#also tw: Keith dies

[jalapenobee]

IT’S DONE

You are my sunshine (rewrite)

Everywhere he looked, there was red.

It dripped from gold jewelry and table edges, shattered wine glasses and soaked gloves. Leaking out from his body was red. It caked his face and blurred his vision. The room pulsed and ached with pain, mirroring the scene inside it. The ball had been turned into a bloody massacre, the shining floor littered with limp bodies; a few on their last breaths, the rest already dead.

With a groan, Keith turned on his back and blinked. His mouth felt like metal, his ears were ringing, and he felt numb and dizzy from blood loss. The ceiling multiplied and shifted, exhausting his eyes. He’d be the one casualty of Voltron, assuming the others weren’t in his state. Seeing no point in taking off his helmet, Keith closed his eyes and listened in on the celebratory cheers from over comms for a “mission well done”. He kept his head turned towards the door, listening for footsteps that signaled an approach. Pathetic, really. Even if it was an enemy, there’s a zero percent chance he’d be able to defend himself. Keith sighed. He’d much rather be doing something, something important. But it was too late for that now. He was getting weaker every passing second, the grip on life loosening bit by bit.

Every blink he made closed his eyelids longer than the last. Every few breaths brought jagged, searing streams of blood dripping down his chin. He did not wipe it off, instead focusing on matching the voices from the comms to their owners as they started to call his name.

“Wait. Guys, where did Keith go?” Allura. 

“…Keith… where are you? Are you okay?” Hunk. 

“Keith, where are you? Say something!” Lance.

Keith took a long breath and managed to speak in a cracking, broken voice. 

“Second ballroom. Don’t bother coming.”

Despite that, Lance insisted he’d come to get him and started to bolt for Keith’s location. The latter didn’t object; partly because he didn’t have the energy, and partly because his pleas would be useless. Lance was always claiming he’d do anything to keep Keith alive, as well as being there as he dies. Apparently, nothing’s going to stop him.

Half a minute later, Lance came running through the broken door with his bayard drawn, aiming it around the room in a frantic mess until he spotted Keith. Careful to avoid the pools of blood and dead weight, he hurried over and pulled off both of their cracked helmets. A careful hand slipped behind Keith’s back, raising him up slightly to Lance’s face.

“I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise.”

“No matter.”

Lance shook his head and tears were sent splattering down on Keith’s armor, blending with the blood and seeping into the cracks in the metal. The other’s voices were left unheard, as Lance desperately prayed to a god, any god, that Keith would make it. That the blood would stop gushing, oh jeez, please make the blood stop gushing. He cradled a tired Keith in his tired arms. “Please, you’re going to be okay.”

Keith turned his head to face Lance properly, his body lurching with coughs that brought more blood to the scene. Keith ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, tasting copper and salt. His throat felt right and his lips burned with pain with every word. He swallowed, and began to sing a delicate, slurred version of a nursery rhyme he’s sung more than a few times to calm Lance. 

“You are my sunshine…”

Lance’s teary, shaking voice chimed in, as he pressed his forehead to Keith’s. “My only sunshine…”

“You make me happy…” 

“When skies are gray…” For a moment, they were perfect - voices singing together, a melody all too familiar to them both. Then more coughs brought more blood; flown towards Lance’s face, and spat on the floor, armor, hands. A terrified Lance stroked Keith’s hair, smeared and tangled in debris, telling him to save his breath, yet Keith kept going. 

“You’ll never know, dear…” his hand fell limp against Lance’s. “How much… I love you.”

His eyes fluttered closed for the last time, and Lance was the only one left to finish singing while Keith managed a small smile and a sigh.

“Please don’t take… my sunshine away.”

[kidge-planet]

KIDGE ANGST

TW! death

50 years had passed. It had been 50 years since they shared their first kiss, and they had never left each other's sides.

During those 50 years, their love had only grown stronger with each passing day.

Now, she was 70.

As she lay in her bed next to her husband, Katie felt a strange sensation. Both she and her husband had been worried lately; she had been feeling weak and breathless for almost a month now, and doctors couldn't find anything wrong.

She took a deep breath and rested her head against her pillow. Keith knew exactly how she felt. He knew her so well that just one look in her eyes was enough to tell that something was wrong.

But he also knew that if he asked, she would simply answer that she was fine. So, he asked, and as expected, she said that she was okay. He insisted, and so did she.

Deciding to give up, knowing how stubborn she was but also trusting that she would confide in him later if something was truly wrong, he kissed her forehead as they wished each other a good night.

As he closed his eyes, Keith instantly fell asleep. But no matter how much she tried, Pidge couldn't.

As she grew older, it became harder for Pidge to fall asleep at night. She and Keith had lost everyone:

The first to go was Baebae, Pidge's dog. It had been complicated for her, but she stayed strong.

Then came Sam. It was years after Baebae, and it was possibly the worst day of her life by that time.

Sam was followed by Colleen, who couldn't bear losing her husband for the second time. She was an old woman who had been through so much, but her heart could not handle more. She died, drowning in sadness, and no matter how much Matt and Pidge did to save her, it wasn't enough...

After Colleen, Shiro followed. It devastated everyone, especially Keith. But with Pidge by his side, he healed faster.

Hunk died years later. A heart attack was the reason...

The only ones remaining in their lives were Lance, Matt, Krolia, Kosmo, and their kids. Some other people remained, but they were less important in their lives.

And all this kept Pidge awake at night. She remembered the old times, hurting herself by allowing her thoughts to dwell on all the happy moments. And then, she remembered that it was over, that she would never again be hugged by her father or laugh with her mother... That she would never get to hug Baebae to sleep or have nice Paladin hangouts with her friends... And, of course, she would never gossip with Allura again.

She missed Hunk's cookies and his presence when she was feeling down. She missed Shiro's advice and how reassuring he was.

She just wanted to go back in time, start everything over, and reclaim the beauty that she thought she had lost.

And she was happy with Keith. She always had been, and she felt so grateful that he was still by her side today... But she missed how they used to love each other back then, those nights when they wouldn't sleep and would share every piece of passion. She missed discovering his touch, his body; it all felt new back then, and now, it just seemed routine. She knew his touch by heart... And not that she thought it was bad, but she did think that it was better before... Because everything seemed better when they were younger.

She used to fight for peace, she used to be a model for so many people and have an important purpose. Today, she felt worthless. Just an old lady. A grandma, certainly, but then what was next?

Death. And she would feel guilty admitting that she actually waited for it every day now.

She knew that she would leave her kids behind, along with her remaining friends, her brother, and her husband.

But her kids were grown adults now, with their own families and lives that she wished she could still have. They didn't need her anymore...

As for her friends, she only really had Lance and a few acquaintances. But she rarely saw them, if ever. She called Lance often, but that was about it.

She saw Matt often. Same old Matt. And when thoughts of ending her life crossed her mind, she tried to push them away, knowing that she was his only family left.

And then there was her husband. How she loved him. He was the only reason she hadn't tried to end it herself. The only thing tormenting her now was deciding whether she wanted him to die before her or after her... Whether she would hurt him or herself.

She didn't really have a choice.

Lost in thought, her eyes closed, and she felt her body's weight growing heavier with each passing second. She understood. Summoning all her strength, she opened her eyes one last time to look at him. The only man who had ever loved her, the only man she had ever loved.

Oh, how beautiful he looked in the moonlight, she thought to herself, finding the strength to reach for his cheek...

She caressed his cheek, feeling her hand grow too heavy, and she rested it in his.

If only she could tell him how much she loved him... But she didn't want to see him cry. She didn't want him to take her to the hospital or try to "save" her.

She wanted to silently pass away in the bed where they had shared their love for years. In the room where they had once been young together. In peace.

A tear rolled down her face: she was feeling greatful in this moment to have had such a beautiful life.

And she silently hoped that she'll find him again, in another life.

(there you go and I hope this made you feel the emotional turmoil you wanted lol :') )

Let me know your thoughts about that one!!!!!!!

[shslpunkartist99]

-rubs hands-

Long post time that's still considered a short explanation of Leia and her role in this series

Tw: suic//idal thoughts, but nothing graphic

Leroy has experienced suicidal thoughts and wished to be someone else. Although it hadn't come up in some time, the lingering thought was always there, until it exploded one day, bringing back Leia.

The reason Leia hates Leroy so much is because he himself hates himself a lot, so it got projected onto her. Every negative thing he thought of himself, she would vocalize. It's also because he has people that care for and love him, but he's still hung up on the family that abandoned him. To her, he doesn't appreciate what he has now, and he's only focused on what COULD'VE been (not even what WAS, considering only his siblings were good to him, but even they left). She saw him as ungrateful, and the people around them would feel more appreciated if she was there instead of him.

When told what would happen if they died, nobody could even deny that Leroy wouldn't go with the fake illusion of his family, thus keeping him dead forever. Back at his old home, all he did was wait for his siblings to return. That showed just how "little he cared for the others". Leia claims she's simply stating facts on Leroy's behaviour, as well as saying what he's thinking all along. Sure, her words may be more blunt and harsh, but Leroy can't deny he isn't thinking those exact thoughts about himself.

When he fronted again, he shunned everyone away. She was right; he didn't appreciate any of them. They've done so much good for him, yet here he is, still wishing for his family to come back together. He's still depressed, still self deprecating, still unable to accept and be grateful of his current life. He really should just die..

When he tried to leave the city, knowing fully well how severe the punishment can be, Oreo stopped him. Leroy told them that Leia was right about everything, and it would be better if they all focused their time and energy on someone who would actually appreciate it. Oreo wasn't sure what to say, so instead, he asked if he could show Leroy something before he went away. He hesitated, but Leroy gave in to Oreo's request, and was then pulled up to the sky, over the entire city.

Oreo explained how their purpose was simply to lead this city. They weren't born as babies and grew up like the others; they were simply created just like this. It took time for them to develop emotions and personal thoughts that didn't involve being a Leader. They saw their city flourish as time went on, and ever since these recent Cards came to be, it's been more bright and exciting than ever. Oreo learned to care and want when Keith and Leroy became his Cards, and all he wants to do is give them the most exciting life. Something to make them smile, feel strong, feel free.

"Whether your dark thoughts will let you believe me or not, I've never experienced love until I met you two."

It made Leroy think about to the others who have said similar things. Keith knew love was a difficult word for Leroy to accept, but he was so happy to be his best friend. Sophia and the others are eternally grateful for what Leroy did for them, and they support him 100%. Even Tsuri, who was once cold and rude to him, eventually opened up to him, and held him close because he WANTED to. None of it felt fake. It felt so real, so heartwarming. And Leroy remembered that he was so HAPPY when it happened.

... he had to know himself..

"Oreo.. I'm really sorry to ask you this, but.. can you drop me from here?"

Oreo knew the implication of this: to fall from this height would surely kill Leroy. And if this was when he was at his lowest, crying and grieving at the ground, they would've declined immediately. But Leroy was different this time. His eyes still had no life, but there was a small glint in there as well. A hint of determination. Leroy wanted to be faced with the choice.. to know for sure what his true feelings were.

With a soft kiss on the forehead, Oreo let Leroy fall, doing everything in his willpower to not try and catch him.. until the thud echoed the city.

When Leroy came to, he was in an open field. Some clouds in the sky, sprinkling some rain, not a building or person in sight.. well, except for two people.

The one in charge of the passing.. and Leia.

Leia wasn't smiling this time, but she also wasn't on the attack. "So, we're finally gonna see what you do with yourself?" She asked. "Then let's go. We already know the answer anyway." The other girl greeted them, a bit surprised they were together, but went along with it nonetheless. The guide was calm yet playful, saying they could jump on the puddles if they'd like. Leia wasn't here for games, however, so she pulled Leroy away from the field, rushing to their destination.

Eventually, they saw it. The happy family Leroy had been waiting for all these years. His siblings were setting the table up, his mom was finishing cooking the food.. even his dad, who was the one who started this whole mess, was helping them out and making jokes, making them all laugh at his bad puns. When they saw Leroy, their faces lit up, and they excitedly ask Leroy to come inside, dinner's almost ready.

"That's what you wanted, right?" Leia said. "That's your happy family. Something you would only see on tv, and that you imagined so hard for it to be true. Congrats. You finally got your wish-.."

And then.. Tsuri came in.

The family greeted Tsuri as if they knew him all along, and.. he was smiling as well, offering any help. Then Keith came in. Then Oreo. Then Sophia, Nova, Poppy, Vivian, Naomi, Olivia.. a bunch of people were coming in, all laughing and talking with one another. It stunned both Leroy and Leia at how many people there were now. It was supposed to be just the family, no? And yet all the friends he's made in the City.. they were all here. All of them.

All of them.. were who he wanted.

Without another moment to think, Leroy rushed back to the field and jumped into the puddles, splashing and kicking and spraying the water all over the place. Iridescent colors sparkled with the water droplets. Little rainbows formed in bigger splashes. Leroy let the sprinkles mess up his hair and clothes. He was a wet mess by the time he was done.

Before Leia knew it, Leroy was running past her, a big smile on his face, as he rushed into the open door that would lead him back to the land of living.

"Wow, I've never seen all that before!" The guide giggled, unsure what just happened, but happy nonetheless. "He's leaving.. will you join him? You two seem connected, after all, and it'd be a shame if you left yourself behind."

Leia.. didn't understand any of this..

When Leroy woke up, his friends were surrounding him, relieved that he was okay. He explained what he saw, and he realized the error of his ways. From now on, he's going to focus on his present now than worrying about the past. It's going to be difficult considering that's years of severe depression, but learning how much he'd lose if he died, and how incredible everyone was to him because they actually liked him, he wanted to treasure that.

When Leroy was left alone, he saw Leia in the mirror, frustrated and disappointed. She thought she knew how Leroy worked, and he would've went with the fake family for sure. Leroy explained that she only knew the negative side of him because that's the only time she would be able to take over. She didn't know of the positive side he had.. which was his fault. He subconsciously made her as a way to escape, so of course she would only know negativity and self hatred. He apologized for making that Leia's "purpose".

The disappointment came when Leia said that she's going to disappear again. Since she only takes over when he's in a dark state of mind, she wouldn't be around to experience the good times. It was fun while it lasted.. that's when Leroy realized that Leia wasn't just pretending to be the perfect person Leroy thought of, but genuinely living and enjoying life. Now to hide away into the depths of his mind..

With that, he put the wig back on, and Leia was back.

"If you want, we can take turns being in charge. I only ask that you don't speak bad of me when you spend time with the others. It'll cause problems if you do, and I'm gonna try my hardest not to think that way about myself. You deserve to become your own person that isn't revolved around my thoughts, Leia. I think you're a good person, so..

"You deserve a second chance."

Thus starts Leia's redemption arc, as well as becoming her own person.. whoever that may be. They simply swap by taking the wig on/off, and they're both awake and present; one is simply taking the reigns while the other watches.

[zaenight]

Crazy but she's mine ch16

"Fuck." Jackie said as She felt somthing , a month had passed , she was starting to show , She had also met Natalia's parent , who were a bit weary of their daughter being in a relationship with someone who had ties to the Mc.

But they ended up loving her , in fact She and Illiana will be stopping by for ahwhile , while the guys dealt with shit.

"Qué pasa?" Ez asked turning , kissing her neck.

"I think - Fuck! Your kids kicking." Jackie laughed , taking Ez's hand , placing it on her stomach.

"Damn that's a hell of kick." Ez said with a laugh , kissing her temple.

"Any news about Creeper?" Jackie asked tracing his arm.

"Nothing yet." Ez said kissing her.

"Me and Natalia are heading over to Natalia's , Fuck Ez ." Jackie said , softly grunting as He kissed her neck .

"Solo ten cuidado amor, iré a buscarlos a ustedes dos en el camión después, solo llama." Ez said as The two got ready too start their days.

(Just be careful love , I'll come get you two in the truck after , just call.)

------------------

TW : GUNSHOTS,DEATH,AND GET YOUR TISSUE'S READY FOR TEARS. if you follow my tiktok:zaenighteditz , you probably figured out which scene this is.

-----------

"Alright So you thought of any names yet?" Natalia's mother , Becky , asked her , she was a sweet woman , her husband Keith , was at work , but he was nice when they first met.

"We were thinking Esmae "Marisol" Reyes for a girl ,after our mothers , And Ezra for a boy." Jackie laughed as The two girls said they were going outside.

It was going good , Jackie and Becky laughing ,Becky describing how her pregnancy was , the two even spoke about weird food cravings.

And then it happend Jackie placed a hand over her stomach , grabbing Becky , the two going too the floor as Two shots rang out , a loud groan filled the air , and another shot rang out , the two mothers rushed outside seeing their daughters on the floor.

"NATALIA!" Becky exclaimed rushing to her daughter as Jackie rushed to Illiana who was next to her , an inch away.

"Oh my god , Oh no- hey your

gonna be okay , you two will be okay." Jackie said said reaching her Phone calling 911.

"I- dont wa-want to die , M-mom Im sc-scared." Illiana said in pain , it was the first time she called her mom.

"Nata-Natalia come on wake up baby , oh god , oh my baby ." Becky cried as The ambulence arrived.

------------

When Ez got the call , the whole club rushed to the house , seeing the ambulence , what hurt the guys more seeing a kid sized body bag , and based off the reaction from Becky , It was Natalia , who the club grew to care for as Illiana brought her around .

Becky screamed and cried as Her husband rushed to her , She was holding onto Jackie , who had tears coming down her face.

"My little girl , my baby , oh no , no!" Keith exclaimed crying going over to the body bag that was unzipped , falling to the floor , Becky went over to her husband.

Ez rushed to Her as the others wondered what the hell happened.

"What happened , are you okay!? , what the hell , Illiana is she -" Ez said checking her face , as Jackie grabbed his hand pulling him into a hug ,crying.

"We were all fine , the girls went outside , and then an hour later their were gunshots , we ran outside , Oh fuck Ez it was bad , It was the fucking neighbour , He just shot at them , Na-Natalia died right away , Illiana had a mini gun on her , for protection, and killed him , Oh fuck ez , She was so scared ez , she passed out , she screamed when she heard Natalia was dead , it was so loud." Jackie cried.

"Te tengo mi amor, está bien, vamos a estar bien, joder, te tengo." Ez said as she hugged him tighter , crying , all he could do was close his eyes and hold her.

(I've got you my love , its okay , we're gonna be okay , fuck I've got you.)

-----------------

I warned you guys 🤧

------------

[symbioticship]

So if you know wittyy-name and zizzani fanfic shadow of the past and ghost of the future same time switch concept but different

It's not a time switch it's a dimension switch (it's a season 4 divergent?) the last thing that happens is meeting Lotor...or is it?

And the switch is from the world from the show to one where the gang is in a home of delinquents

That's right they are a bunch of hell raisers, well except for hunk he just followed Lance in.

Shiro is their live in counselor

And this delinquent home is funded by Allura in one of her many humanitarian projects.

Coran is the bus driver/delivery/if you need outside help he's the one to call. Why?

Because the house is in the middle of nowhere, and treated more like a camp than anything.

Keith is an Arsonist that burned down a building

Pidge is hacker who helped him get into that building

Lance nearly killed someone

Hunk helped drive the victim to the hospital

There's reasons why each of them did these things you can even change the reasons if you please

But the only thing that should start the same is pidge and Keith are friends and hunk and Lance are too

Keith and shiro are still brothers but because his family adopted Keith though he left Keith behind to pursue his career and left in a messy fight.

There is no aliens in this universe but there's still a kind of magic.

There are soulmate connections here.

They appear as glowing color when skin touches skin, though it's not just romantic there's also platonic/familial connections

So if Lance were to touch hunk the color will come out blue, if he were to touch a stranger nothing would happen. If he were to touch Keith it would turn purple.

Mixing colors is romantic, your color is platonic

Your color will pop up on your friend if you touch your own arm while thinking of them, but if you aren't thinking of anyone your automatically going to talk to your soulmate.

It doesn't last forever just as long as your in contact.

Also you can break the connection, however it's very painful and leaves actual scars

But if you were to truly reject your soulmate and you were to agree with it then you start to cry

But these aren't normal tears, they look like stars falling down your cheeks. And it burns like acid.

You can't melt your face off but you will be branded with a black mark where your tears fell the most

So the one who 'switch places' is Lance.

TW: major character death and mentions of sui

You can take this out if it makes you uncomfortable but the thing is the reason why they switched is because they both died at the same time.

There is another variable but I'll only tell the writer what it is!

Of course they were rescued in time to live but they did die in the medical sense for a few minutes.

Voltrons Lance, VLance, was killed by Shiro (or was he?) And woke up in a hospital bed on earth.

The Lance of this dimension was rescued after an attempt.

And everyone is shocked when he's awake.

Not because he survived, but he's nothing like their Lance. So happy and goofy and talks to everyone like they're friends.

Which is weird because they hate each other.

Even Hunk is considered barely an acquaintance.

So Lance who considers these people his family plans to fix that, while trying to find a way to get back home.

The thing is, is there really a home to go back to, or is this all in his head?

You have full range to change what you please but there's just a few things I ask to keep.

One is to keep the soulmates stuff, doesn't have to be the same thing just soul mates

The future pairings are Klance, Shiro matt, shay hunk are already a couple.

I had someone with pidge but it was just an oc that is only ever mentioned in the background (an android in the Voltron universe) so that can be scrapped if thou pleases

Lotor is there to cause a wedge between Lance and Keith. Like Lance Lotor is also bi. The two of them actually like each other, and bond over their shared interest in Allura.

It's not a ruse Lotor legit just likes Lance.

And last but definitely not least

The title, if you don't mind, can it be Astronutcase?

Love y'all!

[mtndw-whteout]

5 am angst for ya

poor lance.

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

.

[nicetomeetyouimqueer]

So I don’t know how to write in super articulate way but the fact that a lot of y’all will excuse White gay men’s abuse against young boys and men of color because they are “gay icons”. Or “important to our history”. Is really gross and damaging to the community. I don’t give a fuck how iconic or how important they are to the community if they are an abuser they have no place in the community. They aren’t problematic favs~~ they are fucking abusers. Stop coudling abusers!

(Edit for typo, I accidentally wrote accuse instead of excuse)

[fanfictionandshi]

DEMON

Senpai x genderneutral! Reader Part 1 of 3

Note: This was inspired by the very talented @clanwarrior-tumbly and one of their senpai x reader! I recommend you follow them! Catagory: SFW

TW: Mentions of blood, cursing, and not feeling good enough for somebody else

Senpai lost. Again. It was expected of course. Naturally you cheered him on but you knew that boyfriend was going to win, he had more experience. That didn’t bother you. What you didn’t expect, however, was what happened next.

Senpai gritted teeth and mumbled under his breaths “Shit.” “What was that man?” Boyfriend asked. “U-Uh nothing!” He quickly regained himself and yelled: “A-Again! Let’s do it again!” Keith was starting to get worried and tired. “Don’t you think that’s enough singing for one da-“ “NO! I have to prove to... I have to prove to Y/N that I am worthy for them!” “Dude...! You know Y/N loves you!” Now Keith was definitely worried.

“S-Shut up! Just... just start the damn song.” Over at the speakers, you were also getting worried. You were sitting next to girlfriend on the big speaker. You turned to her. “Hey... does Senpai feel... upset to you?” “Hm? Ah yes, but I’m sure that it’s just the of the frustration of losing! I’m sure he’ll be fine though!” “Hm, I hope so.”

The song started. Senpai was good, but Keith, with naturally more experience, was better. You could see senpai breaking with every perfect note Keith hit. And when the song was over. Senpai was crying. “...! Dude! Hey, it’s not that big of a deal-“ “SHUT. UP.” Things we’re getting out of hand, so you ran over to Senpai “Babe, its okay! Your still a great sing-“ “NO ITS NOT OKAY! EVEN IN THIS REALM I CAN‘T WIN, HOW CAN I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU IF I CAN’T WIN A SIMPLE RAP BATTLE AGAINST THIS... THIS MIDGET!” “Uhm I’m right here!” Girlfriend gave him a hard stare. “Never mind...”

Boyfriend soon realized that the fact senpai called him a midget was the least of his problems when he saw the state senpai was in. “Oh shit! Y/N...?” “It’s fine, I got this. This isn’t the first time this happened, just leave for now, okay?” Girlfriend didn’t think that was a good idea. “You sure Y/N? He seems... dangerous right now.” “It’s fine, as I said, I’ve done this before. Now go! I don’t want you guys getting hurt if he does go into his demon form!” They took your word and ran off. You squatted in front of senpai. “Babe, calm down...” Senpai was on his knees at this point, blood, sweat, tears, and flames surrounding him. He was trying to pushing you away, for your own safety. You resisted, still squatting right in front of him, the flames burning your skin.

“Hey... it’s okay.” “Y/N please... I don’t want you getting hurt... your already getting burned by the flames...!” And I don’t want you getting hurt.” You wiped away some of the blood running down his chin. “You know I love you right? Your genuine, loving, handsome, and so much more!” “I know... it’s just that I can’t-“ “You can do everything I need you to do, and winning a battle against boyfriend isn’t one of them. Your fine just the way you are, Senpai.” “...Really?” His flames died down, and blood stopped pouring from his mouth. “Really. You don’t need to prove anything to me Senpai. I love you.” “I love you too Y/N.”

By now, senpai was back to normal. You and him walked until you found girlfriend and boyfriend in an alley. “Uhm... hey you guys... sorry for going all... demon back there.” “Oh it’s all good man! You didn’t mean to!” Girlfriend nodded in agreement. “Anyways, we were going to go get some dinner, wanna come?” You looked at senpai. He seemed drained and tired. Almost turning into a demon took a lot out of him. “I’m sorry but senpai is very tired after all of that, but I’m sure we can go on a double date another day!” “It’s fine! Get some rest dude!” Hand and hand, girlfriend and boyfriend walked off.

You brought Senpai to your car and drove home. You helped him get inside your shared apartment and after a shower and putting some bandages on your burns, you started making dinner.

[killer-beans]

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

637 notes • Posted 2021-04-22 00:04:50 GMT

#4

things that i am absolutely baffled by

- people who dont have sensory issues w/water just put their entire face under the shower???

- not everyone’s parents have yelled at them at some point

- people who can just,,,,do things.  like they think “im gonna do x” and then immediately get up and do it

- conversations. what the fuck is that about

- apparently most people dont (try to) listen to an artist’s entire discography once they decide the like them

- people just say things to their therapist.  i know thats what theyre there for but like how do you bring shit up

821 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 01:19:40 GMT

#3

bands/musicians ableists are not allowed to listen to (feel free to rb with more):

Pink Floyd (Syd Barrett was schizophrenic, he also struggled with drugs as did band mates Rick Wright and David Gilmour, Gilmour’s wife also speculates he could be neurodivergent, Roger Waters has PTSD)

The Who (Keith Moon posthumously diagnosed with ADHD and possible Bipolar disorder, also speculated that John Entwistle was neurodivergent, Pete Townshend is a csa survivor/PTSD and developed tinnitus over the years and recently speculated that he has Bipolar disorder, all former/recovered drug addicts)

Talking Heads (David Byrne is autistic)

Billie Eilish (Tourette’s syndrome) 

The Beatles (John Lennon was legally blind and dyslexic)

David Bowie (schizophrenic brother died via suicide which impacted a lot of Bowie’s early work, former drug addict)

The Velvet Underground (Lou Reed had a nervous breakdown and was subjected to electro-shock therapy for it and other reasons (ie was bi but that is not a disability), recovered former drug addict)

The Beach Boys (Brian Wilson is schizoaffective)

The Rolling Stones (Brian Jones had asthma and former drug addict, Keith Richards recovering drug addict)

Black Sabbath (Ozzy Osbourne has Parkinson’s disease and recovering drug addict, Tonny Iommi has no finger tips)

Nirvana (Kurt Cobain committed suicide)

Joy Division/New Order (Ian Curtis was epileptic and committed suicide)

Def Leoppard (Rick Allen lost an arm and uses accommodations for drumming)

Stevie Wonder (legally blind)

Kiss (Paul Stanley has a malformed ear)

Ray Charles (legally blind)

Ludwig Van Beethoven (deaf)

Bill Withers (stutters)

Hank Williams (birth defect that lead to deformed spine)

José Feliciano (legally blind)

Cher (dyslexic)

Michael Jackson (lupus and vitiligo, which caused him to “turn white”)

The Kinks (Ray Davies is bipolar)

Gary Numan (autistic)

Jefferson Airplane/Starship (Marty Balin is autistic)

Amadeus Mozart (autistic)

Hole (Courtney Love is autistic and recovering drug addict)

The Runaways/The Blackhearts (Joan Jett is a recovered alcoholic)

Queen (Brian May and John Deacon both have depression)

Imagine Dragons (Dan Reynolds has ADHD)

The Blockheads (Ian Dury had polio as a child, resulting in many physical disabilities)

Linkin Park (Chester Bennington was a csa survivor and struggled with addiction until his suicide.)

The Blues Brothers (Dan Aykroyd is autistic, John Belushi had binge disorders)

975 notes • Posted 2021-01-07 02:04:02 GMT

#2

wait so you’re telling me it’s not normal to *obvious symptom of mental illness/neurodivergency*

6831 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 13:34:06 GMT

#1

*removes headphones to make sure random ass noise was part of the song and not psychosis*

47974 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 21:26:34 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[willadisastercry]

Keith relapsing and not being able to stop once he starts... pt 2

(((( Once again: please, please, please read the trigger warnings and proceed with caution before reading this. I vividly describe Keith’s internal struggle after he relapses... if anything even remotely regarding self harming or someone discovering a person who has is sensitive to you I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DONT READ ))))

tw: in depth depiction of acting on self harm ideations/urges, scars, relapsing, becoming ill from blood loss, someone discovering a person after they relapse, rationalizing their self harm because the alternative is suicide, contradicting oneself and later very much deciding they would rather be unalived, panic attack symptoms, reopening a wound, allusion to surgery (stitches)

Keith is still very out of it after having a full fledged panic attack and the last thing he wants is to invite another spectator into the mix to watch him devolve further. So Shiro agrees to do something he hasn’t had to do in a very long time... courtesy of his battlefield medicine training.

Also again... YES klance and NO klance. You can interpret it however but their questioningly less and less ‘no homo’ behavior uh certainly ramps up and I suggest that they’ve had certain discussions/interactions before... definitely still not the main focus of this fic but there for context bc it just happened that way.

Part 1 / Part 2

The tension in the air was palpable as it hung on all of them. Lance watched Shiro’s entire body visibly relax, the grimace on his face the only tell that he was working through something in his mind, remembering something unpleasant.

Keith’s wimper pulled both boys back after a minute of terrible silence.

Several of the hardest cuts to close had broken free of the glue that held them and were gushing steadily. Keith was paling by the minute as he continued to breathe rapidly and tremble as if he was cold despite the sweat on his forehead.

He just wanted this to be over. To finally be asleep where at least then he could pretend that it had never actually happened and it was just a horrible dream.

Without saying anything more Shiro pressed the bandage back to his side and moved Lance’s hand to hold pressure there while he stood up and scanned the room, his eyes landing on Keith’s towel. It was hardly even damp then with how much time had passed since Keith had finished his shower.

“Keith, I know you’re not going to want me to,” he started with his jaw set as he pulled Keith towards him for a moment to lay the towel beneath him despite his meager protests.

“...but I have to tell Coran so that he can—“

He stopped when Keith let out a desperate whine as he released his hand from his mouth to tug on Shiro’s arm, his fingers digging in like he was trying to anchor them to something so he didn’t drift away as his chest started working double time.

“No. You can’t! You’re n-not t-tell-telling him.”

“Keith, I know that this is—“

“No, you dont,” Keith rasped, “you d-don’t know anything and you c-can-can’t tell Coran.”

The fear in his wide eyes was enough to make Lance want to cry for the umpteenth time that night, his chest hitching painfully as he pleaded with Shiro, getting himself more worked up as he did.

“Calm down, buddy. You know how this works. You know we have to get you fixed up.”

He shook his head back and forth as Shiro tried to rationalize with him.

“Keith,” he paused with a lengthy sigh because the last thing he wanted was to do something that Keith didn’t want him to do.

“Keith it’s bad. You need stitches, we have to.”

His purple saucers met Shiro’s grey pinpoints for a long moment, fear and desperation glistening in Keith’s and making Shiro want to pull him up into a bone crushing embrace.

“Then y-you do it...” he all but whispered through a heave as he tried to take in enough air to satisfy the ache in his chest so he could talk.

“Ke—“

“You’ve d-done-done i-it-it before Sh-Sh-Shi—fuck. P-please, j-j-ju-just-just-j—“

“Okay,” Shiro agreed, his voice pitching higher as he tried to assuage the budding panic evident in Keith’s anguished expression and worsening trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay. I will. Shhh, I will.”

He repeated the words religiously after Keith began to choke on his own, his face reeling with frustration when the full body trembling made him unable to get a proper sentence out and the effort of trying sent him spiraling further.

Shiro carded his hand through Keith’s still damp hair as his hands rose back up to his face, his feet kicking against the bed as the terrible dropping feeling worked its way through his stomach, gasping as it did. Lance watched in horror as Shiro tried to comfort him but any point of contact made Keith struggle harder.

He absolutely hated being so vulnerable, so reliant on others in such a fragile state. He knew he sorely needed the affection but his body instinctively cringed away from their touches, at war with itself as his mind lied to him, told him he was pathetic for needing such a thing. Another part wanting to melt into even the faintest brush against his shuddering body. All while feeling the consequences of losing a pretty descent amount of blood, the loss fogging his mind to a point that made it immeasurably harder to not succumb to panic, especially since he was still bleeding.

It was truly the perfect storm and he hated every second of it.

His lungs felt like they were being dripped dry of every ounce of oxygen in them as the phantom sensation of spinning returned and disordered his heaving breaths further as he fought the urge to vomit. The bone deep exhaustion seemed to be rather helpful then, the physical symptoms of his anxiety fizzling out in minutes as he quite literally just lacked the faculties to accommodate them.

“I’m right here, Keith,” Shiro assured when his grip on his arm tightened and then wavered as he began to sink back into the mattress, his hands settling restlessly on his chest as they shook.

“That’s it, you’re alright.”

Shiro griped his shoulder securely now, the metal of his prosthetic arm weighing with an oddly pleasant pressure on Keith as his whole body shook still.

Closing his eyes seemed a tad less dangerous once he could breathe somewhat regularly again and the intense dizziness had somewhat dissipated. They were also swollen like hell and heavy from all the crying so shutting them became less of an active choice then as well.

Lance’s hand moved to his leg after a beat, just to peek and make sure that those wounds hadn’t met a similar fate. He watched as Shiro’s face dropped when he saw the second wrapping, swallowing thickly and shifting where he sat on the edge of the bed to speak to Lance.

“Will you get him to eat something while I go grab a few things?”

He nodded and made his way to the forgotten tray of snacks he’d nabbed as Shiro took off for supplies. The sobbing had died down after the climax of his panic did but the tears didn’t seem to ever dry up, evident from the sniffling every few minutes as he tried to clear his airways.

“Hey,” Lance nudged his arm where it had moved to cover his blotchy face again, “why don’t you sit up a little, gotta eat something...”

He didn’t even try, just shook his head.

“N-nauseous,” he stuttered, the shaking impossibly infuriating as he tried to relax enough to do anything other than cry.

“Hmmm, well you could also have juice, I can water it down a little. That sound doable?”

He just sighed and Lance took his indifference as a ‘whatever’ and went ahead anyway, nudging him again when he had a modified juice pouch for him.

“You don’t have to sit up all the way, there’s a straw,” Lance noted when Keith tried to raise himself up on shaking arms before they gave out. He grunted defeatedly and tried to scooch back on bent elbows and sit up that way but found he didn’t have the core strength then to do that either.

“Here, what if I...” Lance mused with a shy smile as he moved to pull Keith up enough to slide in behind him, bringing the pouch up to his lips where his now propped up head rested securely in the crook of his arm, still racked by tremors but seemingly more at ease with the contact.

“That better?”

Keith didn’t answer, just sucked on the straw of the pouch like he was dying of dehydration. By the time he’d finished the pouch Shiro was walking through the automatic door with a whoosh that startled Keith, his breathing picking back up as he nestled his head further into Lance’s arm like he was trying to hide under it.

“He finished some juice,” Lance stated proudly as Shiro laid out the haul of medical supplies he brought back.

“That’s good, something solid would be better though. Hm, how bout the bread?” Shiro asked, walking back over to the tray and picking up a roll from the batch Hunk had made with a type of alien wheat they’d found.

Keith grumbled but took it from Shiro’s outstretched hand because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to win that debate, but more because he knew what was coming next and he wanted that more than anything.

“What?! You just give in for Shiro but with me it’s like pulling teeth? I’m offended, mullet. Deeply offended,” Lance scoffed and Keith made a noise as he bit into the bread begrudgingly.

“It’s not personal, he just knows not to be stubborn unless he wants to be awake while I stitch him up.”

Lance’s heart sunk impossibly further into his chest because Shiro had fully found him like that before... and done this exact thing after. This wasn’t new to either of them.

God he wanted to cry too.

Once Keith had made a sizeable dent in the roll from the dinner he’d missed Shiro handed him three pills of which Lance assumed were some variant of a sleep aid that took him a while to swallow with how choppy he was breathing still. The high sort of buzz had never really gone away and only worsened when his anxiety took over, leaving him both feeling floaty and trapped in a constant state of shaking.

Lance tried to comfort him now that he seemed more receptive to being touched, tracing light circles on the shoulder not tucked against him and leaving his other hand out where he could reach it in case he needed something to squeeze.

In the time being Shiro had set up a sterile tray for what looked like a literal fish hook and a whole bunch of gauze. Oh, jeez. Lance wasn’t sure he could stomach watching and tried to manifest being able to just hold Keith in his arms while Shiro worked, ya know for moral support. For Keith obviously.

“How ya doing? Tired yet?” Shiro inquired as he continued to ready the tray, fiddling with bottles of medicine similar to what Lance had used before.

“Mhmm, getting... sleepy,” he slurred, his trembling dying down a bit as the medicine helped his body relax.

“Good,” Shiro let out a hollow laugh at the way he sounded like a kid again, “Lance will you let me know when he’s out?”

The altean medicine was working quickly, aided by the fact that he was already utterly spent and leaving his eyes fluttering as his breathing evened out. He didn’t want to fall asleep still worked up or he’d probably be restless, maybe even come to and be more disoriented than before. So he dragged out the relief of slowly being pulled to sleep by the flick of Lance’s fingers on his arm, forcing his eyes to remain open as long as he could manage.

“Yep, shouldn’t be long,” Lance noted when Keith let out a hissing yawn and turned his face towards Lance’s chest, his cheek resting against the squishiest part he could find and making Lance stifle a gasp.

Keith wasn’t known for being cuddly and the gesture, though not really a conscious one, made Lance’s stomach flutter. He wasn’t able to dwell on it long though because Shiro was addressing him again.

“Can you pinch his arm...?”

Lance obliged and Keith didn’t make a sound.

“Perfect, okay, you won’t get squeamish will you?”

“Uh... glue is a bit different than a needle but even that sort of freaked me out.”

“Alright then, you can clean and dissolve what opened up while I handle what’s already free,” Shiro determined as he ushered the familiar supplies closer to Lance.

He took up the needle which was already threaded and sighed heavily before pulling Keith’s desk chair flush up against the bed.

“Help me get him more on his side.”

They managed to by Lance pulling him by the shoulders and more onto his lap as Shiro pushed.

Shiro breathed deeply then, something in his eyes flickering as he removed the soaked through bandage from the younger boy’s hip. His entire side coated again, the skin visibly raised and puffy.

Lance took up the wound wash and showed it to Shiro who nodded, bringing the towel up to catch the excess liquid as he poured. Once he’d sopped up what had bled again Shiro started with the widest gash, the hardened glue was easy to pull off with how horribly it had been secured over such a large area. Lance looked elsewhere, focusing on removing the glue from the other reopened wounds.

Shiro operated like a robot after that, known quite literally for a precise hand but what happened next took that generalization to a whole other level. His fingers moved swiftly, tying off stitches almost faster than Lance could wash out the gashes but definitely quicker than he could remove the blue tinted glaze. He had to scrub and scrape at the substance from the open wounds, the bloody mess they’d become making the task harder than it ought to have been.

In actuality only a few had reopened, but they were also the deepest. Some of them took upwards of five stitches, others two or three. The proximity of them to each other, especially to ones that were still glued, made it difficult for Shiro to figure out where to place the needle.

They were done after ten or so minutes but when Shiro sat back to analyze his work, he frowned.

“What’s up?” Lance questioned dubiously.

Shiro didn’t answer, just brought his hand down to examine the glue that was barely holding about a dozen more wounds together. They’d grown darker, the amount of red beneath the generous amount of blue visibly greater than the lesser wounds as more blood gathered and threatened to burst out as well.

“Some of these look like they’re about to go too, they haven’t clotted. I don’t think they’d heal right if I don’t stitch them up, they’d leave worse, uh—worse scars.”

Lance nodded transfixedly, not sure if his heart could take hearing more things like that, more direct acknowledgments of how one of his best friends had hurt himself so badly... how it hadn’t been the first time... how he couldn’t make sure it was the last if even Shiro had failed to.

“-nce. Lance, hey, don’t let me lose you now. I need you to work on dissolving the rest of the glue,” Shiro said, his tone gentle again as he brought Lance back from the depths of his weary mind.

“Right,” he affirmed more for himself as he brought the dissolving liquid back down while Shiro rethreaded his needle.

Opening a just about to burst wound was admittedly a lot harder on Lance’s stomach than freeing one that had already. There was so much more blood because when he was done with one side it’d spring open and pool immediately as he fought to dissolve the rest before it spilled out and got everywhere.

Both of them were coated then, the only saving grace that kept Lance’s nerves at bay was Shiro having the forethought to have them both wear gloves, but that just made it seem like a literal operation. And with the amount of black threading Keith back together it was seeming more like one each horrible minute it droned on.

Shiro had lost his vest and jacket somewhere around the third time he had to rethread his needle, Lance’s discarded too after some time, both of them uncomfortably warm as they poured over stitching Keith back together.

Oh, oh god.

That did it for him.

Lance huffed shakily and turned his head away as he nearly lost it again over how much he wished he could do more than just help heal his wounds, he wanted to mend every one of his broken pieces, put the parts of him back together that you couldn’t see.

He couldn’t stand the thought of slapping a bandage on what had happened and ever going about normally again.

“Lance...”

Shiro looked at him with sorry eyes, wanting to hug him as he blinked back tears but Keith was very much preventing that from being possible.

“I’m okay, sorry—it’s just a lot.”

“I know. We’re almost done if that helps, just need to finish up on this one and then I want to take a quick look at his leg,” Shiro offered as he got back to the gash that was almost closed.

“It wasn’t as bad, only a few were deep,” Lance noted, his eyes glossy as they stared at Shiro’s busy hands, not even registering the way they pulled on Keith’s skin as they tied off the last knot.

Shiro nodded, sneaking a worried glance over at Lance who didn’t meet his gaze as he finished applying an ungodly amount of tape over top the gauze he’d put on the area. He then manhandled Keith’s leg so he could get at his thigh.

Lance looked down at his arms. There wasn’t much blue of the medical gloves on his hands showing, blood smeared past even that and up his arms. He hurriedly yanked at them, peeling one off within the other and folding the outer one over itself.

“Just toss it, I’ll clean this all up later.”

Shiro suggested noticing how dangerously close Lance was to unraveling and hoping to delay it until he could actually help.

He was right though, only a handful required stitches and half as many as the ones on his hip had needed at that. Shiro was done in record time, taking over Lance’s job of removing the glue and cleaning up the mess that followed, finishing by wrapping a thicker bandage around his leg and taping it in place.

When Shiro finally sat back and started to clean up he was dimly aware that Lance was silently crying and had scooted further down the bed to hold Keith more securely in his arms. Though he was definitely out he had never fully stopped shaking, but now it seemed more like a nervous system response to the nowhere near healthy amount of blood he’d lost. Lance moved his hands up and down his arm in attempt to soothe him anyway.

Shiro brought the throw blanket at the foot of the bed over the two of them after he’d removed all of the trashed medical supplies from it. Lance’s eyes had fluttered shut but were open now.

“He shouldn’t be up anytime soon but you look wiped, figured you’d want to stay...”

He nodded absently, eyes bleary but understanding as Shiro moved about the room for a little before sitting down at the foot of the bed.

“I’ll handle talking to him about all this tomorrow but in the case that he isn’t entirely dead to the world when the morning drill alarm goes off, tell him that he is not only excused but barred from training and piloting Red until his stitches are out.”

Lance just nodded again and yawned, pulling the blanket over the rest of his upper body.

“And Lance... “

He eyed Lance with a sort of fondness then.

“I know how fucked up tonight was, it couldn’t have been easy. You didn’t have to help him, you could’ve just gotten me, but you did. And I don’t know what kind of headspace he’ll be in when he wakes up but I do know he’ll be grateful you were there for him... even if he has a funny way of showing it.”

The lump in Lance’s throat bobbed threateningly, his eyes stinging again as he whispered a meak ‘thanks’ as Shiro stood up and leaned closer to ruffle his perfect hair before he turned to leave, shutting the lights off before he did.

[writingwithcolor]

Find your next diverse read! #2 (WWC Reader Publications)

We asked you to tell us about your publications, and here they are! 

These are the eleven (11) books submitted to us, written by Writing With Color readers. 

Book Titles

Always Darkest

Commonwealth

Faerie Rising: The First Book of Binding

Fate (The St. Cloud Chronicles) 

A Hero’s Tale

Less than Three

Moonrise

Not So Stories Anthology

OPEN: A Tale of Love, Mermaids, Bassists, & Creepy Dudes

The Path to Dawn

To Whom it Doesn't Concern

--

Book Descriptions

Title: Always Darkest

Author: Jess and Keith Flaherty | @demonsrunlit Series: Yes Buy: Amazon Premise:  Supernatural meets Good Omens with a dash of romance and divine chaos.‪ Ben wants a vacation away from Hell, but Mal reveals a path to redemption instead. ‬ On the run from Heaven and Hell, a demon becomes a hero. Themes/Elements: Dark Fantasy, Paranormal Romance MC Race/Ethnicity:  White  Other Characters: White  Other Diversity: LQBTQAI+, Religion

--

Title: Commonwealth (Patreon series) 

Author: Adam Lee Series: No Buy: Patreon  Premise: In a near-future U.S. that’s become a hyper-capitalist dystopia of inequality and climate change, a small band of dreamers fight to bring back the vanished era when people worked together and helped each other. Themes/Elements:  Individualism vs. mutuality, capitalism vs. socialism MC Race/Ethnicity: Biracial black/white Other Characters:  Latino (Mexican), Jewish, Japanese/Chinese Other Diversity: Economic and environmental justice, sexism and pregnancy discrimination

--

Title: Faerie Rising: The First Book of Binding

Author: A. E. Lowan | @aelowan (multiple authors) Series: Yes Buy: Amazon Premise: 

Winter Mulcahy is the last wizard in the city of Seahaven, WA and all that stands between the fractious preternatural population and total chaos. Holding the city together by the skin of her teeth, the blood of her friends, and an addiction to stimulants that is slowly killing her, the young wizard is approached by a pair of sidhe lords. They claim that her city is harboring a fugitive who has kidnapped a sidhe prince, and that they are on a mission to rescue the boy.

Winter must investigate this fugitive to get to the truth of the kidnapping, discover the cause of the surges of wild magic tearing open rifts between realms across her city, and navigate the deadly waters of preternatural politics before Seahaven both figuratively and literally rips itself apart.

Themes/Elements: Addiction, redemption, found families MC Race/Ethnicity: (multiple POVS)

Young black hero just coming into his powers

Teenage wizard who proves that weight won’t slow her down

Physician at the breaking point who is addicted to stimulants

Two bisexual men in a dance of attraction (one survivor of childhood sexual assault)

Young trans man who will play a larger role in the second book

Gay Viking vampire king and his lover. 

Afro-Latina wolf queen 

Afro-Latino Lion King

--

Title: FATE 

Author: Jade Stewart | @j-a-stewart Series: Yes Buy: Amazon Premise:  FATE is a YA fantasy novel about a teenage girl from the Bronx who realizes there’s more to her new home in Buffalo, and herself, than meets the eye. Themes/Elements: Urban fantasy, magic/wizards, werewolves, vampires, benefits of hard work, fate, moving to a new city, romance, revenge MC Race/Ethnicity: African-American Other Characters: Japanese, Jamaican-American and Romanian (mixed race), & American Other Diversity/Topics: Anti-bullying, high school, friendship

--

Title: A Hero’s Tale

Author: J. Stern | @theactualjstern Series: No Buy: Amazon Premise: Sam Garrett is determined to be a normal kid in spite of his superpowers, only to have his resolve questioned when his powers are exposed to the world and he becomes the target of a powered villain determined to remove all powered from the world. Themes/Elements:  coming of age, superhero MC Race/Ethnicity: African American Other Characters: Black, mixed race Philipino and Mexican, Greek Other Diversity: queer characters of color (bisexual and trans), queer characters, disability (Deaf), mental illness (PTSD, anxiety), gender parity of characters

--

Title: Less than Three

Author:  Téa Belog | @transannabeth Series: No Buy:  Amazon | Books2Read | Goodreads Premise: Ren has been in love with his best friend for the past three years, Calliope has spent most of her life dancing, and Ingrid plans to start over in college, to go beyond what held her back in high school. Less Than Three is a collection of three short stories about a group of friends. Together, they shoulder their way through romance, all-nighters, and the occasional dragon. Themes/Elements: Romance, friendship, coming of age, mental illness, and college MC Race/Ethnicity: Japanese and Black (Calliope and Ingrid respectively, individual POVs) Other Characters: Indian, Vietnamese, and white Other Diversity: LGBTQIA+ (trans and nonbinary characters, gay characters), depression

--

Title: Moonrise (interactive novel)

Author: Natalie Cannon Series: No Buy: Choice of Games Premise: You’re here. You’re queer. You’re a werewolf. Who will you kiss under the moonlight? Themes/Elements: queer femme werewolves, fighting for humanity or giving into the beast, romance, aligning with the tradition of the Masquerade or breaking free with the desperate Rogues, found family MC Race/Ethnicity: Intentionally left up to player interpretation Other Characters: Black, Japanese, Mexican, Jewish Other Diversity: Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, polyamorous, aromantic, trans, nonbinary gender options and/or characters. Amputee character. Mental illness mention

--

Title: Not So Stories Anthology

Author: Multiple authors of colour Series: No Buy: Goodreads Premise:  Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories was a timeless classic. It is also deeply rooted in British colonialism. Not So Stories attempts to redress the balance, bringing together new and established writers of colour from around the world to take the Just So Stories back; giving voices to cultures that were long deprived them. Themes/Elements: Fantasy, ghost stories, fairy tales.  MC Race/Ethnicity: Various Other Diversity:  LGBTQIA+ characters

--

Title: OPEN: A Tale of Love, Mermaids, Bassists, & Creepy Dudes

Author: Emilie Nantel | @emilienantel Series: No Buy: Emilie Nantel  Premise:  A queer, polyamorous romcom for millennials, OPEN: A Tale of Love, Mermaids, Bassists, & Creepy Dudes is the story of Amy, bi, 25, in an open relationship, navigating the ups – dating gorgeous people – and downs – trying to avoid creeps – of the Montreal dating scene, when she falls in love with a hot bassist. This was not part of the plan. Themes/Elements: Queer found family, polyamorous relationship, friendship breakups MC Race/Ethnicity: White Other Characters: Black endgame love interest; half Filipina/half White best friend Other Diversity: Polyamory, bisexual MC, a cast all across the LGBTQIA+ community, MC is fat and has anxiety.

--

Title: The Path to Dawn

Author: Miri Castor | @miricastor Series: Yes Buy: Amazon Premise: Opal Charm is still grieving the loss of her brother when she meets a mysterious student in her class. Through their budding friendship, Opal discovers she has special powers, powers that brother once had. But she must learn how to wield them before an evil force destroys all that she loves. Themes/Elements: PoC kids/teens with superpowers, platonic relationships, family ties, light and darkness MC Race/Ethnicity: Black Other Characters: Filipino Other Diversity: LGBTQIA+ (Book 2) & depression

--

Title: To Whom it Doesn't Concern

Author: Wisdom A. Yarborough Series: No Buy:  Amazon | Goodreads Premise: (TW Suicide) 

A kid at Mortimer’s school has thrown himself off the roof. Everyone is freaking out, and trying to deal with the situation, while Mortimer wants this all to just pass as quickly as possible. It wasn’t like he was close to the kid who died, so there’s no reason to be concerned, or to even care? …Right?

Themes/Elements: Dealing with loss/grief, Suicide/Depression/Mental Health & Healing MC Race/Ethnicity: White  Other Characters: Topher, the love interest, is Pakistani-American. Mortimer’s ex girlfriend is black.

Other Diversity: Topher is Canonically Pansexual, Mortimer realizes he’s bisexual throughout the story, Many characters suffer with depression, and depression/suicide/suicidal thoughts are a huge part of the themes of the story, and coping with those feelings.

--

Read the first book share here: Find your next diverse read #1

Folks - If you read any of these books, please leave the author a review.

WWC Reader Publications - Winter 2019/2020 

[threedimensions]

hey want to read some words? some words in the form of a story? a story about a band, scandal, tragedy and loss, with a helping of time travel as a method to rewrite the past? how about some ~unconventional~ relationships (most prominently gay triad/gay vee) and then some more time travel to rewrite the earlier past?? well that sounds so damn neato i'm gonna link some of it

the story is called 'three dimensions', which refers to the three timelines (not actual different dimensions, but both 'different timelines' and 'different aspects of life') that happen due to two specific instances of time travel. two close friends start a band, which becomes popular; it then comes out in a very public way that they had a sexual relationship, which leads to the depression and ultimate death for one of them. the reminder have lackluster lives...until someone else dies, wakes, and finds himself in the past with the opportunity to alter that event and change the future, save them all. things are great for a while until death takes back the one they'd saved, who then goes back in time himself to alter another part of their past and attempt to pass on his good fortune by saving someone else, not counting the cost to himself, and he comes to realize just how different, but the same, some things can be.

there is always a band and there's always more than two, though in what capacity differs. they don't know how the time travel works and they don't talk about it as most wouldn't believe them; their world is almost the same as ours except that those with a little extra (usually low-level psychic talent) can experience a little extra. (this isn't a focus point of the story and only comes up occasionally.) **addition: their world doesn't include fuckin covid because that ruined the absolute fuck out of a bunch of timeline shit so i'm leaving it out because i can >:\

interested??? some links, and in the cut, some specific story links!

short(ish) timeline that more spells out what happens

cast/characters post

full timeline and stories + soundtrack

profile on dw

keep reading for suggested starting places/best or most important ones of what's posted/good recs. pls rb & also lmk what you think (via comment on posts or dm or whatev)

if they're starred i extra rec them. some are hooked together with a slash but are separate stories/links. some have a tw for s*icide and some have 18+ scenes. word counts are approximate.

clairvoyant (~650) – how 5yo mark comes to realize he is different (psychic tendencies)

that's the one (~3.7k) – brandon and mark meet in a guitar shop

see if i care/resistance is useless- (~1.2k/~1.3k) – mark and brandon's separate pov of a night mark spends comforting brandon after terry's family leaves

**the mark special (~12.7k) – 'a day in the life' sort of story, where brandon and mark hang out, deal with brandon's pot business, and talk about current events

***should i stay or should i go now (~16.5k) – brandon's family is moving and he has to decide if he is staying behind or going along. he decides to stay and he and mark get an apartment in the city together.

**idea (~8.6k) – mark's girlfriend convinces him to ask brandon to have sex with him in front of her for her amusement (18+ for m/f sex, long paragraph near beginning if you want to skip)

futile (~4.7k) – years later, after the band is gaining in popularity, katelan attemps to blackmail them with the photos she took of them; they try to talk to her but it doesn't work

crashing (~1.3k) – jack observes mark as he comes to realize that he has, in fact, been wrong this entire time

***distance (~2.5k) – brandon and mark finally talk a little about the situation, but nothing is resolved

*dealer's choice 4/4: ambitus (~3.5k) – of brandon's relationship with drugs; the highs and the lows (the last in a mini-series but i think the best one/covers more time & other events)

backfire (~2.5k) – mark's dad gets mark and brandon to play a little set in his bar, hoping it helps his son feel better. it doesn't. (tw for s*icidal thoughts)

surrender (~2.9k) – mark visits jack and airs out some of his aching thoughts, asking that jack tell no one, and he ultimately agrees. (tw for s*icide discussion/plans)

***timeless/desire (~13k/~2.1k) - jack dies and wakes up back in time, sending brandon to save mark this time instead of keeping the secret. this time, everything will be different.

**puzzle (~14k) – brandon and mark (and jack) discuss a polyamorous v  relationship (tw for mentions of s*icide)

try (~2.2k) – jack and mark attempt to cohabitate while navigating poly/v

promising/unpromising (~5.4k/~3.5k) – andrew and keith's pov of being told that mark/brandon are together while brandon/jack are still together

**sense (~4k) – on the one-year anniversary of what would have been mark's death, jack confirms his psychic ability (tw for s*icide mention)

**pick (~6k) – terry invites mark and brandon to his wedding; mark accepts but brandon declines

*attached (~8k) – brandon/mark/jack have embryos made and attempt ivf with jack's sister to have their kids

**terrible threes (~13k) – jack deals with toddler trips by himself for a day

**grow (~7.8k) – irina is misunderstood and everyone gets a lesson

flags (~3k) – the trips are bullied at kindergarten for having gay parents

***had a dad (~9.7k) – mark goes to stay with terry during a crisis and thinks a lot about fathers, the past, and himself (18+ for short [2 paragraphs after 'what i live for' if u want to skip] m/m sexual situation) (tw for s*icide & discussion + pov character thinking about past experiences)

and there are...uh...quite a lot of other stories. but these are some of the best imho~ & some of my favs of the ones that are posted already. Some I still badly need to edit and post but I have not got there yet. I also still need to write quite a lot of it but have not got there yet either even tho i've been working on this story for more than ten years, but there absofuckinglutely is more if anyone wants to check out the full timeline links or sm :)

[tillman]

hello 1nce again , valentine, tis i, gaywainn, but liek, i wuz jsut comin in again 2 ask, like, my friend wnts 2 strt reading Arthurian stuff but she specifically jsut wnts to focus on lancelot n stuff? do u hve recs or anything for her, im liek rly new to it n yanked book of galehaut retold so i dunno where itd b gud for her to start 😳😔

o345uyr hell yea :-) this is my evolutionary niche ........ 

uhmm i mean yea the book of galehaut was my real investment into arthuriana i really love that book... its good. if u need a scan dm me this goes for anyone !

uhhh i think the next best place to start would be Lancelot and the hart with the white foot. its a dutch text and short but its so good... i adore this text maybe just cus i spent months hunting it down but i do love it to bits. it takes one of the most commonly used root stories and makes it about lancelot <3 so like poggers (heres a link to my scan of that) 

from there ...... i bully him a lot but chretien de troyes Knight of the Cart is one of his good works and honestly really fun (tw for suicide tho like please be careful of this bit. i feel like trigger warnings arent talked about a lot in regards to arthuriana but they are needed here. no one actually dies but its good to know). 

i have a link to the doc with all of his works, but i personally have a version on google docs to fix the main issue i have with that pdf (very low visibility, SUPER long paragraphs with no spaces) also i changed a few words i think . dont remember exactly. (heres my easier to read version) (heres the source) 

its a bit longer and more dense but i also really like lanzelet :-) itsss the german version of some of the older lancelot tales and its just kinda funney. lancelot gets married a bunch and then at the end just lives out his life with sebile . wlw/mlm solidarity u think . dm me for that one i dont have the source of the pdf on hand whoops

uhhhm from there there are the longer two works that include him (the vulgate cycle+its additions which arent worth it, and le morte d’arthur) 

the vulgate is hard to get but pm me i have the first bit scanned if youre interested. its long and goes into more depth about lancelot as a person than any of these. 

le morte is le morte. its kinda the most well known text and while on one hand i love it, you shouldnt read the full text first. i say this as someone whos read both versions, but keith baines has a shorter and more succinct rendition and makes it way more fun. if you do wanna read the original text go for it but its like 900 pages and most of it is a slog to get to the fun bits. 

we have. half a scan of baines but honestly ill sit down and do that this week and get teh full thing up if anyones interested. u can aslo find the full text on project gutenberg here. 

uhmmm other than that lancelot just kinda appears in other shit mostly without much involvement. i like him in Morien which is a short and sweet dutch tale, i like him in most the dutch tales really. the dutch are sooo good ill grab reys post on how to read those too. uhmmmmm hes in some renditions of the prose tristan which i think is funny, and hes in my personal favorite of those(/the only one ive read) the povest in which he and tristan r dumb homos. wait threes also Lancelot of the Laik but im ashamed to admit i havent read that one. i do have it on hand tho so hmu.  

for something more modern uhm the only modern author i trust is Richard Hovey (modern is being used loosely here). his short verses and his longer verse project on arthuriana are both just so beautiful. The last love of sir gawain i think is especially killer (:-)) but also Lancelot and Guenevere, a poem in dramas is literally maybe one of my favorite works ever. its nice. ill hunt down a copy if anyone asks. if not hovey, robinson’s Lancelot from 1921 is so beautiful it made me cry a lot. its longer but so . SO good. ive made a comic of a bit of that one too OIET$PWGJYH. 

anwaysy uhh i hope this helped i missed a few cys im about to head right back to bed but uhhmmmmmm yeas <3 always feel free toa sk for specific links some i have on hand just dont want to share in public fr whatever reason 

[madeofstardust17]

Whumptober prompt 21. Hallucinations

Rating: G

Tw: none

Team as family

Oh boy is this angsty. There's a special bonus at the end bc it's my baby boy's bday.

...

The paladins of Voltron looked like scared teenagers.

They were teenagers, so young Shiro sometimes felt angry that they had to fight in a war, that he was leading a team of child soldiers. 

But today they looked like teens. Today, they weren’t the paladins of Voltron, they were lonely kids away from home. 

He scanned the room.

Lance was looking at the floor, hunched over with a sober look on his face. From time to time, his face would crumble as tears would spring to his eyes. He would shake his head and continue like nothing had happened. 

Hunk wasn’t moving at all, and was just covering his face with his hands.

Pidge’s face was blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot, but had stopped crying. 

And Keith just sat there, leaning into the sofa with his eyes closed, almost as if he were sleeping. 

Shiro ran a hand through his hair

“Guys” he called, they all looked at him “we have to talk about what happened”

Lance smiled humorlessly “there’s nothing to talk about” he said “we were captured and led to believe we were home, and then you woke us up and reality punched us in the face”

His voice shook slightly at the end.

No one spoke. 

And as Shiro opened his mouth to say something, Pidge scoffed and rubbed her eyes 

“Look at us, the mighty paladins of Voltron, falling to pieces because of some hallucinations” she barked out a laugh “We’re pathetic”

Shiro sprang up from his eat so fast everyone looked at him in shock.

“No” his voice was hard and even “I want you to listen to me very carefully” he lowered his tone, making it sound almost threatening. Lance and Hunk looked a bit scared but he didn’t care, he needed them to understand. 

He met everyone’s eyes one by one before speaking. 

“What happened today, those hallucinations, they’re psychological torture” he ran a hand through his hair again, suddenly nervous “I’ve seen it before, when I was a prisoner. I don’t know how they do it, but they make you see the people you want to see the most. Then those people ask you questions, regarding the information the galra want from you. If you still don’t answer them, the hallucination changes, and you see the people getting tortured” his expression darkened “I’ve seen the toughest aliens crying and pleading as they ‘see’ their loved ones tortured”

Silence filled the room. Finally, Pidge broke it 

“Have they ever used it on you? Is that why you were able to wake up?”

Shiro shook his head with a wry smile 

“No. They made me see my grandfather... and Adam” Keith, who was looking at the ground again, looked at him briefly, but quickly looked away when Shiro caught his eye.

“My grandfather was the one who raised me. He died shortly after I graduated from the Garrison”

Pidge looked down at her lap

“Oh”

More silence as they all lost themselves in their thoughts.

Shiro allowed this for a few minutes before he spoke again.

“We need to talk about it”

“Why?” He wasn’t surprised when he saw Keith tense up, already defensive. Shiro glared right back

“Because it’s important. Because we have been tortured today and I’d be one shitty leader if I let you walk out of here without talking about it” he looked around the room “now… who’s going to start?”

Silence again. Until…

“You all saw my reaction” Pidge huffed. Shiro was surprised, he had expected Pidge to be second-to-last, Keith being the obvious last. 

“I was crying until we reached the lions. I saw Matt, and my dad, and mom” she didn’t say anything for a few moments “is it wrong that I wanted to stay there? That I wanted to believe it was real?”

“No” Lance told her. He looked like he wanted to reach out and hug her, but looked scared about the reaction. He met Shiro’s eye, asking, and Shiro nodded subtly. Lance put an arm around Pidge. She leaned into him.

“I left my mom alone” she said, and her voice sounded unusually high “she doesn’t know if I’m alive. I told myself that I was doing the right thing when I ran away, but-“ her voice broke

“You feel guilty” Lance finished. She nodded, a few tears running down her cheeks.

“Katie” Pidge looked up, looking at Shiro with big honey eyes, which seemed amplified by the tears.

“We’re going to find your family. And when we do, because we will, you’re going to get them home, and you’re going to give your mom the biggest hug and apologize. And you’ll probably be grounded for the rest of your life” he said the last phrase quickly, and smiled when it made her laugh.

“Yeah” she agreed, rubbing her eye.

It wasn’t a perfect fix, Shiro told himself, but at least she had gotten it out of her chest. 

When she didn’t speak anymore, Shiro looked at the three boys.

And this time it was Hunk who spoke up.

He looked pale, and his eyes were widened with horror.

“I was telling my parents about voltron” he said, and Shiro’s heart sank.

“How much?” 

“I was telling them about you when you woke me up”

Shiro nodded, exhaling slowly 

“They already know a lot about me, I doubt the learnt much”

“I’m so sorry” 

His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

“It’s okay, Hunk” Shiro smiled at him “you didn’t do any harm”

“I knew there was something off, I could feel it” His voice was unusually husky now, and he was staring at the floor, as if transfixed.

“Hunk. Look at me”

He did, and a few tears escaped his red eyes. 

“You have great instincts, Hunk. Listen to them. Something doesn’t feel right? You come tell me, or whoever you are with at the moment. Your gut hasn’t failed us yet” 

Hunk nodded, sending his way a small but truthful smile. 

Shiro gave Hunk a few moments to add something, and when he didn’t, he turned to the youngest of the boys

“Lance?”

Shiro had been surprised when Lance hadn’t been first to share, as he usually was. Now he looked more like Keith, defensive and closed off.

“I’ve already told” he said, crossing his arms “I thought I was home, and reality punched me in the face”

“You miss your home” 

Lance nodded curtly, and then flicked away a tear like it was a pesky fly.

“It doesn’t matter” 

“It does matter, Lance”

“It doesn’t. Being homesick won’t defeat Zarkon, and I’ve already bothered you all with this before-“

“You’re not a bother, Lance” Shiro cut him off. Lance hung his head but didn’t respond. 

There was silence for a few moments.

“The thing about leaving a home…” Shiro looked at Keith, eyes wide. Keith continued, not looking away from Lance “is that the only way to quell homesickness is to find people that become home”

Lance went to speak, looking doubtful

“Take it from a kid who’s been in the system since he was eight”

The smirk that he sent Lance was gentle, not at all like he’s usual ones. 

“Does it ever stop?” His voice was hoarse 

“Not completely” Keith didn’t hesitate. 

Lance seemed thankful Keith had told the truth, and smiled at him. 

“I saw my dad” Keith said, leaning back and closing his eyes “big surprise there, he’s the only one I miss”

“Hey, Keith?” Pidge seemed hesitant. Keith hummed in question 

“Do you ever miss earth?” 

Keith opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, thinking about it

“Sometimes. I miss sunsets, and my hoverbike, and my shack” he glanced at Pidge and smiled “but like I said, you guys are my home” 

Everyone smiled, and Shiro felt pride rising in his chest. 

He remembered the lonely, angry kid he had met, and marveled at the young man that sat in front of him. 

“Shiro?” 

Shiro jumped a bit, looking at Pidge 

“What?”

“You need to say something too” Shiro frowned

“I already said” 

“That didn’t count”

Shiro thought about it. 

He couldn’t deny seeing Adam had made his heart ache, like an old wound in bad weather. 

“I made peace with my grandfather’s death a long time ago, but I guess it hurt seeing Adam again, so happy to see me”

It was Lance who spoke this time 

“Do you still love him?”

“I… Yeah” he said softly “I do” he scoffed “but I doubt he would take me back even if he hadn’t found someone else. I messed up”

“Yeah you did” 

Shiro turned to look at Keith.

“When you disappeared, we stuck together for a while” he huffed out a laugh “we either cursed you to oblivion or we’d praise you”

He smiled, and then it faltered 

“God, we were so hurt” 

He looked at shiro, his eyes hard

“I don’t know if he’ll take you back, but I can promise you, he loved you even when you left”

Shiro smiled at him, a little sadly, but a little hopeful too.

“Thank you, Keith”

He looked around at his team.

The guilty, the sorry, the hurt and the mourning.

But he also saw something else in their expressions, the strange sort of peace that you get when you’re surrounded by loved ones.

By family.

And shiro knew he had done well today.

…

A bonus for Keith’s b-day:

They all lingered in the lounge room that night after dinner, instead of going to their bedrooms as usual. 

Every time Shiro brought up going to bed, they would all try to ignore the comments. 

Finally, the conversation drifted off, leaving a tense silence. 

Shiro sighed. Teenagers 

“Alright” he called “who wants to stay here tonight”

They all raised their hands.

10 minutes later, they were all laying down in the middle of the circle the couched formed. 

They lay in their usual places: Shiro sandwiched between Keith and Pidge, Hunk in pidges other side, and Lance next to Keith, although this particular combination usually ended in bickering, and the two boys sulking as they were hit with multiple pillows. 

Not tonight though.

Tonight they were all pleasantly dozing, maybe a little closer than they usually were, but no one pointed it out.

Pidge’s clocked bipped, signaling midnight. 

Shiro turned to his side

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?” He mumbled 

“Happy birthday kiddo” he muttered, dropping a kiss on his head. 

Keith's eyes opened

“Oh. Right”

They looked at each other before Keith huffed out a laugh 

“I can’t believe you remembered”

“I can’t believe you forgot”

“Shut uuuupppp” Pidge moaned 

“It’s Keith’s birthday” Shiro said. Keith groaned and buried his face on his pillow.

Pidge immediately sat up, wide awake. 

“Whoa, really?”

“Why didn’t you tell, Mullet?” Lance whacked Keith’s shoulder 

“I forgot” he mumbled, still buried underneath his pillow.

“Tomorrow- or later today I suppose- I’ll make those cookies you like so much” Hunk said.

That got Keith to abandon his hiding place. 

He looked at Hunk hopefully

“Really?”

Hunk was weak to those big indigo eyes 

“Of course” 

He beamed at him, his whole face lighting up. 

“We should all go raid Coran’s alcohol stash” Lance said “I know for a fact that he has more than nunvill in there”

“Absolutely not” Shiro spoke up, voice hard 

“You’re no fun” Lance pouted. Keith snickered, feeling warm inside.

Silence followed, only broken by

“Happy birthday, Keith”

“Happy birthday, man”

“Happy b-day, buddy” 

Keith grinned

“Thanks guys”

…

“You know, tomorrow I could cut your mullet, it’d be my birthday present to-“

“GOOD NIGHT LANCE”

...

Would you look at that? Not a cheesy ending. Comments give me life :)

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Ok so i know i shouldnt be doing this cause i dont want to die but im a masochist apparently so here it goes: so when aria was born everybody was happy at first but doctors made some kind of mistake and pidge died(oops). And now keith has to raise the kids alone and tell everybody and y'know let your mind develop the possibilities and suffering. Also how the holts will accept that(sorry not sorry)

WELP THIS IS SHORT BECAUSE IT HURT BUT I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!!!

TW: Character Death, TW: Pregnancy Complications

It wasn’t supposed to end up like this.

Keith winced as he watched Colleen collapse to her knees,wailing in horror. Sam stared for a long moment, eyes wide in disbelief, beforetears of his own started up. He dropped down to wrap his arms around his wife,pulling her in close and beginning to speak in soft, choked words. Matt,meanwhile, instead channeled his grief into anger and seized him up by hiscollar. “I told you this was a badidea! I told both of you!” He growledquietly, eyes starting to water and his hands trembling. Keith didn’t say anything,as he didn’t know what to say. What do you say, he thought, in this situation? “Thatchild shouldn’t have been born!”

“That’s enough,” He said, a small bit of his usual firekindling. He felt so tired, so emotionally drained, but he still had some senseof himself. In only a few short hours, one of the most important people in hisworld was gone. Pidge was gone, lost after the complications from the labor.Their second daughter had survived and was doing well, but that said nothingabout what would happen with the older three.

Even still, he knew Pidge loved Aria, and never would havetolerated Matt saying such a thing.

Matt stared at him for a moment before closing his eyestightly, tears starting to leak out. “It just isn’t fair,” He choked out.

He carefully pried Matt’s hands off of him. A part of himstill wanted to comfort him, but he had other priorities. “I need to go. I needto sit with the kids,” He said quietly. He turned and headed around the cornerto where everyone else was waiting.

Amber and Kaden were clamoring all over Kolivan, Amberpoised over his shoulders like a boa or scarf, while Kaden was latched onto oneof his legs. Both children were squealing and giggling, while Kolivan himselfwas chuckling as he continued to walk around the waiting room with the twochildren draped over him. Krolia was settled in a seat with Oliver, watchingthe spectacle with an amused grin, gently bouncing the baby boy. Oliver wasdozing a bit, eyes slowly drooping shut but then fluttering back open at anyloud, excited squeal from the older two. The rest of their friends would bestarting to trickle by later, though Shiro sat beside Krolia, watching thedisplay before them with amusement of his own. Keith hadn’t been ready to telleveryone right away. He had to tell the Holt’s first, though.

His mother perked up, still smiling, but the look falteredat his haunted expression. She carefully stood up and walked over, gentlyreadjusting her grip on Oliver so that he could doze off against her shoulder. “Keith?”She asked softly.

He looked at her then looked away. “I… I need to talk toAmber and Kaden,” He mumbled.

She looked at him, taking in the red-rimmed eyes and teartracks still left on his cheeks. She then glanced down and saw his knuckleswere scrapped and red, implying he’d been hitting something. Her stomach lurkedand her heart twisted at the realization of what was happening. “Are Pidge andthe baby…?” She trailed.

“Aria’s okay but Pidge,” He said, choking off as he spokeher name. He clenched his hands into fists, wanting nothing more than to gopunch another wall. He’d been rather surprised that the hospital staff had beenfine with him losing his cool like he had, none of them commenting on thesizeable dent he’d left in the wall beside the room where he lost her.

“Keith, I’m so sorry,” Krolia whispered, tears misting upher own eyes, reaching out to set one hand on his shoulder. He nodded a bit,wanting to say more, but he could see movement out of the corner of his eye.

“Daddy!” Amber squealed as she darted over, Kaden just a fewsteps behind her. She paused, however, as she took in his expression. Did sheremember almost two years ago, when Oliver had been born? Kaden picked up onthe unease in his sister and dad, looking between them worriedly.

“Where are Mommy and baby sister?” He asked, wringing his fingersin front of himself.

“Baby sister is resting right now, but Mommy,” He said,taking a shuddering breath as he carefully knelt down. He gently ushered thetwo towards him. Kaden fell in to him without a fight, but Amber took an unsurestep back, eyes widening in a panic and fear. “Amber, sweetie.” He breathed outsoftly.

She shook her head. “W-Why aren’t we going up to see her?”She asked, voice growing a bit louder as spoke. This alerted Kolivan and Shiro,the two men standing up and looking over. Thankfully enough, Krolia swept overto the two of them, speaking in soft, hitched whispers.

“Amber,” He repeated, reaching out and barely managing toloop his arm around her. She tried to twist away and make a mad dash for theelevators he’d come from.

“Let me go! I’mgonna go see Mommy!” She protested as he pulled her in closer. Kaden wastrembling, pressing himself closer into Keith and letting out small hiccupping breathes.He loved his kids so much, but sometimes he lamented that they had inherited Pidge’skeen intellect. In a moment like this, he wished they weren’t clever enough intheir young age to surmise what was happening.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl,” He choked out as he curled herinto him.

She stared up at him for a moment, defiance blazing in herlike a fire, before her lower lip trembled and it all washed away. She threwherself into him, wailing out a cry for her other parent. Kaden followed afterher a second later, and he curled them both into him as tight and close as hecould get, dipping his head and letting himself cry more.

He cried for the loss of the love of his life, the onlyperson he’d ever truly connected with in such a natural way.

He cried for Amber and Kaden, who would forevermore bear thepains of missing her every day going forward, of feeling a pain he himself wasfar too familiar with.

And even still, he cried for Oliver and Aria, who were stillso incredibly young and would have to rely on nothing but the shared stories ofothers to know who their mother was.