#also they just never ate lunch i forgot about that too oops

[aellynera]

The Best Years of Your Life (Reeves x Reader)

THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

(hey hey, this is my other submission for @wasicskosgirl and her 800 follower celebration! and yes, you read that right - it’s REEVES. i had a lot of fun writing it and i hope you enjoy reading it! CONGRATS Amanda!!)

Word Count: um like 6200ish oops it was supposed to be a blurb

Summary: They say the best years of your life happen in high school, but what do they know?

Warnings: Some language. Female reader implied but no pronouns/description. Teenage angst. Adult wistfulness. Mostly fluffy tho. No promises about proofreading. Frog murder. 

with the prompt - “Like what you see?”

It all started back in high school. Sometimes you wonder how often people say that, and if it’s really true or they’re just falsely remembering how things happened because high school is supposed to be the best four years of your life.

But in this case, it’s true. Because high school is when you met Reeves.

Sophomore Year. High School. A Friday. 

It was the third day of sophomore year, fourth period on a Friday morning, your last before the lunch break. Biology class was maybe the one you were least looking forward to, not exclusively because of the required frog dissection, but pretty damn close. Gross. And you never understood why the school year didn’t just start on a Monday, but you were new here in San Diego. Maybe they just did things differently.

It was bad enough being the new kid. It was worse when you walked into class halfway through the lecture, even if it wasn’t your fault. The timing of the move was weird, and you’d spent most of the first two days, and this morning, doing placement tests and talking to your counselor. 

And now you were being called out in front of the entire class.

“Ah, there you are,” your teacher announced as you walked in the door. “Everyone, this is our new student, please make them feel welcome. You can sit over there.”

Your eyes followed as she motioned to the empty seat at the lab table in the back of the room. Suddenly you weren’t sure if your face felt hot because of embarrassment or because of the boy in the other chair.

Dark, curly hair cut close on the sides but longer on the top. Deep brown eyes framed by long, long lashes. Full, plush lips curling up into his cheek on one side. A nose that, okay, maybe might be a bit oversized but for some reason worked on his handsome face and--

Well, shit. Definitely not the embarrassment.

You shuffled your way to your seat and slid into it with your head down. A few students watched you curiously but soon turned their attention back to the lesson. You tried your best to focus on what was going on, to not look to your left at the distraction next to you.

You weren’t very successful.

By now you thought you’d sneaked enough covert glances to know that we was wearing a leather jacket, had a small diamond stud earring in his left ear, a bunch of silver-studded brown suede wrap bracelets around both wrists, a silver ring on his right index finger, and oddly precise handwriting as he took notes. In between relevant facts the teacher was sharing, he was doodling tiny music notes in the margins of his notebook.

And he totally caught you looking.

“Like what you see?” he leaned over and whispered.

Your mouth felt drier than the Sahara but also somehow so moist you were afraid you might have actually drooled on yourself. You should have opened your mouth to respond but your brain refused to make the connection. Probably for the best.

At least, at first. When it finally caught up to you, the only response your brain could provide was, “Maybe?”

Now would be the perfect time for the floor to swallow you whole.

He just winked at you and his attention went back to the doodles around his notes.

You shifted your gaze back to your own notebook, but you don’t know if anything else of importance was said, and don’t remember writing anything down. The bell ringing sharply pulled you back to reality and you hastily shoved your books in your backpack, ready to escape.

Just as you were about to leave, a voice called out. “Hey, sorry about earlier. If I freaked you out or anything.”

You looked up. He was smiling at you, a little shyly. You bit your lip, your brain and mouth still refusing to connect.

He stuck his hand out. “I’m Reeves. You’re new here?”

“Um…” you smacked yourself internally. This was ridiculous, you weren’t really shy, you knew how to have a conversation, he was just introducing himself. You were going to have a serious conversation with your brain later about proper communication techniques.

It felt like hours had passed, but you finally pulled yourself together enough to respond. “Yeah. My- my dad got transferred for work, we moved here like a week ago. He literally dragged the family across the country. I’m originally from New York City.”

His eyes lit up. “Oh, cool! I always wanted to go to New York City!”

You found yourself smiling back.

“Do you...wanna sit with me at lunch?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. “Maybe you could tell me a little about the city? And...about you, since we’re gonna have to commit heinous acts of violence on an amphibian together? I’d like to know who’s wielding a scalpel next to me.”

The giggle that escaped your throat could not be contained. This boy - Reeves - was adorable. “Oh. Okay, yeah. I’d really like that.”

The Present.

Poor Lenny the Frog never stood a chance. Then again, neither did you.

To be fair, Lenny was already dead when you and Reeves got your hands on him. Well, when you got your hands on him, because for the full first half of that specific class period, Reeves refused to touch him and nearly turned as green as Lenny once was. That’s when he insisted on naming your cadaver, because somehow giving it a name made it easier to deal with.

You were pretty sure Reeves was nuts.

By the middle of sophomore year, you were dead too, but not for the same reasons.

By the middle of sophomore year, you weren’t sure how you were still alive, because every time he looked over at you and gave you a sly smile during class, gave you that look, you felt your heart go taut and you forgot how to breathe and certainly, rightfully, should have been dead.

Your friend Alexis stuck her head into your bathroom. “Hey, we’re just waiting on Vanessa, and then we’re good to go. Drinks first? The show doesn’t start until 8 so we have time.”

You glanced up from your makeup and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Alexis grinned. “Aaaaaah I’m so glad you agreed to go out tonight! It’s gonna be so much fun!”

“Oh, it’s gonna be something,” you muttered, going back to your eyeliner.

Alexis had been the first one to see the concert announcement about a week ago. A benefit show at one of the clubs down in Greenwich Village, some punk revival thing (for charity) with a bunch of different singers and musicians. Not normally your scene, but Alexis scanned through the names and suddenly remembered you’d known Reeves in high school. You said yes, he was in your class, and you’d been lab partners once. Vanessa squealed in excitement and Alexis announced you were going to the show. There was never any actual agreement.

Because of course Reeves was going to be there. And of course, you had to be too.

Junior Year. The Parking Lot. A Tuesday.

“I’m just saying, it was a ridiculous foul, and it should never have been called,” Reeves groused as you walked out of the gym.

“We also should have made like twenty more of our own foul shots,” you pointed out.

The Lake Howell Silverhawks had fallen to their arch-rivals in a somewhat glorious fashion. You didn’t even like basketball that much. But that didn’t really matter. The games were just an excuse to go out for burgers before and hang out with your friends during.

It was definitely an excuse to hang out with Reeves.

Junior year, you were both disappointed to find you didn’t have any classes together, but you still almost always ate lunch together. He’d come over to your house to study during the week and sometimes just to chill out on the weekends. Over the past year, he’d shown you all around the city and taken you to his favorite places. You told him all about New York, how you missed it and one day you’d go back, and all the famous sites and which ones were tourist traps that he was only allowed to visit the very first time and then never again.

You spent so much time together, even your mother liked to tease you about why he wasn’t your boyfriend.

It took a while for you to find the words to tell her it was because he was someone else’s.

As much as you liked to pretend she didn’t change anything, Randie Rustenberg changed everything. It was gradual, like a creeping vine of ivy, and she slowly took him over. There was no malice; it was just one of those things that happened. Reeves spent less time with you, his best friend, and more time with Randie, his girlfriend.

The girlfriend you desperately wished was you, because ever since that first biology class you’d had the biggest, stupidest crush on him.

Eventually you had a boyfriend of your own. Theo was a nice guy, he really was. Polite, friendly, had a good sense of humor, liked your family. And your family loved him. Your mother was so happy that you had a boyfriend, she seemed to forget to ask how Reeves was and if you’d seen him lately.

Of course you saw him. You saw him every day, in the cafeteria, at his locker, passing by in the halls. Sometimes you could find him playing the grand piano on the stage in the empty auditorium. Yes, if your mother bothered to ask, you saw Reeves all the time. Now it was just always with her.

Except this week. It was a break of sorts, no classes, just some sports and other school activities. Randie was on some trip with her parents for some kind of church function, and Theo was fishing with his dad on some lake up north. He’d told you where, but you honestly couldn’t be bothered to recall. So when a bunch of your friends and a bunch of his friends all said everyone was going to the basketball game, there was no debate.

As if there was any way you’d say no.

Sometime during the game, your friends wandered off to the snack bar and never ventured back. His friends started a game of hacky-sack under the bleachers. And you found yourself pretending to understand all the finer points about hoops strategy, cheering and yelling along with Reeves and having a great time, just like you used to.

“Where’d you park?” he asked as you left the gym and headed out into the sea of cars. You vaguely pointed in the direction of yours and he grinned. “Oh, good, I’m that way too. Come on, I’ll walk you.”

The faint glow emitted by the lampposts in the parking lot bounced off his curls and his eyes, when you could catch a glimpse, were bright beneath them.

As if there was any way you’d say no.

The walk wasn’t very far, but it felt like it was over in a second. You hadn’t said anything on the way, just soaked in the comfort of walking next to him as he kept commenting on the game.

He was waving his hands everywhere, looking at them as he talked as if his hand motions would make things make any more sense to you, in the middle of saying something about your center and how they needed to get better about blocking out when you finally spoke.

“Oh, shit.”

Reeves looked up at you. “What, you don’t agree?”

You dropped your bag on the ground and rolled your eyes. “No, my car is locked and I left my keys inside.” You pointed to the passenger seat. Your keys stared back at you derisively.

You both stared back at them for a moment, then he grinned. “Hang on, I got you.” He held up one finger and trotted off to his car, coming back a minute later with something in his hand. “This should take care of it.”

You took a step back. “Reeves? Um. Okay, why do you have a coat hanger in your car.”

He rolled his eyes back at you. “For emergencies, duh.” He quickly twisted the hanger into a hook shape and went to your passenger side window.

“And why do you know how to break into a car with said coat hanger?”

“Like I told you,” his tongue poked out between his teeth as he worked, “for emergencies. You think I haven’t locked my own keys in my car once or six times?”

“Did Randie teach you how to do this?” The words were out of your mouth before you could think. She probably had. She might have been churchy when required, but she was also responsible for about half of Reeves’s stints in detention (the other half just being him making the wrong joke at the wrong time and pissing a teacher off.)

Thank god he didn’t seem to hear you as he kept working at the lock. Finally you heard a *click* and he pumped a fist into the air with a little “yessss!”

And then you’re not really sure what happened. You bent down to pick up your bag and then you were standing up and Reeves’s face was literally about three inches away from yours and for the eight thousandth time since you’d know him, you forgot how to breathe.

Neither of you said anything for what felt like days. You just stared at each other under the dim halo of the parking lot lights.

“Here you go.” He took your hand and dropped your keys into it.

“Thanks,” you whispered.

“Like what you see?” the corners of his mouth quirked up, just the slightest little bit.

“...Maybe.”

And the staring recommenced. Were you two getting closer? Physically closer, you meant, of course you were close, you’d always been close. Well, at one time you were really close but then Randie Restenberg happened and it wasn’t fair that she got to know what those lips felt like and did he always smell this good or--

“Yo, Reeves!” A pickup truck full of guys skidded to a stop behind your car and one of his friends - Jake? Jack? you barely remembered your own name right now - stuck his head out the window. “Fight to the death ping pong tourney at Matt’s house! You in?”

Reeves bit his lip and closed his eyes for a second before he pulled back with a soft “I’m sorry” before turning to his friends. “Um, yeah, sure. Sounds brutal. I’ll meet you there.” 

The pickup sped off, tires screeching out of the parking lot. Reeves turned back to you, but you’d already gotten into your now unlocked car and started the engine.

You rolled down the window a fraction and gave him a weak smile. “Hey, um. Thanks for saving my butt. Now go kick theirs at ping pong, yeah?” Your face felt so hot, and for once you were grateful for the dim lights in the lot.

“You could, um, come along if- if you want.”

“Nah, I’m...I’m tired, I’m just gonna...um, head home. But I’ll see you tomorrow maybe?”

Reeves looked like he was about to say something else, but he didn’t. He just stepped onto the curb in front of your car, smiled, and raised his hand in a little wave as he watched you drive off.

The Present.

A series of shrieks and the slamming of the door told you Vanessa had finally arrived. It sounded like they were jumping up and down on the tile just inside your front door, which was ridiculous since you’d all just seen each other the day before. But typical.

You smoothed a pinkie under your eye, checked your makeup one final time, and went into the living room.

“Oh, you look hot,” Vanessa gushed. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and plopped down on your couch. “Who are you trying to impress tonight?”

“Reeves, of course,” Alexis laughed, leaning on the kitchen counter. She sorted anything she might need from her big purse into a little evening bag as she talked. “You know we go to all his shows. And you know they went to high school together.”

You snorted. “That was a long time ago. I’m not even sure he’d remember me.”

Vanessa waggled her eyebrows. “You’re probably right, No offense, honey, but no one was that hot back in high school.”

He was, your brain supplied. Very helpful. You smiled wanly.

Vanessa continued. “But you were friends, right? You’ve never really talked about it. God, it must be so cool now to think that you were friends with Reeves back when he was an awkward high school teenager.”

“Reeves was never awkward,” you laugh. “It was kind of unfair.”

“But you totally had a crush on him,” Alexis offered.

Had? What do you mean, had? Oh my god, shut up, brain.

A pillow flew in your direction and you ducked as Vanessa giggled and Alexis rolled her eyes. “Come on, tell us something about him,” Vanessa goaded. “Wait. Was he, like, your prom date? That’s your secret! You totally went to prom with Reeves and you never told us!”

Senior Year. Prom. A Saturday.

The night was not supposed to go this way.

It was supposed to be limousines and corsages and dinner with dates and friends. It was supposed to be endless pictures while your mother told you how gorgeous you looked and how handsome he was and your father gave a thinly-veiled shovel talk about how he knew what happens on prom night and what would really happen if that actually happened. It was supposed to be punch and cookies and balloons. It was supposed to be dancing closer than the chaperones were comfortable with and kissing with tongue when they weren’t looking.

It was supposed to be the best night of your life. It was supposed to be fun.

Nowhere in your weeks of dreaming of this night did it involve sitting on a bench in the girls’ locker room, knees pulled up to your chest, while the party carried on in the gym just beyond.

It definitely didn’t involve crying.

The bass beats of the deejay and the harmony of laughter temporarily got louder as the locker room door opened, and then faded back into a muted thumping as the door closed again a second later. You could hear footsteps headed in your direction but before you could unfold yourself and wipe your tears away, a familiar voice called out.

“Hey, there you are!”

Being able to find the words to describe how he looked in his tux, his curls slightly tamed by some gel, the blue rose (of course it would be an off color, why would he pick something standard?) pinned to his lapel, his lopsided grin… Finding the words was nearly impossible.

Of course he would show up now. Because your night wasn’t already crappy enough and half the reason you were sitting there weeping instead of out there dancing was standing right in front of you.

You realized that wasn’t fair. It was probably more like, twenty-five percent of the reason, and it wasn’t his fault. But that didn’t make it any better.

“Why are you in the girls’ locker room, Reeves?” you sniffled.

He furrowed his eyebrows and his nose scrunched up in concern as he took in your mascara-streaked cheeks and puffy red eyes. “One of your friends said you came in here like half an hour ago and nobody’s seen you since. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Clearly not.” He sat down next to you. “Wanna talk about it?”

A deep, shaky sign left your chest. You didn’t really want to talk about how, earlier in the evening, you’d excused yourself to use the restroom and come back to the gym to find Theo dancing with...you didn’t remember her name, nor did you care. You didn’t mind that he was dancing with another girl, in theory, but it was another matter entirely when his hands were on her ass and she was sucking a deep purple mark into his neck. And he was laughing. 

A short, vicious argument ensued in the coat room after you’d cut in and dragged him off by the elbow. And it turned out that he’d been seeing whats-her-name for months, somehow, behind your back while pretending that everything was perfect with you. When he was supposedly visiting his grandparents? He was with her. When he had to work an extra shift? He was with her. When he got off the phone with you, saying he needed to get to bed early? He was calling her.

Prom wasn’t supposed to involve a very public break-up.

And things didn’t get any better when, deciding you needed something to drink, you went back into the gym and immediately saw Reeves and Randie, dancing cheek to cheek, arms snugly wrapped around each other as a soft, romantic song wafted through the air. Because of course he was with her. She was his girlfriend and Reeves wasn’t a detestable cheating asshole.

There was always another her.

You couldn’t handle it.

So you took off to somewhere almost guaranteed to be empty. You figured the locker room wasn’t really the kind of place kids would want to make out, and you were right. It was blessedly empty. Until now.

But you couldn’t tell him the second part, so you just went with the first. His eyes got wide as you blubbered through the sordid details of Theo being a complete and utter twat. Another quivery sob half-burst from you and Reeves got up. He grabbed a few paper towels from the dispenser and handed them to you as he sat back down.

“Thanks,” you hiccuped.

“I never liked him,” Reeves announced.

You found yourself choking on a huff of air. “What? Yes you did! Everybody loved him. That’s what makes it extra shitty.”

“Did you?”

“What?”

Reeves cocked his head and looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “Did you love him?”

Your mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. Why did you always seem to forget how to make words when Reeves asked you questions?

“What?”

He shrugged. “Everyone else loved him. Did you?”

You used every last ounce of willpower you had to not jump up on that bench and shout that of course you didn’t love Theo, you idiot, because I love you.

That would not make this night any easier.

The next thing you knew, Reeves put an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest, hugging you soundly. He rested his cheek on the top of your head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re better off without him.”

You dabbed at your eyes. Nope, still couldn’t make words.

Minutes, hours, days. You had no idea how long you stayed like that, pressed to him and feeling him breathe beneath you. You no longer had any idea how long it had even been since everything crashed around you and he’d come to try and help you pick up the pieces. You just listened to his heartbeat, strong and steady, as the muffled music and joyful shouts of classmates went on past the closed door.

Finally he spoke again. “Hey, you wanna get one of those complimentary pictures?”

“What?” Oh, great. You were finally able to answer his question but you could still only come up with that one word? Stupid brain.

“Well, I…” he sat up straight and, after the briefest look into your eyes, he glanced away. Was he blushing? You weren’t sure. “I always kind of...I kind of thought we’d have a prom picture together. I mean, I just figured, y’know, we’d go with a bunch of friends, but I always hoped I’d get a picture with my best friend.”

The sniffles were back in an instant. Damn him. “Reeves, I...you really want to get a picture now? I look horrible, I can’t get a picture taken like this!”

He took the paper towel from your hand and gently dabbed at your cheeks. “You couldn’t look horrible if you tried. Come on, it’ll be fun. And just think how excited your mom will be when she gets a copy of it.”

Despite your best efforts, you had to laugh. “Okay.”

You headed to the photo area after you washed your face, Reeves helped you wipe off the stray streaks of mascara, and you reapplied just a bit of makeup to make yourself feel better. You were never sure what Reeves said to the photographer before the shots, but he seemed quite happy to take multiples. Reeves stayed pressed against your back with his arms down around your waist, hands clasped together in front of you, for each and every one.

At some point between the second and third shot, he leaned just a little closer into you and you suddenly felt his breath against your ear. “Like what you see?”

For maybe the first time that entire night, your face broke into a genuine smile. “Maybe.”

For a few minutes, your night was absolutely perfect.

The Present.

It was the greatest date that never was.

“No, Reeves was not my prom date,” you told your friends with a shake of your head.

You left out most of the other details, partly because you didn’t want to answer eight hundred questions from Vanessa and partly because, well, you just wanted those moments for yourself.

After the pictures, Reeves had asked if you would like to dance. Until then you didn’t realize it was possible for eyebrows to shoot that far up a person’s forehead, but yours were up for the challenge. You’d mumbled something about if Randie would mind, because you were sure she absolutely would, but he brushed it off. Randie had gone off with her friends when he came to find you, and he really wanted to dance with you, just one dance with his frog murder accomplice. And he said that with a straight face and a twinkle in his eye and there was no way you could refuse.

As if there was any way you’d say no.

One dance turned into two, and then several, until the girlfriend in question finally did show back up and Reeves was pulled away, leaving you with a soft smile and a mouthed “sorry”.

Definitely the greatest never-date.

After prom, life returned to what vaguely resembled normal. Your love life sucked and Reeves still had a girlfriend that wasn’t you, and you didn’t see him much. To be fair, the end of senior year and graduation did creep up pretty fast so there wasn’t a lot of time anyway. Graduation was there before you knew it; he cheered for you and you cheered for him as you each walked across the stage. You made brief appearances at each others’ graduation parties and talked a bit and then, once again before you knew what happened next, it was time to leave for college.

You went back to New York. Reeves stayed on the west coast.

And over the years, like so many other people before you and after you, you just fell out of touch.

“And anyway,” you asserted, “we were just kind of friends. Yeah, like I told Alexis before, we were lab partners sophomore year, and we hung out sometimes, but that was it. Really.”

Alexis snorted and Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “Mmmhmm.”

You threw the pillow back at her. “Mmmhmm.”

“All right, you two,” Alexis chided. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Somehow, you managed to get down to Greenwich Village without further interrogation and minimal shenanigans.

The Present. One Hour Later. Another Saturday Night.

The bar inside the club was pretty packed. Granted, it was a Saturday night down in The Village, so it wasn’t too uncommon, but you were honestly surprised that this many people showed up for a punk retrospective.

There were a few other relatively big-name acts you recognized on the bill, and a fair number of people were wearing t-shirts with Reeves’s most recent album cover on the front. There were even a few that had shirts with his face on it, which was frankly kind of weird.

“Looks like you’re not his only number one fan,” Vanessa smirked.

“I just enjoy his music,” you said off-handedly as you tried to flag down a bartender. “But anyway, tonight isn’t even about him. We’re just here to support charity, right?”

Alexis pretended to agree with you. “Right.”

You glared at both of them before turning your attention back to the bar. Yes, you came to every one of his shows in the area. When you had time. When you could take the night off. When you could rearrange your schedule and switch shifts at the last minute and promise favors to be able to attend them. When you maybe once or twice just called out sick because nothing else worked. So what.

They were really starting to get on your nerves. 

The bartender finally noticed you and took your order, and you looked around the club again while you waited.

Lots of people, ranging from just-allowed-to-buy-booze to mid-sixties businessmen. A few folks that looked to currently be in their golden years but were clearly once punks in their prime. Many people in black and chains and mohawks and neon hair and piercings, to the point where you honestly couldn’t tell who was a performer and who was a patron.

The one person you were looking for was the one that you couldn’t pick out of the crowd.

“He’s gotta be here somewhere!” Vanessa’s voice shouted from somewhere behind your shoulder.

“Vanessa, you’re getting a little weird about this,” you called back as you grabbed your drink and turned around.

“Like what you see?”

Eyes wide and mouth slightly hanging open, you almost dropped your full glass.

Vaguely, nearby, you heard the sound of glass shattering and shot a glance to your left. Alexis really had dropped her drink, and Vanessa was clutching onto her arm for dear life. She was holding her glass at a slightly odd angle and the contents were dripping onto one of her shoes.

The crowd silently pulsed backwards as one, clearing out around the four of you for a respectable distance. Several people watched curiously; surprisingly, they just stood back and stared instead of trying to get involved.

Reason Number One why you really couldn’t blame them: Reeves stood there, right in front of you. Literally less than two feet away, looking right at you. His mouth pulled up into his familiar lopsided grin, his hair still dark but shot through with strands of silver, curly on the top and shorter on the sides. His nose with the little dent, perfect on his face under those dark, luminous brown eyes and...holy shit, was he wearing eyeliner? He was wearing eyeliner.

Reason Number Two why you really couldn’t blame them: Leather pants. Under his old, faded t-shirt and black leather jacket (you were used to seeing him in brown, but you had to admit the black looked good) he was wearing leather pants.

Reason Number Three why you really couldn’t blame them: Quite simply, Reeves was standing in the middle of a bar in New York City and he was talking to you.

You blinked once, then twice. You may have blinked more times but all you could think about was the fact that, after all these years, your brain still couldn’t make words when Reeves asked you a question.

That same old question.

Suddenly you were grinning back, completely ignoring your friends and their dumbfounded squawking and sputtering next to you. You were smiling because even though your brain couldn’t make full sentences of words, it could pull one particular word out of the void and let it come out past your lips.

“Maybe.”

Reeves grinned fully now, his eyes lighting up and the crinkles at the corners deepening.

Someone - maybe Vanessa, maybe a total stranger, you couldn’t be sure - might have swooned from the sidelines.

“Always told you I wanted to come to New York,” he said.

“Always told you I’d go back.”

And the next thing you knew, the next thing that made any sense anywhere in your mind, was that Reeves had stepped forward, wrapped his arms around you, and placed the softest, sweetest, most heart-achingly gentle kiss on your lips.

You pulled away in a daze, felt the heat rising in your cheeks, as you heard a muffled choking sound halfway behind you. Definitely Vanessa.

Alexis and Vanessa’s eyes, already bugging out of their faces, nearly fell out of their sockets when Reeves turned to address them.

“Hey, ladies. I’ll come talk to you after the show, but for now, I just need to borrow your friend for a few minutes, okay?”

There were somehow still more bizarre, mostly inhuman noises that came out of your friends and even later, when they’d deny ever acting like that in front of a famous rock star (and rolled their eyes at you when you corrected them that he was a musician, not a rock star), it wouldn’t matter because you weren’t paying a single bit of attention to them them anyway.

You only had eyes for one person.

He took your hand and pulled you past the bar, into a little room in the back; the office, presumably. The second you were both inside, he wrapped his arms around your waist and looked you in the eyes. He just stared for a few minutes, or maybe hours, you weren’t sure.

It really didn’t matter.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?” he whispered.

“Third day of school, fourth period biology class, sophomore year?”

Reeves smiled softly. “The second you walked in that door.”

“Why didn’t you?” you tilted your head to look at him. Okay, to gaze into his eyes. You tilted your head to gaze into his eyes and your subconscious hoped to any gods that would listen that you did not have actual hearts or stars in your pupils.

Not that it really mattered.

His arms never left you but he gave a little shrug. “Never seemed to be the right time. And then I had a girlfriend.”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “And I ended up with that lame excuse for a boyfriend. But do you know how long I’ve wanted you to do that?”

“When you couldn’t stop staring at me when you sat down at the lab table next to me?”

“Hmmm, maybe. But definitely when you told the teacher we had to have a funeral for Lenny.”

“Hey, Lenny was a fuckin’ hero,” Reeves batted his eyes at you innocently. “He performed a brave and great service to his country.”

“I am oddly happy you’re still an idiot,” you giggled.

“I’m ecstatic that you kept coming to all my shows in the city.”

You pulled back slightly and looked at the ceiling. “You noticed?”

Reeves gave you that look. That look he always gave you, when you were teenagers, when you said something either completely ridiculous or completely profound. That look he gave you when he thought you might not be looking, even though you were always looking. That look that said he always had your back and you were his best friend. That look that you thought you’d be lucky to see one more time but probably never would.

That look.

“Of course I noticed. I thought about having security make you stay back, but that’s just...no. You always looked happy, and I don’t know...I just didn’t want to intrude, I guess? Just always wondered why you never stuck around after the shows, never stayed to talk to me, never came knocking on the dressing room door.”

You thought about that for a minute. You really did try, but you couldn’t come up with a decent answer. You were happy. Just seeing him was enough, you told yourself. Just hearing him sing was enough, just being in the same room with him, just being near. Just like it was back in high school.

Only it wasn’t high school anymore, and now that he’d finally, finally - after years of would’ve and should’ve and maybes - kissed you, you knew enough wasn’t going to be, well, enough.

So that’s what you told him.

And Reeves pulled you close, leaned in closer, and kissed you again.

You pulled apart, breathless again, and rested your foreheads together.

After minutes, or maybe days, or maybe hours, and definitely years - it didn’t really matter - Reeves was there. You were there. And for once, you were really there together.

“Like what you see?”

“...definitely.”

The Future. Any Day. Every Day.

You always thought, and your friends always said, that the best years of your life happened in high school. And to a certain extent, that was true and you believed in that notion for a very long time.

But ever since that night, that one glorious night in a Manhattan bar, you realized you were wrong.

The best years of your life were still happening.

~end~

Taglist:  @anetteaneta @autumnleaves1991-blog @be-the-spark-flyboy @deeandbobbymcgee @huxdameron @itspdameronthings @jitterbugs927 @nathan-bateman @poedjarin @rosemarysbaby13 @sergeantkane @spider-starry @woakiees @writefightandflightclub @veuliee2 @yourbucky084 @waatermelon-sugaar​

>>Join my taglist here<<

[shortprince-cos]

Patton Angst Fic Because I Can't Stop

Summary: Patton decides to run...a little experiment.

Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort.

Ship: Platonic or Romantic LAMP, your choice.

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, exhaustion, crying, not eating, breaking down a door, loneliness. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

~~~~~

Patton was tired.

That was more of an understatement. He woke up at 6:00 every morning to make breakfast for all of the sides. Most of them ate a little differently, so it required a lot of work to get all of the meals perfect.

Everyone took their meals back to their rooms to eat. An occasional thanks was given, but most meals were lonely, with only Patton eating at the dinner table.

Patton didn't mind.

After eating breakfast, Patton would clean the house. He did this every day. He probably didn't need to clean the whole house every day, but he wanted to. He wanted it to be perfect.

He would take a 'break' at noon, just in time for lunch. Making all the sides different lunches every day took a lot of work, but it was worth his family being happy.

...They never thanked him. Or sat with him during lunch.

But they appreciated him! They just didn't show it very often!

Patton didn't mind.

Believe it or not, Patton did take breaks. He went to check on everyone during the day, just wondering if they needed anything. Sometimes they would ask for water, or some kind of help, but more often than not, they dismissed Patton, saying they were 'too busy for distractions'.

Patton didn't mind.

He returned to cleaning after lunch. That usually lasted until 5:00. Patton would spend at least an hour working on the perfect dinner, one that everyone would enjoy! Dinner was usually the time when the whole family could get together and just talk about their day, or whatever they wanted really! It was when everyone was done with their work, and they could just spend time together!

...More recently, no one even came to get food. Patton wasted an hour making perfect meals, only to eat a fraction, and have to throw the rest away when it goes bad.

Patton...did mind. But he always acted like he didn't.

Patton stressed cleaned and cooked every day. No one knew that it was because of stress, but they never talked to him anyway, so it wasn't their fault.

Sometimes things got too overwhelming. The amount of work he had to do for Thomas, even though it was very little, it weighed heavily on him. Trying to fix everyone else's problems, but ignoring his own.

It was better to ignore those problems anyway, it's not like he had anyone to help him with them. Not like he helped the others.

Constantly worrying about the right decisions. Not just his decisions, everyone else's too. All of these things were torture, but they were worth it.

Were they worth it? No one thanked him. They barely even talked to him. It almost seemed like they were ignoring him after the last video. They only talked if they needed something, or they were in a video. Movie nights were long forgotten, the last one probably before the courtroom. After that, everyone was on edge, and started spending more time alone.

Patton lay in his bed, thinking about all of this. He rarely even fell asleep in his bed, most of his sleep was on the couch, when he couldn't keep his eyes open at 3:00 in the morning. He only went to his bed if he needed to think, and boy was he thinking.

'Was any of this worth it? They must acknowledge some of the things I do. Right?'

Patton was finally breaking down from the pressure. Actually realizing what was happening to his family- to him.

'Maybe I should test it. If they notice, I'll come right back, no harm done. If they don't notice...maybe I wouldn't be in the way anymore.'

Patton decided to run an experiment. He would stay in his room until someone noticed he wasn't there. He was sick and tired of being left alone, so he'll finally see if they actually cared or not.

Hopefully they would notice immediately. If they didn't notice in the first week...Patton wasn't sure if he would be around for the second.

---

Logan woke up at 8:00am precisely, as he always does. He quickly got up, showered, got dressed, brushed his teeth and hair, and tied his tie before going downstairs.

Logan didn't see any breakfast today, or any Patton for that matter. It was...odd, but Logan didn't think too much of it.

'He must have taken a day off. Usually he would tell us, but he must have forgotten.' Logan thought. Oh well, that meant Logan wouldn't have many distractions today.

Logan started brewing some coffee. Should he have breakfast? Of course it's 'The most important meal of the day!' as Patton would say. Was Logan going to have it? No. He usually wasn't hungry in the morning anyway, and he only ate it for Patton.

"Coffee instead of Crofter's? Who are you, and what have you done with Logan?" Logan turned to see Virgil coming down the stairs in his pajamas with his hoodie on top. His sarcastic joke making Logan chuckle a bit.

"Well, Patton left me with an option today." Logan explained while pouring his coffee into a mug that said '#1 Teacher!'.

"Patton isn't making us eat breakfast today? We can have whatever?" Virgil's face widened with a bit of surprise, but he looked more excited than anything.

"It seems he has taken a day off. Coffee?" Logan offered Virgil his mug, Virgil quickly accepted and drank it black.

"Patton took a day off? I'm shocked. Like, actually shocked. That never happens."

"I am 'shook' as well."

"Never say that again."

"Did I say it wrong? Is that not the meaning?"

"No, it was right, but it was super embarrassing and cringy. I have no idea why we taught you these things, it was obviously a mistake."

---

Logan's day went by normally- well almost. Patton never knocked on his door, and Logan never heard the vacuum running. He...missed it? He had no idea if that statement was correct, but he knew that working was a little harder without the white noise of the vacuum running from downstairs.

Why Patton vacuumed the entire house every day was a mystery to Logan. He certainly didn't need to. But the noise in the background was always comforting for some reason.

Logan didn't take any breaks today. He forgot to eat lunch, and by the time he was done with his work, it was 9:48pm. Oops. Guess he should probably eat something.

Logan made his way downstairs, surprised when Patton wasn't there. Logan also didn't understand why Patton slept on the couch most of the time, but whatever figuratively floats his boat, Logan supposed. It was odd not seeing him all day though.

Logan only ate Crofter's on some toast for dinner before going back upstairs at 10:13pm to go to bed.

He got to his bedroom door and hesitated. He glanced to Patton's door, debating something in his mind.

'Should I see if he's alright?' Logan thought. 'No, I'm just overreacting. All he did was take a day off, there's no need to worry.'

No need to worry.

---

It was two days later, and Virgil was worrying a bit. He hadn't seen Patton for awhile, and while he was happy he wasn't being helicopter-parented, he couldn't help but wonder where he was.

Despite being upset with him for accepting Jan-Deceit, Virgil wanted to just break into his room and find out what was happening, but as always, his anxiety stopped him.

"Logan?" He decided to ask Logan if he was being irrational or not.

"Yes Virgil?" Logan responded, not looking up from his book or moving from his spot on the couch.

"It may be just me, but, I'm worried about Patton." That got Logan's attention.

"Well, it certainly isn't just you. I have to admit I am a bit troubled for him as well. However, it has only been three days, I don't think we should jump to any conclusions. Besides, if Patton wanted to see us, he would. He might just want some time alone right now, especially after the last video we did." Logan explained. This calmed Virgil down a bit.

"Right." Virgil cringed, remembering the events of the episode he missed. "Ok, thanks Logan."

"No problem, Virgil." Logan smiled at Virgil before returning to his book.

Virgil sighed and plopped down next to Logan on the couch. He didn't really want to go back to his anxiety-inducing room after he just calmed down.

The two sat in silence the rest of the day.

---

Roman had just gotten back from his adventure in the imagination. He had been gone since...the video, but now he was ready to face everyone again! Saving an imaginary town full of imaginary people sure does boost your confidence!

But it was time to actually confront his problems. Like Patton and De-Janus. It still felt weird to say his actual name.

Roman emerged from his room for the first time in at least a week. The halls were empty. That's not normal. But were any of them 'normal' after the newest video? Not really.

Roman cautiously made his way down the steps to find Logan sitting at the table, and Virgil sitting on top of the couch.

They both kind of looked awful. Logan had bags under his unconcentrated eyes, his mind clearly wandering from his book while he fidgeted with his necktie.

Virgil...looked like Virgil, except he looked really tense and his brows were furrowed with worry.

"Well, I'd certainly hoped for a more enthusiastic response to my late arrival." Roman called attention to himself at the bottom of the stairs.

"Roman!" Virgil immediately shot up from the couch and ran over to hug Roman, which was...strange.

"Roman, where have you been?! You've been gone for three weeks!" Logan scolded while walking over to Virgil and Roman.

"Jeez, L. I just got back and I'm already getting yelled at?" Roman complained. "Wait, three weeks? No, that- that can't be right. I've only been gone a couple days."

"Well, clearly your calculations are wrong."

Virgil suddenly pulled away from Roman, choosing to shove him instead.

"Hey- what-?!"

"Do you have any idea how worried I was about you and Patton?! You've been gone for so long, I thought something had happened, but Logan told me not to worry, but then I started worrying more because what if we should have been worried and something did happen to you and we didn't know because we weren't worr-"

"Virgil!" Roman grabbed Virgil's shoulders to get his attention. "Calm down time, I'm fine. But, why are you worried about Patton? Where is he?"

"We assume he's in his room, but we haven't seen him for about seven days, three hours, fifteen minutes, and thirty-three seconds." Logan explained casually.

"And you haven't checked on him, why?"

"Logan says he's probably just taken the week off, or something..." Virgil quietly mumbled.

"Ok...that is very weird though. I mean, has Patton ever taken time off? Like, since we've known him?" Roman questioned Logan.

"Well, no. But I suspect Deceit has told him that he should take some time off, given the point of the last episode." Logan explained while Roman cringed at the thought of the last time he saw Patton.

Virgil groaned as well.

"Something wrong, Roman? Virgil?"

"Nothing..." The two quietly moaned in unison.

"Very well, if you two are so bothered by Patton's absence, I suppose we could go check on him." Logan offered while gesturing upstairs.

"Logan, you've been fidgeting with your tie throughout this entire conversation, and you expect us to believe you aren't worried?" Virgil accused while Logan very clearly stopped toying with his necktie.

Logan cleared his throat, his face turning slightly pinker. "Well- uh- lets just go."

And so the three of them journeyed up to Patton's light blue door, hoping to find their friend perfectly fine.

"Should we knock?" Virgil asked.

"Yes, if he doesn't respond, then we'll go in." Logan said in his 'I don't have feelings, but I'll comfort you anyway' voice.

Roman knocked three times and awaited an answer.

Nothing.

Roman knocked louder this time.

Nothing.

"Patton?" Roman tried opening the door, but alas, it's locked.

"Should we-" Virgil started before Roman kicked the door in surprisingly fast.

"ROMAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME FIRST!" Virgil exclaimed before looking into Patton's room.

"Empty." Logan stated the obvious.

Everyone slowly walked into the lifeless room.

"Wait." Virgil said quietly.

Well, almost lifeless.

Virgil slowly walked over to Patton's bed, which now everyone could see had a small figure hiding under the covers.

"Patton?" Virgil whispers as he kneels down next to the bed.

Suddenly a little Patton face comes out from under the comforter. "Yeah?" He asks in a small, meek voice.

"We were worried about you, are you alright?" Logan questioned as he walked over to where Patton was on the bed.

"Oh, so now you're worried." Patton replied with an attitude that he never had before.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Virgil tried his best to not let anger seep through his voice.

"Nothing, apparently." Patton buried himself in the blanket again, leaving the other sides confused.

"Yikes, he really has been spending too much time with Janus." Roman stated, which made something in Patton snap.

Patton immediately pulled the covers off and sat up angrily. "No! No, I haven't, because he's afraid you guys will hate him even more if he talks to me! And none of you guys ever come out of your rooms anymore because you're all mad at me! No one ever even acknowledges me anymore! I'm just so-so a-alone!" At this point Patton had hot tears rolling down his face while he gasped for more air.

"I-I know you guys need t-time, but...I can't do it anymore, I just c-can't."

"P-Patton-" Virgil started before Patton started laughing- wait, laughing?

"Its funny, right? How-how I can take all the time in the world to work through my issues, but the moment you guys need time..." Patton slumped in exhaustion. "God, I'm so selfish. I can't even last two weeks without you guys."

"Maybe, but we shouldn't have ignored you. We should have talked about it instead of ignoring it." Virgil said. "Instead of ignoring you."

"N-No. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm j-just overreacting, is all." Patton wiped away his tears even though new ones kept forming. "I-I'm fine."

"You're clearly not fine, Patton." Logan put his hands on Patton's. "You've apparently been sulking in your room all week. When did you even intend on coming out?"

"But Logan," Patton's face lit up. Oh no. "We came out years ago!"

Three different groans rang out in the bedroom.

"Patton, you know very well what I meant." Patton's face fell quicker than it rose.

"I-I know...Roman, when did you get back?"

Roman's face got a little happier. "Just today-"

"Patton." Logan interrupted, squeezing Patton's hand a little more. "You didn't answer my question."

Patton looked between the three of them before looking towards the floor and mumbling something indecipherable.

"Uh- what was that, Pat?" Virgil asked cautiously.

Patton quickly looked back up to meet Virgil's eyes. "I wasn't going to!" He exclaimed.

Everyone's faces were quickly filled with shock and disbelief.

Roman moved to sit next to Patton as well. "W-What? You were just going to stay in your room forever?" Patton only shook his head. "Then, what-?"

"No." Virgil suddenly interrupted, the shock never leaving his face. "Patton, tell me you weren't going to-" Virgil raised his hand to cover his mouth.

"Spit it out, Virge!" Roman exclaimed.

"It seems Patton was going to d-" Logan stopped in disbelief. "excuse me- duck out. R-Right?"

Roman gasped. "Patton, that's not true is it? It can't be true."

Patton started sobbing. Well, there was his answer.

Virgil shot up from where he was kneeling and quickly pounced on Patton, giving him a giant hug that was probably long overdue.

Logan and Roman looked at each other before joining the hug pile too.

Eventually they had to stop, considering Patton had to breathe sometime, so they all climbed off of each other.

Patton still had a few tears streaming down his face. "I'm-I'm sor-"

"Don't you dare apologize for feeling like that. Just don't." Virgil scolded quickly.

"Well, then you guys can't apologize either!" Patton claimed.

"Yes we can!" All three said in unison, which made Patton giggle a bit.

"Well, that's not fair." Patton complained with a small smile on his face.

"Alright, alright." Logan attracted everyone's attention. "Now that we have that sorted, maybe we should relax and try to de-stress for awhile, hm?"

"Sounds super!" Roman exclaimed before picking up a giggling Patton in a bridal style hold.

As Logan and Virgil exited the room, Roman leaned down and whispered to Patton.

"I'm sorry about the video. I shouldn't have overreacted like that. I know you're trying your best."

"Well, I'm sorry too-"

"Ah bupbupbup!" Roman booped Patton's nose playfully. "I thought we said you couldn't apologize anymore today!"

Patton only giggled more in response.

Soon enough all four of them were on the couch watching an array of Disney movies, the earlier events drifting from their minds.

~~~~~

Y'all wanted a stupid title, so there ya go! This fic was super self indulgent, so that's why it is the way it is.

If you ever feel alone or like life isn't worth it anymore, I highly suggest getting some help from a professional. Please don't shut yourself in away from people who care about you, because that will only make things worse. Remember, if you're gone, there's always someone who will miss you, even if it doesn't feel like there is.

General Taglist: @decadentscissorsapricotdeputy @resident-trash-goblin @thefingergunsgirl @theantisocialghost @foreverfangirlalways @emo--nightmaree @moxy--sanders101 @quinnthequeer @gattonero17 @trashno0dle @tranquil-space-ninja @wellhellothere09 @lugooble @sander-crossing @disney-princess-patton @obsessedalli @hi-its-tutty Ask if you would like to be added or removed!

Reblogs are appreciated! 💖

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Mistake: Rafe Cameron x reader (pt. 5)

Summary:  You, a pogue and Rafe Cameron, a kook are friends of benefits, secretly of course. But what happens when you get pregnant?

Pairings: former rafe cameron x reader // currently John B x reader (wonder how long teehee) 

**MISTAKE MASTERLIST**

A/N: I named this Mistake, so it would be easier to list on my masterlist! Hope you guys are holding on because this is the beginning of a rollercoaster of emotions. 

A/N: I hit 1000 followers last night. It was a happy thing to wake up to this morning. I know I say this all the time but I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH. When I got back into writing months ago, I never thought I would make it this far or that any one would even read my writings, but you guys have proven me wrong. Thank you to everyone who follows, likes, reblogs, comments, or just lurks on my page. lol I love you guys so much. You ALL are beautiful human beings <3 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

OBX Tag list

Criminal Minds Tag list

The Vampire Diaires/The Originals Tag list

Supernatural Tag list

All of my works Tag list

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

Instead of getting ice cream, the two of you agreed to go on the date. So, John B went home to shower and get ready and you did the same. Just as you were about to dry your hair, a knock sounded on your door. John B never knocks and he’s early.

“coming!” You call out, walking toward the door. When you open it, Rafe’s standing there with a small bouquet of flowers.

He scratches the back of his neck and gives you a smile, “Hey.”

“Hey…” You glance over his shoulder and then back at him, “What are you doing here?”

He motions inside and you nod, opening the door wider and stepping out of the way before closing it behind him.

“I wanted to bring you these to apologize for the other night proposing like I did. I also wanted to see if you’d go to the Midsummer’s party with me?” He set the flowers on your counter and faces you.

“Midsummer’s party? I’m a pogue I can’t go to that. That’s for you guys.”

He shakes his head, “I want you to go as my date. You can meet my family properly. It’ll be fun.”

You bite your lip, “I don’t know Rafe.”

“Please? I want you to go with me as my date. I don’t want to take someone else.” He takes your hands in his, “I want you by my side, walking in. It’s kind of a big deal for us. My dad’s the guest of honor.”

“When is it?”

“This weekend.”

You shake your head, “I don’t have anything fancy enough to wear, Rafe.”

“I’ll take you shopping. We can go Friday after your doctor appointment. Spend the afternoon on the mainland like we used too; lunch and shopping, on me?” His eyes are pleading, “Please?”

You finally nod, agreeing, “Okay. Fine.” You’d actually completely forgot about your appointment. Good thing Rafe remembered. 

“I’ll pick you up at 10 Friday morning?” 

“What time is my appointment again?” You pour some water in a vase and set the flowers down in it, setting it on the kitchen table. 

“uh...” He pulls his phone out, checking the calendar, “It’s at 11, but they said they wanted us there at 10:30 for paperwork.” He shows you his phone, pointing to the appointment. 

You look at him, impressed, “You’ve got a calendar?” 

His cheeks flush pink, “I didn’t want to miss anything. I put it in the calendar when they told us at the hospital. It’s obviously a good thing I did because you didn’t remember.” 

You laugh and nod, “I’m pretty sure I was on pain meds when they told me so, I’m off the hook for that one.” 

He chuckles, “you were pretty out of it. Anyways, I’m heading to play golf at the club, so I’ll see you Friday morning?” 

“10 o clock sharp.” 

He smiles, “Bye.” Before stepping out and closing the door behind him. 

~

An hour later there was another knock at the door. You looked in the mirror and fluffed your hair before heading toward the door. There stood John B in one of his nicer shirts and one single flower.

You smiled at the sight, “Hi.”

“Hey.” He hands you the flower, “Saw this on the side on the side of the road and I know how much you love them.”

You put the flower to your nose, “You know me so well.”

“So, I have the whole evening planned.” He holds his arm out to you, “Shall we get going?”

You giggle, grabbing your purse and loop your arm with his, “Yes we shall.”

He leads you to the van, opening the door for you and helping you inside. He closes the door and rounds the van to get in the driver side.

You slip on your seat belt as he starts the van.

~

He pulls into the driveway of the chateau and you look over at him, “John B what do you have planned?”

He gives you a smirk, “You’ll see.” He hops out of the van and leads you out to the dock. Inside his boat is a cooler, blanket and a small basket. “We are going to have dinner on the water tonight. I know how much you love the sunsets on the water.”

You smile and look up at him, “Sounds amazing.”

He steps over into the boat and then holds his hand out for you, which you take, and he helps you step over into the boat. He starts the boat as you slip your shoes off and put them in your bag, tying your hair back. He makes his way down the boat, untying it from the dock and then pushes from the dock. As he takes his seat, you go to your usual spot there in front of him and sit down.

~

He drives around through the marsh a little before picking the perfect spot to watch the sunset over the water.

You stand to go help him with the anchor, but he stops you, “No ma’am. I’ll do it.”

You laugh and sit back down, “Okay, captain.”

He drops the anchor and makes sure it’s secure, “There. Now we can eat.” He jumps down off the front of the boat and lays the blanket out before taking a seat and patting the spot next to him.

You jump up from your seat and sit next to him, “So what’s on the menu?”

He smiles sheepishly, “Nothing fancy but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

“Please tell me it isn’t the same bread JJ ate the other day with the mold on it?” You scrunch up your nose in disgust.

He chuckles, shaking his head, “No. I went out and bought new bread.”

You nod, laughing, “Okay good.”

~

The two of you enjoyed your meal, talking and laughing. The sun began to set over the water and gave off an orange glow. He’d fixed himself against the boat and let you slip next to him, head on his chest.

“Y/n?” He asks.

“Yes?” You tilt your head to look up at him.

His finger traces shapes on your back, “Do I have a chance? I mean with you?”

You look down for a second, gathering your thoughts and then look back up at him, “Yeah. Maybe.”

“So if I wanted to..” His finger goes under your chin, “If I wanted to kiss you, you wouldn’t pull away?”

You glanced at his lips, then back at his eyes, shaking your head, “I won’t pull away.”

Slowly the two of you met and your lips connect. This wasn’t like the first time you two had kissed. He’d caught you off guard in the worst moment but this. This wasn’t unexpected. You were ready for it and to be honest, you didn’t want it to stop.

His hand moves to your cheek and you sit up, hands going into his hair as you swing your legs over his lap, straddling him. His body sits up a little, hands in your hair then hands at your back, pulling you closer to him. Your hands are in his hair and at his neck. You didn’t want him to pull away.

He slowly lays you back down on the blanket and hovers over you. Your hands tug at his shirt and he pulls back a little. Both of your lips are red and swollen and breathing heavily, “Are you sure?”

You nod, “I’m sure.” and pull him back in for another hungry kiss. You two make love right there on the blanket as the sun sets slowly behind you.

~

You don’t remember falling asleep but the sound of a phone ringing and the sun rising above you are what woke you up. You groan and try to move, but something’s holding you there. When you open your eyes, you’re met with John B’s face. His mouth slightly opened. You gently traced marks on his bare chest, “John B…” You whispered and began peppering his chest with kisses.

He slowly stirs, pulling you closer to him, “Well good morning..” He smirks.

“Good morning.” You smile, kissing him, “Your phone is going off.”

He groans, “It’s not important. Lay back down.” He says as you try to get up.

“I have to see who it is.” You laugh, pulling away from his body and slipping on his shirt, grabbing his phone from the small compartment at the wheel, “It’s JJ.” You say walking back over to him and handing it to him. You start picking up the clothes and then take a seat next to him.

“Hello?”

“John B! Where the hell are you man? We had plans to go fishing. We’re all waiting here at the dock for you!”

He groans, running his hand over his face, “Shit, JJ I completely forgot. We’ll be there soon.”

“We? Who’s we? Are you with-”

“Bye JJ!” He quickly hangs up, both of you bursting into laughter.

“Oops.” You laugh, handing him his boxers and shorts. Leaning over you press a kiss to his lips, “We better head back.”

He pulls you onto his chest and kisses you, “They can wait a few more minutes.” Let’s just say it was longer than a few more minutes.

~

The two of you managed to finally pull away from each other and get dressed. You had tried giving John B back his shirt, but he shook his head, “Looks better on you.”  So, he went shirtless.

As he drove the boat, you sat on his leg, fiddling with his hair. You could see the pogues waiting on the dock at the Chateau as you drove up.

“is that y/n?” Kie asked as you guys got closer, pushing her glasses down on her nose.  

“Holy shit! Dude!” JJ laughed when he realized it was you on his lap and in his shirt, “No fucking way.”

“So, this happened?” Pope asks, grabbing the edge of the boat as John B drifts in, holding it while Kie and JJ stepped in, then jumping in his self.

“Nice one dude!” JJ says, holding his hand out for a high five.

You roll your eyes and John B slaps it away.

“Okay we forgive you for being late.” Pope says, taking a seat.

Kie raises an eyebrow at you and you get up from John B’s lap and go to sit next to Kie to give her all the details.

~

“That sounds so romantic!” Kie gushed.

You giggle and nod, “It really was. I mean the night was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better first date with John B.”

“So, I take it you have your answer then? You’re picking John B?” Kie asks, looking at the front of the boat to make sure the boys weren’t listening. They were focused on fishing.

Biting your lip, you look at John B. He laughed at something Pope said and glanced back over his shoulder at you, flashing a smile. You returned the smile and then looked at Kie, nodding, “He’s it for me.”  

~

As you guys made your way through marina, another boat passed by. You were seated on John B’s lap as he drove, his arm wrapped around your hip.

“I think that’s Topper and Sarah.” JJ says, “That boat is like 50 grand. easy.”

“It is a nice boat.” Pope adds. “Guess that���s what you can drop 50 grand on when you’re a kook.”  

You watched as Sarah tilted her sunglasses at you two, shaking her head before turning her attention back to Topper. “What was that about?” You ask, looking at John B.

“Not sure. No telling with the kook princess. Maybe she’s just jealous of us or something.” He gives your hip a squeeze and kisses your shoulder.

You nod but can’t help but look back at the boat as they passed by. Was it because of Rafe or something else?

Obx taglist:  @emmalvei-blog​ , @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​ , @treestarrrrrrrr​​ , @omgwhattheeven​​ , @normatural​​ , @lreincarnationl​​ , @laurenron​ , @junkiemuppettxx​ , @beth-winchester21​ , @divcrdown​ , @timotaychalabae​ , @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ , @tangledinsparkles​ , @prejudic3​ , @lanarichards5  @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ , @fratboystark​ , @nas-marie-loves-u​ , @sunwardsss , @annedub​ , @jellyfishbeansontoast​ , @turtlee-says-rawr​, @fanficscuziranout​ , @wellthathappened2​ , @write-from-the-heart​ , @louisolos , @outrbank​ , @sunset-d-rive , @family-buisnes​

*if your name is crossed out, tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me tag you :(

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​

[nomazee]

scatterbrain

bokuto koutarou x reader

word count: 2200+

content: fluff, friends-to-lovers, pining bokuto, ooc bokuto.

(i’m in such a bokuto mood rn so i wrote this!! i did NOT expect this to get this long but oops!!

bokuto is probably,,,VERY ooc in this but this is really just self-indulgent fluff!! hope you enjoy! <3)

(also!!! quick reminder!! my requests are open!! my request rules can be found linked in my navigation which is my pinned post!! feel free to request <3)

☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽

contrary to popular belief, bokuto thinks. he thinks a lot. granted, a lot of his thoughts are devoid of any deep meaning, like the possibility of taming a wild owl and keeping it as a pet, or the question of whether he should get two or three meat buns after practice. 

bokuto thinks a lot. he knows this. his mind gets very cluttered sometimes with various random topics. that’s why when his mind started becoming a cohesive conversation of one solid topic, something was wrong. very wrong. 

he started thinking about you. a lot. 

when he first realized it, he figured he should look into it--find out what caused him to have his mind flooded with thoughts of you, your smile, your eyes, your hair, your hands, your voice and nose and lips--

then he realized that he already knew very well why he thought of you so often. 

almost comically, he smiled to himself and thought, “well, i guess that’s that!” and resolved to never approach the subject again. confident as he could be on the court, bokuto was sure that if he ever tried to take action about his feelings, the result was sure to be disastrous. it was best to stay away from any fantasies of his. 

that was hard to do, though, when you seemed to occupy both his thoughts and his day-to-day life. 

you were in the same class--that was just his luck--and while you weren’t an official manager you had a tendency to stop by practice and watch the boys play while chatting with yukie and kaori until it was time to go home. 

(he also often walked you to the train stop. fate really made the stars align when he didn't want them to align.)

though, he had to owe it to fate for allowing your seats to be on separate sides of class. at the very least, he had that relief from the constant pressure he applied on himself absentmindedly whenever he was in your presence. 

during lunch, bokuto sped out of the classroom door and in a direction away from the cafeteria. you seemed to notice this quite quickly and darted to chase after him. 

bokuto felt a warm, firm hand on his shoulder and the distant scent of peppermint. he cursed himself for not walking fast enough and wondered if he could jump up with enough fervor to break through the ceiling. 

“hey,” you were smiling at him as you sidled up next to him. he was thankful he had your real expression right in front of him--the gentle image in his mind was fading by the minute and he appreciated the refresher. “where’re you going? i thought we were still eating lunch together?” 

right. lunch. eating. food. the empty feeling in bokuto’s stomach reminded him of the fact he’d skipped breakfast after thinking so hard about his feelings and what to do with them that too much time slipped away to let him eat something properly. 

“oh, yeah!” he forced a smile--”forced” wasn’t really the right term though, because with you everything flowed so naturally and so easily that he never had to force himself to do something. 

“i was actually planning on practicing a bit instead of going to the cafeteria.” your expression fell the slightest bit and he scolded himself internally for being the cause of even the mildest discomfort of yours. “i’m really sorry for not telling you! really sorry! i should’ve texted you or something. i’m sorry! but i’ll make it up to you if--” 

“bo!” your lightened expression was back and he, cheesily, melted at the sight. “it’s fine! i’m not angry at you. well, at least not for that. i’m just worried that you’re not eating lunch.” 

uh oh. his stomach didn’t feel that great. it felt like there were a bunch of wild, frantic insects in there that pushed and pulled at the tissue in an attempt to get out. he thought he needed to vomit. 

it was nice that you were worrying about him. you did that a lot. the reminder only made him feel lightheaded and briefly convinced that maybe it wasn’t a crush and actually just a really bad, persistent stomach flu that only flared up in the presence of the girl of his dreams. 

he spoke through a smile that he hadn’t even noticed appeared on his face so brightly. “it’s really sweet that you’re worried.” his words were hazy and lovestruck. midway through the interaction he stopped putting so much effort in hiding his adoration for you. he figured maybe you’d appreciate it one way or another, even if it was just to make fun of him in your head. “but i’m fine! no worries! i’ll make sure to eat when i get home, promise.” 

you gave him a nod, “promise,” and a quick wave and then you were off to the cafeteria. to eat lunch. would you be alone? when you both ate lunch together you didn’t really hang out with anyone else--as much as bokuto’s teammates offered to let you sit at their table, you were both perfectly content with just sitting in the presence of each other, alone. 

dreamily, his grin persisted on his face and his eyes grew glittery and unfocused before his lips dropped at another realization. 

you’d be alone. would you feel lonely? would you be mad at him for making you feel that way? 

he made it to the gym already by the time he realized that. maybe this time alone would let him settle his fluttering heart and compose himself so he could be conditioned to tolerate your presence more often without drifting away into a bunch of domestic daydreams. 

a sick feeling in his stomach persisted all through his spiking practice. it was less pleasant than before. his body temperature grew both from unease and the physical exertion caused by extra practice. 

maybe he really was sick. in one way or another. 

---

you showed up to the gym fifteen minutes into bokuto’s practice. the boys were still slowly getting ready, so you took the time to approach bokuto and hand him a small and weighty paper bag. 

“meat buns,” you told him, extending the package in his directions. “it’s not good to skip meals just to practice. you still have to eat!” despite the scolding tone, your face remained playful and taut in a smile. bokuto wondered if your cheeks every became sore from grinning all the time. as much as he didn’t want you in pain, he was willing to give you all the face massages you wanted as long as it kept you smiling at him so often. did face massages exist? were they a thing? he’d study the art of massage for you and develop a technique, whatever was necessary. 

“y… yeah…!” he responded dumbly. his was certain his face was unhealthily red as his body instinctively moved to wrap you in his arms. 

hugs were typical between you two. it wouldn’t be weird, right? oh well. too late to think about it, since you were already embraced in the warmth of his arms. 

“are you alright?” your voice came out muffled and gentle from the depths of his embrace and his heart fluttered at the way your voice rumbled through his chest. “you feel kinda warm.” 

he was warm? he thought you were way warmer than him. though maybe he meant that in a less physical sense. he couldn’t tell the difference anymore--not with you. 

“yeah, just kind of tired.” before he could ridicule himself at the fact that tired had no correlation to having a full-body flush, he continued to reassure you, “but i’m fine! i’ll make sure to take care of myself.” 

he felt your smile appear against the fabric of his shirt and wondered if it was weird that he was willing to die in that position. 

after a moment of relaxing in each other’s grasps (and ignoring the distant gossip of his teammates), bokuto pulled back with a grin, a nod, and the longing to press a kiss against your forehead. 

practice was good. it felt easier than it had been last week, though he probably owed that to the visit you paid him in the afternoon. he came to the conclusion that running from you just to “figure out his feelings” was stupid. he knew what he felt. he didn’t have a single clue what to do about it specifically, but thought that was fine. it felt good to be around you--he’d be stupid to let opportunities to spend time with you pass him by. 

---

apparently you sat with akaashi the day before, when bokuto was away from the cafeteria during lunch. he figured that out when he went to sit at your usual table only to find you accompanied by his setter. 

“bo! hey!” you greeted, pausing the ongoing conversation with akaashi. “i forgot to tell you, but akaashi’s sitting with us today. he sat with me yesterday so i just figured the three of us could start eating lunch together.” 

bokuto didn’t really think much of it. if anything, he was thankful that akaashi had kept you company and alleviated the ace of some of his lingering guilt from the day before. 

he had no qualms with having the duo become a trio for the period, and found himself enjoying the conversation floating between all of you. 

well. sort of. he didn’t really get to talk much with how exuberant you seemed to be with akaashi. it was nice to see you so happy and active with his friend, and the sight of your smile was enough to distract him from the unpleasant simmering of his stomach acid. 

for the most part. he had to excuse himself to the bathroom in the middle of class to splash cold water on his face and try to subdue the uncomfortable heat that was certainly not reminiscent of his previous warming adoration for you. 

despite how many times he urged you to go home early, you assured bokuto that you were fine with staying for his practice the whole time, ending your defense with a, “i really wanted to walk with you today!” and a smile that made him fall into your unintentional trap. 

true to your word, you walked to the train station with bokuto, boarding the same train. conversation was light and typical, but his leg kept bouncing and heart urged for him to say something before everything imploded under the pressure of his emotions. 

“are you dating akaashi?” great going, bokuto thought, the most discreet, subtle thing i could’ve possibly asked.

you blinked, and turned your gaze from your phone screen to him. you huffed out a lighthearted laugh and nudged your elbow into his ribs playfully. “of course not. we only really started talking yesterday. i wouldn’t date someone i barely know.” 

bokuto’s mind went on overdrive, the news coming as a deep relief for him and making him ignore the blaring reminders of potential consequences that flashed bright and red in his head. his mouth spilled words before he could logically think of what to say and figured letting his heart guide, as always, wouldn’t be a terrible choice. 

“so you’d date someone you do know? a lot? like a friend?” 

once again, his words weren’t discreet in the slightest, but he had tunnel vision pointed in your direction, covering you in a sheer golden light like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment--because you were. no need for detailed thought processes or pros and cons lists that he’d briefly considered making (“that’s what professionals do, right?”). 

your smile persisted, and he took that as a good enough sign to continue with his mindless stammering. 

though your voice interrupted his next outward train of thought, and he listened with the focus of a child watching a television screen. 

“what about this saturday? at noon? at that sweet little cafe near my house?” 

bokuto blinked. processed your words with an intensity unmatched, even compared to those times he had to write those stupid DBQs and analyze sources that were way too complicated for him to handle very well. 

you words were much easier for him to understand than college-level essays. much lighter, much sweeter, like agave syrup and orange zest. 

“yeah. this saturday. that’s… great.” 

bokuto wondered if it was possible to develop sudden onset asthma as you slid closer to his form, side pressed up against his in a way that felt much more meaningful than any casual touches from before. he lost his breath--felt like he dropped it--as you gave him a smile and let your hand casually fall against his. 

(he walked you all the way home, which he didn’t usually do, but today wasn’t really usual. you asked if you could kiss him, and in a fit of overwhelming emotions he blurted out “i thought i was supposed to do that?!” only for his words to be muffled by your lips on his. bokuto’s mind went silent for the first time in a long time, only filled with a gentle buzz and glimmering stars that made him feel warm and dizzy.)

[bakug0stw1nk]

Hello, everyone! This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. So here it is! This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! This is actually my third attempt at doing this. The first time, I didn't save it. The second time, the Neocities editor crashed. Now I'm writing this in Notepad, then copying it into the Neocities editor instead of typing it directly in the Neocities editor to avoid crashing. It sucks that my past two attempts are gone now. Those actually got pretty long. Not the longest, but still pretty long. I hope this one won't get lost somehow. Anyways, let's talk about WAFFLES! I like waffles. Waffles are cool. Waffles is a funny word. There's a Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. It's pretty annoying. There's also a Teen Titans Go episode about Pig Latin. Don't know what Pig Latin is? It's a language where you take all the consonants before the first vowel, move them to the end, and add '-ay' to the end. If the word begins with a vowel, you just add '-way' to the end. For example, "Waffles" becomes "Afflesway". I've been speaking Pig Latin fluently since the fourth grade, so it surprised me when I saw the episode for the first time. I speak Pig Latin with my sister sometimes. It's pretty fun. I like speaking it in public so that everyone around us gets confused. That's never actually happened before, but if it ever does, 'twill be pretty funny. By the way, "'twill" is a word I invented recently, and it's a contraction of "it will". I really hope it gains popularity in the near future, because "'twill" is WAY more fun than saying "it'll". "It'll" is too boring. Nobody likes boring. This is nowhere near being the longest text ever, but eventually it will be! I might still be writing this a decade later, who knows? But right now, it's not very long. But I'll just keep writing until it is the longest! Have you ever heard the song "Dau Dau" by Awesome Scampis? It's an amazing song. Look it up on YouTube! I play that song all the time around my sister! It drives her crazy, and I love it. Another way I like driving my sister crazy is by speaking my own made up language to her. She hates the languages I make! The only language that we both speak besides English is Pig Latin. I think you already knew that. Whatever. I think I'm gonna go for now. Bye! Hi, I'm back now. I'm gonna contribute more to this soon-to-be giant wall of text. I just realised I have a giant stuffed frog on my bed. I forgot his name. I'm pretty sure it was something stupid though. I think it was "FROG" in Morse Code or something. Morse Code is cool. I know a bit of it, but I'm not very good at it. I'm also not very good at French. I barely know anything in French, and my pronunciation probably sucks. But I'm learning it, at least. I'm also learning Esperanto. It's this language that was made up by some guy a long time ago to be the "universal language". A lot of people speak it. I am such a language nerd. Half of this text is probably gonna be about languages. But hey, as long as it's long! Ha, get it? As LONG as it's LONG? I'm so funny, right? No, I'm not. I should probably get some sleep. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back again. I basically have only two interests nowadays: languages and furries. What? Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. Haha, oops. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. When I'm older, I would like to have a fursuit, go to furry conventions, all that stuff. But for now I can only dream of that. Sorry you had to deal with me talking about furries, but I'm honestly very desperate for this to be the longest text ever. Last night I was watching nothing but fursuit unboxings. I think I need help. This one time, me and my mom were going to go to a furry Christmas party, but we didn't end up going because of the fact that there was alcohol on the premises, and that she didn't wanna have to be a mom dragging her son through a crowd of furries. Both of those reasons were understandable. Okay, hopefully I won't have to talk about furries anymore. I don't care if you're a furry reading this right now, I just don't wanna have to torture everyone else. I will no longer say the F word throughout the rest of this entire text. Of course, by the F word, I mean the one that I just used six times, not the one that you're probably thinking of which I have not used throughout this entire text. I just realised that next year will be 2020. That's crazy! It just feels so futuristic! It's also crazy that the 2010s decade is almost over. That decade brought be a lot of memories. In fact, it brought be almost all of my memories. It'll be sad to see it go. I'm gonna work on a series of video lessons for Toki Pona. I'll expain what Toki Pona is after I come back. Bye! 'm back now, and I decided not to do it on Toki Pona, since many other people have done Toki Pona video lessons already. I decided to do it on Viesa, my English code. Now, I shall explain what Toki Pona is. Toki Pona is a minimalist constructed language that has only ~120 words! That means you can learn it very quickly. I reccomend you learn it! It's pretty fun and easy! Anyway, yeah, I might finish my video about Viesa later. But for now, I'm gonna add more to this giant wall of text, because I want it to be the longest! It would be pretty cool to have a world record for the longest text ever. Not sure how famous I'll get from it, but it'll be cool nonetheless. Nonetheless. That's an interesting word. It's a combination of three entire words. That's pretty neat. Also, remember when I said that I said the F word six times throughout this text? I actually messed up there. I actually said it ten times (including the plural form). I'm such a liar! I struggled to spell the word "liar" there. I tried spelling it "lyer", then "lier". Then I remembered that it's "liar". At least I'm better at spelling than my sister. She's younger than me, so I guess it's understandable. "Understandable" is a pretty long word. Hey, I wonder what the most common word I've used so far in this text is. I checked, and appearantly it's "I", with 59 uses! The word "I" makes up 5% of the words this text! I would've thought "the" would be the most common, but "the" is only the second most used word, with 43 uses. "It" is the third most common, followed by "a" and "to". Congrats to those five words! If you're wondering what the least common word is, well, it's actually a tie between a bunch of words that are only used once, and I don't wanna have to list them all here. Remember when I talked about waffles near the beginning of this text? Well, I just put some waffles in the toaster, and I got reminded of the very beginnings of this longest text ever. Okay, that was literally yesterday, but I don't care. You can't see me right now, but I'm typing with my nose! Okay, I was not able to type the exclamation point with just my nose. I had to use my finger. But still, I typed all of that sentence with my nose! I'm not typing with my nose right now, because it takes too long, and I wanna get this text as long as possible quickly. I'm gonna take a break for now! Bye! Hi, I'm back again. My sister is beside me, watching me write in this endless wall of text. My sister has a new thing where she just says the word "poop" nonstop. I don't really like it. She also eats her own boogers. I'm not joking. She's gross like that. Also, remember when I said I put waffles in the toaster? Well, I forgot about those and I only ate them just now. Now my sister is just saying random numbers. Now she's saying that they're not random, they're the numbers being displayed on the microwave. Still, I don't know why she's doing that. Now she's making annoying clicking noises. Now she's saying that she's gonna watch Friends on three different devices. Why!?!?! Hi its me his sister. I'd like to say that all of that is not true. Max wants to make his own video but i wont let him because i need my phone for my alarm.POOP POOP POOP POOP LOL IM FUNNY. kjnbhhisdnhidfhdfhjsdjksdnjhdfhdfghdfghdfbhdfbcbhnidjsduhchyduhyduhdhcduhduhdcdhcdhjdnjdnhjsdjxnj Hey, I'm back. Sorry about my sister. I had to seize control of the LTE from her because she was doing keymash. Keymash is just effortless. She just went back to school. She comes home from school for her lunch break. I think I'm gonna go again. Bye! Hello, I'm back. Let's compare LTE's. This one is only 8593 characters long so far. Kenneth Iman's LTE is 21425 characters long. The Flaming-Chicken LTE (the original) is a whopping 203941 characters long! I think I'll be able to surpass Kenneth Iman's not long from now. But my goal is to surpass the Flaming-Chicken LTE. Actually, I just figured out that there's an LTE longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE. It's Hermnerps LTE, which is only slightly longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE, at 230634 characters. My goal is to surpass THAT. Then I'll be the world record holder, I think. But I'll still be writing this even after I achieve the world record, of course. One time, I printed an entire copy of the Bee Movie script for no reason. I heard someone else say they had three copies of the Bee Movie script in their backpack, and I got inspired. But I only made one copy because I didn't want to waste THAT much paper. I still wasted quite a bit of paper, though. Now I wanna see how this LTE compares to the Bee Movie script. Okay, I checked, and the Bee Movie script is 50753 characters long. Not as long as some of the LTEs I mentioned, but still longer than mine and Kenneth Iman's combined. This LTE is getting close to 10000 characters! That means it'll be half the length of Kenneth Iman's LTE. That's pretty exciting. Also, going back to the topic of the Bee Movie Script, I tried to write the entire thing out by hand once. But I never finished it, especially since I'm focusing on this thing now. Maybe I should write this LTE out by hand. Nah, I don't think I will. Yay, we're at 10000 characters! Let's celebrate by talking about MUSIC! Music is cool. That concludes our celebratory discussion about music. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day. Hi, I'm back now, and I got a book! It's a dictionary for a language called Elefen. It's like Esperanto, but better. Now I can learn Elefen even without internet! That's pretty cool. I will now write something in Elefen. See if you can understand it! Here goes: Si tu pote leje esta, tu es merveliosa! Elefen es un lingua multe fresca! Did you understand that? Maybe you can't speak Elefen, but you still understood that because of your knowledge of other languages. Elefen is cool because it's an actual language, not an English code like Pig Latin or Viesa. Oh, I forgot to mention that my sister is back from school. She's blasting Rhett and Link songs right now. Have you seen that picture of Rhett and Link standing with a bunch of *******? Sorry, I almost said the F word there. That would've broken my rule of not saying the F word. I wrote something in Elefen, so I will also write something in Toki Pona. See if you can understand it now! sina sona e toki mi la sina pona mute a! I can speak Toki Pona fluently, by the way. It's also a pretty cool language. My sister is still playing annoying songs. It's hindering my focus right now. But it's fiiiiine. Okay, luckily she's run out of songs to play. At least for now. She's trying to think of another annoying song to play. Now she's playing a song by Green Day. Not NEARLY as bad as the other songs she just played. I should go for now. Goodbye! Hello, I'm back once again. I don't know why I feel obligated to say that every time I come back. But I'll keep doing it anyway. My sister stopped blasting annoying songs, so that's good. She's cooking something in the microwave. I'll go check to see what it is right now. Nevermind, it's already done cooking. Right, I remember! It's mac and cheese! Now she just started singing "I have a tongue, you don't, because I cut it off yesterday". I don't know what goes on in her mind when she does stuff like that. I've been messing around with my Elefen dictionary for a while, looking up whatever random words I can think of. By the way, the whole reason I'm doing this longest text ever is because of pointlesssites.com. That's how I found the Flaming-Chicken LTE, which inspired me to start writing this LTE. So thanks, pointlesssites.com! I check that website every day to see what new pointless websites they add. You know, I could double every letter I type so that this text would be twice as long as it normally would be. But nah, that's kinda cheating. So I won't. Also, SUBSCRIBE TO PEWDIEPIE! There, I did my part. Not that anyone will read this, but still. 'Twould be nice if you subscribed to PewDiePie. That's another word I invented. Actually, I looked it up, and I didn't invent it. Someone came up with it before I did. That's pretty sad. Also, LEARN VIESA TODAY! IT WILL CURE YOUR DEPRESSION! Seriously though, learn Viesa. It won't actually cure your depression, but I'm desperate for speakers. I only have one other person to speak it with. I should go now. Goodbye. Hi, I’m back. I just came up with an idea: SIMPLIFIED ENGLISH! Or, in Simplified Engish: Simifid Enis. It’s where every group of consonant letters is reduced to the first consonant in that group of consonants, and same goes with the vowels. If a word ends up being just a single consonant with no vowel, put ‘a’ at the end. So “I like eating my waffles” becomes “I like etin ma wafes”. Isn’t it the most amazing thing ever? Nah, it’s not quite as amazing as Viesa. Actually, Viesa isn’t a real language, so it’s less amazing then Elefen and Toki Pona, both of which are cool languages. I kinda figured that half of this text would be about languages. Oh well. I just really want this to be the longest text ever, without using copy and paste, keymash, etc. If you remember, my sister did a little bit of keymash in this text a while ago. I would’ve deleted it, but nah, I didn’t feel like it. And besides, it’s not like it took up half this text. I have an estimate for how long it’ll take me to be the world record holder: about one month. I think I can manage one month of writing this. You know what? I’m just gonna break my rule of not saying the word “furry”. There, I said it. Now I’m allowing myself to write “furry” whenever I want. So with that out of the way, let’s talk about how I first became a furry. For some reason, I have the exact date when I became a furry memorized. It’s May 4, 2018. At that time, I discovered that I was a furry by watching some furry YouTube videos. I knew about the existence of furries years before this, but I didn’t know much about it until this time. I said to myself, “You know what? I’m a furry now,” and that’s what started it all. And I’ve been slowly learning more about the fandom ever since. I would like to participate more in the fandom when I’m older, but I’m too young for most of it right now. Guess I’ll just have to wait. But in the meantime, I can write about it in this text. I should sleep now. Goodnight. Hello, I'm back once again. Happy Pi Day! I memorized a bunch of digits of Pi once, not sure how many I still remember... I have literally nothing to write about now. I've been trying to come up with something for the past 10 minutes, and I still have no idea. Literally nothing is happening right now. It's pretty boring. My sister is watching Friends, as usual. Okay, since there's nothing for me to write about, I should go now. Bye! Wow, it has been a while since I last added to this. It is now July 10, 2019. Last time I edited this page was Pi Day, which was March 14. Those 4 months of this thing being untouched end today! Wait... 4 months? That means I was supposed to get this past the world record three months ago. Oh well. I have put many things into this text. A lot of them were cringy, like how I keep mentioning furry-related things. You know, I should stop putting things in here when I know I'm gonna cringe at them later. I'll try not to do that from here on out. I just know I'll fail though. I'd hate to be aware of someone reading this entire thing... like, if I had to sit and watch a family member or something read this entire text, I would cringe so hard. I would not want that to happen. I am currently pasting the entirety of the FlamingChicken LTE onto a page on OurWorldOfText. The frustrating thing about pasting stuff there is that it pastes one letter at a time, so it takes forever to paste long text. And when the tab isn't open, I'm pretty sure it just stops pasting, so you have to keep the tab open if you want it to continue. Why am I even doing this? No idea. I might not even paste the whole thing. I probably won't. Hey, I just had a thought. What if, in the future, students are reading this for a class assignment? What if this LTE becomes part of the school curriculum? If so, hi future student! I hope you're enjoying reading my CRINGE. What is my life coming to? That's enough writing for now. Goodbye. Hey again. Might as well continue writing in here for a bit. Hey, have you ever heard of 3D Movie Maker? It's a program from the 90s (that still works on modern computers) where you can make 3D animated movies. It's pretty cool. I've made a few movies with it myself, and many other people use it to make interesting stuff. In case you want to try it for yourself, I'm sure if you google "3dmm download" or something like that, it will take you somewhere where you can download the program. It's kinda aimed at younger children, but hopefully that doesn't stop you from making absolute masterpieces with this program. I have a keyboard in my room (the musical kind, not the one you type words on), and I don't really know how to play it properly, but I do it anyways. I can play a few songs on the piano (albeit with weird fingering because like I just said, I have no idea what I'm doing), including HOME - Resonance and PilotRedSun - Bodybuilder. You might not know one or both of those songs. If you don't know one of them, why not google it? You will have discovered some new music, and it will all be because of me. Why are you reading this, anyways? How did you even find it? Were you like me, and you were browsing pointlesssites.com, eventually finding the FlamingChicken LTE and going down a rabbit hole of discovering random LTEs? Literally the only reason I'm writing this right now is because that happened. I just discovered a new LTE: the RainbowFluffySheep LTE. I'm gonna see how many characters long it is. 75,957 characters. Pretty long, but not as long as the top two LTEs (FlamingChicken and Hermnerps, both with around 200,000 characters). I wanna write as much as possible into this text today. I'm gonna see how much LTE-writing I can do in one day. Hopefully it's a lot, because I wanna hold a world record! Imagine having a world record. Well, would it really be a world record? Because I don't know of any world record books that have "Longest Text Ever" as a record. Oh well, I just hope this LTE passes exactly 230,634 characters. That's all my goal is. I'm not even a tenth of the way there yet, but give it a month and I'm sure I'll get there. Hey, remember last time I said it would only take a month? That was four months ago. I should just stop promising things all together at this point. Forget I said anything about that. Did you know my sister has an LTE? That's right! It's not very long, though, and you can't read it because it's on her phone. She made it while bored at the library. That library was where I used to have web design classes. Those were fun, but I don't do them anymore. Now all I do it sit at home and write stuff in here. Well, I'm exaggerating. I go to the convenience store with my sister sometimes. But that's pretty much it outside of being bored on a computer. I should be a less boring human being. One day, I should translate this entire LTE into Viesa. That would be a big waste of time, even bigger than writing the LTE itself. But I could still do it. I don't think I ever will. This text is simply too long, and it'll be even longer than that by the time I pass 230,634 characters. By the way, if you think I'm gonna stop writing this once I pass 230,634 characters, you're wrong! Because I'll keep writing this even after I pass that point. It'll feel nice to be way ahead the record. My sister's alarm clock has been going off for half an hour and I haven't turned it off. Why? Because LAZYNESS! Actually, I really should turn it off now. There, I turned it off. First when I tried to turn it off, it started playing the radio. Then I tried again, and it turned off completely. Then I hurt myself on the door while walking out. So that was quite the adventure. I'm gonna go sleep now. Goodnight! Hey, I'm back again. My computer BSOD'd while writing this, so I have to start this section over again. That's why you save your work, kids! Before I had to start over again, I was talking about languages. Yes, I decided to bring that topic back after a while. But I no longer want to talk about it. Why? Because it'll probably bore you to death. That is assuming you're reading this at all. Who knows, maybe absolutely zero people will read this within the span of the universe's existence. But I doubt that. There's gotta be someone who'll find this text and dedicate their time to reading it, even if it takes thousands of years for that to happen. What will happen to this LTE in a thousand years? Will the entire internet dissapear within that time? In that case, will this text dissapear with it? Or will it, along with the rest of what used to be the internet, be preserved somewhere? I'm thinking out loud right now. Well, not really "out loud" because I'm typing this, and you can't technically be loud through text. THE CLOSEST THING IS TYPING IN ALL CAPS. Imagine if I typed this entire text like that. That would be painful. I decided to actually save my work this time, in case of another crash. I already had my two past attempts at an LTE vanish from existance. I mean, most of this LTE is already stored on Neocities, so I probably won't need to worry about anything. I think I might change the LTE page a little. I want the actual text area to be larger. I'm gonna make it a very basic HTML page with just a header and text. Maybe with some CSS coloring. I don't know. Screw it, I'm gonna do it. There, now the text area is larger. It really does show how small this LTE is so far compared to FlamingChicken or Hermnerps. But at least I made the background a nice Alice Blue. That's the name of the CSS color I used. It's pretty light. We're getting pretty close to the 1/10 mark! That's the point where we're one tenth of the way to making this the longest text ever, meaning all I have to do is write the equivalent of everything I've already written so far nine more times! Not gonna make any promises, though. How come every time I try to type "though", it comes out as "thought"? Why do I always type the extra T? It's so annoying that I have to delete the T every time. Okay, only mildly annoying. Not as annoying as I previously described. I apologize for my exaggeration of the annoyance level of me typing "thought" instead of "though". I just realized that most of the games I play are games that I've been playing for at least six years. I started playing Garry's Mod in 2013, Minecraft in whatever year version 1.2.3 came out. Now I have to look that up. March 2, 2012. So I started playing Minecraft approximately during that time. Wow, seven years ago! Coincidentally, I was also seven years old then. I remember the days of 2012-13. That was when I still played Roblox and made terrible YouTube videos. I was called "Infinite Budgets" back then. I also remember the days of 2016. A lot of people thought that was a terrible year, but for me personally, it brings me a lot of nostalgia because I talked a lot with my online friend at the time, and I did livestreams on YouTube and stuff. It was fun. 2016 was also when I got the phone that I still have to this day. Yup, my phone is three years old. My life was completely different when I got this phone: I was 11 years old, my YouTube channel actually had activity, and I wasn’t writing this text. I’m currently writing this in the car. We are on out way to the dollar store. And since I’m writing this on my phone, I’m making a lot more typos than usual. Some of them might make it through, so be prepared for that. Anyways, we appear to be getting close to the dollar store. I have a gift card for that place. I think so anyways, it might be for a different store... Yup, this dollar store is different. Oh well. My sister has an obsession with sponges. I’m sure she’s gonna find the sponges and go crazy over them. Why does she like sponges so much? No idea. She just found a bag of tiny baby dolls, and she wants to put them in ice cubes and call it “Ice Ice Baby”. She is truly a strange human being. My sister also has an obsession with stuffies. She has such an addiction, that she’s banned from them. Now she found the wigs and she’s considering buying one. She’s been looking at them for quite a while now. We’re out of the dollar store, and now we’re going to the computer store. I have no idea why we’re here. I guess we just are. Now we’re going home. Welp, that was a fun adventure. Stay tuned for more fun adventures as you read through this LTE. I should go now. Bye! Hello again. I made a private world on OurWorldOfText for my sister and I, but she doesn't want to join it. She doesn't think it'll be fun. Now I'm just editing it alone. How sad. But oh well. Now I’m here adding more to this text. I once made a Discord server specifically for a language called “Bo”, where the only word is “bo”. I made it almost four months ago, and somehow, it’s still going. People are still spamming nothing but “bo” there. It’s great. I also once made a server where you’re not allowed to use any vowels. It was a very strange server. I deleted it after some time though, so all that insanity is no more. I also used to own a Pig Latin server, but it got inactive so I deleted that too. We had some good memories in that server though. Now there’s a new Pig Latin server, but it’s not owned by me. Dang, my YouTube channel has been dead for so long. I haven’t posted a video in a year. I want to revive it, but I don’t know what to post there. I’ll figure it out. I doubt my channel will ever go back to it’s 2016 legacy, but I’m sure I’ll post something eventually. Random fact of the day: there are thirty-nine question marks so far in this text. Am I about to make it forty? Yes, I just did. Now the fact I initially stated is no longer true. Or is it? Because I said “so far” in the fact, that implies that we’re talking about the moment that fact was said, disregarding any future events. Now I’m pretty sure that fact is still technically true. Welp, I guess I should just accept that I’m editing that world of text alone for the rest of my life. I originally put a bunch of complaining in there, but I deleted it all. The thing is, now that world will never be same without all of that complaining about my sister not being here. But that’s fine. Hey, I just had a cool realization. Basically, there’s this conlang (constructed language, for those not in the know) server where we have a Sentence of the Week activity. In this activity, someone posts a text with a maximum of nine sentences, then people translate it into their own conlangs. My realization is this: if we take nine sentences from this LTE every week, there would be a whole year of sentences for people to translate. There are approximantly 523 sentences in this LTE. Divide that by 9 sentences each week, and you get 58 weeks worth of sentences, which is approximantly the number of weeks in a year. Quick maths. I actually suck at math, but that’s besides the point. I should go now. Goodbye! Hello, I’m back again. I really need to come up with different hello and goodbye messages, because I’ve already said “Hello, I’m back again” once before. Same with the “I should go now. Goodbye!” I said at the end of the previous section. I was going to explain what a “section” is, but I’m terrible at explaining things, so I’m not going to anymore. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out yourself. It’s probably not very hard to figure out, anyways. I guess I can just say that a section starts with me saying hello, and ends with me saying goodbye. That should be enough explaination, now that I think about it. Hey, do you ever feel like you never have any idea what you’re talking about? That’s my entire life. I just summarized it all in one sentence. On an unrelated note, I feel like half this LTE is just me talking about the LTE itself. I mean, press CTRL+F on this webpage, then type “LTE”. Look at all the times I use it in this text! Not counting the ‘lte’ in the word ‘multe’, of course. Dang, now the search results will include that, too. Anyways, half of this text is just me talking about how I’m trying to get this text to be the longest. Well, the longest LTE, anyways. I still have a long way to go. I’m only 12.7% of the way there. I mean, minus the four month gap, my estimation is that I’ve only been writing this for not even two weeks. So it makes sense that this LTE isn’t very long yet. Whenever I look at this webpage, it looks long at first glance, but the longer I look at it, the more I realize how short it actually is. It’s something that I can’t explain. For real this time. I just realized that none of this is helping the fact that half this LTE is about the LTE itself. I should bring up a new topic, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about much else. Why? Because, like I said, I never have any idea what I’m talking about. Most of this LTE is just me talking about LTEs or languages. Sometimes furries, but I don’t wanna go back into that territory at this point. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m still gonna write this LTE for as long as possible, even if it means talking about the same things half the time. Also, LEARN VIESA! Haven’t said that in a while, so I might as well bring it back. The documentation for Viesa is on this very website, so go ahead and read it! You might need to know some linguistic knowledge to understand it, though. In fact, you probably won’t understand most of it unless you know some amount about lingusitics, so you have been warned. If Viesa is too much for you, Pig Latin will probably be better for you. If it's so easy that kids can learn it, you can too! It's a language you can learn in probably five minutes, so why not give it a try? You may also enjoy Ubbi Dubbi, where you place 'ub' before every vowel sound. It's also a very easy language to learn, although not quite as popular. The thing is, none of these are even real languages. They're just codes, and very simple codes at that. You could probably crask Pig Latin or Ubbi Dubbi rather easily. Viesa too, actually. But I still enjoy them occasionally, even if Pig Latin and Ubbi Dubbi are inefficient and easy to crack, and Viesa is easy to crack yet unneccesarily difficult. I do make real languages, but I never put in the effort to learn them to fluency. At least I make them at all. Here’s a fun game: I will open up a random page from a book, and tell you the first word I see. English. That’s the word. Stay tuned for more fun games as you read through this LTE. We’re back, and we’re gonna play the same game as before. Ready? Subject. Now we’re gonna do it again. Reading. And again. Itself. Constituent. Grammar. Colloquial. Black. Outline. Add. About four of those words were language related. You’ll never guess why! (Spoiler alert: it’s a conlanging book). I’m running out of ideas now. I’m just gonna generate a random word and try to talk about it. Forbid. That’s the opposite of “allow”, I’m pretty sure. I don’t really know what else to say. Well, I guess I failed at generating a topic I could talk about. You know what's weird? My favorite word hasn't been used once in this entire text. I'm about to change that forever. Epic. Yup, my favorite word is "epic". I use it on a regular basis. I say "That's epic" all the time. It's a word I can't live without. Hey, I've now written more of this text after the 4 month gap than before it! Just thought I'd share that fact. Also, I'm gonna try and write as much as possible in this LTE today. I've already written more today than the day I first said I was gonna write as much as possible, so that's a good sign. The thing is, I don't know what to write about. I need to write about something, otherwise I won't write at all and I won't accomplish my goal. Wait, what goal should I set? How many characters should I write today? I'm gonna try and get 10,000 characters. I've already written almost 5,000 today, so from here I just have to write the equivellant of everything I've already written today. I'm just gonna try it and see if I make it. Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a bigger goal, like 15,000 or even 20,000 in one day. Actually, I don't know if 20,000 would even be possible for me. It might be, but it sounds like somewhat of a stretch for me to write that much in a single day. We'll see how long 10,000 takes, though. I'm already doing a bad job at this. I haven't typed anything here in several minutes. I need a topic. Um, Vabungula, I guess? Basically, it's a conlang created by Bill Price in 1965. It amazes me how one can work on a single conlang for that long. Most of the conlangs I start making die after 15 minutes. Anyways, I really like it because... um, I don't know, actually. There's not really anything about it that's super interesting (other than how long it's existed), it's just his personal conlang. Maybe it's the amount of development that went into it. It has over 5,000 dictionary entries and several texts written in the language. I'm sure most people reading this don't care about my language related talk, but I gotta make this long. I'm desperate to reach my 10,000 character goal. I've got 4,000 to go. I just found a website that generates random art from a seed. I just put this entire text as the seed, and it generated something quite nice. I would put the picture here, but I want this LTE to be nothing but text, so I won't do that. I've been playing with this for a while now. Many of the seeds produce boring pictures, but some of them are nice. For example, I just used "e" as the seed and it produced a nice looking picture. "a" looks nice too, arguably nicer. I've been using nothing but the word "nice" to describe these pictures. Maybe it's time to get a bigger vocabulary? "b" looks, um, good? I don't have the right vocabulary for this. I also don't feel like doing every single letter, because the pictures take some time to generate. But if you want to do it for yourself, just go to random-art.org and try it out! By the way, this is another website I found through pointlesssites.com. You know, the same website that lead me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which lead me to begin writing this whole thing. But what made me discover pointlesssites.com? Vsauce mentioned it. But what made me discover Vsauce? YouTube Reccomendations, probably. But what made me discover YouTube? As far as I remember, my dad showed it to me when I was 6. So I would like to thank my dad for being the reason I started writing this. He's the one who showed me YouTube, which reccomended me Vsauce, which mentioned pointlesssites.com, which brought me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which inspired me to start my own LTE. If he had never shown me YouTube, I wouldn't be here writing this text, and you wouldn't be reading it. Well, that's probably not true, because I probably would have discovered YouTube by other means, thus leading me to Vsauce, leading me to Vsauce, leading me to pointlesssites.com, leading me to the FlamingChicken LTE, leading me to... okay, I really need to stop now. I've gone too far. But you know what I haven't gone too far with? This LTE. I don't think I even can go too far with writing this text. Unless this text gets so long that it surpasses the 1GB storage limit of Neocities. In which case, I'll need to upgrade to Supporter in order to get a 50GB storage limit. But what if the text gets so long that is surpasses that? I don't think I'll ever make it there. I mean, 50GB is about 50 trillion characters. So I think we're good. I still need to get to 10,000 by the end of today. I've got 1,500 to go. Currently watching a livestream. It's reminding me of when I used to livestream back in 2016. I still kinda miss those days. But at the same time, I was quite awkward and had zero social skills, so I'm not sure if I'd want to go back. At this point, everything I've written today is longer than what can fit on the screen at once. At least on my computer screen. It probably changes with different screen resolutions and devices. But anyways, it's pretty unusual for that much of the LTE to be written in a single day. I don't want to pressure myself into writing this much every day, though. Last time I forced myself to complete a certain amount of something every day, it was overwhelming and I ended up losing motivation, thus letting down all my fans who were anticipating the August 30th, 2016 release date. Okay, the amount of eager fans was probably a number you could count on one hand, but still. By the way, if you're wondering what this "something" was, it was GoAnimated Garbage: The Movie, which was supposed to be an hour long episode of a series I made to make fun of random GoAnimate videos. In case you're not the type of person who knows what GoAnimate is... hoo boy. Basically, it's a drag-and-drop animation website infamous for the "grounded videos" that people made with it, among other types of videos. It's this whole community that I neither can explain nor want to explain. But I had somewhat of an association with that community back in the day. On my YouTube channel, I used to make a genre of GoAnimate video known as the "OS video". Typically an OS video is where some sort of hated character within the GoAnimate community forcefully installs their operating system onto a user's computer, and the user has to deal with this OS until they eventually find a way to "destroy" it. I made five of these videos. In chronological order: Caillou OS, Boots OS, Franklin OS, Little Bill OS, and Crap OS X. Caillou OS is the most viewed video on my main channel, which is unsurprising since Caillou is pretty much THE character associated with the GoAnimate community. When I made that video, it was a big transition for my channel. The channel's name was changed from Infinite Budgets, which had been my name since 2013 when I made crappy Roblox videos, to Allisima. All of my old videos were deleted, with the exception of my "Barney Errors", which was yet another genre of GoAnimate video. Basically, a Barney error is when a user's computer/console/whatever session is interrupted by a "Barney Error", a message informing the user that Barney has been killed, and the device must not be turned off because it's an "important message". There's also a bomb that's placed in Barney's "lair", the timer for which is displayed in the error. The user gets some amount of "chances", and every time the device is turned off, the user looses a chance and the time until the bomb explodes decreases. Eventually, the user turns off the computer enough times that there are no more chances left, the bomb explodes, and some sort of punishment happens. These punishments can range from having to downgrade your operating system, to having your computer destroyed, and in extreme cases, even to death. I once made a whole channel for Barney Errors, where I made about twenty of them before quitting. After that, I eventually quit GoAnimate all together, but I still made Crap OS X, an OS video made with Powerpoint. I also made an interactive OS parody called Windows Poop Editon, again with Powerpoint. Before that, I also made one called "Atch OS" using my old Windows XP netbook. I just checked to see if my old Weebly website still exists, since there's an Atch OS download on there and I wanted to see if it dissapeared from existence or not. Appearantly it does! I'm getting so much nostalgia from this website. It's like a window into 2016, when I had fun making these videos on a regular basis. I'm way past my 10,000 character goal now. I'm kinda glad I set this goal, but again, I'm not gonna force myself to do it everyday. I think I'm gonna stop writing for today. Bye! Hey, I'm back. Yes, that hello wasn't original either, since I already said it once. Specifically, after my sister seized the LTE and started spamming. You remember that, right? I hope you read through this whole thing instead of just picking a random part (which just happened to be this part) and reading only a tiny bit. Nah, I'm just kidding. Read this text however you want to, it doesn't matter if you read this entire text from start to finish or not. I mean, I did put some cringy stuff in here, as I keep mentioning. But it's on the Internet, and since recently, on my homepage, so I know people are gonna read it. Really the only reason I'm making this is because I have a weird obsession for writing giant walls of text. Guess what? I just added translations of this LTE into various conlangs on my website! But they're all very incomplete, and I probably won't finish them ever... I mean, if I'm gonna finish any of them, 'twill probably be the Viesa translation since it's the easiest to do. Hey, 'twill's back! I remember the very beginnings of this LTE, when I first mentioned 'twill. That was 40,000 characters ago. Appearantly I'm measuring time with characters now. Hey, what's the average amount of text I write per day in this LTE? The four month gap probably significantly drops that amount. Let's see! The trouble is finding out when I started writing this LTE, because I don't know the exact date. I'm just gonna estimate that it was March 12, based on the amount of times I said goodnight before I said "Happy Pi Day". It's not a very accurate measurement, though, because sometimes I stop writing for the day without saying goodnight. But anyways, from March 12 to today, July 16, is 127 days. As of that previous sentence, there are 42,549 characters in this LTE. 42,549 characters divided by 127 days equals about 335 characters per day. That's not very much at all. To get an idea of how short that is, the first 335 characters of this LTE consist of about 64 words and 8 sentences. As I predicted, the four months of no activity had a big impact on this number. But what if we ignore the 4 month gap, which was from March 15 to July 9, I've only been working on this LTE for ten days. 42,549 characters divided by 10 days is about 4254 characters. That's much better. It might be that big because of the 12,600 characters I wrote yesterday. I said I wouldn't do it every day, but honestly, I'm feeling like doing a goal again today. I think I might even go a bit higher than yesterday. Let's do 15,000 characters! I have zero life outside of this LTE, anyways, so I think I'll make it. As long as I keep typing about random stuff for the entire day, I'll probably get past 15,000 easily. I think I'm insane. Literally all I do anymore is write this LTE. My mom is almost certainly concered for me, because I was in my room pretty much all of yesterday and my sister told her about how I'm trying to write the longest text ever. But enough about my descent into insanity for now. Let's get this LTE to over 55,000 characters today! This is probably the most meta LTE in existence. Like I've said, I talk about the LTE itself as much, if not more than anything else. By the way, if I were to write as much as I did yesterday every day, I would reach my goal in just 15 days. Now I'm tempted to do that, even though I said I wouldn't set a goal like that every day. I think I might end up doing it subconciously. I kinda wanna convince some other people I know online to start their own LTE. Wouldn't it be fun if we all had our own LTEs? They would probably all die within a day, but at least I wouldn't be the only one writing an LTE in 2019... The most recently updated LTE I've seen is the RainbowFluffySheep LTE, which I believe was last updated in late 2018. That wasn't really that long ago, but still, I don't think it's being updated anymore. Now let's do an LTE Timeline! The original FlamingChickens LTE was probably started sometime in 2004, and Hermnerps was started the same year. The FlamingChickens LTE stopped in 2005, while the Hermnerps LTE actually lived on until 2009, although edits after the end of 2004 were rather sparce. The Kenneth Iman LTE was started in 2013 and was last updated in 2015. The RainbowFluffySheep LTE both started and was last updated in March 2018. And of course, the WhileTrue LTE was started in March 2019 and is still being updated today. Wow, 15 years of LTEs! I think my LTE is the only one still being updated. It would be nice if someone else was writing their own LTE along with me. But 'twill be hard to convince other people to waste their lives writing a useless wall of text. You never know, maybe an LTE that stopped being edited years ago will come back from the dead. That seems kind of unlikely though. Very strange fact incoming. A certain word has not been used since the very beginning of this text. Ready to learn what it is? I shouldn't tell you, actually. Of course, that would ruin it. Unless you want me to ruin a really cool fact. Surely you wouldn't want that to happen. Okay, I'll just tell you, because I'm probably gonna end up using it again someday or another. The word is "various". If you search for "various" in this LTE, you'll only find it at the very beginning as well as here. And I was gonna keep this a secret, but just now I did this thing where if you take the first letter of each sentence, it spells out "VARIOUS". Kinda clever... I guess? Anyways, for those who are insane enough to be reading this entire thing from the start Wow, you have quite the dedication. My LTE isn't even the longest yet, but perhaps in the future, when it is the longest, people will be challenging themselves to read the entire thing. And maybe you're one of them! Perhaps you're reading this long after I've passed my goal, in which case you still have quite a bit to go. So I wish you luck on your Longest Text Ever reading adventure! I've been talking about LTEs all day. For the past 6,000 characters, in fact. I need to find something different to talk about. But first, I just had an idea pertaining LTEs. I should compare this LTE to the longest joke in the world! The longest joke in the world is 56,554 characters long, which is about how long I'm trying to get this LTE by the end of today. So if I reach my goal today, this text will be longer than the longest joke in the world! That's pretty cool. I would also be a quarter of the way to my goal. But let's get back to finding something different to talk about. I can't think of anything. My sister is singing a song about wanting Subway. I will never understand her. What goes through her brain that makes her decide "Yeah, I think it would be a good idea to sing about how I really want Subway"? I don't get how her brain works. She also likes eating paper. I asked her and appearantly she was perfectly okay with me writing that in here. She probably thinks nobody's ever gonna read this. But she's gonna be wrong! Eventually. Now she's asking me to write about how she likes yogurt. "Because I didn't used to", she says. She's eating mango yogurt, and she has water in a Gatorade bottle. Now I'm asking her what else I should put in this text. She says I should write about how there's wild sage where we live. Now she's having hot chocolate. She didn't ask me to write that, but I told her I was going to write it and she said okay. My sister might start her own Longest Text Ever, again. She says it will have only one word repeated throughout the entire text. But I told her that it defeats the purpose of an LTE. In the original FlamingChickens LTE, one of the very first things that is written is "I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste". Okay, I just made a webpage for her LTE (it's gonna be an actual LTE this time). Stay tuned for "The Best Longest Text Ever", as she calls it. I think it should have just been called "KKs Longest Text Ever" or something, but whatever. She types really slow, but I hope her LTE will be successful nonetheless. Warning: if you do go and read her LTE, she spoils Spiderman: Far From Home at the very beginning, so be careful about that. In fact, she's basically typing the entire plot of the movie. Well, that's one way to increase your LTE's length, I guess. My sister is listening to her terrible songs instead of writing her LTE. Well, she has her LTE page open, but she's not writing anything and is singing instead. Actually, she's writing stuff now, so ignore everything I said previously. She's still writing the entire plot. Her LTE is now 2,000 characters, which isn't very long, but she's only been working on it for an hour. Plus she's a slow typer. She types everything with one hand. It might take a while for her LTE to get to this level. But assuming she keeps writing it and doesn't forget about it after today, it'll get pretty long eventually. I still need to write 7,000 characters today. My sister is watching a cringy video made by our old elementary school. They became a French immersion school after I left. She found one of the videos I was in... oh god, I can't stand to look at that video. It hurts me to think about those days. My sister's LTE webpage has text now! Maybe I should create a page linking to all the LTEs I know about. I think I'll do that. Boom, it is done. I think I'm gonna also put a link to it on this page. There, that's done as well. Guys, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it to 15,000. I still have 5,000 characters to go (I was completely off earlier, I don't have 7,000 left to go), and there's not much left of the day. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to make a goal for the day in the first place. After all, LTE writing is supposed to be fun! Sort of. There's zero need to make unneccesary deadlines. I think it just reduces the fun, as well as the part of my life that isn't just writing huge walls of text. From here on out, I declare character-per-day goals abolished. I will no longer make attempts to write a certain amount in a single day. I should have listened to my past self, who said not to do goals every day. But I didn't, and now I regret it. But anyways, here's a fun fact about this LTE: excluding my upcoming usage, the pronoun "he" is only used twice in this LTE, and they both refer to my dad. On the other hand, the pronoun "she" is used forty times! Almost all of these refer to my sister. Only one refers to my mom. I guess I just really like talking about the weird stuff my sister does. But not as much as being meta and talking about my own LTE. Here's another fun fact: "LTE" is the fourteenth most common word in this text! That's insane. It's more common than words you'd expect to be common, like "you", "I'm", "for", "be", "about", "was", and so on. I really need to talk about other things once in a while. But since I have zero creativity, I always resort to talking about the same topics. From what I've seen, most other LTEs are pretty diverse, but mine isn't at all. Honestly, this is likely the most boring LTE to read. But my absolute lack of creativity means it's probably gonna stay that way for a long time. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Maybe I'll be more creative by tomorrow. Probably not. Anyways, goodnight. Hey, I'm back, and I don't feel any more creative. But I did have a dream last night, so I'm gonna talk about that. Last night, I dreamt that I was in one of our old houses, and I saw that someone made a video roasting Viesa. They talked about how you shouldn't say "dog" in Viesa, because appearantly "deeg" is bad or something? I don't know. Then they said the rule where W becomes V is weird, but I don't remember the reason they said it. I didn't really care about how they roasted my language. Then I watched a Minecraft video for whatever reason, and then the dream ended. How do other LTE writers have so many topics to talk about? All I ever talk about is either LTEs themselves, or the fact that all I ever talk about is LTEs. There's no diversity. I very rarely talk about anything else. And when I do, it's usually about languages and lasts only a few sentences. There, I deleted it. Oh, you don't have any context. Basically I wrote a bunch of depressing stuff, then I decided to delete it all. I knew I was going to regret it later, in the same way I regret writing all that stuff about furries. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being a furry, it's just that it personally makes me uncomfortable looking back on it. I'm not even into that stuff as much anymore. I don't watch furry YouTube, and I don't talk about how much I want a fursuit/go to a convention. That's a part of me that's slowly disappearing. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about that, because I literally just said how I regret talking about it in this text. You know, I've been feeling kind of down about this LTE lately, because as I just mentioned, all I ever talk about is this LTE itself, there's no diversity, blah blah blah. It's especially been like that ever since the four month gap. In fact, I barely talked about LTEs before that gap. It's like I lost all my creativity after four months. You know what? I'm officially gonna say this: If, for some reason, you are reading this before you decide you want to start reading this entire text, READ EVERYTHING FROM "WOW, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE" TO HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKELY DIE OF BOREDOM DUE TO THE MONOTONOUS TOPICS! There, now I'm gonna try and forget that half this LTE is the same exact boring topic. I will also try to avoid writing about the same exact boring topic for the rest of this text. Let's celebrate the End of Monotonous Topics (EMT) by talking about how we (my sister and I) had lunch and did various other things with our grandpa! So grandpa asked if we wanted to have lunch and spend an afternoon with him, and we said yes. Then he picked us up, and we went to a nearby town where we had lunch, went to a museum which was a house built in 1909 as well as the town's first hospital, and got ice cream from what is appearently one of the best ice cream places in the country, according to grandpa. So today was a fun day. I'm gonna go now. Bye! Hey, I'm back. That's the fifth time I've said that. I need to come up with more original... nah, whatever. Anyways, I had a dream last night which was basically a whole movie I don't remember most of. All I remember is playing a keyboard at the store for some reason, and that the dream ended with a random car horn. Oh, and there was Minecraft involved in the beginning, which I'm pretty sure is becoming a recurring theme in my dreams. I don't know why that happened, because I rarely play Minecraft anymore. Do any of y'all remember the DVD screensaver meme? That was one of my favorite memes. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, many DVD players had this screensaver where it was a DVD logo bouncing around the screen. The big moment that everyone anticipates is when the logo hits the corner of the screen perfectly, because, well, it's just so SATISFYING! I used to watch a livestream that was literally just this screensaver running endlessly. And when it hit the corner, it was a huge celebration for both me and everyone else watching. I got so excited when the logo hit the corner. My computer's screensaver is even still a DVD screensaver. But nowadays when I see it hit the corner, I don't have as much enthusiasm as I used to. I've just seen it too many times for it to be exciting anymore. Plus, the meme isn't even a thing anymore. I doubt that livestream is even still running. But you never know, so I'm gonna check to see if it's still going. Oh wow, it is! That was the last thing I expected to see in July 2019. But only four people are watching it, which makes sense. The title now says "DVD Logo Screensaver For 1 Year", even though it hasn't quite been going on for a year. But when it hits that point, perhaps that's when it will finally end? It should have ended months ago, if you ask me. Yup, I was right. There's a countdown on the livestream to when it ends, and it says 181 days, 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 3 seconds. Wow, the corner hit and wall hit numbers are much bigger now. The most corner hits I'd seen is around 1400 or so, but now it's at 4776! The wall hits used to be in the hundred-thousands, now it's at over two and a half million! Hello, I have returned. There, I came up with something original to say! Anyways, I just combined every single LTE I know of (including this one) and put it onto one single page on a Wikia wiki called "No Rules Wiki". That wiki exactly as you would expect from the title. I found it a while ago, and I thought it was about time I made a contribution, even if pasting over half a million characters into a single article is breaking some rule... I've been wanting to make Viesa an actual conlang for so long now. I think it's long overdue at this point. Hey, I'm back again. These sections are getting shorter and shorter each day. But oh well. I just discovered how much I like the word "number". I don't know why, but it's just so fun to say! I think I've liked that word ever since I was a toddler learning my numbers! I remember thinking it was a fun word even back then. At that time I had two little electronic toys: one was orange and for numbers, and one was purple and for letters. I'm pretty sure those were the colors. I also vaguely remember having a fan that lit up and displayed custom messages. I haven't seen anything like that since then. All I hear right now is Baby Shark being blasted upstairs. You know that song, right? I don't know who doesn't know it at this point. I can't think of a single person I've seen that doesn't know what that song is. Dang, ever since the EMT I haven't been writing as much in this text. Looks like LTEs were all I could talk about. Oh well. How many times have I said "oh well"? Probably a lot. About eight times, in fact. I'm back again. I went a full day without writing anything into this LTE yesterday! There were a lot of things happening that day, so I didn't feel like writing. I could've written at least a little bit, but I didn't. Time for me to use this LTE as my dream journal yet again! I had a dream where my domain was "exin" (or something like that) instead of "whiletrue", so that was a thing. I also had a dream where there was this game that I thought existed in the real world, but it didn't. Dreams do that sometimes. I don't remember much about the game, but it involved the Simpsons, I guess? Also, I was in a weird store where they had an... iCarly laptop? And a bunch of gift cards. That's all I remember. For now, at least. My sister does not like synthwave. She says "it's repetitive", "the sounds they use don't sound like music", and she doesn't like how it doesn't have lyrics. First of all, she's hypocritical because she always listens to the same songs on repeat. And why does it matter that it doesn't have words? Why does she think every single piece of music in existence has to have words? YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR OPINIONS THERE! (That was a reference to a cringy GoAnimator that no one reading this will get, unless you came to this website from my YouTube channel which you subscribed to during my OS video days). Anyways, synthwave is objectively the best genre of music. I remember hearing HOME - Resonance for the first time in a Discord voice chat, and it was magical. I wish I could listen to that song for the first time again. That was how I got into synthwave. You know what my favorite color combination is? Yellow text on a magenta background. Oh, and don't forget the Comic Sans. That is just pure beauty right there. In fact, it's used in the first frame (well, close enough) of "history of the entire world, i guess", which makes me love that video even more. We're at 60,000 characters, 1,000 sentences, and 12,000 words! Weird how all those counts hit such round numbers in one day, huh? I need to stick to the EMT, so I should stop talking about that. My sister is attempting to build a Lego city. Her goal is to have three buildings, since she doesn't have THAT much Lego. Have you noticed how quickly I've been switching topics in this text? That's because I can't talk about anything for a long time. That is, unless that thing is languages or LTEs. I am currently trying to revive a language my sister and I started making a while back. Sometimes my sister has days when she doesn't hate languages for some reason, then she ends up starting one. But of course, she regained her hate and abandoned it. Now I'm the only one working on the language. By the way, the language is called Lazay, which was the successor to Zula, the first language we made together which is now deleted. We started writing the language on paper, but then I started a Google Doc. I'm sure the papers are still here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find them. I’m back again. I haven’t been ending these sections with goodbyes recently. But whatever. We’re on our way to IKEA to get a dresser for my room. We’re listening to Queens of the Stone Age right now, and I’m just waiting for “Fortress” to come on. I sing that song in Viesa, but I make up half of the lyrics. It goes: Ванавар јак фиртрас кува, ма башег ђара, ја сок. Try and translate that! The song is playing now. I like this song. We’re back from IKEA now. Actually, we’ve been home for hours now, and we’ve already built the dresser. My computer crashed (but don’t worry, I started writing this in Google Docs on my phone), and now Google Chrome won’t open. So I have to use Microsoft Edge for now. I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back. My sister is brushing my back with a hairbrush, and I don't know why. I asked her what I should write about (because I have zero creativity), and she said I should write about that. I'm gonna type whatever comes to my head now. Hi, I'm a boring human being who has zero creativity whatsoever and still happens to be writing an LTE. Isn't that insane? How could this be? Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know. It is a strange mystery that has yet to be solved. Hmm, I wonder if I should go and eat pancakes now? I'm so random right now. In fact, there's an entire subreddit for that: r/iamsorandom. You should check it out! I mean, you don't really have to, but it would be nice if you did. I use Reddit a lot, but I only use it for language-related stuff. Well, I make posts in language-related subreddits, but the non-language subs that I look at are ones that I don't post anything to, because I know nothing about literally anything that isn't languages. And heck, I don't even know much about languages! I only make English codes and call them "conlangs". Sort of. I usually don't actually call them conlangs, but I use them for such purposes. I speak Viesa as if it were a real language, but it simply is not. Why did I make Viesa in the first place? Well, you see, it all started out as a joke for April Fools' Day. I called it "the new universal language", despite it literally being a cipher of English. What!? A cipher of English being a universal language? How silly! What a funny joke, right? Maybe? Somewhat? Anyways, I then made a SECOND VERSION! DUN DUN DUN! This second version had CLICKY SOUNDS which, spoiler alert, dissapear in the next version of Viesa. Sad, right? RIP CLICKS 2018-2018 NEVER FORGET! I also added WACKY GRAMMAR STUFF and PRONOUNS! WOAH! How crazy! Then I made the next version: VERSION 3.0! This version added CYRILLIC! (you know, that alphabet the Russians use, as well as the Serbs, whose version of the Cyrillic alphabet I stole for Viesa. Hehehe!) And that's the entire history of Viesa, explained in a Zany way! Do you like how I capitalized "Zany" there? Aren't capital letters so cool? They let you YELL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! They add EXCITEMENT! And most of all, they let you capitalize words like This. lowercase letters are also cool. without them, we'd all be yelling and screaming all the time. That would be pretty tiring, wouldn't it? I see two water bottles. One is empty, while the other still has some water in it. The empty one is blue, and the one with the water is pink. I should also mention that the blue one is mine, while the pink one is my sister's. I got that water bottle because I lost my other one at school. But GUESS WHAT? I FOUND IT IN THE LOST AND FOUND! Wow! Now I had two water bottles. How Wacky and Crazy and Zany and Bizzare and all those adjectives that perfectly describe this epic moment! Wow, writing your mind is a great way to increase your LTEs length! Before I was actually THINKING about what I was writing. But now I barely do, and it's greatly improving my LTE! Except the overuse of capital letters might throw the reader off guard a little because of how sparingly I've used them in the past, but oh well. I could fix it, but I don't feel like it. I want to continue writing, but I need to sleep now. Goodnight! Hi, I'm back again. My computer crashed AGAIN, and I was ignorant enough to not save my work, so that means I have to start this part of the text all over again. That's quite unfortunate. But did I mention that my Google Chrome is working again? That's the good news. It's good news because Google Chrome has all my logins, websites, and stuff like that. Hopefully you know what I mean when I say that. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't even know what I mean right now! I'm probably insane right now. Especially since I'm writing this right now, as I have been for about 18 days minus the four month gap... I think. I hope I did that right. As I've said before, I'm bad at math. My sister just read the entirety of what I've written today for some reason. My sister just sang "I want your computer to crash again because I'm evil". She IS evil if she wants my computer to crash. At least I'll have this section saved. In fact, right now I'm pressing Ctrl+S after every sentence! Including this one. And this one. Also this one. I think you get the point now. My sister keeps typing into this LTE without my consent, and I keep having to delete it all. It's pretty annoying. Hey, flashback to when I said that way at the beginning of this text! You know, the part where I talk about the Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. You know what else is said a hundred something times (in this LTE)? The letter J. So far it's been used 115 times in this LTE. That's your Interesting LTE Fact of the Day! Well, not really "daily", but whatever. Here's a story: Once upon a time, people got tired of starting off their stories with "Once upon a time", so they stopped doing that. But one person decided not to stop using "Once upon a time", and used it at the beginning of this story. And that person is ME! The end. Wasn't that a lovely story? You're probably not thinking that. Again, I'm not creative in any way whatsoever. That's why I don't usually write stories and instead write giant walls of text full of meaningless information, like the one and only WhileTrue's Longest Text Ever that you're reading right now. Hopefully nobody died of boredom from reading between "Wow, it has been a while" and the EMT. That's the most boring part of the LTE! 90% of it is just me talking about LTEs themselves. How uninteresting is that? Very uninteresting. Penguins. What are they? I don't know. What am I even writing right now? I haven't a clue. Isn't it weird that I said "haven't a clue" like that? Normally "haven't" isn't used if it's alone as a verb, as in "I haven't my keys". Who says that? Nobody, that's who. And yet "I haven't a clue" is an actual thing I've heard people say. Anyways, AFRICA! That was random, but let's discuss it anyway. Africa is a well-known song by Toto. It's a good song. I can kinda sorta play it on piano? Maybe? I don't know. Another song I can play on the piano is All Star by Smash Mouth. You know, the Shrek song? Anyways, I once made a video called "All Star but it's played on a Sesame Street piano" and it got almost a million views. It's been stuck at 900,000 for what seems like forever now. I'm gonna check to see if it's at a million now. I doubt it, though. Nope, still at 926,000 views. And I doubt it's gonna get any more, to be honest. It had a good run though. My sister is chugging applesauce. She thinks she's epic because of it. I don't know anymore. I seem to keep saying that after everything I type at this point. It's strange. Hello, I have returned after yet another long absence. When was the last time I added to this? I think it was somewhere in July. So yeah, it’s been three months, as it is now October 17, 2019. The end of the decade is approaching fast. I’m a bit excited, because I’ll have significant memories from more than just one decade! My earliest significant memories started in Kindergarden, which was in 2010. This means that I only really remember one decade. But now that an entirely new decade is coming up, I’ll be able to remember another! Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be excited over this, since the boundaries between years is arbitrary, and a decade is 10 years only because we count in base 10, so if we counted in base 12 or something, a decade would be 12 years long. That was kind of a run-on sentence, but I don’t really feel like making this text perfect, anyway. Have you heard of the Library of Babel? libraryofbabel.info is a website containing every possible combination of the lowercase letters a-z, space, comma, and period. The library is divided into hexagonal chambers. Each hex contains four walls. Each wall contains three shelves. Each shelf contains 32 volumes. Each volume contains 410 pages of 3200 characters each. Everything you could ever say or write is on this website. Even this LTE! See for yourself: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte. Okay, that’s only the first bit of it, but every other bit of this LTE is somewhere in the library! In fact, here’s the next bit: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte:1. It’s split up into about 20 different pages. I don’t feel like putting links to all of them here. It also removes punctuation that the library doesn’t use, like the exclamation point, question mark, colon, and so on. But it’s pretty mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me. If you try and browse the library yourself though, you probably won’t find much more than total gibberish. It’s crazy to think that everything we could ever possibly say or write is massively outweighed by meaningless strings of letters and punctuation.

[lombredanslaeu]

hourglass | lee jeno

▸angst, fluff i guess??

▸ summary: sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

▸ WARNING: eating disorder, depression, body dysmorphia, starvation. if any of the above triggers you or if you are not comfortable, please refrain from reading the story. 

All your life, you never really cared about your weight. As an engineering student and a part-time musical theatre actor, you never had the reason to be conscious of your body. Engineering required only your brain; no one cared what you wore or what you looked like in class. Musical theatre didn’t have as much standards for appearance than it does with vocals. Your body wasn’t that bad anyway. You were considered skinny by some and many grew envy about how you could eat so much and not gain a pound immediately. However, your perception of your body changed the day you started dating Lee Jeno.

You met Jeno when his company’s CEO decided to treat its artists with tickets to a Wicked show. You got the greatest opportunity of playing Elphaba; with your impeccable vocal talent, it wasn’t an effort to grace the stage and awe the audience. Your production always valued you not only because of your talent, but also because of your warm personality. You first made eye contact with Jeno when his company’s CEO took them backstage to meet the cast after the show. You had time to talk for a while as the CEO became deep in dialogue with the show’s director. It was Taeil who first initiated a conversation with you as the others, especially the youngsters, were too shy to start a conversation with anyone. As everyone warmed up with the other casts, you never failed to notice how Jeno was love-struck with you.

“Wow, your voice is defying the laws of gravity,” another member, Johnny, said to you.

You blushed and shook off the compliment. “Thank you so much. That meant so much to me.”

Everyone scurried off to different areas on the backstage. You were caught off-guard when one of the younger members, Jeno, talked beside you.

“How long have you been performing?” He asked.

“Only just for a year. I wasn’t planning on making this long-term. I only wanted to play a few shows here and there.” You explained. “but, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity of being Elphaba.”

“That was one of the greatest performance I’ve seen in so long.” He said. “I actually really enjoy musical theatre.”

“Really?” You asked, shocked by his confession. “What’s your favorite musical?”

“It used to be Cats,” He said, smiling shyly. “But I think know it’s Wicked.”

“Oh please,” You chuckled. “Cats is a really good show.”

He looked at you, laughing shyly. “Do you like frozen yogurt?”

“I like frozen yogurt,” You smiled.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself going on secret dates with the heartthrob. You would bond over coffee, books, and broadway musicals. You never knew he liked musicals. There would days where he would help you practice songs for your next show and you would watch him practice a choreography for a comeback. You both found the one thing that kept you closer and closer: the love for performing.

“Seeing the happy faces of my fans is one thing,” He started, staring off into the night. “But the look on my parents’ as they say how proud they are of me, is what keeps me going.”

You stared at his side profile and swallowed a lump in your throat. “They have every reason to be proud of you.”

He turned his head to meet your eyes. His eyes lingered on yours for a while before looking down at your lips. You blushed at the feeling he had over you.

“You’re really pretty.” He started. The statement took you by surprise. Not a lot of people tell you that you’re pretty but, if it comes from Jeno, any other doesn’t matter anymore.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” You chuckled. You’re not lying. Jeno has the looks that could make anyone wrapped around his fingers. “I feel like I don’t deserve to be under your gaze.”

“Of course you deserve to be looked at.” He said, more seriously this time. “I could build a gallery of you but that would give me more competitors so, I won’t do that.”

“Jeno, if you wanna kiss me, just do it.” You said. You wanted to punch yourself for what you just said. Normally, you would freak out and leave from embarrassment. But now, you held your gaze stronger. You had no idea where the courage came from.

And he did. He kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered. It didn’t end there. Later that night, he showed you how beautiful you are.

Sometimes, he would sneak out, with a member or two, to watch one of your shows. He would stare in awe at how people give you their applause. As the spotlight shine down on you, it was like he was seeing a goddess grace everyone with her beauty.

“Dude, if you don’t ask her out, I’m really gonna do it,” His friend, Jaemin, announced beside him.

“I already beat you into it, punk.” He responded boastfully. The shocked look on his friend’s face made him laugh.

Your peaceful relationship was cut short when his boss found out about the thing going on between you two. To say you were shocked by his calm and accepting nature would be an understatement. His company approved of your relationship. It was like the stars have aligned just for the both of you. The news broke out and spread like wildfire on the internet that night. You were too busy rejoicing with your lover that you failed to notice the threats and harsh comments of furious fans until the next morning.

You were supposed to wake up with the bird chirping and the sun shining just for you. However, you found yourself with an unfamiliar feeling in your gut. It was as if you were scared to do anything and go outside. You knew how ugly criticism from fans could be. You understood that many would not approve of your relationship but you accepted that. His company accepted the relationship and his future in NCT is not affected. At the end of the day, the comments would just float around the internet and disappear before you know it.

“You can block off the comments, you know,” He said.

“Yeah, but I think criticism can always help me improve,” You said. You didn’t want him to hate his fans.

“Those aren’t criticisms, Y/N” He replied. “Those are bashful comments.”

“It’s okay, Jeno.” You smiled, pecking his lips. “I can manage.”

 --

Outfits are an important part in musical theatre. They distinguish which character is which, even if the actor is an understudy. You were casted as Regina George in the musical remake of the hit movie, Mean Girls. The director and costume head requested you wear a crop top and skirt for the role and you said yes; after all, you liked really girly outfits. You were looking over your closet and picked out items that might fit the role. You tried on an outfit that you think was a good combination. You looked at yourself in the mirror and felt a slight wave of worry come across your chest. Jeno’s fans might see your show. What would they think if they saw your body was no match to any female idol that Jeno has interacted with? You walked over to your phone and searched up healthy diets for a good figure.

 --

Jeno had a day off and he wanted to see you practice your songs. You both sat at the couch of your small apartment with lyrics sheet in front of you.

“I wanna have pizza for lunch. What kind do you want?” He asked, fishing his phone out of his pocket to order.

“Oh nothing, I’m kinda watching my figure.” You said, looking down to avoid his eyes. You’re still not comfortable in telling people about your diet, especially to Jeno.

“Are you sure? You can burn those off in work outs anyway.” he said, concern washing over his eyes. It worried him that you weren’t eating. Food was one of the things you both bonded over. You had a fancy palette. He thought it was best to trust in you for now.

“I promise. Olivia makes very good hearty meals. I will eat dinner later.” You said.

With so much going on between theatre and your college life, there is only so much you could do in your free time. Working out would take so much of time and with deadlines as the semester is ending, you couldn’t find any time for it. So, you resulted in skipping meals. You only had two more weeks until the Mean Girls show. You just had to make sure your stomach was flat till the end of the production.

“Do you think my cheeks are too full?” You said to Jeno, squishing your face in front of the mirror.

“I think they suit you.” He said before pinching your cheeks. “It’s also really fun to squish.”

“Ouch,” You chuckled before playfully slapping his wrists away.

“You don’t have to worry about them.” He said, wrapping his arms around you. “They make you who you are.”

“That’s very cheesy, babe,” You said while chuckling.

“Y/N, you don’t have to change because other people wants you to.” He replied, more serious this time. “I’ll make sure you believe that you’re the prettiest girl that I’ve ever seen.”

 --

You were stuck with a question on your Physics quiz. You hadn’t eaten anything since you woke up. While you were standing in front of your mirror, you liked how flat your stomach was. The first show happens tomorrow night and you planned on keeping your body that way until then. The lack of food in your system resulted in your brain not working well. You spent many sleepless nights studying for Physics. Usually, you would have solved this problem in under 5 minutes but right now, you only had a minute left in your quiz and you just can’t seem to figure out what to do. On top of that, you were feeling very light-headed. The ding of your professor’s alarm struck a sharp pain from your ears to your head. You winced as you struggled to stand up. Your seatmate looked over to you, checking if you were okay but you smiled it off. You also regretted telling Jeno about your stupid diet because all he did was bug you if you ate already.

jenobear [11:34 am]: babeee, did u eat already??

jenobear [11:34 am]: oops i forgot u have ur quiz. good luck, love <333

jenobear [11:35 am]: make sure u eat, ok?? I love you.

You sighed and typed out an answer. You said you already ate. You hated lying to him but him being overseas made it easier for you somehow. The night of the show came at last. You sat backstage as Olivia helped you with your hair.

“You look pale. Are you okay?” She asked, concerned.

“Yeah, just a bit light-headed.” You replied. “It’s not like I haven’t performed with a headache before.”

“Okay, sure,” She sighed. She knew you too well. You didn’t like to be bugged with questions, especially if you’re preparing for a show. “Wanna eat at that new wings place? Heard it’s really good.”

“Sure, I could need some wings after the show.” You replied. All you needed was to be in shape for a few hours.

The crowd roared their applause as you, and the other casts, bowed as the show reached its end. You felt a migraine creep up your head and you knew its because you haven’t consumed as much food as you needed to lately. It also felt weird that it made you a bit nauseous when your eyes met the spotlight. You were glad bottles of water is all around the backstage. You picked up your phone and smiled to see messages from Jeno and the other members as well.

jenobear [9:30 pm]: never not proud of you. congrats on your show, love. <3

Lee Haechan [9:45 pm]: Y/N!!! Congrats on your show. I’m sure it’s amazing!

Kim Doyoung [9:50 pm]: Sorry I wasn’t able to go, Y/N. I’m sure you did great tonight, Regina George :)

You smiled and thanked them. You decided you wanted to call Jeno but a notification from a social media site distracted you. One of Jeno’s fans came to see the show and posted pictures of you with the caption “Y/N is very talented! I hope to see more of her shows soon~~” You blushed at the compliment. You know you shouldn’t have but you looked at the replies under the post. Your heart fluttered at the sweet compliments. You thought maybe dating an idol isn’t so bad after all. Over the sea of praise come a harsh comment that caught your eye. “I’m sure her vocals are amazing but she should work on her body.” , “Regina George wouldn’t have a match stick figure.” , “she’s kinda bloated. If only she worked on her love handles, I would like her.” You felt a sickly feeling to your stomach. You took each and every word to heart. You scrolled back up to look at the picture the original poster took. You zoomed in on your body and saw what they were talking about. The girls who played Gretchen and Karen, your character’s fellow mean girls, had Barbie doll bodies. Their curves hit at the right places and they had slim legs. You knew that you shouldn’t let this affect you. You have talent, you have personality. But, you also wanted Jeno’s fans to like you. That led you to texting Olivia to cancel your chicken wings plan.

 --

You prepped yourself to see Jeno again after 2 months. He had schedule after schedule and his team went overseas for at least 2 weeks. You limit your diet to soy milk and water. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you could see the changes. Jeno would definitely notice as well but, you liked how you looked. Your jawline was prominent, your waist was thinner, and even your legs got slimmer. It wasn’t easy slipping out of Olivia’s invites for take out and dinner but you managed, somehow. You started to notice how concerned she got each day, especially this morning.

“I grabbed you breakfast, it’s an omurice.” she said, with a warm smile.

“I can’t eat rice, I’m watching my weight.” You said, slurping down the soy milk.

“Since when did you care about your weight?” She asked.

“Since I realized that my body wasn’t in the right shape.” You made sure none of the words came out as bitter or else, she will suspect something was wrong. She didn’t stop bugging you and it started to make you cranky so you just gave in. After consuming the omurice, you couldn’t deny that you felt better. But the guilt started kicking in and the next thing you know, you’re sticking two fingers down your throat in an attempt to vomit what you just consumed. You stared at the mess on the sink and that’s when you knew something was wrong.

 --

“I missed you so much,” Jeno said, as he held you close to his body.

“How are you, my favorite boy?” You stared lovingly to his eyes.

“A bit tired,” He said, taking off his cap and fixing his hair. “But I slept the whole flight.”

“Do you want to just chill here?” You asked. Everyone in the door went to see a movie with the older members. Jeno and Jisung chose to stay behind since they had plans. He snuggled closer to your body. He noticed how your body didn’t feel familiar. He could definitely tell that you were losing weight.

“I am a bit hungry though,” He responded. He wanted to see you eat. It worried him to the core about thin you were looking lately. It wasn’t obvious when you two would FaceTime but it was more apparent in person. He felt you shift slightly at his response. He spoke before you could. “Have you been trying to lose weight?”

“I just wanted to be more fit.” You said, your heart beating faster each time you lie. “I’m working out.”

As someone who works out to maintain his body, Jeno knew well that your body wasn’t a result of working out. But as someone who cares about their appearance, Jeno also knew that he shouldn’t jump into major conclusions yet. He knew how horrible the talk about weight is and he didn’t want to put you through it. Besides, he knew you and he knows that you wouldn’t lie to him.

You felt conflicted as you noticed that Jeno was becoming concerned about how thin you got. To make him believe that you were well, you agreed in eating take-out with him for lunch. You know what to do after, anyway. As you wait for him to finish showering, you decided to check your social media accounts. You tapped on instagram to replied to a comment Olivia wrote on your new post. You laughed silently at how your friends gave funny compliments. Your eyes browsed through the comment sections. Normally, it would be filled with comments about your face, body, and how you didn’t deserve Jeno. This time, it was filled with compliments about how great you look. “I wish I had her body :(“, “Body goals oh my god”, “SKINNY LEGEND QUEEN”. You felt your cheeks blush at the compliments. You realized that the thinner you got, the more you got full of praise. You intend to keep it that way.

 --

Jeno scrolled through his twitter feed and saw an article from a k-pop news page. It was an article about your drastic weight loss. He looked at the pictures included in the article. There were pictures of you from months ago with your old body. Jeno reminisced the first time you met. You looked healthy and happy. You didn’t have the curviest figure, but you were healthy. Following the old pictures were recent pictures of you, both from your recent social media posts and pictures from fans during your latest theatre shows. Your ribs were more prominent and it created a tidal wave of concern to wash over Jeno. He didn’t realize how much he missed the old you. The one who was never scared to try different food. Now, it was like every time he asked you to eat with him, you always refuse. But, he was too kind to base a fight over your appearance.

 --

You sat across the couch with Olivia. You two decided to watch the latest season of The Office.

“Wait, let me use the bathroom for a while” She announced. While she did her business, a phone on the coffee table in front of you lit up. Your phone was laid beside hers so you looked over to see it was her phone that had the notification. What you didn’t expect was who sent her the message.

You have one new message from Lee Jeno.

You didn’t know what to think. It would be immature of you to accuse them of being unfaithful when you don’t know what the message contained. But why would she text him? Why would he text her? As in on cue, Olivia came back from the bathroom.

“Uhm, Liv” You started. “Why are you texting Jeno?”

She stared at you. She knew what you would think but she promised Jeno she wouldn’t tell you about what they were talking about.

“Oh, you know what?” You said suddenly. “It doesn’t matter. You two can be friends and I trust both of you.” You tried so hard not to sound jealous because you weren’t. Olivia is like a sister to you.

You knew well that she wouldn’t betray you like that. She smiled slightly and offered you the popcorn. You shook your head and she snapped.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Y/N” She said. You were caught off guard by her outburst. “You wanna know why I’m texting Jeno?”

You gulped, maybe you don’t want to know why. You changed so much of yourself to please him, his fans, and his management. If they betrayed you like this, you wouldn’t know what to do.

“You’re starving yourself, haven’t you?” She asked, her eyes burning holes into your skull.

“I-I’m not…” You stuttered. You thought you were good at lying but apparently, you’re not.

“Really?” She said. “Ever since you started dating Jeno, all you cared about was your weight. We don’t eat out anymore. We don’t cook anymore. What bothered you? Is it him? Is it the fans?”

You know you could never blame anyone, but yourself. It wasn’t their fault you turned out this way. It was one thing to hear about your weight loss from concerned fans, but it was another when it’s coming out of your best friend’s mouth. You didn’t realize that tears were falling out. The moment Olivia wrapped her arms around you, everything collapsed. All the pressure, the frustration that built up inside of you for so long. The urge of wanting to eat, to feel what it was like to taste again. The anger you felt for yourself for letting it become this bad. It all collapsed and fell from your eyes.

 --

“Here, there isn’t a lot of sugar in that,” Jeno offered you some cookies. You decided to visit him in the recording studio. You were doing so well. You decided to enrol yourself in a support group, as well, and you’ve never missed a single meeting. But you knew you were only forcing it. You saw Olivia and Jeno cry over your situation. It was unfair that you bring them into your mess. Maybe if you say you’re fine loud enough, you’ll believe it.

“I’m proud of you.” His eyes sparkled as he said those word to you.

“I love you.” You responded, before leaning in for his lips.

It took everything in Jeno to let you know how much he loves you. By the way his lips merge with yours and how his hands worshiped every crevice of your body. Each touch symbolizes that you are the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. You knew that; but, you wish you could believe it. With every praise that heat your cheeks, comes a wave of hate that consumes it all. Will a beautiful body make it all better for you?  

You hurried to your bathroom the second you got home. Olivia was out to her boyfriend’s night, leaving you alone with your habits. As your fingers hit the spot on your throat, you felt the hot bile rise from your stomach. It burned and left a sour taste to the back of your mouth; and you loved it. You missed the sensation of your stomach being empty. You never knew how much you liked the feeling of being empty until you felt it again.

 --

“Am I not enough for you” Jeno spoke, his eyes attached to his hands that are clasped in front of him.

“What are you saying, babe?” You asked. You tried to see where this was going. You made you sure every lie that came out of your mouth was believable; why is he saying those things?

“I try so hard to make sure everything I do for you is enough,” He said. It was obvious in his demeanor that he was tired. “I worry about you all the time. The members try so hard to cover up for me every time I needed to tend to you.”

You chuckled, “So what is this? You’re telling me I’m a pity party?”

“No,” He shook his head, not believing the attitude you’re giving him. Frustration was starting to let itself be known on his features. “What else could you possibly want? I give you love, I give you space. I get tired as well, you know.”

That’s when it dawned on you. Love is not enough. Love won’t come magically and heal everything. Jeno could give you all the love in the world but it won’t be the remedy. Love doesn’t fix everything. You can’t just go up to a broken person and expect romance would suddenly want them to dance on their grave. It doesn’t work that way. You never had the courage to tell him that. In retrospect, you wish you had it in you to say it.

“You’re enough for me, Jeno.” You said quitely. You didn’t know what else to say. All this time, you never blamed him. But here he is now, throwing it all back at you. You still won’t blame him though, he doesn’t know what it feels like; you’re glad he doesn’t know how it feels like.

“I don’t know how to help you if you can’t help yourself.” He said, sighing as if he has given up. Maybe he has given up. The people who left you before has taught you to swallow every plead to make them stay. That’s the only think you could stomach to swallow right now - the words to make him fight a little longer. You didn’t know how much long it would be for you to be okay, or if you could actually be okay. But, you knew better than to run after others when you can’t even stand for yourself. Some nights, you feel yourself drown in cold sweat. Your body felt like it could give up on you any minute. You laid still and wait; but it never came. You wondered how much longer.

Jeno has a bright future ahead of him. The news of him being single again gave him new schedules that would give him exposure to different opportunities. He didn’t regret leaving. He still occasionally see your musical shows just to check how you are. You will never know this but he hopes it’s always sunny wherever you are.

a/n: i hope you liked this. this hit close to home. i would like to remind you that if you are experiencing symptoms of any mental illness, please check with a professional. mental health is a topic that i hold deeply in my heart since i have experience from mental illnesses. i would also like to remind everyone to always be kind to others - whether it would be our friends, people we don’t like, and even idols. let’s not contribute to anything that could affect them negatively. as always, feedback and requests are always appreciated. love u all <33

[dontgotothenetherworld]

ap psychology

anonymous asked:  Can I request readers putting all her studying off till the week before AP exams and she starts studying an unhealthy amount, like sometimes forgetting to eat all day because of it and even made herself sick from stress over it but reader refuses to complain because she did it to herself and Lydia's just there helping her review and making sure she takes time to care for herself ect? Bonus if Reader thinks she did bad and Lydia assuring her she did fine and has an 'i told you don't moment? 

anonymous asked: Totally didn't request that bc that's my situation-

for some reason when i tried to queue this w/ the original ask, tumblr wanted to put the cut in the ask and i couldn’t delete it

this is out of date now, but i was uninspired to write for a hella long time sorry. also! i’m going to draw from my experiences w/ ap this year, and the only ap exam i had to take was psych, so that’s also going to be the case for reader :)

also, i feel like my lydia is a bit out of character? idk it’ll probably take a while to get back to the way i used to write her.

1303 words

cw: femreader. food

you cursed under your breath. months ago, months! you told yourself you would start studying for your ap exam. you only had the one exam to study for, so you told yourself that if you just did a little bit everyday, you would be fine.

but here you were, about three days until your ap psychology exam, and you hadn’t studied any of it. you had hardly even watched the videos your teacher had posted as the digital learning content. but to be fair, the stuff he was talking about in them were the last unit or two of psych, and you wouldn’t have to worry about them, because you weren’t going to be tested on them.

you groaned and dragged your feet downstairs, to where you hid your backpack. the friday weeks ago, when your school told everyone that classes would go digital for a few weeks because of the coronavirus, your teacher had come prepared. he gave everyone that showed up to class, which, granted, wasn’t that many but still- a huge packet covering everything that you had studied this year. it was some forty pages long.

okay, it was, like, thirty five because you crossed out the pages about personality and disorders. which was a shame, because those are the units that everyone takes psychology to learn about. no one goes, “oh boy, i can’t wait to learn about how to test if a baby has depth perception!” or “i can’t wait to learn about all the different types of visual illusions!” but whatever.

you flipped to page thirty five, to see how many questions you were in for. just over 250, except that’s counting all the charts as individual questions. yeah, that makes sense. one and a half pages of listing what researchers discovered what is equivalent to answering which cortex of the brain processes visual stimuli.

wait a minute. lydia was also taking psych. studying sucks, but if you could do it with your girlfriend, that’d be so much less painful.

you texted her, “hey lyds, have u finished the psych packet yet?”

”yea i finished it yesterday, why?” she texted back almost immediately.

shit. looks like you’ll have to suffer through this alone. “nvm”

you looked at the time, 1:46. damn, already? it felt like you had only just woken up. you made yourself a coffee, and set up shop on the desk you have never used in your bedroom, with laptop open beside you. you planned on googling everything, rather than going through your notes, mostly because you forgot where you put them, but this would still take ages.

an hour passed, and you felt like you were dying on the inside. if you had to answer one more question about behavioral psych, you were going to scream. behavioral psych is by far the worst part of psychology! watson and skinner be damned! people are people not some computer code! people have feelings! you can’t just ignore them! and the feeling you were feeling right now was not a good one!

you wanted to stop, but you weren’t sure if you stopped now if you’d be able to finish the packet. so you kept on going.

you went another five hours, taking five minute tik tok breaks every hour to keep you sane. you looked at the clock, and realized you hadn’t eaten anything today. you grabbed a box of cheez-its and made your way back upstairs, and went back to work. this time, you ate a cheez-it every time you finished a question, or you filled out a row in a chart.

you didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the morning with about half the packet filled out. considering the exam was in one day, and four-ish hours, you thought that was good.

as you made your morning coffee, you checked the messages lydia had sent you. “are you doing okay? normally we talk a lot but…” “wait, are you working on the study guide?” “y/n! please take breaks! remember! you need food!” “and water!”

you sent back, “if i eat my cheez-its, and i drink my coffee while i study, then i don’t have to take breaks.”

you went back to your desk, and plugged your phone in across the room so you wouldn’t be distracted. but also because you forgot to charge it before you passed out, so it was at three percent, because apparently you had kept it open to tik tok all night, and the video just kept looping. oops.

for a while, the studying seemed easier. you felt like you had less to do, and you didn’t need to worry about getting it done in time, because you had more than enough of it. but because you didn’t need to rush, you became more productive.

you finished the second half of the packet by six that evening. you do admit, you got a bit lazy in the last few pages, but it was done!

shit. studying isn’t just writing stuff down, you have to read it over, right? you don’t really study that much.

but you decided to take an hour or two’s break for… breakfast? dinner? maybe even lunch? whatever, leftover pizza, because you had just only now just realized the intense rumbling in your stomach.

you checked your phone for the first time in hours. you were actually kind of proud of yourself. you usually were on your phone every waking hour, which was probably a problem, but you had shown enormous restraint… by spending every waking hour staring at your laptop. it’s all about choosing your battles.

you quickly dismissed some twitter notifications before tapping on a new message from lydia. “babe, i’m getting really worried about you, please call me when you see this.” you furrowed your brows. worried? about you? why?

you called lydia, and she picked up nearly immediately.

”y/n!” she gasped with relief, “don’t do that to me again!”

you felt stupid for wondering what she was talking about, but you kind of needed to know, “what do you mean?”

”you’ve been offline for hours, and i couldn’t get to you! and then when i heard what you were eating, that got me worried. have you eaten today?”

”three slices of pizza right now.” you swallowed a bite.

”is that your first meal today?”

”unless you count coffee, yeah. i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise. speaking of tomorrow, we’ve got the psych exam, and i need to keep studying. i’ll call after the exam, so like three?”

”y/n.”

”yeah?”

”you do realize this exam is online, right? and at home?”

”uh, yeah.” you swallowed.

”and you have both a laptop and a phone?”

”lydia, what are you saying?” cheating. she was definitely talking about cheating.

”i’m saying, that you don’t really need to know the definitions, because our dear old pal google can be there to help you out with those. and you’re smart, so i assume you know the concepts.”

”you think very highly, of me, my dear.” you took another bite of pizza. “so, what you’re saying is, i wasted two days studying?”

”yes, that is exactly what i’m saying.”

”shit. wait, why were you studying?”

”ugh, because i am nowhere near as good as you at being able to understand things.”

”you know, definitions explain the concept too.”

”what are you saying?” asked lydia.

”i think we’ve both wasted a lot of time studying when we didn’t need to.”

”fuck.” lydia breathed.

”yeah, we’re both idiots. do you wanna watch something on netflix? you haven’t finished parks and rec yet, right?”

”no, i just finished an episode before you called me.”

”which one?”

”season four, episode seven.”

”wait, is the next episode smallest park? we need to watch that, like, now.”

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi @book--butterfly

[theosymphany]

The Canary

A short fic as Chris and Piers discusses more mundane matters as Piers settles in his team. One shot. Early days Nivanfield.

It was 1358. The new lieutenant to Alpha team had planned it to the minute. He had his lunch early, went over the notes he had made, reviewed the things he had on file and mentally went through every last conversation he’s had with the team and of course, his Captain. He checked over himself at the mirror too. Captain is relaxed on grooming standards, but his first lesson from meeting Chris was ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’

He took the longer route to the Captain’s office, not out of habit, but because there’s less chance he’ll be interrupted or run into someone. He wanted to be on time, and have his thoughts where he needed them.

He set off on a purposeful, brisk pace, folder of reports in hand, taking long, measured strides that pass off as confident and looking busy and important enough. Hazel eyes scanned around the perimeters for any unplanned incursions, but he knows deep down he needn’t worry. Staying hidden is his specialty he had mastered, in plain sight, if needed. That said though, he hadn’t been fully able to dodge the spotlight since his time at the BSAA. Being second to the legendary Chris Redfield, afterall, is a high profile role, and the Captain himself isn’t quite a man of subtlety.

He knew as he arrived that the clock had just ticked over to 1400. Captain’s door would usually be open, but he would give four unhurried but confident taps should it be closed. Has he got anything? Should he have brought a treat? Food can be an icebreaker, though the Captain must have a pretty strict diet regime to maintain his bulk…

Focus Piers. He told himself as he banished all irrelevant thoughts.

He could see now that the door was open, letting some rays of the afternoon sun into the otherwise slightly gloomy office. The captain sat at his desk, clawing his mouse, his thick brows furrowed just a little to bring out a few creases. This could be bad.

“Capt-“

“Ah Piers.” Relief fell off the Captain’s face, the five o’clock shadow that usually forms by lunchtime had made him look slightly broody, but the smile was genuine. “Come. Pull up a chair.” He cocked his head to the guest chair beside him.

Piers nodded lightly. All his others commanders usually sat him across the table where they’d have feet up and arms back, as if to silently scream how important they are. Their desks though, usually afforded such luxuries, and the space for it.

Captain Chris Redfield’s desk would be, as his mother would call it, ‘a perennially rueful mess’ bereft of military rigour, but Piers had learnt by day two on base that Captain Redfield sets the rules. Or rather, breaks them at convenience for himself. Piers may never have to worry about an inspection, but also means he’s in that uncomfortable position managing what the enlisted men would consider ‘double standards’.

Regardless, he sat, back straight and attentive, being more than a little pleased that he’s so close to the Captain he could feel the heat radiating off his body.

“It’s our catch up isn’t it. Sorry, I didn’t prepare anything. Uh, did you send- no you must have, I know you would, sorry I didn’t read it, I just…”

Piers nodded and shrugged. Yes, he’d written a short one-page update just in case and emailed through but yet again Chris hasn’t read it, but that’s OK because he’d practiced the verbal brief anyway and knew he preferred that.

“Did you want the two-minute version?”

“Yep, go on- uh wait, oh, that’s right, I was looking at this when you came in. Can I get your thoughts on this first?”

Chris pulled up the email. As he did Piers glanced at the (8709) unread tag and flinched, but told himself to focus.

It was one of those reports, cc’ed for comment by all the team leaders. There must be thousands of those going around.

“Hmm. May I skim the report?” Piers asked.

Chris alt-tabbed and Piers glanced at the page count. Less than fifty. He let out the breath he held in. Trying not to lean in too close to Chris, he scrolled through with the keyboard, looked at the summary and the body, and then the conclusion.

“I think it’s bad, but not quite sure how bad.” Chris said, scratching his head.

“This got drafted by some ivory tower academic who never had a semblance of normal life.”

“How did it get that far then, command can’t actually be that serious about this shit?”

“Well you see when you brand yourself a ‘consultant’, whatever BS they sprout will suddenly became great gems of transformative wisdom that’s it a crime against the state to realise such theoretical gains and crafted rhetoric into action. The good thing is, however, at least it doesn’t read like there’s someone’s self interests in the way…”

“You got a plan of attack?”

“Whatever you do don’t let it be a recommendation. I’m sure every commander out there is fuming about this stuff. I’ll work up some comments on the template in uh, your style and let you review them, but you should go chew the fat with others and draw out their views, and put in a coordinate effort.”

“Mmmh, I like that approach. I can chat to Crosby and K-face. It’s the same crap that keeps going round.”

“So, that brief of yours. Anything important? Do you need me to get money again?”

“No. Nothing of the sort. We could use all kinds of upgrades, but we can’t ask for them willy-nilly, it must be thought out, strategic, have the whole cost, risk benefit balance neatly summed up—”

Chris threw his hands up in defence. “OK, OK, I’m just asking. You work out the details and brief me on what to tell our accounts man. How’s the team?”

“Overall we’re going to be fine. Our teams are much smaller than we used to manage, I’m still getting to know them of course, but they’re willing, have a good attitude and there’s a lot we can cover.”

“I mean, they’re no special forces but miles above army grunts fresh from boot. They’re here because they want to be, and that counts more than anyone realises.”

“Just what I wanted to hear. And how are you?”

“Me? Oh, uh. I’m doing alright. I guess.”

Piers was caught off guard. He’d prepared the brief about everything Chris could ask him about and left out himself. He never thought about himself. As in what Chris would want him to say about himself. Is it like a job interview? Does he stay professional or let out snippets of truth and emotion? No. He never thought about the fact that Chris would ask him about himself. This is the military. No one is your care bear. They want you to get the job done and not cause any problems. Don’t be smart and don’t be stupid. Conform.

“Well you’re doing a damn fine job.” Chris said, clapping a big hand to Piers’ shoulder. “Knew I’d pick the right man.” He grinned a somewhat boyish grin and gave the shoulder a squeeze.

Pier grinned to himself. Chris was a touchy man and he’d be damned if he ever forgot a moment where they connected physically.

“Oh. Another thing.” The squeeze turned to a slap on his shoulder. “What is this writing comments in ‘my style’ that you spoke of?”

Piers blinked. Oops.

“Uh, have you ever hear of ghost writers, Captain?”

“Uh, like the movie with the team with gear battling paranormal lifeforms?” Chris said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Sounds a bit like us, really.”

“Almost, except they fight with words. A ghost writer is like someone who writes for someone else. Like a speech writer, official emails and all.”

Piers feels nervous as Chris stroked his 5’o clock shadow and appraised him intently with his warm brown eyes. He thought about the 8000 unread emails and swallowed.

“Uh, I’m kinda terrible at it, but given the timeframes of the response I might just jot some notes and you can review them so it sounds like it comes from a seasoned… captain and not some fresh-faced rookie from West Point?”

“Seasoned huh?” Chris chuckled. “Medium with a hint of garlic, salt and pepper.”

Piers licked his lips.

“Well, I’ll leave it to you. Forget the style. The key thing is to shoot this thing down before it ever gets off the ground.”

“Yes Sir!” Piers was already plotting in his head. He still needs to write like Chris would, but not as Chris would, but how command would want Chris to, striking that fine balance between authority, reason and a hint of the non-conformant leanings the Captain is known for.

“I know who I picked. You’re not a spring chicken Nivans, even if you look like you belong on a recruitment poster. I see a bright future in you, ghostbusting or zombie busting or writing or whatever else. You’ve got a good package. Of skills and, uh that word…. Aptitude, attitude? Those things. Keep it up.”

“I will, Captain. Thank you, Captain.”

“I’ll send you the docs, no hurry, but if you get it in before 1700 I know there’s a steakhouse you might like.”

Piers raised his eyebrows. Chris is more than his match.

“Right away sir.”

Chris’s eyes followed Piers out of his office, with the golden rays of the sun on his back. He sighed in relief, pressing send on the email. He looked at the other 8000 unread emails, and the pile of reports awaiting read through, and he grinned like a cat who ate the canary.

[wxyvision]

Dear First Love {2/4}

Genre: angst, fluff?

Word count: 1,935

Part one here

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Dear first love,

I don’t know what I was expecting. I was, of course, hoping that you would be there to see the performance, but I also can’t expect you to be there. You were probably busy practicing, right? Or perhaps you just didn’t want to come, which is fine too! You didn’t have to. I think it went well! I think Guanheng and Mark got some good photos of it if you wanted to see them. Many people said that they enjoyed the performance, or at least that’s what the boys said, they may have been just hyping it up for me though! How was your week? I imagine it was tiring, no? It looked like you had bags under your eyes at lunch. Please rest well, my little chicken wing. You worry me when you don’t look after yourself! I enjoyed spending time with you and some of the boys, though. You waved at me so cutely, I thought my heart would burst. Ahh, our friends would never let me live it down if they knew I wrote such cheesy words for you. I really mean it, though. What were you doing smiling at me so brightly? Is it your intention to kill me off? Especially when I continue to “protect” you from everyone’s affection. I wonder if you’ll be at Donghyuk’s birthday party next Friday, I assume so. To be honest, me and him aren’t even that close and I was invited, so I can only assume you will be too. If not, I will invite you! You can eat some more delicious cake and play some more games, although if any kissing comes up, I think I will sit those games out after last time. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, I just don’t want to make things weird between us. I hope maybe you'll be there?

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

The past couple of months have been crazy, haven’t they? Did you enjoy Donghyuk’s party? I was so anxious about inviting you, but you told me that you’d already been invited anyway. Oops! I think the both of us ate a lot, there were a lot of tasty snacks, after all. I’m glad that we got to speak a lot at the party, it was good to talk more to you and to ge to know one another more. I hope that we will only get closer as the months pass. At least no one had to kiss each other, although Donghyuk did dare Johnny to lick the carpet. At least Kun was there to stop him from actually doing it, who knows what bacteria is on that boy’s floor! You really didn’t have to come with Mark when he walked me back home.. but I’m glad you did. Even if it was a little awkward because I was trying so hard not to smile too much at you, I’m glad. Can you believe that it’s already been a year since we first met? It feels as though we only met a month ago. How did the dance competition go, by the way? I saw a video of part of your performance, you were amazing! Even though I’d already seen you dance before, I was still blown away by your talent. I bet you did really well. I do wish I could have been there watching and cheering you on, but I was too nervous to ask you if I could go along. The last thing I’d want is for you to think I’m a weirdo.. Anyway, I heard that you saw the pictures from my performance. What did you think? I am slightly worried that Mark may have taken some unflattering photos of me just to embarrass me, please forget that image of me! 

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

I have to do a project with some of the boys, and I’m a little nervous because I don’t know them well but they must be good people if you’re friends with them, right? We have a couple of girls on our team that I’ve never spoken to before, too. I think they’re only there for Lucas, though, cause they keep giving him heart eyes.. but then again, so does Jungwoo! :D I also recently got to meet your friend Yangyang for the first time. Isn’t he cute?? Not quite cuter than you, though, my little chicken wing. You’re the cutest of all. Oh! How could I forget? It’s your birthday soon! I heard that it’s probably going to be a joint party for you and Yuta. I want to get you a present but I don’t know if you want one from me. Ahh, I’ll just get one anyway. It’s the sentiment that matters above anything, after all. If I don’t get invited I’ll still see you on your birthday and I’ll wish you a happy birthday! You’re another year older to no longer being a ‘little’ chicken wing hehe. I bet you’ll have lots of fun, the others really know how to throw a good party. I wish they could throw a party for mine. As much as I loved having Guanheng and Mark singing happy birthday to me in the park whilst holding a burger with a candle stuck in the middle of it, I do wish I could have spent it with you. Don’t get me wrong, I love those two, but it’s not the same. I wonder if they threw me a party, would you be there? I like to think we’ve become more comfortable with one another now, right? We’ve had many conversations by now, so that must mean something, or at least it does to me.

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

I’m not going to lie, when you came up to me after class that day and asked if I wanted to go to your party I melted. I wasn’t expecting you to invite me at all, especially not personally, but of course I was happy that you did. That means you wanted me there, right? I still feel the butterflies in my tummy just remembering the way you smiled at me. Has anyone told you you literally have the most beautiful smile ever? Because you do, and I will never get over it. I want to see you happy like that always, even if it’s not because of me. You may have noticed that I put a bit more effort into my appearance for your party, although you probably didn’t realise that I did that for you. I hoped you liked the present! I was thinking of what to get you when I remembered a conversation we had a while back. I bet you thought I forgot, but I didn't. You keep making me weak, my little chicken wing, especially when you pinched my cheek out of nowhere like that. Are you trying to kill me off again? Why do you do things like this? You’re such a meanie! Anyway, I enjoyed the party. We played many games, though again I tried to avoid an awkward scene like that one time. Although I definitely wouldn’t mind sharing another kiss with you, I also know how awkward it must have been for you. For me, my heart was racing but I hope you didn’t feel that! We got to speak a bit, too, which was good, even if it was mainly about snacks. I hope you had a really amazing birthday! I wished you happy birthday at both the party and on the actual day. Even though it was a busy day for me, I still found time for you <3

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

There’s been so many parties recently, hasn’t there? I guess that’s what you get when you hang around with so many people hehe. I really enjoyed planning Kun’s party together! I’ve been getting closer to him, too. Now I see why you like him so much (the food is one reason ;)). It was good to see some of the boys again, I haven’t spoken to them much since November. I guess that’s what happens when the holidays take over though, everyone becomes so busy it’s hard to hang out until the new year. I heard that you met up with a few of the boys to see the new year in. Did you have fun? I was busy trying to make the cake for the party and completely missed the countdown, but oh well, there’s always next year, right? Did you enjoy your holidays? I forgot to ask you at the party since you kept being pulled away every two minutes by someone wanting to talk to you. That’s just the joys of being popular I guess :P. I can’t believe I’ve only just gotten to know Kun properly and he’ll be graduating soon. That’s what you get for hanging out with the older generation, hmm? He would hate me saying that, but I’m not wrong hehe. School starts again soon so we’ll be able to talk more in person instead of just through group chats (and Mark passing on messages for me). To be honest, I was surprised when you told me that you were staying in Korea over the Christmas holiday. I thought you might have spent some time at home, but I guess you did have us here to keep you company, and to buy your favourite foods for you whenever you felt homesick. I don’t believe you’ve ever told me about your family, I’d love to know more about them, but I didn’t want to ask before in case I made you sad <3

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

We just got back from a school trip not long ago. It was fun, wasn’t it? Apart from when we thought that Jungwoo broke his arm and Mark starting screaming cause he was panicking.. That was less fun. But hey, it’s a funny story to bring up whenever any of us want to tease him. I’m glad Jungwoo’s arm wasn’t broken though. Who was in your tent again? I think they put you with Lucas, no? I think I remember you telling him to stop screaming at one point, but that may have been my tired brain making up stories again. We got to talk a little, didn’t we? It was when the others were cooking food and the two of us watched them because we didn’t want to get involved in the ‘kitchen drama’. I did love doing a commentary of our imaginary cooking show, it was fun! Maybe we should ask to go camping more often, although maybe wrap the boys in bubble wrap so no one can break anything. I was kind of hoping that the trip would be to an amusement park or something similar, but I guess that might have been pretty hectic. Let’s face it, a ‘peaceful’ camping trip was chaotic enough, imagine what things would be like at an amusement park! I would still love to go to one, though. Who would be the responsible adult, though? Perhaps papa Kun, since he is old now hehe. By the way, did you receive any gifts for Valentine’s Day? I wanted to give you these letters but I made my identity too obvious, I wouldn’t be able to face you ever again if I had given you them. That’s why I settled for something that wasn’t too obvious. Maybe one year I’ll have the courage to say these things to you, but for now, I will love you from afar.

Your little dumpling

[lilyvandersteen]

Out of the Blue: Chapter 11

Cover art: @redheadgleek​

Beta extraordinaire: @hkvoyage​

Links: AO3, FF.net 

Author’s Note:

All's well that ends well :-) Thank you for coming with me on this adventure, and please let me know what you thought of it. I love chatting with my readers :-)

Chapter 11: Isabelle’s Wedding

"And will you promise me, never to enter into such an engagement?"

 "I will make no promise of the kind."

(An excerpt from Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Blaine hadn’t been expecting any reply to his e-mail, but got a terse note back. Message received. All right, then. Moving on.

He threw himself into his work. By now, he’d pretty much become Cooper’s right hand, well-versed in the tricks of the trade, and maybe not as good at networking as his brother was, but a lot more efficient when it came to all the practical stuff.

And he liked the work. Coop did ads for all manner of things, so it never got stale, and each new contract brought fresh challenges Blaine could sink his teeth into.

Coop had carefully sounded him out over the summer to know if he considered staying on at Anderson Advertising after he graduated. “I’d give you half of the shares. We’re a good team, aren’t we, bro?”

Wow. Things were serious when Coop didn’t even call him ‘squirt’. But it was true that they worked together well, and complemented each other. So Blaine readily agreed to stay on, provided he could do other jobs on the side whenever an opportunity presented itself.

The week before his classes at NYU would start again was grueling. Long hours, clients from hell wanting to micro-manage things though they didn’t have a clue what they were doing, lots of fetching and carrying and sorting out small disasters before they could become big.

“Hamptons this weekend?” Blaine asked his brother on Friday, while locking up the warehouse.

“Sure, sounds great. Oh, but tonight, you’re on your own, ‘cause I have a date. I’ll come to the Hamptons on Saturday, all right?”

Blaine shrugged. “Fine.”

He drove to the Hamptons in Coop’s convertible, enjoying the wind in his hair. He’d been uncomfortably sweaty all day, and couldn’t wait to jump into the pool.

Once he arrived at the house, he started stripping immediately, grimacing at his sweat-soaked clothes. He hesitated for a second, and then peeled his underwear off, too.

Much better!

The Uptons next door were on a cruise anyway, according to Coop, so Blaine could do as he pleased. And that included jumping straight into the swimming pool without hunting for his speedo first. Humming happily, he strode out of the house, stopping at the parapet for a moment to soak up the sun and enjoy a soft summer breeze on his skin, and then diving into the pool.

Aah, bliss!

He’d barely done two laps when he heard someone next door, calling for ‘Kurt’. Could it be?

He swam to the side of the pool and looked into the neighbours’ garden. And yes, it was Kurt! He had his back to Blaine, but he’d recognize that quiff and that profile anywhere.

Kurt was wearing tiny yellow shorts that hugged his butt beautifully, and a T-shirt with flamingoes on it. It was the most casual outfit Blaine had ever seen him in, and it stirred feelings in him he desperately tried to squash.

He hasn’t noticed me. I should get inside and put some clothes on before I talk to him. Or I could just forget about him entirely and stay in the house until he’s gone.

Quickly, he hoisted himself out of the pool and grabbed a towel, meaning to head inside and get dressed, but his subconscious had other ideas. Before he knew it, his feet had led him into the neighbours’ garden, and he’d called out, “Kurt?”

Kurt turned around, and his mouth fell open when he took in Blaine’s state of undress.

Just when Blaine internally started berating himself, he caught a glint of heat in Kurt’s eyes, and he noticed that Kurt’s shorts had become just as snug in front as they were in the back.

Oh. Oh! I can work with that!

Blaine gave Kurt his most seductive smile and unobtrusively pulled his towel a little lower.

Kurt’s Adam’s apple jumped up, and his voice sounded high and thready when he greeted Blaine.

Blaine couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about the effect he had on Kurt, though he kept the conversation general and light.

And then there was that other voice again, and a tall and handsome guy, who looked vaguely familiar, sauntered up to them.

Suddenly, Blaine felt very underdressed and foolish again, and jealous of how Tall and Handsome moved into Kurt’s personal space as a matter of course, putting an arm around Kurt’s shoulder as he introduced himself to Blaine.

Elliott. Where have I seen him before? Oh, yes, at that very first wedding, officiating, right?

Much as he wanted to resent Elliott for barging in on his tête-à-tête with Kurt, he couldn’t, because the guy was so nice and welcoming. And apparently, a fellow NYU student, who also took Music History, albeit on Mondays, and was in Steve’s study group.

Before Blaine knew it, he’d agreed to join them for dinner, and was walking back to his own house to get dressed.

He could feel eyes following him, and with a grin, he loosened the knot of the towel, letting it fall off him entirely just before he slipped into the veranda.

Go on, take a look. You know you want to.

K&B

Dinner proved to be a noisy and informal affair. Kurt and his friends didn’t stand on ceremony. They just grabbed the take-away box with the food they wanted and dug in. Rachel didn’t stop talking for a minute, and in between bites, the others chimed in, too.

Blaine ate ravenously. He’d skipped lunch again because he’d been kept so busy, and he felt so hungry he could eat a horse.

The only one who noticed his less than dapper table manners was Kurt, who quirked an eyebrow at the sauce smeared all over his cheeks and his chin and gave him a paper towel to wipe his face clean.

Oops, totally forgot about making a good impression. Yep, Mr. Sloppy here, sorry about that…

Blaine tried to make up for it with a charming grin, and got a small smile back, which he counted as a win.

After dinner, there was singing. Blaine enjoyed the group songs, and loved jamming with Elliott, but the absolute highlight of the evening proved to be Kurt’s solo.

From the very first line of the song, Blaine was blown away by Kurt’s voice, which was clear as a bell and so pure that it brought tears to his eyes. Kurt’s performance was heartfelt and deeply moving, and Blaine felt himself falling more in love with him with every word he sang.

When it was Blaine’s turn to sing, he picked an old favourite of his, Teenage Dream. His eyes found Kurt’s, and he sang every word to him.

Kurt’s expression started out as polite interest, but his smile grew warmer and bigger with every verse, and when Dani took over from Blaine with a bluesy ditty, Kurt came towards Blaine of his own accord.

Soon, they were chatting like old friends and getting on like a house on fire, because of course Blaine had read Patty Lupone’s memoir, and of course Marion Cotillard was his favourite Vogue cover, that went without saying.

They talked until they were hoarse, and Blaine volunteered to go to the kitchen to get them both a glass of water. When he got back, Kurt had conjured up a blanket from somewhere, claiming he felt cold, and Blaine took that as an opportunity to put his arm around Kurt and cuddle in close.

Kurt shot him a thankful smile and shared the blanket with him for the rest of the evening.

Blaine was hardly aware of others being present besides themselves, having no eyes for anyone but Kurt. This was everything he’d ever wanted ever since he’d first clapped eyes on Kurt: this amazing guy noticing Blaine and liking him, and wanting to get to know him better.

When Kurt dropped his head onto Blaine’s shoulder, and started yawning, first discreetly, and then jaw-breaking yawns he couldn’t hide behind his hand anymore, Blaine knew that the polite thing to do would be to say goodnight and go home.

He threw a furtive look at the others, and found Mark grinning at him and winking.

Blaine grinned back, and shuffled around until he and Kurt were lying down instead of sitting, Kurt’s head on Blaine’s chest.

Blaine softly stroked Kurt’s hair, and Kurt nuzzled closer and made a content purring sound.

Within minutes, Kurt was out like a light. Blaine tucked the blanket in around him, and then just luxuriated in the feeling of having him so close-by and so trusting, grinning dopily at the ceiling and humming along whenever one of the others sang a song.

He didn’t fall asleep until long after everyone had gone to their respective bedrooms, feeling too jittery and hyper for his brain to slow down.

He half-woke early in the morning when Kurt got up to pee, but didn’t fully wake until a delicious smell wafted into his nostrils.

He sniffed appreciatively and opened his eyes.

Kurt was no longer with him on the sofa, but he wasn’t far away, bustling around in the kitchen. And baking, apparently. He was just taking a tray out of the oven, and the way his shorts stretched around his booty was as mouth-watering as the treats he’d made.

Blaine adjusted himself in his shorts and got up, stretching to get the kinks out of his back.

“Nice view,” said Elliott, waggling his eyebrows as he passed by Blaine on the way to the kitchen, and then “Ow!” when Dani poked him and hissed, “No hitting on other people’s boyfriends, you’ve got your own!”

Blaine beamed at being perceived as Kurt’s boyfriend. He saw everyone trickling in and grabbing cinnamon buns, so he hastened to take one too before they were all gone.

He took a big bite and closed his eyes as flavours exploded in his mouth.

His first bun was gone in mere minutes, but when he took a second, Kurt lifted it out of his hands again.

Before he could start pouting, Kurt handed it back to him, now dripping in glaze. And mmm, that made the bun ten times better still.

It must have been that level of perfection addling Blaine’s brain that made him suddenly blurt out a marriage proposal to Kurt.

Everyone took it as a joke, including Kurt, but the scary thing was that Blaine meant every word. He’d liked Kurt from the beginning, because he seemed to be the whole package: gorgeous, stylish, smart, witty, a great cook and a caring person, who went out of his way to help his friends. Last night had proved that they also had very similar tastes in music, movies and fashion, and that they shared the same views on relationships and life goals. And yes, it had taken Kurt far too long to notice Blaine, and there had been plenty of misunderstandings and road blocks on the way, but they’d established a connection now. They really clicked, just like Blaine always knew they would. It felt amazing, and Blaine never wanted to spend a day away from Kurt anymore.

Calm down, tiger! Slow and easy wins the race. You’ve made progress last night. Definite progress.

That seemed to be on Mark’s mind too when he asked what was going on between Kurt and Blaine.

If Blaine had any hopes of Kurt acknowledging this growing bond between them, they were dashed at once when Kurt brushed off the question and didn’t even look in his direction.

Quietly, Blaine excused himself and went home.

Kurt gave him some extra cinnamon buns to take with him, but he couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm about that.

Have I been misreading things again?

It was all the more confusing because Kurt smiled sunnily at him and told him to come over again that evening, and when Blaine mentioned his brother, nonchalantly said Coop could come along too, as if it didn’t matter one way or another.

The mixed signals made Blaine’s head whirl, and as soon as Cooper was awake, he discussed it with him.

“Well, I wasn’t there, so I can’t say for sure,” Coop hedged, “but there certainly seems to be something going on between you two. You know what, I’ll invite the lot of them to dinner tonight. If you’ll do the cooking. Then I can observe the two of you and tell you what I think. All right? We’ll do that. But for the record, squirt, I think you’re doing great. Just, don’t mope tonight, okay? Even if he’s being confusing, running hot and cold. Keep your cool and make sure you’re the most charming, interesting and sexy guy in the room.”

“Easy for you to say, Mr. Hottest Billionaire Under Forty.”

“Hey, you’ve got a lot going for you, squirt, and I’ve seen Kurt looking!”

Blaine sighed. “But Elliott’s going to be there too, and the guy’s this glitter rock vampire. Wears eyeliner and earrings, has plenty of tattoos. Cool factor through the roof! How can I ever compete with the likes of that?”

“Blaine.”

“Yes?”

“Who did Kurt talk to all evening last night?”

“Me.”

“That’s right. So don’t put yourself down. You have what it takes to get his attention. Make yourself so irresistible that this Elliott doesn’t even make a blip on his radar. Wear those red chinos of yours that do wonders for your butt, and DON’T gel your hair.”

Blaine saluted his brother. “Aye aye, sir.”

That evening, when Kurt and his friends arrived, they brought a spectacular dessert, and it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Kurt had made it. Was there anything he couldn’t do?

As he had promised his brother, Blaine didn’t mope, not even when Kurt sat far away from him at the table, or joined Cooper’s team to play Pictionary.

After the game, though, he took his chance to sit next to Kurt when Rachel gave up that place to go check out Cooper’s karaoke machine.

He jumped up again at once when Kurt asked if they could talk in private, and led the way into the garden.

Apparently, Kurt felt bad about misjudging Blaine, and wanted to clear the air between them so that they could start over.

Well, that was encouraging, so Blaine reassured Kurt as best he could, and then asked him to dance, right there in the garden.

He got so swept away by the romance of it all that he kissed Kurt mid-dance, and then jumped back, horrified at his lack of impulse control. Kurt didn’t seem to mind, though. He kissed Blaine right back, and they stayed in the garden until it got too cold.

Blaine walked Kurt back to the house next door, and then drew him in for one more kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kurt asked, a little breathless.

“You will. If this is not a dream I’m about to wake up from.”

Kurt’s eyes danced with mischief. “Want me to pinch you, honey?”

“I want… I want so many things. But I’d better shut up and go home before I scare you off.”

Kurt framed Blaine’s face with his hands and moved in until their foreheads touched. “Relax. I’m not easily scared. You can blurt out as many marriage proposals as you like. Fair warning, though: one of these days I might say yes. So don’t ask unless you mean it.”

Blaine huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I mean it. Marry me, Kurt?”

Kurt tapped his nose playfully. “One day, maybe. Keep asking. Good night, honey.”

Blaine was reluctant to open his eyes the following morning, convinced that it had all been a dream, but when he arrived in the kitchen, Coop was there and demanding “Deets, bro!”

Blaine blinked at him sleepily.

“You disappeared with Kurt and didn’t show up again all night. So, what happened? You didn’t elope, did you? Cause I’d have to disown you if you cheat me out of a wedding!”

Blaine filled a mug with coffee, drank deeply and then sat down at the table, helping himself to a piece of toast and buttering it. “Don’t worry, there was no elopement. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He’d added strawberry jam to the toast and eaten half of it before Coop spoke up again. “But something happened, right?”

Blaine felt the corners of his mouth tilt up of their own accord.

“Spill!”

Just then, Coop’s cell phone started ringing, and when he checked the caller ID, he laughed and answered the call at once. “Hey Kurt! You’re on speaker phone.”

“Hey Cooper! I just realized that I have your number, but not Blaine’s. I forgot to ask last night.”

Blaine made a grab for Cooper’s phone, but Coop held it out of his reach and laughed again. “Now why would you be needing my brother’s number, Mr. Hummel? What are your intentions with him?”

Blaine groaned, “Coop!”

“Oh hey, good morning, honey!” said Kurt’s chipper voice.

Coop mouthed “Honey?”, but Blaine made a throat-slash movement and gestured for him to hand the phone over. Coop didn’t, though. He put it behind his back and wagged his finger reprovingly at Blaine.

Kurt’s voice floated out of the speaker again. “To answer your question, Cooper, I was hoping to ask Blaine out on a date.”

Blaine, grinning ear to ear, jumped Coop and tried to wrestle the phone away from him. After a short struggle, he managed to grab it, and ran away. “I’ll be in my room if you need me, Coop!”

As soon as he was in his room, he said, “Good morning!”

Kurt laughed. “What did you do, steal your brother’s phone?”

“I borrowed it. Tell me more about this date, please?”

“Well, how do you feel about going for ice cream this afternoon?”

K&B

After that first date, many more followed, and for months on end, Blaine felt like he was floating on air because he was so happy.

The proposing had become their inside joke, and whether or not they were together, the last thing Blaine said or texted each day was “Marry me, Kurt?”

Kurt always answered with some kind of quip, or with a kiss, but Blaine kept hoping that one day, he’d actually say yes.

They were both extremely busy, Blaine with school and work, and Kurt with school, work and the preparations for a high profile wedding. Isabelle, his boss at Vogue dot com, was getting married, and insisted on having Kurt as her wedding planner. Seeing as it would be a high society affair, with over three hundred big name guests, Kurt was determined to make it a wedding to remember.

“If all goes well, maybe I’ll be asked to plan other weddings,” he told Blaine. “I mean, professionally. Getting paid for it and all. I’ve planned loads by now, but those were always favours to friends and family, and if anything, I spent money on them instead of earning any.”

“You’d like to do this as a job?”

Kurt nodded. “Maybe not exclusively, but I love planning events.”

Blaine discussed this with his brother, who promised to network on Kurt’s behalf at Isabelle’s wedding. Coop knew Isabelle from his modelling days, and they had several friends and acquaintances in common, so that would be a good start.

Coop took Blaine to the wedding as his plus one again, but this time around, Blaine didn’t protest. He was actually eager to go, and see his boyfriend in his element.

Thanks to Kurt’s flawless taste and planning and Isabelle actually having a decent budget to work with, every aspect of the wedding was perfect, down to the minute details. Blaine smiled to himself as he took in the overall effect.

Isabelle looked splendid in a voluminous dress and a hat that looked like a bird flying away, and the ceremony was moving.

During the reception, Blaine let Cooper flit through the crowd schmoozing, content to stay on the sidelines and observe. Only… That led to him hearing a conversation he was definitely not meant to overhear, between Kurt and Isabelle.

“I must say, Kurt, you’ve outdone yourself!”

“Thank you, thank you! And thank you so much for inviting Cooper, who’s been talking me up to everyone he knows! I’ve already had ten people ask for my business card because they want me to plan their wedding, too.”

“Oh, of course I invited Cooper. Who else would buy me a Solange Azagury-Partridge necklace as a wedding present? Everyone else has bought me boring gifts.”

“Useful, you mean,” Kurt laughed.

“To you, maybe. A necklace is far more useful to me than a set of Japanese knives. Those will just collect dust in the kitchen.”

“How tragic… Thank heavens Coop bought you something you like!”

“Hmm… So you’re in demand as a wedding planner now, huh, thanks to Cooper? I bet you’re glad now that he accepted that fake invitation of Brittany’s that forced you to organize an actual wedding!”

“Oh, that wasn’t the first time I planned a wedding. That would have been my dad marrying Carole.”

Blaine paid no attention to the rest of their talk. He’d heard enough. So that wedding HAD been fake! And Blaine HAD been right calling them out about it!

Anger swelled inside of him like a balloon, and as soon as Isabelle moved away from Kurt to talk to other guests, he grabbed Kurt’s arm.

“Oh hey, honey! What… Are you okay?”

Blaine glared at Kurt. “No, I’m not!”

Kurt’s eyebrows went up. “I know it must be boring for you, but I’m working tonight. I need to keep an eye on things, and stay here until the party’s over to make sure everything goes as planned.”

“Oh, it’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“I heard you, just now. Brittana’s wedding was fake! Exactly as I thought! And you made me feel horrible for calling them out!”

Kurt’s eyes flashed. “Well, you WERE horrible, Mr. Snob! Dissing all my hard work and calling it cheap!”

“You tricked my brother into spending a fortune!”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I doubt it even made a dent. He’s a billionaire. We gave him a party to remember in return, and he was perfectly content. The only one who was a stick-in-the-mud about it was you!”

Someone cleared their throat behind them, and they turned around.

“Father!” said Blaine. “What are you doing here?”

“Manners, boy! I was invited. So this is the twink who’s got his hooks in you? Hmm. Not a very good influence on you if he’s got you screeching like a fishwife. If you really have to pick a guy instead of a girl, why don’t you choose one with breeding? One with a pedigree instead of a mongrel. The Smythes have brought their son along. Sebastian. He’s a barrister, I believe, and he’s also chosen the gay lifestyle.”

Blaine pinched his nose and told himself to stay calm. “Nobody CHOOSES to be gay, Father.”

“Hmm. I’ll send Sebastian your way.”

Edward Anderson didn’t wait for an answer and walked away.

“Well, I’ll let you and the pedigree dog get acquainted, then,” Kurt said. “Careful, though. If he’s the guy I think it is, he’s been harassing several waiters, copping a feel and offering them money to give him a blowjob in the backroom.”

“Kurt, I’m…”

But Kurt was gone before Blaine could apologise, and when Blaine followed him, he was stopped by a tall guy with green eyes and a smirk.

“Blaine, if I’m not mistaken? I’m Sebastian Smythe. Pleasure.”

“Hi… Yes, I’m Blaine. Excuse me.”

Blaine wanted to step away from the guy and go find Kurt, but Sebastian grabbed him by the arm. “What do you say we go to the restroom and get better acquainted?”

“Uhm, no, thank you. Excuse me, I have someone to see.”

“When your father pointed you out to me, I thought, nah, not my type, but then I saw your ass and I thought, well…”

Sebastian goosed Blaine so firmly that he yelped.

A moment later, Sebastian was the one in discomfort. Kurt had come back and had taken Sebastian’s ear in a death grip, hissing, “Okay, that’s IT! Out with you!”

Kurt stalked out of the ballroom, tugging a whimpering Sebastian after him by his ear.

Kurt escorted Sebastian out of the building, only stopping at the reception desk of the venue to tell the security guard that Mr. Sebastian Smythe was on no account to be let back in.

Then he went back upstairs without even acknowledging Blaine, who had followed him and tried once again to apologise.

Uh-oh. He’s really mad.

Blaine stole back into the ballroom with his tail between his legs, standing quietly against a wall and observing again, but he no longer enjoyed it.

And then he saw his father talking to Kurt, and they both left the room. What was going on?

He debated following them out, but decided he’d done enough eaves-dropping for the day, and angered his boyfriend enough as it was.

Kurt wasn’t away for long. His face was impassive when he entered the ballroom again, and his shoulders stiff.

Edward Anderson followed a little later, his face a thundercloud. He looked around until he spotted Blaine, and headed straight to him.

“I forbid you to marry him. Understand? I will cut you off without a cent!”

Blaine raised his eyebrows. “Haven’t you done that already when I went to college?”

His father’s face turned puce. “You…”

“Yes?”

“There’s no arguing with either of you, is there? Stubborn fools! I offered the twink up to four million dollars to stay away from you, but he said no.”

Blaine smiled thinly. “We don’t need your money. I’ve enough of my own.”

His father froze. “You are NOT to marry that twink. If you do, neither your mother nor I will ever speak to you again.”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow and drawled, “That would be a terrible hardship.”

A vein on his father’s forehead swelled up to the point where it could explode any moment. “Are you mocking me? Ugh, I’m washing my hands of you. From now on, I only have one son. Goodbye.”

Blaine watched his father go.

Well, that happened… But surely, if Kurt refused Father’s offer, that means he won’t stay mad for keeps, right?

Right at that moment, he felt someone encircle his waist and hook their chin over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey.”

Blaine turned around in Kurt’s embrace and nuzzled his cheek. “I’m not. Good riddance, really. Cooper is all the family I need. And you, if you’ll have me.”

“Always. Even when you’re being a blockhead.”

Blaine beamed at Kurt. “So you’re saying yes?”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “To what question would that be?”

Blaine plucked a ring box from his inside pocket, opened it so Kurt could see the ring, went down on one knee and asked, “Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?”

Kurt pulled him up again and kissed him, then held out his hand for Blaine to put the ring on. “Yes. Yes, I will. I can plan the wedding, right?”

Blaine laughed, and then squeaked when his brother lifted up the both of them like they weighed nothing, twirled them around and boomed, “You’d better!”

When Cooper put them down again, he grinned and said, “I get to be your best man, right, Blaine? I’ve got LOTS of fun stories to share!”

Blaine groaned, and then grimaced when Kurt laughed delightedly and said, “I want to hear them all!”

Cooper clapped Kurt on the shoulder. “You will, bro-in-law! So, tell me, what do you guys want as a wedding present? Pick something fun, please!”

Kurt tilted his head to the side. “Hmm… Maybe a nice honeymoon? I’ve always wanted to visit Europe. London, of course. Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Buckingham Palace, Harrods, afternoon tea at the Ritz. Paris, to go see the Louvre and Versailles. Milan during fashion week. What do you think, honey?”

Blaine grinned. “Just the platform? Let’s do a whole Harry Potter tour! And go to Legoland!”

Cooper whooped. “Awesome! You get cracking on planning the wedding, and I’ll book you the perfect honeymoon. It’s going to be so much fun. Can I come too?”

“No!!”

THE END

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 2530 Chapter: 6/7 Summary:  An accident at work leaves Tobirama blinded while his eyes are bandaged to heal from some rather nasty burns. Too busy with his own job to play the role of caretaker, wife too pregnant to place the burden on her, Hashirama calls upon his best friend Madara to stay with them and help Tobirama out in anyway he can. Madara isn’t exactly thrilled to play babysitter but he can see an opportunity when one comes along; this may be the chance he’s always waited for.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Chapter 6

Having fingers prod at his face had never been Tobirama’s favorite thing. Not being able to see those fingers coming made it several times worse and the only reason he hadn’t swung his fist out to throw a punch on reflex was the sound of his brother’s voice in the background keeping him calm. There were still a few close calls but at least one of them had to stay calm and he had long since resigned himself to the knowledge that it would always be him.

“Everything seems to be healing very well,” a feminine voice spoke from much too close for comfort. “There’s no scarring on your face that you haven’t put there already–”

“They’re tattoos, Dr. Haruno.”

“No, they’re colorful scars. And they’re on your face. But I digress; the burns here all look like they’re healing very nicely and if you haven’t experienced any undue pain or discomfort then I have every reason to believe that your vision will come back just fine when we remove the pads.” Finally the fingers let go of him only for Tobirama to flinch violently at the sudden sound of clapping.

From the corner he heard a quiet, “Oops. Sorry Tobi.” It took effort to resist the urge to roll his still delicate eyes.

“Thank you, Dr. Haruno, you have been most kind.”

“My pleasure,” she told him. “You’re a much calmer patient than I usually have to deal with. A lot of people get rather squirmy about having their sight taken away.”

“I can’t imagine why,” he drawled. She chuckled and he used the sound to track her across the room.

The rest of his appointment was fairly short, just a few reminders to be careful about his face until they could finally remove the bandages and a couple more questions to make sure he understood what to do in the slim chance that his vision did not return as expected. When he left Dr. Haruno dryly informed him that she was waving and it lightened his mood enough to keep him from dwelling on the uncomfortable possibilities of never-ending darkness.

Clinging to Hashirama’s arm as they moved through the hospital and across the parking lot was embarrassing and awkward but it was much faster than trying to feel his own way around. The battle between his pride and his practicality had been an ongoing one for the entirety of this tiring process but it seemed in public his practicality won. Getting away from other people faster was better when he knew they were going to be staring at him no matter what he did. Not that he could blame them for staring. Who wouldn’t double-take at the sight of a man waltzing around with half his head bandaged like a Hollywood mummy?

He had feared that without being able to stare at the world going by outside the only thing to occupy him during the drive would be Hashirama’s annoying radio stations but, to his delight, he realized that it was actually that much easier to simply disappear in to his thoughts while his brother’s voice washed over him, nattering on about one of the patients he had dealt with a few days before. It wasn’t that Tobirama disliked listening to his brother or didn’t care. Rather it was that he knew patient confidentiality was very important and he knew Hashirama was expecting him not to listen and so used times like this to vent about feelings or release any pent up tension that he had been carrying around. It was therapeutic for them both, actually, since it allowed Tobirama a break from social requirements.

Madara was just serving lunch when they pulled in to the driveway. Hashirama made sure to see his brother safely in to the kitchen before scurrying up the stairs saying he wanted to fetch Mito so they could all sit together with their meals.

“Homemade pizza,” Tobirama heard their chef’s voice murmur after shuffling footsteps stopped just beside his right shoulder. Ceramic thumped gently against wood when Madara set the plate down and admitted, “I kind of flubbed the crust so use both hands or else you’ll end up wearing it, it’s not as firm as I meant it to be. I was going to make soup but I didn’t want you to knock the bowl or something.”

“We won’t have to worry about that for much longer.” After a long car ride back from the hospital Tobirama finally allowed the excitement to sink in, feeling his way along the edges of his plate until he found the crust edge of his lunch. “Doctor says everything seems to be healing just fine.”

“Is that so?” Madara hummed and the distant note in his voice had Tobirama pausing just before he took a bite.

“What, you were hoping I’d stay blind forever?” he demanded.

He sort of expected some kind of snarky response but all he heard was a low sigh just barely audible under the sound of another chair scraping away from the table. “I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

It took a lot of effort to clamp down on the instinctual snap back about putting other things in his mouth. Maybe he should stop talking to Izuna so much if the idiot was rubbing off on him enough to have him spewing unintentional innuendos. Tobirama shook the thought away with purpose and tried not to pay too much attention to the images rising up in the back of his mind. Definitely not something he should be thinking about with Madara – or anyone, really – right there in the room with him. Also not something he would have even considered thinking about before losing his sight and being forced to learn a bit more about the man. Truly a worrisome development.

They ate in silence instead of the easy conversation they had been slowly falling in to over the past couple of weeks, Tobirama using the silence to puzzle over what could have Madara's knickers in a twist this time. After what felt like much too long Hashirama finally returned with Mito, who was humming under her breath of all things, and the two of them easily picked up the conversation that had lacked in their absence. For the most part Tobirama listened with one ear, still more interested in figuring out what Madara's problem was. He did pay a little more attention when Hashirama clapped him on the back without warning and he nearly face planted in to his second slice of pizza.

“Anija!” he snarled. “I can’t fucking see yet you imbecile!”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Tobi! I’m so sorry! I don’t- I forgot!”

“Forgot my ass! Mito, get him for me!”

“With pleasure, my dear.” Mito’s dreamy voice was followed quickly with a yelp, though he hadn’t heard any sort of impact. It didn’t actually register as all that strange until he heard Madara's reaction.

Shoving his chair back with a noise of disgust, the man declared loudly, “If you’re going to be doing that sort of thing at the kitchen table I think I’ll just eat later. I seem to have lost my appetite.”

Whatever he had seen, Tobirama felt it was safer not to ask.

He also felt it was probably in his best interests to leave the table as well. Part of what had driven him to move out of such a lush home in the first place had been the sickening levels of cutesy canoodling those two got up to even when there were other people in the room. Just because he couldn’t see it didn’t mean he was comfortable sitting around and letting it happen right next to him. Following after his current conundrum seemed like a much safer option.

Madara's footsteps faltered halfway to the living room, presumably when the man noticed he was being followed, and it was the way he waited to make sure Tobirama got where he was going alright without offering unnecessary help that finally clicked all the pieces in to place. He sank in to the chair he had found all on his own mostly because gravity pulled his stunned body down on to the cushions with a little too much force. It might not be the same bee that Madara had up in his bonnet but Tobirama found himself floundering a little in the face of what he’d just realized.

Getting his sight back was all well and good but healing a little faster than everyone thought also meant that Madara would be leaving a little earlier than everyone thought – and Tobirama wasn’t ready for that.

Of course, it wasn’t like they would never see each other again. Madara would always be his brother’s best friend and despite neither of them officially living in this home they did manage to cross paths here with startling frequency. He still didn’t like it. For reasons he was not yet prepared to admit he wasn’t quite ready for Madara to leave because Madara leaving meant that everything would quickly fade back in to how they had always been. The two of them would rarely talk even on the occasions they did run in to each other and Madara would spend his energy focusing on Hashirama rather than the unwanted little brother tucked in to the background of whatever shenanigans they got up to.

It felt like a loss even though he knew he had no right to feel that way. Madara had always been and always would be Hashirama’s. Had probably been born with a photograph of Hashirama stapled to his forehead, already screaming the idiot’s name. If Mito hadn’t come along Tobirama would honestly not have been surprised to see the two of them get married someday despite their continued insistence that they only saw each other as friends.

Now here he was sticking his heart in the middle as though he hoped to belong.

“What are you doing?” he asked, frantically searching for anything to distract him from looking too closely at the places in his heart that were never meant to open up.

“I just have a few touch ups left to do on this project before I send it off to the client. There’s not much to fix and I do have until the end of next week but it never hurts to get an early start in case any new bugs crop up. They have a tendency of doing that.” Something in Madara's voice suggested his words were followed by a shrug and Tobirama wasn’t sure how he felt about knowing that without seeing it.

“Read to me,” he blurted. “I’ve got nothing else to do and I don’t want to spend my afternoon all bored. Will you…read me a book or something?”

Startled silence hung between them for a few seconds until finally Madara said, “Sure? I guess. As long as you understand that I’m going to find the most terrible, awful, crappy novel this house has to offer and probably make you sit through one of Hashirama’s romance mysteries.”

“That’s fine,” Tobirama muttered. Anything to keep the attention with him but not on him.

True to his word, Madara did actually rummage through five different bookshelves in four different rooms, all while Tobirama trailed along behind him just to listen to him crow over the hilariously bad literature and boring science or medical texts, until at last he began to laugh so hard he sounded in danger of giving himself a hernia. It took several minutes for him to calm down enough to say what he found so funny. Every time it seemed like he was about to calm down he would start reading the book summary and fly off the handle yet again.

For the first time Tobirama regretted letting his eyes pass over all the terrible books sitting around, never sure if they belonged to Mito’s secret shameful hoard or Hashirama’s utterly shameless collection. He was all but bouncing on the balls of his feet when finally Madara calmed down enough to speak properly.

“It’s – oh my god – this is the stupidest sounding shit. It’s called ‘Seduction in the Suna Desert’ and th-the little blurb on the back says ‘When a tall drink of water steps out of the desert heat like a tasty mirage, it looks like all of her problems will be solved. Until Harue realizes that she’s accidentally discovered a werewolf’s den in the least likely of places. Will she stay and be mated against her will? Or will she escape and leave behind that tall drink of water that just won’t get out of her head?’ Oh sweet lord this is such utter crap!”

“They actually read that shit?” Tobirama shook his head and despaired that he could be related in any way to two people with such awful taste. “I’m disowning them both.”

“We have to read this,” Madara declared.

“No! Find something else, I beg you, before you melt out my brain with that drivel.”

A firm hand took hold of his own and before Tobirama could properly register how warm Madara's fingers were they were pulling him around and back towards the living room. “Yes, this is happening. You were the one who wanted entertainment! Well I find the idea of making you listen to this very entertaining. Hashirama always says you should take breaks from all the science!”

He wanted to protest that taking a break was not synonymous with halving his own brain cells with dime store romances but the grip on his hand and the laughter in Madara's voice was just distracting enough that he found himself seating on what was probably the living room couch with Madara pressed up against his side a few minutes later. Luckily the opening chapter of ‘Seduction in the Suna Desert’ passed in one ear and right out through the other without a single word sticking in his mind but that was mostly because he couldn’t focus past the sounds of Madara's voice. When he wasn’t screaming the man did have an absolutely incredible voice to listen to.

Two chapters later Tobirama still wasn’t listening to the actual story, more focused on the way his narrator kept cracking up and injecting his opinions on the source material, and the longer he sat there the more he realized that he was much more screwed than he thought. Madara didn’t seem to notice that they were slowly inching closer and closer as Tobirama slid farther down in to the cushions. Or if he did notice he didn’t say anything. Whatever the case was it was better for him to stay silent on the matter so that the panic attack beside him could go on in silence as Tobirama wrestled with an unwanted truth.

It appeared that he had developed feelings for Madara, someone he had hated for many years until his sight was taken away and he was forced to look at the man in other ways. This was more than just unexpected. This was an unprecedented disaster just waiting to happen.

And only he stood to lose anything when Madara left.

[spainmozsombi]

Oh okay, Erasmus is actually cool!(10.21)

Last thursday was probably one of the most important days since I have been here. I had class at 1 pm, nothing extraordinary happened, it was actually pretty boring with some groupwork that we did not have enough time for...(I also should have had the magreb course in the evening but I skipped it).

In the evening there was a music session with the whatsapp group “erasmusicians”, we basically rented a rehearsal room for three hours and played some cool tunes (if somebody’s reading this who knows matus’ place it’s kinda the same, it’s just better and doesn’t smell like 40 years of smoking). It was interesting to experience how music can bring people together even if nobody plays the songs perfectly. On the other hand I really noticed the difference between this and how we used to play with my band, when everybody knows his part, when it’s all like a well oiled machine. Both are good in a different way. Ivan (local spanish guy who organizes these musical events) brought his electric guitar, an italian dude (David) brought his acoustic guitar, Celia (local spanish girl, also organizer) brought here electric piano, there was a drumkit, somebody had a bass guitar, and countless microphones. We played songs from Beatles, Nirvana, Gorillaz, Marilyn Manson, Foo Fighters, Arctic Monkeys and a bunch of more, the list goes on aand on. After this it was planned that we were gonna practice with Óscar separately (for the next Open Mic) but he had to cancel it so I went to get a beer with the rest of the group instead. We found a really cool tapas place that also had pool in the basement! We had a few drinks, played pool, I even played some Paramore songs with a spanish girl (a waiter was kind enough to turn down their music just so we could play). We had a good time and actually got kicked out at midnight cause the place was closing. I thought the night was gonna end here but no, we went to another place that’s basically a pool bar (if that’s even a thing)..We rented a table and played till about 2 am or so, it was proper fun! We played 2 vs 2, I was in a time with a british guy called Joe who’s from Birmingham, he’s a really nice guy! This italian dude talked me into helping to him with a course where he has to amplify instruments/somebody singing, so I will play him some songs (on his guitar) this thursday. I got home around 3 am...

On friday I was still so pumped cause of the previous night that I jumped right into learning some more spanish, started looking up how conjugation works, and thank God it doesn’t seem that ugly. In the evening I had the Magreb course. So, this course is twice a week (as all of them) on thursday there’s the lecture and on friday we should focus on the groupwork, the ted talk and essay that we gotta present in early november. For some reason we never really take the friday class very seriously, so we were mostly laughing about stupid sh1t. After that we went to get a beer and tapas, we (my groupmates, Adel, Óscar, Filip and his girl friend who came to visit him) went to a place called “Grifo y Tapas” (somebody recommanded this place to me, thanks for that!). Had some good times, laughs and whatnot. Filip had a really hard time learning my first name (I use Zsombor here, not many people knows about ‘Balint’ haha). After ordaring the first beer I noticed that Óscar and Adel are drinking something else, which looked much better than my beer (which I still don’t like, but fröccs is not a thing around here), Óscar gave me a sip and it was amazing, some syrup with wine. Or the other way. Wine with some syrup. Sweat! And the name of it is ‘Tinto de Verano’. It felt weird to be out for drinks two nights straight, but I think I’m starting to get the hang of this Erasmus vibe. 

//Intermezzo\\

I feel more and more that I have people to talk to, we are getting to know each other, I experienced a change in my attitude (from generally negative to generally positive). I had a traning back in May that was supposed to prepare me for the erasmus thing and there was a graph about how people’s mood go from “ohmygod im here, it’s so cool” to a huge drop when everything is bad and it goes back up again as one gets used to things and starts to enjoy the whole thing. Cause of previous experience abroad I was 110% sure that I was gonna experience the same thing. Well either I only had the first high point for only a few hours after landing or I didn’t have it at all, I just had a bad mood most of the time when I was alone, and now it feels like I rather see things much more positively.

On saturday I had to make a hard decision between going bouldering or going for a ride, eventually I got out for a ride, which turned out to be a great decision (on sunday the weather got much colder). Ride was good, I spent most of the time making short videos of me riding. This meant finding a good section, practicing it for a bit and then putting down my phone on a safe place and doing it again on camera. I didn’t ride that much but I really enjoyed looking for good angles and places to have the best shots (you can see the video on facebook, but I think whoever’s reading this blog you probably have already seen it). For lunch/dinner I improvised and fried some potato in a pan alongside with some broccoli and zucchini, shredded some cheese on the top...I know what you think..It felt way too healthy..But I ate it! (just finished the leftovers today).

On sunday in the morning I went bouldering again. On saturday I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt for riding, on sunday morning I had to put on actual pants, a hoodie and a jacket!...Bouldering was great, bought an pass for 8 sessions, felt much better than on wednesday, climed some new routes, did some exercises for core muscles, and, before I forget, I ran into Filip and his friend, so I had some company. I keep trying to make my sentences shorter but I just love these “barokkosmagyarkörmondatok”...In the evening there was another erasmusician session, but in a pub this time ( actually same place where we were on thursday), It was great, a killer guitar player named Jeremy from the US and a girl (I think also from the US) with a beautiful voice, who’s name I totally forgot, joined us. Oh yeah, and a british dude with a violin! He played the main riff of Sweet child O’ Mine, it was mindblowing...After playing together for an hour or so we split up into smaller groups, each with a different musical style. I ended up with Matteo and Elena from Italy and a german girl who’s name I also forgot..Oops. We were playing Oasis songs, it was so much fun! (Matteo likes to speed things up a bit so I really had to try to keep the tempo..) At the evening we played some pool again, with Joe, and David.

Today (monday) I had my economic course. The faculty of economics is up on Campus Cartuja, which is on the mountain, and I always walk up there. Even though the weather was also colder today (14-15 degrees?) but sunny, I still ended up sweaty buy the time I got up there...Course was about oligopolies and monopolies, not very interesting but the teacher still managed to make it a bit less boring! (Hats off!). We got lunch with Oliver after the class, at the canteen close to this faculty. See the pic (probably) above. We analyzed how inefficient the whole service is, they just use way too much manpower..In the afternoon I did some maintenance on the bike, managed to the evening I joined Oliver on his run. I wasn’t running, no need to worry, I still hate it, I was riding my bike. He’s prepping for a half marathon this weekend and a full marathon in early december...He’s a fanatic let me tell you that...

That’s all folks!

[trashcanmarvelfan]

Best. Job. Ever 4/12

So oops, I updated this like a week ago on AO3 but forgot to update here, so you’re getting 2 chapters again, lovelies! 

Btw, this IS completely written, I’m just editing and posting as time allows.

Summary: Reader gets a job on the set of Spider-Man: Far from Home for the 3 weeks they are shooting in New York City as what she thinks is a production assistant, but a twist of fate has her reassigned as Tom Holland’s personal assistant. As she & Tom grow close during filming, will their budding friendship turn to more or will they go their separate ways after filming concludes?

Warnings: Language, but that’s pretty much it? This is basically a PG-13 rom-com.

Word Count: 2571 for chapter 4.

Author’s Note: As this was written WAY before Spider-Man: Far from Home was released (actually before Avengers: Endgame was as well) I’ve kept plot details and which scene was being shot on what day extremely vague. Also, I’m American but tried to write Tom as British as possible, although I do think he’d try to stay(ish) in character and use as much American slang as he could while he’s still playing Peter.

Chapter-Specific Author’s Note: Ik Rent went off Broadway in like 2008 or something but I do what I want, lol.

Requests are always open!

Cross-posted at AO3.

The rest of the week continued much like the first day: Y/N would show up at Tom’s hotel room at 7:15 with coffee (fortunately-- or unfortunately, Y/N honestly wasn’t sure which-- the rest of the week Tom had always been dressed by the time Y/N knocked on his door), they would ride to set, Tom would film a few scenes, they would eat lunch, Tom would get back to filming, and then they would head back to their hotel, eating dinner together in one of their rooms (usually something Y/N would run out and pick up or have delivered to her room) and hanging out for a while before parting for the night.

Saturday night had Y/N and Tom hanging out in Y/N’s hotel room eating Chinese takeout while watching Infinity War on the hotel TV’s cable.

“DAMN IT, QUILL!” Y/N yelled at the TV as he started beating Thanos in the head with his gun, causing Mantis to lose her balance and let go of her control of Thanos’ mind. “Ugh, every freaking time.”

Tom laughed. “Yeah, that’s basically everyone’s reaction.”

Y/N blushed. “Sorry about that. I just always want to punch Quill in the face right there. They had Thanos, and he comes traipsing along and ruins their chances of getting the Gauntlet off. I mean, I get that he was upset about Gamora, and rightly so, but dang, he just single handedly caused the destruction of half the universe!”

Y/N’s and Tom’s phones chimed simultaneously.

“Looks like the shooting schedule for next week is here,” Y/N said, pulling it up on her phone. “Your call times are different for each day, and it also looks like Friday will be a long one, but hey, you at least have Saturday and Sunday off before the final week of shooting.”

They worked out times to meet up to head to the set the next week and when Y/N turned her attention back to the TV Thanos had snapped his fingers and people were already starting to turn to ash. Y/N brought her hand to her chest as Peter clung to Tony. I don’t want to go. “I can’t believe you improvised that scene, but I should’ve figured that you’d quote The Doctor.”

Tom glanced over at her. “You watch Doctor Who?”

Y/N nodded. “Just New Who, starting with Eccleston, but yeah.”

“Who’s your favorite Doctor?”

“Ten, hands down,” Y/N said with zero hesitation.

“No wonder you recognized that line.”

YN nodded. “It just kills me every time, whether it’s you or David Tennant that says it.”

They talked about Doctor Who until it started to get late. “So, what are you planning to do with your day of freedom?” Tom asked as they cleaned up from dinner.

“Oh, I’m just planning on taking it easy tomorrow,” Y/N replied. “What about you?”

“I need to study my lines for next week.”

Y/N bit her lip. “Maybe I could help you run your lines? I mean, if you want, no big deal.”

Tom grinned. “I’d like that a lot, actually.”

“Great. I’ll text you when I get up?”

“Sounds good.”

“Ok, well, I’m gonna head out. It’s getting pretty late.”

Tom walked Y/N over to the door. “‘Night, Y/N.”

“‘Night, Tom.”

The next morning Y/N texted Tom as soon as she woke up and got dressed.

Hey, I’m up and can help you go over your lines whenever you’re ready.

Tom texted back almost immediately. Give me like 5 minutes, yeah?

Ok, sure. I’ll run downstairs to pick you up something from the coffee shop then.

The three bubbles that indicated that Tom was typing popped up. Actually I’m downstairs right now getting something, so no need!

Oh! Lol Ok then.

A few minutes later Tom texted back. Ok, I’m back upstairs. Come on over.

Y/N grabbed her stuff and walked down to Tom’s room.

Tom answered the door with a grin. “Morning, Y/N,” he said, ushering her in. Y/N paused mid-way into the room when she saw coffee and pastries set out for both of them.

“I figured since you’ve been fetching breakfast for me all week and since I was getting myself something anyway the least I could do is return the favor,” Tom said.

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Y/N replied. “Thank you.”

They sat and ate then Y/N helped Tom run his lines until he was comfortable with them.  “Wow, it’s four already. I’m sure you want to relax the rest of the afternoon,” Y/N said, getting up from the couch where they had been sitting, “so I guess I’m gonna get out of your hair so you can chill.”  She turned toward the door. “Wait!” Tom exclaimed.

Y/N turned back to Tom.

Tom rubbed the back of his neck. “I, err, I have a surprise for you.”

He walked over to his dresser and pulled an envelope out of the top drawer, handing it to Y/N.

Y/N looked at him curiously as she opened it, finally pulling out the contents. Her jaw dropped. “Front row seats to Rent!?”

“You can’t come to New York and not see a Broadway play. I was hoping you’d accompany me tonight,” Tom said.

Y/N was still staring at the tickets. “How did you even know I liked Rent?”

“I, err… I overheard you singing ‘Out Tonight’ on Wednesday while you were waiting for me after the set was cleared,” Tom explained.

Y/N was still shocked. “But how did you even get these? It’s been sold out for months!”

Tom winked. “You’re not the only Rent-head around here, you know.”

“And are you sure you want me to come with you? You wouldn’t rather Z or someone else from the cast go with you?”

Tom shook his head. “I figured you’d appreciate the show as much as I do. So is that a yes?”

“Oh my gosh, YES!”  Y/N threw her arms around Tom in a massive hug. “This is so amazing! I’ve been wanting to see that play for years but never thought I’d have the chance to see it live!”

“Brilliant.” Tom beamed. “I’ll be ‘round in, say, a hour so we can have dinner beforehand? I know a great sushi restaurant in Times Square.”

“Sounds great.” Y/N turned to Tom again and gave him another hug. “You are just the absolute best, you know that? I can’t believe this -- I have to go get ready!”

Y/N ran back to her room and flew through getting ready.  She put on the nicest outfit she had brought (thank goodness she was a packrat and thought to bring a decent dress!) and hurried to do her hair and makeup.

She was applying her eyeliner in the bathroom mirror when there was a knock on her door. “Come in!” she called.  She and Tom had each gotten an extra room key and had swapped them in case of emergency, so she didn’t have to go answer the door.

Tom stuck his head in the door. “Y/N?”

“Almost ready!”

Y/N finished her makeup and stepped out of the bathroom. Tom was standing in front of Y/N’s full-length mirror and caught her reflection. A broad grin spread over his face and he turned toward her. “Y/N, you look stunning,” he breathed.

Y/N blushed. “Thank you. You look great too.”

Tom had worn a similar outfit to the one he had worn the night they went to dinner after the first day of filming, except this time he had paired an open-collar button-down shirt with his sports coat, jeans, and sneaker combo. He extended his arm. “Shall we?”

Y/N linked her arm with his. “Lead the way, Mr. Holland.”

“Viva, la vie, Bohemme!”

Y/N and Tom laughed as they stepped off the elevator.

“Oh my gosh, that was so much fun. Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be able to see Rent live and in person.” Y/N couldn’t keep the grin off of her face.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

They stopped in front of Tom’s door.  “You want to come in and watch the film version on Netflix?” he asked.

“Sure! I love the movie version. Gimmie like 5 minutes though to go change into something more comfortable?”

Tom nodded. “Ok. I’ve got snacks, so I’ll get everything set up while you change.”

“See you in a few.”

Y/N ran to her room and changed into some comfortable pants and a t-shirt, and pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks to walk down the hall in instead of putting her sneakers on.

She grabbed her keycard and headed back to Tom’s. The door had been held open by the privacy lock, so she just knocked gently and went in, disengaging the lock so the door could shut.

Tom was sitting on his bed, scrolling through Netflix. A bowl of popcorn and various movie theater-type candy was spread out next to him. His hair was wet-- he had obviously grabbed a quick shower while Y/N had been gone-- and he had changed into flannel pajamas pants and a plain white t-shirt. He looked up and grinned.

Y/N walked past him to the other side of the bed and climbed in, careful not to disturb the snacks in between them. “I see you got comfortable as well.”

Tom grinned. “Ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

As the opening credits rolled, Y/N said, “I think it's so great that most of the original Broadway cast reprised their roles for the movie.”

“Me too,” Tom agreed, grabbing a handful of popcorn.  

They watched the movie mostly in silence, occasionally grabbing some popcorn or a handful of candy, until the opening notes to Light My Candle came on. Tom turned to Y/N. What you’d forget? he mouthed.

Y/N grinned. Got a light? she responded.

Tom reached for her. I know you, you’re… you’re shivering.

It’s nothing, they turned off my heat, and I’m just a little weak on my feet… Y/N pretended to swoon towards Tom and winked.

They kept going, both really getting into character. When they arrived at the line, They say I have the best ass below 14th Street, is it true? You’re staring again! Tom blushed and was flustered when he lip-synched Roger’s line, Oh no… I mean, you do… have a nice-- Y/N thought his flustered reaction seemed actually kind of genuine but quickly chalked it up to the darkness of the room and Tom’s really good acting skills and pushed it out of her mind as she kept going.

They continued their back & forth throughout the song. They call me, they call me Mimi...Y/N lip-synched, dangling a gummy worm in front of Tom before taking a bite with a grin as the song ended.

They both burst into laughter. “Oh my gosh, that was so fun,” Tom said in between fits of laughter, leaning back against the headboard.

Y/N fell over on Tom’s shoulder, she was laughing so hard. “That. Was. AWESOME.” She wiped a few stray tears of laughter away as she straightened.

Today 4 U was just starting. Y/N nodded toward the TV. “Think you’d be able to do that?”

“Definitely not in heels, at least not without loads of practice.” Tom answered. “I’m good, but I’m not that good.”

The rest of the movie was spent lip-syncing along to a majority of the soundtrack -- during “Out Tonight” Y/N grabbed the remote and used it as a makeshift microphone while she danced around the room, much to Tom’s amusement -- and watching in somber silence during “Without You”.

Y/N did a fist pump when the opening notes of “What You Own” started playing. “This is one of my favorite songs on the entire soundtrack,” she said. “It’s so powerful, and the bro-hug at the end just melts my heart.”

Tom nodded. “It’s definitely a turning point in the film.”

As the movie wound down, the popcorn and snacks dwindled as well. Tom placed the empty popcorn bowl on the nightstand next to him as the finale started.

“My one complaint is that I really wish the alternate ending would’ve been used in the film.”

“Me too!” Y/N exclaimed. “I mean I get why it wasn’t used, but I like the play’s version of the ending where it ends just like it begins. And speaking of… I’m so embarrassed I cried when Angel came running on stage during the finale.”

Tom chuckled. “I think it’s cute-- err, I mean nice. It’s nice that you’re reactive like that. Makes an actor feel like they’re giving a believable performance.”  

“Speaking of acting…” Y/N checked her phone for the time. “It’s getting late. You better get some rest since your call time for tomorrow is early and you’re doing a lot of stunts.”

They stood and Tom walked Y/N to the door.

Y/N gave Tom a hug, and without thinking, also gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, shit, I'm so sorry about that--” she stammered, taking a step back.

“What?” Tom looked confused.

“Just now-- I really didn’t mean to kiss you. I wasn’t thinking, and I understand if you’d be upset about it--”

Tom shook his head. “Why on earth would I be upset with you?” he tried to interrupt.

“--and it was completely unprofessional, so I’d also get it if you’d want to request a different assistant--”

“Wait, wait, Y/N!” Tom cried. He took Y/N's arms in a firm but gentle grip, steadying her. “I'm sorry to keep interrupting you, but I’m not upset at all.” He let go & studied her. “Have I given you the impression at any point this week that I've been anything less than pleased with you?”

Y/N blushed. “Well, no, not really…” she mumbled. “But I thought maybe you’d think I was hitting on you or something…”

“First off, it was just a kiss on the cheek, it’s not like you threw yourself at me.  And secondly…” Tom paused. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but I kind of already consider you a friend. You’re incredibly easy to talk to, we have loads in common, and at the risk of sounding completely pompous you don’t seem to just be friendly to me because of my celebrity status or because Sony is paying you to be. I mean come on, you’ve insisted on rotating who was paying for dinner all week. You’re a genuinely nice person and I like being around you. There’s absolutely no reason to fret, okay?”

Y/N nodded. “Ok.”

Tom stood. “Now that’s settled then, yeah?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah.”

Tom reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then pulled her in for a hug. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He kissed her on the cheek, then gave her a wink.

Y/N laughed. “Goodnight, Tom. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She went in and got ready for bed. As she lay there in the darkness replaying the night in her head she suddenly realized that her feelings for Tom definitely weren’t going anywhere-- in fact they had blossomed into a full-scale crush. I am so screwed.

Tagging: @thoughstofaredhead & @greenarrowhead

[2019withhelo]

July 12:

Woke up, packed up, ate up, and then headed out. We were all so ~tired~ from camp that the drive to silver wood was very quiet. I listened to my release radar the whole time, and I kinda regretted not taking a nap half way through the day. Whatever. We got to silver wood and you could feel us buzzing with excitement. Spraying on sunscreen we discussed which ride to go on first, and agreed on our fave: the wooden one. The sun was shining but it wasn’t as hot as its been before. We head in to the park, grab out tickets, and then walked to the rides. Spontaneously, like four of us stopped at the purple/white drop ride and then did that. I was really nervous going on because it takes ALOT of adrenaline for this ride and my body just wasnt that ready for it?? My stomach dropped so much I could almost taste it, gross. Then we headed to the wooden ride and hopped on that. Sona and I in the pack thinking we were gonna have the most fun, but ended up just having the bumpier ride. It was still so so fun. We laughed and screamed and raised our hands up, because who needs to hold on to the safety bars right?. We then made our way around to the rides and went on timber terror twice. It was too much fun honestly. Just kidding. Then we went on the best ride of all: I forgot the name but it’s the green and blue one. Such an exilirating experience. I closed my eyes and screamed my lungs out the whole time, but still so fun. After that snazzy ride we headed back to that one ride with the raft thing that gets you way too wet. We waited in line for soooo long. Then we grabbed lunch and man, those chicken strips SLAPPED. After lunch we headed towards the water park, and stopped by a little kids ride. It was fun but also scary? Like there was only a bar holding us down and we were going fast. Sona and I got nervous. While we waited for the rest of the team, natalie, alex, sona, and I wandered off to the kids rides. Tell me why the frog one was way more fun than any of the other rides. We could barely fit in it and the guy kept saying “this is awkward” while trying to strap us in. We then went on a few more before Bruce tracked us down and we ended the fun :(. Jk we went to the water park. First the lazy river then all the slides. While we waited we played this leaf game alex made up, talked, gave natalie dreads, and laughed at dumb things. Before we knew it, it was time to head out. We got some ice cream before tho and it was sooooo good. Moose tracks ice cream never lets me down. The van ride back was interesting. I remember falling asleep and then jerking awake and Karen went “and i oop-“ I fell back asleep until we arrived at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. I went inside for chocolate and there were like four red necks with three teeth.

At one point I joined in on sonas conversation with bruce and Karen. It was a really deep talk. Season, whether or not to run a three middle rotation, girls who did not go to vb camp not being able to share memories and inside jokes, frustrations, what to work on individually, how we grew the past week- individually and as a team, and so much more. Shoutout to Mother Nature for giving us amazing views with the sunset. Driving through the plains at dusk hits differently. We talked all the way back home and then we got to the school before we knew it. Julia, hec, and dad picked me up and we headed home. I told them about camp and they filled me in on what they did the last week. I got home soo tired that I just showered and then fell right to sleep.

^The best ending to the best week of summer ‘19. Truly felt blessed to have been able to live such a vivid and changing week. I <3 my PSAA volleyball team.

[hitchcock-eastern-hemisphere]

Tuesday 9.21.21

I feel like it's been a week since I got here. I've walked probably 20 miles in the last three days. Let's see where to start.

Sunday morning I went to Costa's for coffee and breakfast, apparently it's a big coffee chain here. Around lunch time, I went to meet a friend K (I will shorten all names for confidentiality) from my cohort on LSE campus. I'd never been on it before!

We immediately left and walked across the bridge to Southwark (pronounced Suthark, apparently). It was drizzling and everything was pretty grey, it felt pretty enchanting in a dreary London kind of way. The whole south bank of the river around there is super built up, it feels like the Yards or the Wharf in DC near where I'm from.

We eventually ended up at Ristorante Olivelli for lunch, we both really felt like having pasta for some reason. It was a cute restaurant. We meandered around Vauxhall and then crossed the river again toward Pimlico, and we walked by Big Ben (I hope my gold production is now increased by 25% [hah, Civ 5 reference]) and Westminster Abbey. Big Ben was mostly blocked by scaffolding. Eventually, I split off and took the train back up to Tufnell Park. For dinner, I ate granola out of a whisky tumbler with a fork, so that's the type of life I'm pursuing now.

On Monday, I went to meet my friend N from the cohort at LSE campus. He had literally just arrived from NYC, and couldn't check into his hotel until later. We walked around LSE campus a bit more, and both bought some LSE clothing/etc at the school store. It's funny, a lot of the buildings are quite modern, but the way they're all tucked in together, it still feels kind of like a medieval street. Lots of cobblestone-ish roads, no real quad like I'm so used to at UChicago or Columbia (though I only spent a couple months at the latter, and I always found that campus to be not terribly welcoming).

I wanted to go to the bookstore Hatchards in Picadilly, which I thought would be a 15 minute walk. Instead, I dragged my friend on a like 40-minute march (keep in mind, this man just got off a red-eye flight to a country five timezones away from home). We made it, and I bought two books that looked related to my dissertation subject.

We were supposed to do a lot of work on that this summer and I did none, because I needed a five month break from that truly exhausting nine-month slog of virtual class and quarantine isolation. Anyway, we chilled at a Caffe Nero nearby for a while, then I left and bought a tennis racket+balls and a basketball at Lillywhites nearby. Yesterday afternoon, I bought some plants. I'll be filling my apartment with as many as possible while I'm here. Pictures soon.

Yesterday evening, I wanted to try this Ethiopiean restaurant Lalibela on Fortress Rd nearby, but I stood outside for like 20 minutes after their supposed opening time of 6, and they never flipped the closed sign to open. I also realized I was slightly under-dressed wearing only a tank top and shorts. So I walked across the street and ordered from Blue Moon Thai instead. While I was waiting, I went over to Sainsburys to buy a few things, and I think the security guard thought I was a suspicious loiterer because he followed me around most of the time I was in there.

I forget what else I did yesterday, but I went to sleep at 10-ish and actually slept through the whole night!! Which is a big deal, because the first night I woke up at 1 am and fell asleep again like an hour later. And then Monday night I woke up at 2ish and proceeded to text one of my friend, L, until like 3:45 am.

This morning, I walked over to Rustique Cafe, on Fortress Rd right near all the other things on Fortress Rd that I talk about. Inside, they have a bunch of bookshelves and all the books are for sale. And you can walk out the back and sit in a wonderful garden they have.

I also saw a cute cat walking around outside my building.

I got a cappuccino (UK cappuccinos always seem to be like 12-16oz, a traditional capp is supposed to be 8 lmao). Also, it has just become apparent to me that tumblr or Firefox spell-check does not recognize cappuccino as a word. It's 2021, boys.

Today, I might my friend K came up to Tufnell park because she was thinking about trying to get a room in my building. We walked to Workman's Cafe (where I went the first day I was here) and got lunch, which was cute. I like the vibe. When we were paying at the counter, I asked the guy if I could tip them and he stared at me for like 10 seconds. Apparently, tipping isn't really a thing here. Also, I'd been wanting to get a picture of the train tracks from the bridge near my apartment for a few days. Got it today. It makes me think of Persona.

We then walked all the way down Fortress Rd, which eventually becomes Kentish Town Road, to Camden. My best description of Camden is that it's basically like the Greenwich Village of London, with some Times Square elements on a couple blocks. Parts of it were really cool, other parts were cheapo London/Britain knick-knacks shops that looked like they belonged in wherever the equivalent of Midtown NYC is in London. We walked by this cool lock on the way.

We went to an anime store!!! that she found called Japan Craft. Manga shelves took up like half the store, and they had some posters, t-shirts, and figurines as well. And for some reason, some Harry Potter merchandise? Anyway, I didn't buy anything, but that's probably the best manga selection I've ever seen short of Kinokuni-ya in NYC, so I want to go back. And somehow, I forgot to take any pictures.

Afterwards, we walked over to this Italian Cafe to get coffee, and instead got a Rosé (K) and Peroni (me). I also had a Portuguese custard pastry. I'm too tired to remember the name of this cafe, but it was cute. We toured another apartment she's looking at near there, then I walked all the way back up to my apartment.

And immediately got changed and got on the tube back down south to LSE campus again, to meet my friend C who flew in yesterday! After a brief tour of LSE campus, I led her too on a long and partly unguided walk through Picadilly and Soho, and we eventually landed at Kissaten bubble tea shop right near Chinatown. I definitely got us lost because I wasn't looking at the map, which she was not thrilled about lol. The bubble tea was good and there were so many super flashily dressed people there. But they only had caffeinated options which is why I'm now up at 12:40 writing this, oops.

We also walked by a pub called Duke of Argyll, which is where the Scottish part of my family is from.

Afterward, we walked through Chinatown, which was absolutely enchanting. My friend C is from Shanghai, and I really like food from places all over China, so we were both excited.

We ended up sitting outside at See Woo, a dim-sum restaurant that had mapo tofu, which I name as my favorite food in the world. That's also one of the first things she and I ever talked about when we were becoming friends. We both want to learn Cantonese and she suggested we take it together.

I took the train up and got home a bit after 9. I continued my multiplayer Terraria game with my stepbrother H for a couple hours, and now I'm here. And I think I might finally be ready to go to sleep.

[sabbaticallife84]

Take me to church

My friend and I decided to not visit Prague on this trip. We went from Switzerland to Italy on the most beautiful train I have ever taken. It’s called the Bernina Express. We decided to make our Milan, Italy and our Bruges pieces of the trip longer. We found out that flying from Milan, to Prague to Bruges was expensive and difficult. We were watching the bills build up with flights, and airbnb’s, etc. So we decided to scrap Prague. Not only did we cancel Ireland and Scotland, but now also Hungary and the Czech Republic. We also canceled or changed or pivoted from countless other ideas we had over the last few weeks of planning.

Now we were in Milan. We had stayed up late last night, enjoying our new party neighborhood. Navigli. But then we got up early to see if we could get in to see the Last Supper by Da Vinci at the Santa Maria Delle Grazie. We went right when they opened their doors for the day to see if we could snag a 15 minute window. The lady at the ticket place told us it was sold out for the whole week. Too bad, we couldn’t do that. We went across the street to Le Grazie cafe. We got delicious pastries and coffee. The waiter ushered us out after we picked our pastries and said “no self serve.”. After a different guy behind the counter told us to grab our own pastries from the case. So, whatever. Then we sat there for awhile, watching the sun creeping up over the Santa Maria Della Grazie. We needed some time to re-organize our day, sans the Last Super.

We had made some alternative plans in case we couldn't make it in. One of them was to go across the street and visit the Vineyard of Leonardo. We went in there and paid our entrance fee and got this cool audio tour of the vineyard. It was like a hidden garden and vineyard in the middle of Milan. We walked around it. The self guided tour gave great detail about the people who had lived here, the wine that was made from the grapes grown here and much more. The lady who had sold us our entrance tickets had told us that one of the rules was we couldn’t walk on the grass. I totally forgot this rule as I strolled through the garden, alone on the grass. Oops! Luckily no one was around to see me. I had totally forgotten. We found out that they had studied and researched which grapes had grown in the vineyard during Da Vinci’s time. They started growing the same grapes, later, in the 1900′s. They had made wine with it. Supposedly this is the same grape and wine that Da Vinci had there in the 1400′s.

12:59: We wanted to see this other church in Milan, that was called the “Milan Sistine chapel”. It was the Saint Maurice al Monstero Maggiore Church. We walked to it and found out we needed to make online reservations to get in and see it and there were no available times that day to see it. So this was our second church we got turned away from. We actually got to see the church, Maria Della Grazie, which was large, beautiful and spell bounding. We did not get to see the Last Supper. I look at is as a sign that I need to go back to Milan someday to see the mural painting. We couldn’t get into the golden church because we were supposed to have booked online and then it was only available on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We walked around the church instead. I peaked in at different intervals. We then took the metro to the Duomo. We had to hold back from taking like fifty million more pictures of it. We both had to use a bathroom, which was a constant struggle in the countries we had visited so far. We needed the restroom alternative for Europe, like the Starbucks option in Manhattan.

We decided to eat some food up on a balcony looking out at the Duomo church. We were above one of the many museums and it was a breathtaking view of the giant cathedral.

We sat down to eat. I ordered spaghetti with clams. The sweet waiter was very disapproving of me putting parmesan cheese on my seafood pasta dish. My friend got linguini with lobster. Then the wasps came.. One wasp landed on my shells and started chewing, like the foot/anchor place of where the clam was in the shell. The wasp ate for like a minute. Who knew wasps liked seafood? Then, eventually I got up. Our sweet waiter came and took the shells away, at my request. Then I tried to eat the rest of the pasta as quickly as I could. Then two wasps came and hovered around where the shells had been. Then the waiter brought me bug spray. I put it on. This was my second application of bug spray that day, and the one before had been about an hour ago at the vineyard of Leonardo Da Vinci. Unfortunately, the wasps kept coming, even after the bug spray. It was ok, I never got stung. I was just nervous because our server said they were wasps and not bees. I have had multiple wasp stings before and it was not fun.

After we ate our lunch, we drank espresso with cookies for dessert. We received six little cookies. There were three kinds and two of each kind. There was one that was Chocolate with hazelnuts, one greenish pistachio one, and large square one with white almonds. I dipped them in my espresso, and they were delicious. Italy even excelled at making dry little sugar cookies taste delicious!

We went to two other churches that day. One was Santuario di San Bernadine alle Ossa. This church had room, sanitary that was totally covered with human bones. Apparently, they were the bones from people who had died of the plague. This church was right next to a hospital and there had been many dead. I need to do more research on the bone church, because it was astounding. Also I didn’t feel great about a church sanctuary totally adorned with human bones. The weirdness of peoples remains being moved, and used to decorate, somehow bothered me. I have heard of one other church like this, in Prague. I need to definitely look into this more. After we came out of the bone church, I tried to shake the feel of doom, and death. We went into the Basilica Di Santo Stefano right next door. This church was also darker and gloomy. It had an odd feeling to it. I may have just had residual creepiness from the bone church. I have a lot to learn about the church influence and history in Milan and really all of Italy. I have huge holes in my knowledge. But that is what this trip, this sabbatical is about. I am taking it to open my eyes, stir my wonder, and my curiosity about life again.

“I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” -Eric Roth