#also this is me lying in bed thinking about pretty women because yes!!!

[lyxchen]

Helloo I am a lesbian and like, in love with every woman ever♡

(I put a version without the "night filter" under the cut)

[munsonkitten]

cw: sexual discussions, gender dysphoria (trans Eddie Munson pov), virgin Eddie, mentions of period typical transphobia and homophobia

It comes as a bit of a surprise, when Steve comes out to Eddie as gay. Even more of a surprise when Steve follows it up with and I’m attracted to you. Eddie has to remind him, with clenched teeth, bracing for the impact of rejection, that he doesn’t have the parts Steve wants. 

“You think I care what’s in your pants, man? You’re hot, either way. I’m just saying, like, I’d fuck you,” Steve says, blowing smoke into the air in front of him. He’s sitting against the side of Eddie’s bed, hogging the joint Eddie rolled for them both. “I’m also, like, really fucking high. So forget I said all that.”

Eddie reaches over the edge of his bed and snatches the joint back before Steve can bring it to his mouth again. 

He takes a hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs while he ruminates on, well, all of that. 

“You sure you’re gay?” Eddie asks, settling on that question first. He winces as he says it, his own internal hangups taking hold of him. He knows he’s a man, there’s no doubt about that. He’s been validated to hell and back by Wayne, a bunch of older queers Wayne is friends with, and the one doctor in the state of Indiana that has shown him any kind of compassion. 

He just knows how other people are. How, despite him knowing who he is, a lot of people just see him for his cunt and his tits. Well, not like he has much of his tits left, not after the demobats performed a botched mastectomy on him and left him with one and a half breasts. The doctors that put him back together wouldn’t remove the rest. He knows that Steve could just be getting some wires crossed — yes, he could be attracted to Eddie, but Eddie has to ask if it’s really because he’s into men and sees Eddie as a man, or if… If it’s the alternative. 

“Pretty sure, man,” Steve answers. He tilts his head back over the edge of the bed and looks at Eddie, where he’s lying against his pillows. “Like, I don’t think about,” he waves vaguely at Eddie’s body, and Eddie knows he’s being careful, like he can’t just talk about him without overthinking each word. “I think about, like, how you pinned me to a wall with a bottle to my throat and I think about how you hotwired that RV. I was definitely into you during both of those things, and I had no idea about, you know.”

And that’s true. Eddie’s been hiding it pretty good since he moved to town. Buzzed his head in his bathroom the day his dad got arrested. Had a pretty good feeling his pops wasn’t coming back from this one before he even left. Usually he took Eddie along with him, but that final time he left him with a pile of change and a phone number and told him to call Wayne if he wasn’t back by the next afternoon.

Wayne took one look at him when he showed up, asked him about the buzzcut, asked him what name he was going by these days, and then took him to meet some friends. Didn’t even have time to meet any other kids before he started getting tips from an older trans man that Wayne met years back. Since then, Eddie kept his head down, his chest bound, and never uttered a sound until he got on testosterone and his voice started to deepen and crack along with all the other boys. 

“Okay, well now you do know, so,” Eddie points out. He shrugs, takes another hit and then passes the joint back down to Steve. “You’d really fuck me? Pussy and all?”

“I mean, I’ve got experience with it,” Steve says. “I just don’t like women, is all. You’re not a woman.”

Eddie doesn’t really get it. How Steve can go from Hawkins’ biggest lady killer to lounging on Eddie the freak Munson’s dingy bedroom floor saying he doesn’t like ladies at all. Steve Harrington, who, and it’s no secret, called Jonathan Byers a queer a few years ago and laughed when his slimy friends called other boys fags. Yet here he is, saying that Eddie’s a man. So much of a man that Steve says he’s gay and wants to fuck him in the same breath.

It doesn’t make any fucking sense. 

“What about you?” Steve asks. “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Fuck me,” Steve clarifies. “Want to get fucked by me. I mean, hey if you’ve got a dick laying around, I’d let you put it in me, too. I don’t think I’m picky.”

Eddie sighs, dropping his head down to his pillow. This is where it gets tricky. Yeah, he’d have sex with Steve Harrington. Who wouldn’t? But as much experience as Steve has with pussy, Eddie’s a pussy with no experience. Other than a few drunken kisses in dark clubs eighty miles from home, he’s completely terrified of putting himself out there, and honestly for good reason too. 

Being gay in this town is hard enough, but if anyone finds out he’s trans, he’s fucking done for. It was scary enough realizing Steve knows, and he didn’t even have a choice in Steve finding out. Next time he tries to die, he’s gonna make sure he gets to a hospital instead of getting his clothes cut off on Steve’s parents’ bathroom floor. 

But yeah, Steve knows, and there’s no more risk of him finding out, and that’s pretty much the main reason Eddie hasn’t had sex with anyone, so. 

“Yeah, I guess,” he answers. 

“Cool,” Steve whispers. 

And that’s it. That’s all the conversation is. 

Steve crawls into Eddie’s bed and curls up beside him like they always do when he sleeps over, and he takes the joint from Eddie to take one last hit. He reaches over Eddie to put it in the ashtray and then lays back down.

“So, um,” Eddie says. Because he’s confused. He thought Steve was coming onto him. He thought this was a precursor for Steve coming in him. 

“What’s up?” Steve asks lazily, voice catching on a yawn. 

“Well, I’m glad we established all that, but, like… Are we not going to…?”

“What? Oh, no. I’m way too high,” Steve whispers, turning his face into Eddie’s shoulder. “Another time?”

Eddie laughs because he has no idea how his life became this. 

“Sure,” Eddie agrees. “Another time.”

Steve sits up, presses a loud, smacking kiss to Eddie’s temple, and then drops his head back down. He turns his face in toward Eddie’s neck, arm finding its place around Eddie’s waist. Eddie can’t see his face, but he thinks Steve’s pleased smile might just match his own. 

Read More on AO3

[sleepsonclouds]

Clouds tropespots: The Spirealm, E06

Episode 6 (Birthday party, 2nd door)

People are… actually reading these? I'm pleasantly surprised! This is the last complete episode in the 2nd door. The egg drama continues, romantically.

Sleight of hand: Lin Qiushi unknowingly breaks his egg, which is a death condition. Nanzhu sneakily switches their eggs, hoping he'll be the target instead. So very… touching.

Propriety in the face of death: Tan Zaozao is scared and wants to share the room. Qiushi offers to sleep on the floor, but Nanzhu immediately, absolutely forbids this. Zaozao should sleep on the floor - because it's still improper for men and women to sleep in the same room! It's not at all because he wants to sleep with Qiushi.

There is only one bed (variant): It is also fine to share the bed if you're both on top of the covers and wearing clothes. Even if you're sort of gravitating towards each other. Distance between elbows: 2 cm.

Holding hands: Totally proper in the face of danger! It evolves in a beautiful sequence from a shoulder grab to mutual wrist-grabbing to what I think is off-screen hand-holding. If you don't obsessively pause the video, it looks like hand-holding, that's for sure. There's also comforting shoulder-touching to complement this. Nanzhu just can't let go.

Lying to protect partner (egg edition): Qiushi realises someone's triggered the death condition. But his egg is fine… "Whose egg is broken?!" Nanzhu, the lying liar, claims it's his.

Worrying about reckless partner: So that's why Nanzhu didn't sleep (Qiushi noticed): he thought he'd be murdered. Qiushi, understandably, would have liked to know. Nanzhu: "It was meaningless to tell you that." Oh dear. Worrying intensifies.

Someone cares about me???: Nanzhu (enjoying this): "You care that much about my life?" Luckily, frustration triggers Qiushi's logical thinking.

Shoulder-touching (lingering): Qiushi has started doing it, too. Carry on.

Plot item of innuendo, cont.: Qiushi: "Protecting our eggs is the most important thing." Didn't you tell Nanzhu off for saying about the same..?

Lying to protect partner - caught!: Qiushi realises someone's trying to kill him. And he pays A Lot of attention to eggs - this isn't his egg, his had a tiny black spot!

Worrying about partner: Nanzhu actually admits to being nervous when his attempt to switch eggs and targets fails. This is Nanzhu we're talking about.

Romantic egg exchange (I can't even): Qiushi wants to switch eggs back (though it doesn't even matter). But we get a beautiful scene where they exhange eggs in a very romantic fashion, crossing wrists and all! The camera makes sure to capture that.

Breaking eggs for your beloved: AND THEN Nanzhu, the perfect, beloved drama sprite that he is, drops his egg on purpose. "It slipped." Yes, I'm sure that's what he said. Now they're… egg-mates. Egg equals. About to be murder-killed anyway! (Nanzhu's puppy dog eyes may kill me first.)

No one has ever cared for me like this: Qiushi STILL can't fathom why Nanzhu would care about him, but he is starting to think this is a pretty extreme hiring tactic. Nanzhu: "I think you're talented, and I want to be your friend. Not everyone gets to be my friend." (Says the man who doesn't do friends.) Qiushi is wising up: "So you entered the door just to help me?" (Nanzhu totally did.)

There is a light in you: Nanzhu believes in Qiushi. "I see a light in you that others don't have." Shameless. Meta-level. Flirting. And eye-contact that just lasts forever.

Clasping hands: How is this gesture so romantic? Is it because Nanzhu's hand nearly covers Qiushi's? Is it the staring? Is it the duration? Forgetting to let go? The soft piano music? Yes.

Am I the prettiest: Nanzhu, upon realising he was the only one who slept: "So do you think my sleeping posture looks good, or does Xu Xiaocheng's look better?" Qiushi tells him they're both pretty. This is acceptable… for now.

Partners in arson: Excellent teamwork again - Nanzhu gets to do the dramatic cannibal cake reveal, while Qiushi and Zaozao light the kitchen on fire. Nanzhu also gets to throw the door god in there. Sadly, arson isn't the answer.

The conclusion to this arc and more dramatics follow in -> Episode 07

[sirianasims]

Chapter 22

A Million Dreams

The university found out, of course. They gave me my diploma, but I wasn’t allowed to attend the graduation ceremony, and I was told to move off campus immediately. I had nowhere to go but home.

My father, always the responsible one, was angry and disappointed.

No surprise there.

My mother seemed more worried about the age difference. She said that we were at very different stages in life. Katherine being 38 had never bothered me before, but maybe my mother was right. I was only 23, so it was a pretty big gap.

“We’ve given you everything, Eric. Always. Everything you wanted – and you almost threw away your entire future because you were thinking with the wrong head! I thought we raised you better than this.”

“I know, dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. And we… I thought we were being careful.”

I hid my face in my hands.

“Just… not careful enough, I guess.”

My father, of course, was thinking like a lawyer. He insisted that I should also get a paternity test.

That hit me hard. I hadn’t even considered the fact that I might not be the father either.

“Seriously, Eric, for all you know, the father could be any student on campus.”

“That’s out of line, dad! Yes, we were stupid, but Katherine is not… she’s not like that.”

My father looked at me, stone-faced.

“How certain are you, son?”

I understood what he meant. The amount of cheating and lying he’d seen as a divorce lawyer for over three decades was staggering.

“I… I guess I can’t be sure.”

Finally, my mother spoke up.

“Zane, honey, you’re being too hard on him. And her. We all make mistakes, remember? And this family wouldn’t even exist if my life – or yours – had turned out the way we originally planned.”

My father briefly glanced at the pictures behind us. I remembered hearing he’d once been engaged to someone else.

“No amount of arguing can change what happened. What we need to do is find out how we can best help our son.”

She put her hand on mine.

“And our possible grandchild.”

I let out a sob, and my mother pulled me to her, hugging me tightly.

As my mother held me, I wished I could go back to being the carefree teenager who had his life all figured out.

Was it really only a few years ago?

My room had been left untouched while I was away. It was almost like travelling back in time – almost. I could hear my parents’ voices downstairs. It reminded me of the night the Sixams came for my brother.

I wondered what Daniel would be doing now if he hadn’t gone with them. We never heard from him anymore.

My perfect brother definitely wouldn’t be going around knocking up married women, that’s for sure. But I had plenty of problems without worrying about him. How could I be so stupid? I had no idea what to do.

I used to have my entire future planned out. I had a million dreams. Some people have a 5 year plan, I had a 25 year plan. Now I felt lost and uncertain.

My father came in and sat on my bed. I quickly wiped away my tears.

He apologised for being so hard on me. He told me that he had discussed things with my mother, and they had decided to do their best to make some of my dreams come true despite everything.

Daniel was unlikely to ever return, so I was their only heir. My parents were going to cash in some of their assets and help me and Katherine get set up. He called it an early inheritance.

The numbers he mentioned were intimidating. I always knew we were pretty well off, but I had no idea how much money my parents had accumulated in investments and savings over the years.

I accepted. It wasn't like I had any other options.

beginning / previous / next

[deans-baby-momma]

Law & Love Chapter 18

After his daughter leaves, Beau sits back in his chair and runs a hand over his mouth.

Truth be told, he often ponders if getting back together for Emily's sake was beneficial to the teenager or not?

Yes, he loves Carla and the life he has here but all he can think of is the woman who had been sneaking her way into his heart during his time as Sheriff.

Beau would be lying if he said Y/N hadn't crossed his mind at least twice a day since he'd moved back to Texas.

He could hear a song and think of her, see the sun shining and remember how it illuminated her Y/H/C hair. She was sometimes on his mind more than Carla. 

And for that, he felt terrible! He wanted things to work out with his ex-wife, he really did, but he also was slowly realizing he was no longer in love with the woman who warms his bed now.

Yes, Beau grew up in a 2-parent family who loved one another and never seemed to have a bad word to say about the other, but times had changed.

For one, Beau's Momma didn't work outside the home. Her career was taking care of the chores in the home, raising Beau and his brother and being a confidante for his father. And she did it with a smile on her face and love in her heart.

And Carla is the complete opposite. She works outside the home, sometimes long hours and most weekends. There are not many home-cooked meals to be had at the Arlen house, unless Beau himself grills something for he and his daughter; Carla's portion is always wrapped and stored in the refrigerator to be eaten later.

The more he thinks about it, the more he is certain that he is not happy with the way his life is going and as much as he hates to admit it, his ex-wife needs to stay that way; as an ex.

He sits up in his chair and turns to his computer, opening a document and begins typing up his resignation. 

After Geri drops the bomb that she'd recently fucked Cordi, he acts as if the news was just small talk, but I seem unable to get past it.

The bartender's words played on repeat in my head all through dinner. 'This is whose name slipped out when we slept together the other night?'

Even as Cordi reaches out his hand, asking to dance, I can't help but glance toward Geri to see if she's watching; to see if she is planning on laying claim to the tall Ranger.

But, Geri seems unbothered by our presence as she continues to pour liquor and pull beers for other patrons. 

As soon as we are in his truck heading back to the Walker ranch, I bring it up.

"So, how many women are you fucking?"

"What?" Cordi asks, never taking his eyes off the windshield. "What do you mean?"

"Well apparently, you get physical with Geri often. So, I want to know, his many other pussies are you banging? Because I'm pretty monogamous. There's only been you since before I moved West."

"Really?" Cordi questions as he looks over at me. "That's what has your panties all twisted? I've not been down here pining away for you; that I fucked a woman I've known for years?!"

“You act like it’s no big deal,” I explain, trying to control my disdain. “I just don’t see sex like that. I don’t go around fucking every Tom, Dick or Harry when I get the urge. It is an intimate act to me. I take pride in the fact that other than you, I’ve only been with 2 other men.”

“Like I’m going to believe that,” Cordell chuckles.

“What’s so funny about that?” I ask, letting my rage take over. 

“Nothing, I guess. But,” Cordi pauses as he turns off the main road onto the dirt lane leading to the ranch. “You and I see sex totally differently. Sex is just that, sex. It’s a means to an end. I don’t have to love the person I’m fucking. Yea, I wanna make her feel good but I want her to make me feel good too.”

As we pull up to the front of his parents’ home, Cordell shuts the engine off and we both sit still, neither of us moving to get out. This night was turning out completely opposite of what I had assumed.

After a beat, Cordell shakes his head and opens his door, stepping out of the vehicle. Before closing the door, though, he speaks. “I really thought you knew this was a casual thing for us. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

I sit in the cab of the truck long after he shuts the door and walks toward the barn with my phone in my hand as I navigate the airport website to book a 1 way ticket back to Helena; back to loneliness and missing Beau.

“Shit!” My little mini-vacation didn't turn out like I expected. 

I step out of the truck and look around for the man who lives here but am instead met with dark silence. 

Seeing as he is nowhere to be found, I begin walking down the gravelly lane toward the main road. It'll be easier for the cab to pick me up.

As the asphalt comes into view, my phone dings alerting me to a message. I pull it out of my pocket and open it to see something I'd never, ever expected.

Beau: Hey Y/N. It's Beau. Looks like I'm going to be coming back to Helena. Could we meet up and talk about some things?

Instead of texting back, I hit the call button and put the device to my ear, hearing it connect and begin ringing. 

"Y/N?" Beau answers with my name rather than a normal "Hello".

"It's me."

"How you been, sweetheart?"

'I've had better days….and some worse ones too. So, what is taking you back to Montana?"

"Wait, what do you mean taking me back?! Don't you still live there? Please don't tell me you've moved back East," he pleads. 

Not realizing what I'd said until he brought it up, I laugh.  "No, no. I still live in Helena. I'm just…..not there right now."

"Oh. Good." Beau replies and I can hear the relief in his voice. "Where are you?"

I sigh, then smile. "Uh, about that. I'm actually in Texas. Austin, in fact."

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @deans-spinster-witch @yvonneeeeeeee @tmb510 @globetrotter28

[lokisprettygirl]

Use me as you please - (Loki x female reader ) (Smut) (18+) (Part 4)

Read Chapter 1 2 3

Summary : You ask Loki to spit on your face

Warning: Minors DNI , 18+ , SPIT KINK ,Verbal degradation, Dacryphilia, A little bit of dumbification, Reader loves being debased, consensual kinks, dom loki

Note : Don't mind me ..just a horny hoe passing by. Honestly there's no limit to things I'd allow my god to do to me

You being all dolled up in lingerie and full face of makeup will always be his favorite sight. He could never get enough of you, he knew you were in one of those moods where you wanted him to degrade you, but something about today felt different. He rolled the sleeves of his black button up shirt and walked towards you, you were on your knees, looking at him with those glassy eyes of yours. 

"You are so beautiful darling but you look like a whore" he grabbed your chin and made you look at him while his other hand unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, he knew how much you loved looking at those small chest hair on his sternum, they always made you feel so fuzzy. 

You bit on your lip as the sight of his exposed skin made you want to lick him up instantly. 

"Dadddddy pleasee " you whimpered and he smiled as he leaned down to kiss you softly and then he spoke to you, his warm breath tickled your nose 

"So that's it baby, you want me to hurt you tonight but with a touch of love? Want me to ruin you while I tell you how good you are for me?" Your eyes teared up as that's exactly what you wanted. That's exactly what you craved. You could smell his perfume and it intoxicated you even further, sending you deeper in your happy space and you just wanted him to destroy you very softly

"Yes please my god, that's exactly what I want pleasee" you whined and he snickered. He loves you more than anything in the world but norns he sure loved debasing you like this, more so because he knows that you actually craved such treatment from him, you craved degradation and you desired it just from him. You are his whore for life and he will keep reminding you of your worth whenever you would want him to.

"Get on the floor, don't make me slap that pretty face when I'm trying to be nice to you" you quickly slid down from the edge of the bed and sat down on the floor, you'd be lying if you say you didn't want to feel the burn of his palm against your cheeks, all of them. 

"You can bruise me up and I will thank you for putting your godly hands on me" the bulge forming in his pants just made him more and more uncomfortable. He has been alive for thousands of years, fucked the most whorish men and women on Asgard and then on midgard as well but you are by far his favorite one, also the one he cherishes the most. The one he plans to marry someday. 

"Tell me what you need pretty whore?" he caressed your cheek with his thumb and you looked at him, he could see the lust swimming in them, there were no thoughts in your head at the moment but just the desperation to be used. 

"Mmm it's filthy but I need you to do it for me" he snickered as you said that

"Oh you dumb little pet, you have cleaned my shoes with your tongue and my cum off the floor, dont delude yourself into thinking that you have any dignity left. Let me ruin whatever self respect you still carry in your delusional heart" you squeezed your thighs as his words made you want to worship him, he was extremely filthy when he knew that this was exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted to become his slave, his pet, his whore, his lover all at once

"Mmmm god you are so right, I'm just a worthless little whore and I want to prove it to you, want to make you proud, I need you to spit on me daddy please" his eyes flickered with several different emotions, he has told you before that there are several lines he'd never cross no matter how much you want it , he would never hurt you in a way that would leave any lasting impression on your mind or your body.

He wanted all this play to end right here in the bed, right after you're both done orgasming he turned into the kindest nicest man to you because you were his precious woman, the love of his life. You trusted him with all this depravity and he wanted to make you so happy, and to be fair this isn't the worst thing you have asked him to do to you. The request turned him on as well

"You nasty little animal, want me to spit on your face hmm?" he cupped your cheeks and bent down to kiss you sloppily, his tongue played with yours and he could taste the flavor of strawberries you ate during dessert. 

He gripped your hair in his fist pulling your hair back and you closed your eyes, the first one landed on your forehead, it was warm and sticky, you just wanted to relish in the feeling, that was your god and he just spat on your face like you were nothing but a can of trash 

"Fuccckkk yess oh yesss..that's it" your lips trembled as you spoke, the filthy nature of the act send your mind inti an overdrive of emotions

"Look at me" he commanded you and you opened your eyes, they were teary and as much as it turned him on he wanted to make sure you really were enjoying this debasement 

"That feels good, baby?" He asked you softly and you nodded 

"More please do it again, paint my face daddy" you begged him like a cheap whore and he complied immediately. How could he ever deny it? He covered your face until you were satisfied, shivering and just a few squeeze of your thighs together was enough to make you explode. You didn't even ask for permission nor did he mind that. The fact that he could just make you orgasm by doing something so perverse to you was enough to boost his ego. 

"Open your mouth, taste me baby" you eagerly opened your mouth, took your tongue and he spat right on it. You hummed as you swallowed him in, he was delicious, each and every inch of him was.

"Such a good girl for daddy and the trashiest whore he had ever met, I love you" he mumbled as he picked you up from the floor and you opened your eyes when the warm water cascaded down your face wiping his spit off.

"Gosh thank you, that was cathartic" you mumbled and he undressed you both with a click of his finger. 

"You sure know how to make me fall in love more and more everyday darling" he picked you up, pressed you against the wall and fucked you so tenderly you almost forgot your own name. 

He couldn't help but wonder what was the limit for you when it comes to degradation, you would allow him to do anything to you and the thought overwhelmed him.

And he knew that you would surprise him with something again, very soon.

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Idk if this is a hot take or not, but IMO loml is one of the most straightforward songs on the album and it actually tells a story in chronological order. Let’s examine:

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing

Back into rekindled flames?

If we know the steps anyway

We embroidered the memories

Of the time I was away

Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"

Yes, I know this very much sounds like it’s about a certain someone but I actually think here she is referring to the breaks between her and Joe that she’s previously alluded to in Hits Different & That’s When TV. She also often describes this relationship as making her feel like a kid in other songs like CIWYW, INTHAF etc.

I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

This was the line that really sparked my curiosity. What does she not mind? It seems like she’s changing her mind on something and resigning herself to being stable and settled rather than leaving to find something better. This is the period when we got songs like Lavender Haze. He said he needed more time before marriage and she was like you know what yeah, why do women have to get married anyway?? Can’t we just be together?? Both of them were denying that it was what she truly wanted and he just didn’t.

You and I go from one kiss to gettin married

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery

Never quite buried

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time

You lowdown boy, you stand up guy

Holy Ghost, you told me I'm

The love of your life

You said I'm the love of your life

About a million times

She’s waiting and waiting and waiting for the marriage thing to happen and he just keeps placating her by saying she’s the love of his life. (I can totally just picture him saying “but you’re the love of my life and we’re happy, isn’t that enough?”). She has faith in him because he’s such a good guy with integrity, surely he wouldn’t just lie to her and lead her on. Surely he’ll show up in the nick of time to marry her like he said he would.

Who's gonna tell me the truth

When you blew in with the winds of fate

And told me I reformed you

Here’s what’s his name making his grand entrance!

And all at once, the ink bleeds

He promised her all the same things and then took it away so quickly which released the stopper on all her pent up feelings about being let down in this way. The rest of this verse is pretty clear cut

You talked me under the table

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

Now it’s about them both! She’s going into detail about the way in which they let her down

Dancing phantoms on the terrace

Are they second-hand embarrassed

That I can't get out of bed?

Cause something counterfeit's dead

It was legendary

It was momentary

It was unnecessary

Should've let it stay buried

This is the saddest part!!! This is also about both of them! What’s his name is obvious, but it’s also about her and Joe. She knew they had issues! She knew he didn’t want what she wanted! That’s why they had their break! Now she feels that when they resumed their relationship it wasn’t real, he just started lying to her and she was also lying to herself, and they should have just broken up for good the first time.

Oh, what a valiant roar

What a bland goodbye

The coward claimed he was a lion

I'm combing through the braids of lies

Again, what’s his name is very obvious here. She’s also upset about her breakup with Joe: she broke up with him remotely! And maybe he just let her! She thought he was brave, that he had integrity, but he lied to her over and over and over again, every time he promised they would have the things she wanted for her future. He was just delaying the inevitable and wasting her time.

If you can get past the Matty of it all and accept the story she’s telling here at face value there is SO MUCH she’s sharing with us here.

[hoper-n-dreamer]

Title: Until I found you both.

(gif by zeifellt and frozen-delight )

[ yeah I know credits are visible under the gifs but I am new here and want to make sure the people making these beautiful gifs have their names on top]

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic. I am a sucker for platonic fics so here we go.

Summary: what if you told Dean and Sam about an insecurity regarding your appearance and they react in the most wonderful manner.

Word count: no idea

You, Sam and Dean were lying on the bed comfortably. Sam busy on his laptop while Dean hastily eating the last piece of cake(yes he was out of pie). You were best buddies so there was a comfortable silence until you broke it with a question;

'Dean , Sam do you think I am pretty?'

The question caught them off guard but after a few seconds they did answer,

'Of course sweetheart, no doubt the prettiest one. ' Dean expressed without missing a beat with Sam accompanying,

'Yeah sweetie you are indeed, but why are you asking this ?'

' I know you guys are saying this because you love me and we are like family, but seriously I do think if we weren't friends , you wouldn't even notice me if either of you met me somewhere. Uh, what I want to say is that I have seen the women you go out with , they are so pretty and tall and blonde and skinny, and I am neither of those things.'

' Hey sweetheart that's not true. You are really beautiful, like sure the women we go out with are all that but you are also beautiful I mean any guy would be hella lucky to even breathe the same air as you.'

'Yeah , I mean if I had a chance in a lifetime without hunting and my girlfriends getting killed and all , I would love to marry a girl like you.'

'But I am fat , look big thighs and belly fat, people would make fun of you guys if you were with me. It's just I wish sometimes that someone would ask me out and take me for a date you know like dinner and dance and stuff. And he wouldn't be embarassed to be seen with me in public, i just don't want to change my appearance for someone you know , i want them to love me for who I am with all these flaws.'

After you finished this emotional outpour both Sam and Dean looked at each other , with a little concern and maybe tinge of pity. They wanted to tell you that whatever they said about you was not some sympathy talk, it was real. They wanted to tell you that you were the kindest , sweetest , most beautiful soul they had encountered. Selfless , smart and brave, heck even the vocabulary would fall short of adjectives to describe how special you were to them. They made a silent pact and after giving you the biggest group hug they went out to do their respective stuff.

Here you were lying on the same bed , looking at the ceiling and asking dear Chuck that if you were as special as the brothers made you sound why hasn't anyone in your life made you feel that special. While contemplating all these things hours passed by and then came a knock.

' It's open come in.' Sam entered with a bunch of clothes in his humongous moose arms.

' Hiya milady , now get your pretty ass up and choose one of these three things to wear.'

Bewildered by this sudden demand the only thing you could conjure was,

' what ,huh? Why? What? Why are you wearing a dress shirt?'

' We are going for a special night . Here are the three options , the comfy jeans and Tee, the red satin dress and the black gown. Whatever you feel comfortable in , get ready in 15 minutes and meet me and Dean at the garage. Hurry up.'

And with that the adorable giant went downstairs leaving you in a happy shocked state. Not wasting even a second you put on your favourite outfit and wore your hair in a manner it made you feel pretty, excited you put on your shoes of your choice and ran downstairs.

And with the brightest smiles there were these two beautiful brothers you loved , who were the best thing that had happened , greeting you with roses in their hands. You could see how their smiles grew the moment they saw you coming downstairs, as if entranced by your beauty and the softest eyes they greeted you.

' Princess , would you do this peasant a favour and get your beautiful, hot ass seated in the ride i affectionately call 'the baby'.'

'Oh my , Dean, Sam I - oh , you guys are doing so much for me , I don't even know how to thank you.'

' Oh sweetie believe me when I say you thank us everyday by merely existing, now take my hand and let's roll because I am really hungry.' Sam said with a chuckle.

Man you were really feeling pretty thanks to these adorable dorks. After about half an hour , the three of you arrived at your beloved restaurant. Sam and Dean insisted that you order as much as you want it was their treat and so you did. Especially taking care to order the pie knowing Dean loves it , and Sam's guilty pleasure a French pastry with some fancy name you couldn't pronounce. The three of you sat there stuffing the food and laughing, forgetting about any worries that plagued your lives. After few hours passed you thought that the day of surprise was over but after reaching the bunker they stopped you from going to your room.

'Hey , the night's not over yet ' and with that Dean took your hands and signalled Sam.

And there it was your favourite song playing in the background. The first song was Until i Found you by Stephen Sanchez ( readers do listen to this song it's beautiful and you can listen to it while reading it).

Georgia...wrap me up in ....

Dean pulled you close , one hand in yours the other on your waist. Swaying effortlessly. With Sam taking his turn and replacing Dean while you twirled .

And then the realisation hit you , you looked at both of them,you really looked at them, you looked at their smiles in their eyes. And you looked at their happiness, and realised that even if you didn't feel like the prettiest person in the world earlier, Sam and Dean made you feel like a queen. And with your head on their chest, closing your wet eyes you realised how damn lucky you were that you found them, really they were the one pulling you out of darkness all along. And even if you weren't their lover per se, you loved them with all your damn heart. And you knew as well that they loved you with theirs .

I would never fall in love again until I found her

I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into"

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

I found you 💖

[alpaca-clouds]

About Paris

Fandom: SK8 THE INFINITY

Shipping: MatchaBlossom

Genre: Smut & Humor

Length: 2351 words

Kaoru groaned, when Kojiro bumped into him once more. “You are drunk, oaf.”

“Justa bit tipsy,” Kojiro replied with a grin that showed exactly how tipsy he was.

They had found this really nice bar. (Well, technically it had been CARLA who had found it.) But even though Kojiro was a fucking chef, he had preferred to get drunk on a mix of beer and whiskey. He could still walk on his own – thank the gods! – but he was grinning like an idiot and his walking pattern was not entirely predictable.

He was also responsible for the fact they had lost their tickets for the day and were walking back to the hotel.

Another bump, making Kaoru turn to him. “Just walk two meters behind me, you big gorilla!”

“Oh, come on!” Kojiro put one arm around him, pulling him close. “It's not like your made from porcelain.”

“I still would prefer not to get bumped by a big idiot every ten meters!”

“You always tend to be so mean, Kaoru.”

“I am only telling the truth.” He was already massaging his temples again, once more wondering why he had even come along. For heaven's sake. Sure, visiting Paris was nice. Being invited to do so, was nicer. But what in all the realms had driven him to go here with him out of all people.

But… It was always like this, of course. They always ended up that way. Somehow. It happened in LA, in Tokyo, in Dublin and of course it was happening here again. It was only a matter of time before he somehow would have to save the other man's arse, after the big oaf got himself in trouble.

Kaoru was not drunk. He was the one who really was only tipsy. He had had two cocktails and that had been it. So he was walking a straight line, this time catching the idiot before he could bump into him again.

“Turn right at the next intersection,” CARLA commanded him, making him follow. It was still 2 more kilometers before they would get back to the hotel. Exhausting, really. But it would do. Kaoru just looked forward to lying down in his bed again.

Two more days, then they would take the plane, home.

“They say Paris is the city of love,” Kojiro muttered, looking up at the sky. This being a city the stars were well hidden behind the reflective glow of the street lights. “Yet, I have not yet had one time…”

Another groan that Kaoru could not help. “Yeah, it would probably help if you knew the language, right?”

“I know English.”

“And the French are so very well known for talking in other…” Kaoru stopped himself. Why was he even engaging with the topic. Just because the big oaf had been unable to get his fucking dick wet. Really, had they nor originally been here for some chef's conference and not…

Yeah, no, it was always the same with his gorilla friend. In the end it was always about girls and about sex – and to be frank, Kaoru would never quite get, why the girls were falling into the oaf's arms. Like, sure, he had a nice build, even Kaoru could admit that, but he also never made a secret out of the fact that he only ever wanted a short flirt and a fuck, nothing more. So, really, why would the women all fall for it? He didn't get it.

“I'm just saying. There's other tourists here, too. So, really, maybe we should…”

“We should nothing,” Kaoru protested. “If you can't help yourself, you can go out tomorrow and yet yourself to a nice touristy bar and then get laid. But I am planning to go to the Louvre and…”

Kojiro's face lit up. "There is tourists at the Louvre, right?"

“Oh my…” Kaoru groaned. “Yes, probably. Though I don't think they are out for…”

“I'm coming with you.”

“It's not like you would actually get art, though, dimwit.”

“What is there to get, egghead? It's just pretty pictures!”

“Art is so much more than pretty pictures. It is a meditation on life and the world we live in. It is…”

“Turn left at the next intersection,” CARLA cut into the conversation.

Kaoru just gave a scoff and accelerated his pace. The sooner they were back at the hotel, the better.

They were now near the Seine. He could smell that. He could smell the water. They would need to cross a bridge, as their hotel was on the other side of the river. And maybe…

He stopped. He had not even realized where CARLA was sending them, until he stepped out of the street onto a big plaza, where trees, bushes and grass were surrounding Paris' most famous monument, painted with a wide variety of strategically placed lights. The Eiffel Tower.

Even Kojiro noted, standing there looking at the monument. It was undeniably pretty.

Kaoru knew a bit about the structure. About the light show, too. Officially people were not even allowed to make photos of it, because the entire lighting was copyrighted, which almost seemed insane to him. Yet, there was clearly a lot of thought put into it.

“Man,” Kojiro said, “I really wanted to go here for a nice date. Get some ice cream maybe and then kiss a pretty girl…”

“And then get your dick wet…”

“Oh, come on, princess. I am a simple man but not that simple.”

“You are a gorilla, mostly driven by your fucking instincts.”

“That is not true. I can be soph- sopha- soph…” He started to stutter.

“Sophisticated,” Kaoru muttered, rolling his eyes. “You're drunk!”

The broad shoulders shrugged. “Maybe just a bit.” With that Kojiro moved onto the big plaza surrounding the giant monument. It was empty here right now. No wonder, given it was about 2 in the morning. It was nice, though. And yes, with a different companion this might've been romantic.

A sigh fought its way up Kaoru's throat. It was not as if he had had any romance. It was not as if there was no one having interest in him – there were plenty. But all those girls – and some boys – cared about was his pretty face. There was no one to talk to about art, about history or about the newest developments in AI technology.

Maybe it was his own fault. Maybe it was that he had too high standards.

A breeze from the Seine blew over the plaza, getting caught in Kaoru's hair, which he had to hold back to keep it out of his face.

Only when he turned, he found Kojiro staring at him. “What is it now, oaf?”

“I am just thinking again, that I would be totally into you if you were a girl.”

Kaoru could not help a scoff. “It had never stopped you in high school that I wasn't.”

“That was different.”

“How so?”

“It was…” Kojiro stopped himself. “It was nothing serious.”

“As those fucks you have with the girls now?” Kaoru could not hold his sarcasm back.

This comment was enough to leave the oaf dumbfounded. He starred at him for a long while. “Well…” He tried and yet was unable to find a good reply to it.

The silent grew on, quickly starting to get awkward, while another breath came over the place, some wind catching in the tower and whistling.

“Why did we even stop?” Kojiro asked.

“Because you went to Italy and came back the dumbest womanizer known to all of Okinawa!”

“Huh.”

Koaru just groaned once more and continued on his way. It was at least another kilometer until they would get to their hotel and he was quickly getting tired. Literally and figuratively. What he had not expected was for Kojiro to catch his hand and turn him around, pressing those lips against Kaoru's in a deep, demanding kiss, until Kaoru pushed him away.

“You are drunk!”

“Not that drunk.”

“Clearly that drunk!”

[As it gets steamy from here on out, you'll find the rest of the Fic on Ao3]

[sarahali199x]

The Weirdos and Normals I Loved Chapter 16-18

16./42 Kelly and The USB Stick Warning: Sexual Text, Stalking I was about 16 and in 4th grade, and as I've said over and over, I felt lonely. My last girlfriend was in 12 year old elementary. In addition, I wanted to experience love and lose my virginity. I cursed my school for autists that only had boys. Guys who weren't exactly looking for girlfriends, strangely enough. There was also S. a counsellor from my school, she always helped me and always motivated me. She had a beautiful smile and broad hips, she was also flat chested, but that's what I liked about her. I just know one day I said to her "I'm in love with you." she said 'Oh, Billy, jeez!' (Billy is my old name.) She was shocked and of course nothing had happened between us.

So instead of loving a love I watched hentai, weird hentai. Nothing wrong with that, they were drawings and drawings don't hurt anyone. Besides that, I did something terrible. Of the few girls whom were in my school, and of the pretty teachers, I secretly took pictures. I took pictures of women and girls without permission with my Ipod. I was sick, I wanted to preserve their beauty, to keep them with me.

Meanwhile I had fallen in love with a girl I had met through facebook, Kelly was her name. She was a friend of Y., Y. who was in my class. I think I confessed my love to her online. We agreed to meet in Roeslare, I went there by train. We drank together, we cuddled in the park. We loved each other, we went to the toilet together to cuddle but the toilet lady saw this and chased us away. We went to the station to go back home. And from her… I got my first french kiss. We chatted a lot via skype. She went to visit me at home. We were in bed together, we didn't have sex but we did experiment. They were sexual acts. I stuck my penis between her breasts. Then she masturbated me, I almost came, and for some reason she let go. Because I almost came, I continued, and I came a second later. So on the one hand I had lost my virginity and on the other hand I hadn't, it depends how you looked at it. Since the end of 201X I know that this doesn't matter, but back then I thought it was important. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, and I said, out of habit, "Yes?". F*cking fool I was then! My mother opened the door and saw us lying there and quickly closed the door. I apologized to Kelly and explained that I was doing it out of habit. For her birthday, I went to visit her home. She loved wolves so I had bought a book about wolves bought for her. We went to her room, I wanted to finger her but she had her period so she said we could not have sex. She went to the bathroom, and I wanted to see her pee, but she didn't want me to see it.

In any case, even though I finally had a girlfriend, I still secretly took pictures of girls. I saved them on my computer and also on a USB stick as a backup. I was afraid of losing the beauty of the girls in my class and in this sickly way I kept their beauty with me. Anyway, Y. had downloaded the anime Elfen lied and promised to put it on my USB stick, I don't remember if the whole series would fit on it , but a few episodes was good too. Y. told me this at a time when we had to take the bus so I had to decide quickly, I told him he could put the episodes in my USB drive as long as he didn't look on my USB folders.

This seems normal, maybe there were beach photos of me in my swimming trunks? You can say that I made a wrong decision by giving my USB stick, but in hindsight I'm glad it happened.

The next day, sh!t hit the fan. Everyone called me a pervert, and S. wanted to see me. Y. saw me and said that what he had found on my USB stick was really, utterly disgusting. Y. immediately called my school and gave my USB stick to a supervisor. After that I had to visit supervisor S. I had to show her the pictures and my weird hentai. She was very disappointed in me and I was crying. They explained to me that this was completely unacceptable and that I had to delete the photos and hentai. I did this as well. I was also no longer allowed to take my iPod Touch with me. I did that, until my old mp3 player broke, then I took my Ipod Touch back after two years, but only to listen to music. There was one snobbish boy who said "You can't take it anymore with you!".

My parents took me to the psychologist as any responsible parent would. You don't want your child to become a rapist or murderer, do you? I confessed it all to the psychologist and explained everything. He told me I had made a big mistake, but learned from it. He asked me if 'I felt like a slave to my penis'. and I said no. He said I didn't have a sex addiction. He also said that I was not a psychopath because I was not focused on pain. I didn't want to hurt others. I was full of guilt. One day Y. was taking pictures of me on the bus and he said "You brought this on yourself." I came home crying.

Meanwhile, I was still in a relationship with Kelly. She knew what had happened through Y. and I tried to deny it, but she knew well enough what I had done wrong and didn't send anything for a while. Finally she sent that she had broken up, I said in a moronic way "That's smart, you didn't send anything for a while." Even though it was my fault, I was still mad at Y.

I've been hiding my weird sexual side ever since. No more unwanted photos, I still looked at weird hentai, there's nothing wrong with drawings and tentacles, but I kept this side of me a secret until ….201X (see later at the chapters about Myrtile).

In the end I'm glad it got out. It was like a cold shower, I was going in the wrong direction and I was shaken awake. Nevertheless, the stench of what had happened would haunt me for the rest of my school career. I was very sorry, I cried a lot and I remember my counsellor saying 'Hey, you didn't commit murder'. In addition, because I was shunned by most students for a while, I had become emotionally stronger. I had a problem, and this became the problem of others. But if I stopped giving a shit about what others thought it was just the problem of others. Even though I deleted the photos, the beauty of the women are still in my head, in my memories. I remember when one of the girls I had a crush on got really mean. She said bad things about a friend of mine for no reason.

She has also become ugly. But in my memory, I see her when she was still beautiful, when I was still in love with her.

17./42 Beppy Warning: Sexual text, suicide, slut shaming A new girl had arrived at school; Beppy. I was in 5th grade (+-17yo) at the time and thought she was a teacher at first. She was long, and had big, well, big breasts. Her clothes also seemed mature, the first time I saw her she was wearing a black vest and black pants. She had a relationship with Herman for a while. He was extremely autistic, but because of that his strength was that he knew a lot. He was like a walking encyclopedia. He knew a lot about extinct creatures. Also dinosaurs? I wonder. He knew by heart which country had which capitals and learned several languages. He was a good guy. That's why I was surprised that he was in a relationship with Beppy who apparently got into a lot of trouble yet was hugely popular. Many boys loved her. She gave the boys lots of hugs and the boys sometimes touched her behind. I thought that was cool of her, she was a free-spirited girl who didn't care what others thought. The narrow-minded teachers spoke of "inappropriate behaviour" and "that this was not normal for a girl her age". There is already so little love in the world and then they start acting so old-fashioned…. My classmates were not much better either, they were jealous and called her "a slut". The boys from the school were virgins who wanted to lose their virginity, but if a girl says or does something she is immediately "a whore", such a BS logic. Beppy and Herman did have one thing in common, they both liked to learn languages, namely Arabic. This fact will be important later in this story. One day Beppy and Herman broke up.

Later, something happened. Beppy and Jay got on well. At one point she and Jay went to the toilet, Jay fingered Beppy. Meanwhile, Miss K. had seen that they had gone to the toilet. Instead of letting two teens gain experience in a consensual way, she took a fcking coin and opened the door like the inquisitive Karen she was. But yes, we have to take into account what she thought, maybe she wanted to check that everything was indeed happening consensually. She swung the door and caught Beppy and Jay right in the act. Beppy and Jay each had to go to the supervisors separately. Beppy understood that what she was doing was wrong according to the school. Jay, on the other hand, got angry and started shouting that Beppy had "framed him" and that Beppy was "a dirty b!tch". That's why my school decided to expel Jay from school…. forever. I thought that was an exaggerated punishment, simply because he was experimenting a bit. I mean our school was in a small village, in the middle of nowhere, and everyone lived quite far away from our school, so it was difficult to meet after school. In addition, where can you find a private space as a minor? You still live with your parents so it's a lot of work, not only to gather your courage and talk to a girl, but you still have to convince their parents or your own parents to let that person come to visit. Anyway, it was over, between Beppy and Herman and I had the feeling that I had to act quickly, or she would run off with someone else. In addition, she waved at me and even blew kisses towards me. In the meantime I had turned 17. As soon as I could I found her on facebook, and, like a moron, I said "I'm in love with you." She said she was in love with me as well. I asked, "Are we in a relationship now?" and she said 'Yes'. I asked how old she was, and her answer exploded in my face like a bomb. 'THIRTEEN YEARS'. SHT! She didn't look that young at all! I got to know her better. She had a pale skin, but identified as a Muslim, much to her parents' dismay. Her father worked for the police. She said she had bought headscarves but her parents hid them. Because her father couldn't find a babysitter, she had to go to her father's work where she saw a cloth with blood. She had a younger sister about eight years old. She said that she was on skype with her sister and often encountered men who masturbated in front of the camera, she had to laugh about it. I had never experienced that before, so I was shocked that she was only 13 AND that her 8 year old sister saw those things, 8 YEARS! I wanted to keep our relationship a secret at first since our age difference. But the first day of our relationship she came to me and my classmates winking and pushing her elbows against me, making it clear to everyone that we were in a relationship. sigh. Our relationship was nice though. We could only see each other during the lunch break, because she was in BSO and I was in ASO, and only then was there a shared square for both groups. Kind of stupid to keep people separated like that, but it was what it was. We hugged long. I gave her kisses and licked her neck. When we hugged she rocked her crotch against mine, that was…. nice actually. She learned to work in the gardens which made her smell like sweat and made her neck taste salty. I wanted to French kiss her, but she kept her mouth shut. She said she wasn't ready yet. So I apologized.

I was a little surprised though. Everyone called her a "whore and slut" but she was a virgin, didn't French kiss and was only 13! She chatted a lot of Arabic with other men online. On her profile they asked how I was, and she just replied. That was rather peculiar, she told strangers everything about our relationship. In addition, my class was angry that I was dating a 13-year-old girl. They always said "Ooh, how is your jail-bait?" I pretended I didn't know what this meant, but when you're on the internet you hear a lot, and I knew it was a term for attractive underage girls. As if they lured grown men into jail. At one point, Beppy was angry with me. I wondered what was going on and she told me that Joris had said all kinds of things about me, so much so that she didn't even want to repeat it. I knew that Joris often gossiped and lied, so I said it probably wasn't true. And like that, our relationship was healed.

There was one night when she suddenly sent something. She said "I'm going to kill myself" or rather "I'm going to KMS" as she called it. I was concerned and tried to call her, I sent numerous messages. I called the school and sent an email. But got no answer. I got a message back from her. She was still alive, she had gone out and said she couldn't kill herself because she didn't find any rope. The next day at school, she was mad at me for telling the teachers. I had to keep it a secret that she had suicidal thoughts. I had to go to the supervisors and they told me "sometimes people say things that you should not believe". Sounded like bad advice when it comes to, well, suicide. All this time my parents knew nothing, nothing at all. The counsellor knew about our relationship and apparently didn't mind, our relationship was consensual and not sexual. Our relationship got a little better, but there was a problem, I had a lot, a lot of schoolwork. Beppy kept, and kept texting and with my homework I couldn't always answer. I also didn't have a smartphone, did that even exist then? So our relationship suffered as a result.

One day she made a proposal, she was going to "break up" but "not really break up." I didn't understand what she meant and I had a bad feeling about it, so I said "let's break up completely". I was sad. My class was rude to Beppy, but not to me, as if I couldn't defend myself. I don't thing she deserved all the hate and rudeness she got from my classmates. Okay, I never said anything, but Beppy didn't deserve hate. Beppy had a typical laugh, which was so loud you could hear them from a long distance, something many hated about her, but when I heard that laugh I got a lump in my throat and tears came to my eyes, I missed her. My class talked about how she cuddled with other boys and "grinded her crotch against them" as she did with me. It seemed like a shard went through my heart. They also said that she met a 21-year-old guy through the internet, he picked her up from the boarding school so they could have a drink together. 13 is indeed quite young to go out for a drink alone; plus 21 is quite… old to have a drink with a 13 year old. Yikes! She hadn't told anyone whom she was going with and where she was going, and the counsellors at the boarding school, who were in their 20s themselves, thought we were all a bunch of disabled people with the minds of 6-year-olds. So they immediately called the police, the police did a whole search and brought Beppy back, and the boy was suddenly suspected of kidnapping. I still remember, in the refectory, the dining room, when Beppy looked at me, she looked at me in a way I felt the world spinning around me. How she did that I did not know, but women, what a power they have! Eventually, Beppy was back together with Herman. With all this stuff it sounds like those relationships I had with Kelly and Beppy lasted a year, but no, both relationships lasted one month each. It's high school and adolescence. It's teen drama, a lot of teen drama.

18./42 J. Unrequited Love, Part 2 Warning: Sexual Text Life went on. A beautiful boy had arrived at school, he looked like a girl, he had long red hair, thick lips, and big cheeks. He was a little plump, but definitely not fat. I was in love with him, but never told him that. Maybe this was another 'gay phase', he looked very feminine and I accepted my feelings for him.

I had fallen in love with a girl named Jolonde. I wanted to talk to her, but every time I went to her she went away. As the moronic autist that I was, I didn't realize at all she didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't give up. It was valentine and I had drawn a valentine heart for her, it was a heart with a lot of doodles on it, and I gave it to her on valentine. The next day she came to me, she had an answer for me. We walked for a while to where it was a bit quieter, near a tree. Her answer was 'no' and she gave my heart back. Of course I accepted it. Anyway, I was angry at home, like the fool I was then. I tore the heart into pieces and flushed it down the toilet.

Then I fell in love with Liesje. We often met, but when I confessed my emotions she said 'I never know what to say in moments like this' and neither did I. So nothing happened. I do remember when she was with another boy. That boy suddenly said to her, "I've forgotten why I'm in love with you." 'Damn it' I thought, 'I can think of a thousand reasons why I'm in love with her!' "Oh, now I remember!" said the boy suddenly.

In the meantime J. had contacted me again. We went to see the movie Brave together, I remember it well, because I was nervous during the movie. It was 201X, the last month of 5th grade and I was about 18. I thought, "Well J. is older now, and maybe the hormones have kicked in now and we can finally be in a relationship."

We were waiting for the movie to start, a corny love song was playing, when it was over I tried to kiss her but she pushed her head away, I tried again and she nodded no. I stopped and was anxious, had I scared her? Once at home we texted, she asked 'are you mad at me?' and I said, "No, I just thought you were mad at me." I was glad we weren't arguing, we chatted for a bit and then she said 'I'm going to stop sending now to save my cell phone.' This was the last thing she said to me.

I was always in love with someone, maybe this was the sign that I was Polyamorous, or rather Ethically Non-monogamous. But I will come back to this later. I used to be a lonely loser, but I got tired of breaking my heart over and over again, so I thought I'd stop looking for love for a while.

Meanwhile, Q., a good friend of mine, fell in love with J. He was quite a nerdy boy, he wore glasses and had quite a weird way of talking. He had no idea that I was in love with J., but he sought advice and help from me. He called her "The Creature" so people wouldn't notice we were talking about her, wow, totally not creepy at all. He wanted me to go with him to her and talk to her and stuff, which was hard because J. wanted to keep a distance with that I was in love with her. Later Q. came up to me and said: "My counsellor went to me and said I had to stop obsessing over J!" I was completely confused, I tried to help my friend to find a girlfriend, but instead I was helping him Stalk someone! Q. said: "They want me to stop, but how can I stop thinking about someone? How do I stop being in love with someone? I'm not a robot whose emotions you can just remove!" I immediately told the counsellors, and they said they would talk quietly with Q. about it.

Beppy, J. and Jolonde will be back! But first it's time for the next chapter.

[inspiteallthedanger]

You didn’t ask AT ALL, but my theory about Paul’s sexuality is that he and John could’ve fucked six ways to Sunday and he still wouldn’t consider himself gay because a) it was John and b) Paul still loved women, lots of women so many women, my God the heterosexual vibes around that guy, can you believe? And as to the “John never hit on me” thing—1) lol yes, how could he have been any gay at all if he wouldn’t hit on his partner? 2) lol, again, McCartney, he literally hit on you 24/7 /WS

Hello my darling WS. I think we essentially agree actually. I suspect that wanting to bang chicks provided a great deal of cover for any same-sex shenanigans. So the question becomes how much / what sort of shenanigans are we talking about?

One thing that I keep coming back to is that we have evidence that Paul and John were concerned about being seen as 'queer'. Actually, so was Ringo. The only one of them I can't recall a direct quote saying that is George (although it probably is out there). So, it's not like this isn't something they considered and worried about. That to me suggests there were considering their actions and how that would come across. Which, in turns, I think prohibits on-going sexual contact that could have any connection to feelings or go beyond youthful high-jinx that's all in good fun.

Who were they worried might think they were queer is also something to consider. Was this just a wider public thing, or was the fear also something they had between them? Well, Paul simply does not stop talking about how he was constantly stopping himself from showing affection for men. He doesn't attribute that to fear of being seen as queer directly, but he does say it's about not being 'soft' which is essentially the same thing. This is the man that was worried giving up meat meant he didn't have a role in the family anymore. Like, he's got some pretty strict ideas about gender and what that entails. Same with John, the way he talks about same-sex attraction is all about this constant back and forth about being terrified of the idea and being sort of into it. Even when he's talking about having a sexual encounter with Brian isn't not like he ever says he enjoyed it. How often they both make these sorts of comments, in ways not even related to sex, makes me think they aren't just straight up lying, either. Their worldview leaks into all sorts of other areas of their lives.

So, that's why I really don't think there was any sort of affair. It's also why I would believe that literally nothing ever happened outside of the wanking sessions. I'm... not of that belief, exactly, but they were walking a very fine line. The vibe that the break-up has is very much 'something unfulfilled'. There's this sense of longing and missed opportunity that doesn't to me suggest there was anything acknowledged.

Which, is also why Paul can very easily not be lying about John never coming onto him. Of course John wouldn't put himself out there enough to ever ask for it. Neither of them would. That's gay. So it needs to have just happened sometimes. Like sharing a bed and getting a lazy handjob in the morning or being high and communicating through their minds enough for a cheeky blowjob. It's plausible deniability.

Also we do have to in some way tackle Yoko's comment about Paul's 'immovable heterosexuality'. Like, that's coming from somewhere, right? And if John had been having his way with Paul seven ways from Sunday... what gives? I'm assuming that it was that there was some very rigid lines that Paul had decided meant he could go up - put his toe on the edge of even - but never cross. And we all know Paul's bloody minded enough to stick to that, no matter how fucked up he gets. Which is, obviously, where the 'John was pining for Paul' thing comes from. John pushing at the line and sometimes it seems it's going to give. Or maybe Paul walks them up to the line, sways them forward and then runs in the other direction. I'm sure, on the other end of this, that John’s internalised homophobia would not have helped this. Like, if he's in the wrong mood he's probably the first in line to call out 'soft' behaviour. So, Paul's never going to be sure which John he'll get if he tries anything: Oscar Wilde or Marlon Brando (yes, I know Brando was shagging every man that stayed still long enough, but John didn't). So, even if they both had moments of wanting more than they were getting, like, that's a big fucking chance to take by voicing it.

So, anyway. Who knows, but that's where I always end up on it. Which isn’t to say I don’t change my mind sometimes or whatever.

[frostedfaves]

Attracted

Masterlist

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and Wanda are slowly turning Yelena’s best friend into their little toy.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dark!fic, temporary memory wiping, manipulation, mental manipulation (on Yelena again), milf!wandanat with younger reader (21+), mommy kink, smut: grinding, penetration, nipple sucking (if I forgot anything let me know!!!)

A/N: this is a direct sequel to Just Like Magic, so I recommend reading that before this one or you might be pretty confused lmao. also I know I said demon!wanda was next but I suddenly had the urge to write either a follow up to JLM or Dark Paradise and well...you see which one won. I’ve also been really thinking about getting into AUs more with Wanda or Natasha (or both) so if you have any good ones, send them my way!

-

You feel someone throw your legs to the side and jerk awake just in time to catch yourself from falling off the bed. You attempt to adjust to the sunlight soon after but you end up squinting again when you catch Yelena heading for her bathroom.

“What the fuck was that for?” you groan as you rub your eyes.

“You tell me,” she yells through the bathroom door. “You were the one practically lying on top of me. I had to pee!”

The two of you take turns showering and dressing for the day, finally making your way down to the kitchen when the aroma of someone’s cooking sneaks its way into the room.

“Something smells great,” Yelena praises while skipping over to the stove, peeking around Wanda and raising an eyebrow. “What happened to pancakes and bacon for breakfast?”

“Considering it’s well after 12, you missed your window for breakfast,” Wanda teases while stirring the pot in front of her, her gaze drifting to you. “Lena, do you mind grabbing Tash from her office? I’m almost finished.”

“Natasha!” Yelena yells, stretching out the last syllable as she heads down the hall at the same moment that Wanda approaches you from the other side of the kitchen island.

“How’d you sleep last night?” she inquires with a kind smile that you easily return.

“Like a rock apparently,” you laugh. “I don’t even remember falling asleep, just suddenly being shoved awake by Yelena because I came in between her and the bathroom.”

“Oh don’t worry, she’s always like that in the morning.”

Wanda dares to place her hand over yours on the cool marble countertop, and flashes of you under her and Natasha pop into your mind. Your very clearly naked bodies shiny with sweat are practically glued together as the two older women take all they can from you, reminding you who you belong to in the process.

“Where are you going?” Wanda challenges, holding your hand down firmly when you try to pull away. “What are you afraid of?”

“I just didn’t expect to see that.”

“But you enjoyed it, did you not?”

“Yes, I did,” you answer hesitantly. “But why did you wipe my memory until now?”

“I was being considerate,” Wanda chuckles. “How would you have handled remembering that as soon as you woke?”

“I don’t know…” You trail off, whipping your head briefly toward the hallway when you hear voices approaching. “Yelena can’t know about this. I don’t want her to look at me differently.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Wanda squeezes your hand for a second longer. “But don’t think any favors are free around here.”

You grab dishes Wanda sets out for you to take to the table, directing your best possible nonchalant smile toward Natasha and Yelena as you pass them. Natasha follows you to help you set up faster, at least that’s the excuse she gives to Yelena who joins Wanda again.

“Morning, printsessa,” she greets you with a hand on your waist.

“Hi, Mommy,” you answer breathlessly as Natasha’s lips land on your neck for just a moment, feeling her smile against your skin before pulling away.

“Good girl.”

Your lunchtime meal passes by without any incidents, but you become suspicious when Natasha and Wanda leave the kitchen proposing a movie day. Wanda and Yelena grab drinks and blankets to bring to the living room while you help Natasha pick out a movie before she pulls you down to sit next to her on the couch. Wanda plops down in front of your feet bringing Yelena down with her, and you assure your best friend the seating arrangement is more than fine to avoid any backlash from the two women that seem to have this all planned out.

“Natasha, we’ve seen this 500 times,” Yelena complains once she realizes what movie is playing and Wanda wraps an arm around her shoulders.

“What if I want to see it 501 times?”

You’ve become pretty immersed in the movie ten minutes in, at least until Natasha pushes your blanket off your lap.

“What are you doing?” you whisper as quietly as possible, checking that Yelena hadn’t noticed anything even though Natasha didn’t seem to care.

“What I want. Come here.”

Her expression leaves no room for disobeying so you reluctantly climb over to straddle her lap, gasping when she roughly pulls you down onto her hidden strap by your hips.

“Of course they’re going to do the one thing she told them not to do,” Yelena comments with a laugh, and you barely have time to wonder how she’s missing this when Natasha digs further into your waist and forces you to start grinding against the length.

“Mommy,” you whine, hiding your face when the older woman laughs mockingly.

“Oh printsessa,” she teases, freeing one hand to expose your shoulder and nip at it. “What’s the matter? Can’t handle it? Or does my good girl want more?”

“More please, Mommy,” you plead, turning your head to gaze at her with innocent eyes that set something off within her.

“Wanda, get up here.”

“Hi baby,” Wanda coos at you as she sits in your abandoned spot against the arm of the couch, and you whimper when you find a moment within the grinding to make eye contact. “Shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s got you. Come here.”

You glance at Natasha who nods and you scramble into Wanda’s waiting arms, squeaking a bit when Natasha pulls you onto your knees and rips your shorts down as far as possible. You attempt to glance at Yelena but Wanda is quick to pull you into her chest, rubbing your back and shushing your whines as Natasha teases you through your soaked underwear with her strap.

“Mommy…” you address Wanda this time as you try again to check on Yelena but she brings you back gently with just a touch of firmness.

“Why don’t we try something, love?” 

Wanda reaches for the band of her bralette under her shirt, pulling both up and over her head while letting her breasts plop down, one landing against your temple. You turn your head instantly and adjust yourself as best as you can until you’re able to pull her nipple into your mouth, sucking incredibly hard suddenly when Natasha pushes into you without warning.

“Fuck...” Wanda gasps, a grin spreading on her features as she watches you. “Our printsessa’s getting eager, isn’t she?”

“Can’t tell if she loves this more or you,” Natasha taunts you, running a gentle hand over your back at the same time that she thrusts into you hard. “I guess I don’t see why it can’t be both.”

“Both is good,” Wanda breathes contently, holding your face in both hands with her head tilting back, enjoying your mouth on her and the muffled sounds coming from you. “Let’s switch, baby.”

Wanda guides you so quickly to her other nipple that you barely have time to adjust to the new angle, but you latch on just as well and continue using her for comfort while Natasha rails you from behind. You begin burying your face in Wanda’s chest as you’re brought closer to the height of your pleasure and she holds you in your original position to make sure you can breathe through your orgasm.

“Mommy please,” you beg as you pull away from Wanda’s nipple. “I can’t anymore.”

At this point you’re the most overstimulated that you’ve ever been, your legs shaking and only still in place because of Natasha’s hands holding onto you. She’d use her strap and Wanda’s magic on your clit to build another orgasm each time you finished one while Wanda alternates you between either nipple constantly to make sure both get an even amount of attention from your mouth. 

“Oh, my beautiful printsessa,” Wanda coos with her hands on your cheeks again as Natasha slows her movements, forcing you to meet her eyes. “You’re telling me my good girl can’t take just one more from her mommies?”

“Okay, just one more,” you agree, smiling when Wanda kisses your forehead.

“That’s a good girl. I’ve got you, just one more.”

Between the feeling of a building orgasm that you could barely handle, Natasha’s rough handling from behind and Wanda’s gentle encouragement, your head is absolutely spinning and you’re practically screaming against the witch’s skin when you finally do cum. Natasha pulls your shirt up just enough to leave a trail of soft kisses down your back, joining in on Wanda’s praises as she pulls her cock out and pulls your underwear and shorts back up. You collapse into Wanda’s lap while Natasha approaches her to push two cum-covered fingers into her mouth.

“You taste so good, babygirl,” Wanda giggles against your forehead, kissing the skin before replacing her lips with her cheek. “You’re something special, you know that? Tash and I are so lucky you became friends with our Lena.”

At the mention of Yelena, you weakly turn your head toward her again and this time Wanda allows you. She seems unaffected, still watching the movie from the floor, but you don’t miss the red glowing under her skin near her eyes.

“Is she okay?” you mumble as you turn back into Wanda’s chest, not wanting to see any longer.

“She’s perfectly fine, printsessa,” Natasha assures you as she sits back down, running her hand along your leg.

“What did you do to her?”

“Don’t worry about it, my love,” Wanda warns you in a soothing tone. “Just remember that favors aren’t free.”

[duskamethyst]

broken reverie.

a/n: he’s not wearing glasses in this one.

word count: 3.9k

genre: smut, nsfw, college AU

warnings: taboo rs, slapping, spanking, choking, face fucking, brat taming (kind of), slight degradation, creampie, age gap (nanami reaching 40)

pairing: professor!nanami x f!reader

summary: professor nanami calls you to his office to ‘talk’ about your terrible performance in his class.

maybe you went too far.

or else you wouldn’t have ended up in his office. 

but is this the outcome you coveted? yes.

the door creaks behind you before it closes again as you sit and wait in front of the big wooden desk. you were kind of excited when he told you to come and see him at his office earlier but now you’re having a whirlwind of emotions making your stomach churn and you don’t dare to look around to face him– even though he’s going to be sitting in front of you in a moment.

his shoes clack against the floor as he strides and sits on his chair. the air in the room feels dense when the male doesn’t say anything; as if you’re not in his presence to begin with.

he looks exasperated. a long, deep breath is emitted through his nostrils as he loosens up his tie from the collar. you only gawk at him in awe as he does so, but quickly snap out when he finally shifts his gaze at you. 

“so, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he finally breaks the silence. the deep, husky tone of his voice fills your ear and you hope he doesn’t notice your thighs press against each other almost immediately.

“tell you.. what?” you mentally slap yourself. you’re clearly aware of what he’s insinuating but you’re suddenly lost for words. there’s a huge difference between seeing him in class and being alone together with him. it’s even more nerve wrecking than you imagined and oh god, is his ac broken? because it suddenly feels hot.

nanami raises a brow, evidently unamused. “i had the courtesy to make time for you when i should be having brunch now so i don’t appreciate you playing coy.” 

you gulp audibly, “i’m sorry, sir.”

“if it’s not clear to you yet, i’m talking about your grades.” he opens the drawer under his desk and pulls out a pile of paper before slamming it in front of you. you blink in surprise and flip through the pages, though you know you don’t need to see it when you already know what lies on them. there are a lot of red circles on the papers, namely yours, with huge unpleasant numbers on the corner ranging from 12% to 25%. 

then he takes out another file which you realize as your student record throughout your semester and the subjects you currently take. 

“i find it odd that you scored well for your other courses.” he skims through the pages. “you certainly didn’t cheat, i can tell.”

“no, of course not.”

“then, what’s the problem here?” his tired eyes bore into you as he waits for you to answer or come up with whatever excuse.

“well, i–” 

“you’re doing it on purpose.” he snaps.

it’s as if time comes to a stop. your cheeks heat up with humiliation and you can’t bring yourself to continue to look at him in the eyes. although you’re aware that your silence means compliance, you’re still jumbling up words in your head to deny his assumption. 

“are you going to tell me i’m wrong?” 

“yes– i-i mean–” you stammer.

“then enlighten me.” he glances at the branded watch donned on his left wrist. “we have time.”

you shake your head, “i have another class soon.”

“skip it.” he quickly retorts. “i’m sure you have no problems with that. your grades are doing well for that one, but certainly not mine.”

sweat starts to form on your palms as you look down on your thighs, purposely avoiding his eyes that hold nothing but so much intensity. you’re weighing between two options; to keep on bluffing or come clean. you don’t think that nanami would let you get off the hook if you keep on lying and you’d definitely be bombarded with more questions, yet the outcome of the latter would be so embarrassing and you don’t know if you can live it down for the rest of the semester.

you’ve fantasized about being alone with him but.. not particularly this way. 

gathering courage and taking a deep breath, you decide it’s best to just tell him the truth.

“you’re right,” you feel your ears burning, hands clammy. “i purposely failed your class.”

lifting up your head, you see the male grinning lopsidedly in his seat. maybe he’s pleased that you’re not wasting his time anymore, you’re not sure, he’s not easy to read.

“wasn’t that easy?” he folds his arms in front of his chest. “i have my own speculation but i wanna hear why you did it.”

“um,” you look down to your hands again, also half wondering what kind of bold assumption he has in mind. “i was dared by my friend.”

“wrong,” he scoffs. “and look at me while you’re talking.”

you sigh defeatedly and nervously fix your gaze. if you’ve learned one thing now, it’s that your professor doesn’t have tolerance for bullshit and he knows one when he hears one.

“i-i did it for.. attention.” 

“my attention?” he emphasizes, maintaining his stoic persona to mask his amusement of finding out that his speculation turns out to be indeed true.

you purse your lips in a thin line, nodding your head quietly. nanami remains to stare at you as he ponders in silence. you can hear your heart beating rapidly in your ears and you want to break eye contact so badly but you’re certain it wouldn’t be wise. 

“all that, just for a crumb of my attention?” he spits with a hint of venom in his voice. “are you happy with what you did?”

well, you’ve imagined him punishing you on his desk, fuck you raw or spank you with his belt until your ass turns red– not some serious interrogation.

“no, sir.” 

nanami props his elbows on the table, hands clasped under his chin to keep his head up. the air around him becomes even more threatening but it somehow manages you to feel even more aroused, making your toes curl in your shoes. you definitely need to get out soon.

“you know, if i have even one student failing my class, i could get into trouble and be questioned for my performance.” he starts. “to have you doing that for your own selfish incentive is unacceptable, don’t you think?”

“i’m sorry.” you mumble with meek.

“besides that, you might have to retake this course again for your next semester and it’ll waste your time– or..?”

you stay silent to let him continue.

“or you were intending to be in my class again so you can see me?” 

“y-yes.” you bashfully admit after one silent moment, knowing that lying will take you nowhere. “i’m sorry, sir.”

nanami chuckles, finding your naivety to be rather entertaining. never has he ever met a student like you, outwardly expressing their interest in him by failing their paper. he’s not too sure what you’re trying to get out of him but maybe he can put one and one together. it’s pretty common that younger women have an attraction to older men like him and your classmates are.. well, not exactly the best looking either. 

“are you?” he smirks cynically. “do you have any idea how many students i have to monitor? how tiring my job can be?”

“yes. it was inconsiderate of me. i’m sor–”

“show me.” nanami cuts you off and leans back on his chair. maybe he can push you a little bit, he thinks. you owe him this anyway.

you blink, perplexed. “what?”

“you kept saying sorry.” he undoes two of the buttons on his blue dress shirt and spreads his legs apart. “talk is cheap. show me.” 

you do a double take as he taps his thigh and waits for you to come over. you have the faintest idea of what he’s implying but your body freezes and your brain short-circuits as if paralyzed.

“you chose to lie again? you’re not really sorry, are you?” 

“no, no! that’s not it. i just..” 

an ongoing battle takes place in your mind– sure that this is a part of your deepest, darkest fantasy yet you’re just baffled over how quick nanami catches on to it. now that your debaucherous dream has become a vivid reality, you don’t know which is the right step to take. 

“but if not now, when?” a soft voice in your head whispers. if desire could embody a voice, you think this is it. gentle, yet seductive as if it attempts to give you a push to pluck and have a taste of the forbidden fruit. 

“how much longer do you have to touch yourself to the thoughts of your professor before you go to bed?”

“although this could be a one time thing, at least you’d know how it feels like.” 

you slowly get up from your seat and make your way towards him. nanami’s eyes trail up at you, down to the floor then back up at you; gesturing you to get on your knees.

you settle between his thick thighs and look up at him timidly through your lashes before you bring your hands to undo his belt.

“no hands.” he quickly demands. 

you lick your lips as you figure the structure of the belt and how you’re going to take it off without the aid of your hands. the taste of cold metal and leather instantly invades your palate as you feebly use your teeth to tug the front loop of his belt. your head shifts awkwardly side to side until you finally get to catch the buckle between your teeth, pulling it hard before the belt soon unfastens.

nanami only observes you indifferently from above, yet the large tent in front of you doesn’t conceal the excitement he currently possesses. 

you take a deep breath before you continue on succeeding your quest. you twist your neck as you find and tug on the fabric loop that holds the button.

“i know you’re a smart girl.” he praises as he rests his hand on top of your head while you struggle to lift up the zipper with your tongue and grasp it between your teeth. the simple praise inflates your confidence and you become more eager to complete your task so you can claim your awaiting prize.

with valiantness, you finally lock eyes with him as you pull down his zipper completely to reveal the huge bulge pressing against the fabric of his briefs and the tip slightly poking out from the top. 

“hm? you still have to take it out, no?” he smirks as he notices you gape at the outline of his cock. 

you quickly pull yourself together and lean back up to the stretchy band on his waist. he hisses when he feels your tongue purposely graze against the flushed tip before you pull down the briefs by force to reveal the one thing you’ve been desiring for so long. 

you press your thighs together as a dull ache forms in your core from the sight of his thick cock standing proudly in front of you. it’s nothing like you’ve ever imagined– it’s better and you’ve finally found it worth going through all that trouble of failing his class (and using your mouth to take off his pants).

“this is what you want, isn’t it?” he sneers, titling up your chin with his fingers, brushing your lips with his thumb and pulling the bottom lip apart so he can see a row of teeth.

“y-yes, sir.” you gulp and breathe as you wait for his next command. 

nanami’s lips tug into a conceited smirk, “suck.” 

leaning down your head to the base, you flatten your tongue underneath the shaft and slowly drag upwards in favor of reveling the veins on his hard cock. nanami lets out a sigh of content when he feels your tongue licking his tip and his hand tugs on your locks by reflex. you look at him as you wrap your lips around the tip, slobbering the tip with your saliva and his precum.

“fuck.” he curses under his breath and his head falls back when the warmth of your mouth finally engulfs his throbbing cock as you take most of the length inside your mouth.

you hollow your cheeks together, head bobbing up and down as you struggle to take more of his cock that you nearly choke whenever the tip hits the back of your throat, but the hand on top of your head grabs a fistful of your hair and he pushes your head down to sink all his length inside your mouth deeper. when you want to pull away, he only holds you in place and remains his cock down your throat. 

“through your nose.” he mutters. tears start to well in your eyes while your saliva just trickles down to his balls as he screws his eyes shut and relishes in the pleasure that washes throughout his body. “i needed this so bad, you know?” 

your whines only give him more stimulation and his hips jerk in response, “just wouldn’t think that a student– fuck– out of all people would choke on my dick.” he lets out a sardonic chuckle as if something just crossed his mind. “it’s wrong, but that’s what makes it feel so good, isn’t it?” 

nanami keeps you in the position as he ruts his hips slowly into your throat. his eyes are closed in concentration and his lips part slightly in fast and short pants. you work on your gag reflex as you let him fuck your mouth, enduring the sharp sting on your scalp when he tugs your hair harder– at least you know you’re making him feel good.

“if i cum in your mouth, you’d gladly swallow, won’t you?” 

you can feel his cock twitching when you let out a choke of assent from your throat but you splutter as soon as nanami abruptly pulls away his cock because of a sudden knock on the door that startles the both of you.

“get under the desk.” he urges and you quickly crawl to hide while he coughs and inches closer to his desk. “come in.”

you hear the door open followed by echoes of footsteps before it comes to a halt in front of his desk.

“didn’t i tell you to contact me before seeing me?” his voice is laced with irritation yet collected as he speaks. you can imagine the agitated look on his face, thinking it would be only natural for anyone to assume that he’s already having a bad day. and to them, interrupting the peak of his orgasm is most definitely not it. 

without a second thought, you take back his dick inside your mouth. a spur of triumph swells in your chest when you feel his body jolts in surprise. you think it’s only fair since he has choked you with his cock and what perfect timing to carry out your petty vengeance when the man is busy advising his student. 

however, nanami shifts on his seat to give you more access to take more length of his cock. he tries to stay composed as he feels your tongue gliding up and down his shaft but once the wet muscle prods against the slit, he emits an oddly sharp exhale. you can hear him almost stammering as he speaks and the way his tone changes to conceal the squelching sounds you elicit from underneath the table as you please his cock with zeal.

“so, i want you to fix the mistake and hmm..,” his hands ball into fists on the table as he takes a deep breath. “show me in class tomorrow.”

“sure. uh, are you okay, sir?” you hear the voice say. “you don’t look well.”

his eye twitches when your tongue wraps around his balls, taking one inside your mouth to suck harshly.

“yeah, fine.” he clears his throat. “thanks for asking.”

nanami only watches as his student turns to walk towards the door until the door closes behind him. once he’s sure that the student has left the door, he finally leans back on his chair in relief. 

“fuck.” he groans, glancing down at you as you look up at him innocently with doe eyes and your swollen lips wrapped prettily around his balls. yet, he looks dissatisfied more than anything. 

nanami grabs your arm and drags you out from under his desk until you’re on your feet, “i never took you as a fucking brat.” he lifts up your skirt and bites back a groan once he sees the damp patch on your panties. “did you touch yourself?”

you hum a ‘mhm’, feigning guiltlessness as he grazes his fingers on your inner thighs. 

“you’re just asking for me to touch you here, hm?” shivers run up your spine when his thumb ghosts over your wet slit and up to your clit.

“y-yes.” your breath hitches.

“begging for me to push your head on the table and ram my cock inside you?” he muses, pressing on your clit as he watches you squirm. “is that what you want?”

“please–” you roll your hips slightly to soothe the ache on his thumb but a hand comes down harshly on your ass, gesturing for you to stop in a fierce manner.

nanami chuckles mockingly, “well, that’s what exactly you’re not going to get.”

a whine elicits from your lips when he draws back his hands to his thighs and you glance at his dick; still throbbing and leaking precum from the florid tip. well, at least he hasn’t put it back inside his pants, so you still have a chance.

“come on. you haven’t shown me how much you’re sorry.”

with your inhibitions already flew out of the window, you stand in between his thighs, hoist the skirt to your waist and tug your panties to the side before squatting down to smear your slick on his dick. sparks of arousal swim through you as you grind your clit on the tip before you sink down, gasping as his thick cock stretches your cunt and down until you’re filled to the brim.

you glance at the male expectantly, waiting for him to move but he raises a questioning brow at you, “if you want something, work for it.”

not exactly what you sought for, but it should suffice. you begin to gyrate your hips slowly, adjusting to his size before you can pick up the pace. you fight the urge to hold onto him for leverage, in fear he wouldn’t appreciate the crumple on his expensive dress shirt later.

as you become more delirious, you start to hump his cock vigorously, whining like a bitch in heat as you feel every vein and ridges on his cock brushing deliciously against your walls. nanami lifts the hem of your shirt and brings it up to your mouth and you quickly catch it between your teeth. 

“the door isn’t locked, you know.” he muses, staring at your bouncing tits with half lidded eyes; mesmerized and thick with lust. “what’s going to happen if someone comes in and sees you bouncing on her professor’s cock like a little whore?”

a low, guttural sound rips from his throat when he feels your walls clenching around him in response.

“you’d like that, don’t you?” he smirks, tugging your bra down slightly and brushes his thumb against the erected nipple, making you mewl through the fabric in your mouth.

“you know you’re not supposed to do this but,” he brings up his thumb to caress your cheek. “you’re just so eager to please me, aren’t you?”

you sniffle in response, hands clutching on his solid thighs as you melt into his soft gaze before it’s gone in an instant.

“but i don’t like brats.” he sneers, drawing his hand away to slap your breast. “i don’t like people making my job harder. are you a brat?”

you shake your head, he slaps again.

“you act like one. stop lying.”

nanami tugs down the shirt from your mouth, a part of the fabric already drenched with your drool. his large hand circles around your throat while the other grips your hip firmly to roll your hip even faster on his dick. 

“oh– feels good–!” you moan wantonly, eyes rolling back as you let him control your body and assert his dominance over you.

“fuck it does.” he presses your throat tighter on the sides, restricting air from entering your lungs but your walls squeeze harder in retaliation. 

“bratty little bitch. clamping down on me like that.” he grits out and slaps across your face. what seems to be a rather harsh form of treatment, the pleasure filled sting and the lack of oxygen only fuel your arousal that you don’t even notice the way you hump on his cock has become more rapturous.

“getting off to this?” nanami slaps your other cheek before he lets go of his grip around your neck and you’re finally able to breathe air again. yet, he doesn’t spare you time to gather yourself before he promptly lifts up your hips and starts to pound inside your cunt relentlessly. 

the position causes you to tip to the front and you immediately hold on to him; face burying on the crook of his neck while his cologne fills your senses and sends you into a state of frenzy. 

“you like me using your tight cunt like that?” nanami grabs your ass for leverage, the angle allows him to fuck you so deep that you’re able to feel his cockhead kissing your cervix with each thrust. 

“y-yes–!” you cry, the pressure in your stomach building up as you inch closer to an orgasm.

“like it when i use you to take out my frustrations?” he spanks the meaty flesh; walls clenching tighter on his fat cock and more slick dripping down his balls. “you just want to be my little cocksleeve, don’t you?”

“yesyesyes– please–!” your body starts to tremble above him. “w-wanna cum–”

“then fucking cum.” nanami rams into your cunny faster, abusing the spongy walls until the pressure snaps and tips you over the edge. you moan breathlessly into his neck, while your pussy gushes and creams around his cock. 

“that’s a good girl,” he fucks you through your high, grunting and panting as he pushes through the pulsing walls in order to chase his high. “and good girls get rewarded, right?”

you hum in agreement, still dazed and swimming in ecstasy as you gawk at him with heavy lidded eyes; the sweat glistening his forehead and sharp eyes focusing on where your bodies join. 

“then you’re gonna get some huge load in this pretty pussy.” his pace begins to stutter, nails digging deeper into your skin before his cock twitches and his hips freeze as he paints your insides white with cum.

both exhausted bodies rest against each other, chests heaving as you and nanami take time to regain composure and come down from your highs. he lifts you up slightly to take out his spent cock and he tugs back your panties in place, not minding the cum that dribbles from your quivering hole. 

your legs tremble once you get off of him that you have to force yourself to find your footing as you fix your skirt while the older male pulls back his pants in place. 

“do your best for your next papers, no more of that bullshit.” he fastens his buttons and straightens his tie before raising his hands to brush against his sleek, light brown hair that’s mixed with a few strands of grey. “but if you have any problems, just come and see me in my office.”

nanami falls quiet for a brief second to contemplate and you straighten your back when you once again meet his icy gaze, “after hours.”

enjoyed this piece? wanna buy me coffee? :)

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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[catintheruemorgue]

annoying things they do

summary: small things these guys do that just grinds your gears a bit.

characters: oda, dazai, kunikida, twain, akutagawa, atsushi, mori, poe, ranpo, fittzgerald, steinbeck, chuuya, yosano, gin, kouyou, higuchi, alcott and lucy

these are all based off things i do or have inconvenienced my life lmfao i’ll probs do a part two with everyone i missed this just got wayyy to long lol next im posting being friends with double black 

Oda:

If you're wearing shorts and have bruises he will poke them when you're resting your legs on him. He’s silent about it too and if you yell at him he pretends to act like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

Will smack your sunburn but this one is actually an accident. He just wanted to pat you on the back because you're amazing.

Will space out when you talk too long, sometimes certain objects are just so… mesmerizing

Dazai:

Loves to jumpscare you the only exception is if it was a trigger. In that case he will just call your name and whip something at you for you to catch at random.

When you're driving he likes to reach over and honk your horn. It's almost caused so many roadside fistfights.

If he sees a dog in public he will bark and growl at it.

Kunikida:

Won’t let you on the bed without socks on. You could be sick as a dog and he’ll still enforce this rule.

Cleaning is hard because he has a hard time throwing things away. You'll spend extra time as he holds two identical pens, trying to decide which one he wants to keep. He’s learned to plan certain days in his schedule for cleaning now.

Won't let you turn up the music in the car and will keep it at a level that's so low it's annoying.

Twain:

Walks around the house shirtless but then complains about how cold it is.

Blasts his music so loud when he wakes up in the morning and it's always early 2000’s hits. It's not rare for you to have Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield stuck in your head by 9 am.

Always has to climb something, this stems from his adventurous side. It's not really that annoying but when you’re in a crowded area and he runs off to go climb the tall statue, screaming at you to take a photo… Yes it is. Especially when children try and follow him and you're stuck receiving glares from the parents.

Akutagawa:

Will not let you throw any food products out. He tells you it's a perfectly good meal (even if it's not) and that he will eat it tomorrow. It’s sad because you know this stems from childhood but it’s still annoying.

Reuses the same gross, musty ziplock baggies. You keep buying new ones but he doesn't get it lol.  

Will tell you if your breath smells, hair is messy, outfit is ugly. He does not see an issue with this and it's nice knowing someone has your back but he doesn't have to be so rude about it..

Atsushi:

If he drinks he's one of those drinkers who will not let you take it from him. Keeps an iron grip on the cup. He finishes it no matter how drunk and always throws up. Thankfully he rarely drinks.

He stops to help everyone, literally even if they just look like they need help. You've been late to so many things.

Will eat anything. Once you made steak and somehow forgot about it. It was hard as a brick yet he still almost broke his teeth eating it. You think you saw some tears as he told you it was delicious.

Mori:

Listens to people's conversations in public and isn't afraid to comment, loudly, about it. You know it's loud because they either stop talking or try and confront you guys.

Comes up to stops fast and brakes so hard you feel like he does it on purpose.

Sometimes if he and Elise get into a “disagreement” he’ll try and rope you in to take his side and you always do, knowing it would probably give him more satisfaction if you chose to side with her.

Poe:

Asks for constructive criticism but will then argue with you about why you're wrong.

Always humming a song he heard Twain singing and then it gets stuck in your head too.

Will deny stupid things like why your favorite mug is in the trash or why he just let out rather loud scream in the bathroom. You know he's lying because he looks away and makes sure his bangs are covering his eyes.

Ranpo:

Will call you out on any lie even if you don't mean to lie you just forgot about some of the details.

Don't take him grocery shopping if you have a set amount you want to spend. He won't even sneak, he will just say he wants something and throw it in the cart.

Such a backseat driver even though he can't drive.

Fitzgerald:

Likes to act like he's still in his twenties and will somehow get the two of you invited to college parties where he will attempt to do a kegger in front of everyone. You end up being the one to hold him up and he always ends with a, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

Likes to ask for the senior discount even though he's not that old, he just likes to hear the women validate that he's not old.

It’s scary how he used to buy without looking and now will scream if the price on a price tag is too high.

Steinbeck:

Always looking at the grass for wheat to chew on. It's so cheesy when you walk into the city and he's got it sticking out of his mouth.

He gets weirdly intimate with nature and you feel like you're third wheeling.

Has the mentality that he has to provide for you because he is the man. He gets so shocked when he finds out you still want to work.

Chuuya:

Has a hard time making decisions you could ask him what he wants for dinner and his mind will just break.

Gets way too pissed at movies and will actually get up and walk away. Once you were kicked out of the theater because he wouldn't stop yelling at the screen. Another time he walked out you waited a whole ten minutes before you realized he wasn't coming back.

Sometimes activates his ability at night and it's so scary waking up to him floating halfway across the room.

WOMAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Yosano:

Will glare at you so intensely if you say something she disagrees with.

Always tries to rope you into drinking with her even if you’ve said no the past ten nights.

Will describe wounds or injuries in such detail and just won’t stop, almost like she’s trying to fuck with you, but she’s not.

Gin:

Claims to be nothing like her big brother but then will go on to make the same facial expressions and do some of the same mannerisms as him.

Will spend hours trying things on just to put it all back, leave the store and change her mind when you’re almost home. Then she’ll have you run back with her to buy it all.

Is used to sneaking around so scares you a lot. Also on the topic of being silent sometimes she just won’t respond, thinking you can just read her vibes / mind.

Kouyou:

Will judge what you eat, especially fast food but will try and steal a fry in private when you're not looking.

Will say things like, “Well that's just the way the world works.” If someone tries to share their baggage with her. You understand she’s had a pretty rough life but it's caused you to almost spit out your drink multiple times.

At functions forgets about you for about an hour while she mingles with everyone else, you could tap on her shoulder and she'll dismiss you like you're a subordinate. Until you clear your throat again you'll see the slight blush as she apologizes.

Higuchi:

She has no sense of privacy. If she hears a crash or loud noise she will bust down the door. It’s sweet but not when the noises are usually from you knocking all the shampoo bottles down again.

Horrible road rage actually puts you on edge to be in the car with her. She doesn't even have to be driving.

Likes to act like she's a professional at everything and people usually believe it because of her suit. It's so nerve wracking when she giggles when they walk away with false information.

Alcott:

Will agree to everything you suggest but you can only tell when she doesn’t want to do it when you’re currently doing it.

Yet she’s not afraid to grumble about how annoying it is when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. It’s sweet but you’re left dealing with the situation if the person is aggressive enough to say something.

Always corrects your spelling or if you say something like “I could care less.”

Lucy:

Will fish for compliments in a very obvious way like, “Wow. Wish someone would call me pretty..” and then just stare right at you.

Kicks you so violently in her sleep but won't let go of you so you cant get away.

Constantly stealing from restaurants. You're banned from a couple restaurants because she got caught trying to steal a cup or salt shaker.

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)