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sunoorintarou · 1 year

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Catharsis: Houseki no Kuni x JJK

Part: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (parts not in chronological order)

Christmas Special (plot divergent)

Gojo Satoru (platonic) x Phosphophyllite!Reader

Warnings: ooc Gojo, complex emotions, reader goes from happy to depressed to a monster, very angsty, there's an oc named Yuzuru Yukio who takes the place of Antarcticite because I couldn't bear to kill off anyone, death and depression, suicidal thoughts, gore

Notes: I haven't posted in a while and recently watched Houseki No Kuni and fell in love with Phos, so I decided to write a lil smth. This isn't very detailed and is more of a drabble than anything. I also really wanted to highlight Gojo's weaknesses and the inability to stop change in this, so he's very ooc, but yeah, hope y'all enjoy <3

They say history repeats itself, and once again, Gojo Satoru found himself unable to protect what really mattered to him. He was not the strongest. And never would be if he could never protect those closest to him.

It was like clockwork. He remembered when he first met you. You were a girl with a cursed technique never seen before. You had the ability to turn curses into gemstones. You could also absorb them (the beginnings of those together at the end are always similar), but not only that, your body was a storage unit for them, crystallising them and making them part of you, existing as precious gems that sprouted on and under your skin.

You were a precious commodity. Even though you had only molded with a singular curse, the one that had killed your parents. You had absorbed it into you on accident, materialising as the teal in your crystalline eyes and hair.

You were then taken to Jujutsu Tech. You had nowhere else to go. And now that you had absorbed your first curse, you became a beacon for others, your very existence attracting them.

It was fate when you were assigned to Gojo's team. The higher - ups choosing him on the basis that he had "experience" with cursed techniques similar to yours.

Gojo watched you from the beginning. Your bright eyes and clumsy personality something he hadn't seen in a while. You struggled in battle, tripping over your feet and freezing up. You weren't good at healing. You weren't good at admin. Any task you were assigned, you managed to royally mess up. You couldn't even use your cursed technique. You were borderline useless, good for only cheering up the team.

It had gotten to the point where you wouldn't even go on missions, sitting in your room and wondering what you had to do to become better. Gojo never let you be alone. He had learnt better.

Things took a turn for the worse during your first encounter with a cursed spirit that had eaten one of Sukuna's fingers. It was smart, and they figured it had been following you on your daily path from the school to the convenience store nearby. Waiting for the perfect chance to attack you.

Gojo blamed himself. He had been sent on a mission. By the time he arrived, everyone was in a panic, his team having long left to look for you after realising you were missing. By then, it was already too late.

When they found you, the curse had already shattered your legs. A scene no child deserved to see. An event no child deserved to experience. You were in a puddle of blood against the wall of an alley. Your legs had clean broken off, revealing teal crystal in place of bones and muscle, tinted purple from mixing with your blood. It was like breaking open a geode. Nothing flesh lied under your skin, only crystal. It was almost beautiful.

The curse was feasting on the shards of your legs, and by the time Gojo arrived with the group, he could only watch as you finally gained the strength to activate your cursed technique. You touched the curse, watching as its flesh crystallised into agate and quartz.

You then caught sight of your team and your teacher, a broken smile on your face.

"S- Sensei- look, I did it." You tilted your head. Gojo walked toward you wordlessly, his strong hand never so gentle, finding your head as he ruffled your hair.

"You did. I'm proud of you." Gojo's hands found your waist, picking you up as you went limp over his shoulder.

When you were brought back to Shouko, there was little she could do. They brought the crystallised curse with, now just a chunk of agate and quartz. To save your legs, they had to crack it open, having to use the pieces of your legs that were now mixed in with the agate and attach them to your body, hoping your body wouldn't reject them.

You slept for a long time. 3 weeks, to be exact. And when you finally woke up, Gojo couldn't help but begin to despise himself for not being able to protect you.

Where Gojo saw regret, you saw your legs as a positive, however. They were faster and stronger than your previous legs, allowing you to use them in combat, quickly excelling. You were beyond excited when you were deemed strong enough to go on patrol, and Gojo guided you the best he could.

He assigned a 3rd year, a strict, by the books, yet equally as lonely boy named Yuzuru Yukio. And he watched you. He watched as Yukio guided you, teaching you everything he knew. And as the days passed, he felt as if you were going to be OK.

Things were looking up for you. Everyone was praising your newfound talent in an attempt to cheer you up, but what Gojo hadn't realised was that the seed of doubt had already been planted far before he could stop it.

It had started in a casual conversation with Maki while she was attempting to help you train. You had explained your situation to her, eagerly listening to her advice, but one thing stuck. "Change." You knew she hadn't meant it the way you had taken it. She simply meant that you should change your thoughts and strengthen your resolve. But the words played on your long-held insecurities, and you began to feel like you yourself were the problem.

This feeling only increased when everyone complimented how strong your new legs were. Not cracking as easily as your old ones, much faster and more agile. And you only sunk deeper when you had dropped a crate of training swords, and Panda had jokingly claimed that it would be nice if your arms were as good as your legs.

Not even Gojo could sense the darkness that grew in your heart. The nights you spent despising your reflection, wondering if it would be better if every single part of you was replaced.

These insecurities manifested when you encountered a curse on patrol with Yukio. You watched as Yukio fought the gooey green mass of eyeballs, staying back as you still weren't all that skilled. In a moment of hesitance, Yukio had been caught off guard and was flung into a building, leaving you alone with the curse.

"I can eat them for you." The curse smiled, feeding off your insecurities.

"Your arms are so weak. Wouldn't you want a better pair?" The voice was deep and comforting, almost caring, almost worried. You found yourself reaching out to the curse.

When you found clarity not even a second later, it was too late. Your arms were gone.

It was repetition. The way you were rushed to Shouko, Yukio holding your limp form against him, the curse long gone.

This time wasn't as simple. They had nothing to replace it with and, no choice but to send you out to find a curse you could crstalise and use as a prosthetic.

Maki and Toge went with you and Yukio. Gojo once again being barrelled with missions.

What should have been a simple search for a weak curse turned sour. The curse they had found had turned into gold when you touched it.

The alloy was heavy, weighing you down and liquidising, trapping you in a prison of gold. Toge and Maki were forced to retreat by Yukio, forced to contact Gojo as you were being drowned in an ocean of gold.

Yukio tried to break through the prison the gold had formed. A large gold block with a few holes for air. He swore he would get you out, and as his focus remained on you, he failed to notice the curse behind him.

His guts were ripped clean out, body hitting the floor before either of you could react.

And you couldn't do anything. The gold refused to listen to you as you tried to do something, anything, to get revenge, to see if there was anything you could possibly do to somehow change the situation. But it was all in vein.

When Gojo found you, you were covered in blood, on your knees, Yukio's limp body in your arms as you cried. There were pieces of various precious gems and minerals everywhere. He rushed to you, dropping to his knees in front of you.

"Sensei- I- I wasn't strong enough- to- to protect me- he-" In place of tears, ichor ran down your cheeks.

It was then that Gojo watched the beginning of your downfall. You spiraled, cutting your hair, the light in your eyes dying as you committed yourself to fighting curses nonstop. Gojo watched you break yourself apart, skin cracking into pieces only to be filled with gold and repaired again and again.

Nothing anyone said could stop you, not even when your team returned from their mission and were met with you, the new you. You just weren't the same. No longer as happy and joyous, becoming more awkward, quieter. You rarely slept. Sleeping only when Shouko drugged you enough to keep you asleep.

You bathed yourself in the blood of curses, an act of revenge, and strength enabling you to speak to Yukio with a clean heart. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw Yukio dying. Over and over again. It was excruciating. It suffocated you.

The life draining out of your bodies and eyes, but no matter what you did, you just wouldn't die.

Gojo stayed by your side as much as he could during those times. Avoiding missions and watching over you. The only time you were ever out of his site was when you went to the bathroom, and when you visited Yukio's grave.

No one left you alone. But perhaps that worked out for the worse. The comforting words only reminded you of your weakness.

It was like Deja Vu. When the light finally returned to your eyes, it was too late.

"Hey, Sensei." You greeted from across the road as if nothing ever happened. There was a barrier no one could cross between you. It was in the early morning, the bustle of the traffic and people almost sickening to Gojo.

"Y/n. What is this?" Gojo asked, at a loss for words. He had let you out of his site for 10 minutes, letting you sit at Yukio's grave in peace, and when he returned, you were gone. That was days ago. Yet by some miracle, he had caught sight of you in the crowd in passing.

"I want to thank you. For everything. You always said I'd find a purpose, something only I could do, and I think I found it. I'm sad things didn't work out with you guys at Jujutsu Tech, though. Tell everyone that I'm sorry, OK?" You said, thoughtfully, eyes widening as another thought came to mind.

"Ah, another thing, 'Sorry for stealing your student Satoru, I just don't think she's cut out to follow the path you're on', something like that, he said to tell you."

At those words, Gojo Satoru was 17 again, watching his best friend leave, unable to do anything about it.

"Y/n!" He screamed as you turned around, ready to rush after you, but the voices of his other students behind him stopped him.

"Bye, bye. See you in Shibuya." You smiled. One last time before you disappeared into the crowd.

History always repeated itself in the cruelest ways. And once again, it was proved to Gojo Satoru that he could never be the strongest.

#catharsis #gojo satoru x reader #jjk angst #jjk x reader #houseki no kuni #phos!reader #hnk x reader #land of the lustrous #jjk x hnk crossover #platonic gojo satoru

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that-ari-blogger · 4 months

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A Weird Finale (For Good)

Catharsis is a weirdly complex emotion. Weird in the sense of how it operates. Catharsis isn’t an emotion, that’s kind of the whole point, but it acts like one. Catharsis makes you feel better, it makes you laugh or cry or maybe both, and there are very few literary tools as powerful as the ability to make your audience emote.

Catharsis is the releasing of strong emotions. If I tell a joke, the catharsis is the punch line. If I tell a sad story about a friend getting badly injured, the catharsis is the conclusion where I tell you that they are ok.

Case and point, For Good is the final song of Wicked. Kind of. It isn’t really, the story continues afterwards, and a song called Finale follows that. But For Good feels like the conclusion a story. It certainly reflects on the events of the musical as a whole, and makes a conclusion going forward.

It is also one of the two songs in all of musical theatre that I cannot make it through without crying, and this post is my defence of that inability.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Hazbin Hotel, Andor)

“I'm limited Just look at me I'm limited And just look at you You can do all I couldn't do Glinda So now it's up to you For both of us Now it's up to you”

Elphaba has failed in her journey. She wanted total freedom, and she couldn’t achieve it. She wanted the ability to make a change in the world, but she was just one person. She failed.

The reuse of the Unlimited Lite Motif shows the other side of the coin that is Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship. It brought them both what they wanted. Together, they were unlimited, but alone… there’s this.

The limit actually corresponds to more than just physical freedom. They both wanted to be free, to be unshackled by their own capabilities. They wanted unlimited power, and Elphaba couldn’t achieve that, but she believes Glinda could. Although Glinda would disagree.

“I've heard it said That people come into our lives For a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led to those Who help us most to grow if we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you”

I had a whole thing planned to write about fate here, but I don’t think it’s the point. Because if you focus too much on what might be, you miss what actually is.

Wicked is a story about dreams and reality colliding, and the answer to which will come out on top, is “neither”. Elphaba chased her dreams to the end and found them unobtainable. Glinda, meanwhile, saw her friend achieve great things in real time.

Don’t stop chasing a better tomorrow. That isn’t what I’m saying here. But don’t think that the change will be sudden and one day you will reach that eutopia. Change is slow, and it happens as you go. Elphaba, for example, has been saving people, and inspiring people. Oz hasn’t been saved, but she’s made progress.

The first chorus, as is usual for a song in this musical, is understated, and building to something bigger. It's laying the groundwork for later events.

The fact that Glinda’s phrases are offset is a continuation of something that began in I’m Not That Girl (Reprise), her casualness.

When Galinda was introduced, she spoke with a practiced poise, that was evenly metred so that it was impossible to notice when a song started for her. She had, in a very real sense, always been singing and never actually spoken.

This is the opposite of that, Glinda’s words feel more real, because the timing creates a casual vibe that I take to be more genuine.

Wicked has been playing around with time signatures since the beginning, usually to represent indecision or an inconsistency reminiscent of how fae realms are represented in mythology and literature. It feels whimsical.

Here the awkward bar is used to emphasise Glinda’s words. “I have been changed.”

I have found myself recommending covers of these songs, so to continue that streak, Voiceplay's Wicked medley is phenomenal, and the For Good section is especially memorable.

Glinda doesn’t know or even care about fate or what was meant to be. She is astonishingly real and pragmatic, and she can see Elphaba’s success in a way that her friend can’t.

Elphaba has become the Wizard, in a sense. She has inspired people to take their lives into their own hands. She has promised people a better world, but instead of the Wizard’s false hope, Elphaba delivered, and showed people that if they try, they can improve the lives of generations to come.

Glinda can see that Elphaba changed at least one person and made them want better, and she can carry on that legacy.

In other words:

“You've already done so much So many lives you've changed So many souls you've touched And in the end, if it's only me you've saved There's something that I've been dying to say”

Hazbin Hotel is satirical musical that deals with seeking freedom. It’s most definitely not Wicked, it’s theming is different and when I do a series on it, I will talk about that at length. But it does have a song that links to For Good.

There’s a difference between having done enough, and being done. If you only save one person, you are a hero. If you make life better for one person, and inspire them to pay that favour forwards, you have made your mark. You have your legacy.

But Elphaba has done far more than just save one person. Again, if she has inspired Glinda, she must have inspired someone else as well. And when Glinda drives away the Wizard, and presumably does more to help the citizens of Oz who are oppressed, that’s because of Elphaba.

This song in Hazbin Hotel is also a love song. I wonder if that is relevant.

“I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I’ll never see.”

Andor is a surprisingly well-made series. As in, the Star-Wars fandom has been starved for a while for stories that say anything. So, when Andor began exploring some complex philosophy, people missed that the show was also just genuinely good craft.

But it is the messaging that I want to talk about here, briefly. Andor discusses the cost of rebellion, and in one of the several incredible monologues of the series, Luthen Rael explains that, among other things, he is making a better world for future generations. One that he will probably never receive. Like Moses delivering people to a promised land that he, himself, would never reach.

Legacy is important to both Luthen and Elphaba. Their futures are marked by conflict, but they exist so that later generations will live without that.

I would also recommend this cover by Jacob Daniel Cummings and Peter Gibbons. They are both talented vocalists, but the simplicity of the music video and set design are really cool, and the fading from monochrome to colour is a nice touch.

This song precedes Elphaba’s “death”, and it centres around Glinda telling her and the audience that it was all worth it. That’s the catharsis, whatever happens next, Elphaba has succeeded.

“You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine By being my friend”

The romance of this musical has been implied. Evidence through subtext, rather than what is actually being shown. It got pretty strong, but an entirely aromantic reading of their relationship was possible, if you squinted.

However, I would argue that this isn’t subtext. I would suggest that “you’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart” is innately romantic in nature.

“Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes the sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood”

At this point, the song spits out a ton of metaphors, and I’m not going to go over each one. So as a whole, these stand in for that catharsis. This is Elphaba and Glinda finally letting out their emotions and stopping limiting themselves.

Defying Gravity reflected the first half of Wicked by displaying Elphaba’s freedom from external forces. But the second half featured the battle with herself and her own abilities and emotions. So, letting go of all of that and saying “I love you” in every way imaginable except the obvious certainly counts as releasing emotions.

This is the other part of the catharsis that I talked about. Half of the drama of this musical has been the development of the relationship; however you see that, between Glinda and Elphaba. That relationship fell apart, hence the tragic nature of this musical, but it did so quickly and without much closure.

So now, the two can look back on it and say, with definite confidence, that it was, in fact, a relationship.

Again, I will claim that this is romantic because friendship isn’t that powerful, usually. Friendship can change people, but romance can change a person’s story, and their life. A friendship doesn’t leave “a handprint on my heart”, for example.

I am actually having trouble articulating why this is romantic. It just is, look at it. You have to prove that it isn’t at this point.

The acting here sells the romance as well. The blinking back of tears, the faltering in each word. Emotions are running high through this song.

That is why I love this song. That is why this is my favourite song in all of musical theatre. That is why this song makes me cry.

This song is the resolution of a complex, and heavy story. It looks at the future to talk about legacy, but it also looks at the past to say “see what Elphaba has achieved”.

The song itself isn’t even the thing that makes me cry here. The emotional element of this is the story that got you here. Wicked is emotional, but it makes you hold all of that in, until For Good releases that.

Essentially, I like For Good because I like Wicked, and when I listen to the song, I listen to an entire story.

Final Thoughts

This was really difficult to analyse because the song isn’t complicated on its own right. Like I said, it’s the fact that it is the conclusion to Wicked that gives it the emotional gravitas.

But I do want to clarify something. This post should have gone out on Wednesday, but it will probably go live on Sunday instead, and there is a reason for this.

Partly, I am disorganised as hell. But partly, I have been struggling to explain why this song is queer or even romantic in nature. It is, and I will defend my opinion on that, but my excuse for it being that is… look at it, it’s so obviously romantic.

I think my answer is linked to my conclusion about this song as a whole. This is a romantic song because the entire musical has been about the romance between Elphaba and Glinda, so it carries over that weight. This song is queer because that relationship was queer. All this song does is amplify what you take into it, and that’s a weirdly empty description for something so powerful.

But I guess, in a way, that’s how stories operate as a whole. You only get out of them what you are willing to put in. If you engage with a character, and you pour your heart into that character, you will probably be rewarded tenfold. But that takes a mixture of good craft, the right story (because no story is for everyone), and a great deal of vulnerability on the part of you. Emotions can hurt, and to engage with a story, you have to be willing to let yourself feel that. But the risk is well worth the reward, at least with Wicked.

This mostly wraps up my coverage of Wicked. I will be compiling a complete summary of my ideas for the musical at some point. But before that, I will be starting my coverage of another musical, one with slightly different themes.

So stick around if that interests you.

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#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #what's so special about...?#wicked #wicked the musical #elphaba #glinda #wicked musical #gelphie #wicked is a queer story #hazbin hotel #star wars andor #meta #meta analysis

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asagi-red-wolf · 1 year

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Headcanon: Stolas + Social Cues

Before I start, this is meant to be more of a HEADCANON than a THEORY- please don’t come into my inbox or onto this post to debunk it, I sincerely do not care, there are 100% completely valid reads on Stolas and concepts like willfull ignorance and even pushing his own agenda out of entitlement- I won’t argue with those reads, so please don’t argue with mine, it’s just my personal opinion as an autistic person with trouble reading social cues myself

The TL;DR is: I think most of Stolas’s Issues with how he interacts with people (primarily Blitz and Octavia, as those are his two most frequent, positive- atleast from Stolas’s side- interactions) is more to do with an inability to understand social cues than anything else

Part 1: Childhood Neglect

Children have to be around, ya' know, people, from a young age to develop social skills- and a big part of those social skills is the ability to read people, but we know for a fact that for the first ten years of his life, Stolas had never interacted with other children and had very scarce interaction with other adults, I don't think that changed until he was in his teens and was forced to be around Stella, but even if I'm wrong, those first ten years kinda sealed his fate anyway because most primary social skills (like reading people) are learned before the age of five- or atleast the primary functions are, nuance obviously comes later, so by the age of ten, Stolas was completely incapable of learning this skill without actively being taught, and we know he sure as hell didn't have that, so he's kinda just.... cooked....

Making matters much, much worse- what interactions he did have in childhood were all either cold, cruel, or both.. with one notable exception we’ll get to later

The butler seemed to be very “professional”...

...Yeah I’m not exactly getting a huge range of emotions from this fella to be honest....

Then you have Paimon, who seems to be mostly in a jovial state when he visits Stolas..... but that peppy mood is punctuated by cruelty, IE: “cease your bitch crying”, that wasn’t really said in anger- he didn’t seem frustrated or pissed off, just mildly annoyed but mostly still in a good mood, this would be a good example of mixed messages: Actions that contradict words or vice versa, for any child it might be hard to understand the idea of someone speaking to them calmly and within a relatively good mood but saying something mean and hurtfull, but to a child who doesn’t have the necessary skills to understand social cues, this becomes it’s own strange normal

Next is Stella, who I personally feel probably didn’t meet Stolas until they were teenagers, but it doesn’t really matter because either way, I don’t think it would have changed much- she’s cold, cruel, and vile from the beginning, Stolas is a very sensitive person with a very gentle disposition, no matter if he met her when he was ten or when he was sixteen, I think it’d be a shock to his system either way, and having to come to terms with the fact that this is the type of person who he’s going to have to have a marriage with had to have taken a big emotional toll, and it’s setting the stage VERY early in conditioning him into a victimized mindset- there is zero opportunity for him to get away from this abusive situation, all he can do is learn how to minimize the pain that comes out of it, and that in and of it’s self leads to having a very..... difficult time learning how to read people, on the good side of things, yes, you learn quickly how to avoid setting off your abuser (...unless ofcourse the abuser is emotionally sporadic) and can learn quickly how to tell when things are about to go from generally calm to “head for cover”.... but it also creates a skewed perception- ESPECIALLY for people who lack relationship experience- for reading people in future relationships, making one either overly cautious.... or attracted to red flags- wich is very clearly Stolas’s case (don’t think I didn’t notice the text that invited Blitz to “be mean to him” in what was VERY clearly an attempt at mediating a sour situation, this is not kink, this is absolutely and 100% a victimized person trying a Fawn Response to get out of more severe consequences- in alot of cases, people in abusive situations would rather suffer a shorter instance of having anger taken out on them (IE: being slapped in the face, screamed at, or berated) than to have their abuser (or anyone in their life for that matter) stay mad at them for an extended period of time (and to be VERY clear, before anyone comes for me, I’m not saying that Blitz is abusing Stolas by any stretch of the imagination, although I will touch on the language used again later, but Stolas’s ONLY mindset in a romantic relationship was specifically curated to be a victimized one, it is the ONLY guidepost he has, and he WILL, by nature, fall into the patterns he developed with Stella with anyone else he has a relationship with until that trauma is dealt with properly and he learns how to have other kinds of interactions with people and how to have a healthy relationship)

And that brings us to the only other childhood interaction that we know of- Blitz: ...And Blitz is confusing even for people who do have social experience, not as much when he was a kid, but still to some small degree, because Blitz, by nature, is rude, crass, and insulting, that can make it really hard to tell if he genuinely likes you or not- take Moxxie for instance, who we know he considers to be part of his family, who he VERY clearly has fondness and affection for (besides all the threeway comments, “Truth Seekers” makes this clear enough).... but he also is often at the butt of Blitz’s jokes, comments, and insults, for no apparent reason at that (we don’t see him treating Millie that way, although, that doesn’t mean that he’s never sharp or rude with her, he just seems to reserve the most of it for Moxxie) I think even people who have a good understanding of social cues would find him hard to figure out, so you take Stolas- who at this point has never had a truly positive interaction with literally anyone to our knowledge- suddenly being treated with atleast some kind of affection and comradary, and he’s just going to assume that ok, yes, this must be how people interact with eachother- he’s never been taught or shown any differently, his father actually has a very similar way of treating him to how Blitz does- he seems to be in a fine mood, isn’t shouting or displaying anger, but he’s casually insulting Stolas and belittling him, so when Stolas’s first ever freind says things like “Your books are boring”, and then proceeds to offer to play a game with him, Stolas’s veiws on this are probably going to skew alot less towards “That was rude” and alot more towards “Oh, this is just how people treat eachother” or at the very least “This is just how people treat me”- and this seems like such small potatoes but the sheer lack of any other interactions Stolas has with people makes every single word important to him and how he develops social skills- and when he’s already leaning into a victimized mindset, this is only going to help it along it’s path

Part 2: The Love Bomb

So Stolas, we can probably deduce, doesn’t have alot of luck with meeting people in adulthood who are, you know, decent to him, if the fact that he’s sidelined at his own party gives any indication, I feel like it’s VERY safe to assume- if not just stating an explicit fact- that Stolas hasn’t had any new positive interactions since that initial playdate with Blitz

So imagine if you will, this scenario:

Blitz is the first person to show Stolas not just any form of freindship, but any form of positive attention at all (excluding Via but we’ll get there), then after over a decade of this still being true, he sneaks into Stolas’s house and within ten minutes of seeing Stolas again, indicates VERY clearly that he wants to sleep with Stolas- who I guarantee, despite living in the Lust ring, does not have any grasp on the concept that wanting to sleep with someone does not automatically mean you have feelings for them, as having feelings for someone- or atleast liking them- seems to be a vital part of Stolas’s own attraction to people and ability to want to sleep with them (we know he doesn’t want to sleep with Stella, per the fact that she proudly admits to essentially assaulting him, and I’m not convinced that his lack of interest in her is entirely due to his sexuality- I personally headcanon that he’s gay, but that isn’t explicitly stated to be true anywhere, and he could easily be bi, pan, or even on the ace spectrum- wich I would not be remotely surprised about, by the way, as a demi person myself- and even if he IS gay, that doesn’t mean he’s automatically incapable of sleeping with a woman or having some enthusiasm to do so- ask a small crowd of gay men and I’ll bet anything that atleast one or two have had genuinely positive sexual interactions with women, especially if they were closeted for an extended period of time)- then after several rounds of sex and Blitz sleeping over, their next interaction is Stolas offering a monthly arrangement and Blitz, albeit with a lukewarm response that can be rightfully chalked up to him trying to avoid being murdered- agrees to it- wouldn’t your perception, until this point, be largely that Blitz still has some level of affinity for Stolas? If this is the only perspective we saw, it makes loads of sense

But this is where things start getting murky

After Blitz’s initial, brisk, agreement, interactions from Blitz’s end are LARGELY mixed in messaging- he’s sharp, cold, and often cruel with the way he speaks to Stolas, but he continues to come over and keep their arrangement anyway, at times initiating himself

or saying that he doesn’t mind when their monthly arrangement comes early

The show makes it VERY fucking clear that besides being extremely kinky (and having kinks that usually seem to line up with eachother quite well) they’re also switches-

(Credit)

Meaning that Blitz doesn’t just do all the giving, he also allows Stolas to top- this is clearly not just about Blitz getting to tie up a royal and feel empowered for once, and it clearly is involving more attention than just a quick bang for the book and running (and for context, the first screencap in this set is meant to indicate that Stolas topping is something Blitz is familiar enough with as a concept that he has to tell Stolas “no” in the beginning of their trip, I don’t think he’d be that cautious if Stolas had exclusively bottomed until this point)

At the same time Blitz also has many times (like the above in Loo Loo Land) when he makes it clear that he doesn’t want to engage in anything sexual, and Stolas has always respected that to atleast a physical degree (even if he often dirty talks and comes onto Blitz when Blitz clearly wishes he wouldn’t, he atleast knows not to do anything handsy when Blitz says “no”, wich is a low bar to step over but still)

But the problem is that Blitz’s attitude and how he responds to Stolas- outside of very clear “yes”es and very clear “no”s- is nearly always hostile, it’s only when Blitz is in a particularly good mood that he seems to be more mild in how he treats Stolas- and that’s often after sex, from what we’ve seen, or after Stolas has done something for Blitz (IE: saving him and I.M.P. in Truth Seekers), Blitz has “resting bitch attitude” to the extreme, his default state is a harsh disposition, and he’s also no stranger to making unwanted sexual advances himself (IE: rather constantly with the M&Ms) and/or being harsh with someone only to then turn around and give enthusiastic consent to sleep with them (IE: Chazz), it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s sent several of these mixed messages Stolas’s way on top of the ones we know he’s sending

It’s right back to the beginning of Stolas’s social life with Paimon: His demeanor says one thing but his words say another, when someone is being an asshole but doing it with a smile, are they actually being an asshole or are they just teasing? Some people can’t tell as easily- if at all

Making things worse, until Ozzie’s, there is never a moment when things clearly go on the ice with Blitz, Stolas’s progression of events goes from Blitz being openly affectionate straight into him being cold and hostile, there’s no break in between where Stolas would be able to stop and question if something went wrong, the transition is pretty seamless, because I highly doubt that he knew from the beginning Blitz’s initial seduction of him was disingenuous, Stolas was far too caught off guard for his enthusiasm to be planned- if we want to talk “Stolas Sings” lyrics, I would be willing to bet that that he didn’t start recognizing the “comfortable lie” until after he set up the deal with the book- wich may even be what he’s referring to in the first place, we assume that it’s about Blitz’s affection, but maybe it’s because he knows that he deceived Blitz into trying to force Blitz to spend time with him

The point of this section is simple: Blitz is an emotionally complicated person, and someone who has very little relationship experience isn’t going to have an easy time figuring those emotions out

Part 3: Octavia

For a quick break from the Stolitz Shit Show however, this section is pretty simple- Stolas can’t read Octavia either

The conversation about Loo Loo Land comes up alot, and although I do agree that some of his insistence on Loo Loo Land- despite her CLEAR disinterest in it- comes from the very classic parental problem of wanting to relive something from your child’s early years that made them happy- that now, ofcourse, they find too childish to enjoy- I also feel like he genuinely didn’t know exactly how disinterested in Loo Loo Land she was, I think in some ways he’s sort of written off her general demeanor as “She’s being a teenager”- that, or has internalized it

In many ways, Octavia is both the outlier to the pattern of people around him, and also falling exactly in step with the pattern as well

On the one hand she was the only person to ever show him consistent, enthusiastic, unconditional love and affection, this makes her the outlier to all of his other relationships, he may or may not chalk this up to a father/daughter bond, though I tend to believe he does given the emphasis he tries to place on being a doting dad, but it doesn’t really matter why- she just is

Or.... was.....

Because as of recent, I would assume since puberty hit- although we technically don’t know this for a fact- Octavia has slipped into the same disinterest of having Stolas around as everyone else around him- atleast on the surface

Like Paimon, Stella, and later Blitz, she tends to be cold to him, at times hurtfull (even though she very obviously doesn’t mean to be; IE: the band she’s listening to being called “Fuck You Dad” and making a point of telling him that), and rarely shows him any truly positive interactions (with Star Seekers being one of those noted exceptions) Stolas could group this in with the mentality that this is just how everyone treats him, but given how long he had Octavia’s very enthusiastic and unconditional joy at being around him, I tend to believe that he’s just chalking it up to her being a teenager- and, fair, that IS actually alot to do with it, so I’m willing to bet that he tends to see her.... less than thrilled attitude through a sort of lens that keeps that in mind, like rose colored glasses almost, keeping himself aware that she’s a teenager and is going to be grumpier than she used to be, but she has no reason not to still love him ....right?

The problem with that, obviously, is that it waters down everything she says and does, it allows him to- intentionally or unintentionally- read her cold response as more of a lukewarm response, essentially turning a “no” more into a “maybe”- wich obviously leads to quite alot of misunderstandings and Stolas trying to push things that he shouldn’t be pushing under the beleif that she still enjoys them, but just is in Grumpy Teenager Mode and isn’t going to express that enjoyment as openly as she used to

This doesn’t so much fit in with his usual trouble reading people as it is it’s own thing, but I think they fit together to create a more cohesive understanding of why exactly he has such a hard time understanding what seem to us to be very clear emotional indicators

Part 4: Conclusion

The thing is, we know Stolas is incredibly smart, so this isn’t just empty-headedness, and it isn’t always something that works in his benefit- IE: when he’s initially kidnapped by Striker and doesn’t seem to realize he’s really in any danger until Striker actually verbally indicates that he is-

(granted it was probably the evil laugh but still)

The fact that he didn’t process that he was really in any danger until this moment could come from him just depending on Blitz to save him until now.... but that doesn’t really work, as at his “Oh shit” moment, he still believes Blitz is on his way to save him- it took Striker CLEARLY indicating that he was confident in his ability to kill Stolas to convince Stolas that he may have a point, despite the fact that he’s been tied up with angelic rope and should have gleamed that much sooner

From my own experience as an autistic person, reading people is a nightmare, and I WAS socialized well and taught very good social skills from a mother who’s naturally very good at socializing, but I still can’t tell half the time when someone is joking with me, even if it’s clear to other people, still ask people- completely out of the blue to them- if they’re angry with me because I can’t tell the difference between someone being quiet and someone being mad, still have to outright ask half the time if someone is being sarcastic or literal, and even as of my early 20s, was so sure that (what I see NOW to be) a very clearly scripted interveiw with an actor was serious that I made a cringey Tumblr post begging people to let him sleep because I thought he was being woken up by his castmates every five minutes

I think this is one of those things neurotypical people often take for granted, but for austies and other neurodivergent people (or people like Stolas who suffered severe emotional neglect and abuse and didn’t exactly develop the way he should have) reading basic social cues can sometimes be like trying to put together a Rubiks Cube, and when you compound that issue with people who- for one reason or another, be it teenage angst or a snarky disposition or parental neglect- aren’t all that clear with their signals to begin with, you just end up with someone who’s pretty fucking confused all the time about their emotional place with the people around them

Again, there are other totally valid reads on this situation out there, this is just my own personal headcanon but then I headcanon both Blitz and Stolas as being autistic anyway because honestly have you met them?

#stolas #helluva boss #stolitz #ish #headcanon #is there a helluva positive tag?

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zhiroaesthetics · 8 months

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Writing Commissions 🔛🔝

I want to write more, but I lost all the outlines that I created in the past two years, in which most of them I had started their drafts. Naturally, my morale tanked, but I don’t want for that to stop me on the path to consistency. So I’m opening commissions, yippe!

Pricing $0.02/word; 500 words minimum. (500=$10, 1000=$20, 1500=$30, 2000=$40, etc.)

Type SFW and NSFW Pairings written in Second/Third Person. Most flexible with F(Reader)/M and F(Reader)/F. Open to OC/Canon. Least flexible with Male Reader/Focus and Genderfluid/Non-binary Reader/Focus. I don’t do Canon/Canon or M/M.

Series If they’re not present then it’s more than likely because I’d write a character from the series as opposed to anything from the series (i.e. Raging Loop, 91 Days, Mononoke) so just ask about a character if their series isn’t present.

Gacha Games

Fate/Grand Order

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Langrisser (My ability to do the request depends on me having the character due to a lack of online material and the inability to backread)

Granblue Fantasy (I like enough of the cast to speedrun side stories to understand plot references/setting)

Arknights (I don’t play the game but I have two friends that do and I don’t mind annoying them about context. NGL it’s here because I pray for a Chongyue request-)

Fire Emblem Heroes (I can’t do anything story specific because I never read it)

Video Games

Fire Emblem (Awakening, Fates, knowledgeable about Sacred Stones and Engage)

King of Fighters

Anime/Manga

Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)

Chainsaw Man (Manga - Part One)

Jigokuraku (Manga)

Record of Ragnarok (Manga)

Black Lagoon (Anime)

Baccano (Anime, Light Novels – 1-5)

Considerations

Communication. I have a computer science background, so I take everything literally and my mind blanks at “idk, do whatever you want”.

My Writing Approach. People talk a lot in my stories and though I do it to showcase dynamics, I also do it to pace myself. To prevent overlap and incoherency, I significantly limit my reliance on exposition. I rarely start my stories with it, and I will more than likely write in media res if the requested word cap is on the shorter side.

Expressing Limitations. No does not mean that the idea is bad or that you should be ashamed, but that I don’t feel confident in being able to properly execute it.

Hard Limitations. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone that is on Jeffery Epstein’s flight list, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who wouldn’t mind posting it on Live Leaks, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who would wave around a confederate flag, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by a dark humor connoisseur, then please don’t request. I’m also very big on boundaries and trust, so please don’t request ideas with the following elements:

Rape/Non-Con

Drugging

Kidnapping

Payment ko-fi.com/zhiro

Delivery PDF in 12 pt Times New Roman. I’ll post (via ao3) if requested.

Process Please do not request for a commission if you’re uncomfortable with sending money before receiving the commission. Only send the payment once I confirm that I will be writing the commission; I will refund otherwise. It takes 1-3 months for me to finish works, and I’ll do my best in sending a progress report/the premise seven days after confirmation. My drafts are pretty messy, so I won’t be showing them, but I’ll give updates throughout. Please do not request for a commission if you’re dubious about the process.

References archiveofourown.org/users/zhiro/pseuds/Araceli%20Selkie

If any of the above changes, I’ll post the update and edit this post. Thank you for taking your time to read this. Please consider commissioning me, I like to think I’m decent enough.

#writing #commissions open #writing commissions #anime #gacha games #video games #zhiro comms

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cosien · 1 year

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Grace, god of the sealed fate

I wanted to jump in on the "partners as divine companions" boat so here's the lovely Grace, god of sealed fate and overseer of Charlie!

Some lore bits:

Grace was initially drawn to Charlie because across all worlds, realms, and iterations of life, she could see that despite his varied and hopeful actions, he was always doomed to the exact same fate. In a way, he embodied her domain to the highest order, so of course she became enamored and began keeping a close eye on Charlie.

She holds a book, detailing the course of a person's life, but always flipped to the very last page. Those with a more malleable fate have multiple books that she can switch between, but she prefers stories told in absolute.

The sand that spills from her hand is representative of the time someone has left. Not always until their death, but rather the time they have until fate is able to take them, the point at which the clay hardens into stone.

Additionally, this process is how Grace sees people, as clay or stone. Those with the ability to change, to alter their path and set a new way in life are clay. While she has some oversight over these people, she's largely avoidant to them until their destiny becomes set in stone, at which point they are entirely under her domain.

Charlie, in all of his many lives, has always been a stone from the moment he began living. His inability to change fate is what makes him among the most devoted, although not intentional, and earns a special place in Grace's mind, often referring to him as "my darling malachite". (Obviously, this comes from some of the visual similarities, but also because malachite is a gemstone representing joy that also holds pain)

She also has a malachite stone hanging from her dress string and over time a slight green tint has colored her once white outfit because she loves finds Charlie fascinating.

Grace doesn't show herself very much, but her presence can always be felt, especially in moments of fated events. Charlie knows of her, and is rather enthralled himself, but can't help the pained feeling he always gets when Grace is around and Charlie looks out to the storm clouds on the horizon and knows he was doomed from the start.

#mcyt #slimecicle #grace safford #my art #those names next to each other - fuckin hell #also this is what happens when charlie decides to keep making the most tragic characters time and time again #ok. guess what. now you're doomed by the divine and also have a crush on her #get fucked goop boy

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relicofkorax · 2 months

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what are some coluan headcanons you have? do you have headcanons about any other fictional races you haven't posted before? :)

I think I've posted all the headcanons about Coluans I had saved up but leave it to me to forget if I have any extra ones I haven't posted or written down as soon as I'm asked. It's all under #legionlsh hc on my page though :)

I love fantasy races sm so if I have any knowledge or interest in a certain species or race I'll probably go off

I have some for Winathians and Bismollians 😂

both of which I headcanon as not aliens but human colonists. Winathian is more of a "nationality" with generations having been born and raised on the planet and Bismollian is almost a subset of Terran at this point- (in 3000) I like to think as a category, Bismollians are at least 300 years old, a lost branch of humanity that's basically an alien species by now but does in fact spring from Terrans.

I hc that all Winathian twins are fraternal twins, given Ayla and Garth. It only makes sense to me that it's either/or and not randomly fraternal or identical. It's also possible that the mother would release double the amount of female gametes while in a certain range of influence of Winath's star (in my headcanon, a unique wavelength of radiation induces the twinned births)

Because Garth has been sick at least twice, I hc the common cold for Terrans is slightly more infectious and severe among Winathians lol.

Also I imagine that Winathians have a mostly plant based diet (at least on-world) and many have low exposure- and therefore low tolerance to sugar (it makes them crash- hard.. or worse)

I don't know if it's ever explicitly outlined but I hc that Winathian culture views a twin absorbing or consuming the other in the womb very negatively, almost like an omen or personal failure. Dalya probably could have aborted Mekt. This is 29xx. She had to know! But I like to think she thought it was special or that she could turn this horrible thing positive.

You know how dogs can eat really fast without looking like they're eating abnormally fast? Bismollians can totally eat like that.

in my hc they were originally from a mission (a possible generational space ship) to reach a planet that seemed completely habitable, but wasn't, either by the time they reached it or at all. I guess they had a better fate than those dead astronauts the Legion found 😂

As an almost daughter species of Terrans they use a melanin system of coloration. Bismollians' skin color is relatively neutral tan by now with little variation.

Ok so.. apparently cats' saliva undergoes slight changes enzymatic makeup when they lick their fur... So I hc that while it's perfectly safe (usually) to kiss or share with Tenzil, his saliva becomes increasingly corrosive when he anticipates using his ability.

Magic doesn't obey the laws of physics/matter- so Bismollians can't eat magic or magical substances. In my headcanon M-E Lad is sometimes gaining the powerful/corrupted powers of those magical items and his inability to properly wield them or their sheer incomprehensibility is what makes him feral. lmao Also Tenzil, and Taryn, etc. are one species I wouldn't headcanon or draw as having sharp (front) teeth. what use are fangs for biting metal and rock?! (though their overall tooth shpaes might be a lil different from Terrans', especially in the case of molars)

#hopefully that was remotely entertaining lol. and hopefully not too incoherent i should sleep lol #I have a Samsung note with all this stuff on it somewhere idk #I probably have more but l8z haha #.legionlsh hc #ig i won't put this on reblog. it's cringe lol #.ask/answer

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quoteablebooks · 1 year

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Genre: Fiction, Fantasy, Retelling

Rating: 5 out of 5

Trigger Warning: Child abuse, Antisemitism, Domestic abuse,Violence, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Rape, Animal death

Summary:

Miryem is the daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders, but her father's inability to collect his debts has left his family on the edge of poverty--until Miryem takes matters into her own hands. Hardening her heart, the young woman sets out to claim what is owed and soon gains a reputation for being able to turn silver into gold. When an ill-advised boast draws the attention of the king of the Staryk--grim fey creatures who seem more ice than flesh--Miryem's fate, and that of two kingdoms, will be forever altered. Set an impossible challenge by the nameless king, Miryem unwittingly spins a web that draws in a peasant girl, Wanda, and the unhappy daughter of a local lord who plots to wed his child to the dashing young tsar. But Tsar Mirnatius is not what he seems. And the secret he hides threatens to consume the lands of humans and Staryk alike. Torn between deadly choices, Miryem and her two unlikely allies embark on a desperate quest that will take them to the limits of sacrifice, power, and love. Channeling the vibrant heart of myth and fairy tale, Spinning Silver weaves a multilayered, magical tapestry that readers will want to return to again and again.

*Opinions*

Spinning Silver had been on my TBR since I finished Uprooted last year, but I didn’t want to read them too close together because I didn’t want to draw unfair comparisons. I’m glad I took the time between the two novels because while they are very different stories, Novik does have a strong narrative voice that would have muddled the two books in my brain. Still, as much as I liked Uprooted, the small issues I had with that novel did not pop up in this one. While I know I have a lot of Novik’s backlist to still read, this is currently my favorite of her novels and I really liked Uprooted.

Now, a big part of this novel is that Miryem Mandelstam and her family are Jewish and the Antisemitism an constant fear for their people that they face. Per Wikipedia, Novik’s father's family was Lithuanian Jews and therefore I am not going to make any comments on the representation. What I am going to say is that it was uncomfortable, given the current climate in the world toward Jewish people, to watch these people sneer at the Mandelstams when they were poor and then hate them when they had money and that they tied it to the family being Jewish. It is not just the Mandelstams that face this hatred, there is a tale of a Jewish community that had been burned and even in the city, the Jewish quarter is behind a wall from the rest of the citizens. It’s interesting that Novik decided to make her Jewish character a moneylender and have the ability to change silver into gold. There is a lot that can be said around that, but I am not the person to dig into that part of the story because I am not Jewish and do not have the knowledge to do it justice. Novik also made sure to show the Jewish community and Jewish joy, the wedding is a great example of this joy and community, and it is extended to those who are not Jewish. It would have been easy to just focus on the horrible things that happened or could happen to the Jewish community. Instead, Novik highlighted the whole experience that could be experience and the beauty of a religion that is so often demonized.

Three main storylines weave and intersect in this novel and each had a distinct micro drama that fed into the story as a whole. We start with Miryem and her family, how her father’s kind and generous heart made him a pretty bad moneylender, leading the family to be destitute. This leads Miryem to become cold to others and exact what is owed to her and her family from the village, which causes them to become even more disliked. Then there is Wanda, whose father borrowed money from Miryem’s father and now owes a debt he cannot pay, so he sends his daughter to work at the house to pay off his debt. While there, Wanda sees a family that loves one another and starts to make money in the hope that she can escape her father, who beats her and her brother regularly. As Miryem’s fortune starts to grow, and Wanda’s with her, her parents become more and more worried about the coldness that she has toward others when she exacts what is owed. During an outburst, she tells her mother that she can change silver into gold, which catches the ear of the Staryk King. He tasks her to do what she claimed or be killed and Miryen sets about changing his silver into jewelry that can be sold for gold. This changes Irina’s fate, who was a forgotten Duke’s daughter that is transformed into something beautiful when she wears the Staryk silver. This leads to her becoming the tsarina, which she did not want, and finding that a demon is possessing the tsar. Soon, all three women are intertwined to save their lives and their kingdom from warring magical forces.

Does that sound like a lot to be packed into one novel, well that isn’t even half of what happens. While I appreciate a stand alone novel in a world of duologies and trilogies, in both Uprooted and Spinning Silver, these stories are a lot to take in from start to finish. While I think that the stories are woven masterfully together, nothing felt out of place, there was just a lot going on. I’m not saying that this is a negative, but did make it so at times it felt like there was just a lot to follow between the various story threads.

What I think Spinning silver does better than Uprooted was the handling of the relationships between the female characters and the male characters they are stuck with. This story is a true enemies to lovers situation, but that is never the point of the story. The women are stuck with these men and hold their ground from the threats of violence and outwit the men that underestimate them. While I disliked some of the romantic elements in Uprooted, everything made a progression in this story that just makes sense. The relationship between daughters and fathers was also masterfully handled in this novel. All of the fathers in this novel have faults that lead their children to be in danger, no matter their intentions. Novik highlights the complicated relationships between children and parents when they realize that they have faults, they have flows, and sometimes they cannot save you.

Novik also conveys the winter cold so well that I would get cold sometimes while reading it. Novik transported me to this country attempting to eke out a living from the ever expanding winter, from the small comfortable house that the Mandelstams inhabit to the sweeping grandeur of the tsar palace to the staryk mountain of ice. Novik really made this world that was felt with all the senses and I think that is something that has made this novel so memorable.

Overall, I have a lot of praise for this novel. There were some pacing issues, but I finished this novel a couple days ago and I can only think about everything I loved about it, so I have to write it five stars. Truly an immersive and fun read.

#book review #booklr #Spinning Silver #naomi novik #5 out of 5 stars

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cassynite · 2 years

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03. Do they enjoy cooking?, 14. Do they have a hard time opening up to people? and 35. Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny? for Sparrow please! 👀

Thank you for ask <33333333 I cannot express how fun these questions are.

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

Not really. She CAN cook in a pinch, but finds the act of it too stressful--she's the kind of person who needs a recipe book right in front of her and exact measurements of all ingredients to be satisfied. Not to mention, if she cooks it wrong that's wasted food. She is more than happy just cleaning up after the cook of the day when she travels with the party.

14. Do they have a hard time opening up to people?

Lol, absolutely. "Hard time opening up to people" is basically the first line of Sparrow's biography, it's her middle name. She is terrified of being abandoned or betrayed again so she keeps people at a distance. Even people she is drawn to have to work to have her let down her guard. She is capable, and even happy, to show kindness and consideration to others, but if anyone wants to learn anything about her they'll have a hard time prying her actual thoughts and feelings out of her.

35. Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?

She 100% thinks fate is bullshit. On a fundamental level, Sparrow sees people as products of their own environments--the complicated mix of individual choice being guided by and directed from their pasts, their societies, and the needs and wants that have come from it. Everyone is a person with their own thoughts, feelings, and ability to shape the world around them, and that clashes with everyone else around them as well--it's a tidal force that can sometimes feel overwhelming an inevitable, but it's not, because even if people have different choices, or less choices, there is still choice. It just sometimes feels like fate. This mindset provides a lot of empathy for the people around her but also a lot of self-doubt and blame. She knows she can change, she just doesn't know how. It often feels like her inability to grow and be happy is a result of her own weakness.

#cassy answers #dmagedgoods #oc: sparrow #sparrow's main philosophies she keeps in mind is “everyone is a person” and “everyone can change with enough time and effort”#the idea that someone's entire life is pre-designed is anathema to her because that means someone chose to make her suffer the way she has #and she is incapable of changing that path

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patiencekane · 1 year

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The Way That Decision Making Is More Critical Than You Think

The choices we make in our lives will determine our path and destination. From simple decisions such as what to eat for breakfast or life-changing decisions like choosing a career The process of making choices determines our future. That's where we build our lives and build a future. If we make the right decisions, we reap rewards, and when we make bad decisions and suffer the consequences, we are liable. Making good decisions is crucial for our future success.

What's the significance of making decisions in your personal and professional

In our personal lives, every day we make choices, large and small, that determine the quality of our lives. When it comes to choosing the best partner to the type of residence we'd like to reside in, each decision that we make will have a major impact on the quality of our lives. It is easier to be happy when you have confidence in the decisions we make. Undecisiveness contrary, could result in delays as well as a decline in confidence in ourselves and our self-esteem. Therefore, decision-making in the personal realm is vital and essential to recognize the opportunities presented by each choice. You can get more information on decision-making by visiting random date site.

Making the right choices in the business world?

The process of making decisions is a lot of impact in our day-to-day lives, but it is also important for the world of business. The decisions taken by leaders and managers within an organization could determine the fate of the company's success. They're able to impact the business's image, its the financial results, and even their people's lives. Apple, Amazon and Google are successful businesses due to their leadership team's sound decisions. They are aware of the impact on their decisions and this was the main reason behind their successes. Therefore, decision-making is not only crucial for individuals as well as for companies.

youtube

The art of making decisions

When making an informed decision, we need to weigh up the pros and cons of our choices. This can be done by making a list of all the choices and the consequences for each one. This allows for an thorough analysis of all choices and outcomes. In addition, our values and beliefs play an important role in the process of making decisions. They guide us through the course of. Sometimes it can be challenging at moments to make a decision. Recognizing this, it's crucial to consider the situation and examine the circumstances.

The Implications of Bad Decision Making

Poor decisions can have adverse effects on both the individual and society. Bad decisions can cause financial or personal difficulties that will impact our lives for a long the course of. The inability to consider a choice could result in impulsive or poorly informed choices that lead to regrets. Moreover, in some instances, poor decision-making can even negatively impact society in general take a look at the many corporate and public scandals that stemmed due to poor making decisions.

The article's conclusion will be:

The importance of making decisions cannot be understated. The right decision could result in happiness and growth for the individual however, it can also impact society. It is the power to make decisions that lies in the ability of you to make a decision on your life path as well as its ramifications. Therefore, it is essential to be aware of the significance of decision-making and the effect it can have on our lives, society and the world around us. Individually, it's our obligation to make smart decisions to lead us to a better future.

#Youtube

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morsking · 3 years

Note

is shirou a mary sue? the guy is universally well liked, cooks like a pro at 17, has the most op power from all fate (and arguably one of the most cool powers on media), nothing ever happens to him on the true/canon path of each route, he does many stupid things but no one cares 5 minutes later, other times like in salter vs rider he is just a tactical genius out of nowhere

he is not.

shirou is well-liked but he isn't particularly popular. he is known at school for being helpful and handy but otherwise not that many people are aching to get to know him or involve him in their lives. most people only know shirou very superficially. he is not sought after as a person, only as a handy man. there's a really neat scene at the beginning of hf1 where people are talking about shirou in the dojo and see that while he's earnest, hard-working, and talented, he's a bit odd and intense and that makes him a little difficult to approach casually. the only people who really like him are those who sit down and actually spend time with him. apart from the heroines of the story with whom he has time to develop a romantic bond, you don't see other girls falling head over heels for him. in fact, in hollow ataraxia the homurahara trio and mitsuzuri are quick to write him off as someone they are vehemently not interested in romantically whatsoever.

he only cooks like a pro because he had to teach himself to cook since he was 8. it's vital to understand that since kiritsugu became increasingly disabled and was utterly incapable of living as a normal human being, shirou was forced to grow up well before he was ready to take care of his adoptive father. he learned to cook, do the dishes, do the laundry, and clean the house because there were no other real adults in the house. shirou's domestic usefulness didn't come out of nowhere, it's a set of skills he took on out of necessity and came at the expense of his emotional growth.

shirou's power also isn't op. it's stated multiple times in the story how difficult it is for him to tap into it. he's not a natural mage with strong magical circuits, and neither does he have any real "useful" magical alignments that would make it easy for him to use conventional magecraft. every training session shirou has is a life-threatening act where he pushes his body and mind to the utmost limit for the low chance he might succeed at strengthening or projecting something. whenever he grabs hold of an ability that elevates his combat skills, it's either a) done with saber's help in the fate route, b) acquired as his soul inherits experience from his proximity to archer in ubw and receiving mana from rin, or c) obtained at the expense of the integrity of his mind and body as archer's arm starts to supplant his existence in heaven's feel. and even then, there's limits to what he can trace and project. he can't trace divine constructs normally as seen with ea, and his projections eat through his mana. think about what happens in heaven's feel too. every time he projects something with archer's arm he leaps closer to death because he can't handle the strain.

to say nothing ever happens to him in canon is also disingenuous. he doesn't die in a permanent sense, but take a moment to consider the amount of mental and physical pain he suffers that forces him to confront something about himself and change. did "nothing" happen when he faced gilgamesh and heracles with saber? is growing closer to her to find the best way to help her assert her personhood "nothing"? did "nothing" happen when he fought archer? is realizing the truth of your ideals and grasping the resolve to realize them anyway in a healthier and more self-aware manner "nothing"? did "nothing" happen when he fought heracles, saber alter, and kotomine? is saving your loved ones and claiming your life as your own after years of not seeing yourself as a human being to protect those dear to you so they too learn to love and accept themselves "nothing"?

take a moment to consider in what ways shirou is stupid that aren't contradicted by him being smart in others. shirou is socially inept and utterly incapable of asking for help because he is a traumatized teenager who doesn't know what a normal life is. he has few friends. he survived a fire. he is constantly trying to make up for being unable to rescue anyone in the calamity that destroyed his childhood. he constantly jumps in front of danger to save others for that very reason and refuses help because he doesn't want others to get hurt because of him until he learns to overcome that fear of being destroyed and seeing others be destroyed. he is dumb at being a person because he's never let himself be one. he is smart in a fight because he's at least been able to process his stress and trauma in a way that helps him rationalize his way out of a crisis.

i feel the need to stress that a protagonist having special qualities fit for the narrative isn't them being a mary sue. it's them simply being a main character with agency, a main character that is engaging and interesting. how boring do you think shirou and the story would be if he was really a shit-ass mcnobody with no talents, personality, qualities, or meaningful connections to the setting? he'd be no different from every other harem protag the cishet male audience can use as a self-insert. he is supposed to subvert ideas of masculinity by being domestic. he challenges conventional ideas of heroism by showing how his ideals are flawed and how important it is that he self-actualize.

shirou faces consequences for his inaction and inexperience multiple times too. saber gets frustrated because he won't (tell her why he really won't) fight and that causes a rift in their relationship he must fix with honesty and mutual understanding. shirou's inability to protect himself from hypnotic suggestion gets him kidnapped by caster and forces archer to rescue him, and in turn their shared stubbornness elevates their conflict to deadly levels until they're forced to fight to work out their differences. heaven's feel shows you how his unwillingness to forsake who he is to properly scold sakura and save her makes the situation worse when sakura loses faith that shirou will keep his promise to her until he decides he will fulfill it for both their sakes. people do care! saber cares when her master doesn't see eye to eye with her! rin cares that shirou is too willing to throw away his own life for others! archer cares that he is at risk of becoming that which archer can't forgive himself for being! sakura cares because seeing the man she loves come home bruised and bloodied every night is wrong! illya cares because he is her only true family! rider cares because if shirou can't be sakura's ally then she's as good as dead! everyone cares because shirou has to learn to care too, and he does!

i'm going to ask you to try to engage with media without trying to uncover flaws under rigid standards like this because all it does is keep you from properly understanding what is being shown to you. you cannot hope to judge a story and its characters for all their flaws or merits if this is how you approach things.

#long post

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drarryficrecs · 2 years

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Hi! Hope you're doing well!

I was wondering if you knew of any Auror!Harry and Auror!Draco fics. Both where they are aurors and whilest they are Aurors in training.

Thank you! :)

Of course!

● All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound. Rated Explicit, word count 149k.

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

● Two Weeks by shiftylinguini. Rated Explicit, word count 22k.

If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?

● Changing Tides by carpemermaid. Rated Explicit, word count 109k.

Draco has spent half of his life spouting the things his father has taught him without much thought about how he feels about what he says. When he unexpectedly comes face to face with the Dark Lord, he grapples with the harsh realities of the world and struggles with his changing views on life. Instead of doing what’s expected of him fifth year, he joins Dumbledore’s Army and learns how to defend himself, how to make his own choices, and how he can be something greater than his father’s example as he grows into his own man rather than his father’s shadow. The choices he makes change both his and Harry’s fates, intertwining their paths until they converge.

● Boiling Point by GoldenTruth813. Rated M, word count 43k.

After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they're forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.

● Potential Gravity by zeitgeistic. Rated Explicit, word count 32k.

Draco is not good at Cards Against Humanity, but Harry’s not good at being human, so it all works out. Except for the explosions. And Harry’s inability to live when Draco’s not around.

● What Real Thing? By loveglowsinthedark. Rated Explicit, word count 12k.

They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

● Are You There, God? It's Me, Draco by floweringjudas. Rated M, word count 24k.

Harry and Draco are straight Aurors. Then they’re gay teachers. It makes sense in context.

● Crystal Clear by ICMezzo. Rated M, word count 6k.

Harry customizes a snow globe. Draco listens to centaur weather reports. Ron investigates the height of Pansy’s boots. And Hermione knows even more than everything, as usual. (No one signs up for the class for lactating witches.)

● The Venice Job by nishizono. Rated Explicit, word count 25k.

Harry Potter was one of the youngest Aurors in history. He was the Boy Who Lived, and the Boy Who Lived Again. He loved Guinness and Quidditch, and hated pineapple. He wrote letters to Hagrid every Thursday, and on Sundays, he visited Hermione and Ron. Harry Potter was also not gay.

#drarry #drarryficrecs #auror!drarry #auror!harry #auror!draco #smut #fluff #so much fluff

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ganymedesclock · 3 years

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These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user.

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist.

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

#disability #writing ruminations #readmore

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darkandstormyart · 4 years

Text

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

#xicheng #fic rec #Jiang Cheng #lan xichen #mdzs #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi

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nesquik-arccheron · 3 years

Text

A Simple Twist of Fate

Meaning:

-To experience a change in circumstances.

-A fateful happening.

-An unexpected change in situation.

Summary: Moving to a new city alone is intimidating enough without your past following behind. With a new job and the inability to move on, Nesta tries to navigate her new normal.

Meanwhile, Cassian tries to maneuver a budding relationship with the new Vet in town and coming to terms with demons from his own past.

AO3

This was really fun to write. I’m still learning about pacing and writing in general, but I’m quite happy with how this turned out.

I hope you enjoy!

————————————————————————

Chapter 1 - Cassian

There were things Cassian loved about his job. The knowledge that he had a hand in making a difference in people's lives, his ability to make a change in the system he worked for, being a product of it himself. Reunification was what reminded him day in and day out why his extended work hours and sleepless nights were worth it in the end.

Then there were the bad days, days like this one. Days where he remembered being ripped away from the rundown apartment he called home, the countless foster placements he was forced into and ran from in equal unison until he was 15. He still felt a pang of anger towards the man he called father, that painful drop of his heart every time he thought about how he cared more for the drugs that flowed through his system than his own son.

That the drugs he loved so much were the very thing to kill him.

The slam of the car door shook him from his thoughts, turning and facing the three girls that had brought up such emotions in him, “I know you’re angry Madison, but please don’t take it out on my car.”

The 16-year-old didn’t look impressed, folding her arms across her chest in defiance, “I don’t see why we need to go, we were fine, I was doing my best.”

Cassian suppressed a sigh but pushed down his personal feeling about the situation at hand.

He understood her logic, understood she felt like a failure because her ability as a child to step into the mother role that society expected of her wasn’t adequate. “I know,” he tried to soothe, but he knew nothing he said would lessen the pain, “You may not be a child, but you are also not an adult and are not responsible for your siblings, your mother is.”

Madison looked to her two younger sisters, the girl's hands clasped together to find comfort in each other, “But I’m the oldest,” was her only argument as she tried to cover the tremble in her voice, “I’m supposed to take care of them.”

“You can take care of each other, but your mother is responsible for you and your siblings well being, and making sure you attend school, you are not a backup mom,” he said with a shake of his head, “You also do not have your license, so you shouldn’t have been driving the car.”

“I had to get us to school!” She defended. He wanted to tell her he understood her need, her desperation in that moment, to avoid this very outcome, but he kept his mouth firmly shut.

“We love you, Maddie,” the youngest, Lily, interrupted, “And Mr. Nassiri is right, mom may be sick…but you are our sister, not our mom.” The other, quieter sister said nothing, just nodded in agreement, latching their finger together in a comforting gesture.

“Besides, I won't listen to you anyway, you bossy bitch.” Cassian coughed in a silent reprimand but didn’t scold her.

“Together,” Lily said, and Madison echoed in reply.

Cassian pushed down the lump in his throat at the sight, they would be okay.

~*~*~*~*~

Cassian grumbled as he pulled up to Winter Court Veterinary Hospital that afternoon. He had just dropped off Madison and her sisters at their new foster home and had spent the better part of the morning talking the girl down.

He left her with his number and the promise that he would be there whenever she needed him. The significance of the gesture reflected brightly in her smile.

It still didn’t make this particular process any more enjoyable, he didn’t want to be here. He would rather be at home, taking a nap and drinking his fourth coffee of the day, but he made a promise to Mor.

Mor had an intense love of animals, Cats specifically, and loved to rescue, but she already had two cats and her landlady had threatened to kick her out after the third addition. She had called up Cassian two days ago, begging him to take the tiny thing, and there was no way he could say no to her.

It still didn’t mean he was happy that in the span of 24 hours it had pooped multiple times on his floor and used his favourite jacket as a scratching post.

He cursed as he pulled the carrier from the back seat, the white fluff ball hissing and scratching at him. Cassian swore the thing hated him, but the moment he was presented with those sad blue eyes he knew there was no going back. The thing was small and scared and instinctually did what it needed to do to protect itself.

He still hated cats regardless.

A small chime emitted from the door as Cassian stepped into the clinic, where a perky blonde -whose name tag read Viviane- greeted him from behind the counter, “Hello, you must be Mr. Nassiri!”

“How’d you guess?” He inquired, setting the carrier down on the counter. The woman immediately began cooing at the animal and it settled instantly for her. Of course, he thought.

“Mor called to make the appointment,” she explained, pressing her hand to the mesh material of the carrier opening, the cat rubbing against her hand purring, “And I know most of our clients by now, I don't recognize you."

The cat meowed loudly as she turned her attention to him, “So, Mor never gave me a name for this cutie, what have you decided on?”

Cassian shrugged, “It’s a stray, I didn’t know I had to name it.”

“Of course you do!” Viviane gasped dramatically, hand to her chest, absolutely scandalized, “Just because it’s a stray, doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve a name!” Point.

“Ok, next time?” He’d let Laila take care of that one.

“You better,” she said pointedly, “Now have a seat, Dr. Archeron will be with you shortly,”

Cassian made himself comfortable by the door, setting the carrier on the chair beside him, “I thought I was seeing Dr. Vintner?”

“He’s away, a week in Cali for a convention,” she sighed woefully, “Why does a week feel so long, when those you care for are gone…oh that was half a poem, I should write that down,” she hummed as she began to scribble down the words onto a stray piece of paper.

Cassian said nothing, unsure of how to reply to the suggestive statement. It wasn't his business what went on between her and her boss. Potentially.

“Mr. Nassiri?” A voice called from that back, so soft he almost missed it.

“Room 3,” Viviane clarified with an annoyed wave of her hand, not looking up from her frantic writing.

Grabbing the carrier, Cassian thanked Viviane as he passed, turning left around the corner she had gestured to and into the third room down the hall.

Cassian never thought of himself as someone easily surprised, but he was taken aback by the beautiful golden-haired brunette who stood before him as he entered.

Her hair was pulled back into an intricate braid down her back, framing her perfectly symmetrical face (something Cassian never cared to notice about anyone before). He watched as a single hair escaped, falling into her eye, and he thought it cute when she blew it from her vision as she wiped down the chrome table.

It wasn’t until he approached her did she look up in acknowledgment, those stunningly blue-grey eyes the first thing he noticed when she did, the dark circles that stained the skin beneath doing nothing to distract from their beauty. She couldn’t be older than 27.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Archeron,” she introduced, waving her hand over the wet surface in an attempt to dry it quicker, “Why don’t you set the carrier down and let's have a look.”

He did as instructed, but when he went to make a move to undo the zipper, the white ball of fluff hissed, “Let me,” the women insisted, and Cassian could stop the disbelieving groan from escaping as she easily unzipped the material, gently guiding the cat out.

“You don’t like cats, do you?” She questioned him, running her fingers through the thick fur, "So how did she come into your care?"

"I took her in as a favour to a friend, they’re not my first choice in pet,” He admitted with a shake of his head.

“They can tell,” she replied absent-minded, a displeased look on her face, “She’s got mats.”

“Mats?” Cassian watched as her thin fingers caught in the fur around the cat's neck. Looking closer, he noticed the almost faded outline of a ring on her left hand. He assumed it must have been sizeable given the mark it left behind.

“She could use a good shave, there is no getting these out,” she remarked, he chuckled at the image in his head of a shaved rat.

“She as found as a stray?” She asked as she lifted her, inspecting her.

“Yeah, rescued a few days ago, do you know how old she is?”

He continued to watch her delicate fingers as she checked over the small animal, amazed at how calm the creature was when she stuck her finger into its mouth, rubbing them against the teeth and gums, “Judging by the maturity of her teeth and fur, along with her size, she is between a year to three years old if I have to guess, but some additional tests may close the gap.”

The awe he felt as he watched her was on his face, the cat allowing the Doctor to maneuver and manipulate its body here and there without so much as a single meow. She unwrapped her stethoscope from her neck and listened to her heartbeat before talking, “She looks relatively healthy for a stray, besides the severe matting and a wound on her right leg that could use some stitches, overall she's in good condition.”

Cassian sagged in relief, though he would get reimbursed for the vet bills once the cat was adopted through the rescue, he didn’t want a sick animal near Laila, “I would like to keep her here, give her a hair cut, bath, run some tests and get her on a regular vaccine schedule.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he wasn’t sure what to say, did he make small talk or did he just watch her.

“We’ll fix you up won't we, you’ll be good as new in no time,” she cooed at the cat, and it meowed back in response like it could understand her. “Persian cats are beautiful, aren’t they.”

“Yeah, I guess, but I’m more of a dog person,” he volunteered.

“I can tell,” she smirked down at what he now knew was a Persian, it swat its paw in agreement.

He watched her turn around and begin to type furiously on the computer behind her, logging her findings, "So, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around before," he stated.

It was her turn to shrug, “It seems logical that we would have never crossed paths, but I recently just moved here, about six months ago,” he noted she seemed shocked at her casual offering of that information.

“Velaris may be home to over fifty thousand, but this community is rural in comparison, everyone knows everyone,” Cassian explained to her, “And their business.”

“Some don’t make it hard,” She motioned towards the front of the clinic, her laugh made his stomach flutter.

“That they don’t,” he grinned back.

“So, I’ve sent your paperwork to Viviane, she can help you check out,” he watched her guide the cat back into the carrier with ease, “Hopefully she isn’t still daydreaming.”

He thanked her and turned towards the door to leave, “I’m Cassian, but the way.”

“I know, it’s on your file.”

“Oh, right,” Cassian bit his cheek in embarrassment.

“I’m Nesta.”

~*~*~*~*~

It was 3:00 by the time Cassian left the vet and pulled into The Daily Grind, a small but popular cafe owned by his friend Emerie. He had first met her eight years ago when she moved here from Illyria, scared and alone without a soul to depend on. In turn, she was there for him when he had first taken custody of Laila three years back. The support system they built around each other due to their circumstances was irreplaceable.

The atmosphere Emerie was able to create had found him spending more time here than at home when Laila wasn't with him.

“Wow, don’t you look like shit,” she snorted, filling up the largest to-go cup she had and pushed it towards him.

“Look, feel,” he sighed, plopping down onto one of the stools in front of the counter.

“Rough day, rough night?” She teased, pointing to the scratches on and up his arms, “Who is she and where can I find one…or maybe even get her number?”

“You’re so funny, hilarious,” Cassian grumbled, taking a large gulp of the bitter liquid, feeling the calming effect it had on him. “But I don’t think she’s the kind of pussy you want, but that of a different species.”

Emerie made a face, “Don’t talk about your fucked up fantasy’s in my cafe,” and swat him with the towel she had previously been using to clean the glass of the pastry display.

“It’s a cat Mor rescued.”

“Another one?” She said in surprise, knowing how her landlady threatened eviction if she dared bring another furry rat into her complex.

“Hence me, having a cat.”

“I bet Laila loves that, she has been begging for a pet since her last birthday.”

Laila has discovered pet patrol a few months before her fourth birthday, becoming obsessed with needing to have a dog. He had refused her, many times between then and now, but trying to reason with a four-year-old was a lost cause. So Laila had been ecstatic, seemingly forgetting that the animal Mor had brought over was not a dog.

Apparently, the finer details didn’t matter, she only saw her new best friend.

All Cassian saw was his best leather jacket shredded on the floor and shit on his carpet.

“That she was, I have a feeling the thing will be sticking around for a while,” Cassian rubbed his temples as Emerie howled, loving his discomfort. He wasn’t an animal person in any sense of the word, “I think I need to invest in more band-aids and antiseptic cream, the vet didn’t seem to have much issue with her though, she was amazing to watch, I couldn't believe how she calmed the wild thing down," he went on, much to Emerie’s amusement. Rarely did Cassian pay attention to women in such a way since Laila came into his life. In college, he rarely left a party without a sorority girl or puck bunny on his arm, but he had his foster daughter to think about now.

“Oh, so is this the pussy you’re fucked up about,” she badgered. Emerie was like the little sister he never had, he realized shortly after meeting her, it wasn’t as great as everyone made it out to be. He thought it would be him mentoring her, but instead, it was a barrage of insults and jokes at his expense.

“Let’s not forget, I’m not the only one fucked up over a pussy,” he shot back, flinging a five-dollar bill onto the counter.

“Ah, so you admit it!” She yelled after him.

“Oh, by the way, Mor says hi,” he added, feeling victorious at the blush that ran across her face as he headed to pick up Laila from school.

~*~*~*~*~

It was a few days later when he saw her again, though not under the best of circumstances.

It was ten minutes to midnight when he burst through the door of the clinic, the white cat meowing pitifully in its carrier.

He had just gone to bed when he heard the crash from the kitchen and a distressed meow following it. It seemed the leftover crumbs from dinner that night had attracted her, even having been fed a few hours before, and took the risk of jumping onto the high countertop, falling and ripping open her stitches.

He quickly gathered her up into the carrier, her now shorter fur stained red, before taking Laila over to their Russian neighbor's house before getting in his car. Nadia was an elderly woman in her 80’s, though she didn’t look a day over 60. Nadia would take Laila from time to time, and she loved the blonde woman with the funny accent.

“Oh my,” the receptionist said as he burst in. It wasn’t Viviane, but some busty brunette who rivaled him in height.

“She broke her stitches open trying to jump onto the counter,” he explained, breathing through his nose to stifle the panic he felt. He might hate the thing, but he didn’t enjoy the possibility of a severe injury...or death.

“Come this way, Dr. Archeron is free,” she said, leading him to the same room he occupied days before.

The woman knocked on the door before opening it, “Dr. Archeron, we have a cat with ripped stitches.”

His heart jumped when she rounded the corner, just as beautiful as before, the circles under her eyes still just as prominent against her pale skin, “Oh, you again!”

He would have taken offense to that had she not sounded more surprised than disappointed, “Seems that way, Ghost broke her stitches.”

He tried to focus on the issue at hand when she walked up to them, the fresh scent of her heavy perfume invading his nose, “Oh, you poor thing.”

“She had never done that before, so I didn’t think I would have to block her off from the kitchen,” Cassian explained, feeling shameful.

“Don’t worry, I see so many cats because they have hurt themselves climbing or jumping onto whatever surface,” Nesta comforted, preparing herself to clean and re-stitch the wound.

Cassian couldn’t take his eyes off that tan line on her ring finger as she worked, “So, you decided on Ghost?”

He held his hands up in defense, “Not my first choice,” he wasn’t going to argue with a kindergartener.

“I believe you,” she chuckled low in her throat.

They were silent as she worked, Cassian was afraid if he distracted her she would hurt Ghost, but he knew she was good at what she did. It was something else to watch her nimble fingers operate, the fluid motions, her soft comforting words relaxing the distressed animal. It was easier to see her work now that the cat's hair was shaved down due to the matting.

“You’re good with her,” he complimented as she continued, he never liked silence for too long, “Do you have any pets?”

“No, but I did,” Nesta sighed despondently, “Her name was Sephora, she looked just like Ghost, the best friend I ever had.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” it sounded almost crude, like he should say something more deep and comforting, but wasn’t sure what that would be. What else could he say?

“It’s okay, she died two years ago, old age. She lived a good life and we made each other very happy, what else could I ever want for her?” The sad look remained, but she didn’t look like she would cry.

“Nothing,” he agreed.

“Well, she is all good as new,” She snapped off her gloves, throwing away the materials, “I’ll get one of the techs to get her cleaned up for you, and send you home with some pain meds for her.”

“That would be great, thanks for your help,” Cassian said, looking down at the injured animal.

“Normally I wouldn’t say you need to thank me, but my shift ended 10 minutes ago, so I deserve it,” Nesta smirked. Cassian thought even when she was being snarky she was attractive.

But before he could reply, one of the girls Nesta had called for came by to retrieve Ghost to clean her up before they left. He was grateful she seemed to know it would be a nightmare for the both of them if he made the attempt.

“Well, I’m off,” she told him as the other women collected Ghost in a towel, following her out, “But I‘m sure I’ll see you again,”

“I’m sure you will.”

~*~*~*~*~

Cassian came home to the living room light on, Nadia must have moved them over at Laila’s request. The little girl was snuggled up against Nadia’s chest, wrapped tightly in a blanket, eyes red as he entered the living space.

“Hey, little one,” he sighed, he was hoping she would have fallen back asleep, but he wasn’t surprised. It had scared her, Cassian waking her up in the middle of the night and taking her to Nadia’s must have terrified her. He didn't want to think about the memories that must have brought up for her.

“Cassie,” she cried, arms reaching for him and shoving her face into his neck when he gathered her into his arms.

“Is Ghost gonna die?” She cried into him, a hiccup shaking her body.

“No, she is fine, she just had a boo boo, but the nice Vet fixed her up all nice,” he promised, rubbing small circles onto her back.

Nadia quietly stood up and folded the blanket over the back of the couch, placing an understanding arm on his shoulder as he mouthed a thank you before she left.

“Ghost is home and she just needs some rest,” he showed her the carrier, Ghost letting out a little mew to let her know she was there and okay. He wondered if it was truly Nesta’s way with animals or if he wasn't insane to think the cat's distaste was truly just for him.

“Why don’t we all go upstairs and I’ll read you a story,” Cassian offered her, glad to see her tears stop.

Laila rubbed them away with her tiny hands, smearing them over her face, “Okay.”

He settle them all into her room, placing Ghost on the rocking chair in the corner, scared to remove her from the carrier lest she attempts another jump and injures herself again. He tucked her in and grabbed her favourite bedtime story and snuggled in beside her.

It wasn't long before Laila was asleep, the rush of emotion paired with the late hour had the little girl asleep before he reached the fifth page.

Closing the book in his lap, he brushed the hair from her face. His heart burst with the love he had for this little girl, but he couldn’t keep those worries that broke free every once in a while at bay. The ones he locked up far in the back of his mind.

On nights like this, he allowed those thoughts to come forward. He prided himself on his level-headedness when it came to dealing with children, especially teenagers, but he lost his cool tonight, causing this little girl unneeded stress. He knew it wasn't realistic, to keep her from even the simplest of heartbreaks, but he sure as hell would try.

But he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever be enough himself. Sure, she had Mor, and he was forever great full for Emerie, but he wondered what it would be like to have someone else around, to share the emotional burden when he couldn’t anymore.

Seeing that faded reminder on Nesta’s ring finger stirred something in him. Did she understand his need, his loneliness? The dark circles under her eyes made him think she may understand more than he knew.

With one last look at the sleeping toddler, Cassian untangled himself, turned off the light, and went to bed.

------------------------

Tag list: Note that I have produced an amalgamated list of anyone who has asked to be on my tagged list on any of my Nessian fics to make it easier for me. Please let me know if you wish to be added or removed.

@live-the-fangirl-life @mehx1000 @champanheandluxxury @silvernesta @swankii-art-teacher @a-court-of-valkyries @misswonderflower @snickerdoodlechittybangbang @mis-lil-red @angelic-voice-1997 @bo0kmaster69 @simpingfornestaarcheron @vinylcryes

#nesta archeron #cassian #pro nesta #pro cassian #nessian #nessian fic #nessian fanfiction #nesta x cassian #a simple twist of fate #my fanfiction #my fics

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

Note

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success.

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously.

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling.

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach.

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future.

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview.

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #i hope this was helpful!#i had too much fun writing it jkahlgkjhgdf i love meta #but thank you for submitting <33333 #oh discount vampire sasuke uchiha we really in it now #rambles #not incorrect quotes

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