#also that dazai ranted to mori about oda that way

[originalaccountname]

there is so much to unpack in such a little excerpt. This is from the exchange between Mori and Oda near the start of Dark Era.

[lotus-pear]

Can we stop acting like dazai was the devil. Like yes he did bad things but he was a child. He was 15 alone and in the mafia where althe was told to do was bad things. ALL dazai knew how to do is lie and deceive because it what he's always had to do.it's self preservation. Like??? When will people realize dazai wasn't a monster and was justa child brought up in an Unsafe and abusive environment. Behaviors are learned your aren't born with them. Dazai was a suicidal child just trying to survive all'he knew was manipulation and Iying because that's all he was taught. He abused akutagawa because that's all he was taught. And as he got older it's all he knows how to do. Obviously he's gotten better but he's still morally grey. And that's ok but it's not enough to call him a monster. hes trying so so hard to change, and even if he may not realise it or cling guiltily to his past, the entire prison arc shows how much effort hes put in to become a better person it isnt easy, growing up exposed to death/violence resulting in empathy and apathy issues, all while battling an emptiness inside thats slowly eating up ones will to live. hes genuinely trying to recover from that period of his life, and i cannot express how proud i am solely because of that. hes finally found a healthy environment, a family, and he deserves it along with so much more. he may be deemed as a “monster“ in the past, that cannot be erased, but he hates that part about himself too. being in the good or bad used to make no difference to him, but i strongly believe it does hate that part of him.  Dazai slander are fún and everything - BUT people seem to not get his character right. No, he's not an edgy boy. He genuinely wants to change for the best to make Oda proud, 'BUT HE ABUSED AKUTAGAWA’ , yeah, Akutagawa abused Kyoka and nobody is talking about how its litterally GENERATIONAL TRAUMA. Dazal was never raised correctly, he got raised by Mori and used by him to make him his right hand, maybe because of his ability, or he saw potential in him. He never fell parental Love nor being special to Someone except for Oda. "He LEFT Chuuya!!!“ ok and? Chuuya doesn't need him to live: Dazai LITTERALLY SAW PEOPLE GETTING KILLED/KILLING THEM ON THE DAILEY (AND HE WITNISSED ODAS DEATH - THE ONLY PERSON THAT MADE HIM WANT TO CHANGE.) his eyes at the age of 14, and Mori made him live in a shipping container. Obviously he is not gonna feel human after all this.

And about him and chuuya - the thing is they DO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. but nobody seems to care about chuuya other than the fact hes hot asf anf the fact that he is ’super mega gay for dazai 🥺🥺🥺’ because are we reading/watching the same series???? There’s SO MUCH to his character too!!!! But all everyone talks about with him is with dazai, chuuyas character is CRAZY WELL WRITTEN and everyone dumbs it down to ‘he’s an angry short boy with a god inside him and he’s mega gay for dazai and he’s also really hot’ like no - stfu he’s not actually super hot headed and it’s CANNON he’s usually pretty calm and collected. On the other side of the coin is that dazai DOES care about him - in Stormbringer ; Dazai literally willing gave Chuuya an option to either use corruption on Verlaine when he used his true form or to retreat and not do it, which gave a sense of Dazai giving Chuuya the choice to do what he wants without forcing him to, and the fact that when Chuuya used corruption, he was being injured badly to the point where Abahabaki was going to destroy Chuuya which FREAKED DAZAI OUT , and the fact that Dazai certainly believes that Chuuya is human shows that Dazai does care about Chuuya in certain ways without showing due to afraid of losing someone he cares about. and In age 15 Dazai, was willing to help Chuuya to find Abahabaki and defeat Rimbaud, along with stormbringer with him helping Chuuya to find out if he's human or not and to defeat Verlaine.

Ty for reading my rant 💞💞💞💞

i can't tell if this is attacking me or just a rant in general but anyway YESSSSS I 100% AGREE YOU ATE W THAT ANALYSIS BRIAR‼️‼️

[purposeless-goner]

I've seen a lot of people trying to get into the BSD light Novels and quite frankly you can read them in order but I do have a recommendation about the order I think makes more sense chronologically regarding the story.

So:

1. LN 3. The Untold Origins of the Armed Detective Agency.

2. LN 1. Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam.

These two take place prior to the beginning of the main timeline and are actually a great way of understanding Ranpo and the partnership between Dazai and Kunikida (also recommend LN 1 to anime only watchers because they mixed the first chapters of the manga with Dazai's entrance exam which takes place 2 years prior to the manga and they royally screwed up on Kunikida's characterisation by doing that)

3. LN 7. Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen

(the manga was good but I feel like you might understand Dazai and Chūya's dynamic and the difference of their relationship to both Mori and the Mafia once you read this)

4. LN 8. Stormbringer

(you might actually understand Chūya as a character after you read this one, dives a bit deeper into his relationship with Dazai, explains who Verlaine actually is and talks about stuff that's mentioned afterwards in the manga, like singularities)

5. LN 9. The Day I Picked up Dazai side A

(this happens at some point between LN 7 and LN 2, and helps you understand Dazai and Oda's relationship prior to reading LN 2, how Oda ended up in the Mafia and also a bit more dive into Dazai's character)

6. LN 2. Osamu Dazai and The Dark Era

(better than shown in the anime, allows you to see how Oda sees Dazai since it's written from his pov, a good dive into Dazai's character while in the mafia and why he actually left )

Once you finish The Guild arc

7. LN 4. 55 Minutes

8. LN 5. Dead Apple

(so, the first one is a bit crazy but actually dives a lot into Atsushi's character, explains weird phenomena in BSD regarding singularities and how Dazai isn't affected by certain abilities even without touch, how Yosano can actually use her ability on Dazai and I find it quite interesting, HG Wells is an interesting character as well)

(Dead Apple is entertaining and dives once again into characters and their abilities but also explains weird singularities again, also the bond between Dazai and Chūya, it also gets a bit weird towards the end in regards to things happening that might be hard to understand but the rest is easier to understand than in the movie adaptation)

9. LN 9. The Day I Picked up Dazai side B

(it's set in the alternate universe of LN 6. Beast and a great point to understand Dazai's actions and motivations in said light novel)

10. LN 6. Beast

(it should come with a warning that it's going to ruin your mental health for a while, an alternate universe of BSD, brings in the Book so you might one to read this during/after the cannibalism arc because it kind of explains a bit what the book does or how it kind of works, definitely needs a bit more explaining but it is good info before starting with the vampirism arc and all that stuff, the book is important and there's talk about singularities again. It's also cool to see how the same characters adapt to a different lifestyle, Akutagawa in the ADA, Atsushi in the PM, kyouka in the PM but with Atsushi, Dazai if he stayed in the PM, the ending will fully rip your heart out if the rest of the novel hasn't done it before that and I really recommend the manga adaptation of it because the art style is *chef's kiss* and heart wrenching)

Done with my rant now, you can still read them in their publishing order this is just my recommendation. Also, LN 9 is not out on paper yet and I think we only have fan translations online but it is definitely worth it, @popopretty has a really good translation of it.

And LN 7 is getting a manga adaptation which is also looking really good so you can check it out.

LN 5 has a manga adaptation as well as being a film and this one is not written by Asagiri but is still canon so you have that.

[a-simply-simping-simp]

Guess who's still crying about Beast? Me! I watched the movie and read the beggining and end of the light novel because I got lazy. Not expecting the end in the movie though. Spoiler drawing ahead and comments btw

Made me so sad. I was going to rant in another post, but I might as well do it here.

So, number one, the sugar cube scene was so adorable I literally cried. I mean it. Like I LITERALLY sobbed.

Number 2, Oda WHYYYYYYYY?! I'M LITERALLY CRYING WHILE TYPING WRITE NOW THINKING ABOUT IT. YOU ARE FRIENDS, YOU ARE, PLEASEEEE. DAZAI'S FACE WHEN HE PULLED THE GUN OUT IN THE BAR AND TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL HIM ODASAKU WAS LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE.

Number 3, When at the end of the movie, Fyoder was being a little rat and messed everything up, I wanted to vomit out of an array of emotions. I was confused, sad, angry, and just so dang overwhelmed. Like I was ugly crying five seconds ago cuz of Dazai and then this SEWER RAT came and made me confused. I'll get into him in anothe post.

Number 4, In the movie, when Dazai stabbed his leg to show Chuuya his commitment and how much he deserves his trust didn't make sense when I saw it, however, after I recently read the book and watched the play Julius Ceaser, I was like OOOOOOOOH. Dazai immitating Portia and Chuuya Brutus made me just sooo....wow.

Number 5, When it turned out that MORI was the new director I just- absolutley NOT. Do NOT put a pedophile in his perfect Utopia, Dazai WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Also, I thought he killed him the whole time. Just think about it. A pedophile in an orphanage. You know how if you're being sexually assulted or something, you're supposed to tell a trusted adult like a parentor a teacher? THESE KIDS HAVE NO PARENTS.

Number 6, Chuuya being locked up in that poor governemnt facility broke my heart. Just think about how many people are going to die? Like there is no way Chuuya Nakahara is going to succumb to a bunch of itsy bitsy chains. He' breaking out and killing everyone in there and then the agency. Convince me otherwise.

Number 7, I can't. I'll make an entirely seperate post for Chuuya too, but can we just talk for a second? He went crazy because Dazai committed suicide. He went on a whole rampage and it took 3 special ability resistance units to take him down. This is what happens when there is no Dazai when he uses corruption. But the REASON he went into corruption was just...wow. I always knew they had a complicated relationship but at the same time it was just so simple. Like, they hate eachother, but they also don't. They don't like eachother, but it's not like they don't either. It's not like they complete one another, but it's like one soul in two bodies. They're so simply complicated that if you asked me what their relation was, I'd just say, they're complications. Because in reality, their relationship is just so unexplainable. You need to see it to understand it. There are lovers, enemys, frenemies, friends, siblings, etc, but they fit into literally no category but they aren't strangers either. This is getting too long, so I'll make a different post about that.

Number 8, Chuuya pleaseeee don'ttttt. There is no need to attack the agency, my guy. He wants to avenge Dazai's death, but what is there to avenge? Dazai did suicide. He wasn't killed. Chuuya was so upset that he wanted to kill all the agency. I just....can't. It's kind of sad. This is also going to be really long if I go on, so I'll make another post about this topic.

Number 9, the way Chuuya just really couldn't understand made me wanna bang my head on the wall in tears. He truly couldn't think of why Dazai did it. He was kind of alright one second and then dead the next. The entire time, you can tell how little Chuuya was incorporated into the script he wrote. The ending for each one was different as the movie had him go insane and be put under governemnt care, while the light novel just left him to do his own thing. However, in both you can see that neither of them ever knew what was going on. Dazai never gave him a reason to why he killed himself. Everyone else seems to be going on like nothing happened or at least as if they know what happened and came to terms with it, but then he knows nothing. He was his bodyguard and right hand man and yet NOTHING. I'll get back to this in another post lol. TvT

So yeah. I cried a lot.

[fyorina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[sorcerersandskillusers]

The Odasaku Problem

Mori Ougai Sat at his desk pondering what he should do in this situation. He had been thrilled when Dazai had approached him with a new potential recruit; it was very rare for Dazai to propose any new members for the mafia but, whenever he did they always had unimaginable potential.

His most recent was a child named Akutagawa, who was already making great strides, although Dazai still seemed unhappy with his progress. This latest recruit was different however...

At first Mori had been absolutely ecstatic, this new recruit was famous throughout the underworld as one of the deadliest assassins to ever live in Japan.

 His skill was legendary. It was said that he had never failed to kill a target even. 

Fukuzawa Yukichi had acknowledged him as a highly dangerous enemy. 

 When he learnt about Oda Sakunoskue’s ability, he was speechless; it was too powerful. In the hands of the Mafia he could become an unstoppable weapon: crushing enemy organizations single-handedly; it was perfectly suited to everything from infiltration to assassination he could act as bait and never be taken by surprise; he would know if traps were set or when betrayal would occur his name alone would add to the mafias already fierce reputation.

Mori’s mind was positively dancing with ideas and plans for this new chess piece he had been handed, and it was all brought down with one simple sentence

 “oh, by the way, he refuses to kill anyone.”

Just like that Mori’s grand plans came crashing down; what an incredible waste he thought to himself. He could be one of my prize executives if such a stupid rhetoric (something he had come across far too often in this world) didn’t hold him back.

Mori first thought he would just have to find a way to break that resolve he had done so before. however once again Dazai stamped on his new idea,

“I'll give you a word of warning boss Do not make an enemy of Odasaku. he is a very interesting person but if he were to turn on the mafia, there would be a bullet through your head before any of the executives could get to you.”

And so for the next few years Oda remained at the bottom of the organization, he seemed content with simple grunt work however it caused Mori no end of agony to see such an incredible chess piece doing the work of a pawn.

The problems really started when Dazai became attached, he quickly began telling stories about “Odasaku-kun”, he would rant and rave about how fascinating he was, about how his face was so blank but his thoughts were so funny, whining about not being able to go drink with him, skipping work to spend time with him in some small bar.

This was deeply concerning for Mori.

He already had Dazai’s future carefully laid out; he know exactly how he wanted him to grow up in the mafia. 

Chuuya was meant to be that  attachment, Chuuya was meant to be his reason to stay. Mori had insured his absolute loyalty and if Dazai was attached to him then Dazai would also remain loyal to the mafia.

this new individual had thrown a wrench in all of Mori’s carefully laid plans, he needed to make him disappear.

He could not simply use Force, although he was fairly confident Chuuya could have defeated Oda in combat, he knew that if he sent an executive too off him 

that Dazai would catch wind immediately and seek to prevent it. 

It was still hard for him to accept that Dazai, that void so deep that even Mori couldn’t see the bottom; the darkest of the mafia, who could break the strongest wills and twist the purest intentions, would one day have found a glimmer of light.

Dazai would choose Odasaku over the mafia, he was sure of it.

And if they were to team up he didn't think even all the gifted in the port mafia would be able to stop them.

He needed to be subtle, but assassination wouldn't work either; Oda Sakunoskue was a former assassin and one of the best, his skill also made trying to ambush him and take him by surprise impossible.

 Mori needed a plan, a way to make it seem like he had no connection to Odasaku’s death, a way to teach Dazai the valuable lesson that attachment is foolish and only one's goal matters in the end.

Yes, he was sure that when Dazai finally Lost that Attachment he would realize this. 

Mori looked over the papers beside him he had heard from a former colleague in the war that in Europe there existed a military commander with the ability to see the future; it is said that this made him unparalleled in combat. 

His smile grew more sinister as the plan fully formed, he could get everything he needed out of this: The Gifted business permit, Dazai’s ultimate loyalty, getting rid of that painfully frustrating underling.

It was the perfect plan, now all that needed doing was putting it into effect.

Finally got round to doing some more writing,I really wanted to explore Mori's thoughts on the whole Odasaku situation and how he came up with his final plan.

ao3 link is here

[criyngcharlie]

Ramblings and ramblings and bsd au

Modern/high school bsd AU again yippeee

I already talked about the main family dynamics and about doa specifically, so this time I want to just rant mindlessly, some little things that are canon more dynamics and things I like that :D

First, Soukoku backstory (or something like that, dunno how to word it)

Dazai was an orphan since very young age, so he got to foster house to foster house for a very long time. In one of the houses he end up being neighbors with the Nakahara's and where he met Chuuya. They became friends rather quickly because liking to admit or not Chuuya was an outcast to the other children, specifically because of his birth mark (y'know the arahabaki symbols in Chuuya's face? Yup that's the birth mark) and Dazai was also not very popular between the children, that considered him creepy. They formed this new friendship together with a love for singing (and that's how Chuuya became the lead singer of the Black Lizard in the future, he even tried to make Dazai be part of the club but he deny it) Since Dazai was in the foster system he had to go to a new house soon enough, but him and Chuuya kept contact how they could, emails, phone calls once a month, or even letters at some point. One day Dazai cut the contact tho, his new foster family was... not the best (it was Mori, and also, the reason he denied the Black Lizard was because Mori ruined his passion for singing--) Chuuya was extremely worried about him and tried to look for him but nothing worked. But Dazai finally found a new and good family with Oda and Ango and his new siblings, and by coincidence, he got back to be the Nakahara's neighbor!

Now some about the agency! The book club was originally thought by Poe and Ranpo (they're childhood bestfriends) they wanted to make a book club to spend time together, make new friends and for Poe to have more time to write and Ranpo time to read, unhappily tho they ended up in different schools, but they didn't gave up on the idea and made the book club in each school! They also schedule "meetings about the club" all the time but is just an excuse for them to spend time together and Ranpo to read Poe's new tales. (Yes the book club in Poe's school is the Guild yippee)

Last rambling of the day!!! Now about Kunikida, Aya and Bram (the eccentric trio) How I said it before, Kunikida is like a father to Aya since their father practically abandoned them after their mother's passing. Kunikida deeply loves Aya of course but he knows that he has way more responsibilities than he was supposed to have. And one day, when the school decided to make a "Family Day", Kunikida bring Aya to the school, problem? She dissapeared suddenly-- Solution?she found the old teacher that ended up making a emotional bonding with the child in less than 30 minutes and now is determined to protect her with his life. Kunikida now has a new babysitter for his little sister

[dinosaurtsukki]

dating the port mafia’s medic

a/n: basically headcanons of port mafia members dating one of the organization’s medics who happen to be you. i just thought this would be cute and i’m craving fluff. also these are,,, really long.

feat. akutagawa, chuuya, and odasaku

akutagawa ryuunosuke:

you were the doctor that mori specifically assigned to him to help with his lung condition

even though akutagawa was supposed to have regular, weekly sessions he’d only come in like,, twice a month and that was after you texted mori that he hasn’t been visiting you

akutagawa isn’t all too comfortable with the fact that he has to take off his shirt so that you could put him in an x-ray gown or when you need to listen to his breathing with a stethoscope

but you’re incredibly patient with him and also the pay is good so you persist

at one point during one of your sessions, akutagawa grumbles about having to come to the clinic when he just wants to live long enough to make dazai proud

and you’re like ‘is that so?’

“personally, i’d feel kind of sad if you had to die so early”

that kind of gets akutagawa thinking. he can tell by the way you said it that you had no ulterior motives behind it

akutagawa: but,,, i'm your most troublesome patient

you: oh my god you think you're troublesome ??

you start to rant abt all the patients you had to treat before who didn't believe in vaccines or got their elbows stuck in weird places

akutagawa finds your stories really entertaining so he ends up enjoying and willingly going to his sessions with you

after that first fight with atsushi, you ended up taking care of akutagawa and patching up his body 

literal days of you just being at his bedside, worrying and hoping that he'll wake up and then you suddenly realize that maybe you have feelings for him

when akutagawa regains consciousness, he finds that he doesn't entirely hate the situation he's in because he gets to see you more often

he likes listening to more of your stories while you sit at his bedside. eventually he opens up with stories of his own (most of them are abt his missions so yeah)

akutagawa begins visiting your clinic more and one day he comes in even though he doesn't have a session and then agonizes over why the heck he did that

good guy senpai chuuya is basically all 'idk are you in love or something?'

to akutagawa it's utterly unacceptable and he hides his feelings for so long until you're the one who decides to confess to him

and to your surprise, he hesitantly asks if maybe you two would like to be in a relationship

you two are awkward about it at first. akutagawa doesn't really know if drinking tea at your clinic could be considered a 'date' but he does like these moments

both of you have pretty hectic schedules since m your patients are also mafia members and you have to be on-call all the time but akutagawa is really understanding

he likes seeing you in casual clothes but he also thinks you look good in a labcoat (he probably borrowed it when you were not looking to try it on)

because akutagawa has grown quite accustomed to your touch and initiates holding hands with you (in private ofc)

he's still not used to the idea of you taking care of him not just as a doctor but as his s/o but it makes a nice change for once

chuuya nakahara:

the first time he met you was after a mission when he was taking one of his subordinates to the emergency room of the infirmary

you were the doctor on-duty that night and the first time chuuya laid his eyes on you he was like 'damn'

who knew the mafia doctors were this hot amirite

ofc you were also kind of starstruck to see mafia executive chuuya nakahara in the emergency room but you had a job to do and a man was losing blood

you: what's his type?

chuuya: uh,, h/c hair, beautiful eyes, labcoat...

you: i mean... his blood type

chuuya's got it bad. after that night he couldn't stop thinking about that cute medic aka you

but he didn't even know what your shifts were so he LOOKS FOR YOUR CASE FILE IN THE RECORDS

it's like he's gonna commit a murder or something but no he's looking for information on you

the guy’s pretty impressed when he looks at your resume and definitely sees why you were hired to be a doctor at the mafia but that only makes him want to see you more

but questions is, how does he make it look like he was just ‘passing by the infirmary’ and not that he’s actively looking for you

tsundere boy is tsundere

because chuuya almost NEVER gets injured in fights and he’s got a reputation for that and now does he get himself injured on purpose just to see you?

well, the opportunity presents itself in the form of him and dazai fighting cthulhu aka lovecraft but we all know its cthulhu 

chuuya wakes up on a hospital bed to you checking in on him and he almost falls off the bed in shock

but then after he gets his bearings he realizes what an IDEAL SITUATION THIS IS

although it’s kind of hard to flirt with someone when you’re in a hospital gown with an IV infusion stuck to his arm

nonetheless, he finally decides to ask you out after his last day of treatment and you’re shocked of course but agree

although your first date ends up being rain-checked because a patient comes in a new mission for chuuya comes up

actually almost all your dates get rain-checked until after a mission, chuuya decides to visit your clinic with a bouquet of flowers just when you get off your shift

chuuya: are... you free?

you: yeah. are... you free?

both of you are too tired for a fancy restaurant date so you two end up at a cozy bar to share a drink

chuuya loves listening to your stories and talking to you. he literally has his chin on his hands listening to how you made a makeshift tourniquet out of your labcoat while you were on the field

both of you are really busy people but chuuya likes to stop by your clinic once in a while

you always have fresh flowers on your table because chuuya brings them for you

sometimes he’ll come home to you already tired and passed out 

oda sakunosuke:

the first time he met you was after a particularly rough mission and you were luckily there at the emergency room to treat him 

this guy had a concussion and needed stitches asap but instead he was asking you to treat his companions first 

you quickly treated him and let him rest and of course the first thing he asks when he wakes up is how everyone else is doing

your intrigued of course because you’ve never met a mafia member who was like him 

the second time you met him, odasaku actually brought someone from the enemy faction along because he didn’t think that leaving him to die was the right choice

he didn’t know if you would treat them because you were loyal to the mafia but you also had your own moral code as a doctor to treat patients no matter who they were

odasaku stuck around the emergency room knowing that it was going to take you hours to treat the man and when you come out, you’re surprised to see him there with a cup of coffee

the two of you end up sitting in the hallway and talking about all sorts of things. you love listening to how odasaku stopped killing so that he can fulfill his dream of being a writer

he on the other hand loves hearing about how you went through the hell that was med school because you were dedicated to saving lives

maybe odasaku doesn’t mind getting injured so much because that means he gets to see you but also you can’t help but feel worried about him

one time, one of the odasaku’s adopted kids gets really sick and the first person he ends up calling is you because he has no idea what to do 

to his relief, you show up right at the curry restaurant and are very much ready to help

odasaku admires how good you are with kids. even though they just met you, they’ve already taken a liking to your calm, sweet presence

you even pull out your stethoscope and let them take turns listening to each other’s heartbeats

until a kid walks up to oda to check his heartbeat and is like ‘uh,,, your heart is beating really fast’

cue all the kids singing “ODA LOVES Y/N, ODA LOVES Y/N”

you look up at oda and he doesn’t look away and now you know

after that day, oda asks if you would like to maybe have a drink with him or visit a cafe and you say that you would love to

odasaku loves to drop by your clinic because he’s such a caring boyfriend and he knows how stressed you are from your work

he even comes by in the morning to bring you your coffee and he memorizes your order

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi​

[akutagawasbitches]

Ahh yes another one to join this crazy fandom little one!! Haha jk jk, I would like to be the one to request, can I have head-canons for Dazai, Chuuya and Akutagawa as a significant other like how they act with their s/o in a relationship Go crazy with this one if you like, and have fun!

Ahh thank you, I’m so excited to join the fandom! I hope you like these, I kinda went off my personal interpretations rather than being super canon.

 Dazai

-        This man is a FLIRT but all that stops when you enter the picture

-        He fell head over heels for you the minute he met you

-        I view Dazai as someone who is attracted to kindness and strong moral (similar to Oda) so he loved you for your kind smile and sweet personality.

-        Even if you are sassy to him, he loves you all the same. He loves all of your personality quirks: your weird laugh, your obsession with random things, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, your bad habits of staying up too late etc., he loves them all.

-        I can’t see Dazai being an early morning person but I feel like he’d always make sure to organise lunch dates with his S/O whether its lunch at a café or just a small picnic in the park, he’ll always have lunch with his S/O

-        He’ll definitely cut down on the suicide jokes if they upset his S/O and overall his suicidal tendencies go down and suddenly he���s not admiring that bridge for its height but rather the way you look standing on it with the colours of the sunset illuminating your face.

-        I actually think Dazai isn’t a huge physical affection person at first. I think he’ll slowly build up to being more physically affectionate as he hasn’t really been physically affectionate with anyone before.

-        But once he’s gotten comfortable with it, he’s an cuddle monster. Always wanting to be touching you in some way whether its holding you hand, arm around your waist or leaning on you while walking, Dazai always has to be touching you.

-        100% big spoon but when he has nightmares, he’ll be the little spoon.

-        He’ll bury his face in your chest and hold you silently. Please stroke his hair and comfort him because this boy has seen some shit

-        Don’t ask him to open up though because he’ll shrink further back into his shell. You would have to wait for him to open up, Dazai isn’t someone who opens up willingly when asked.

-        Loves cooking with you, even if its more you cooking and him eating the ingredients. It makes him feel safe and loved, something so simple yet normal.

-        Doesn’t really plan dates out but always takes you out at least once a week on a proper date such as dinner or a movie.  

-        Gives you random gifts such as chocolate or flowers because he thinks you deserve it

-        On your birthday he’ll go nuts and throw you a huge surprise party with the help of the Agency, inviting all your family and friends. He’ll give you his present after as well as a few roses.

-        During arguments, his colder side can come out and he struggles with listening to your emotions properly.

-        Listen he was around Mori for a good chunk of time, he isn’t the best with dealing with emotions in a functional way.

-        But afterwards once he’s cooled down and figured out why you’re upset, he’ll buy you flowers to apologise and hug you murmuring apologies into your hair

-        Speaking of hair, wash his! It’s his favourite way to receive affection outside of cuddling. It makes him feel loved.

-        Will wax lyrically about his love to you in front of you and absolutely anyone. It gets to the point where Kunikida yells at him to shut up because he’s spent 20 minutes waxing about your beauty.

-        Overall, 100/10 boyfriend, he may have some flaws but he’s really trying to better himself for you

Chuuya

-        I view Chuuya as liking someone who is fiery, independent but also kind. He’ll love your fiery side as it means you’re passionate, your independence means he doesn’t have to worry but you r kindness shines a light on his dark world

-        Listen this man would spoil the shit out of his S/O

-        They want a new phone? They’ve got the latest one with all the upgrades and any accessories they need. New clothes? An entire wardrobe of clothes turns up at their doorstep.

-        But don’t think his love is purely materialistic, Chuuya shows his love in more ways than just spending money

-        He’ll massage his S/O’s feet after a long day, listen to them rant about menial things and brush their hair

-        I feel like Chuuya would be slightly hesitant about physical touch in public as he is a Port Mafia executive and needs to keep up his tough persona at all times but at home, he’s all for it

-        Braiding his hair, playing with his hair, cuddling him, lying on his lap while reading, leaning your head on his shoulder while watching a movie, he’s all for it.

-        Since he’s a busy man and has a erratic schedule, dates are hard to plan but at least once a week, he either takes you out to eat or cooks an elaborate meal just for you complete with wine and candles.

-        He’ll also take out on night drives through Yokohama or trips around when he has a free weekend

-        Goes absolutely all out for your birthday, reserving your favourite restaurant months ahead so you’re guaranteed a seat, massive bouquet of flowers alongside your present. He’ll also take you up to the rooftop of a local bar to watch the stars together.

-        Gives you flowers randomly because “nothing compares to your beauty” but flowers are close enough right?

-        When he has nightmares, he’ll cling onto you tightly to the point you almost can’t breathe. Gently stroke his hair and he’ll relax. Like Dazai he’s seen some shit and needs love and comfort sometimes

-        Loves getting gifts! If you make him anything even if its small, he’ll treasure it and feel loved.

-        Will never admit it but kinda wants the domestic life with you but knows its not possible

-        Baths together are his favourite form of self-care.

-        Wash his hair and he’ll melt.

-        When you two are arguing he has a hard time controlling his temper and is prone to outbursts.

-        After he’s cooled off, he’ll buy you your favourite candy as an apology and come back and apologise over and over again until you’ve reassured him for the 20th time its fine.

-        Listen he’s the little spoon when sleeping but big spoon when cuddling.

-        All abut big proclamations of love, he’ll lament about his love for you for hours if you asked (only in private though, in public or around any Port Mafia members all you’ll get is a quick peck on the cheek or a quick “love you”)

-        Overall, he loves you and is 100/100 best boyfriend. He’d die for you.

Akutagawa

-        I view Akutagawa S/O as being independent, kind but stubborn as you need to be with him

-        This man does not understand relationships at first. Being in a relationship with him requires a lot of patience/perseverance and helping him unlearn unhealthy and toxic mindsets given to him by Dazai during his training. This is where your more stubborn side comes into play but also your kindness will soften him up and eventually, he’ll start being more soft with you

-        Uncomfortable with physical affection due to his training and background so you’ll have to teach him that not all physical touch is bad. Slowly introduce him to the concept of loving touch and eventually he’ll reciprocate albeit a bit awkwardly.

-        I headcannon that while he’s uncomfortable with explicit physical affection in public, he’ll opt for more subtle forms such as pinky holding or tapping out love messages in Morse code on your hand while holding it rather than saying it out loud.

-        As you slowly introduce physical affection to him, he’ll be a bit grumpy and snappy but be patient and eventually he’ll enjoy it and reciprocate with small touches like hugs from behind while cooking

-        If you want a very cuddly Aku, cuddle him while he’s sleepy. This boy gives in and just silently basks in it.

-        Not super big of big proclamations of love but will do small things like make you tea or hold the door for you

-        Similar to Chuuya his schedule is erratic and unpredictable so date nights are spontaneous. Walks in the park at night, watching horror films, eating take out together and reading/discussing books.  Date nights are never ‘traditional’ but they are still special

-        Though for big dates like your birthday he’ll make a bit more effort and take you out to dinner or cook.

-        When he has nightmares, he’ll move around a lot and thrash. Hold him in your arms and gently whisper that he’s safe and other loving words and he’ll calm down. If he cries, don’t comment. Just hold him silently as that’s what he needs.

-        During arguments, he can be abrasive and cruel, but he doesn’t mean to be. It’s just how he was raised; he doesn’t know how to communicate emotions well.

-        After the argument, he’ll make you tea and apologise the best he can. While he’s not the best with words, his actions speak volumes with him running a bath and getting in it with you or cuddling you silently.

-        Big spoon while cuddling and while sleeping but if he’s having a nightmare, he’ll become the little spoon

-        Overall, he’s trying his best and loves you very much, 10000000/100000000 pls give this boy love he deserves it

[dapper-ships-herself]

Should you fight my f/os?

Tagged by @megane-shipping @rose-wine-selfships @firebird-inkheart

I have many f/os, so this isn't all of them but I still did a fair number of 'em.

Also the rating system confused me but I did my best.

Dazai: He looks pretty scrawny, and while he is a pretty good fighter fighter through skill he isn't the physically strongest opponent, but you still wouldn't be able to beat him. He'd come up with some sort of plan where you'd probably think you'd won but then you turn around and oop no Dazai won. How does that work? Who fucking knows.

No fighting Dazai. 2/10

Erza Scarlet: She will kick your ass with the power of friendship and her eighteen thousand swords. Are you kidding me? She's queen of the fairies, no way. Beating her up only inspires her to win for the sake of her guild.

No fighting Erza. 1/10

Shinobu Kocho: She will poison you with a smile on her face. Unless your name is Douma, I would not recommend (ouch).

No fighting Shinobu. 4/10

Chuuya Nakahara: if you're looking to get crushed by a manlet in a fancy hat, then go for it. He's quite possibly one of the strongest ability users out there, but tell him Dazai called him a nerd or whatever and he'll fly into a rage that you can either use to your advantage or will result in you being crushed faster.

No fighting Chu-tan. 1/10

Yosano Akiko: Holy shit what? You're going to fight her? She will hack you to pieces, put you back together, and then repeat, repeat, repeat until she has to go and catch a sale.

No fighting Yosano. 4/10

Howard Phillips Lovecraft: You have a chance so long as he continues to give into his tiredness, he may simply lay there while you beat the shit out of him. Make sure you keep him from going all eldritch monstrocity on your ass though.

Not advised to fight Lovecraft. 3/10

Edgar Allen Poe: He's baby, why would you fight him? I know his best friend is a raccoon and he looks like he hadn't been outside since he was a baby, but what would you accomplish by fighting him?

To remain a decent person no fighting Poe. 5/10

Mark Twain: He's allergic to wearing shirts properly and thinks he's all buff and stuff, but you can punch him in the eye and knock him the fuck out. His little doll friends ain't gonna do shit. So long as you get too close for him to snipe you, you've got this.

Fight Mark. 7/10

Margaret Mitchell: I would really rather you not, she's napping. If you did, though, be ready to get caught in your own personal tornado while she rants about restoring her families honor. Unless your name is Akutagawa, be careful.

Not advised to fight Margaret. 5/10

Higuchi Ichiyo: She's certainly not the most formidable opponent, but she would gladly cut a thousand bitches for the sake of getting senpai to notice her.

You could fight Higuchi but it's not advised. 6/10

Gin Akutagawa: You wouldn't even hear her coming. The thought of fighting her would be brand new and then whoops, you've got a knife to the throat. She's not a leader of the black lizards for no reason.

Not advised to fight Gin. 4/10

Beelzebub: There is a chance that he would literally eat you, but for the most part while he is a big, beefy demon, he's also a teddy bear; he'd probably let you punch him over and over with a straight face. Stay away from his food and you should be fine.

Maybe fight Beelzebub. 6/10

Mammon: On one hand, he is the second most powerful of his brothers, he could easily destroy you. On the other hand, boy gets beat up verbally and physically by his brothers every damn day and has a mountain of insecurities, poke at those and you could probably win. Or make him even more mad. It's a gamble with the avatar of greed, my guy.

Maybe fight Mammon but not advised. 5/10

Jae-ha: He's a quick fellow, and his aim with those daggers is pretty spot on, it'd be very difficult and your best chance would be to try and ground him so he can't use his dragon leg. Although, he's a pervert and would probably like getting beat up, so you could win simply by that

Not advised to fight Jae-ha unless he's feeling especially nasty: 5/10

Chain Sumeragi: She can literally make herself completely undetectable and then stick her hand through you to play with your insides, unless you can get past that somehow, you're fucked.

No fighting Chain. 3/10

Steven Alan Starphase: He will Esmeralda Blood Freeze you before you can even blink and the shatter you into ice cubes for his drink. He ain't afraid to get his hands dirty.

No fighting Steven. 3/10

The Happy Huntresses: They're an experienced team of top of their class huntresses; four badasses trained not only to fight people but also giant evil monsters.

No fighting the happy huntresses. 4.5/10

Meis and Gueira: I mean they look decently tough with those bikes and the armor and the fire, but everytime we see them in a fight they get their asses handed to them in like two seconds. Best to be equiped with a fire extinguisher or like some ice cubes to chuck at 'em.

Maybe fight them. 6/10

Aizawa Shouta: Your best bet is to catch him in the middle of a nap, but please be so careful not to wake him up, he's most likely be so cranky that he'd forget he's a hero and snap your neck.

Not advised to fight Aizawa. 5/10

Idia Shroud: His scrawny ass barely ever leaves his room, he hasn't lifted anything heavier than his phone ever, he's a flaming stick basically.

You could fight Idia. 7/10

Sesshomaru: He has very little mercy to spare and has killed a great deal of people and demons.

No fighting Sesshomaru. 2/10

Annie January: She is capable of blinding and throwing you across the room with a beam of light from her hands and can lift like thirty two times her bodyweight. Unless you also have superpowers, would not recommend.

Not advised to fight Annie. 5/10

Byleth: She's a skilled fighter on her own, but she also has an army of feral students ready to beat the shit out of anyone who messes with their proffessor.

No fighting Byleth. 4/10

Shatina: Her greatest joy is beating people up and watching them bleed, she steps on and torments even her closest allies on a near daily basis. She would crush you and the go right back to drinking.

No fighting Shatina. 4/10

Maeve: I'm actually not sure what kind of fighting ability she has, but why would you want to hurt a goddess?

No fighting Maeve. 5/10

Ban: He's a member of one of the strongest groups of fighters in the land, and he's able to almost immediately regenerate after any and all damage. Also, he's like 10 feet tall, what are you going to do? Chew on his ankles until they snap off? They grow right back.

No fighting Ban. 4/10

Joxter: Fucking feral cat man, too lazy to fight back. Kick his ass.

Fight Joxter. 8/10

Shigure Sohma: Please fight Shigure, please. I will put my bet on you and watch.

Please fight Shigure. 9/10

Vodka: She's used to fighting giant fallen angels, she'd have no trouble kicking your ass and looking good while doing it. Also, she could simply send her hawk Andre to peck out your eyes before she even has to do any work.

Not advised to fight Vodka. 5.5/10

Jordan 'JD' Davies: They're the Jersey Devil. Literally, the Jersey Devil. They'd burn you to a crisp with their fire powers. But, your chances of victory aren't zero if you could find a way to deal with that. They're strong, but you could find a way with a fist fight. Fuck knows they deserve to be fought.

You probably shouldn't but fight JD anyways. 7/10

Zoro: You're going to fight a guy who wields three swords? One of which he sticks in his mouth? He's clearly crazy. Also I'm pretty sure he cuts a mountain in half at some point or something like that? So there's that to take into consideration. You're best bet would be to also be amazing with swords.

No fighting Zoro. 3/10

Nami: She's not the most powerful out of all of all of her crew, but if you beat her you will leave afterwards and notice that your wallet and all your valuables that you had on you are missing and she's already sailing away.

You could fight Nami but you will be poor afterwards. 7/10

Mollymauk Tealeaf: Hasn't he been through enough?

No fighting Molly please. 5/10

Zora: She will turn you into a literal baby, how do you plan on beating her up as an infant with your chubby lil baby hands?

No fighting Zora: 4/10

And I wanted to include some familial too

Yukichi Fukuzawa: Have you seen him fight with a sword? You won't even see him draw it.

No fighting Fukuzawa. 2/10

Ogai Mori: He will trick you into thinking he's merely a simple, friendly neighborhood physician, and then the moment your back is turned there will be a scalpel buried deep in it. Also, he has a demon baby at his command.

No fighting Ogai. 2/10

Kouyou Ozaki: You might think you're sneaking up on her, but her Golden Demon will cut you down without her even needing to look away from admiring the flowers and sipping her tea.

No fighting Kouyou. 2/10

Oda Sakunosuke: HASN'T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

No fighting Oda PLEASE. 4/10

Ranpo Edogawa: While he has eaten nothing but processed sugar since the day he was born, he will eviscerate you with his words and leave you too mentally beaten to lift a finger. Stuff your ears with some cotton and kick his scrawny ass. The rest of the detective agency will come after you, though.

Not advised but go ahead and fight Ranpo. 5/10

Yumeno Kyusaku: So much as look at this child wrong, much less lay a finger on them, and I will be the one fighting you.

NO FIGHTING YUMENO. 0/10

Lio Fotia: I know he looks like a dandy who was abandoned and raised by a biker gang, but he is also the strongest known burnish. The only thing saving you is his code against killing.

Not advised to fight Lio. 4/10

Laxus Dreyar: He's an asshole, and I completely understand wanting to fight him, but he is jacked as shit with the power of lightning at his finger tips.

It's not smart but I would like to watch you do it anyways. 2/10

Noctis Lucis Caelum: He'd rather fish than fight you, but he is capable of taking down giant monsters and mini armies with the ability to teleport. Tell him Hot Topic is going out of business and he'll crumble.

Not advised to fight Noctis but eh maybe you could. 4/10

Pretty sure all the people I would've tagged have already done it? So do this if you want to.

[mysaldate]

On the topic of BSD mental issues..

Because a lot of people in this fandom just LOVE to bestow their own mental problems on characters and even go so far as to claim not a single BSD character is mentally alright, I went on a little rant to debunk this bulshit of a claim. If you’re one of those who support the “everyone is mentally ill because I said so” theory, don’t even bother reading this, please, and save us both the time.

If you do read, however, please keep in mind those are just my opinions and analysis and why I personally find the claim that everyone is mentally ill bulshit. You’re free to believe what you want but I’ve had multiple people come spurting out insults at me simply for not believing every single character is mentally diasbled.

First, our beloved ADA Atsushi - He's actually doing really well. Sure, he's not 100% ok but we were given no serious childhood trauma impacts (except for flashbacks that don't really... do anything to him mentally except for motivating him to do better which is, you know, not a sign of mental illness), he doesn't have self-destructive tendencies, he doesn't feel like he owes the society anything but he doesn't slip to nihilism either. His motivations are humane and sane and relatable. I mean, if anyone told you your friends would be in mortal danger if you stay with them, wouldn't you try to get away from them too? Dazai - Ok, Dazai is far from stable. He still handles his issues surprisingly well though and his constant suicide attempts are really played off as a joke, which is not the best way to handle them but it takes a lot of seriousness from it and kind of makes it hard to believe it's what he actually wants to do with his life. Especially since there are times where he goes out of his way to make sure he stays alive (Dead Apple being just one example). Kunikida - Arguably one of the most stable characters in the show. Some people claim he has OCD but have you ever seen an actual OCD patient? His love for schedules and hard time when they can't be kept is something that runs in my family and nobody has ever been diagnosed with OCD. People need to realize that having your life planned out is not a mental illness. Yosano - I'm a little more benevolent about Yosano, especially since she has a more psychotic side to her and she seems actually damaged by her childhood but I stiil stand my point that she is doing extremely well for someone who supposedly has a mental illness. It's almost as if the "insane" side of her was purposedly overblown for comedic purposes. Ranpo - I know a lot of people say he's autistic but I don't agree with that hc. Why? Well, I have a classmate who's not autistic and she's exactly like him. She's smart, almost genius, has great deduce skills and brilliant crime-solving abilities (tested multiple times with Black Stories or whatever that game is called in english) but she is unable to live on her own. She knows close to nothing about real life, skills used for everyday functioning and as for public transport, she only learnt how to use it recently and she's almost 19 years old. I also have an autistic friend who specifically said he'd find it insulting to hear that Ranpo is supposedly autistic. Tanizaki - I'm not sure what to say here, Tanizaki is a normal guy. Nothing special about him. He's willing to go great lengths for his little sister but I think anyone with younger siblings can relate to that. At least anyone who cares for their younger siblings. Kenji - Go on and tell me how Kenji of all people has a mental illness, I dare you. And if you pull out his cheeriness, you're obviously just too depressed to fathom that some people might actually enjoy life. Fukuzawa - Again, one of the most stable characters in the series. Say what you will but he's not unstable and his ability to stay calm at almost any situation except for when his kids are in danger is just further proof of this. Kyouka - I'd say she might have issues. My afforementioned autistic classmate pointed out that she feels autistic to him so there's that. Also her childhood visibly screwed her over. However, she's still surprisingly stable and normal despite all of that so while she might have some issues, they are greatly balanced by her strong will and natural personality. Naomi - I wouldn't say Naomi is 100% ok in the head but not to a point where I'd claim an actual mental illness. Sure, I'm not a doctor but nor is anyone who diagnoses her with whatever it is they diagnose her with. Haruno - And exactly what is wrong about Haruno? She's cute, positive, cheery, hard-working and supportive. And she gets scared in situations that invoke this. Literally NOTHING weird.

Next up is our dear Port Mafia Akutagawa - No denying it, Aku has serious issues. Again though, he's doing far better than most people with similar problems but that could just be due to him letting his frustrations out via murder. Chuuya - No issue found here. Sure, he's a little short-tempered but that's about it. A lot of people are short-tempered without being mentally ill. And he could be portrayed with some serious issues due to his origin and past. Gin - Do we even know enough about her to diagnoze her? All we know is that she's silent, a little shy and that she's always on odds with Tachihara. Make me a diagnosis from that. Higuchi - Aside from her massive crush on Aku, there's nothing weird about her. She probably picked the wrong job but she's willing to work hard anyway to earn her place there,, which is not exactly typical for people with mental illnesses. Hirotsu - STABLE PERSON. Just... what else is there to him? He is literally the voice of reason who commands the black lizard solely because he can actually keep them under control. Geez, there is literally nothing linking him to any mental problem! Kajii - This guy's got issues, no denying it. And I won't even say he could do worse because obviously he could but he's fairly close to being the insanest (is that a word?) he can get. Kouyou - Oh look, ANOTHER completely stable person. I mean, come on, she's been an executive since Dazai and Chuuya were 15, that's seven years. Clearly she couldn't hold her position if she weren't stable. Not to mention, we saw her being stable in stressing situations so. many. times. Elise - She's an ability. No comment. Mori - Yes, he has his issues. But he's the hypercompetent Mafia boss who stayed in charge for a very long time already and there's no sign of anyone overthrowing him any time soon, nor planning to because he's just a great leader, something he couldn't be if he was mentally ill. Oda - Do I even need to elaborate on this? Oda is very probably the sanest person we got, one who sees the wrongs of his past and does his best to overcome them and repent, all of which goes without him being depressed or self-loathing in the slightest. Randou - This has been talked about a lot. Randou is sensitive and impulsive and sometimes acts on emotions rather than rationallity. None of that makes him a mentally ill person. It just makes him a person, a human being we can all relate to. Ace - Ace is a selfish human being who thinks too highly of himself and is manipulative and abusive. Is that a problem? Yes, obviously. Is that a mental illness? Not necessarily and more likely no than yes. He does things for his personal gain and everything went his way for far too long for him to expect it to go any other way. And as we all know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutelly. Q - Does anyone really think Q is sane?

Now for the group that so many people dislike it’s honestly sad, the Guild Francis - Francis is, first and foremost, a very loving husband and father. He goes on this insane mission to Japan to obtain a mystical object he believes is real but never got any deffinite proof of. Is he naive? Perhaps so. And after he loses, he gets depressed and broken because he finds out his wedding ring disappeared, probably because his wife did something. That breaks him. And honestly? He has every right to break down. It's understandable and human and it does not make him mentally ill. Louisa - While yes, she is very shy and some argue she has some sort of anxiety disorder, all of this can be explained by the fact that she's practically a child. She's 18 dammit. Who could leave their home country at 18 only with an organization of older people, who also all seem very sure of themselves, while having no combat ability and nothing to really bring to the table? If she were mentally weak, there's no way she'd go looking for Francis after his fall, it's actually more likely she'd hurry back home, probably with tears and fear of being arrested if she were to stay in Japan for longer. Margaret - Name me one thing that makes you think Margaret of all people would have a mental issue. One thing. Most of her screentime is her being a vegetable. And while that is certainly a health problem, not a mental health one. Nathaniel - Hey, he was completely ok before meeting Fyodor. Being religious is not a mental health problem and f you if you say otherwise. John - Again, nothing unstable about John. He's not even that selfish, doing what he can to support his family and even picking up the remainings of the Guild to keep the people together and give them new hope because, y'know, hope is very important to people. Lovecraft - He's not even human. You can't apply human mental health logic to him. Herman - We've seen him for how much... 2 minutes total? And even from just that, he seemed like a calm and composed guy. No sign of mental problems whatsoever. Mark - He's hyper, that's what people say at least. But is he really? Kind of hard to believe when all we've seen of him is two scenes of adrenalin rush, one scene where he tries to lift the spirits of his coworkers and one scene where he just decides to go back home because this adventure is obviously over. No sign of mental illness here either. Lucy - A little more visible traumatic impact than with Atsushi and some abandonment issues, which are completely understandable and relatable. Not necessarily a mental illness. Poe - Ok so Poe doesn't feel well in company of others and he is a little psychotic when he gets too into his self-assigned role but 1) introverts are not mentally ill and 2) it's completely natural to get carried away when we witness the person we believe wronged us getting some karma back.

The one group that appeared for such a short time, yet everyone seems to love them, the Rats Fyodor - The most obvious god complex, clearly. He's not sane but he's stable so there's that. Nobody says he's ok, he's clearly not. But he's composed and smart enough to not let his issues control him. Ivan - Part of his brain is literally gone. He's not ok. he can't be. And unless part of your brain is missing too, you physically can't relate to him. Pushkin - Actually a stable, understandable character. Weak men are known through all of history to be the causes of major drama simply because their complexes over being weak lead to them finding joy in torturing the strong. It's not a mental illness, it's just bad character. Oguri - Clearly, Ogugu has issues. Call it survivor's guilt or PTSD or whatever you want, he has issues. Nobody is denying that. Still, he's doing fairly well when not desperatelly trying to seem evil.

I do not feel like doing the Hunting Dogs for the sole reason of me not liking them enough to focus on their mental states but they are pretty much lab rats, artificially enhanced humans and that alone should be enough to explain why I don’t believe in applying normal psychology to them. As for the Decay of Angels, there’s still much more to learn about them so I won’t get into that just yet. And when it comes to the governmental agents, I haven’t read the novels so I only know a bit about Ango and I honestly don’t see how anyone could think Ango has a mental illness.

I repeat again, these are my opinions, based on my experiences and what I’ve studied about mental illnesses (because believe it or not, I study about these things quite a lot). It doesn’t fit except for Tumblr romanticised versions of them and even those are iffy. You’re free to agree and disagree with all of this or with just certain parts but please don’t feel required to share your thoughts, I frankly don’t much care.

With that I bid you goodbye, at least until another thing prompts me to make a long-ass analysis almost nobody will read, nor care for.

[its-jijii]

dazai returning to the mafia

okay hi im slow at analyzing characters because i actually have to open the manga but writing about possibilities of dazai returning to the mafia requires not a lot of actually looking at stuff. so ya below is some rant analysis thing for @srta-blackdeutsch !! kinda recent manga spoilers but also not rlly

When considering the possibility of Dazai returning to the mafia, it’s important to look at why he left in the first place. From our understanding, Dazai left in order to fulfill Oda’s wish of becoming a good person, and to be on the side that saves people.

Four years have passed since he left the mafia, two of those spent working at the ADA as a detective. He definitely works on the side that saves people, but I don’t know that Dazai is a good person yet. His continual manipulation and abuse (though not often physical) shows that he still has a ways to go in order to improve. His lacking in attempts to be a good person indicates that he doesn’t exactly want to be a good person. It seems he is only doing it out of respect and care for Oda’s wish.

His little to no improvement regarding how he treats people and views the world also indicates that it wouldn’t be hard for him to switch back. He still has mostly the same views and ways he goes about things, although now his plans and actions lack killing and too much physical violence. Putting others and himself at risk is still no problem to him, again backing up that he hasn’t changed much for the better.

Although I am unsure about how much he cares about the members of the Agency, it can be assumed that he cares about them to some degree, as his plans are mostly oriented toward saving the Agency or Yokohama. While he might care about them not being killed, they also might not be a very strong motivator to stay on the good side. Dazai’s one acknowledged friend in the mafia was Oda, but since he is dead, he has no one he really wants to return to (from what I’ve gathered at least). He seems to dislike Mori and Chuuya, and still treats Akutagawa with contempt.

While there are many scenarios that could lead to Dazai returning to the mafia, I can only guess at so many. One would be that the Agency was recently saved by the mafia in exchange for one Agency member to join the mafia. Although they tried to play dirty and take Yosano, she was off limits. The mafia’s next best asset in the Agency would be Dazai. The other members may not have extremely useful abilities, or have morals and are against violence and killing. That is not true about Dazai. His ability and leadership was shown to be useful to the mafia, on top of his genius. The Agency has Ranpo, so exchanging Dazai probably wouldn’t be against their best interests either. I say that because he is a pretty lousy worker and causes a lot of trouble. While he is very intelligent and his plans help a lot, again, they still have Ranpo. They might prefer a genius with morals and lack of violence or bad past to Dazai.

Another scenario I can think of is bribery or manipulation. Although there isn’t much Dazai seems to care for in the world, Mori is intelligent and knows Dazai pretty well. I’d wager that Mori has some knowledge and the power to grant whatever it is Dazai wants (other than death).

Another manipulative kind of situation would be threatening the Agency. Assuming that Dazai does care about the Agency members and their wellbeing, the mafia threatening to kill them unless Dazai rejoined could motivate him. The mafia is powerful and large in number, and while the Agency has Yosano and other strong ability users, they’re not invincible.

Contrary to threatening Agency, they could also offer a peace deal. While the mafia and Agency are relatively at peace, they are still not friends, and would easily turn on each other if the need arose. A promise to not attack the Agency if Dazai rejoined could potentially motivate him to leave. For example, Akutagawa has somewhat of a violent grudge against Atsushi. Even though the mafia has no reason to kill Atsushi, Akutagawa continuously attacks him and promises to kill him. Eliminating that threat in order to get Dazai to rejoin could also work.

thank you for reading! these are just some of my thoughts on the matter and things ive gathered from the manga and anime. the beast AU throws a whole new perspective on dazai and the mafia, of course. i previously read the summary for it but have yet to read any additions, so i believe that my thoughts on it would be unfinished and incorrect. 

also despite writing all of this i find it unnerving to read back at my analysis that i type with nice grammar and sentence structure and then. when im just talking abt other shit but use 0 grammar its weird okay bye and ty

[corruptedsorrows]

what do you think of chuuyaxdazai? chuuyaxatsushi? chuuyaxakutagawa? chuuyaxyasano? chuuyaxranpo? chuuyaxkunikida? chuuyaxtachihara? chuuyaxango? chuuyaxtsujimura? chuuyaxodasaku?

   Heck that’s a lot of ships anon. I guess the easiest way would be to put them in a sort of number ranking and explain my reasoning, yes? Let’s go with that. 

   So the range is 0 - 10, 10 is OTP/intensely shipped and loved, 0 is absolute NOTP, don’t bring it near me with a 20 foot pole. Sound good? Alright let’s go! 

(read more because this is a titan of a post)

ChuuyaxDazai

Hnnngh… my grandmaster of BSD ships. I don’t think it should come as much surprise to anyone here that this is my OTP, ranking an easy 10/10 ship. There is so much complexity and depth to these two I could rant for hours, but I’ll hold my tongue. I will say at the very least, with this being my OTP I am honestly quite choosy about who I open my heart to with it.

I want to explore all facets of this ship, not just jump straight into romance and smut (although yes, I do like it). More than anything I want to explore the drama between them. I want to have fun shenanigans of teasing and their childish banter. I want Chuuya to understand the shit that goes through Dazai’s head and pull him back from the cliff he’s drawn to–if only for a moment. Chuuya knows how much his head tortures him now, he understands that after having spent so long together. He knows he absolutely isn’t the cure Dazai needs, but he can’t help longing for it. The double edged sword of always being the one passed over for Dazai certainly doesn’t make admitting what he feels towards the man any easier to understand. Why should he want to be involved with the person he’s always being compared to? 

This sort of depth is what I’m looking for in anyone that wants to RP this ship with me. I want to dive into the core of SKK and swim in those troubled waters. I want them to fight and scream at each other, to reach their limits and break down as the finally have their masks shattered. These two know each other to such a depth–even with all of their bad blood that they can still understand each other’s thoughts and actions without speaking on it. They can still trust each other with their lives and know that even though everyone else they thought they could trust–that may have even shown kindness towards them, has let them fall. No matter how badly these two fall out with each other, they’ll never let the other fall past the point of being saved. At the end of the day they’ll be the one outstretching their hands to catch each other.

ChuuyaxAtsushi

I WANT TO RP WITH AN ATSUSHI SO FRICKING BADLY. As the brutality of SSKK I want Chuuya to mentor Atsushi and work with him on accepting his ability. Chuuya’s gone through so much of the same strife and struggle I think these two could understand each other very well. Granted, they’d probably clash on the surface given how little patience Chuuya has for those too afraid to fight (it’s the Port Mafia way), but knowing Atsushi’s fears about hurting others with his ability and being afraid of it he understands very well. He knows what it’s like to feel like a monster, to be transformed into something when everyone else’s ability is merely an extension of themselves. It’s different when you become something instead of wield it. 

I want these two to have these talks so badly, and I sincerely hope Kafka will give us this content because I think Atsushi could stand to grow so much under Chuuya’s guidance. Again, like Akutagawa I view these more on a familial/mentor relationship, but I think unlike Akutagawa, Chuuya would be able to dote on Atsushi more and be allowed to express himself in more heartfelt ways–like hugs and gentle hair brushes… things like that. I’d put these two at 6/10. 

ChuuyaxAkutagawa

Oh Akutagawa… while I don’t really ship these two, I like to think of Chuuya as something like the replacement for Akutagawa. I don’t think Chuuya did a very good job considering how much Akutagawa still pines for Dazai’s attention, but Chuuya understands that pinning at least. He knows how painful it was for Akutagawa when Dazai left suddenly, and seeing how Dazai’s effectively replaced them all with ADA equivalents must hurt like hell to him. I love having Chuuya as a source of comfort for Akutagawa, but I don’t romantically ship them together. This would be more of a familial/mentor relationship and I prefer it that way between them. 4/10.

ChuuyaxYosano

I WANT THESE TWO TO GET PLASTERED IN A BAR TOGETHER! Chuuya and Yosano would be THE BEST drinking buddies and no one can tell me otherwise! I think these two have decent potential as romantic partners–but there’s a huge problem between them–and that would be Mori. Yosano can’t stand the idea of him and Chuuya has dedicated his life to servitude under him. There would be so many arguments and fights over this that it would be a serious point of contention between them. 

I would love to see though… if one day they got on well enough for Yosano to truly see the damage Corruption has done to Chuuya. It’s something she wouldn’t be able to heal from how long its existed in his system. She could of course heal him if he were in a state of Corruption that lasted long enough to put his life in jeopardy, but otherwise Chuuya would be one of the few cases where she simply wouldn’t be able to heal someone and could only watch them waste away with each use like a fatal disease. What sort of affect would that have on her I wonder? 6/10.

ChuuyaxRanpo

Ok this is admittedly a guilty ship for me. I honestly didn’t realize how much I would ship this until I actually started RPing here and got to interact with an amazing Ranpo. I think it’s enjoyable because in many ways Ranpo is like Dazai as far as intellect is concerned. While Chuuya doesn’t have background with Ranpo, the man is able to easily cut through Chuuya’s bullshit and pride in order to get to the heart of what Chuuya is really feeling. And he teases Chuuya about just as badly and as a MUN I’m horribly weak to my muses being teased. I would put these two at about 8/10? 

As much as Ranpo is able to give Chuuya by means of healing and growth, I’m not sure how much Chuuya would be able to give Ranpo in return. He’s certainly not the best intellectual companion, but maybe that’s what Ranpo finds amusing. He can indulge in simpler things and not have to overthink all the time.

ChuuyaxKunikida

I don’t think Chuuya would ever meet any of Kunikida’s ideals so 0/10. No, I’m kidding! I think these two would fit really nicely together as work friends–even though they’re on opposite sides. They have one extreme headache in common and it would be nice for them to just chat out their frustrations over drinks at a bar. Kunikida may just have to step down from his high horse a bit to be able to stoop to casual conversation with the enemy. I’d give them a 2/10. I’m not much for a romantic ship for them, but friendos? YES PLEASE!!!

ChuuyaxTachihara

At first I was like, ah… they’re good bros. Just what Chuuya needs, a best friend that he can confide in. And then Tachihara was revealed as a spy and member of the Hunting Dogs, betraying Port Mafia and I just tiorewihtwfoilahflidu. CHUUYA APPARENTLY ISN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS OR FAMILY JFC. When’s Kouyou handing in her notice at this rate?! However, Tachihara’s leaving of Port Mafia, and his compounded feelings towards them definitely added a nice level of spice for me with this ship, giving it room to have less bromantic feelings and more romantic. 

I enjoy them as an angst ship and I so yearn for that confrontation between them. I enjoy ships that have a lot of work to be done and aren’t smooth sailing–but there’s potential. There has to be some foundation there that holds them together, and in this case it’s that former friendship. So for these too I’d now say that they’re at 6/10.

ChuuyaxAngo

This is quite honestly a ship I struggle to understand as far as how it would work. I see how they could get on with being mutually misunderstood by both their organizations and suffering as a result of their abilities but Chuuya has so much animosity towards Ango for all that he has done and what he represents by working for the Special Abilities Division. Hell, Ango has even referred to Chuuya by his number, making him feel even less human when he already struggles with that concept so much in his life. I truly don’t see these two working together and think they would be far better off with others. 2/10.

ChuuyaxTsujimura

In perfectly good honesty I have not read the spin off novel for the Special Ability Division. However, Chuuya would likely feel very similar to her in the way he does Ango. Chuuya HATES the government with a burning passion for what they put him through. While Tsujimura does seem to have a considerably bigger heart, Chuuya would likely not be able to stand her due to her affiliation not only with the Division, but working directly with Ango as well. Strangely enough though, I do think her concern for Chuuya’s well being would warm his heart quite a bit. It’s rare for anyone to show compassion towards the danger he throws himself into so… on that merit alone it gives her quite an advantage: 6/10

ChuuyaxOdasaku

Again, Chuuya once more doesn’t get on with someone in this listing. It’s an unfortunate pattern. He blames Oda for convincing Dazai to betray the organization and leave, so Oda is in his own way a traitor in Chuuya’s eyes. However, he can also see how Oda’s influence has changed Dazai for the better, and he’s grateful for that. Chuuya’s feelings towards him went from jealous friend, to enemy, to a father figure he wished he could’ve had. Dazai was very lucky to have had someone to teach him in his life for so long. So if anything, it would be more of a paternal/familial ship with Oda and it would certainly be complicated. I’d place this at about… 3/10?

[raven-rein]

The Book, Dazai’s Nullification Ability And Its Implication

Analysis and a small theory about the Book, the current world-rewriting thing going on in the manga and the role of Dazai in all of that mess. Spoilers for the Beast novel.

Today, @looking-for-stray-dogs uploaded the summary and excerpts of the novel and I must say hoo boy that’s a ride even as a summary.

We finally got a piece of the true nature of the Book’s ability. Unlike what is already established in the manga, the Book can’t just pull out an alternate timeline out of some hypothetical ass, but the Book is basically a box for the Schrödinger's cat. It’s a melting point of every timeline, every possible world that came from the outcome of every choice.

It’s the event horizon of the universe itself.

And Dazai is in the middle of it all. Because of No Longer Human being a nullification Ability, the Book doesn’t affect him in a way that allows him to jump in between worlds with his memories intact. This is, in fact, the basic foundation of the Beast Novel.

In the novel, Dazai has gotten his hands on the Book and used it to look for a world where Oda is alive and he stays there to ensure that it will stay that way no matter the sacrifice--whether it be the only dear connection Akutagawa has, Atsushi’s happiness or his own life. It’s implied that he has absorbed many Dazais’ memories to find that the world of Beast is the only one where Oda can live. IEverything that happened in the novel is done for the singular purpose of keeping Oda alive and happy.

(I also find it very interesting that Dazai implied it’s not him who finally kicked Mori’s bucket, but that’s a rant for another time. )

The implication is that there’s a possibility that our Dazai in the canon timeline has managed to retrieve the memories from the other Dazais just like Beast!Dazai did. This will explain, to a degree, his almost eerie capability of looking through deception and planning for the future. (Exhibit A: catching Fyodor with the help of Fitz).

Now, the mess that is the manga. What’s currently happening in the manga right now is basically someone copy-paste-ing another timeline into the canon reality. This is the reason why everyone’s memories is screwed up; they’re people living in that other world where the ADA has been pasted into. The Agency really were the criminals in that world!

Knowing the nature of The Book, this situation is actually reminiscent to Ranpo’s in Poe’s book.

The main character is the killer but he ceases to exist when Ranpo replaces him. All the while, Ranpo and Yosano doesn’t remember what is happening in that world before they came to be; they only remember the original world they came from. This, I think, is what’s happening in the current manga.

The copy-pasted ADA from original world replaced that world’s without holding the memories of that world’s version of them.

We can also conclude, then, that the Dazai of this copy-pasted reality (who is relaxing behind bars while his comrades’ having their car split into two) now holds the memories of both worlds because of No Longer Human.

My hypotheses for future chapter is that he will be the one to extract the ADA from the mess they’re in right now, either by going down there himself or getting the Port Mafia to do the deed. No Longer Human might be the key to either mop up the mess or return to their original reality.

[chom-raaa]

A long winding commentary on Home is Where the Heart Is Ch14 (by setosdarkness)

@athina39 whoops this got really out of hand…

This week a lot of my favorites fics have updated and I’m like hmmm HIWTHI will probably update any time now. I have zero self-control when I read this fic, so I spent my whole break, and most of my commute reading. And most of my evening to write this because I did not expect it  to be so big (^v  ^;)

“…I could hear the number of exclamation points on that. Is that not acceptable?” Tachihara is so adorable, and I love how he’s similar to Atsushi when it comes to Akutagawa, and how Chuuya learned “life skills” from Atsushi lolololololol!! But dammit Chuuya, so clueless, thinking that Tachihara is “such a nice guy” and a “great kouhai” even though he’s acting like Atsushi, even though he knows Atsushi is madly in love. But then I guess Chuuya doesn’t see why someone would love him Q.Q Also, I like the mention of how Chuuya could predict Tachihara’s response “even if he doesn’t have Flawless.” The way flawless and Oda just kind of slip into his thought process kajsdhfajks

I love how Chuuya’s apartment has become all colorful and vibrant with flowers and nice things jdaklhfdkjadshf and DAZAI IS JUST A PART OF IT!!!!

And when the waitress was smiling at Chuuya for dabbing his napkin at Tachihara’s face and he assumes it means she’s approving of that “normal action”, because he thinks it’s normal when Dazai does it. Because apparently he’s not anything special to Dazai so what Dazai does with him is normal, not anything particularly special CHUUYA PLEASE

Also I think everyone reading this fic has adopted Higuchi’s dying seal sound *nods*

Chuuya’s still concerned about his little outing with Dazai after his date awwwwwwww

Dazai knowing Chuuya’s schedule better than him, making all these arrangements for him (“blackout curtains and the hypoallergenic bedding” whooooa), practically managing his life for him what a waifu <3 I also love the thing where Chuuya throws forks and knives at Dazai who effortlessly deflects all the attacks with a spoon, how married they are *Higuchi squealing noises*</p>

YURI ON ICE. YURI ON ICE. That’s all I’m gonna say.

I love love love how Chuuya goes to pray for Dazai’s safety while Tachihara wondered if he was planning sea travel and how it mirrors one of the previous chapters and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

ANGST RANT #1

Chuuya feels left out of the loop because all these things are happening without him: everyone on some secret assignment and apparently it’s not important that he knows. “He—he’s useless when it comes to strategies and planning.” And he’s just trying to justify all of it, because he’s just not good enough to be included or something like that (but no Chuuya you’re such a good boss!!!!)

Moving on to Chuuya’s expectations. He can’t seem to expect anything good from Dazai and even when good things happen he just assumes it’s temporary and something else is coming later (poor baby).

“I try not to expect Dazai’s good behavior whenever possible” Because Dazai let him down too many times Q.Q

And how he just savors every moment they have together because who knows when it will all just come to abrupt halt?? Like that scene where Dazai booked a room with only one bed and he just enjoys the moment because “after all, once Dazai decides that he’d like to leave again, there will be no repeat performances of this comforting closeness anymore”.  And when they screw up the ice skating tournament and it was all such a mess but Chuuya saw it as “a chance to dance that closely, intimately, with Dazai, but that’s neither here nor there”. He perceives it as a “chance”, an opportunity, something good that he wants to hold on to. Despite being so involved in each others’ lives it’s like Chuuya is falling the whole time and bracing for impact, preparing himself for the worst, but then it’s only natural.

And once again with how Chuuya rationalizing Dazai’s behavior. “Dazai laughs - but it’s soft instead of grating. Though that’s probably because…” and there’s always a reason because it simply CANNOT be what he wants it to be. All the excuses are better than making assumptions, because look where that got him in the past.

Poor Chuuya just avoiding the route with the greatest potential of pain QAQ It’s so sad that someone who usually takes things head-on would distort his thoughts ignore some really obvious signs because it’s brought him so much pain. 

When Dazai talks about them spending the next New Year’s together “Chuuya smiles, because that kind of promise is nice, but ultimately means nothing. It’s nice, if only in this moment though.” OMG he wants this so bad but he’s so resigned to the fact that Dazai’s just going leave at some point alksdjalksdjf

 -

 I love the texts Chuuya gets from everyone. I love how distinct their voices are <3 Atsushi freaking about chazuke, Aku thanking Chuuya for helping him make chazuke (gimme all the akuatsuuuu). Aku warning Chuuya about Dazai, I just love the way he talks about Dazai now go Aku!! Yosano and Kouyou? Ranpo wants to give Poe gifts akjsdfhkajdshf! </p>

Some notes on Dazai: “Does that guy need anything aside from your company anyway?” *more dying seal noises* I just love the way Steinbeck says that like it’s common sense and that the oh-so-tricky Dazai is so obvious and predictable in his affections. And Dazai always replying to texts if they’re from Chuuya, trying to be there in his own way I guess *cheering Dazai on*

“I am helpless against your beauty and I’ll need your company to cure me of this lovesickness” OMG I almost died of laughter (maybe we all kind of have that feeling for Chuuya tho), but then I read the next part where Chuuya thinks it’s some kind of code and then later: “Did you just fucking imply that my looks made you sick?!” aaahahahahahaha I’m dead XD

  ATUSUSHI SASS APPRECIATION 

“Ah, so the man-tiger really sounds threatening when said by mafia members. I thought it was just Akutagawa.”

 “Do you really want to know what i call him, Chuuya-san?” I love Atsu’s not-so-innocent side

 And when Chuuya denies missing Dazai and Atsu’s all like"Are you excited about Fukuzawa’s return then?“ LOLOL

-

Aku’s "I’m going to the hospital” comment. Period.

 ANGST RANT #2

OK so the mistletoe, which has all sorts of romantic connotation and stuff, sacred plant of a goddess of love, all magical and etc etc, but then Chuuya says “Mistletoe are parasites, pests….They…kill trees. And stuff” as if he’s talking about how loving Dazai was killing him.

And before they have their indirect “kiss” there’s “Because things have ultimately not changed, have they? They can’t change–because that would mean—“ and he’s just not ready to accept that yet. Not an actual kiss. Puh-lease.

Back to my earlier point on Chuuya anticipating loss and disappointment; he knows he wants this with Dazai, he slowed down all of those moments he had to be close to him, but he just can’t see a happy ending. And Dazai just kind of confirms it too, telling Chuuya he’s going to Russia with Mori and Fukuzawa last minute and leaving just like that. Not really telling him the details of his mission.

And “Dazai siphons the life out of him, leaving him with work, work, work. It’s just like before, only with more phone contacts and more Facebook friends, this time. He wonders if he should feel happy for expecting this all along.” Draining him LIKE THE DAMN MISTLETOE.

Dazai not telling Chuuya that he’s really moved in with him. How Atsushi knows, everyone knows, but not Chuuya. Once again left out of the loop.

ANGST RANT #3

“Dazai claimed to never lie on negotiations and what happened back then–was a negotiation, nothing else……Dazai Osamu is a fucking liar” The way he rejects Dazai’s confession, the way he’s forced himself to see their relationships ajkdfhajksdhfkajsh

“Chuuya’s heart beats staccato beats of misery and hurt, as he watches Dazai’s face remain impassive, in control. He hates it.” This contrast between Chuuya’s turmoil and Dazai’s perceived calmness, Dazai sort of making his decisions for him, running him in circles just because he could predict his reactions. How frustrating, how unfair. The table flip was so impactful in this scene. How can he struggle for autonomy against someone who can grasp everything in the palm of his hand?

Dazai’s trying to be careful but his lack of transparency is one of their biggest problems, way to go Dazai. Just because you know he’s going to reject you doesn’t mean that you can just hide things and not let him do it. Let this poor man decide T.T I do acknowledge his effort though.

Chuuya’s three years of trying to be normal falling apart, I love how he corrected it to eight years, because he’s been struggling for so much longer.

(Mori asking Dazai to be the PM’s new Boss? Ouch, OUCH)

“’And I’m just the sharpest tool in your box.’” He’s been holding that one in hasn’t he? The way Dazai was his world while to Dazai he was just an object to be used. 

And holy shit Dazai, telling Chuuya that they can’t have normal things because they’re monsters. Chuuya’s been struggling so long to find self-worth, to finally deserve to live among normal people…I would imagine that he would have these feelings for sure, being such a kind person doing such wicked things, but then it was because DAZAI was the one who said it, who invalidated his feelings, that hurt him the most. *sobbing*

Chuuya’s actually crying now, finally falling apart after keeping it together for so long, but Dazai can’t just kiss those tears away now like he did after his nightmare. Because all of those insecurities and scars are coming right back to reality now.

“Eight years ago and Chuuya would have carved out his own, beating heart, the moment Dazai said that it’s part of the plan.” The way this was written, from the wording to the buildup from the previous paragraphs, was so raw and painful I had to stop reading for a moment because sweet Mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz Chuuya needs so much love.

He wants proof, perfectly acceptable because there is overwhelming evidence of Dazai hurting Chuuya. The little bits of him caring for Chuuya are overshadowed by Chuuya’s Dazai-is-pain-I-can’t-come-close-or-I-won’t-be-able-to-bounce-back-again mode. Especially when Dazai is STILL hiding things from him. Still making his choices for him. And despite all of his efforts he feels as if nothing’s changed. Dazai’s still lying, he can’t be normal, can’t escape from the past, “He’s the only one truly disgraced here, tainted with darkness, tainted with the budding light of hope that will never fully bloom.”

Dazai asking for him to just believe even if there’s no proof is outrageous at this point.

But then akjdhfaksjhfaksjadfh Dazai’s all desperate and just pleading for him not to push him away how heartbreaking.

They’re going to need a catalyst to get back together right? Please send help!

Thanks so much for this wonderful update!! So intense adfasajkfhaskjhdjk, I can’t wait to see how the characters handle this. (I did not proofread my comment so sorry if I rambled too much)

[dapper-ships-herself]

I doubt I will have the motivation to do all these prompts, but this one is cute. Reverse self ship. Part of @fofebruary

Dazai picked up the first volume on a whim one day just because he was bored and he'd randomly found it. He'd expected not to like it all that much, because it's a magical girl series and those are all full of ~light~ and ~hope~ and all the believing in the purity of the world bullshit. But this series had a sense of realness. Still steeped in the classic magical girl themes, but it never shied away from showing the darker parts of the world too and got a bit bloody at some points. What really got him hooked was the purple magic knight, Gillian. She is disillusioned about a lot of the world, struggling to find her place and her reason to be alive, but even those doubts never stop her from trying and fighting for a brighter future and for her team; bonus points, she's adorable and a doofus. He bought every single volume that had been released so far, binge watched the anime, and got every game and so much merch like immediately. This was all back in his mafia days and carries over to the present. He will talk anyone and everyone's ear off about Gillian aka "my goddess!" and openly calls her his wife. Everyone just chalks it up to Dazai being Dazai and that he's a weird otaku but whatever, nothing new.

Not much for romance usually, he honestly can't help falling in love and picturing himself and Gillian together, going on dates, kissing, double suicide, jk actually while Gillian isn't able to outright cure that tendency, he is surprised that the hope of her and her show rubs off on him and knows she would be disapointed hearing him talk about it or offer it

Chuuya hated the series just because Dazai likes it and talks about it nonstop but one day sees a clip of Gillian and gets a crush and he fucking hates it, absolutely denies that he also loves the series now.

Yosano also loves the series and is less open about it but she and Dazai have had discussions about why Gillian is their favorite.

Gin very secretly enjoys the series and often gets all blushy under her mask thinking of Gillian. Tachihara once accidentally found out and she almost slaughtered him when he started to make fun of her.

Higuchi has merch in a shrine in her closet.

Lovecraft does not have any merch but has watched the series after he was introduced to it from seeing Margaret giving Mark a hard time for his figurine he owns. Margaret only does that because she wishes she had the courage to buy more merch but has the whole series tucked secretly away where the rest of the guild can't find it.

Poe has 100% written his own reader insert fiction and uses his ability to experience it.

Also, Ranpo loves the series too and even though he has never really wanted a sibling before finds himself thinking she'd be a good sister. Fukuzawa once pointed out that he seemed attached to this character and he got super embarrassed about it.

Fukuzawa sees Ranpo watching and sees Gillian's struggles and Adopts, nobody but he himself knows this.

Mori thinks she's cute and also adopts and has figurines with changeable clothes, pretty open about it.

And Francis's daughter probably watched and so he bought tons of merch as gifts for her and then later sees it again and gets reminded of his own daughter a little by her favorite character and so mentally adopts, mentions this to no one.

Oda also wishes he could adopt and has spent many hours listening to Dazai rant about her, Ango gets roped in against his will.

Kouyou probably notices Kyouka secretly watching it mostly for the adorable mascot and feels sympathy for Gillian and joins in on the adoption train, sort of tells Kyouka that she wishes she was there to guide the young girl.

Yumeno is given the series to keep them self company in their cell and imagines her as a big sister that would take care of him and not leave him alone, has no one to tell.

Dialogue: "Shall I enlighten you, young Atsushi, on true perfection?."

Erza hears about this book series not long after escaping the tower of heaven and joining the guild. She finds strength in Gillian's refusal to stop fighting and her dedication to her friends. She gets a crush, but the series stays in the back of her head until years later she finds it again and rereads and this time falls in love with the purple knight. She has a whole bunch of merch but refuses to tell anyone about her love out of embarrassment.

She also secretly has two requips where one is a cosplay of Gillian's magical outfit and the other is a piece of armor that she thinks looks like what her magical outfit would be. She never uses them to fight, and requips into them for fun sometimes when she's home alone, cosplays and imagines she's one of the magical knights too.

Dialogue: "What'cha got there, Erza?"

Byleth saw this play while she was traveling around as a mercenary and was instantly captivated by the story of Gillian the purple knight. Her design was really what drew her in, but as they continued on their way she kept thinking about her and thought about how amazing she is. The next town they reached that had a production of the play, she insisted on watching again, and so it continues everytime they find a troupe putting it on. They come across a merchant one day who has a wall scroll of Gillian, and even though she knows it's silly and that with all her traveling there's not even a wall for her to hang it on, she buys it and carries it around. She's not sure what she feels, since love is kind of out of her reach at this point, but she knows she admires Gillian.

Her dad suspects she has a crush on Gillian and thinks it's cute. She won't go out of her way to talk about the play or Gillian, but she will talk about it if asked. Her students know that if they want to get on their teachers good side and try to get a grade bump that they can give her anything related to the series.

It's only after she starts being able to really feel her emotions that she realizes she's in love with Gillian.

Dialogue: "Isn't she cute?"