#also yes this is related to the tear gas post

[totentnz]

wanna make v be part of a group... a group that does Things (rebellion) will tread this path very carefully because it potentially means i will make another 4+ side ocs

[jinxxedmisery]

I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...

I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭

Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.

This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍

🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and

Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:

For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...

I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..

So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.

Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.

The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.

Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.

I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.

If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.

That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 6 Tsumihoroboshi pt. 29

Could you imagine how massively large these posts would be if I spent the money to upload more pictures per post? How unwieldy and unreadable?

Like with Meakashi, Tsumihoroboshi includes a post-game TIP. Unlike Meakashi this one is relevant to the large narrative and isn’t just the summation of the episode or character information for a character who hadn’t existed in the narrative at that point.

What I like about this so far is the ambiguity of when it could be set. There’s nothing really to confirm one way or the other if this is post Tatarigoroshi, or after Rena had taken her class hostage. It’s a fine piece of misdirection.

I seem to recall reading somewhere along the way that there basically already was a concrete quarry in Hinamizawa. I don’t remember if it was in any of the other chapters, or if this was a set up for one of the console arcs, or the manga. I don’t think it matters in relation to this because clearly the concrete swamp is a newer construction to cover up the mysterious goings-on in Hinamizawa. I assure you we’ll find out more about this in Minagoroshi. That said, I don’t really know how concrete works, I know that it hardens over time, and it’s a vaguely liquid substance when its being set, but I don’t think that it’s basically Jello where you just dump a load of it into a liquid and stir. Hell, maybe that’s exactly it, but then again, I’m not sure, my knowledge of construction is limited at best.

I can completely buy the idea that conspiracy nuts on the internet just adopted and love the idea of File No. 34. Early 2000s, little baby internet just awash with a wide assortment of brand new conspiracy theories you’d never heard of? It’d be more surprising if people didn’t buy into the alien conspiracy, especially since it comes paired with a lovely demonic, supernatural element? That’s like all of Coast to Coast AMs Christmases came all at the same time.

Reading this again does make me wonder about the culprit’s motive overall. But I feel that’s a discussion that should probably be saved for Minagoroshi. Also the world of copyright is weird, you can basically describe the entirety of a movie, but the second you mention the name you’re in legal trouble.

I’m choosing to interpret this as there was no additional damage that could be attributed to the volcanic gases. Because if you just leave cars and buildings unattended for twenty years there will be natural wear and tear. Why yes, I do feel like a big man for picking a fight with a translation over a couple of weird phrases.

See, up until the specific mention of Rika dying the same day Rena had taken the school hostage I was firmly convinced this was taking place in the timeline of Tatarigoroshi. Which I suppose in hindsight is probably stupid on my part since it mentions specifically Rena having the scrapbooks and all that. At the time, when reading it it made sense to me, but the revelation that Rika died shortly after the hostage situation took me by surprise.

I knew about the Sarin gas terrorism attack because it was mentioned very briefly in Saw 2. And then I had heard about some Japanese horror film that was about that incident. I don’t remember the name of it, but then again that movie came out nearly twenty years ago or so. Also I don’t know how to explain it that despite the text of the visual novel agreeing with earlier theories of mine that the Great Hinamizawa Disaster was a perpetrated by a cultist, my brain at the time was just dwelling on the notion of the alien explanation. That’s my fault, and I truly wish I had a better explanation for why my brain interpreted it the way that it did.

I don’t know if I agree with the notion that Rena did this to expose the conspiracy. I guess she did, but during the fight with Keiichi she mentions that she doesn’t necessarily believe in the conspiracy any more. Also there isn’t any documents from the trial to gauge one way or the other about whether she actually still believes in the aliens/mind control parasite any more. For all we know, she got over the whole thing and just accepted her actions as a matter of course.

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E40

On the Run

This episode broke me.

I am...

I....

I am a broken creature & my heart has been thoroughly stomped into the ground.

This is....this is the best episode so far....but it's achieved the status of best by absolutely tearing me apart in every way & leaving my emotions as a pile of tear soaked dust.

Okay before we get to that: I have one thing to say....

GARNET HAS MASSIVE AND PLENTIFUL BALLS. Look this post ended up being a lot more personal & emotional than this blog usually has been so I'm giving you a balls joke to balance it out. I have a feeling that there will be more emotional venting if this episode is an indicator of what the rest of the show is like: we're gonna need all the dick & ball jokes we can muster up.

First off: easily the best musical number in the show so far. Yes even better than Pearl's solo number. And I do not say that lightly. That is a tough level to beat. And they did it. Steven & Amethyst take the gold medal for best song so far. 👌

ALSO OH MY GOD THESEE SHOTS THESE COLOURS THIS DJFJFNDIFJW ITS SO FUCKING GOOD????????

WHY DID SO MANY PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE TELL ME THIS SHOW HAS BAD ANIMATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?????? SURE THERES BEEN SOME WONKY DRAWINGS BUT MOST OF IT HAS BEEN VISUAL GOD TIER SHIT LIKE THIS. This episode was actually quite a step up in the animation compared to the previous ones. It's like the animators stepped on the gas here. I love it.

(Hey there uh so Trigger warning for this post just in case bc I do mention the topics of self harm/self hate/passive suic*de & that kinda stuff. So if that's not your thing, I'm really sorry & I understand if you wanna just stop reading here. If this isn't a topic you like to see mentioned at all, I'll just summarize my opinion here real quick & you can click away, I'm happy you're here at all btw thanks for reading this far!! & I want you to know you're valid for feeling this way btw: Don't let anyone tell you different. Anyways tldr I love this episode & how it tackles Amethysts character & it's the best episode so far & it made me cry really really bad & I am more of an emotional mess now than I usually am.)

So getting a bit personal here: I have said many times throughout my life that 'I never asked to be born'. I still think it now.

(Side Note but oh my god the animation in this fight was fucking incredible. Holy shit. And these shots go so fucking hard they COOKED this shit to perfection.)

Ive been depressed & passively suicidal for most of my life. I honestly cannot really recall a time where I didn't feel this way. I'm just kinda used to it by now I guess.

(This shot. This frame right here. This was when I had to pause the episode to calm down from how bad I was crying.)

So to hear Amethyst say the exact same thing that I have said so many times before: That broke me. That just fucking broke me. And like it's not the first time I cried at this show so far: BUT this IS the first time the show genuinely struck an such an extremely difficult & personal chord with me, not just like being sometihng I relate to, but the chord it struck was deep & painful enough that I had to actually pause the episode because of how much I needed to process it. Like I could not pay attention with how bad it made me break. So yeah it's now score 1 for the amount of times this show has fucking utterly destroyed me. Not every show is able to get me to react like THAT. The only other show in recent memory that got that reaction out of me that I can remember at the time of typing this is well, The Owl House. To be fair I haven't watched too too many new shows but yeah. This got me crying badly enough that I had to take a moment to calm down. Wasn't expecting to have that nerve struck like that.

That just hit on a personal chord for me & just....fuck man. I know that feeling. And they nailed how it feels. Amethysts reaction was exactly how it feels for me, just outwardly anger & tears. It hurts. Obviously anger & crying is simplifying it a lot, it's a lot more than just baseline that but you get what I mean. You could tell that she was feeling that exact way. & holy shit the fact that she's been the "comedic relief" of the gems so far & yet she's had easily the most fucked up & sad backstory of the show so far. Yeah if catching me off guard & completely blindsiding me with this was the goal: Goal fucking achieved because that was like a whack to my fucking face with a frying pan.

So....like, is this gonna be a reoccuring thing? I just.....get the feeling that this is a sign that the show absolutely fucking me up emotionally may become a more frequent thing going forward. So like, if that is the case......fuck. I'm so fucked. I am going to be a fucking wreck by the end of this show. This is gonna fucking leave me a sobbing mess, isn't it? What the fuck have I gotten myself into-

I am afraid. Also I am going to need to buy more tissues.

And the scene where Pearl & Amethyst speak in the hole is some of the best writing in any CN show. Ever.

(Also to break up the depressing talk, OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT PEARL IS SO FUCKING TALL THAT SHE HAS TO BEND DOWN AND SIT STANDING UP ON HER TIPPY TOES. THAT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE HER I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT.)

This episode was absolutely perfect.

[megbits]

Starting a new series over at Unsettling. Excerpts from the first post:

The protests after George Floyd are often characterized as rebellions. While they helped popularize calls for abolitionism and forms of restorative justice—ideas that have restoration, repair, and healing at their center—it hasn’t seemed, at least not to me, that these two concepts are paired together very often. We don’t talk about rebellion as related to repair. Did efforts for reparations get a boost, post-rebellion? Yes. Do we yet talk easily about rebellion as a call for repair or for reparations? Not so much. I’m curious about this, and if there is a greater connection between acts of rebellion, which act as a kind of rupture, and the opening up of possibilities for true repair. This flies in the face of how rebellion and protest are often read; popular narratives often see them as nonsensical, attention-seeking enactments of additional harm. My own experience tells me they’re much more than that.

While protests happened worldwide after Floyd’s death, it was here in Seattle that a very particular kind, the Capitol Hill Organized Protest (or CHOP, and at times also known as either the Capitol Hill Occupied Protest or the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone) took place, with calls to defund police—calls that took on a new urgency for many experiencing the impacts of police violence for the first time, as tear gas seeped into local residences. The latter fact is probably why the CHOP holds a more prominent place in popular memory than some other important Seattle occupations—both the Daybreak Star Indian Cultural Center and El Centro de la Raza are longstanding community hubs that were won using the tactic of occupation. These are direct actions that didn’t simply flash and fizzle, but very clearly won actual physical territory, and they’re worth learning more about. Though it’s possible that the effects of the CHOP are still playing out in ways that aren’t so easy to see, as most of us who were involved in Occupy are likely to argue is true for that movement.

But all these examples raise another set of questions: why is occupation so often the tactic of rebellion these days? What is gained by it? And when is it likely to be actually effective, and when is it more likely to fail? Do occupations—which are inherently place-based, necessitating the physical maintenance of a specific location—offer us any better opportunity for place-based healing? Do they increase or lessen the possibility for rebellion to turn to repair?

Sign up for the list at Unsettling to read future posts about my experience in various actions that hold space, and reflect on what has been gained (or not) by many other such actions in a wide array of social movements in recent times. We'll of course do a little breakdown of the notion of 'occupation' as well given that most of us live on occupied land or unceded territory.

[charlie-minion]

Could the same SPN finale make a little more sense with some additions/changes?

I’ve had the idea for this post stuck in my head for days now, but with every new conspiracy theory and every new eventuality in the fandom, it became difficult to cool down enough to write something less ship-related and more narrative-focused.

What Supernatural and non-SPN fans have to understand is that a lot of us have expressed disappointment and frustration after 15x20, not because of Destiel (that’s just one part of the whole problem), but because the finale doesn’t make sense. Everything was leading up to something beautifully crafted until the end of 15x19. Beyond that, it’s hard to understand what happened. The story rendered all the character growth irrelevant, invalidated the themes of free will and “family don’t end in blood”, regressed to the original brother codependency they spent 15 years trying to overcome, made a queer non-binary character in a male vessel and a deaf female character basically disposable, and kept the show’s reputation of queerbaiting and misogyny until its very last breath.

That’s not going out with a bang! At least not a positive one. We all were ready to mourn Supernatural, but we wanted to feel proud of its legacy, and somehow TPTB managed to tarnish that legacy in less than 45 minutes. What a way to ruin the other more than 13,600 minutes of story!

It doesn’t matter who is to blame (The CW, Robert Singer, Andrew Dabb). It doesn’t matter why it happened (homophobia, censorship, marketing for Walker, bad writing). What matters is that at the end of the day, the finale that aired is what we got and that’s going to hurt for a long time. It hurts even more when we realize that the same finale could have easily made more sense, even without being perfect.

That’s what I want to do in this post. I want to show you how things would have been less jarring (for the fandom), while still keeping the goal to please the general audience.

Before I begin rewriting 15x20, I have to mention that I talked to my conservative boomer sister about the finale. She hasn’t watched the second half of season 15 yet (she’s waiting for Netflix to have it), but she’s been watching the show for a long time (she introduced me to it 8 years ago). She’s the perfect example of a viewer from the general audience. Loves the show but doesn’t give a second thought to it and definitely isn’t paying attention to character development or themes. Doesn’t engage with fandom, actors, or any of the show’s social media. Pure GA! When I told her the series finale had aired, she asked me about it and I refused to give her spoilers. Because of that, she told me the ending SHE wanted. She said she would be happy with either of two possibilities: the boys retiring and finally living a normal life OR they going to heaven and finding peace at last. She saw Sam and Dean as a unit, which means: both retiring or both going to heaven. AND she saw Cas as part of that, too. She wasn’t so sure about Jack. And for her, we could use the “Eileen who?” and it wouldn’t be a joke. She didn’t remember her.

NOW IT’S TIME TO WRITE A NEW VERSION OF 15X20 (KEEPING 15X18 AND 15X19 EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY AIRED). This will be a very long post:

The opening remains almost the same. No “Carry on my wayward son” to induce feels. Too soon and too predictable! (Reasoning: Everyone was expecting it to play right there, so it would bring more tears at the end)

In the opening, after the scene where Jack says “People won’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me”, we also see the scene from 15x19 where he says “I won’t be hands on”. Then we see the rest of the opening as it was. (Reasoning: People needed to be reminded that Jack would NOT intervene and that’s why later on, he would NOT save Dean).

We get the same montage, but when Sam takes a break from his morning run, we see him reading a message on his phone. A simple: “Hey Sam, what’s new?” from Eileen. Sam smiles fondly and begins to type a response we don’t get to see. The next scene continues the same, Sam making breakfast. (Reasoning: A text was a very simple way to show that Eileen was alive and still in communication with Sam).

The montage slowly ends as Sam enters the library (not after he sits down). He seems to be talking on the phone but we only hear an “I’ll tell him. Bye”. As he walks towards the table, he tells Dean: “Charlie says hi. Mentioned something about Stevie’s perfect scrambled eggs we have to try.” Dean’s answer is “Awesome!” (Reasoning: Just ONE line was needed to unbury Charlie and her girlfriend. ONE LINE).

Sam sits down, opens his laptop and everything continues the same. The title card shows for the last time.

YOU SEE? In the first 4 minutes they could have acknowledged that THREE WOMEN were alive and safe: Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. It wasn’t hard! Don’t blame bad writing on Covid! Now let’s continue.

Sam and Dean arrive at the Pie Fest just the same. Dean goes to get some “damn pie” and Sam takes out his phone. He dials and when someone picks up, he says “Hey, Jody, how are ya?” We don’t hear the rest of the conversation. The scene moves to Dean coming with his 6 portions of pie. Dean sits down and Sam tells him, “Talked to Jody. The other hunters haven’t had much work lately.” “That’s good, isn’t it?”, Dean says. All we get from Sam is “Yeah.” So, Dean looks at him and asks “what’s wrong?” like it happened in the episode. (Reasoning: Again, a couple of lines to make sure the people that were killed in 15x18 are safe and remembered by the boys in 15x20. Why is this important? Because they’re family!)

The conversation about Sam’s sad face happens the same. Sam is the one that mentions Cas and Jack. (Reasoning: Because this episode was so Sam-centered, it’s obvious he was the protagonist in the finale. If we see him communicating with Eileen, Charlie, and Jody, then it’s NORMAL, even expected of him to be the one to bring up Cas and Jack). Without these additions, it’s harder for people to understand that most of the finale was NOT from Dean’s POV but from Sam’s.

Dean’s “if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing” stays the same. (Reasoning: I believe it’s necessary that the show sticks to the importance of “letting go” and “what is dead should stay dead” for the first time ever because the message is “even when you lose someone you love, you can still find some form of happiness and keep living, for you and for them, because that’s what they would have wanted”. Bringing someone back means “I can’t live without you”, and that’s just more codependency. It’s how the demon deals began in the Winchester family –Mary being the first one to do it. This would explain why Dean didn’t ask Jack to bring Cas back, as he asked Chuck. He understood Jack was NOT going to interfere anymore and accepted it. Besides, when Cas saved Dean from hell, Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. This time that Cas saved him, Dean finally feels worthy enough to accept that YES, HE DESERVED TO BE SAVED ALL ALONG, just as much as he deserved to be loved by that angel of the Lord. In this scene, Dean also says that the pain is not gonna go away, which means that from HIS PERPECTIVE, it still hurts that Cas is not there. The problem is that the finale is not showing his POV but Sam’s.  

Sam pies Dean on the face just the same. (Reasoning: That part was just to avoid ending the scene on a sad note).

Everything related to the case happens exactly the same. (Reasoning: At this point, people don’t really care about the MoTW, they care about Sam and Dean).

NOTE 1: The case is important to show that even when the Winchesters are finally free of Chuck’s influence, they CHOOSE to keep hunting. It isn’t something they do out of revenge or because it is their destiny anymore. Maybe they were forced into the life at first, but they’ve learned to find joy in saving people. Being hunters is who they are. However, the fact that a job application was shown on Dean’s desk is also important because it means he was willing to explore what else was there for him besides hunting. Maybe he could find a balance? Maybe he was thinking it was time to quit? We will never know! The thing is that Sam only finds out about it when he goes into Dean’s room after his brother is dead, so maybe that’s when it hits him that Dean wanted to explore his options, and Sam starts to think it’s time for him to do the same.  

NOTE 2: I believe the masks the vampires are wearing is something we can blame on covid. If they had their faces covered, it was easier to use people from the SPN crew for some scenes, instead of using more actors unnecessarily.

NOTE 3: When Sam and Dean arrive at the barn, we get 3 visuals to remember Cas in the same scene (those are for the fandom, not for the general audience): a) the barn, obviously; b) the bag that resembles Cas’ trenchcoat so much that many people thought that’s what it was; and c) two feathers hanging on Dean’s right when he opens the trunk.

The scene with the throwing star happens the same. (Reasoning: The episode is still told from Sam’s point of view, so it makes sense that he fondly sees his brother as a man child).

Jenny the vampire? Uhhh… I mean, it’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst, so okay. That stays the same. (Reasoning: There is none, but she’s not what really ruined the finale, so whatever!)

Dean still dies impaled on a rebar. (Reasoning: OK. HERE ME OUT!!! I hate as much as everyone else that Dean is killed. I think it’s lazy writing, but that’s what we got and I can’t change that in this re-write, so if killing Dean is what we have to work around, then, memes aside, death by rebar is better and here’s why. There’s no one to blame for Dean’s death: no Chuck (the boys were willingly hunting even after Chuck was defeated), no vampires (they were all killed and were no real threat, so it was impossible for Sam to begin a quest for revenge against all vampires. What was Sam going to blame? A rebar? Can you kill it? Hunt it? NO. It was an ordinary death, a stupid accident. Just like any person can die at any moment by slipping on a banana peel. Is it a good death? No, but it’s good to know he doesn’t die trying to save Sam or Cas, because Dean Winchester is NOT willing to give up his life in exchange for anyone else’s anymore.

Sam takes out his phone and says he’ll call for help, but his phone is more visible to the audience. He dials and it’s almost to his ear when Dean stops him and Sam hesitantly hangs up. (Reasoning: People have complained that Sam didn’t call an ambulance, but actually he tried to. It’s just that people missed that part, maybe?)

After Sam puts his phone back in his pocket and says “OK” to Dean, he adds, “I’ll pray to Jack”. Dean’s immediate answer is: “No hands on, remember?” “But Dean”, Sam says, and Dean interrupts him with “OK listen to me” and tells Sam what to do with the kids they rescued. (Reasoning: Jack is God now and how come Sam didn’t remember? The viewers remembered, so it was necessary to include a line that ruled the option out and that showed Dean didn’t want Jack to intervene. The rest was fine).

The lines “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?” disappear completely from Dean’s monologue. (Reasoning: This is the most problematic part of Dean’s dying speech. He fought God and earned free will, he is no longer controlled by fate or destiny. Accepting that he is supposed to die on a hunt regresses his character development and denies his desire to keep living. This was a total mistake and should be removed).

Instead, if going to heaven is the ending TPTB wanted to give Dean, at least he should say something more empowering. Sam tells him that both of them are going to take the kids somewhere safe. Dean answers and the scene follows like this: “No. Sammy, we made our choice, didn’t we?”, he smiles with difficulty. “We were free to write our own story and we did. We decided to keep saving people, hunting things. Because it’s what we love despite the risks.” (Reasoning: If Dean’s going to die it doesn’t have to feel like it was always meant to be that way. He should die knowing that he exerted his free will until his last breath).

The rest of the dialogue between Sam and Dean happens almost the same. Except that instead of Dean saying “‘cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me”, he says “’cause when it all came down to it, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Always.” And instead of Sam saying “Don’t leave me”, he says “I still can try to save you.” (Reasoning: It sounds way less codependent without diminishing the importance of their love and support for each other).

Besides, let’s change Dean’s “I’m not leaving you” for “You don’t have to be alone. You’ve still got family.” The rest stays the same word by word. (Reasoning: Dean reminds Sam that “family don’t end in blood” and there are still lots of people out there who love Sam and will be with him).

“I love you so much, my baby brother” stays exactly the same. (Reasoning: Dean always had trouble to express the big L word. I always believed and said many times that before Dean could say “I love you” to Cas or any other character, he had to say it to Sam. So, this is important as part of Dean speaking his truth).

The last part when Dean insists Sam tell him that it’s okay stays the same. (Reasoning: It’s the final moment when the codependency cycle breaks. No more running in circles).

The forehead touch between them stays the same. (Reasoning: I think I would do something similar if my sister were dying. I know there are w*ncest shippers out there, but it shouldn’t matter because the moment feels appropriate for that kind of goodbye). 

See? There are changes but not too many. That’s why I’ve been saying that it was easier to get it right, yet they still managed to screw it up.

The second montage stays the same. (Reasoning: Life goes on, but of course Sam has to mourn).

The call about a case in Austin remains the same. (Reasoning: It’s the only part of the episode where someone from the found family is mentioned, so I think that Donna’s name is perfect in that moment. However, without the other additions I’ve made in this re-write, that off-hand mention feels too little. Its purpose was to tell the viewers that if Donna was alive, so were the others, but the way the episode was executed gave us an isolated Sam, incapable of having friends and a family without Dean).  

After 30 minutes of Sam’s POV, let’s finally see the last bit of Dean’s POV that we’ll ever get.

Dean arrives in Heaven and Bobby receives him. All their conversation stays almost the same, except that after mentioning Rufus and before saying “and your mom and dad…”, Bobby adds an “Ellen and Jo let me borrow their place”. (Reasoning: If you’re gonna put the man outside the Harvelle’s place, at least mention them for Jack’s sake!).

Besides, after Bobby tells Dean that Sam will be along and that time in heaven is different, Dean gives a small smile and says, “Well, there’s no rush. I want him to have a long, happy life.” Bobby answers with: “I would expect nothing less from you, boy” and tells him he got everything he could ever want, etc., just like it happened in the episode, and finishes by asking “What are you gonna do now, Dean?” (Reasoning: It’s important we know for sure that Dean is NOT codependent anymore and that he doesn’t expect to have a miserable afterlife just because his brother is not there yet).

Instead of saying “I think I’ll go for a drive” Dean says, “I think I know what I want” and walks towards baby. Bobby still tells him to have fun. (Reasoning: “Know what I want” is ambiguous enough to help us introduce the last piece of the puzzle, the one thing Dean’s wanted for many seasons and has never been able to express).

 The biggest change is coming:

Dean gets on the Impala and has a moment of silence while he contemplates the wheel. He begins to pray: “Hey, Cas, you got your ears on? I hear you’ve been busy working on this updated Heaven with Jack. You were right about him, Cas. You had faith in him and he saved us all. You could always see the best in everyone, even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Even when I couldn’t see it myself. There’s so much I want to tell you. Maybe you can visit sometime. I hope prayer’s still a thing up here.” (Reasoning: Dean’s side of the confession was unaddressed and that was terrible writing. If there was no way to get him to speak his truth textually, at least take him as close to it as possible).

We listen to a flutter of wings and a “Hello, Dean” from the back seat. We don’t see Cas, but the camera shows us Dean’s cocky smile and he says “Took you long enough.” He turns around slowly. End of scene. (Reasoning: The flutter of wings confirms that angels have their wings back and ties that loose end. The final “hello, Dean” was highly anticipated and it made sense. If Misha couldn’t be there to film, for whatever reason, or if the problem was the kind of conversation Dean and Cas would have, then don’t show it, but leave the door open. Let us know that the two characters were reunited and will talk, but whatever Dean has to say is so private that it’s not for us to hear, only for Cas.  

We finally hear “Carry on my wayward son” and get a montage that begins with Sam playing with his kid. Then we see Dean driving, super happy, and Sam living his life to the fullest. We still get Sam’s Blurry Wife, BUT… we see pictures of Eileen in the living room (not just of John, Mary, Sam, and Dean). We also see photos of Jody, Donna, Charlie, and AU!Bobby. (Reasoning: FAMILY DON’T END IN BLOOD).

The scene where Sam is wearing the party wig and looks miserable inside the Impala is cut and nobody talks about it ever again because it never existed. We get a scene of Sam teaching his son how to fix the car instead. (Reasoning: First of all, don’t give Sam a life where years later he’s still in pain. Second of all, the fucking wig was a crime).

Sam’s dying scene stays the same. The only thing is that his son signs a couple of phrases to him before actually speaking. (Reasoning: More confirmation that Dean Jr. is Eileen’s son).

We hear the final “Evanescence-like Carry on my wayward son”. Again we see the photos and there’s family other than the Winchesters there. (Reasoning: Obvious at this point).

The rest is exactly the same. The show began with two brothers and it’s okay if the last scene is with the two brothers reunited in Heaven. At this point, the other parts of the story are acceptable enough for us to feel happy that they get to see each other again after years of a happy (after)life.

Now look me in the eye and tell me this was too hard to execute. I still think that bad writing is a thing we can’t deny here, adding to the possible meddling of the Network. Maybe Dabb wanted us to hate the finale because he couldn’t get away with what he truly wanted. If that was his intention, then kudos to him. He and The CW really gave us a finale that only 30% of the fandom liked.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this and it helps to give you some peace of mind. In my heart, this was the finale we got. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t drop the ball either.

[sinnabonka]

It’s spec time: Empty spaces

I want to use this opportunity to talk about every possible ending I saw out there and, using my natural talent of seeing the worst in the best, explore the reasons why each has no sense (except The One, of course).

for my other specs click 

That’ll be a long trip, hon, make yourself comfortable.

15x20: possible endings

Cas is not coming back

Cas is coming back, but Dean keeps it friendly (friendzone much?)

Cas comes back in another vessel

Cas comes back and the whole “sharing the vessel” thingy

Cas comes back, where a) we get a full Destiel endgame and b) “Hello, Dean”, cut to black, an open ending free for interpretation

Now, starting from the top.

Cas is not coming back

What’s wrong with this one? 

Oh boy, where should I even start? I have a whole “Love Always Wins” on it, but to sum up, there’s no reason for Cas not to be back except if there’s someone hating him / hating Misha / hating us on the crew.

He has been to Empty, came back twice. He’s not even the only one jumping in and out, so the finality of this death is very...weak, vague? 

The whole season is Destiel centered (bite me, antis), the arc of their relationship is the foundation, it’s also mirrored in other relationships through the season - Sam and Eileen, Charlie and Stevie (also, Stevie? Gas-n-Sip Steve anyone?), Earth and humanity. Separated, but reunited. 

Only Dean has an emptiness waiting to be filled.

The whole ep19 is screaming about this void.

Just look:

(and metaphorical emptiness, as well)

I mean -

Empty is The Big Bad this season. Why?

Does that look like anything Chuck-related to anyone? No? Didn’t think so.

And following the metaphor, to defeat the empty, you should fill it up with someone something. 

Cas is coming back, but Dean keeps it friendly, brotherly

Dean Winchester is the most repressed son of a bitch the sun ever shone on, but it’s clear as a day, that the walls are crushing. The whole “I want to experience things for the first time”, the longing in his looks at Garth and his wife dancing. 

He didn’t want to bother Sam when Mrs B went nuts, because he wanted Sam to have a nice evening with Eileen, he wanted his brother to have one thing Dean himself thought he could never have - a chance. To love, to be loved, not to be alone anymore. We always wish others what we would want for ourselves.

And here enters the lamp with a steel chair.

We can joke all we want, but lets once again look at our parallels: Sam and Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. All of them “let the guard down”, allowed themselves to love. “The best eggs in her life”, anyone? This post lives in my head rent free, I had to get rid of 2k words in French I knew to make a place.

So, I think we agree on this once, as well - not gonna happen.

Cas comes back in another vessel

To fight this argument, my friend, we will have to think about our good ol’ pal Jimmy Novak. And his little daughter, Claire. And the way things ended up for them, because Castiel took over his body. Remember how brokenhearted Cas was, when Jimmy was gone? Remember how he said that ruining Jimmy’s family and his life was the biggest regret of his life?

Yeah, see, I can’t imagine any situation where this end justifies the means.

Not for Castiel, for sure. So, that’s a strong no, too.  

Cas comes back and they are “sharing the vessel”

In the blue corner we have Castiel, who’d hate to take over another body. In the red one, we have Dean, who had the whole “Michael, we had a deal” fiasco, all the drowning inside his own head, being powerless and not his own man for some time. And Dean even has voiced his fears to Cas, so they both are clear on his feeling about this “experience”.

Throw into it the whole narrative of the season (of the show?) centered around the free will, about being able to make their own choices.

Add some more salt with narrative of “We are real”, and multiple times one character had to “wake up” another one for them to be back to reality.

I mean, what’d be different?

This time Dean’d be stuck in between the Dream World where he has a life with Cas and the Aching Reality without him? How cruel is that?

The ending of the show is about a new chapter, a fresh start, not about never finishing the last page of the book you love so much just to keep the story running, even if only inside your head.

I personally would be very disappointed and hurt with this outcome.

So, the only one left is...

Cas is coming back and Dean reciprocates

I don’t know how, I don’t know when, I don’t know if we even get to see him or it is just “Hello, Dean” and cut to black, and we only get the close shot of Dean’s widening eyes and tears gleaming in them once he recognizes the voice.

Of course I’m clowning for the whole cycle, for Dean speaking his truth, loud and clear, for everyone to hear (especially antis with their “brotherly love”).

Of course I’m clowning for him pulling Cas in a hug and muttering “You stupid son of a bitch, don’t you dare leaving me again like this. Ever!”.

I’m the biggest clown alive, honk honk.

Will I be disappointed with the “Hello, Dean” ending? Yes, I will. It’s bittersweet, we’ve clowned for too long to get just that. 

We deserve good things happening to them and to us, too, we deserve certainty.

We deserve the happy end, for a change.

[mojave-pete]

Not one person has been charged with possessing or using a gun inside the Capitol. Further, no one even has been identified as carrying a gun inside the building.

Since the Justice Department launched its nationwide manhunt to track down and arrest anyone involved with the Capitol breach on January 6, hundreds of perpetrators have been arrested.

Most face misdemeanor charges for trespassing or disorderly conduct, but dozens are in jail and denied bond for the thoughtcrime of believing the 2020 presidential election wasn’t on the up-and-up. The acting U.S. attorney general overseeing the investigation promises to apprehend hundreds more, however, it’s been two weeks since authorities have arrested anyone in connection to the probe.

Almost as embarrassing as the bad behavior of a handful of Trump supporters that day is the conduct of the national news media and Washington lawmakers. The country has been subjected to a public group therapy session of sorts wherein grown adults—Republicans and Democrats alike, elected to defend the country at all costs—now recount their harrowing experiences on January 6, which include running away from no one in particular or insisting, without evidence, that they were on the verge of being “murdered.”

The media continue to promote any number of fabricated storylines intended to bolster the laughable narrative of an “insurrection” occurring at the Capitol. The concocted account of the death of Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick recently fell apart; the New York Times, after pressure from outlets including American Greatness, effectively retracted its January 8 article claiming Sicknick was killed by a fire extinguisher at the hands of Trump “loyalists.”

So now it’s time to straighten out another twisted tale animating the folklore of January 6: The idea the random chaos amounted to an “armed insurrection.” Hundreds of crazed Trumpists carrying deadly weapons, the public believes, stormed the Capitol to injure or kill senators, representatives, and even Vice President Mike Pence in order to avenge a “stolen” election.

Most news outlets—as they did with the coverage of Sicknick’s death—unflinchingly repeat the “armed insurrection” trope, which can be traced back to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s January 7 press conference. “[Y[esterday, the President of the United States incited an armed insurrection against America, the gleeful desecration of the US Capitol…and the violence targeting Congress are horrors that will forever stay in our nation’s history,” Pelosi ranted.

But like everything else that exits the mouth of the Speaker of the House, her description isn’t only flat wrong but also manufactured for wicked political purposes.

When a thinking person hears the word “armed,” he usually thinks of a firearm, or a gun. Yet here is how the Justice Department describes the trove of deadly weapons seen at the Capitol that day: “During the course of the violent protests, several violent protestors were armed with weapons including bats, pepper spray, sticks, zip ties, as well as bulletproof vests and anti-tear gas masks.” (The zip ties, it’s important to note, weren’t brought into the building by Trumpists but by law enforcement officials.)

I reviewed the charges filed against the more than 200 people arrested for criminal misconduct related to January 6 and found only 14 defendants face any sort of weapons charge. Offenses vary; indictments range from possession of a “deadly” weapon on “restricted” grounds to assaulting a police officer.

But so far, just two people have been charged with unlawful possession of a firearm—and there’s no proof either man “breached” the Capitol let alone threatened lawmakers as part of a coordinated, armed insurrection.

Lonnie Coffman, 70, was indicted by a D.C. grand jury on January 11 with 17 firearms violations. Around 1 p.m. on January 6, Capitol Police, according to charging documents, noticed what appeared to be a gun on the front seat of a pickup truck parked near the Capitol. Cops searched the vehicle and found a handgun, a rifle, loaded magazines, and mason jars filled with material they believed were components to make Molotov cocktails. When Coffman arrived near his vehicle at around 6:30 p.m., he was questioned by police; they discovered two small handguns in his pockets.

Federal authorities threw the book at Coffman, a veteran with no criminal record.

But although he’s been charged with more than a dozen violations of D.C.’s strict gun possession laws, Coffman has not been charged with using his guns, ammunition, or the alleged Molotov cocktails. Further, it’s worth noting that aside from the two pistols found on his person, the other contraband was locked in his truck as the “insurrection” occurred.

The FBI isn’t finished with Coffman yet; agents raided his remote Alabama home on January 26. He’s currently being held in a D.C. jail without bail.

Christopher Alberts was arrested near the Capitol the evening of January 6 after police found a 9 mm handgun and ammunition in his possession. The Maryland resident has been charged with one count of unlawful possession of a firearm on Capitol grounds or building, one count of carrying a pistol without a license, one count of possession of ammunition, and one count of trespassing.

Again, although Alberts was detained near the Capitol, prosecutors do not allege he entered the building or attempted to use his weapon on January 6.

Here is a roundup of the non-firearm “dangerous and deadly” weapons charges:

Zachary Alam, nicknamed “Helmet Boy,” is charged with assaulting an officer with a deadly weapon although it’s unclear if the weapon used was the helmet he found on the ground or his body. (Documents allege Alam “pushed his body up against one of the Capitol Police officers guarding the door.”) Alam was near Ashli Babbitt when she was shot and killed by a still-unidentified police officer.

Richard Barnett, the man pictured behind Pelosi’s desk, faces two charges of unlawfully possessing a “dangerous or deadly weapon,” which, according to prosecutors, was a “ZAP Hike N Strike 950,000 Volt Stun Gun Walking Stick” he carried with him on January 6. He did not use it.

Scott Fairlamb faces a 12-count indictment including assaulting an officer and “entering and remaining in a restricted building or grounds with a deadly or dangerous weapon.” Fairlamb had a small collapsible baton; it’s unclear whether he entered the Capitol at any time.

Robert Gieswien, found with a baseball bat and pepper spray, is charged with “assaulting, resisting, or impeding certain officers using a dangerous weapon.”

Alex Harkrider and Ryan Nichols are being charged together; they face 13 counts, including four related to possession or use of “deadly or dangerous” weapons. Nichols is accused of using pepper spray on an officer—he allegedly sprayed the irritant on a crowd which included officers attempting to secure the building—and carrying a crowbar into the Capitol. Harkrider is charged with illegally possessing an axe on government property. Investigators gleaned most of their evidence from posts on the defendants’ social media accounts.

Emanuel Jackson is charged with striking police officers outside the Capitol with a baseball bat.

Edward Lamb, according to charging documents, “swung, thrusted, and/or jabbed the [baseball] bat at law enforcement officers multiple times” outside the Capitol. He faces 11 counts including three related to use of a deadly weapon.

Patrick McCaughey was directly behind Officer Daniel Hodges when he was crushed in a doorway by the mob. McCaughey faces three weapon-related charges; the weapon was a police riot shield he found on the scene.

Matthew Miller is charged with using a deadly weapon—a fire extinguisher—outside the Capitol. Miller allegedly sprayed the contents toward officers.

Jordan Mink is accused of using a “deadly weapon,” a baseball bat, on “unrestricted” grounds. (Mink is photographed smashing in a window.) In denying bond, a federal magistrate stated that January 6 was “a horrendous crime against our democracy that Mr. Mink not only participated in, but was a very active and violent participant.”

Robert Sanford, initially believed to be the suspect who injured Sicknick, is charged with throwing a fire extinguisher and striking three officers. (Investigators said the object “appeared” to be a fire extinguisher.) The retired Pennsylvania fireman also is being held without bond.

So, as Joe Biden likes to say, let’s be clear: Not one person has been charged with possessing or using a gun inside the Capitol. Further, no one has been identified as carrying a gun inside the building. Of the hundreds of photographs posted on the FBIs Most Wanted List for the Capitol breach investigation, not a single picture shows anyone with a firearm.

Only one defendant had a handgun on his person outside the building hours after the “insurrection” ended. The other defendant had two guns on his person but investigators don’t allege he was inside the Capitol on January 6.

At least 100,000 attended Trump’s speech that day; fewer than 1,000 “stormed” the Capitol. A few hundred have been arrested and only 14 face weapons charges. Those “deadly and dangerous” weapons include two baseball bats, a can of pepper spray, a walking stick/stun gun, an axe, a few fire extinguishers (one in question), a helmet, a riot shield, and a collapsible baton. And at no time did this random weaponry pose a lethal threat to lawmakers inside the Capitol.

Do the idiots who used any sort of weapon to harm an officer or damage property deserve to pay for their stupid and violent actions? Yes.

Was January 6, 2021 an “armed insurrection” or anything close?

No.

Another hoax is being built to take out Trump voters!

[c-is-for-circinate]

I’m not good at violence.

I think I used to be.  I was raised to it; I’m a white woman, and I grew up with privilege and with trauma, and none of that makes me special but it does mean I have the capacity to cause harm to others.  I know violence.  I hate seeing it in other people.  I hate seeing it in myself.

And here is a fact: the violence coming from protestors and rioters right now is justified.  The violence happening right now has every chance of being effective.  This post is a really excellent breakdown of riots, both as an effective means of driving social change, and a valid and justified expression of the well-deserved rage of a community.  I support the anger and the violence that is happening right now.

But.  But I freeze, when I’m around it, when I see it directed at people around me, when I’m asked to be a part of it.  I’ve spent so many years trying to stop myself from lashing out that now it cuts the legs right out from under me.  Whether it’s the physical violence of a riot just down the block from my living room windows, or the verbal violence of one friend eviscerating another for daring to be worried about a brother and friends on the police force--I can’t do it.  I can’t help wanting to defuse it.  I can’t help freezing and wanting to run away.

Is it privilege, that I get to say no to violence in this case?  Yes, yes it absolutely is.  Everybody should have that privilege.  That’s the point of all of this in the first place.  And if I used that privilege to just sit down and hide from all of this, and do nothing, and say nothing, except “I’m not good at violence so I’m excused,” well--would that be as evil as all the sins that started this in the first place?  Of course not.  But it wouldn’t be good, either.

So the question is, what can I do?  If now is the time when decent people are called upon to act, what action can I take that will actually help?  Is there a place, in this moment of history that seems to be crying out for a violent response, to be non-violent and still help?

Of course there is.  There always is.  Not because nonviolence is the True, Correct Way (fuck that, sometimes violence is called for, and this is one of them), but because it is always most effective to go after a goal with a multi-pronged approach.  It’s not about how I turn myself into a sword.  It’s about figuring out what other skills I can bring to bear, and using them effectively.

For me, my number one skill, the thing I make my bread and butter on, the thing I can do right now is: I can talk.

I can talk to the people in charge.  I have government representatives on so many levels. Yes, I can write to my senator, to my House of Representatives congressperson, to my state governor--but I can also think small.  My city runs on its city council.  The representative for my district has an office half a mile from my apartment; I go in there a couple of times a year for parking passes.  He’s not a scary, distant stranger.  I can email him.  And once I’ve done that, if I move on to emailing the mayor, the county commissioner, the state legislature, and up and up and on up the chain, that’s great--but starting local is easy, and in so many ways, it’s the most important thing to do right now.  The woman in Washington is trying to save the whole country, but the man in the community garden down the block has the power to do something about rubber bullets and tear gas right now.

I can talk to the people who disagree.  I can talk to them with patience, and kindness, and understanding that other activists may not have the time or emotional wherewithal for.  My mom wants everybody to be safe and happy, and only sees riots as violence and danger.  My friend loves her brother, the cop, and refuses to go along with any absolutist anti-police rhetoric.  They are both (as all humans are) wrong about some things and right about others.  They’re wrong about whether these riots should happen, but they’re not wrong to be scared.  Ultimately, maybe they don’t matter--maybe they deserve to be denounced and shouted at, maybe they deserve violence--but I love them, and I’d rather have them for allies than enemies.  I can embrace patience.  I can validate their fears and the truths they know, and share with them the truths that I know: that the world is very scary right now, and that’s why demanding reform is so important.  That police officers aren’t fundamentally evil, they’re human, but humans can cause harm even by inaction, even by good intentions.  That riots and absolutism are violence.  That sometimes, violence should happen.

I can talk to the people who don’t know what’s going on.  I am a teacher.  Even now, in the middle of a quarantine, teaching composition and trigonometry over Zoom in one-on-one tutoring sessions with kids still wearing pyjamas, I’m a teacher.  And my students are young, and confused, and scared, because they don’t know what’s right or wrong but they know that the world is angry.  I can listen to them.  I can be calm, and gentle, and protect them from my own cynicism, because loading young children down with the whole weight of the world is violence, and it most hurts those who can’t fight back.  I can help them work through the things they don’t understand.

I can talk to other people in my same position.  I can write this post.  I can talk to my students and my mom and my other friends, who want to support black communities and protesters and the course of social justice.  I can remind people who hate and fear violence that some violence is necessary, and I can help them find ways to contribute if they are as bad at it as I am.  I can help steer them away from lashing out in fear and confusion at the very protesters and victims and social justice warriors they want to help.  I can patch them up and help them get working again, when the broadsword of “ZERO TOLERANCE” and “IF YOU’RE NOT WITH US, YOU’RE AGAINST US” accidentally catches them on the backswing.

Of course, not everybody’s a talker!  And talking, like violence, isn’t ever the one-size-fits-all solution to an entire problem either.  You may have to think through your own skills to find a good way to contribute, but there are a few additional things that I know I can also do, and they may be a good start:

I can provide literal, physical support.  Maybe this means donating money to bail funds and other BLM-related nonprofits.  Maybe this means getting masks and bottled water for protesters well before the protest starts.  Maybe it means setting up a space in the courtyard of my apartment building where protesters can seek safety if things go very bad two blocks away again.  Monetary donations are the most visible and obvious way we’ve been asked to contribute nonviolently, and they are important.  We can all watch an ad-supported donating YouTube stream.

I can help the people caught in the crossfire.  Whatever reason or justification these riots have, the accompanying looting is actively harming small black- and minority-owned businesses, including those in my neighborhood.  I can help sweep glass and board up windows.  I can bring coffee and doughnuts and ask my neighbors what they need to get back up on their feet.  I can help clean up the aftermath.

I can remember.  This is, as they always say, a marathon, not a sprint.  In a few weeks or a few months the active, visible, national news parts of this will be over, but the problems won’t be.  Some things may get fixed.  Some things won’t.  What do I do then?  Do I keep writing letters to my local representatives?  Do I go to community association meetings and community policing events, and ask awkward questions, and request accountability and reform in polite, measured, nonviolent, implacable, unrelenting ways when the time for outrage and shouting is over?  Do I look for the quiet, boring, nonviolent, tedious things that need to be done to help solve the problems of economic disparity that brought this about in the long run?  Now might not be the time for quiet, polite, and tedious--but it will come again.  There is always quiet, tedious work to be done, when the news crews and protesters go away.  I can make sure not to forget that.

[i-do-a-little-drawing]

Ok. Several playlist.

Warning: VERY long post (longest I’ve ever done)

Some of these are very loosely related and I didn’t actively search for songs I just went off what I already listen to.

Also: if anyone asks me I will make a Spotify playlist containing any/all of these, or a yt playlist whatever works (don’t know how to make yt playlists but I’ll figure it out(?))

Begin.

General:

- Cabinet Man [Lemon Demon]

- Oh No! [MARINA] *It’s pretty much perfect in every way

- Numbers [Neil Cicierega]

- Radio Ga Ga [Queen]

- Once In a Lifetime [Talking Heads]

- Mr Backwards [Jack Stauber]

- Everybody Wants To Rule The World [Tears For Fears]

- I Earn My Life [Lemon Demon]

- The Machine [Lemon Demon] *please i beg you listen to this song

- One Weird Tip [Neil Cicierega]

Big shot days + working w mike:

- The Other Side [The Greatest Showman]

- On Top Of The World [Imagine Dragons]

- Never Enough [The Greatest Showman]

- Mr. Jones [Counting Crows]

- A Million Dreams [The Greatest Showman]

- The Man [The Killers]

- Leroy [Wheatus]

- I Wanna Be Famous [Chris Allen Hess]

- I’m Still Standing [Elton John]

- Glitz At The Ritz [Jules Gaia]

- Everybody Wants To Rule The World [Tears For Fears]

- Don’t Stop Me Now [Queen]

- Dancing With Myself [Billy Idol]

- Biggering [The Lorax]

- Applause [Lady Gaga]

- Vegas Lights [Panic! At The Disco]

- I Earn My Life [Lemon Demon]

Fall/ing from grace + angst:

- Roaring 20s [Panic! At The Disco]

- Primadonna [MARINA]

- Nothing [GHOST PIRATES]

- Never Thought [Mel Bryant & the Mercy Makers]

- Never Enough (reprise) [The Greatest Showman]

- My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars [Mitski]

- Look At Me I’m Sandra Dee (reprise) [Olivia Newton-John]

- Iris [The Goo Goo Dolls]

- Impossible Year [Panic! At The Disco] *me when 1998 😔

- Harbour [Eleanor McEvoy]

- Grace Kelly [MIKA] *him trying whatever he can to not lose face despite everything going wrong

- The First Step [Will Wood and the Tapeworms]

- Everybody Wants To Rule The World [Tears For Fears]

- Disorder [Joy Division]

- Dancing With Myself [Billy Idol]

- Confrontation [Anthony Warlow]*listen. The first half is very yes. The second half is tailored exclusively to Jekyll & Hyde.

- Choice [Jack Stauber]

- Burning Pile [Mother Mother]

- Baby Hotline [Jack Stauber]

- Ain’t It Fun [Paramore]

- Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)[Fall Out Boy]

- Video Killed The Radio Star [The Buggles]

- Up [Worthikids] *loose, but sings about a sudden fall from grace and is also just a fun bop

- Unwell [Matchbox 20]

- Trade Mistakes [Panic! At The Disco]

- This is Gospel [Panic! At The Disco]

- Emotional Vagrant [The Scary Jokes]

- You’re At The Party [Lemon Demon]

- Able [Jack Stauber]

Crazy ass/NEO:

- Mr Backwards [Jack Stauber]

- Kitchen Without Gun [YouSeeKenny]

- Iris [The Goo Goo Dolls]

- I Am Damaged [Heathers]*I think, I’ve never seen it so ignore the context lol

- Flash Delirium [MGMT] *The chaotic nature of the song and metaphorical themes just fit, yknow?

- Everybody Wants To Rule The World [Tears For Fears]

- Dream Sweet in Sea Major [Miracle Musical] *the first part especially, plus the lines:

“It feels like flying

But maybe we're dying”

and

“One light

Higher than the sun

Invisible to some

Until it's time”

- Don’t Stop Me Now [Queen]*idk, there’s NEO battle themes in here somewhere

- Don’t Hold It Against Us [Skyfixing] *yeah it’s kind of loose

- Change The Formality [Infected Mushroom]

- Biggering [The Lorax]

- The Machine [Lemon Demon]

- There’s A Platypus Controlling Me [Phineas and Ferb]

- Able [Jack Stauber]

Addison related:

- At Least I’m Not As Sad (as I used to be) [Fun]

- Scumbag [Greenday]

- Que Sera [Justice crew]

- Look At Me I’m Sandra Dee (reprise) [Olivia Newton-John]

- Just One Day [2winz2]*ok hear me out. This but switched and it’s spamton wanting a life away from the other addisons and them attempting to help him see reason but after his interruptions and personal attacks they rightfully leave him and he still revels in the “freedom” even as his life spirals downwards, yes it’s a stretch but trust me dude

- From Now On [The Greatest Showman]

- Unwell [Matchbox 20]

- Unable [Jordaan Mason]

- Emotional Vagrant [The Scary Jokes]

- Avril [Neil Cicierega]

Fuck sex:

- Oh Honey [Beau Dega]

- Hey Mickey [Bella Heart]

- Closer [Nine Inch Nails] *listen. I know it’s low hanging fruit. But the religious themes within the song plus all of the ‘whatever’s wrong with him gives me a boner’-esque sentiments I’ve seen , it fits.

- We Came To Smash [Martin Solveig, DEV] *yeah it’s loose

- Troublemaker [Olly Murs, Flo Rida]

Torture for fun:

- Nothing [GHOST PIRATES]

- My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars [Mitski]

- Dissolve [Absofacto]

- Bodybag [chloe moriondo]*take or leave the romantic lines, but ‘I wanna keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages’ was too good not to go on this list.

Care him + 💞+ recovery from what he is now ig?:

- Fix You [Coldplay]

- Pure Gold [half⚫️alive]

- Paris [The Chainsmokers]

- On Top Of The World [Imagine Dragons]

- Mr. Jones [Counting Crows]

- Million Bucks [Smallpools]

- Life’s A Happy Song [Mickey Rooney] *idk it’s from one of the muppets movies I think plus ignore the bridge it doesn’t fit

- I’m Still Standing [Elton John]

- Harbour [Eleanor McEvoy]

- Geyser [Mitski]

- From Now On [The Greatest Showman]

- Float On [Modest Mouse]

- Dog Days Are Over [Florence + The Machine]*him finally finding happiness after everything……………. A-

- Daylily [Movements]*see above

- Cynicism [Nana Grizol]

- Crushed Out on Soda Beach [The Scary Jokes]

- Chasing Cars [Snow Patrol]

- Call in Sick [Radiation Puppy]

- Wow, I’m Not Crazy [AJR]

- Avril [Neil Cicierega]

Honourable mentions but just too loose:

- The Business of Emotion [Big Data, White Sea]

- Your Love Is My Drug (8 bit slowed)[just valery]

- Wonderwall [Oasis] *i could’ve put it in big and angst but I just don’t really like the song idk

- Sad [Lemon Demon]

- Intermission [Panic! At The Disco]

- Northern Downpour [Panic! At The Disco]

- I Was Made For Loving You / Please Don’t Say You Love Me [Gardiner Sisters, Kina Grannis]

- Sick Puppy [Lemon Demon]

- Good Luck Chasing Your Mind [Jack Stauber]

- Ain’t Nothin Like A Funky Meme [Pluffaduff]*it’s a good chaotic song already, plus the samples used give a giant vibe but that’s all the thinking I can do

- Alanis [Neil Cicierega] *ignoring the romantic aspects, this gives a ‘yelling at mike’ vibe plus the ad segments add to the vibe, but it’s too fucking funny to put in the angst section

Yes they’re loose. But.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

So, this is a drabble I’ve been sitting on for a little while, mostly because I wrote it while in a “mood” and thus it’s kind of personal. However, I do still like it and want to share it.

It does involve Erron Black and Cassie Cage from “Mortal Kombat,” so if you’re familiar with them then kudos, I suppose. If not, then it’s no a big deal. You don’t need to know all about them to understand what’s going on in this drabble. 

I didn’t tag this writing with anything Mortal Kombat related because it’s kind of...bashing BlackCage (Erron Black x Cassie Cage) and doesn’t paint Cassie Cage in the best light. I don’t want the drama and bullshit that could result so I am keeping the MK tags far away from this drabble.

Now, this fic DOES involve Arkham Knight Riddler, so it’s a crossover, and I am 100% ok with tagging him and Scarecrow (Yes, he’s in it, too, sort of). Neither of them are portrayed in a way that would piss people off. 

Now, the fic is very personal to me and technically it’s a self-insert, but I refrained from using my real name or my alias, and has just referred to myself with pronouns. Why? Because I’m kind of shy and weird like that. Plus, it’s super personal and emotional to me, this drabble, and I just don’t feel comfortable directly attaching my name -- or even my alias -- to it right now.

This isn’t on AO3 for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, and I am honestly ok with any feedback on this, be it positive or negative. Seriously, if you have thoughts, then share. If you happen to be a BlackCage fan and/or Cassie Cage then feel free to send me hate -- no anon hate, though, as I have turned off anonymous asks.

I will warn you now, the drabble deals with self-esteem issues, and the ending, if you are familiar with Scarecrow (and if you’re reading this, I sure hope you are), the ending is kind of.....dark. Nothing actually happens but it is heavily implied someone is in for a traumatizing time.

Volunteer

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she said, sounding as defeated and drained as she looked. “I tried my best yet I still only managed to be in the friend zone. He said it’s not that I’m not good enough, but that he had liked her for a while and she finally said ‘yes’ to going out with him so…”

“What does this girl look like?” Edward asked, displeased with the situation.

“Hang on.”

Edward had to admit he wasn’t shocked by this news. From the start, he knew Erron Black was that type of guy, one of those dim-witted pretty boys who had no sense or reason. However, Edward didn’t say anything to her as she was an adult and could make decisions on her own -- even if they were the wrong ones. Besides, she was so smitten by Erron that Edward suspected she wouldn’t have listened to or believed his warnings anyway.

She searched on her phone and found the (infamous) girl’s Instagram profile and then handed it to Edward. Looking through Cassie Cage’s photos, frowning, shaking his head, he found himself unimpressed. This was the woman that got Erron’s attention? Honestly? She was a spoiled, bratty, self-centered blonde with the IQ of a donut! 

Clearly.

Although, seeing as how Erron’s IQ was clearly no higher than that of Cassie Cage, Edward figured birds of a feather flocked together...one dodo for another.

“Ugh, I’ve seen enough,” Edward said, handing her back her phone. “She’s a social media brat who has fluff for brains and probably uses her looks to get what she wants. There’s no way she’s actually an intelligent, fascinating person. Anyone who takes that many ridiculous selfies is, without a doubt, an idiot.”

Edward noticed she didn’t appear to be relieved by his words, so he quickly thought of something else to add, hoping it would provide some sort of window to clarity that she desperately needed for this situation.

“So, this Cassie fits society’s shallow and pointless standards of beauty,” Edward said. “She’s an absolute bore, I tell you! She’s got a pretty face and an attitude, probably only is successful because she’s relied on her parents for everything.”

She still looked upset, and maybe even more so.

Ok, Edward, think! thought the criminal genius, chewing on his lower lip as his anxiousness grew. There’s got to be a way to get this through to her. This is a waste of her time!

“I mean...I wouldn’t want to spend time with her,” Edward said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’d probably lose my mind after listening to whatever pointless drivel would inevitably spill forth from her mouth. As for her looks, well, let’s be realistic here: they won’t last, and then what? She’ll be stranded with her own deflated ego and nowhere to go.”

Edward could tell that she was nearly crying now much to his dismay, and she kept her head down to hide the tears gathering under her lashes. This was absurd, he thought. Why did she feel so hurt by a guy who was a complete moron and a girl who looked like every other blonde girl out there? It was a waste of time, energy, thought, and emotion to dwell on such people. Why couldn’t she see that?

“I understand what you said,” she said, sniffling. “I agree with a lot of it but...it still hurts, maybe more so now that I realize how much of a bimbo Cassie is. And Erron chose her? I’m not blonde...is that what he wants?” She gripped her phone tightly. “Do I need to start acting like an obnoxious brat, taking selfies and posting them online for attention?” The grip was now threatening to crack the protective outer case of the phone. “I did all I could to be a good friend to him, was there for him, listened to him, treated him well….and yet, I’m still not good enough to earn his...his love? He waited a long time for Cassie...well, I’ve waited even longer to stop being rejected because I’m not good enough!”

Not wanting her to injure herself, he reached out and placed a hand over hers, watching her fingers loosen around her phone.

“I don’t feel good enough,” she said softly, finally crying. “I’ve never been good enough. I don’t know why...I don’t know...I try and I try but it’s never enough...”

Edward watched her sob quietly to herself, unsure of what to do but his internal panic was growing worse. This wasn’t exactly his area of expertise, and he still thought she was wasting energy on two idiots. However, there was nothing he could do about that, not right now, not when she was still overwhelmed by emotion.

So, he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling a little awkward doing it but it was all he could think of at the time.

“It’s going to be alright,” Edward told her. “I promise.”

A few weeks later….

Edward was typing away at his computer as she sat at a table nearby working on one of her custom dolls. With her headphones on, she drowned out the world around her, entirely focused on painting the face of the doll. Because of this, she didn’t notice him get up from his chair to “greet” the ignorant Neanderthal standing outside under the security camera mounted on top of the main door.

Edward opened the door to see a worried Erron Black standing outside.

“What do you want?” Edward asked in an exasperated tone. 

“Have you heard from her?” Erron asked. “She hasn’t responded to my texts or calls, and it’s really botherin’ me. I wanna know if she’s a’right.”

Edward crossed his arms, sighing in annoyance.

“Yes, I have seen her and spoken to her,” Edward said. “And it’s her right to ignore you if she chooses to.”

“I...I know that but…” Erron rubbed the back of his neck. “I...I want to speak to her...there’s somethin’ I got to say. I...I just...I need to see her and talk to her, face to face.”

“Haven’t you done enough?” Edward demanded. “No, you can’t speak to her. You’ve done enough damage to her psychological state with your puny, insignificant brain.”

Erron looked taken aback but said nothing as guilt consumed him further. As much as he hated Edward’s callous words, the cowboy wasn’t in the mood to pick a fight.

“Now, run along, Little Cowboy,” Edward said. “Go back to your vapid Selfie Queen where you belong.”

With that, Edward closed the door in Erron’s face, smirking triumphantly. Why that idiot thought he could just walk on back with his tail between his legs and beg for forgiveness, Edward had no idea. Then again the other man was too selfish to realize the error of his ways, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise he tried that.

As Edward made his way back to his computer, he suddenly got an idea; a beautiful, incredible, ingenious, devious idea. Taking his phone out of his pants pocket, he searched for and dialed the number he had in mind for this situation.

“Hello, Crane,” Edward said, smiling wickedly to himself.

“Ah, Edward,” said Jonathan, who was fully expecting to be hit with Edward’s ego. “I am surprised to hear from you. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’ve got something, or rather someone for you.”

“Oh?”

“You said you were working on a new variation of that fear toxin of yours, am I correct?”

“Yes, and it’s nearly ready. Perhaps just another day more and it will be finished.”

“Great! Then I have a candidate you can test it on.”

“Oh, yes, do tell. I am always looking for ‘volunteers,’ as you know.”

Edward gave Erron’s name and description to Jonathan, his smile turning into a malicious grin as he did so. As much as Edward wanted to teach the dumb cowboy a lesson himself, he also thought it wasn’t worth the effort and Scarecrow loved having ‘volunteers’ for his silly little gas...

“I will have my men apprehend him right away,” said Jonathan.

“Just don’t leave any permanent damage,” Edward said. “Otherwise...have at it.”

“I would never do such a terrible thing,” Jonathan said, chuckling darkly. “I take good care of all of my ‘volunteers.’”

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Before I go, may I ask why you are recommending this man to me? Is he one of your henchmen? Did he steal from you? Fail to complete a job?”

Now this caught Edward off guard. How was he going to explain this? He couldn’t even fully explain his feelings about this -- about her -- to himself. Yet, he didn’t want to deny Jonathan an answer, either. It was a perfectly valid, logical, albeit nosey question.

“This man, he…” Edward began, his words catching in his throat for a moment. “He, um...he...damaged something...something very valuable to me. And...and as much as I want to discipline him myself, he is too far beneath me for me to waste any of my precious time dealing with him further.”

“Ah, I see,” said Jonathan. “I must be going now, but thank you, Edward. You are too generous.”

With that, Edward hung up and made his way over to her, lightly tapping her shoulder. Turning around, she smiled up at him and removed her headphones.

“Hi, Eddie,” she said. “Did you need something?”

“No, no,” he said with a charming smile. “I just wanted to get a closer look at what you’re working on. It looks impressive so far.”

“Really?” she looked delighted, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. “It’s not done yet but...thank you! You have given me a little confidence boost.”

“And you deserve it,” Edward said, patting her shoulder. “I look forward to the final result.”

Back at his desk, Edward continued working on code for upgrades to the Riddlerbots, humming to himself contentedly. Maybe what he did was a bit much, but the cowboy needed to be put in his place. Men like Erron -- people like Erron -- always did. Besides, she would forget about the fool in time. Edward was certain of this because that was the nature of things: you forget about what no longer has any meaning or purpose in your life, and seeing as how she wasn’t at all interested in conversing with Erron anymore...well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the conclusion.

“Just dance,” she sang softly to herself. “Gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm...”

Edward nodded to himself upon hearing her, smiling.

Yes, it’s going to be ok, My Dear, he thought. It’s all going to be ok…

-----------------

And that’s the drabble....Now, think of this: Riddler could fuck Erron Black up. I mean, he has a goddamn robot army. And Riddler is a criminal genius -- well, even without the “criminal” part, he’s still a genius. Erron is....he’s not. No offense but he’s not. 

In this drabble, Eddie is aware of all of this, but -- and this is where the self-insert part comes in so forgive me -- he does have strong feels for myself (which sounds weird but, like I said, this is a self-insert type of thing and I self-ship with this Riddler so......), as I’m the only friend he’s got (only friend he’s probably ever had, really). So, he’s very protective. 

I can see Arkham Knight Riddler being this way if he actually cared for someone. They’d be special to him for a lot of reasons and he wouldn’t want them to be hurt. He’d be devastated because he cares for them, they care for him...it’s the last the he’d want, for them to be hurt in any way.

And we know Riddler isn’t above getting revenge, and this is personal. 

Yes, I know Batman pissing him off and humiliating him over and over is personal, but I think this sort of situation would be even heavier for AK Riddler for the reasons I already mentioned. 

Some idiot dared to make his one and only friend, the only person who has been both kind and respectful towards him despite his flaws, feel awful about themselves and for no good fucking reason? 

A guy who reminds Eddie of the bullies he had to deal with growing up (I do think AK Riddler was bullied growing up -- it seems to be implied, and with how poor his social skills are, I think he would have sadly been a target for bullies in school)? 

A guy who is so beneath both Eddie and his dear friend, that said guy doesn’t deserve to walk away from this without paying a price?

But Edward isn’t a master of mental torture like Scarecrow is, and we know Scarecrow’s fear toxin makes people hallucinate terrible, terrifying things, including their worst fears and possibly any traumas they have endured in life. Erron Black didn’t have the best childhood based on his intros with other MK characters. It seems like he grew up in an abusive household, has trouble being open with anyone, has trouble forming serious relationships, chases cheap thrills over and over like he’s filling some sort of void....

Something tells me Erron wouldn’t have a good time under the influencer of Scarecrow’s toxin, and while Eddie doesn’t know about Erron’s unpleasant childhood, he...also doesn’t and wouldn’t care because, AGAIN, of the reasons I have already mentioned. In Eddie’s mind, he’s getting revenge for his only friend, the only person he actually cares for, and he’s getting it in a very fucked up kind of way. 

Phew...that was a real fucking ramble. I apologize but I have a lot of feelings about this drabble and its subject matter.....

And let’s be fucking REAL, Bitches: Erron should be glad we’re dealing with Arkhamverse Riddler and not Telltale Riddler. If it were Telltale Riddler.....omfg Erron would probably beg for the fear toxin.

Because Telltale Riddler doesn’t fuck around. 

[uncloseted]

my mom keeps badgering me about the capital event bc i really hated it but i support the blm protests and she says it’s hypocritical of me bc the protests were just as “violent” as the capital and “caused lots of deaths”. i never really have anything to say back to justify what went down, do you have any info i could use to explain myself? i know they were for completely different causes and one actually matters, but i don’t know how to justify the “violence” (i personally don’t think a majority of them were violent, all the ones where i lived were routinely peaceful and i think the extreme ones were sensationalized for the news). anyway sorry if it’s dumb i’m 14 and just trying to get into politics and stuff so i’m not super well informed and just trying to learn.

I’m sorry this has taken me a few days to get to.  What happened at the Capitol is complicated, and I want to make sure I give you as full of an answer as possible.  I also want to just quickly say that it’s awesome you’re getting involved in politics at such a young age and trying to help your parents understand these issues.  I would love to answer any questions you have about politics or social issues (or just kind of anything in general, I’m not picky).  Last thing and then I’ll get into the meat of this post- I’m a huge supporter of the BLM and police abolition movements and was a protestor over the summer, so I’m maybe a little bit biased.  This situation makes me really angry on a personal level, but I’ll try to stick to just the facts as much as possible in this post and let you know when I’m showing my own opinions.

So the first thing I want to talk about is language.  The Black Lives Matter protests were protests- a public expression of objection, disapproval or dissent towards a political idea or action, usually with the intention of influencing government policy.  In the US, protesting is a constitutional right protected by the First Amendment.  The storming of the Capitol was not a protest, and it wasn’t intended to be.  It was planned several weeks in advance with the explicit intention of disrupting the counting of Electoral College ballots.  Their stated goal was to overturn Donald Trump’s defeat in the presidential election, an election that is widely considered to be the freest, fairest, and safest election in US history (ironically, in part due to Trump’s insistence that there was voter fraud in the 2016 election).  Storming a public building is not a form of protest protected by the US Constitution.  Further, an attempt to overturn a democratic election is an attempt to carry out a coup.  The Capitol rioters will likely be charged with sedition (conduct that incites rebellion against the established order) and/or insurrection (a violent uprising against an authority or government).  The Black Lives Matter protestors were not attempting to carry out a coup against the US government, and none have been charged with offenses as big as those.

Next, I want to touch on motivation.  The Black Lives Matter protesters were protesting against police brutality towards minorities, particularly Black people.  There has long been a documented history of police misconduct and fatal use of force by law enforcement officers against Black people in the US.  Many protests in the past have been a response to police violence, including the 1965 Watts riots, the 1992 Los Angeles riots, and the 2014 and 2015 Black Lives Matter protests in response to the murders of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Freddie Gray.  By contrast, the Capitol rioters were not motivated by fact.  They were called to action by the President of the United States, Donald Trump.  They were told that the election had been “stolen” from Trump, and were encouraged to march over to the Capitol to “take back our country”.  The idea that the election was stolen from the president is demonstrably false.  They weren’t motivated by a social issue, a concern for their own lives, facts, or even really principle.  “Our president wants us here...we wait to take orders from our president,” was what motivated them. The affiliations of those rioters are varied, but many of them are affiliated with either the far-right, anti-government Boogaloo Boys, the explicitly neofascist Proud Boys, the self-proclaimed militia The Oath Keepers, or the far-right militia group Three Percenters.  Many are also on the record as being QAnon followers (followers of a disproven far-right conspiracy that started off as a 4chan troll, which states that an anonymous government official, “Q”, is providing information about a cabal of Satan-worshiping, cannibalistic pedophiles in the Democratic party who are running a child sex trafficking ring and plotting against Trump.  Yes, really).

The intentions of BLM were largely peaceful.  BLM protest documents encouraged protesters to be peaceful even in the face of police violence, because the BLM protesters knew what the price of being violent would be.  We were encouraged not to bring weapons or anything that could be misconstrued as a weapon.  Even non-violent protests were met with tear gas, rubber bullets, and riot gear.  A reported 96.3% of 7,305 BLM protests were entirely peaceful (no injuries, no property damage).  The 292 “violent incidents” in question were mainly the toppling of statues of “colonial figures, slave owners, and Confederate leaders”.  There were also several instances of right wing, paramilitary style militia movements discharging firearms into crowds of protesters, and 136 confirmed incidences of right-wing participation at the protests (including members of the aforementioned Boogaloo Boys, Three Percenters, Oath Keepers, and Proud Boys).  It was also rumored that off-duty police were inciting violence (although to my knowledge, that is unconfirmed).  There is no evidence that “antifa” (a decentralized, left-wing, anti-racist and anti-fascist group) played a role in instigating the protests or violence, or even that they had a significant role in the protests at all.  People who were involved in crimes were not ideologically organized, and were largely opportunists taking advantage of the chaos for personal gain.  

By contrast, the “Storm the Capitol” documents were largely violent; messages like, “pack a crowbar,” and “does anyone know if the windows on the second floor are reinforced” were common on far-right social media platforms.  One message on 8kun (formerly 8chan, a website linked to white supremacy, neo-Nazism, the alt-right, etc) stated, "you can go to Washington on Jan 6 and help storm the Capitol....As many Patriots as can be. We will storm the government buildings, kill cops, kill security guards, kill federal employees and agents, and demand a recount."  The speakers at the Trump rally encouraged attendees to see themselves as foot soldiers fighting to save the country, and to be ready to “bleed for freedom”.  The Capitol rioters were mostly armed; rioters were reportedly seen firing pepper spray at police officers, and pipe bombs, molotov cocktails, and guns (including illegal assault rifles) were found on the protesters. One protester was filmed saying, “believe me, we are well armed if we need to be.”  Some protesters arrived in paramilitary regalia, including camo and Kevlar vests.

I quickly want to touch on scale.  The George Floyd BLM protests are thought to be the largest protests in US history, with between 15 and 26 million (largely young, sometimes children, minority) people attending a protest in over 2000 cities in 60 countries.  There were around 14,000 arrests, most being low-level offenses such as violating curfews or blocking roadways. 19 deaths have been reported, largely at the hands of police.  Only one death is known to have been a law enforcement officer.  The number of people who stormed the Capitol is still somewhat unclear, but it seems to be between 2,000 and 8,000 (largely older white, cis, straight, Christian men) people.  80+ people have been arrested for federal crimes, including 25+ who are being charged with domestic terrorism (something nobody associated with BLM is being accused of).  There have been five deaths reported.  One was a police officer, and the other four were rioters.  Of those deaths, one was a police related shooting (a female Air Force veteran).  The other three died of unrelated medical emergencies.  One reportedly had a history of high blood pressure and suffered a heart attack from the excitement.  

Now I want to look at government response.  During the BLM protests, there was a huge response from law enforcement.  200 cities imposed curfews, 30 states and Washington DC activated over 96,000 National Guard, State Guard, 82nd Airborne, and 3rd Infantry Regiment service members.  The deployment was the largest military operation other than war in US history, and it was in response to protests concerning, in part, the militarization of police forces.  The police were outfitted in riot gear.  They used physical force against BLM protesters, including batons, tear gas, pepper spray, and rubber bullets, “often without warning or seemingly unprovoked,” per the New York Times.  Anecdotally, everyone I know now knows how to neutralize pepper spray, treat rubber bullet wounds, build shields out of household items, how to prevent cellphones from being tracked, and how to confuse facial recognition technology to prevent being identified (as six men connected to the Ferguson protests mysteriously turned up dead afterwards, and the police were using cellphone tracking technology).  Amnesty International issued a press release calling for police to end excessive militarized response to the protests.  There were 66 incidents of vehicles being driven into crowds of protesters, 7 of which explicitly involved police officers, the rest of which were by far-right groups.  Over 20 people were partially blinded after being struck with police projectiles.  When the BLM protests were happening, Trump said that, “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.”

In contrast, the response to the Capitol protesters was relatively tame, especially given that the US Capitol’s last breach was over 200 years ago (when British troops set fire to the building during the war of 1812) and the rioters weren’t being shy about their aspirations to conduct an armed insurrection incited by the sitting president.  There was (widely available, able to be found through a Google search, everyone saw it) prior intelligence that far-right, extremist groups were planning on (violently) Storming the Capitol on January 6th, with the intention of interrupting the Electoral College ballot counting and holding lawmakers hostage.  However, the US Capitol Police insisted that a National Guard presence would not be necessary for the protests, and Pentagon officials reportedly restricted DC guard troop from being deployed except as a measure of last resort, and restricted them from receiving ammunition or riot gear.  They were instructed to engage with rioters only in self-defense, and were banned from using surveillance equipment.  Despite prior knowledge of the “protests”, Capitol Police staffing levels mirrored that of a normal day, and no riot control equipment was prepared.  The Capitol Police weren’t in paramilitary gear the way they were for the BLM protests.  The mob walked in to the Capitol with little resistance.  Some scaled walls, some broke down barricades, some smashed windows, and one video even seems to show Capitol Police opening a gate for the mob. Rioters traipsed around the Capitol (one of the most important government buildings in the country) with little resistance, looting and vandalizing offices of Congress members.  Some rioters felt safe enough to give their names to media outlets, livestream their exploits, and take selfies with police officers.  One man was (ironically) carrying a Confederate flag, a symbol of a secession attempt on the part of the South (and of racism). It took 50 minutes for FBI tactical teams to arrive at the scene, and the National Guard were initially directed by Trump not to intervene.  Pence later overturned that ruling and approved the National Guard.  Police used finally used riot gear, shields, smoke grenades, and batons to retake control of the Capitol, but notably no tear gas or rubber bullets.  Video showed rioters being escorted away without handcuffs.  Trump’s response to the riot was, "we love you. You're very special ... but you have to go home." 

This is where I’m going to get a little editorial, but I think it’s important to say.  If the people storming the Capitol Building were Black, they would have been met with a large, pre-coordinated military presence, violent restraint, arrests, and quite possibly would have been shot.  They wouldn’t have made it inside the Capitol, much less been given free rein to wander around without immediate consequence. Hundreds of people during the George Floyd protests were arrested for just being present- 127 protesters were arrested for violating curfew on June 2nd in Detroit alone, twice the number of arrests made during the storming of the US Capitol.  It turns out that the police do know how to use restraint, after all.  What an absolute shock.  It’s almost like they’re a corrupt and racist institution we should get rid off...

The last big thing I want to talk about is the outcome.  The BLM protests were meaningful, but the outcome from them has been tame.  Nobody has been accused of domestic terrorism. State and local governments evaluated their police department policies and made some changes, like banning chokeholds, partially defunding some departments, and passing regulations that departments must recruit in part from the communities they patrol.  Only one city, Minneapolis, pledged to dismantle their police force.  The response has largely been localized.  I think the biggest impact it’s had is introducing people to the concept of police abolition and getting more people involved in the movement.  By contrast, the Capitol riots have resulted in over 25 people being accused of domestic terrorism and the second attempt to impeach Donald Trump, something that has never happened before in the history of the US.  

But what really concerns me is the precedent this sets.  Donald Trump is an idiot, and he’s gotten this far.  We can’t count on the guy who takes his place to be an idiot, too.  The next guy could be clever, strategic, well-spoken, well-mannered... not to invoke Godwin’s law here, but people liked Hitler.  He was a persuasive speaker and capitalized on conspiracy theories about World War 1 to gain support.  His 1923 attempt to overthrow the Bavarian government failed, but sympathy for his aims grew.  He painted himself as a good, moral man who loved dogs and children and was trying to do right by his country (by, among other things, arresting communists and leftists, and then eventually all minorities).  Trump isn’t Hitler.  He’s not even a Hitler analogue.  But Trump has already done this much damage to the fabric of our society.  He’s worn down our relationship with the media, with one another, with democracy, with morality, and with truth itself.  We have to be prepared for the idea that the next guy might be a much better politician.  Getting rid of Trump isn’t the end; it’s the beginning of a fight against fascism that’s only going to grow from here.

There are other differences you could point to.  BLM protesters wore masks to prevent the spread of COVID (and indeed, researchers have reported that the protests did not drive an increase in virus transmission), for example, while the rioters were largely unmasked.  But I think the bottom line is that the millions of BLM protesters were doing their best to be responsible citizens fighting peacefully for an evidence-based, human rights cause, even though they knew that as a primarily minority group of people, they would be met with violence.  The thousands of far-right, white, Capitol insurrectionists were doing their best to overturn a free, fair, safe, and democratic election because of a call to action by Trump and a stringent belief in disproven conspiracy theories, which they knew would be met with minimal resistance despite the severity of their actions.  The insurrectionists are fascists, full stop, and we should call them what they are.  The BLM protesters were by and large just people, of all different political views and motivations, who wanted to fight against something they saw as unjust.  

I’m sorry that this is such a long post. This topic has been on my mind all week, and I wanted to give it the nuance it deserves.  All we can do from here is to keep fighting- for justice, for truth, and, hopefully, for peace.

[haec-est-fides]

Tower of Nero Reactions

Tower of Nero absolutely wrecked me, exactly as I knew it would, but I can now say -- without a doubt -- that Trials of Apollo is my favorite Riordan series by far. It feels like a fitting ending in many ways, a capstone to an amazing journey that started back in 2005 (not that I’ve been around quite that long, lol).

Anyway, below the cut are some of my thoughts on this last book. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement, and I am still very much processing. (Also, I will keep tagging Tower of Nero spoilers until the end of November, just fyi.)

I don’t even know where to begin. This is going to be a long post...

I’ll start with the good news: ✨💜✨💛✨NERO✨💛✨💜✨

Not even kidding, I will never shut up about Nero. Trust me, if you told past me, at the very beginning of ToA, that in 2020 I’d be stanning Nero, I wouldn’t have believed you. Nevertheless, here I am.

Obligatory shout out to Pajama Nero, the moment I knew there was no going back 💜

I actually high key appreciate how the Triumvirate’s power was handled. I assumed as much at the end of Tyrant’s Tomb, but for Commodus and Caligula’s power to consolidate in Nero was perfect.

I’m trying not to scream about Nero, I promise. He’s just? God tier. Literally. 💛

The ultimatum? Throwing a party while NY burns? Even Dionysus said Nero has panache. His interior decorating and architectural sense? Impeccable. 💜

Ngl, Luguselwa betraying Nero had me VERY nervous until he completely called them out. His entire monologue? “I’m afraid your hands have offended me.” ??? 😳

Let’s be honest: every throne room scene killed me. Every line Nero had killed me. Why is he Like That?

How Nero made himself a metaphorical Kronos? Poetic cinema.

FaceTime Nero TM

The Sassanid gas was an absolute Power Move just btw

THE IMPERIAL HOUSEHOLD 💛

Nero and his fucking Purple Sofa TM

THE REMOTES !!! Dumb tech boiiiiiii 💜

When Lucius stabbed Apollo? So fucking proud of him. Next time, hit something vital, sweetheart. 🗡

You don’t know how hard I laughed when Apollo shot Nero directly in the face and Nero just glared at him and yelled “stop that!”

The Bee Gees TM

WHEN NERO CATCHES NICO’S SWORD WITH ONE HAND ?

HE BLEEDS ICHOR. ACTUAL, GOLDEN ICHOR.

WHEN HE BACKHANDS NICO ACROSS THE ROOM !

WHEN IT SEEMS AS IF HE PUSHES THE RIGHT BUTTON AND EVERYTHING IS OVER ?

Perfect Moments Do Exist 💜💛💜💛💜💛

Ofc, Will and Co. had to show up and ruin everything. Nero Panics TM and he is such a Baby TM ???

His fasces tho,,, ✨

HE GLOWS ? SHINY RADIANT SUN BOI ? ✨☀️✨ Commodus who? Caligula who? Nero said fuck Will Solace rights. How dare anyone outshine him in his own throne room? 💛

I should say something other than “Nero is a god” huh,,,

Making Nero tear apart his own fasces? I’d noticed that Riordan included the fact that Nero committed suicide in the glossary since book 1, and,,,yeah I was scared something like this would happen. Not this. This was worse.

His death scene? Oh my gods, I was a complete mess. How dare Apollo revoke Nero’s divinity? How dare Nero be burnt by his own divine power? How dare his last moments be spent sobbing, terrified? How dare Python literally drag Nero’s essence to Delphi and absorb it? *on the verge of tears*

I’m not going to get super into this rn, because it’s complicated and I’ll start crying again, but Python being the evil behind it all? The snake playing his own game, using both Apollo and the emperors as pawns? Whatever horrific power he had over the Triumvirate, and over Nero specifically? Nero taking it upon himself (for selfish, terrible reasons, yes) to step in and make sure that Python didn’t destroy humanity? When Nero, even with all his power, was fucking terrified of Python? I-

In Other News

I’ll be nice. Good for everyone who got their happy ending. I think Apollo’s “check-ins” were written fairly well. I think his personal feelings regarding being a god again were handled well in relation to his story arc.

How Apollo addresses the reader in closing? Oof.

Me @ Nico, Will, and Rachel specifically: Never Talk To Me Or My Romans Ever Again

Oh btw, I Am So Tired Of Hearing The Name Jason Grace. We get it. He’s a hero. Pls shut up.

What hurt the most, I think, is the way Triumvirate Holdings / the Imperial Household was handled. I knew it wouldn’t be done well. It still hurts.

We get some throwaway lines about Meg maybe inheriting the tower, CHB getting the Greek fire, the Germani being “regular people” but like,,, No?

Triumvirate Holdings is the largest, most influential company on the planet. Nero directly mentions the issue this poses: “You can’t destroy bank accounts with a bow and arrows.” All of that? Just? What? Isn’t a big deal?

I refuse to believe the Germani are just peachy integrating into society.

I refuse to believe the Imperial children are just peachy potting cacti in Palm Springs.

^ All of this will get its own post, because I’ve written posts about it before that I should follow up on. I’m just Bitter.

When Dionysus said “it appears some of us do get happy endings” I Felt that.

I suppose that’s the general overview. I’ll start posting my trash memes soon and work on like,,,real posts. This is also an open invitation to come yell at me btw!

[pigeon-princess]

!!! Did you play any more of the Tybalt campaign? What happened, how are things between him and Evris rn??? If you wouldn't mind sharing that is... I've somehow gotten very invested in the love life of your green boy ^^'

YES!! We’ve played two more sessions and OH my god wow a LOT has happened!! I’ll try and summarise but I know this is going to be a big info dump!! And just in case (tw: sexual assault) due to some of the events in the last session. 

Tybalt and Evris continued: Princes and Prejudice 

So what we know about Evris is that his mother Elrynn, who is a drow woman, married a halfling bard named Yir. Despite Yir’s family’s disapproval, the two were passionately in love and had two children and although Evris was a child from Elrynn’s previous marriage he was loved and raised just the same. Elrynn’s past was also never discussed in the family home. 

We heard from Evris that a few weeks prior, a noble-looking drow man he had never seen before arrived at their home, talked with his mother, handed her an amulet and left. This same amulet was the one that the Lamia was looking for and the reason why Evris’s family was attacked so we decided our best lead was to track down this mysterious drow. Our wizard Merlin overheard that the mysterious visitor's name was Andras and that he was from Ered Wethrin, the neighbouring country. 

In order to cross the border we had to make our way over a mountain range known as The Trespassers. The trip across the mountains was rough to say the least, after narrowly missing some giant spiders, we ended up falling unconscious due to some sort of toxic gas and woke up, naked, tied to a log and being roasted over a fire pit by some hill giants. After a WILD combat and two dead hill giants later, we decided to camp out in the caves for the night.

Evris pulled Tybalt aside for a talk and Tybalt apologised for his behaviour the last time they spoke. Evris said that although he was not sorry for what he said, he’s sorry that he didn’t know the effect that it would have on Tybalt. 

The situation with Evris’s not sleeping (he was taking points of exhaustion) was also brought up and Evris admitted that he was scared that if he fell asleep he wouldn't wake up again or that he would see this entity that brought him back to life and that scared him. He doesn’t know what it means to be a cleric and everything was just too much, with his family dead, missing or turned to stone. When he started tearing up, Tybalt pulled him into a hug which startled him, but he accepted it before pulling back quickly. 

Later on in the evening while on watch with our monk Yarou, Evris confessed a very traumatic event from his backstory, about how he was once in love with a boy called Fenton, and how one day Fenton and a group of his friends sexually assaulted him. The whole table listened in shocked silence, aND I WAS HAVING A FIT that myself as a player knew this but Tybalt did not, and how I had been constantly getting in Evris’s personal space. Yarou also told Evris that it seemed like Tybalt was interested in him (I WAS LIKE AAA YAROU!!??) and was probably harmless but if he did anything to hurt Evris, Yarou would stop him. But Evris assured him that he was well aware and familiar with Tybalt's type (the overly flirty playboy) and could handle himself (OUGH MY HEART,,, I promise he’s not using you Evris).  

During our watch, we were ambushed by the Knights of the Radiance, the military power of Ered Wethrin. We were knocked out by poison darts and we all woke up in a cell, chained to the wall while the guards were interrogating Evris in the next cell over, asking him about a smuggling group. 

After we saw one of the guards was attempting to sexually assault Evris our whole party went into an angry frenzy. Tybalt almost broke the bars down trying to get out of the cell, only managing to bend them heavily while our rogue managed to pick the lock to the door. We had a bit of a scuffle, tackling the guards until Evris announced that he was the son of Elrynn and he demanded to speak with Andras, the guards immediately froze. BUT hearing the name Elrynn they suddenly agreed?? and took us through a teleportation circle to the capital city A'latariel. 

All feeling very apprehensive, we were led into A CASTLE?! Where we met with Andras who turned out to be both a prince of Ered Wethrin and Evris’s birth father?!?! So it looks like Elrynn was married to the prince!! And ran away with her halfling bard lover!!! So Evris is technically a prince??? And in line for the throne?? It was all a lot for us to take in, especially for Evris, so we stayed in a very expensive inn, ordered a huge amount of food and alcohol and put it on daddy Andras’s tab. We had a very lively conversation about how many nuns it would take to defeat 1 stone giant, and Evris being the giant expert drunkenly calculated that perhaps 1000 arcane nuns would be an adequate number. 

In the meantime since we’ve been in Ered Wethrin none of us trust Prince Andras and we’re learning more about the real truth behind that amulet, we’ve also just learnt of an underground resistance group that we’re trying to get in contact with. Tybalt has been helping Evris attempt to send messages to his missing family members through sending spells. Because of this, they ended up having a heart to heart conversation while sharing a room in the inn, bonding over the shared prejudice they’ve faced for being a drow and a half orc in places where they are looked down upon unfavourably. Evris shared his personal backstory trauma relating to his sexual assault and Tybalt actually shared his as well for the first time in his life (The other players did not hear this either, but if people would like to hear Tybalt’s backstory I can to put the details in a separate under the cut post!) 

In the next session I have been putting together a plan to surprise Evris with a “Lady and the Tramp” style outdoor dinner date by the ocean, with the help our our party and our new half orc friends being the butlers. Despite Evris’s previous assumptions about Tybalt, after their talk I’m hoping that he’ll think of this dinner as a sincere romantic gesture but if not I hope it's at least an entertaining distraction for him considering all the stress he’s been going through. 

And that's a very brief description of what's happened since last time!! This romance is so slow-burn but I’m enjoying every minute of it. I definitely focused this recount around Evris and Tybalt but a lot has happened with the other players in the party as well! I hope you enjoyed the update and if people have any further questions I’m more than happy to answer!

[potteresque-ire]

On the Hong Kong Protests

2019-08-17

I rarely talk about myself here, but I’m a Hong Konger, born and raised. I moved to the US a long time ago, but the city will always be my home. 

I’ve been following the news there closely these two months. I haven’t slept well. I’m perpetually stressed. I’m both sad and happy, both frightful and hopeful.

Sad and frightful because of what the protests have come to. The violence, the sheer rage and animosity burning on the streets. Watching where tear gas and rubber bullets land every week is a strange way to revisit childhood memories, but here I am. 

Happy and hopeful because Hong Kongers are finally standing up to what believe in. Hong Kongers, in my mind, have always been somewhat apathetic when it comes to politics, perhaps because they’ve never had much say in their fate. They've been mostly quiet--until now.

They roar. 

I’m with the protestors. They are fighting for self-determination, for the freedoms they were promised in the 1984 Sino-British Joint Declaration (which led to the return of the former British crown colony to China in 1997), for the transparency and true social order--one that was borne out of respect for the rule of law and not of oppression, state-sponsored violence or white terror--that had made the city such a beautiful, phenomenal place to live. 

I’m posting this because the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has turned on its propaganda machine in full force, and I feel obliged to say something about what I know.

What a turbo-charged CCP propaganda machine means is this: many of you will be faced with what Hong Kong and Taiwan see every day--a massive influx of social media posters who are on CCP’s payroll, whose task is to push a script written by the CCP. A script that is mostly fictional, filled with half-truths and lies. The script on Hong Kong has evolved into this: the Hong Kong protestors are violent rioters who lack popular support and above all, are terrorists and separatists. These terms are chosen to make the Western world withdraw their sympathy. They’re also designed to further fan the hatred between mainland Chinese and Hong Kongers, to ensure that the former would see what’s going on in Hong Kong as something nefarious, rather than an outcry against the ills of their common rule. To fuel the nationalist sentiment that has been propping up the mainland regime as its economy deteriorates.

Tactics of these paid social media posters include: dumping multiple posts in a thread, often repeated messages that make little sense beyond swear words and nationalistic battle cries, which quell any reasonable discussions; making death- and doxxing- threats, especially if the target is a Chinese speaker; claiming freedom of speech as they spread lies and attack their opponents, knowing that Westerners treasure their freedom of speech and are wary of trampling upon it especially when it comes to the voice of foreigners, so they get to be the loudest and drown out rival opinions. (Australians may know that this tactic has moved beyond social media: pro-Beijing supporters have physically attacked peaceful rallies in support of the Hong Kong protests, to the praise of the Chinese embassy). The meeker ones would insist that Westerners lack understanding of the situation; who are you to know what’s going on in Asia? The internal affairs of the vast People’s Republic of China? They claim that they, who’re Chinese like the Hong Kongers and Taiwanese possessed by their government, have first dibs on the truth.

Please remember this: the truth is the one thing these posters don’t have. News in the People’s Republic of China is completely censored, to a degree perhaps unimaginable for most in the West. Media outlets in China have not reported at all about the anti-extradition bill movement that had started the Hong Kong protests, about the massive but peaceful demonstrations that had only gone unheard, about the many lies the government has told before and since (the extradition bill hasn’t been withdrawn; “being dead” is not a legal term), and above all, the unprecedented police brutality that have caused the young protestors, angry and terrified, to retaliate as a means to defend themselves, knowing that the local police is now part of the CCP political machine (the Hong Kong government is officially no more than a puppet) and is working with the mafia, both local and from China, to hunt and beat protestors down (Note: Hong Kongers do not carry firearms). 

Western reporters at the scene have called the situation chaotic, a mayhem, but I’d like to emphasize this: the protestors have, so far, not looted one shop; their targets have remained singly focused on the locations and people that they saw as symbolic of those responsible for the betrayal of Hong Kong, as snitches working on CCP’s orders. The chambers of the Legislative Council (equivalent to the Congress / Parliament; they didn’t even touch the library). The HK police and its headquarters. The “ghosts”, as locals call them: police / soldiers sent from the mainland dressed in Hong Kong police’s uniform (such that CCP can deflect accusations of interference); fake reporters who’ve mingled among the protestors to take photos for later identification and arrests. This laser-focus may not hold for long: police officers have increasingly been spotted donning the attire of protestors to stir up emotions and excess violence, even plant evidence in the protestors’ belongings (caught on live feeds). The “reporter” from the mainland who was beaten up at the airport last week, who has since been hailed as a hero in Chinese state media and Chinese social media cycles, is very likely such an example of CCP's attempt to destroy the protests from within. Mr Fu drew the ire of the protestors because he possessed the same blue “I love HK” t-shirt worn by a group of thugs who’d beaten up protestors several nights before, thugs who appeared to be of the same crop as those who’d attacked subway passengers indiscriminately on July 21st with the implicit blessing by the police and several prominent pro-Beijing figures. Global Times, the state propaganda tabloid, later claimed the man works for them--hence his “reporter” status--but the man didn’t own a press pass. Many have since suspected, from his unusual behavior leading to his “detainment” and beating by the protestors (he wore the fluorescent vest worn by reporters, then claimed to be a tourist, then tried to run away), that his presence was planned with the intention of making the protestors fall into CCP’s script of acting like violent rioters in front of the international press--and it worked. The incident was widely reported. 

The beating was wrong, and the protestors had willingly chosen to fall into the trap. But were their suspicion, their rage and fears completely unfounded? The clip has gone viral with the push from Chinese-sponsored social media posters as evidence of the protestors’ brutality. What about the context?

Related to this, please consider: a powerful weapon that CCP has, that Hong Kong and most countries do not, is the sheer number of people at its disposal. People it can coerce, bribe, brainwash, and unleash onto Facebook and Twitter etc, derail conversations and force opinions their way. Social media is, by definition, run by the masses. CCP has the masses.

So, please, please don’t be led by the mass when reading news surrounding the CCP, and now, Hong Kong. Please doubt the things you hear on social media, even if the voice seems the loudest, even if it seems to be the majority. Even if its English is perfect. Even if it claims to originate from Hong Kong--Westerners are not trained to detect the subtle difference in language use between the two places, but speaking as an observing Hong Konger, pro-CCP posters playing Hong Kongers in social media threads are very common occurrences. Go through the facts. Watch videos longer than a few seconds that capture the context. Think. Do not trust anyone. Do not trust me.

Please choose a reliable news source. New York Times (US) and The Guardian (UK) have been following Hong Kong’s protests closely from the start. TIME magazine has also done some in-depth coverage: its latest Asia edition presents a decent summary of the root causes of the protests. Also of note: the majority of Hong Kong’s local press, such as the English-speaking South China Morning Post (SCMP), have been bought out by capitalists affiliated with the CCP (SCMP is owned by Alibaba). Outlets from Taiwan and South East Asia (Singapore, Malaysia etc.) are often CCP-friendly as well for similar reasons. These outlets aren’t as outwardly pro-CCP as the Chinese state-run People’s Daily or Global Times, but they can be very skewed, if not lying, when the actions of CCP itself come to focus. 

For those who’d like to watch the happenings live, relatively free from the filters by news agencies and their political agenda, here’s a link. Videos will appear whenever events and live feeds take place:

https://ncehk2019.github.io/nce-live/

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you’ll consider following the news of Hong Kong, listen to what the people are fighting for and judge for yourself where you stand. Yes, it’ll look ugly at times. Yes, you’ll see the protestors act rashly, out of anger and fear and despair. You’ll see them make mistakes, do things that make you frown, think they’ve gone too far. And if you’re planning to travel there, their actions may cause major inconveniences. I hope you’ll still choose to stand with them--do you know they've actually gone out and apologized for their behavior in the airport? Visited the subway station where the police had fired tear gas and cleaned up the toxic residue? Would rioters or terrorists do that? 

The protestors are up against one of the most brutal and inhumane regimes in modern history, and they have no leaders, no precedence, no army, no funds, no backing of any kind other than popular support, other than a pure and simple faith that their actions will defend their homes and future. This isn’t a regime they can vote out in the next election. This isn’t even a regime with which they can have a conversation or make humble demands (the Five Demands of the protestors are almost laughably simple). The path the protestors have taken these two months has been made one step at a time; they’re learning, feeling their way out of the dark as they go. Because the movement is largely driven by social media, people like myself with a command of the local language can sometimes catch a glimpse of how the decisions unfold; it’s messy and loud and fascinating. It’s an experiment on direct democracy.

Do I agree with the protestors’ every action? No. But they’re the ones fighting the fight; they're the ones showing the strength, the courage that my generation, and the generations before me, didn’t have. They’re fighting because older generations like my own saw every warning sign of CCP’s encroachment but didn’t do enough, say enough. For me, one of the most heartbreaking photos of the protests was shot on July 1st, of a graffiti on a pillar in the trashed Legislative Council: it’s you (the government) who taught me that peaceful demonstrations are useless. This was a lesson they learned; this is a lesson many Hong Kongers have learned this summer. And most of these protestors have to face this knowledge so young; 700+ have been arrested so far, most in their late teens and 20s (youngest: 13). Rioting carries a sentence of 10 years; now that their “crimes” have been escalated to terrorism and treason, one can only imagine how horrific their sentences will be, the treatment those arrested are facing, even now, in detention before the trial. This is the price they’re willing to pay, for the right to self-determine, for the freedoms that should’ve been theirs all along. And the only way they can “win”, if their victory is only that the last cry of Hong Kong can be heard before CCP clenches its throat (which it will undoubtedly do), is if the West pays attention to what’s happening. 

Please do. Please help.

香港加油。天佑香港。

God bless Hong Kong.

[purplesurveys]

774

How many times a day do you talk on the phone with your significant other?: I just answered this on another survey lol. Idk it really depends how long or short our conversations are so there’s no one definite number of times, but generally I talk to her throughout the day. If we’re both busy, talking in the morning and before turning in for bed would be enough as well.

Other than English, what was the last language spoken to you?: Filipino.

What math level are you currently taking/did you last take in school?: I’m taking up a journalism degree so there’s very little math required for me to take. The one and only math class I had was Math 1 in freshman year and it was so basic we didn’t even take up actual math – it was a class on the history of math lmao.

Who was the last person to ask you for relationship advice?: Kate. I haven’t checked up on her and the guy, actually. Last time she went to me she seemed stressed and I never heard a rant from her after that, so I dunno if they fixed stuff or just broke up altogether.

Do you have a sleeping problem?: No, I sleep just fine.

Have you ever taken a survey with a friend, listing both answers?: Nooooooo no no hard pass. I wouldn’t want my friends to know I do surveys.

Where would you order your favorite burger from?: Pound’s burgers are so good. I stopped looking for other burgers once I got to try theirs.

Who have you been hanging out with most often these days?: Myself...and by default Kimi, who follows me literally anywhere.

Do you know a guy who has hair longer than yours?: Yes.

What color was the last cup you drank out of?: It was just a clear glass.

If you’re in school, what do you do to fill in time between classes?: I go to our org lounge, which is a place in the college we call Skywalk since it’s a walkway on the second floor connecting two buildings. There’s always stuff to do or people to hang out with there, so it’s my favorite place to go to and kill time.

Do you have friends in your classes? Not always. I wasn’t one of those people who needed to enroll in every class with a friend. I just walk into my classes to do my acads, submit shit, and finish off the class with a good grade. It’s cool if I spot a friend, but otherwise it’s not my priority.

When did you last encounter someone you disliked? Today and generally daily, pretty much.

Ever been to a real haunted house?: I don’t think so. Though when we went to Laurice’s house she told us that the house in front of theirs is abandoned – and it did look creepy lol – so we just assumed it was haunted. A couple of the boys went in to check it out but the rest of us just stayed at Laurice’s.

Where was the last place you got lost?: Probs the last time I went to BGC. That place has so many fancy schmancy traffic rules of its own and so many one-way streets and stoplights that anyone who isn’t from there can easily get lost.

What windows are open on your desktop right now?: I have a Try Guys video paused on YouTube, the Google Doc file for my thesis, the Google Forms file for my thesis questionnaire’s results, and a digital copy of the book I’m currently reading.

When was the last time you had cheesecake?: The other day I had ube cheesecake. It was supposed to be my dad’s Mother’s Day gift for my mom, but I asked for some heheh.

When you last shed tears, was it because of a person?: Technically? I cried from of a song, but it also kinda reminded me of a person.

Which music artists were at the last concert you attended?: Paramore <3

What was the last thing you discussed through text messages?: I spent my last peso texting Gabie we had no internet at home for the night so I won’t be able to talk to her, and that I’ll try again the next day.

How many songs are on your iPod/MP3 player?: I don’t keep one anymore. Technically, any songs I wanna listen to are accessible to me on Spotify now. Though it’s safe to guess that my iPod probably reached a peak of 500+ songs.

Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at?: Gabie’s, most likely.

Have you ever had a significant other whose parents didn’t like you?: I don’t think so. I get very insecure about this every so often given that we’re in a same-sex relationship and that I don’t always have the money to woo her parents and buy them pasalubong, but Gabie always reassures me her parents are more than alright with me. And there’s zero reason not to believe her when I do meet up with her parents as they’re very lovely people, so I guess it’s all good in the hood.

What’s so unique about your computer?: The stickers I’ve placed on my laptop case are probably the most unique about it.

How was life for you six months ago?: November was mostly uneventful for me. I think I was still mostly reeling over Nacho’s death.

How much is gas in your area?: I dunno, I never check lol. There’s been a series of rollbacks since March because of the virus, but this week my dad mentioned something about a price hike so it might be starting to come up again.

What’s something interesting you learned in the past week?: A bunch. I just got into a YouTube channel called Oversimplified which posts hilarious narratives of historical events (mostly wars) complete with doodles to make them easier to follow. Yesterday I learned about the Battle of Hastings which would also apparently become very influential when it came to the English language, so it was pretty cool to learn it was more than just a physical war.

Do you know what you plan to do for your next birthday?: Out-of-town trip or an overseas one altogether. Either sounds ideal.

Was the last book you read for fun or assignment related?: For leisure.