#always just tired and feel wrong footed and awkward as unlikeable and bad and stupid

[shijas]

:/

[icyymocha]

Acts of Kindness

Warnings: Fluff, angst, Bucky loathing, insecurities

word count: 2,285 

Summary: From the beginning you both started dating, he was never one for showing affections, always opting to hold your hand; the bare minimum of showing any love to you physically. Bucky would show you his undying love for you through small acts of kindness and services. Throughout his life, the super-soldier was taught to be a gentleman. Always paying attention to his loved ones before he puts himself and his needs first. He’s always the believer who thought, ‘actions speak louder than words,’ kind of guy.

Bucky was disoriented and bitter. He was emotionless but it never meant he never had his moments of vulnerability. When Bucky was brought back from the blip and experienced his best friend leaving him with Sam and getting the worst therapist, he was so, so, so tired. He disconnected everyone—even his other best friend, Sam Wilson. Having a bloodbath of a past, he couldn’t stand being in a room with people, fearing he would hurt them again. He wasn’t himself. That was until he met you. You were kind and understanding. Unlike everyone, you weren’t walking on eggshells whenever it’s about him. You always showed him that you only saw him as a person instead of a monster. Bucky feels a warm feeling whenever he’s around you, yet he’s always stifling himself whenever you show small gestures of kindness that make his knees go weak.

Bucky thought he was showing how he felt around you and others (even if all he does is grunt and stiffen or stare when people are around). It wasn’t always like that it was the opposite for you. You thought he hated your presence, always noticing how he stiffens like a wooden board. So you started to distance yourself. Only believing he hates you and noting how he doesn’t like what you do. Oh, If only you knew. The first few weeks when you weren’t doing your usual morning routines (he’s not a stalker, he’s an observant person, guys) Bucky was confused and frowned. He didn’t push it and nevertheless continued on his day—ignoring the yearning feeling for you. Then, another few weeks came by, and then a month and, so on. Bucky was frustrated. Why were you ignoring him? Did he do something wrong? Did you finally see the monster he truly was from the inside? No….

He shook the thought away. He couldn’t have you be afraid of him now, not now, not after when it’s your fault for giving him these strange feelings. Sam pointed out he had a crush on you, but he was a stubborn bull and bluntly said “it’ll go away.” Wrong. He was so wrong.

So, after weeks of planning, Bucky decided to show his first act of kindness towards you. He prepped himself to have a bit of confidence in the mirror, having Sam forcing telling him to ‘man up’ By the time it was time to go and meet you (Sam setting the both of you up), Bucky protested and complained. Knowing how much of an asshole he was and how he took your kindness for granted. At this point, Sam was annoyed and being the best wingman he is (no pun intended), shoved him out of his apartment and dragged his ass to the place where you both met. The park. It was simple yet cliché. But Bucky, he was more than glad he had met you—by err running into you and knocking you off the ground by accident. He profusely apologized yet you laughed it off as if it was nothing. Months after the blip, he thought no one would recognize him, but he was wrong. He simply forgot you used to work for Shield and was there during the fight against Thanos. How could he have ever forgotten about you? You were there, since day one during the civil war, had he not realized about your presence? Either way, he was ecstatic.

Seeing you there all dolled up, Bucky hesitated. Sam huffed and shoved him a bit further more into your direction; Bucky glared at him. Nervous was an understatement. But Bucky was more than nervous. Every bundle of nerves in his body wanted him to run away but his heart told him to express his feelings towards you. Clearing his throat, you turned around and was surprised to see him there. Not like you were complaining. Bucky was wearing his usual black clothing but he always looked handsome.

“I didn’t think to see you here Buck,” you said, surprise written all over your face

“Well me either” Bucky said bluntly

Stupid, stupid, stupid—he heard Sam say in his comm.

“I—uh, I mean, Sam forced me to meet you” Bucky coughed awkwardly

You raised an eyebrow, your lips quirking upwards. His com is full of Sam’s ridiculous laughter and annoying remarks. He is so going to kill Sam.

“Well that’s unfortunate, too bad Sam’s missing out the fun,” you joked

The stiff tension in Bucky's shoulder relaxed a bit. Okay, good so far...

“Yeah, you’re right, doll”

Shifting his weight from one foot to another, Bucky looked down at the ground. Being around you was already making him shy away from but talking to you for the first time with a full conversation made his heartbeats rapidly

“Uh I got you something”

“Oh?”

Handing you a bag in your direction. Bucky waited until you looked inside. Anxiety eating him up to see how you react to his gift.

The bag in your hand felt heavy. You trusted Bucky, even more so than Sam (not like you’re ever gonna tell him that). You slowly opened the bag to see it filled with a variety of gifts. Your eyes widened.

Inside, there was a copy of your favorite mug you had broken during a food fight with Natasha. Next, were boxes of your favorite foods and chocolates. Then, a small amount of jewelry and a sweater with your favorite band. Others were some of your favorite novels. Last, was a letter? Wait, a letter from Bucky? That’s new.

You put down the gift bag and carefully opened the letter you assumed was written by Bucky.

Dear Y/n,

Uh, I don’t know where to start but nothing I do could match for all the acts of kindness you had shown me throughout the years.

I, uh, I’m sorry for all the shit you had to put up from me. I acted like an ass and I took everything for granted of your consideration for me. I never realized I hadn’t told you how I felt about you until you started to distance yourself around me. It’s not your fault, I understand.

Being known as a weapon from Hydra and a murder for killing the innocence of people, I understand if you’ve distanced yourself because of that. I never meant to scare you away. It’s quite far from that.

I always wanted to express how I felt around you. The way you gave me a warm feeling inside of me, made me feel loved and cared for. But I was never one for physical contact and I never know how to act around you nor tell you words about it. No words could ever describe what you mean to me, how much beauty you hold can have everyone look at you. If I’m being honest, you got me whipped and so is everyone else around your finger.

It was clear to me that I wasn’t always the best with people nor did I care enough to see how my actions or words could affect a person. I never realized I didn’t observe a person’s well-being enough to understand that this would create a drift between you and me. I’m sorry I never communicated with you—regardless even it’s just a quick yes or no question.

Sincerely,

James Buchanan Barnes.

It was eerily quiet. The tension between both couples was awkward. Bucky didn’t know whether to stay or leave and dig his grave six feet down in secondhand embarrassment. He quickly looked down at the ground, ashamed. He had a feeling he should’ve never written that letter to you, it was stupid and a dumb idea. Thoughts raced through his head; his fear of rejection of you leaving him. He lost so many people in his life, Bucky would’ve been devastated if you left because of him. It would be beyond the repair of what’s left of him that Bucky gave to you each day, pieces by pieces. Shallow breathes became heavier but Bucky gulped painfully, ignoring the burning feeling in his throat for a release of hot air.

What if this is the end? What if you hated him now? What if you left him because you found out who he truly was? What if you left because he never approached you as other people did? What if-

A gentle motion of a hand grazed his right bicep soothingly. He gulped even harder. This is it, Bucky tells himself. Yet no harsh words came at him nor did the mercilessness of a slap come towards him. But, two fingers grabbing a hold of his chin, forcing him to look up at the eyes that took his breath away.

“Bucky?” y/n whispered

closing his eyes, he waited for the rejection but it never came. He waited and waited. Feeling the warmth of two soft hands cradling his face, he leaned into their touch.

“This is really touching, thank you.” Y/n thanked, peppering kisses around his face. Their hands caressing his face, feeling the little stubbles underneath their fingers. Bucky’s whole body wanted to melt right then and there, already thinking how he needed their touch from now on.

Nuzzling into his neck, you murmured a sweet confession. Bucky already thought his heart had melted but no, it very much exploded—already so overwhelmed with this new profound feeling of love.

As much as Bucky savored the sweet moment with y/n, Sam had to interrupt it

“Are you lovebirds done yet?”

“I can’t stand watching an old man be all sappy,”

“Oooo Bucky's gonna get it,”

“We all know he’s gonna get laid y/n.”

Cue Sam fake gagging noises in Bucky’s com

Y/n giggled while Bucky clenched his jaw. His eyebrows furrowed and his crystal blue eyes darkened, he was ready to beat Sam’s ass for ruining the moment. You watched as Sam screamed for his life in and out of the park while a certain super soldier shouted profanities at him. It went on for a while. And during those moments, you recorded it all and saved a backup just in case to tease Sam about it. (You’ll never forget how Sam screamed like a little girl)

From the beginning you both started dating, he was never one for showing affections, always opting to hold your hand; the bare minimum of showing any love to you physically. Bucky would show you his undying love for you through small acts of kindness and services. Throughout his life, the super-soldier was taught to be a gentleman. Always paying attention to his loved ones before he puts himself and his needs first. He’s always the believer who thought, ‘actions speak louder than words,’ kind of guy.

He would always show ways of his way of saying, “I love you,” by refilling your cup in the mornings. Always made sure you were fed and hydrated throughout the day. He would ask if you need anything for personal needs, replacing your nightly skin routine when he thinks it’s almost finished. 

Whenever you have errands to run or missions to accomplish, Bucky always insisted to come with you whether you like it or not. He’s always so protective towards you and his biggest fear is ever losing you. He could never imagine hurting you or having you get hurt by something or someone without him being there to rescue you in time. A lot of insecurities were passing through his head, having that one voice in the dark corners of his mind, always wondering why? Why did you choose him? Bucky only saw his reflection nothing more but a weapon. A freak. When you found out about his insecurities, you made sure he was your first priority, always giving him extra love and attention. 

So, when weeks have passed by after that incident. Bucky found out you were a very affectionate person, more so before the two of you had gotten into a relationship. You loved feeling the arms of your lover; always feeling safe. You quickly learned that Bucky is now your personal coddler for warmth the first time he hugged you as you loved the sentiment and the thoughts of being held in a warm embrace. 

From then on, as Bucky kept pampering you, ignoring your protests and complaints, he made sure every need of yours was taken care of. Whenever Bucky feels like you are having a bad down overall, he would quietly take you to your guy’s shared bedroom and cuddle in silence, occasionally lazily tracing patterns and shapes to your back. Bucky was never the one to voice out his love, always thinking intimacy is better than a couple of futile words that cannot be compared to much love he has for you. If he wanted to, Bucky would shout out compliments and his love for you to the world yet it would never be enough. It would never be enough in his mind. You were his. And he would always make sure that his love is heard, whether he silently does so. The whole moment felt like a blur. Everything went by eerily quickly. Two years felt like two days being in a relationship together. Yet, Bucky is still the man who believes in, “Actions speak louder than words.” Nevertheless, he would never resist your charms and soft touches here and there. Those loving moments between the two of you as you cuddle in bed after a night full of passion, lazily tracing shapes and patterns on your guys' skin. Even if you had to do it in private, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[suphoshi]

LOVE YOU LIKE THIS | Byun Baekhyun x Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, maybe the tiniest little bit of angst

Word Count: 2,057

Baekhyun loved you in loud ways. He shouted it from mountain tops, made sure every God knew you were his, kissed you like you were the most perfect thing in the world. You loved him softly. Quietly. Kept him tucked safely under your arm away from everyone else. You would never be good enough for him. He loved you anyways.

--

“I love you.”

He says it in the way he tip-toes into the room at 10 p.m. after he puts the kids to sleep, letting you go to bed early after washing the dishes. He says it when he crawls into bed and pulls the blankets over your shoulders even though he knows you’re going to pull them off of him in the middle of the night. He says it when he watches you breathe, touches your cheek, kisses your forehead. His arms wrap around you for just a few seconds because he knows you can’t stand being held for too long while you sleep. This is how he loves you.

He rolls away onto his back after a few minutes and his soft snores follow soon after. Your eyes peek open to see him and you sit up, moving closer. Even like this, him asleep and laying on his back with his head faced away, you feel so whole. You mimic his action from before and pull the covers up over him, but it doesn’t feel like enough. It never does. Unlike him, it was always so hard for you to show the small ways you loved him. He had a way of filling your heart up with the simplest actions. Making you breakfast even when he was late for work, holding you while you cried, which was often. He tied your shoes when you didn’t even notice they had come loose. He loved everyone. Brought his sunshine smile everywhere he went. Made you laugh more than you ever thought was possible. He made you a mom to the most beautiful children on the earth. Every day, he did something to make you smile. Every day.

When you were five, your mom died. You weren’t even fully able to grasp what that meant then, but you knew she was gone. An absence in your life that would never be filled again. Soon after, your dad left. He was never a loving person to you, never really showed much interest even before your mom died, but still. He was your dad, and he was gone. Your grandma raised you alone. She wasn’t a tender and loving person, but still. She was all you had. She died when you were fifteen. You didn’t cry, but you felt her loss in the same way you felt your mothers. You moved in with your aunt after that. She never wanted you, but she felt obligated as your mother’s sister to at least let you stay through high school, which you did. During your senior year, you applied for every scholarship to get into college just so you could get away, studied harder than anyone. Took every part time job you could manage. Did anything to make ends meet. Four years later, you had a job at an accounting firm in Seoul as a secretary. You had an apartment to yourself, lived comfortably alone. It was enough.

You met Baekhyun at a movie theater. It was the last showing of some stupid cartoon that had terrible ratings.

“What movie has the least amount of people in it?” You asked and the employee looked at you curiously before checking. You can’t even remember the name of it, but you bought a ticket, a box of candy, and a large sprite. The theater was nearly vacant, exactly what you wanted, minus one person sitting in the back corner. You didn’t mean to intrude on their space, but the back row was your favorite spot. So, you sat as far away as you could and put your feet up on the seat in front of you while the  previews came on. It wasn’t long before your shoulders felt heavier, your eyes drooping.

It felt like the next day by the time your eyes opened again, the sound of someone clearing their throat jolting you awake. All of the lights in the theater were on now. Your candy and sprite sat completely untouched beside you.

“Excuse me?”

Your head snapped up at the voice and you pulled your legs off of the seat in front of you so fast that one of your shoes came off. The person beside you chuckled and climbed over the seat below you, grabbing your shoe.

“You okay?” He asked. You looked at him and he was wearing a mask, brown hair poking out from under the hood of his sweatshirt, falling into his eyes some. You nodded your head, holding your hand out for your shoe.

“You slept through the entire movie.” He said with a chuckle and you stared at him, unsure of why he would care.

“I don’t come to watch; I just like the sound.” You said, still waiting for him to hand your shoe back.

“The sound?” He questioned, and you nodded.

“Yeah. Like, the vibrations when it’s loud. I like the sound of it.”

He took that in for a second, humming and looking around before his eyes settled back on you.

“Interesting. You didn’t eat your candy.” He pointed out and you looked down at the unopened box beside you.

“I know. I just got off of work, so I was tired.” You said before looking back at him. “What about you? You seem to have paid a lot of attention to me during the movie, did you even watch?”

You could see the smile in his eyes, even with the mask on, and it made your heart jump.

“I didn’t come to watch either. I just like to be alone and I heard this movie was awful and it came out weeks ago, so I knew no one would be here.”

You were both quiet for a minute, just staring at each other. It scared you how comfortable you felt in that silence.

“Can I have my shoe back?” You asked and his eyes smiled again before handing it to you. You smiled to yourself as you stood up, gathering your things. He didn’t move. Just watched you. You pulled your bag over your shoulder and looked at him while you adjusted your shoe back on your foot.

“What?” You asked and he shook his head. Those eyes were going to be bad for you. You could feel it in the way your stomach kept flipping, over and over when you saw them.

“What’s your name?” He asked and you answered quickly, waiting for his in return.

“I’m Baekhyun.” He said. More silence. It was cute how awkward he seemed, like he didn’t know how to talk to a girl when he had nothing to worry about with you. A girl who never even spoke to a guy before.

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck before looking away. “Um, so. I come here every Tuesday.”

He said it so innocently that you softened for a second. Somehow, it was the nicest thing you’d ever heard even if he didn’t directly state what he meant by it. It brought the biggest smile to your cheeks and you nodded.

“Tuesday.” You repeated and he shook his head ‘yes’. You nodded in response before walking out.

You came back every Tuesday. At first, you both sat the same distance apart. Sometimes you slept, sometimes the movie ended up being funny, so you laughed. Sometimes you cried. The first time you did, Baekhyun moved to the seat beside you and handed you a napkin. You laughed because it was so embarrassing, but he said it was fine. Once that barrier was broken, he never sat anywhere but right beside you. Not much later, you started seeing him outside of the movies, texting and calling each other, talking about your lives. It was so hard to let him in the way you did, but Baekhyun did everything in his power to know the darkest parts of your heart, and you didn’t know how to make him stop (you didn’t really want him to).

Eventually, things changed from silent movie dates, to movie dates where you held hands. After that, he would walk you to your car, give you a hug. When he kissed you for the first time, you ran away because it brought tears to your eyes. It shocked you how tender and gentle he was. No one ever touched you like that before. He just smiled and watched you go. When you opened your phone that night before bed, scared and certain he would want nothing to do with you anymore, you cried again.

Baekhyun [ 22:37 ]:

You look so pretty in blue. And when you

smile. And when you cry. And when you run.

I hope you don’t run forever.

No one ever wanted you before, but the thought that Baekhyun wanted you filled that void in your life so quickly that it scared you. He was the most perfect person you had ever known. You grew up thinking you never deserved that kind of love, but he gave it to you despite that. And he never let you run again.

Now you’re staring down at him. Your husband, the father of your kids, your best friend, your favorite person in the whole world. You can’t help but cry. You don’t deserve him. You never will.

You sniffle too loud and he wakes up, eyes heavy, turning to face you.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, wrapping his fingers around your wrist. You shake your head and cry harder, not sure how to say all of the things you want to. ‘Thank you’, ‘Thank you for being there for me and the kids’, ‘Thank you for working so hard to keep everyone happy’, ‘Thank you for being my best friend’, ‘Thank you for loving me’.

“Babe,” he says sitting up now and pulling you onto his lap, pressing your head into his chest. “Why are you crying?”

His hand grips the back of your neck, holding you close, while his free hand rests on your lower back. He rubs gentle circles there, breathes love into your soul like it’s the only thing he knows how to do. It’s so easy for him to make you feel calm and you wonder if you’ve ever made him feel that way. If he feels the most at home in your arms, the way you do in his.

“Whatever it is, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” He mumbles into your shoulder and it only makes you cry harder. You grip him tightly and pray to a God you’re not even sure exists that he won’t ever take him away from you. No matter what it takes, you never want to live in a world without him.

All of those feelings sit inside your heart, beg for a way out, beg for a way to communicate to him the way you feel, but you just sit there silently. He grips your shoulders, pulling away from you a little to see your face. He wipes the tears from your eyes, kissing you lightly. His lips on yours ignite the same fire in your stomach they always have, even when they’re only there for a second. He doesn’t ask for more, just looks at you, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, brushing away your tears.

“I love you.” You say. And it’s in the way his eyes smile before his lips do that you know. He can hear your love in the same way you hear his.

He hears it in your eyes when you tear up while he sings the kids to sleep. He hears it when you make him take his vitamins before he leaves for work. He hears it when you play with his hair on the couch while you watch a movie. He hears it when you lay out his pajamas before he gets home and they always seem to match yours. He hears it just like you.

“I know.” He says and you pout your lip a little, tears filling your eyes again. He kisses you just like he did all of those years ago outside of the movie theater and it continues to amaze you that someone could touch you so gently. He lays you back down and you let him keep his arms around you now, because even though you hate being held while you sleep, it’s okay because it’s Baekhyun. And you want him to hold you forever.

--

Hi guys!! So this is the first kind of fic I have ever posted, and I really hope you guys enjoy!!! I was inspired by Valentine’s day and just felt filled with a lot of love, so this is what came from that. Please like or leave me some critiques/reblog, whatever it is you wanna do, I would really really appreciate it!!! Also, if no one told you how much they love you this v-day, please know I love you dearly from the bottom of my soul and I hope you all find your 2020 filled with 100000000x more love. Okay, that’s all, bye bye!

[janusdeceit-sanders]

Knight of Mine (Part 2)

wooooooo part two of KoM is here!!!

Part 1 Part 3

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: Swearing, description of injury

+~+~+

At least now the weather was nice. It was cold and damp, sure, but at least it wasn’t raining.

Roman only now realised the awkward situation he might be in. His arm around Virgil’s waist, Virgil’s arms around his shoulders. Roman was only offering help but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feel pretty bashful right now.

I mean there’s no reason to panic, said his reasonable thoughts, this is just a polite gesture. Plus there’s no need to get your personal feelings involved over such a simple gesture.

Meanwhile, there were sirens going off in another part of his mind.

Virgil reached out and pointed to the right, snapping Roman out of his thoughts. “Look,” he said, “that looks like a hill.”

Surely, there was a hill. It looked like one of the hills surrounding the east side of the kingdom. Which basically meant they have been walking the wrong way this whole time.

“Oh thank goodness,” Roman let out a breath, “this should make it easier to see how far we’ve got.”

They began to walk up the hill, but it wasn’t easy. Yes, Roman was strong but the ground was still wet from the rain and, Virgil already had enough trouble walking.

Virgil stopped and caught his breath, “You know what? Just go on without me-!”

Virgil suddenly found himself cradled in Roman’s arms, held up by the royal knight like a distressed damsel.

“It’s easier like this.” Roman shrugged and began walking up. Virgil knew the guy was strong but shit, Roman just lifted Virgil like he weighed nothing.

Roman walked up the hill slowly.

Once at a decent height, one where they could see above the treetops of the forest, Roman dropped Virgil and fell down on the dirt, tired.

Virgil tried to ignore the fact that Roman was hovering over him and instead focused on the fact that his clothes would now be dirty from being dropped.

"...I literally could've just stayed down there and waited for you." he said.

Roman was basically panting. "Yeah, you're probably right..."

Oh my God, stop, this is so stupid. Virgil thought. He just made Roman walk all the way up the hill, carrying him and now he couldn’t even have thanked him? Never mind all the other stupid thoughts in Virgil’s mind at the moment.

Roman had a goofy smile on his face. Was this really that amusing to him? He just carried Virgil up a hill for no reason.

Roman must have finally realised their current position because his smile dropped for a second and he stood up, offering a hand to Virgil. He took it hesitantly.

Roman turned around to look at the view. The forest seemed to stretch on for miles, the leaves creating a green blanket stretching all the way up to a large clearing. There, little houses and shops dotted the area. Little figures like ants could be seen, going about their ordinary lives. Further ahead was the castle. It stood tall, towering over the town, the biggest building there by far. The evening sun shined through the gaps between the towers of the castle, casting a dark shadow over its front. Behind the castle was even more village.

Roman let out a content sigh. That was a magnificent view.

He looked over to Virgil. Up here, the wind blew lightly at their clothes and hair. Virgil’s fringe uncovered his face. He seemed to be enjoying the view too... judging by his eyes and the way that his brows were furrowed so that he could see better but the look in his eyes was soft. It set Roman’s heart aflame.

“We should move on.” Virgil said and the look in his eyes was gone when he turned to Roman.

Roman snapped out of his daydream. “Y-yeah.”

“It’s getting late.”

“It is.”

“We should go.”

“Yes. We should.” Roman nodded lamely. Why did he get all flustered around Virgil all the time? Helping Virgil down the slippery hill, Roman wondered if those feelings would soon go away.

+~+~+

They continued on through the forest. This time, they knew which way they should be heading.

As they walked on, Virgil's foot seemed to only get worse and worse. At one point, after walking for about an hour straight, Virgil had to sit down on a fallen branch until his pain had passed. Roman decided to check his foot again.

Surely enough, when Virgil's boot and sock came off, they revealed a big purple bruise and lots of small marks from where the shoe brushed against Virgil's foot too much. That didn't look good.

Roman produced a bandage out of his bag and decided the best option was to wrap Virgil's leg up and hope that eased the pain. After all, they didn't have any other medical supplies with them.

Once that was done, Virgil could walk without extreme pain, so that was a win. It still hurt though but it was improvement. They carried on.

"...I'm sorry we're in this situation right now." Virgil spoke up. "If I hadn't tripped and fallen like an idiot, we wouldn't be here right now."

Roman felt a pang of guilt. "Virgil," he stopped walking and placed his hands on Virgil's shoulders, "you have absolutely nothing to worry about," he said seriously, "Please, don't blame yourself."

Roman could see tears glistening in Virgil's eyes but he didn't mentioned it. Virgil swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Roman let go and gave Virgil a small smile. He liked Virgil. He liked spending time with Virgil, that is. Roman just kept digging himself a deeper hole, didn't he? Anyway, he didn’t mind having to travel with Virgil for hours.

As they carried on, Roman decided to break the silence. "Nice weather we're having." he noted. The sun was now shining into the forest in between the leaves and branches, providing light and a touch of warmth.

"Are you seriously going to talk about the weather?"

Roman felt a stab of anxiety in his chest at the thought of him having just messed up a perfectly good silence. "Uh..."

"It's okay, dude." Virgil said with a hint of that same panic in his voice. He looked down at his hands and fidgeted a bit. Great, Roman screwed everything up.

They walked on a bit before Virgil sighed and spoke again, "What made you want to become a knight?" he asked.

That lit a little spark in Roman's chest. He loved talking about his dreams. "Well," he began, "I guess, when I was young I used to be a big believer in fairytales, and I always dreamed of being a prince or a knight..." he said, eyeing Virgil as he spoke. There was a soft smirk on Virgil's face. "But I've also always wanted to be an actor, and perform onstage for thousands of people." he said, "I guess, destiny just chose knighthood for me..."

Virgil was giggling to himself about something.

"What are you laughing at, Dark Knight?"

"Nothing." Virgil said but he couldn't wipe that grin off his face. That grin. "I'm just imagining you as a kid, playing knights with wooden swords and rocking horses."

Roman gasped lightly. "I'll have you know they were those toy wooden stick horses."

Virgil laughed again. "I could see you as an actor though," he said, "you're quite dramatic."

"Quite?!"

"Point proven.” Virgil grinned to himself as he teased.

“Well, what about you? Why did you decide to become a royal knight?” Roman asked.

“Well, I don’t believe in fairytales-”

“What?!”

“You don’t need to shout.” Virgil sighed, “My father was a knight, so I guess I just followed in his footsteps. Plus, it pays well, unlike any of the other jobs I have considered...”

Roman studied Virgil’s expression. “...Like art?” he asked.

“Yeah...”

Roman nodded. He understood what it felt like to have to take a different path instead of your most desired one. Acting wasn’t really something he could make a huge career out of for himself.

“I believe that you would be a wonderful artist, Virgil.” he said.

“Psh,” Virgil shook his head and smiled, “You haven’t even seen any of my shit drawings.”

“I’m sure they’re not that shit.”

“How could you know?”

“Because if you’re passionate about art, there’s no way it could be that bad.” said Roman. “If you love what you do, it’ll only ever turn out great.”

“That’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not.” Roman lifted a long hanging branch up so that they could pass through, “And when we get home, you’ll show me your art, and I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful.” he smiled softly.

“Home...”

“Yeah.”

The sun was setting at this point, and Roman knew they still had a while to go. They probably wouldn’t make it to the castle today, and they’d have to set up a temporary shelter for the night. Luckily, nothing that dangerous lived in these forests. Or at least, nothing would attack you here unless you gave it reason to.

“Let’s move on before it gets too dark.”

~+~+~+~

@set-phasers-to-cuddle @galaxy-warping

[dark-unimaginably-stupid-kids]

Getting Undressed

As usual, Klance, Voltron...and this one IS A ONE SHOT okay. It’s second person. that’s it this is done. :| I bring you 2.5 pages of Lance whining, and then 6.5 pages of boys being ridiculous. Also making out and Keith is a lil touch starved okay bye. Synopsis: Lance can’t stand Keith’s Blade of Marmora suit. (Supposed to be set after season five because Lance is just crazy high strung and Keith is tired.) ---

You want him to take off that suit.

He looks at you, violet eyes quizzical as ever and dares to ask, “Why?”

Why?

Why.

Why…!?

Because that suit makes you angry.

Because that suit is everything wrong with your life right now.

Because it’s almost like every time he puts that awful thing on it’s just another step closer to death.

Because it’s almost like that’s exactly why he wears it.

It’s almost like he planned it.

Because its hard and soft in all the wrong places.

Because it will never protect him the way you can.

Because it’s a reminder of what he chose over yo—over your family. Over Voltron, you mean. Because you aren’t so stupid.

He isn’t here for you and he never has been, there’s no point in trying to put emphasis on something that isn’t there.

Your eyes narrow at him despite how it hurts you to do so. Because he’s not angry. He’s not trying to pick a fight. He has, in the past, on occasion spurred on by your own goading, but lately he hasn’t.

Maybe it’s because you mean so much less to him now. You don’t even have that together anymore.

This thought hardens your resolve, keeps your eyes narrow to combat his near doe-eyed stare.

How does he do that. How does he look at you like that.

“There’s enough negativity around here, Mullet.” You bite out.

“I can see that,” He replies, a little too quickly.

Oh. Maybe he is trying to pick a fight.

Maybe you miss that.

“And what’s that supposed to mean!?” Your voice has already hit that higher pitch. Are you that tired? Your shoulders are so tensed.

Why has it been so long since you’ve seen him. And why did you react like this. And why are you saying stupid things like demanding he take the suit off.

And yet when you reach out to him as if to shove him, noticing he doesn’t flinch or move away from you at all, you simply reach into his hood and push it down. Your fingers grazing the back of his neck on the recoil and you catch motion in your periphery like his eyelashes fluttering.

You turn your gaze downward regardless, your fingertips buzzing.

He brings his arms up, wraps them around himself in typical mullet fashion.

“I didn’t realize it offended you so much,” He mumbles.

You feel your cheek twitch. Your foot taps impatiently though you aren’t sure what you’re waiting for.

He raises his head, you catch the motion even though you aren’t looking directly at him, he makes to move toward you. You return his earlier trust and don’t move, but unlike you he doesn’t go through with whatever he’d wanted to do. His fingers dig into his arms, he shakes his head.

He stares at you for a long moment and you dare to peer at him from the corner of your eye.

He catches you. His brows furrow in his confusion, “Are you…”

Okay?

It’s unspoken but you’re sure that’s what he wants to ask you.

Maybe he can see the tension in your back.

“I’m fine. I just hate that suit.” You hiss before suddenly your turning, aiming to walk out of the rec-room.

But he grabs your arm so quickly you stumble back, nearly falling into him.

“I’ll take it off then.” He says, just as quickly, not even waiting for you to growl out some remark about how he’d almost made you trip.

“I won’t wear it while I’m here, okay?”

While he’s here.

While he’s here.

The implication being that he won’t always be here. Where he’s supposed to be. By your side.

“Yeah whatever,” you respond, all your fight ebbing away at the thought he’ll be gone again soon.

Running head first into danger. Brash. Impulsive. Suicidal.

Keith.

You try to walk away again but he hasn’t released your arm. You stare at it. You feel your skin burning even under his gloves and your own armor.

Maybe if you’re lucky Pidge will walk back in, forgot something on the couch maybe. Cut the tension.

You’re not lucky. It’s still just the two of you.

You eye his fingers. You miss how you used to always be able to see them because of his stupid fingerless gloves. The ones he never wears anymore because he’s always in that stupid suit.

“I’ll take it off now,” he starts again, a faint flush brushing his cheeks, so light you can almost pretend you’re imagining it. “I just need a little help with the clasp if… if you don’t mind.”

You raise a brow but turn to look at him directly, you’re sure you’re not imagining that blush and your bad mood is draining as fast as your fight.

“…Are you asking me to help undress you?”

His eyes dart to the ground and his cheeks get decidedly pinker, “You’re the one who asked me to get undressed.”

…Fair.

You cut the space between the two of you and turn him around so you can face his back, presumably to find that tricky clasp he was talking about. But you don’t find a clasp, the back of the armor is simply rounded, smooth, nice.

Your eyes dart downward for the briefest second because yes, Keith’s entire back, lower back in particular, is nicer.

“Uhm?” You offer.

He hangs his head, a mumbled “it’s at the front actually…” your only response.

You turn him around again and he’s forced to raise your head when you look him over again, your hands on his shoulders.

You still don’t see it, “Why do you need help with a clasp in your front? How are you this useless?”

You don’t mean it as badly as it sounds coming out of your tired lips and thankfully he doesn’t take it that way.

“It’s just. It’s on the inside and…” He pulled the breast plate forward a bit from the cloth part of his suit and pointed his head straight down to try and stare into darkness, “I can’t see it, so it just—I fumble with it for like fifteen minutes every day I swear it—”

You don’t need to acknowledge his darkening cheeks to realize you’re staring at him. You’re not even going to stop.

You’re just. Astounded.

You’re astounded with the power this boy has over you.

You’re amazed by his ability to go from “stoic space emo” to… this. This awkward adorable mess.

You inhale deeply.

You look at his eyes even though he is doing everything in his power not to directly look at you.

You nod to yourself.

You love him.

That’s just the fact.

No one else can make you so angry and so happy in two seconds flat. No one else can get so deep under your skin they can nestle next to your heart like he can.

“Alright, let me see,” you lower one hand form his shoulder and look down into the darkness between the breastplate and the skin tight suit beneath it.

You can see… something vaguely clasp like, toward the left side over the ribs.

Man, that must be uncomfortable.

“Okay. I get it. Come into the light a bit.” You tell him as you finally release him and start removing your own armor, starting with the bulky parts on your arm.

“W-what are you—” He stumbled out.

You blink at him, slowly.

“Taking off my armor?”

“Yeah but.”

You blink at him again, just for the effect of it. You watch him bite his lip in his frustrated confusion because at the very least he knows your look means there’s something he’s missing.

You’re not sure he can be any more endearing than he is at moments like these.

“Armored wrist. Will not fit,” You finally inform him.

His mouth makes that perfect little O shape and you need to breath deeply again. Each one releases so much tension from your shoulders. Bless this stupid dangerous boy.

You move to sit on the long circular couch and motion for him to join you. It takes him a moment to remember why and in the mean time you roll your eyes and remove your own chest piece if only because you feel like it has the tiniest possibility of getting in the way too. The space allowed by Keith’s ridiculous suit is small and you’re probably going to have to squeeze yourself up to him to get at it.

Not that that’s a bad thing.

Once he finally takes his spot beside you, you prop one leg beneath you and turn to face him. While you pull on the breastplate again he adjusts so he’s sitting on both of his legs and looking straight at you, his face still pointed down so he has to look at you from beneath his lashes and you wonder if this is something else he does on purpose.

You pull the armor as far as it will go, which isn’t much, and you reach in with the other.

You suddenly realize why he has so much trouble, the top of the breastplate presses into your arm and you immediately wonder how uncomfortable the entire thing must be to wear. But then the back of your hand is brushing against the suit which is impossibly soft even against Keith’s hard chest. Maybe that balances it out.

You try to see where the clasp is again, pushing into Keith just like you thought you’d have to. It’s not as fun as you’d briefly considered but that’s not to say it isn’t entirely.

Your faces are very close and despite staying very still Keith looks so overwhelmed he might bolt any second.

You’re not sure when you fell in love with him exactly. You’re sure it must have happened ages ago though. Was it the conversation in his bed room? The lion switch? Was it during any of your missions together? When the castle was acting up and you had to brace yourself against each other to try and escape an elevator?

Was it the bonding moment you still only barely remember despite it being the first time you held his hand?

Was it when you watched him grin against the handlebars of a hover bike and out maneuver trained garrison officials?

Was it when you heard about his expulsion and you witnessed the absolutely horrific state of Iverson’s face in the few weeks before it was decided you would take his place?

Was it when you first met and those violet eyes stared right through you?

…You grit your teeth.

No, probably not then

Probably closer to the night on the hoverbike.

You lean your head forward, pressing your forehead side against his and pushing him. “You’re in my light,” You clarify at his amusing squawk.

He bumps you back anyway.

So you do it again, he’s still in your light.

This time your cheeks brush.

His skin is amazingly soft and it flares your temper again because how dare he have such perfect skin when he doesn’t do anything to it.

Maybe throwing yourself into life or death situations is good for skin.

You’re about to shake your head, force yourself not to think about it, not feed that stupid little bitter thought, but he’s nudged you again just as your finger grazed the clasp.

“Are you serious!?” You hiss, because of course, you lost it now.

“W-w-well you started it!” He cries.

You push his head with your own again and this time go so far as to lean your forehead against his now bared neck to better look on the inside.

At this angle, the clasp even reflects the light. Score.

You can feel his throat bob as he swallows on nothing.

It takes you a second but you’re finally able to unlock the damn thing and suddenly your arm has much more room.

“You’re welcome,” you say flatly, raising your head again.

This was a mistake.

His chest is heaving, his eyes are nearly shut, his lips are loosely parted, and his neck is still bared to you.

It’s like he’s frozen, like he doesn’t realize he can move again.

You reach up, your fingers graze his neck. What you’re doing now is extremely risky but you can’t help it. Maybe it’s the influence of the red lion, but you want to act on your impulses and this is your impulse.

You walk your fingers lightly up his neck and along his jaw until you’re cupping his chin, your middle finger tucked just under his earlobe which you may or may not rub as you tilt his head back down toward you.

“You alright there…?” You ask him.

His voice is breathier than you’d ever heard it, “I…uhm… no.”

You strengthen your grip on his chin a bit and this tiny but absolutely delicious noise comes out of Keith’s throat.

“It’s just—I don’t think we’ve ever—I don’t think anyone’s ever—uhm…”

“Is your neck sensitive, Keith?” you offer the stumbling mess in front of you.

He sags in defeat and nods against your hand.

“Right, then I’ll stop touching it,” You finish, releasing him and pulling away.

But then, Red was Keith’s lion first.

The loose chest piece slams into your own unprotected chest and Keith winces too, possibly because the thing is highly uncomfortable, but it’s not enough to stop him.

His arms are wrapped around your neck and he’s pushed you back against the seat of the couch. Out of reflex you reach around him, your arms wrapped tightly around a slim waist that slides against you in the same way his lips do.

They’re soft, much like the rest of his skin, much like his hair which is falling into your face now, much like his eyes, and much like his voice when he talks to you.

You’d smack yourself if there was a possibility it wouldn’t alarm Keith, but at this rate you know that’s impossible.

He bites at your lip and you don’t put up an ounce of fight as his tongue slips into your mouth.

Because it takes that tongue massaging yours, those tiny noises from Keith’s throat, that hand gripping tightly at your hair, for you to realize that…

Well, you’ve been an idiot.

Because all of Keith’s blushing and stuttering from the second you got on the castle ship make sense.

Because maybe you have reasons to hate this stupid suit digging into your chest (and taking points off of what is still probably the best day of your life) but none of those reasons can be because the suit is some kind of proof that he doesn’t care about you.

Because—ah god he kisses like he’s starving, and you might love that—he absolutely does care about you.

He has from the beginning.

Ah damn it and now you’re going to have to thank the stupid suit for this finally happening, aren’t you?

It presses into your rib and you groan which just encourages the boy on top of you to press into you harder.

Quiznak.

You love him but shit.

You reluctantly pull away, pushing him back with one hand on his shoulder and the look on his face almost kills you but you power through it.

“Not stopping. Pausing. Cause this thing.” You flick the hard chest piece, “This thing has to go.”

Keith flushes in embarrassment and nods, sitting up and reaching down to pull the piece over his head himself but you shake your head.

“Arms up.” You tell him.

His lips are a deep bruised red and his eyes are blown wide and as you sit back up and lift the breastplate over his head you can’t help but wonder how it’s possible someone who had the ability to look so utterly beautiful could want to kiss you so desperately.

…Well, a caballo regalado no se le miran los dientes.

One of Keith’s arms wrap around his now slightly exposed chest. That suit really doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. Not that it matters, you used to change around each other all the time.

Granted, you’ve never kissed before…

You stare at him for a long moment before leaning forward and bumping his nose with your own.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He replies, too quickly, too anxiously.

You chuckle. He shivers.

“If you’re cold I can fix that.”

This is the real defining moment. That kiss? That kiss could have been anything. But when Keith flushes beet red at your little flirtations remark and stutters out an attempted, “c-could you now…?” instead of looking unimpressed and dismissive like everyone before him…

Well.

You already knew you loved him.

Now you knew you were screwed.

And now that the most offensive part of the suit was out of the way…

“Yeah.”

You reach forward, grab a hold of his thighs and pull him into your lap. This time you initiate the kiss and the feeling of his warm chest pressed against yours is so much better than you could have imagined.

He arches his back as if he can’t be close enough to you and you grip him tightly to let him know you agree.

You find out later that Pidge did actually forget something and had, at some point or another, attempted to enter the rec room again. Of course, she had immediately back pedaled. But whatever, that was fine, you’ll blame the suit for that too.

[obsessionsrn]

I Don’t Hate You...

So, this is the first drabble, scenario type thing I’m posting on here. There’s going to be some author notes at the bottom. Also, I didn’t really edit it so…if there are errors or there is an awkward sentence just go with it.

Pairing: Reader x Yoongi


Genre: Angst


The last thing you hear from him is, “I hate you.”


   He was doing it again. He knew you hated it and that it bugged the hell out of you, but he continued to do it. You watched as he continued to tap his foot on his desk while clicking his pen. You had already asked him a couple times to stop, but he went right back to it. You knew it was something stupid to be irritated over, it was just so annoying. 

   “Yoongi,” you call out for the nth time.

   He glances back at you, halting his movements. 

   "I’ve told you thousands of times, can you stop with the kicking and clicking?” You ask, again. 

   "If it’s bothering you so much, go to a different room or put on some headphones,” he shrugs. 

   "I can’t work with noise,” You narrow your eyes at him. 

   "Then why did you come over to work? You knew that it might be distracting coming over, so, why did you?” he sets his pen down now fully facing you. 

   "Oh, sorry for wanting to spend some time with my boyfriend. I thought it would be nice to see you and work. I guess I was wrong in my assumption,” You stand from your spot and start to shuffle your things into a pile. 

   "We’re not even spending time together! We’re both sitting here doing our own thing, it doesn’t even feel like we’re in the same room,” he stands as well. 

   "It doesn’t matter if we talk or not! We’re together, that’s all that matters!”

   "It would be nice to spend time with you without you working all the time!” 

   "I have to get things done, I’m still in school! I have to work!” 

    "It’s always work, work, work with you.” 

   "You are being a complete hypocrite right now, Yoongi. You can’t say that when you spend days, maybe even weeks, holed up in your studio working.” 

   "I have to, to keep this place. Unless you’d much rather me living on the street? I also have to because you enjoy nice dinners and clothes, and all that.” 

   "I am not materialistic, so don’t even say that you have to work to get me shit.” 

   "Whatever the reason is, I have to work unless I want to have no job.” 

   "I have to work as well to get a job! If I don’t get a degree, then what am I supposed to do? Don’t make your work seem like it’s any more important than mine.” 

   He shakes his head and turns back to his computer shutting a few files, ignoring what you said. 

   "You’re an asshole, you know that?” You burn holes into the back of his head before shoving your stuff into your bag. 

   "So, just because I want to spend time with my girlfriend without her working, I’m suddenly an asshole?” he says. 

   "That is not what this argument it about. It’s about how you make my work seem inferior to your work. That it is okay for you to constantly work, but if I do it, it’s wrong and bad.”

   "I didn’t even say that!” 

   You stare at him dumbfounded. 

  "You legit just said that five minutes ago! ‘It’s always work, work, work with you’! and ‘oh, it’s okay that I constantly work because, hey, my work is actually important’” 

   "You’re really stupid, aren’t you? I did not say that, so stop putting words into my mouth.” 

   "That’s what you might as well have said. And stupid? At least I got into university, unlike somebody.” 

   "You’re a fucking asshole. I really fucking hate you right now.” 

   "Good, because the feeling is mutual.” 

    You can’t seem to get out of there as fast as you’d like to. The air is suffocating and angry thoughts circulate through your brain. The door behind you slams making it seem like it was going to fall off its hinges. It doesn’t fully register because your whole body is heated up with a red hot anger. The elevator would take an eternity to wait for, so you opt for the stairs instead. Whenever you would reach the bottom three of a flight, you would hop down and turn quickly to get down those concrete stairs as fast as you could. You get into lobby and the main door stands proudly at the end of the room. Dark gray clouds circle the sky and make it dark outside but you ignore the feeling in your stomach telling you to go back, to just go back and apologize. 

   You shove the door open letting cold and wet take a hold of you. Good, the weather can share my mood. You don’t know where you’re going but you walk. One that doesn’t look rushed but one that doesn’t look like you’re lost either. He’s a fucking asshole who doesn’t know boundaries and thinks he can step all over me. You glare at the swaying trees which look to be almost terrified of you as you pass by them. Wind howls around you like a bunch of wolves trying to communicate with each other. It’s not fair that he thinks he can be like that. Why does he think his work is so much more important than mine? 

   Your nails dig into your hands tightly which will end up causing indents to appear later. You don’t know where you are anymore and causes you to take note of the empty street, the loud wind and few cars, the smell of rain, and wetness on your skin. Your eyes dart around the street but you push past the unsettling feeling and continue. Eventually you get to a place that you’re familiar with, which makes your heart rate pick up. Quickly doing a check of the road, you dash across the road but obviously not quick enough. Time seems to stop as the car comes hurdling towards you at a speed which it can’t stop. The rain pounds in your ears and your body has turned into stone. It’s too slippery for this car to stop. The screeching tires meet your ears and your eyes seem to have wonderful vision suddenly because you can see the driver screaming. One last thought flits through your mind, does he really hate me?
 

A call. This is what causes his whole world to fall away.

   "Is this Min Yoongi?” a voice of a female asks. 

   "Yes,” he replies easily. 

   "Hi, this is Seoul Hospital and I’m contacting you due to an accident that has included your significant other. You’re listed as her emergency contact and hence I’m contacting you. It would be ideal for you to come to the hospital as soon as you can, sir.” 

   Slowly the world starts to slow. Accident? 

  "A-an accident? What kind of accident?” he grips the phone tightly.

   She was silent for a moment. 

  "A car accident,” she states, “I think it would be best for you to come to the hospital to get the rest of the-” 

   "No. I-I need to know everything now,” he sat onto the bed gripping the sheets beside him. 

   "She was in an accident with a car near the Han River. She was crossing the street and I assume she didn’t see the car and she rushed into the street only to see the car coming towards her at the last minute.” 

   "What’s her condition?” 

   Silence again. 

   His hands were shaking. 

   "She’s in critical condition.” 

   The dam bursts and a sound of choking makes it way out of his throat. A sob. An ugly sob. 

   "Sir, are you okay?”

   "Am I okay? The love of my life is going to fucking die. Am I okay?” he laughs hysterically.

   "Sir, please calm down. You’re currently going through shock. I suggest you try to settle and please don’t do anything rash or try to drive in your condition.” 

  "Thanks for the advice. I got to go. Thanks for calling.” 

   "Sir-” He ends the call with shaking hands. 

   He throws his phone across his room not giving a fuck if it broke. With the sound it made he assumes it did break. He jumps to his feet and starts grabbing anything near him and throwing it at the walls and door. Glass shatters, walls gain new windows to opposite rooms, clothes become scattered in his room. He goes through his apartment like a hurricane. He knows that he’ll regret this but his anger is blinding him. I fucking let her leave. I made her leave. This wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t fight! My last words were that I hated her. I don’t hate her. 

   "I don’t hate her!” he shouts, wetness kissing his cheeks. 

   He sits in the middle of his living room. Chaos surrounding him. 

   "I need to see her one last time,” he mutters. 

   Legs wobbly, he heads towards his door. He slowly goes down the stairs and out the door towards his car. Am I capable of driving? He wonders. Screw it. He gets behind the wheel and the engine hums to life. The rain has stopped and the windshield wipers happily clean his front window. Then he starts driving. Thoughts plague his brain. 

   "How am I going to break the news to her family?” he whispers to himself. 

   Once he gets to the hospital, the rest is hazy. He remembers asking for you, showing his ID, then being lead through the clean, sickening hallways. A doctor steps outside the room shaking her head at a nurse that waits near the door. Yoongi watches the action confused until he realizes that the room the doctor came from is the room they’re currently heading to. The doctor sends the nurse away and he leaves silently. The doctor looks up to see Yoongi and the receptionist, causing her face to shift into a cringe. 

   "Dr. Lee,” she holds out a hand to him. He takes it gently and stares at the door behind her. 

   "Min Yoongi,” he barely gets out.

   "You are the emergency contact? The significant other?” 

   "Y-yes.” "Is her family available currently?” 

   "They live in America.” 

   "Oh, I see.” 

   Silence sits between them.

  "What’s she like?” he chokes out already knowing the answer. 

   She lets out a sigh and clasps her hands in front of her. 

   "She…has departed.” 

   His breath leaves his lungs, his eyes widen, his hands start shaking and he’s gasping for air. Stupid lungs, breath in and out. You do it all the time. He can’t catch his breath and the breathing is too quickly paced. Hyperventilating. He’s hyperventilating. Why can’t I feel my feet and hands? What’s going on? His whole body seems to be tingling with pins and needles. He leans to stabilize himself on the wall. Dr. Lee is getting too close to him and asking questions and he wants her to stop talking. He wants to lash out and tell her to shut up. He can’t seem to speak though. He’s too consumed with this overwhelming sense of panic. Then it starts to dissipate. Slowly, he starts to breath normally and he gains feeling back. His vision starts to become up right again, and he becomes less light headed. Dr. Lee’s voice can now be heard clearly now. 

   "It’s okay, calm down,” she soothes. 

   "I-I,” he’s gasping out.


  "You just experienced a panic attack, but you’re okay. Everything is all right,” she rubs his arms. 

   "Okay? She’s dead! She’s dead and it’s my fault!” he shakes Dr. Lee’s hands off him and stumbles back. 

   "Mr. Min, you need to calm down or else we’ll have to take precautions,” her eyes narrow while moving towards him. 

   "Right, p-public place. I-I’m okay. Let me just see her. Please,” he moves forward. 

   Dr. Lee nods and he follows her eagerly into the room. She lies there lifeless. Her skin doesn’t have the same glow that it did when she was alive, it’s toned down now. Yoongi carefully moves toward her. As he stands right beside her bed he gently takes her hand in his. He stares down at her then kisses her forehead.

   
“I’m so sorry. I don’t hate you,” his voice breaks.

Author Note: So, yes, I am aware that they don’t tell you the condition over the phone because people can be stupid and end up doing stupid shit while in a state of panic but I needed him to mess up his apartment. Also, anything else that doesn’t make sense, just shhh,  I sort of rushed through this, and it’s really short. I apologize. I don’t know what else to say. I hope you semi enjoyed it? 

[michelleloc17]

Road Trip Up North

"We're lost, aren't we?" "...Uhh, yeah. We're definitely lost." The choice of going on this road trip with Johnny was not ideal in Ash's own personal list of things she planned to do. It had been a polite acceptance out of impulse, and there she found herself, thousands of miles away from home with a gorilla driving in the drivers seat. The male had been talking about this trip for weeks to the porcupine, of him visiting some relatives up in Seattle. Every year he explained he and his dad would travel up North to see them, but now since his dad was, well--- He had no one to go with him. He had considered Rosita, but knew it'd be stupid to bring a mother of 25 all the way to Washington just to miss her kids. Then Gunter was next on his list, but he dismissed that immediately. As much as he loved the German pig, he felt that he wouldn't be able to handle Gunter for that long, especially when driving. Meena was a no immediately because of her mother, which Johnny didn't really mind, he respected that. Mike was who knows where, probably Johnny assumed with that pretty mouse lady he had only met once. She was quiet, but a bit vague in her tone when she talked. Her eyes seemed kind and mischievous, unlike the cold and stern glare of her counterpart. Obviously Johnny considered Mr. Moon, but with him always busy with the theater he also reconsidered. It also wasn't like Johnny had friends, or real friends as it is. Most of the animals he encountered during his teenage life were members of his fathers gang. So no one was truly close to him. He had dreaded asking the porcupine, only really because he was just embarrassed. Ash was completely amazing in his eyes. She was confident and strong. She took nothing from no one, and her singing held so much passion in it. To his dismay, his feelings over came his logic, and he really began to like her for more than just her voice. He really liked her. But the gorilla considered Ash's recent split with a long time boyfriend, Lance, as she explained was a jerk who only cared about himself. Only based on the stories he's been told of him, he was afraid of if he ever encountered him, he'd been spending time with his dad in prison. He smiled to himself. It would be worth it. Sooo worth it, to make Ash smile. But the gorilla frowned, staring into the darkness ahead of him from the drivers seat. The two had been in an awkward silence for most of the ride, which had only been about 7 hours at the moment, with Ash poking at her phone and Johnny softly humming along to songs that played on the radio. The porcupine sighed softly and placed her phone down, turning to Johnny who was staring at the road. Ash wanted to laugh, because he looked kind of cute being so focused. Cute? She meant stupid. Ash picked up her phone again and grimaced. Her battery was low, and she had been scrolling through apps for what seemed like forever. "There's a portable charger somewhere around here," The gorilla spoke after some more silence. The female gazed up at him for a moment but smiled, reaching down to grab the said charger. "Thank you, dork." She mused quietly, plugging her phone in and setting it down on the dash board. Then, there was a low growl. It shocked even Johnny to the point where he slowed down a bit, glancing only for a moment to the porcupine, and laughed. "Was that...was that your stomach?" He let out a choked laugh, trying to focus himself on the road again. Ash felt her brown cheeks warm up as she clutched her stomach, embarrassed. "Sh-Shut up! We haven't eaten since we left California! That was like 10 in the morning." She retorted with angry venom spitting from her lips, an agitated flame sparking in her core. Johnny would be smart not to fan those flames. So instead he nodded. "Heh...yes you're right. We can stop by somewhere to grab a bite. There's a little town about three miles away from where we're at." He assured, which made the porcupine calm slightly. "...that's good. You know a lot about the road." "Haha, that's right. I know this road backwards and forwards. That's why I didn't need a GPS." Johnny beamed, feeling pride swell in his heart and his own cheeks grow warm. The female rolled her eyes and glanced forward to the road, watching as each line on the pavement quickly passed them. She was far from home, far from the theater. She had always been far from home though. When she had met Lance she was fresh out of high school without any clue what to do with her life, other than music. She had been living in Massachusetts at the time with her dear folks who were extremely overprotective. So when she met a punk by the name of Lance, her parents were a little less than happy. Also being a rebellious teen, she regular fought with her parents, leaving tense air between them. It had been almost three years since she left, and she hadn't the nerve to visit. Ash felt a little bad for tuning Johnny out, for he had been talking, something about family? She decided to listen in again. "---me and my old man visit the family once a year when the weather gets cold," he explained, feeling his own stomach groan at the sight of a diner as he pulled into a parking space. "My family is originally from Britain you see, but we also got American family in the North West. The closest family I've got." The gorilla hopped out and shut the door, followed by a quiet Ash. "Hey Ash." ... "Ash?" ... "Yo, Ash!" Johnny called out, raising his voice a bit, startling the female out of her daze. "What? Wha-- did the waitress come by?" She stuttered, fumbling for the menu to look at it. Johnny gazed at her intently from across her and pursed his lips. "Uhh yeah, the waitress came by here." "Twice." Feeling her heart sink Ash scrunched up her nose in embarrassment, rubbing her forehead softly with the tips of her paw. The gorilla hummed quietly, gazing around for a moment. Did she even want to be here? He began to doubt himself like he always did. Does she want to be here with me? "Ash, you okay?" He questioned gently, feeling a bit more enthusiastic as he saw her lips curl up in a gentle but tired smile. "Johnny I'm fine, really. Just hungry." So he left it at that. Back on the road again Johnny could tell just by her body language the porcupine was not alright. They had eaten sure, but something was still eating at her. He constantly glanced at her with his hands gripped at the wheel, turning sharply, soon Johnny realized something. He didn't know where they were going. "Uh, Ash... did you see that exit name we just took?" Johnny asked, hoping that she'd say-- Exit 224. "We just went through exit 225." Oh my God. "O-Oh...okay alright." The gorilla stuttered, breath catching as he gazed around the scene in front of him. It was a road he didn't know, a stretch of pavement he didn't understand. How did he end up taking the wrong exit? The biggest problem, he now realized, that the road he took was a one way lane, meaning there was no way he could take a U turn. He could, if he wanted his car to get stuck in shrub and trees. The porcupine could tell immediately something was wrong. One, Johnny wasn't humming to the radio, and two he looked like he was about to cry. Then, his foot slowly pressed on the break, and they stopped. Gazing around, Ash felt some fear shudder through her, but she maintained her cool, gazing at the gorilla. "Hey Johnny." "Yeah, Ash?" "We're lost, aren't we?" "...Uhh, yeah. We're definitely lost." Ash let out a small sigh and glanced to the eerie road in front of her, then back to her phone. "Hm, it's almost midnight. What's the gas looking like?" Ash questioned, holding her phone in her hand as a defeated Johnny tiredly gazed at the meter. "We're half empty." He muttered lowly. He was beyond embarrassed. The girl he liked here in his car with him, stuck on a long dirt road with no way to know where to go. "Do you have any signal on that phone, Ash?" Johnny tried to be optimistic. If she had signal they could call someone or use the phones GPS. But when the porcupine frowned, he sighed. "I'm so sorry, Ash." Johnny apologized after a moment of silence. His head was buried in his hands as he spoke, so his accented voice was muffled. "You're stuck here with me all because I didn't want to travel alone." "...Stop it." Ash ignored his apology and crossed her arms, grinning. "If I didn't want to go with you, I just would've said right? Traveling with you was fun, and it helped me think about a lot of things, like my family too," Ash reached behind her seat and pulled over two blankets that they packed, handing one to Johnny. "Don't apologize. We'll get out of this, trust me. I think we'll feel better if we sleep, so just turn off the car and lock it so you can save the gas, and we can decide what to do by morning." Ash giggled as she settled into the seat of the car, covering herself with the blanket. Reaching out, the porcupine poked Johnny's nose and smiled. "So sleep." "...thanks Ash." "You're welcome. Now sleep." The next morning, the two could see better in the sunlight and found their way back to the main road. In no time Johnny reunited with his family in Seattle and Ash was toured all the pretty sights of the Evergreen State. Driving back to California, more prepared this time, the two stopped by many sights to see while also stopping by San Francisco and Disneyland. A week had passed since their crazy drive up North, and everything was back to normal. Johnny smiled brightly as he stepped quietly into Ash's practice room, happily hearing her strum on the strings. "Hey dork." He called out, making the porcupine turn with a grin. "Hey, that's my nickname for you." She laughed, poking him as he walked closer. Johnny nodded, sitting in an empty chair and stretching his legs as Ash continued to him something he didn't recognize. "A new song?" "Yeah?" "Bout what?" "...about you." "What." It was a great ride up North for Johnny and Ash, even with its ups and downs. Besides, now Ash found a buddy for her to bring up to Massachusetts later on in the summer. Johnny wouldn't mind. Wouldn't he? But this time, they're taking a plane. @elceetheporcupine I hope you like it!!

[straight-ballin]

The Judging

I saw a writing prompt by @writing-prompt-s and this is the story i wrote off of it

     All I could remember was the ding sound, and then blackness. Blacker than the darkest night, but no stars to illuminate. Darker than black silk, so dark that I couldn’t see a foot in front of me. In an instant, it whitened. Whiter than the snow during a blizzard. Whiter than my mother's smile, whiter than the flash on my camera.    A voice whispered in my ear, “Welcome to your fate.”    All I could manage to spit out was, “What?”    A group of laughter filled my ears and gave me a splitting headache worse than when I woke up from my most horrifying dream. A new voice spoke this time “These stupid freshies. They can never admit they’re dead.”    Dead? Surely that couldn't be right. Not me, not Milo Fredricks. I'm only 27, or was I 27? I don't even know anymore.    The silence was almost more painful than the laughter. “Um, I'm not dead.” Laughter emerged from the silence again, this time louder, and more painful.    “Please, this will be easier if you just admit your death.”    “I'm so excited for his judgment time,” one voice says.    “Judgement for what?” I say, absolutely lost.    “Where you’ll be placed, silly!”    “Where I’ll be placed? What are you talking about?”    A familiar and strong voice chimes in “Trust me when I say, this is going to be interesting. Adira, you may enter now.”    I was already frozen in the brightness of the room, but the fact that this man just invited Adira to enter the room, I was utterly paralyzed. What was this sick game? Who are the voices encouraging people of my past and horrible memories to come back to me? I tried to cover my ears, drown out all sound, but there was no sound to drown out, and I couldn't move.    The strong voice spoke again “First judge, Adira Adams, the person you were cruelest to.”    With a voice as sweet as lemonade on a hot summer day, she spoke, “Hello?”    If there was ever a god, he was not helping me out now.    “You could answer me, you owe me that.”    “Look, I know what I did was wro-”    “Wrong? You make that word sound like a joke.”    Her voice was not as soft anymore. I inhaled, “Okay, I was a horrible person. I treated you like garbage every day. I only did it because I was jealous. You were so kind, and smart, and funny. I couldn't compare.”    “Jealous? All those years of hatred because of jealousy? You pushed me into the water on a field trip, and called me horrible names. You told the teachers at a dance that I spiked the punch, when that was you.” These memories that she brought back pained me. I still can't believe I did that. I had so much hatred in my heart from my family, and I took it out on her. My parents trusted my grandfather very well, but little did they know the things he would do to me while he  "babysat" me. I would sit in my room and watch their car drive away, while hearing him creep up the stairs. He would take his belt and whip me just for the fun of it. After years of torture from him, I finally told my parents. Unlike other parents in abusive situations, they believed me. He went to jail and ended up dying there. Unfortunately, my damage to Amira was already done.    “I know these words are probably empty to you, and that you are still disgusted by me, which I completely understand, you have zero reason to accept me after all the pain I caused you, but from the bottom of my dark, hatred filled heart, I am sorry. Genuinely. I can't even fathom myself doing that to you now. And I completely understand some horrible future for me. Some godawful fate, a place of pure torture.”    She laughed, “Milo, you are ignorant. I could never ever send you to a place of torture. Not after the years I endured of it. Milo, you filled me with pain, but it turned me into the person I am. I forgive you, Milo.” Tears welled up in my eyes, there was no point to pretend or hold them back, so I sobbed. Uncontrollably. I laid in the fetal position, crying and thanking whatever god was helping me, for how could the woman whom I had told to kill herself, forgive me? Life was one crazy ride, or rather, death.    After my last whimper, the strong voice came back to me. “Next on the list, it says Kenton Harrison”.    A sly smile stretched across my face. The terrible three, Me, Kenton, and Celine. I started laughing, knowing that this was going to be a great conversation. Suddenly, a natural voice joined in my laughter, and memories flooded.    The strong voice spoke, “The person you were kindest to.” Silence filled the room, I waited patiently to hear the voice that cured all pain.    “Milo? You crazy thing! God, I've missed you. Why am I here?”    “If you think I know, then you're the crazy one. Quick question, am… I dead?”    The scream of silence pervaded the room, only changed by a few chuckles. “Well, if we’re being blunt then, yeah.”    I knew it. Dead. Cold meat. I sighed, “So, how’d it happen, how long has it been?”    He laughed, but not in a fun way, more, sad. “You died of claustrophobia after you got stuck in an elevator.” He lets out a sound, that can only be classified as a whimper. “17 years ago. Every day I’ve lived with this pain. This pain, knowing the person I loved most in this world is gone.” It was at this point where I realized that I didn't know why he was the person I was kindest to.    “You always found a way to make me smile.” He answered the question in my mind. “Even on the horrific day that I found my brother lying in a pool of his own blood, you found a way to force a laugh out of my broken heart.” The echo of that day blasted through my mind. His mother had taken a lot of heroin, and as soon as his little brother came home from school, she went ballistic. Stabbed 47 times. Horrible scene, the only good thing that came from it was that Kenton got to live with me, for my parents adopted him. We both started to cry, sharing our moments of bliss and sadness through the tears and sobs.    “Life was so much better with you in it, Milo. Thank god for this one, last, memory. I really do love you, Milo.”    “And I love you, Kenton.”    Conversation and laughter filled the room which felt like hours, and just like it had begun, it was over. All I could manage to do was lay there and howl, at the lost times and wasted years. Love was such a beautiful thing, filled with laughter, smiles, memories.    But beyond the crazy loopholes of love and brotherhood, it was time to ask some questions. “Why? Why all the pain, why so long, why all the memories? What is this sick game?”    The voices began to chuckle again, and then a new, female voice spoke: “You’ll find out soon enough.”    You know what, you need to scream. So I did, I let out a long, but satisfying scream.    “Are you ready now?” The strong voice said in a sarcastic tone.    “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I responded.    “Next to judge, CJ Fran. The person whose life was saved by your actions”    At first, I didn't even recognize the name. The name was in a chest in my mind, locked away with a padlock. CJ, CJ, CJ. Who is CJ? It was like the gears in my mind finally kicked in, because just like that, a wave of remembrance flooded my wits.    I had read a news article that a soccer team had a fundraiser going on at the local park, so I went, hoping to support. When I arrived, parents were arguing, and the players followed suit. Screams filled the air and soon so did fists. A man looked at me, and with fire in his eyes, he turned to face the young girls. He walked, strangely and suspiciously. My instinct was beeping, letting me know something was wrong. I jogged over to where the young girls were, making it there before the man did. He was in some sort of drugged-out haze, and he was dangerous. I grabbed his shoulders and walked him away from the girls, making sure nothing bad happened to them, I started speaking to him.    “Sir, what're you doing?”    Instead of responding kindly, he used some choice words, which I will not share. He reeked of beer and cigarettes. He resisted my grip on his arms, but I stayed strong. It didn’t take long for the man to get tired, and once he did I walked him to a different place, and called the police. Who knows what would've happened had he gotten to those girls. Well, I guess he would've killed CJ. With a kind, high pitched voice, she began her spiel. “Uh, hi?” “Hello. How are you?” This affair was already quite awkward, and unfortunately, she is deciding my fate. “I'm actually doing great, I didn't even realize the significance of that event to be completely honest. Daniel got drunk and high like that all the time, none of us knew he was going to snap. He came up to me years later and told, me that he had planned to, you know, kill me.” I was in awe, my actions had saved someone. I had truly done something kind, and it was a small thing. It's like the butterfly effect almost, one small action led to a huge result. “Wow. I-I really don't know what to say. I just didn't want anything bad to happen.” “And that's what you did, you prevented something bad to happen. If you ask me, that one action overcomes the bad actions.” A serenade of sniffles filled my ears, and soon I fell into the trend. Life and death, years and tears. Nothing could conquer the feeling of knowing that someone loves you, or thinks you deserve the world. Hot tears ran down my face, making me feel adequate and loved. Before I knew it, CJ’s sobs slowly faded until it was just me at last. Alone, me, my thoughts, and my tears. I remember when I was 13, I started crying In class and the other boys made fun of me. I began to cry even harder and wish that I wasn't so emotional when a girl came up to me. She told me that nothing was wrong with being emotional or showing emotion. She said it was much healthier than holding it all in. Her name was Celine, and she became my best friend. From there on out, I was never afraid to show my emotion, all thanks to that one girl. Emotions overcame me and taught me how to love. Compassion and love were the things that saved me in life. All those years that I hated on people, love came and melted my heart. Before more sarcastic judgment could come and talk to me, I spoke myself “I'm ready. For the last person.” “Okay, Tabetha Neil, you may speak.” I knew Tabetha very well, in fact, I considered her to be a very close friend of mine and I was confused as to why she was on the list. “The person who died because of your actions.” Died? She died because of something I did? What could I have done to make one of my closest friends die? “So, I'm assuming you know just about as much as I do.” She said, in an understanding tone. “Finally, someone who gets that I have no clue whats going on.” “Yeah, well, I have no idea how my death was caused by you.” I thought for a second, and then said “Well lets tag team this, you died in a car crash right? Down route 51?” “Yep.” “And it was close to 18 years ago right? It was about a year before I died.” God, what was I doing even doing on route 51? Especially during 2016. But then, it clicked, It wasn't what I was doing there, its what I wasn't. I had asked Tabetha to come down to where I lived for a party, and she died along the way. So, I may have caused it, but it was indirect. “Tabetha, remember the party? I asked you to come down, and you died along the way.” I heard a quiver in her voice, and then she spoke with a sound of pure sadness “Oh, yeah. That's right.” She gave out a sad chuckle, and then said “That wasn't your fault. I was drunk. You may have asked me to come down but I caused my own fatality.” She disappeared without another word. I didn't feel the urge to cry this time, for I knew that she needed to resolve her own problems. “So. Are you guys gonna tell me where I go now?” “The board needs to decide.” The strong voice responded. I wanted to ask and ask and ask and ask and continue to bother them with my questions, because at this point I'm ready. I've dealt with my pain and I've been forgiven. What feels like years pass and still no answer. Time is a joke to get people screwed up, but how long can this take? I needed to know my fate, whether or not I would spend the rest of my afterlife in pain or in bliss. Out of nowhere, the strong voice began to speak. ”The Council has decided to put you in-” His voice cut off. For once in this crazy experience, I wanted to hear that voice. I wanted him to keep talking, I wanted him to tell me if I was going to hell or not. SIlence destroyed my brain, wrapping around my thoughts and compressing them until all I could think about was the silence. Years felt like they were passing. Then, I woke up in an elevator.