this??? (burnt out and exhausted and lonely)" response to his return, Leola makes a pretty clear threat regarding Aaravos and his grandchild(ren).

Basically a "If I even hear a hint that you are pulling destructive stings for my child(ren) that you did for me, I will personally put you in a pearl myself and I will bind myself to it because I know how. Anyway! Humans figured out how to capture an obscura reflection! They put mirrors in a tiny box! I have mourned so many human friends that I am about to snap! The light in side me is dying! I really need you to just be my dad right now or I am going to lose it!"

There's a Rayllum grandchild running around as the new guardian of the Moon Nexus. Her name is Odette. (Which I. Realize now is ironic name choice with the whole "moon touching the lake" thing and was not deliberate on my part but I'm sticking to it. Give her eleven swans I guess)

[comingfromastatechampionasshole]

Wilt-resist your whipped cream! (A cheat, by Doc)

Okay, the phrase "by Doc" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here--I actually learned this tip from a gal I was competing with years ago in state fair (she beat my ass) and I'm sure other aunts and grandmas know it. But, whomst else on tumblr will deliver it to your eyeballs?

Because you know the trouble with whipped cream and whipped cream frostings is they tend to wilt over time, especially if they have to deal with absolutely any level of heat. A simple room temperature can make your pie or cake look weepy and sad. Your bowl of fresh whipped cream now looks worse than the fuckin' cool whip. Tragedy.

Now, I assume you, erudite and exceptional readers of this blog, are already using powdered sugar/icing sugar instead of standard sugar to make your whipped cream, not only because of greater stability but because it functionally removes the possibility of graininess. This is a "I want to make this whipped cream the night before" tip. Other tips like milk powder, I find, just don't have the same longevity as what's below:

Professionals use gelatin or agar-agar, which I don't like for two reasons: 1) Gelatin is not vegetarian and in the US is often made from pork, so fuck your Jewish or Muslim guests and 2) you have to bloom the gelatin or agar-agar, and it can be tricky to work with, and if you aren't the 'working with high-level mousses and creams often" type, it may be a waste of space in your kitchen.

But gee whiz, did you know there's a very cheap and intensely easy solution for busy housewives to keep her man loving her whipped cream, and by extension, her? Tell her, Don!

Why little lady, it's Jell-O (tm) brand instant pudding mix! Don't tell the ladies at the church bake-off...we won't.

This is the easiest possible way to get nice, stiff whipped cream that holds up for, I think my record is three days. It can also tolerate sitting in a warm room much much better than whipped cream really ought to be able to.

"But Doc, isn't Jell-O, uh, gelatin?"

Jell-O itself is, but Jell-O pudding is actually kosher. I assume other brands are as well, but I don't know this for a fact--so make sure to check the label if you're using a different brand. What's doing the work here is 'modified food starch' which is a stronger version of cornstarch, which I find, added to whipped cream, to require too much to be added, and the texture gets odd.

This is cheap! Your grocery store may vary, but this small box was 99 cents.

This is easy! All you do is add about 1 tablespoon of pudding mix per one cup of heavy/whipping/double cream* and then whip as usual.

It does lightly flavor the whipped cream, which I've never found to be a problem--I use regular vanilla mostly, but french vanilla is nice for banana cream pie, I used coconut cream for the pie I just entered WHICH WON BEST IN SHOW I MIGHT ADD. Chocolate is great for chocolate whipped cream. You're smart people, you got this. The only ones I don't recommend are tapioca (pearls) and Oreo (having about three bits of oreo in the whipped cream looks dirty rather than intentional.)

Go forth, and set your whipped cream on the sideboard with confidence!

*I'm aware these all actually contain different levels of fat, but let's get real here, they are often used interchangeably and only the craziest among us is going to seriously get into "What cream should you be whipping?" discourse.

[thiirsdaygirl]

no spoilers -> i finished the yangchen books, id rate them honestly a 10/10!! the first one was sooooo interesting and sucked me in, i didnt think that politics could be so interesting loll. the second one had the same effect, watching the relationships become fixed over the course of the novel was amazing. f.c.yee is TRULY an amazing writer i was genuinely wowed especially when the perspectives switched to unlikely people to give backstory. after these books, yangchen has to be one of my favorite avatars, and her and kaviks relationship is so complex and i want them together SOOOOO bad.

okay now SPOILERSSSS -> I LOVEDDDDD that kavik and yangchens relationship at the end of the first book was bad. i loved that they had a whole arc of becoming friends only for him to betray her for his brother who hed been wanting to see for so long, and i love that their relationship was fixed in the second book. i ABSOLUTELLLYLYLYL wanted them together i am the NUMBER ONE yangvik shipper on GODDDDD. anyways!! jujintas introduction in the first book was so interesting and i wanted to know so much more about what actually happened with him and him “killing” his brother or smth?? alledgedly… but i loved him and yangchens group w akuudan and tagayum and kavik calling him JUJI. oh i died. speaking of tagayum and akuudan they were SO CUTE, when i first read the part in the first book ab them being husbands i was so excited and i think they were handled so well (im very excited for kyoshi and rangis relationship i havent read the kyoshi books yet!!) their betrothal bracelets or necklaces or whatever are LEGIT SO CUTE and their backstorys!!!! anyways… CHAISEE!!!! i LOVEDDDD HERRRR her as a villain ATE DOWNNNNNN she was CRAZY. her backstory, the pearl, her baby, THE REVEAL WHICH I WILL TALK AB THE OTHER HALF OF RIGHT NOW. kaviks brother, kalyaan’s reveal in the first book was CRAZY. and his appearance in the second was EVEN CRAZIER. i was so shocked when kavik saw him, and then when he revealed that kavik had no leverage because he already came clean to chaisee and HE WAS THE FATHER OF HER BABY???????? my jaw dropped, i was in the car with my grandma and my cousin they can vouch for me. back to chaisee, when she was begging yangchen while thapa was preparing to use his combustion bending, oh gurl that was crazy. oh my god i almost forgot NUJIANS DEATH WAS SPOILED FOR ME BUT WHEN IT HAPPENED I ALMSOT CRIEDDDDD. and yangchen finding jetsun after so long was heartbreaking and also hearthealing and simultaneously heartstopping.

okay well if u wanna know anymore (theres a lot more) feel free to dm me or ask me any questions anytime ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ i will be reading the kyoshi books next, and if the rumors of the other avatars books coming out are true i will be SOOO excited and read them so quick. 🔥

[whitherwordswither]

01: Wrapped Up For Your Pleasure

I woke with the rising sun spilling in through the window, its languid golden glow spreading across my legs and climbing up my body. It felt like I was an insect floating up through a jar of grandma's sorghum. My mind was still creeping through a fog as I stretched, returning from a dreamland of nothing. The bed shifted with me, soft velvet leaves caressing my bare skin...

My eyes shot open, a weave of vines keeping me from flying off the bed in alarm. I opened my mouth but before any words could sputter out a larger leaf covered my lips. The faintest prick had me slapping a hand against the side of my neck. What was happening? What was this growth threatening to consume me? I stared up at a pair of venus flytraps. That was the nearest comparison my brain could conjure. They blinked down at me and just below them a mouth took shape and smiled. My nerves tried to send out panic signals but they immediately became lost and confused. Like tangled wires. Or the spaghetti bowl of roadways in Houston. Slowly, the frond against my lips slid away, my body shifting again without consent to be cradled against the giant plant creature.

"Good morning, sweetling~" It spoke. Plants didn't normally speak. Plants didn't normally have semi-recognizable features. Features that kept fluctuating, as if it were trying to find an adequate configuration that was pleasing to my eyes.

On another note, if it wasn't for the haze that was settling over my temporal lobe I might have wondered how this being was able to manifest speech at all. Instead, I found myself with the laziest grin spreading across my face as I sunk back in to the vines. They were so, so very soft. And almost right as I became aware of them, they danced across my bare flesh in a multitude of places, making me squirm in delight. Should they have felt that good? Where were my clothes, anyway? I felt a particular heat on my cheeks as a few leaves teased over my thighs, pressing in and writhing over my... o-oh! A gasp was pulled up out of my throat as the vines curled, coiled and squeezed.

I lay there, blushing and shivering. No, no, no. This was... something wasn't correct here. But it felt too good. I was unable to hold on to that train of thought. The living mass of foliage made a strange trilling noise. Was that a giggle? Was it amused? A distant part of me wanted to be upset. But that piece was lost to hastily growing void that was rushing to greet the rest of me with balmy enjoyment.

"I hope you slept well, little one. I did give you a tiny bit more of a Class A and E compound than I meant to last night. I apologize, but I thought it best... given your situation." The plant's words made sense. And they also didn't. All at once. It vaguely sounded like I had been drugged. The wherewithal to comprehend that was another facet I was losing.

"I've decided to start you off with a little more A this morning, as a treat. Are you enjoying yourself? I wish to cultivate euphoria within you. You deserve to feel good, my pet. We'll keep those nasty thoughts from ever wanting to root in your head ever again~" Their head tilted, flytraps closing and opening. Pearls of inky black peering from behind the lids, traveling down my body. I wasn't sure exactly what they were talking about. But I did like feeling good.

I was shifted in to a more upright position, straddling the plant's lap. It's vines held me so carefully. So gently. It made the prospect of fear a bewildering concept. Why should I be scared? A pair of fronds brushed over my scalp as the entity's eukaryote-esque tendrils continued to work up and down my erection. Did I just whimper? Whatever a Class A was... they needed to reconsider the amount they used. If it weren't for the hold they had on my body I would have probably been floating along the ceiling like a stranded balloon in some helium fueled parade of my own making. But also. They could do as they wished. They knew best, obviously. I mean. Why else would...

Fronds caressed my cheeks and brought that wicked-lovely mouth to my own. I only had half of a passing thought of being devoured. I suppose that wouldn't have been so bad in my current state. A damp warmth pushed itself past my lips. I registered it as almost spongy. Soft, like moss. The being held me tighter, beginning to gyrate against me as their ropey appendages increased in pace. My hips couldn't help but respond, rocking in to the writhing mass. Heat built up swiftly in my lower half, sparking throughout the rest of my body. Every fiber was burning. Yearning. My hands tangled in the plant's sides, groping for what, I didn't know. I found myself trying to pull them closer, to smother myself in their eagerly given pleasures.

Someone whined, though the sound was muffled by an earthy growth that wriggled further, dancing over a tongue. The sensations pushed me nearly out of my body in their intensity. That heat became a roiling fire. My muscles tensed as I whimpered again and held tight to the plant, thrusting in to the gripping vegetation. The heat boiled over, ripples of bliss shuddering down my spine.

"Oooohhh~ Goooood~ Yessss. Doesn't that feel wonderful?" A wash of vibrant plumeria blossomed in a cascade of color down the plant's body in reply to my orgasm. A heady floral fragrance assault my senses. Tender flowers kissed and cupped my shaft as it twitched and spurt its cloudy milk across that leafy green expanse. I spent I don't know how long, a few moments or minutes, drifting in a buzz of contentment. More vines moved and rearranged and I felt myself slumping forward, my head involuntarily turning and pressing against smooth plant-flesh. My entire existence was swimming in the dreamy pools of heaven itself. A voice of pure comfort tickled through my brain-space, lulling me to accept my foray in to further cognitive dissolution.

Enjoy every second, sweetling. You are mine.

And I shall be your kingdom.

Your home. Your haven.

Your everything~

I'm pretty sure I passed out after that.