#also writing from a 7 year olds pov is fun but i have no idea if it sounds right so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[walkinginland]

Seven Sentence/Last Line Sunday

thank you to @flyinghome-againstthewind, @philtstone, and @freneticfloetry for the various tags over the past few days!! I haven't written anything recently but today I jotted some lines down for *checks notes* a fic in a fandom none of you are in. so. there's that. sorry?

Have a lil bit from my 911 chris pov 5+1 that i cobbled together just now from phone notes and ramblings

Dad’s new friend Buck is awesome. Even awesomer than library book earthquakes. He knows all about earthquakes (way more than his library book), and dogs, and he comes from Pennsylvania, which is not in California, but is also not in Texas, and he’s seen snow. Christopher has never seen snow before. And he has a cool car. The drive home from school takes ages, and Christopher still isn’t quite sure why Buck had to drive Dad to come pick him up, or what happened to Dad’s truck, but Buck lets Chris talk to him the whole time, Sometimes with Dad adding in something he forgot. Dad’s got a weird, kinda confused look on his face the whole time.

open tag to anyone who has a few sentences of anything they'd like to share!!

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[faejilly]

writing patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @junemermaid, no-pressure tagging anyone who would like, because I have no idea who's seen and either done or passed on this one lately. PLEASE PLEASE DO IT AND BLAME ME IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST INCLINATION, I love seeing these things, I'm just brain-dead re: tagging today. 💙

1. Vakarian makes Shepard feel old.

Chicory, Mass Effect, Weaver Shepard, not on AO3 yet because I'm trying to turn it into a series of first/early impressions of the ME1 crew from Shepard's perspective. But then I've done Kaidan's first impression of Shepard already, so I can't decide if I should do her version of that or figure out another one. But also should I add Joker? I should always add Joker. But then in what order? (You can see the overthinking process here, can't you?) SOMEDAY I WILL WRITE WEAVER & TALI AND IT WILL BE DELIGHTFUL. She adores Tali. But also wishes to keep her safely in engineering 99% of the time. BUT ALSO...

anyway. back to sentences. ->

2. Emmett had known that he would see her.

Almond Blossoms, 7kpp, Emmett/Sheltered Princess & a lot of chaperone POV's. Also I posted that in September last year so this is clearly going to be a little depressing in terms of my ongoing 'am I a writer anymore?' existential crisis

3. “Don’t move.”

Never Again, Shadowhunters, Malec, sort of omegaverse, sort of weird magic bonds, a very belated prompt fill from the @knotinmyname anti-ai-scraping event.

4. The Matchmaker may have announced them, they may consider themselves engaged, this might be exactly what they should be doing as these connections are exactly what the Summit claims to be for… but Nathalie’s a 'known’ seductress and suspected murderer, but Clarmont’s only 'allowed’ here for the Royal Family to keep an eye on him, to make sure he knows how generous they are being with their mercy.

Relief, 7kpp, Clarmont/Ambitious Widow (Revaire feels!). Yes, that is just one sentence. Yes, I did that on purpose. No, I probably shouldn't have, but idc. 😅

5. Alec hasn’t even been Marked, still technically a fledgling rather than a Shadowhunter, when he learns that most nephilim can’t hear their weapons sing.

untitled eldritch angel powers prequel, Shadowhunters, Alec Lightwood & Politics is my jam, even when he's like 10 or something. As is weird magic and angel lore that I get to make up! Not on ao3 because I think it's going to be in a bigger thing, but I haven't actually done it yet, but I also get really tired of trying to rearrange my AO3 stuff because then I lose links and comments and brain power that should have been used for maybe writing something again some day.

6. All the dealers know Magnus’ name.

Fluff for @foodsies4me! Malec Auctioneer AU on the floor because it made me smile. (I used to be an auction block clerk.)

7. A familiar flare lit up his apothecary, and Magnus reached out to catch the fire message.

working title is 'wtf the clave is competent' and this is another playing-with-lore Shadowhunters prequel (that will eventually be Malec) started off via a Tangential Tuesdays prompt (which is a thing I would like to properly do again, but I keep not writing which makes it tricky)

8. An Omega heir to two old bloodlines in line for a Headship was something the Nephilim hadn’t seen in almost a century, and ought to have been prestigious enough for Alec to have chosen any path or mate he wanted. [x]

9. That was Magnus. [x]

These are both omegaverse prompts for the aforementioned anti-ai event and actually posted on time last June. Both Shadowhunters and Malec and just little bits and pieces of almost things. And fun on their own, imo, but. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Cullen thought he’d gotten used to seeing this new Hawke in Haven.

Gladiolus, Cullen/Hawke, Dragon Age: Inquisition (Hawke as Inquisitor). Another prompt fill, a ficlet for a collection I have on AO3; its continuing existence is almost entirely @jadesabre301's fault.

Well, picking chapters and scenes posted on tumblr rather than my ao3 was probably good for my sanity, since my ao3 is a bit of a mess.

I seem to start with very declarative sentences this past year or so: we are here and this is what we're dealing with. Which is not... how I have previously concluded this meme, but I'm not sure that it's really any different than usual, just more obvious. It's a habit developed, I think, in writing relatively short-fic and also playing with lore or setting, because I very much need to set up my framework if I want anyone else to follow it.

I definitely should try and play some ME and/or watch some Shadowhunters and clean up some of the bits that I would really really like to have as finished stories though. This has successfully reminded me that I do, in fact, usually like writing and still think like a writer, so that's probably good!

/thank you june 🥰

[runawaymarbles]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @chubsthehamster- thanks!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

32, unless you count the book covers. I've got 106 book covers

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

487,170

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever I get stuck on at any given moment. My most recent ones are 9-1-1, Inception, ATS and Hawkeye, but my repeat fandoms are Spn, X-Men, The Old Guard and Black Sails.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm copying chubs and doing my personal favorites, because my top four kudos'd fic are all for the same fandom (The Old Guard) and written within like three weeks of each other.

The Scroll of Saint Barnabas (9-1-1, Buddie, 15k): recency bias, but I had a lot of fun with this one. I also probably drove my girlfriend*and cousin insane during the writing process. Sorry about that. The basic premise is: we all know how time loop fics go, but what if after the loop is broken the character has PTSD from all the things that nobody else remembers? And also what if you get a knotted dildo hooked onto your permanent retainer? *though we've now established consent and parameters for whether we can have sex if one of us is stuck in a time loop. It's always important to have these conversations in advance!!!

What The Moon Was Saying (Spn, destiel, 16k.) It's about Dean rescuing Cas from the Empty, technically, but it's also about Dean working through things he refuses to think about directly, and it's also about the perspective of dead characters who aren't all-knowing and have no clue what happened after they died, and it's also about Inanna's Descent into the Underworld and how many jokes about Sumerian mythology I could fit in there that probably nobody else is going to think are funny but I think are funny, and it's also about what issues Orpheus would have had if he'd succeeded. The central thesis statement is that Margaritaville is thee Dean Winchester Mental State song.

The Mixtape, Or: Six Things You Learn in Thursday School (Spn, destiel, 6k.) I always had this idea that I was going to write a fantasy book of some kind, where the first part would be about the founding of a religion and then the following parts would jump ahead a few hundred years and see how that religion and that original story change in the telling. Instead of writing that book I wrote 6,000 words about a post-apocalyptic religion whose foundational text was the Winchester Gospels, except they don't actually have the Winchester Gospels, so they're relying on collected ephemera and thirdhand accounts. It is also about both academic and online discourse.

The House on Graymalkin Lane (X-Men, background cherik, 92k.) My nice little outsider-POV x-men haunted house fic. It started out as "the x-mansion would be a bonkers haunted house" and then it turned into a love letter to the original timeline (we barely knew ye). It's about the mortifying ordeal of being in high school and also about how all my grandparents died at once and I had a lot of complicated feelings about that.

The Ill-Made Knight (X-Men, cherik, 1.5k) OK so you know that trope that's like "if anyone is going to kill me I want it to be you"?? it's that, but instead of being used as a statement of everlasting love and devotion, it's being used as psychological warfare. And also kind of a statement of everlasting love. But in a fucked up sort of way. Because Cherik.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I didn't used to but I do now because I always like it when people reply to mine. Sometimes I miss them and respond years later but like... I got there eventually?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the whole estate of mortal man. (Black Sails, silverflint, 40k.) Silver is immortal but has a very impermanent self. Flint is mortal and has a very permanent self. There was only one way that was ever going to end and I stand by it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Of recent ones, I guess The Most Fun A Girl Can Have? (Kate/Yelena, 8k.) They're having a pretty good time for most of it.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not since like, high school.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. Hats off to smut writers, you're doing God's work. It's very difficult.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't, unless you count every Marvel fic being a crossover. And Good Omens show/book. But that seems like a cop-out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Some very kind people translated The Punishment of Sisyphus (Black Sails crackfic) and Antebellum (Black Sails, Anne & Eleanor fic) into Russian, Stalefish (Old Guard, Nile-centric) into Polish, and Kidnapping for Dummies (Old Guard, Joe shenanigans) into Spanish. I can only read the Spanish one.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yessss. The #ImmortalHusbands Conspiracy (The Old Guard social media fic) with @phoenix-acid. That was very fun.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Why would you ask me this. This is cruel. I can barely pick a top 5.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

The Marvel pirate AU, probably. It's almost a complete story on its own as it stands. There's about half a next chapter written and I could probably us that to tie things up, if I cut out a bunch of things, but I'd have to reread all my research. I did way too much research for that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voices? I hope it's character voices. I watch a lot of youtube compilations before writing anyone to try and get a handle on how they talk.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The actual romance part of a romance. What do you mean they have to get together after I've set everything up so that they get together? Ridiculous.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never done it before, but I respect people who can pull it off. I do really hate that trope though where a multilingual character calls their love interest pet names in their mother-tongue, when they are never shown using it that way (or mixing that language and English in a conversation) in canon.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

....percy jackson and the olympians.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Since I listed five favorites up there I'm switching this with the kudos question. Fic with the most kudos is Kidnapping for Dummies (The Old Guard, 3.5k)

Tagging @monstrous-femme @thegeminisage @bomberqueen17 @ellelans @annerbhp @significanceofmoths and anyone else who wants to do it. say i tagged you. nobody will ever check to find out.

[verecunda]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @firebatvillain... er... a few weeks ago, I think. Thank you! Sorry it took me so long.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

136.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

396,444.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh, God. Loads, too many to list. Tolkien is currently at the top of the list, and I'm also deep in the extended Jacobite Literary Universe. :D Generally, my fandoms tend to have some sort of historical and/or fantasy setting.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Amo, Amas, Amat (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius) Slightly Scandalous (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius) Kindred Spirits (Ghosts, Captain/Thomas) Reality Bites (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius) Poetry Slam (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius)

My NATM fics are still my most popular ones by a country mile. I still get almost daily kudos on all of them, which is somewhat bamboozling, given that they're pretty old, very short, and there's been a lot more NATM fic written since then. But it is nice that folks are still finding them and reading them. :D

Then there's that random Ghosts one in there, too!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah, almost always. I like to let readers know I appreciate their feedback, and it's fun to flail about our favourite characters and ships. Though right now, I have to admit that I have a bit of a backlog of comments that I need to respond to. But I'll get there. :S

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a few, but possibly Nunc Dimittis, which is about Morgoth sending Sauron away at the final fall of Angband. It ends with Sauron feeling the moment that Melkor is taken captive, then later, when he's cast into the Void, and realising he's now truly alone. That fic was entirely Dark Lord angst. :P

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oof, a fairly tough one. I'm quite big on giving my ships happy endings, wherever possible. But I'll go with A Few Good Years to Spend, because that whole fic was an exercise in giving Andreth and Aegnor a happy ending. But I very much liked the final scene, with Andreth growing old and Aegnor as totally, utterly besotted with her as ever. It also had them all surrounded by the various kids of the House of Bëor, and Aegnor being the confirmed favourite, and the image was cute. :3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I did get one really weird comment on a fic, which was basically a diatribe against the POV character. But it had nothing to do with the actual fic, it was about the character in the canon, and it seemed like it was part of some larger screed had just been c+p'd from some other site. Very strange.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, every so often. I wish I wrote more tbh, because I'm a pervy wee hobgoblin. I've never even written an f/f scene or a proper threesome. So far, all my smut has been fairly tame, but I'd like to try my hand at some more kinky stuff at some point. ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, when inspiration strikes. I don't know about the craziest, but I think the daftest must definitely be And Long Would Mandos Hold Him, where Death from Horrible Histories meets Saeros from The Children of Húrin and is, naturally, delighted. That one was a riot to write. XD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, but fuck, who knows. The internet is huge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times, into Chinese and Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, not if you mean both of us writing. I think the closest I've come so far was when I collaborated with peasina for last year's Pod_Together, which involves teaming up to create both a written fic and a podfic version of the same. It was a really fun experience, coming up with ideas for a story together, and interesting, because it's the first time I've ever written a story specifically intended to be read aloud, so it was something to keep in mind all the time I was writing. The end result was A (Confirmed) Knight Bachelor: written version here and pod version here. I really enjoyed doing this one! :D

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

God, I don't know. I have no idea how to gauge that.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ahahahaha... oh God, right now, it feels like all of them. XD

But really... sadly, probably the Legolas/Gimli post-LOTR fic I started. Honestly, I think the fact it was looking to end up as a multi-chapter affair kind of scared me from the get-go. Then I wrote myself into a knot trying to work out Legolas and Thranduil's dynamic immediately after the War of the Ring. No doubt it's the sort of thing that could be easily worked out with a bit of tinkering, but I got discouraged and ended up shoving the whole fic on the back-burner, where it's like to stay. :[

(Of course, talking about it inevitably makes me want to open it up and have another crack at it. But realistically, I don't think I'll ever finish it.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do character voices pretty well, and in book fandoms, I think I can usually pull off a decent pastiche of the style. And on a good day, I think I can do good descriptive prose.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fucking plots, how do they work??? On a bad day, I think my prose is overdone and pedantic: too fussy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It can definitely add something - authenticity, atmosphere - but should also be used with caution. Writing is all about communication, after all, and if you start writing whole screeds of conversation in a language that you're not guaranteed your target audience will understand, you're not serving the story, just trying to show off. Economy is the key, I think. I also usually include a translation, either as an endnote, or as a hover-over caption.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

lol technically, I think it must be historical RPF. I used to write wee stories about the historical peeps I was obsessed with at the time.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh, how the hell is anyone meant to answer a question like that.

Tagging, with no obligation: @nocompromise-noregrets, @cilil, @bryndeavour, @chiropteracupola, @regshoe, @sanguinarysanguinity, @technicallycleverdetective, @swanmaids, @cycas, and @di-daydreamer.

[eriadu-in-the-wildwood]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @walker-lister !

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

31 (how??)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

449,431 (again, how??)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who, a small dip into Critical Role (maybe soon some Baldur's Gate? :D)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Star by Star 2. Song of Kalaya 3. A frozen moment 4. Calming the waves (the lone Critical Role fic makes the top five, all right!) 5. Taking it slow

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Sometimes it takes longer than other times, but I do respond to all of them!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'd say When it all comes crashing down. Regeneration fic, what else can I say?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Dark & Verdant Door, maybe? Closest I've gotten to basically marrying Yaz and the Doctor, plus the possibility of a magical eternity in the forest together!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, or at least not to my face!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Is the sky blue?? Yes, haha, and as for what kind I guess I'll say all sorts, but often with an emphasis on telepathy and how that could play a part in the proceedings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No BUT there's an thing sitting in my ideas document that's basically a fusion of thasmin and One Last Stop that I'd love to write, but I'd probably have to reread the book and take a bunch of notes, and so in the idea document it stays.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again (as if it might turn out this time), co-written with @timetravelbypen

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Thasmin, of course!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

None that are partially published, but I have many, many WIPs sitting around that I probably won't get to! I'd say the closest to being abandoned is the third in the Echoes of War series, but I keep thinking about it because it's ridiculous that it's sitting there finished and just needs editing. But it's been in that state for a year, so I guess maybe it's time to let it go?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhh always a tough question in these things! I think I come up with interesting ideas and twists on tropes!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I ALWAYS struggle with feeling like I've made my plot into a weird soupy mess that doesn't entirely make sense, so I am constantly working on that aspect of my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I'd go there because I wouldn't want to get it wrong!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh geez I guess it would be Xena, back in the yahoo! groups mailing list days when a bunch of us would write stories about our Amazon OCs!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Well I hate to keep going on about An old police box, a tattered coat, and the constable who called herself the Doctor, but it really is my favorite. I also quite like Never Alone, because writing from the pov of a sentient painting was just too much fun.

I'll tag @timetravelbypen , @how-to-sit-gay , @timeandspacenovelist and @doctorinblue , if ya'll want to play along, as well as anyone else who wants to share!

[shina913]

Scions, Ch.7 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 7

sci·​on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; character death; ots of crying–like, A LOT; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; marriage troubles; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning; soft sibling moments

Word count: 7,715 words

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: Happy 2023 and sorry this took so long! I had a long-ass note and somehow it got deleted 😂 Woops! Anyway, I wanted to thank all of those who have just recently discovered this story. I love reading all of your notes and thoughts on it as this story is very special to me. It's not an easy read nor is it easy to write (as I've said many times) because it's just...super heavy angst and drama! But I am happy that some of you are enjoying it and looking forward to the next installments!

A/N2: Joon's eulogy was taken from one of his insta stories from May 2022--yes, I have been holding onto this for that long! Translation was taken (verbatim) from @/eternalhyyh on Twt.

A/N3: There are some references to scenes from the two one-offs that were previously posted (Sunshine and Joon & Jooni). One scene in particular picks up right after the end of J&J but it's not super essential that you read those. They just contribute to the story and provide additional context.

After the funeral directors came by to pick up his dad’s body to bring him to the mortuary for cremation, Taehyung retreated to his childhood bedroom. He’d been sitting on the floor for who knows how long. The tears would come and go, especially when he would catch glimpses of old family photos that were displayed on his walls and his bookshelf.

Out of his siblings, he was taking it the hardest. His hero was gone and there was nothing he could do to remedy that.

His nephew and niece tried to coax him out of his room but he couldn’t face them…not like this. He was a mess.

Taehyung took pride in being the ‘fun’ uncle. Always playing games and putting smiles on their faces. The kids were also innately introspective so if they saw any hint that he was upset, they would ask questions about it.

And he wasn’t in the right headspace to talk about any of it yet.

He overheard Namjoon’s voice on the other side of the door, murmuring something about taking the kids to the park. Seconds later, the shadows between the gap of the floor and door moved away, much to his relief.

Sniffling, he reached for his phone by his bedside. He wasn’t sure why but he felt like he needed to confide in somebody…somebody who wasn’t family. Somebody who was emotionally removed from the situation.

“Hi,” he said shakily when the other line picked up. “Do you have a minute?”

******

Eunhae does one final sweep of her hotel room, checking to make sure that she didn’t leave anything. And if she did, it was unlikely that she’d ever come back to this area anyway.

She’d been gone from the office for a few days. And while the nature of her job allowed her to work remotely, it wasn’t like Taehyung was necessarily welcoming her with open arms.

For years, she happily relished in her independence. She didn’t like the idea of ‘belonging’ to someone. The idea of not being tied down to anybody was important to her. She was content with only having to worry about herself, for the most part since her family already worried her enough.

When she first met Taehyung, he was someone that she was instantly physically attracted to. The fact that he offered to carry her giant boxes from the moving truck and into her apartment was a bonus. 

He agreed to a no-strings arrangement but she could tell that he didn’t typically go for relationships like that. He was a gentle soul, always thinking about his family and friends.

Even after they’d slept together, he always offered that she stay the night, get something to eat, or just hang out for a bit. 9 times out of 10, she would decline. Spending time together after doing the deed almost always led to some type of attachment. But the times that she would agree, he considered it as a privilege.

He always treated her with respect even though her promiscuity would have other people looking at her differently. He was never the type to just leave right after he got what he wanted. And it was those times that made Eunhae reconsider how she felt about relationships. 

After years of living around the city and several casual encounters, she realized that she’d never met anybody like him. It was just unfortunate that she had gone into self-preservation mode right when Taehyung needed somebody.

She’d spent enough time kicking herself for being such an idiot about it. It was what brought her out here to begin with. Unfortunately, Taehyung would have none of it.

While she searches for the TV remote to check herself out of the room, her phone rings loudly from her purse.

It was probably the office again, she thought.

As soon as she retrieves it, the caller ID catches her off-guard.

“H-hey,” she answered. “You know what, I’m still in town. Do you want me to come over?”

******

When Namjoon returned from the park with the kids, his mom immediately greets him by the door asking if he had his suit laid out for tomorrow.

“How could I not bring a suit? I can’t believe…” he muttered to himself.

“Don’t even worry about it, darling!” His mom’s voice echoed through the bedroom from her walk-in closet.

“I was in such a hurry, it didn’t even cross my mind,” he says again, ignoring her comments.

“That’s alright, Namjoonah. You know, you and your dad are pretty much the same size? I mean, right before he got sick.” He turned around to find his mom holding a jacket open for him. It gave him pause, but she remained in that position, waiting to put it on him.

He glances at her for a moment, her expression was soft–one that he rarely saw. Growing up, he made life difficult for her every time she was on a break from filming or if she was in-between projects. Every time he defied her, he would see this hardened look on her face–one of frustration and disappointment.

Namjoon wasn’t always as compliant as his siblings were. He always went against the grain–which caused some constant conflict between him and his mother.

When he left for university, it was one of the best times of his life. He missed his siblings and his old friends but he also felt some relief to not feel obligated to spend time with his mom whenever she was home. He either had to study for exams, attend a workshop, or wanted to save on the bus fare home.

Come to think of it, this is the most time he has spent with her, in the same space, after over a decade.

He swallowed the emotions that bubbled up inside him. He took a step towards her then turned around to stretch his arms backwards. Once he slipped his hands through the armholes, his mom pulled the jacket up his arms and onto his shoulders. He felt her small hands do a quick sweep over his shoulder blades to smooth the material.

Afterwards, she moved around him. His eyes shifted downward while he watched her straighten out the lapels and brush off some errant traces of lint.

 “Ma, you don’t have to do that, I can–”

“Shush and just let me do this, adeul.”

He released a long, exasperated breath…and let her be.

“You know, this was one of your dad’s favorites. I had it custom-made for him,” she muses.

Namjoon gets a whiff of his dad’s scent on the jacket and a calm washes over him. It smelled of citrus-mint bar soap…one that he used for as long as Namjoon can remember. His dad was but a creature of habit. He could have gone and used all of those artisanal bath oils and scents that his mom brought from her travels but he always stuck to the same one.

His dad once said that it was the same soap that they carried at the resort where they had honeymooned as newlyweds.

He happened to find the manufacturer and ordered copious amounts of them. To this day, he kept a small stock in a waterproof, air-tight container in the basement. Namjoon chuckled at the memory.

A few more seconds of fussing with his collar, his mom stepped back and cocked her head to the side, admiring her handiwork. “There. So handsome,” she smiled appreciatively.

Namjoon snorts at the remark. “Mom…please,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment.

“What? I’m not allowed to compliment my son? My smart, successful, handsome son? Whom I’m very proud of, by the way,” she added.

Namjoon’s eyes shift downward.

She cocked her head to the side and touched his cheek. “Hey–what’s with the long face?”

“Proud?” His lips quirked morosely. “I’m not sure if I deserve your pride. I’m…I don’t even know if I would be proud of myself.��

She scoffed. “And why not?”

“My marriage is ending because my wife cheated on me right under my nose, my life is in shambles…and now I’m bringing a baby into the world?”

“Is that why you haven’t talked to him in the last few weeks? Is that why you tried to keep this from us? You think we’d think less of you?”

“Ma, even I think less of me right now. I…” he opened his mouth to say something, but struggled to find the right words. “I usually know what my next move would be…but…for some reason, I just feel…” he sighed, “...lost.”

She hummed, understanding his predicament. “A baby, huh? You must be terrified.”

He scoffed. “I am.”

“Well–not sure if it’s any consolation, but that feeling never goes away.”

“That’s reassuring,” Namjoon says sarcastically.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re afraid of, darling?”

“Uhh…everything! I don’t even know where or how to start raising another human. I can’t even figure out my life right now.” He runs both hands through his hair, suddenly feeling a cold sweat break through his scalp. “What would I teach this kid?”

“Why don’t you sit down, before you give yourself an aneurysm, Namjoonie?”

He sits on his parents’ old bed, which was most recently moved back into the master bedroom after hospice staff picked up the hospital bed and other medical equipment following his dad’s passing.

His mom sits right next to him.

“Sweetheart, do you remember when Jooni was born?”

Namjoon smiles nostalgically at the memory. “Like it was yesterday.”

“Do you remember how you felt when you first held her?”

He laughed. “I was…very scared! She was so small and…I was so nervous, I thought I would drop her.”

“And did you?” She asked quietly.

He shook his head gently. “YN said that, if you loved something that precious, even the clumsiest person would hang on to it as if their life depended on it.”

“And you held her so carefully and so close to you.”

“I did…for over an hour! I didn’t even care that my arm fell asleep,” He laughed softly. “It felt nice.”

His mom smiled. “That’s what being a parent is, Namjoon. It’s terrifying at first because there are so many things that you don’t know. You can plan things out in advance in anticipation for the worst possible scenario but…that’s just not how it works. You learn as you go”

Then she turned and looked at him lovingly. “You just need to love them and do the best you can for them. You hang on to them tightly until they’re ready to let go and set off on their own.”

Namjoon hung his head and stared at the floorboards. “Do you think Vee and I have already screwed this kid up with this divorce?”

His mom rests her arm on his shoulder and squeezes it gently, her expression unyielding but reassuring. “Honey, I think that if you stayed in an unhappy marriage, that would not be healthy for your child either. Most people think that you need to prioritize your child’s happiness before yours–but I disagree. Self-sacrifice is a given when you decide to have children but at the end of the day, you need to take care of yourself, too. It’s an absolute necessity…so that you can take care of others.”

Namjoon nods, allowing his mom’s words to sink in. He knew that his family was unconventional. His parents’ generation was all about doing things for the benefit of the whole family. You didn’t take care of yourself, you didn’t do things for yourself–that was selfish.

Somehow, his parents found a balance to defy all that. They found a way to make their dreams come true and love their children at the same time. While self-sacrifice was evident in all of the decisions they made for their family, self-love also took precedence. It was how his parents reinforced their marriage.

She rubs the back of his neck softly, which he finds comforting. After that, she gives him a kiss on his temple. “You’ll be okay, Namjoonie. We’re here to help you get through this.”

Namjoon lets out a wry chuckle. “You’re way more optimistic than I am. I probably have the worst parental instincts!”

“‘Worst parental instincts’?” She laughed at how ridiculous he was being. “Who was it who volunteered to take the children out to the park for a bit of playtime?”

“That was coincidental. Everyone was busy with stuff and I didn’t want the kids to get bored or get in the way.”

She rolled her eyes. “Give yourself a bit more credit, Namjoon. I see how you are with Joobin and Jooni.”

He continues to wave her off. “That’s different. I play with them for a bit, keep them company…At the end of the day, I get to give them back to YN. It’s kind of like library books.”

Mouth falling open, she gasps and clutches her chest in disbelief. “Kim Namjoon! You did not just compare your niece and nephew to library books?!”

He chuckled in return. “I love books—and I love Joobin and Jooni.” His face falters for a second, turning more serious. “…but they’re not mine. It’s…I don’t know how to explain it.” He sucked in a breath, trying to make out the words. After a few beats, he continued, “I just feel like…I’ll have less room for error when it’s my kid.”

His mom frowned. “Why would you think that?”

Her question was met with silence. She put her hand on his cheek and gently urged him again. “Joonie, tell me.”

He sighed heavily, looking up at her with sad eyes. “I just feel like, after all those years that I treated you badly, maybe this is the universe’s way of getting payback…you know, because I was a bad son to you.”

The words pierced her chest like a barb. They didn’t have the easiest relationship and Namjoon always seemed intent on keeping a rebellious streak but her love for him never wavered.

“Oh, honey…no. No, no, no,” she desperately wrapped her arms around his too-large-frame. “Whatever stuff we were going through…you shouldn’t think of it as some generational thing. Me being away all the time was tough not just on you but on me, too.”

Namjoon sniffled. Regretting all those years that he punished his mom for being absent during his formative years. She did what she needed to…and it was never without his dad’s blessing. He realized that now.

“I’m sorry for not giving you a break, ma,” Namjoon mumbled.

“It’s all water under the bridge.” She pulls away from him and gives his forehead a lingering kiss. “I love you and I just want what’s best for you…always.”

Namjoon stared back into his mom’s eyes. All those years of animosity that he put between them–she just waved it all away with a kiss.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, darling,” she smiled. “And not that you need to hear this from me but I think you’ll be a great father. You care a great deal about your family–and I think that matters a lot when you’re raising children.”

******

You weren’t the only one on autopilot. Almost everyone in this house was trying to keep themselves busy.

When Namjoon and the kids returned from the park, you handed them off to Sam. Thankfully, he canceled all of his calls and meetings since the funeral was scheduled for tomorrow.

“Where are the kids?” Jin had just emerged from the study. He’d been on the phone with the minister confirming details on the memorial and coordinating with his staff at the restaurant for the reception. 

His staff. It was a strange thought. Only days ago, they were your dad’s staff. Even though he relinquished that role to Jin ever since he decided to ‘retire,’ they still considered him as their boss.

“With Sam,” you say, looking up from the soup you were stirring.

He snorted. “At least he’s being useful. I think I’ve only seen him a total of two hours since he arrived. Even in those two hours, he always had that fucking earpiece on,” he says, referring to Sam’s bluetooth headset.

You sighed heavily at Jin’s grumblings about your husband. He didn’t dislike Sam…at least not at the outset. When you brought him home to meet your family, Jin had resigned himself to the fact that this man was going to be in your life, and in turn, his life.

Unlike Namjoon, there was no benefit to wishing that someone else was in his place instead.

But as time went on, Jin grew tired of Sam being away so much, leaving you to deal with the kids and manage your home.

“He’s been busy, oppa. Unfortunately, some foreign clients don’t really care about personal stuff. They just want to know how and when they’re going to get their money.”

Jin wanted to argue that point but he didn’t have the energy. Thankfully, when Namjoon got back from the park, he handed him the list of family members and friends whom he hadn't called yet.

“Where’s Yoojung?” He asks instead.

You were thankful for the change in subject. “Unnie wasn’t feeling well. I told her to go lie down so I offered to finish this up for her.”

“She’s been doing a lot in the last few days,” he says, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I know. Do you want to go upstairs and keep her company? I’ll let you guys know when dinner’s ready.”

Jin nods and starts to walk off to check on his wife upstairs but turns back around.

“Hey,” he says cautiously.

You look up at him.

He hesitates for a beat, hoping that he wasn’t speaking out of turn. But he was the eldest and he knew that you always respected any advice he gave. He moistens his lips. “Whatever it is you and Sam are going through…just know that whatever you decide, we’ll support you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. For nearly four years, you tried to cover up your marital issues. You and Sam have gone through counseling and after a few sessions, it seemed like things were going to work out.

This time, though? It was becoming more evident that your marriage was beyond repair. Even after your conversation with your dad, you hadn’t made up your mind yet. You thought you could revisit all of that after the memorial, when you and Sam got back to the city.

Although, it seemed as if Jin was as intuitive as your dad was.

“Oppa, I…” Your shaky voice betrayed your resolve.

“I know that if dad were still here, he would say the same thing,” he says softly.

Your nose stung and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. At the first sob you let out, Jin instantly wraps you in his arms tightly. 

“Hey…it’s gonna be okay, YN.” He rubbed your back soothingly.

“Please don’t tell Joon yet,” you whimpered. 

“Is it because you’re afraid that he can finally kick Sam’s ass?”

You pulled away, chuckling while wiping your tears. “No,” you answer. “He’s just got a lot to deal with right now. I’ll tell him eventually.”

Jin nodded. “I hear you. I will say though, nothing good ever comes out of keeping secrets. Not saying that you were doing it maliciously but…you think you’re protecting people’s feelings when you could be making things worse by not trusting them enough to be understanding about it.”

He wiped the tears that dripped from your cheeks. “At some point, you have to choose whether trying to be strong in front of your kids is worth sacrificing your own happiness.”

He pulls you close for another brief hug and plants a kiss on the crown of your head. “You know that I love you, right?”

You nodded wordlessly.

“Good.”

Before he walks away, the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it,” he says. “Just finish up with the soup.”

“Thank you, oppa.”

******

Jin is surprised to see Eunhae at their front door. She bows to him, giving her condolences.

“Thank you,” he replies sullenly. “If you’re here for Taehyung…he’s…” He scratches the back of his head uncomfortably, unsure how to tell her that his little brother had barricaded himself in his bedroom. ”I’m not sure if he’s up to seeing anyone.”

Eunhae nodded. “I understand.” She omits telling Jin that Taehyung called her and that she offered to come over. She figured that none of his family members have been able to coax him out. “I’d like to try? Uhm…you know, talking to him?”

Jin sighed. At this point, he’d try anything to get Taehyung out of his room. The memorial was tomorrow and he hoped that the whole family would pull it together to send off their dad properly.

He was worried sick about Taehyung. He hadn’t spoken or eaten in the last two days. Yoojung and YN would leave bowls of food by the door and they would remain untouched hours later. The only activity that came out of his room were sounds of old jazz and soul music–songs from their father’s playlist.

“Sure,” Jin invites her in. He offers her some refreshments but she respectfully declines. He then walks her up the steps towards Taehyung’s room. Jin knocked at the door to let him know that Eunhae was here. As expected, there was no response.

He shrugged at her. “Good luck, I guess?” She gave him a polite, grateful smile before he excused himself to check on Yoojung.

Eunhae knocks on the door again and calls to him. “Taehyung? Can I come in?” A few seconds of silence, and she’s about to give up but the door clicks and a disheveled Taehyung stands in front of her.

******

The house felt suffocating so Taehyung asked if Eunhae could drive out by the lake. He needed some fresh air.

“I hope you don’t mind. I called Jungkook and told him about the memorial.” She says, after turning the car engine off.

Taehyung nodded absentmindedly in acknowledgement.

“I just asked him to spread the word–and let your other friends or coworkers know.”

“Thanks,” he replies quietly. “Sorry, I’ve just been…out of it.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You’re going through a lot,” she says understandingly.

“I…I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he mumbled, before rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

She could tell that he wanted to spill his guts out to her but he was holding back. This was something personal…deeply so. And this was never part of their agreement.

But she knew, from the moment she picked up his call and offered to come over, all of those boundaries that she set up to keep him within arm’s reach were out the door.

“I’m here to listen.”

Taehyung turned his head away from the window to face her. She was staring back at him, unmoved. Her eyes drift down to his hand and without hesitation, she reached out to rest her hand over his and gave it an assuring squeeze.

“I’m here for you,” she says.

His eyes flicked down to their clasped hands. When Taehyung called her, he thought that he only needed a sounding board. In reality, he needed her.

And so he talked. He talked about his dad and how much he loved him…and how sad he was that he wasn’t going to be around anymore.

And she listened while he got it all out. She watched him cry and whimper. She saw him surrender to the grief that he was feeling. She wasn’t sure why he felt as if he had to hide this from his siblings. They all seemed very supportive and loving.

After an hour, he got himself together and asked if she could drive him back to the house.

When they returned, they were greeted by his sister. She insisted that Eunhae stay for dinner.

While they sat and ate, his brothers discussed other things that needed to be done before tomorrow’s memorial. She watched him nod obediently, volunteering for tasks, even if they weren’t asked of him.

Eunhae realized that Taehyung was struggling to find his footing in his family. He’s spent so much time trying to come off as someone who was carefree…when in fact, he cared a lot. It must be difficult to be overshadowed by three older siblings who already had their paths laid out.

Discussions then led to the events happening the next day. The memorial was supposed to start early in the morning in their home. A florist would come by to set up an arrangement in the middle of the living room with their father’s portrait, followed by mourners bowing and paying their respects.

The memorial would then be followed by a brief reception at the family’s restaurant.

“Eunhae, you don’t have to rush back, do you?” His mom asks.

“M-ma, let’s not impose on Eunhae. She might need to get back–”

“What Taehyung means is that, I’d be honored to stay, Mrs. Kim,” Eunhae cuts Taehyung off.

His mom smiled warmly. “Very good.”

*******

“Hey, listen–I just want you to know that if you have other stuff going on back in the city, you don’t need to stick around.” Taehyung said as he walked Eunhae out to her car.

Her eyebrows knitted. “I really don’t mind. I want to be able to pay my respects, too.”

He nodded. “I know but…I just don’t want you to feel that my mom’s lured you into something you feel like you can’t back out of.”

She chuckled. “Your mom is a lovely person. I’m happy to be wherever she welcomes me.”

They both exchange awkward smiles before Eunhae gives a small wave, leaving him standing on the curb while she rounds her car to get to open the driver side door.

Taehyung cleared his throat. “T-thanks again…” he blurts out.

“What for?”

He dug his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “For being someone whom I needed.”

“And that is?”

After a brief pause, he sighed. “A good friend.”

With a small nod and smile, she says, “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

*******

The funeral goes as planned. Even with barely a 2-day notice, the community showed up. As with tradition, the family lined up beside the funeral altar–spouse first, followed by their children, according to birth order: Jin, Namjoon, YN, and Taehyung. Mourners were welcomed by Yoojung and Victoria at the door, and afterwards made their offerings to the dead, then paid their respects to the family.

Afterwards, everyone was invited to gather at the family’s restaurant for a brief reception.

Yoojung, who was feeling much better today, pulled it together to manage the whole event, as was her duty as the eldest son’s wife. Sam was on kid-duty while Vee made small-talk with other guests.

Hobi volunteered his time and one of his staff, Yoongi, to help with the reception. After he paid his respects earlier that morning, he went straight from the family home and into the restaurant to get everything set up before guests arrived for the reception. He was following Yoojung’s lead in terms of food and service, while he left Yoongi in charge to manage beverages.

When Jin arrived, he walked through the kitchen, thanking the staff for their hard work. He spotted Hobi walking through with an emptied chafing dish.

“Hobah?”

“Yes, hyung?” He puts the dish in the sink to soak. “Everything ok? Do you need anything?”

“No, everything’s great. I just wanted to thank you for keeping everything going and helping Yoojung.”

Hobi gives Jin a warm smile. “It’s the least I could do, hyung. Everybody’s here to celebrate appa. He’s touched their lives one way or the other.”

Jin gives a small nod, trying to keep his emotions in check. They may not have been related by blood or marriage–but he was always part of the family. “In any case, our family really, really appreciates it.”

Unprompted, Hobi moves in to give Jin a hug. He shakily accepts it, patting Hobi on the shoulder. “Thank you, brother,” Jin whispers before pulling away and walking off to check on Yoojung.

******

Eunhae steps into the kitchen in search of more napkins in the supply closet when she sees the backdoor ajar. She went to close it but stopped short when she saw Taehyung crouched on the stoop.

“Tae?”

His head jerks up at the sound of his name. “Oh…h-hey.”

“What are you doing here?” She asks. “Jungkook has been looking for you.”

He sighed. “I just wanted a little quiet before everyone got here,” he answers quietly then quickly gets up when sees her with the box of napkins in her hand.

“Hey–I can just get that,” he says, reaching for the napkins. “Why don’t you just chill out and get some food–”

“I don’t mind helping,” she smiled. “Yoojung-unnie needed an extra pair of hands so I offered.”

“I just don’t want you to think that we’re trying to put you to work or–”

She lays her hand on his wrist assuringly. “Taehyung,” she says firmly, “It’s alright. It’s like I said earlier when you called–I’m here for you.”

“I just…I feel really bad about all the stuff I said to you back at the hotel,” he says with regret.

That made the dull ache in Eunhae’s chest begin to move to the forefront but she’s able to push it back to the corner. Even though she wanted to talk to him about it too, this wasn’t the time nor the place. “Listen, why don’t we just get through today and if you’re feeling up to it, we can talk tomorrow? I was planning on driving back to the city tomorrow night.” Although Eunhae was allowed to do her work remotely, she still had to check into the office from time to time.

Taehyung gives a slight bob of his head. Eunhae gives him a polite smile in return. “C’mon, your noona’s asking for you.”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a sec,” he replies.

She turns to walk away but he calls out to her again. She turns around to face him.

“Thank you, Eunhae…for…” he sighed, seemingly at a loss for words. “...For everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

******

An hour-and-a-half into the reception, Namjoon steps to the front of the house to say a few words.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming. I think I speak on behalf of my mom, my siblings, and our respective partners and families,” he glances at Vee, who sat in one corner of the room, “...when I say that, my dad would have been touched knowing that you were all here to celebrate him.”

Then he chuckled. “I think he also would have found it funny that everyone would be fussing over him like this. He would have been the first to get up and tell everyone that we should just all go home, kick our shoes off and have a beer on the porch.”

There was a collective laugh that rang throughout the room.

He paused for a moment, eyes flicking downward to collect himself. Afterwards, he cleared his throat to continue. “It’s not traditional for us to do eulogies but…I’ve always thought that our family was never traditional in that sense anyway so, I don’t think the elders would mind if I read something.”

He opened the book that he clutched in his hand, where a passage was bookmarked. “This was one of the last things that I read to my dad. He and I loved to read together and have long conversations about whatever it was we just read. We’ve had some impassioned discussions and even epic debates that we settled by agreeing to disagree” he says with a chuckle. “But one thing’s for sure…” He paused again, feeling the tears creeping up. But he manages to hold back with a sniffle. 

“Anyway, this passage is from ‘I Want to Write, But I Don’t Want to Write:’

A cynical attitude extorts all creations. It would've been better if I was only cynical, but because I'm both warm and cynical, I either burn hot or shiver in cold or lose my energy while going back and forth between the cold and heat.

Because the words and movies I loved were colossal, the closer I get to them, the more limitlessly small and shabby I feel.

You eventually happen to avoid people that make you feel small. Be it your lover, friends or even parents. And then you will have to change your true self.

Just like how you have to acknowledge and get rid of your fantasies about love in order to keep loving. Because no existence or values can be absolutely beautiful.

If the set of values that kept my current self synchronized was in full effect, I have to dispose of those values and keep going by forming a new set of them. Otherwise I have to quit everything boldly and find something else to do.

But sadly, my ordinary self is just standing still, unable to do either of them. In the end, I find myself meaninglessly romantic and contradictory for being unable to give up what I have to give up and gave up on myself instead.

Even if it may not be reachable, I currently don't know any other way than just heading towards that place.

Namjoon shut the book and tucked it between his palms, then hugged it to his chest. His eyes roamed the room, finding that there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

He lets out a shaky breath, finishing with, “I know my dad would have thought it was far-fetched that anybody would miss him,” he paused, “But you all being here proves him wrong. The fact is that we miss you, dad…a lot.”

His mom rose from her seat, walked towards him to kiss him on the cheek.

******

“Are you driving back tonight?” Namjoon asks Vee while he walks her to her car.

“Hmm…I was thinking about it,” she replies..

Namjoon’s expression became uneasy. “The weather reports say it’s supposed to rain tonight.” Vee drove a Porsche 911 Turbo. It was a death trap for Namjoon but she loved her little speed demon.

“Would you mind staying another night? I’ll pay for the hotel,” he offered while eyeing her car worriedly.

She smiled warmly and appreciated his concern. He may not love her anymore but it was good to know that he still had love for her.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay another night and leave in the morning. You don’t need to pay for it.”

He nodded in gratitude. “Thanks for being here and…you know, doing all that…” He referred to her acting like a dutiful wife, talking to relatives and neighbors as if everything was normal.

She nodded politely. “You’re welcome. You gave a beautiful sendoff.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you thought so.”

“You’ve always had a way with words.” She smiled at him before stepping into her car.

He lingered there for a bit, watching while she plugged her keys into the ignition. Then, he stepped off the curb, knocking on the passenger window. “Vee?”

She rolls it down to hear him better.

“When I get settled in my new place…we should talk.”

Her jaw nearly drops with his offer. “Uhm…yes…yeah…” she stuttered. “That would be great.”

He nodded. “For the baby.”

She nods in return. “Of course.” On that hopeful note, she pulls out of her parking spot to drive back to the hotel.

Namjoon turned on his heel to walk back to the restaurant to help clean up. On the path there, he comes across Sam, who looked like he was on a very terse phone call.

Sam gave a quick head bob upon eye contact. Namjoon acknowledges him before he ducks indoors.

******

After the memorial, everyone returns to the house. Everything had been such a blur in the last few hours–it’s hard to believe that it wasn’t even dinner time yet. Everybody looked exhausted and parked themselves as far as their bodies would take them. Jin and Yoojung sat in the dining room, making coffee, while Namjoon made himself a pot of instant jjajangmyeon.

Taehyung was sprawled on the family room’s floor, with his best friend Jungkook, while both kids horsed around them.

Your mom, mostly stoic in the last two days, carefully trudged back upstairs to nurse a headache.

“YN, you want some?” Namjoon offered.

You decline absentmindedly, trying to search for Sam. He may have gone straight upstairs to lay down.

Just then, Joobin comes running towards you with his iPad. “Mommy, my iPad is dead,” he complains.

“Why don’t you plug it in by the corner, bud?” You point towards the little table where you’ve set up a device charging station for the kids.

“I tried but it won’t work. I think the wire is broken.” You let out an exasperated sigh. It didn’t matter which ‘braided’ or ‘angled’ charging cable you bought to make your life easier when it came to the kids’ devices. They always found new ways to break whatever was touted as the most durable material on the market.

“Okay, why don’t you stay here and play with Uncle Tae and Jungkookie and I’ll check to see if daddy will let you borrow his. Sound good?”

With a big smile, he runs off and jumps into Jungkook’s arms.

When you round the corner from the stairs’ landing, you call out to Sam.

“Hey, can I borrow a charging cable–

Sam looks startled when you come to view.

“What’s all this?” You ask, gesturing at his luggage.

He sighed uncomfortably. “I…I have to leave.”

“Leave? Now?” You ask through gritted teeth.

“Uh…soon,” he replies.

You turn your head away so quickly to take a breath, calming yourself so as not to completely lash out at him while in a full house.

You quietly shut the door behind you before hissing at him. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right? When were you going to tell me?”

“I–” he stuttered. “Look, I just got the call earlier, a little after the reception ended. I was going to tell you once everyone was settled in.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, reining in your annoyance. You were exhausted and weren’t in the mood for an argument but he was really making it difficult to make this into a reasonable discussion.

“My UK deal is falling apart and I have to fly over there to save it.” It was as if he hadn’t even considered what you and your family had just gone through. Your dad was dead and Sam was ready for ‘business as usual.’ As if he actually tried to pause while your dad slowly faded away.

You scoffed. “And you didn’t tell them that you were in mourning? Are your bosses so self-absorbed that a death in the family is a non-factor?”

“They didn’t force me, YN. I made the call.”

Your jaw drops. You knew Sam valued his work but you didn’t think he would choose it over family.

“My dad just fucking died and you’re leaving? Were you just counting down the hours?”

He let out an exasperated groan. “Of course not. I didn’t come to this decision lightly.”

“Bullshit,” you spat out. “I am barely hanging on here and all I need is a little bit of support from my husband! Is that too much to ask?”

“I was here for you…I…I am! I left a fucking business deal on the table so I could be here for you!”

“You mean locking yourself in a room to be on the phone for hours on end is what you call ‘being there for me’? Entertaining the kids a couple hours at a time before your next conference call is your way of supporting me?”

“I’m doing the best I can, YN. We’ve been here for over a week already–”

“When you asked me to marry you…you said you would be a provider of this family. I…I honestly didn’t expect you to go above and beyond that promise, but you did. And for that, I will be forever grateful. In return, I wanted you to be able to live out your ambitions. You were great at what you do. So, I made a home for you and our children…tried to make the best of this marriage. And you can’t say that I didn’t try…because I fucking did.”

You met Sam during a rough period in your life. You were just getting over Hobi, adjusting to your new job, and living with Namjoon until you found a place of your own. It was a scary, transition period and suddenly, here was this nice, handsome man, handing you your transit card that you just dropped.

You weren’t looking for anything serious. He was a good distraction at the time…until you fell pregnant.

It was such an inopportune time and you contemplated not going through with it but Sam convinced you otherwise. He confessed his love for you and promised to take good care of you.

He said as much when you took him back here to face your parents and your brothers. He asked your dad for permission to marry you, to which he agreed, appreciating the gesture.

Namjoon was less than thrilled.

It wasn’t the dream wedding your mom had envisioned for you when you were a little girl but it was intimate and lovely. Everyone who mattered in your life was there.

It was touch-and-go at first and Sam was very patient. Somehow, he managed to juggle a new wife, a new baby, and a demanding job without breaking a sweat. It was what made you love him even more.

And it was good for the first two years…until problems started cropping up. You don’t get your dream job without sacrificing a few things along the way.

It started with little fights about why dinner wasn’t ready yet, or why that vacation was getting canceled again. You stopped communicating because he was at work all the time and you’d be tired from working and caring for Joobin.

But you didn’t want this marriage to fail. You sought counseling for a few months and it actually helped. Things seemed better. In fact, things felt so much better, that you decided to have a second child.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after Jooni was born that the same cracks in your marriage became evident once more. At that point, you had your hands full with managing your household and two children. You didn’t have the bandwidth to manage your husband.

“And now? I’m tired, Sam.” Your shoulders slumped while you stared at him.

Sam’s eyes stayed glued to you. He opens his mouth to try to argue but he snaps it shut instead. It was pointless. It was a valiant effort on both your parts but this decision was a long-time coming. It seemed as though you were just waiting for the other to pull the trigger.

He put his hands on his waist and sighed in defeat. “Can I at least say goodbye to the kids?”

You nodded softly. “Of course.”

You eyed each other silently from across the room. Knees feeling weak, you feel the need to sit yourself down on the mattress. You sighed with your head in your hands.

You feel the side of the mattress dip while he takes a seat beside you. “We had a good run, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled. “Damn,” you shook your head warily.

******

After Sam left, you went into the backyard, tidying up the kids’ toys. You weren’t quite ready to explain all of the details to them yet, even as he hugged them goodbye. You and Sam agreed to sit them down when you were both back in the city and all legalities have been set in motion.

You were in the midst of picking up Joobin’s dinosaurs when you heard Taehyung offer to help.

“Oh, I’m fine,” you replied.

He took two strides closer to you. “You don’t sound like you’re fine.”

You gave him the most genuine smile you could muster. “Tae, I’m fine.”

“C’mon, noona. I know you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and continued to pick up action figures, tossing them into a bucket. “You say that as if you’re some expert.”

“I’m an expert in you.”

You laughed as you walked away from him. “Really?”

“Of course. I mean…you practically raised me.” That stopped you dead in your tracks until he caught up to you.

“When I’m confused or lost or struggling with a decision, I think about what noona would do.” Then he smiled broadly. “And I do it and…things turn out fine.”

Each of you had your own style of ‘lecturing’ Taehyung. Your approach wasn’t nagging but you always left room for him to make his own decisions. You didn’t realize that he would take those to heart.

You bit into your lip to stop it from quivering. “Tae…”

“Would you be mad if I tried to give you some advice?”

You laughed softly and shook your head emphatically.

He leaned in and rested his hands on your shoulders. “I want you to know that it’s okay to be fine. And you deserve to be fine,” he says firmly.

Your eyes welled up at your little brother’s words of comfort. Even in the moment when you feel the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, your family was here to remind you that they were here to share the load.

“Now, c’mon. Hobi-hyung just invited the whole family to drinks at Hangsang!”

“W-wait–but my kids?”

Taehyung grinned. “Mom says she’s got it. She says you deserve a drink or two.”

You nodded then began to walk back up the porch and into the house.

You paused at the threshold. “So…what about you? Are you…fine?” You hadn’t really had a conversation after he locked himself up in his room for nearly a day. You were understandably worried.

Taehyung’s mouth curved into a smile. “I’m on my way there.”

You cupped his cheek and gave it a little pinch. “Is Eunhae coming to Hangsang?”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, she is. She…volunteered to be designated driver.”

You chuckled and lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you’ll get to ‘fine’ quicker than you think.”

◤Previous | Part 8◥  | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joonschocochip @raplinesmoon @kokoandkookie @ayoo-bangtan @agentsofshields @playmetheclassics @serendididy @shesoldbutcute @yu-justme @e-cm @whoisbts

[sparkles-oflight]

Writing Original Characters – a rant that might be useful

Hello, everyone. This is a post different than usual. If you don’t know me, first of all, “hi” and second, I should probably talk about my experience in story writing beforehand.

I’m currently a 19-year-old student in communications (I’m not a native English speaker as you might be able to tell), but I also used to be a multimedia student in high school. I started writing and adapting scripts when I was 12 as a fun hobby with my friends, but I also found interest in writing at a young age – though you can say that passion of mine always stayed “saved” in a drawer. I truly started writing scripts for school at 15/16 and I still do, as well as short fictional stories for my personal entertainment. This next university semester, I’m also planning on taking scriptwriting classes. At some point in my life, I also wanted to be a critic of cinematography in videoclips, series, games etc. but that was just another idea I set aside. Even though I keep my ideas to myself, I’m currently writing a fanfic related to a band (it’s a Slovenian band called Joker Out, I truly recommend their music).

Just like in “actual writing” – whatever that might mean to you – when you bring life to original characters, you want your audience to feel something towards them. I’ve recently finished writing chapter 7 of my fanfiction and while I adored writing these past two chapters, they kind of “destroyed” my perception of my favorite chapter until then (Chapter 4). I’ll not go into heavy detail for the sake of avoiding spoilers for the two people who are reading it (I’m not joking, I’m this passioned about something that a maximum of 2 people are reading), but I got myself rooting for the “we didn’t work out” couple instead of the main ones.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it, after all, my original character had a personality, a background, and character flaws that are crucial to any character in any media format (and trust me, I’ve been in a rabbit hole of character and movie writing analysis videos lately) - it’s the way your audience gets to connect with your character.

However, I made a huge mistake. You see, even though I try to write in the POVs of the characters, I decided to break the “archetype” of “Oh, cutsie new character is in love with x and y person and they have to choose who they like. Here ya go: a list of all things they have done in their life”. In my story, I decided that the character already pre-existed and had already interactions with the characters pre-story. And it’s not until chapter 4 where we first get their POV which also doesn’t explain much about the character… So, by the time we get to chapter 6 – which, again, I’ll not dive into– we still know nothing about this character and. We know their name, their age, their love for their country and their job, and that they are a little bit emotional and apologetic.

As I wrote more, I’ve come to realize that the only chance I’ll get “to fix” my character for it to still be likable is by getting more info out of them or else the story will just get boring and annoying. I thought I hated the character because I made the mistake of making it so similar to me. In reality, the character just lacks information. It’s good to hold back some information from the reader, but not too much. I know all their traumas, I know all my character went through and I know why their flaws make them great, but the reader doesn’t.

Honestly, the conclusion to this personal rant of mine is: Don’t be afraid to give information to your audience. People need something to relate to and especially in this day and age where the spam of our concentration was somehow reduced to less than a fucking goldfish. More than just telling compelling or realistic stories, have characters whose stories people want to dive into and learn more about, and share them in an interesting way.

If you’ve made it so far down here, hi again. Thank you for reading this. And feel free to share your thoughts and comments and other writing tips you might consider important. I want this space to feel safe for young writers and open for debate any time ;) I might be a little chaotic most days, but hey, deep down I have some nice thoughts as well… And don’t be like me: a little bitch who never follows their dreams ^^’ cya soon.

[patron-saints]

2, 4, 17!

omg hiii rachel!!! hope you're well!!

2. Do you read/reread your own fic?

i do!! when i first post something i reread it a lot, just cuz that feeling like, holy shit it's done/real/out there is so cool and it's fun to picture how other people are seeing it. and then after a couple of months or years it's always nice to revisit things! sometimes rereading old stuff is like... i have no memory of this place, and it's fun because it's like reading something someone else wrote. and then sometimes i reread something and i'm like wow. the fic i JUST wrote has the same plot as this thing from three years ago. fuck. but it's mostly fun! and fun to see the ways i've changed as a writer and the things that have stayed the same.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

so my olivier x izumi fic, "recognition," is almost all the way done -- i only have one chapter left to post! but it does still count as a WIP because sadly i keep thinking of tiny details to change to the remaining unpublished sections sometimes even minutes before they've gone up! but the last chapter will be out on saturday!

and then my other actual WIP is my riza x lust fic, which has been ongoing in my notes app almost as long as my olizumi one! i'm excited to get back to it once "recognition" is done, but a little bit apprehensive, because i think i'm getting nearer to the time it needs to go out of the notes and into a document, and the organization is going to give me a headache lol. i AM very excited to be able to share it with people, though! if you wanna get a flavor for their vibe, my tag for them is here hehe.

(the WIP graveyard currently has two graves -- one for my ryoko x ayeka sequel to "another thing entirely" and the other for the prequel to encanto i was writing about the triplets! maybe some day i'll come back to either of them but for now they languish, unfinished, in my google docs lol)

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

the next thing i'd like to work on/wiggle around after rizalust is probably lust/riza/roy? i have this sort of... dnd style au for them floating around (also you can see the inspo for it in their tag) where lust is like. An Evil Wizard (occupation, her class is proooobably more like warlock lol) and roy's a flame sorcerer and riza's an archer, and they're looking to hire a wizard for some kind of quest. but she's also really hot. mostly i just want an excuse for lust & roy to be able to give riza everything she deserves but in a sillier & lower stakes setting than canon!

and the other like. scraps of notes i've got is an ed x ling thing, which is so far only two tiny pieces of ed pov about 1) their time in gluttony land 2) post-greed thoughts. in like an ideal world this would turn into the like, development of the whole paninya x winry x ed x ling x lan fan poly chain but i seriously doubt i will ever get that far lol

[loveislarryislove]

2022 Writing Reflection

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 18 (holy shit???)

2. Word count posted for the year: 107,382 (double holy shit?????)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Critical Role, Tamora Pierce, The Old Guard, Percy Jackson

4. Pairings: Larry, BeauJester, Immortal Husbands, Shiall, Solangelo

5. Story with the most…

Kudos: I Can Build Your Heart A Home

Bookmarks: I Can Build Your Heart A Home

Comments: Hash Brown, Egg Yolk, I Will Always Love You

Hits: Your Skin On Mine (I'm Losing Control)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

So I have two fics I want to shout out for this. First is Do You Think The Tides Know, which is a super personal concept to me and one I’ve been wanting to explore for a while. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever written before, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever read anything quite like it -- where from the beginning it’s clear that the main character won’t get the guy, where the endgame pairing doesn’t involve our POV character, where no matter what we’re rooting for we know it involves heartbreak. It’s complicated and it’s messy and it’s imperfect and it’s painful and I think that’s important, you know? That’s real. That’s life. And that’s okay. 

I’m also really proud of my Reverse Bang fic, they say looks can kill (and i might try), which just posted this week. I’ve always been intimidated by worldbuilding, but the art and prompt from @haztobegood were just... so vivid and interesting and exciting, and I could feel the world begging to be explored. I was initially afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it justice and realize the ideas the way I wanted, but I’m so glad I did it anyways. I don’t think I did a perfect job, there are still gaps that I’m aware of as the person who created them, but I also think that overall I did a damn good job! Go me!  

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): 

I’m also going to mention two here. First is my Emelan fic for Troped: Chapters -- I had some fun with the concepts but I just wasn’t feeling the romance that was the center of the prompts, and I wasn’t sure how to make everything play out effectively. Second is my Camp Half-Blood AU for Astrofest -- I had a much bigger, grander, more complex idea mapped out based on all the different positive and negative meanings of the card, but I just bit off more than I could chew in terms of time and energy, so the fic I wrote instead was a much simpler spur-of-the-moment idea. It’s a fine story, I don’t dislike it, but it wasn’t what I’d wanted to write initially. Still, I’m glad it nudged me to start exploring that ‘verse -- I wrote a PJO fic a month or two later and I’d like to write more! I might also revisit the more complex idea someday, I still think that it would be a super cool story! 

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

I received a ton of wonderful comments and tags, but I think some of my favourites were the appreciation for the check ins and conversations around kink in fics like it's always me that ends up getting wet. We love boundaries and consent!!! Having that level of trust with your partner is what most interests me about kink, so it felt really validating and rewarding to see that reflected and appreciated. 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

Looking at my writing tracker, I only wrote like... 800 words in March, so I guess numerically you could say that was hard, since I didn’t do it. 

In the other direction, in August and September I published TEN fics (totaling about 46k words), so that was. a lot of writing. why did I do this. I’m so proud but also kind of concerned. 

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Is it too unspecific to say “all of the smut”? Like wow, usually I don’t really write smut, but this year I was apparently VERY INSPIRED. And I kept writing such huge word counts in one go, wow. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oh man, it’s always hard to pick just one piece (especially without it getting ridiculously long), but let’s go with this snippet from Do You Think The Tides Know, as Zayn says goodbye to Louis at the end of the summer:

Zayn pulls Louis into a tight hug, trying to memorize the feeling of his body, the sound of his heartbeat, the smell of his hair.

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” he says, trying to keep the catch in his throat from showing in his voice. “I know we don’t usually talk that much outside the summer, but… you have my number, if you ever, like, have questions or just… if you ever need anything. Call me.”

Louis chuckles. “I know,” he says. “You’ve always got my back. Thanks, man. You’re a great friend.”

Zayn squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then forces them back open. “Good,” he says, stepping back. “And… good luck.”

A bright smile dawns across Louis’ face. Zayn wishes it was for him, wishes he could make Louis look like that. But failing that, he hopes that the person who does make Louis smile like that – he hopes he never stops.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

This is kind of unspecific, but I think just... being more willing to try things that are unfamiliar and step outside of my usual comfort zone. That willingness feels like growth, and doing that creates growth. 

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Part of me wants to say writing self-motivated fics, stories I tell just because I want to and without outside boxes I have to fit into or people holding me accountable. But maybe the real growth would be acknowledging that those outside influences and motivations are valid, and if they work for me, that’s not such a bad thing. 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

gotta be @alwaysxlarrie. I can always count on lauren to hype me up or help me brainstorm or get my creative gears turning or tell me if a sentence or moodboard looks weird or celebrate my accomplishments. and I love returning the favor! mutual brain furbies for life -- you the best! 

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

The “weird holiday traditions” in The Streetlights Are All Saying Your Name are both real traditions that my family had when I was growing up

I work in a pet store, and so for All Ewe Need Is Lamb, I used information and products and even photos from my work 

As I mentioned before, Do You Think The Tides Know is based on a really personal experience -- it’s not like 100% true to life, but the idea of dating someone while in love with someone else, and knowing that the relationship had an end date, but celebrating the happiness and fun and learning in the meantime -- that was real to me, and super meaningful. So grateful for everyone else who has connected to the fic as well!

And this is kind of the inverse and a slightly more spicy one, so look away if you don’t want to know, but. Writing for the @1dwatersportsficfest ultimately led to me telling my fiancée that I was into that. So. I guess that’s my writing showing up in my real life!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

If you’re afraid of doing something because it feels out of your comfort zone or what you’re used to doing -- that’s where the growth is. Find people who encourage you to do it anyways, who make you feel excited to go there, who celebrate your achievements. It’s so much less scary with friends, and you’ll probably surprise yourself with how much you’re capable of.  

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

With the publication of my fic for the 1D Reverse Bang this week, I am officially finished all my current projects! Which isn’t to say I don’t have forgotten half-finished projects, but I don’t have anything I’m actively working on at the moment. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. What will I daydream about on the bus now???

I’m feeling called back to my Soft Established Relationship Vax’ilmore Fluff Series, so might write a couple of those next (then again, I said I’d do that last year, and that lasted about 8 days so. we’ll see). I’m also eyeing up some of the fests for this coming year (I need external motivation, it’s a problem) and @1dtourdeficfest @faithinthefutureficfest @1dastroficfest are all on my list of contenders.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I’m not sure who all has already done this so apologies if I’m tagging someone who has already done it (or already been tagged a billion times), but: @alwaysxlarrie @haztobegood @zanniscaramouche @andfollowthesun @larry-hiatus @panye @littleroverlouis @beckydoesthings @finelinegynandromorph @paranormalbabydoll @thebreadvansstuff

[greenapricot]

2022 fic year in review

Total number of completed stories: 7

Total word count: 73,146

Fandoms written in: Our Flag Means Death (3), Lewis (2), Shetland (2)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More fic by word count, but less by number of fics.

For the past couple of years I'd been fixated of the idea of posting a fic a month (which did help me get through the early part of the pandemic) but it also kept me from writing anything long. So, in 2022, I decided to let the one fic a month thing go and try to write something longer (which led to me accidentally writing the longest thing I've ever written).

What’s your own favorite story of the year? This actually really hard for me to decide because I spent the second half of the year working on one fic, but I think I’ll have to go with The time it takes to get from here to there (Lewis, James/Robbie). I’ve been meaning to write a story that focuses on the Soul of Genius for years and not only did I finally manged but I also think it’s very true to the vibe that the episode deserves.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wrote the longest thing I’ve ever written which is also a full AU and in a new fandom: Riches and Wonders (OFMD, blackbonnet, modern AU). But I think of it as more of an experiment than a risk.

I didn’t actually intend to write something novel-length when I started and once I realized that was what was happening I’d already written half of it. So then it became a game of can I write something that long in less than a year and could I start posting it before it was 100% complete and still finish it. The answer is yes to all of that and I’m super proud of myself for getting there and sticking with it.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I said this last year too, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads (Lewis/Shetland xover, James goes walking in Shetland). I was working on it pretty steadily before I started the little OFMD modern AU that turned into R&W.

Then, there are those three Lewis casefics that I’ve got mostly plotted that I would like to finish someday, plus I’d like to write some Izzy POV (possibly in the R&W universe). And there are a few other WIPs an new ideas kicking around. But mostly I just want to keep writing things that make me happy.

Most popular story of the year? Riches and Wonder by all possible metrics (which is probably a bit unfair it being in a far bigger fandom than I’ve written in in years and 15 chapters long). It’s actually one of my most popular fics period at this point. Second most popular by kudos is It’s misery loves you and by comments is The time it takes to get from here to there.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Don’t go dark on me (Shetland, Jimmy/Duncan). Part of my s6 missing scenes series that takes place before the first episode.

Most fun story to write: It's misery loves you (OFMD, blackbonnet, Izzy POV) Writing Izzy watching Ed and Stede reuniting and being absolutely fucking livid about it was so much fun. I think the final count was 38 fucks in a 1900 word fic. I love writing unreliable narrators and his utter impotent rage just made me snicker all the way through. Definitely want to write some more Izzy POV this year. 

Here comes your man (Lewis, James/Robbie) was also very fun, getting James all flustered after seeing old photos of Robbie in his rugby shorts.

Most unintentionally telling story: I hardly ever have a good answer to this question and I feel like I have even less of one than usual for 2022 since more than six months of it was spent working on R&W (which is a blatant romantic comedy with a dash of angst in the middle for flavor). Maybe that’s something telling? Really what I want is a story with a bit of angst and an HEA (this is not at all surprising).

Biggest disappointment: For the past few years I’ve has a goal of finishing one of my three Lewis casefics and I didn’t do that again in 2022. But I did write the longest thing I’ve ever written in 7 months so I feel like that’s a good compromise. Also, the fact that I was able to finish something so long in (for me) in such a short time gives me hope that I will finish one of those casefics one day.

Biggest surprise: Being inspired to write in a new fandom which is a really big fandom and writing the longest fic I’ve even written, and completely without intending to. Also, apparently I didn’t write any Endeavour fic in 2022, so here’s hoping I get inspired by s9.

I don’t know how many people have done this (or something like it) already but I’ll tag: @thankyouforbeingsowrong @bryndeavour @vita-s-west @mcgstarroar @mr-iskender @femmenerdy @philleegirl @swimmingfoxsticks @desperately-human and anyone else who wants to do this.

List of the fics I wrote in 2022 under the cut:

Don't go dark on me - Shetland (1,159 words) Jimmy/Duncan - teen - Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Jimmy’s brow furrows into that pursed-lipped annoyed look of his, he shakes his head. “You’re just going to leave it to chance? See what happens and then sort out the fallout later?”

“No,” Duncan says, he puts two pairs of wool socks into Jimmy’s suitcase, then a third, trying to keep his tone even. “I’m going to make a deliberate decision to support my partner after the death of his mum.”

Here Comes Your Man - Lewis (4,046 words) James/Robbie - explicit - Robbie Lewis in rugby shorts, thirsty pining, Oral Sex

“Find something interesting?” Lewis asks. He sounds amused.   

“Um.” James’ face goes hot. Every potential quip dries up on the tip of his tongue. He is still holding the rugby photo, the other three photos next to him on the table, clear evidence of his prying. He’s sat in one of Lewis’ dining chairs, but he has no memory of sitting down, and he— “I suppose you could say that,” James says feebly.

The time it takes to get from here to there - Lewis (6,445 words) James/Robbie - teen - The Soul of Genius, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending

Lewis is right, James does want someone in his life. Need, he’s not so sure about, but he is intimately acquainted with want. Trouble is, that person is sitting across the table from him, oblivious, and telling him to go find someone else.

It's misery loves you - Our Flag Means Death (1,908 words) Ed/Stede - mature - Reunions, Izzy POV, Izzy-typical overuse of the word fuck Pirate-typical violence

“Ed!” someone shouts.

Izzy spins around, following Blackbeard’s gaze. Who the fuck dares?

And fucking, fuck. Walking toward Blackbeard through the smoke and fog like he has any fucking right to be here, as if anyone fucking wants him here, is Stede fucking Bonnet.

A tunnel to crawl through - Our Flag Means Death (2,361 words) Ed/Stede - mature - Reunions, Pirate-typical violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

“Ed?” Stede’s hand touches his arm, his fingers are rough in a way they weren’t before, when Stede passed him teacups and fine fabrics, when they— “Edward, are you okay?”

Blackbeard looks down at Stede’s hand on his arm, at Stede’s face so close to his own, at the dagger he’s still holding to Stede’s throat which he has made no effort to step away from. His hand is shaking, the blade trembling against Stede’s skin. Stede who is here. Stede who is right fucking in front of him, close enough to smell if Blackbeard were to take a breath.

Never quite like this - Shetland (753 words) Jimmy/Duncan - teen - First Kiss

“Hey,” Jimmy says, as if he hasn’t said just that to Duncan a thousand times over the years in a thousand ways; exhausted, exasperated, teasing, content, relieved, fond even. But he’s never said it quite like this. Never with his face so close to Duncan’s it’s barely in focus. Never with that soft look in his eyes.

“Hey,” Duncan says, more of a sigh than a word.

Riches and Wonders - Our Flag Means Death (56,474 words) Ed/Stede - explicit - Modern AU, Mutual Pining, while also spending all their time together, a bit of angst, with a happy ending (in both senses of the word), So Much Softness

“Yes,” Stede says, sitting up a little taller on his bar stool. “I would love a drink.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Stede.”   

“Stede,” Mr Gorgeous Brown Eyes says. “Unusual. I like it.” And Stede likes the way his name sounds on the man’s lips. “I’m Ed.”   

Ed’s handshake is firm, his fingers warm and a bit calloused, the leather of his fingerless gloves smooth and soft. Stede’s eyes are drawn to the tattoos circling his arm as the handshake lingers maybe a bit too long.

[quietwingsinthesky]

7, 21, and 23 for the fanfic writer ask game? :)

hello, dear anon!

7. Well. Let's see. There's the 11 prompts in my askbox rn, I've got a pretty good idea for what they'll all turn out to be, it's just the getting the words down bit that's messing with me. And then beyond that, there's the last 4 chapters of my apartmentverse fic, and then my most vague ones are for (extremely self-indulgent) fics about my oc because its 2023 and i Will be writing fics about my michael-coded nephil child, and then i've got a few old ones like my johnazazel thing from kinktober last year, gotta rework this one where michael fucking dies lmao, uh one where they just kill god but like before lucifer gets banished its a whole thing inspired by a deleted umbrella academy fic and then obviously there's the samifer-

21. Yes! Yesterday, actually! Fuck! Look, long story short, the prompt I'm working on now is Lucifer + mommy kink + pegging and. It got out of hand. And not in the usual fun way, I mean in a sort of distracted, 'I am missing the point of the prompt' way. So fuck it. I scraped the lot of it and I've started over and it's much better now. And there was also this samifer fic that I started a while back that's technically in my drafts right now on ao3 but... it just isn't up to snuff. I'm going to let it delete itself.

23. The only multichapter fic I have right now is my apartmentverse one, and so, for that, it's been variable. The first chapter was a single short scene between Gabriel and his dog, and that was all it needed to be. The second was a longer series of snapshots because Lucifer, surprise, does not become a better person to be around in a day's time. And the Michael chapter I'm working on now (+the following Raphael, then group, then secret chapter with secret character pov) are all going to be single scenes again.

I guess its that I find the emotional resolution of whatever's happening, and after winding down from that, then I end it off?

[iworshipsappho]

🤡🎶💖🤩? <33

aaah tysm for the ask!! <33

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? unsurprisingly its this interaction between stella and henry that i wrote in my unrequited stedrika oneshot :')

“I- what!” Stella all but screeched. “How in the actual fuck did you know? Was I that obvious? And more importantly, how have you kept quiet about it? Like I thought that you knowing was a guarantee that the whole school would, especially after the incident with Wilhelm and Felice.”

“Hey! That was one time, and for the record, I only told Walter, alright?” Henry retorted defensively. “I know you’re trying to distract me, it wont work. Now spill.”

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? hmm not really... the lyrics usually distract me from what im thinking of writing but there are times when im thinking about a certain pairing or wip idea and my mind supplies a song which really resonates with that au/idea- i now have a bunch of fic themed playlists whit just one or two songs in them afhsgdgk

an unrelated song that i have been looping tho is Kill Bill by SZA its an absolute bop

💖 What made you start writing? i have been reading storybooks and listening to storys since i was 2 years old... my pre-school teacher instilled an ardent love for the language and storytelling in me and ive just been captivated by the art since i was a literal toddler. i started writing small stories and rhymes when i was probably 6 or 7 and then it sort of fizzled out... but ive been getting more into it since lockdown and rediscovering my love for creation and writing... and honestly thats the best thing COVID has done for. these last few years gave me so many more new interests and helped me realize who i was and what i wanna do with my life and helped me be more in tune with my emotions and all that translates in my writing... so yeah writing has always been a medium for me to be myself and let me express myself freely... and im pretty sure its the freedom and acceptance that pushes me to write :]]

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

right now? its probably stella... ive really enjoyed starting fics in her pov and since we have immense freedom with her fanon interpretation, its fun to give her a more in depth character while also acknowledging the fact that she is an entitled and classist person on the show

also she's in love with her bestfriend need i explain more 😭

[writingdollworlds]

Hello and welcome to my doll blog!

I am 18 years old, autistic and LGBTQ+, with a special interest in American Girl. I like and follow from @jamboy1111 as that is my main.

At my heart, I am a writer, and I hope to spark inspiration in y'all who come across my blog. I have a lot of fun and wacky ideas, and I hope you enjoy yourself here! I currently have 37 dolls, if you want to hear more about the story that my collection inspires you can look under the cut ^^

The idea to make a yearbook type of collage came from @futuristicsaladparadise, there will be many updates to this yearbook but for now this it it!

As a note, I have very poor memory due to a medical condition, which makes it difficult for me to understand children's povs. So most of my dolls end up being teenagers, I also aged up the canon dolls to be 13-21. This is not for any bad reason, at the end of the day these dolls are meant to be and canonically are 7-13; plus there are children in the fandom. If you make NSFW anything about these dolls you will be blocked with no hesitation. You have no respect from me.

Have a good day!

Also for the story of my collection there is a small TW for death so please be warned if that is a trigger for you!

The story for my collection may not be original. With so many doll collectors floating around, I'm sure someone has thought this up before. Either way I created this without that influence.

My collection story mixes the stories of all the dolls into one that makes sense to me. All dolls start in their own stories, their own timelines/universes. But due to a magical well they all get transported to one small northern town. Really all the dolls, in the blink of eye in one rural towns clearing. Not only did all these people show up, but the town shifted to accommodate them as well. Gabriela's Liberty center is added to the town square. Which now has the world by us room in it. There is a new dance and gymnastic studio. Various homes and shops all crop up suddenly. They come to coin this event as being Blinked. I haven't figured which dolls family will be in the town originally before everyone shows up; but whoever it is, their guardian inherited a large manor from a distant family member. When everything was blinked, most of the rooms were transformed to suit the dolls that were blinked. Apartments and other houses appeared in town too to make the town livable. They tried several things to get back, but nothing worked. Most decided to make the best out of their situation. About a month after everyone got blinked they all received letters from any family left behind. To the family, the blinked person is simply away from home. For school, college, travel, tour, or other various means. The blinked can write back as long as they don't share details that would mess with timelines. Speaking of, blinked are also unable to view any records that would cause any problems. For example, they could view details about the molasses flood but not if they died in the molasses flood. Information that is deemed unsafe is blurred out, almost glitchy. Any person who tries to read it to them sounds distant and staticy. There is several explorations of their circumstances. Some try to sort through all the odd and ends to see if anything can made of it. The best conclusion they can get to is that over several universes, timelines, and eras several people who were not meant to die were put in perilous situations and in an attempt to over correct itself a good number of people were blinked on accident. These people include Caroline, who went to sea and got stuck in a storm. Judith (OC) and Saige who were part of a horse competition that went awry. And a few others. Every other person was doing normal activities and seemingly got caught in the crossfire. Most are able to adapt to their new surroundings due to the fact they are not alone. There are dozens of people who understand your feelings. Friendships blossom and it doesn't take long for everyone to be there for each other too.

[fiercely-raging-writer]

Happy STS, Jai!

For any 5 characters: What are their fatal flaws? Bonus: are they aware of it? (LIST)

Describe 20 seconds left in 5 words or less.

Do any of your WIPs have a theme song? If so, what is it?

What is your favorite part of writing? Least favorite?

For the WIP that best fits: Why did you decide to tell this story? Are there any special meanings behind it?

What type of scenes are the hardest to write?

Which of your OC's is your favorite to write?

Share an image (or several) that remind you of your story. (For WMITTO)

Share a line you're really proud of!! (Bonus: why do you like it?)

Have fun!

~Morri 🗡(@memento-morri-writes)

hey morri, happy sts!! thank you for all the questions, i love and adore you <333

under the cut because it got. really long.

listing out alex [wmitto], iza [tkqg], anusha [20sl], suraj [20sl] and amber!! [elemental]

alex: would save his friends over the world. he. he Becomes Aware of it.

iza: prideful. will never bow down, or stop fighting. this, ironically, also happens to be one of her best qualities. half aware of it.

anusha: timid. she's only truly Herself while acting, and she's afraid to step up and into the light. not aware.

suraj: thinks he's better than EVERYONE. so arrogant and also a selfish dick. he's majorly flawed also i love him. he is VERY aware of his flaws.

amber: will carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. very unaware of this. my baby girl <3

2. ooh, okay, five words: 'girl accidentally becomes a spy', alternatively, 'kids try stopping bomb explosion'.

3. 20 SECONDS LEFT. it's got the mission impossible theme song and also this fallout one and this other mi3 one AND this james bond one and also this final spy one. i have a tiny mission impossible obsession. and a tiny james bond one. i'm so sorry.

4. favourite part: getting to create characters and put them in situations and have them experience crazy things that make them grow as people. and also getting to work through your problems as you write and also writing things i love to read. least favourite part: the planning, + the little filling up bits where you have to transition between a scene and the next and you're just. blank. and also when you WANT to write but No Words.

5. for 20sl, because i am Attached, i made up this story ages ago, and it was based off this one scene i really wanted to write with cool spy gadgets. as a kid i was OBSESSED with cool spy gadgets. i wanted to fly, but i couldn't, so i made my characters fly instead. anyways, the books i grew up reading didn't really have any indian protagonists. i have one [1] book in my collection with an indian cast, and i wanted to write something for myself, something 12 year old me needed, something cheesy and silly and something kids in india could read and love. and yeah, the idea of gadgets and spies was adjusted a little and BOOM! i just want to tell the story of a Normal 12 Year Old Schoolgirl who now has to save the world.

6. transition scenes. i don't even know why. i jsut. find them difficult. also, action scenes, if i'm not Feeling The Mood.

7. alex and amber!! i project onto them so much hhh and also i find writing the pov character in true colours really easy and comfortable as well!!

8.

stuff like this yeah. all images from pinterest!!

9. hmm, going with this:

her hands still reach out, grab my heart, and she whispers: 'did you even love me?' i did. i did. i do.

it's from a poem i wrote!! i like it because it's. i do not know actually. i just kind of do kjdjkfhs.

thank you again for the ask!!

[cartoonus-maximus]

Notes and Observations on FNAF TFTP Vol 2: Happs

Before we get into it, I need to say… I did not enjoy this volume. I thought the first story was pretty good, but the second and third one were not fun, man. I really liked the character of Steve in the first story, and the plot of a man being essentially kidnapped and continuously gaslit by "his family!" It really worked for me! But those other two… oof.

I have two main complaints about the second and third stories. The first problem is how long the stories are - so much of the stories is just long segments of nothing happening, and I was so bored for so much of them.

My second complaint is that both of these stories portray subject matter that I don't think is appropriate for the book's target audience of young, impressionable teens. "Happs" is told from the POV of a teenager who thinks about harming his classmates, with a narrative that encourages the reader to understand his reasons and rationalizes them, not offering alternatives for dealing with his negative emotions. And "B-7" is�� well, I saw a few book reviews that referred to this story as "tone deaf at best and outright offensive and cruel at worst," and I'm inclined to agree with that statement. I'll get more into it later in this post.

Also worth noting: according to the wiki, these stories were written solely by Andrea Waggener and Elley Cooper. Whether the initial story outlines came from Scott or not I don't know, but I thought it was interesting that he isn't doing any of the main writing on the books by this point.

But overall, this volume was a disappointment. But, with that said, let's get into it.

"Help Wanted"

This story centers around a gas station employee named Steve Snodgrass. Steve wanted to be a video game developer but never got the chance, so he's stuck in a low-paying job he doesn't want.

"Sometimes stray cats followed him…" I see this as an absolute win.

Steve is working on making a computer game on his own time, largely just as a way of sorting out what his actual abilities are and to hopefully turn it into a portfolio project. The game is a family friendly game of fetch quests starring playable chipmunk characters, and is called "Chip Off The Old Block."

(Steve is definitely a stand-in for Scott himself, isn't he? Down on his luck game dev? Making a game that sounds similar to "Chipper And Sons?" He's gotta be Scott.)

At work the next day, a strangely well-dressed man approaches Steve in the gas station and offers him a job. He gives Steve his business card, which labels him as one of the higher-ups at Fazbear Entertainment.

(The man's name is Brock Edwards, which absolutely SENT ME when I first heard the audiobook narrator say it. Sorry, but I've been a Marvel fan for years and all I could think of in that moment was an image of Eddie Brock wearing the Venom symbiote as a business suit.)

Steve's first thoughts about the Fazbear company is remembering all the rumors that used to float around about why the pizza places closed down - rumors involving murders and paranormal events. He doesn't know much about the company, though. Edwards assures him that the rumors are untrue, and explains that the company is trying to turn their public appearance around.

Steve has previously published two computer games that he made online, and Edwards says that Fazbear's found Steve through his games, and that they want him to make games for them. Specifically, they want him to take all those rumors about murder and hauntings and make horror games out of them, specifically to make fun of them.

"The idea seemed distasteful at best, cruel at worst." Yeah, that's just how Fazbear Entertainment rolls, baby!

Edwards explains that the company wants 4 of these games. He also says that, if Steve takes the job, he'll be taken to live in a fancy condo with luxurious amenities, all paid for by Fazbear's. FE will pay for his every want, need, or expense so long as he makes four simple games. (This… sure seems like a lot of kick-back for a game dev in this particular job. Especially given that Steve hasn't even accepted the job yet, or shown that he's remotely interested or even capable. His portfolio is made of family friendly fetch-quests, not tongue-in-cheek horror, but Edwards talks to him during this segment like Steve already has the job. A lot of it is just Edwards trying to sell the job, I get it, but Steve doesn't obviously seem to be a good fit for the role.)

Steve was under the assumption that the murders really happened, and the idea of creating games strictly to capitalize off of them makes him uncomfortable. He says as much to Edwards, and privately thinks to himself that he doesn't like the idea of making horror games for kids. He turns down the job offer and returns to mopping the gas station.

The next morning, he gets messaged on a dating app by a woman named Victoria, who texts like a chat 'bot. I'm sure it's nothing, though. /sarcasm

Victoria immediately invites Steve over to her house over the weekend, saying she'll make lunch for him. He agrees. (Damn, woman! The grass doesn't grow under your feet, does it? XD )

Steve talks to his buddy, Matt, about the message from Victoria. Matt works at a computer store. (And this what… our third 'Matt who works with tech' character? Unclear if meaningful reference or running gag.)

Steve goes out to Victoria's house, which turns out to be a quaint little thing out in the country. He enters the house, but it turns out to be empty, completely devoid of any furniture. He wonders if this woman is actually a real estate salesman who's tricked him into coming to a house showing or something. A mechanical whirring and high-pitched ringing takes him off guard. The sound almost breaks his brain, but then seems to fade away, and he finds himself staring at Victoria, who's appeared in front of him and is somehow even more beautiful than her profile picture.

"Steve was instantly besotted." (Scott has really been letting Andrea's romantic fiction writing background come out in these book recently. XD I'm not complaining! But there are certain vocabulary words that I just simply do not expect from a FNAF book.)

The high-pitched ringing and mechanical screaming come back, and Steve falls unconscious on the floor. When he wakes up again, he's in the same house but the house is different. There's furniture in it now, and many personal items of his own, as well as those of Victoria's. While he's still disoriented, Victoria walks into the room to check on him, telling him he had a strange dizzy spell and talking to him like they've been together for years.

Victoria tells Steve that he was in a car accident a few years ago, and that because of it he sometimes forgets large chunks of his life. (Oof. Been there. Hate the feeling.) She's very patient with him though, and helps him fill in those blanks. As they talk, Steve realizes that he and Victoria have been married for a few years.

There's another time jump. This time, Steve is in bed, and is woken up by two children, a boy and a girl who look like both himself and Victoria. Steve assumes they must be his, but has no memory or knowledge of them. Assuming this is a normal part of his life, Steve follows them into the kitchen, where Victoria is making them breakfast. He learns that the kids are named Abigail and Avery. He and Victoria are both aware of his strange memory lapses, but they do their best to hide the situation from their children, who are too young to understand.

Steve learns he's still working at the gas station, since no other job opportunities came to him. Victoria tells him she's currently between jobs, and that they don't make enough money to keep the house they're living in. They're currently facing a foreclosure. Shortly after they're discussing their financial woes, a car drives up outside, and Brock Edwards himself steps out of the car.

Edwards and Steve have another conversation about a potential job with Fazbear's. Desperate to keep his house and provide for his family, Steve accepts the job.

Steve's cell phone is on the fritz. He doesn't remember how long it's been inoperable. The house Steve and his family live in is a ways out in the country, with no other human-inhabited structures nearby, rendering them completely isolated.

Steve is awoken during the night by the sound of someone moving around in the living room. Thinking it's a burglar, he grabs a softball bat and goes to investigate. It turns out to be his four-year-old daughter, Abby, who is walking in place and bumping into things like a Bethesda character. Her eyes are "blank" and "staring at nothing." This strange behavior stops when Steve calls her name, and she snaps back to behaving like a normal child (but not like one who's been sleepwalking).

All the doors in the house are kept partially ajar. "For some reason, none of them would fully close, let alone lock."

Victoria tells Steve that the kids both sleepwalk sometimes, and tells him that it's a trait inherited from him. She says that Steve sleepwalks and suffers from night terrors, but that so far the kids only have the sleepwalking part.

Steve doesn't sleep well. He keeps getting the feeling that there's something else in the house that's going to harm his wife and kids.

(Not me drawing parallels between this story and that time Scott was talking to fans online and said that he suffered from night terrors, leading to him convincing himself that his own characters were coming to attack his wife and kids. I'm not thinking about that at all.)

Now with his new job working for Fazbear Entertainment, Steve gets to work on the first of their line of games. He works from home, and works at it very diligently. He's determined to make the games as scary as he can, and pours a lot of his own fears and night terrors into the them.

One afternoon, the kids want their dad to play hide-and-seek with him (a game that never goes well in these books). This scene is actually pretty cute, with Steve pretending to struggle finding his son, who isn't a good hider, and loudly and theatrically asking "Where is Avery?"

Steve has trouble finding Abby, and gets worried. He starts to spiral, thinking about situations where kids go missing and are never found, or are taken and their parents never find out what happened to them. He starts to panic, seemingly for no reason, and he starts desperately searching for his daughter.

"Something about her invisibility triggered a primal parental fear."

Steve is also scared of certain locations in his own house. Certain closets and doorways that feature prominently in his nightmares, or spaces in the floor and walls that creak loudly when he doesn't expect them to. He loves the house, and is happy to live here with his family, but he also attributes his nightmares to the house, believing that something in the house is causing his increased anxieties and phobias.

Steve thinks about this while getting back to work on the Fazbear's game. He's programming jumpscares into the game now, largely inspired by his children jumping out at him from their hiding places.

That night, Steve goes to bed keyed up, and can't get to sleep. He's scared to go to sleep. (Ugh, been there too. My guy really is just like me fr.) While laying in bed not sleeping, he hears mechanical whirring and rumbling sounds in the walls of the house.

"Whatever was after him was inside the walls. Scurrying. Scratching. Looking for a way out."

"The surface of the wall began to pulse and throb, forming a large bubble on the surface that reminded Steve of the way cheese bubbles up on a pizza. Then, with a wet 'splat,' the bubble popped like a zit, and an oily, black substance spattered across the room." (Again with the pulsing doors and walls???? Dude, that's so gross! I love it!)

Victoria wakes up and tells Steve that he's having a nightmare and sleepwalking. She gets him back to bed, but he doesn't get to sleep.

Lol, "DJ Dan the Music Man!" XD

O the weather outside is frightful, and Steve and his family are trapped inside the house for several days as snow piles up outside. Steve becomes more fearful of the house and more manic about it over time.

One night, when Steve is taking a shower, he finds strange little cuts and abrasions on his arms and legs. They remind him of shaving cuts, but they're all in places where he doesn't shave. He remembers playing a game of Tickle Fight with his kids earlier, wherein they touched him in a lot of these places, but he can't imagine that's connected at all.

Steve is also suffering from constantly hearing a high-pitched ringing sound. He doesn't know what it is or where it's coming from, but he's convinced it's something that means to hurt him. (Have you considered that you might have tinnitus? I'm told that's what it's like.) The high-pitched ringing only stops when he's working on the games for Fazbear. (… Huh.)

"Here's the latest hit from Sailor Thrift!" (Lol! What's her latest hit? "Fortresses Falling?" "Exurban Tall Tales?")

Steve has another round of apparent night terrors, wherein he sees giant mechanical snakes burst out of the walls of his home to attack him. He tries to warn his wife about the snakes. Victoria suggests it's time to find him a therapist. (Which is a fair call to make when your husband is hallucinating giant snakes in the dead of winter in the northern hemisphere.)

Oh! And now there are spiders! Steve hallucinates giant spiders next. (And boy howdy do I *adore* the nightmare imagery of this segment! It's soooo gross, lol.)

Steve comes to the conclusion that the high-pitched ringing he keeps hearing is a malfunctioning smoke alarm in the house. He finds the smoke alarm and yanks it off the ceiling, and then destroys it against the floor. This stops the ringing, but now he hears more mechanical sounds, sounds that make him think of "the production floor of a small factory."

As he looks around himself, he can also see that the house around him is different. There are treadmarks on the floor. There are trapdoors in the walls and ceilings, located in the same places where he keeps hallucinating monstrous animals emerging. As he looks around, he thinks the house looks like the inside of an amusement park's haunted house ride.

(The "smoke alarm" here is definitely something akin to the illusion disks from the earlier books, right? A circular object with a flashing light in the center of it, makes a high-pitched noise, causes those nearby to see and experience things that aren't real? Def illusion disk.)

Something approaches from behind him, and Steve ducks into a coat closet. The door doesn't close all the way, taking away his sense of security. Peeking through the gap in the door, Steve sees a robot wheel into the room, a simple steel design with a feminine mask. The robot is clearly looking around itself, and calls out Steve's name in his wife's voice and mannerisms. This robot is soon joined by two smaller robots, these ones with masks of children's faces on them. These smaller robots speak in Abigail and Avery's voices, and ask the first robot "Mommy? Where's Daddy?"

Steve has the unfortunate realization that his beloved family aren't real. Despite this, he has to sit still and keep silent so the robots won't find him.

As the robots search the nearby rooms for Steve, they begin to act less and less like humans, their searching becoming more aggressive and violent. (They pick up furniture to look under it for Steve, and it just made me think of that one bit from the graphic novel where Circus Baby picks up the couch while looking for Carlton. XD)

There's been a radio in the house that Victoria keeps on a lot of the time (the one with DJ Dan the Music Man!). During this scene, DJ Dan addresses Steve personally, trying to convince him to come out of his hiding spot. The DJ's voice tells Steve that he needs to come out, and that his wife and kids are worried about him, all while Steve's robotic "family" continue to tear apart the room searching for him. There are also multiple of these radios spread out around the house, allowing the DJ to speak to him in each room.

The DJ talks to Steve in a way that makes it clear that Steve is being watched, either by the DJ himself or by someone else. It's also clear at this point that someone has been watching Steve for years, since the DJ references private aspects of Steve's life from before he met Victoria, and even before Fazbear's approached him.

The DJ tells him that yes, the "night terrors" were caused by an external force (likely Fazbear's, but he doesn't say), and that their only purpose was to inspire Steve with making the games. The DJ offers to stop the night terrors altogether if that's what Steve wants.

Steve realizes that he's been both happier and more fearful in this house than he ever has in the rest of his life. He decides to stay here, in a fantasy world with scary robots and a fake family. He asks the DJ how he can stay in this house, and the DJ instructs him to walk to a specific part of the house and press a button. When Steve pushes the button, the high-pitched ringing returns, knocking him to the ground.

Once the ringing dies down, Steve finds himself facing Victoria again. Choosing to forcefully forget that she's not real, he goes to his wife, hugging her and kissing her. Victoria holds him lovingly and whispers comforting words to him… while stabbing him in the heart over and over.

Presumably, Steve dies in the arms of his robot wife, happy to do so because of whatever mind control device exists in the house.

He never did finish those games for Fazbear's, though. Like yes, he was hired to create the in-universe equivalents of FNAFs 1, 2, 3, and 4, but he never finished them.

I wonder if DJ Dan the Music Man is meant to actually be some form of everyone's favorite spider animatronic DJ Music Man, or if he's just Brock Edwards or another person from Fazbear's who's just using the DJ's name as a joke. Because the idea of the DJMM speaking into this fake house set-up is much funnier to me than the alternative. Just a big ol' spider standing over a house, playing pop songs while watching a man and three endos wander around inside.

"Happs"

The hero of this story is a high school boy named Aiden, who, of course, gets bullied by the other kids from his school, even when they aren't at school.

I… I didn't realize "jackass," "crap," and "pissed" were appropriate words for the age rating on these books. They definitely weren't when I was in that age bracket and reading Scholastic books. It took me by surprise but y'know, if your audience is willingly reading stories about murder robots, they're probably fine with some edgier vocabulary words.

Aiden and his friend Jace (short for Jason, I assume?) go to the Mega Pizzaplex, where Aiden gets a black eye from one of his bullies while playing Fazer Blaster. His new injury is then mocked and laughed at by some girls from their school, causing Aiden to mentally spiral a bit, thinking about how much he hates his classmates.

(Side note: because I'm listening to the audiobooks, I don't always know how characters' names are spelled until I hop onto the wiki later to check the spelling. Since I assumed Jace's name was short for Jason, I spelled it "Jase" all throughout my notes. And because there's a bit about Aiden's bullies and a teacher mispronouncing his name, I was led to believe that his name was an intentional misspelling of the name Aiden as "Aedon." Like his parents were those kind of parents who spell their kid's name strangely. I believe I corrected every instance of the spelling, but if you happen to notice a "Jase" or "Aedon," that's why.)

Aiden and Jace joke about stabbing their classmates. I get the feeling Jace is actually joking, while Aiden isn't really joking at all.

The Pizzaplex they're at has an indoor roller coaster and complex system of plastic climbing tubes, both of which run across the building, between smaller attractions and over the walking traffic of customers. This sounds similar to the description of the Pizzaplex from the earlier story, "Under Construction."

"Happs," or really H.A.P.P.S. (the Helpful Automated Pipe Protection Server) is a safety and maintenance robot that Aiden and Jace have encountered at the Pizzaplex before. Happs' job is to systematically crawl through the plastic climbing tubes, checking for structural damage, cleaning the tubes, and helping any kids who have gotten stuck, lost, or simply scared.

Aiden is neglected at home, largely ignored by his parents. Jace lives with an abusive father, and talks about locking his father out of the house for his own safety. (What the text actually says is that Jace's father is "mean." And really? We're allowed to use words like "jackass" and "pissed" but we're not allowed to say "abusive?")

"The Pizzaplex was shaped like a pizza."

There's like… a long section describing the inside of the Pizzaplex.

The tubes are called "Freddy's Fortress" by the way. There are also decorative illusions throughout the tubes. These tubes are also soundproof, a fact that I'm sure won't cause any bad situations later in this story.

"How unsafe can it be?" In Fazbear's? Very.

The boys crawl around in the tubes, and they come across a section that's closed off. Aiden tries to break into the section, curious to see what's behind it, but he gets in trouble when Happs comes across them. The robot seems to understand that the boys are messing with the structure, but proclaims that the boys must be lost, and tries to forcibly guide them to an entrance point. Aiden and Jace get mad and assault the robot, beating and kicking Happs, breaking the robot into pieces. Their actions also cause the segment of pipe they're in to come loose, and the whole thing crashes down into a secluded part of the Pizzaplex.

The boys have the wind knocked out of them when they fall. When they come to, they find themselves in the dark, but in the hidden segment of the maze they had been trying to get into. Happs is nowhere to be seen.

A mechanism inserts a pipe partition behind the boys, blocking them into this section of the maze. Aiden realizes that the partitions are made of two-way mirrors, allowing him and Jace to see out but preventing anyone else from seeing in.

(I… don't understand this story. The pipe they were in broke off and fell, due to their roughhousing in it, but there's now a whole section of pipe maze to explore??? I don't understand how that happened.)

The boys explore this section of pipe for a bit, but slowly begin to realize that they may be trapped in here with no way to call for help. They start to get hungry and thirsty, and they have injuries from their fall. It's also pretty clear that Aiden and Jace can see through the pipes, watching people outside the sections, but no one else seems able to see them.

The boys try to break out of their new prison. They're interrupted by the arrival of the broken Happs. Happs' face and arms are broken, making the robot look like it's sneering and leaving the robot with sharp, metal limbs. He keeps stabbing and scraping with the dangerous remains of his arms.

"Happs appeared… And he did not look happy." I'm pretty sure the name 'Happs' was selected for the sole purpose of using this sentence.

(I think it's funny that "jackass" was acceptable dialogue earlier, but this section of the story insists on referring to the boys sitting "on their butts." "Ass" is no longer an appropriate word.)

Afraid of being stabbed by the robot, the boys run away from Happs. They just end up cornering themselves, becoming trapped deeper in the maze.

The boys end up forced into a physical confrontation with the broken Happs. They get injured, but don't succeed in damaging the robot any more than they already have.

… Back into a ballpit? So soon?

Happs catches up with them. He tries to grab Jace by the ankle, but, with no proper hands, the robot ends up slicing Jace's right foot clean off. While Jace screams in pain, Aiden grabs his friend and tries to carry him away.

Between the two boys, Happs keeps focusing on Jace. We were told earlier in the story that Aiden is further along in puberty than Jace is, and that Aiden looks a bit like an adult while Jace looks a bit like a little kid. A human could recognize that they're both teenagers in that weird, awkward stage of puberty, but I wonder if that's why Happs keeps focusing on Jace so much.

Aiden tries desperately to save his friend, but is unable to. Jace ends up impaled when Happs tries to pick him up, and Aiden both feels and watches while his best and only friend dies in his arms. Aiden tries to carry his friend's body with him while he tries to escape, but ends up unable to, and is forced to leave Jace's body behind.

"Jace was in the ballpit. Jace's blood was in the ballpit." … Sorry, I'm having thoughts about Eleanor's ballpit from the previous series. Y'know, the one filled with old blood and Remnant? Like a body (or multiple bodies?) was stored there? Yeah, I'm just… I'm just thinking.

I do not appreciate that moment of victim blaming. It's not the fault of Aiden and Jace that their classmates bullied them. A kid being "weird" or "a loner" shouldn't give the bullies clearance to harass them. While this moment of victim blaming happens inside Aiden's head, and he's a teenager who doesn't know any better than to blame himself in the moment, I just worry about including moments like that in a book series for teenagers. The younger members of the audience might get the wrong idea.

But, at the beginning of this story, I also wondered (and worried!) about Aiden's violent feelings being presented so openly. He literally suggests gutting a classmate like a fish as an appropriate way of handling the bully, and he fantasizes about shooting a classmate. He means shooting him with the Fazer Blaster gun in the game, but the point still stands. While I personally think it's important to present dark topics in fiction, and while I recognize this book series as a horror series about torture and child murder, I can't help but worry a little bit about these kinds of characters. These aren't side characters, or even just characters who happen to exist -- these are the main characters of these stories, built into a narrative that actively encourages the reader to relate to them. Aiden isn't the first protag of these books to fantasize about harming a classmate, and I'm sure he won't be the last, but I have some concerns about using them as pov characters in a book series for teens, many of whom are a certain level of impressionable.

"Aiden had been essentially herded like an animal into a killing zone. And now he had nowhere to go."

This story is so long, and most of it is just prolonging this kid's death. He doesn't even actually die during the story! The story ends before he actually dies. Presumably he ends up going out the same way Jace did, but… *shrugging.*

"B-7"

This story opens on a happy family enjoying an evening in front of the television: a mother, a father, and a little boy named Billy. Billy watches "Freddy and Friends," enraptured.

Billy is a miniature copy of his father in a lot of ways, both in appearance and in personality. Billy and his father have matching brown hair, brown eyes, and similar facial features, and Billy doesn't think he looks anything like his mother, who has blonde hair and different facial features.

Billy has previously been a very sickly child. He's too young still to know exactly what was wrong with him, but he knows he's spent a substantial amount of time at the hospital as a patient, and that he's "had his back stuck full of needles."

Billy's father is away at work most of the time, and has some sort of office job. Billy's mother works from home as an investor and financial advisor.

Billy's father (Dan) doesn't like "Freddy and Friends," and tries to switch the TV to a sports game… y'know, while his preteen son watches his favorite show. Parent of the year right there.

On screen, the Fazbear characters sing, dance, eat pizza, and point to a security camera mounted on the wall above them. The characters ask each other "Who do you think is watching us?" and decide to go find the person watching them through the camera.

Freddy is Billy's favorite character. Billy decides he wants to be like Freddy, pretends to be an animatronic for the rest of the evening and into the next morning. He walks stiffly and speaks robotically. He likes the idea of being big and strong. He also believes that animatronics don't feel pain, and likes the idea of not feeling any pain.

Billy's dad spends three seconds with his son at breakfast and then decides to go get breakfast at the office. (My god, dude, could you at least try to be a decent parent? Would it kill you?)

At kindergarten, some of Billy's friends play robot with him, while others don't. He gets in trouble with his teacher for singing loudly all through class.

… This kid's inner monologue actually gets more robotic over time. It's meant to be a game, this little boy playing pretend and acting like a robot, but he's referencing how robots are designed and programmed in ways he shouldn't understand, and it using big words (like "visual processor") that I wouldn't expect out of a kindergartner. Sure, we could assume that he just really, really likes robots and has absorbed a lot of information about them, but he started playing this game last night. He hasn't had time to gain knowledge like this yet, has he?

At dinner, Billy regales his parents by listing off all the contents of his "memory banks," reciting everything he saw throughout the day. His parents are surprised by his memory recall, but don't think much of it.

Billy continues to pretend he's an animatronic the next day. His parents and kindergarten teacher are already fed up with it, and express concern to each other about how long his game will go on. (Which is ridiculous, because it's only been two days. Plenty of kids will quit a game like this within minutes, while others will continue with it for weeks or longer. Kids are just… like that.)

Billy decides he's a much more advanced animatronic, deciding that now he's one that's been designed and programmed to behave like a little boy. He "updates his programming" during the night, and the next day he behaves like an ideal child.

… Most of this story is the inner monologue of a robot child narrating its actions and processing the new information it's given. It's really not particularly interesting for story material.

In grade school, Billy learns that robots need oil. He gets some oil that his dad has in the garage and drinks it, convinced that it's something he needs. It makes both his head and stomach hurt, but he drinks more of it anyway. One day, Billy wakes up extremely sick. His mother ends up taking him to the hospital. The doctor tells Billy that the best oil for him is olive oil.

Billy is unable to keep track of the passage of time. Summer vacation from school and holidays take him by surprise.

Billy overhears a lot of whispered conversations throughout the story.

Billy has pretended to be a robot for four years now. Billy is so devoted to this game of make-believe that he genuinely believes himself to be a robot, and acts as one, carrying out tasks in a simple, joyless manner.

His parents, Dan and Vera, have a fight about Billy's mental state one evening. It's implied that Billy almost died as a toddler, and because of that Vera is willing to accept any oddity of her son's personality, so long as she knows he's nearby and healthy. Dan, on the other hand, expresses that Billy should be institutionalized, and seems to believe that having a potentially special needs child is "hell on earth." (Have I made it clear yet that I find Dan insufferable? Because I do.)

Billy overhears the argument. He has no emotional response at all - as a robot, he doesn't care if his father likes him or not.

Dan blames Billy's behavior on the "Freddy and Friends" cartoon. (Which would have been such an interesting idea! Like if Fazbear's put subliminal messages in their cartoons, and any audience member who picked up on it started behaving robotically, their minds and bodies hijacked. That would have been neat. But this is just a throwaway line that goes nowhere.)

A day later, Billy watches impassively as his father leaves them and his mother cries.

"It is not possible for a thing not to be the thing it is. The thing is the thing."

"Have you ever heard of an animatronic growing before?" "No, I have not heard of a growing animatronic." (Oh, oh! I have! I have!)

More time passes. Billy should now be starting 7th grade, but he decides not to go to school anymore, finding it too restrictive and frustrating. He decides to educate himself by reading books from the library.

Billy has had his mother replace his bed with a steel table, deeming it more suitable for his "recharging" schedule.

(I'm listening to the audiobook, and the narrator is still reading Billy's lines of dialogue in the voice of a little kid, despite him presumably being about 12-ish at this point.)

At this point in his life, Billy thinks he looks more and more like his absent father with each passing day. Meanwhile, he recognizes that his mother looks more and more tired with each passing day, but he doesn't know what to do about this.

Billy has been seeing a therapist the entire time he's been acting as a robot. The therapist clearly hasn't exactly helped him much. Mainly, she seems to encourage his belief that he is a robot, but she also shows him ways to "behave like a human," so as not to scare strangers.

"Animatronics do not efficiently digest color." (Please save this kid from his self-enforced all-white diet!)

Billy is now 18-years-old. If anything, he is even more robotic than he has been before. He refers to his birthdays as "his creation day," as robots are created instead of born. He lives exclusively in the (unfinished) basement of his mother's house, and eschews all personal possessions and effects.

One day, Billy finds his mother dead in the bathroom. It's implied that she tried to overdose herself, but then ultimately drowned in the bathtub.

His mother left a computer file for him to read, instructing him in detail how to "upgrade his programming from an 'animatronic son' to an 'animatronic adult.'" And, because of something his late mother said, Billy can't tell anyone that he's an animatronic. It "goes against his programming."

"In other words, Billy was a robot, but his physical systems were like those of a human."

Now in his early 20s, Billy starts to get the feeling that he's human after all, but obviously that's incorrect; he's been a robot for the past decade and a half of his life, so obviously he can't be human. This leads to him seeking out and finding an unlicensed doctor who is willing to perform illegal surgeries on him, removing Billy's limbs and replacing them with robotic prosthetics.

"As an animatronic, Billy did not experience pain. He did, however, have tactile senses that reported pain-like awareness from time to time. … Billy had not chosen any of these reactions [of bleeding and crying in pain]. He had to assume they were programmed. The blood and tears were not welcome."

Sentence: ends with the word "agony." Me: Oooh, they said one of the secret words!

Again, Billy has his arms and legs removed and replaced with metal prosthetics. He doesn't think he needs physical therapy or any time to heal, as he doesn't believe he's an organic creature. This entire process goes about as well as you might imagine.

Billy starts hanging out on internet forums. He befriends a woman named Maliah who expresses that she isn't happy with her body, a sentiment he shares even though her reasons are different. They talk, and she tells him about her abusive father (Oh! So now that word is appropriate??), her daddy issues, and the abusive men she's dated in the past who picked up on and took advantage of her daddy issues. Billy learns a lot about interpersonal relationships from her.

Maliah flirts with him. Billy doesn't know how to respond.

Maliah talks about not liking her face, and tells Billy that she wants to get a nose job. This gives Billy the idea that, now that his limbs reflective his robotic nature, he could get his face and even other body parts changed as well.

(While Billy and Maliah are talking, Billy tells her he "wants to change his outer self to match his inner self," and otherwise expresses that he wants to change his body to match how he perceives himself. On the whole, Billy gives off very autistic and trans vibes.)

Maliah agrees to meet him in person. She arrives at his house and, strangely, despite his appearance and behavior, they hit it off at first.

"If he kills you, it'll save you money in surgeries. You won't have to try to look good for someone other than a serial killer." (In love with this woman, actually.)

"This was why Billy liked Maliah. She made him think in ways his processors had not thought in before." (… Why is that cute and wholesome? "She makes think differently!" It's weirdly sweet.)

Billy and Maliah start dating. (Not a turn I expected this story to take.) Billy learns that he likes having a girlfriend, and that he likes kissing.

Billy goes back to the unlicensed surgeon, this time to change his face. He has metal plates inserted into his face, making his face look more square and robotic-looking. Maliah is a little concerned about this.

Next, Billy has the whites of his eyes dyed black. He can still see, but now his eyeballs look completely black. Interestingly, Maliah actually likes this modification.

Then Billy decides to have his tongue removed, and a synthesizer placed in his throat. He also decides to have his ears removed. Maliah is decidedly not into these modifications. She doesn't understand these changes Billy is making to himself, and Billy, still acting under his mother's "programming," doesn't tell her that he believes himself to be a robot. Maliah still tries to be a supportive girlfriend to Billy, but it's an obvious struggle for her.

Billy changes his name to "B-7," feeling that that's a better name for an animatronic. This seems to be the final straw for Maliah, as she stops interacting with him at all.

"B-7" goes to admire his new body in a full-length mirror, and it's seeing his reflection that breaks the spell, as it were. He's frightened by his own reflection, and realizes that he's only human after all, not an animatronic, and that his mind and body were never originally built to be an animatronic. He realizes that his pursuit of becoming a robot was doomed from the beginning, and that, in that pursuit, he's also ruined any change he could have ever had of being a normal man.

(Weird that this story is titled for the name Billy calls himself for about 2 paragraphs.)

Billy dresses himself in his father's clothing, then sits and thinks for a few hours. Late that night, Billy leaves the house, shambling into the night. He goes to a junkyard, thinking it's the only place where a freak like him belongs, and he climbs into the backseat of an old car, where he falls asleep.

He's awoken the next day by the sounds and sensations of the car being put into a trash compactor. Understanding what's happening, Billy stays out of sight, eagerly awaiting his own death. Fully human once more, Billy feels himself being crushed, watches himself bleed, and otherwise accepts his own death.

… Really? Really, Andrea? Really?

Okay, listen… Billy/B-7 gives off such strong trans vibes, even though he's not supposed to be. Like, on the surface, he's a human who perceives himself as a robot, and that's fine. But you could read him as an analogy for the feelings and experiences of a transperson - he perceives himself as a different identity than the one he was assigned at birth. I genuinely couldn't tell you how intentional that aspect of his portrayal is.

But, if he's supposed to feel like a trans character… it's extremely frustrating that his choice of identity and lifestyle causes his family to fall apart, and ultimately causes him to off himself!? Especially when there are so many queer and queer-questioning kids in the FNAF fanbase… I don't think they should be presented with a story that really feels like it's trying to portray a trans character who believes themselves to be a freak that's better off dead. Like, whether intentional or not, the text is very much telling any 12-year-old reading this who is questioning their gender identity that they're better off killing themselves, which sucks for obvious reasons.

Also, to me, Billy/B-7 gives off very strong autistic vibes, another thing I'm not sure was intentional or not. He's genuinely a kind and intelligent person, but he lacks knowledge about social etiquette, causing him to come across as weird and awkward and even self-centered at times. He doesn't emote the way others do, and doesn't make facial expressions. He only wears certain kinds of clothes and only eats certain kinds of food (very much like a texture-sensitive person would do), and he gets easily overstimulated by hearing too many noises at once.

And again, we're in the same boat of "is the author/writing team saying that autistic children are too much work to care for? Or that there's no place in our society for autistic adults? Do they know that that's how the text comes across?" Because, again, and I cannot stress this enough, Billy commits voluntary suicide. And not only is that how the story ends, but the text very overtly tells us that his parents would have been better off if he'd died as a child. What kind of message is this sending to the autistic kids (and adults) in the audience?

And I don't mean to dump all the blame on Andrea Waggener. She's just the convenient scapegoat. Even if she's the sole writer on this story, she'd still only be partially responsible for it: the story would have been greenlit by (presumably) Scott or someone else in charge of the FNAF brand, and it would have had to go through multiple people at Scholastic before being published. Multiple people looked at this story as said "yeah, this is fine" and didn't give any thought to the textual implications.

This one just… AGH! I haven't been this angry at one of these stories since "Blackbird!"

Epilogue:

(The audiobook didn't make it clear that this was a different section, and, at first, I was confused about why we were spending so much time with a large group of random teenagers and what they were doing in Billy's story.)

We're introduced to some teens who are having fun (or trying to) at a local carnival in the late evening.

Soooo much teen drama… -rolls eyes-

This new cast of teens decide to go check out the new, half-built Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaplex. The main focal girl, Lucia, has heard rumors that the new building is being built over top of an old Freddy's, one where supposedly crimes took place. The new building is under construction, and the kids are interested in crawling around the unbuilt place.

Too many teens, can't keep track of them all. -_-

Their high school colors are purple and gold. (Which makes sense, those are pretty common high school colors, but given what those colors are generally used for in this franchise, I just found that vaguely amusing.)

This does kind of have a similar vibe to that of Charlie and her friends urban exploring in Freddy's in "the Silver Eyes."

The kids go looking for animatronics, knowing that the Pizzaplex received a shipment of them, despite the building not being finished. They go poking around in the basement, only to accidentally trap themselves. They find the remains of several dead construction workers.

They hear a metallic creak and a hiss. Believing this to be coming from a vent, the kids go looking for the source of the sound, thinking it might lead to a way out. They then hear footsteps approaching, and run to hide, assuming that anything down here isn't something they want to tangle with.

And that's where we leave them: scared and hiding from (presumably) the Mimic.