#also this show is hard af to color

[veveisveryuncool]

just out of curiosity, have you ever tried to draw Traitor Magolor? (That's the evil version of him, the one that looks like a red ghost)

i hope this guy dies in a ditch /affectionate

[l0ngschl0ngking]

Not his type

Javier Peña x f!reader

summary: you are helping at Chucho’s ranch and Javier thinks you are still definitely not his type

warnings: as usually SMUT ( vaginal fingering, oral -m!receiving, male masturbation, protected p in v, biting, hair pulling), cursing, soft!Javi - cuz that’s my favorite genre of Javi -, just a smudge of angst, mentions of bullying, mentions of food, fluff  

word count: 10.5 k (I like them big I guess *wink wink*)

A/N: I planned to start my Marcus Pike fic but then this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. This is basically just a long friends to lovers fic.

Javier Peña is not a simple man – far from it. He is bitter and hot-headed, and he feels small no matter what he does – he should have done better, he should have been smarter, quicker. He shouldn't have been such an idiot. Maybe then he wouldn’t be now standing in front of his childhood home. Maybe then...  

But no matter what Javier thinks of himself he is a good man. He is caring and always wants to do the right thing – even if the consequences of his actions make him look like a bad guy. He doesn’t care – or he does but doesn’t let it show. Doesn’t want people to know that perhaps he is not as strong as he seems. Doesn’t want them to know that he cares – sometimes too deeply. Doesn’t want them to know he might feel – it's better if he seems unapproachable and looks like if you'd touch him, he'd burn you too greatly - so much that you would want to do nothing with him ever again.

So Javier feels the weight of all of his sins drop into his stomach when he keeps standing on the porch of Chucho’s house with a suitcase that he had packed with himself from Bogotá. He wanted to leave all of his old life behind but some memories stay with things that are bound to them.

He feels like a little boy again when he came home crying because lads – older and bigger than him – were picking on him. He feels like the little boy who hid behind the skirts of his dear mama when guests came to visit. That’s why he wants to look so tough, that’s why he is so hard around the edges – he changed, Bogotá changed him so he wouldn’t have to feel that small ever again. But even that didn’t help. Deep inside he is still that little boy. He can hide behind his bravado - his stern scowl and cold gaze- but that fact will never change.

He doesn’t know how long he has been standing there until the door swings open – almost hitting him in the face – and he sees Chucho standing in the doorway. His signature cowboy hat on his head and that old red flannel shirt he bought him on Christmas ages ago seems a little tighter around his middle than he'd last seen him in it. He is older – slower, the age showing on his face. But when he smiles as he sees Javier in front of him he looks 30 years younger.  

Javier looks a lot like his pops – he has the same nose that he hated when he was younger – and pops had the same colored dark hair once that curls if it gets too long. They have the same dimple on the left side of their face if they smile too hard and like his pops, Javier could never really grow a proper beard.  

Pops hugs him as if he hadn't seen him in ages – and to be honest, that is true. Work and life always got in the way and he regrets all the time he missed with him. He also didn’t want to come home – his mother’s things were still everywhere in the house. Her pictures, the warms blankets - that Javier loved to wrap around himself on the colder nights in Laredo - scattered on the armchairs and couch. He didn’t want to see Pops sad and so he stayed behind in Bogotá drowning in work, booze and women. The Peña men had different ways of grieving. Chucho never said anything to Javi though – he didn’t blame him for not coming, didn’t yell at him for letting him be alone on holidays – and he should have. He should do all those things because maybe then Javier wouldn’t feel like such a bad son.  

When they part Chucho smiles – he didn’t smile a whole lot after Javi's mom died. “It's good to see you, Javier.” He pats him on the back – a little clumsily, Javier notices but he puts a tight smile on his face. He missed a whole lot.

“You too, pops. How have you been?” It’s a question he knows the answer to. He always answers the same – busy. After the death of his wife Pops seemed to spend most of his day outside working on a ranch. Barely coming home to eat or drink. Wanted to occupy his mind. “Seems like you started actually eating as I said.” Pops waves his hand back at him.

“You calling me fat, mijo?” Javier opens his mouth to answer but Pops beat him to it, his belly shaking a little with laughter. “Someone has been helping me out for a while now. Cooking and cleaning the house once in a while.” Javier quirks an eyebrow at this and he pushes the small suitcase as he enters – now his home, too. It didn’t change here in the slightest. Pops throws him a look above his shoulder as he looks him up and down quickly. “Seems like you have been skipping out on meals, my boy. Come, Bee is here and the lunch should be already done. She made Pozole de Pollo o Guajolote. Your mother's recipe.” Javi stands straighter at the nickname. Surely he didn’t mean...

The delicious smell coming from the kitchen makes his stomach rumble and he doesn’t remember the last time he had a proper meal. He abandons the suitcase in the hallway after he takes off his boots and jacket that he puts on the old wooden hanger for coats he made with Pops when he was around 12 –its asymmetrical and weird-looking seeming like it was made by a child – which it was but it’s a memory Javier is very fond of.  

The floors creak under Javier's quick footsteps and he stops in the doorway as he watches you fuss around his dad. His entire body softens, the crease in his forehead disappearing as he sees you in the Peña kitchen. The past coming into the present. Prepping the silverware on the table that lays in the middle of the smaller kitchen. He sees that Pops kept everything in place like it was even before the death of Javi's mother. He missed this place. Even though bittersweet memories crawl out on the surface of his mind and his heart aches like it hadn’t in a really long time.

“Seems like you are a busy bee, Bee.” Javier smirks when you look up at him. You didn’t really change after the last time he had seen you. Sure, you aged – as has he – but you still kept your spark from all those years ago. You smile fondly – and a little unsure – at him as you quickly wipe your hands on the apron wrapped around your middle. And Javier notices - of course, he does. The hesitation in your step when you walk to him. The little twitch of your lips you make when you are nervous.

He is an observant man. He watches and analyzes. And he is good at it too - you squirm under his intense gaze. As if he could see every little part of your soul, even the deepest secrets you kept hidden somewhere back down inside of you. That’s why he is such a good agent. Was, at least. His dark eyes shift to your cleavage just for a second. You don’t notice - his eyes quickly scanning you up and down.

He looks good. Even better than the last time you saw him. The mustache he grew suits him. His hair is longer than he had when he went to high school with you. He is broader and seems even taller. He is a man now, not the little boy you played hide and seek with. He still wears the same smirk on his lips though - that kind of smirk that meant trouble when you two were younger. His jeans hug him in just all the right places and the black shirt he is wearing makes him somehow look even hotter. All man.

“You know me. Never could keep still.”

And he does. He does know you. Or at least he did - when you two were just young kids, then stupid teenagers and suddenly - strangers too. You grew up at the Peña dinner table as much as your own. Your mothers were great friends, your fathers old buddies. You had a farm right next to them which you eventually sold when your folks passed away and it was just too much work for only you alone. You bought a small house with the money you received.  

Javier still remembers when he first saw you – all toothy grin and two braids sitting on top of your head. You wore that stupid flowy dress in an ugly mustard color. You were more of the outgoing type and Javier – to everyone's surprise – was more of the lonely kid. He was smaller than his peers – smaller than you even, when you first met him. And he doesn’t remember why you started talking to him and wanted to become his friend but he didn’t complain at that time. You visited him almost every single day – looking for mischief all around. Broken glasses and bones were nothing new to both of you. The two of you were inseparable – until high school. Javier – for once in his life, thanks to you - didn’t feel so small anymore. He grew up to be a handsome and smart, confident and funny, pretty charming and self-assured young man. Girls started noticing him and he loved the attention – when their heads turned around to look.  They thought he never noticed. But alas, Javier was an observant boy even back then and he noticed – his cockiness getting on your nerves sometimes. He never wanted to feel small again.  

And like almost every girl – you developed a huge crush on him.  But it wasn’t because he was tall and cocky, no. It was simply because you knew the real Javier – your Javi. Who hated being alone and who hated going to the church every Sunday – hiding in the dusty, covered in spider webs attic. He never noticed you – like he noticed the other girls. He never gave you that loop-sided grin or the puppy heart-filled eyes. You were just great friends - even when you wished for more. And one day you weren't even that.

You should have seen it coming, really. With Javier becoming popular, he started hanging out with you less and less. When you came to Peña's household he was already out with his new friends. And you always came running to him like a pathetic little puppy who comes to his owner no matter how many times they kick him. His friends laughed at you. And later on, he started laughing with them. He got a girlfriend – Lorraine, the sweet and perfect Lorraine – before you two stopped talking. The old memory still stings when you think about it.  

It happened on one of those super warm summer nights in Laredo. You wore one of your favorite dresses. It hugged your curves and you thought you look absolutely beautiful in it – your mother said so too. You asked Javi if you could meet up at your spot – the old scrap yard just a couple minutes' walk from both of your houses. When you arrived there your stomach dropped to your feet – his friends sitting with him on your favorite car that was reserved for only you and Javi. Laughing and drinking booze, the atmosphere lose. But you didn’t feel lose – your muscles taunt and all you wanted to do was just turn on your heels and leave. Cry about this stupid little crush you had on this stupid Texas boy. But Javier spotted you before you could do so – somehow he could always spotted you even in the biggest of crowds.

“Bee! Come and join us!” He yelled, one of his hands shooting into the air as he held an unopened can of beer. And with his other hand...he was holding Lorraine. They were close to each other – her almost sitting on his lap as she placed kisses on the column of his throat. You swallowed the ball of anxiety that was building in your throat as you heard them whisper: “Why did you call her, man?” He didn’t answer as he smiled at you. Lorraine's eyes squinting at you in annoyance.

Clearing your throat you asked: “Javi, can we talk?” He just shrugged his shoulders as he hopped off from the roof of the car mumbling a quick “sure”. He wasn’t wearing a t-shirt – you noticed just then. The sun was slowly setting and his golden skin shined. The butterflies in your belly made you want to go home and squeal into your pillow. You gulped and a few of his friends whistled – noticing the once-over you gave him.

“Someone has an admirer here, Peña. Too bad she is so fat and ugly! Like a pig – oink oink!” All of them bursted into laughter and to your surprise – so did Javier. He laughed straight into your face and you fought the tears in your eyes to not spill as you finally turned on your heel – as you should have done much sooner – and left. You didn’t see the remorseful look in his eyes and the way his muscle twitched, his mind screaming at him to go after you. He never wanted to feel small ever again and his friends said you were a loser – people like him shouldn’t talk to people like you. He didn´t want to be loser again.

Lorraine pulls him by the shoulder back to her – her tongue plunging into his mouth and when they pull apart she grins, the long nails of hers scraping across his golden-tanned chest.  

“Forget about her, Javi. You don’t need her.” He nodded – unsure – but he didn’t have time to think about it too much as her tongue fought with his once more – the heavy taste of beer on her tongue filling all of his senses.

After that, you stop talking to Javier. You still came to his house - with your mama - but you didn’t greet him anymore and he was pretty sure you told your and his mother as well, as they always threw him a dirty look whenever he was in the same room as you. You didn’t look at him and you didn’t acknowledge his presence anymore. He hated that he felt so small again even though he didn’t have a reason to. He had friends and a girlfriend, and all the girls threw themselves at him. So why does his stomach pull tight anytime he is near you, why does he feel like he lost peace of himself?  

One day he decides he has had enough. Both of your mothers went outside to catch the last rays of the sun and you are alone in the kitchen – baking your famous apple pie. He sneaks behind you and cages you in. You feel his breath on your neck, the slow raise and fall of his chest. You turn around – your noses almost touching – and he sees the hot fury in your eyes. You are covered in flour and Javier thinks – just for a split second - he had never seen you look so fucking beautiful. His gaze lingers on your mouth maybe a little too long because he sees you are talking – your mouth opening and closing.

“What do you want, Javier?” You ask and he had never heard you so annoyed, so drained. You didn’t look like yourself anymore and didn’t sound like it too.  

“Us to start talking again, Bee.” Because Javier is selfish and he takes and takes. Sometimes forgetting to give something back in return. He widens his eyes when he feels the sting on one of his cheeks – his head moving to one side with the force of it. You slapped him. He looks at you – you are all wide eyes and snarling teeth.  

“Fuck you, Peña.” You quickly try to scramble away from him because you feel like crying again. No because of sadness – no. That sadness turned into raw fury after the incident at the scrap yard. Because of how idiotic and stupid he is. And because – no matter what he had done and told you – you can’t seem to shake off the crush you have on him. He grits his teeth and his hand grabs your wrist. Both of your breathing erratic.

“It's not my fault you are not my type, Bee.” He didn’t mean to say that - the words coming from his mouth sound foreign to him. Not right. But his hot temper gets the best of him and the way he said and what he said should not hurt that much. But it does. It feels like he had just stabbed you in the heart and then twisted the knife – deeper and deeper.

You yank away from his grip and you point a finger at him – your hand shaking with the hurt, anger, sadness, Everything coming at you in waves - it feels so fucking overwhelming. You want to scream at him, kick him, hurt him as much as he had hurt you. But what good would it do? None.

You exhale shakily and Javier waits for the fight but it doesn’t come. You shrink into yourself and turn to leave. You look at him above your shoulder as you whisper. “I hate you so fucking much, Javier Peña.” And you are gone.

The heavy weight of your words lingers in the air and he feels the hot tears running down the apple of his cheeks. He quickly wipes them away. His ears are ringing and he doesn’t hear your mother yelling at you about what happened. He doesn’t smell your apple pie burning in the oven. He fucked up. Because he will never get to talk to you again or feel your touch. He will never hear you laugh and he will never get to comfort you again when you cry. Because the only source of your sorrow is him – the stupid Texas boy you now despised.  

Javier comes to present and you give him a quick side hug telling him to sit down. Chucho watches both of you and he prays that you are both wise enough now to sort out this little grudge you have. But you are also both too stubborn and the dinner passes in silence. The only sound is the clinking of silverware cutting through the thick air and sometimes Chucho quips in to ask Javier about Colombia - Javier doesn’t want to talk about that, though. So he stays quiet as he chews - the food tastes exactly like his mother’s.

When Javier sneaks a quick look at you he thinks that maybe he wasn’t such an idiot. The bitterness from your last talk makes his face twist. He hates how - even after all these years - you seem to not acknowledge him even though you try to stay as polite towards him as possible. As if you just look through him and not at him. He watches as you pass his pops a salt and you grin at something he says.

And yeah, you are still definitely not his type.

Javier sees you almost every day. It drives him fucking crazy. The way you just nod at him when he passes by or is in the same room as you – which is mostly kitchen -, the way you don’t answer his questions about you. How have you been, what did you do after high school? He only knows your folks passed away shortly after he left for Colombia – Chucho told him over the phone. Your parents felt like second ones to him. He wanted to call you after Chucho told him, he really did. But he didn’t know your number – that was just an excuse, he knows that and he also knows Chucho would have given it to him if he asked. He feared that you would hang up on him, that if he heard your broken voice he would book the closest flight to come to you. After all – you were best friends a long time ago.  

Javier wants to know everything about you – but you give him nothing. You are just a big complicated riddle to him and he has no hints to figure you out. He notices you though and the things you still do. You still enjoy watching sunsets as you did when you were younger. And that you talk to plants when you water them or that you still secretly go and feed horses a few sugar cubes even though you really shouldn’t. That you still hum when you cook and squint your eyes on either him or Chucho when they enter the kitchen because you don’t like when somebody disturbs you while you are in you’re your element. You always liked to bake and cook – often sneaking into the kitchen with him late at night because he wanted cookies and you gave in and baked them. Because he asked you to and said please – Javier never said please often and that habit he kept.

So because you don’t seem happy when he wants to talk to you or occupies the same room – you actually don’t seem happy with his presence in general and that makes his heart tighten even if he doesn’t understand why – he spends most of his day tending to the ranch. Feeding the animals and fixing the old barn. Today he started fixing the old fence that didn’t even look like a fence at all anymore. He grunts as he stands up – he is getting old and his back is fucking killing him. The Texas sun makes him sweat, he smells and he feels thirsty – has felt thirsty for a while now. But he knows it's afternoon and you are probably in the house cooking. He contemplates it – he doesn’t want to see you uncomfortable around his sheer presence but fuck. He feels like he could drink a whole gallon of water. Fuck it, he thinks as his steps lead him to the Pena house. You knew he was coming back home – if you didn’t want to stick with him, you wouldn’t.  

When he is finally inside and the sun doesn’t burn his face, he takes off his yellow aviators and the thick working gloves. He is covered in sweat and dirt and as he enters the kitchen you think he never looked better. But he always does in your eyes and you hate yourself for it. You gulp and turn your back to him as you try to quickly scribble the things you need to get at the farmers market today. Your body stiffens when he walks behind you – his shirt brushes against your shoulders - and grabs one of those old funny-looking glasses you painted together when you were probably around 9. The air thickens and the atmosphere is awkward – you both want to say something but nothing comes out of your mouths. Finally, Chucho enters and he looks at Javi and then back at you.

“Go shower, mijo. You are going with Bee today.” It's an order and Javi doesn’t want to argue. His house, his rules. Quite the opposite – maybe the change of setting will finally let you loosen up and you will talk to him. He wants to say to you so much. He looks at you and you gape at Chucho as he throws you a pointed look. You swiftly shut your mouth – Javier taking the steps by two as he wants to scrub himself squeaky clean as soon as possible. He feels positively giddy – it reminds him of the times when he got his first car and drove around Laredo with you.  

When he comes down the hushed conversation between you and Chucho comes to a halt and he looks between you two before Chucho almost pushes you out of the house. You drag your feet behind you and the giddiness he felt leaves him as he sees your “enthusiasm”. He wants to go and hide in the nearest hole, lick the wounds he pretends he doesn’t have but you are already sitting in the passenger seat by the time he gets his head out of the gutter.

The ride is awkward, filled with silence and you squirm every once in a while in your seat. You glance at Javier's profile a few times – his strong jawline and his aquiline nose. You stare at his hands and how come they are so big? The veins are prominent on the back of them - leading to the thick fingers, nails trimmed neatly. His hair is longer now after a few weeks already spend at home. He looks better than when he arrived. Now he didn’t look as...tired. And as skinny – he always devours the meals you cook and you can see him filling up around the middle. His arms were much stronger and more muscular than before because of all the work he did on the ranch. Domesticity looks good on him. You watch as he grips the wheel and see his jaw tick before he sighs.

“I am sorry, Bee.” You raise your brows at him when he glances to see your reaction to his words. He never was good with them “actions speak louder than words” he always said. “I am sorry for what I said and how I treated you during high school. I was a fucking idiot and if I could take it all back-”

“You were.” It's a simple phrase, your words coming out fast and he grips the steering wheel tighter when your hand lands on his thigh. “But that’s all I ever wanted to hear, Javier. Yes, your words and actions hurt me in the past. And they still hurt me now when I think about them. But there's nothing we can do about it now. We were kids and if it didn’t happen I don’t think I would become the person I am now so I accept your apology even if it could have been a better one. You should really work on your people skills.” You shrug your shoulders as you tease him and the hand that was resting on his thigh moves into your lap once again. He wants to tell you you could have kept it there – it felt too fucking good even if it was such a simple and innocent touch. It grounded him and Javier is touch deprived.

“So, that’s it?” He asks, his tongue poking out to lick his lower lip as he raises his eyebrows while he watches the road.  

“Yes, that’s it.”

The conversation flows smoothly after that and Javier can't believe it was that easy. If he apologized much sooner he could have been talking to you for weeks now. He missed this – your talks. You talked with your hands a lot and he enjoys how expressive you are when you are telling something. He learns a lot about you. You own a little bakery here - that’s why you are so flexible and can come almost anytime to the ranch. He feels proud of you – your dream was always to open a small bakery somewhere. At least one of us could make their dream come true. 

You laugh and talk, and tell stupid jokes or occurrences that happened in your life. He missed a whole lot and so have you. Your favorite story of his is when he told about the time his neighbor – an old lady – saw him butt naked because the woman he slept with locked him out of his own apartment after he told her he wanted nothing serious. His neighbor called him over to have some fun which he politely declined. You double over laughing and Javi grins, his cheeks hurting. He missed your laugh – he didn’t feel this comfortable ever since...well ever since you stopped talking.  

The ride passes quickly and when you step out of the car you come around – grabbing Javis's hand as you mumble something about “want to show you around here, Javi, so much changed after you left” as you throw him a quick grin. He can only concentrate on your nimble fingers between his and how it feels so fucking right before you are dragging him behind you.

You are not his type he has to remind himself as he squeezes your hand tightly.

Javier comes into the house all muddy once again. It has been raining in Laredo for the past few days - the land all soaked soil and dirt. He takes of his boots before he enters. His nose drags him into the kitchen as he catches the smell of pie. Sweet and delicious - or was it just you, standing here all soft and pretty? He can't tell anymore. These past few weeks were filled with nothing but joy – almost. You played cards with him and Chucho late at night, drinking beer and listening to Chucho's stories. Sometimes you went riding with him on the ranch. Your love for horses didn’t die out and you always were natural with them. You have your favorite one too – the small chestnut-colored mare with a fiery temperament that seems to tolerate only you. Chuho wanted to sell her a long time ago but you begged him on your knees – literally – not to. His eyes softened and he agreed reluctantly – he could never say no to you. Something both Peña men had in common. 

 Anytime Javier looks at you he feels his stomach tighten with something – sometimes arousal but he blames that on the lack of sex, sometimes on something entirely else. He tries to push it deep inside him but whenever he catches your smell his head gets all dizzy and he has the need to find you and talk to you, be near you He hates it. He hates it so fucking much. He doesn’t know what you did to him. He can't seem to shake you out of his mind. He thinks of you anytime he sees the sun setting down or the last time he picked violets for you as he saw them growing a few miles away from the ranch. Because you love violets. He gave them to you with a darker shade of red covering his ears as he scratched his neck. You thanked him and kissed him on the cheek then – his heart hammering in his chest, his pulse quickening and his lower half seemed all too interested in the skin-to-skin contact. As your lips lingered on his cheek as he thought about against what other parts of him would they feel so soft.

  Javi leans against the doorframe as he watches you knead the dough – one of the pies already in the oven. You look so nice in your overalls. He could just bend you over the kitchen counter and -

 Shut the fuck up, Peña. Don’t even think about getting hard.

 You startle when you turn around and see him, your dough-covered hand flying to your chest as you yelp. “Javier Peña, don’t scare me like that!” You scowl at him, your lip pursed and he grins – his hands shooting into the air in a silent apology. 

“Didn't mean to, Bee.” The corner of his lips pulls up as you murmur “sure you didn’t" and turn back around to put more flour in the dough. He quickly washes his hands in the sink and comes behind you – he inhales your scent and closes his eyes. The hair on your neck stands up. “You smell so fucking good.” It's a quiet statement. You look at him wide-eyed and he gives you a confused look in return.

 “What did you say?” Your throat pulls tighter. Shit, shit, shit. 

“Uh-um, that if you'd show me how you knead the dough.” He closes his eyes – idiot, idiot. You breathe out a small “oh” and shake the shock off of you as you nod and come behind him as you grab his hands in yours. 

And fuck, Javier thinks his pulse went from zero to a hundred in this second. His heart feels like it will jump out of his chest any second. Your small hands on his makes him think back to a few weeks ago.

 You stayed at Peñas that night.  You always drove back home but that night it was raining a lot and it was too late anyways. You agreed as Chucho asked you if you wanted to stay – they had a smaller spare room right next to Javis. You bid them both good night and fell asleep quickly after that. You were exhausted but a scream woke you up and you swiftly stood up on your feet and scrambled into Javier's room. He sat on the bed – all sweaty, his breath quick as his head rested in his palms. He looked up at you when the old wooden floor creaked under your footsteps. He cleared his throat and tried to hide from you. You crouched in front of him and offered him a little smile. 

 “You don’t have to hide from me, Javi.” And then he was pulling you into him, breathing you in, his hands pulled around you tightly as he sobbed into your shoulder. He was exhausted of pretending everything was fine. The weight of all the things that he did in Colombia came crashing down on him. You just shushed him as he listened to your heartbeat – his head on your chest, your hand in his as you stroked the back of it. When he finally calmed down he told you everything – the things he did, the things he should have done and the things he shouldn’t have. He told you about Los Pepes and Carilo, and the nightmares that still haunted him. 

 “I am just a shell of a man I once was, Bee.” He whispered into the night and you grabbed both sides of his face as you frowned at him.  

“You are far more than that, Javi.” He wanted to kiss you right there and then but you pulled him on your chest again and he breathed you in once more. The slow rise and fall of your chest lulls him to sleep. He never slept that well in his life.  

When he woke up the other side of the bed was cold but the smell of you – like an apple pie – lingered on the other pillow and he wanted to drown in it. He stroked himself at the thought of you as he smelled the pillow. Your soft hands and the feel of your breasts against his face, the small brush of your lips against his forehead. He came embarrassingly quickly and couldn’t look you straight in the eyes for a few days after that. Neither of you talked about that night. As if it never happened.

So now he curses himself as he feels how he twitches in his pants – the soft swell of your breasts pressed up against his back. The collar of his shirt is a bit too tight as well as his pants. For fucks sake, Peña. He hasn’t slept with anyone since he came back home and it showed. You don’t seem to notice though. 

“You are pretty clumsy with your hands, Javier.” He chokes on seemingly nothing and almost pushes you onto the ground as he stumbles a few steps back. Let me show you how good with my hands I can be - 

“Gotta take a shower.” He says and he takes the steps by two - almost falling over. He closes the door of the bathroom with little more force than necessary. He scrambles with his closes almost ripping them from him and he grabs his aching cock – tugging on it firmly as a spurt of precum shoots out of the head. He steps into the shower – the spray of cold water not helping him calm down his hammering heart or the way his skin seems to be on fire. He strokes himself quickly – the strokes measured as he thinks of your pretty lips around him or that pretty pussy you sure have. He thinks of the swell of your breast on his back, your breath on the back of his neck, your hand in his, your pretty smile and kind eyes. He thinks about how you would feel around him if he pounded into you from behind or what sounds would you make when he would go down on you. How wet would you be? Are you the quiet type or would he have to put his fingers – or something else – in your mouth to shut you up?  

He grunts and his forehead bumps onto the cold tiles of the shower as he cums. He watches how the water downs his spend and he tries to wash the guilt he feels off of him too. 

You are not his type, he thinks as he tugs on his cock for the final time. 

You are going on a date. Javier watches with a frown on his face as you fumble around to finish the dinner. You are wearing a pretty dress – a light green one with a flowy skirt that exposes the whole expanse of your back. The strings on your shoulder are the only thing keeping it in place. You look absolutely incredible. He didn’t want you to go. Fuck, what if the guy was some kind of psycho? Or worse, what if he was actually a decent guy and you'd stop helping Chucho because you would be too occupied with your new little boy toy? What would Chucho do without you – yes, Chucho of course, not Javier. Javier wasn’t jealous and he definitely wasn’t praying that your date would end up in disaster...Okay, he felt jealous. Like “I will rip that guy in shreds” type of jealous.  

And Javier would be alone tonight – Chucho left in the morning to visit his “friend” - he knows he went to Mária living across from the barber's shop. He didn’t say anythimg – the lie falling out of Chucho’s lips easily. And he felt happy for him – him moving on meant he was healing. Slowly but healing. Javi wanted to do something nice for you two tonight– the store-bought cheesecake lying in the fridge. He thought that you could watch TV today – watch anything you wanted. Maybe then he would slip his hand under the hem of your dress and he would -

“Javi!” You wave your hand in front of his face and he blinks a few times. You even put on makeup – the red lipstick making your lips look downright edible and he licks his own lips. He could pull you in and make you forget about your silly little date. But for once in his life Javier didn’t want to be greedy when it came down to you – you seemed so excited when you told him you had a date and he planted on the best fake smile on his face he could muster. Even though he felt sick to his stomach when you told him, his fingers twitching to catch your wrist and pull you close – to tell you you should fuck that guy and stay with him tonight. “You listening?”

“Sorry, what did you say?” You groan in annoyance – already running late – and you grab him by the collar – oh, he likes this a lot. You are so fucking close he feels your breath fan across his face.

“Listen, Javi. I don’t have time for this. The Chiles Rellenos are in the oven so they won't get cold as quickly. If it gets cold just put it in the microwave.” he nods – he knows this, of course – but wants to keep you busy because maybe then your date would cancel – no, he can't.

“Okay.” He says slowly and you let go of the collar of his shirt – just now noticing you grabbed him by it. You pull away from him. “If anything-”

“I call you. You already told me. Don’t worry, dad. I'll be fine.” You grin and turn on your heel waving a quick goodbye before the doors shut behind you. Javier gulps the growing ball in his throat and curses at himself. Idiota. But you know - of course you are not his type.

Javier watches the starry sky tonight. The cheesecake forgotten in the fridge alongside your dinner – he felt so sick to his stomach he was pretty sure he'd throw up if he ate anything. The warm blanket his mother knitted lays heavy on his shoulder as he looks at the sky – millions of stars showing tonight. You'd love to see it – maybe you already are. Star-watching sounds like the kind of date you would have loved. He fiddles with the handle of his mug filled with hot cocoa in his lap and thinks. About how he got here, about his fuck ups – and the biggest fuck up he has ever done was to let you go on that stupid date, he concludes. Okay, maybe not the biggest fuck up but close enough. He straightens up when he spots a car pulling into the driveway – your car. A small grin makes its way onto his lips until he sees your sagged shoulders and the slow way you drag your heels behind you.  

“You have room for another in there?” You ask – your voice small compared to when you left. Pointing a finger at the spot next to him. He nods quickly and when you sit he immediately wraps the blanket around your shoulders – your head resting on his shoulder. It's quiet for a while as he offers you his mug and you drink from it leisurely. He knows you will tell him what happened if you want to. The silence is not awkward – it’s a comfortable one. He always feels comfortable with you. You pull away from him and put the mug on the ground – pulling your knees close to your chin.

“Can I ask you something?” You look at him from the corner of your eye, your words muffled by your knees.  

“Anything, Bee.” And he means that. You could ask him anything in the world and he would answer you no matter what question.  

“Why am I not your type? You know, cuz it seems I am no one's type.” He knows you are referring to the time when he was angry at you after you slapped him. But he didn’t mean to say it. He doesn’t know how to answer – his tongue heavy all of the sudden and fuck, why is so hard to just tell you.

Rather than answering you he twists his torso so he can look at you – really look at you. The moonlight shines on half of your face and how did he never notice how pretty your eyes were? Or your plush lips, your soft hair? He gulps as he reaches forward tentatively – his palm resting on the side of your face now. And he expects you to pull away – to tell him to fuck off. But you don’t. His throat is dry and he feels like his lungs can't seem to have enough oxygen in them because his brain seems to stop functioning too. He brushes his fingertips across your cheek and you would have never expected that Javier Peña could be so gentle with his touch. He looks at your lips – your mouth open just a tiny bit and he sees your Adam's apple bob. Do you want this as much as he does? Or is he imagining things and projecting his own fucked up desires and feelings onto you at this very moment? He doesn’t have much time to think about it before your fingers tangle into his hair at the back of his head, his breath picks up and your mouth surges forward – your lips meeting his.  

He feels like fireworks just exploded in his stomach. His skin tingles and his hands brush against the front of your dress. Your hand on his nape makes him groan into you and he brushes your collarbone with his calloused hand. He wanted this for so long and he didn’t even know about it. The other grabs you by the neck and pulls you even closer – the blanket falling off of you two when you swing your legs on either side of his narrow hips. He presses his lips against yours with more force and he is confident and greedy with it. He curls his hand around your waist and his fingertips dig into your hip while the other hand presses into your shoulder blades. He can feel the blood rushing through his veins and he is warm and fuzzy all over – his body humming with something he never felt before.

You were never kissed this way before – Javier takes, and takes but gives back even more in return. The kiss is impatient and hungry – like he waited for this all of his life. His hands on your skin make you hum out in pleasure and you trail your hand to his jaw – you can feel the stumble he has under your fingertips. You open your mouth to him and the hand on your hip squeezes you tighter, and he wants you closer, closer – this is not enough. Not close enough. And you feel the same as you pull him closer by the collar and he groans into your mouth.  You can taste the warm cocoa on his tongue and his smell invades all your senses – cigarettes, his cologne and something entirely him. Musky and sweet. Your cheeks burn and your palms are sweaty when he pulls away from the kiss – his hands brushing along the exposed skin on your back, his thumb circling your hip. His forehead rests on yours as he tries to calm down and your nails scrape across his exposed chest – he always has a few buttons unbuttoned on his shirt and it drives you insane. He moans when he feels the sensation of your nails on his skin – his hips bucking up to meet yours and you mewl as you feel the bulge press up against your core.

“Fuck, Bee. I want to fuck you so badly. Do you want that too? Tell me. Tell me, please.” Javier Peña said please. He never says please. Yoou nod furiously as you peck him on the lips – his mouth surges to meet yours once again and you lap at his lower lip, your hands fisting into the material of his shirt.  

“Wanted this since I was 16 and crazy in love with you, Javi.” You whisper against his lips and your confession makes his heart beat with joy. You loved him. He grips the flesh on your hips and mumbles a breathy “okay” before he stands up and carries you with him – your legs wrap around his middle. He stumbles a few times and almost trips on the stairs as he keeps kissing you – his tongue nibbling at your collarbones, his hands supporting your weight as he holds you by the back of your thighs.  

When you arrive in his room he throws you on the bed and starts to quickly undress. His fingers shake and he can't seem to unbutton the fucking shirt. Fuck. He stands in front of the edge of the bed and you lean back on your elbows – your gaze heavy with lust. As you see him struggling you crawl onto the edge of the bed and loop your fingers between his belt. He stops and looks at you – you eye the heavy bulge between his thighs and he gulps when your fingers trail his jean-clad cock which jumps with interest under your touch. He has never been this fucking hard before and he knows it's not because for the past few months, the only thing he has been fucking was his fist – it's because of you. “Let me.” You murmur and he nods, he watches your nimble fingers working on his buttons and when he shackles the piece of clothing off him your hands map out his chest, coming down to his belly button and you lick your lips when you see the trail of hairs leading down into the waistband of his jeans. You kiss him right there – on the soft swell of his tummy – and he jumps forward, his hands gripping your head to keep you there. You grin against his skin and your tongue pokes out of your mouth to lick him there – he shudders, and the grip on your head loosens. You pull away from him and your hands start working on his belt – it falls to the ground with a quiet cling of the metal.  

You cup him in your hand through the fabric of his jeans – even now you can feel how heavy he is and that he will feel fucking big inside of you. “You are a big boy aren't you, Javi?” He whimpers at your question and nods furiously as he looks down at you – your gaze immediately locking with his as you are already peering up at him through your eyelashes and you pout at his state. You never expected Javier to be so...needy. He closes his eyes when you squeeze him again and then he hears the sound of a zipper, he feels your breath ghosting over his tip. “No underwear?” He shakes his head and chokes when you lick the salty precum.

“No-no. Fuck. Too uncomfortable.” His eyes close as if he's in pain and his nostril flare when he feels the first velvety slide of your tongue against his cock. Your pulse quickens and you feel too fucking powerful right now as you feel him swell even more in your mouth. You hold his gaze as you pull off of him and flatten your tongue – licking your way to the underside of his cock. His hands cradle the back of your head, his pupils completely blown as he watches you put open-mouth kisses onto the hard warm flesh that jumps under your attention.  

And he is fucking big – his size obvious by sight and by the way he feels around your hand – heavy and warm. But you really feel it when you take him deeper into your throat the girth of his cock opens your mouth wider. The broken sound between a whimper and a groan makes you clench around nothing and he tastes exactly how you imagined him – clean and delicious – exactly like Javier looks. You can't fit all of him in your mouth but you try – focusing on your breathing and relaxing your throat – the squelching sounds of your mouth bobbing up and down his length filling the room. You try to take him deeper and deeper – until you gag around him and pull away. Javis's mouth is wide open when you pull off of him – spit trailing from your lips and connecting you to the swollen tip of his cock. His chest heaves and he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip – collecting the saliva – and puts it in his mouth – he groans with approval and it makes you want to give him more.  You sink your awaiting mouth back onto his cock once more and moan when another spurt of precum lands on your tongue. Your hand is securely wrapped around the base of his cock as you stroke him slowly and you look back up at him.

He looks absolutely and positively wrecked – his hair falling in front of his eyes and sticking to his forehead as he grits his teeth struggling to not make you take him deeper – to not fuck your throat. His grip on your hair tightens as he starts panting harshly and you feel him twitch in your mouth – you can feel he is almost there – but then he pulls back from you.

He almost lifts you into the air as his tongue delves into your mouth – wanting to taste himself on you. The bitterness of himself on your tongue makes him groan into your mouth and you never expected him to be this vocal. He steps out of his jeans and then he is back on you – his fingers working on the straps of your dress while he plants butterfly kisses on the column of your throat. He discards the piece of clothing as if it has offended him somehow and he pulls back to look at you – you can see the muscle on his thigh flex as he tries to keep his balance on his heels. His hands reach back for you – grabbing you under your knees before he is pulling you closer to him. His fingers dip into the waistband of your panties before they are too thrown somewhere behind him.  

His thick fingers work their way inside you without a warning – two of them plunging deep. You are soft, and pliant under him. Your walls squeeze him tight when he moves his finger up, up – until you sob and grab his wrist - to stop him or to plea for him to keep doing that you aren't sure. It never felt like this and he grins against the flesh of your cheek – kissing you there softly. His other hand grabs one of your tits and he pinches the nipple – it hardens under his hard touch. He bends down to suck it into his mouth and your hand shoots out to the back of his head – keeping him there. One of your thighs is firmly planted on his shoulder and his fingernails dig into your ankle, the blunt nails creating crescent shapes. Your heel digs into his shoulder with a particular shove into your cunt – the tips of his fingers brushing against something that makes you hold your breath.

The way you keep repeating his name makes him want to never leave your perfect cunt. His name and the wet sounds of your pussy sucking him in make him light-headed. He wishes no one would call him Javi again after he hears it from your mouth – whiny and high-pitched, filled with the need to let go.  

“Come on, Bee. I can feel you squeezing me. Fucking give it to me. I want you to soak my fingers.” You nod vigorously and sob when his thumb starts drawing harsh circles against your clit. He hits nerves inside of you you didn’t even knew you had before. You take everything he gives – the flick of his wrist, his fingers petting your walls, his mouth on yours. You cum when he bites you into the juncture between your shoulder and neck – his tongue smoothing the bite. You feel him smile against your mouth when you cry out into him – his fingers still working inside of you until you wheeze and tell him to stop. He pulls them out and maps your body with your juices – the slick trail shining under the moonlight that falls onto the both of you.  

He reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a condom – ripping the foil packet between his teeth before he puts it onto his length. He sits up on his heels – his cock bobbing with the movement and you gulp as he pats his thigh – telling you to come to him and you do – all jelly legged and sedated after your first orgasm. He pulls you close by the small of your back and his cock nudges against your entrance when you swing your legs around his waist. His hairy legs stick to the back of your thighs and you can feel the sweat rolling off him – his hands supporting you as you sink down on him. Your mouth forming into an “o” and you let out a breathless moan. You knew he was big – as his girth opened up your mouth more and the weight of him heavy on your tongue. But this feels entirely different. You squirm on his lap and he grunts – his other hand coming down onto the flesh of your ass. The pinch you feel as he fills you completely is uncomfortable and you grip his bicep – your nails digging into the flesh there. He hisses and kisses you – the kiss languid and slow. His tongue traces your mouth and your grip loosens – your muscles start to relax.

 “Javi, you are so big.” You don’t say him to make him feel better or feed his ego – it's just a fact. Clear and simple. His nose bumps against yours and he looks into your eyes – he is so close he is breathing the oxygen you exhale. 

 “I know, hermosa. But you can take it. Can’t you?” The new term of endearment falling out of his mouth is surprising but welcome nevertheless. He waits for your answer as he fights himself not to move – your walls squeezing around him and he counts to five so he doesn’t cum right now like some kind of fucking teenager.

  Javier slept with a lot of women. One night stands, prostitutes, his fiancé. But he never felt like this with anyone. His heart never hammered in his chest so quickly and the blood in his veins didn’t boil. His skin never felt like it was on fire by a simple touch. It's new and he welcomes it with open arms. He is tired of fighting and running. This is his new life and it's not too bad – it's better than it ever was. He never feels small with you and he chases that feeling.

 “Yes, I can. I can take it. Please move, Javi.” He listens to your command – the first drag of his cock through your walls feels intoxicating. His hot breath fans against your chest as his forehead rests on it and his hand that was gripping your ass moves to your hip – dragging you up and down his cock as you meet his every perfectly measured thrust. He maps your body and listens to your reactions – he figures out what you like or what you really don’t after a few minutes as he pounds into you.

You don’t know which one of you is louder but it makes him even sexier – the guys you’ve been with before weren't so enthusiastic about it and you felt like they didn’t even wanted to be there – the only hint of them enjoying it was when they came with a quiet grunt and fall onto the bed next to you. Javier is different – he always was – and you live for all the sounds he makes. How he gropes you and maps out your body – his fingers dipping into every crease and curve of your body. And you can feel that in each thrust there is this hidden emotion that he doesn’t want to show. But you grew up with him and can read him pretty well – and your heart swells with the unspoken words. You don’t need to hear them. He will figure it out himself eventually.  

He feels that you are close after he gives you a particularly hardh thrust and you squeal – your nails scratching his muscular back that you’ve been ogling anytime he came out of the shower without a t-shirt or when it was too hot outside and decided the piece of clothing wasn’t necessary in that kind of weather. His mustache scrapes along the flesh on your breasts and you feel his hips shift – the change of position making him feel even bigger. He puts his thumb into your mouth as he looks at you and you suck it – it tastes of you and sweat but you don’t care – as he pulls it out and starts rubbing your clit with it.

 It only takes a few drags of his cock before you are cumming – your clit throbbing as he keeps pressure on it. Your walls squeeze him and he feels like he can't move any further. Your fingers curl into his hair and tug him so he is looking at you. He is all lust-blown eyes and his baring teeth turned into a snarl. You can feel every vein and bump in his cock with every thrust and he twitches inside of you – his hand coming to hold the hinge of your jaw as his tongue tangles with yours once again. It's frantic as are his deep thrusts and you are pretty sure he will break the bed soon – the headboard hitting the wall with every pass of his hips. You admire how fucking lost in you he looks – slack-jawed and dazed. You tug on his hair once more and the reaction is almost instant – his hips faltering for a moment seemingly losing his rhythm. 

“Come on, Javi. I want you to look at me when you cum.” Your requests makes him shut his eyes before he shudders and opens them – your name a broken record when he spills into the condom. You scratch him on the back of his head – your movements slow and languid. He pulls out of you after a moment – when he catches his breath and his heartbeat evens out – even though when he is with you it seems impossible. 

The aftercare is soft and sweet as he lays on his back and pulls you close to him – stroking your spine and kissing the top of your head. 

“Do you want me to leave?” He pulls you tighter against him after you ask him that and he grips your chin so you look at him. 

“Never again, Bee. I want you right here with me.” You sigh in contentment and give him a sweet kiss.

 You are definitely his type, Javier thinks as he feels your breath even out and slowly, he falls asleep too – you in his arms – and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[moyokeansimblr]

I saw this set by @clumsyalienn on my dash three days ago and I haven't done anything else but convert and sleep since 😅 So I hope nobody beat me, I couldn't find it but to be fair I didn't really look that hard.

It's all 8 items, including the hairs YES I CONVERTED HAIRS! 😁so that's the Astrid Skirt, Ezra Cardigan, Gwyneth Blouse, Nolan Pants, Rhiannon Hair, Oleander Hair, Odelia Necklace and Sirius Earrings.

Closer up previews of the hairs and accessories as well as info and download below the cut!

Oki so let's start with the clothes. Right now they're adult only, all original colors and have morphs. Shoes are skittlessims. The bottoms are both quite high-waisted and the tops were made to fit them so I can't guarantee how well any of it will look with other tops and bottoms. Also, some of it's a little wonky, especially the Ezra Cardigan which I probably should've started over at least twice but anyways. The bottoms are a little bit higher poly because of the chains, just a note.

The Odelia Necklace is AF/TF and you can choose if you want it in the Glasses or BV Jewelry category. Original 5 colors. I'm not that good at bone assignment yet so it lays a little strange if you look from the side. The Sirius Earrings are AU/TU, also with a choice of Glasses or BV Jewelry but do note that the BV Jewelry version is split into a separate right and left earring because that's the way I prefer whereas the Glasses version is both earrings. Also original 5 colors.

The Oleander Hair is all ages, male only. The Rhiannon Hair is child-elder, female only. 4 colors, binned, gray binned to black. As only my second and third hair conversions ever there may be a few gaps that I missed, and they're not animated because I don't know how to do that but I like how they both turned out 😊

When I started this post by saying I haven't done anything else for three days except convert and sleep I'm not kidding, so I'm a little bit brain-fried so please don't hesitate to tell me if I've forgot anything or anything's wrong!

🌼🌻 Clumsyalien Ambience Set download on Patreon (FREE)

But please consider becoming a patron if you want to show me support or make requests! ❤️🙏 Any support is extremely appreciated and really helps me out!

[agustdiv1ne]

in no particular order, here are my favorite fics that i've read this year!! please show a lot of love to all of these wonderful authors <3 (also please heed their rules, esp for nsfw fics!!)

part of my 2023 wrap up!

@koqabear

um like. quite literally everything sol has posted this year. i am being so serious. check out their masterlist right NEOWWWW and read EVERYTHING

@blackhairedjjun

flowers of every color — i could rave about this series for like 10 hours straight, i'm not even kidding. it's sweet with the perfect amount of angst to really draw you in, i fell in love with every character more and more with each chapter <3 now where is my prince!jjunie :(

@tyunkus

amazon wishlist (m) — me when me when me when roommate!tyun offers to fuck me...god, i need this so bad

@jishyucks

gloves & dittany — OHHHHH how i love this fic...one of the best harry potter aus i have ever read, and with yeonjun?? slytherin!yeonjun!!!! ooooo you really got me good, op <3

bittersweet — *cowboy cat meme* DRUNK SOOOOOOOOOB i think this wins the award for being the cutest fic i read in the year of 2023

@beom-pyu

i can't swim, idiot! (m) — i will never not shut up about this fic...just faking married? with beomgyu?? with feelings involved??? yeah. Yeah <3

like the moon — merman!kai you will always be famous to me, one of my all-time favorites by far!!!!!

@toruro

answers (m) — this academic rival!taehyun fic had me screaming crying gnawing on my leg like wtf mika. how could you do this to me. i am dead now.

@hyukalyptus

something nice (m) — i went SOOOO insane over this fic like the dynamics were just. scrumptious. i love yeonkai i love this fic i love hp for writing this yes yes yes

like, never ever? (m) — ohhhh my god. this one really got me good,, dom best friend!beomgyu giving mc her first orgasm?? sign me tf up !!!!!!

@qqtxt

sway with me — i sent this in for their 1k event i just :')))) i love this so so so much!!!! dancing with yeonjun is my dream, so thank you for taking my request op!! <3

@hueareloved / @huenation

my love mine all mine (m) — the most tender and soft and SWEET nsfw fic i have ever read, so in love with this and sleepy lovesick jjunie AGHH brb rereading this

ditto — ohhhh how i love angst. amor's writing style is beautiful and it made this beomgyu fic that much more heart-wrenching <3

@huckleberrykai

laundry basket (m) — no bc this went CRAZYYY with the perv!mc thing, savored every single word of this kai fic tbh

comfy cozy (m) — CUTE AF. i am the biggest proponent of soft smut and berry writes it so well <3 i loveee soft yeonjun more than life itself

@aduh0308 / @banggyu0308

yeehaw (m) — OKAYYY cowboys!taejun fucking destroyed me like. i don't think i ever recovered from this

berry sorbet (m) — i need kai to be my soulmate rn wtf. cute n sweet and i loved it

@boba-beom

airport crush pt.2 (m) — the minute smiles told me she was working on airport crush pt.2 i passed away. nothing could have prepared me for this fic, it destroyed me in the best way...god, i need yeonjun so bad

trapped in your game (m) — i salivated. i quaked. i (s)creamed. best friend!yeonjun, please hmu </3

@napofamoon / @mazeinthemoon

you're the one love (m) — moonie ATE with this fallen angel!yeonjun fic!! i love sacrilege n this was just sooo hot

@tubatwo

workaholic — this made me giggle and kick my feet so hard...i love you cafe boss taehyun, pls marry me

@hyuk4ngel

honeymoon avenue — i. love. angst. and fay is exceptionally talented at writing it!! taehyun better watch out tho >:(

@mapofthemazeinthemirror / @afterbluehours

untitled (m) — this yeonbin x reader fic is SOOOO hot like. i screamed. i cried. i rolled around in a fetal position because it just made me so insane

@nightlyawnzz

duality (m) — OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GODDDDDDD i think this is one of the hottest kai fics i have ever read in my entire life. i don't often see kai as a hard dom in fics so this opened my eyes (can't wait for the final part!!)

@scintillasofbeomgyu

you are in love — one of my jjunie comfort fics!!! sweet n soft and everything to me :')

@petrichor-han

twenty-three suns (m) — rain's writing style hits me straight in the gut, especially with this summer fling au with taehyun :') lovely yet heart-wrenching and AGHH i love this

@ncteez

untitled (m) — UMMM this camboy!yeonjun fic altered the trajectory of my entire life. i fucking die every time i read this, like it has to be laced with crack or something

menace (m) — this was batshit INSANE LIKEEEE gangster!yoongi fucked me up so bad (in the best way)

@yeonboy

never meet your heroes — ONE OF MY FAVS EVER. LIKE. COLLEGE AU WITH SOOBIN???? I AM SO OBSESSED YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

@ijhyo

how to get the girl — i ate this up SO hard. i just adore both the mc and beomgyu's characters in this, definitely another all-time favorite of mine

@cheolhub

head (m) — SAR YOU WERE INSANE FOR THIS. sub!soobin makes me so feral and this made my brainrot even worse UGHHH

@starbandit

backseat (m) — oh. oh yeah. now this is everything to me, best friend!yeonjun + car sex = a very very happy me

@tonicandjins

learning languages (m) — i don't often read donghyuck fics (or nct fics in general), but this one. oh, this one is beautiful. it made me cry, it made go through so many emotions i just. read this right now, you won't regret it

@heart2beom

cliche — i still vividly remember this first time that i read this, the dialogue is hilarious and it is just sweet n fluffy n AGHH i will forever adore this fic <3

and some more accounts with amazing fics!!!: @majestyjun @hyewka @taegimood @naomiarai @hyuk4sbf @fairyofshampgyu @enha-cafe @moonhoures @wolfytae-exe @dearlyjun @heartchoi @sook9i @tinietaehyun @minastras

a big thank you to all of these writers for sharing your works!! <3

[mrsoftthoughts]

Nico di Angelo headcanons

- He was very confused the firts time that someone called him "Emo"

he doesn't have a clue of what the fuck is that, he just bought up the clothes and accessories that he looks at and thinks "cool"

It was a karen who say that btw, the fact that she only was saying nonsense prob was guilty of Nico confusion too

- both Acts of service and Gifs are his way to show affection to others

He often helps his close friends and Hazel with anything they need, he also would get whatever thing that they expressed to want or need even in the slightest way possible, it doesn't matter if it's expensive af or hard to obtain for any reason, he's getting that thing for later wrap it in pretty paper .

He also buys whatever that he sees and reminds him to someone he loves, New rome postal service is tired of getting packages of the pluto ambassador for the praetor Levesque atleats 3 times at week ( that's not all the things that he gets for hazel, it's just the ones that he doesn't give her face to face)

- He's a polyglot ( i kinda talk about it here)

It was a part of his education back in the 1930s so he doesn't remember a lot of how he learned most of the languages he spokes, or even remembers that he actually spoke that especific language until he is in a situation were is needed

Something funny it's that one of the languages he taked longer to realize that he spoke it, it was greek, like, modern greek, he doesn't know how to feel about that

He also has a inherent understanding of dead languages so he's really good at read ol text of any kind

He also it's kinda a nerd about etymology

- He has a lot of beauty marks

Like, a lot of them, the most noticeable ones ofc are the in his face ( one at the bottom/side of his left eye and above the right eyebrow and two at the left side of his nose and bottom of his lips) but those things are everywhere in his body

- A lot of people feels that his appearance seems out of place, like, something ood to look at without an apparent reason

The things starts to make sense when you put his hair back with a bit of gel and give him a suit, then you realize that he looks like one of those pictures of grandpas when they were young

It can be a bit eerily because, in fact , he is actually from the same generation of those grandpas, that's why he looks like them but due the Lotus he's a teenager instead of an old man

the fact that his appearance it's the definition of a haunting beauty contributes to all that, he's beautiful, there's no a sigle appice of doubt about that, but you can compare the feeling that he evokes to the feeling of looking at a gothic church or the one of being at one of those old and Rich graveyards full of angel's scultures but cover in moss after years of abandonment , beautiful and stunning but also imponent and bone freezing

But hey!! It's also cool, and you can say that he's the antitesis of an iphone face

- Kinda related to the previous one, but his eyes are always changing colours.

It's not like piper tough, her eyes are literally a multicolor spectrum, Meanwhile, Nico's are more like his eyes being shallowed by the deep and dark waters full of misery of the styx, deep ebony black but in constant movement and little forms that looks like ice sublimation

Still, sometimes in moment of pure joy or when hes relaxed his natural color is visible, being a mostly brown iris with little details of grey and deep green like the bark or the fruit of olives

- Has a large collection of silly bands ( you know , the 2000s elastic bands with form of anything you can imagine?) think about any collection of those things and he has it

He also knows how to do those bracelets of bands btw, he uses his fingers for it and as a result he always has the strangulation marks or bruces

- He and Drew ended up being friends

He had that little hunch Drew's attitude having more behind that she just being a Bitch without reason, he was totally right

They aren't attached to the hip or something, there's a lot of things about each other that they don't know or they didn't bothered to ask, but they thrusts each other and are close enough to talk about their life and things they feel can't talk with anyone else every once in a while

Nico's is also drew personal manikin/ken doll for her fashion design projects, he isn't complaining tough, all the clothes are stunning

- Other of his friends is Clovis from hypnos cabin

A lot of people doesn't understand how they have a lot of anecdotes about things they did together, because Clovis is always half sleep or straight up in another world or something during the day

The last part is they key, they literally are in other world, or something like that, dream magic has potential to take the phrase "live your dreams" to another level

- Full grown up , He isn't tall or short, he's just (technically )average

He's 5'9... It taked a time for him to grow up to that point though, he was stuck in 5'5 for a while until he was around 17/18yo

Still, he looks a bit short at the side of most people around him, it's not his fault 90% of the people he knows are fucking giraffes

The fact that a lot of the boys he falls for are... Well, pretty tall ( Solace, Torrington, Grace, yk that you're the ones im talking about) isn't helping neither.

- He has a transatlantic accent ( alongside with a slight Italian accent)

Is a result of learning English as a second language and having both american and British people like reference and not something made on purpose

Is almost vanished after being living in America at the XXI century for the past few years, but you can still hear it in the way he say some words and the fact that his idiolect mix indiscriminately British and American words

Btw, something funny of that is that if you let his guy at the Uk for enough he would totally turn into the other side of the coin and now he picked up the accent of the region were he is at the moment

- He has a wii and a DS ( he later got a 3DS when it was released), nobody knows how the fuck is that he isn't chased by monster 24/7 using that thing

He also end up with a insane amount of amibos once they were released in 2014

- For some reason his collections of anything are in those vitrines that the grandmas uses for the pretty dishes

- He got the standar lobe piercing

usually he just have a pair of black diamons studs ( kinda looks like the diamons by the yard earring of Tiffanys) but sometimes he uses a bajoran or a pair of drops

- Even whe he is older his job is basically being his father second had and ambassador, but a general concense is that he is also a really god tourist guide

Probably he would be turned into a god after he passes away for just be doing exactly what he already was doing as a demigod, just with immortality.

-Despite being Italian and the stereotypes, he was a disaster in the kitchen, the kind of person that you say them to boil 2 glasses of water for the rice and the next thing you now is that 2 cristals glases are straight up in the stove

in his defense, he at best can remember see his Nanny doing something or being with her sister and mother doing some kind of dessert ( his only contribution to that was eating the chocolate)

Now he may not be a five stars chef but he can do pretty good stuff sometimes, he's trying

- He can make pretty concerning "old fashioned" coments sometimes

Alright, he is not an asshole ( at least non on purpose) or something like that, but sometimes while talking he would say things that are the daily reminder of the fact that this guy over there is a white ass boy raised in the 30's decade with the addition of being Born in a pretty much wealthy and probably Noble family and who's whole social interaction with other people that aren't hundred of years old beings has been limited,and that leads to his perspective of society being a bubble of privilege and old high society ethics.

Like, the most of the time if he say something really... Questionable, is because he really never has stopped to think about it and he is just saying what they teach him ,was normal at the time, or is just a comment made of pure ignorance mouth-is-fasther-that-the-brain-tipe.

Sadly for him ( and luckily for the rest of the people that have to hear him) 90% of the times hazel is close when he say that kind of stuff and two of Three times he ends up being hit by the closest thing that was at her hand or for one of her shoes if nothing else is available, the other time its a 50/50, he realizes that he just said something that isn't right or hazel just look at him in full deception mode.

[showtoonzfan]

Hey it’s been a bit! The Mammon episode finally came out, so here’s my review!

Pros:

- The sign language scene was cute. Kinda weird that a kid was seeing a show that was clearly for adults but I love me some representation so it gets a pass.

- Despite Blitz not really needing to be in this episode, I thank god he had little screen time and more time was dedicated to Fizz.

- The fish ladies (despite having wonky color palettes that made them EXTREMELY hard to look at) were cute.

Cons:

- Mammon is so flat and uninteresting but I don’t know what I expected from a creator who always hypes her characters up that always end up being one of the three go-to personalities she picks for her male characters. In Mammon’s case he’s just a loud mouth cursing bum so way to ruin another Deadly Sin and make them boring af, moving on.

- I don’t like how Mammon and Fizz’s relationship are similar of Val and Angel’s, Viv keeps recycling stories, characters and plot lines ect, it makes Angel’s story for Hazbin really predictable/underwhelming and not exciting to look forward too especially since we already have the “mafia bad daddy” aspect to him too that they pulled for Moxxie. I guess the idea of Mammon being a controlling ruler is fine on paper but not much is done with it, Fizz just quits in the end like it was easy with zero consequences so what was all that build up for.

- Fizz himself once again feels REALLY out of character, he’s just too soft compared to how he was introduced in season 1. He’s constantly nervous in this episode and insecure, as well as walking on eggshells, and even in Oops he wasn’t THIS sensitive. I’m all for characters struggling and being kicked down but it has to make sense and not feel forced, and once again it feels like Viv is trying way to hard to make the characters she once introduced as snarky assholes to uwu innocent babies. I refuse to believe Fizz was actually INTIMIDATED by this random geeky imp who insulted him, as well as the fish ladies whom he was weirdly nice and welcoming to. It’s also weird seeing how uncomfortable/nervous he was around his fans when I thought the whole point was that he LOVED praise and loved being famous, at least that was season 1 Fizz. Now he feels retconned. Seeing him say “I just need this gig” is weird too, the explanation to why he went through all of this makes no sense, Fizz still has Ozzie and is famous in the Lust ring, and I understand Mammon is his idle but to go through all that abuse for so long for something that could have been so easily avoided feels forced to fit the plot, but it also makes Fizz look dumb.

- There’s confusing lore stuff regarding Mammon and Ozzie, and it makes me realize that Viv should have picked ONE storyline aka ONE Seven Deadly sin to go with Fizz’s story because this is getting mixed up. Fizz acts like if he looses this completion, he looses everything, which confused the heck out of me because no he wouldn’t have? First of all, Ozzie is a fucking powerful sin, how would you loose him? Second, from what we know from season 1, Fizz is a jester who performs at Ozzie’s club. It was Ozzie who built the sex robots across the rings of hell, NOT Mammon, and in season 2 we see that Fizz is under Ozzie’s care and lives in his house. Yet for some weird reason Mammon also represents Fizz and uses him for profit, but it’s not really explained in a way that makes sense, like Love’s art had said in her Fizz redesign video, Fizz’s job is really confusing on what exactly he does. Having both Ozzie and Mammon represent him overcomplicates things and the show did a poor job at explaining how this goes.

- Once again Viv dumps trauma and struggle onto her characters without building it up first. When did Fizz ever give off the impression that he was being controlled or abused, or even that he was so insecure and constantly walked on eggshells to be perfect. In Oops he was happy to be in the spotlight and happy to get the attention, he bragged to Blitz about how successful he was. He seemed happy to perform for Mammon and talked of him highly, and now you’re pulling an Angel Dust situation where he’s expected to be perfect 24/7 and it gets to him emotionally, while also being someone who’s physically and mentally abused. Yet another season 2 episode that wasn’t planned, same as how Millie wanting to feel important wasn’t planned, same as how Stolas seeing Blitz as genuine love wasn’t planned. Different episode, same issues.

- I’m so done with the Hell lore bro, this place officially has no rules and demons can just do anything without consequences. There’s no class system, there’s no rankings, there’s no power dynamics, screw anything that Viv says. There was no fucking reason why Ozzie and Fizz’s relationship needed to be a secret. There was no reason showing Ozzie threatening his workers to not tell anyone about his love life if he was just going to admit it to EVERYONE THE NEXT EPISODE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER SIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME— what was the POINT. What is the point of Stolas and Blitz’s conflict. What is the point of Stella being classist. What is the point of these class systems and rules if you can just announce that you technically broke a hell rule and no one gives a fuck and you get off scott free. Mammon telling Ozzie “you’ll regret that” like a cartoon villain doesn’t do anything either. What is he ganna do? Tell Lucifer, the character that canonically won’t appear in HB because the sins won’t appear in HH? If Lucifer rules over the sinners, who the fuck is in charge for the rest of Hell. Where’s the authority? And Mammon is just ganna come back for another episode to give the gang trouble cause lord knows we don’t have enough fucking villains already.

- It feels weird that Ozzie would just sit back while someone whom he knows is a piece of shit is treating his loved one badly. I get he was concerned but you’d think one of the seven deadly sins would have more power and authority.

- I was expecting some big gross bug-like thing to appear when Mammon was transforming into his final form, only for it to the exact same design but with small extra eyes and a spider lower half that isn’t even visible in most shots….GOD VIV.

Watching this episode also made me remind myself that this is supposed to be Hell. Seeing Fizz feel better and stand up for himself was sweet but these soft lessons and morals don’t belong in a show like this, and it’s extra aggravating regarding Viv’s double standard, how she can just pick and choose which characters she wants to be evil and which characters are saints. Overall not anywhere near the worst episode of season 2, but I am officially done with Helluva Boss so-

[smoshyourheadin]

spencer agnew enemies to lovers one bed trope

The Start Of Something

pairing: spencer agnew x f!reader

a/n: GUYS IM SO SORRY I KEEP POSTING SO SLOW I HAVE NO MOTIVATION MY BAD THIS IS LIKE RLLY BAD AND RUSHED LMAO I DONT LIKE IT i have better stuff otw i promise (also anon ily for this!!) requests are open <3

working at smosh is pretty great. you’ve been working there about two years now as a producer on smosh games, and you’ve made some darn good videos. the people are amazing, it’s so fun working with literal comedians all day. damien is so kind, shayne is so smart, courtney is so witty, ian is so… morbid? either way, everyone there is family to you. the one thing you don’t like however? spencer.

it all started during your first big project at smosh. you and spencer were both assigned to lead a new series of board af. excited to prove yourself, you put in countless hours to make sure everything was perfect. however, spencer, being spencer, dismissed your detailed plans, opting instead for a spontaneous approach, leading the episodes to be messy, and all around bad quality.

every day at the office is a battlefield. Spencer’s snide comments about your meticulousness clash with your jabs about his unpredictability.

“nice color-coded schedule you got there,” spencer says with a smirk as he passes your desk. “did you plan your bathroom breaks too?”

you roll your eyes, not missing a beat. “at least i won’t forget to show up to work on time, unlike some people.”

he scoffs and walks away, and you smirk to yourself because of how annoyed he gets.

you grew up in a structured environment, where planning and precision were key to success. your parents, both engineers, drilled into you the importance of preparation and hard work. spencer, on the other hand, thrived in chaos. raised in a floridian household with artists for parents, he learned to ‘embrace’ spontaneity and creativity, when in reality he’s just a lazy piece of shit, and this fundamental difference in your upbringings is your reasoning for the friction.

the entire smosh crew is buzzing with excitement for the upcoming vid con. however, ian and anthony made a slight mistake: not enough rooms. as luck would have it, you’ve been assigned to share a room with spencer, and, of course, there’s only one bed.

“great,” you mutter, staring at the single bed. “this is just perfect.”

spencer shrugs. “we’re adults. we can handle this. or are you upset this’ ruined your plans?”

you shove him off, tongue in cheek, and put your bags down.

“yeah, well, i guess we’ll just have to make do,” you reply, mustering a half-hearted smile as you unpack.

that night, as you both lie awkwardly side by side, you can’t help but talk. the conversation starts stilted but gradually, you begin to share your perspectives. you explain how his disregard for plans made you feel undervalued. spencer admits he never realized how much effort you put into your work and how his actions might have come across.

after that night, some subtle changes begin to occur between you both. one day, you catch spencer glancing your way with what seems like concern when you’re stressed. you find yourself defending his unconventional methods when others criticize him.

one day, you witness spencer dealing with a personal crisis - a call from his dad that leaves him visibly shaken. as you’re the only person who saw him, you offer him a shoulder to lean on. that day, you see a side of him that’s vulnerable and human, softening your attitude further, almost affectionate toward him.

as you start getting along better, both of you struggle with your growing feelings. you’re plagued by internal conflict, denying what’s becoming increasingly obvious. spencer starts bringing you coffee in the mornings, and you find yourself lingering in conversations with him to try and stay in his company.

a crisis at smosh forces you both to confront your true feelings. a huge chunk of footage from shayne’s turn on tntl is accidentally deleted, and the blame game begins. in the heat of the argument, spencer snaps, “why do you hate me so much?”

the words hang in the air, and you both freeze. finally, you confess, “i don’t hate you. i don’t think i ever hated you. i think i was just scared that my efforts would never be enough.”

spencer steps closer, his eyes softening. “i didn’t realize. i thought you just… hated me.”

you break. hot tears sting your face, and you bring your hoodie sleeves to your eyes to prevent your mascara from running. he wraps you in a hug, and you sob into his shoulder.

in the end, you and spencer are inseparable. the crew notices the change, teasing you both about your newfound closeness, especially angela who you used to complain to about him. you’re all lovey dovey now, finding joy in each other’s company and embracing the weird balance you bring to each other’s lives.

[changbokkii]

•💛Dating Chishiya Shuntaro💛•

•𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬•

I feel like Chishiya would deny his feeling for the longest. And I mean THE LONGEST. But after a few months he’ll actually accept his feelings for you.

But I also feel like he wouldn’t confess first. But he’ll also give subtle hints. Like his eyes would be on yours than a second longer than needed.

I think if you had a crush on him first he’ll definitely figure it out in a short period of time. (Bc he smart af) I also feel like he’ll tease you just to see you blush then walk away

•𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬•

I feel like he would be subtle when it comes to kisses. Unless you’re getting intimate it’s just a small peck to your lips, nose, forehead, or cheek. When y’all are getting intimate he’ll let his hands roam around your body

If it’s a simple peck he’ll probably caress your cheek and that’s it. But he is not and I repeat NOT a fan of PDA. But it is a bit disappointing but if he does do affection in public it’s just hand holding.

•𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬•

He doesn’t really get jealous but when he does he is the pettiest little bitch ever. If someone is really close to you he makes sure that person dies in the next game their in.

And Kuina knows that he can be VERY overprotective and she knows VERY well to back off. And so does Arisu, Usagi, and even Ann (even though there’s a 1% chance she’s interested in you because both Chishiya and Ann are hard to pull)

He is also jealous of more than half of your friends too. But you keep reminding him that y’all are just really close friends:)

- M O R E H E A D C A N N O N S -

If you beg him enough he’ll let you get a cat

If you get extremely hurt like a car accident and you’re brought to the hospital he works at he’ll be so so so so so so so so concerned (I might turn that into a story)

As I said he’ll get jealous of anyone you talk to

No one knows his favorite color or his birthday for that matter

He has feelings and you probably only know that

Don’t argue with him because it will feel like you’re talking to a wall 🙂

He listens to you because he knows how it feels to be ignored (I’m talking about his childhood yall)

He’ll definitely get you horny then walk away

Once he kissed you in public and Kuina was shocked

He let you do makeup on him (I might turn that into a story too 🙂)

He’s a VERY good listener

He’s excited when you two go shopping but doesn’t show it

——————————-

I hope yall enjoyed that because this was a bit hard than I thought 🙂

[cultofcreatures]

My Top 15 Vaporwave Horror Movies

I thought I would put together a list of vaporwave/dreamcore/liminal aesthetic horror movies that I find to feel outside of time and space. That's sort of my vibe here on tumblr, and I also like the mantra of "if there's something you want to see that no one has made yet, make it yourself." These are films that I personally love, and the list not meant to be definitive. Remember also that art is subjective. I hope someone out there finds at least one film they want to add to their watchlist! It's been a minute since I've seen some of them, so let me know if I need to correct something.

15. Mandy (2018)

I wish I could add pictures for all of these entries, but I can still only add 10 pictures to a post blah. It's such a shame because I wanted to show off that gorgeous aesthetics of all these films. Oh well. This is a revenge flick about a cult kidnapping Nick Cage's girlfriend and him losing his marbles about it. Definitely recommend if you're the mood for vibes and/or Nick Cage NickCageing.

TW: violence, blood, fire

14. Come True (2020)

This is a haunting, fantastic vibes movie. It feels so otherworldly. It's about a homeless young person participating in a sleep study to be able to safely get some sleep. It would be an almost perfect film if it weren't for the just garbage ending. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, just skip the last 5 minutes, and take it for what the rest of the film is: beautiful.

13. Braid (2018)

This film follows a couple of young drug dealers on the run from their supplier crashing at a mentally unwell friend's house. The catch is they have to play along with their host's unhinged "game" while they hide out. Not gonna lie, this film is trippy af and definitely not for everyone. I can guarantee that no matter what, it is a ride.

TW: heavy drug use, blood

12. Perfect Blue (1997)

A pop star retires to become a full-time actor, which angers some of her fans. Her sense of reality becomes warped when one obsessive fan begins to stalk her. I don't love some of the turns this movie takes when it comes to mental health, but it's hard to deny this film is classic that has stunning animation.

TW: negative depictions of mental disorders, violence, blood

11. Skinamarink (2022)

This controversial found footage movie is sort of hard to describe because it's so otherworldly. Basically, two kids wake up one night to find their dad and all of their doors and windows are missing. Everything about this nostalgic yet terrifying film is vibes and aesthetic: liminal, vaporwave, voidcore, dreamcore, you name it. It feels like a fever dream, and it's a nightmarish journey you won't soon forget, for better or worse.

10. Vivarium (2019)

A couple are looking for a home to share. They follow a strange realtor to an even stranger labyrinthine neighborhood that seems to have no escape. If you're into liminal spaces, this film will definitely scratch that itch for you.

9. Revenge (2017)

This is a r*pe revenge tale that has absolutely beautiful scenery and cinematography. I love the sweeping liminal landscapes and vibrant vaporwave colors. It's a standard plot as far as the genre goes, but it's directed by a woman, so it has a different angle that I find to be superior to most films of the genre.

TW: violence, gore, SA, blood

8. Don't Worry Darling (2022)

A 1950s housewife begins to suspect that something about her utopian community is not what it seems. This film seems to be a bit controversial, too, for some reason. Whatever the case may be, I adore the liminality and dreamy feel of this film. You really get a sense that this world is outside of time and space.

7. It Follows (2014)

This film is straight up about a sexually transmitted curse. Jay sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time, and then finds out she must outpace this demon that can take the shape of anyone forever lest it kill her, or she must pass the curse on to someone else. The shots in this film are to die for. Especially for connoisseurs of the liminal, vaporwave, and dreamcore. Highly recommend for the visuals and music alone.

TW: gore, blood

6. House (1977)

Gorgeous decides to stay with her aunt to hopefully get closer with a group of six of her friends. The girls come to find her aunt's house is more than meets the eye. The visuals and absurdity are what make this movie. It's a classic for a reason.

TW: cartoon gore

5. Akira (1988)

Tetsuo gains psychic abilities via a secret military project and becomes mad with power. It's up to his friends and a small group of psychics to stop him. This is another classic anime. Its 1980s futuristic mentality really lends itself to the vaporwave atmosphere of the cityscape. I highly recommend this classic if you haven't seen it.

TW: violence, body horror

4. Censor (2021)

Enid is a serious film censor with a shrouded past that includes her long-missing sister. She watches a film that bears eerie resemblance to her vague childhood memories that begin to take hold of her as tries to piece them together. I don't think I'm totally clear on when this film takes place, which is what I love about it. It has a spooky surreal quality that will both draw you in and unsettle you.

TW: violence, blood

3. She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Amy is convinced she is going to die tomorrow. Her friend Jane comes by to comfort her, and then becomes consumed by the thought she will die tomorrow as well. This film is as strange as it is beautiful. It will either leave you in tears or confused af or both.

TW: blood

2. The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse is a very young, gifted model who is new in town (probably LA). She quickly signs with an agent and begins getting gigs, breeding the contempt of the established models around her. This is probably one of the most visually appealing films I've ever seen. The music is on point. The low key acting is a vibe. I just adore this film. 10/10, highly recommend.

TW: gore, blood

1. The Platform (2019)

A man wakes up in a prison that is an indescribable liminal pit where there are a seemingly never-ending number of levels. A platform full of food is lowered through each level once a day, and everyone on the lower levels must fight to survive. This film is just so utterly anticapitalist and gorgeous that I can't help but sing its praises. I think everyone should watch this movie at least once. It is horrifying yet eye-opening. Certainly one of my favorite films of all time.

TW: gore, violence, blood

Thank you for reading my list! Like I said, I wanted to make a list like this because I couldn't find one when I went looking. I hope you found something to add to your watchlist! I tried to include some of the big TWs for these movies, but they're far from complete lists. So please check websites like doesthedogdie.com for more complete TW lists if you have any concerns. Make decisions that are right for you. Thanks again, and have a happy and safe new year! xx

[mask-of-prime]

TLG: Final 10 Episodes Sketch Dump

September 2nd once again fell on a Labor Day, like it once did when the final 10 episodes of TLG dropped on WatchTLG (due to its early release on the old DisneyNOW app). The alignment of the exact day, month, and holiday five years later put me in the spirit to sketch away as I rewatched these episodes.

I was there when the countdown on the WatchTLG site had about an hour left. I hadn't seen a full episode of TLG until that point because I at the time thought I wouldn't be into it. I saw the synopses for these episodes leaked somewhere online and was doubtful yet VERY hopeful that the one with Vitani's Lion Guard was going to be a real episode simply because I wanted to see her in new content, regardless of my familiarity with the show.

When I binge-watched these final episodes with a friend, my relationship with the show improved as I went to watch the rest of the show over the next few months. I was so grateful to see so much content and worldbuilding for the TLK universe

Sketch descriptions under the cut:

1. Friends to the End

I've said this before in a review of this episode, but whether or not the writers intended this, their portrayal of irritability brought on by an anxiety attack is astounding. Kion's anxiety is piled up more and more when he's in a hurry to find a cure at the Tree of Life, Bunga repeatedly tells him he's becoming like Scar, and the rest of the group just "blind leading the blind"-in their journey SO badly because they're a bunch of unsupervised freshman-aged kids who are in their "Well I wouldn't go THAT far" or "Can I be the devil's advocate" phase.

This situation of fearing becoming like a shitty family member and being told you are by people when you're already in a vulnerable state is just SO vile and unfortunately so real. I found myself relating hard to this episode due to Kion's valid af anger in this episode, which is why I had to draw Kion claiming his "Don't you just wanna go apeshit??" era.

Kion is basically me throughout this episode and the entire first half of Season 3. It is SO HARD to get through this season sometimes when these same couple of lines keep coming at least once per episode. As soon as I hear Fuli saying "Uhh... Kion?" or "KION!!" I know exactly what's coming.

2. The Tree of Life:

Since we never get to see Sahasi and Ananda's color palettes they had in life, I took what I could make out from their spirit forms as well as some creative liberties, and came up with what they may have looked like on Earth.

Ananda is where Baliyo gets his freckles and dull, dark pelt, and where Rani gets her purple pupils, red nose, and dark tail. Sahasi is where Rani gets her richer pelt and where Baliyo gets his nose gradient, multicolored mane, and lighter tail color.

Fun Fact: According to some email responses from a member of the team who worked on TLG, they said that Sahasi was meant to be Janna's son, which for me, puts an end to a debate I had in my head where I was stuck between either him or Ananda being Janna's child: On one hand, I liked the idea of Sahasi and Surak being the foils of Mufasa and Scar, but also liked the idea of Ananda as Janna's daughter and heir since they looked so alike, as well as it solidifying the martriarchy headcanon I have for the Night Pride. Though the team member didn't straight-up provide Sahasi's relation to Janna and Surak as an absolute fact, rather it was simply the gist they got from the creation of Sahasi's character, it's an answer from a team member at all, which I can absolutely settle with. I decided to give him a similar fur color to Surak because of that.

3. The River of Patience:

I just HAD to doodle eepy Kion. It's like the one part of this episode that sticks with me outside the wholesome therapy dynamics and Kion heroically holding the flower between his teeth. This is basically him but if he fully succumbed to falling asleep waiting for the log.

4. Little Old Ginterbong:

Can I just say that I fucking LOVE Mama Binturong's character?? She's absolutely insane and constantly looks like an addict that needs her fix. She makes me nostalgic for some reason, and I think it's gotta do with her Mama Gunda vibes (which is odd because I wasn't even that young when I saw Tarzan II). I had to draw her doing the thing lol

5. Poa the Destroyer:

All I could think about throughout this episode besides the rare Evil Beshte is how insufferable Pinguino is. I mean it in kind of a good way, his personality is so ridiculous that he's made me laugh a few times.

6. Long Live the Queen:

Surprisingly, the sketch regarding this episode is probably the least expected subject matter out of anything I could've put here: An idea that's been forming in my head for a bit now was the idea of Bunga and Binga continuing the fostering/babysitting business of Bunga's "uncles". Bunga is shown to be a natural with young animals in a few episodes, and it continues in the subplot of this episode where he watches over Varya's cubs.

7. The Lake of Reflection:

The one thing that viscerally stuck with me in this episode was the unbelievably cute design they gave bby Cheezi. Had to sketch him.

8. Triumph of the Roar:

Obligatory Askari sketch because I actually love drawing him and making headcanons of his era. Looking back... he kinda looks like he's looking down at the events of the bottom drawing in slight disappointment.

9. Journey to the Pride Lands:

Drew Azaad (for what I think might be the first time) with the only thing he seemed to be doing throughout this episode -- taking any opportunity he can to comment about how much better cheetahs are at basically everything. He's fun to draw and I'd like to do more art of him one day.

10. Return to the Pride Lands

This is a sketch of what I deadass thought was gonna happen during this scene the first time I saw this episode lmao. At the time, the previous two episodes were fresh on my mind so I thought Kion was once again going to spam his tornado ability, but with Vitani as his subject for his demonstration. She already knew so little of the Roar as it was, given her absence throughout most of TLG's storyline, but could you imagine what she must've been thinking seeing how much Kion's Roar evolved?

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Re: Ana "because news about it never reached them, suggests that Swift's PR was actively squashing them. "

Yep! They definitely wanted to avoid liability and was able to spin most of the bad press because -wait for it- US swiffers dont read Portuguese. Most of the articles discussing the death of Ana (and the injuries of over 1000 fans and the death of the robbery victim before the show) were in Portuguese as many of the rightfully critical sources were Brazil based. This gave swifts team the upper hand and could just say whatever she wanted because who's gonna google translate when they can absolve mother immediately. Swift/her team claimed she contacted Ana's family privately, the family (I believe her cousin and sister) replied to the announcement on twitter that she did not. Then she actually reached out and invited them to take a pic with her. Yknow with the woman who was responsible for their relatives death. PR also released all sorts of Travis lovey dovey, and holiday plan articles. The only things I've seen in English were random relationship bullshit and some article that mentioned how frizzy her hair looked in Brazil. It was 100% a coverup; I think they knew they'd be liable for negligence and distanced themselves as much as possible. While still making tons of money.

Also I'm sure it's obvious but she's racist as fuck and does not care about her fans of color. She wouldn't even stay in Brazil during that bit. She flew to one of her houses every night. Not white af Scotland though, they need to hydrate ✨✨

Oh yeah- I also saw a lot of cover up stories. I saw so many fans posting to insta about how out-of-breath Taylor looked- yet none of those people were talking about the literal death and hospitalizations occurring around her. They were only talking about how hard it must have been for Taylor Swift to sing in those conditions- and "omg look how much Mother cares about us"

Gimme a break-

I wish I never see another article about Taylor Swift's hair being frizzy ever again! or another article about her stupid football boyfriend.

Swift sure does use the media to cover up her shitty life choices a lot for someone who also claims the media is constantly bullying her.

Dear Taylor Swift, which is it? Are you a victim of the media- or do you have enough media outlets in your pocket now to keep you forever absolved of any wrongdoing?

Can you imagine that your family member just died at a concert- and the Musician of that Concert essentially went "Whoops, how about a photo-op? That's enough recompense, right?"

How utterly crass- Shameful.

Anyway- yeah I am also getting bad vibes from the fact that she's been so caring about people in the USA and UK- yet everywhere else it seems like she just doesn't care.

Bad, Bad, Racist, vibes from that one.

[yelenasdiary]

Little!reader request! CG/sisters Nat and Yelena

Just a bunch of fluff of reader and her cgs who happen to be her sisters from the red room watching bluey together

Family Time

Pairing: Caregivers! Natasha Romanoff & Yelena Belova x Little! Reader

Summary: After finally getting you to settle down after a sugar high, your older sisters sit and watch your favourite cartoon together.

Comfort | No Warnings | 0.7K | 

AC: I’m Australian and I’ve never seen bluey, lmao. But I hope you enjoy this x also, please note, I am not a little and I write this purely based of research. If I have said anything incorrect, please don’t hesitate to message me via DM or asks. 

It was Yelena who had given you some soda in your sippy cup, maybe a mistake when she noticed how hyper you had gotten but it was hard for her to say no to her younger sister when you gave her your signature puppy eyes. She tried everything to get you to settle down before Natasha would return from the store, but nothing worked to keep your attention. Sitting down in the living room, surrounded by your toys and favorite plushies, she offered to do some arts and crafts with you. 

"But can't find crayons!" you pouted as Yelena placed your coloring book on the table. "Well, when was the last time you had them?" Yelena asked, unsure of where they'd be. 

"Sissy took them!" you replied, crossing your arms across your chest. 

To Yelena's relief, Natasha walks through the door with a welcoming smile. "Sissy! Where's crayons?" you asked as you sat down at the coffee table and opened up your coloring book. "If you're going to ask like that, you won't get them" Nat replies with a raised brow, reminding you to use your manners. 

"Sorry" you pouted, "can I please have my crayons?" you asked once more. 

Natasha whispered to Yelena that they were on top of the refrigerator. She had placed them there to stop you from chewing on them, snapping them in half or drawing on the walls. Yelena grabbed them and placed them in front of you before grabbing another one of your coloring books to join you. 

"Thank you Sis!" you smiled before grabbing an orange crayon. 

Natasha made peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, cutting off the crusts for you otherwise you wouldn't eat it. She filled your sippy cup with apple juice and placed it on your small plastic table. 

Since your older sisters saved you from Red Room, they've learnt a lot about you, things they didn't know before and together, they work as one to help give you everything you need. They love you more than life itself, you're their baby sister so anything you need, they'll do it. 

Given the events that took place in Red Room it was no surprise that your Psychologist informed your sisters that you age regress as a form of dealing with the trauma of Red Room. Both sisters did their research and they best to make sure you always felt comfortable and safe when you were feeling little, some days were harder than others. 

"Are you ready for lunch?" Nat came into the living room with another soft smile, you nodded before you realized how hungry you were then raced to your table. Natasha chuckled, "somebody is hungry!" she commented as she and Yelena followed you into the dining room. 

It was important to them that when you were feeling little that they help create a whole different childhood for you, everything mattered, even to the tiniest details. Mealtimes were to be eaten in the dining room as a family and there was a routine, they followed that they learned you loved and reacted well too. 

"After lunch wanna watch bluey" you spoke after taking a bite of your sandwich. 

"I'm sure we can watch bluey before your nap" Yelena replied, Natasha nodding in agreement, "do you want to change into your bluey shirt beforehand?" Nat asked. You nodded with excitement. 

For your birthday, Yelena had a shirt made just for you of your favorite Bluey character. The shirt brought you plenty of comfort and joy and you always wore it when you would watch the show. 

After lunch, Nat helped you change into your Bluey shirt before you both joined Yelena on the sofa who had already got Bluey ready. You made yourself comfortable between your two sisters, resting your head on Natasha's shoulder as you began to suckle your thumb. Yelena pressed play and watched as your eyes instantly lit up. 

Plenty of chuckles were shared between the three of you as you grew more and more tired as it came closer to your nap time. Yelena reached for a throw blanket before throwing it over the three of you. After a handful of episodes, you were softly snoring with your head still resting comfortably on Natasha's shoulder. 

The two older sisters smiled softly at one another, finally able to have family time like they had always dreamt of.

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @jeyramarie | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @observeowl  | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @get-the-fuck-outta-here | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @crescent-witch | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | 

[creatingblackcharacters]

I’ll submit one of my fave Black characters, Camille Saroyan from Bones (2005)!

She becomes the head of the forensic department of the Jeffersonian in something like season 2 or 3 and then stays for the rest of the show. She’s both charismatic and brilliant, she was the youngest medical examiner ever in NYC before she came to the Jeffersonian. She’s highly practical yet has a lot of heart and humor.

When one of her exes from a decade earlier dies, she adopts his high school aged daughter and finishes raising her, and despite a rocky beginning, the two of them grow to fully embrace their new mother-daughter relationship.

Cam also has a deeply sweet and passionate romance with one of her coworkers, Arastoo Vaziri, a fellow scientist of color and a devout Muslim. He writes her poetry and they support each other through thick and thin.

Cam is very duty-bound and takes her role as a forensic medical examiner seriously. As a leader she sometimes chooses to do it the hard way, even when her subordinates disagree. And she’s usually right to do it. She makes those hard choices and often they end up being the right choice, even though the decision costs her some momentary comfort. But she’s still given the space to make mistakes. She juggles the science, the law, and her interpersonal relationships and sometimes she drops the ball, but her friends and family and coworkers (some of those categories overlap ❤️) are always ready to support her and forgive her.

And lastly when she’s happy, her smile could light up a whole room. ☺️

Black women with forensics backgrounds stand UP! Camille's brilliant AF fr, bc being a medical examiner is hard. Her hair looks very 2005 media too lol 😅; I wonder what she'd wear now if this were released. Her man writing her poetry 🥹🥹 I've always loved the idea of characters getting poetry or sung to as a part of love. Not in real life, I'd die of mortification. But in stories? My JAM!

[moyokeansimblr]

Riannon07 Patreon Requests 2

More patreon requests for @riannon07 🥳

It's Madlen's Perla Outfit and Valeria Shoes, Madlen's Elin Outfit, Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla's Bodycon Bandage Dress and Sifix's Desdemona Dress. The Elin Outfit and Bodycon Bandage Dress are paired with shoes converted by ImaginaryBoutique. On e-neilan's bodyshape and bobbyth's bootylicious bodyshape as you've asked.

Info and download link below the cut ⬇️

Alright let's get into it, starting with Madlen's Perla Outfit and Valeria Shoes. AF only, has morphs. Original colors, swatch included. Not all shoe colors. This was my first time converting heels (and only second time converting shoes) so the normals are a little wonky, apologies if there's weird lighting and shadows on them. Polycount is aprox 9k.

Madlen's Elin Outfit is AF only, and it has a fat morph but the preg morph wasn't looking right. Original colors, swatch included. Shoes are DallasGirl79 Hana Dorsay Pumps (converted by ImaginaryBoutique). Polycount is aprox 11k.

Sifix's Desdemona Dress is AF only, has morphs. Original colors, swatch included. No feet/shoes. Has some wonky bones. Because of how many vertices the dress has I had a hard time seeing them to manually adjust the bones that weren't right. So it's a little weird in the back and frequently clips on itself when the sim moves. Apologies. Polycount is aprox 15k ❗

Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla's Bodycon Bandage Dress is AF only, and it does not have morphs. Original colors, swatch included. Shoes are MMSIMS Dunk Low Sneakers (converted by ImaginaryBoutique). This was by far the least successful of the conversions and I don't think I did a very good job tbh. My attempts to teach myself polycount reduction have been unsuccessful, and the higher the polycount the harder it is for me to see what I'm doing. The polycount is ❗ aprox 23k ❗like I swear it looked like it had snowed in milkshape there were so many vertices 😅 I'd like to reconvert this sometime in the future when I figure out poly reducing, but I still wanted to challenge myself to convert it now. Bones are pretty odd during some movements. I hope it's at least a little bit usable. Also, there's a dark spot on the back but it's a part of the texture 🤔 I wasn't comfortable enough with my editing skills to remove it.

Anyways,

🌺 Madlen's Perla Outfit and Valeria Shoes, Madlen's Elin Outfit, Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla's Bodycon Bandage Dress and Sifix's Desdemona Dress download on Patreon (FREE)

But please consider becoming a patron if you want to show me support or make requests! ❤️🙏 Any support is extremely appreciated and really helps me out!

[incorrectelswordquotes]

Do you remember when the job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests? Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too. Ice statues had to be crafted, and the ingredients would just pile up in your inventory. There was Unique equipment for every region you had a chance to drop after a boss battle, and it'd be shown in the chat. Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing. Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped. The first field introduced was the one between Hamel and Velder. The level cap was 40 and it was *hard* to get there.

I sure don't miss a lot of this stuff, but looking back, it feels like a wholly different game.

i played around when the game was still like this for the most part, except the level cap at the time was 70? and then over time it jumped to 90 but my middle-school/high-school ass couldn't keep up. actually, i remember seeing the new UI the game has for the health bars and that was already enough to throw me off. not that it looks bad, but i remember seeing this UI for the longest time:

vs this:

like as much as i miss the one i got acquainted with, this new one is a lot simpler and cleaner? yet it retains that cartoony vibe with the slanted bars so thats neat. and then there's THIS:

i'll admit i havent played during this era but man this looks busy af. it was simple yea, but something feels off about it. like i love the look here too but it kinda clashes colors-wise. there's not too much of a difference between the original UI and the one after it but i could tell it needed slimming down.

while i was gone i also learned that the previous privately-hosted server VoidEls was shut down but was eventually replaced by another, which is fair enough i guess.

"Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too."

this was both cool and annoying, for me personally at least. it's cool in that every town having gear gave you a way to progress before getting even stronger gear. sort of like a jumping-off point for every town you got to as they handed you their own version of stuff you could use. and you could emulate their aesthetic by wearing their gear. the annoying part is that constantly switching gear means item management is necessary to prevent your inventory from maxing out, and not every item looked good on you. if you didn't have skins? tough luck. (my memory might be wrong here so please correct me if i messed something up)

"...job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests?"

THEY GOT RID OF THOSE!? maybe im jaded but as a writer, i liked seeing the player-characters' personal struggle as they progressed through a job-specific mission. those short cutscenes let us see what they're really like. even if some of the requirements really were trash. i still remember spamming the same dungeon over and over hoping for a quest drop (or multiple) so i can move on. but after hearing the story was consolidated to be one singular, linear path regardless of who you played, maybe they streamlined the job class progression system too?

update: yea it seems you still have to spam dungeons to upgrade to Master Class but it looks less tedious than before for previous class ranks.

"Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing."

boss accessories were the bane of my existence so this makes sense. it seems like it's unobtainable, as many overworld zones and dungeons have since been removed based on what i just looked up

im assuming Plant Overlord isn't fightable anymore or only shows up in some elite zone now so rip

"Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped."

i didn't know this. in fact when i checked her wiki page, the change was because her hair wasn't green enough despite her class art showing her as having green-hued hair.

speaking of the wiki,

holy fucking shit thats a lot of classes

[celticbotanart]

the other day on bluesky I made one of those "1 like / 1 song" sort of post, and I decided to make all songs BR music to celebrate our BR community in there, and I decided to also put a brief description on each song to give non-BRs some context [LINK to the post on bsky!] Well, I got like 64 likes lmao so I made a playlist out of the post - here it is!

and to those curious, I'll also paste the context I gave behind each song, down the cut. BR music is SO incredible and so full of colors and variety, you guys should really give it a try 💚💛💙 I hope you like it!!

commission info | patreon | Ko-fi | VGen | bluesky

1. Caxangá - Elis Regina and Milton Nascimento Opening the thread with two of the biggest singers in our BR history, Milton Nascimento & Elis Regina (who has passed already years ago, unfortunately). They were best friends when she was still alive, and their synergy is out of this world, both with super unique voices <3

2. Domingo no Parque or "Sunday at the Park" - Gilberto Gil & Os Mutantes BR used to have these big music festivals back in the 60s, this is one of these performances. Gil is this larger than life singer, and Rita Lee,lead singer of Mutantes (RIP) was so full of energy too <3 This is a song about love and jealousy that ends in a tragic murder 👀 3. Construção or "Construction" - Chibo Buarque I'm only bringing the big guns to this thread lmao this song is NOTORIOUS for the way it was written, musically and lyrically. It's a protest song commenting about the BR dictatorship (1964-1985) in many layers. The orchestra here is insane, mimicking the sound of a busy traffic!

4. Faraó or "Pharao" - Margareth Menezes this song is iconic AF in so many levels!! Lots of African-BR influences, and Margareth sings about the golden era of Egyptian gods as a way to celebrate the black community <3 (pretty much a fast course on Egyptian mythology in the lyrics, no joke!) 🚨🚨🚨EU FALEI FARAÓOOOOOOO!!!🚨🚨🚨

5. A Vingança de Cunhã, or "Maiden's Revenge" - Pietá this one's about the boto(river dolphin)myth we have here(river dolphin turns into a man to seduce young women and leaves them after). Here the dolphin seduces this girl but she reverse-uno-cards him and he cant shapeshift anymore. Very pretty song full of BR folk instruments!💛

6. Malandragem or "Trickery"(???I guess??) - Cássia Eller time to show what BR music is widely known for:LESBIAN / BISEXUAL / WLW SINGERS lmao (I'm so serious!!) Cassia Eller (RIP!) had the most unique voice, and had such a great stage energy! This one is one of her most well-known performances in an MTV Acoustic <3

7. Nós or "Us" - Cássia Eller bc I can't get enough of Cassia, I'll add in another one from her, legit MY FAVORITE- a torch song with this flamenco-like sound???? It's just so cool!! And she showcases her voice skills even further here, she was incredible!

8. Vamos Comer Caetano or "Let's Eat Caetano" - Adriana Calcanhotto I love this performance bc this song is so fucking weird but also such a bop (and hard to explain, if anyone wants to try, be my guest lmao)

9. Veleiros or "Sailboats" - Ney Matogrosso singing Heitor Villa-Lobos this is a 2 for 1 situation, the song is performed by ICONIC BR singer Ney Matogrosso in an album of songs written by BR conductor and classic composer Heitor Villa-Lobos! I'm crazy about the entire album this song is in for real, it's called "O Cair da Tarde", I highly recommend it!

10. Bachianas Brasileiras n5: Aria (Cantilena) - Heitor Villa-Lobos and since we are at it, here's the most famous song by Heitor Villa-Lobos (I'm a Villa-Lobos stan ngl) Full on opera mode!! It's a beautiful aria, sang in BR-Portuguese <3

11. Choros no 10 - Heitor Villa-Lobos Another Villa-L just to showcase his range - last 2 I mentioned were very romantic / operatic w/ solo vocals,etc. This is an instrumental orchestral movement and here you can see how he mixed in classic European orchestra with our identity, using folk/indigenous instruments on the 2nd half!

12. Miragem do Porto or "Harbor's Mirage" - Lenine Perfect segue into this performance of Lenine my beloved <3 <3 He sings as if he's a castaway, dreaming of going back home. This version has a full orchestra, also full of folk instruments and influences. It's so full of energy even the conductor can't help but sing along! EASTER EGG TIME cause this version I described on bsky is not on Spotify, I had to use the album version on the playlist. So if you are A TRUE CHAD reading this, here is the version I described!

13. Preciso Me Encontrar or "[I] Need to Find Myself" - Cartola Cartola was the most important samba composer from the early 1900's <3 And YES! Using the Cowboy Bebop AMV someone made w/ it, bc it's so beautiful and I think it's so AWESOME how this song echoes through all culture and ages! And it matches CB's aesthetics so well!

14. Preciso Me Encontrar, Liniker cover I have to throw in this AMAZING cover of "Preciso Me Encontrar"; it's sung by Liniker, an incredible BR trans singer! Again, I think it's beautiful how this song resonates so much after so many years (it was originally released by Cartola in the 70s), and this video is just gorgeous overall <3 - ALSO NOT AVAILABLE ON SPOTIFY, here's the link!

15. Floral Fury - Cuphead OST Thread intermission - Cheating a little bit here, since this isnt composed by a Brazilian person afaik, but!!! I have to include Floral Fury here bc it's literally early 1900's samba! IT EVEN HAS A CUÍCA (the "straw through plastic cup sound" lmao), it's very accurate and ngl, it's FUN AF!

16. Um Girassol da Cor de Seu Cabelo or "A Sunflower in the Color of Your Hair" - Lô Borges / Clube da Esquina Clube da Esquina is formed by this group of singers from Minas Gerais (including Milton Nascimento from the first song in this thread!) Vocals by Lô Borges, it really has a melancholic, storytelling vibe to it,especially through the arrangement <3

17. Cantiga Por Luciana or "Song for Luciana" - Evinha Another oldie from the 60s I love so much, she has such a pretty voice ahhh<3 She's one of the "voiceclaims" for an OC I have (AME from my drizzle/LAND OCs!) Fun fact! Evinha was the one who sang the BR versions of the songs in Disney's "The Rescuers" (I'll link one next so you can hear it)!

Brazilian dub version of "The Journey" from "The Rescuers", performed by Evinha, from the previous post! Here, the movie was titles "Bernardo e Bianca", after the protagonists I legit think this is one of the best BR versions, and this animated intro in general is a freaking masterpiece. THIS BR VERSION ISNT IN SPOTIFY, HERE'S THE LINK!

Favo de Mel or "Honeycomb" - Milton Nascimento Speaking of BR singers in animations, I HAVE to link this one from no other than freaking Rio 2. It's "Real in Rio", that intro song from Rio 1, but a "sad version" of it performed BEAUTIFULLY by Milton Nascimento my beloved <3 I legit teared up watching the movie when this song came up. NOT ON FUCKING SPOTIFY, HERE IS THE LINK!

"Only a Dream in Rio - Milton Nascimento and James Taylor On Milton Songs That Makes Me Teary Eyed, this one which he collabed with James Taylor?? It's such a random, unexpected feat, but it turned out so beautiful! I think it's a good one to share in here, bc the song is sung half PT-BR, half ENG, I think it's rather appropriate for this thread <3

21. Fairy Tale - Shaman LEGENDARY live performance from metal band Shaman from the early 2000's, when their original vocalist Andre Matos (song writer, pianist, conductor; RIP) was still in the band. Here you can see why Andre was so, so beloved, guy was skilled AF and this song SLAPS SO HARD. BR IS SO AMAZING, GUYS (the version I mentioned above is the one on the playlist, HOWEVER I encourage you to actually watch the video of him performing!!

22. Carolina IV - ANGRA Still on Andre Matos, this is a song from his previous band, ANGRA. This song is part of a concept album where ANGRA mixed in metal+BR elements, you can say this is BR folk metal! The album Holy Land was all around the concept of Brazil, its culture, the colonization and so on. SO COOL!

23. Dança das Borboletas or "Dance of the Butterflies" - Sepultura and Zé Ramalho I can't talk about BR metal without mentioning Sepultura! So here's their cover of Zé Ramalho's song, featuring Zé in the vocals. This was used as soundtrack in the BR movie "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro" (a fave)(Don't be fooled by the butterflies in the title lmao)

24. O Matador or "The Killer" - Sepultura another Sepultura song for the soundtrack of "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro", I like that movie a lot. This is the theme song of Frederico Evandro, a character who's a badass gun for hire. I love how it sounds so metal but still so Brazilian!

25. O Encontro de Lampião & Eike Batista or "The Meeting of Lampião & Eike Batista" - El Efecto More BR folk metal! This is hard to explain w/word limit but TL;DR this song criticizes capitalism and colonization by corporations using the images of Lampião (BR historical figure) and Eike Batista (a real BR CEO); it uses lots of northeast BR influences!

26. Cílio or "Eyelash" - Casa de Caba YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT ITS TIME FOR LUSO-BR PIRATE SHANTIES OK not really but this is how I see this song! Again northeastern BR influences + mention of Yemanjá (yoruba orisha of the seas, she's a big deity in afro-br religions!). If this isn't BR pirate enough idk what it is hehe

27. Arueira - Geraldo Vandré Another one in the "BR pirate shanties" list, which is kinda funny - is a protest song from the 60s and it in fact has elements in common with some sea shanties - CALL/ANSWER singing, it mentions how workers are suffering under hard work / a master,it even has nautical themes (sailors,sea,etc)

28. Canção do Mar or "Song of the Sea" - Dulce Pontes cheating a little again cause Dulce Pontes is a Portuguese singer, but mentioning all the "Luso-BR Sea Shanties", I had to mention this ICONIC performance! This is "fado", a melancholic Portuguese genre of music; I like to parallel it a bit with Irish keening style of singing

29. Canto de Oxum / Inscrição or "Oxum's Song" - Maria Bethânia still in the theme of waters! Iconic Maria Bethânia sings to Oxum, the orisha of fresh waters and beauty! Here in BR, we have afro-based religions that worships such yoruba deities, and we often hear songs praising them like this. The second half praises Yemanjá, deity of the seas!

30. Deixa a Gira Girar - Ana Mametto This one is a cover of Ana Mametto (og song by The Tincoãs released in the 70s), praising Iansã the orisha of the lightning and storms! This performance is so cool cause there's a dancer there with Ana, as Iansã herself dancing onstage + lightning sound effects. ITS JUST INCREDIBLE [LINK TO THE VIDEO!]

31. Vapor Barato or "Cheap Vapor" - Gal Costa and Zeca Baleiro this version of Vapor Barato/A FLor da Pele is everything. Gal and Zeca being fucking iconic for 6mins straight, this song is so melancholic, almost theatrical <3

32. Garoto de Aluguel or "Rentboy"- Belchior and Zé Ramalho it's easy to say Belchior (RIP) is like. Pivotal BR music icon. And here with Zé Ramalho they perform together in this song that's lowkey my favorite lmao, the tango vibes ARE STRONG and I love it so much!

33. Na Hora do Almoço or "At Lunchtime" - Belchior Another Belchior banger-it describes this young person talking about their family at lunchtime, and how everyone is so disconnected from another, "I'm still too young to be this sad", damn </3

34. Trem das Onze or "Eleven's Train" - Adoniran Barbosa ADONIRAN BARBOSA, PORRA <3 another super important samba composer~ In this one, the protagonist laments he can't stay with his love a bit longer, bc he has to go home and he can't miss the train that leaves at 11. The way the choir ends with a train-like sound, SO GOOD!

35. O Rei do Gatilho or "Cowboy / Old West King" losely translated - Moreira da Silva THIS ONE I SWEAR. It is a SAMBA THAT MIMICS A COWBOY/WESTERN MOVIE. But like, in a BR way of course. It's a pretty hilarious song with Moreira making different voices, it has sound effects of shots, horses running, applauses and so on, it's so fun!

36. O Vira or loosely translated as "Shapeshifting" - Ney Matogrosso Going back to Ney Matogrosso, I have to mention this one, the title kind of means "Shapeshifting"(as in werewolves)but it goes beyond that,it's hard to explain lol Ney has always been very out & about on genderfuckery and being gay so this song plays with that. a true icon Also THAT OUTFIT! 👌👌👌 [Link to the video so you can see his cunty looks!]

37. Rosa de Hiroshima or "Rose of Hiroshima" - Secos & Molhados / Ney Matogrosso on a more serious note,this is another famous song from Ney/Secos & Molhados (his former band). It's a tragic song where he lists the victms of the bombings in Japan, but in a very poetic manner BR and JP have history, so this is in a way our tribute to that sad event

38. Hinamatsuri / Se Essa Rua Fosse Minha or "Doll's Festival/If This Lane Was Mine" - Iuri Salvagnini speaking of BR/JP ties,this is one I found totally by chance and I'm SO HAPPY I did.This album has medleys of both JP and BR nursery rhymes. Se Essa Rua Fosse Minha is a very famous BR folk song and so ominous in a way, this version really reflects that!

39. Pegasus Fantasy - Edu Falaschi And speaking of which - ANIME TIME! Edu Falaschi, the vocalist from ANGRA that came after Andre Matos, was the iconic voice of Saint Seiya's first opening theme, "Pegasus Fantasy"! Saint Seiya was HUGE here in BR/Latin America in the 90s!

40. Descobridor dos Sete Mares or "Seeker of the Seven Seas" - Tim Maia Tim Maia (RIP) was like, a BR soul singer, his performances were all like this, full of energy with a big band and everything! (There's also this meme where ppl say this was supposed to be a Jojo's opening song, lmao)

41. Mania de Você or "Crazy About You"- Rita Lee and Milton Nascimento LEGENDARY performance of Rita Lee (RIP) and Milton Nascimento! A very sexy song, and their performing energy just brings everything to whole other level. It gets even better when we see Rita teasing Milton (around 5:33) haha <3 so cute!

42. Chuva or "Rain" - Gaby Amaranthos This one is kind of funny, but also kinda moving??? The lyrics are about the cycle of water -literal, textbook information about the cycle of water and how rains are formed At the same time she also sings "Water cycle is an eternal dance" which is such a beautiful way of putting it??

43. Ela Disse Adeus or "She Said Goodbye" - Os Paralamas do Sucesso I remember watching this music video as a kid and I loved it. It stars the incredible BR actress Fernanda Torres & the members of the band, all of them mistreating her character so badly until she just decides to kill them one by one lmao this song/mv still is so good!

44.Segue o Seco or "Draught Goes On" - Marisa Monte I also remember watching this one as a kid and being just fascinated by the video, it's legit a fucking masterpiece, the aesthetics and everything are very dramatic and theatrical. Marisa has such a GORGEOUS voice hnggg Still a favorite to this day [LINK TO THE MV!]

45. Ainda Bem or "Thank Goodness" - Marisa Monte another one by Marisão that I thinnk is so cool, especially the video, I love that's pretty much her just dancing with no one other than MMA wrestler Anderson Silva??? lmao so random but so cool!

46. O Céu é Muito or "The Sky is [Too] Much" - Lenine Lenine's heavy metal phase dkjfhskdjf jokes aside, I freaking love this one bc it's a bit different from his usual stuff (which I also really love). I think it's so cool when singers are so versatile and their voice will fit into any genre!

47. Matheus Embaixador or "Matheus, the Embassador" - Antonio Nóbrega Antonio Nobrega is an actor/folk musician that I really like. He plays rabeca (that folk violin he's holding) in his music as well! This goes into the BR Pirates Playlist thing for sure! hehe

48. Abrição de Portas or "Opening the Doors" - Antônio Nóbrega is a folk song / adaptation from Cantigas de Santa Maria, a compilation of medieval Portuguese poetry/songs! This one goes way back haha. And it really has the Royal Castle vibes to it, it's very Brazilian High Fantasy 👀

49. Bandolins - Oswaldo Montenegro This one is another mix of kind of funny with brilliant - Oswaldo wrote this song based on a friend of his, the song is really heartfelt and the last portion really GOES HARD with the vocals and harmonies holy fuck; but is also has some weird word choices lmao overal, it's a true bop, so dramatic!

50. Admirável Chip Novo or "Brave New Chip" - Pitty more BRmetal! This one was popular in the early 2000's and now I look at the lyrics like DAMN.She didnt have to go this hard-it has the obv ref to Brave New World on the title and she heavily criticizes consumerism and the lack of critical thought thats encouraged by capitalism??

51. Garganta or "Throat" - Ana Carolina Ana Carolina, BI ICON from my teenage years fr fr, I was obsessed. She has a very unique, deep voice, and her guitar skills are pretty insane, this one really shows all of that!! [The version in the playlist is the same as the video, BUT linking the video bc SHE'S SO BADASS!]

52. Eu Comi a Madona or "I Fucked Madona" - Ana Carolina lmao this song is what is says on the tin, Ana came out of the closed in the early 2000s as bi and ever since she has been VERY UNABASHEDLY BI and honestly good for her Iconic song for real kdjfhdkjfh [LINKING THE VIDEO OF HER LIVE PERFORMANCE. BECAUSE OF REASONS.]

53. Auroras Flamboyans - Sofia Freire I don't even know how to explain this one, Sofia has such a dream-like songwriting - she keeps saying things, listing them as if to paint an imagery, it's kinda abstract and so beautiful tbh. She also layers her vocals and plays piano for it, honestly just give it a listen, it's legit so good <3

54." Valsa Pra Lua or Waltz to the Moon" - Vítor Araújo absolutely gorgeous piano instrumental that's soundtrack to the BR movie Elena. I never saw the movie, but this song is soooo good <3

55. Espumas Ao Vento or "[Like] Foam in the Wind" - Elza Soares another version done for the Lisbela e o Prisioneiro movie (srsly that movie has SO MANY BANGERS in the soundtrack it's ridiculous). Elza (RIP) was another huge name in BR music, here you'll hear her iconic voice and singing style!! <3

56. Fixação or "Obsession" - Kid Abelha a song that's super relevant even nowadays lmao she describes the PoV of someone obsessing over a celebrity 24/7, how they keeps making up scenarios in their head featuring their fave. It really contrasts w the way she sings/the arrangement! I really like this version a lot ngl

Ragatanga - Rouge BRAZILIAN Y2K GIRL BAND TIME. Rouge was a girlband formed in a reality show, designed to discover "the next pop stars and form a pop group". Rouge was MASSIVELY successful, at least for a while. This one is their master hit (which is actually a cover from pop Spanish trio Las Ketchup)

58. Lua de Cristal or "Crystal Moon" by Xuxa and the Paquitas PERFECT SEGUE INTO XUXA'S MASTERPIECE lmao Xuxa ("SHOO-SHAH") is a former kid's show host and in the 90s she starred the Cinderella retelling movie Lua de Cristal. Big bop song, the movie not really,its kind of a cult for meme reasons lol the song is very Sailor Moon-coded too ngl

59. A Lenda or "Legend" - Sandy & Junior speaking of kid-oriented 90s pop music, I HAVE to mention Sandy & Junior, a duo of siblings that were super famous back then. A Lenda is definitely their best song, I non ironically still listen to it, cheesy-ness and all, it'ss dramatic AF dkjfhdkfjh

60. Sete Vidas or "Seven Lives" - Marcus Viana & Adriana Mezzadri this one was soundtrack to a historical period BR miniseries in the 2000s. It was composed by musician Marcus Viana (the guy playing violin in the Shaman video from before!) and it's sung by AMAZING Adriana Mezzadri, (actually Peruvian and not BR!) I LOVE this song, it's so good!

61. Sob o Sol or "Under the Sun" - Marcus Viana Marcus Viana also composed the ost for the absofucking popular 2000's telenovela O Clone! The songs were so iconic; the version in the playlist is the og version, but I linked this version in the thread, a version that's in Arabic! Lebanese singer Raya Hilal also sings the PT-BR version on the second half <3

62. Romance de Duas Caveiras or "A Skeleton's Romance" - Alvarenga & Ranchinho this is like. Old BR country/folk music and still hilarious AF lmao They are describing the romance of two skeletons in a cementery,how they go on with their...lives...death...?Until the day one of the skeletons ditches her skeleton bf over another guy(a fresh corpse lol). The video of them performing seems straight out of the Pixar movie Coco in every sense lmao

63. O Bêbado e a Equilibrista or "The Drunkard and the Tightrope Walker" - Elis Regina second to last song has to be Elis again! This one is a notorious protest song, really about hope and just waiting for things to finally be better

64. Evidências or "Evidences" - Chitãozinho & Xororó AAAAAAND LAST SONG IS, IN THE GREAT BR SPIRIT, EVIDÊNCIAS LMAO, it's a widely cherished song, but also kind of a meme, and everything in between. It's a cheesy love song in the classic sertanejo style (BR country genre), sung by Chitãozinho e Xororó, a duo of brothers!