#also the music that inspires me for this are:

[bugsinshoes]

OKAYOKAYOKAYOAY SOOOOO

i CANNOT stop thinking about musical falls. GENUINELY. it rotted my brain. SO! i've spent a bit of time doodling and coming up with ideas for how BILL would be presented on stage.

firstly, we have 2-D Bill/Pre-Weirdmageddon Bill. the idea i had for this form is that we'd use a spotlight tinted with a yellow gel and on top of that there'd be a gobo (stencil) of Bill's triangular form.

(examples of how that'd look onstage)

pros- spotlights can effortlessly move around stage without physically interfering with actors, also it mirrors how in the show, he's limited to the mindscape and how he doesn't have a physical form yadda yadda yadda (you get my idea)

cons- not much movement/expression. also kind of a disembodied voice? Bill is very expressive so it'd be hard to showcase something like that on a cut out stencil of him.

ANOTHER IDEA (i just had now as i'm writing this): Bill projection !!

so, it'd be a projected image of Bill which would be able to be animated so THAT solves the issue of the previous idea. plus i'm sure there'd be a way to move the projection around the stage if needed.

uhhh anyways !! back to my original ideas !!!!

obviously everything i've just mentioned is for 2-D Bill, but HERE is where it gets exciting. when Bill gains his physical form during Weirdmageddon.

so, when Bill gains a physical form, i had 3 ideas:

IDEA 1- Lin Manuel Miranda as Bill.

now, in my previous post about musical falls, i was kind of /j ing the idea, but i think it'd be genuinely hilarious. imagine this, duing the whole musical, bill is this 2-dimensional projection, kinda eerie. makes you think "how is he gonna look once he gains a physical body?" then BOOM its Lin Manuel Miranda. obviously his costume would be a waistcoat and jacket combo (something similar to how i drew him in my past post) but yeah. that's really the only reason. it'd be funny. idk.

IDEA 2- Puppet Bill.

this Bill would be more canon-accurate, still in his triangle form, except he'd be puppeted by someone. now, this comes with the same problem as gobo-bill. LACK OF EXPRESSION. he's stuck to one emotion/"facial" expression. (also i have no idea how puppets work. if anyone with more knowledge than me wants to add on/constructively criticise, you're welcome to!) i didn't really expand/think too much about this idea either soooo.....

IDEA 3 (my favourite)-

drag. bill.

i really like this idea. now, i'm no costume designer, nor do i do drag (so apologies if i've gotten anything wrong) but i think this would be something really cool to see on stage. the shape language of the costume, alongside a gorgeous makeup look, AS WELL as it being a real person acting, really feels like a good direction to go in, as it would allow full movement, gestures, and expressions !! (hooray!!) also i really need to see an awesome Bill-inspired drag look onstage. it'd be awesome.

ANYWAYS THAT'S IT !! THOSE ARE MY IDEAS !!!

this is all for fun as i KNOW this won't ever become an IRL stage production (probably) but a guy can dream. i just had so much fun coming up with ideas for the heck of it sooo !!!

another MASSIVE thanks to @fordtato for making that video about musical falls. i think i'm obsessed.

AAAA THAT'S ALL !!!! :D

[riririnnnn]

The sole inspiration of this theory is this post by @someprettyname.

You know, one of the topics Kaneshiro-san hasn't talked about in the Manga yet is academic pressure on a student, and this topic perfectly suits Shidou out of all the characters in Blue Lock. He is like the perfect candidate to showcase a burnout student who had to put up with all the pressure their parents placed on them, and I have three reasons to believe in this theory:

-> Monologue

All his monologues during the U-20 match has one common theme, "Leaving a proof of yourself for the world to remember you." And one common belief in a household with great academic pressure is that you are made to believe from a very young age that if you can't achieve something in your life, then you are completely worthless. These kind of parents think that being happy with one's life isn't enough, you need to and got to be something or do something big in your life.

One more thing that slipped through ALL of our eyes is that Shidou is actually a pretty smart person:

Shidou was so quickly able to correctly judge Kunigami and Reo, and I think that's a pretty good testament for one's intelligence.

Of course, I do not believe that a grade can fully show a student's capabilities, but I do also believe that you need to have, at least, some kind of intelligence to score good grades. And considering all of this, I can place a safe bet that Shidou was some kind of scholar student and being a smart kid in an Asian household means having to carry lots of academic expectations!

-> Behaviour

You don't even need to fully know about Shidou to understand that he is far away from a student who is considered ideal and that's the point I'm trying to make! He isn't an ideal student because he is tired of being one for so long!

Okay, to understand my point better, imagine this:

You are being forced to be at the top of your class, to be a good, well-mannered, well-behaved student. It's like a constant invisible rope of expectation tied around your neck that never goes away and it's eating you up inside, so what would you do?

Most likely: rebel.

And that's what Shidou is doing! He is aggressive, violent and foul-mouthed—everything that can NOT be found in a trait list of an ideal student. Also, dyeing your hair in bright colours has been a pretty common thing any student does in order to 'rebel'.

You getting me? Please say yes.

-> Favourite song

His choice of music was the first thing that made me believe that Shidou is just being a rebel student. Hide, as stated by Wikipedia, was (or maybe is) considered as the icon for Japanese youth to rebel against the 'conformist' society of Japan. And Pink Spider song goes deeper than it appears—this and this beautifully explains about the above mentioned song.

Here are some few excerpts of the articles:

This song's meaning in Shidou's case can be interpreted in various ways, and I would love if you guys come up with your own interpretations.

For me, it's like Shidou felt trapped in whatever way he was living. He was made to feel that if he followed every rules, got good grades, behaved like an ideal student, then everything will be fine and will work in his way and that his elders really know the best for him and that he is just naïve. This type of living ended up suffocating him even more—he wanted to truly live—he bottled everything up and one day, he just snapped and that was when the Shidou Ryusei we know was born.

One more small and very personal reason for me to believe that he was a scholar student with too much academic pressure is that one of his favourite subjects is Art.

Speaking from personal experience, I've noticed that people who were forced to study and do well academically usually end up falling in love with making art.

I don't know how to explain it well, sorry.

That's it, I guess.

What do you guys think?

[flymetosnarryland]

My Snarry WIPs' list.

I would like to share something. My Snarry WIPs' list, yup. Why? I always felt weird writing about myself and stuff I do, but I'm processing changes and thought I can share not only art, lol.

How many project are you working on? I'll dive into couple of mine:

Date with a Star - a Post-War romantic comedy. Harry is in love with Severus, Severus secretly loves Harry. Both are too scared to say what they feel to not lose their friendship. A friend in need asks Harry for help and this is where the wild ride with dumb dating TV-show starts. Especially because Harry don't know that the same friend-in-need blackmailed Severus to get him into the same show too. This is actually a second Snarry fic I ever started to write, inspired by dating TV-show from 1992. I remember that when the idea for this one hit me, I was laughing for a good hour (that TV-show was absolutely ridiculous). And I still feel a pinch of positive embarrassment when think about what's going on there. In fact this story made me want to learn how to translate my wiritngs into English. It's half written and translated too. I really have to finish second part.

Infraction - my first monster fic. My baby. Crime (serial killer), slow burn, Muggle AU featuring Marauders and Death Eaters, political sheananigans and Severus' old flame. I have entire story written out from beginning to the end. What's more... with an ending that allows me to dive into second book (I'm excited lika a child) including the initial idea for it, ahh. Every time I think about Infraction, I feel butterflies in my stomach and a tear comes to my eye, damn. However, the entire project requires a huge amount of work. And a few modifications that I finally have to do to complete the first stage. It's not simple, though. I regret a bit that I released the cover, prologue and first chapter. I was prematurely carried away by the joy of creation, but that's okay. Going to fix it all in time.

In the Moonlight - working title. Something I planned to write for last year's Snarry AUctoberfest, but the beast got bigger, lol. Crime (kidnapping), Muggle AU - my great weakness and, most importantly, inspired by the movie Bodyguard (the one with Whitney Huston). Much like Infraction, this fic is fully planned and scripted. I can't believe I managed to do it. I wrote 1/4 of the whole thing and even have the lyrics of original song that Harry dedicates to Severus, although I don't know anything about music at all (an elephant stepped on my ear).

In between - a drawing series. Harry and Severus in a cute/fluff version. Post-War and happy life, because that's what they deserve!

First time - Drama/Romance, Muggle AU (gosh, yeah, again!). This is a project I want to do 50/50 as a fic/comic. A few works and dirty sketches have already landed here. I have a little dream of writing something that includes e-mails/text messages. In general, a romance that started online. Aren't Harry and Severus purfect for this? (Plus doing art in colour for this project was a test I wanted to start before 3B.)

3B - a Vampire fic, yessss. Can you believe that once I said, I'll never ever write or do anything connected to vampires? Hehe, now I'm in the middle of it, fully commited and over the moon. A bit dark/angsty story with a bonus: illustrations. Crime (more like, cri-me a river, lol; I mean, again? Yup xD), Post-War, a few intrigues, even a SnarryWedding o_0 gosh. That is another thing I said: "No, that's not going to happen." I guess, I fell on my head since now I do everything I promised to myself not to. But it's fun. And bloody, mhaha. I also created my own Vampire Villains and I kinda fell in love with them. Going to sneak into this fic a bit of blood magic mechanics that I created for my fantasy book, too. The picture at the top is one version of the cover sketches ɷ◡ɷ

Adrenaline - working title. Post-War/Drama/Romance and slow burn, a bit of Hogwarts, a bit of Quidditch and for a change Severus will have to show that he wants something more. I mean, I always writing/thinking about Harry chasing Severus. So here the dynamic will change a little. Can't wait for it! The idea for this one was accidentaly born last week and I can't stop it anymore. The inspiration comes from the cover art for Witch Weekly that I did, lol. I had no idea that at the stage of brainstorming, it would turn into another monster. It supposed to be a short story, but, apparently, I'm not good at short stories and it's time to come to terms with it xD I won't cry either because I like Harry and Severus pairing up in different ways/AU's, hehe. And most importantly - creating all these things, even if they don't fully see the world outside my drawer, still gives me great joy!

[jgroffdaily]

That faraway shore’s not looking too far for Jonathan Groff!

The Merrily We Roll Along star nabbed the award for best performance by a leading actor in a musical for his work in the Broadway revival of Stephen Sondheim’s 1981 musical at the 2024 Tony Awards on Sunday, June 16.

After taking the stage to accept his first-ever Tony Award, Groff, 39, thanked his family for "always allowing my freak flag to fly without ever making me feel weird about it."

Through tears, the actor also addressed his Merrily castmates Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez, saying, "You are more than old friends — you are soulmates. And I’m looking forward to watching each other change for the rest of our lives."

Groff, whose previous credits include roles in Glee, the Frozen franchise and Mindhunter, has been nominated for two Tonys before — in 2007 for Spring Awakening and 2015 for his portrayal of King George III in the original Broadway run of Hamilton — but Sunday marked his first win.

He went on to thank “Merrily We Roll Along” director Maria Friedman and fellow cast members Lindsay Mendez and Daniel Radcliffe, the latter of whom also won his first Tony Award on Sunday.

“You are more than old friends, you are soulmates,” he said of the two actors, “and I’m looking forward to watching each other change for the rest of our lives.”

He ended his speech by looking back on his childhood in Pennsylvania, when he would record the Tony Awards on VHS.

“To actually be able to be a part of making theater in this city and just as much to be able to watch the work of this incredible, incredible community has been the greatest gift and pleasure of my life,” he said.

Jonathan Groff thanked his family for backing his love for theater in a touching acceptance speech after his first-ever Tony Award win on Sunday.

The actor and singer, who previously received Tony nominations for his roles in “Spring Awakening” and “Hamilton,” won Best Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical for his portrayal of Franklin Shepard in the Broadway revival of “Merrily We Roll Along.”

“Thank you for letting me dress up like Mary Poppins when I was 3. Thank you for letting me act out scenes from I Love Lucy on my 10th birthday. Thank you for always allowing my freak flag to fly without ever making me feel weird about it,” said Groff of his parents, Jim and Julie Groff, and his brother, David.

He continued, “Even if they didn’t always understand me, my family knew the lifesaving power of fanning the flame of a young person’s passions without judgment. I walked through life with an open heart because you let me know that I could.”

Groff mentioned his move to New York, where he got a job waiting tables and volunteered with Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids, and expressed his gratitude to those involved in “Spring Awakening” who helped him become part of the Broadway community.

″[You] not only made that dream come true but also inspired me to come out of the closet when I was 23,” said the actor, who came out as gay in 2009.

“I’m now 39 and musical theater is still saving my soul.”

[milkbobatyun]

loving taehyun is like study dates in the library

pairing: non-idol!kang taehyun x non-idol!reader

genre: fluff, slight headcanon, drabble (-ish)

summary: what it’s like loving taehyun, but neither of you are idols and the only worry you have right now is surviving exam season

word count: 640

a/n: inspired by my current wave of exams that i have to complete, it's the end of the semester and the teachers have banded together to create hell for me (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) a tiny rant but WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE STUDENTS 6 EXAMS IN 2 WEEKS, WITH THE GAT (those who know will know) BEING ONE OF THEM?!?!?! anyways, to self indulge, i'll imagine that taehyun is studying w me while i try to soldier on and fight the urge to procrastinate (• ᴖ •｡ )

loving taehyun is like studying together before exams, with taehyun being your biggest supporter and best tutor.

the end of a semester spelled a great deal of exams that were coming up. in order to prepare yourself for the onslaught, you began the long and tedious work of revising for your subjects. thankfully, you had your biggest believer and best tutor to help out for you, taehyun.

the library was the perfect place to start studying. with its calm ambience, you entered your reserved study room, before setting your desk up to begin studying, while you waited for taehyun to come join you. however, only 30 minutes of studying passed before you fought a losing battle in ignoring your alluring phone, buzzing with its notifications.

out of temptation, you reached over and grabbed your phone, before getting lost in the rabbit hole called your social media apps. 

‘only 10 minutes.’ you silently promised yourself.

an hour passed, and you were still scrolling through your phone. just as you were silently giggling at a tiktok you came across, your phone was gently taken out of your grip by a familiar hand. turning around, you came face to face with deep brown boba eyes.

your face lit up, taehyun had finally come over. with a teasing look of disapproval, taehyun confiscated your phone, putting it at the further end of the table, before he sat down and took out his materials to accompany you in studying.

you tried to bargain with him into giving your phone back, but his response was adamant. study for 1 hour straight and you might be able to have your phone back as a reward.

with a sigh and pout, you agreed. yet he also compromised, offering you one of his earbuds, before connecting them to the playlist the two of you curated, shuffling the music and letting it flow through the earbuds.

20 minutes ticked by, yet when taehyun turned his head to check on you, you had your cheek resting in your hand, a look of defeat on your face. a quick glance down at the textbook in front of you told him you had gotten nowhere.

“you stuck?” he whispered quietly.

you nodded dejectedly, chewing on your lip. this was the part of the material that confused you and the reason why you had put off studying.

throwing his arm around your chair, taehyun leaned in to see the concept you were stuck on, while you took the opportunity to rest your head on his shoulder.

an exclamation of understanding informed you that he had understood the material and with simplicity and efficiency, taehyun began to explain the course to you. within minutes, you had grasped a comprehensive understanding of the coursework, better than what the teacher had tried to stuff into your brain in 3 months.

with that, the room lulled back into silence. from time to time, taehyun would check on you, who was deeply concentrated in tackling all the practice exams the teacher had given to you. unbeknownst to you, he watched with soft, love-filled eyes and small dimple smile.

a relieved sigh and satisfied stretch of your arms marked the end of your tedious session of studying. taehyun had long since finished, but he patiently waited for you to complete your work, before ceremoniously handing you back your phone.

once you caught up to all the notifications on your phone, you packed up your materials and exited the library.

taehyun steered you in the direction of the nearest convenience store, announcing that a hard day’s work of studying should be rewarded with a good, (un)healthy meal of ramen and tteokbokki. soon, it becomes engrained tradition to go out for cheese tteokbokki and ramen after a diligent day of revising.

overall, loving taehyun is 143 study dates out of 100.

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳)  © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024

/ づ ♡

[eazy-peazy54]

My problem with the Will Wood fandom, (a.k.a touch grass, a.k.a stan culture can suck it) (an essay.)

This one is LONG and a DOOZY, so buckle up if you like to read.

just want to clarify, i do NOT hate the will wood fandom in itself. AT ALL. I love you guys (/p)

i just dislike the people who say weird and creepy shit. if that doesnt apply to you, cool! but tell the people who do that shit to knock it off.

NO DISCOURSE IN THE REBLOGS I WILL ATTACK YOU

One HUGE gripe I have with the Will Wood fandom is how some of you guys treat Will Wood like (and this is literally the only way I can put this that isn't too serious) some all-powerful deity of knowledge that you would kill AND die for. In this essay, I will explain why [some of] you are fucking creeps.

Will Wood. Where do I begin. For the very few who are unaware, Will Wood is a singer-songwriter who makes very strange avant garde whatchamacallit evil jazz/swing music. He has been known as Will Wood since 2015, where he released his first album, Everything Is A Lot, under the name Will Wood and the Tapeworms.

Me personally, I first heard of him from the song Dr. Sunshine Is Dead, from the good old days of 2018 animation meme Youtube.

Ever since the inevitable Tiktokification of the song I / Me / Myself, from The Normal Album, the Will Wood fandom has become... well.. full of children. I have no place to speak, of course, because I myself, am a teenager, but I'm talking like. 11-14 year olds.

11-14 year olds who are all fucking INSANE.

Will Wood has been put in what I like to call;

The Holy Trinity.

This being the big three artists who the mentally ill queers (like me) listen to.

Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, and of course, Will Wood.

Being in this holy trinity has both done him good, and bad. On the positive side, yay!! More streams, more plays, more people to appreciate the craft, and more people who like the music! On the negative side, now you have an army of children listening to adult music, interacting with adult music and music videos, who are willing to do ANYTHING to get your attention, because they are young and don't know much better.

And here, stuck in the middle of it all, is poor William.

Stuck as a straight "gay icon," in a sea of twelve year olds.

Well shit.

---

Leading to the second part of my half-essay.

2020. The year shit changed for Will Wood. The Normal Album was released, and people found themselves relating to I / Me / Myself, as stated before. Then this "new," unheard of fandom was kind of birthed upon Tiktok. They were treating him like fucking jesus.

Which is weird.

They were sad, gay, looking for answers, and found them in Will's music. Which is like. Cool!

But when people were saying that he was trans, and then switched up and said he was making fun of trans people?

Yeah. Not that cool actually.

Coming back to the present now, Will has stated how weird these kids are.

In a response from a AMA for In Case I Make It on the official Will Wood subreddit, (I know. Ew, gross, Reddit, but this post was what inspired me to make this in the first place, so,) Will says this:

---

"When I was living in the sticks along the Delaware during the pandemic, I had this weird sort of mystical thing going on inside my head that was trying connect dots in my life and turn meaningless nothing things into signs that I would die.

This was happening around the same time I was dealing with getting actual public attention for the first time, and was living in an area where nobody wore masks, and was living with people who were at risk of serious covid complications if they caught it. Also for most of it I was the dreaded 27, and having been a bit of a junkie in my younger years and an idiot with a barely-treated psychiatric wreck in my brain for most of the ones following it, it was not unlike me to assume I'd die young.

It just seemed too perfect.

As I was dealing with the reception of the normal album (my first truly scathing reviews, I/Me/Myself "discourse," being the subject of conversation on a larger scale) which was beyond what I was prepared for psychologically in terms of its scope and type, my anxious rumination started to veer toward genuine paranoia.

I started thinking that I would die by my own hand or be murdered by one of these crazed Will Wood fans in the dead of night. So I didn't sleep like ever, I lost a bunch of weight and couldn't gain it back for a while, I freaked out a whole bunch and I'm surprised looking back I never lost my sobriety or whatever.

Since it started to look more and more like cosmic fact that I was doomed, I started to feel greater and greater desperation to get out these songs that I had been quietly writing over the previous year or two. Songs I'd written while going through a big breakup and wrestling with rotten parts of me that were finally accessible due to my finally being properly medicated and dealing with the real shit in therapy. And then songs I'd written as I went through these changes."

---

Obviously that is a lot to unpack for a Tumblr essay, but since you’re this far, you probably read it all already.

“Stans,” as most would call them, and “Stan Culture” as a whole, is just a huge wreck. Everyone is always fighting someone. We know this. We all do. Stans scare artists. 

I want you to think. Think of the artists who are inspired by Will Wood. The ones who want to cater out their music to the Will Wood fans. Imagine if you will, those artists seeing that AMA post, seeing the crazed fans, seeing the relentless sexualization, the jokes about serious issues, like Will’s past drug use, seeing all of this and thinking:

“Is it really worth it?

Is it really worth all of this to make music and put myself out there?”

Now, that may make you uncomfortable, but it's the honest truth. And it's happened to so many people, and so many artists. 

---

And now a message to the disgraced kids who managed to latch on to Will Wood’s music.

Treating a musical artist like a god is not gonna help anyone. I’d know. I’ve seen it happen multiple times, to multiple artists. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is think before posting on the internet. Think to yourself; would I say this to the artist's face? Could someone see this and think differently of me? Is this just weird to say in general?

Remember that these people are real people. Will Wood is a real person. With real thoughts. real feelings. a life to live. He's not just some music making machine. He’s not just some silly character. He’s not just some whimsical guy who we can all project onto.

Will Wood is a real person, and everyone should treat him that way. 

Thank you for reading.

(I will edit this essay if I think of anything else to add. That or I'll just reblog it.)

[hippolotamus]

Hi! Not a day goes by I don't think about Mirrorball. Tell me everything!!! 🥰😁

Hiiiii!!!! This is incredibly humbling and motivating. I’m so delighted you’re enjoying it. @hoodie-buck also asked for ‘everything’. Here’s the tea and lore 🪩

There’s a Spotify playlist. It’s currently incomplete, but has The Vibes of the story so far. Including the T Swift song it was inspired by. It’s lovingly curated with my own picks as well as suggestions from friends.

This whole fic started by me listening to Mirrorball and messaging @jesuisici33 about how it just gave me the biggest pole dancer!Buck vibes. The lyrics ‘and when I break it’s in a million pieces’ are so very him. Putting on this performance constantly and hiding his insecurities. Believing he’s got this one thing going for him.

The line ‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight’ gave me baby queer Eddie vibes. Like he has this sort of epiphany as he encounters more and more of Buck, and is shown different facets of himself.

Finally the lines hush, when no one is around my dear / you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes / spinning in my highest heels love / shining just for you. I see this as Buck with Eddie. Buck is still unapologetically himself but when he’s with Eddie he’s more. Because Eddie doesn’t see him as a body or someone who’s only good for physical pleasure. Eddie sees him as a person and potential partner.

The goal is it will be lovey, flirty, lusty, sexy, angsty… all the things 😉

Who’s who:

Buck: 23 years old, exotic dancer (stage name Arsen) at Liquid Alchemy. Attended ballet classes with Maddie as a kid. He wasn’t officially a student but would watch her all the time and imitate the moves.

Eddie: 25 years old, Baby Queer, single father and mechanic. Works at a family owned garage with a group of [pick your poison] phobic jerks. Frequently harassed by his younger sisters to “live a little”. Stress eats peach cobbler [this started as a throwaway line that’s now become a running Thing for Eddie].

Chim: emcee and music maestro at Liquid Alchemy

Hen: works as a mechanic at the same garage with Eddie. Doesn’t take shit from anybody. Has definitely accompanied Eddie to Buck’s club at least once.

Bobby & Athena: co-own Athena’s together. Athena’s is a local diner Eddie frequents with Chris as well as for his panic peach cobbler.

Maddie: I haven’t determined exactly how she fits in this story yet. But she definitely will.

npt some beloveds @stereopticons @daffi-990 @tizniz @loveyouanyway @diazsdimples @bucksbiawakening @bi-buckrights @giddyupbuck @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @steadfastsaturnsrings @wildlife4life @elvensorceress @monsterrae1 @saybiwithme

[cozzzynook]

The Lost Light is over Ratchet never died. Ratchet and Drift decide to go on vacation and visit some nearby planets. Rodimus at first is having a hard time he's struggling with depression. Living in Drift and Ratchet's apartment while they're gone. He's unmotivated to do anything. Self-harming and contemplating suicide.

He spends all day on social media watching videos about different things. Which inspire him to take charge of his life. He starts by trying things he sees online. He tries cooking and finds out he's really good at it and enjoys it.

He starts painting and learns about makeup and finds that he really enjoys that. He also finds a therapy group where he sees some familiar faces and some unknown. He's surprised to see Soundwave there and the two of them start talking and hit it off. Soundwave talks about some of the things he's been doing. He knows Rodimus is from Nyon and mentions this music he found from Nyon. Excited he has Soundwave show him and when the music played he started singing along. Soundwave was impressed and talked about the club he was working at and how they needed a singer.

At first, he was nervous and unsure but after talking with a therapist he decided to do it. After all, he wanted to make his own money instead of relying on Drift. The first night he sang the crowd loved him and it was a big hit. He would sing songs from Nyon and songs from other artists who'd died during the war. Then with the help of Soundwave the two of them would start writing their own songs.

It also inspired him to make his own channel where he could teach people Nyon recipes or music. Which got really popular.

He moved out of Ratchet and Drift's apartment. Finding his own little studio which he made into a very safe place for him. Where it was very fun and brightly decorated which he loved.

Slowly over time, he started falling for Soundwave although he was scared about taking that leap and going out with Soundwave, Who was letting him take his time and was always there for him.

Then Drift and Ratchet come back from their long vacation. During that time they'd talked a lot of things over and realized they both liked Rodimus and wanted to be with him.

When they finally come back Rodimus is there to greet them and he looks different. He's happier and just seems brighter in a way. They are surprised to learn he no longer lives in their apartment.

Over the next few days, they visit Rodimus' apartment and are shocked when he cooks for them. Drift notices some crystal flowers and is shocked especially when he reads the message. Rodimus tells them there from Soundwave after they released a new song.

Drift and Ratchet then learn he has begun singing at clubs and small consorts as his music takes off. Drift watching the way Rodmius talks about Soundwave realizes he's in love and that they are too late.

My brain is going so many directions with this idea & i really like it. Thank you so much for sharing.

My heart is always conflicted when it comes to picking soundrod or dratchrod because i like both.

I love when Rodimus has a hard time and contemplates suicide or self harm. To me its in his character to suffer behind closed doors and put on a front for others and believe it until he’s alone and then spirals all over again.

He would have a hard time after things end and nothing can distract him from the horrors of war. The things he’s done and the lives he’s lost and killed.

His home is gone and it can never be returned.

He’s the last of his people and he never thought of having sparklings because he feared messing them up and most bots don’t want to have multiple sparklings to the degree he would have to have to rebuild his people. So he accepts being the last of his people and the reason they die out completely.

He doesn’t talk about it and he keeps the scares he makes on himself hidden.

There’s plenty of times he’s opened his chassis late at night when alone in Drift and Ratchets apartment and opened his spark chamber to grip his spark and end it. His frame and processor always knock him out before he can do it fully and he feels this is a punishment for ruining the life of Nyon and all the mechs he’s killed under his terrible leadership.

So he coasts along not really accepting his fate but too weak to try again since the last one really hurt him. Left him knocked out for days on end and starving.

His colors faded deep reds that look black without light. His optics are dim and his frame is a lot thinner than it used to be.

He lets his datapad run to fill the silence in the early morning and thats how he finds a show that makes his spoiler lift a tad bit.

Its a cooking channel that makes his spark buzz a tad brighter and soon he’s binge watching it. Its what helps him get out of bed and now he’s moving around cleaning their apartment.

His frame is still weak, he’s still not back to his old color and his spark hasn’t felt the same since.

He flashes to memory files of holding his spark out of its core and how he really almost succeeded.

He feels something churn in the pit of his tanks and he hates the way his gestation pouch can be felt and seen now without the extra layers hiding it.

To escape the pain he turns on his datapad and sees an art channel.

He’s remembering how much he once loved art and how good he used to be at carving on his desk and the art pieces he used to make when Nyon still lived.

He’s finding himself leaving the apartment for the first time in three months to get food and art supplies.

The guilt eats at him when he uses Drifts money and he thinks of selling his art so he can pay him back. He knows he can never pay him back in full but he can stop living on his shanix.

For the first time in a long time, Rodimus feels happy as he listens to music and cooks a traditional Nyonian dish that he accidentally uploads to ether space. Before he can take it off bots are watching and asking for more.

None know its him since his frame and paint are drastically different and his face isn’t in it. That actually encourages him to make more since no one knows its him and so he makes another video and another until he has at least ten uploaded and viewers are asking him to show the painting he planned on selling that he created when it was too hard to recharge.

He did so, not showing his face plates of course, only to get a very large sum of money donated to his channel from multiple viewers. He’s so happy he cries, its the first time in over a million years that he’s actually cried happy tears but he did it. He finally did it.

He doesn’t exactly know what to do after that.

He has a processor breakdown that leaves him sitting in the middle of the floor with his food burning to char and that sets him off all over again.

Its two days later that he picks himself up from unbearable low fuel and the putrid smell of burning metal does he clean the kitchen and find a group that specializes in private therapy.

He can’t bring himself to paint or cook, let alone eat even if his frame is begging him to.

He enters the private group and sees faces he knows and just..leaves.

He doesn’t make it far because he drops from starvation.

He wakes up on a fuel drip and a mech sitting besides him he recognizes as Soundwave who puts a servo on his chassis to keep him still.

Turns out he damaged himself more than he knew when he almost succeeded in taking himself out. His spark was permanently damaged as a result and would never be as strong as it used to be. He would be fine but he could never enter battle again or do strenuous activities without multiple breaks. He could say goodbye to long drives where he pushed himself past his limit like every speedster loved doing.

He almost forgot Soundwave was there with him until he felt a digit brush a tear.

“Rodimus: will join Soundwave in a new group. Objections: not an option.”

He should’ve found that pushy and an invasion of his space along with an over step but he..went with it.

Letting Soundwave take him to a fuel cafe where he got the most delicious strawberry energon he later made into a parfait as a gift for Soundwave treating him.

The mech left him blushing at his compliment towards his baking and Rodimus was asking if Soundwave would like to try some of the fuel he makes for the cooking channel he sometimes does.

He didn’t expect the question to come from his dermas or for Soundwave to agree but he does and he finds he enjoys bringing a personal bowl to Soundwave and one for the new group he attends.

He sends an apologetic bowl of fuel to his first group that he ruined and they sent letters hoping for his recovery and a chance to meet if he wanted.

He..found himself shying away from meeting face to face with others but he enjoyed messaging and short calls.

He spent most of his time cooking and making art for his channel while Soundwave sat in the background playing music he liked to create and music he found from Nyon.

His viewers got a glimpse of Soundwave’s lower frame getting close to his one video when he hummed and danced along to an old Nyonian song meant for two. He didn’t mind Soundwave being close since the song encouraged it and he found he didn’t mind resting his helm on Soundwave’s shoulder as he hummed along to it.

His viewers lost their minds thinking the two were married with the natural chemistry between the two but he cleared it up quickly saying they were just acquaintances.

“Rodimus: a friend of Soundwave, not acquaintance,” the musically inclined mech corrected making Rodimus roll his optics and laugh.

He didn’t realize how long he went without laughing until that moment and he later learned how much the sound meant to Soundwave when he heard it added to a new song Soundwave was working on.

The former spymaster gathered multiple songs from Nyon and gifted them to Rodimus. He also made songs with clips of Rodimus humming and used Rodimus’s laugh as his identification for when he would call or message Soundwave.

In return Rodimus offered to teach create a painting for a Soundwave who accepted but asked Rodimus to make it at his home while singing for him.

“Rodimus vocals: a gift Soundwave wishes to relax in.”

The mech had a way of making Rodimus smile and feel warm inside in a way his flames could not.

He agreed, singing old Nyonian lullabies he once sang to sparklings while painting the constellations that once shined above his home past the infectious smog once atop high buildings or on the outskirts of the city.

Soundwave never hid that he recorded Rodimus singing to enjoy for himself and one day he asked Rodimus to sing with his group at a night club he enjoyed playing at.

Rodimus was visibly about to spiral in his nerves so Soundwave proposed Rodimus wear a mask to hide his face plates and sing in the back of the group instead of the front. He was still nervous but agreed liking that much more.

He’d heard about the nightclub being fancy and so he decided since no one would see his face plates it was fine for him to look at the channels he kept to himself.

He started off light since he wasn’t familiar with doing his own makeup yet, only watching on the screen, but he felt it looked nice. He slipped on the simple black sheer dress and met Soundwave at the club.

He wondered if he did something wrong when Soundwave just stared at him for a long time but eventually the mech reached out and handed him a bouquet of flower crystals that he liked from Soundwave’s yard. The mech had a very abundant garden filled with flowers Rodimus loved to smell and touch. He wasn’t a gardening mech but he did enjoy drawing and smelling them. Rodimus mentioned as a passing comment if he should grow his own cyber fruits and vegetables so his food would taste even better.

The night goes fantastic. The crowd loves them and he gets to hold the flowers as a grounding tool as he sings. He brings them back to Drift and Ratchets apartment where he takes off the face mask and smiles, placing the flowers in a vase. He contemplates making Soundwave a treat but decides against it. He sends him a message saying he had fun and a few days later he agrees to come see Soundwave at his home. Wearing a gold waist chain that showed off his gestation tank pouch and curvy waist that melded perfectly into his hips.

He hoped Soundwave didn’t mind his choice to wear derma gloss and some optic shadow. It fit the deep red and almost black tones of his paint job that became his permanent colors after hurting his spark. He found he liked the colors on himself though he does miss his vibrant colors he felt these were more true to who he was now.

He rang the doorbell holding the face mask in his servo and was greeted to Soundwave standing in the doorway with his optic mask on and lower guard off revealing a scarred face plate with his dermas pulled back on one side as a series of scars go from his revealed denta to his audial receptor.

Rodimus had never seen a mech so beautiful.

His spark stuttered a bit making him struggle to vent. The guard Soundwave was holding fell forgotten as he rushed to help Rodimus vent and calm his spark. Rodimus didn’t make the situation worse but he didn’t make it better with how he just stared at Soundwaves face.

He felt the flicker of hesitation in Soundwaves em field before humiliation took hold.

Rodimus didn’t think Soundwave should ever feel ashamed of his face. He made sure to tell him as such.

Touching the unscarred half of soft dermas with gentle digits that shook as he focused his hazy optics on the mech before him.

“You..you look..,” his spark felt heavy as it did light sharing the emotions for Soundwave to see through the wisps of his flames and whispers of his emotive curling beneath Soundwaves plating until it reached his spark.

He always felt too much and too deeply..but to Soundwave he felt..normal.

“Correction: Rodimus, is beauty incarnate.”

“Two things can be true Wavey.”

He doesn’t notice when they slip inside Soundwaves home, all he knows is that he finds comfort laying in the field of flowers with Soundwave beneath the sun. He’d tried returning the mask only for Soundwave to ask him for another night at the club and he can’t find it in himself to say no. He felt the mask resting besides him and the digits of a mech tracing the pattern along his hip plating. So close to his tank yet it didn’t even bother him.

It was the morning after their latest gig at the club while Rodimus was getting ready to record a new dish on his channel when he noticed the large empty dug up space beside Soundwaves garden. He asked the mech what he planned to do with it, when Soundwave stood behind him. Chassis to his back strut, servo resting on either side of him on the table as Rodimus stood comfortably waiting for his answer. Feeling his processor turn to bubbles as he enjoyed Soundwaves touch and presence.

“Purpose: cyber fruit and vegetable garden. Intended for: the spark that I wish to see beating beside me.”

Soundwaves words didn’t fully register to him for a few clicks but when they did he tried to tell Soundwave he deserved better. Someone who wanted to live and didn’t have to find reasons in the form of blogging channels and art. Someone who could give him everything he needed and wanted that didn’t have a spark condition caused by their own servo because they couldn’t handle living anymore.

To his patience Soundwave waited until Rodimus was finished before proving him wrong.

“Rodimus: normal like every mech. Suffered war. Consequence of survival follows all survivors. Soundwave: did not always want to wake either but group and hobbies makes things easier. Makes living better. Rodimus: makes Soundwave living better. Soundwave: wishes Rodimus saw himself as Soundwave sees him. Query: let Soundwave show Rodimus?”

Its hard to think past venting and leaning against the counter when Soundwave basically told him he wanted to spend his life besides him.

Its oddly grounding to let Soundwave rest his helm against his chassis. Feeling the beat of a strong spark so unlike his own against his audial that he finds himself wrapping his arms around him yearning for more. He closes his optics, feeling the ridges of Soundwaves frame against his own and the tentacles that release and wrap loosely around his waist. Those black and purple feelers tickle him lightly to ease his tension and Rodimus finds himself slipping from reality. Lost in the smell of Soundwaves scent of crystal flowers, heavy solvent cleaner and the natural musk that only Soundwave seemed to carry.

He’s whispering yes as he fades and feels his mind slip into a comfortable lull and he allows the former spy master and gladiator to lift him. They settle in Soundwaves berth where he gets lost entirely and welcomes a recharge he didn’t know possible.

At spark he’s awkward and has a hard time bringing up his feelings but the first thing he asks Soundwave when he wakes is if they can stay like this.

“I want to stay like this with you…I’ll give you anything I can to keep you. Whatever food you want, whatever dessert or song I can offer to ease your day. I’ll do it. I don’t really have much to offer but I can try.”

And really he’s never spoken so honestly from the spark that didn’t require him to without the presence of a battlefield.

His answer comes in the form of Soundwave resting his slim digits above Rodimus’ spark and speaking in the deep voice that Rodimus associated safety and happiness with.

“Rodimus: is the offer. An offer: Soundwave wishes to keep for himself forever.”

“Then you have me,” he gazes up, shifting closer, feeling their different sparks harmonize in a way neither have felt before.

They don’t merge sparks or conjunx in this moment. They decide to wait. Properly court the other with the intent to take their time while leaving a scent on the other so none will try intervening. Rodimus doesn’t think anybot will be interested in him til Soundwave points behind them while in the market to the multiple mechs and femmes staring at his aft and hips.

“Shut up,” his embarrassment is met with a smiley face on the purple mechs face plate. He can’t find it in himself to be upset especially when he receives Soundwaves tentacle wrapped around his waist while they continue on.

Not long after Rodimus meets his old friends Arcee and Springer who are extremely shocked by his paint job and new frame. He doesn’t tell them what happened or what he’s been through physically and mentally. Instead he tells them about his channel and they don’t pry. They see how happy he looks, how comfortable he is in silence now and see the bag of paint tubs on his arm.

“I started painting again,” he tells them and they get so excited for him. Asking if he’d like to come back to their apartment and catch up. They admit how much they miss him and don’t want to let time slip by again or go without talking to him in person for so long again.

He agrees because he truly did miss them too and no matter how much they differed in the past they always stuck by each other even when they didn’t understand the others reasoning. So nods a little misty in the optics and sets up a time. He’s about to leave when a feeler lightly tickles him before a tentacle rests below his spoiler.

He can’t help lighting up and feeling his processor become bubbly as he introduces Soundwave to Springer and Arcee. The two are in shock by how the two act towards each other but they roll with the flow. Soundwave is polite in greeting them with a nod and doesn’t do more than listen while Rodimus chats with them a bit more.

Soundwave is carrying the heavier bags and they notice Rodimus is wearing derma gloss and optic shadow. He once wore it during an undercover mission and they remember him saying he liked it but nothing ever cane about it. They were glad to see him doing things he liked and if Soundwave helped him to do them and made him happy, they wouldn’t object.

Especially when they saw how caring Soundwave was with Rodimus when they came to get him. Last they heard he was at Drift and Ratchets apartment but apparently he hadn’t been there for almost a month. They were surprised yet again by how happy they were to know he was at home with Soundwave in a lovely place instead of the cold and lonely apartment that would make Rodimus feel lonely.

“We’ll have him back before ya know gladiator mecha,” Arcee parted as she slung an arm around Rodimus neck with a wink at Soundwave to lightly tease him. The mech was surprised but didn’t reject it and Springer was thinking this could be good after all. Rodimus hadn’t really paid much mind since he didn’t feel any animosity in the air.

He ended up showing his friends the cooking channel he started and made them a traditional Nyonian meal that they devoured in one sitting making him laugh. He showed the art pieces he’d made and they recognized his humming to be the mech who sung at the night club. He admitted that was him but refused to sing. He enjoyed blushing and being nervous in a way that didn’t put him on edge. He felt at home with the two and congratulated them on becoming conjunx.

“Can’t wait to congratulate you and Mr.Cryptic at your conjunx ceremony,” Springer suggested wiggling an optic ridge as he elbowed Rodimus lightly.

“How many sparkling nieces and nephews are we gettin,” Arcee gushed, before going on about how she’s always wanted to be an aunty to Rodimus’s sparklings and how she couldn’t wait to buy all the cute outfits and teach her nieces and nephews a real fight since the boys could never keep up with her.

Rodimus felt his spoiler lower a bit but he brushed it off and asked the two what their plans were and what they’ve been up to. Arcee immediately dove into talking about her fighting studio and Springer actually decided to take up teaching self dense classes. They both traveled for their jobs together but spent most of the time apart so they could have venting room.

He was happy to hear about their travels and it reminded him how much he missed being in the stars and visiting other cultures.

He smiled listening to their stories when he felt himself growing tired. He was about to excuse himself when Arcee wrapped an around him and said she’d walk him back to their little brothers future Conjunx. Arcee was always so ready to make him feel humiliated in a way only a big sister could.

He didn’t realize how late it’d become until he was walking in the dark with Arcee who kept an arm around his neck. He appreciated the comfort but he also knew she was about to ask him something personal.

“Go ahead and ask already. I still don’t like emotional suspense.”

She laughed at that but began speaking anyway.

“Soundwave is really nice to you huh?”

He nodded, he knew thats not where she was going but he waited.

“I can’t see his optics but I can feel him,” he looked towards her waiting, “the way he feels around you is..the way bots in holo stories used to feel. Its like watching two characters get the best ending one can never picture happening in real life. Only, it is…”

He smiled at her before looking ahead seeing the area change to slowly become the large property Soundwave owned.

“What I’m saying is..I want you to enjoy all of it. I have everything I could ever want with Springer..Percy is coming by too with Brainstorm. I know Percy misses you a lot. I’ll make sure to tell him not to be overbearing though. You know how he is with you. Such a carrier,” she snorted making him laugh nodding.

“I..I know how you feel..how you used to feel about sparklings..I mean..and I know by how Soundwave feels around you that he’d give you whatever it is you desire and if you still crave having sparklings like you once did..you should have them..be it adoption or with you tanks..you should allow yourself that happiness. You deserve it. Me, Springer, Percy, even Blurr and Kup when they get back..we won’t let anyone do anything to you just because you’re a tank carrier. Alright, little sweet spark?”

He felt his shoulders shaking and optics fuzzing at Arcee’s words and he hated how small he felt in her arms. He felt like a sparkling needing their older sister all over again and he hated it. But he would never refuse the warm hug she gave him nor how he melted into her arms and cried his fears in the forms of sobs. Too scared to tell her what he’d done and how he might not even be able to have them anymore. How unworthy he felt to have them when he was littered in scars not received from a battlefield with a frame that bore the proof of his failed attempts.

“I don’t care what you’re telling yourself in that processor of yours Roddy. You always have and always will be a good mech, multiple mistakes and all. We all have them. Some just more than others while some can hide them. Point is, don’t hold yourself back. When you’re ready, do whats best, okay?”

He nodded his helmet, unable to form words and eventually, he wiped his face plate and smiled up at her a little.

“You’re so mean ta me,” he slipped, using his accent as she used her own. It made them both laugh and their departure easier with the promise of seeing each other very soon and him telling her to message him when she got home.

“Rodimus: okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, preparing a solvent bath, “I’m okay. Did you have fun?”

A nod and Soundwave joined Rodimus in the solvent bath where the smaller mech massaged the old wounds and kinks from the ex-gladiators frame. Soundwave reheated the bath after, gently removing the armor from Rodimus’ protoform. He took off the lower guard for his face plate and raised Rodimus wrists to his dermas where he placed wisp touches along the scars Rodimus bore after war.

This wasn’t the first time Soundwave had done so but every time he did Rodimus felt a part of himself break and reconnect inside.

He both feared and loved how intimate he could be with Soundwave. He’s never been open to such affections beyond quick fragging but he’s happy to say he’s fine with anything as long as its with Soundwave.

A few months past and Rodimus finds himself going back to Drift and Ratchets apartment to clean and welcome them home with Perceptor on his heels and Soundwave out with his friends enjoying a music festival.

After reuniting with Blurr, Kup, Brainstorm and Perceptor, Rodimus found his circle of friends growing again and he was happy with it. Of course, Perceptor was the one to pull him aside and carrier him asking about his loss of weight and paint change. Rodimus was never good at lying to Perceptor or any of the wreckers really, but especially Kup and Perceptor. Kup knew he’d hear everything from Percy and Percy wasn’t leaving until he got answers.

It was…painful, sharing what he’d done to himself to another beside Soundwave. He expected scolding, frustration, even anger or told he was illogical. He wasn’t expecting a frame hug that popped his plating out of place and tears.

Perceptor understood the best he could and wouldn’t let Rodimus out of his sight or arms after. It wasn’t too questionable when they came back to the group hours later but it was a noticeable question in the air that the others didn’t bring up thankfully.

Later that day Kup came by with Percy to bear hug his popped plating back into place and he felt guilt for making the old mech shed a tear but Kup told him not to.

“Bots have fights all time..sometimes…its with themselves. When you have a fight with yourself next time lil one, we’ll be there to have your back. Okay?”

It meant more than he thought possible and he finally felt his world fully shifting into place. And with the arrival of Drift and Ratchet finally returning he was happy to have it come full circle as he greeted the two along with Percy who stayed further back so the three could greet each other.

Rodimus wasn’t surprised when Drift hugged him since the mech was a real hug creature at spark, he was startled when Ratchet hugged him but he did hug the mech back.

“Welcome back guys. I hope you enjoyed your vacation,” he smiled leading them to the kitchen that smelled like utopia. The two were practically drooling at the mouth smelling Rodimus’ food and Perceptor was already eating his own plate at a distance after waving at the two.

“Roddy? Where did you learn to cook like this?”

“I got into a cooking channel that turned into me starting my own,” he smiled. He nodded to Percy who stood there for a while before hugging him and telling him to message him when he was heading home.

“I’m fine Percy, I can walk back home. Its not that far,” he laughed.

Perceptor just looked at him with a smile and nuzzled his helmet repeating himself. “If you need me I’ll be with Brainstorm at the collectors show. Mech needs to be taught how to appreciate good quality instead the things he brings home.”

“You guys foreplay is still so weird to me,” Rodimus laughed being a little slag before giving Percy a kiss to the side of his face plate and pushing him out the door.

When he came back Ratchet and Drift were looking so confused and mildly hurt?, so Rodimus quickly cleared the air.

“Percy has always been such a carrier ever since he met me. You probably didn’t see it on the ship but he’s basically my carrier. He even got it documented legally,” Rodimus laughed.

“Him and Brainstorm are conjunx. Oh he say’s hi and welcome back and so Arcee, Kup, Springer and Blurr. They’ll come see you guys later when they have time,” Rodimus smiled cleaning up the last of the dishes.

The two quickly understood about Percy because him and Brainstorm did have something going on while on the Lost light and he was a bit of a hover when he was near Rodimus which was actually quite a bit now that they thought about it. It made sense Rodimus was Percy’s bitlet but they were confused about one thing in particular.

“Hey Roddy? What did he mean by message him when you get home?”

“Oh! Sorry about that! I meant to tell you guys but I didn’t wanna disrupt your vacation and I was so busy making sure it was clean for you when got back. I moved out a while ago, it hasn’t been long but long enough to make sure it wasn’t too dusty for when you came back. Oh and it’ll never be close to repaying you but I left a little something for you guys.”

Rodimus went over to the drawer and pulled out an envelope handing it to the shocked couple.

“I wanted to pay you back. I’ll never be able to pay you back in full but..I wanted to try,” Rodimus smiled shrugging his shoulders.

Inside was a nice amount of money one didn’t just come by in a few months of hard work.

“Kid, how did you get all this?”

Ratchet looked like he’d blown a gasket and it made Rodimus laugh.

“I’m really good at drawing and painting and so I started an art channel and people donated money and paid for my paintings.”

Rodimus went back to the counter to fix the crystal flowers he’d left. They still looked as beautiful as ever and it made him feel bubbly in the processor all over until he was pulled from his thoughts.

“Ya take up gardening too kid?”

Ratchet was smirking when he said and Drift was looking shocked still.

“Kid ya didn’t have to move out ya know? We like having ya around.”

His smile was gentle and it made Rodimus spoiler flicker.

“I..really..thank you Ratchet, that means a lot to me.”

“Oh, no I don’t garden plants..I kill them actually,” the pout on his face was beautiful but the next emotion was a jump of his spoiler and he looked excited.

“These came from Soundwave actually! He gifted them to me at our first gig at a nightclub. He says hi too but he’s at a music festival with his friends right now.”

They’d never seen Rodimus’s spoilers express so much feeling and it left them with a growing ache in the chassis.

“But I’m really good at gardening food. For some reason I kill plants but the crystal fruit and veggies I planted at home are thriving,” he shrugged. “I definitely want you guys to come by and taste em when you can. I think you’ll really like my strawberry crystals Ratch, they’re nice and sweet just how ya like. Drift I planted some melon and grapefruit crystals too. I can get em less sweet since you don’t really like that.”

“Woah, slow down Roddy…you said at home..with Soundwave?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Rodimus blushed looking to the side. “We um..we’re..Soundwave is..” his spark left off a little wave of love and the two felt it.

“Sorry! Sorry. I still can’t control that,” he bashfully chuckled, rubbing at his chassis above his spark making Ratchet slip into medic mode.

He was on rodimus before the other could tell him he was fine.

“Wait, Ratch. I’m fine promise. My doc already knows and I take meds for it. It was just from excitement.”

Ratchet wasn’t at all happy with hearing Rodimus developed a spark condition while they were away and Drift was about to worry himself out of his frame plating with how jittery he looked standing behind him about to help Ratchet open his chassis right where they stood.

“Kid,” Ratchet was putting on his medical scanner over his optic and reading Rodimus’s vitals before coming to a stop when he saw the diagnosis.

“Don’t.”

He stepped back from both of them.

“Just..tell him when I leave okay?”

His spoiler fell and he wrapped an arm around his waist. They could see how much weight he lost and they were obvious to his paint change. Its just now Ratchet knew why and soon Drift would too.

“I’m fine now. I promise.”

He turned his helm looking towards the door when Ratchet pulled him into a hug.

“Kid. Please..don’t ever..don’t..don’t do that again. Please?”

“What the frag is going on?”

Drift was panicking and Roddy hated to see his friend panic like that.

“I’m not dying! I just, did something in the past..I’m okay now.”

Roddy left Ratchets hug and hugged Drift who squeezed him tight. When he felt the hug loosen before becoming almost unbearable he knew Ratchet shared his diagnosis.

“I’m fine now. Promise.”

He smiled a little.

“Its you guys welcome home celebration. Probably shouldn’t be worrying about this when we should be celebrating hm?”

They were extremely reluctant but allowed Rodimus to pour them and himself a glass of high grade, though they noticed he didn’t pour much into his own.

“I’m glad you guys made it back safe. I missed you both. So tell me, what all did you do on your vacation? Please don’t tell me the frag stories I’m traumatized enough from Brainstorm telling me his and Percy’s,” he informed breaking the tension making the two laugh.

He smiled listening intently at every story told and before he knew it, it was getting really late and he was yawning into his servo.

“I’m really glad you guys had so much fun. I can’t wait till next month.”

“Next month?”

“Yeah! Me and Soundwave are going off world. I miss going into space so he got us a nice lil ship to travel to a sister planet. It won’t be for long but I’m so excited.”

The two noticed the way his optics glazed and his spoiler lifted to full tilt. The way his spark hummed a little louder and his smile was brighter. The way his servos came to his waist as if expecting another to be waiting right there for him. The gestation pouch on his tanks that they never saw before. How light his laughter grew and how calm his shoulders looked.

It hurt as much as he looked beautiful.

What ifs ran through their processor as the night came to a close and a knock sounded on their door. Rodimus got up to answer with a sway in his step that didn’t feel sexual at all. He was comfortable with a processor that was floating in a way all too familiar to the stories one read in books.

“Hi Soundwave. Back from the festival already?”

“Soundwave: had fun. Purpose: to greet Rodimus friends and ensure safety.”

They saw the way Soundwave handled Rodimus and the way his tentacles looped around his waist resting comfortably around him. The way Rodimus melted into Soundwave and almost forgot his surroundings told them everything they feared.

“I hope to see you guys soon. Message me when you want to meet up after settling back home again? If ya need I’ll be more than happy to come back and cook. I don’t want Drift burning the apartment down,” Rodimus laughed.

He came over to give them one final hug before parting with a wave and Soundwave nodding at them.

“Rodimus: enjoy welcome party?”

“It was fun,” they heard him say as they disappeared behind the complex’s door.

Leaving them to stand in the doorway with sparks aching and optics longing.

“We were too late Ratty…”

“It seems that way kid…”

Ratchets sigh wasn’t enough to hide his disappointment and sadness.

“It seems that way.”

Back in their home Rodimus laid in their nest where he made a little extra space that gave him and Soundwave more room.

The room was dark save for his blue optics and spark that ignited the space and four purple optics that gazed so softly at him accompanied by a purple spark that he thought the world of.

He was so happy he failed all those many months ago.

If he hadn’t, he would be missing out the most beautiful mech with the most beautiful spark in existence.

It’s something he never plans to miss out on.

[lavenderdreams205]

my ideas for a fix it fic and/or season 16

this is going to be long as hell, sorry. Feel free to write this fic / a fic inspired by this! I can't write it bc of my crippling adhd lol

Sam and dean are still living in chucks story. Not necessarily in a chuck won way, but the "afterlife" they're living in isnt the real one that jack created. In order to stop living the story, they have to find the book its writren in and destroy it.

They are able to escape and return to the real world, and find/destroy the book. When they finally stop living the story, dean experiences excruciating pain all the time - not just emotionally but also physically. He was unable to feel it before because the story/plotline was bloking him from feeling it.

Sam and dean visit rowena and she tells them that it's bc a part of dean soul is in the empty with cas and if they don't exist in the same metaphysical "plane" they will both feel like they are dying. why? Because dean and cas unknowingly completed an angelic mating ritual. Angels choose life long "fighting partners", but it's a purely strategic and platonic bond. However, when done with a human partner, it has more romantic and sexual undertones. "Bonding" with a human is forbidden because it gives both the angel and human stronger powers (slightly less than a nephilim, but still a danger to heaven). The first step happens when an angel "claims" a human (the handprint). Cas had to do this to dean on hell to keep him from hells influence/power when he was pulling him out. The human then has to accept the claim, dean only accepts it once he accepts his own feelings for cas, this happens during cas' confession. The human and angel then swap a peice of their soul and grace, which completes the ritual.

Cas having a peice of dean's soul wakes him up in the empty. Dean and claire have a conversation ab being queer, claire tells dean all about queer pop culture moments and convinces dean to start listening to sad lesbian music. TFW (including jack) find a spell to get dean into the empty to get cas, but dean has to perform it at the barn from Lazarus rizing alone. I think an Orpheus/eurydice parallel would go hard as hell here, especially since i see 15x18-20 dean and cas as achilles and patroclus and continuing with the theme of greek tragedies would be cool. They manage to get out of the empty and they have their first kiss in the barn. Where they first met.

TFW is waiting outside and cas and jack have an adorable father/son moment. Jack brings back everyone who died because of chuck and the story, including charlie and jo (amongst others). Bobny, mary and john choose to stay in heaven. Cas and dean have a ceremony and still occasionally go on hunts but are mostly retired (a la bobby). Sam and Eileen also get married (bc i love them) and are much more active hunters than cas and dean are, but still go on less hunts than they did before. Everyone moves out of the bunker and it becomes a safe house / library / motel of sorts for other hunters.

Dean addresses his alcoholism and starts going to a therapist who is in the know about monsters. I also fully beleive the head canons surrounding dean and sex work / sexual trauma, and i think he also begins to work through this before him and cas start having sex.

Cas and dean move to a farm and start something similar to sonny's, miracle is there (obviously) and they have barn cats that dean pretends to hate (he's named all of them and buys them treats).

*Note* - cas is bamf in this fic and has all his angel powers bc ppl like to babygirl-ify him and it annoys me. He is a terrifying eldrich horror and also criminally insane. Also the pimp mobile is in this fic bc it slays and baby needs a friend

[fence-time]

OKAY! EXPLOSION TIME

@wireman-au - you already know this one, but i think they updated since last time

Lifeline AU - by @/slash-magpie (sorry mags, unsure if you're ok with being pinged)! Good fic based off of a video game that i enjoy greatly. Changed my life nodders. llau!imp n skizz are very important to me they're so fucked up,, every mental illness ever about this au. Main characters... well, I don't wanna give too many spoilers, but let's stick with the first three: Impulse, Tango, Pearl! also joehills and zedaphplays are amazing human beings (COUGHS LOUDLY AT JOE IN LB) and i love them

Chasing the Horizon Line - by @nine-of-diamonds and @1watermelontea! Mers :3 they're fun and i also greatly enjoy imp n skizz here though it's less centered around them and more around gem... (first book, at least. also i inspired melon to add a Thing about skizz in this fic so im proud of that fact)

wanna break all the clocks and mirrors - very cute, pretty quick one-shot about imp n skizz and limited life!

The Haunts That Bind Us - *squints* im like. 90% sure rusty courage made this. it's good. phasmo :3 lots of angst and trauma and impulsesv

Birdsongs - OHHHHHHHH MY GOD THIS FIC. THIS. FIC. ranchers slowburn but subtle enough you can ignore it if you're not into shipping, people are correctly written for once, LATE 90'S-EARLY 2000'S MUSIC FESTIVAL AU. it's amazing. scott gets into a bar fight. jimmy steals something. first chapter is tango tek waking up from drunk music playing. skizz is amazing i love him. very very vague spoilers: weed + enjoys movies = pondering arson

i believe that we will see a better day - this fic has a special place in my heart for Reasons that i will not elaborate on as i do not want to have any personal information leaked don't think about it too hard <3 good fic

Natural Satellite - You probably aren't in this fandom but the fic is good i trust you can learn by context clues!! i love gay people!! this fandom is very good at visceral descriptions of love and also just visceral descriptions in general

Traveling Thieves - LOOOOOONG series but soso good! will not elaborate

And finally, if i may suggest some of my own headcanon/rarepair propaganda:

(how does it feel?) to be an expert in a dying field - i wrote this for mcyt aro week! grayro skizz, my beloved rarepair snowangel, title from my favorite band... yea :3 quite proud of it!!

...sorry if you've read any of these already

OH MY GOODNESS I’M SORRY MATE. ITS BEEN TOO LONG AUEEHHH OOPS? tho thank you so so much :O!!!

[babygirlcowboy]

I desperately want to read fanfiction but the fanfiction I specifically want does not exist in the world,,,,so I now have to write fanfiction which is fine but no it's fucking not bc I want to read it

[forestmossling]

just imagine rockstar! eddie releasing a new album, where one of the songs is called “a voice from above”. in it, he sings about a heavenly voice coming to him in the hardest, darkest hour of his life, when he was ready to give up and stopped seeing a future for himself, and calling him towards the light, coaxing the best out of him and pulling him up from the pit of despair eddie was slowly drowning in.

and it’s a rock ballad, so it differs quite a bit from cc’s usual style, is more “palatable” to the general public with it’s slower tempo, gentler melody and hauntingly beautiful vocals, with addition of a choir in the climax. and because of that, christians start claiming it (basically what happened with “take me to church”), newspapers and magazines wonder at eddie munson, the man a large part of whose aesthetic was so often referred to as “satanic” by the general public, with seemingly no denial from cc, who seemingly has finally found his way to religion.

and when cc comes to their next interview, the question of whether the great non-conformist eddie munson, who on multiple occasions dragged the christian church through the mud with accusations of hypocrisy and fostering bigotry in its midst in his songs and public speeches, has finally found god, inevitably comes up. the moment cc hear it they burst out laughing. after a while, eddie finally responds.

“this song is full of religious motifs, but not nearly for the same reasons you guys seem to think it is. it’s just that the experience the song is dedicated to was the closest i think i ever came to understanding what makes people come to real, genuine faith, the one that fills you with clarity, love and acceptance for the world around you, makes you feel like a part of something so much larger and greater than a mortal human being can possibly comprehend or reach on their own. that experience being the voice of the man that i came to love reaching me while i was in coma and reminding me of all the reasons life was worth fighting for, and then keeping inspiring me to be the best version of myself throughout my whole life.

and that, folks, is how being incredibly gay can save your life! i also don’t mind christians blasting “a voice from above” on their little church parties: my husband, after all, is definitely an angel on earth and absolutely deserves to be worshipped. but don’t you worry, i’m handling that pretty well on my own” and he winks at the camera.

and that’s how the world finds out that eddie munson is married.

[maru666x]

i keep my promises

[alymccart]

NO. OF COURSE I'M NOT EXCITED I GOT TICKETS TO THE BEETLEJUICE MUSICAL TOWARD THE END OF SUMMER. WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

[renonv]

Confrontation

Flats :3