#also sorry ... me and my shitty backgrounds

[junemo10]

Merlin: man, I miss when the dinosaurs were alive

Arthur: excuse me?

Merlin: ya know, wouldn’t it be so great if they were alive again?

Arthur: no? wouldn’t they be crushing us every day?

Merlin: maybe. but you know what crushes us a lot worse every day currently?

Arthur:

Merlin: capitalism

Arthur, throwing his hands up: oh for the love of- alright, here we go

[lord-squiggletits]

Ahhhhh I really didn't imagine it, I still dislike Barber's way of writing Orion/Optimus just as much as I did on the first reading and all it took was rereading a few screencaps from one specific scene.

Literally I don't know which part annoys me more: Jetfire existing in the background solely to go "ORION PAX FUCKING SUCKS AND IS A HYPOCRITE", Orion being written like an edgy asshole who hates everyone, or Soundwave talking like an unhinged terrorist and the narrative expecting me to see Orion as the hypocrite for using violence to arrest terrorists.

Soundwave is seriously like "You have no proof we assassinated the Senate, but if we did assassinate the Senate it would've been justified, but also totally trust us bro, just because we could've hypothetically murdered the entire reigning government doesn't mean that we're violent bro come on just bc we assassinated-- I mean could have hypothetically had the means and cause to kill like a hundred people doesn't mean we were gonna kill anyone else, come on bro why are you calling us violent just bc we think some murder is okay" while Jetfire is in the background like "WOW ORION I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE WILLING TO BE VIOLENT IN RESPONSE TO OTHER PEOPLE BEING VIOLENT. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN SIDE'S FLAWS EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LITERALLY DOING AN INVESTIGATION TO DECIDE WHETHER ONE OF YOUR COPS COMMITTED AN UNJUSTIFIED KILLING OR NOT. YOU HAVE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING TO TRY AND FIGHT THE CORRUPTION IN SOCIETY." (Jetfire had no way of knowing about OP and crew fighting the Senate's schemes in Shadowplay and Elegant Chaos, but as a reader it's very frustrating seeing Orion getting lambasted as never having done anything to fight society's corruption when he literally did, and by the time he was even working for Zeta Megatron was already evil and had the whole Senate assassinated.)

Like ughhhh oh my god I could have maybe enjoyed this story under a better writer but as it's written it's some "yet you participate in society, curious" levels of political commentary where at least one character seemingly only exists in the scene to shit on OP (something that happens a lot in Barber's works, like with Pyra Magna and Slide) and where OP is framed as a hypocritical asshole for a reaction that's very understandable given the context.

And also it's weird because Barber wants so badly for you to read Orion as some sort of hypocrite for being against terrorist activities but being willing to employ violence himself to arrest terrorists, yet... it turns out the big twist of the story is that the Decepticons WERE smuggling weapons and Soundwave DID lie to Orion (even if it was unintentionally), thus vindicating Orion's entire distrustful attitude? Like, it seems as if it was supposed to be an ACAB story showing how evil the police are for killing people and how Orion (as a cop) is evil for being a cop that uses violence on behalf of the state. Except uh. Then Barber wrote a plot where the Decepticons literally were smuggling weapons all along (and this is alongside lore from Megatron: Origin where we as the readers know for a fact the Decepticons/Starscream killed the Senate) so.... Like, it just seems to me that if Barber wanted to write an ACAB story about how the state monopoly on violence is bad, he probably shouldn't have written the Decepticons as actually being terrorists who literally did lie about smuggling weapons?

I feel like a better way to write an ACAB/anti-state-monopoly-on-violence would've been to like, explore the way that states take advantage of catastrophe/using scapegoat political movements to gather more power to themselves and justify removing citizens' rights with "it's an emergency, we're taking away your freedoms to protect everyone." Like, maybe Zeta passes some law saying that officers can search citizens without a warrant, which he justifies with the fact that Decepticon terrorism is so rampant that officers need immediate permission to conduct raids/searches. Except this is obviously a problem because people have a right to privacy, and probably the cops are super overzealous and end up arresting innocent people without cause (like idk, maybe just being friends with someone who is sympathetic to the Decepticons gets someone landed in jail? Maybe Jetfire gets arrested bc he's critical of the state and has hung out with Decepticon sympathizers before). So then Orion has an actual "are we the baddies?" moment where he wants to stop the bad people, but he realizes that his side are infringing on people's citizens and justifying police brutality for the sake of a nebulous "greater good," and that even though he and his cops were given greater power to supposedly "protect citizens," in practice they're actually doing great harm to citizens by invading their privacy, creating a surveillance state, and imprisoning people without just cause? Basically "we were given this power to stop terrorists from hurting civilians, but now we're hurting civilians too so are we actually doing any good?" Because that way Orion and his cops would ACTUALLY be in the wrong and their state monopoly on violence would be an actually widespread institutional thing where they're clearly being allowed to do bad things just because they're cops. Not just Orion investigating one singular police killing.

But with the story written as "Orion suspected the Decepticons of murdering the Senate (he's correct about this) but still investigated one of his officers to see if he committed a wrongful murder (literally him paying attention to his own side's wrongdoings, Jetfire), and it turns out the Decepticons WERE smuggling weapons and doing terrorism (Orion was correct about this)" it's just.......... like, Orion may not be morally correct, but his hunches/investigations about the suspected criminal activity were literally correct. AND HE WAS WILLING TO DO THIS INVESTIGATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. But for some reason he's still framed as if he's an asshole for this? Even though this is a point in the pre-war lore where Megatron won't back down from violence and has lost his way from his original pure intentions, so it's not like Orion can just go "let's put down our weapons and be friends and mutually trust each other to not stab each other in the back."

It just feels as if Barber's intentions to write an ACAB story where Orion is framed as being too judgmental and quick to be violent don't line up with the actual events of the story. The story is desperately trying to call Orion a hypocrite, but he really just seems as if he's reacting understandably to the events that are happening around him, so there's a real dissonance here where I don't understand why the ACAB story had the cops be right about the Decepticons committing terrorism, and I'm also supposed to see Orion as an asshole for correctly not trusting the Decepticons???

[nemesyaaa]

soft heart shaped // brother's ennemy!rafe x innocent!reader

summary ; there was a fair reason of why your brother always keeping you away from the kook boys, even his own friends. there was also a fair a reason of why he wouldn't let you around his ennemy.

warnings ; +18 content. reader is kind of innocent but it doesn't involve rafe having a kink/or attraction about it. mean!rafe. intox kink/drugging. protective!brother. daddy issues. smut. oral(f&m r.). dumbification. daddy kink. light of violence. little age gap. mentions of stalking. soft!crybaby. p in v. dubcon. lil background. again, be aware of the warnings.

author's note ; as much as i love the brother's bsf trope, the brother's ennemy concept ran into my mind. i also wanted to add ; reader and her brother are kooks. it's not about pogues matters. i'm sorry if it's kinda shitty.

your brother always made sure you were safe and you had everything you needed. it was understandable knowing that none of your parents had been home for so long. he made sure that you always had what you wanted, and that you didn't have to lift a finger, or sweat a single drop to get it. all you had to do was ask for it to be wrapped in a gift at your bed. you were the youngest, the little princess who had to be spoiled and pampered, the one to whom we granted every whim, the one to whom we said amen without necessarily being a believer, the one we looked at hoping that she would always remain as beautiful and innocent, but also the one we always admired from afar because she wasn't allowed to be with boys alone.

your brother was one of those siblings who could have been the child prodigy if your parents were still around. he always had good grades at school, always praised by his teachers, and he knew how to play a musical instrument. It seemed that when you heard him playing the piano, you stopped crying. you had heard him play so many times, sitting on his lap, his hands sliding across the keyboard as he gently pushed your fingers on the piano keys, hoping that a few notes would calm you down.

he was protective. he had always lost interest in other girls just to only care about you. he was protective because he didn't want you to suffer, and because he knew the kook boys. even though he hated pogues, he knew you'd be safer with one of them than one of those rich boys with so many privileges.

one of them was particularly his enemy. rafe cameron. the one and only son of ward cameron. the businessman who controlled the island but was also one of your father's former best friends. you had seen him so many times in your house with all his children and his trophy wife.

rafe had always been a little weird around you. he always said he was there for your brother but it was always you he looked at. he always found an excuse to be with you. sometimes you wonder if it wasn't a question of ego.

you knew he and your brother didn't get along. they were always arguing and fighting. “I forbid you from hanging out with him.” your brother had warned you once, after coming back with an ugly black eye on the face. “is that him? " you asked shyly, swallowing hard. his gaze was fierce. “exactly. that’s why you have to listen to me. ”

did that necessarily make Rafe Cameron a dangerous person? You wondered because your brother could also be very violent. never towards you. but towards others.

could rafe cameron attack princesses like you, didn't you deserve better treatment? you were always so confused.

but one day, you knew that your brother had shot Rafe at a party. and after that he was gone, nothing more. you were alone at home. there was no one left.

He didn't respond to your messages or your calls. if he was no longer there, there were no more rules, no more prohibitions, right? you were totally free. you could wear the clothes you wanted, talk to whoever you wanted, come home at the time you wanted, go wherever you wanted. you no longer needed permission or approval. you no longer had any chains.

so you went to this kook party that everyone was talking about and that Sarah absolutely wanted you to come. she said you needed that, rather than staying alone in your castle.

When you arrived there, your heart was racing. Sure, your brother wasn't there to judge you, or tell you to go home, but you had the impression of feeling his warning dark stare through all these people looking at you.

you wanted to turn around, to run away. you heard people talking, music blaring from the speakers, all these drunken bodies pressed together which made you even more transparent. It wasn’t long before you started smelling like alcohol, drugs, and sex, the scent exploding in every corner.

while you were still thinking about leaving, you moved away but your back hitted someone's chest. a hand was placed on your shoulder to hold you close then a slightly mocking chuckle was heard in your ear.

“Careful, baby. "

you turned to confront the person. “rafe. " you announced without surprise.

"Such a face. I might think you're disappointed."

“I was looking for Sarah.”

“It’s a shame. She’s not here.”

“I’m leaving then.”

"I'm afraid you're not going anywhere." he mocked gently.

you looked at him strangely. he was there in front of you, with a drink in his hand, and his body was blocking your way.

“It’s not a game.”

“oh princess, it’s not because you don’t play that no one plays. and you see… when I look at you in this ridiculous tight outfit and especially alone, I really want to play.”

“you’re sick.” you replied.

"yes." he simply replied "but baby, everyone knows it, it's not a secret. on the other hand..." he leaned over to whisper something in your ear. “i would like to know how much you are too willing yourself to come to my party without your brother to protect you.”

“I don’t need him.” you defended yourself, stepping back so as not to be seen so close to him. “I’m a big girl.”

"yea, such a big girl. look at you, you managed to dress yourself." he teased you with a laugh. “ i'm joking, i admit you're pretty. why that face, baby ? i thought that little dress of yours wanted some rafe validation. ”

“you’re really not funny.”

"I think above all that you should relax. and I can help you with that..." he suggested softly. but all his sympathy was so fake. “have a drink.”

you laughed sarcastically and his smile widened. he had followed you into the crowd, acting like a bodyguard so you wouldn’t get lost among the people. he placed an arm around your waist, the size of his hands groping at your hips, pretending to be a gentleman when this kindness was purely ridiculous.

“don’t touch me. ” you snapped.

“too late. i just did.” he replied. “If you didn’t want me around, you shouldn’t have come here. you don’t make the rules in my house. ”

“It’s called harassment.”

“oh isn't-it a big word for little girls like you? is that what your bro told you to say if i touch you? ”

it was so annoying to see him openly making fun of you. to believe that you had not grown or evolved for him.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked kindly.

“you think you’re going to drug me without my knowledge?” you laughed. " Nice try but forget about it."

he took a sip of his drink and responded with an emotionless voice. “you’re wrong.”

"what? you would never have drugged me? stop lying."

"no I mean. I wouldn't have done it without your knowledge." and he left with a smirk.

you grimaced before taking a drink at the bar. you had inspected the inside before drinking it because you didn't trust anyone here. and Sarah wasn't there which was weird since her boyfriend, Topper was there.

you had managed to relax after several drinks, and you wanted to take a seat on the huge sofa in the salon but it was full. so you found a space upstairs in one of the empty rooms.

you had barely sat down on the bed when the door was already opening to reveal someone. rafe cameron. again.

“are you stalking me?”

"I'm not sure you'd like the answer, baby. but I'll let you guess. after all, you're a big girl."

"Can you stop doing that? Do you think I'm scared because my brother isn't here anymore?"

"you see, I didn't really like the fact that he shot me. Do you know how much it hurts to be shot? No, I'm sure you don't. Little princesses like you have no awareness of the real world, right? ” he knelt between your legs, keeping them apart with a hand, and lightly pinching your forehead to get into your brain. “ If we don't tell them anything, they know nothing. ”

"I'm not stupid. I know it hurts but I didn't do anything to you. I'm not my brother."

“yes, you’re pretty.” he admitted, caressing the inside of your thighs, massaging them slowly to get your attention. "so pretty that you always got what you want when you want, right? but it's not really fair to me. I've never had that privilege. but you... you're an angel , a blessing, will you grant it to me?”

using your kindness against you, no one had ever done that to you. you were always so nice to people. you were incapable of saying no, of resisting, of being mean. This was far from your behavior.

“What do you want?”

" This. ” he had lifted the bottom of your dress gently, before revealing your panties, and revealing your pussy.

“Are you looking for revenge?”

“I would never do such a thing. I have always liked you. You're sweet…” he placed one of his fingers against your pussy, sliding it against your slick without pushing them inside your walls, just enough to leave them sticky with your wetness. he also caressed your swollen clit, addressing little circles to make it throb under his touch. you gasped loudly, his thumb playfully toying around your bullied nub. you didn't know what he was looking for but when he started to touch you more insistently, you wanted to close your legs but he blocked them with a hand to force you to let them spread. “ stay still, i'm not done. ”

he wanted to get a wide view of your pussy clamping against his fingers, to see how obedient and a good girl you could be when it came to sex.

“so sweet…” he said as he fingered your glistening cunt, forcing the stretch of your hole with strengthful strokes.

you were so tight he could feel each of his fingers moving inside you as you were grinding your hips to them. but more importantly your walls were clenching around them. the sound was obscene and viscous, as you welcomed every vibration inside your body. you were hot and your mouth was filled with breathy moans. his pace was fast and gentle as if he didn't want to hurt you. “ here it is…that's a big girl right now…”

all his three fingers were buried inside you. their thickness brushing every corner of your walls. he lighty sped up, leaving you to gasp louder while his digits ruined you. “ look at you, sweet angel turning into a little whore. is that what dad and big bro left the home, because they can't handle you anymore ? ” he rushed a deep stroke as he spoke, causing your back to arche widely and sobbing more.

you turned your head, trying to get his raspy voice and mean words out of your mind but you were a little dizzy. he was annoying with all this teasing and you can't barely stand it. but with his fingers buried in your sore insides, he had the control of your whole body. he got your pussy so easily on his side,stuffing your slutty core, and fucking you all way from to the hitting spot that was made you scream harder. he was driving his fingertips so hard that hot rush of tears was flowded over your cheeks. he didn't shut you up even if you were still at the party, because he wanted to hear you, from the little cries and sniffles, to the breathy voice and spitting babbles over your mouth. his fingers were so quick and you wanted to try to make him slow down by placing a hand on his, but that only motivated him to go faster. you had no choice but to squirm, while his gaze bore into your face.

you flushed, as he was working his fingers further in your cunt. he was hard for you to the point he started to feel the pain of boner in his pants. the music outside the room was nothing against the sloppy wet sounds of your pussy over his digits. the way he was pressuring your clit while making evil and forceful back and forth in your hole was enough to make you lose your mind.

you thought he was going to leave after making you cum, that he had gotten what he wanted but you were wrong.

he had searched for something in the drawer. a bottle of lube. and you thought that was it.

when he was back at you, his cock was wet and glowy with some substance. “i'm gonna make you very pretty, baby.” he said, before tearing your lips in two with his tip, forcing you to open your mouth wider and take him.

he pushed his cock into you without warning, leaving you no choice to do your job. you wrapped your hand around the end of his shaft, while your mouth sank around his member. you had started to suck him, your lips forming a tight but deep well around his cock. everything was wet with your own saliva. you could feel his stomach twitch every time you pumped his hard cock until it bulged inside you.

he had grabbed your hair with one hand, accompanying your head in your movements, leaving your mouth shaping in an o. you thought everything was fine, but you had started to feel a little dizzy, and also to feel your body getting a little weaker. rafe was turned on. and with the strange feeling that currently warmed your body, you couldn't maintain the pace anymore so he took care of it, driving your little lips to his dick. you were sucking as he was feeding you all his length inside your mouth, shoving it enough to make you gag and hurts your throat. a smirk appeared on his face when you became extremely needy, literally lapping at the leaking tip of his dick like a pup with wide round open eyes. “ yea, try to catch daddy's dick..come on you can do it... don't you want to own it ? ” he was giving you fat and strong slaps with his dick on the side of your cheeks, as you were trying to run your tongue against it.

he took back the stream of saliva in your lolling tongue before fucking your mouth at an insane pace. he doesn't care that you couldn't breathe and that your eyes were teary, he just wanted you to be sucking at his dick.

you giggled when he pushed your body back onto the mattress, while you couldn't really stand on your feet. he was on top of you, standing with all his big frame that was making you ridiculously smaller than him. he had spit into his fist before stroking himself, making sure all his shaft was wet and nice. “see? I told you I could make you feel better. "

and he pushed his dick you with such a sharp thrust that you whined. since your hole was still a little tight, he had forced your walls slightly. you panted, choking on each of his other strokes. you were euphoric and your unsteady body fucked hard against the mattress. “Come on, baby. nothing fun anymore? i thought you wanted to laugh. ” he mocked your tears with another rough push, sending you waves of pleasure and shivers.

he was fucking your pussy like a beast, bruising your cervix with such a primal need. you were now such a mess, babbling and crying because of him, because of the way his dick was bullying your insides. it felt so good but you could feel some pain.

as he used your cunt, taking all the space of your entire hole, rafe was delighted. no, he wasn't going to cry or regret because you decided to be a crybaby. he was going to continue fucking you until you were completely senseless and his cock fully empty.

he always hated your brother. it was like that. it was ward's fault who told him he was the son he never had. rafe couldn't help but be jealous of this relationship that his enemy and his father had. he felt erased. and you, the perfect little princess who was never blamed for anything, who was always in her own corner, he couldn't hate you, even less blame you. but he could still use you.

you were the perfect victim. you were so clean and innocent. and your brother loved you so much that rafe felt obligated to hurt you.

you were like a doll, a stupid doll with no brain that he could control so easily. you were helpless, each thrusts slamming so hards. he was forcing your head to stay, holding it into his palm. “I know, baby. i know how you feel, but it's gonna get worse if you don't let it go. "

you weren’t really sure what he was talking about, you didn’t really understand what he was saying. you were in another dimension. you could see but it was slightly blurry. his tall figure was moving above you, words were being said but you were just there, a trembling smile over your lips, a tipsy look, and crying completely out of sync with the situation.

only rafe knew the truth. you didn't feel like that because of the alcohol but the drugs that had been added with the lub. the drug quickly took effect. your body had been in possession of the substance in a few minutes but above all under its submission.

“you're so pretty. should i send a photo to your brother? "

you didn't even wince at the brother. you just laughed like it was the funniest joke you had ever heard. “Let’s play a game. you wanna play games? "

you nodded. one of the rare gestures that you managed to do fully. rafe had smiled before caressing your face. “ can you feel the inches inside you? "

you nodded with a little giggle. “if you guess the exact number, daddy's will give you all the orgasms you want and need like the princess you're. if it's wrong, you let daddy use you for the rest of the night.”

it was evil. he knew you wouldn't have the answer because you couldn't think.

“Come on, baby. don't let daddy's win the game. ” he said so softly in your ears, but his voice sounded so fake.

you tried. one time. three times. until your chances were exhausted.

“'s too bad. doesn't matter, i bet you wouldn't guess earlier all the fingers i've got in you. "

you pouted, and he just fucked you harder, rushing the pace into you to an insane one. this time, your whimpers were muffled beneath his large palm.

“ it's okay, baby. you don't need a brain when you've got such a perfect tight pussy. “

he was big. you could feel it. there was a rough strength in his thrusts. your body was pleading against his heavy one. you hated to feel like such a crybaby around him but you couldn't help.

all those tears on your cheek were real, even the saliva coating your lips, and the sniffles wetting your nose. you couldn't fight against his control.

since there is no one around you, you were craving for some attention. and rafe was giving you the one who needed, only by a simple sentence. he started the conversation with you, he was looking at you while you speak and he's listening like he cares when you know he don't. he was touching you and standing close to you like you really exist.

you shouldn't be with him. your brother warned you a lot. rafe cameron was the type of guy who doesn't fit girls like you as he said. he also said that Rafe doesnt love and only damage. he was toxic for you.

but wasn't it also toxic to listen to your brother all your life ? you were not a little girl anymore.

Rafe had filled your pussy with his cum, invading the tight canal of your pussy to the point it was coating your slit. he slipped out his dick before milking it and spreading every leaking drop over your body until there was nothing left.

he made you clean all his fat length with your mouth, feeling the pleasure holding him when you start to lick all of his cock. your tongue was already wet, but now sticky with drool and cum. you pushed your needy muscle to lap at the reddish dick, watching the face of your brother's enemy with little eyes as you were cleaning the mess.

“I bet your brother now has a real reason to hate me. " he said with a playful tone.

“ Rafe...”

“you can stay here. it's not like you can go anywhere with the substance inside you… but don't worry, i will be back. ”

[seokmn]

︵⠀PATERNIDADE ⠀◌Ⳋ ✧ ── even you feel overwhelmed by having to deal with motherhood, your husband will always be by your side and help you to deal with it.

pairing: seokmin x f!reader wc: 1.4k words warnings: none

ᯓ★ “care for you, you care for me”

The noise had finally quieted down, the house now filled with the hum from the fridge and the background noise coming from the TV.

With your fingers still rubbing the small figure gently, you let out a deep sigh in relief and finally let the exhaustion take over your body, your eyelids shutting down slowly as you smiled a little bit at the thought of finally having a moment of rest.

But it was too good to be true, and once you heard a thud followed by a loud cry not too long after you had decided to take a nap, you knew your plans of taking a break from your nonstop responsibility failed.

“I’m so sorry, love,” Seokmin’s face had an apologetic expression on it and his voice was calm and soft, a huge contrast from the loud and desperate cry coming from the little one in your arms. “My hands are slippery because of the hand lotion and that made my phone and keys fall. This freaking eczema… I’m so so sorry.”

Seokmin kissed the top of your head and you just nodded as you kept rocking the baby, trying to make it calm down and get back to sleep.

“Was he asleep?” Seokmin planted a kiss on the baby’s forehead and sat beside you on the couch.

“Mhm,” you took a deep breath and tried to smile, but you were too tired for that. “He’s been crying like this for hours and nothing seems to make him stop, and when he finally calmed down you came home and dropped your damn–“ you stopped. You didn’t even need to look at Seokmin to know that he had a guilty and devastated look on his face, and you hated that. Your intention was never to blame him for the baby starting to cry again, but you were overwhelmed as hell. “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault. Accidents happen… I’m just so tired, I just want to get some rest, to finally fall asleep and not worry about waking up in the middle of the night or something like that.”

“Love…” Seokmin’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“I’m fine,” you lied, more to yourself than to your husband. “Okay, I’m not fine. I just want him to stop crying and to fucking sleep!”

Seokmin’s eyes widened when he heard you cursing – something you two agreed to not do in front of the baby, changing ‘fucking’ for ‘freaking’ or similar words – and saw you breaking down, crying along with the restless baby boy in your arms. His expression softened, realizing that you were so overwhelmed and tired to the point of breaking the agreement you brought up yourself. The sight of you like that made him feel like a shitty husband, but also gave him motivation to be your rock.

“I got you..” He kissed your cheek before taking the baby in his arms.

Seokmin held the baby with its small head on his right shoulder and started to sing the song he always sang to the baby when it was still in your womb. His voice was soft and calm, but powerful and filled the whole living room, bringing a feeling of comfort and a sense of home. His singing somehow became the baby’s white noise, never failing to make it calm down and get quiet, most of the time even falling asleep.

With a hand on your son’s back and another on the side of your head, he brought your head to his left shoulder and caressed your head while still singing and paying attention to how the baby’s crying started to subside, but not your crying.

Once the baby had fallen asleep in Seokmin’s arm, he finally turned his full attention towards you. His thumb wiped away your tears and rubbed your cheekbone.

“I haven’t been the best husband and father, have I? I’m sorry, my love, you don’t deserve this. I hate to see you like this”

“Don’t say that, you are the best husband and father someone could ask for. Don’t you ever think about yourself like that,” you sniffed and looked up at him. “I’m so lucky to have you, Seokmin. I really don’t know what I would do without you. Today was just a bad day, that’s all.” Even though your voice was shaky and it sounded like you weren’t 100% serious, you meant every single word.

Ever since you met Seokmin, he never failed you, not even once. He was the funniest and thoughtful friend, the most caring and loving boyfriend, the most romantic fiancé and the most perfect husband you could’ve possibly asked for. He had always promised you unconditional love and a lot of other things, and he had always tried his best to fulfill them. No exceptions.

When you found out that you were pregnant, it was the happiest day for both of you. Didn’t matter how the pregnancy would take a toll on you, Seokmin was beside you the entire time. He didn’t wait for your belly to start to get in the way of your routine, he was already doing things for you since day one – if not even before you knew you were pregnant. He traveled to another city just to buy you the right kind of dragon fruit you were craving for; went to a 24 hour supermarket in the middle of the night to buy ingredients to cook you a chinese dish you were craving because all the chinese restaurants were closed; read every book he could possibly read about pregnancy and parenthood.

Not to talk about when you gave birth. He was there all the time, letting you smash his hand, encouraging you to keep pushing, kissing the top of your head, removing the strands of hair from your wet forehead and being very attentive to the doctor’s actions, ready to intervene if she did something she shouldn’t be doing to you or to the baby. And when you were finally home, he didn’t let you get out of the bed for any reason but going to the bathroom (and he went with you every single time, even if you assured him countless times that you were fine and could do that yourself) and didn’t even let you ask for something. If your water bottle was getting empty, he would always fill it up before you having to ask for it; he would always bring you food before you complain about being hungry; he would massage your body way before you start to feel any kind of pain or soreness; he would take care of the baby more than you, just to make sure that you get the proper rest you needed and so deserved.

So you couldn’t let that man think that he wasn’t being the best husband and the best father if his life was all about you and your baby just because he had to get back to his working routine.

“I love how your singing is his white noise. I’m gonna need you to record you singing that song for when you’re away and he starts to cry out of nowhere.”

“I love that too,” Seokmin chuckled. “I guess that singing for him every day and night worked pretty well. I just hope he doesn’t get tired of listening to the same old song every time.”

You chuckled and pecked his neck before letting out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding back. “I love you…”

“I love you too, my darling. Now rest, okay? You don’t have to worry anymore about anything, I’ll take care of him and you’ll take care of yourself,” he sighed and looked down at you, a smile forming on his lips. “You don’t have to deal with the burden of parenthood’s responsibilities all by yourself, I’m also his parent and I’m right here with you. We’re a team, remember?”

“Right, we’re a team…” You mumbled softly.

“From now on, I want you to promise me that you will call me as soon as you start to feel overwhelmed, can you do that for me? And don’t even try to refute me by saying that you can’t do that because of my job, ‘cause I will leave earlier and deal with my boss later. You,” he booped your nose. “And this little one are my priority and nothing else comes first.”

“I promise. If I ever feel like this again I’ll call you right away.”

“Good.” He kissed your forehead.

In that moment, you let the exhaustion win over your mind and body once again, but this time knowing that you won’t have to worry about waking up before you feel totally rested because you have Seokmin. You always had him and always will.

𖹭.ᐟ enjoyed the fic? join my taglist to know whenever i'll post another one! have a great day ;)

[27spoons]

You should totally do a fic or smthn where it’s just nat making out w reader. Or maybe Lottie making out w reader. Honestly anything gay…which is everything. So..yea I love everything you do. -🤺

i realised how long this was sitting in my inbox for, then realised i could literally just make it a blurb. i am so sorry, 🤺. pls forgive me 😔😔😔

anyways......... what if i said............

lottienat making out with reader??

short/sweet. sfw but suggestive themes. <800 words

The party is loud, bodies pressed together in a haze of music and cigarette—honestly, probably also weed—smoke. The bass thrums through your body, rattling your bones in time with the pulse of the shitty strobe lights. Someone's spilled beer is sticky under your Converse, but you don't care. You're not really here for the party.

You're here for them.

Natalie's back is against the wall, her face impassive, and her dark eyeliner is smudged just enough to make her look effortlessly wrecked. (You, of course, know how long she spent fussing over it to ensure it looked just right.) A cigarette dangles between her fingers, barely an afterthought as she watches you with that sharp, knowing gaze. Lottie is beside her, practically glowing in the dim lighting—something ethereal in how her lip gloss catches the neon colours from the strobe lights. 

She's softer than Nat but no less intense, and that's evident in the way her left hand has started trailing up your arm while the other firmly clutches at a Red Solo Cup.

"Y'been teasing us all night," Nat murmurs, tapping her cigarette against a makeshift ashtray on the table beside her.

"I think we deserve an apology," Lottie chimes in, tilting her head with that dreamy, faraway look, but her hand tightens around your wrist, firm and possessive—a sharp contrast.

You barely get a word out before Nat pulls you in, tasting like smoke and whiskey, her lips rough and demanding. Your back hits the wall, and Lottie makes her presence more known. She strokes your arm as your kiss with Nat shifts into a battle for dominance. The music fades into the background, and it's just three of you that remain.

Lottie's fingers trail up your jaw, guiding your face toward her as Nat pulls back just enough to watch. Her lips are softer, slower, and teasing compared to the sharp bite of Nat's—it always gives you a bit of whiplash when being pulled between them, but you've never really minded.

When she deepens the kiss, you harbour no resistance, sighing into her mouth and grabbing the thin fabric of her dress.

Natalie makes a noise—low, amused, possessive.

"Y'two are so fuckin' pretty," she murmurs, her fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, tracing lazy circles against your bare skin.

Lottie's lips linger against yours, just enough to leave you wanting more, but she's pulling back with a slight hum before you can have more. Her nails skim down your arm, teasingly contrasting how Nat's grip tightens at your waist. The rush you get from them is far more intoxicating than the buzz in your veins, more intoxicating than the whiskey on Nat's tongue, and a better high than the ditch weed you've been smoking all night.

You barely have time to register a shift happening before Nat tugs you back in, claiming your mouth like she's got something to prove. Her teeth catch your lower lip, just shy of too hard, and you whimper into her mouth. The sound earns you a quiet, satisfied chuckle from the blonde before she's diving back in, tasting your mouth and exploring the warmth that she's felt countless times before.

Lottie's fingers thread into your hair, tilting your head just enough that she can press a soft kiss against the curve of your jaw. You're sure she would let her kisses roam across your face like she usually does, but Nat seems very firm on keeping her mouth slotted against yours, so Lottie simply explores the line of your jaw and gradually up to your ear, lips lingering on that spot she loves to mark. When your whole body shudders at the feeling of her lips against that spot, you can feel the smirk pressed to your skin.

"I think…" she murmurs, voice the perfect picture of faux innocence, "we should take this somewhere else."

Nat grunts in agreement when she pulls back from your lips, her eyes blown (and not just from whatever she's been taking tonight). "Yeah. 'fore I decide I don't give a shit about an audience."

Her hand slips lower, fingers ghosting over the waistband of your jeans, and you find yourself nodding before you even have time to process the action.

Nat presses one last kiss to the corner of your mouth as Lottie takes your hand and leads you out of the house party and back to her car. You'd be lying if you said you weren't looking forward to getting out of there all night.

Now, the real fun begins.

[100hyunswife]

suite escape | 100hyunswife

f. reader (assistant) x Byun Baekhyun

genre: smut w/fluff since Baek is a little bratty but so sweet (until the sex demon comes out)

wc: 6,398

warnings: dom!Baekhyun; piv; oral sex (f receiving); sugar daddy coded; jealous!baekhyun; mirror sex; choking; hair pulling; man handling; missionary sex; doggy/back shots; tiny breeding kink; FILLED W TENSION; mentions of cheating

synopsis: you’re on your way to a press conference with your boss byun baekhyun. a blizzard disrupts your plans and leads you two to sharing a luxury hotel suite together. baekhyun takes this chance to turn up the heat between you two as you’re stuck together in close quarters.

author’s note: my first fic ever! be gentle pls haha. feedback is very appreciated! hope you enjoy :) xx - veronica

Byun Baekhyun. Your boss is expensive and will only accept the best of the best. That applies to all areas of his life. Most notably at the moment, is his car that you’re currently riding in with him. His famous Porsche 911 Turbo S hums a sweet low purr as it is steered down the highway, taking you two to a press conference. Since it is no more than an hour and a half drive, Baekhyun insisted on driving there with you instead of other transportation options. He’ll always take the opportunity to drive himself; it’s one of his favorite things to do, it clears his mind so well. Other staff members were given Ubers with the plan for you to all meet up at the venue. He also wouldn’t mind the excuse to get to talk to you one-on-one. He’s always been curious about you, his dedicated assistant, and wants to get to know you on a more personal level.

Luckily, you and Baekhyun share the same taste in music. Classic RnB tunes play softly in the background of your drive. After a bit, Baekhyun’s voice fills the air.

“I’m really glad you agreed to ride with me for the trip down,” he confesses.

“Of course! We’re saving money this way,” you reply matter-of-factly. You are frugal to a fault, never able to understand Baekhyun’s quick willingness to spend money. “It’s nice to see you take your own steps to keeping a healthy wallet,” you add with a sassy tone. You were always like this with him - he needed it sometimes. You truly were the backbone to his success and he appreciates everything you do, and yes, including the motherly nagging that can come about. You both were a powerful work couple, but little did you know, Baekhyun wants to be more.

“So…” he starts before clearing his throat, “are you seeing anyone?”

Your head shoots up at the unexpected question. Your eyes scramble for something to focus on as you craft an answer back. Do you tell him the truth? The truth that your shitty ex-boyfriend from last summer dumped you after leaving you for the woman he had an affair with? Hmm, too personal, you think. Besides, he’s probably just asking to make sure I won’t be distracted from this job by being in a relationship.

“No,” you respond tersely.

“Oh, but Greg—” Baekhyun begins to question about said shitty ex-boyfriend.

“Greg cheated on me.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Baekhyun mutters out.

“It’s fine, trust me, you’ve got me busy enough anyway! I don’t have the time to truly think about it and get sad.”

The conversation trails off after this. Baekhyun has a sympathetic look as he stares out onto the road. You could’ve sworn he moved his right hand over towards you, as if to place it on your thigh for comfort, but it was quickly retracted. What was a bit awkward at first transforms into a comfortable silence. You take pleasure in being in the passenger seat, seeing the world pass by. Snow begins to softly fall from the sky. It’s not too bad at first, but after another half hour passes, the snow begins to really come down and pile up on the road. Baekhyun doesn’t look too phased, so you don’t question it.

As the drive continues, your mind revisits your conversation. You really haven’t thought about Greg in a while. The last time he crossed your mind, funnily enough, was when you last touched yourself. You were using a toy that you got back when you and Greg started growing distant - of course now you know why he stopped having sex with you. You haven’t been fucked in a year, and it’s really starting to become apparent to you just how horny you are.

You stare at Baekhyun’s hand gripping the steering wheel. His delicate but nicely sized fingers curve around it. You feel a bit shameful letting your mind wander like this, but you can’t help it. He looks effortlessly cool like this. It’s not like you never noticed that your boss, THE Byun Baekhyun was attractive. But you work for him, and he had you occupied indeed. Your professional relationship doesn’t stop you from having little fantasies crop up in your mind on this ride, though. So when you watch his beautiful fingers adjust their grip on the steering wheel, you can’t help but wonder how they’d look wrapped around—

“y/n.”

Your eyes snap up to find Baekhyun looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You look around to see that you two have pulled over into the shoulder and the snow flakes that fall are even bigger than what they were 30 minutes ago. The scenery is coated in white.

“I think we’ll have to call it a day from here, the snow isn’t letting up and I want to be safe,” Baekhyun says with worry. He pulls out his phone and sees that the other staff members have already arrived to the venue and are discussing things with the venue’s management. They caution that they’re thinking of cancelling the press conference for the day and moving it to tomorrow afternoon’s backup date to be safe.

“It’s probably for the best,” you tell him.

Defeated, you two pulled up to the nearest hotel you could find to get out of the hazardous weather. It turned out to be a luxurious hotel - you hate to be putting out such a pretty penny just for overnight shelter before you continue on the rest of your way in the morning, but you needed to get out of the snow.

At the valet, you open your car door to be met with the frigid air of what is fully a blizzard. Your cheeks flush. With your luggage, you both head to the lobby. Baekhyun heads to the front desk to make the reservations while you stand off in a far corner on your phone, updating the rest of the staff of your guys’ plans and whereabouts.

You approach Baekhyun after the phone call is complete, “Got the rooms?”

“Got the room.”

“Room?”

“Yes.”

“One?” you ask, stopping in your tracks.

Baekhyun continues to walk without looking back, “Oh, shouldn’t I be spending less money?”

You catch up to him and look at him dumbfounded.

“I wanted a presidential suite and you said that I need to stop spending so much money, so I got one.”

You narrow your eyes at his pettiness.

He waves off your look of distaste saying it’s fine and just one night. “You need to taste luxury for once,” he adds.

“But Baekhyun, there’s probably only one bed.”

“What? You afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself?”

You’re speechless as you raise your eyebrow and follow him on the elevator up.

As you both stand in the empty elevator together, he discreetly peers over at you to observe the slight panic on your face. He feels a bit bad about the distress written on your face, but it’s erased when he thinks about how wound-up you are all the time. You deserve to be pampered and the only way he could make sure you were is if he gave it to you. He didn’t want you to humbly reject a suite all to yourself. Also, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want the excuse to be able to talk to you more.

Ding. You’ve arrived to the top floor, and surprisingly, the door opens directly to the suite itself. It expands the entire floor. Your eyes go wide as you step into the space.

Large floor to ceiling windows are dressed up with satin chocolate drapery. Large green Majesty Palm plants are placed in each corner, breathing life into the space. Leather furniture by Le Corbusier rests on the polished, beige marble floor. The recessed lighting along the ceiling is dimmed and casts a warm glow, creating a soft ambience in this luxurious interior. Your mouth is slightly ajar as you explore. You’ve never been somewhere so opulent. Baekhyun thinks the awestruck sparkle in your eye is… cute. Though you might say otherwise, he knows you like it.

You continue to walk around the suite, looking at all the sections. Soon you get to the bedroom and rest your luggage next to the large king sized bed in front of you.

All this space and still just one bedroom? Curse these designers, you think to yourself.

The bedroom is beautiful. The windows of this cornered room give such a perfect view of the cityscape and the snow that continues to come down. Though it’s a bitch to be outside in it, the snow coating the city in a thick blanket looks so majestic. The view is breathtaking.

Baekhyun joins you in standing in front of the window, but instead of his gaze being on the city, it’s fixed on you.

He gives you a soft smile, “Do you like it?”

You look over at him and bite your lip, fighting your mouth from giving too big of a smile.

“It’s okay to say yes,” he leads on.

“You really didn’t have to get all this,” you say looking down at your hands, “but, yes,” you end in a whisper.

“Well then it’s worth it,” Baekhyun replies with a satisfied look on his face. He turns away and gets started on unpacking his clothing.

You decide to check out the attached bathroom next. You flip the switch and are met with the most expansive bathroom you’ve ever seen. You get excited over the large bath and all the toiletry amenities; they even provided bubbles and bath salts! You couldn’t wait to put them to use. It’s been so long since you’ve had a truly relaxing evening with how busy your job is.

You announce to Baekhyun that you’ll be in the bathroom to take a bath and begin to run the steamy water. You pour in the bubbles and lavender bath salts. The herbal aroma fills the air; you inhale deeply, already feeling relaxed. You undress and sink into the tub, ready to melt away the stress of the day. You stay there like this, savoring the quiet, feeling the tension release from your body…

After a tranquil half-hour of soaking, you conclude your bath. You are about to rise from the water, but instinctually reach for a towel first. That’s when you realize, shit. You forgot to bring over your towel. If this were your bathroom at home, it wouldn’t have been a problem since it is small and doesn’t take much to reach over to the towel bar from the tub. However, this is very much unlike your bathroom at home. You scan the perimeter and spot the towels folded neatly on shelves by the sink. The distance is way too long for you to walk soaking wet without trailing water everywhere.

You sigh in defeat, knowing it’s best to just ask Baekhyun to hand you one, he’s not doing anything anyway. You yell to him to help hand you a towel. You hear his footsteps approach and tell him to keep his head down. You still in the water, draw your knees into your chest. You feel nervous, being naked in front of your boss.

Baekhyun hands it to you without looking up and just before he was about to quickly slip out, you request him to leave the door cracked to let out some of the steam that has accumulated. He obliges and returns to sitting on the bed to continue unpacking his things. As he takes out a pair of pajama pants from his suitcase, his eyes catch a titillating sight.

The door is cracked open no more than two inches, but it is enough for him to see a glimpse of your body as you rise from the tub fully naked through the mirror that reflects it in front of him. He sees your body glisten under the bright, fluorescent bathroom lighting as you proceed to wrap yourself in the towel he just handed to you. The towel he just touched. The towel that is now touching your soft, bare curves.

Baekhyun shuts his eyes, and squeezes them. Her coming back to see you with a boner would NOT be ideal, he thinks to himself. He takes a deep breath, stopping himself from getting too worked up.

You locate your pajamas. You only brought two options with you: a sheer slip dress and a big t shirt. That big t-shirt being an old EXO t-shirt with your bias’ name on the back: Suho. You were not prepared for this freak scenario that you’re in. You weren’t expecting to be seen by someone at night. Your mortified and face palm inwardly at your last minute wardrobe choices. You sigh as you pull the big t-shirt over your head, it will have to do. You just hope that he won’t tease you about it. When you joined the company, you let Baekhyun know you were aware of EXO’s legacy but he had no idea that you were an actual fan.

This is gonna be interesting…

You step out of the bathroom and hurriedly jump into the bed and pull the duvet up to your neck.

“Ok?” Baekhyun looks at you quizzically, “I’m going to go wash up now.” He leaves to the bathroom with his pajamas and toiletries.

You let out a big sigh, happy that you didn’t get caught in this embarrassing shirt. You scooch over a bit more to the left, making sure you’re as far on your side of the bed as possible without falling off. You detest the current arrangements but the displeasure doesn’t stay on your mind for too long. It’s been a long day, and as you hear the water from Baekhyun’s shower, it acts as white noise, lulling you to sleep. You feel drowsy and your eyelids slowly close, fully consumed by the toll of your day.

Once Baekhyun steps out of the bathroom and spots your sleeping figure, the desire to sleep hit him as well. He gets into bed and frowns at the amount of distance between you two. Hopefully with time you’ll open up to him. He knew this one night wouldn’t have been enough. He closes his eyes and waits for sleep to take him… but it’s no use. Unfortunately, his mind is too awake. Images of your naked body are branded in his vision. When he closes his eyes, your form is all he sees and he can’t stop thinking about what it’d feel like to touch you. He struggles to clear his mind. You’re right next to him. So close, yet so far away. How long will he have to wait for you to be his?

The next morning, you wake up entangled in each other’s bodies. Your leg is hiked up against Baekhyun as your head rests on his chest. His hand rests on the small of your back, holding you close. You freeze. How the fuck did we get like this? Thank god you’re up before him; you quickly scurry out of his grasp gently without waking him up. After separating yourself, you admit that you miss the warmth of that position.

You check your phone to make sure you didn’t over sleep and have enough time to make it for the rescheduled date of the conference that was made for this afternoon. The time is 7:48am - not bad at all considering you didn’t set an alarm. Your eyes continue down the remainder of your lock screen. Soon, you see a slurry of texts from the rest of the staff alerting you that the conference has been called off completely. The venue, and the rest of the businesses in the area, will be closed until further notice until the blizzard subsides. Your eyes widen with shock - you had no idea it’d be this bad. You open up the weather app and sure enough, there is a warning for extreme winter conditions. You slide through the hourly forecast and see that this blizzard is not letting up anytime soon, great. You turn over in bed and look out the window to observe the street below; there are absolutely no cars out, the roads are closed, and the snow is still coming down heavy. Looks like you’ll be staying in this suite until everything clears. You sigh as you turn around, getting ready to share the bad news to Baekhyun.

You’re about to tap his shoulder, but you pause. You take the chance to really look at him: his cute nose, plump cheeks, and perfectly shaped pink lips. This man really is pretty. Little did you know, Baekhyun is awake. He feels your eyes on him too and it’s hard for him to contain his smirk.

He looks so peaceful when he rests, but you have to update him. You poke his shoulder and softly whisper his name. He moves a little bit but still acts like he’s asleep, wanting to hear his name coming from your mouth again. It just sounds so good when you say it.

“Baekhyun,” you whisper a little louder. He finally opens his eyes. Happy to meet yours, he smiles sweetly.

“Good morning, y/n.”

God, his raw morning voice was not something you were prepared for. You almost bite your lip. You try not to show it on your face how affected you are, but nonetheless, he notices. That infamous smirk creeps up onto his face. You blush and your mind becomes empty.

You see him sit up and turn over, sinking his left hand into the mattress to support his weight, and shifting to be above you. He adds his right hand down onto the bed, holding himself squarely on top of you. As he hovers over you, he looks down into your eyes. Your gazes lock on each other. Your heart stops as you look up at him. Frozen with shock. Frozen with wonder and want. But following his actions, you see him reach over to grab the temperature control remote that was resting on your nightstand.

“It’s a little too warm,” he says so casually, still above you. You feel his breath slightly grace your forehead. He presses the button to turn the heat off before swiftly returning to sit up on his side of the bed.

You let out a deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding. You blink a couple of times to regain your composure and clear your throat.

“So it looks like the conference has been called off because of the weather,” you gesture to the window, “…the blizzard is bigger than we initially thought.” You catch him up on the staff’s messages and bleak weather forecast.

Baekhyun is a little upset at the delay in his scheduling of things, but he doesn’t stay disappointed for too long. More time with you, he thinks.

You get up from bed and head to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You walk languidly, completely forgetting about what you wore to bed.

Baekhyun’s eyes narrow at the name on the back of your shirt. Suho? She likes Suho? Huh. He feels a tinge of jealousy. Here you are working for him and you decide to bring the t-shirt of a different group member. And wear it right in front of him. Baekhyun waits for you to return to playfully confront you.

“Hmmm, so your type is a dandy, preppy, book smart guy, huh?”

“Baekhyun, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say in confusion.

“Well, I don’t know,” he starts while walking towards you slowly, teasingly. He places both of his hands on your shoulders and guides you in front of the large mirror. Your back faces it, your face still to him. And he is impossibly close. He smirks before slightly leaning down and whispering into your ear, “You really know how to make a guy jealous, don’t you?”

You look back into the mirror, only to be met face-to-face with what you attempted to hide so carefully the night prior. You immediately shut your eyes. You feel your cheeks heat up, partially due to your clothing revelation and partially due to just how close you both are to each other.

Baekhyun slides his hands down your arms before completely removing them from you and crosses his arms. He cocks up an eyebrow, enjoying how small you look in front of him — literally and figuratively. Your shyness is palpable and the oversized shirt you were drowning in made you look fragile as he peers down at you. Like someone he wants to protect. Someone he wants to care for.

Before you could defend yourself, Baekhyun projects, “That’s why you were making googly eyes at him when you met the group after the EXO fan meeting we had!”

“I was not!” You countered, embarrassed at the possible truth of his statement. “Why would you even notice something like that? Stop making things up to embarrass me.”

The truth is, Baekhyun notices everything you do. Your quirks and all. How you twirl your pencil while you think, how you stick out your tongue when concentrating, and especially how you bit your lips while looking at Suho while greeting the rest of his members backstage at the fan meeting last year.

With a soft smile, Baekhyun hands you one of his spare button ups. “Well I can’t stand to see you in it any longer. Take this.”

“Does it really bother you that much? Is your ego that big? You don’t have to be everyone’s favorite you know!” You give a snarky reply. Of course, you’re still going to change out of it, though. You didn’t mean to ever be seen in it. With hesitation you accept the the shirt and bring it with you to the bathroom.

You slide your t-shirt off and replace it with Baekhyun’s fresh smelling white button up. As you slide each arm through, Baekhyun’s words ring in your head. You really know how to make a guy jealous, don’t you? Did he really mean that he’s jealous of the fact that your bias in the group wasn’t him? And if so, he’s just joking right? Your cheeks are still warm. You place your two hands onto your face to calm them. Feeling his closeness, his hands on your shoulders and how he slid them down your arms as he let go, and the soft tickle of his breath against the skin of your neck when he whispered to you, it refrains in your mind.

You look into the mirror at yourself in his clothes. You don’t know exactly what it is you feel, but you don’t hate it. It’s actually… comforting. This shirt is just as big as your t-shirt, so it’s oversized and comfy. It’s better than the sheer nightie that’s in your suitcase — no way that’s coming out. You’re stuck here for who knows how much longer, at least you have a new third option.

You step out the bathroom and walk towards the main living space to see Baekhyun on the phone.

“Yes, the breakfast platter for two please.”

He talks to the concierge, sitting on the brown leather sofa. His legs are spread wide and he leans back into the chair, looking up at the ceiling as he speaks. He looks delectable. You stand at the entrance of the room and continue to observe him. You see him hold the menu in one hand and the phone in the other as he carefully skims the beverage options.

“One matcha latte with almond milk and one iced americano,” he requests.

He remembered your favorite cafe order: you’re precious matcha latte. You’re shocked at this since, as his assistant, you’re usually the one to order your food at any given moment, so there’s no reason for him to archive that detail about you in his mind. After hanging up the phone, Baekhyun leans to place the menu on the coffee table. In that motion, he catches your figure standing by the entrance way. He sucks in a sharp pull of air. He stares back, wordlessly. He himself wasn’t prepared to see you in his clothing. It did something to him he wasn’t ready for. Warmth gathers in his chest. He looks you up and down as you make your way over to him. The shirt’s hem stops at such a delicious height on your thigh, tempting even. Any higher and he would have a hard time being discreet with his gaze.

“Thanks for breakfast, Baek,” you say smiling. Baekhyun could have died. You, standing in front of him in just his shirt, and calling him a new nickname? For the first time that trip, you had Baekhyun blushing.

Not too soon after, the food arrives and you two pleasantly share the meal together. At the end of your main meal, you indulge in the included sweet morning treat: churros and chocolate. It’s no secret that you love sweets - Baekhyun gifts you a set of chocolates every year for your birthday. You pick up the thick, cinnamon and sugar covered fried stick of dough and dip it into the accompanied pot of liquified chocolate. With anticipation of the flavor and little else in your mind, you lift it up to your lips and take a bite. You close your eyes as you savor the decadent dessert. You’re sure your lips have curved up into a smile as you chew.

Sitting across from you, Baekhyun finds your deep enjoyment of sweets adorable, as well as the chocolate sauce that is left on the corner of your mouth. He reaches over the table to swipe it away with his thumb. He wishes he could have licked it off. The unexpected contact causes you to open your eyes just after swallowing.

“You had something there,” he says wiping his thumb off with a napkin.

You feel your cheeks heat up. Gosh, why does he keep making your heart flutter, it’s as if he’s doing it on purpose at this point. He gives you a smile as he raises from his chair.

“Here,” he scoots his set of churros towards you, “have mine too.”

He affectionately ruffles your hair with his hand and leaves to sit at the desk in the bedroom. You watch him leave, he has such a confident stride when he walks. It’s sexy. You return your gaze to the churros and aren’t shy about finishing them. You eat your way to the last remaining churro. After dipping it, you bring it over to yourself slowly��� too slowly. The chocolate sauce that coated the end drips directly onto Baekhyun’s clean white button up. Shit, shit, shit. You shoot up and scurry to the bathroom, passing Baekhyun on your way. Baekhyun turns his head in concern when he sees you run into the bathroom. You immediately take the shirt off and run it under the water of the fully blasting faucet. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you ruined a perfectly good shirt that he kindly lent to you. Drowned out by the sound of the running water and the swarm of thoughts in your mind, Baekhyun goes unnoticed as he steps in the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. In the middle of your desperate attempts to scrub the stain out of his shirt, you suddenly feel yourself encased. Baekhyun’s hands are on each of your sides. You look up into the large mirror in front of you and see Baekhyun right behind you as you stand there topless in just a pair of panties. You could have screamed but you caught yourself. You’re frozen with shock. You thought it’d be bad just if he saw that you stained his shirt, but this is so, so much worse. Or so you tell yourself.

“You know, I came in here out of concern,” he starts, “you ran right past me without saying anything and you didn’t even close the door, I had to do it for you.”

“Baekhyun, get out!” You protest as you miserably try to cover yourself.

But he doesn’t move, he stays pressed up against you, forcing you to stay facing the sink. Trapped for him to control.

“Finish what you’re doing.”

Through the mirror, your eyes shoot daggers at him, but he wouldn’t know how it’d feel to get directly hit by them. He’s been peering down at you from the side this whole time. He watches your pride crumble in front of him, because of him, directly with his own eyes.

He continues, “This is my shirt, that I own,” he pauses, “I deserve to oversee it with all the damage that you’ve done.”

It wasn’t the shirt that he wanted to oversee, it was you.

You’re in disbelief but guilty. In a desperate attempt to make this moment pass as soon as possible, you continue to tend to the shirt, though your tries at truly getting what is left of the stain out are futile. After a minute of rubbing and rinsing as best you can, you turn off the faucet in defeat.

“Please,” you let out in a whisper, “I’m so embarrassed right now, you have no idea. This is the most I can do, I’m sorry,” you say with your head down, not able to meet his eyes in the mirror.

He stays silent. Your mind races. You’re afraid that he’s upset. In this moment of stillness, you feel uneven pressure against your ass. Something hard pokes you from between you two. You look up and see his eyes closed and his lips parted. He’s aroused. It’s so obvious and you’re so gone. Byun Baekhyun, your hot as fuck boss, is pressed up against you in the bathroom of the suite that he paid for for you two, with a boner that he can barely contain.

Your eyes travel from his delicate hands resting in the edge of the counter, to his wrist decorated in a platinum Rolex watch, then up his arm. Slowly, you turn around to fully face him. Your eyes are level with his broad chest. It’s contained by a plain black tee and decorated with his beloved gold Chrome Hearts cross necklace. Eventually you meet his face. Your eyes lock.

His eyes flicker to your lips for a moment.

“Can I be honest?” He asks.

You nod in earnest, hanging on to his every word.

“There’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

You wait for him to continue. He holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger and gives you a sweet but firm kiss on the lips. This one peck turns into two, then three. Each lasting longer than the last, until you both are fully exploring each other’s mouths. You decide to get flirty: in the middle of your kiss, you pull away to lick his bottom lip. This elicits a deep groan from him. You gently bite his bottom lip while pulling away; it snaps back into place. Baekhyun presses his forehead to yours after that amazing kiss.

“God, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he says breathless. The lack of contact doesn’t last long, though. Now that you’re facing him unlike earlier, he takes the opportunity to unashamedly get a good look at your body. He bites his lip as he fully takes in the sight of you. After a good up and down, his eyes stay tethered to your breasts. He cups them in his big hands before swirling his thumbs around your nipples. You moan softly and throw your arms around his shoulders. He bends and latches his lips to your neck. He leaves open mouthed kisses on this long stretch of skin, all for him to mark. He notes one special area that makes you throw your head back.

“Please, Baek,” you pant out.

“Please what?”

“I-I need you.”

“Where?” he asks, the roughness in his voice palpable. You grab his hand and put it right over your mound that is covered only by your panties. His eyes flash a darker shade of brown.

Baekhyun sinks down your body, his hands take a quick tour, running along your torso, swiping your breasts, your stomach, and down your legs as his knees get closer to the floor. He swiftly meets the cool, hard tile. He braces himself by holding onto your hips.

“Spread your legs, I want to taste you.” He commands and you obey.

His teeth meet the top of your panties; he bites the fabric and drags them down — they drop to your ankles.

He looks hungry. He gives your pussy a kiss.

“So so pretty.”

He finally gets a taste. Your fingers grip his hair in pleasure as he uses the thick, well-trained muscle to swirl around your swollen bud. With no more delay, he dips his tongue between your folds, eating you out with passion.

“Ah, Baek,” you whine languidly. Baekhyun smirks against you, still loving your new name for him. He fucks you with his tongue, getting more impatient by the second.

Suddenly, Baekhyun stands tall again, you see the big tent in the front of his pants. He looks, and is, uncomfortably hard. You can’t help but stare. He notices and brings your hand to touch his bulge atop the thin fabric of his cotton pajama pants.

“See what you do to me baby?”

Your mouth is agape. He really wants you and there’s no denying it now. In a drunken daze, ready to be filled, you pull down the waistband of his pants and underwear. You see it spring out, thick, hard, and angrily leaking with pre cum. You run a finger along the shaft. You see him shut his eyes and he makes a fist out of frustration. You smile, successfully teasing him. You give in and grip his cock with your hand entirely, giving it a couple of strokes up and down. Baekhyun reattaches his lips to yours as you get him impossibly hard.

He says, with little restraint left, “I need to fuck you. Now.”

He regains control and grabs your waist to lift you up onto the bathroom counter. You keep your legs spread wide for him to fit himself in between. He pumps himself one more time before lining his cock up with your entrance. His eyes flick up to yours before he takes the plunge; he wants to be sure you feel the same desire, the same ache, the same burning need. You give him a nod with needy eyes.

He watches your face closely as he sinks into you. He pushes in slowly. He could get off solely from seeing your face contort from pleasure. You both groan at this new depth of contact, of intimacy, and most notably, of pleasure. Baekhyun wants to shut his eyes and focus on how tight and wet you are around his length, but he doesn’t. He keeps his eyes open. He doesn’t want to miss a single movement from you. He wants to catch ever squirm, every wriggle, every sigh and lip bite. He wants to see all the evidence of his effect on you.

He thrusts into you go deeper and deeper as you beg him to go harder. Heavy breaths and terse grunts leave his lips. Meanwhile, you can’t control yourself. Your eyes roll back and your hands smooth over his broad shoulders and back, feeling his muscles tense with every movement he makes.

“I want you to see how pretty you look when you’re stuffed with my cock,” He breathes out.

Before you can react, you’re lifted off the counter and he promptly turns you around — returning you to your original position that started all this. His hand snakes around from behind and grips your neck. Your back arches. You’re forced to look up and at yourself in the mirror. He gives it a slight squeeze, restricting your airflow. Your eyes roll back at the dizzying sensation. You can focus on nothing but the pleasure that is welling up inside of you. Your mind and body is filled with him.

“Look at how you fall apart for me,” he whispers into your ear before once again attaching his mouth to your neck, nibbling that special spot of yours. You’re his and he wants you to remember that beyond the hotel stay. Not your shitty ex-boyfriend’s, not Suho’s, his.

You let out a cry at the love bite, too fucked out to care how loud you are. He switches his grip from your neck to now being wrapped around your hair, pulling your head back. You’re completely exposed, tits bouncing with the impact from him slamming into you. You can’t control your moans as he pummels inside of you; thrust after thrust you feel that band within your stomach tightening, getting closer and closer to snapping.

“Fuck, Baek please! I’m so close,” you whine out.

Your pussy grips his cock, ready to milk him for everything he has.

“Yeah, you want to cum? You want to cum all over my pretty cock don’t you?”

You nod your head in ecstasy. “Yes, yes, yes,” you chant.

Baekhyun’s grip on your waist tightens and his eyebrows furrow. He looks down, mesmerized at his cock disappearing inside of you.

“Fucking cum for me,” he grunts out roughly.

You feel your body tremble as your release takes over. Your vision goes white; your body explodes under his grasp. Soon after, you feel Baekhyun grip your waist the hardest he ever has.

“You’re gonna take every drop,” he forces out through gritted teeth. He stills in you and throws his head back with a growl. His thick cock pulses inside of you as it shoots his pent up load. Thick ropes of his hot white cum paint your walls.

If his hand wasn’t on your waist to hold you up, you would have collapsed from your unstable legs. You close your eyes, still recovering from the intense orgasm. Your body is spent. He slowly pulls out of you; you feel the mix of your secretions seep out your cunt.

Your body feels heavy in this moment, but with the kiss that Baekhyun lands on your shoulder, your heart flutters and feels light.

[beansprean]

E11 Ideas in no particular order:

Simon the Devious rug pull/reveal

Simon the Devious was behind the documentary all along. He is Greg the camera guy. The documentary was produced by the Daltry Brothers Production Company with thanks to the Toby Daltry Memorial Film Foundation

Outrageous nandermo flirting throughout

Nandermo secret off-camera relationship (we already have canon nandermo QPR I just wanna remind everyone Guillermo is officially in the polycule)

We find out via tv news in the background that Jordan got hit with that sign Nandor threw and he died (no one cares bc they are doing more interesting things)

Nandermo get served by the local Staten Island Chapter of Vampire Vigilantes for operating as superheroes without a permit

"Clip show" where they all watch the documentary

"Clip show" where they all watch the documentary and its full of 'deleted' scenes that we have never seen before (leading to revealed secrets and arguments and confessions and-)

1 hour special that is literally the documentary (with a special guest narrator)

The Guide x Miguel I am so serious

The entire episode is just a backdoor pilot for a spinoff series (seanmaine sitcom?) (life as cravensworth's robinson's monster?)

The house blows up/is destroyed somehow

Colin, as part of the house based on my own personal EV lore, dies or nearly dies bc of this. They get a new house and bury him there and then he pops back up babystyled and the monster has to be his dad now

The monster sacrifices himself to save his dads (noooo!!!!!!!!)

Last scene all the vampires are going into the fancy room to have an orgy and Nandor pokes his head out to say 'arent you coming Guillermo?' and he grins and shrugs at the camera and goes in and thats how it ends

Jenna was there The Whole Time (please god it would be so funny i will die on this hill)

Guillermo dies and Nandor has to turn him anyway

Guillermo dies and Nandor tries to turn him but apparently thats how energy vamps are made whoopsie

Laszlo says "Guillermo" correctly

Red carpet premiere of the documentary with all the fan favorite characters returning as guests

(maybe even including the two Freddies bc it would be very funny. Nandor getting jealous like excuse me step away from Guillermo you had your chance and Freddie is like oh sorry no I'm the other Freddie and Nandor is like o rly hello and Guillermo is like exCUSE ME STEP AWA-)

Red carpet premiere of the documentary with all the fan favorite characters returning as guests that turns out to be a trap set by the Vampiric Council and they all have to fight their way out of that shit again

Red carpet premiere of the documentary that turns out to be a trap set by Batdor and Robllermo to murder a bunch of rich people

Nadja starts an mlm foot pic empire with the monster as her bouncer (dressed in a cute little pimp suit and feathered hat)

Somehow, the Witch's Skin Hat has returned

Guillermo returns to his pre-corporate color palette (greens and browns and reds and patterns pls!!) but its well fitted and non shitty sweaters

All the ghosts of all the people they ever killed/buried at the house rise up and attack (including lisa's severed head), and this somehow leads to Dolly finishing her unfinished business and saying goodbye

The Guide is proud and relieved to see that Nandor is no longer obsessed with her and they are buddies now

She insinuates that he found what he was looking for (in Guillermo). sometimes you hurt every woman in your life because your soulmate is a man

Sean dies (noooooo!!!!!!!!)

Sean gets turned into a vampire

Sean gets turned into a vampire and immediately breaks every rule and also turns Charmaine and somehow manages to take over the entire eastern seaboard and overthrow Tilda Swinton as supreme leader of the Vampiric Council

MAJOR timeskip, like multiple years or even decades. 10 year retrospective post-documentary release?

They recreate the supernatural finale beat for beat, complete with colin in a very bad wig and two covers of "you're dead" back to back to fill up the runtime

Vampire society rises up against the house after the documentary is released and they all die

[dimeadozencows]

Sooo I've been obsessed with this au for a few days now and I thought.. why not use my abilities for evil

These are the designs from the tf2 x Steven Universe au by @lenny-link drawn in Steven Universe's art style! Or my best attempt at it lol.

I think the best looking ones are spy, heavy and soldier :]

Close ups↓

Also here's just the background; it's the bg from the tf2 lineup as a SU background, I'm really proud of how it looks hsjdjd

I also HAD to draw Andalusite by @gracefireheart cus good god he has taken over my entire heart. He's truly everything. The myth the legend the icon the moment. Happy pride month.

I like giving him a receding hairline cus. medic(has hair) + heavy(bald) = less hair. mathematics. The first drawing is my puny amateurish attempt at Rebecca Sugar's beautiful doodle art style. (I think I nailed the face and hair tho hehe)

(Your drawings are what introduced me to this au, I love them sm- I really hope you'll like this!!) (p.s; sorry for giving him a boob window. I wasn't strong enough.)

Aaaand my own design for a medic and scout fusion, Tourmaline! They only really form him when they both feel like wreaking havoc. he's impulsive, inattentive, hyperactive, he has no self preservation, and he's low-key dumb. When his senses kick in is usually when they unfuse. He can't see for shit and has to constantly remind himself to put on his glasses

(scout and medic shitty lil bratty kid + uncle who enables them dynamic truthers rise up)

(I had so many ideas for things I wanted to post so I thought I'd just put it all in one place gsjdjd, I hope people won't mind :'] )

[lupinqs]

CHAPTER THREE ━━ Mia, The Menace

❀ ━ pairing: paige bueckers x oc (jo jacobson)

❀ ━ word count: 4.6K

❀ ━ warnings: none i think

❀ ━ links: my masterlist, nobody gets me masterlist

❀ ━ author’s note: sigh another filler i’m sorry guys next chapter is when things actually start happening ….. also will u guys pls lmk if y’all like this series so far bc i feel like i’ve been writing it so shitty i’m sorry 🫠

THE AIR in Jo’s family home feels warmer than she remembers, thick with the lazy ease of summer afternoons in Boston. She’s sprawled out on the couch in the living room, half in Asher’s lap, her back pressed against his chest. The TV hums in the background, some half-forgotten show playing on low volume, but neither of them is paying much attention to it. Instead, their focus is on Mia, Jo’s eight-year-old little sister, who’s commanding the room as she rehearses her dance routine.

The house feels bigger than it ever does when Jo’s parents are home, their absence leaving behind a peculiar stillness that’s only occasionally interrupted by Mia’s bursts of energy. Her parents are celebrating their anniversary weekend in Maine, indulging in some much-deserved quiet while leaving Jo in charge of their youngest child. Jo doesn’t mind; after all, it’s July—her off-month—and she’s back in Boston for a brief stint of home-cooked meals and family chaos before heading back to Storrs in August. Babysitting Mia, however, is proving to be a full-time job in itself—which Jo probably should’ve expected.

Mia’s energy is endless. Right now, she’s twirling and leaping across the living room, her movements surprisingly precise for a kid her age. She’s dressed in a sparkly leotard and pink tights, her hair tied in an elaborate bun she’d made Jo do before this—because, well, if Jo is good for anything, it’s doing hair. During summer sessions, half the team made her do their braids before practice—Paige especially, the blonde hopeless at doing her own—and Jo knows it’ll only get worse when the season starts up.

Jo tries to keep a watchful eye on her sister, but she can’t help but be distracted by her boyfriend. He’s absentmindedly tracing small circles across the middle of her thigh, and she can feel his heart beating against her back. When she glances up at him, she can’t help but grin at the softness of his smile as he claps along with Mia’s haphazard twirls, the way he leans into the couch—into Jo—like he belongs here. Which, he does. He always has.

“Joey!” Mia calls, her voice sharp and commanding for an eight-year-old. She pauses mid-spin to put her hands on her hips, her small frame vibrating with indignation. “You’re not watching!”

Jo blinks, pulling herself out of her thoughts. “I am watching,” she defends, though it’s not quite true. She sits up a little straighter against Asher, nudging him as if to say help me out here. “You’re doing great, Mia. Keep going.”

Mia narrows her eyes, clearly unconvinced. “Ugh,” she groans, glaring at her older sister. “Payton always gives me better advice. You just say, ‘good job.’ That’s not going to help if I want to be the best dancer in the entire world, Jo!”

Jo exchanges a look with Asher, who’s barely holding back a laugh. Payton, Jo and Mia’s older sister, is a professional dancer living in New York City—a career Mia idolizes. Unlike Jo, who’s spent her life on the basketball court, Payton is everything Mis wants to be: graceful, disciplined, and impossibly good at pirouettes. It’s a path Jo has no interest in, which is probably why Mia constantly reminds her she’s the least qualified coach in the family.

“Well, yeah,” Jo says with a shrug. “Payton’s a pro. She’s, like, me in basketball but with dance. I’m just here to cheer you on, don’t really know what to tell you’s right or wrong, Mimi.”

Mia just groans again, even more dramatic this time, launching into another leap across the floor. Asher leans closer to Jo, his lips brushing against her ear as he drops his voice to a whisper. “Tough crowd.”

Jo snorts softly. “You have no idea,” she murmurs back.

Mia finishes her routine with a fluoride, throwing one arm in the air as if she’s just landed a gold medal-winning move at the Olympics. Asher claps loudly, a grin inching across his face. “Amazing, Mee!” he says enthusiastically, though he’d say that even if her performance was outright awful. “You’re getting even better than Payton, I think.”

For once, Mia doesn’t respond with her usual sass. Typically, when it comes to Asher, Mia’s either teasingly threatening him or biting at him or calling him funny names—she’s a menace child if Jo’s ever met one. But instead, Mia actually smiles at the boy, her cheeks flushed pink from exertion. “Thanks,” she says cheerfully, and Jo stares at her in disbelief.

“Wow,” the point guard says, raising an eyebrow, impressed. “You smiled at him. And thanked him. I think that’s a first.”

“Progress,” Asher claims, smiling broadly down at Jo.

Mia, on the other hand, sticks her tongue out at her older sister before collapsing onto the rug, sighing dramatically. “I’m exhausted. Someone get me a glass of water.”

“Get one yourself,” Jo tells her, already pulling out her phone. She scrolls through her notifications lazily, her thumb pausing when Paige’s name lights up her screen.

PB 😱😱

Got a nike event in Boston tmrw morning

Soooo we’re hanging out after

No negotiations

Jo’s lips twitch into a smile.

Ma freshie 💘

obviously

what time?

Paige replies almost instantly.

PB 😱😱

Like noon?

Don’t bail jojo

Jo shakes her head, rolling her eyes to herself. Paige never fails to amuse.

Asher, whose chin is now pressed against Jo’s hair, his gaze on her text. He asks, “So, you and her are really tight now, huh?”

Jo shrugs, because, well, kinda, duh. “I mean, we do live together,” she says, as if that explains everything.

“Yeah, but she’s Bueckers,” he replies, saying her name like it means something. Which, even though Paige would say it doesn’t, it totally does. “That’s a huge deal. She’s, like, insane on the court. Seen all the highlights.”

Jo doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, she lets her mind wander to the past month and a half—the morning runs, the late-night shooting, the quiet moments in their shared apartment, the not-so-quiet playful bickering. Paige isn’t just her teammate or her roommate. She’s… something else entirely. Someone Jo can’t quite put into words—an enigma, maybe. “She’s just Paige,” Jo murmurs finally, her voice softer now.

Asher grins. “I’ve gotta meet her sometime. Best introduce me soon, Jo.”

“You’ll like her,” she replies, confidence threading her voice. She can already picture how Paige would probably charm the hell out of him without even trying—she does it to everyone, after all. “She’s… yeah, she’s cool.”

From the rug, Mia sits up suddenly, as if she’s finally hearing the conversation, her curiosity clearly piqued. “Who’s Paige?”

Jo blinks at her. “My roommate,” she responds simply. “You knew that.”

“And teammate,” Asher adds.

“She knew that, too.”

Mia crosses her arms, her tone all business now, ignoring Jo’s last comment. “Is she nice?”

“Yeah,” Jo answers easily. “She’s great. Super chill, really funny.”

“Is she good at basketball?” Mia fired back.

Jo grins. “One of the best.”

“Bet she’s better than you.”

Jo throws one of the throw pillows on the couch at her sister’s head. “Shut up, Mia.”

Mia just giggles, dodging the pillow with ease. Asher laughs, shaking his head as he watches the two sisters bicker, more than familiar with it.

For all her teasing, Jo can’t shake the warm, almost buzzing feeling in her chest. She’s excited to see Paige tomorrow. For reasons she can’t explain, she’s missed her a lot these past couple weeks they’ve been away from campus. It’s probably just because going from basically spending every waking minute with one another to none at all is a little odd.

Probably.

THE JULY sun beats down on Boston, and Paige feels it’s warmth seeping into her skin as she walks along the tree-lined streets near the Commons. The Nike event she attended this morning went off without a hitch, just a casual appearance with some photos and a couple clips filmed that they’ll probably put into an add. But now, she’s got the rest of the day free. The thought makes her grin as she thumbs out a quick text to Jo.

PB 😱😱

All done 😊😊

Where u at?

It takes Jo less than a minute for Jo to reply, sending a pin for a location that’s about a half mile away. Paige starts walking, but a follow-up text rings before she’s even crossed the street.

Ma freshie 💘

mia and i are by the ice cream shop

hurry pls, she’s losing her mind

The next message is a picture of Mia making a ridiculous face, her lips twisted and one eye squinting in mock disgust. Paige snorts out a laugh right there on the sidewalk, the noise startling a couple walking by. She doesn’t care, though. The kid already seems like a riot, and Paige is oddly excited to meet her.

The stories Jo’s told her about Mia over the past month and a half come rushing back: the eight-year-old’s uncanny ability to get under people’s skin, her endless energy, and her knack for saying the wildest things at the worst times. Paige has been looking forward to meeting her, though she’s still not sure if it’s because she’s genuinely curious about the so-called “demon child” or if she just wants to see Jo in full big-sister mode.

When Paige rounds the final corner, she spots them immediately. Jo is standing near a brightly colored ice cream shop, her arms crossed, her face pinched in annoyance as she talks to a smaller figure—Mia, presumably. Mia, on the other hand, looks completely unbothered, her tiny hands on her hips as she talks back with the kind of confidence that only a sassy little girl could muster.

Paige slows her steps, taking in the scene with a grin tugging at her lips. Jo’s wearing a simple outfit—ripped jean shorts that show off her long legs, a tightly-fitted white tube top, and a Red Sox cap pulled low over her face. It’s casual, but there’s something about the way she looks so effortlessly good in it that makes Paige pause for half a second longer than she should.

Her stomach dips unexpectedly, and Paige frowns to herself. Relax.

Still, as Paige approaches, she can’t help but notice the way Jo’s tan skin seems to glow under the sun, how smooth her legs look. Paige shakes her head, forcing her thoughts back on track. Because, seriously, the fuck is she even thinking about?

Clearing her throat, Paige makes her presence known. Jo turns, her annoyed expression instantly replaced by something brighter—her eyes lighting up, a wide grin spreading across her face.

“Hey, JoJo,” Paige greets teasingly, the nickname rolling off her tongue before she can stop it.

Jo’s grin falters for half a second, and she slaps Paige’s arm lightly. “Quit calling me that.”

Paige smirks. “Nah.”

Before Jo can retort, Mia steps forward, her curious gaze fixed on Paige. The little girl is smaller than Paige expected, with a mop of dark curls and big brown eyes that seem to take in everything. Paige crouches down to her level, offering a hand.

“And you must be Mia,” she says warmly. “I’m Paige.”

Mia doesn’t take her hand right away. Instead, she gives Paige a long, exaggerated once-over, her gaze hard as she studies her. The blonde tries not to fidget, but it’s hard under the little girl’s piercing eyes. Jo wasn’t kidding; Mia’s got this quiet intensity that’s a little intimidating, even if she’s only eight years old and Paige is twenty.

Finally, Mia breaks into a grin and giggles as she takes Paige’s hand. “Hi,” she says, her voice lilting.

Paige relaxes, smiling back easily. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard lots about you.”

Mia tilts her head. “From Jo?”

“Yeah,” Paige remixes with a grin. “She talks about you all the time.”

Mia beams at this, clearly pleased, while Jo mutters something under her breath that Paige doesn’t catch.

Paige chuckles a little as she stands. “Sooo, ice cream, right?” she asks.

Mia’s eyes light up and she grabs Paige’s hand like she’s known her her whole life rather than a minute or two. “Yes! Best ice cream in Boston!”

Jo snorts, falling into step beside them, shoulder brushing against Paige’s lightly. “She says that about every ice cream place we go to,” she mumbles, though there’s an undeniable softness in her tone.

“It is the best,” Mia insist, her voice full of conviction.

Paige grins. “Guess I’ll have to see for myself.”

The moment they step inside the ice cream shop, Paige is hit with a wave of sugary air and the sound of chatter. It’s buzzing in here, bigger and more crowded than she expected, almost every table occupied, with kids laughing, parents corralling them. The line snakes almost to the door, and Paige glances down at Mia, who’s still clutching her hand tightly.

“Looks like this place is the best,” Paige observes, smiling down at the little girl. Mia beams back up at her, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

“Told you!” she chirps, voice triumphant.

Paige can’t help but laugh softly. She glances over at Jo, who’s scanning the menu above the counter. The sunlight streaming through the shop window catches on the stray wisps of Jo’s hair that escape from under her Red Sox cap. Paige tries not to let her eyes linger too long on the curve of Jo’s jawline or the way her tube top leaves the expanse of her collarbones and neck exposed.

Jesus Christ, she doesn’t know what’s wrong with herself today.

The line moves slowly, but Paige doesn’t mind. Mia fills the time with a steady stream of chatter, never letting go of the blonde. She tells her about her favorite ice cream flavor (superman), her least favorite vegetables (brussel sprouts), and their family dogs (a dachshund named Dory and a golden retriever named Murph).

Paige listens attentively, nodding and laughing at all the right moments. She’s used to this—her own siblings are just as chatty, and she’s always been good at humoring them. There’s something comforting about Mia’s unfiltered enthusiasm; it reminds Paige of home in a way that makes her chest ache just a little.

As they inch closer to the counter, the line passes by a display of candy shelves, and that’s when it happens. Mia freezes mid-sentence, her eyes locking into something with the kind of laser focus that only a kid ready for a sugar high can muster.

“Oh my gosh,” Mia breaths, pointing to a massive rainbow-swirled lollipop almost as big as her head. She finally removes her hand from Paige’s to start tugging at Jo, begging, “Joey, please, please, can I get it? Please?”

Paige blinks a little at the nickname. Joey. She’s never heard anyone call Jo that before—she thought the only one she had was the one she hates that the whole team’s started using for her (JoJo). But Paige thinks Joey’s cute. In fact, she files it away in the back of her mind.

“No. Definitely not,” Jo says immediately, shaking her head down at Mia.

Mia’s face scrunches up in exaggerated disbelief. “What? Why?”

Paige glances between them, finally seeing what Jo meant about Mia being a demon child. The girl’s dramatic flair is something else entirely.

Jo sighs heavily. “Because the last time we were here, Mom bought you one, and you threw it up on the way home. It was gross, Mia.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Mia whines, still eyeing the lollipop like it’s the holy grail.

“It was that bad,” Jo counters.

“But it tasted sooo good,” Mia insists, dragging out the words as she tugs at Jo’s arm again.

Jo raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Did it taste good when it came back up?”

Mia stops short, her small face scrunching up in thought. The gears are clearly turning in her head as she considers this. And just as suddenly as the argument started, Mia lets out a resigned sigh and steps away from the candy display.

“Fine,” she mumbles, sounding defeated.

Jo smiles to herself, clearly pleased, and Paige has to bite back a laugh at the entire sibling interaction.

“Nice save,” she says under her breath, leaning slightly toward Jo as they start moving forward in line again.

Jo glances at her, their faces closer than usual, though she doesn’t seem to notice. Her smile just widens as she responds, “You learn a few tricks when you’ve been stuck around her for eight years.”

Paige chuckles softly, watching Mia bound up to the counter like she’s on a mission, finally their turn to order. The little girl presses her hands against the glass case, scanning the vibrant tubs of ice cream with a dramatic level of intensity.

“I want Superman!” Mia declares, her voice brimming with excitement as she points at the swirled red, yellow, and blue ice cream.

“Please,” Jo adds, giving the employee a small, apologetic smile as she nudges Mia’s arm, giving her that older sister look that Paige can tell means—use your manners. The worker scoops a generous amount of the ice cream into a cup and hands it over the counter. Mia accepts it like it’s a trophy, her eyes and grin wide as ever.

“Can I just have a scoop of cotton candy, please?” Jo asks, her turn now, her voice casual like she’s not about to commit a culinary crime.

Paige can’t help but scrunch up her nose at the brunette’s order. Nasty. She doesn’t say anything—yet—but she stores the information away for later mockery. The worker hands Jo her cone, a garishly bright pink and blue swirl that makes Paige wince just looking at it.

When it’s Paige’s turn, she doesn’t even hesitate, ordering mint chip—her absolute favorite.

They pay quickly, before stepping outside into the warm air, each armed with their chosen flavor. Mia’s already half-covered in Superman ice cream and Jo has her head tilted slightly to avoid dripping the cotton candy monstrosity in her hand.

Paige glances at Jo’s cone and makes a face. “Cotton candy is crazy work,” she tells her, incredulous.

Jo raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “What’s wrong with cotton candy?”

“Everything,” Paige answers, gesturing at the cone like it’s personally offended her. “It’s basically sugar-flavored-sugar. It doesn’t even taste like real cotton candy. It’s just—” She shudders dramatically.

Jo narrows her eyes at Paige’s cone in retaliation. “Says the person eating frozen toothpaste.”

Paige gasps, her hand flying to her chest in mock indignation. “Excuse me, mint chip is a classic. It’s refreshing. It’s balanced. It’s—”

“Minty,” Jo interrupts, wrinkling her nose. “Which is gross.”

“It’s not gross! You’re gross,” Paige fires back, grinning despite herself.

Mia, who’s been watching the exchange with wide eyes, suddenly pipes up. “Okay, I’ll decide!” she declares. She scoops up some of her Superman ice cream for good measure before pointing her tiny spoon at Jo’s cone. “Joey, let me try yours first.”

Jo bends down slightly to hold out her cone, and Mia takes a small bite. She lets it melt in her mouth, her face scrunching up like she’s debating a complex equation. Finally, she nods. “It’s okay,” she says, though she doesn’t look thrilled.

Jo looks affronted. “Just okay?”

Mia shrugs nonchalantly before turning to Paige. “Now yours!”

Paige kneels slightly to hold out her cone. Mia eyes it suspiciously. “Why is it green?” she asks, sounding almost fearful.

“Don’t worry ‘bout the color,” Paige tells her, waving off the question. “It’s good. Trust.”

Mia hesitates for a second longer before scooping up a tiny bite. She puts it in her mouth, and her face goes still. For a moment, Paige wonders if she’s about to spit it out, but then Mia’s eyes light up.

“This. Is. So. Good!” the eight-year-old squeals, practically bouncing in place.

Paige grins, holding out her hand for a high five. “Told you. Welcome to the winning team.”

Mia smacks her hand enthusiastically, ice cream forgotten for a moment. Jo, however, is standing off to the side, arms crossed and pouting like a kid who just lost her favorite game. Paige glances at her and immediately starts laughing.

“Oh, don’t be mad,” she teases, nudging Jo’s arm.

“She’s supposed to be on my side!” Jo grumbles, glaring halfheartedly at Mia. “I’m your sister!”

Mia sticks her tongue out at her, clearly unbothered. “You’re just mad because you have bad taste.”

Paige nearly chokes on her ice cream, laughing so hard she has to steady herself against a bench they’re stood next to. “Dang, Mia!”

Jo shakes her head, though the corner of her mouth twitches upward in a reluctant smile. “You’re lucky you’re cute, you little menace,” she mumbles, ruffling Mia’s hair.

Mia slaps her hand away from her head, beginning to bicker with Jo. Paige watches, quiet now as she bites into her cone. She finds herself unable to look away, a strange warmth blooming in her chest.

See, whatever that is, has to go. She doesn’t like it, doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t understand it in the slightest.

It just—has to go.

THE LIVING ROOM feels cozy in a way that Paige hasn’t experienced in a long time. It’s not her home, not her couch, not her family, but something about it wraps around her, soft and warm. The overhead light is off, leaving the room bathed in the dim glow of the TV. Colors flicker against the walls, shapes shifting across the furniture. Paige doesn’t know what movie is playing—something animated, she thinks—but it’s barely background noise at this point.

Jo sits a few feet away, her back against the armrest of the couch, one leg stretched out, the other bent slightly. Mia’s curled up fast asleep in her lap, her little head tucked under Jo’s arm, one of Jo’s hands running lazily through the little girl’s hair. The motion is slow and deliberate, like second nature, and it’s strangely captivating. Paige finds herself staring, watching the way Jo’s fingers disappear into soft brown curls, touch gentle.

Paige hadn’t planned to stay this long. After Mia had declared mint chip her new favorite ice cream and told Paige she could officially call her Mimi—a nickname that only her absolute favorite people can use—they’d hung out all day, walking around the Commons, then shopping, then getting dinner. After that, they were meant to depart, Jo and Mia going home, and Paige going back to her hotel. But then Mia had looked up at her with those big, pleading eyes, practically begging Paige to come back and watch a movie with them. And Paige is terrible at saying no to kids.

So, she came home with them, to their house which sits right on the outline of the city. The house isn’t massive, but it’s nice—nice enough for Paige to have faintly wondered how much money Jo’s parents make. But it’s still welcoming and cozy, and Paige feels comfortable here. She also likes that she’s got to see all the photos around—the ones of Jo when she was little, some more recent ones that Paige can guess are apart of her senior photos, and a couple of her with her sisters.

The only one that she didn’t enjoy seeing was that one. A nicely framed picture of Jo and her boyfriend sitting on the shelf directly to Paige’s right. They look happy in it. Too happy, in Paige’s opinion, though she doesn’t know why it bothers her so much. Maybe she’s got some sort of jealousy deep down in the part of her heart where her commitment issues aren’t veined around, an envy toward a stable relationship like that. But either way, there’s no reason for her to care. And yet, she doesn’t like it.

Paige shakes the thought away, focusing instead on the conversation. She and Jo have been talking quietly since Mia fell asleep, their voices hushed but easy. It reminds Paige of late nights back at their shared apartment on campus, how they’ll end up in the kitchen at the same time and somehow talk for hours without meaning to. Paige likes those moments more than she’ll ever admit, and this feels no different.

Their conversation drifts, flowing naturally, until Jo starts talking about her sisters. “I admire them, you know,” she says softly, her hand still moving through Mia’s hair. “Payton, especially. She’s… well, she’s incredible. Mia thinks she walks on water, and honestly, sometimes I do, too.”

Paige tilts her head, curious. Jo’s voice has a different quality now—still soft, but there’s something else underneath it. Not sadness exactly, but something close. “What about you?” Paige asks. “You’re incredible, too. And Mia clearly adores you.”

Jo smiles, but—for once—it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, but it’s different. Payton’s a dancer—like, a real dancer. She’s in New York City, with the ballet there. And that’s what Mia loves. That’s what they both love. And, y’know, they connect over it. It’s dance; it’s their thing.”

Paige frowns, the words sinking in. Jo rarely talks like this. She’s always so happy, so upbeat, so wrapped in sunshine that Paige sometimes forgets there might be anything else underneath. “You don’t feel connected to them?” she asks, her voice a little quieter now.

Jo hesitates, her hand pausing in Mia’s hair for just a second before continuing. “Not really,” she admits. “I mean, I love them, obviously. But… it’s hard sometimes. I’ve always been the odd one out, you know? The one who plays basketball while they dance. Sometimes it just feels like we’re on completely different planets.”

Paige doesn’t know what to say at first. She’s surprised—stupidly so, maybe, because she’s never considered Jo might feel this way. But, if she thinks about it, it makes sense.

“I get that,” the blonde finally says, soft but steady. “I mean, I’m so much older than my siblings that it’s hard to connect with them sometimes, too. But… for what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing. And I know Mia does too—whether she says it or not.”

Jo looks over at her then, and for a moment, Paige thinks she might forget how to breathe. There’s something in Jo’s eyes, something raw and unguarded, and it makes Paige’s chest feel tight. “Thanks,” Jo says quietly, barely a whisper.

The moment feels too heavy, too close, and Paige decides to lighten the mood. “So,” she says, changing the subject, her small smile curling into more of a smirk. “Mia calls you Joey?”

Jo’s smile returns, softer this time but more genuine. “Yeah. My whole family does. It’s a much better nickname than that JoJo Siwa shit y’all have come up with.”

Paige laughs, shaking her head. “Don’t shit on the JoJo nickname. It’s iconic.”

Jo raises an eyebrow, her smile turning teasing. “Iconically bad,” she corrects.

“Okay, fine,” Paige says, pretending to think. “But I like Joey more, too. It’s cute. Maybe I’ll start calling you that instead.”

Jo shrugs, but her smile widens just a little. “Anything’s better than JoJo.”

Paige grins, leaning back into the couch, though—for whatever reason—her heart starts thumping a little faster. She doesn’t know why she feels the way she does around Jo sometimes—why moments like this stick with her longer than they probably should. But for now, she doesn’t let herself think about it too much. Instead, she lets herself enjoy the quiet, the warmth of the room, and the easy rhythm of their conversation.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Twelve Days: Part 5 **^

Here's the next part! Sorry it took so long 😭 But A LOT happens in this part and it might make y'all a little angry but I think the ending makes up for it!

Full Series Masterlist

WC: 10.5K

Warnings: Infidelity, mentions of slight germaphobia, mentions of unkept/untidy home life, fear of abandonment, sex (unprotected, penetrative), mentions of divorce.

It didn’t take as long as you had been expecting to hear back from Harry. Just another few days, you had just gotten into your car after a dinner service at a client’s home when his call came in. You were excited but feeling a bit nervous regarding the purpose of the call, it could be very casual but given the precarious situation you all found yourselves in, it could also be a call about things getting even more complicated. Regardless of what it was, you wanted to hear his voice.

“Hello?” You answered as you started to take off.

“Hi, how was your day?” He asked and you smiled.

“It was alright. And yours?” You asked.

“Busy. I had two lectures today, I’m just getting my things together before going home.” He shared.

“Okay. I am just heading home myself.” You shared.

“Good, I’m glad we get to accompany each other on our drives.” He said and you smiled.

“So how was it when you got back home?” You asked.

“We had a fight…she AirTag-ged my car.” He disclosed and your features twisted in concern.

“What?!”

“Right? Said she needed to confirm that I would go see you. I told her that I would’ve been honest about my plans if she asked.” Harry explained.

“It’s not like we did anything bad.”

“That’s what I told her. She seemed surprised for some reason.”

“Maybe because I’ve always been the more…liberated of the two.” You explained and he chuckled a bit and you smiled. “This would also disprove her theory that you’ve been spending time with me to make her jealous. I feel like that pisses her off more than anything.” You explained. “She’s always been first choice…” you said, “I get it though. She just puts herself out there more and whatnot, she’s easier to notice. I don’t mind that. I’m definitely more of a background girl, it’s where I thrive and feel comfortable so I’ve never competed her for it and I think she might…sense this…us as me trying to compete with her.” You explained.

“Well that’s shitty for me.”

“It is. And I promise you, I’m not trying to compete for you.” You assured him.

“I know, love. It just sucks thatshe is…” he said solemnly.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Don’t feel bad for me, love.” He hummed.

“I do because you don’t deserve it. No one does! I just hopes she…gets some clarity soon. This is getting so insane.” You sighed.

“I don’t want to…create a bigger divide but she’s being pretty harsh towards you. She thinks it’s stupid of me to invest all this time in you because according to her, you’re a flake.” He said and you pouted.

“A flake?” You asked for clarification, you were shocked.

“Yep…she’s just saying things at this point.”

“Yeah.” You hummed.

“Well, I’ve given her a month, in my head. To just get her ducks in a row, meet with the lawyer, figure out what she’s going to do…if she doesn’t, I’m going to talk to your parents and ask them to please…reason with her.” He shared and you hummed, “Do you think they would?” He asked you.

“I think so…they love you so much. My mom has always said you’re the son she never got to have.” You shared and he chuckled.

“Did she?”

“She did! Has actually said it on multiple occasions.” You reassured him.

“Well that does make me feel better.” He hummed.

“Good.” You grinned.

After getting that over with, it was just some light conversation about the good and bad parts of your days until he had arrived home. You were going to do some grocery shopping before getting back to your apartment but assured him you’d let him know when you’d made it home. 

Thankfully, Ash hadn’t shown up again. You half expected another visit and had been feeling on edge arriving at your apartment the last few days, but with each passing day you  tried to let the anxiety diminish. You were loving your quiet life alone so far. You also liked your apartment and were sad that you might have to move if he ever showed up again, but you just needed to not see him again. It was disrespectful really, his inability to honor your wishes after he had left you the way he had. You were feeling even more upset by Bea telling him where you had moved to. You let her know that what she had done was completely unacceptable and just blocked her on everything. You’d observed the way she always got a little more flirty when Ash was around but didn’t think it’d get to the point where she’d share your private information just to get on his good side. Especially when she knew you wanted nothing more to do with him. Hopefully, you’d seen the last of him so that you could actually focus on the dilemma at hand. Your sister. 

You were genuinely feeling really worried over what Julie’s next steps would be. You wanted to talk to her but she wasn’t answering your calls or responding to any of your texts just yet. Of course she had the right to be angry with you, but to think you were just using Harry for attention or to make her jealous? That wasn’t in your nature at all. To call you a flake? You were steadfast as can be, she knew this. You were raised the same. You were definitely hurt by her remarks, but you founds some solace in the knowledge that she was projecting her own insecurities about Joe onto you. This was the man who she had personally told you had some commitment issues! The man who undoubtedly made his way back into her life when he saw the seemingly perfect life she was leading with Harry via her social media, through the outlet she had used to allow him back into her life. 

You wanted to correct this narrative Julie had made up of you so badly because she ought to know you better than what she was choosing to believe of you. You had never had the type of sister relationship that made you best friends, like you’d mentioned to Harry, there’d always been an air of competition. Being just three years older than you, you’d coincided academically on a few occasions and you really didn’t start to “fight back” until high school. Naturally, you were a bit more likable because you were more laid back . You were great in your classes without imparting as much effort, which surprised your teachers. You soon learned that they expected you to be a little more of a wooer as she had been but when they learned you weren’t they eased up on you, the other students did too. Comparison was a killer and after one awful fight she told you that you had ruined her senior year. She had been cold towards you after that until she was off at college. And well, you decided not to go that route, you went to culinary school instead. And that gave her enough of the sense of superiority that she needed to have over you to placate her.

It had been a week after your conversation with Harry that you had your appointment with your therapist and had gotten to speak to her about what your sister had been saying and how you were feeling about it all. She had been supportive of you trying to go speak with her and so you had done just that. It was the end of her workday and though you felt like a stalker for being parked next to her car waiting for her…this was the only way you’d get anything from her. When you saw her approaching the car you hopped out of yours. As soon as she caught your gaze she noticeably became deflated. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked you and you offered a slightly nervous smile.

“Hi.” You greeted Julie. “I was just hoping we could go for dinner and talk?” You asked hopefully.

“About?” She asked cooly.

“What you saw.” You said and you saw her lips purse a bit as she gnawed the inside of her cheek pensively.

“I don’t know…I mean…I know what I saw, I don’t think we need to rehash it.” She stated as she crossed her arms.

“Well you’re still not talking to me so…”

“Because you kissed my husband!” She scowled.

“I know and I’m sorry-”

“No you’re not.” She cut you off.

“I’m not sorry for kissing him. I’m sorry that my actions upset you and angered you.” You clarified.

“So you’re sorry you got caught?” She asked.

“Not necessarily…I mean, I know that you actually don’t care that I kissed him. You don’t love him, so I know that it didn’t hurt you.” You said and she glanced away, “So I’m here to figure out what exactly you’re still so offended with me over.” You said and her gaze found yours again.

“You couldn’t have gone for anyone else?” She asked.

“I didn’t go for him, Julie! We were literally just talking about the things that we were dealing with. I mean, we’ve always had a good relationship as friends, you know that! But through these experiences we’ve been through we bonded on a new level. The attraction was just…there. It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t a plan of any sort! And the fact that you believe I would do something like that…” you said sadly, “I’m not calculating like that. You know that. And to be quite honest with you, I feel like…your anger actually has nothing to do with me. It’s just being directed at me and that makes me upset.” You said and her jaw clenched a bit. “Well…that’s all I wanted to say so…” you trailed off and she just nodded but said nothing else. 

After standing there in silence for a few seconds you just got into your car and left. You had done your part and now, the ball was in Julie’s court. You hoped that she would give what you’d said some honest thought and consideration. You had only been on the road for a few minutes when a call came in from Harry.

“Hey.” You greeted him.

“That was enthusiastic.” He chuckled sardonically and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sorry. I’m just heading home from ambushing my sister.” You informed.

“Ah…I take it didn’t go too well?” 

“Not really…” you confirmed. “She didn’t say much apart from the usual accusations of me interfering in your marriage.” You sighed. “I also presented to her the idea that maybe the things she’s been saying of me are actually her displacing her anger with her situation with Joe onto me. That one did upset her, I saw it in her eyes.” You elaborated.

“Yeah, she doesn’t love to be in the wrong…” Harry chuckled. 

“Yeah. And have you made any headway with her?”

“I don’t know…we’ll see tomorrow. She has an appointment with the lawyer. I’ve already asked mine what I can do if she refuses to sign.” 

“And what did the lawyer say?”

“I can petition through the court for them to serve her the divorce papers. If she does’t sign within a certain timeline then the judge can make a default ruling to dissolve the marriage. So there is a way to proceed if she doesn’t abide by my timeline. I just…I don’t want to put her through that humiliation because the only place I know where to find her apart from our house would be her job.”

“Yeah, that’s low…” you agreed. “I mean, you can AirTag her…” you chuckled and he laughed.

“I could…that low has been reached.” He hummed in amusement. “We also have to get a court date if I go that route and who knows how long that would take.”

“Yeah…let’s just hope she does the right thing and comes around.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “I’d like to see you again soon.” He said after a beat of silence.

“I’d like to see you too.” You hummed.

“Been seeing those videos of the couples painting each other…” Harry shared and you giggled.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Yeah! I think it’d be fun, don’t you?” He asked and you giggled some more.

“Yeah, I think so too!”

“And I can cook for you this time.”

“Love that.” You hummed.

“And we can ask each other all the questions we have for each other over dinner and the painting.” He added to his suggestion.

“Yeah! That sounds like such a fun evening!” You agreed excitedly.

“Good! So let me know when you’ll have at least two days in a row off so that we can also have a little extra time the day after.”

“Okay, I’ll check my work calendar when I get home.”

“Perfect.” Harry smiled. “How are you holding up? Did Ash show up again?”

“I’m alright, still feeling a little…annoyed, I guess. But no, he didn’t come back.” You shared.

“Would you want him to come back? I mean, just so you can clear the air?”

“The more I give it some thought, not really. He’s said what he wanted to say…that he made a mistake, that he loves me and wants me back…” you said with a sarcastic, sing-song-y cadence. 

“Do you want to say anything to him?”

“Just how much he hurt me but if anything, that gives him more power over me and I’d hate that.” You confessed.

“I’d hate that for you too. But if you need that for your closure then it might be worth thinking over before completely disregarding it.” Harry advised, as much as he really did hate the thought of you giving Ash another morsel of your time and attention. He wasn’t jealous, more protective than anything. You were still a shell of yourself and he hated that Ash had done that to you. 

“Maybe you’re right…but I mean, just saying it out loud is enough for now.” You said, “Thank you for…making me feel comfortable and safe enough to be able to say it.” You thanked him.

“Of course, love.” Harry replied. 

Harry was happy that he could make you feel safe and looked after. But he also wanted that same reassurance from you. He understood why you weren’t leaning into that 

and into your feelings for him just yet though. You had every right to feel wary about what you two had going, especially with the stance Julie had taken. But that also meant that right now he had no one to really talk about his heavier and darker feelings. He knew for a fact that if he communicated that to you, you’d be there for him but he also didn’t want to overburden you while you yourself were struggling.

“And what about you? I know that maybe your feelings for Julie are not what they used to be but…it also can’t be easy for you.” You said and he bit his lip as he gave some thought to what he wanted to say.

“You’re right about that…It hasn’t been easy. I mean, because of my family and all, it’s created this…fear of being left behind.” He explained. “That weekend that I went to see you?”

“Mhmm?”

“She didn’t come home until Monday afternoon and when I got in she’d left her suitcase by the garage door and I was just filled with dread that she was leaving without saying anything to me.” He explained. “It felt…confusing…because, while I know that the love isn’t there anymore I still…invested a lot in her. In our home…”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“And again, it was just that fear of not having a family again. That after everything I did to build a happy home life for myself, I’d still end up…alone.” He disclosed. After a few seconds of quiet he cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

“Don’t be. I was just…processing, empathizing…” you said and he hummed, “If anything, I’d like you to say all of this to me as it comes. You’re always here for me. I want to be here for you too.”

“I want to tell you more but I don’t want to put more on your plate.” He explained.

“I appreciate that but I am feeling better…mentally.”

“Yeah? Since when?”

“Since…you.” You said and Harry smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Honest. It’s nice to have a friend and someone to care for with reciprocity.” 

“It is. And for the record, I know that you’ll always be in my life. But a part of me is also scared that we won’t be able to have more down the line. Like, what if that gets ruined?”

“So my same fear?” You asked and he hummed.

“Guess so.” He confirmed.

“Well, there’ll always be space for you in my life. I mean that. I feel good when I’m with you and I can only imagine that it’ll only get better if we…are more.” You said timidly.

“I think so too.” Harry hummed and you smiled. “I understand that we both have things to heal from though and that it might take some time to get anywhere near where we might want to get eventually…” he trailed off and chuckled, “I don’t know if maybe I’m getting ahead of myself but I really like you and I like that I can fully be myself around you.” He explained.

You could feel your heart pounding so hard at what he was saying. You could feeling a warmth growing inside of you and spreading all throughout your body. This crush you had on him had you so affected. To hear him saying this was more of a relief than a cause for anxiety. You hadn’t allowed yourself to think that far out of fear that maybe it was intense for now but would fizzle out at some point down the line. But to hear him say that he wanted to give you two an honest shot when things got better, it made you feel a little less delusional. You loved his vulnerability with you. You could also be yourself around him in a way that was so pure. You knew he wouldn’t judge or make you feel bad for it. There was a baseline safety with him that helped your closeness grow quickly. 

“Ummm…sorry. D-did I lose you?” He asked nervously and you shook your head quickly. 

“Oh my god, no sorry! I was just…so happy to hear you say that.” You giggled.

“Thank god…” he chuckled in relief.

“So sorry.” You laughed through an apology again and he joined you as well. 

“Ummm…a-are you far from Santa Barbara?” He asked and you bit your lip.

“Like…almost 30 minutes?”

“Hmmm…do you work tomorrow?” 

“I actually don’t…” you shared.

“Can I come see you?” He asked.

“Now?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled, “If you don’t mind the company, it’s gonna be a long weekend. I won’t have class until next Wednesday.”

“You want to spend a whole ass week with me?”

“Yeah. If you’ll have me.” He hummed.

“What about Julie? I don’t want to instigate any bigger issues.”

“She hasn’t really been staying at the house since she returned from her weekend getaway.” Harry shared, “So…I think she’ll be fine.”

“Well then, I’d love to have you over.” You confirmed happily.

“Great! I’m just getting home so I’m gonna get showered, pack, and head over to you.”

“Perfect! See you soon!” You chirped, not even bothering to minimize your excitement. 

“Alright, I’ll be seeing you soon.” Harry chuckled.

 ***********

It was nearing 8pm when Harry was calling to tell you he was outside of your building. You hurried down with your visitor’s badge to ensure his car was safe while parked there and soon enough you were heading back up to the warmth of your apartment.

“Have you eaten?” You asked him as he followed you in.

“Not yet. Do you want to order in?” 

“We can but I’m not too hungry to be honest.” You explained.

“Has that been constant lately?” He asked as he set his luggage against your couch and his tote down on the couch.

“No, it’s actually been better. But I’m just…coming off my anxious wave after I ambushed Julie. I feel like it was alright but maybe I’ve made things worse.” You explained your concern as he came up to you and grabbed your hands.

“I get the anxiety but I must say that I’m proud of you for making an effort. And well, you know your sister, and whatever she does with what you said is out of your hands now, love. So try not to be too worried about it.” He advised you and you exhaled and nodded. “I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but you’ve said what you needed to and done your part, yeah?” He asked you and you nodded. “That’s all there is to it.” He said with an encouraging smile.

“I know…” you sighed and glanced down as his hands ran up your arms and rubbed over your shoulders soothingly a few times.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You asked as you turned your gaze back to him.

“I’m really proud of you for doing that. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“Thank you.” You whispered happily.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked next and you smirked a bit.

“Of course.” You hummed as one of his hands grabbed your chin gently and angled you up, “Kiss me whenever you want.” You said softly and he smiled.

“I don’t think you know what you’re unleashing…” he responded and you giggled.

“Show me then.” You smirked and he leaned in the rest of the way until your lips were meeting.

You loved to kiss Harry and thought of it often when you’d get lost in your day dreams. The shape of his lips fit so nicely against yours. The pressure of them pressing to your own, the eagerness and need that you could feel flooding the atmosphere between the two of you was addicting. If only he knew how much you were affected by this. Your mouth parted easily to let him in as his tongue swiped against your bottom lip. He moaned in relief in perfect unison with you when his tongue smoothed against yours. He had been longing for your taste as much as you had been longing for his. You grabbed his hands and guided them around your waist and he was quick to hug around you, pulling you even closer to his body as your kiss deepened. It was so easy to get lost in the moment with Harry. You were not sitting on your counter with him standing between your legs as you made out. His hands were up your shirt and yours were feeling over his biceps. You hadn’t ever been with someone as muscular as he was. He didn’t even have to flex for you to feel how strong and built he was. 

You were suddenly startled apart by your phone ringing loudly across the counter indicating that it was time for you to begin your “no screen” time. It was easy to find yourself doom scrolling, especially when you struggled to sleep, so you’d made the resolution to cut down your screen time starting at 8pm each night.

“Can you grab it for me?” You asked Harry, your lips smearing into his as you asked your question and he nodded.

“Sure.” He responded and slid his hands from beneath your shirt and walked around the counter to grab your phone before bringing it back to you.

“Sorry, I’m trying to stop using my phone by 8pm each night.” You explained as you stopped the alarm and proceeded to turn on “Do Not Disturb” mode for the night.

“Smart!” He said as his hands landed on your thighs.

“It’s hard but research says cutting off screen time before bed helps.”

“Well, that’s true.” He assured you and you smiled. “And it’s 8 already? I should order something in.” He said before stuffing his hand down his back pocket and pulling out his phone. “Are you hungry now?” He asked you with a smirk.

“Yeah, more now.” You chuckled.

“Hungry for anything in particular?”

“Tacos?” You suggested.

“Ooh, perfect! What’s good in your area?” He asked and soon you had selected a little mom and pop, hole in the way a couple miles away that had never failed you before. 

After placing the order you suggested Harry get into something more comfortable and then get settled in.

“Sorry, I don’t have any space for your toiletries.” You mumbled, “But you’re more than welcome to put your clothes in a drawer! The one of the top right should be empty.” 

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind the bag staying up here. If not I’ll just keep it in my soot case.” He said with the Baron Trump meme accent. You looked to him and burst into laughter at this.

“I’m dead! I love that video!” You cackled.

“It’s funny!” He laughed along, “One of my students showed it to me…s’been stuck in my head ever since.” He explained with a smile.

“It is a gem…well, I don’t mind you having your things out for easier access!” You assured him.

“I’m tidy. I promise.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes playfully. “Tell me what your pet peeves are in a shared space, so that I can avoid them.” Harry requested.

“Ummm…just don’t be gross. Ash used to do this ridiculous thing where he’d leave his dirty laundry beside the hamper…” You recalled and Harry chuckled, “That pissed me off. Like it’s right there!” You expressed.

“Yeah, that’s stupid.” He chuckled.

“Or leave his towel on the ground, like he was in a fucking hotel.”

“Oh god…” Harry grimaced, “The smell…”

“Yeah! Mildewy and ugh…thinking of it is giving me the ick.” You frowned. “One time he did not unpack it from the gym and-”

“I know where it’s going, you don’t need to tell me.” He said and you giggled.

“I discovered it, so I have to tell you.”

“Fine. Go on.”

“It grew mold. The whole bag! And who discovered it in the garage?”

“Not Ash!”

“Exactly! And it was so humid that week…God, that was horrifying. Then he had the gall to be pissed at me for throwing away his Alo gym bag…ridiculous.” You huffed.

“If he cared so much about it why did he leave it in that state? What a prick.” He said and you nodded in agreement.

“Exactly what I said…he probably left it in his trunk, encountered the smell and just left it in the garage for me to find and wash.” you rolled your eyes. “And like, he wasn’t like nasty apart from those things. Like, you could tell his mom would do those things for him and his brothers.” You explained and he nodded. “What about you?” You asked.

“Ummm… well growing up my house was very neat until my mom met that prick of a man and then it was pretty unkept. I did a lot of the cleaning up so uh…I guess just clutter and dishes in the sink. That invites ants and cockroaches, which I detest. And well, one time I was going to treat myself to some biscuits and was met with a mouse in the packet so uh… yeah, I’m a little bit of a clean freak.” He explained. You could see that when he talked about these things he got a distant look in his eyes. Like he had to remind himself that, that wasn’t his life anymore. “Also, no eating in bed.” He added, “Because that is literally inviting bugs.” He explained and you nodded.

“Noted. Though I must admit, I have eaten in bed…specially when I’ve gotten sick and no one’s around to look after me.”

“Well you’ve got me now so…no need for that.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah.” You hummed. “But being in the valley, there are just critters around so it is important to keep things extra clean. I haven’t had any encounters, thankfully! I’m very averse to them.” You explained.

“Yeah, they’re gross.” He agreed.

“Anything else?” You asked.

“Oh! Getting on the bed in outside clothes.”

“Okay, yes!” You agreed, “There are “safe” spaces for me though, I don’t know about you? But like if I visit my parents or friends that don’t have pets, I wouldn’t mind a quick sit on my bed, not gonna roll around in it either…” you said and he chuckled, “But that’s not as gross as if I had gone out to a restaurant or the movies, for example.”

“Well, wouldn’t your car seats have all the germs from everywhere else? So when you sit in the car that gets on your clothes, even if you were in a safe space…” you pouted after he explained.

“Oh god…we could be laying in filth right now…” you said with feigned concern.

“When did you last wash your comforter?” He asked, you knew he was trying to come off pretend-horrified but his eyes said otherwise.

“I’m messing with you! Literally over the weekend. I promise!” You laughed as he looked at you skeptically.

“Pinky promise?”

“Yeah!” You said as you extended your pinky out to him and he wrapped his around yours.

“If I get pink eye, we know what happened here.” He joked and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics as he sniggered. He then interlaced his fingers with yours and just held your hand in his. You could see that there was a lot going on in his mind and you wanted to help however you could.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” You asked him tentatively.

“Tons! But ummm…time and place.” He said as he glanced down at your hands. You squeezed his hand and he glanced up at you.

“Tell me.” You insisted and he sighed.

“Just that…when your sister leaves, for good, I was thinking about how long I’d have to be alone in that house. Like…I saved up a lot for that with the hopes of having a life and a family there, you know?” You nodded in understanding. “I don’t know if I could be there as comfortably if I were alone. I’d hate to sell it but…what would be the point in keeping it?” He asked and you hummed. “And you really don’t have to say anything about it, I just…am a little nervous to be all alone again. And like, I know that I wouldn’t be totally alone, but in a way I haven’t been in a decade you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“Like things would be missing that have been there since we moved in together…half of the things would be gone…and well, I couldn’t very well ask or expect you to be able to visit as often as I’d probably like…” he added. 

“I get it. It’s scary.” You said and he nodded.

“How’d you do it?” He asked and you smiled.

“Well, I’m in the middle of that and well, I am depressed!” You chuckled and he smiled, “So…still learning how to cope, I guess. This, with us? It’s helped. I don’t feel so alone anymore.” You explained.

“Good.” He hummed. 

“Yeah, so if you… need me to go out there and hang out you can ask. Whatever the reason in your brain is that’s holding you back from asking me for reciprocity? It’s wrong. If being there and enjoying the home you worked so hard for is important to you, then it’s important to me too.” You assured him with a sincerity that he hadn’t seen from anyone in years and you saw his lips turn up a bit.

Harry just felt this sudden rush of warmth overcome him. He definitely wanted you over more, he just felt a little bad about it right now while things were still up in the air. He wanted to live there forever, he hadn’t committed to buying a home thinking that he would one day grow sick of it. It was heaven on earth to him. He could step out onto his balcony and see the ocean from it! Of course he had made compromises along the way to accommodate Julie like in decor, in paints, upgrades…but he still loved the house. And to know that you’d be willing to make the drive out and spend time with him there simply because he loved it and was comfortable there, well, that was almost more than he could ever ask for. So he was really glad that you had offered it.

“I’d actually really like that.” He finally said and you smiled.

“Okay. Then we’ll make it happen.” You assured him and he smiled and let go of your hand but only because he was pressing himself up to kiss you again. And as your new normal seemed to be, you got lost in it until the delivery person’s call was interrupting you.

You had initially been concerned that maybe you’d pushed him too far or said too much but by the way he was acting now, it seems you had said the correct thing. Harry was a protector, he always had been that way. He was very concerned for your sister, for you, your family… it was never in a way that made you feel incapable, but he just liked to show you all that he would take care of you all if shit hit the fan. You knew that it had been hard for him not to be able to do that for you in the last year, even when he was going through his own stuff. So now, you wanted to allow him to make up for lost time and as you had said, you wanted to reciprocate the way he made you feel and were glad that he felt like you were.

“M’afraid you’re not gonna get a turn, love…” Harry practically slurred with his cheek smushed up against your stomach. You were currently laid on the couch, longways of course, and had put on “Miss Congeniality”. But you had agreed to give each other massages. However, Harry had elected for you to massage his head and it was putting him to sleep.

You giggled, but kept on going. “S’alright.” You responded softly. You could feel him growing heavier against you. “Maybe we should move to the bed though. Don’t want you to have a rough night.” You explained.

“In a minute.” He mumbled.

“Okay.” You agreed. 

Soon enough you’d made it to your bed and as soon as you got under the covers he was reaching for you and pulling you against him. You smiled as you snuggled in against him. You felt him kiss your shoulder before he exhaled and you knew it would be so easy to fall asleep tonight.

*************

When you woke up the next morning it wasn’t because of your alarm, it was just a force of habit. But you were shivering from the cold and were pleased that it was apparently raining. You could heard the soft patter against your bedroom window. And then, you heard Harry humming along to John Mayer just a few feet away in the kitchen. Despite wanting to stay tucked away in the warmth of your bed, you got up and hurried into the bathroom to relieve yourself and freshen up a little bit. When you emerged, Harry was back in bed, topless and smiling at you.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.” You smiled.

“You were snoring.”

“I was not…” you mumbled bashfully as you headed back over to the bed.

“You were! But not like, loud or scary, it was just soft.” He described with a grin. “It was cute! Like a cartoon.” He assured you and you rolled your eyes as you got back in bed. “I just put on some coffee.”

“Thanks.” You hummed as you turned on your side to face him.

“Course.”

“Now, c’mere, please. It’s cold.” You requested and he smiled and hurried over into your side. 

“What do you wanna do today?” He asked.

“Be lazy.” You said and he chuckled. “I do have a client to cook for tomorrow, s’just dinner prep, so I should be back around 6-6:30 the latest.” 

“Would you be up to doing something after?” He asked.

“Yeah!” You hummed.

“Something lowkey, yeah?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You confirmed.

“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna kiss you.” He mumbled.

He moved closer and leaned in until your lips were meeting slowly but still eager and saturated with passion. Your hand landed on his chest and slid over his shoulder, tugging him into you, inviting him to settle over you. Your legs tangled momentarily as he started to straddle you. He was holding your jaw as your kiss deepened even further. His hands were sliding up your body, dragging your top up as he went. You sat up to help him pull it off and as soon as he was able, he was back on you, his lips littering your chest in kisses and delicate but playful nicks to your breasts. Your fingers combed through his hair, relishing in the sensations he was giving you. You were absolutely desperate for him and your skin was tingling, you were desperate to feel the warmth of his hands over your arms. You wanted to kiss him again and so you tried to tug him up and he quickly got the hint and kissed up your chest, neck, and jaw before kissing you sloppily. You ground up against him to feel the bulge in his thin pajama pants against you. He grinned and ground down against you with more intent. 

“Is that what you want?” He asked and you blinked up at him.

“More.” You whispered and his gaze softened.

“You sure?” He asked you and you nodded.

“Yes. Please.” You beseeched and Harry smiled before kissing you once more. In moments, he was helping you undress. You were both moving impatiently and albeit a little clumsily, but you were absolutely desperate for each other. And as his naked body hovered over yours you finally felt a little bit better. Relieved. “Please get inside me.”

“Okay.” He hummed and kissed your lips once more, “Didn’t think to bring condoms. D-do you have some?” He asked and you huffed.

“No.” You muttered in slight irritation. You hadn’t planned to ask him to have sex with you, if you had, you would have stocked up, just in case.

“Would you care if we didn’t use one?” He asked and you bit your lip pensively. “Obviously, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. And well, I can go buy some really quick and give you some time t-to really think about if you really want to do this. You know, in case you maybe have s-some doubt?” He asked.

“I don’t have any doubts.” You assured him with a smile, “D-do you?” You asked and he shook his head, his little smirk mirroring your own. 

“No. I can go get the condoms.” He said again and you bit your lip for a second.

“Ummm…that’s alright.” You assured him and as happy as he was to hear you say that, he gave it a few seconds to let you change your mind.

“Sure?” He asked again and you nodded.

“I’m so fucking sure.” You whispered through a nervous chuckle and he smiled and kissed you again.

“I’ll be mindful to pull out, okay?” He mumbled into your lips.

“Yeah.” You agreed as you raised your leg over his hips to give him space to get inside of you. You could feel the heat and weight of his cock pressed up against you. “I want you so bad.” You whispered.

“I do too, baby.” He hummed as he ground down, letting his cock settle between the sticky and swollen folds of your pussy. You shivered when his tip kissed at your clit with his soft thrusts. “Right there?” He asked and you nodded frantically.

“Yeah, that feels good.” You confirmed breathily and he smiled as his eyes bore into yours.

“Go on then, get what you need.” He hummed lowly and you wasted no time in grinding along with him at your desired pace. You whined lowly as you started to feel the pleasure escalating from the friction. Just when you were getting close you stopped yourself.

“Want to stop?” He asked you, looking into your eyes to ensure everything was okay.

“No, but I don’t want to come like that.” You explained a bit bashfully. 

“Oh…I see.” He hummed with a smirk on his face that made you blush. “Get me inside then.” You smiled and reached down between your bodies. You grabbed a hold of his cock, he was so fucking hard. You raised your hips a bit as you guided him down to your entrance and when you felt that slight dip you rubbed him over your slit a few times. Your eyes flickered up to his only to see his brows furrowed together at the feeling of being just on the edge of slipping inside of you.

“Do it.” You whispered and he let his weight drop down to his hips and just like that he was being swallowed up by your hot and wet muscle. The two of you moaned in unison when he sunk in all the way and collided with your back wall. He held inside for a few second before groaning as he drew back and sunk in again. You exhaled shakily and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. “Harder.” You said and he nodded before fucking into you with more force and that was absolutely what you were after. You moaned in relief and he kissed you deeply again.

“Good?” He asked.

“Yeah, it feels so good!” You whined and he hummed in satisfaction.

You were already so close, but you wanted to be closer, as close as was physically possible. You wanted to feel overwhelmed by him in the best way possible. And when he delivered his next thrust harder than before you couldn’t help the moan that fell from your mouth. Harry groaned and went again and again, relishing in the satisfied, little grunts you were making. You were absolutely drenching his cock but you couldn’t help it because he was thrusting up against the most sensational spot inside of you. It was almost too deep for you but you welcomed the feeling, you wanted to feel the ache after he was gone in a few days. And it’s almost like he could read your mind as he thrust in and held himself inside of you, grinding into you, watching as your eyes squeezed shut and you shuddered at the sensation of him fucking you that deep.

“Fuck y’feel so good!” You whimpered as you squeezed your legs around his hips and he grinned as he watched your brows pinching together.

“Not as good as you feel, baby.” He hummed lowly, “So fucking wet and hot…” he grumbled, “Shit…gonna need you so fucking badly. All the time. Gonna be dreaming of how nice it feels.” He muttered against the column of your throat. 

You were completely covered in goosebumps, you were trying to stop your legs from trembling but you wouldn’t be able to hold that off for much longer. It just felt too fucking good…he was hitting a part inside of you that even had your clit tingling, if you rubbed on it, it would truly be too much. As badly as you wanted and needed to come, you wanted him to keep fucking you. For him to be your first fuck after all this time, it was well worth it. You could hear the wet squelches of your arousal slicking up his cock and helping him fit inside of you. His girth and length were to die for and absolutely addictive.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” you warned him and he grinned down at you, very pleased with himself for how fucked out he had you already.

“Already?” He gloated slightly and you smiled and nodded. Your vision was even blurry at this point as tears of ecstasy and joy welled up in your eyes. “You’re already so fucking gone f’me, S’gonna wipe you out.” He said smugly and you hummed with a slight smile.

He was right, this orgasm would absolutely ruin you and melt your brain. He was literally fucking you better, quite literally forcing your brain to flood your body with that deliciously and slightly terrifying cocktail of oxytocin and dopamine. You swore your skin was tingling, every single cell in your body was going to contribute to this orgasm. But the longer you held off the more intense everything felt. Your walls were throbbing uncontrollably and you were trying so hard to just hold off for a second to make it last longer but it made it worse, as you squeezed the deep plunges of his cock became even more pleasurable and your legs started to tremble and your breathing to shallow.

“Come on, baby. Give it t’me.” He encouraged you and you nodded before pulling him down to kiss you and as your lips met urgently in a messy kiss you started to come. You emitted these pathetic whines and whimpers you’d never ever made before as the ecstasy took over every single part of your body. You were trying not too make too much noise but you were on fire and it had never felt like that before, it was almost too much! Harry’s lips parted from yours so that you could breathe and properly release your sounds as your hips ground up into his to keep the pleasure going. One of your hands pressed down on his butt, holding him close to you and the other was tangled in the curls at the back of his head. He groaned as you squeezed hard around his cock. Your tight, hot muscles were suffocating and contracting around his girth, he nearly fucking drooled from how delicious it felt to be buried in you like this. “M’gonna come.” He panted.

“Come inside of me.” You slurred and he moaned at the mere idea of getting to flood your hot, little pussy with his sperm. He got goosebumps as he thought about how good it would feel to have you take it all. To pull out and see it dripping from your swollen and wrecked little hole only for him to push his cock back into you and get his load back into you. “Please, come in my pussy.” 

“Fuck, baby…” he chuckled as he pressed his forehead to yours, “I’m gonna come so hard.” He panted, “Gonna drown your little pussy.” He mumbled as his abs started to clench and his toes to curl. And moments later he was grunting through three hard and pointed thrusts before stilling. He pressed right up against you and moaned deeply in satisfaction as he came undone. He felt his muscles spasming, struggling to hold his weight as he started to gush inside of you. You could feel the dramatic twitches of his cock lodged up deep inside of you as he filled you up, just as he promised and it was so good, his hips were moving by his own accord at this point and he was enslaved to the feeling of being inside of you, no matter how sensitive it was starting to feel for him. “Fuck…” he panted lowly. 

You could feel his arms trembling and just hugged him tight, encouraging him to drop his weight over you and he did easily. Your fingers danced and tickled over the heated and slightly damp skin of his back as he came down from it. You were finding comfort in his deep inhales as he continued trying to catch his breath. After a few more moments of this he was still completely silent. You knew there was nothing wrong because he was practically melted against your body, and you smiled and kissed the top of his head as he started to sponged a few sloppy kisses along your jaw. With the little strength he had built up again, he pulled you both onto your sides. He slipped from you with the change in position but you draped your leg over his hip and his hand immediately ran up your leg soothingly while he rested his head over his other arm. You were smiling as you just watched him, he still had his eyes closed as he regulated his breathing.

“You alright there?” You inquired, your voice was a whisper but he could hear the slight hint of smugness in it.

“Just a little light headed.” He chuckled his confession and you giggled and reached for his face. You caressed the side of his face lovingly with the backs of your fingers.

“Want me t’get you some water?” You asked.

“No, stay here with me.” He responded and you smiled.

“‘Kay.” You whispered. You just watched him for a few seconds until he slowly blinked his eyes open. You smiled as he squinted a bit.

“Jesus, I’m seeing spots.” He laughed lowly through his admission and you started to giggle along with him. “Don’t laugh at me.” He griped and you leaned forward and smooched over his pouted lips.

“M’not. I’m laughing with you.” You mumbled against his mouth and he quickly kissed your lips back.

“Sure…” he hummed and finally opened his eyes and met your adoring gaze.

“We’re going again later, right?” You asked and he laughed for a moment before kissing you again and nodding.

“Oh absolutely. I might not be able to walk but it’ll be worth it.” He mumbled into your kiss-swollen lips.

“God…but good.” You giggled, completely satisfied with his response.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” He whispered and you glanced away bashfully and instead focused on the swallow tattooed over his left pectoral.

“Neither do I.” You admitted and he smiled as you leaned closer and buried your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep inhale before placing a kiss at the base of his throat. 

There was only one thought at the forefront of his mind right now and it was that there was absolutely no world in which this didn’t end with him falling absolutely and hopelessly in love with you. He loved everything about you and what he’d seen of your life so far, he couldn’t wait to experience it for the rest of the days he’d be here with you.

Several Days Later…

You didn’t want to verbalize just how perfect the last several days had been with Harry in case you were to jinx it, but you were certainly thinking about it with each passing minute. You had clients that day so you had to leave Harry at your place for but it was  so lovely to return to a clean home and a meal. As soon as you walked in you could smell the lingering fresh scent of cleaning products but were mostly overpowered by what you were kind of hoping was a bolognese sauce. Thankfully, you were able to make off from your last client with a little extra dessert, so you had something to contribute for tonight.

“Smell’s amazing!” You announced your arrival as you slipped out of your shoes. 

Harry didn’t respond so you figured he was in the shower or something. And as you walked further in you saw that the table was set and two long stick candles were lit, giving the setting a more intimate feel. You bit your lip to hold back your excitement. It was your last night together, so you weren’t surprised that Harry was pulling out all the stops until the next time you got to be together. You headed towards your bedroom to change into a fresh and more comfortable outfit and when you stepped inside you saw Harry just standing at the window and glancing out towards the busy street below.

“Harry?” You called in question and he sniffled and turned around. 

“Sorry, I was trying to collect myself-”

“What happened? What’s wrong?” You asked quickly as you let your purse drop to the floor and rushed over to him.

“Your mom called,” he said and you immediately though the worst, your heart dropped, “Julie told them that she’s pregnant.” He said and you stopped right before you reached him. Not as terrifying as you thought but still incredibly fucking awful. Your features furrowed in disappointment and your stomach turned as the information processed. Harry hurried over to you, “Baby, it’s not me. It couldn’t be, we haven’t slept together since like August!” He explained and you nodded and let him take your hands. “But they don’t know that.”

“Ask for a paternity test.” You said right away.

“I will.” He assured you. “I guess she said she wasn’t feeling well so your mom drove her to the urgent care and they found out. Your mom called me all excited about it… I just don’t want to humiliate her.” He explained.

“And that’s very noble and considerate of you, Harry. But you do realize that she’s trying to put you in an impossible position.” You said and he frowned. “You deserve to do this. To have a family on your own terms. With someone who loves you. This isn’t on you, Harry. You know why she asked mom to go with her.” You said and he nodded.

“I-I don’t even know what to do about this.” He stammered, still in shock.

“This is going to sound awful but…tell your lawyer.” You said and he sighed. “She’s willing to force you into this situation when you had nothing to do with it. If she has to prove paternity she will have to be honest. She loves Joey and she did this with him, they need to figure this out together.”

“You’re right.” He conceded. “Ummm… I’m not feeling too hungry any more. I’m sorry.” He said and glanced down at the floor.

“That’s alright. I understand.” You assured him. “I also understand if you…need some space.” You said and he glanced into your eyes again.

“Yeah… I ummm…I should go.” He said and you nodded, “They’re expecting me to look after her since she isn’t feeling well. And the drive’ll help, I think.” He muttered, but he was quite absent.

“Okay.” You said softly and he just walked around you and into your closet to grab his suitcase. You just watched silently as he robotically and haphazardly just dumped his things into the luggage before shutting it and wheeling it out. You followed after him as he headed to the entrance and slipped into his sneakers. 

“Harry.” You said and he glanced up at you. You could see his eyes welled up with tears. “Please be safe.” You said and he nodded before rushing out. As soon as the door shut your own tears started to trickle down your face. 

You were relieved when he texted you that he’d gotten home and assured him that if he needed to talk at all that you’d be there for him. But you felt so angry at your sister for this one. How could she do this to him? It was awful and selfish behavior. You wanted to call her but this wasn’t your battle to fight.

Harry’s POV:

Harry felt completely blindsided by Isabel’s phone call about Julie. He felt sick to his stomach as he parked in the garage because Isabel was still at their house, her car was up front and he had no idea how he would swallow down all that devastation and dread he was feeling. He didn’t want to ruin Isabel’s excitement but pretending that he was happy about this…having to hold and kiss Julie, congratulate her for something he had nothing to do with, it made him sick to his stomach. He texted you to let you know that he’d made it safely and you immediately loved his message and with that he made it inside. 

“Oh good! You’re home!” Isabel greeted him excitedly as soon as Harry made it inside from the garage. He put on a smile and nodded, approaching her to greet her. 

“Yeah, sorry it took me a while. I was out in LA.” He explained.

“No problem, as long as you made it safe!” She said as she opened her arms and he ducked down a bit to hug her and kiss her cheek. “Congrats, mijo.” She hummed happily as she gave him a firm squeeze.

“Thank you.” He responded as they pulled away slowly.

“I’m just making her some ginger tea, she’s been very nauseous.” Isabel explained.

“Thank you, I’m gonna go see her now.”

“Yes, please!” She insisted, beaming from ear to ear and he smiled and made his way out of the kitchen. 

Every step he took up towards the bedroom made him even more sick to his stomach. He hoped there was extra of that ginger tea because this was getting to be too much. When he made it to the top landing he saw the bedroom door open and he made his way over to see Julie scrolling through her phone. 

“Hey.” She greeted him solemnly.

“Hi.” He said quite cooly.

“Look-”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He cut her off and she frowned.

“Not while my mom is here, Harry.” She sighed.

“No. We’re doing this right now.” He insisted as he pushed the door back leaving it slightly ajar.

“Then close it all the way.” She said.

“Then we won’t hear her coming. I won’t raise my voice if you don’t.” He said and she sighed. “There is no way you didn’t know.” He insisted, “When did you find out?” 

“On Monday.” She said, “I missed my period last week and I took two tests on Monday. One positive and the other inconclusive. Sometimes it can be stress or other things that impact so I figured I should go and find out.”

“And you had to take your mom to do that?”

“I was scared!” She defended herself.

“Then you should’ve asked Joe.” He retorted.

“I didn’t want him to freak out!”

“But you’re okay with your mom thinking that I got you pregnant?!” He asked angrily and her eyes started welling up. “You have to tell your parents now, Julie.” He said.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!”

“And what if he leaves me?” She asked and Harry’s eyes softened for a moment.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!” He was trying not to raise his voice but he was so hurt and angry at her. “You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry finished and she started to sniffle as her tears fell. “You have to tell your family the truth!” He urged.

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?”

“If you had agreed to the divorce when I brought it up not as much as it might be now! If you don’t come clean to your parents about this I will involve my lawyer and demand a paternity test! And we both know what the result will be.”

“I need more time.” She said softly.

“You have until the end of the month.”

“Harry-”

“You tell them or I do.” He said sternly.

Isabel’s POV:

She hadn’t meant to eaves drop, she just wanted to come ask Julie if she would want some toast with her tea to settle her stomach when she heard the hushed argument.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!” She heard Harry respond. She almost intervened when she heard this, feeling so much anger rising up in her at the sound of her son-in-law being so disinterested and cold after finding out he would be a father!

“And what if he leaves me?” Julie asked and she stopped from reaching for the door. She was momentarily frozen in shock as she processed Julie’s concern.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!”

Isabel could hear it in his voice that he felt bad but if this was not his child, he truly had no obligation to her. Especially if she had been having an affair for who knows how long.

“You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry added. “You have to tell your family the truth!” 

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?” Julie cried quietly and Isabel frowned and started to back away, hearing faintly about previous discussions of a divorce. This was very private and she had heard more than she probably should have. 

She was completely taken by surprise and immediately felt so bad for Harry and the situation that she had unintentionally put him in. She could only imagine how devastated he felt knowing that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child. A man that might not even stick around to help her or support her with this. Obviously she would always love her daughter, but it didn’t mean that she would always support her choices and this choice…to have an extramarital affair. To not grant Harry the divorce he had seemingly asked for before when she didn’t even love him anymore. The gall to ask him to stick around if the other man didn’t… it did not sit well with her and made her feel so frustrated at her. She hoped that Julie would say something soon because there was no way she could keep quiet for too long. Harry had been so good to all of them and he did not deserve that.

FINAL PART...

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[szonyix6277]

.:Soul Search in Seoul:. .:part 1:.

summary: (y/n) has had an awful end to the year 2024 and is attending a nye party with some of Korea's most prominent figures and she ends up sharing a nye kiss with one of them

pairing: Choi Seung-hyun x Fem!Reader

a/n: reader has a detailed background. also my first fic on tumblr omfg it took me forever to edit - oh and TOP and GD are friends off cam idc this is me coping ok? T^T

contains: fluff, angst, smoking, alcohol consumption, language, mention of suicide

w/c: 4.9k

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It was less than half an hour until the end of the year of 2024. Good, it was a shitty one anyway!

You had it all. You really did. A loving, slightly mysterious boyfriend, a well paying job, your own rental apartment, surrounded by friends. Then suddenly, like a house of cards, it all fell apart. By the end of November, you were left with no boyfriend, no job, no place and no friends. You still had your family, although your parents weren’t so keen about you moving back to their place at the ripe age of 33. They expected more from you after you moved from your hometown Huston to Los Angeles. It wasn’t ideal, but you had no choice. Your older sister was the one that got you out of the gutter. After a week of self-loathing, she snapped.

“You have to get the hell out of there!” -she got straight to the point. You loved her no nonsense attitude, but you were in no way, shape or form to just get up and leave. You still had a lot of self-loathing and depression in you to get through before you could pick up yourself.

“Huh?” -you groaned, sitting up. You looked at the clock on your nightstand. It was 2AM in the morning. What is her problem?! -you groaned internally.

“I booked you a ticket for the 27th! I’ll travel home for Christmas anyway, and we will come back to Seoul together.”

“Kimmie… it’s 2 in the fucking morning!” -you fell back in your bed, letting your head hit the soft pillow.

“I don’t care, I’m sick of your whining. You’re coming!”

“I guess.” -you yawned, not really processing what she was saying. “Thanks…” -and hung up.

When you gained consciousness, around noon, you saw a big text from her and the QR codes for your flights. You thanked her profusely this time and made some vague plans as you had no flights booked to come back.

You sister was 7 years older than you and lived in Seoul for nearly two-decades. She was married to a cinematographer, Byung-ho and the two of them had a teenage daughter, Jun-hee. She had the perfect life - you thought, but never felt jealous of her. If anything, you were proud of her and looked up to her. She was aspiring. She was your rock, your anchor, always keeping you grounded. Anything ever happened, you were able to talk to her - and she would always help you, be by your side, no matter the problem. School? Boys? Work? She got you.

That’s how you ended up at a fancy NYE party in Seoul.

She and her husband were invited and somehow, they snatched you a VIP pass.

Ringing into the new year all alone in a place full of prominent people your age, or barely older, felt like a chokehold tight around your throat. You couldn’t breathe in there.

You got in a big fur coat your sister lent you, a bottle of bubbly, and went to the rooftop. Your steps weren’t so sure. Cursing your choice of high heels and being a bit of a lightweight, or just a heavy drinker tonight, you finally got the door open. Your lungs welcomed the ice cold, somewhat dirty, December air and your ears were ringing due to the sudden silence. Your tears started to stream on your face. Crying quietly into the emptiness around you, feeling the feels you were holding in the entire night. Days. Weeks.

“Miss, are you ok-?” -some man with a deep, husky voice asked. You were not alone on the rooftop. You screamed, flinging the bottle in his direction. “Woah! Woah! Woah! I’m sorry! I’m not gonna hurt you!” -he had both his hands out, palms facing your way, a thumb clutching his vape. His knees were bent, right leg forward, left leg back. His brown eyes wide open, terrified of you.

You panted as your heart raced loud against your chest. You held your weapon of choice, high above your head, ready to hit. You took a closer look at him. Dark hair, bit messy. Tall. Kinda handsome. He had a long, black coat on. He wore black leather gloves, black suit pants and expensive looking shoes.

“You’re with the party?” -you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I am.” -he nodded slowly.

“Okay.” -you lowered the bottle. “I’m sorry.” -you wiped your tears.

Thanks to your stranger, he caused you a minor heart attack, knocking you out of your sob fest. For a moment, you forgot you felt so upset.

You walked towards the ledge, looking at the city. Seoul was a familiar city you always enjoyed visiting. It’s a buzzing one and tonight was no different. But it wasn’t the rush of the city you felt. It was something deep within.

You placed the bottle on the ledge and opened it with a loud pop. Half of it poured out, however, you didn’t care.

“Wanna share?” -the man asked slowly. You looked at him with a frown. “What? You nearly smacked me with it, might as well get to know what was going to cause my death.” -he added with a smile. And damn, he had a gorgeous smile.

“Aight!” -you sighed and handed him the bottle.

“I actually have two glasses.” -he pointed at the two champagne flutes sitting on the ledge.

You blinked at the efficiency but you didn’t question it. Mainly, because you were too drunk to care. Your brain was buzzing and your heart felt fuzzy. God bless alcohol! You two started chatting. Well, he chatted and you listened. Or at least you tried. Once you mentioned you’re Kimmie’s sister from Texas, he was unstoppable! He spoke like there was no tomorrow! Your last two brain cells could barely keep up. Some remnants that you hoped to remember tomorrow were DearMoon Project and Squid Game. The two of you nearly finished the bottle, between loud laughters and light, lingering touches as you passed his vape between each other; blueberry ice.

“Mm, y’know, we’re indirectly kissing.” -you giggled, leaning against the railing, handing his vape back to him.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Nope!” -you fell in silence for a moment, before adding. “Will you be my New Year’s Eve kiss?” -you asked. Straight to the point, no nonsense - just like your sister.

Without hesitation, he closed the already small gap between you two.

His hand confidently moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. His soft lips clashed on yours, sweet and soundless. Your hands shot up pulling him in deeper by the collar of his coat. You were the one begging for entry, which he granted. His hand gripped in your hair tighter; it made you mewl into the kiss. Your tongues danced in a slow, passionate manner, tasting the blueberry ice, as you heard the city count back.

5… 4… 3… 2…1

His kiss set the fireworks ablaze in your body. You could feel the loud explosions in every inch of your body, shaking your core. Then you realized, it was actual fireworks going off all over Seoul. The two of you slowly parted.

“Happy New Year…” -he said, almost in a whisper against your forehead, hugging you close.

“Happy New Year…” -you muffled in his chest, reciprocating his hug.

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A loud groan.

Ji-yong walked to his kitchen, still sleepy, grumpy and extremely hungover from the party last night. The years where he could handle more were far beyond him. He found his long-time best friend, Seung-hyun leaning on the kitchen table, covering his face in his arms, like his life was over. He chuckled. He knew which one of them had the crazier night. Ji-yong walked by the coffee machine to make some espresso. He noticed some of his fake nails were missing.

“What a party…” -he said, throat dry and hoarse.

Another loud groan.

“You want sugar? Milk?”

Two short groans.

“Okay, hyung, if you’re gonna crash at mine, you gotta use your words!” -Ji-yong put two cups of hot coffee on the table and two smaller containers with sugar and milk, as his curiosity got the best of him, he had to ask: “What the hell happened last night?”

Seung-hyun looked up, his eyes barely open. The brightness of the day, even though it was cloudy, hurt. But the first gulp of the coffee, skipping both sugar and milk, felt like heaven. It was soothing his scratchy throat.

“Well?” -Ji-yong wouldn’t let go.

“Uhh… I kissed Noona’s little sister.”

“Was there any press around?” -he lifted a brow.

“No, this was on the rooftop. Around midnight.”

“Aww…” -he cooed, bursting out in laughter. He covered his face and kicked his feet in excitement. “You’re so romantic!”

“Shut up…” -Seung-hyun said with a soft, tired smile on his face. He sighed. “I have to apologize to her. I can’t have a relationship right now! I…” -he was lost for thought. He ran his fingers through his messy hair. “Am I overreacting?”

“Yeah, you are. She’s half-American, isn’t she?”

“So?” -he shrugged. “Doesn’t she deserve an apology because she’s American?”

“I don’t think she’ll care, hyung.”

Seung-hyun didn’t even think about that.

Maybe she doesn’t care? Does she even remember?

He knew making out with a girl he barely knew was wrong on so many levels. He’s not that kind of guy - and even drunk, he should have said no. He should have let her down easy. His career was finally picking up. He’s got a second chance from director Hwang - and he’s about to blow it! He couldn’t let that happen.

He decided, he will apologize. The sooner, the better!

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You slept in your outfit from last night - a denim miniskirt, tights and a sparkly, golden top. You walked to the living room that had an adjoining kitchen, where your sister was already preparing coffee and breakfast.

“Rough night?” -she laughed, as she saw you.

Your look of disheveled hair and smeared mascara were only representing the way you felt. The soft buzz of your intoxicated brain was replaced by frenzy, while the fuzzy feeling in your heart was taken over by your stomach shaking. You felt you could throw up any minute.

“Bucket?” -you asked.

“It’s by the couch. Sit down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Following your sister’s orders, you grabbed the small tin and sat on the couch. Then, you lied down. Then, you decided to just sit on the carpeted floor and support your head against the couch. Keeping your eyes open felt like the hardest task you ever had to manage. Your eyelids felt like weighing a tonne and the soft rays of sun didn’t help to keep them open. Your sister walked in and gave you coffee in the biggest mug she could find.

“Thanks…” -you nodded and sipped in the dark elixir. Kimmie walked back in the kitchen. “I think I made out with someone last night.” -you admitted.

You heard dishes clashing and breaking in the kitchen, then your sister, with a look of fury and worry in her face, appeared in front of you.

“You did WHAT?”

“Hey, relax… It was just a kiss.” -you shrugged. “He’ll get over it. Maybe he doesn’t remember.” -you chuckled fondly. “He was pretty buzzed.”

“(Y/n), focus.” -she kneeled in front of you, holding your arms. Her grip was tighter than what you expected and made you gulp. “What do you remember of him?”

“Kimmie…”

“No, this is important. You were at a party with Korea’s most famous celebrities. Who did you kiss?”

Her nostrils were flaring, her eyes fixated on you without a blink. This was not a drill. She was worried and it wasn’t about you.

“He had… “ -just what did you do? Who did you kiss? “Urgh… dark hair and dark eyes.” -you said after pausing and frowning mid-sentence.

“That’s not narrowing it down at all.”

“Oh! Okay, I remember!”

“Yeah?”

“He was definitely taller than me!”

“(Y/n), sweetie…” -she was now gripping your arm that it was going to leave marks. “Everyone is taller than your smurf frame, okay?”

“Hobbit.” -you corrected.

“It doesn’t matter!” -she finally let go of your arm and flicked your forehead. Her signature move. She never got violent. If she ever lost her cool, she would just flick people.

“Ow!” -you massaged the middle of your forehead, scrunching your nose. It may not have seemed like a painful experience, but it sure as hell hurt!

“What was his name?”

“I don’t remember…”

“My God!”

“Tsk, what’s the big deal? A celeb snogged some random girl at a party. Who cares?!”

“A Korean celeb. And the Korean media does care!” -she corrected. “The repercussions of this could be devastating, (Y/n), I’m serious. This isn’t America! People here pay much more for much less!”

“Okay, I’m sorry!” -you said, then added. “It happened on the rooftop, there was nobody up there, just us two!”

“Are you sure…?”

“One-thousand percent, Kimmie.”

“You better pray.” -she gave you a look of disappointment and walked back to the kitchen.

You knew she was right.

You should have known better. Korea was notorious for treating their own celebrities like dirt for something as simple as dating - and drove them into suicide for anything. Why would they treat a little New Year’s Eve kiss as something positive? If anything, it will be a scandal.

You spent most of the day sleeping - occasionally feeling like you’d throw up, but you didn’t. You’ve had crazier nights, but you were much younger back then and you barely needed a day to recover. You could party all night and attend all your classes during the day. However, that was years and years ago. Now, you were checking your own pulse every few minutes, hoping you’re still alive.

In the evening, you finally had the strength to join your sister on the couch, wearing your pajamas. It was nowhere near bedtime, but if you were to fall asleep, you wanted to be cozy. You were lying on the couch on your side, half watching-half sleeping, your feet resting on your sister’s lap. She was the one watching the TV - her husband and daughter were watching a movie in the bedroom. This was much more relaxing than Texas, where your mom would tell you to stop moping and start acting and your father would bark at you for sleeping in after 5am at his ranch. As you adjusted the cushion under your head, Kimmie’s phone went off. She picked up immediately.

“Hey, Tabi! Happy New Year, dear!”

“Thanks, Noona! Happy New Year.” -Seung-hyun on the other side of the line. “Is your sister still with you?”

“My sister? Yeah, why?”

When you heard that, your ears perked up.

You sat up, looking at her curiously, trying to hear what the conversation was about. All you could hear was a deep, booming masculine voice. Why would such a sexy voice owner look for you?

“Yeah, I want to apologize to her… for… um… kissing her last night.”

“Eh?” -your sister was stunned and looked at you with a frown.

“What is it?” -you whispered, but she pushed an index over your lips. You groaned in a dissatisfied manner. And waited.

“I want to apologize to her in person.” -he repeated.

Your sister’s mouth opened in surprise.

“You made out with Seung-hyun?!” -her question darted at you. She was silently reprimanding you, as she removed the finger off your mouth.

“I guess...” -you shrugged. And simple as that, you’ve got his name; Seung-hyun. Very pretty - you nodded to yourself. And his voice was incredible, too! “Wait, is that him on the phone? Let me talk to him, sis!” -you got up, trying to snatch the phone.

“No!” -your sister stood up as well, pushing her hand in your face. But you licked her hand. “Ew! (Y/n)!”

“Give me the damn phone!” -you shouted.

“No!” -she lifted her arm up. Since she was much taller than you, you didn’t stand a chance, even when you jumped. So you resorted to the one thing you could do in a situation like that. Attack.

You grabbed her legs, lifted her off the ground and threw her on the couch. She squealed but held onto the phone. You pulled her off the couch in the middle of screams and curses thrown at each other. The two of you grappled on the floor, until you managed to sit on her chest, kneeling on her arms.

“God, you’re strong!” -she admitted defeat under you.

“I think this one's for me!” -you panted, and picked the phone to your ear. “Hellooo~?” -you said in a breathless, sing-songy voice.

“Um, hi. Is this a good time?”

His voice was so deep and husky. Any air left in your lungs, his words punched it right out of you. You couldn’t respond. If he sounds this hot over the phone, he must sound even hotter in real life! You just smiled and felt the heat prickling at your cheeks. Suddenly, you lost control. You felt a pair of legs around your stomach. Your sister put you in a lock! With one swift move, you were on the floor and she was on top of you. She took her phone back.

“Urgh, Kimmie!” -you whined.

“Tabi, I’m gonna have to call you back.” -she said and hung up without waiting for his answer. She looked at you. “We need to talk. Now!”

You let out a deep sigh. Sure, you needed to have a conversation, but not with her.

At the same time, you had two sets of eyes looking at you: your sister’s husband and daughter.

“Thank you, rescuers!” -you scoffed at them in a humorous tone.

“Haven’t you both done some sort of self-defense?” -Byung-ho asked. “I don’t accidentally want to get punched.” -he had a good reason. You’ve done 3 years of Krav Maga, while Kimmie did 5 years of Judo and Taekwondo. She finally got off you and pulled you up with one arm. “What happened anyway?”

“She made out with Tabi.”

“Oh…” -his eyebrows ran high.

“Pfff, I can’t believe TOP-ssi kisses people other than his bae!” -Jun-hee burst out in laughter and made kissy noises towards your direction to taunt you. You just rolled your eyes. You didn’t really understand what she meant by ‘his bae’ nor you wanted to. At least she felt light hearted about it - as it should be. It was a one time thing, nothing special!

However, your sister gave you a talking to.

She laid it all out. Her voice was stern, with a hint of disappointment and sadness towards the whole situation. You knew the severity it could cause, but you had no idea who Choi Seung-hyun was - and more importantly, what he’s been through. You were not a K-Pop stan, and so you were obliviously unaware of his world.

After listening to your sister, which felt like countless hours, you got online and did your research. So that’s who you are. T.O.P from BIGBANG.

Because of your excessive napping and feeling still slightly jetlagged, you were up for most of the night getting to know him - so to speak.

You watched a few interviews and came to the conclusion that he really was a sweet and silly guy - like Kimmie said - and he wore his kind and sweet heart on his sleeve. The way he was ruined to mere pieces of his existence over weed was unheard of. No, he didn’t deserve any of that shit.

You were also curious about his musical career and played a few of them on Youtube. You chuckled at yourself, feeling a tint of blush creeping to your cheeks when you saw him in his cowboy outfit and you were practically chewing your lips when you saw him with white hair - it really suited him. Your sister said he was an incredible rapper, but she failed to mention he could also sing and played the harmonica! And quite well at that! You decided to download a handful of songs you liked and call it a night.

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The next day you woke up relatively early and after breakfast you and Jun-hee decided to hit the malls and take advantage of some January sales - you were starting to run low on outfits, especially underwear.

As you were walking on the street, you caught yourself looking at a selection of vapes at one of the small shop’s windows. Blueberry ice, huh? - your train of thought suddenly stopped and reminded you why it felt familiar. Without thinking, you walked in, leaving your underaged niece outside, and bought the flavour. I might never see him again, just let’s have this as a memento - you sighed and walked out of the shop.

“Aren’t you too old to have a crush?” -Jun-hee chuckled. She really had no filter.

“Huh?”

“Oh, please, Auntie!” -she tapped her acrylic nails on the box, like some kind of cringey ASMR TikTok video. “I might be young but I ain’t no stupid. TOP-ssi has the exact same brand and flavour.”

“Why do you know that?” -you put the box in your pocket.

“So I’m right?!” -she grinned, her whole face beaming. She had no idea! She just wanted to see if you knew - and you did, walking right into her trap. Shaking your head, you gently kicked her ass and grabbed her neck from behind.

“Aren’t you too young to meet your maker?”

“Touche!” -she winked and stuck your tongue at you.

With some giggles you walked in the shopping mall, having no idea how the day at home is unfolding without you two being present.

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Seung-hyun arrived just over an hour after you left. He exchanged some texts with your sister last night that he wanted to talk to her before he could muster up the courage to talk and apologize to you.

“Do you want my blessing?” - she mused, as she set some snacks and beverages in front of him on the coffee table.

“Don’t be like that, Noona!” -he bit his lower lips. “I just need some… advice.”

“Advice?” -she frowned. “For what?”

“How to let her down easy.”

“Tabi, sweetie!” -Kimmie nearly fell over laughing. Even the notion! She got hold of his hand. And flicked his forehead so hard he made a face at her.

“You know I hate these!”

“Yeah, and I hate it when you overthink!” -your sister argued. “(Y/n) is a grown ass woman, even if she doesn’t look like it. She can handle rejection! Just be honest and upfront with her.”

“Right.”

“That’s my only advice.”

With that, the front door opened and you and Jun-hee got home, carrying several bags of goodies. Taking advantage of the shopping opportunity, and your sister’s credit card, you got yourself a bunch of new fits, including some spicy underwear sets. You felt a little bad and decided you should contribute to food shopping - not financially, but at least bringing the goods home and possibly cooking for the family.

“Hey!” -you shouted a greeting from the door, kicking your boots off. “I got some cute outfits, if you want to see! Your daughter really knows her stuff when it comes to lace!”

“You look super hot in TOP-ssi’s favourite colour though!” -Jun-hee clapped back.

“That’s great, girls! We have co-” -your sister tried to warn you, but neither you nor Jun-hee heard her and you continued to bicker as you got off your coats and hoodies.

“Can you get off my back for 5 seconds?”

“Why, you’re the one totally crushing on him and knows what flavour he’s smoking!”

“Anyway….” -you said in a finalizing tone. You picked up the grocery bags, making your way to the kitchen through the living room. “We bought some foo-- Oh, my God!” -your jaw nearly hit the floor as you walked in. You stopped in your step, making Jun-hee walk into you. Your eyes got as wide as saucers. You gulped, feeling your heart rate getting dangerously high.

There he was, Seung-hyun, sitting at the coffee table, next to your sister. He aged like fine wine since his BIGBANG days. He had glasses on - a pair with a thick, black, angular frame. It complimented his facial features beyond belief. He wore a wine red, knitted sweater, a white shirt underneath - you could only see the collar - and black jeans. His dark brown hair was fluffy unstyled, just combed off centre. He looked fantastic. He had a soft smile and the slightest shade of pink on his face - the latter thanks to you and Jun-hee’s discussion.

“As I was trying to warn, we have company.” -Kimmie finished her sentence.

You blinked twice, like you cannot quite comprehend the situation.

What is he doing here? Why is he here?

“Sorry, TOP-ssi!” -Jun-hee was the first to speak, grinning ear-to-ear, knowing how embarrassed you felt. “As you can see, Auntie is having a stroke.” -one day, when she’s older, you will punch her for this comment. “Mom, I’ll put these away in the kitchen.” -she said and took the grocery bags from your hand. You were genuinely surprised you never dropped those.

“We can deal with that later.” -your sister stood up. “Let’s make ourselves scarce.” -and with that your sister and niece left the scene, leaving you and Seung-hyun alone.

“I’m so sorry.” -you started. You knelt on the arm rest and leaned over to shake his hand. “(Y/n).” -you introduced yourself.

“Hi, Seung-hyun.” -his deep, booming voice. Good thing you were half-kneeling already. He slightly lifted from his seated position, bowed a little and took your hand for a gentle shake. His hand was really soft - softer than what you expected. You shared a quick smile. You grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and sat next to him.

“How come you’re here?” -you asked, cutting to the chase. He tilted his head, like a cute puppy when he doesn’t understand a command, so you added: “I mean… I’m glad but it’s quite  unexpected.”

“Okay.” -he took a deep breath, as if he forgot to take one before entering the conversation. “I was told I’m overreacting, but I wanted to see you… to apologize.”

“U-huh.” -you nodded. And kept nodding. You didn’t understand. “For what?” -you frowned.

“For that kiss.”

“Oh, Seung-hyun!” -you let out a nervous chuckle. “You really came here all the way to apologize to me?”

“That and… huh, this is harder than I thought it’d be…” -his fingers were nervously fidgeting on his lap. He looked at you, eyes sad, his mind ready to crush your dreams. Seung-hyun couldn’t stop himself, but imagine the worst case scenarios. He imagined you’d cry. He imagined you’d cover your face as you wail in pure agony and tell him you never want to see him again. Rip off that band-aid! -he told himself. “I don’t want to be in a relationship!”

It came out like one, very long word. Maybe a tad bit too rude. He immediately regretted the way he said it. However, to his surprise, you smiled.

“Is that what made you so nervous?”

“Yeah…”

“God, you really are the sweetest guy.” -you got closer to him and hugged him. He hesitantly hugged you back and tapped your back. He smelled so good - notes of leather, amber and tangerine. Paco Rabanne! You pulled away to look at him. “It’s totally fine.”

“Really?”

“Really.” -you reassured him. “I don’t want to be in a relationship, either.”

“You’re making it way too easy on me.”

“Oh, please!” -you pulled fully back, drank some of your water and continued. “I had guys groping me in the barn during harvest fests! Now they owe me an apology! ” -his eyebrows ran high in surprise. “Don’t worry, I kicked them in the balls.”

“Is that a good thing?” -he frowned.

“Well, for me, yes. For their next generation…”

Seung-hyun let out a heartfelt laugh. He liked your open and carefree attitude. Well, he liked you.

“So I was really worried about nothing.” -he concluded.

“Yeah. But it’s really sweet.”

“Not pathetic?”

“Nope.” -you shook your head. He really lacked confidence and tried so hard to find something negative and rejectable about himself. “I’m sorry, too, if I got you into any trouble…”

“No, you didn’t. Just… surprised me.” -he said. “You’re not dramatic over this.”

“I had my fair share of drama last year.” -you said, dropping your eyes. You remembered Pete, your ex-boyfriend. The mysterious Pete. Your jaw clenched and you gripped the water bottle a bit tighter. You took a deep, cleansing breath and looked back at the man on your side with a faint smile. “But we are good here.”

“Ok.” -he patted your hand resting on your knee and stood up. “I guess I’m gonna go now. Thanks for being… really cool about this.”

“Sure thing.”

You walked him out. When you closed the door behind him, you heard Jun-hee in a sing-songy tone.

“TOP-ssi and (Y/n), sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-S-S-S-S-S…”

“That’s way too many S’s in kissing.” -you protested.

“Not if you’re making out for a long time.”

“Kimmie! Control your crotch goblin!” -you shouted, as Jun-hee darted away from you.

Getting teased about your non-existent love life by your niece in 2025 was not on your bingo card.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

part 1 .:. part 2 .:. part 3 .:. part 4 .:. part 5 .:. part 6

Taglist: @bettelaboure @flymetothexmoon @nerdydoll-com @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten @cybertempo @breakmeoff @wcnderlnds @emmiesoverthemoon @berfgrimm

tagged some of my fave people on tumblr

feel free to request to be tagged in future fics!

special thnks to @flymetothexmoon for helping me figure out the picture question ilysm

[marvelavengerspovs1]

Just gonna leave this here🥵❤️‍🔥

Home

Pairing: Bucky x F!reader

Warnings: MDNI (SMUT 18+), oral, masturbation, fingering, unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT), a little bit of fluff at the end, I think that’s it but lmk if I missed something

Length: 1.1k

Summary: Bucky comes home from a mission wanting to make you feel good.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request, I hope that I do it justice! This is also a good time to say that my requests are open! I don’t just write smut, you can request something fluffy! 

MDNI! 18+ ONLY! I cannot control what you consume so you have been warned!

I do not give consent for my work to be translated, copied, or sold!

You miss your boyfriend more than anything else in the world. You know how demanding his job is and how much it means to him, but this time you are feeling selfish. You want to come home to Bucky watching baseball on the TV, or fixing something in your apartment, or Bucky playing with a pet you adopted together. You want normalcy. You want Bucky.

You tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear as you look down at the bowl of ice cream in your lap. It’s almost completely melted but you didn’t care. You put the bowl on the coffee table and stare at your phone. You left it on the table so you would stop checking it but it was no use. You picked it up and opened it, hoping to see some type of message from him.

No new messages

You rub your face with your hands. It’s only a matter of time before he comes home. It’s only been 2 weeks. You think to yourself.

Deciding that it’s time to call it a night, you get up from the couch and pick up the apartment. You want to make sure that the apartment doesn’t look like a mess if Bucky comes home when you’re asleep or when you’re away. The last thing you do is turn off the TV that is playing some shitty reality show you put on as background noise.

You take one last look around the apartment when you hear a key go into the lock. Your heart starts to beat faster, nervous that it’s Bucky finally coming home or god forbid some maniac trying to rob you. The door slowly opens and you see him.

His normally cropped hair is a bit longer, curling at the nape of his neck and around his ears. His normally clean-shaven face has grown out to a stubble. Most importantly, he still looked like Bucky.

Bucky drops his duffle bag on the floor and smiles when he sees you. You run to him and jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. Bucky stumbles back a bit but gains his composure quickly. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the side of your head as you breathe in his scent.

“Hey, Doll,” Bucky says as he closes the door behind him, making sure that the locks are in place.

“You’re never allowed to leave again!” You say as you lean back.

You wrap your arms behind his neck and pull your foreheads together. Bucky stares deep into your eyes and can see how lonely you’ve been the past 2 weeks.

“I’m sorry baby doll, I wish I didn’t have to leave so often,” Bucky says.

“It’s ok, Bucky.” You say and close your eyes.

Having him home makes you feel safer. It makes you feel like everything is the way it’s supposed to be. You lean in and kiss him.

“Please, Bucky.” You whisper against his lips.

Bucky understands what you mean and guides you to the couch. He gently places you down, pushing you back to get between your legs. Bucky leaves a small kiss on your lips before going down your neck. He helps you pull your shirt off, revealing your bare breasts.

“You’re so perfect doll,” Bucky whispers against your neck.

You pull him back up to your face so you can kiss his lips again. Bucky slips his tongue into your mouth and you let out a small moan. You tug at his shirt and he understands what you’re asking him. He pulls his shirt off in one fluid motion before kissing down your torso.

“Bucky, I need you.” You whimper out.

“Patience, doll. You already have all of me.”

Bucky gets to the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down, throwing them behind you. You lay beneath him in only your underwear. Bucky kisses your stomach and looks up at you as he brings his hands to your underwear. He slowly pulls them down, kissing down your leg as they slip off of you.

“Bucky…” You moan, lifting your hips so that he can go to the one place you want him to.

“You have to use your words Doll,” Bucky looks up at you as he kisses up your leg.

“I need you…” You moan out. “I need your mouth on me…”

Bucky happily obliges. He licks your slick folds, humming at the taste. Bucky sucks on your clit, making you moan out in pleasure. Bucky may be over 100 years old, but this man knows how to fuck his girl right.

Bucky pushes a finger into you and you grab his hair. You both moan at the new sensations. You continue to pull as Bucky thrusts his finger into you, adding one when you start to buck your hips.

“That’s it baby doll, ride my fingers.”

“Bucky, I’m about to come!” You moan out loudly, not caring if your neighbors hear.

Bucky continues to fuck you with his fingers, kissing and biting the inside of your thighs. With two more thrusts, he has you coming all over his fingers. Bucky brings his fingers to his face before licking them, humming at the taste.

“You taste so good doll, you’re even better than dessert.” Bucky compliments you before pulling you onto his lap.

You feel his thick cock through his jeans and moan at the feeling. You start to move your hips, wanting to ease your throbbing core.

“You’re going to ride me doll,” Bucky instructs you as he pulls his jeans and boxers down enough for his cock to come out.

You nod your head as he helps you guide his cock into you. As you sink down you both moan. You place your forehead on his, both of you closing your eyes.

“Baby doll, I need you to move.” Bucky grits out.

You nod your head and start to move on top of him. You start off slow, not wanting the moment to end. Soon enough you’re moving fast with Bucky thrusting up into you.

“Bucky, I’m going to come again!” You moan out.

“I’m almost there Doll,” Bucky thrusts his hips harder.

You both move faster, trying to find your orgasms at the same time. With a few more thrusts, you both find your release.

“That’s it Doll, milk my cock.” You moan at Bucky’s words.

You both sit for a minute to catch your breaths. Bucky rubs your arms while you play with his hair.

“You need a haircut,” You mumble out.

Bucky chuckles and kisses you. “You don’t my hair?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just like your short hair better. And while you’re at it, maybe trim the beard.” Bucky laughs at your comment.

“I’m glad that I’m home,” Bucky says before giving you one more kiss.

[star-girl69]

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[v3nusstardust]

My Love, Mine All Mine

Genre : Comfort, fluff 🙈

Summary : You had a terrible day at work/school. Everyone treated you like shit and as soon as you got home, you began to cry and vent to your boyfriend.

Warnings : none honey this is good Fr 🐺 #baddie

a/n : bois I saw Niki listening to this fkn song on Weverse and freaked the fuck out so here I am🐺.. my ass is also not gonna edit so v sorry for mistakes🧑🏻‍🦲..

Niki held you in his arms, rocking you gently. You were crying, venting to him about your shitty day. Snot, drool, and tears cascaded down your face, smudging your mascara and leaving you feeling terrified of how you must look to your boyfriend. His gentle touch caressed your face. “Look at me.” He whispered. “No.. my makeup is… it’s messed up and I look scary.” You said through sniffles. “Please Angel?” He pleaded softly. His voice was so soft snd smooth, how could you resist? You slowly looked up at him. Your eyes met with his and he gave you a warm smile. “Hi pretty girl..” he cooed. His thumbs tenderly wiped away your warm tears. “I look scary don’t I? Like a raccoon.. or something..” you said. “A cute raccoon.” Niki gently laughed. He continued to caress your face with admiration and love in his eyes.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice soft and soothing. "Go sit in front of your vanity. I'll be back, okay? I’m gonna go to the kitchen really quick.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your wet cheeks before you reluctantly nodded, your pout and teary eyes melted his heart. "Okay," you murmured softly.

When he returned, his hands were filled with your favorite snacks.🩷

"Alright, here. Eat some snacks," he said, placing them on your wide vanity. You eagerly grabbed a bag of your favorite chips and some candies, feeling a bit more comfortable. You grabbed some makeup wipes and wipes away all of your smudged makeup.

"Where are your hair ties?" he asked, rummaging through your drawer. "They're here on my vanity... why?" you inquired. "Gimme," he replied with a smile, and you handed them to him. He then took out a couple and put them around his wrists.

"Can I connect to your speaker?" he questioned. "Yeah, sure," you replied.

The familiar melody of your favorite song, "My Love, Mine All Mine" by Mitski, filled the room, making you smile. “How’d you know I like this song?” You asked. "I've heard you sing this in the shower a couple of times... you have a beautiful voice, Y/N," he said, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and kissing your forehead. You blushed at the compliment, feeling a rush of warmth.

"Okay... let me know if I'm hurting you... I'm not the best with this stuff," he said, picking up your hairbrush.

Niki began to brush through your hair slowly and gently, his touch soothing and comforting. The tension began to melt away as the gentle strokes of the brush untangled knots and smoothed out your hair. The music played softly in the background, creating a comforting atmosphere in the room.

“Close your eyes. I wanna surprise you.” He smiled. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in the moment.

You felt Niki's movements around you, a sense of anticipation building in your chest. His touch remained gentle as he worked, his hands moving with practiced ease through your hair. You could faintly hear him singing the song, your favorite🩷 his voice was so pretty , it made you feel so warm inside.

Slowly, you blinked your eyes open, greeted by the sight of yourself in the mirror. Your hair was styled in a cute single braid.

“You look so pretty..” he whispered as he bent down to place a kiss to your cheek. “Say it..” he said. “Huh..? Say what?” You asked. “Say you’re pretty.. look at yourself my love..” he tucked a couple strands of hair behind your ear. “I’m pretty..” you softly smiled at yourself in the mirror. Niki let out a little chuckle. “You should take a picture and post your hair style on your insta.. show it off though that I did it.. I wanna make your exes and secret admirers jealous lowkey..” he laughed.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Is that why you did my hair.. and played my favorite song?…” you questioned with a hint of sass. “No.. I just wanna show my girl how much I love her..you’re mine.. mine all mine..” he said caressing your bottom lip with his thumb before bringing your soft lips to his.

A/n : Ight bois srry for the mistakes if there are any u guys💀 ima disappear for another 3 months.. unless this shi blows up I think😭 🩷x enjoy

[cranberryjuice-posts]

Clarisse x femreader where reader broke up with Clarisse cause she thought Clarisse could do better than her and eventually Clarisse corners her and demands answers to why reader broke up with her. Begging on Clarisse’s part to get back together.

If you don’t want to do this you don’t have too!

- a helping hand -

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Loner! Reader

An - sorry this took so long to get out I’m also working on my AO3 series and writing the chapters takes a lil while 😭😭

You aimlessly walked around the camp. With it being officially one month after your breakup with clarisse— or rather you dumping the girl.

The moon provided enough light for you, that and the large bonfire that took place in the background. The singing and joking was all fun and games but you really just preferred to be alone.

A few steps into the woods you let out a deep breath. Saying a silent thankyou to nyx the goddess of the night for bringing you some peace in this shitty situation.

You loved clarisse, more than she would ever know. While she preferred to train in the arena beating her siblings to a pulp you liked to paint in the art pavilion. Your dates were always something elaborate but private enough that you both could spend time just alone.

Your insecurities got the best of you however. Ofcourse you saw how other girls looked at her I mean just look at her. Clarisse was a tall well fit masculine girl, she was every lesbian or sapphics dream.

She deserved better. While you preferred to be alone she was always the center of attention.. She deserved someone confident, who could keep up with her ever changing schedule and someone who could share the spotlight.

Your final straw was seeing her flirt with Ramona, a daughter of Apollo who looked a little to much like Rapunzel. Of course she’d go after a girl like that— the complete opposite of you.

Taking a spot by the creek you took your shoes off letting your feet relax in the cold water. The silence got you out of your head helped you finally relax. Looking up quickly you saw a deer standing before you, poised and unafraid.

You stood up walking into the ankle deep water making your way over to the buck. Feeling a strange sense pulling you to it.

It nuzzled into your body, it’s horns tangling into you. You chuckled softly rubbing its straw like hair. The moment was short lived— a stick broke causing the buck to become skittish and run off.

“There you are Jesus” a voice you wish you could forget spoke behind you. Turning around you saw clarisse standing with her arms crossed. “I saw you ran off and I just wanted to make sure you were ok”

“I’m fine” you bluntly spoke making your way back to your shoes.

She just rolled her eyes. “Uh huh and I take it you becoming emotionally attached to a wild animal is also you being fine” she teased. Once you got up you tried to leave only to be stopped by the woman with her grabbing your wrist.

“Common Dont leave” she sighed. “Look I’m sorry.. I just want to Talk, can we do that please you at-least owe me that”

Clarisse was right, like normal. Giving a dramatic sigh you agreed. “Fine” you shrugged your shoulders.

———

At first you expected the conversation to be awkward, though your expectations changed when it went the complete opposite direction.

Here you were snorting as clarisse told you about some story with her and her brothers. “It’s not That Funny you jerk” she laughed gently shoving you.

You just continued to laugh bumping into her. “It’s hilarious” You retaliated.

“Uh huh sure” she chuckled grabbing your arms with a smile. Before you could stop yourself you leaned up kissing her. The kiss was short, the realization set in immediately causing you to pull back quickly.

“I’m sorry” you rushed. “I shouldn’t I—“

Before you could finish clarisse wrapped an arm around your waist, the other cupping your face as she quickly pulled you into another kiss. Instead of rejecting it this time you placed your arms around her neck. Accept it rather than blocking it.

You both tilted your heads allowing one another to have better reach in the kiss. After dating for almost a year you both learned one another’s strengths and weaknesses in kissing.

Letting out a soft moan you pulled away, keeping her close though. “Why..” she panted. “Why did you end it” her question was blunt and straight to the point.

You debated on answering her question, not sure if she’d like the real answer. “Because you deserve someone better” you whispered against her lips. Clarisse broke the small space causing you both to have breathing room. “What?!” Her tone was more upset if anything.

“Look It’s not That It’s Just”

“Just What?! I deserve someone better the hell does that mean” she slapped her arms to her thighs.

“It means that I’m not the best for you clarisse!” You finally yelled. “I stay to myself I like to be alone, people think I’m weird and I see how they laugh at me! Clarisse you deserve someone who isn’t a fucking shut in”

“And who decided I wanted someone else?!” She yelled back causing you to stay quiet. What did she mean by that. “You dumb ignorant fool” Clarisse sighed rubbing her eyes. Letting her hands drop down she grabbed your body once more. “I don’t want anyone else, you’re the only person for me— the only person I want. You understand” her tone much calmer. “Please don’t ever think I didn’t want you— babe I came after you because i still love you”

You felt your eyes water at her words. You just nodded breaking down in her arms. “Besides Ramona is way to fucking loud” you just laughed through the tears making her smile.

———

Walking back to camp holding hands you noticed in the corner of you eye the buck from before. Standing as calm as ever.

Your eyes seemed to play tricks on you as the deer shifted from a buck to a tall woman with dark flowing hair to back to an animal.

Silently you said yet another Thank-you to Nyx. She might not of been a major goddess but she did her part.

[romanhughesy]

GRAVITY - andrei svechnikov x fem!reader

summary: you meet in spring. andrei is confident, easy-going. deeply casual. summer’s long, but you’re around again when andrei comes back in the fall and ‘casual’ shifts into something fonder, something taking shape around the edges. a mid-season injury brings things to a breaking point, but the longest night only comes once a year.

wc: 3k

warnings: suggestive (like pg13), angsty?, emotionally unavailable!reader<3

a/n: im so sorry it’s late, but this is my fic for @wyattjohnston’s winter fic exchange, written for @sydnikov !! i LOVE your writing and was so inspired by your preferred tropes/figure skating background, so i hope you love it!! ive never wrote anything quite like this before, so feedback is 10000% encouraged bc this is also my first fic in awhile :’) title is from ‘gravity’ by my queen tinashe, that song and her other song ‘cross that line’ PERFECTLY describe the relationship i was trying to capture here.

-

somewhere along the way– far too late– it becomes apparent you and andrei misunderstood each other. maybe even from the very first moment.

on an unseasonably humid early spring night, in a dark gritty bar with shitty lighting and shittier beer, a spark ignited between the both of you. he approached you, half-drunk and put up to it by the rowdy teammates commandeering a booth with a great view of the bar. of you and your friends. he offered to buy a round of shots for everyone– if your friends would take them back to the booth and leave the two of you at the bar. your girls, who absolutely did not need anymore shots, practically ran across the bar with the tray; not before elbowing you and patting your shoulder, of course. maybe one hockey player could fly under the radar, but certainly not this one, and the table full that were now hosting your friends were the talk of the little bar. even some of the other girls nearby looked at you enviously; like you’d been chosen, or won some sort of prize. it was an unpleasant kind of feeling that you tried to shove aside in favor of easy, tipsy conversation. after talking around the elephant in the room for a minute, the liquid courage helped you decide to name it. you praised his performance in their game earlier that evening. months later, you can still remember how his smile took over his face, wide and prideful.

“thank you, pretty,” he slurred, shuffling a bit closer, “i can teach you how to skate good like me.”

you also remember your own prideful scoff, rolling your eyes on pure instinct. that unpleasant feeling sharpened. “i could carve you up, svech.”

his jaw dropped, the disbelief seeming more honest than his boastful smile, somehow. “you play? you are… small.”

“i’m a figure skater. i coach, too. maybe i should teach you to skate better.”

andrei’s wolfish smile came back in full force then, large hand draping over yours on the sticky bar. “perfect figure skater– pretty and small. i’m sure you skate well, but not like me.”

he raised his drink to signal the bartender, but you slid your hand from underneath the bar to rest on top of his and tapped the back of his palm lightly, stealing his attention with a head tilt.

“should we go and check out each other’s skills?”

one night set the stage for a loose kind of routine, spring nights slipping away in the back of seedy bars, in andrei’s bland luxury apartment; bodies coming to an understanding on rumpled grey sheets in his california king bed. your friends wouldn’t shut up about him, but you insisted there was nothing to tell. and there wasn’t. neither of your lives had room for anything more than what you already had. when he was gone, or just not around, your life passed by more or less the same as when he was there. you weren’t going through the motions to pretend there was anyone else, to him or to your friends, but you knew where you stood. and it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. what you and andrei had was good, easy. you didn’t want a boyfriend anyway, so why would you complain about a steady hookup who wasn’t getting attached?

as the days got warmer, the nights got shorter, and andrei’s games became more meaningful. he slipped away— as much as you can really slip away when you aren’t being held at all. he more or less disappeared from your life once their second playoff series went south, and you refused to give chase.

-

summer was a blur. long days full of early morning practice, the smell of the ice invigorating your senses and bringing relief from the oppressive heat. it was a year too hot to be outdoors much, so you holed up, binging reality tv and redecorating your bedroom. your friends brought you out of your shell every now and then with a couple of weekend beach trips and many more coerced nights out. they’d switched from seedy sports bars to cocktail lounges, or dance clubs, and were good enough to not mention why, at least to your face. things felt simpler this way, dancing into the night with a rotating cast of strangers and cutting out early with the excuse of your sunrise rink time. you started landing a new trick, and even the heat couldn’t dull your mood about that.

seemingly in the blink of an eye, the dog days of summer had passed, and banners started cropping up around downtown boasting the shiny newcomers and fan favorites returning to town for training camp. you saw andrei’s face on the house-sized poster hanging on the outside of the arena and pretended to yourself that you’d never met him, because, really, what else were you supposed to do? go back to that same bar, with your same friends, and pretend you knew him at all?

-

well, you did do that– not of your own volition, to be sure– and he was there, because of course he was. you saw him the second you walked in, tall, broad and smiling, just like you remembered. you pointedly looked away, sharp eyes almost daring your friends to say something, but they didn’t have to.

you were fumbling through your purse to pay for your drink when he approached from behind, resting his hand on the bar. your bodies weren’t quite touching, but you were enveloped by his stature.

“you can put all of their drinks on my tab,” you could almost feel the vibrations of his deep voice through your chest. your friends raised their eyebrows, but said nothing, taking their drinks and deserting the bar. that deja vu, memory-on-the-tip-of-your-tongue feeling washed over you, heightened by his next words.

“how was your summer, pretty girl? mine was long, without seeing you.”

you sidestepped his hold to be able to look up at him, to take his features in for the first time in awhile. in person, that is. there was a boyishness, an almost clumsiness, about him like this that never came across in his media. you tried not to let it persuade you.

“i landed my axel for the first time.” you answered, not bothering to address his flattery.

“triple?” andrei asked, eyebrows raised.

you rolled your eyes. “i’m an amateur, andrei. not all professionals can land a triple.”

his eyes flashed, that challenging look that always dragged you in, “i’m a professional. i bet i could. i do lots of hard things.”

“i doubt you could even stand on figure skates, much less jump.”

he tilted his head, and you felt pulled back in time, “can i show you my skill?”

“andrei…” you tried to pull your gaze away from him, but he grabbed your hand, gentle as can be, and you locked eyes with him again.

“please, pretty girl. i missed you.”

looking back, you still aren’t sure what you thought he’d say, but it wasn’t that. the shock stirred up some of the unpleasant feelings of the past few months, the severed connection that was barely tangible to begin with. you lightly scoffed, “yeah, right.”

“i did. i’m glad to be back, to see you tonight. let me show you.”

what else could you say to that?

so you let andrei take you home, and tried to tell yourself you were just imagining the difference in his behavior, projecting softness, maybe even fondness, where there was only lust. tried to explain away his gentle hands on your cheeks, your hips, his quiet praise and adoration. you slept over, that night, and tried to turn a blind eye again in the morning. and again a few days later.

as fall crept in, the two of you start texting more often, meaningless chatter and jokes, and began foregoing the pretense of having to go out to the bars to “coincidentally” meet up. he’d ask to pick you up after leaving the stadium most nights he was in town, and more often than not you’d stay over. andrei didn’t seem to mind that you were often gone before he woke up; flying across the ice to try and leave your emotions behind, heart crawling a little further up into your throat every day. you knew it was unnatural, yet you couldn’t help but try to build your walls a little higher with every step you took forward towards something different with andrei. you just couldn’t help but feel like letting your guard down would be a fatal mistake.

his time on the road helped, in a lot of ways. it gave you a sense of normalcy, you went out with your friends and didn’t look over your shoulder. you could give andrei a bit of a cold shoulder over text and pretend he was the busy one, the one not responding. until he came back to town and kissed you breathless in his sports car, taking off your jacket with his big but deft hands and mumbling into your neck about missing you while he was gone.

it wasn’t that you didn’t like him— certainly not that— but it was hard to feel like you stood on solid ground when his life moved at such a fast pace. he never intentionally made you feel small, but his world, spanning millions of miles and millions more dollars, was dizzying, and so entirely divorced from whatever you two had that you still felt as though you didn’t know him, really, even though you held all of these small pieces of him close to your heart. you felt constantly at a loss, not sure how to best express yourself in any given moment, caught between honesty and protecting your feelings, unsure how to do both at once. the leaves turned, then fell, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

andrei, apparently, had none of the same hangups. he was simple, straightforward and never shy to go after what he wanted. his interest was more than clear, but you could never bring yourself to ask just how far it went. he never asked you to go to dinner, or one of his games, and even though you guys weren’t just hooking up, in fact there were a couple of hangouts late fall without having sex at all, you couldn’t find any other name to call whatever you two were doing. so you stopped trying.

-

somewhere around the first frost, things changed. andrei had his first injury of the season, having to sit out a short road trip, and you found yourself out of your depth with the version of andrei that reminded you of unpleasant early-summer heat. you didn’t know how to comfort him, scared to cling or insert yourself unnecessarily into his personal life, so you thought you should just mirror his attitude. maybe that’s what brought things down.

one late november night, you started shrugging back on your clothes after leaving the bathroom until andrei’s voice, thick with sleep, gave you a momentary pause.

“where are you going?”

you looked up at him, and immediately regretted it. his high, strong cheekbones were softened in the dim light, eyes dark and confused, but you refused to believe the furrow of his brow held any traces of disappointment

“home. i have an extra-early skate tomorrow.”

“you know you can stay here,” andrei assured in a low voice, but you just shook your head and sat at the edge of the bed to put your socks back on.

“it’s fine, andrei. it’s not that late.”

he sat up fully, then, long arm reaching across the bed to try and touch you, but you were too far away.

“what’s going on?” andrei asked, not letting you answer before another question sprung from his lips. “why are you not comfortable with me?”

you froze, looking up slowly but deliberately avoiding his eyes.

“it’s nothing. i’d just rather be at my place tonight.”

“it is something,” he insisted, voice still quiet, but more firm than you’d ever heard him speak to you. “you don’t want to be honest with me. why?”

“i’m being honest with you,” you argued, even though you knew it wasn’t true. “why are you upset? it doesn’t matter.”

“i like spending time with you. i’m alone, i’m hurt, and you make things better.”

it somehow stung, the sweet words only serving to remind you what he could say instead, what you wished he’d say.

“we spend plenty of time together, svech. i can’t put my plans aside for you just because you couldn’t travel with the team.”

you didn’t have to read a different emotion into his furrowed brow any longer, it was set in a very clear frustration, now.

“don’t say that, don’t call me that,” he insisted, “what did i do? why are you angry?”

you stood, at that, pulling your sweater over your head hastily. “i’m not angry. you’re the one making this a big deal.”

“you are leaving and trying to hurt my feelings. i am just trying to figure out why.” he rose from the bed, trying to catch your wrist as you went to button your jeans, but you took a step back.

“we already fucked, andrei. you had plenty of my ‘quality time’ for tonight. i’m leaving, now.”

he stepped into your space, shaking his head and grabbing both of your wrists, not forceful, but firm.

“this is not about sex, pretty. you know it’s not. why are you saying this?”

“well, that’s all we have. we’re not dating, i’m not your girlfriend, so you should call someone else if you need comfort.”

it was his turn to take a step back, then. dropping your wrists, hurt clear as day across his face.

“that is not true. we cook together, work out together, watch movies together, talk on the phone while i am gone. is it all just about sex, to you?”

your insides twisted, hurt and anger shifting into a kind of guilt, a panic. you’d been so painstakingly, yet fruitlessly, trying to protect your own heart, trying to push yourself away. blind to the fact that the whole time, he was reaching out to you.

“i… didn’t want to ask for something you couldn’t give,” you hedged, eyes down and picking at your nail beds.

andrei shook his head again, but his expression softened, closing the gap between you.

“i have been trying to date you since i came back, beautiful. but you have been hiding from me, even when you’re this close. i’ve been waiting on you.”

you stared up at him, eyes wide, hands dwarfed in his grasp. you couldn’t even begin to find the right words to say.

“let me show you, gorgeous,” he continued, one hand coming up to rest on your cheek. “let me cherish you how you deserve.”

“andrei…” you breathe. he bends down, captures your lips in a kiss so tender it makes tears well up in your eyes.

“it’s okay, pretty. we’re okay.” he kept mumbling assurances to you in between soft kisses all over your face, across your jaw and down your neck. you couldn’t contain your sigh as his faint stubble brushed against your neck, hands finding a gentle perch on his broad back. andrei pulled back the slightest bit, soft smile and mischievous eyes making your heart flutter.

“can i show you, my darling? or do you need to go home?” he teased, hands absentmindedly trailing up and down your sides.

“please, drei,” you plead, hand stretching up to the back of his neck to pull him back down to you. andrei doesn’t move a muscle, his own strength so much greater than yours, but you couldn’t complain because you got to watch his soft smile grow, eyes alight like he just scored the greatest goal of his career. he lifted you with seemingly no effort at all, laying you back down on his grey sheets, hovering above you, bicep bulging next to your head. it was distracting, but you couldn’t look away from those gorgeous eyes, locked on yours.

“can i come to the rink with you in the morning? want to finally see how my pretty girl skates. probably puts me to shame.”

you were pulled from your daze at that, searching his face and finding nothing but openness, happiness, satisfaction. but you still can’t help but ask, “are you sure? it’s an open skate. people will see.”

“see you ‘carve me up’?” andrei joked, caressing your face. that spring night felt so far away, a version of you that could never conceive of where you would end up. “i don’t care. just want to see you.”

you couldn’t hide the shock on your face. the pit in your stomach hadn’t exactly subsided, the heaviness of wasted time and self-admonishment lingering, but you tried to push it aside, letting yourself reveal a gap in the armor you’d woven so tightly around your heart. you wouldn’t be able to just let yourself fall overnight, but you could do this. you could give him an opening, a glimmer of warm sunshine on a cold winter’s night.

“sure, but we’ll need to go to bed soon. it really is extra early,” you conceded, hand raising to brush some of his hair back from his forehead.

his sweet smile turned that wolfish, boastful grin you knew too well, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“soon? maybe not, pretty girl. i have been waiting for this. might take awhile. but don’t worry, i know great stretches for sore muscles we can try in the morning, too.”

and, well, what else could you say to that?

———