#also. i've been adding tags in order of changes i've made to this

[falinscloaca]

this is no place of honor. nothing good is buried here. like, look at those tags, jesus fucking christ icansayithewasalsojewish there they are, i'm at fucking PEAK 2:11 in the morning brain and i got hooked on the discourse rod like two hours ago at this point? i've been rewriting the same sentence over and over again trying to come up with a way to insult most of the people on this site while excluding all the people i'd feel legit fucking terrible making feel bad (which. includes forseeably anybody reading this unless the grace of god does- AAAAAAAUGHGHGHGGG JUST PUBLISH THE FUCKING THING

yooo this post literally begins "as a trans woman" and is about "discourse", uncool fetish shit, and like. idfk if theres even word for that other thing. People That Are Not Trans Women Keep Your Mouths Shut On This. Maybe Nobody Should Reply At All Actually? i've reached paranoid moralizing stink-beast levels that i don't even really know what to logically do with like i SHOULD post something and this is like my fifth time trying but also it feels deeply unwholesome to either reject or welcome outside input.

being a a trans woman, (which is. fucking relevant because YES THIS SHIT GETS TUMLBRFIED ALONG DEMOGRAPHIC LINESSSSS I'M REWRITING A FOLLOW UP THAT MORE DIRECLTY MADE CLEAR IT WAS ABOUT TRANSMISOGYNISTIC REACTIONS TO THINGS-RANGING-FROM-COMPLETELY-INNOCUOUS-TO-FRINGE-CASE-PERVERT-SHIT-I.-JFC-I-CANT-EXPLAIN-IT-MORE-AGAIN-I'LL-COLLAPSE) one who is NOT immune to internet horny in all its forms ranging from innocuous to.... Less [private information/"backstory" expunged tldr the internet can fuck you up especially if you grow to view it as a place of refuge] and is ALSO extremely adamant that Hey I Think That People Should Face Repercussions For Publicly Saucing Up On "Gross" (don't. make me spell out the exact points at which i think the enjoyment of a particular subject can be morally justifiable we'd be here all week and we'd kill ourselves before the talk was done) Shit but ALSO also the moral phucking filosopher in me can't shake off the feeling that Even Kink Shaming For Legit "Dangerous" Shit (in. interpersonal and cultural normalization ways not "shoot your boyfriend in the pancreas" ways) Still Fucking Counts As Sexual Harassment*** and. ghahghhhh.

at least if i didn't have a moral backbone i could hang out with those smug pretentious fictional bullshit loving DOUCHEBAGS but no i guess i'd chose "foolhardy and can-have-their-sense-of-Innate-Morality-swayed-into-fascistic-tendencies yet barring those incidencees are still fundamentally deep down good" to "i have pleasured myself with uranium-27 every evening for the past three years and its everyone elses problem, radiation is a puritanical myth" (or for that matter "foolhardy and easily swayed into fascistic tendencies and pretending to be good but its mostly people getting mad at trans women for calling themselves dogs or being furries". i do not intend to equivocate The Bad Thing Thats Transmisogynist with my own fucking sad little adoptive poop house filled with people failing to actually make any progress in extricating 'that stuugh' from the contexts where its fucking dangerous but like hey we're trying and i guess thats better than worshipping the the fucking stuff)

*** just bc i call it that doesn't mean arguments can't be made as to why its necessary or for the public good bla bla bla i'm not strictly arguing against it its just. even entertaining that it might be a lesser of two evils opens up so many fucking unsanswerable questions and my feelings-of-personal-shame-and-guilt engines just start kicking in bc this shit can't even be framed as "rationally" or "concisely" as a fucking trolley problem i'm moral relativisming my way into absolutism somehow i pray for hell to be real so that the duty of judgement can be left to hands other than my own for I Too am imperfect (albeit not in a way that gets off to children, LOL, get fucked i do still have the moral highground, like not over YOU necessarily but over those *other* dipshits that neither of *us* like)

[dustofthedailylife]

Rejecting you was my first mistake

→ Masterlist

Summary: They harshly reject you before realizing later on that they had feelings for you all along... only that you have already turned over a new leaf.

Pairings: Ayato, Kaeya, Xiao, Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader - [separate]

Tags: Angst, Hurt/no comfort

A/N: Hi peeps! I'm back with a new fic. Perfect for the gloomy fall season I deliver you some angst that a nonnie requested. I also added Alhaitham despite not being in the request. This is my first time writing for him (and it's angst, haha! He'll also get some fluff soon, I promise!)

AYATO

You looked below yourself and started drawing circles in the sand on the beach you were sitting on with Ayato. Your heart painfully clenched in your chest as you were unsure whether or not now was the right time to pour your heart out to the man by your side. Would he feel the same or would it end up ruining the friendship you’ve had since your childhood days?

“What is troubling you?” There really was nothing you could hide from him, was there?

“Nothing.”, you attempted to reassure him but he didn't seem convinced and raised an eyebrow with worry flaring up in his lavender eyes. You sighed deeply, your mind and heart starting to race one hundred miles per hour, while trying to gather all your courage.

“Ayato, I… I think I have feelings for you.”

“Oh.”

A small frown played around his lips that looked more like he was pitying you and you could feel how your heart shattered into a million pieces. A mind numbing silence followed your confession that almost drove you insane.

“Oh? That is all you have to say?”

“I’m sorry... I won’t be able to give you the reply you’re hoping for... I do not reciprocate your feelings, I see you more as a part of my family. I've actually been meaning to tell you today, that I’m going to be wed soon”

“... a wedding?”, you asked in disbelief with a quivering voice.

“It has not been officially announced yet, but she is from an allied clan and it was my father’s dying wish that I’d marry her.”

You turned your face away from him, not wanting him to see how his words had crushed even the last bit of hope you've ever had. You could feel tears stinging at the corners of your eyes and a painful lump forming in your throat. You got up from where you were sitting, kicking off the sand that stuck to your clothes and sighed silently in defeat.

“Do you love her?”, you asked with a shaky voice, waiting for his answer.

“I will.”, he replied after a short moment of hesitation, as if he was looking for the right words in order to not wound you more than he already had, oblivious to the fact that your heart was already broken beyond repair.

You nodded in acceptance before you started to walk away without looking back, feeling his pitying stare burn into the back of your head.

Weeks turned into months and months soon turned into years but he never saw you again since that day on the beach. You didn’t attend his wedding, that he had attempted to invite you to again via numerous letters, either. But every letter he sent to you or spontaneous visits to your home, stayed unanswered, until he ultimately decided to leave you alone to allow your broken heart to heal at its own pace. 

It wasn’t until he found a letter addressed to him on his desk one day, that made reality suddenly crash down on him.

Dear Lord Kamisato,

I am truly sorry that I did neither reach out for a long time nor that I could deliver this message to you in person. Shortly after our talk at the beach back then I realized that I needed to change something about my life and decided to leave Inazuma for good. By the time you will receive this letter I am already long gone.

I had realized that I needed to stop chasing impossible dreams and start focusing on my own goals in life and I knew that wouldn’t have been possible, if my feelings for you kept being an obstacle. It felt like I was drowning in a deep ocean, trying to reach the surface in order to be able to breathe again, but no matter how hard I struggled, it felt like it kept moving further and further away from me. Thus I took the next ship to Liyue and started to build a new life there. You’ll be happy to hear that I even met a lovely man that I married not too long ago.

I’m sorry I could not attend your wedding and I often miss the days where we hung out to talk or played chess together. I hope that things have gone well on your end and that you’re happy and doing well where you’re at now.

With Love,

Your old friend

He gingerly put the letter back on the table in front of him, tracing your penmanship with his finger as if he intended to feel your presence through it under his fingertips for one last time. He harshly bit his lip and felt a single tear rolling down his cheek. He wondered why your words caused him such intense grief all of a sudden.

It wasn’t until his eyes landed on the photo of him and his wife on his wedding day that he began to realize and a tidal wave of regret surged over him.

Back on that day on the beach he told you he would get married, he told you he would love her and he told you he doesn’t love you the same way you loved him. So why was it that only now he realized that it was you, that it had always been you, who he had been in love with all along? He had been a coward and pushed you away. Now you are gone, building a family of your own, far away from him, while he is trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman he has nothing in common with.

He had lied to himself all these years, convincing himself that he was happy with the way things were now - but the cold hard truth was, that he could not be happy if it wasn’t with you.

KAEYA

“And I won, again!”, Kaeya snickered, throwing his playing cards on the table triumphantly before downing the rest of his wine in one sip. It had been a cheerful evening that you and him spent together at the Tavern after work and you’d feel great, if only it wasn’t for your crush on the Cavalry Captain, which increasingly pushed itself in the foreground on your mind.

“I give up, you beat me! Drinks are on me tonight”, you chuckled and lifted your hands up in defeat before going to order another round of drinks for you. 

Kaeya watched as you walked over to the bar, conversing with the familiar bard who seemed to be quite fond of the wine as well and often kept hanging around the Tavern. He watched as the young bard threw a quick glance over his way before leaning in closer to you and whispering something in your ear that seemed to fluster you quite a bit, making you shake your head quickly.

“Got a love confession from the little bard over there, sweetheart?”, Kaeya teased as you arrived back at the table with the drinks.

“No, no, nothing like that. Nothing important.”, you reassured him, but deep down you hoped that what Kaeya had just asked was a small sign that he was interested in you as well.

As the evening drew to a close, Kaeya and you walked home together until you stood in front of your door. The moment you took the doorknob in your hand you suddenly turned around again with newfound courage, determined to spill your hearts content out to Kaeya.

“Alright, here we are. See you tomorrow! We can–”

“Kaeya, wait…”, you interrupted him and grabbed his hand before he could leave. “Remember when the bard told me something earlier?”

“Yeah, I do. Need any love advice from yours truly?”, Kaeya teased.

“Kaeya, please. This is not about him… but about something he told me, or rather about something he told me to do.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“Tch, that’s one way to put it… Kaeya, listen, I think – no, I’ve realized you’re more to me than just a friend. I–I I have feelings for you.”

A long silence followed your confession. His expression remained unreadable until he eventually pulled his hand out of yours again, placing it over his stomach and starting to laugh. Your heart painfully clenched at the sound of his bellowing laughter echoing in your ears.

“Hahaha, sweetheart. I think you had a bit too much to drink tonight, hm?” He remarked and patted your cheek with an amused expression, wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye.

“I only drank grape juice, Kaeya!”, you exclaimed, slapping his hand away in frustration. “I meant what I said.”

“Oh.”, he paused, his amused expression replaced with one that essentially told you everything you needed to know. He did not feel the same way about you.

“You actually like me?”

“I do… quite ironic, huh? The first time I ever fall in love, it’s with the only person who doesn’t love me back.”, you directed your gaze at the ground, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you desperately tried to swallow them down.

“I-I guess I’ll leave you be… goodnight. See you tomorrow, maybe…” He turned around, quickly waving you goodbye and leaving you heartbroken.

In the following weeks he noticed that you were purposefully avoiding him but he couldn’t blame you for it. He tried to act as he normally would when he ran into you, in the hopes that things would go back to how they were before that night, but they never did. In fact the more he tried to act normal, the more he felt like you were pushing him away, until you ultimately came to his office, handing him your letter of resignation telling him that you couldn’t keep going as if nothing happened.

It wasn’t until he saw you walking around the Dawn Winery’s vineyard hand in hand with Diluc, when he was there for some official business on the Knights' behalf, that he felt something inside of him die. At first he shrugged it off as jealousy, until he wondered why he was jealous in the first place. He had told you he had no feelings for you, so why did he feel the way he did when he saw you so happy and in love with Diluc? Why was it only now that he realized that he was in love with you?

To shield himself, he had always been so used to lying and keeping his heart locked, even to the ones he loved, that he had become numb to its desires - running away from his own feelings, until it was too late.

In the end all he could do was ruin things and push people away. It’s what he was best at, it seems.

XIAO

Xiao and you had hung out at Wangshu Inn but as soon as you had gone home he found your backpack sitting on one of the chairs on the balcony. Surely you must’ve forgotten it.

He picked your backpack up before it slipped out of his grasp, spilling its contents on the floor. Among it was your diary, which flipped open and landed face down on the ground.

Xiao let out an annoyed sigh as he picked up the things scattered across the floor, until he picked up your diary and caught a glimpse of a page where you had stuck a picture of you and him together with some doodled hearts and a small note reading "One day I will tell him..." below it.

What did that have to mean?

As if prompted, out of the corner of his eyes he spotted how your familiar figure appeared at the entrance to the balcony again. You halted the minute you saw him stand there, backpack on the floor with all your things scattered around it and your diary in his hand - opened. You could feel panic well up inside of your chest and your heart dropped heavily.

“What are you doing there, Xiao?”, you asked with unease in your voice. Had he seen the picture with your notes?

“I wanted to bring you your backpack, you’ve forgotten it. I accidentally dropped it… what does this have to mean? What will you tell me one day?”

He turned around, stretching his arm out, showing you the opened book in his hand and your worst fears had become reality the moment you saw which page he had been looking at. 

“Xiao, I–, archons why did you have to see this… I like you Xiao – a lot actually.”

He eyed you cautiously with an indecipherable expression in his eyes. Was it confusion, was it anger or maybe even lack of understanding? You couldn’t tell and the silence that followed your confession made your heart painfully contract in your chest.

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” 

“Why would you want to tell me this? What made you think I’d ever feel the same way? I’m not capable of feeling this way towards you, or anyone.”

“It’s not like I chose to.” Your voice was nothing but a mere whisper at this point and the lump in your throat became more painful by the minute. You took your last bit of strength to rip your diary out of his hands and quickly gathered your things together, that were still lying on the ground and stuffed them into your backpack. You flung it over your shoulder and left the adeptus without looking back once. 

This was the last time Xiao talked to you. He convinced himself that he didn’t need anyone around anyway, he’d been alone for centuries already, he could do a couple more. That was until the Lantern Rite came around a year later.

He never had been the person to hang around big crowds and this year would be no different. He sat atop one of the buildings in the city, overlooking the harbor and watching the lanterns float into the night sky.

Suddenly his gaze found you in the large crowd at the pier and he watched you as you let your own lantern rise into the sky, but you weren’t alone. There was a man with you who kissed you tenderly as you stood there hand in hand, looking after your lantern with a big smile on your face.

Something inside of him stirred at the sight of you looking at another man with the same adoration you’ve had in your eyes for him back then. How often had you asked him if he had wanted to visit the Lantern Rite together with you as well and how often did you skip going because he refused to go?

The scene where you had left him on the balcony of Wangshu Inn, when he had found your diary, played in front of his inner eye again, evident hurt in your eyes, inflicted by his vicious words, when all you had ever shown and given to him was your time and love. He had yet again been too stubborn to realize what his heart wanted and fell back into old patterns of pushing anyone away who got too close to him. Maybe he had been scared of what it would mean if he had admitted he had felt the same for you – in fact, he still felt the same. But you no longer did.

He had pushed you away and you found happiness with someone else. Someone more deserving of your love and he had no one to blame but himself for that.

ALHAITHAM

The day you found out you and Alhaitham had been assigned to the same research trip for the Akademiya, you had felt your heart do a little jump for joy in your chest. Both of you had started studying together at the Haravatat and occasionally had been working on group projects.

The trip itself started well, you had been sent to research and gather information on some carvings found in one of the ruins of King Deshret in the desert. You had set up camp at the oasis nearby and working with him was going smoothly so far, as it always did.

On the second day you decided to venture deeper into the ruins together, to see if you'd find more inscriptions. As you took the lead, you suddenly felt one of the tiles below your feet sink down and before you could react you felt a strong arm snatch around your waist, pulling you to the side. Once you came to again you found yourself lying atop of Alhaitham, your back pressed against his chest and his arm still around your waist, in front of you a pile of rubble that had fallen down from the ceiling.

"Careful, there are traps here.", he rationally explained. Maybe a bit too rational considering you could have died. But you didn't give it too much thought, also because you were way too distracted by the pounding of your heart in your chest, and you knew it wasn't because of the triggered trap that it was beating so loudly.

"Right…", you huffed breathlessly, before slowly trying to wiggle out of his grasp again. Had the placement of his arm been intentional or did you interpret too much into it? As your thoughts spiraled off, you felt your cheeks heat up, looking down to the ground in an attempt to hide your flustered face from him.

"Are you hurt?"

"No. No, I'm fine. Thank you… for pulling me out of the way."

He looked at you with a stern expression, nodding in acknowledgement before brushing some sand off his clothes and returning to his studies wordlessly. He sat down on a huge stone in front of a mural, continuing to scribble notes in his notebook. 

"Alhaitham?", you rasped with evident nervousness in your voice, gathering all your courage for what you were planning to say.

“Hm?”, he hummed, just briefly flicking his gaze up to you. You deeply inhaled beginning to feel your heartbeat pulsate in your temples.

"I think you're really great and–"

"Do you intend to ask me for help with your paper?"

"N-no, no that's not what I was going to say… uhm, I've been meaning to say that I really really like you.", you stammered, gesturing about wildly with your hands.

"I like you too, you're a great research partner and have great academic potential."

Ouch. Either he was completely oblivious or playing dumb, no matter the case, the lump in your throat became so big it started to hurt and at that moment you wanted nothing more than to cry and run away. Your confession had backfired even worse than anything you had imagined.

"I-I don't mean academically… or even as a friend. I like you… romantically, Alhaitham.", you coaxed out, using up all your strength in order to not start crying.

He looked up from his notes and put his pencil down, eyes now fully trained on you while furrowing his eyebrows.

"What made you think I have feelings for you?", he asked with an annoyed undertone in his voice. He slightly shook his head and devoted himself to his notes again.

He did not speak to you for the entire rest of trip afterwards, outside of the strictly necessary communication. Practically acting as if you didn't exist. Leaving you even more embarassed and heartbroken than you had already been from his original rejection.

Back at the Akademiya you immediately enrolled to change subjects and joined the Amurta for a short while, before deciding to quit your academic career entirely to become a Forest Ranger in Avidya Forest.

Alhaitham would lie if he had said he immediately noticed that you had quit, it had only occurred to him several weeks after you had been gone. It had gotten rather quiet recently and while he usually didn't mind being on his own and studying alone, he did miss your input on certain matters.

It wasn't until one day where he was tasked to bring an important document to Tighnari in Avidya Forest on the Akademiya's behalf, that he realized his grave mistake. It was then he saw you again for the first time. You stood on the gravel path in front of Tighnari's hut, both your hands interlocked with his, pressing a fleeting kiss on his lips. A smile brighter than the sun gracing your beautiful features before waving Tighnari goodbye and heading for the forest, together with a girl with green hair and purple eyes.

At that moment Alhaitham felt a wave of emotions wash over him, ones he, at first, couldn't quite place. You had never smiled at him like this. Was what he witnessed, what he could have had with you? He tried to ignore the painful knot in his stomach but no matter how often he told himself that he didn’t care what you were doing with your life now and who you were with, he had to admit that in reality he wanted nothing more than to turn back time to tell you he felt the same for you. It finally dawned on him that he had been blind about his feelings for you the entire time.

Why did he only realize it now? Only Archons knew.

He had learned the hard way that academic success wasn’t everything that was desirable in life. A realization that unfortunately came too late - you had already found happiness in someone else.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments and asks about Genshin or my fics are always appreciated <3

Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

TAGLIST

@irethepotato @euphierosyne @x-zho @stygianoir @polalcee

[innxrvision]

So long - pt. 2 𒂭

part 2 of 3 ------------ 𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint ♱ a/n: here's part 2 just like i promised! Also... this got too long again and I had to split once more, I'm sorry. Next part will be the last hopefully! I'll probably only be able to post it on wednesday or thursday tho, but we'll see how things go! Thanks to everyone that has been reading and liking my story, it truly made me happy!

𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3

Both of you entered the bar already chatting excitedly, just as you imagined, whatever disagreement that came between you two couldn't last long. You and James' friendship went way back.

"Let's get you a drink." James' playful smile made you smile involuntarily back.

He ordered two beers and raised his glass after you two settled down on a table near the wall, on a spot where the soft yellow light shined right on James' blonde locks.

"To making up!" He said, the smile never leaving his lips.

"If you say so." You shrugged, raising your glass too, but there wasn't any hint of resentment in your voice.

"I really am sorry about what I've said to you earlier. I never wanted to hurt you." He repeated his apology sincerely.

You shrugged again in response, not wanting to make a big deal out of it again.

"What has gotten into you anyway?" You asked genuinely curious before taking a sip.

"I don't really know." He admitted and you could sense some embarrassment coming from him. "I guess my emotions were all over the place and I took all on you. I truly hope you can forgive me."

You just nodded in response, you could easily understand his side.

Soon one beer became two, then three… and before you could realize it, both were a bit too drunk, laughing obnoxiously loud at each other's stupid jokes.

At a certain moment, while James were rambling about his new guitar, your mind wandered as you studied his features under the soft light. The unruly blond hair now gained a different shine, the blue eyes seemed more vivid, and the skin covered by acne suddenly got a different charm to it.

You've known him for years, but, for some reason, the realization that he had grown into a man only hit you now. It's not like you haven't noticed his changes at all, you could admit the boy you knew had gained the charms of a man a long time ago, however, something at that bar made it all become more evident. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Regardless, you just stayed silent, lost in your thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" James' voice cut through your mind, his eyebrow quirked in confusion. "You're looking at me like I have two heads or something." He added, a chuckle coming out of his lips.

You snapped out of it as soon as you heard him, your cheeks heating up in response to his question.

"What?" You laughed nervously "Sorry, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment, go on."

James grinned, finding your flustered expression too amusing to let it go.

"I must really put you in a state to make you blush like that." He took another sip of his beer and kept grinning at you. "What were you thinking about before? I'm curious now."

You tried your best to appear bored and rested your elbow on the table, putting your chin on top of your hand.

"Nothing. Just… Work."

He studied your face and the playful expression he had before turned into a smirk.

"You're hiding something." He teased. "You're a terrible liar."

You rolled your eyes, pretending to be offended by his observation.

"I'm not!" You shot back. "I said it's nothing. You're too curious for your own good."

"Come on, tell me." He nudged your shoulder. "It's not fair if you keep it a secret."

"Not fair? What? Don't you have any secrets?" You scoffed.

"Of course I do. But your secrets are much more interesting to me right now than my own." He leaned closer and raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So spill it. What were you really thinking about? Was it a boy?"

You looked at him incredulous, just wishing he would drop the subject.

"You can't be serious." You looked with concern in your expression at him and he laughed in response.

"Oh, I'm being serious. You were blushing so hard, so it must be a boy." He grinned, crossing his arms. It was clear that he was enjoying messing up with you. "So come on, spill it. Is it someone I know? Do you want me to hook you up?"

"No! What? You're crazy." You couldn't believe he thought you wanted him to hook you up with somebody.

"I know you're thinking about someone, just tell me already. Who's the lucky guy?" He pressed again.

"There's... No one!" You were starting to get frustrated.

"Oh, please. You can't fool me, I know you. You were obviously daydreaming about someone." He raised an eyebrow again and you had to take a deep breath in order to control yourself. "Is it one of the guys? Lars maybe? Or... Is it Kirk? I know you two are very close. You got a thing for him?" His voice dripped with amusement, it was clear he was enjoying teasing you.

"What?!" You opened your mouth in shock as he started pointing names. "I've never...! I never liked Kirk! Where did this come from?!"

"I can see the way you look at him sometimes." He chuckled, it seemed like he was testing you. "If it's not him, then who is it? I won't leave you alone until you tell me."

"Kirk is like a brother to me!" You said offended, your cheeks getting hot once again.

"You're protesting a little too much. I know you're hiding something from me." He studied your blushed face in silence for a second "Well, whoever he is, we can play matchmaker and set you up on a date." He batted his eyelashes dramatically at you and laughed.

"Why are you so invested in being my wingman? Who says I need one?"

You were getting tired of this talk. One second of distraction staring too much at him and now you had to deal with James playing guess by himself. He already loved getting on your nerves, but whenever he got drunk that would get worse.

"You've been single for almost a year now." He grinned. "I just want to help you find someone to share your life with."

You couldn't believe he decided to throw that on your face. Ouch. You sighed and looked around the bar for a second, trying to find a good response.

"Why don't you worry about your own love life?"

He chuckled again, shrugging off your comment.

"You know I don't do long-term relationships." He said casually. "I'm more of a one-night-stand kind of guy." He winked and that irritated you.

You looked down at your hands, trying to navigate your feelings. For some reason, hearing that he had been sleeping with other girls made you feel jealous. You tried your best to not seem affected, but James noticed the shift in your reaction.

"What's wrong with one-night stands?" He asked, his tone playful.

"I just think it's gross." You cursed yourself mentally for your childish response.

"C'mon... You're such a prude." He rolled his eyes and teased you, nudging at your arm. "One-night stands aren't gross, they're just casual fun. You should try it sometime, it might loosen you up a bit." There was that smug grin again that made you heated.

"I don't need to loosen up, I'm fine the way I am." You tried defending yourself. "And also, I'm not a prude."

"Sure, keep telling yourself this." He shrugged, that grin only growing wider at your frustration. "But deep down, you're just a boring goody-two-shoes who wouldn't know how to have a good time if your life depended on it." He continued. "Bet you've never even been on a proper date before."

You scoffed. Yeah, he made a habit of teasing you and yes, that would worsen whenever he drunk, but tonight he seemed even more invested in driving you nuts. "Is it just the alcohol?" You asked yourself.

"Of course I have!" You crossed your arms. "I can have fun just fine. I just think the girls you hook up with are gross."

You tried attacking him, but it was clear that your response only amused him even more.

"Gross, huh? Interesting choice of words." He leaned closer once again. "Does that mean you think I'm gross too? For hooking up with random girls?" He waited for your response, staring at you.

"I've never said that." You regretted mentioning his hookups and sighed.

"I know you're judgmental of my dating life." He leaned back and shrugged. "You're probably just jealous that I'm getting some action and you're not." He smiled triumphantly.

"Who says I'm not getting some action?" You tried your best to sound convincing but your attempt only made him laugh.

"Oh, really? With whom exactly? A pillow? A stuffed animal?" You blushed and he caught your reaction. "I knew it. You don't have anyone. Which is why you're so sour and uptight because you're not getting laid." He taunted.

"You're such an ass." You looked away and rolled your eyes. "It's none of your business, maybe? Just leave my love life alone, please." At this point, you had given up winning this conversation.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave your non-existent love life alone." He raised both of his hands in surrender. "But if you need some advice on how to get laid, come to me. I'm something of an expert, y'know?" He winked playfully.

"Like I would take your advice." You laughed sarcastically, seeing the perfect chance to annoy him back. "Bet you don't how to please girls at all." You added, certain that this would drive him crazy.

In response, he just smiled and shook his head. A different reaction that you were expecting.

"Oh yeah? You think I can't satisfy a girl?" He said confidently and leaned closer to you once again. "In fact, I bet I could satisfy you better than any other guy you've ever been with."

You stopped in your tracks, wondering if you heard him right. "He's just trying to get a reaction of me." You thought to tranquilize yourself.

"No way. Bet you take like... One minute." You decided just to keep teasing, trying to give him hell back for being so annoying.

"You think I'm that bad?" He raised an eyebrow with a smile on his lips. He then went silent for a second and something in his expression changed. "How about we make a bet then? If I can't please you better than anyone you've ever been with before, I'll do the dishes at your house for a week. But... If I do a good job, you have to take me out on a date."

"What?" Your mind went blank with shock and you felt a wave of heat from the embarrassment go through your entire body. Everything was all fun and games until now, but now you were just dumbfounded.

James noticed the shock in your expression and bit his lip, realizing he may have overstepped, but it was too late to take back now.

"Just hear me out. It'll be fun, it's just a harmless bet." He said quickly. "We are friends, right? What's wrong with having some fun?" He tried.

You couldn't even look straight at him now. It's true that you've been getting more and more attracted to him, but since you were best friends, you never expected this kind of proposal to come from him. Was it the alcohol? Was he just trying to prove a point? Your thoughts ran a 100 mph, trying to decide what should you do.

"I..." You started, then shook your head in an attempt to clear your mind. "Fine, it's a bet."

[silver-velvet-860]

More pixel coaches (and how I make them!)

From left to right: Niki (Soy Yo), Moxie (Hollaback Girl), Maps, Fun, and Talk Extreme

I wasn’t going to stop after 100! People have been big fans of these little things and wanted to know how I make them. So I took pictures of the process of creating them. (The full process is under this cut.)

I use Perler beads to make these coaches. They can be found in just about any craft store, or on the official website. I use a large square 29x29 pegboard, although occasionally I connect smaller 17x17 pegboards if the design needs more space, like what I did here with Moxie.

Every design starts out with this simple base right here:

Then I figure out who I want to make and look up references. I choose the color palette from the images and pull out some colors that I might use. Sometimes these can change.

Next, I change the outline of the base, adding and removing beads to shape it into a new figure. Once that’s done, I begin to add color, beginning with the outfit. I outline certain parts that will be filled in with color. Sometimes I look back at previous coaches for help— for example, I looked at Troublemaker for help for the beanie.

Once the colors are all set, I do one last look-through and change aspects that I feel need changing. For example, I decided to change Talk Extreme’s hair color, since I believed that there was another color that looked more like the original. The way my storage system works lets me take color samples directly off the storage drawers (they’re held there with the power of Velcro) and compare them to the design in front of me. I recommend making a color key for your perler beads, it’s very useful!

(A brief note: it's important to be aware of what your hands and/or sleeves are doing around the board. Accidents can happen, such as when I dropped my phone onto the pegboard and messed up a 90% done Maps…)

Once the design is finalized, it's time to fuse the beads. I use parchment paper and a basic clothes iron on a normal, non-steam heat setting. It's important to iron in slow circles so that every bead gets melted properly. Certain colors also melt more quickly than others. Once the design starts to show through the paper and the beads' holes become small, it's time to peel the design off the paper and flip it over in order to iron the other side. The back side doesn't need as much time as the front, since the beads are already hot. Depending on the size and complexity of the design, ironing can take 2-5 minutes.

When that side is done, I peel it off, and congratulations, it's done! It's pretty hot, though, so I set it down to cool. Once the plastic has cooled down to a reasonable temperature, it's ready to display.

And that's how it's done! The full process can take from 20 mins to almost an hour. I might make digital versions of some of the coaches to use as references for people to make them at home. Who would you want the pattern for the most? I'll be saving these all under the tag #pixel coaches, so if you want to see who I've already made, check that tag out!

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Tagged by @parts-of-me-unravelling, thank you kindly ^_^

Last song: Sparks - You Were Meant For Me (last non-Sparks song: exist†trace - 夢にキスを)

Favorite colour: Black

Currently watching: You've somehow caught me at a rare moment where I'm not watching anything. I most recently re-watched Sense8, which I love but I tend to prefer things that have a little less violence in it.

Spicy/savoury/sweet: At the moment sweet. Candy and fruit - hell yeah :) (I don't cope with spicy at all, so that's never the answer.)

Relationship status: a happy singular entity of many years, though more recently I'm questioning if I've changed my mind and want this to change at some point.

Current obsession: Sparks forever and always <3 (More specifically I'm currently fixating on getting my Sparks files in order, which has been consistently taking up pretty much all my time. Once that's done I'll probably go back to trying to draw as much as possible and grow my skills as I feel a little stuck there.) My other obsessions (most notably Good Omens and The Owl House) are currently in hybernation but never far away :)

(I'm going to add some things to make this tag game more tailored to the Sparks community, as I'll be tagging Sparks people ^_^ Reply to it any way that feels natural to you, as I am well aware of how hard it may be to answer things.)

What made you a Sparks fan: Good Morning/Exotic Creatures Of The Deep. Ron's existence. Seeing them live. Russell's entire everything.

Sparks era(s) closest to your heart: Two Hands One Mouth (the start of my journey but also those shows were truly something else) and Latte (what a next level album and tour!). (I'm being rigorous here and only picking two things.)

Favourite music video: My Baby's Taking Me Home

Dream show(s) if you had a time machine (max. 3 to keep it interesting): Balls, 21x21 performance of Indiscreet, Exotic Creatures Of The Deep. (For people who have to answer this in the future, yes I too am tortured by my own limit of 3. There's shows I was at and wish I could go see again but I guess that's what youtube is for.)

I'm going to try my best to tag as many people as possible, no pressure though! (Sorry if you've been tagged before or if I managed to forget to include you - consider yourself tagged by me if you want to be. Also if you've already done this before but want to answer the added questions, go for it! I'd love to see your answers!)

@votedmostlikelytofail, @cilogram, @dinkydiamond, @where-did-the-groove-go, @bawnjourno, @sparklepants123, @ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way, @heart-worm, @crystalblast, @whompthatsucker1981, @crinklecutfry, @reeny829, @adreamofroses, @pearlsandpetticoats, @betweentimeand42, @wombooooo, @8vb-girl, @carcarrot, @taintmansion, @zurdta, @glampacked, @drnutsack, @new-wave-worm, @bronskibeet, @glacenoire, @jefffreybeaumont

[isleofdarkness]

excuse if this is a weird question or if youve answered this before, but . you have so much worldbuilding in your au. theres TONS of characters it feels like and im just so curious.. how do you keep track of all of it??? it looks so overwhelming but so freaking cool at the same time

ive tried personally to build off of the descendants world in my mind but its so hard even if i write any ideas down XD

To put it simply, there's a lot of stuff that goes on behind the scenes that you don't see.

I am also insane.

Well, this actually isn't the biggest project I've ever done. My very first fanfic, which was a mashup of Disney, Marvel, Monster High, Ever After High, Dreamworks, and paranormal lore, was way more complicated and had a cast of over three hundred named characters, and those were just the original characters. That was when I was ten. You could say I know my way around complicated lore and massive casts. I don't think I can write without having those things, really. I wouldn't know what to do with a small cast or simple worldbuilding.

My worldbuilding comes from being a massive nerd. Disney and Marvel are massive properties, they have so much for me to work with and Disney did the work for me in giving me an excuse to combine everything. I looked into the world of Disney properties, DC properties, Dreamworks properties, and the properties of other media I enjoy that I decided to include, and then I just combined them in a way I thought made sense. I also took inspiration from Earth 27, a really great fanwork that also combines a bunch of different fandoms and has a massive cast of characters, in some things I've done.

As for how I keep track of it, that's complicated. The politics of the world are common sense to me, since the politics in my work reflect my perception of the real world and how I think things should be improves. And then I know the changes I would make to the properties I've included, I know the things I think need fixed and that I chose to fix them. And then I have my lists. Gods, my lists. I have so many lists of fandoms, of characters, of crews, of kingdoms, of gods, of powers, of worldbuilding. You can see some of them in Isle of Darkness AU info, but those aren't even close to all of them. And then there's my tagging system. I do my best to character tag extensively, both for your guys' benefit and for me to make finding things on my blog easier.

Keep in mind that I'm not perfect at keeping track of things. There are things I've messed up that you guys probably haven't noticed or if you have, haven't pointed out to me. Continuity errors. That's to be expected with something as massive as what I'm doing. I do try to fix things when I notice them and do try to keep everything in order, but I mess up. A lot.

Also, this isn't my first Descendants AU. My original Descendants AU, written when I was like, fifteen, was me watching the movies and adding in one character, Riah, changing some events in minor ways, and that was it. I started simple. But by the time I got to the third book in that series, I realized that I wanted to worldbuild more. That third book veers massively into original work area because I wanted to add more of the supernatural, which led to the shedim plot. I realized that I had fun with that plot, so I started rewriting the series to include more fun stuff. That didn't last, because I wanted to include so much new stuff that the rewrite would be unrecognizable. Thus, Isle of Darkness was born. There was a long planning period, and then there's been a massive amount of things added because I'm doing an esoteric work. The Endless plot? Added that maybe halfway through chapter four. Maverick didn't exist at all until chapter two, and I didn't make the decision to make her a major character until chapter two of Isle of Darkness. The rebellion? Originally wasn't a plotline, I was going to go for something closer to what the movies did. Jasmine helping? Wasn't on the drawing board at all until recently. The supernatural properties? You have no idea how majorly those have changed as I've written this because I originally wasn't going to include angels, most demon and djinn stuff, Roman deities, Norse gods, Aztec gods, or Lovecraftian horror at all. Heck, Jay wasn't even originally a djinn! I wrote the first chapter and then read this excellent fic where Jay was a djinn, realized it made sense, and added it to chapter two. My worldbuilding looks complex but man, most of it is because my work is esoteric. I add stuff in as I go along and come up with a way to make it work. Most of this wasn't planned when I wrote chapter 1.

If you want advice or to talk through ideas I'm always up to answering more asks or private messaging. I'm sure you have wonderful ideas. Also, I don't know if you're comparing what you're doing to what I am, but if you are, don't. I am insane. My grandfather, a New York Times bestselling author, looks at my stuff and goes "Good lord." I have been creating stories for nearly twenty years- I started when I was three, that was when I created my first story about a team of superhero misfit animals. I have a lot of writing and storytelling experience, and I have a lot of experience in things so insane that most professional writers would fear me. These things are what make my particular story as it is told by me, a unique person as all people are, work. These things are not going to work for most people, just like small casts and simple worldbuilding aren't going to work for me. Every writer has their own individual strengths and their own individual weaknesses. Play to your strengths, not mine.

And just have a blast. God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.

[moonyasnow]

Guess who made Dorm Rooms for my OCs—

Tomoe (&Grim) & Irina

Spike & Artemisia

Veronica & Victor

Big shoutout to Alchemivich and their folder of game-assets; this would not have been possible without them!

More notes about my general thoughts about designing and making them under the cut (Also haven't made Junia or Lisle's rooms yet because those spiral patterns on the Octavinelle Dorm Rooms' floors intimidate me and I really just wanted to show off these ones I've finished already)

The order I made them in was:

Spike(Base: Ruggie's room), Artemisia(Base: Sebek's room), Irina, Tomoe, Victor(Base: Ortho's room), Veronica(Base: Epel's room)

Technically I started Artemisia's first but I kinda gave up for a while hehe Then seeing this post of my friend Quinn making a Dorm Room design for her OC Finn just kicked my motivation into overdrive lol

Tomoe's I barely changed because the original already works well (just added a plant from Savannaclaw- pretend it's a gift from Leona or something- and some tuna cans for Grim) But damn I got AMBITIOUS with Veronica's room

I think the only objects I added that I didn't either make myself or get from either the Guest Room items or one of in-game Dorm Rooms were Spike's Pro Wrestling poster, and Veronica's sewing machine, sabre and the mannequin (though I did edit the body of the mannequin to look more 'TWST-y')

The most difficult parts were:

Removing the table and sofa seat thing in Irina's room. I had to literally draw the side of the fireplace on my own from scratch, as well as draw the wood planks that replaced the sofa- and also add the side of the window that the sofa blocks

Removing the Malleus portrait and training weights from Artemisia's room

Removing the apple crates from Veronica's room and having to draw the window

Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade

[chevvy-yates]

WIP Wednesday Whenever

Got tagged by @elvenbeard! ich danke mal wieder! <3

—

GENERAL:

Thought a lot this week and I set myself a goal for 2024: to be more structured with content for CP77 so I do not loose my passion for it. First I made a decision to only boot my laptop when:

I have an actual idea in mind I desperately want to vp. This used to be the case at the start of the year but along the way it seems I've lost it and instead only piled up my ideas …

in order of finishing a chapter for the 2078 story as some vp is to be added to support the written text (my friend and I share the vp work here too).

if I get asked directly by a modder to take shots for mods.

I just want to play the game ffs (which is rare in itself).

Don't want to force myself anymore to boot up the game each weekend, so that I have some content to post and keep up with this fast living fandom, as it produces vp and mods it feels like close to mass production.

I want to share quality in my content and not end up in just doing quantity. Which means I have to learn to stay more focused on what I want to create in the first place and one after another. This includes get less distracted which includs less browsing my dash and also be less on discord (servers).

So if you really want me to see your content:

a. tag me directly in your post (I do not mind being tagged!) b. send me a link via dm/discord c. use the tag: #chevvy-yates as I will follow this tag from now on.

Hope you understand my own problem and respect my decision, but I have to change something. The least I want is having you think I do not like your content anymore or I do ignore you. If you feel like I do, feel free to tell me about it! Sometimes I do not notice it myself.

Enough of that — now back to a bit content:

— VP/GRAPHICS:

I'll post this boy again tomorrow 🤍

and once I am able to push the button he will be back with lightning:

I reworked these two spotify covers for my two hc radio stations:

they look like this now:

Decided to place Ry's face into them bc they are made for him anyways. At first my intention was to stay more casual but didn't like the simplicity of pic + station icon/logo. Even tho I liked the concept with the chain boots a lot I've felt it doesn't have a reference to 'hell' and 'tech' as soon as I went to make the cover for my chrome chamber Rave playlist. Which lets me come to the next thing I sat down for a few days. I made a cover and moodboards for Hell Bunker/Chrome Chamber Rave:

SNIPPET:

a part of the Ryder oneshot I'm also still on:

His thumb keeps browsing his phone like it has its own life and a long moment later Ry catches himself now browsing his contact list. He didn’t want to call anyone specifically, also not around this time. He just keeps randomly scrolling the alphabet until he arrives at ‘T’. A smile steals onto his lips as he reads the same name, he spoke aloud prior, on his screen and pictures rush through his slightly tipsy mind. Long gone memories of his first clubbing experiences in Berlin. Back then he always had to be home around midnight. Both his legs still have some post-response to the last song he was raving to in the underground, making it impossible for him to sit quiet at all so he jumps up into a standing position and yells “I rave as fucking long as I want to—” There’s a long pause until he continues low “—like you always wished for me, Tommy …” Saying his first love’s name aloud for a second time now makes his smile on his dark contoured lips fade quickly. It’s the moment where Ryder senses that, after nearly 10 years, he still misses him. His thumb has already pressed the contact number and his hand moves up to hold the phone onto his ear. Ryder doesn’t think about his movements at all, his mind just froze in the moment as he moves mechanically. Only when hears the ‘Connection unavailable,’ it pulls him back from wherever he has been to. His right arm falls back into a hanging position, leaving him just standing there in the street. Deine Nummer ist seit jeher noch gleich, doch unter dieser scheiß Nummer werd’ ich dich nie wieder erreichen, wanders through Ry’s mind. Denn da wo du bist, geht keiner ran. Da ist kein Empfang. Ry’s phone is not the phone he used to have back then but he never cared about deleting any numbers at all and so they moved to the next phone and the next one after that and so on.

I tag all that recently reblogged me and those who come to my mind rn: @wraithsoutlaws, @therealnightcity, @dreamskug, @caer-oswin, @ @alphanight-vp, @kdval, @kittenchrissy, @gloryride, @rosapexa, @wanderingaldecaldo, @aggravateddurian, @streetkid-named-desire @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @pinkyjulien, @medtech-mara, @heywoodvirgin, @genocidalfetus, @ouroboros-hideout, @aggravateddurian, @ne0n-rust, @a-pirate, @breezypunk @peaches-n-screem, @jaymber, @lokiina, @shivsghost, @miss--river, @t0tentanz, @cyberpunkaddict, @cinnamon-mey, @spicyraeman, @fereldanwench @86maylin and @morganlefaye79 – also everyone who likes to do a WIP Wesdnesday/Whenever and as always and no pressure! I tagged more this time just to make sure u got notice of my decision in 'general' and that I intend to use my name as a tag now

[aspens-dragons]

heya!!

hey hey hey! i'm not like super into purple tbh but also like it's the closest to my current like little streak soooo yk how it is lol

================================================

Hey! My name's Aspen (he/him 👍) and I'm a junior at Naranja-Uva Academy! (i'm typing this with like proper grammar and all that cause like readability lmfao but that isn't how i normally type unless its like an essay or something) Right now I'm in the STEM track with a primary focus in veterinary sciences and a secondary focus in battle studies. And I'm vice-captain of our Cyclizar racing team! If you haven't noticed by now, I like Dragon-types. I really like Dragon-types :D

Other than my Cyclizar (her name's Spitfire!) I have two Pokemon, my Alolan Raichu (named Chip) and my Dreepy (named Zeppelin). AND in addition to those three, I have five other Pokemon, but they're kinda retired and live in Alola with my parents, but they're Pebble (Lycanroc), Jitters (Golisopod), Chloro (Lurantis), Grampy (Drampa) and Hibiscus (Kommo-o). I call Chip and those five the Big Six, 'cause they're the Pokemon I used while on my Island Challenge.

Speaking of my Island Challenge though, I was born in Nimbasa City, but I moved to Alola when I was... I wanna say maybe two or three? I dunno, I don't remember the moving part. Also, I've got an older brother and a baby sister.

Anyway, I've talked a lot, but I think that's just about it! See ya around :D

OOC under the cut!

Things to know!

Last updated: 09/03/2024

Hey, welcome!! Likes and follows come from @aster-pkmn-irl-real!

Current Arc(s): Patchwork Sanctuary, Victory Road Previous Arcs: The Schedule Switcheroo

Mod and muse are both minors! Please be mindful of that when interacting. This means no NSFW. The occasional dick joke is fine, but keep it PG-13.

Aspen exists in a timeline shortly after the events of Scarlet and Violet. He knows very little about what occurred during The Way Home.

Sentient Pokemon, eeby deebys, slow eeby deebys, chosens, legendaries, etc. are all welcome to interact, though Aspen may be skeptical about eeby deebys, legendaries, chosens, and evil teams!

Pelipper Mail/Malice, Musharna Mail/Malice, and Magic Anons are OFF.

Other than the rules above, feel free to send in asks :D

All posts prior to 06/05/2024 are not canon to this blog.

Regarding the above point! For some context, Aspen has actually existed for over a year at this point, and has had a blog just as long. I was originally using him on the blog this post was made on. In February (2024) I decided to create a main blog that I would use Aspen on instead, but in the past few months, I've been feeling kind of stuck about Aspen and it just hasn't been fun to RP as him. As a result, I've soft rebooted this blog (and a few blogs connected to him have also been soft rebooted for similar reasons). If you knew Aspen before this reboot, please be mindful of that fact that since he's been rebooted multiple aspects of his lore and backstory have changed and might continue to change over the course of this blog. This is why all posts from before June 5th are no longer considered canon to this blog!

Aspen's older brother might show up on the blog sometimes, so look out for that!

Aspen has a RotomPhone named Lithium, who will be talking with orange text!

Tags!

#clanging scales ⇌ posts or reblogs from Aspen (where he has something to add)!

#dragon dance ⇌ reblogs from Aspen (without anything added)!

#breaking swipe ⇌ answered asks from Aspen!

#devastating drake ⇌ Aspen-centric angst!

#wormhole link ⇌ off screen posts!

#fickle beam ⇌ posts to pay attention to! these might provide clues or foreshadowing!! Here is a link to all the #fickle beam posts in chronological order!

#blind spot ⇌ posts that cannot be seen by certain blogs connected to this one, those being @jaimemes, @espers-n-espurrs, @yveltalreal, @vulgrados-best, @rock-n-rolycoly. if only one or two characters cannot see the post, the character name will be tagged as well (ex. #blind spot: jaime would signify that jaime cannot see that post). everyone else, regardless of if they’re an anon or a blog, will be able to interact and comment.

#ft. suriya ⇌ Anything and everything from Aspen's brother!

#bzzt! ⇌ Anything and everything from Lithium, Aspen's Rotom!

#Da Beast ⇌ posts mentioning/about the New Client (see #Patchwork Sanctuary)

Posts pertaining to certain arcs (for example, 'The Schedule Switcheroo' and 'Patchwork Sanctuary'. ) will be tagged with the name of the arc. Here is a link to a post with descriptions of each arc!

[handwrittenhello]

i've opened commissions! ⭐ please contact me via email (handwrotehello@gmail.com), discord (@/handwrittenhello, no slash included), or here on tumblr with inquiries or other questions. you can also see other examples of my art by scrolling my art tag, #hhartt!

full terms of service under the cut:

By purchasing a commission from me (the artist) you agree to be purchasing my services only. If you have a problem with any of the below conditions, they may be changed if discussed with me prior to paying for your commissioned piece.

1. GENERAL TERMS

All drawings will include a small artist signature that you may not remove.

Prices are subject to change based on demand.

I have the right to reject any order that I do not feel comfortable drawing for any reason.

2. PAYMENT

Currency accepted is USD and can be paid through PayPal. 

Commissions will be paid 50% up-front and 50% upon sketch completion.

Don't send me any payment before I have agreed to give you a commission.

3. PROCESS AND DELIVERY

I will notify you when I have started on your commission and you, therefore, lose the rights to a refund (see point 7 further below for more info on refunds)

While I'm working on your commission I will have you review it to make sure you are satisfied with the progress of the work.

The amount of reviews depends on the complexity of the work.

During the reviews, you will see work-in-progress and these images will usually include a watermark and be smaller than the finished piece.

The time it takes to finish your commission varies from 1-30 days depending on factors such as my health, the complexity of the commissioned piece, and other work I have.

If anything comes up that will slow the progress of the initially estimated delivery time I will let you know ASAP.

Once the piece is finished you will receive the full-resolution image along with a web-friendly size. Note that there is no physical product. You may print the artwork at your own cost and with my permission; if requested, I will provide you with a print-friendly copy.

4. REVISIONS

You get 3 rounds of changes on the commissioned piece included in the price.

A fee will be added if you want something changed on the final drawing, unless a misunderstanding from my side has been made.

If you wish for me to change something in the drawing you have previously approved, I will charge you a fee to change it. The amount of the extra charge depends on the change you want me to make and is usually based on an hourly wage.

If your reference is unclear to start with changes will come at an extra charge.

5. COPYRIGHT / USAGE POLICY

I claim the rights to the produced drawing, not the buyer. Therefore I am allowed to use the copyrighted artwork to:

Promote myself with it everywhere

Publish books with it (artbooks, etc.)

Display it everywhere to my liking (website, social media, etc.)

Post it wherever I want

The buyer is allowed to:

Use the commissioned piece for personal use unless agreed otherwise (you can upload it on all your social media profiles, forums, etc.)

Print the artwork and claim the character(s) as their own, but not the artwork itself.

Use the artwork to promote themselves. You are not forced to give me credit when you post it but it is very appreciated.

Use the artwork on their Youtube channel and in monetized videos as long as the artwork itself is not the main subject for the earnings.

The following is considered copyright infringement:

Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially - means making money off it in any way.

Claiming the artwork as your own

Removing my signature from the artwork

Altering the artwork without my consent

I reserve the full rights to the image and its use/distribution unless otherwise agreed upon.

6. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION

I will do everything I can to make my customers happy!

If you have a problem with anything in regards to the commissioned piece please tell me right away so we can find a solution together.

I am willing to change some of my terms for you if you ask before I start on your commission. If you, e.g., do not want me to post your art anywhere, we can discuss this.

7. REFUND / CANCELLATION POLICY

The buyer is not allowed a refund once I started working on the commission.

If for any reason I am unable to start your commission you will receive a full refund.

If you cancel your order before I started it, you can get a full refund.

If you are getting a refund, do not request a Paypal chargeback. I will transfer the money back to you myself.

If you request a Paypal chargeback at any point when you were not allowed to ask for a refund you will lose all aforementioned rights to the commissioned piece and I will have the full right to profit further from it in any way. I will decline the chargeback and supply Paypal with our conversations in which we talk about the commission as evidence that I have completed work for you. Furthermore, you will be blacklisted for commissioning me again.

If the buyer breaks any of the points stated above they will lose all the aforementioned rights to the artwork commissioned by me, and I will have the right to profit further from the commissioned artwork in any way I see fit. If you have a problem with any of these statements, they may be changed if discussed with me prior to paying your commissioned piece.

What do you get?

Sketch and/or final sketches for you to review before I continue the work

Insight and involvement in color plan (depending on the complexity of the commissioned piece)

Full-resolution file (approx. 2000 x 3000px at 300 DPI) of final drawing and a smaller version for internet upload. Final file formats are usually PNG.

[mioyeo]

8 makes 1 Team

No matter how different, without one of us there is no 8 makes 1 Team

Synopsis : In which 8 boys build a friendship despise of their differences with the help of a psychiatrist

Pairing : psychiatrist! Reader x Ateez (for now )

Warnings : this chapter includes mentions of , ignorant staff , crying , sweet guard hours , grooming , influential parents, no consent , threatening , taking minors private parts in their mouths , sexual assault , arguing , please tell me if I forget something , and I’m not romanticizing disorders in anyway and this is pure fiction meaning this doesn’t represent Ateez in any type of way

For every new chapter I’ll place this (🟢) beside it in the masterlist so you guys know that the chapter is new and was posted recently

Tag list : @veneziamadness , @hcyaa , @sadcoffeecritic , @aapplepii , @lavishloving , @dogsongy , @acciocriativity , @k33vad3la , @seonghwifey , @hanjihyun23 , @yunhoswrld123 , @cqndiedcherries , @miriamxsworld , @belle643 , @pandyandy71-blog , @mothworked

I apologize for taking so long , I had a huge writer’s block so I couldn’t really continue writing for some days

Also if you want to be added to the tagging list for the next chapter comment so I can add you

Word count: 1,6k

It was a very quiet night that day as every guard was currently changing shifts  , others just coming in and others going home so they could return to their morning shift

Y/n just had dinner with both groups at separate times and now walked into the break room

" You've been called to the office "

One of her colleagues that was currently in charge of ordering new things such as medical equipment and further more looked up to her informing Y/n about her being expected somewhere

" I guess he must have heard my complaints "

" Your wasting his time with things we can fix ourselves , we get it there was a minor issue last time with a patient bu- "

Y/n bursted out laughing starling the other staff that sat silently doing their work

" A minor issue? Do you call a patient wanting to end themselves a minor issue ? "

She wiped her eyes and collected herself

" You must not know what your duties are if your labeling such a live threatening situation a minor issue , and the fact that you where also at the scene but didn't do anything makes me uncomfortable looking at you "

" I'm not in charge of him but you"

" Ok if I ever see you having any complications I'll just stare at you and leave how about th-"

Everyone stared in shook as silent murmuring where heard

" Both of you stop being loud there are people trying to work here "

" Well I'll excuse myself  ,  sorry for disturbing everyone else "

She bowed and went out sighing in annoyance before bumping into someone

" I-I'm sorry I didn't see you "

The male apologized quickly checking if she was alright

" It's alright , it's my fault I didn't see you "

" No no I should've looked where I was going "

He bowed again apologizing

" Aren't you the new guard in charge of Hongjoong? "

" Y-Yeah I am , I just changed shifts with a fellow friend that also works here "

" Are you going home now? "

" Yeah what about you? "

She smiled and straighten her work clothes

" I was about to meet my boss "

He hummed in knowledge scratching the back of his head

" I could walk you there since the exit is near "

" Sure I wouldn't mind company "

" How long have you been working here ? "

Both walked down the hall in silence only their footsteps being heard

" It's been over a month already "

" A so your still a fresh worker "

She nodded and looked ahead

" I feel like I've been longer here actually I don't know why but I bonded quickly with some of my patients "

" I know how you feel , I used to listen to my brother tell me stories of when he used to work here and these stories made me like his patients without even knowing them "

" These kids have something special in them they just need to be treated with care and be understood "

"I agree ,and it's exactly what my brother said "

She smiled softly looking at him

" You seem like someone they can trust based on your personality right now "

"I want to protect them just like my brown did"

" Your brother seems like your biggest role model "

" He is , we grew up alone and he was both parental roles that's why I really look up to him and want to follow his footsteps "

The elder looked at her before coming to an stop in front of the office "

" I guess this is your stop "

" Yeah it is , wait what is your name ? "

" I'm Seok-woo and I already know your name because of Hongjoong he can't stop talking about you and the activities you do with them "

He chuckled making her smile

" Well it was nice talking to you Seok-woo "

She waved before knocking on the door hearing a soft call for her to come in

" Ah Miss Y/n I've been waiting for you "

The man in his late sixties looked up from his paperwork gesturing for her to sit

" I must assume you heard of my complaints? "

" What complaints are we talking about ? "

She cleared her throat and adjusted herself on her seat

" I must inform you that the staff you've hired has been out off line and crossing several boundaries multiple times regarding not only my patients but other children here "

He hummed and leaned back on his arm chair

" When I started working here I came across the complaint that one of my patient has been sexually assaulted multiple times and forced to do multiple things out of his knowledge by one of the guards here and also physically assaulted for not acting they want them too "

" And who is that patient and guard? "

" It's my patient Park Seonghwa that was assaulted by Guard Lee "

She studied the man's face that seemed to stay calm despite being told this information

" Well I'll see what I can do about it "

He looked back at his paperwork

"He should be fired and sued for sexual assault it hasn't been one but many children in here "

The elder pressed on a button and spoke while looking at her

“ Please accompany Park Seonghwa to my office now , yes wake him up "

" Sir you need to do something about it "

" We'll discuss this with Seonghwa "

She sighed and waited patiently for the boy to arrive , it was making her nervous and something told her that this was going in a totally different direction

The door opened revealing the short blonde boy rubbing his eyes as he was woken up from his sleep

" Y/n your here "

The boy smiled and waddled towards her hugging her

" Sorry for waking you Seonghwa but would you answer some questions for me ? "

She looked at him and ressured him that it was ok so he could sit

" Miss Y/n here told me something about Guard Lee assaulting you is that true? "

The elder stared at the boy who's face dropped in horror

" Has Guard Lee been touching you without your consent ? "

He nodded and fiddled with his fingers

" What did he exactly do "

" H-He told me to take my pants off so he could look at my down there "

Seonghwa's hands found Y/n's who squeezed them slightly for encouragement

" Did he just look ? "

" H-He started doing weird things and told me that it was going to feel good "

" What do you exactly mean with he was performing weird things on you ? "

She rubbed his palm and reassured him to stop if he didn't want to continue

" He put it into his mouth and than did this until something weird came out "

The boy stiffened as he copied the stroking movements the elder performed on him

" What else did he do ? "

" H-He promised me legos after I do the same to him because he said that I should repay for his kindness "

Y/n felt sick to her stomach as she listened

" Did you allow him to touch you "

Seonghwa nodded

"B-But I didn't like it and told him to stop but he said that if I tell someone what happened he would kill me and depose my body in the woods where no one would find me "

The younger teared up trembling in fear

" How old are you Seonghwa ? "

" Sir this is a totally irrelevant question "

She looked in disbelief

" Seonghwa how old are you ? "

" I'm sixteen "

He replied sniffing

" With your age I don't consider this sexual assault anymore because that’s the legal age you can do sexual activities here in Korea "

" Excuse me ?! This is sexual assault and he groomed him prior to this "

She scoffed in anger

" How is this considered assault if he gave his consent Miss Y/n ? "

" He may have given his consent but he told the guard to stop but he continued without his consent on other occasions which means from that moment on its considered sexual assault "

“ He still gave his consent ”

“Because he was groomed, guard Lee formed a relationship with so when he was about to do this Seonghwa would be comfortable to say yes ”

" Do you know who his parents are ? His parents are very powerful people and if this comes to light it could get ugly "

He said calmly crossing his hands

" So you prefer to protect a disgusting child abuser because his parents are influential? "

" That's not what I said Miss Y/n , I'd need proof that Guard Lee touched him inappropriately before proceeding with this "

" His words are enough proof and the legos because this means that he literally purchased sex from Seonghwa in return for goods other kids as well we'd just need them to open up-"

" Miss Y/n this is not a normal hospital, these children practically live here be it long term or until they finish their treatment this is nothing like your past job "

" It's either you fire that man or he'll continue abusing your patients "

The elder sighed

" I'll see what I can do, I will have a word with Guard Lee you may go now "

Seonghwa looked at her and wiped his face even though they kept falling

" It's ok I'll make sure that he's gone ”

She bowed and left the office with Seonghwa holding onto her hand

“ Will he r-really be gone? ”

“ I promise you sweetheart that you’ll never see him again after I figure out how to get rid of him ”

“ I’m afraid he’s gonna hurt me ”

He teared up and shivered in fear

“ You don’t need to be afraid as long as I’m here , I’ll make sure he disappears from our lives completely ”

The boy nodded and hugged her tightly

“ I t-trust you ”

She teared up slightly and rubbed his back

“ I won’t disappoint you sunshine ”

[maibluemen]

ok while i'm working on which meta stuff i want to have on this blog, i do want to make a somewhat? detailed post on some name headcanons i have. so. some countries whose names i either tweak or change from the ones suggested by himaruya (arguably, there are no canon names. alfred is really the only one you could argue for lol)

🇷🇺 - ivan ivanovich morozov

hima doesn't give patronymics to the countries that would use them. ivanovich comes from ivan being very young and asked what his full name is, and the only male name he could think of was his own lol so he just stuck with it. and yes both sisters have teased him for this. morozov is derived from the russian word for "frost," which i find fitting; i wanted to find a non-jewish surname for him because i don't headcanon him as jewish and. of all the non-jewish countries to have a jewish surname.....well. no judgement on people who use braginsky and i doubt himaruya meant any harm or anything but yeah that's why i use a different surname for him lol

🇱🇹 - tolvydas jonas laurinaitis

shoutout to @hinotorihime who i believe was one of the first, if not the first person in the fandom to suggest tolys being a more accurate translation of トーリス (since japanese doesn’t distinguish between R/L sounds like indo-european languages do, and english doesn’t distinguish between I/Y the way lithuanian does, and tolys being an EXCEEDINGLY uncommon name, i don’t think “toris” is an unreasonable translation to have made after the game of language telephone from lithuanian->japanese-> english lol. トーリス would be directly transliterated like “to risu” for those unfamiliar with katakana. it’s worth noting that pixiv translates his character tag as “tolys”). uhh the source he gave me is a website that no longer exists and wasn't archived unfortunately, but "tolvydas" means something like "far seer" and tolys is a shortened form of it jonas is the name he added when he was finally baptized, and it's in reference to john the baptist anyway, here is an old post where she explains some name meanings!

🇪🇪 - eduard tamm

look i know eduard isn't really used in estonia but the guy simply gives off eduard vibes to me, sorry tamm, aside from being the most common surname, means "oak"

🇱🇻 - raivis bērziņš

bērziņš is, again, the most common surname and means "birch"

ed and raivis having the most common surnames in their countries i swear isn't me being lazy, i like the idea of all 3 baltics having tree names (laurinaitis referring to "laurel")

🇵🇱 - feliks mieczysław kazimierz łukasiewicz

who let the poles be catholic so. feliks has only been a name used in poland since around the 1800s? iirc, it was specifically brought over because of a fascination with french names but i might be wrong lol (and ultimately the origins of the name are latin, so variants of it are pretty old anyway). anyway. i've decided that his first name used to be mieczysław and he changed it around the time of the napoleonic wars to feliks, but kept the old name. kazimierz was chosen at his baptism and refers to st casimir, one of the many patron saints of poland (there's literally a wikipedia article dedicated to them all lol)

🐥 - gilbert maria beilschmidt

mary was just a hugely important aspect of gil's history as a knight (and the specific orders he represented also). he hasn't been catholic in centuries but he keeps maria in his legal name because that's his mom, guys

N. 🇮🇹 - felice luca veneziano

veneziano and romano being surnames (meaning "venetian" and "roman" respectively) i decided to just...assign the italy bros their uh. titles? as surnames. apparently siblings having separate surnames isn't unheard of for the nations lol, anyway. i thought it would be more fitting as i also headcanon that there's at least 20 italies (corresponding with each modern-day region though the actual history gets a bit messier, like my tuscany oc is more properly my florence oc.....that's another post, tho) and vene and romano represent. well. veneto (but originally venice) and lazio (but originally the city of rome...though i have yet to decide when he started representing rome because he's not an Ancient....anyway.....) felice being the italian variant of "felix" luca is a baptismal name referring to st luke, who is a patron of (amongst other things) artists

S. 🇮🇹 - lovino francesco romano

heh so lovino is in the category of not really a real name but i like it and have never really felt drawn to another name instead francesco refers to st francis of assisi who is hugely popular. well, in general. and is a patron of italy. i need to workshop some more headcanons about romano and religion because of....reasons lol, but this is definitely a name he took on relatively recently.

[imagines-ahs]

Chapter Forty-Seven: Scarlet.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes​ @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie​ (message me to be added if interested!)

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who's still interested in this very much close to my heart story and everyone who's been rooting for me and for everything going on in my life. Things have not been easy, and I've been thinking and wishing that I could just sit down and write, but I just... couldn't. I'm back now though, hopefully for good. Thank you, once again. I don't plan on letting that story go any time soon x.

Change of subjects. Venable supposed Billie Dean would open up more when she felt ready. Doing her best to shift her internal dynamics, she nodded and leaned to peck her lips once. How would my grandmother be like? She would never find out… she would never know if her family would have loved Billie Dean, if her mother would have been happy for her, if her father would have grown protective. I’m alone. She knew that, but being reminded of it was a different story. “We can order.” Clearing her throat in order to clear her mind, Wilhemina reached for her phone inside her pocket. Billie Dean snuggled closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, caressing it. I’m glad she has a family.

“Do you mind if we eat something other than McDonald’s?” Billie asked softly, hesitantly.

“Not at all. I was going to ask you that same question, actually.” A chuckle left Venable’s lips. She opened the delivery app and slowly began to scroll down the many options there.

Billie Dean smiled and leaned closer, eyes on the screen. “What about some pasta?” Venable hummed. Pasta sounded good. “There’s this restaurant I always order from.” Gently, Billie reached to touch on the screen; her nail produced a tiny sound as it made contact with the glass. “They have the most delicious red sauce.”

“You know I won’t argue with you over food recommendations,” Wilhemina teased, trying to lift the somber atmosphere off of herself. It worked, for Billie Dean laughed in a way that got her mind thinking about nothing but the way that woman beside her managed to be so damn majestic.

“I hope I won’t let you down this time.” Honey eyes moved to brown ones.

Wilhemina offered her a tiny smile. “You couldn’t.” It was true, and it was also scary. Not now.

Humming lovingly, Billie looked down at the screen again. “I usually go for their spaghetti with meatballs. They also have those delicious breadsticks that taste heavenly with the sauce.”

“That’s perfect.”

“Would you like me to order?”

Venable nodded. She handed her phone to Billie Dean and leaned on her shoulder to watch the screen. Billie Dean bit her inner cheek, holding back her grin as she began to tap down on the mobile. “Do they have anything sweet?” How funny was it that ever since starting to work at Billie Dean Howard & Co. Wilhemina found herself craving sweets in a way she had never done before? Sweets had never been much of a part in her life.

“A few pies.” Swiftly, Billie clicked on the options. She slowly scrolled down. “Their pecan one is delicious.”

Venable was about to agree to it when she saw there was cheesecake on the menu. “Have you ever tried their cheesecake?”

“Not really. We can though, if you’d like.”

Wilhemina nodded. “It’s my favorite.”

“Really?” Honey eyes moved to brown ones once again. Venable smiled a little. She did offer me some cheesecake last week. “I’ll keep that in mind.”A soft blush coated Wilhemina’s cheeks. Billie Dean took notice of it to herself and looked back at the screen. “They have strawberry, grape and blueberry. Which one would you like?”

“I personally prefer grape, but anything else is fine.”

“Grape it is, then.” Billie quickly placed their order, holding back the urge to complain about the fact that Wilhemina was paying for everything. The subject didn’t even cross Venable’s mind, if she were being honest, for the simple fact that Billie Dean had quickly gotten them grape cheesecake was enough to melt her heart in a strange way; she didn’t even question it, she simply got them what Wilhemina had said she liked more. Such a small act, but so damn sweet in nature… Venable wondered if Billie even realized how much she managed to enchant people. Handing the phone back to Wilhemina, Billie Dean leaned back against the couch, arm still wrapped around Venable’s shoulders. “It should be here in about forty-five minutes.”

Wilhemina hummed as she set her phone aside. With both of her hands free, she reached for Billie’s free one and tangled their fingers, slowly playing with them as she looked down at their hands. Will she ever be bothered by the fact I have no family? Like it or not, Venable would never be able to introduce Billie Dean to a mother or a father. I’ve never stopped to think about it before. Her relationship with Lisa had been so different she wondered if it could even compare.

Lost in thought, Venable didn’t realize the way honey eyes were so concentrated on her, analyzing every single feature of her beautiful face. Billie still wondered how could she have not realized just how utterly gorgeous Wilhemina was from the very first time they saw one another. The memories came crashing inside her brain, and Billie Dean couldn’t help but let out a faint chuckle at how different things were, now. Past Billie Dean would have never guessed.

The sound that left Billie’s lips pulled Venable away from her mind. She blinked once and looked at Billie Dean. “What is it?” She asked softly, small smile on her lips.

Shaking her head, Billie smiled a little more. “I was just thinking back to when we first met… to how different everything was.”

“Oh.” What a change of thoughts. Venable nodded. “Indeed.”

“I was so… intrigued by you.”

“Intrigued?” A questioning fiery eyebrow raised up.

Billie nodded. She licked her lips as she thought about how to best articulate her words. “You were so… different. You are different.” The frown in Wilhemina’s features seemed to grow. Billie Dean’s lower lip got caught between her pearl teeth for a moment. “The way you’re so true to yourself… not bending your head down to anyone. It’s different.”

Venable had never stopped to really think of herself that way. “I suppose.”

Billie nodded. Her fingers caressed Wilhemina’s, as well as her other hand on her shoulder. “I mean it mostly about how you’ve always treated me. I was just someone else to you.”

Wilhemina couldn’t help but let out a small irony filled chuckle. “You’re anything but just someone else to me,” she said before she could process the words.

Billie Dean’s smile now reached her eyes. Her chest fluttered just enough for her to want to kiss that woman again. “I mean back then… you’ve never kissed my ass.” Well now that’s just weird. Billie held back the stupid childish giggle that desperately fought for freedom inside herself.

I’d like to kiss her ass now. Wilhemina gulped. Come on. “I know what you mean… and I’m glad for what it means to you.”

Billie nodded. “I desperately wanted to get to know you.”

“Was I that mysterious?”

“Oh yeah,” Billie Dean teasingly raised her eyebrows. “Everyone wanted to get to know you.” Venable let out a scoff. “It’s true!” Billie protested. “I know Emma did.” Brown eyes stared deeply into honey ones. Billie Dean raised a hand in protest, although her cheeks began to blush. Was it a good idea to make that joke? Both knew it hadn’t really been a joke.

“Ugh,” Venable groaned. The reminder that Emma existed—and in consequence, all of their current situation—was definitely not something Wilhemina wanted right now. But also… was that a hint of jealousy in Billie’s voice? Overwhelmed, Venable hid her face against Billie Dean’s neck, which caused a loud laugh to leave Billie’s lips and a hand to tangle in fiery hair. “Don’t even remind me of her,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.” To hear Wilhemina saying she didn’t even want to be reminded of Emma was, in all honesty, an amazing feeling. Am I…? She was. Billie Dean knew that.

Wilhemina groaned again before looking back up. She licked her lips as she thought. Thinking of Emma has always been anxiety inducing. It was rage inducing now, too. “I still can’t believe she’s said the things she did to you… who does she think she is?”

“Someone who’s in love with you,” Billie Dean said quietly.

“She’s not—she’s not in love with me,” Venable quickly said. Honey eyes kept on looking at her. Wilhemina frowned. Is she? No, it didn’t make sense. She shook her head. “It’s not—it was not like it is with you.”

Billie held back the ginormous grin that wanted to grace her features once again for the sake of the subject they were talking about. It’s not like it is with you. It was a sort of relief to hear that. “She does like you, that’s for sure.”

The worry dimple between her eyebrows kept on intensifying itself. Venable sucked on her lower lip. “Well, yes, but… in love? I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. That’s a stupid question. “For starters, it’s me, and then—then how could she be?”

Exactly. It’s you. “Just like I am.”

Venable shook her head again, deciding that it definitely didn’t make any sense. Things between her and Emma had never been as intimate, as comfortable and as personal as things with Billie Dean. How could Emma be in love with her? No, it just didn’t make sense. She wasn’t in love with Emma, after all. “I just… no.”

Dwelling on the subject would cause more harm than good. The dimple between Wilhemina’s brows kept on growing and growing, and so Billie lightly squeezed her hand. “I just meant that maybe she was scared of losing you.”

“She’s never had me,” Venable said, quite coldly. But it was true. Giving herself to someone—anyone—was a huge step for her; one she doubted she could even manage to take in her lifetime. Billie Dean has a part of me. No, she did not, not yet. Billie hadn’t seen her body bare, after all. And still… I do feel like she’s got at least a fraction of me. She sucked on her lower lip again.

Billie kept her eyes on Wilhemina, paying attention to her every movement, even the slightest ones. She’s bothered. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Wilhie. I’m sor—“

“No,” Venable cut her. Billie Dean closed her mouth. Wilhemina squeezed her hand lovingly, offering her a small smile. “You didn’t… I just—I had never… never stopped to think about it. About that, about how she saw me…” Grimacing, she shook her head again. “It doesn’t matter, she still didn’t have the right to treat you like that.” Logic had always been Venable’s best friend.

Billie had definitely understood that love was a hard subject for Venable. She nodded, caressing Wilhemina’s hand back in order to bring her some comfort. “I agree… but it’s over, now.” Is it? Billie Dean’s stomach dropped at the reminder that Emma knew—or rather, thought she knew—about Terry. She’ll destroy me to Venable. Billie had to think about how she’d approach that subject, but not now, not today. They had had so much turmoil over the past weeks, at least a weekend of peace was more than deserved. “Don’t think about her. She’s not here.”

“But she will be on Monday,” Wilhemina murmured. She leaned her head against the backrest, eyes glued on Billie Dean’s perfect ones. Their faces were close again.

“Then we’ll deal with that on Monday. I’ll be there with you.” Disguising her own worries was a hard task, but Billie knew she had to do it for Venable. Wilhemina seemed to hesitate, but nodded. With a small smile, Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her lips softly, lingering there. As she was about to pull away, a hand reached to caress her cheek, holding her in place. Billie’s own palm now pulled Venable closer by the shoulder, caressing it. The kiss slowly grew firmer, and inside Wilhemina’s mind, the word ‘we’ passed through nonstop; they were a ‘we’ now. How good did it sound? But also… how would that ‘we’ be on Monday, when they were at a public setting, at a work setting, at a life setting?

“Billie,” Venable whispered softly, thus breaking their kiss. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at dark brown eyes; she found a hint of fear there. Wilhemina nibbled on her lower lip, fingers nervously caressing Billie’s cheek. “On Monday… are we still gonna be we?”

Blonde eyebrows threatened to draw closer together. Billie Dean took a second to understand Venable’s question, but when she did, her own face softened up. She nodded, certain and firmly. “Of course, Wilhie.” She licked her lips as she thought, and then, hesitantly, began to speak again. “It… it took me so long to finally have you. I’m not letting go.”

I’m not letting go. The corners of Wilhemina’s eyes clinked. She nodded, and then she leaned to kiss that woman again because how did she manage to get so fucking lucky? I don’t deserve her. But she was there and she was kissing her and she was holding her so damn lovingly she feared she would melt away in Billie’s arms. I love her. I love her. I love her. She kissed Billie Dean a bit firmer in order to stop herself from having the possibility of letting it slip, and Billie’s arm around her shoulders pulled her even closer, causing her back to lift off of the couch and Billie Dean’s arm to slip lower; instantly, Venable leaned back, but with the hand tangled in Billie’s, she pulled her along. Billie Dean snuggled closer, arm letting go of Wilhemina’s shoulders for the sake of the position they were on. The kisses kept on growing firmer, and Billie Dean’s body now bent weirdly. So she shifted on the couch in order to rearrange her hips, which caused Venable to realize what was going on. Gently, she pulled away once again, eyes on honey ones. “You’re not comfortable, are you?” she whispered with a chuckle.

Chuckling back, Billie Dean shook her head. “No, but it is worth it to keep kissing you.”

Letting out a shy laugh, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. “Straddle me again?”

Billie’s stomach twisted. She nodded and moved to do so, legs on each side of Venable’s body. They had done that same thing that morning, in bed, and later in the vanity, but it was still new. Very new. She smiled down at Wilhemina, feeling as hands caressed her hips. Their breaths mingled. “Much better,” she breathed out.

Venable nodded slowly. “Much better,” she repeated. Brown eyes fell down to those rosy lips in front of her, but before she could move forward they already collided against her own. Wilhemina sighed, hands taking in every single curve of Billie Dean’s waist and hips, feeling the way the rough material of her jeans clung to her skin. Stupid jeans. Venable didn’t know what had gotten into her. And then she remembered that time Emma had straddled her in the couch of her house, and how different it had felt to make out with her; with Billie, time simply stopped. Against Wilhemina’s shoulders, near her head, Billie Dean rested her forearms and caressed her cheeks with her thumbs, cupping the fat there as if she were holding the most precious piece of art in the universe. Their tongues had long ago met, dancing like velvet against one another. Just to tease, Billie nibbled on Venable’s lower lip and pulled on it softly, a small smirk on her lips. “Oh—“ Wilhemina instantly gasped. Her cheeks turned such a dark shade of red it was nearly purple. Honey eyes turned darker as they stared at her, and Billie Dean caught her own lower lip between those same teeth, now. Venable gulped. Her lower stomach trembled, as well as her hands that kept on exploring Billie’s back.

“Do you like it?” Billie Dean asked in a near whisper, voice dropping in a way Venable hadn’t heard before. Wilhemina nodded again. I want to devour her, the thought passed through Billie’s mind as fast as lightening. She was the one to gulp now.

“I—I l-like it when y-you straddle me, too.” Venable’s voice trembled from something she couldn’t quite point to; something nice, very.

“Me too.” Billie Dean’s smirk grew a bit more. Her eyes fell down to Wilhemina’s lips before coming back up at dark ones. Venable instinctively pulled her closer. “Can I ask you something?” In the state she was at, Wilhemina doubted she had the power to ever deny Billie Dean anything; she nodded. Billie’s cheeks were the ones to tint now, but only faintly. “Do you like those jeans?”

Fuck. Billie Dean had caught her staring. Of course she had. Now, she turned purple. What an irony. Her eyes fell down as she struggled to keep them on Billie’s, but when she heard that same woman letting out a small chuckle, she looked back up again, lips curving up. What a funny contrast from just a few weeks ago; she would be feeling absolutely ashamed had that happened back then. But it wouldn’t have, for they weren’t that intimate, for they weren’t them yet. Shyly, Venable nodded. “It’s n-not nice to stare… I k-know. My apologies.”

My apologies. Why was Wilhemina so damn classy, even when teasing her? And why did Billie Dean find it so damn sexy? “It is if what you’re staring at is already yours…”

Already yours. Venable blinked once. Is she mine? Did she actually have Billie? What were they? Are we… girlfriends? They were both adults, for fuck’s sake. Did adults even call each other’s partners girlfriends or boyfriends? Wilhemina found it to be so childish… but the concept left her chest tight with joy. She licked her lips, eyes still on honey ones as she tried to find something to say. Nothing came to mind. Billie Dean was about to cut the silence when there was a knock at the door, thus cutting their spell. Both looked away, and Billie carefully got up. “I’ll go—I’ll go get it.” Venable cleared her throat and reached for her cane to get up.

Billie Dean nodded, watching as Wilhemina made her way to the door. Taking a deep breath, she only now realized how fast her heart was beating. Oof. Billie’s lower stomach still burned. She took another deep breath, hand smothering her blonde curls down in order to make herself more presentable. When Venable walked back in, they both followed to the dinner table. “Smells delicious,” she said softly, reaching to help Wilhemina take the containers off of the bag.

Just like Billie Dean, Venable’s whole body seemed to have been engulfed in flames. She forced her mind to go back into place. At the words, she nodded. “Indeed it does.” She reached for the now empty bag. “I’ll go grab the plates and silverware.”

“Let me help you.” Billie followed to the kitchen along with Wilhemina, cheesecake in hand. As they got there, Venable put the bag away and reached for the plates. “Give it to me.” Billie Dean extended her arms once she let the cheesecake go. Slowly but surely, her nerves began to calm down.

“Thank you,” Venable said softly. She now reached for the silverware and for their glasses. “What would you like to drink? I have juice, water, tea…”

“Juice is perfect.”

Wilhemina nodded and moved to grab it, as well as put the dessert into the fridge. They both got back to the living room and set everything down. Sitting face to face, Billie Dean was the one to start opening one of the containers. Venable followed along, heart still a bit faster than usual. Steam raised from the pasta. Billie hummed as she moved to open the container with the breadsticks.

“Looks delicious,” Wilhemina leaned closer. “That’s definitely a hidden talent of yours.”

“Choosing good food?” Billie Dean chuckled as she grabbed a breadstick and took a bite. Venable nodded, carefully serving the both of them. “Well, I’ll take it.”

“You should,” Wilhemina smiled. She pushed a plate closer to Billie before grabbing a fork.

“Thank you.” Taking another bite of the breadstick, Billie Dean reached for a fork and quickly swirled some pasta on it. She took a bite, eyes closing as the taste invaded her mouth. Of course it was as delicious as she remembered it to be, and maybe Venable really was onto something.

Wilhemina couldn’t help but hum as well, reaching for a napkin just to make sure her chin would be free of sauce. “This is wonderful.” Carefully, she reached for a breadstick and dipped it into her dish. Honey eyes watched her lovingly. Venable took a bite.

“Approved?”

“More than so.”

Billie Dean’s smile grew as she got back to eating.

It was interesting, how even a simple task as much as eating felt much more meaningful with Billie around. It caused Wilhemina to wonder what the future held for her, and even though anxiety tried to break it here and there and make things blue, Venable focused only in coral for now; only for a meal, she could manage.

The pasta and breadsticks were soon over, and as Billie Dean followed Wilhemina to the kitchen once again and they loaded the dishwasher together, Billie tried remembering when was the last time she had enjoyed doing chores so much. When was the last time she felt excited to do the dishes, to watch a movie, to just sit on a couch and talk… when was the last time life had showed its colors to her? When was the last time life had allowed itself to be purple?

They both got back to the table, cheesecake in hand. Venable carefully cut them each a piece, mouth salivating at the sight of the creamy cheese and the thick jelly.

“Now that I know it is your favorite, I’m nervous for your reaction,” Billie commented softly.

Shaking her head, Wilhemina let a smile escape her lips. “I’m sure I’ll love it just as much as the pasta.”

“Hopefully.” Billie Dean took a first bite; it was not the best cheesecake she had ever had, but it was good enough for herself. I need to find a way of getting her a piece of that gourmet cheesecake I had in Germany. Honey eyes still watched Venable’s every move.

To Wilhemina, the cheesecake was absolutely delicious, even though it couldn’t be considered the best she had ever had, either. Slowly, she savored each note of sweet and sour, crunch and smooth. She nodded. “It’s good.”

“Not the best, though.” Billie took another bite.

“Maybe not the best, but something I’d buy again.”

“I’ve failed, then,” Billie Dean frowned teasingly, which caused laughter to fill the dining room.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Venable said softly once her laugh died down.

Biting her lower lip, Billie kept her smile printed on her lips. “What’s the best cheesecake you’ve ever had?”

With the dimple between her eyebrows, Wilhemina thought. She felt a foot caressing her own underneath the table. Emma’s. She assumed Billie Dean wouldn’t like that answer. “I can’t really choose.”

“But if you had to?”

Don’t make me answer to that. Lying was not something Venable was fond of… but Emma had been a grey cloud over them, and she desperately needed that cloud to go away. “The homemade cheesecake from one of the ladies at the orphanage… it was the first one I’ve ever had, and none other has ever compared.” It was true in more than one way.

Each bit and detail Wilhemina revealed about her past just caused Billie to admire that woman even more. Her chest flushed with something awfully similar to love. “I bet it was delicious.”

Taking another bite, Venable nodded. When had her past become something so trivial to talk about? “I think it’s more of an affection memory than the taste itself… I do remember it being extremely creamy though, even if the ingredients were probably low quality.” They didn’t have money to spend on extras, after all.

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”

I’m not sure I have many of those. “Six.”

[reversedumbrella]

hello and happy birthday!! I wanted to thank you for your art, your comics always make me smile anytime I see them and I really love how expressive the faces you draw are! Your demon OC's are also very cool looking... would you like to tell something about them? do you make these for some story or just for fun? 👀

Hope you have a good day.. or night!

thank you!!

my demon oc's are just for fun! they belong to a series of stories "demonicismos" which i don't plan on ever writting. sometimes i don't even remember their stories! i always find myself revising these characters and changing stuff about them and how their world works. i haven't got the opportunity to infodump about these uys in years (actually counting for how long some of them have been around is making me sick)

im going to talk a lot about them. like. A LOT

checking the demonicismos tag on my blog led me to discover i have never really posted much about them, despite the fact that i made charater charts in 2020 or something (unavailable to me atm. most drawings of these characters are away from me rn)

nowadays i don't really care much about them. i've thought about doing a digital card game with them like south park: phone destroyer (yes i used to be into south park. im not ashamed of it. im using this example bc i really liked how a kid could only ever be in the battle field one side at the time. if your opponent played character A and you also had that one, you had to wait until they opponent's died. i also thought about playing around with character dinamics. if a character saw someone they hated join their team, they'd join the enemy team and vice-versa. i got distracted so i never started programming it)

currently im mostly trying to redesign the characters as an exercise for myself. these were the original concepts for egil (pink), marcel (orange/red) and antonio (yellow), versus more recently (i am unhappy in regards to marcel and antonio)

Design Rules

my ideas have changed over time and with them how characters should look. first there weren't any rules, i just drew whatever. then i choose that every demon should have horns and a tail even in human form - it would be a reminder of what they lost. they'd never be human again. then i went back and forth on how much demons could change their shape. it ended with all demons having a human form and a demon form, with some having specific shapeshifting habilities but always with horns and a tail (egil can stretch his limbs but mostly does so in order to be the tallest guy in the room) my last rule, added for this exercise, is that all demons always have their human face. the idea came from that undertale quote - "despite everything its still you" no matter what you do its still you. the good. the bad. you. demons can blame their behaviour on the "corruptive nature of hell" but its them

Basic Lore

i debated myself over wheter or not i'd talk indept about worldbuilding lore, which would triple this post's size. let's go through the basics. people die and become demons in hell. hell is divided into numbered layers and where someone goes after they die is judged according to the motto "nobody deserves to suffer". people that actively stopped others from suffering go to layer 1 and people that found joy in other's suffering go to 9. a demon belongs to a layer but can go to the ones below it, but not above (demons from 5 can go to 6,7,8,9 but not 4,3,2,1). demons are souls, and their physical bodies are made of mud transformed by that soul. i was inspired by some papers i read on witchcraft. demons couldn't manifets physical bodies so they'd trick people with smoke, gases and dust in the air a demon can only have one body at a time. if their arm is cut off 1) they reattach it or 2) a new one grows at the same pace the other turns back into mud. if the entire body is destroyed they reform from the mud in ground demons dont need to eat or sleep but feel hunger and sleepyness. hell is a punishement for their behaviour so layer 1 is ok, layer 9 is... not. money is also a thing. because this is hell

demons have powers based on personality and character flaws

a demon's size is based on their strength - how big their soul is - but their human form is the size of their human alive self. there are 3 ways for a soul to grow. 1) feel strong emotions, then rest and absorve those emotions. its important to rest. 2) cannibalism. eating other demons body part will give that part's strength 3) deals. a demon can share their power. deals are fast but demand consent. cannibalism is slow but nobody can stop it

Finally talking about the Characters

i don't remember very well the first story i made. it was about a boy that had another boy living in his head. and the boy in his head was really angry because he couldn't do anything and when he got extra angry things started to burn and melt around them

miguel (or michael or any other version of this name)... actually i just remembered i wanted to do this guy's story

Egil. his original design was based off angel dust from the hazbin hotel pilot and i don't think he has changed that much.

those blue branches on his head are the guy who killed him. there are ways to permanetly end a demon and after egil did that, the dude fused into his head. the pink arms and legs are rubber gloves/boots. he's a biologist, specialized in genetics. his house/layer is full of vats filled with unnatural stuff growing in there. he doesn't have friends, he's prone to anger and always has to be the smartest person in a room - this goes with his tendency to always be the tallest person in a room. his shapeshifting powers come from his unhappines with himself and inferiority complex. he used to love biology but now tries to gain knowledge just so he can know more than the people around him. he gets angry easily so he's an unpleasant person to be around so he doesn't have any friends so he convinces himself he doesn't need anyone and i hope im making sense here

antonio and marcel. father and son. marcel my baby. you deserve a redesign more than anything

back when the stories where set in an alternative earth with history similar to ours, antonio was an italian american. now i don't know. he went around killing fascists and made immortality magic so strong one of those "get rid of you permanetly" things just sent him to hell and is now lodge in his heart. he can remove the sword and use it as a weapon but his beating human heart is there and removing it will kill him permanently (unless you put the sword through another heart) in hell he had time to think and understood that he was only killing fascists to saciate his bloodthirst on people he deemed deserving of death. the true way of ending fascism is with good infrastructure and school system. killing fascists became an hobby

marcel... my sweet son marcel that deserves better colors. rules don't apply to him he can do whatever he wants and i'd let him. technically a cannibal

quick sketch of the sisters. i don't rememeber their names. i dont even remember if they had names. based on a bird and on a pupper/spider. cannibal vs deals

they're both very manipulative. the bird one, the older sister, always got the upper hand at home so the spider one let out her frustrations by manipulating and controlling people. the bird one can turn people to birds and control them if they hear her play her harp. this counts as cannibalism (slow and no consent needed). the spider one manipulates weaker demons into bellonging to her by deals. in their story they end up fighting each other as they scream their frustrations, coming to the conclusion that everything is their mother's fault (wrong)

barbara and barbara, one is based off a carnivorous plant and the other a bear

i had never thought of them as friends until i started the redesigns but now i kinda like the idea. they're both cannibals with my favourite being the plant one. in this drawing she's missing teeth on those big green jaws. she closes them with some guy inside and digests him

i have so many more characters but i've also been writting this the whole afternoon

[fountainpenguin]

Recent Frayed Knots progress for those interested (+ Origin):

Rereading - Spent May rereading a lot of Knots content, ensuring I knew where we were and wasn't going to forget certain plot points. I recap highlights in next chapter's author's note, such as a recent conversation between A.C. and his mom as they plot to kill High Countess Anti-Elina, which is, y'know... not a plot point we want to set up and forget to follow, haha.

TOC Update - Cleaned my table of contents, ensuring I had all my ducks in a row (as I moved a lot of things pre-hiatus in 2023). Made a new mini TOC that's easier for me to navigate and updated my new documents with proper before and after links.

Found some scenes I'd misplaced and cut some that had already made it into another chapter.

Outlining Update - Made some outline fixes to account for where we are now in terms of school, migration season, and the return to school. Also, cut some stuff related to Prince Eastkal. Made new, cleaner plans for moving A.C. from school to our next location.

Chapters - Dropped Knots' expected chapter count from 77 to 65. It'll probably go up again later; I've just been feeling unsure about its ending, so I brought the number down to what I know is staying.

Also, added headers and footers to Knots and Origin chapters & added these works to the Rainbow Train (in line with this post)

Rating Fix - Gave Origin and Knots lots of critical rethinking. Made the decision to change their AO3 rating from T to Not Rated and Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings and we'll talk about that in the author's note next Knots chapter.

Their expected content remains the same (i.e. The upcoming content was always in my plans), but I felt this was the more appropriate rating for a lot of the plot lines (Like, y'know... the sexual abuse that Anti-Cosmo went through with Anti-Kanin that he's still in denial even happened, plus the abuse multiple characters faced from Cupid's family, plus multiple attempts at child murder, not to mention some upcoming abuse that makes me say "Hmm.")

Any content I deem truly M or E will always be kept separate from these stories, as I do still consider these 'fics closer to upper teens in rating (or lightly mature), and they're more about themes than on-screen content... but now that I'm more familiar with AO3's rating system than I was when I posted these pieces, I think Not Rated & Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings are the best labels.

I want people to have proper expectations that oh boy, these are very messy 'fics. Read with care.

I'll leave the 'fics T on FFN for now unless I have a good reason to change them to M. I can see AO3 readers being surprised if they encounter the drawn-out abuse themes in a T rating, but imo FFN's definition for T rating is still more applicable to these 'fics than M.

Tag Update - Cleaned all the tags for Origin and Knots (They're mostly much the same, but I cut a few and added a few for clarity and improved the order of the tags).

Ex: Added a tag to Knots that says "A.C. is betrothed and married to another woman before Anti-Wanda." This was already implied by the first relationship tag (A.C./Original Character) and I did have a Slow Burn tag, but this should clarify

Also added specific tags for Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, and Sexual Abuse (instead of just Abuse & Dubious Consent).

I had a tag that said Angst and Romance, but I've changed that to Drama and Romance because I think that's more fitting

Removed Interspecies Relationships and changed to Interspecies Awkwardness + similar tweaks to other tags.

Intermission practice - Did some mini-projects to practice the mental switch of going from 3rd-person present tense (recent projects) back to Frayed Knots' style: 1st-person, past tense, and A.C.'s special brand of rambling and vocabulary.

New covers - Did lots of sketches for new cover images for Origin and Knots, as their old covers are outdated and I'd like to redraw them in my current art style.

Prep for next chapter - Wrote detailed story recaps for the author's notes (An Act 3 recap + a recap of all Anti-Lance's appearances thus far, as I wanted to highlight his past interactions with A.C.)

The next chapter focuses on Anti-Cosmo's relationship with Anti-Lance (who recently became creche father of the colony) and I really want readers to remember that Anti-Lance has played a significant role in Anti-Cosmo's life ever since they were tweens and he's not just "some guy" to A.C.

I spent time reviewing all of Anti-Lance's appearances and ensuring his personality and decisions next chapter are in line with how he's been established thus far.

Work on the next chapters - Lots of good progress has been made. I'm feeling good about the balance of A.C.'s inner monologues with the action (Heavier emphasis on the former than in most of my other works, in line with Frayed Knots' writing style).

Lots of outside research for the next chapters, plus reviewing how I've set up Anti-Fairy culture to ensure everything's in line with it.

Spending time to look at the upcoming chapters as a storyline to ensure I have my scenes in the chapters that make sense for them (and that I'm not just focusing on one chapter at a time). I don't want to rush to get a chapter out and regret not including a scene.

Working on my pacing. Many big things happen in this part of the timeline and I'm taking time to find a story flow I like.

Hoping to post Knots chapters starting in July. My posting schedule will depend on chapter length and the buffer size. See you then! :)

[mbti-sorted]

Jun 24 - Happy 10th Anniversary to mbti_sorted!

It's 10 years to the day that I started posting on tumblr, with inagural posts David Strathairn and George Harrison.

I have typed just over 7100 people since then. Here's how the site's looking:

Pie by the numbers:

No major changes in order - ESFP really took off when I started trying to clear out the inbox (there are 10 times as many ESFPs as INFJs). The ISFJ tag also took off (a concerted effort to find more diverse ISFJs). INFP recently surpassed INTJ (about 20% of the INFP tag is chess players) and is now on par with ENFJ. INFJ and INTJ are within four people of each other.

The funniest thing that's happened lately is re: the "ask mbti sorted" tag, which I started so that I could track my own asks without spamming the general tumblr "asks" tag. Because I put so many posts in there, people started using it to tag their posts because it seemed like a popular tag, but it was just me!! I removed the tag, since the intended purpose of it has been lost (@infj-zen and I kept sending asks in order to track people we found, so a lot of them were from us).

Been charting relationships more formally - I'll keep updating this post as new information is found.

Still don't feel as if I am able to type everyone easily or well (although the tags are definitely getting much clearer), so I guess I'll keep at this for a while - see if my predictions about the British Royals are right.

I've run three #GetSorted challenges. Is there any interest in a fourth this July?

Ongoing projects:

1.Updating the 100% tag. This has stalled out a lot - I made it through the ESTJ tag, and then realized some of them we're actually ISTJs, and got a bit derailed. Still have ESFJ, ESFP, ISTP and ENTP to rewatch and tag. I've added a lot to the other tags, though, so I should probably just start this over from the beginning.

2.Answering typing asks (holding steady around 2200 people to go), not a typing asks, updating the relationship chart.

That's about it. Anything you're interested in seeing happen around here? Let me know in comments, tags, or the askbox. No guarantees, but I will take ideas under consideration. Seems like a good time to try something new!