#also saw some comment that was like. fear-based horniness and

[beesinspades]

I'm 3 months and 2 weeks on T now and I'm sooooo happy with it :D the first two months and then some were SLOW, so much so if it wasn't for one thing and the (temporary) side effects of the hormonal mess, I would've thought it wasn't working lol

but over the past month I've started really seeing changes!!

my voice started dropping, I can hear a difference with my voice pre-t!

I'm already growing facial hair on my neck and chin. at this rate I'll hopefully be one of the lucky ones with something decent before the end of my first year on T hehe

my belly is getting hairier

I think my face shape has started to change but that's harder to tell

so yeah I'm really happy because so far I'm getting nice changes and I haven't been plagued with being hungry, hot and horny. no mood changes either or anything. I don't feel any different from before T besides feeling more confident in my appearance. and I still have some palpitations when I lie down to go to bed in the evening and still in bed in the morning but I saw a cardiologist with echography and EKG and I'm good so it's likely the hormones. it was much worse before my third shot when we increased the dose.

also I don't know if it's related but before T I would get really nauseous (at the base of the neck rather than the stomach, idk how to explain it) at least once every three weeks or so, most of the time when I woke up in the morning and then it went away once I got up and went about my day. a week or so after I started T it got worse as in it started happening more frequently, at night too, and sometimes lasted throughout the day. then towards the end of the sixth week, before my third shot, it got so bad for like five days I thought I was gonna die hahaha but same as the palpitations improving, we did the third shot at full dose instead of half and the nausea disappeared. I haven't had a single instance of it since. so?¿?¿??? (both these things were already there before but probably made worse by a medication I started taking a little after going on T though. I stopped taking it as well)

I'm a liiittle anxious because "oh my god what if I'm doing a mistake" but I'm really looking forward to the next few months!!!

anyways, I did two shots by myself so far, the first one went perfectly well and the second one I felt like passing out but it was likely because I did it in the morning right out of my hot shower sjdkln I lied down for 20 minutes and then felt fine again.

also I got the results of my check-up blood test yesterday and my T levels have very nicely increased (I'm at like 55) and everything else is normal :3

but also WELP because besides my sister my family doesn't know. my mother hasn't called me in a month so odds that she'll notice something next time she calls me are not nonexistent and it's Not going to go well and I'm wholly unprepared for that conversation

next week I'm having lunch with my godmother whom I last saw on the day I started T, so that should be interesting too....she's always been supportive and nonjudgmental (to my face at least hahaha) but also given that she believes in the woke agenda I have no idea if HRT is going too far for her. wait and see :')

as for my dad, I'm frankly starting to wonder if he's just pretending not to have noticed anything. the voice I can get because he talks to me everyday so without a direct comparison it's not impossible that he hasn't noticed. but the facial hair??? I have way more than before and it's surprising he hasn't commented on it. anyway. either way the moment my mother knows he's probably gonna be made aware too.

anyway. excitement but also Fear

[dylanndr]

Perhaps you saw this Tweet from Vico, which certainly seems to be *implying certain things.*

Most of the comments are reading this as a hint about a Jim/Oluwande reunion, and perhaps that's the case.

Buuuuuuuut ...

Those are Con's idiosyncratic ellipses. Vico likes to poach those ellipses when they're teasing/flirting with Con. So my own personal read on this (and maybe I'm wrong!) is that the hint being dropped here is in reference to some Jim/Izzy action.

To be clear, I don't think this precludes anything between Jim and Oluwande. Vico is openly and proudly polyamorous, the show has already demonstrated positive polyam rep, and it would not surprise me in the slightest if Jim turns out to be polyam as well (it's already hinted at in their flirtation with Spanish Jackie).

Jim and Izzy have no direct interactions in S1, so it's difficult to get a read on what they think of each other in canon. For that, we have to turn to some meta, based on what the actors have said about the characters.

Vico made it clear since before renewal that they *really* wanted some major character development between Jim and Izzy in S2. One possibility they threw out was Jim getting Izzy to open up in much the same way Oluwande got Jim to open up. We all know what that lead to between Jim and Oluwande.

Meanwhile, Con said Jim and Lucius are the two people who really throw Izzy out of whack. Specifically that Izzy is a little bit frightened of Jim.

This is me speculating here, but I think Izzy gets off on feeling afraid of someone. He is ostensibly the best swordsman in the world; there are very, very few people he's genuinely afraid of. Part of what puts him off about Edward is not finding him scary anymore. He *wants* to feel like this guy could kill him, and pushes to turn Edward back into that person.

Lucius confuses him because Lucius shouldn't be able to frighten him. And yet, Lucius scares him with the threat of public humiliation. (I know a lot of folks think Izzy has a kink for being shamed/humiliated, but I disagree. I think he loves dishing it out, but hates being on the receiving end.) It's after a look of fear comes over his face in the "ever been sketched" scene that he almost kisses Lucius.

So, given all that. If Izzy is a little bit frightened of Jim? Then Izzy is probably also a little bit horny about Jim.

We'll find out what the intent of this tweet is once we get our clutches on season 2, but my vote is that this is a Jim/Izzy reference.

[tricos-here]

I'm just throwing this out there because the song is making me insane and I don't know where else to put it so, yweyn theme song of all time: red sex (re-strung) by vessel

[m-jelly]

I have crafted a request for thee!

Okay, so this is heavily influenced by our bad boy Levi talk. When Levi protects the reader by fighting someone off and reader rewards him with VV time 👀 Then we’ve accidentally trained him to associate protecting us with VV time… not that we mind.

For bad boy, I would like our lovely mafia Levi boy. He’s powerful, fear strikes others just by the mention of his name. With power comes responsibility, where he has gained a lot of territory and has to frequently hold meetings to manage everything. At one particular meeting, we come into the room to drop off some tea for our love. Another person in the room, not realizing who we are to Levi, makes a comment about Levi having a female servant or something along those lines. Nothing too drastic as I’m sure Levi has trained his associates to watch what they say around him, but definitely not a kind/respectful comment. Levi, rushing to protect and defend us, growls and yells at the person. He threatens them, and it’s up to you if he bitch-slaps them or something 👀 We are very impressed/turned on by Levi’s power and BOOM, smexy times for reward 👀👀👀👀

Go crazy with the smut Jelly, I know you want this 👀

Also, write PP somewhere in this story 😇

Hiiiii skittles. You got it. I'll even att PP somewhere because I know you'll be "upset" if I don't.

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Trained.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Mafia AU, modern AU, Levi violent to a rude man, smut, oral fem receiving, dirty talk, multiple positions, unprotected sex, tattooed Levi, Levi in a suit, aftercare.

Concept: You text Levi to let him know you wanna fool around, but he's not replying. You hunt him down to find he's in a meeting. You deliver him tea just as he reads your texts. A man touches your bum and Levi shows him the rules, that you are untouchable. After making the man leave and everyone else, Levi eats you out before making love to you on the table and against the window.

PP.

You pouted when Levi didn’t text you back. The two letters were code for you that you were a bit horny and wanted him.

PP. 

You huffed when there was still nothing back from your lover. You were curious as to why he wasn’t responding to you. You’d dressed up all nice for him. You were in a smart shirt, pencil skirt and cute small heels. You looked sexy, smart and a bit cute too. 

PP. VV. Need cream.

You thought maybe the idea of him feeling you up with his hot cum would entice him, but he still didn’t text you back. You decided that you’d hunt for him and try and talk to him about how you were almost dripping with desire. 

You trotted through his base and saw Armin almost rush past. “Oh! Armin? Where is Bear?”

Armin stared at you for a moment as he took in your outfit. “Bear?” It clicked in his head you were referring to his boss, Levi. “Oh, Levi! He is in a meeting.”

You blushed knowing how naughty you’d been with your texts. “Right.” You gulped hard as you felt a tingle of nervousness in your fingers. You hoped and prayed that he hadn’t read his texts in the meeting. “I’ll go see him. Thank you.”

You hurried to the kitchen near the meeting room and made Levi a nice cup of tea. You slipped into his meeting room to see him at the head of the table. You blushed when he took his phone out and glanced at your texts. You watched as Levi’s eyes widened a little with a sparkle of delight. He looked up at you when you placed his tea down. He eyed you up and down in your outfit and parted his legs showing you that he was clearly horny. 

You winked at him and tried to leave, but you felt a hand on your backside. You jumped a little and turned to the culprit. You couldn’t believe that someone was touching you. Levi had made it very clear to his men that no one, and he means no one, can touch you. You are Levi’s.

The man grinned at you. “Look at you. You look like a hot slut I’d love to fuck. You the fuck toy around here?” 

You gasped at a bang on the table. You cast your eyes to the large table to see the man had a knife in his hand. You followed the hand holding it to see your boyfriend looking furious. You snapped your gaze back to the man as he screamed and cried in pain. You moved away from him and huddled yourself near Levi. Most would have found this terrifying, but to you, this was a turn-on.

You stared at Levi as he walked over to the man in his perfectly pressed suit. You looked to his thick neck to see the tattoos on his neck moving out from under his collar to consume his neck. You looked at his hands with more ink on them. You’d seen how your lover had his arms, back and legs covered in beautiful art and your name over his heart. 

You nipped your lip as Levi slammed his fist into the man’s face a few times before lecturing him on respect. You rubbed your thighs together and found your already soaking underwear was getting worse. You craved for Levi to ravage you against the table and window. You wanted him to dominate you and fuck you into a mushy mess and be leaking his cum from your ravaged pussy. 

Levi yanked his knife out and pointed. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back until you have a better attitude.” He watched the man run off before turning to you. “Everyone get out.”

You hugged yourself and moaned a little. “Levi.” 

He kept staring at you before he walked over to the doors and locked them. “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head. “N-No.” 

He approached you slowly, his smart shows tapping on the wooden floor making your body ache with desire. He reached out and cupped the side of your face making you hum. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You blushed a little. “Levi.”

He looked at your chest and watched as it rise and fell with excited breaths. “Do you still want what you asked for in your text?”

You whimpered and nodded. “Please. I need you.” 

He pushed his fingers into the hair on the back of your head. He yanked you close and kissed you with a delighted moan. He guided you to his spot at the table. He lifted you up and sat you on the table. He slowly lowered you down onto the bed as he kept kissing you. He released your lips letting you gasp for air as he trailed kisses down your body. 

He slowly unbuttoned your shirt to reveal your lace-covered breasts. He hummed and massaged your plump mounds. He dragged his tongue slowly over them before lightly nipping a spot. You gasped and sighed as he moved his lips down your body until he reached your skirt. You raised your bum so he could push your skirt up high enough for him to get access to you. 

“Bunny? I need to take your lace off.”

You lifted your bum. “Take them.”

He dragged your underwear off and dropped them on the table. “Incredible.” He sat on his meeting chair and sighed. “Delicious.” He moved closer. “Feet on the arms of my chair, my love.”

You did as he asked. “Of course.”

Levi ran his hands up and down on your thighs before leaning close. “What a delicious meal all for me.” 

You cried out in surprise and pleasure as Levi dove for your pussy. You pushed your fingers into his hair as you relaxed from his tongue. You hummed at his tongue swirling around deep inside you. You blushed a little when you knew that you were rather wet for him, but Levi was a big fan of eating you until you had nothing left to offer. He was addicted to it and craved it. Levi wanted to drown in you and be crushed between your thighs. 

Levi dragged his tongue up to your clit and sucked hard like it was candy. He massaged your thighs as he kept his eyes closed. He sighed through his nose as your legs shook in pleasure. He hummed and smiled against you as you filled his mouth with your honey. He took all your nectar until there was nothing left. He sucked a little harder and flicked his tongue against you making your body pop in bliss. 

You gripped at your shirt and moaned as you felt the warm trickle of pleasure go through you. “Levi.”

He lifted his head up and gasped. “Delicious as always, my love.”

You leaned up on your forearms. “You eat me like I’m going to run out.”

He stood up and undid his belt. “You might.” 

You hummed a laugh. “I won’t.”

He pulled his stiff erection out and moved his hand up and down on himself. “I’ll keep eating just in case.”

You giggled. “Alright, bear. Now, come here.” You opened your arms. “Show me how much you love me. How much you adore me. How those men should never touch someone like me because I am yours.”

Levi lined himself up and pressed in a little. He held your hips before slamming deep into you. He panted as he pumped his hips and plunged himself in and out of you. He stared at your bouncing breasts and enjoyed how they moved. He looked up to your pleasure filled face with your back arching off the table as you drool and cried out. He smirked as you felt you were drowning in ecstasy and lost your mind to Levi. 

You wiggled under Levi as your hands slapped around to grab something, anything at all, but you were in the middle of the table with nothing in reach. You gripped your breast and began massaging as your other hand moved down your body. You panted and whimpered as you hesitated at touching yourself. You locked eyes with Levi to see his slicked back hair was falling into his face a little. You felt yourself melting under his hypnotic gaze of possessive love and pleasure. 

Levi saw where your hand was. “Touch yourself. Nngh, please.”

You blushed and moved your fingers on your clit. “Yes, Levi.”

He panted. “Good girl. Good bunny.”

You locked eyes with Levi as you panted in pleasure. “I love you.”

Levi gripped your hips tighter as he moaned your name. “I love you too. You’re mine, all mine.” 

You smiled. “Yours.”

Levi moved harder against you as he enjoyed how soft and hot you were. He hummed as the room filled with the sounds of his rough thrusting and his cock plunging out of your wet pussy. He panted and moaned as your wetness dripped out of you onto the table. He felt your body grip him tightly with every plung of his cock deep into you. His heart and soul was all yours. He was possessed by his love for you. 

He plunged himself deep into you and grinded making you cry and whimper. You melted at feeling every inch of his thick length move within you. You gasped and shivered when you felt yourself slipping into pleasure. You arched your back off the table as your eyes rolled back. You coaked on your moan as you melted in bliss. You gasped in delight as you felt the pop inside you.

You clamped your legs around Levi as you held him close and came around him. “Fuck!” You gasped and hummed. “Levi.” 

Levi pushed his arms up the table and leaned on them on etiher side of your head. He played with your hair as he moved his hips against you. “So beautiful.” 

You wrapped your arms around Levi and softly kissed him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you always.” He pushed his hand under your head as his other moved under your bum. “Let me hold you. I’ll make love to you before having you against the window.”

A blush graced your cheeks. “The window…you’re very kinky today.”

He rolled his hips against you. “You do things to me. I desire you so much.”

You panted as you lifted your hips up to meet Levi. You panted and hummed as you felt your sensitive pleasure build up. Your body tingled in deligh as your lover moved their body against yours. You could feel every inch of Levi’s body inside you and against you. You lost yourself in the moment as you let Levi spoil you. You knew this man needed to worship you and fuck you to remind himself that you were together and you loved him, that you were right here with him.

Levi tapped his forehead against yours and panted. He closed his eyes and felt you, he really felt you. He loved how his cock filled you and strectched you just right. He loved how every move he made cause you to moan in ecstasy. He dug his fingers into your skin a little as he softly moaned your name. He opened his eyes and kissed you with all the love and passion he had in his heart for you. He moved so deep within you that the tip of his cock lightly kissed your cervix and begged to let it welcome his load. 

You pulled at his shirt and moaned into the kiss as you felt your coil tighten up. You wrapped your legs around Levi and held him close. You could tell he was nowhere near close to cumming inside you, but you still wanted to feel him deep within you. You were sure he had some sort of naughty plan for you. You massaged your fingers into his hair as you kissed him and let him take you into a heavenly bliss. 

You pulled from Levi’s lips and leaned your head back as he bit your neck all over. “Sh-shit.” You furrowed your brows and moaned loudly as your legs shook around your lover. You hummed as hot water rushed though you and spread its warming pleasure to every inch of you. “Levi.”

“You okay?”

You nodded and panted. “Yes.”

He held you against him and stood up. “I have one last place for you.” He carried you over to the window and pressed you against it. “Perfect.”

You blushed. “Someone might see.” 

“We’re too high up.” He gripped your thighs tightly and started slapping his hips against you. “You’re mine, all mine.” 

You pawed at Levi before clinging to him. You shivered at the cold window contrasting with Levi’s hot body. You squeaked when Levi shifted your legs and looped them over his arms. You whimpered and cried in pleasure as Levi pumped himself into you. You kissed Levi over and over again. You moved your tongue with Levi as your felt your pussy leaking honey from the pleasure thumping through you from every beat of your heart. 

You tangled your fingers in Levi’s hair and pulled his head back from you. You smiled at him as he humped you. “I love you. You were so sexy hurting that man for me. You showed him how I’m yours. I’m forever yours.”

“Mine.” He moaned your name. “All mine. I’m yours. Ha, ha, mm, ngh.” He shivered. “Uh, uh, hm, I’m close.”

You clenched your walls around his cock. “Cum inside me. Give it to me. I want it all.”

He panted and roughly kissed you. “Cum with me.”

You nodded and moved your hand down between you and Levi allowing you to play with your clit. “Ah, mm, fu, hngh, shit.” You yanked Levi’s face into your breasts and cried out in bliss. “Levi.” You shook in Levi’s arms as you felt your orgasm rip through you, your vision spotted as you lost yourself to pleasure. 

Levi grunted your name into your breasts. He pressed in deep as he came deep inside you. He nipped and sucked your skin as he enjoyed the pleasure rushing through him. He pulled back and panted as he gazed at you. He smiled and let out a long sigh. He captured your lips and hummed in happiness when you kissed him back. 

You hugged Levi and hummed. “Warm.”

He carried you to the table and sat you on the edge. He pulled out and tucked himself away. He grabbed your underwear and helped you up them on before fixing your clothes. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m great.” You giggled at his messy hair. “I’ve messed your nice hair up. Come here.”

He leaned closer. “Thank you.”

You fixed his hair nicely for him and laughed a bit. “All better.”

He looked up and kissed you. “You’re incredible. Thank you.” He sighed. “Sorry I got violent with that man in front of you, but he pissed me off so much. I don’t like you being hurt physically or verbally. Did he touch you?”

You hummed a laugh as he touched you and fussed over you. “He touched my bum, but I’m alright.” You hugged him tightly. “I’m perfectly good. You protected me. I’m happy and I’ve just had great sex with the man I love.”

He sat on his chair and pulled you onto his lap. He hugged you tightly and hummed. “I need to do better to protect you.”

“I’m good!”

He kissed the side of your head. “But you should be fantastic in how you feel.”

You laughed. “I’m fantastic.”

He massaged the inside of your thigh and he kissed your shoulder and neck. “I’m glad. I really am. I just love you so much.” 

You rubbed his chest and smiled softly. “I know you do. You look after me and care for me. I never feel used by you.”

He kissed you and smiled. “I’m going to take you out to dinner tonight.”

You gasped. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yes, my treat.”

[221bshrlocked]

i. Initiation

Stirring Sensations Masterlist

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2325

Warning: lots of really inapropro thots all because of that.fucking.chain.

A/N: I’ve had a really bad week and it only got worse last night and I almost had to go to the ER but crisis averted everyone and I’m about to fuck up this presentation but I needed to write this because wow we’re all so horny for this man and that chain he wore during the D23 Expo 2019. Also, this tiktok didn’t help. There might be a second, more NSFW part. Depends on if yall like this :)

You couldn't stop staring at it. Lord knows you tried your hardest to be aware of the conversation going on but it was impossible.  It wasn't even anything special, just a shiny little chain, and yet you were absolutely hypnotized by the way it hung around his neck. Why you found it absolutely mesmerizing with that shirt you would never know but there was something about the way he carried himself around, especially today, that had you wishing you were bold enough to say something. But no, he was a friend. And he was kind enough to invite you to an after-party with his colleagues whom you still tried your hardest to act naturally around. 

But fucking hell this was hard. It kept on swinging around with every little movement he took, whether he was motioning dramatically with his hand as he explained something about one of the scenes or was simply leaning over and laughing over something Jon said. It was just...there. Taunting you. Begging for your attention. Any kind of attention. 

You kept on staring at it as you drank your wine, occasionally nodding along to pretend you weren’t imagining biting down on the chain and tasting his sweat on it as he fucked you into the mattress. It was getting difficult with every passing moment though, especially when he had to nudge you a few times to ask your opinion on something and furrowed his eyebrows when you apologized and told him to repeat his question. 

You thought you were being subtle enough but then Pedro leaned over and whispered something in your ear and you all but lost control, the sharp intake of breath making him lean away and ask if he’d done something wrong.

“N-no sorry I- god, I think I drank too much. I just need...some fresh air. Be back in a minute.” Pedro stared at you as he nodded, and you watched as his hand slipped under his shirt to scratch at his clavicle, the action forcing your eyes to the chain yet again. Before you could stop yourself, your tongue was peaking out and licking your lower lip, wishing it could lick across the shiny necklace if only for a second. Once you realized what you’d just done, you raised your eyes and met his, finding the usually umber brown eyes dilated and unforgiving in their gaze.

And then he mirrored your actions and licked his lips and you knew you needed to get away from him before you made a fool out of yourself. 

“Excuse me,” you smiled at everyone and walked to the balcony of the restaurant, finding a quiet and private spot in the corner overlooking the awfully busy street. Taking a deep breath, you shut your eyes and leaned against the wall, finally allowing your mind to give into the pathetically filthy thoughts involving Pedro’s fucking chain of all things. You thought of what it would feel like to pull on it as he kissed the air out of your lungs. Wished you could twirl it around your fingers as he licked and nipped down your neck before slipping his hands beneath your pants. Fuck, what you would give to just bite down on it, maybe lick it and his skin as he used you to get his cock off. Would he let you suck on his neck, that glorious fucking neck that was somehow always glistening and smooth and so fucking inciting? Would he moan when you tell him how sexy you found it, especially with that floral shirt? Goddamn that shirt. It was so loud and yet he pulled it off. And with those light brown pants that were positively tight and almost left nothing to the imagination...

But none of that compared to how captivating he looked with that chain. It was very rare for Pedro to look unattractive in whatever clothes his stylist picked out for him. Actually, that wasn’t true. Pedro never looked bad in anything, even if it was a worn down sweatshirt or jeans. He just always looked nice and you weren’t sure if it was because you’ve had these feelings for him for so long or if it was because he was an honest-to-god sex symbol. 

You rubbed at the base of your throat, thinking of worshiping him and kissing down his neck before he forced you down on your knees and fucked your face. And to hear that voice, that beautiful, deep, hoarse voice as he moaned and swore and growled at you as you pleasured him. What a sight he would be. 

When you took longer than he anticipated, Pedro excused himself and walked past the balcony doors, surveying the large open area and almost walking back in when he didn’t find you anywhere. But then he noticed you in the corner near the edge of the railing, tilting his head to the side when he saw how hard you were breathing. He approached you carefully, his eyes taking in the way you were rubbing at your neck and harshly you were biting down on your lower lip. 

So busy imagining the touch of his hand on your heated skin, you didn’t notice Pedro’s presence until he broke you from your haze with a concerned question.

“Are you okay?”

You jumped and grabbed at your chests when you heard Pedro, rolling your eyes when he started laughing and apologized before rubbing your arms to calm you down. 

“Jesus Christ you scared the fuck out of me. God, how many times did I tell you not to do that?” You gulped before turning to the railing, trying to calm your heart rate so he didn’t suspect anything.

“Not my fault you’re so jumpy.” You shook your head at his teasing comment, taking in a deep breath to try and forget what you were just thinking about before he interrupted you. “You were gone for a while...is everything okay? Did something happen and you don’t want to tell me?”

“W-what? No no nothing...nothing happened I promise. I just needed some air. It was getting a little intense back there. Sorry I’m just not used to being around so many, you know-” You trailed off and hoped Pedro wasn’t offended by your words because the last thing you wanted him to think was that he was bringing you to anxiety-inducing gatherings. 

Your smile faltered when you finally glanced at him, finding it near impossible to not shift your attention to the unbuttoned collar and the godforsaken inanimate object hanging around his neck. Pedro was taking in your changing expressions, trying his hardest to figure out what was going through your mind and hoping it mirrored what was going through his.

But he didn’t have to wonder for too long because all of a sudden, you were reaching up and pushing his shirt apart, and he felt his heart skip a beat when your fingers lightly trailed across the chain he was wearing. He didn’t dare to say anything, afraid you’d break out of whatever trance you were in. He hoped to whatever higher power existing out there that he wasn’t misreading the situation because he wasn’t sure how much more he needed to control himself. You continued to stare at him as you traced the outline of the cold metal, slipping your hand beneath it to touch his skin. Pedro shivered when one of your nails scratched at the hollow juncture just below his Adam’s apple and he all but lost it when feather-light touches skimmed over the cartilage moving down his throat. Your fingers descended down his throat again, and he ceased to breathe when you twirled his chain around your index finger before tilting your head to the side in interest. When you licked your lower lip and began to lean forward, Pedro couldn’t hold back anymore. 

“Fuck…” The growled expletive snapped you out of your haze and you snatched your hands away, about to start apologizing to him and begging him to pretend that you weren’t just pretty much assaulting the man in public.

Pedro regretted the way he responded to you when he saw sheer panic and fear etched on your beautiful features. He didn’t think of what he was doing as he pushed you further into the wall and cornered you between his arms. Pedro wanted to make sure you weren’t about to run away from him because now that he had you here, with a pretty good idea of what you were thinking of, he wasn’t about to let you go. 

You watched as his jaw muscles clenched tightly, unable to look away from his dark eyes as he stared down at you.

“I thought I was imagining things...the entire day. You’ve been...you kept on looking at me like...like you were- like I was-” Pedro gulped to try and contain his thoughts, not wanting to scare you by what he’s been thinking of when he caught you looking at him like you wanted to devour him. “Every time I looked at you, you would either look away or pretend you were talking to someone else. But fuck baby I didn’t think- didn’t think you’d ever...fuck. I can’t stop thinking about you sweetheart, and if I’d known that it would take me wearing this fucking chain...goddamn, I would have worn it a long time ago if it meant you’d look at me like you were imagining...that I- that we- Please...I- I...shit, are we on the same page here baby or am I completely misreading this entire situation?” Pedro stuttered through his admission and you weren’t sure if you found it cute or sexy that he was trying to hold back from telling you what he’s been thinking about. 

“Pedro-”

He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, and he couldn’t care less if he was being honest, because you were in his arms, devouring his lips and fisting your hands in his shirt as he snuck his tongue into your mouth and kissed you with every ounce of his being. You sighed into him as you felt his hand slip into your hair at the nape of your neck and pull on it. You were thankful that he had his other arm wrapped around you because you felt faint with every little moan he whispered into your mouth. Nothing could have prepared you for the intensity of his kiss. You would never tell him but watching his on-screen kisses did something to you and you always thought he would be generous with whoever he was with but this, this was something else. It was a cliché but this must have been what it felt like to watch a shooting star fly through the sky. It had to be. It was magical, intimate, and absolutely breathtaking. 

When Pedro pulled away and looked down at you, he couldn’t help but push himself flush against your heaving chest, once again swearing when he felt your shivering hands slip beneath his shirt and pull on the chain. He followed your lead and molded his lips with yours, this time more carefully and with less desperation. You smiled against him, and let out a deep breath when you felt him smile into the kiss. Pulling away from him, you rested your head on his chest and let go of his shirt, trailing your hands across his back to try and somehow pull him closer to you.

“I- I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” His voice was soft, exuding calmness and joy. But you could hear his heartbeat and you knew he was just as nervous as you.

“Me too.” 

Pedro grabbed your shoulders and pushed you away so he could take a look at you.

“This isn’t a- I’m not...I’m all in baby. I’m all in, if- if you want to give us a shot. Please.” Silence enveloped the air around you and you looked into Pedro’s eyes, finding nothing but love and hope and happiness in them. You’d always wanted to make him happy, he deserved the world. And now that you knew you could, it was indescribable. 

“I’m yours Pedro.” 

You smiled when you noticed the familiar dimples take over his expression, sighing in relief when he pulled you against him once more and tightened his hold on you.

“Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed your hand and moved towards the restaurant. 

“What? No wait Pedro this is your day. I’m not- we could figure this out after tonight. I’m not about to ruin your night. It can wait.” Your eyes widened in surprise when he stepped towards you and grabbed your cheeks so you could look at him.

“Baby...I waited to hear you say those words for too damn long. I need to have you all to myself tonight. Please. I’m- I’m begging here. They won’t mind I promise. I just- I want you in my arms. I want to touch you and kiss every inch of you and hold you until you get tired of me. I want to whisper sweet things in your ears and show you how much I lo- how much I care about you. I want you. And I can’t wait anymore. Please hermosa.” Pedro noticed the small gasp emanating from your lips at the last nickname, and he raised an eyebrow when you turned away from him to look at something else.

“Oh, good to know.” He laughed when you narrowed your eyes at him in annoyance.

“Come home with me hermosa. Please.” He knew he had your undivided attention when you looked up at him, barely holding back from smiling because you could never refuse anything when he used that tone with you. 

“Ok.”

Pedro leaned in one last time and kissed your forehead before taking your hand and walking back inside. Well this was going to be interesting. 

[mochibrokenheart]

SVSSS: Guardian of the Museum

Mobei Jun x Shang Qinghua

Word Count: 2,756

Summary: Of course there's ominous growling and destruction to the building on Shang Qinghua's first night as a museum curator. Of course there is! Besides being desperate to keep the job, he's not sure what possesses him to actually walk toward the dangerous situation. His survival instincts were better trained that! Except...wait a minute...the terrifying creature causing all the ruckus is actually the hottest thing he's ever seen???

My first contribution for Moshang Monsterfucking Month (and my first fic for the fandom in general!) Heavy on the monster part as the nsfw is not explicit. Who knew that it would be hard to write something short. Inspired by the Day 2 prompt: horny.

Also posted on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34305571

A nearby bell tolled at midnight just as Shang Qinghua locked up the museum for the night, which meant that he was officially off for the weekend. Being a party of one, he celebrated with a groovy victory dance while turning the key over in the lock.

There was a little click and he rattled the knob, checking that the door was properly locked—if anything was stolen or vandalized during the night, he would most definitely be blamed as the recent hire!

The job was an important stepping stone in his career path plan to being a rare artifacts curator. He really needed the experience. It was hard enough to land the job, so he wasn’t above looking neurotic by double, and triple, and quadruple checking everything before he left.

A chilly breeze tussled his hair and raised goosebumps down his neck. It was October, he supposed while drawing up his hood to block the chill, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to complain.

He was much to delicate for cold temperatures and would exercise his right to curse out the changing seasons. Of course, he could move somewhere further south, so that he wouldn’t have to put up with it anymore, but still!

The only good thing about the loss of summer was the bugs, he decided.

Clearly, Shang Qinghua was irresistible because bugs treated his blood like an all-you-can buffet. If only hot men thought the same. But alas.

Sighing, he turned up to admire the full moon, who seemed to sympathize with the sad state of his romantic affairs, being the moon and all. Something about it’s pale gray-white color naturally emoted a sad, longing reflection.

It was as he was looking up that he heard a growl, loud not because of its pitch—it was actually quite low and gravelly—but because it vibrated the very air around him.

Shit. Shit. He wasn’t equipped to deal with some beast! He had no weapons and there was no way his body was going to get the job done either. He was a delicate flower, just ask the bugs who always feasted on him!

He rummaged through his bag frantically for his phone. That was what the authorities were for.

Opening his phone, his mind was racing. Who did you call when there was a potentially wild animal on the loose? The police? Animal control?

Gasp! What if it turned out to be a demon?

…!!!

He didn’t have any shamans or priests on speed dial. There had never been a reason to until then but if it would save him, he’d buy up every type of religious necklace he could and wear them around his neck daily. It was like insurance—it never hurt to cover all of his bases.

While he was wasting time on the sidewalk, what appeared to be small bits of gravel drifted down from what seemed like the roof. Scurrying to get closer to the streetlight, which casted a circular light on the steps of the museum, Shang Qinghua bent down to get a closer look.

It felt dusty when he rubbed his pointer finger against his thumb and did match the shade of stone the building was…The new evidence presented a bit of dilemma. Yes, he was still itching to call somebody have them do the dangerous work, but at the same time, his boss might fire him if something happened to the museum under his watch.

“Well, if there’s more damage, I guess I’ll take a look,” he muttered. He clasped his hands together. “But please, take mercy on me, moon! I promise that if you get me out of this that my next erotica will be dedicated solely to you, and in very large print, so that my readers know the reach of your mystical power!”

His hands remained clasped high above his head as he waited. So far so good.

There was still the scary growls, of course, but those didn’t count because he wasn’t going to investigate that. It was absolutely common knowledge that people who investigated weird sounds always ended up dead, at least in horror movies, and that was all the proof he needed to wash his hands of it.

No, the only thing that could sway him from his crouch on the front steps was…was…

Tears shimmered in his eyes as more rubble was knocked off from the roof, the fine particles irritating his nose and causing him to sneeze.

Thoroughly betrayed, he used his sleeve to wipe at his nose. Forget the moon. Clearly the bond he felt had only been one-sided, and now he was obligated to actually suck it up and put himself in harms way.

The Shang Qinghua of five minutes ago would’ve screamed and called himself a fool. Why ignore those highly honed flight instincts?! Even the Shang Qinghua of the present was screaming and calling himself a fool when he took the first hesitant step inside.

It was deceptively quiet in the stairwell but that wasn’t enough to calm him. As the saying went, it was the calm before the shit storm and he was about to be right in the middle of it. How careless of him.

Just in case this was the end, he started to draft an epitaph—it’s not like anyone else would put in the same amount of effort. 

His minor following would be too busy wailing about the permanent book hiatus; his boss would have their hands full dealing with insurance over the architectural damage; and that hot-and-cold cucumber bro of his would still be nagging him in the afterlife, criticizing him for his stupid plan when it ‘clearly would’ve been better to do such and such’. But back to him.

We are gathered here to mourn the passing of one Shang Qinghua, a bright hamster that was taken from Earth far too soon. His exhibit work was flawless, his knack for collections cataloging unrivaled. There was never a day without bountiful office supplies with him around. We thank him for his singular brave—foolish?—sacrifice in the name of historical value. Shang Qinghua is survived by several dying houseplants and the stray dog he usually fed on his way home from work.

There. That sounded as good as he was likely to get. Wait. No. He almost left out the most important part: the secret letter of last words meant only for cucumber bro’s eyes. Bro, if you’re reading this it’s because I died a terrible and scary death. Please take pity and wipe all of my search history. It was all for research, honest! It’s bad taste to judge a dead man.

The access door to the roof was large and imposing in front of him, even though there was still no noise coming from the other side. He was going to be mad and then relieved, in that exact order, if this turned out to be nothing.

He inhaled. Exhaled. Jumped around and shook his hands where they hung down beside the length of his body. He’d watched enough athletes—for research!—throughout his short life and getting loose always seemed to pump them up for competition. The same principle should apply here.

The door gave with a loud screech and he suspected that it wasn’t in regular use. Not that there was probably much to see up there anyway. Just roosting pigeons, stone slabs, and—

His mind went blank.

Crouching in the corner, so close to the edge that all it would take was a gust of wind to send him tumbling down, was some sort of winged creature. And the wings were massive things that arched up before curving downward completely over it’s back, the tips draped on the ground. Judging by how large they were, they had to be functional, which nearly caused him to wet himself. 

He didn’t want to imagine that thing taking flight after him. Not that he would be exciting prey. Gods, this probably how a mouse felt when a hawk was flying overhead.

But it was the horns that really caught his attention. They were hulking black spirals and the sharp points were pointed right at him. Even in the poor light, it was obvious that they were pure black. Any other time, he might comment on how cool they actually were, how they were a cosplayer’s dream, but it wasn’t cool when it was a matter of life and death. 

And he would most certainly die if those menacing horns and wings were any indication.

Trying to keep the element of surprise, he slowly let the door swing shut. Until a little bat started flew over squeaking, which caused him to squeak as well. The door hit the frame with a loud rattle. His body went heavy with fear and his eyes snapped shut, a natural prey response. He had never, ever been this scared.  

Not patient enough for Shang Qinghua to turn around on his own, the creature flung him around to face it with an aggressive growl. And he had thought it was loud when he was on the sidewalk. Which wasn’t true at all. It was much louder and more intimidating when it was right in his face.

“Trespasser!” it growled, teeth clicking.

…Okay, so it could talk. Maybe this was a good thing. Now could grovel with it to spare him!

Blinking rapidly, he opened his eyes and looked up, up, up. It didn’t look as horrific from the front as it did the back. In fact, it had a humanoid appearance and was distinctly male. He was the hottest thing he’d ever seen, a total fantasy come to life. How the hell was he real?

His was incredibly tall, his huge wings proportional to his size now that he was standing up. Now that he saw them up close, Shang Qinghua noticed that they were a beautiful shade of blue that started out dark but lightened to pale blue once it reached the tips, which also had sharp spikes—Nails? Claws? He wasn’t well versed in anatomy—attached.

The top of his ears were pointy, too, just like the tops of the wings. Oh, and the horns! There were two of them, both pure, glossy obsidian, that sprouted out on either side of his temple, the bases thick and ridged as they spiraled like a ram’s. The only difference was that his horns were much larger. He could maul someone with those along if he wasn’t careful.

But now that he considered it more—even in times of crisis, he could multi-task when it really counted—the horns only added more to his attractiveness. They were intimating, sure, but also sexy, in a monsterfucking type of way. He gasped as a clawed hand wrapped around his throat. Yep, he could definitely get into the horns and claws. Mark him down as scared and horny.

The growling died down but sharp teeth were still on display, and there was a stylized tattoo-looking mark on his forehead. Despite the snarl, Shang Qinghua instinctively knew that his face was insanely attractive; it had to be to match the rest of him. Speaking of the rest of him…

He dropped down in front of him, making sure to drag his hands down that ripped physique and gave his massive pectorals a quick squeeze before he landed on his knees in a kneeling position. 

His face was right in front of the creature’s impressive package, covered only by a flimsy loin cloth. It fluttered in the night breeze and he had to bite down on his finger to stop his depraved moaning. “Ff-forgive me, my good-demon-sir, but I swear I’m not trespassing. I’m a humble worker here at this museum.”

He quickly took out his employee badge to offer it up to the demon who barely gave it a glance. “Gargoyle,” it said in reply.

“Oh. I’m sorry but I don’t really know what you mean by that.” Wait, why did he say that? He didn’t want to get further in the demon’s bad side than he already was! “I mean no offense, of course. I’m sure gargoyles are absolutely lovely—”

“No,” he interrupted, his face smoothed out into blank slate. It made it harder to read him but Shang Qinghua quickly decided that it was alright. “I am a gargoyle, human. You may address me as Mobei Jun.”

Ohhh. Now that he mentioned it, his wings and horns could belong to a gargoyle. He knew that they were popular parts historical buildings that had a strong Western influence, which the museum did.

“And I am a king. Not a sir.”

Curse his authority kink. He was sure that any new fantasies he conjured up would be staring this particular king and Shang Qinghua as his servant.

“Of course, my king! You’re reeking of kingly handsomeness. As a lowly human, my apologies for the obvious mistake.” The gargoyle king didn’t make any move to acknowledge his words other than a slow blink, so he figured that it was all good. “Excuse me if this sounds rude, but what are you doing up here? And what was all the noise about?”

“Guardian. I was charged with the safety of this place by a war lord.” Jeez. So he’d been with the building for centuries at least, maybe even millennia.

There was a pause and he realized that he wasn’t going to answer the second question. It also seemed like the gargoyle king was waiting on him and a light bulb went off. “S-sorry again my king. I am Shang Qinghua. I am in charge of the rare artifacts inside of the building, so you may see me closing up most nights.”

The gargoyle king nodded sagely and he figured that the role must be acceptable to him. A loud sigh left him and his muscles relaxed just in the slightest way. He might survive this encounter yet. Ever better, survive and be able to go home and break out that new bottle of lube that he bought last week. There was plenty of new material to work with, that was for sure.

Then the gargoyle stepped back, giving him more space, which was actually the opposite of what he wanted. Feel free to punish him for earlier transgressions, king, especially if they were rough in a sexy way!

Unaware of his inner pleadings, he continued walking away to crouch back near the edge of the roof.

“Umm, be careful, king. It’s dangerous to be that close—”

“I am a king. Concerns such as that are not applicable,” he said, puffing up his chest. Those pecs! He might have to put in a request tomorrow to do more work on the roof. It was a crime that no one was admiring that body on a regular basis. “Leave. Return home. The circles under your eyes are hideous.”

He gasped, touching his bags. Rude! He had just finished a long shift and definitely wasn’t at his best. He was going to have to step up his game if he was going to tempt this gargoyle in the future. Trying his best not to show embarrassment, or disappointment, he agreed to leave.

“Whatever you want, my king. I’ll leave for now but if you need anything, I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after as well. In fact, every night, in case you need me.” Screw his weekend off. Who needed one of those when there was a hot gargoyle of legend serving as the guardian of the museum. Not him, that’s who.

He scrambled to his feet and bowed again for good measure. The door was open and he was across the threshold when his dream gargoyle muttered something. “Did you say something, my king?”

He cleared his throat and spoke gruffly. “The pigeons pooped in my hair.”

Suddenly, the growling from earlier made sense. No matter if you were human or gargoyle, having birds shit in your hair, especially hair as luscious as Mobei Jun’s, was bound to make anyone furious.

Determined to keep his laughs to himself if it was the last thing he did, he merely replied, “Yes, my king. I will make sure to chase them away from you next time.”

“See that you do.”

On cloud nine, Shang Qinghua grinned as he bounded down the stairwell. The gargoyle’s comment implied that there would be a next time. And he intended to romance the loincloth off (literally) of the serious gargoyle king.

Hope you all enjoyed! So happy to share this with everyone. Thanks for reading :)

[dude1818]

Before I get into this liveblog post, I want to revisit some previous comments.

One, I said the Emperor in the first few chapters reminded me of Hohenheim. I adjust that slightly: he’s like if Hohenheim actually was Father, with the Lyctors (way too powerful; get into petty fights) as the homunculi.

Two, I’m pretty confident Gideon’s soul is in the two-hander. One piece of evidence was the “five lights” that Harrow saw as they left the River on the first trip to the Mithraeum. However, there’s a lower chance the fifth light was Cytherea, since something is still funky about her corpse. Theoretically the fifth soul could be Cytherea’s cavalier’s soul, but I don’t even know how that would work.

Three, this theory is more something that I think would be funny rather than reasonably expect to happen. We know that the name of Ortus the First is traumatizing to Harrow, based on how the narrator in the second-person parts refers to him only as “the other Lyctor” and that she fainted when she first learned it. There was also a person named Gideon among the first batch of Lyctors. Based on the scrap about them in the first book, that Gideon was probably a Lyctor, but imagine: what if the topic of cavaliers comes up again, and Ortus says that his cavalier was named Gideon. That would probably irreparably break Harrow, and she doesn’t even know why.

Chapters 17-38

We learn Ortus’s cav’s name in the very next chapter, so so much for that

Harrow keeps stressing how much she doesn’t have an interest in touching Ianthe’s boobs, huh

“Harrow regretted not making him take a solemn pledge of silence, to walk the place as the mute and intimidating bulk his father had been; but only a very obedient idiot of a cavalier would have stuck to that.” 😆

I had been spoiled that something was trying to kill Harrow and making her live in fear. I definitely didn’t expect it to be one of the other Lyctors, even though they hate her.

The imagery of her bones exploding outwards in attack formation was very cool though. Felt like a Dark Souls boss or something.

Ooh, I wonder if this is what the real Dulcinea and Protesilaus were like. Not sure how Harrow would be able to conjure that up in her what, hallucinatory rewriting of history?

The “cool S,” really

SOUP. That’s exactly how I wanted that scene to go

I had seen fan art of Ianthe’s arm. Knew it looked like Ninth handiwork

I think it’s interesting to contrast Gideon’s horniness in the previous book with Harrow’s insistence that’s she’s totally not horny for Ianthe’s bones

I don't remember at what point I started to suspect that Ortus wasn't even the Saint of Duty's real name. Before Mercymorn asked Harrow what his name was, at least. This confirms that it's the full twist (that I had almost guessed at the top of this post): "Just believe me when I say that when I want Ortus to go, he’ll be giddy-gone."

Whatever happened to dios apate minor? 🤣

Camilla and Palamedes are back, yay! And the first pronoun in the first person, ooh

It's interesting that all the people who are alive in Harrow's memory of Canaan House are the ones who died in reality

I love Teacher. He's the fun kind of immortal

Harrow's gonna be the traitor, huh 😔

"You were always such a little bitch when you were angry." Oh how I miss you, Gideon. (See also this post)

[petitommo]

re: (not so) small rant about Theo, Liam and season six of Teen Wolf

(original post by @livingbythewords, you can find it linked here. i originally wanted to reply to the post, but replies are turned off. i’d reblog it, but it’s pretty long, so i wanted people to get to choose whether or not they wanted to read it...)

i saw this post in the liam tag when i woke up yesterday, and i kept sporadically thinking about it and discussing it with people (and in my own head), and i definitely have some thoughts about it, not gonna lie... still, as i said, absolutely feel free to ignore this if this ain’t your cup of tea at all, but if you wanna hear my thoughts about 1. livingforthewords’ post and 2. theo, liam and season six of teen wolf, feel free to look under the line break :)

(i’ll be posting some of the lines from the original post for context to what i’m saying, but if you do wanna read my answer, i recommend reading the original post as well! let me also preface this by saying this is in no way meant as hate towards the creator, sceo as a ship, or scott mccall as a character. i found some parts of this post had traces of what i’d consider to be a harmful way of thinking about fandom and shipping, and i wanted to adress it.)

the post mentions early one that liam brings theo back to use him, and that as soon as he finds out theo no longer has josh and tracy’s abilites, he wants to send him back. that the only reason he doesn’t is because theo remembers stiles. with this, you say that you see thiam shippers claim that liam does it from the goodness of his heart.

personally, i’ve never seen claims that that was the reason liam did it. i have, however, seen (and personally think this myself) that theo coming back from the hell he’s been put in by the hands of liam, might make theo quick to develop a bond or feeling of gratitude towards liam. there’s no doubt in my mind that theo understands why liam did it — but even then, it still got him out of there. in canon, no other pack member but liam even entertained the idea of getting theo back — i think theo is very aware of this, as well — which in itself automatically makes liam the safest pack member for theo to latch onto, from the get go.

Liam distrusts and despises Theo – and it never changes throughout the course of the show.

again, with the basis of liam and theo’s developing aquaintance in season six (heavily conveyed through non verbal communication - both in the form of touches/glances/body language and the things written between the lines; the things not specifically worded, but definitely said through their dialogue), there’s a lot that can be up for interpretation.

when i watched the show, i saw two characters who, yes, clearly had a shared hatred towards each other, learn how to work together and develop a tentative trust (that only grew throughout the season). i saw two characters that shouldn’t work together, work together insanely well, to the point where no verbal communication was strictly necessary.

my point is, thiam as a ship is heavily influenced by interpretation of what you see in their dynamic, and i find it troublesome that you look at other people’s interpretation and publicly say;

However, shipping someone and having fun with it is not the same as twisting into knots to try to prove that canon supports something, when it doesn’t.

especially when you follow this up by saying;

Yes, there is a person who acknowledges that Theo has changed. Who trusts and supports him even when they have no reason to. Who is always there for him and tries to treat him fairly even after being incredibly hurt and betrayed.

But that person isn’t Liam.

because you and i watched the same show, and we clearly have majorly different interpretations of season six; of theo’s relationship with people post-hell; of liam dunbar as a character.

however, i am not gonna claim that you’re wrong, and i’m right. your interpretation is entirely different from mine — and yes, based on what i saw, i do personally think you’re wrong, but here’s the thing; i understand that interpretation of this is just that; interpretation. theo isn’t canonically linked with anyone, therefore i cannot say that thiam is right and sceo is wrong — even as that’s my personal view of it.

back to the theo and liam and thiam shippers adressed in this post;

i want to preface my response to this with the fact that i myself have been/are in healthy BDSM dynamics. i have also jokingly said that theo ‘probably enjoyed it’. i have online friends who have joked about theo enjoying it. and here’s the thing; none of the people i know seriously think theo, in that exact setting, enjoyed it.

a great thing about fandom and shipping is the exploration and discovery of one’s own sexuality. we often talk about it openly; we discuss it with people, we’re ‘horny on main’, we learn from fellow shippers, we read fanfiction. we joke around with stuff.

there’s no doubt in my mind that people do not think theo raeken got pulled back from hell, chained up and forced to follow liam and hayden around, and actually enjoyed it at that moment. however, can i personally see theo as a character that would enjoy being chained up in other situations? yes. a lot of us do. and so we joke about it.

joking about certain aspects of a BDSM relationship when you’re looking at/reblogging things from canon does not undermine how important a proper and healthy BDSM dynamic is.

the post also touches on theo being a traumatized kid with unhealthy coping mechanisms. this is, without a doubt, the core of theo as a character. however, by putting it in the context of why it’s wrong to joke about him being a sub/rope bunny, feels so misplaced to me. a lot of kinks develop from the trauma we have (talking from experience). a lot of kinks develop at — seemingly — random (talking from experience). being traumatized doesn’t automatically mean we develop kinks, sure, but it also doesn’t mean we do not develop kinks.

without a doubt - chaining him up and dragging him behind them was not a kind thing to do; i don’t think anyone disagrees with that. but at the end of the day, these are characters. theo is a character we’ve barely gotten to know, especially post-hell theo, so he develops in our mind, we have headcanons, we think of personality traits that weren’t shown in canon. some of those pertain to his sexuality, and that’s okay.

this also pertains to your gripe with people looking at canonical depictions of thiam and seeing it as love. again, even in the thiam shipping part of fandom, we have majorly different interpretations of certain scenes, and that’s okay. i’ve touched upon the importance of acknowledging that thiam as a canonically hinted at couple is all up for personal interpretation of their canonical depiction; this also means that people will see things very differently.

the original post was mainly aimed at theo and liam as a ship, so i won’t get into the comments about liam as a character that much, but i will say this;

even you yourself mention that liam absolutely has reason to resent theo. but, you go on to claim that liam doesn’t have as much reason for resentment as other characters.

liam might not have been personally wronged by theo in season five as much as other characters, i will agree with that. but, he did watch theo’s actions and influence in the things done to mason, to hayden, to scott. all people he loved. this, in itself, is reason enough to build resentment towards a person.

it’s also important to remember that theo lessened liam in his mind to the beta with anger issues, stripped away every complex part of liam and simplified him into this one trait that liam himself has struggled with and tried to distance himself away from.

liam struggling with being depicted as a monster — pre supernatural; because of IED, supernatural; as a werewolf — has been canonically shown so many times. it’s gotten us the line of «you’re not a monster. you’re a werewolf, like me.». we’ve been showed, time and time again, that liam has a complexity within him that is constantly undermined — by brett, by stiles, and yes; by season 5 theo.

sadly, i also see liam simplified and put into the box of beta with anger issues by the fandom. this also, from what i’ve read on your blog and from statements about liam in this post, includes you.

how does that change in season six? let’s get back to the claim at the start of this post; of thism shippers claiming liam is the only one who trusts and supports theo, and look at it this way; theo — previous homicidal maniac out to ruin the pack (put simply; we’re both theo apologists, we know there’s more to him than that) — is one of the first people to look at liam’s anger and not let it be his only character trait.

the post mentions glances in the truck scene; this is what the truck scene (in my mind) is really about. theo acknowledges — even if not explicitly stated — that the anuk-ite’s ability to raise fear in people, raises anger in liam. he sees that liam’s anger is a direct consequence of the anuk-ite; he sees that the fear instilled in liam translates into anger; because of IED. this lets liam be a character that has IED, instead of just liam - the angry character.

this, again, is my interpretation of this scene. you might not have seen it that way. once again proving that this is a ship based on interpretation.

claiming that interpreting scenes is twisting canon until it fits your idea of it, is such a harmful way of looking at shipping. i have never interpreted anything romantic between scott and theo in canon, and could, in turn, claim that you twist canon until it fits what you want. but i’m not going to, because your interpretation of things doesn’t have to fit mine.

you can’t write a rant about thiam as a ship, state that you don’t want to tell anyone who to ship and that certain ships are wrong, and then undermine every interpretation anyone has had about liam and theo as a ship.

we’ve all seen the same season of teen wolf, we’ve all seen the exact same scenes (there are no version of the show you watched); but we’re all very different people. we interpret things very differently.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

do not undermine people’s ship. if you hate thiam, just stay away from it. don’t expose yourself to it. ignore it for all it’s worth.

it’s that easy.

[justlostinautumn]

Playing House 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Clint Barton x OC (Alexandra Knight)

Fury calls in help on a long hall mission that requires Clint to play house with someone he doesn’t know and has never met. Alexandra likes to work alone and isn’t one to play well with others. Nick and Alex have a past together and now Nick is asking his old friend to help out with the monitoring and infiltration of some HYDRA agents. But, not everything is as simple as it seems. Nick isn’t the only old friend Alex has on the team.

“You know they will have questions when we get back right?” Clint asked me.

“Yep.” Was my only response and he watched me as I looked down at my phone and smiled when I saw where the dots were.

“Where are we going?” Clint asked curiously.

“To a HYDRA base,” I smirk at him.

“What? We need the team!” Clint looks at me horrified and I can’t help but laugh at him.

“It will be in and out, collect the phones and then get out. It will be about 10-15 minutes max. I am 100% certain we can get in out with being undetected.” I smile and stroke his cheek.

“What are you hiding?” Clint was staring at me and I pulled him to sit down and I looked him in the eye taking his face in my hands.

“This is a trap, Dimitri always had their phones on this basis. I know this because he has been here and the phones had been travelling with him previously. He may be evil, but he is far from genius. They know we are going to infiltrate. This is a test to see if we would bring ‘back-up’, its more of a test for you than me. He wants to make sure you are rouge and not faking it.” I smile and stand up.

“So, how do we do this?” He asks.

“Walk through the front door,” I smirk.

We walked through and like I thought everyone was shocked as they thought they would be seeing a team of Avengers, so taking advantage of their distraction I pull out the whip and flick it out and twist the hilt and a crackle is heard and I twitch my wrist and it strikes and shocks several HYDRA soldiers I twist the hilt again and wrap it up and Clint has his swords in hand I pull out my own blade.

“Let’s see what you’re made of Ronin,” I smirk at him and he laughs as Agents charge he effortlessly works both blades and I have to admit it distracts me and I can’t help but bite my lip and moan softly.

“Enjoy the view.” He laughs at my face.

“From now on shirtless and with those swords at all time.” I groan as I pull him behind me pulling out my gun and shooting at everyone and anyone.

We get to the room and I open the door to two shocked individuals and pull out the electric discs and throw at them and they are incapacitated. I pull out a pair of cuffs and bring my phone out.

“Hey Marcus, need a pickup. The chips are out. Yeah, I’ve got the phones.” I answer Marcus questions as I carve and destroy the chips out of the two HYDRA agents at our feet. Hanging up the phone I sit in a chair and wait for Marcus.

“Who’s Marcus?” Clint looks at me, I can see worry and jealousy in his eye.

“It’s okay he’s my version of Fury. He and Fury get on very well.” I look at him and I can see him relax.

“Well done Cat. I will tell Fury about these two. I am assuming you want to interrogate them.” Clint jumps at the sound of Marcus and turns around and gasps when he sees the man who looks somewhat of a mirror image of Fury only he isn’t missing an eye.

“He’s Fury!” Clint looks shocked.

“I get that a lot. I’m Marcus Troubles handler, Nick and I are family.” Marcus nods.

“Brothers?” Clint looks shocked.

“Yep,” I smirk and Marcus gives me a scolding look.

“You and your brother both have the same scolding looks.” I pout at him.

“Behave, I will bring them to you okay?” Marcus nods at me.

“Fine. See you soon!” She smirks and grabs Clint and they walk out of the room.

Walking back into the compound with all the information given I could see Clint’s head spinning. Fury and Hill greeted us at the front door.

“Your brother is coming to visit.” I smile.

“I know and he told me you let spill too Clint.” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“He’s my husband, can’t be keeping secrets from him. That would lead to a really unhealthy marriage.” I smile at Fury and walk past taking Clint’s hand as I walk into the compound.

“Where are you going Trouble?” Fury follows behind us.

“We’re hungry and I’m not gonna lie a little turned on. So maybe food and then sex.” I laugh.

“NO!” Fury shouts and I can’t help but laugh and we walk into the living room to see all the Avengers lounging around watching TV. The news was playing showing images of a blown-up building.

“That’s a HYDRA base I wonder who did that,” Steve spoke and got murmurs of agreement.

“That would’ve been us,” I smirk as I pointed to Clint and I. His arm was around my waist.

“I’ll get us some food. What do you want?” He smiles down at me.

“Oh, I’d kill for some Pizza,” I smirk at him.

“You don’t have to kill anyone for that. Anything you want on it?” Clint laughs.

“Pepperoni with jalapenos and chillis.” I smile at him and he nods walking into the kitchen to order the food.

“Why didn’t you call back up?” Steve was standing up his arms crossed and I tilted my head.

“You are not that intimidating. Also, it was a test. Dimitri knew I killed his two agents, he had their phones. He wanted to make sure that your rouge agent was that. A rouge agent. If we stormed in with the Avengers we would be screwed, they were watching live. Well until I didn’t want them to.” I say as I shrug turning and walking into the kitchen.

“Kitty that was reckless!” Bucky scolds me.

“Nope, I knew what I was walking into as soon as Dimitri called. I don’t know how much you remember about him Barnes, he may be evil but he is no mastermind.” I looked around the fridge and then opened the freeze looking in each person draw and then I find what I’m looking for in Nat’s draw a bottle of Vodka.

“I knew I could rely on my Ballerina for a good drink.” I smile at Nat and she smirks at me walking towards me as I take a pull from the bottle and I offer it to her.

“Remember you are Barton's wife!” Marcus called.

“I know Marcus and it’s good you could make it here,” I smirk as everyone snaps their heads to where Marcus and Fury stand next to each other.

“There’s two of them.” Tony points between the two horrified.

“Yep!” I smirk.

“Your husband and this team don’t know all you’re dirty secrets.” Nick threatened.

“That’s just mean!” I pouted, looking at the two before I sigh getting up and walking over to Marcus who leads the way. We didn’t need to exchange words to understand what was happening.

“In there.” Was all he said with a nod of his head as the team ran up behind us with a displeased looking Nick.

“Tell me you covered the room in plastic.” Nick looked at his brother.

“Nope.” He smirks, “I have clean up waiting.”

“What?” Steve looked worried.

“Where’s Alex?” Bruce asked was the last thing I hear before the door closed a seconded late Clint walks in and tilts his head to the glass indicating we have an audience.

“Bitch!” One of the Agents hissed and his face met the table.

“The husband doesn’t like that kind of language,” I smirk at Clint who’s face held nothing but rage.

“We aren’t saying anything.” The other agent nodded her head.

“That’s fine, but Dimitri sent me to find those phones. You see I know he knew I killed the Rumlow’s. I also know he left the phone with you to test and see if my husband here was the rouge… which he is. I also know he put trackers in your arm tongue and various other places which I cut out. How stupid does he think I am?” I lean in close and I could smell the fear coming off them.

“I’d answer her, she’s a little crabby because she’s hungry.” Clint leaned in a smirked at me.

“Oh, I’m crabby because I’m horny.” I purred at him.

“I don’t believe you two are together. No rings?” The male agent smirked at me.

Clint walked around the table and pushed me against the two-way mirror and start to kiss me slowly, but then grew hungry as he worked his way down my neck. I couldn’t help the moan that passed my lips.

“Dimitri will be mad.” The woman spoke and I pushed myself off the wall and pulled out a knife and stabbed the woman in the gut.

“Dimitri doesn’t own me,” I growled.

“No, you’re just some slut.” The male spoke up and my knife landed in his thigh and he screamed in pain.

“I only need one of you for the information, I wonder why it was left with you two. HYDRA wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave it with two Agents who were in love.” I smirk as I drag their chairs to face one another, they both stiffen and I laugh. I could see the fear in the guys face and knew he would sooner spill then let his lover die Clint stood against the wall.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The woman grounded out between her teeth.

“That’s fine. But, I’m going to have some fun.” My blade dragged along her skin leaving marks and she kept her jaw clenched to stop herself from screaming. When I got to her thighs I plunged the knife in and left it there, her scream was ear-splitting. Pulling out another knife I did the same to the other leg.

“Feel like spilling?” Clint asked.

“Dimitri wants you back! He hopes the marriage is fake, but it’s not. Dimitri wants his Sweetie back and will do whatever it takes. But, he knows this is real… even a blind man can see it. He doesn’t care, he is hoping to recreate you so he can have you again. He is obsessed it’s not about making new assets it about brings you home to him.” He shouts.

“It’s not going to happen.” I look at him, I notice his girl pulling one of the blades out and I slam my hand back down hard and she screams and sobs.

“I thought they trained them better, hell Rumlow was practically blown to pieces and he didn’t cry,” Clint commented.

“Bastard.” The male shouted and I bought his face to meet my knee and cracked his nose.

“Rude much. What else does he want?” I ask knowing he was hiding something.

“He wants Soldat back. He stole you to breed with the asset to make an army of something more, he only feared he would dilute your genes and wanted to change himself so he could have you fully as his.” He sighed out looking exhausted.

“It’s all we know.” The woman sobbed.

“I believe you.” I pulled out my gun and without a second thought, I shot the half-dead woman and the male agent screamed and I turned and shot him too. Pulling the two knives out of the woman legs and wiping them on her shirt we walked out of the room to find Marcus waiting.

“Where do I send the body’s?” Marcus asks.

“I’ll send you the location and the note with it. There is more to this mission, more than wanting me to breed. That’s a lie the agents were told. I don’t think the people in suburbia know that I’m Project Zero, hell I don’t even think Dimitri knows.” I begin to pace until Clint grabs me.

“Why do you say that?” Clint asks.

“Because if he did, that base would have been heavily armed and we would have been captured. He wouldn’t have left the suburbs after the facility was blown up. He was honestly just testing to ensure we would do our jobs.” I look up at Clint.

“Anyone else scared to live with her?” Sam asked.

“No weapons in the bedroom. Fury tell her!” Tony looked pale.

“She marches to the beat of her own drum,” Nick smirks and Marcus laughs in agreement.

“That was hot!” Nat smiles and hugs me and I giggle and feel Clint still holding me tight.

“Hey, Nick do we have rings?” I tilt my head looking at him.

“Yes, here. Shuri had them specially made. They are Vibranium. Heres your engagement and wedding ring. Here’s your ring Barton.” Clint and I took each other's rings and put it on like one would at their wedding.

“I’m happy to say you are now man and wife! Alexandra, you cannot go round kissing Barnes or Romanov!” Nick warned pointing in my face and I pouted.

“What!” Both Bucky and Nat shout and I smile at them.

“Mine!” Clint growls behind me and I can’t help but laugh at his possessiveness.

“I thought Miss Knight would like to know the food has arrived,” FRIDAY informed and before anyone could say anything to me I was sprinting to where my food was waiting for me.

[jaredhollyheiditruth]

Solicitation of Minors, Part 2 (Charlie)

The second accuser to come forward with accusations against Jared Knabenbauer is a user that goes by the Twitter name “Charlie.” Charlie was introduced by Chai initially, and the two of them are friends. According to Chai, he learned about Charlie’s dealings with Jared while building his own case, and then the two of them spent over a year building a case before presenting it to NormalBoots and several other influencers on the YouTube/Twitch scene.

Now, Charlie’s case is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, Charlie has actual chat logs between them and Jared, so there’s a strong indication that the two of them actually did have sexual conversations and trade pictures. On the other hand?

Charlie admits Jared never knew their age.

So, already, we have an issue. As I mentioned in part one of the Solicitation of Minors posts, the accused has to knowingly solicit or be in possession of nudes of minors. Charlie entered a blog that outright stated it was for 18+, never stated their age, and then proceeded to commit a crime by sending pictures to Jared. Charlie even states openly at one point that the entire reason they didn’t tell Jared their age was because they feared Jared wouldn’t want to interact with a minor:

There’s a good reason why Charlie would think Jared wouldn’t interact with a minor. Every single one of Jared’s blogs was full of warnings that only 18+ (and in some cases, 24+) were permitted, and numerous sources have claimed to see him check for ages, including people that were publicly against him and just trying to prove he kept the blog going:

Maybe Charlie slipped through the cracks. Maybe they’re the one that Jared somehow forgot to ask. That still doesn’t change the fact that they not only entered an adults-only blog and failed to reveal their age, they admit they did so because they feared Jared wouldn’t knowingly interact with a minor.

Charlie posted chatlogs between themself and Jared, and at this time I would like to briefly explain a concept called “Poisoning the Well.”

Wikipedia summarizes the definition of Poisoning the Well a type of informal logical fallacy where irrelevant adverse information about a target is preemptively presented to an audience, with the intention of discrediting or ridiculing something that the target person is about to say.

What Charlie engaged in when they presented their logs was a variation of this logical fallacy. First, let’s take a look at some of the chatlogs by themselves, and remember, Jared didn’t know Charlie was a minor, so objectively, this is a conversation between two presumed adults. Also, be warned that the following logs contain explicit language of a sexual nature. That should be a given, but I still want to warn people.

Now, I’ve never been the type to engage in sexting but once or twice, but at face value there’s absolutely nothing in these messages to indicate age, coercion, or any inappropriate behavior. To me, these just look like two people flirting and sexting, consensually, with no force or reluctance. But what happens when we add in Charlie’s subtext? You see, they didn’t just post these logs because the logs themselves aren’t incriminating. They don’t show any manipulation or unwilling behavior, so Charlie had to make sure people reading these logs had a “poisoned mind” before going into them, and we get what’s seen below. Note that in order to cross-reference the full post Charlie is commenting on, you may need to refer back to the logs in their entirety that I posted above.

Charlie tells us that telling a fan they’re cute is “skeevy” and that it implies impropriety. I don’t feel like this is an interpretation anyone would really come to on their own. Furthermore, Charlie makes sure to point out that they were “spurred” on by the attention, implying they didn’t want to continue. These are words geared towards making the reader feel a certain way before even reading the logs.

“Masturbating to someone you know without their knowledge is kind of weird, even if your relationship is sexual.” - I never knew this. Apparently, those past times where I masturbated while thinking of my sexual partners was weird because I didn’t call them first to let them know? And again, this post ends with Charlie frontloading how you’re supposed to interpret Jared’s wording, rather than letting the reader come to conclusions on their own.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard an adult refer to themselves or another adult as a “baby” because they were too timid to do something, I could retire. Here, Charlie is telling the reader that it “clearly” expresses that they’re “young, inexperienced, or vulnerable.” Again, I would like to remind you that Charlie was the one that brought up the orgy in the first place.

Again, Charlie is urging us to interpret their language as “childish” because their entire narrative relies on somehow being able to discern age, since Charlie intentionally hid their age.

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with this. Complementing in all caps is meant to trigger a strong reaction? This is the first time I’ve ever heard that logic. I always thought it was meant for emphasis, like shouting out of excitement or anger.

This one really got under my skin a bit, for a few reasons.

This wasn’t a random “send nudes at 3:00am” request, it was in direct response to Charlie saying “aw shit well now I’m horny.” Charlie tells Jared they’re horny, Jared says send nudes, and Charlie calls that a random solicitation?

“I say no.” No, Charlie didn’t say “no.” What Charlie said was “I would, but I’m curled up in a blanket rewatching your Until Dawn playthrough.” This doesn’t equate to “no,” it equates to “I want to, but I’m comfortable.” Also, when Jared says “pause that shit and fap!” Charlie’s response isn’t “I don’t want to,” but rather a sexually suggestive comment about having to go get a vibrator, to which Jared replies “Then you’re stuck being horny.”

Between posting these logs, Charlie still found time to take some attempted witty jabs at Jared’s expense, for no other reason than to ridicule him and make the reader biased against him:

Subtly making fun of Jared’s penis...

Making fun of Jared’s erotic writing skills...

There’s not much else to it, really. Charlie intentionally hid their age from Jared because they saw, based on the warnings in his blog and Jared’s routine blocking/dismissal of minors that it was unlikely that Jared would want anything to do with a minor. They were deceptive then, and now, when they post their side of the story, they lace every single log with “poisoned well” mentality, frontloading each chat message with bizarre logic and strange interpretations in order to force bias upon the reader. When taken in their proper context, it’s plainly obvious that Jared had no reason to believe he was talking to a minor, and that Charlie was not only happily complicit in the mutual exchange of sexting and nudes, but many of the instances were initiated by Charlie.

[commander-sarahs-art]

1 & 19 for ALL your babes 4 and 12 for Rhys 3 and 18 for Val 9 and 17 for Del

Put it under a read more cause she long, and by all I just went with Rhys, Val and Del, but if you like i’m more than happy to yell the rest of the answers for my like 80 other beebs

1-What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Rhys: her personality, from day one she was a smug ass horny lil shit.

Val: her race. I wanted a fish bb and her appearance came as soon as i decided on a Triton

Del: also her race. I wanted to make a new elf character but i didn’t want to do just one out of the phb, so i made her a moonshadow elf based on The Dragon Prince

19: What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Rhys: my most favorite fact about her would probably be the fact that her shirt actually has no buttons and is only held in place by her corset and magics. Its the dumbest thing, and i love it.

Val: The fact that she is scared of literally nothing, you’d think for someone so excitable she’d have some fear but no. Nothing. The only thing id say she fears is her vision coming true. But in battle she gives no shits, and will not hesitate to throw hands💪🏻

Del: The fact that she left her people behind because she refused to carry on hurting humans for no reason, and takes justice into her own hands, and then kicks her own ass for eternity when she fucks up. Love me that kinda stuff yall

Rhys:

4-In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Honestly the most influential part of Rhys’ backstory is what’s expected of Aasimar in their world. Since they’re expected to be these noble protectors of all that is good, i wanted to completely turn that on it’s heel and have someone who never wanted to be some holy warrior but had to do it anyway because ~thats what they were born to do~ So i stuck her far away from the rest of the world on the borders of the feywilds that was in constant turmoil with the material plane. So she was forced into being a soldier bc she was objectively stronger than everyone else, it’s what she was born to do, which for someone who wants nothing more than to just be able to do what she wants, it really just solidified her disdain for who she is and her lot in life.

12-What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Probably her hair. It is simultaneously my favorite and least favorite thing, and i always forget to draw its majestic flowing in the wind thing so I’m just a mess

Val:

3-How did you choose their name?

Saw the triton names in their section and kind of just cobbled a name together that seemed fitting for them. And… Merine…. marine. Get it cause shes a fish lady?

18-What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

That she gets jealous. Even though she doesnt know thats what she’s feeling bc shes never felt it before. She got very pouty and sad when a certain pirate tried to flirt with other people, it confused her and she didnt like it😂

Del:

9-Are they based off of you, in some way?

I mean not intentionally no, but wanting to do whats right and then horribly fucking up and beating herself up forever is a very Sarah thing to do so maybe a little😂

17-Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Hmmm not really, i love Del sm, i mean somedays i wonder if i shouldve made her a star-touched elf instead, but i love moonshadow Del😭😭(even w the v annoying iS thAT raYla comments)

[fenrirlives]

So after getting some feedback here and from some gacha folks on discord, the overall picture I’m seeing here is that people had a much larger problem with the way Minase wrote a lot of the servants and their interactions than the concept of Agartha in general. I also see alot of people base their dislike on the JP version, which I can’t really comment on because I don’t speak the language and I’m not a fan of basing opinions on possibly biased translations for or against the subject matter

tl;dr, I liked it a good deal! Hated the repetitive dialogue, but the blended fictional worlds, Megalos, and a bunch of other things were really to my liking! I view it as a cool singularity with a sloppy ending and sloppier dialogue. Not as good as Shinjuku, but leagues better than Septem, London, or Orleans on my chart.

also as far as villain servants go, Columbus goes in my “What a douche, I love em!” shelf of fame right next to Mebd and Teach. I mean look at this dude!

Truly Rider is best servant class in all respects! (also his artist is great go follow!)

Addressing the elephant in the room first, I was really confused at the whole misogyny complaints. I saw a few people who found the tyrants to be sexist in concept, while others took more issue with Fergus’ interaction with Scheherazade, or how Fergus as a character was treated overall. 

I don’t imagine there are THAT many people who see the kingdoms as the problem, as they never came off as a commentary on gender to begin with, and context shows that they wouldn’t even work as commentary since all aspects of them are either A) fabricated in regards to the non servants, or B) altered by Scheherazade’s Noble Phantasm in regards to actual servants. If anyone saw them as the writer’s take on gender roles, I think it’s unintended.

People taking umbrage with Fergus and Sche, I can understand a little more, as alot of that is a symptom of the repetitive dialogue that plagues this whole singularity. Fergus’ message near the end is one that I agree with (living in constant fear of death isn’t living at all, and using your trauma as an excuse to generalize or hurt other people is unacceptable), and I was a big fan of how the end of his quest to become a good king is realizing he’s just not meant to be one.

 The thing is, character arcs are carried by their dialogue, and having Fergy either repeat the same crap about training/not hitting women or break the pace of a scene to internally monologue about the philosophy of a kingdom really did no favors. I also wished that his revelation about there being strong women was something someone else told him instead of something he just randomly remembers when the time is convenient, because that makes his whole “younger self” aspect kind of meaningless outside of not letting him be playable. Medea and Medusa lily were far better examples of how one goes about writing these younger servants and their relation to the knowledge of their future selves.

 I think it would’ve worked better to use Adult Fergus instead, and have him show new levels of discomfort both with the situation in Argartha, and with his own behavior when first interacting with Sche (thereby betraying her expectations and reason for summoning him by actually being more thoughtful and reserved than she initially expected) . Maybe have him focus more on male camaraderie with Columbus and the resistance than sleeping with women, as I don’t imagine he’d have much interest in cell dividing zombies with fabricated personalities, even if he doesn’t know that’s what they are yet!

Now, Scheherazade is actually my favorite character from this singularity besides Wu. I love stories that have trauma & behavior developed from trauma (rather than principle built upon trauma) as an antagonistic force. Having to perfect your craft of storytelling to survive for over 2 and a half years while also suffering abuse and captivity is nothing short of awful, and the fact that this attracts the Demon Pillar to her and allows them to work together is really interesting.

 I did dislike the fact that she seemed more affected by her infatuation with Fergus than his encouragement to find strength and pride in her storytelling, and see her nature as a heroic spirit as a boon to it, rather than something to fear. It feels like a big flaw of her character in FGO, which is that DW can’t decide if they want her to be a shivering leaf that hates fighting, or a sly beauty that subverts authority with her tales. Ideally these two aspects should be combined, but it comes across as inconsistent since there’s no solid in-between to give that transition more nuance. 

That being said, I think the folks that label Fergus’ speech as inherently sexist are kinda missing the forest for the trees. No amount of headcanon or fan interpretation changes that he’s a character highly motivated by carnal instinct, and the fact that it’s the lense through which he tries to argue against Scheherazade’s viewpoint is pretty consistent, though the afore mentioned issues with his dialogue makes his sudden shift back to being horny on main jarring and could be fixed by him always being adult Fergus. I can at least appreciate that the story brings up the clumsiness of his words and that even if they get the message across, the flaw in delivery means that Scheherazade will not indulge him on his terms, even if she’s grown just a tiny bit out of her old mindset (plus everyone calls him out so it’s not like his attitude is treated as being “good”, just that it’s not all there is to him). Bottom line I love both those characters, and Agartha left them both in a place where I’d love to see more about them and their relationship explored!

Drake/Dahut was unremarkable (though I was a huge fan of the character design, and I wish DW would make that a skin for Drake). The concept of Ys and her being a creepy rapist/murderer using Drake as her puppet was interesting, but she really didn’t get screen time needed to do anything with that. Wu Zetian on the other hand, I felt was really fun!

I would’ve liked to see her more before the confrontation while we were in the Nightless city, but her speech about working her way up from nothing to becoming a ruler through sheer tenacity, contrasted against the lady that tries SO hard not to let it show that she likes being doted on really clicked with me. All in all, she definitely swiped Gorgon’s spot as the 4 star servant I’m gonna use that ticket on later in the year!

Penthesilea and Megalos had the highlight of the singularity. Nothing was cooler than fighting a bunch of Amazons as those two clashed overhead, and despite almost losing that fight due to a string of Penthesilea’s intrusions hitting my team, I actually wish they did more damage at this point because I wouldn’t even be mad (fyi Colombus actually got killed by Penth during the Megalos fight and I couldn’t stop laughing).

Now if we’re talking about parts of Agartha I absolutely hated, that’s Phenex with a bullet! Besides his bossfight being the most drawn out and irritating thing ever, the fact that both him and the Pillar in Shinjuku don’t fight us in their more humanoid form feels like such a waste. These are supposed to be 4 (5 counting ccc) Pillars that had enough independence gained to run away from Goetia, so the fact that they still look like pillars and never become those human forms when we fight them seems like a real dropped ball here when it comes to visual storytelling and Story/gameplay integration.Also, after how radical Shinjuku’s final fight was, Agartha really didn’t do much to sell Caladbolg finally going off in the middle of the fight (the poison of Wu’s NP was a nice touch at least!)

so yeah, I had quite a few problems here, but I always regard the art and media I consume on a component basis, and for me, the lows here really couldn’t beat out the fact that Agartha was this really cool combination of fabricated settings with tyrannical rulers facing off against a villain masquerading as a revolutionary hero, with a Nightmare monster appearing anywhere at any time, and our heroes seeking to find out which of these figures was the one truly responsible. 

This was always the strength of the Remnants imo, taking looser concepts that normally don’t fly in Nasuverse fiction, and using it to twist the rules of servants through singularities in a way the original seven didn’t outside of Camelot and Babylonia. It wasn’t as great as those two by a long shot, but at the end of the day, It’s left me quite excited for Shimosa, which I’ve been told is the hypest Pseudo Singularity out of the bunch. 

It sucks that this singularity gets such a bad rap when it has so many cool and interesting things in it, but if people dislike something, then there’s nothing for it. As for me, I’d give it a B- on an F to S scale, with Camelot still sitting at the absolute top for me. Anyway, Happy 4th of July tomorrow if you celebrate it, and here’s to EoR 3 and Shirou eventually getting in the game (lmao nope)

[working-on-becoming-a-better-me]

Day 253—Mar. 23, 2021

Okay, so the numbers for my previous consecutive posts were off by a day (like a day ahead) and February 7′s math was way off, but I googled this! so from here on out, we will be accurate! let’s go bois!

BIG UPDATE BOIS! Essentially? I’VE GOTTEN BETTER! Mental health is better, habits are better, outlook on life is better, productivity... isn’t as high as it was when I first started the blog, but it’s doing MUCH better than November and even January.

coping with minecraft:

So, I’m still addicted to the dream smp minecraft fandom. my friend got me a dream hoodie, bucket hat, and a georgenotfound hoodie for my birthday. but! I’m coping better. I’m behind on streams, and am now catching up during Spring Break. For a while, I was pushing back school work to watch and catch up on streams. I promised myself that during free periods I would work since I was catching up on streams at home, and then... yeah. ANYWAY! I’ve gotten a lot better at that recently by noticing that even fanart accounts (accounts dedicated to mcyt-ers) were talking about how they didn’t watch a phasmaphobia stream because they weren’t interested in it, or talking about how they were behind on streams... it really helped me accept the fact that I can be a real fan and not watch every single stream.

cultural convention:

My international school does events with other international schools but because of covid, we can’t travel. I act and made varsity drama (we call it a different name, but yeah!) and we had virtual conferences. I was incredibly friendly and loud and there were tons of zoom calls. Our schools kinda known for being... uh, stuck up? and kinda elitist. Not like I was being fake, but I was making an effort to talk during calls and be active on group chats made. I joke-flirt a lot and focused my attention on one person. A whole thing ensued, but some of the other actors in my school (there were only 11 of us) were joking abut sending me to “horny jail” and one girl kept apologizing for me. During “lounge sessions” I would interject with what I thought were funny comments and she’d say “again, I’d like to apologize for her behavior” and... uh... I cried at school. Cuz I’ve heard way too many times from too many different people about how I’m embarrassing... BUT.

What really helped was the fact that there were late night zoom calls and I was one of only three kids from my school the first night on a call with around 25 people. Other people said I helped give them a really good first impression of our school, especially considering all the things they’d heard previously. The guy I joke-flirted with (I previously dmed him asking if he was okay with it and he said he was) said on a call that I was one of the funniest people he’d met in a while. It was a huge confidence booster in knowing that the efforts I was making were paying off :)

confidence:

Since starting this blog, I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself. I’ve been practicing more positive self speak and have recently realized the difference between the way I speak about and to myself and how some other people do. Being nicer to myself out loud has helped a lot in feeling better and more comfortable.

I wanted to try wearing black masks, but my mom bought the wrong kind. They had patterns and I was really nervous because I didn’t really want to stand out. I used to not care, but... I dunno. Teenagehood and whatnot. We wear uniforms too, so the only differences are in accessories, hair, etc. I’m not sure why, but I was really nervous to wear the new mask patterns to school. But I told myself it was an experiment, to force me to be more confident. I actually forgot I was wearing it until I saw myself. And since I’d posted on my private story saying I was doing this to try and be more comfortable, some of my friends came up to me and told me it was actually cute. Shows that I really had nothing to stress for. Not that it was really self-expression, but for me, and anyone else who needs to hear this, no one cares. Maybe they even wish they had the courage to wear different things as well.

mcyt mantra:

I have a mantra now! adapted from something drunk Wilbur Soot said during Quackity’s livestream, I think. I repeat it when I’m happy and when I’m nervous or scared and I guess... I dunno, I’m like classically conditioning myself? Except not really since I’m doing it out of order. But yeah! get yourself a mantra!!!

character day:

more with confidence! spirit week is just an excuse for kids to not wear their uniforms, but I put a lot of effort into an Ace Ventura outfit I put together. I only saw around two or three other people actually dressed up as characters, but I had so much fun and thought I looked amazing. I was proud that I wasn’t a normie ;]

Also... it’s so humid in this country and the rubber bottoms of my boots actually stuck to the pavement and fell off. I spent the day without the bottoms of my shoes and it was so funny. Even my mom laughed after (she laughed for so long, it was adorable) and she said only I could pull it off and that the friend I walk to school with everyday is lucky to have me as a friend. My mom was telling me about how she never had a friend like me growing up, just so weird and goofy. And it made me happy to think that I can bring so much... zaniness to people’s lives

ao3:

been writing a lot more recently! haven’t been posting on my writing blog since it’s all fanfiction, but it’s helping me write! I update one of my stories every two weeks. When I feel like I’m not doing enough, it’s a nice reminder that I actually can be consistent. I may be getting better... who knows :)

nehs:

been editing lots of papers even though I don’t need to anymore since I made vp of my school’s nehs chapter. but it’s helping me learn too! I’m very instinctual when writing, but obviously when I’m editing I can’t just ask them to change something because “it doesn’t sound right”. So I google explanations and then tell the people who’s papers I’m editing. It helps both them and me!

ipad/drawing:

got a new ipad for my birthday. been messing around with procreate. been doodling in class (only dream team characters so far lol). might be getting better... hopefully I am!

also have a sticky notes app on my ipad and been creating to-do lists! yay!

teaching:

been teaching students in cambodia! last year I had a teaching partner who guided lessons mostly. this year I’m the leading teacher. It’s helping with my fear of leadership and responsibility.

social:

still not the most social, but more active on snapchat now with keeping in contact with some of the cultural convention kids. covids made it harder to keep in contact, and I’ve been trying to reach out more to my closest friend who I’ve not hung out with in a while. not that we don’t see each other at lunch every other day, but I walk to school with, share a class and after school study hall with another friend. so comparably, I’ve spent less time with my closest friend.

recently had a spa day with my small neighborhood gang! my friend painted my other guy friend’s nails! yes! we used face masks as well :)

general update:

- went to the pool the other day and now I’m hecka burnt

- yesterday I wrote letters for honor society points, caught up on math hw, wrote a reflection and plan for a class, reviewed chinese with my mom, met up with my “mentor” for a class

- have been helping a lot of people! am currently a part of two people’s pieces for their theater class and I have a rehearsal later today!

- was doing a lot of work as an officer of thespian honor society—I’m likely going to be on the officer team again next year and, until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t felt like I’d been doing much and was feeling unworthy. but then I was proactive about something and updated our sponser (school’s drama director) on what we as officers decided. felt... prettyyy goooodddd :)

- !!! yesterday I went on a walk and brought money and my student ID, ready to buy bubble tea, but then... I mustered up what little willpower I had and then didn’t buy it. Instead, I bought surprise lilies for my mom (and some groceries she asked me to get)   - been trying to cut out unnecessary sugars and foods. if I’m not hungry, I shouldn’t eat, but also... I listen to my body and if I’m feeling really snacky, I’ll indulge   - recently been craving ice cream, but not the flavors in my fridge so instead I’m just not eating ice cream at all and ate an apple once as a substitute :D

- not sure if I’ve been sleeping more, but it kinda feels like I have been?

- started taking pictures of the world when I think it’s pretty one sunny afternoon when I was laughing lots with a friend... especially right after cul con, I was taking a lot more pictures...

- just been more active (not physically... though occasionally, when bored, I’ll stretch some... but I should try and get more active (I mean... the walk yesterday?))... creatively speaking (ao3, with art), socially online (cul con kids), in person (making plans over spring break!)...

- I just feel like I’ve been putting more effort into life

of course, there are the down bits, like for one project based class where the end product is due in May-ish and it focuses on the “process”... I’m just... not... process-ing. I chose a writing project (why). I’m focusing a lot on my side projects, but not my class writing one :/ as well as that, when assignments pick up, I do too, but when I get down time I feel like I deserve it (which I do!) but I don’t work ahead. I’ve been really busy though. Teaching got cancelled because the school in Cambodia shut down unfortunately due to covid. But before spring break, I was teaching, editing papers, writing my own for lang, doing cul con and then catching up on work I missed because of cul con, studying for tests, attending rehearsals... there’s a lot going on and I need to recognize that I am doing so well, especially compared with a few months prior when I was in a much darker place.

mostly stress has been my plague, but yeah! also in the span of one week, two classes bumped up a grade (or half a grade... we have letters and + system (no -)) so my previously low gpa became slightly less low! It gave me confidence that I can end the semester strong!

procrastination: another plague. I keep delaying setting up college counseling meetings and have delayed this update for a while now... and the project-class...

also have babysitting jobs again so we gon get some monnaayyyyy! (job is not from people we met at the pool, but we did meet people at the pool and their kids liked me so much they asked me mom to get me to babysit them... another boost to confidence! yay :) I’m a likeable person :] )

thanks for sticking around! I’m glad I’m getting this update in because I’m doing... really well :D hope you guys are also doing well or that it gets better!

[amusementindustries]

So I watched more videos last night and I’m not convinced I’m asexual anymore. Though I do believe I am mostly demisexual. And after thinking about it alot I have experienced sexual attraction in the past even as a little girl.  I really would love for there to be more studies about this. Especially the influence of racism.

I had lots of crushes as a kid. There was Natwan who got into a fight with Clifford over me at recess. That was the shining moment of my childhood love life. I really liked Natwan. Then I remember having proto sex fantasies about George Michael when “I want your sex” came out. haha Then in 3rd grade I was OBSESSED with this Romanian boy in my class named Matt.  I’ll always remember him.  I can say the demisexuality was burgeoning as a child. Because I remember I was grossed out by both Natwan and Clifford before but after they fought for me I developed a hard crush on Natwan because he won the fight. 😀 Also, there was the kid named Jovan that I hated cause he smelled like pee and used to follow me around sometimes but then after a while I kinda started to like him because he was just around so much. like the sexual attraction always followed an emotional connection.

As I got older and especially after I moved to Mississippi I got the ugly girl script which began to suppress me sexually.

I stopped talking to boys when I was in 6th grade because they all had collectively decided that I was ugly.  I remember I had a crush on a boy at school and when I talked to him on the phone I described myself differently than what I was because I knew he would think I was ugly. Then my worst nightmare came true when he found out how I looked and told everyone “this ugly girl likes me” and everyone in the whole school made fun of me for what felt like an eternity.

Like I AM SURE this experience was not healthy for my sexual development...

2 people molested me when I was growing up. That’s the first time I’ve ever put that out publicly but yes that did happen. I never carried around a lot of trauma about it. But I AM SURE all this was not the most healthy thing for my sexual development... 

As a teen I knew I was “ugly” so I did not even pursue any relationships to save myself the trauma of rejection but a lot of guys would flirt with me privately. In 10th grade there was this guy in the band with me and I would meet with him in this weird storage room and he would just grope me and do weird stuff to my body and I would just let him and then we would just leave the room and never talk about it and never even talk to each other. It was so weird. Then one day it just stopped, he graduated I guess. I remember thinking he wasn’t that cute but he was a couple grades higher than me and I was horny and curious so I just did it. But it was honestly such a strange experience.  We NEVER kissed.

In 6th grade this girl at my school was visiting the apartment next to mine and she invited me over for a sleepover. She turned on some porn and like started groping me and again I just let her do it. Then she took her clothes off and told me to hump her.  I did for a minute and then stopped. I felt really uncomfortable about it and she called me boring and masterbated and fell asleep.  I guess I was curious but just not that into her. LOL. I remember feeling so weird every time I saw her at school.

But for my whole teen life i had no voluntary healthy mutual sexual experiences.  But I did want them. I just feel like being an “ugly” person put so much fear in me to even try and it made me distrustful of anyone who did pursue interest in me because I thought they were trying to play a trick or just use me for sex but keep me a secret like so many had done in my past.

I don’t want to blame my mom for anything becuase she did her best and was always true to herself and will never fault her for that. But she was maybe too open with me about her sexuality when I was growing up. She talked about sex so much and it always cringed me out. She always had this attitude like I’m a grownup and I’ll do what I want and you’re the child and you don’t get to run me so deal with it. She always had different boyfriends and paraded them around in front of me.  On my 12th birthday my actual 12th birthday party I had friends over for a slumber party and she had sex with her boyfriend in the next room. I was mortified.  

I AM SURE this experience was not the most healthy for my sexual development.

But then what was weird was that suddenly in my 20s I wasn’t the “ugly” one anymore. Like I was still ugly to a lot of people lol oh and Fat. There was always somebody commenting on my body being bigger than usual. But during this time I also just felt more carefree and confident soI temporarily got assigned a different narrative and I felt free to sexually explore again.  But by then I still had so much fear and phobia that it never worked like it should have.  And also people were still racist and even if they would date me or even fuck me they didn’t take me seriously as a long term partner. Like every guy I liked (black, white, or otherwise) ended up with some non-black girl or really light skin black girl. So I just learned to not want people who didn’t want me. And A LOT of people didn’t want me. So i had to also process that into my sexual choices. So it was just always dysfunctional. I was constantly censoring, monitoring, modifying my own sexual impulses. Until eventually they all just went completely internal or just turned off.  

Like I’m sure a psychologist would look at these combined experiences and diagnose me with some sexual PTSD or some shit IDK.  

Like there has to be some separate category of asexuality for people who have been pathologically rejected by society based on their looks. Like would I still feel this way if people had just treated me like a human and not some ugly sex toy? Is it fair to other “asexuals” who did not have negative experiences like this but are still asexual to say that I am asexual because of trauma.  Maybe I’m just traumatized and not asexual.  

Idk. Its all very weird. I’m done thinking about it for now.

[konstantinwrites]

Treasures from the Roof of the Insurmountable, Part 1

Small Worlds XI (Wassily Kandinsky)

Hi friends! So, I ranked all 42 songs of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest. It was as simple as comparing each song to every other and missing every social event for a month. I didn’t give /10 scores and didn’t add a bunch of space between songs to signify gaps in quality, like a cool blog would. However, many generous friends of mine reviewed these songs as well. For an alternative, reasonable point of view, theirs is here.

I understand that asking to listen to 42 three-minute songs on the Internet should be reserved for astonishing lovers, but I hope that you’ll give them a play. The reviews are based primarily on the studio versions, linked in the title, but for fun I more strongly recommend the embedded live performances. This turned into an epic nine-parter only by luck -- Tumblr wisely halts this kind of obsessiveness by setting a limit of five embedded videos per post. 

Anyway, I think you’ll like at least some songs. Not this next one, but some.

42: Spirit of the Night by Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson (San Marino) (Returnee, Eurovision 2012, 2013, 2014)

I will make a conscious effort not to embalm you in Eurovision completely, but I have to bend here since Valentina Monetta breaks all unwritten rules anyway. This was her fourth Eurovision appearance, all for the Most Serene Republic of San Marino, in six years. San Marino houses less people than you saw this weekend, sure, but there are probably a few other musicians in the country that would like a boost to their career.

Maybe some of them were on stage for 2012’s timely “The Social Network Song” (titled “The Facebook Song”, pre-zucc), with which Valentina began her pillage of this contest. (If you have patience for exactly one hyperlink...)

 The lyrics incandesce:

Are you ready for a little chat?/And a song about the Internet It's a story ‘bout a social door/You’ve never seen before;

And the “Social Network” music video, all morning bedsheets and Safari browsing and wild leers into camera, is like the aftertaste of a burp from the dude who ran ARK Music Factory. 

Throughout the last eon, the early to mid 2010′s, peace still ruled. It was underpinned by dark respect for the creature, and fear, but effective and true peace it was. In Year 3, Monetta qualified to the grand final. Appearing in that show was supposed to be the prologue to another Sammarinese age of serenity. Yes, she breathed too hard and accidentally set the Finnish commentators on fire, then threshed her wings and flew out through the arena roof. Human Eurovision performers have gimmicks, too. It was our Monetta, we prayed to her benevolence, and she made other countries and micronational principalities respect us as well.

But we grew tired of living in fear ourselves. If our Monetta was truly done with this world, we would be happy to raise a new generation in peace. Families waited to resettle back to their birth land, planning carefully. At dawn, sometimes, you noted the unsavory magicks in the distance, still discharging in the air. The tribe elders knew that kids were their most important constituency: every evening, a few fun rhymes with the kids that made each of the elders look silly; every forgathering, the children could run off after roll call. Irreverence and joy, with which the children played games on the hills, was as crucial as the considered warnings that the adults were made to hear.

Come spring, at the agora, Elder Dendroch took his deepest breath of the year, all wheeze, as he screwed in the VGA cable to the projector, casting the San Marino 2015 Eurovision artist announcement onto the smooth side of the hill. During the countdown, even All-Naked Christoph went silent. This was to determine his capacity to continue to gyrate himself around the fire each morning without being clawed by Monetta and thrown into the nearest cactus. Her swift retributions of All-Naked Christoph was one of the few Acts that the tribe was grateful for; however, now they yearned for calm and agency. They were ready to pay the price -- and cover their eyes at breakfast.

What a cheer, then. It was, indeed, someone else for 2015. The slothful bards were worth their silver on this day, spooling blunt limericks on the spot, tribesfolk teary with laughter. The eyes of all, awash with joy and soapy bubbles, feasted on daydreams about this new era. Resettling back to town, with everything as it has been (apart from the bread, now a furry green pet), we gleefully watched Anita Simoncini rap -- for we could scream, “No!”. The year after that, Serhat proselytized us, trying to make what sounded like, “I am a dick tit” happen. We loved telling him that it’s not going to happen, and besides, he was the neighboring queen’s chief accountant and she was not letting him out on any more trips like that. Our power was back.

But, well... You saw the rest. You saw 2017. Not even Mostly-Naked Christoph thought that eurodance would rise again. Not even the gloomiest of the kids ever had in mind that Monetta was always in control, and that there is nothing that we can ever do but point our projector at the stars.

“Spirit of the Night” is a dance anthem structured around a conversation between two horny and dim-witted patrons of a San Marino club. “Hey, are you the one I dream about?/Baby, I am.” After successfully capturing his target’s interest with this awful line, the man proceeds to use amateur pick-up artistry to delve into the murky depths of her insecurity. “Every time I see you smile/There is sadness in your eyes.” 

Luckily for him, his quarry eats this obvious nonsense up. After connecting through dance, he seals the deal by revealing that he’s a hurt, insecure man who is in need of a woman to protect him. “Hey, are you the one to take my pain?/Just take my hand/I’ve been so hurt before, it’s hard to trust again.” Nonstop key changes and a reference to obscure weather phenomena attempt to mask the utter vacuity of “Spirit of the Night,” but nobody is fooled. 1/10.

Richard Hansen

41: Keep The Faith by Tamara Gachechiladze (Georgia)

Ten seconds in, this has all the potential in our supercluster. It becomes “Keep The Faith”, but that moody horn-driven bar can lead into a Jay-Z track, a Antony and the Johnsons symphony, or the title screen of “Swordfish”. But it becomes “Keep The Faith”, and it’s a little awkward; I live and work in Georgia, and super enjoy this country. 

However, this song is derivative garbage, devoid of any sensory pleasure. It has many siblings, songs of this type, all grey, parts-per-million pollutant specks. It’s a pure ballad and a very specific type of ballad, none of which have ever been enjoyable: pie-eyed on piano, throaty-vocaled, vowel-elongating, forcefully important, crudely pitch-raising, artless fat zeppelins of songs, avoiding melodiousness by purpose and not even by chance. 

I like the few seconds in the bridge where Tamara and the backup singers go, “Oh - ohhh - oh! - ohhh!”, and I like the final string cadences, the last two notes in the song. I wish they’d signaled the end to something not so comprehensively dopey.

Please also let me just add here that I adore “Mzeo” by Mari Mamadashvili, the Georgian winner of Junior Eurovision 2016. 

I’ve cried listening to it. I’ve showed her performance to many people. Don’t revoke my residence permit. Look at how much good stuff Billy wrote.

Having heard a plethora of Georgian music over the past year, I really didn’t have my hopes up going into this one. But I have to hand it to Tamriko, she may have actually pulled it off. The song’s video isn’t much to talk about, and I found the opening lyrics about hiding behind a veil and then panning to a woman in a hijab to be slightly off color, but the tune and subsequent lyrics are actually pretty cool. One might say the video had my sentiments shaken, but not stirred. That’s right, I referenced James Bond (Jamesi Bondi) and how could I not? The ominous violin, three-key piano repetition and horns - the song practically screams, “put us in the next movie!” and I happen to agree.

If we got rid of the whole weird hip-but-frowning aspect and replaced it with an unmistakable gun-toting secret agent silhouette, complete with tastefully nude female figurines, Georgia might actually have a hit on their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big believer in letting music speak for itself and in many ways this song does, but at the end of the day it’s also a pop song and that music video HAS to be tight. Get this out to Eon Productions, Georgia; I’ll be disappointed if Ed Sheeran gets to do another title sequence.

As far as vocals go, Tamro fits the role pretty nicely - she can really belt it and it adds to the overall grandness of the song. As a matter of fact, grand is probably the word I would use to describe this. It’s the kind of song that makes you clench your fists and pump your arms dramatically and ceremoniously. Tamo’s powerful vocals and lyrics are engaging and entertaining; my only real worry is that with such a Bond-sounding song, people might have a difficult time seeing it as its own thing. Not to mention, if people dislike James Bond, they’re probably just going to see this as some hack interpretation of an Adele hit. While some might view it as lacking in theme originality, I see it as a distinguished work operating in a certain genre (a difficult one at that). I don’t think the sky will be falling on this song any time soon! Qochagh, Sakartvelo! 8/10.

Billy Moran

40: Gravity by Hovig (Cyprus)

The lifetime of this adult contemporary rockvomit is: released to the suffering masses, all 4th grade boys for three days repeat-blast “Gravity” on the family speakers, then torrent Battlefield and yelp and chaotically shake their faces to its menu music and forget about “Gravity” forever. No other integration of this song into a human life can be permitted.

This wailing, free trial-distortion-effects, tragically detached one-dimensional nonsense would take aback a NHL video highlights editor, and they’re immune to this stuff. “Gravity” is for a montage of, like, a corrupted toothpaste factory, where the toothpaste is evil. There is something a little demonic with the toothpaste. It’s been breached. There are lich in the toothpaste, hiding themselves and their sorcery, and they now terrorize users of toothpaste all over the world. Only those who still use tooth powder have not yet turned. With this paragraph, I have now released more beauty into this world than the Cypriot entry. I’m not proud of putting lich and toothpaste together. I know I’ll answer for this one day. Sometimes you have to drive a point home.

This is a solidly made pop ballad with a catchy chorus that I could see getting good radio play for about two weeks before being promptly forgotten. While somewhat catchy on first listen, it quickly loses its appeal and you realize there is nothing more there than another over-produced pop song that makes oatmeal look plain and generic. This song is the definition of standard, meaningless pop. It's begging for some sort of edge to it, some sprinkles to go with its vanilla. As is, I'd much rather listen to “Hook” by Blues Travelers.

Ryan Haskell

39: Dying to Try by Brendan Murray (Ireland)

I like Brendan’s voice. For 54 seconds, he makes a serviceable dyingtotry. I like that the first line of this Segway-speed ballad gets close to saying, “Take a leak of faith with me”. I like his tuneful delivery through the lightly layered first minute, and you could stroll to this and take sips of still water and feel correct.

Then the songwriters take out their game hunting rifles, trundle us into the basement and serve us a soup of impotent key change, never-ending chorus and string accompaniment, all of which we would spoon out of the dish in a less savage situation. You eat — you have to — belch, relax a bit, and then notice Brendan at the table, his meal long finished, as he mouths to you, “trying to die”.

As an American who grew up American, with American parents and American grandparents, I myself am American. That said, I definitely identify with the Irish a bit - they’re my ancestral roots and I root for the guys for sure. But I have to say, Brendan Murray, bud, you let me down. The song can be summed up in one word: boring. The kid looks to be about 15 and, sure, he has some pipes (little Irish pun there), but I have to believe these impressively high notes he’s hitting have more to do with his lack of pubic advancement and less with actual talent.

The music video takes us on the journey of love’s rocky road, complete with a daughter of Elrond and a poodle man that would make Dr. Moreau jealous. Perhaps I would have paid more attention to the lyrics if the featured couple were less visually jarring. I mean, the woman was fine… But the poodle man! That hair! There’s a million elf-y looking guys in Ireland to complement the girl, and they choose that guy!

My biggest complaint comes at the peak of the song’s rising action. Brian is walking through the grassy knolls of Ireland, as one does, and the viewer is treated to a beautiful melancholy landscape that just screams of Ireland. But instead of giving the listener something to complement the breathtaking view, we get a gospel choir harmony as Brian dives into his chorus. It was the perfect moment to incorporate cultural music - so poorly utilized by Israel - and Ireland missed it! If a lovely flute had accompanied Brian as the camera raced across the Irish shoreline back to our visually perplexing couple, I think I would have poured a shot of Jameson on the spot and shed a tear for all the struggling lovers in the emerald isle. Instead, the song loses its identity and all my invested interest is gone with it.

Brian, the wise fifteen-year-old he is, ever wary of love’s slings and arrows, tells us, “No one can promise that love will ever learn how to fly”, but I can promise Brian that his song won’t be flying to the top of any billboard charts. Maybe something a little more fun next year, huh Ireland? Sláinte! 4/10.

Billy Moran

38: My Turn by Martina Bárta (Czech Republic)

The indifferently mute student can be the most frustrating. Staring at the arithmetic poster for two minutes at a time, boring with their pen more and more millimeters of their desk hole, finding the right moments to sip a hidden can of Fanta with the vigilance of a mosquito pursuing a meal from a human absentmindedly playing the Chrome dinosaur game -- apathetic students cause little obvious trouble in class. However, asked to contribute to any task, their monastic silence and translucency can drop a teacher’s command of the classroom to the floor. Other students, especially ones wavering between “kind of paying attention” and the Frowning Face With Open Mouth emoji, sense the student’s apathy, think that the lessons are, indeed, for nothing, and mentally teleport themselves out of there as well.

Which brings me to “My Turn”. It would be out of date during Pangaea, but out of date is very often fine. The prime disappointment is that it has a harmonious, sentimental melody to throw around, as most ballads do, but concretely refuses to get out of the hotel elevator, or the Saturday morning wine tasting. There are many piano works like these; it shouldn’t be an excuse to bunt and be another, especially because it’s got a pleasant tune. I’ve listened to “My Turn” at least 30 times and can recall the main progression with roughly the same clarity as remembering why Fletcher Christian mutinied and vamoosed to Pitcairn Island, the Wikipedia summary of which I probably read once, or maybe someone told me. Before going home, Teacher Eurovision will leave an inspirational message for Martina on her desk. “You can be different!” The next morning it’ll only be used with a shout of, “Kobe!” and be another clump a few feet from the trash basket.

Czech Republic’s Eurovision results, 2007 (debut) to 2017:  28th in a 28-song semifinal; 18th in a 19-song semifinal; 18th in a 18-song semifinal; Not participating for five years (understandably); 13th in a 17-song semifinal; 9th in a 18-song semifinal, 25th in a 26-song final; 13th in a 18-song semifinal.

Czech selection committee: just put a donk on it. You’ll like the results.

Not only did Ms. Martina choose to submit a song written in English to the Annual Eurovision Ritual, helping the beast of globalization devour her culture and language, but she also submitted a song with lyrics so boring that they flee from my mind immediately after I’ve heard them, as if Gilderoy Lockhart himself has just charmed them directly out of my cerebellum. Lyrics: 2/10.

Luckily, the music video itself is far more interesting than the song itself. I’m at least 80% sure this video depicts what people experience while rolling on Ecstasy. Nude bodies of various age and shape, writhing in ways that are at once harmonious and cacophonous. Here an old white man finds peace in a warm-towel embrace of a large black man. There a bald man hangs his head in his ultimate shame only to be comforted by an equally bald woman. At one point the bacchanalian dancers just all freeze and turn their heads sharply to one side, staring at the audience with eyes that contain something between abject misery and ultimate pleasure. Disturbing! Music video: 7/10. I found this video hilarious. Personal enjoyment: 9/10.

Cody Phillips