#am I beefing up these characters too much? I dunno

[rampantram]

May we see both Baal and Aym shirtles? :3

Come get y’all juice 🧃

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Wednesday and Thursday

I made a graphic for them I do these so often. 😆

This one will be a bit different from other WIP Wednesday. I’m going to give a brief overview of each one of my WIPs. (There are a lot, not all of them are on Tumblr, I’ll mention which ones are.)

I was tagged by @secretelephanttattoo @trulybetty @fhatbhabie ❤️ and @rhoorl I think. I feel like I mostly got it right. 😂

“This is the Neighborhood Din” My modern Din Djarin AU with a human Grogu (affectionately called Little G). Three chapters are up so far and four is almost done. I’m having a lot of fun writing it (outside of chapter two - Domestic Violence warning on that one.) I’m introducing different Star Wars characters each chapter and their interconnected relationships while keeping with my silly brand of humor. Know that Johnnie Mae is the MVP.

“Weddings 101 with Dieter” A series near and dear to me as with this series I really doubled down on writing Dieter Bravo overall as well as my delusional belief that I am somehow a comedy writer. Maya and Dieter are a hot mess, I love Daisy, Dieter’s trusty goat and that this series is the crazy ridiculous rom-com I wanna see. ❤️ Also I made Oscar Isaac have imaginary beef with Dieter and am having way too much fun writing it. @angelofsmalldeath-codeine loves this series and I love her for loving it. 🥰

“The Lake Between Us” My sleepy, dreamy series with Ezra. He has an airboat, he has a house across of the OFC’s on a lake. He cooks gumbo in a tank top. This series was inspired by Ezra cooking (I dunno why) and turned into an eight part series on two people growing closer. There’s two interludes (I’m scrapping the third one - thanks to @mysterious-moonstruck-musings for beta reading filth. This is the one time it doesn’t fit lol)

“Only Pieces of You Mr. Morales” My angsty sensual (also has a lot of sex because it’s Frankie) short series I created on a whim last week. I finally was able to write for Frankie this year outside of prompts. 👀 I describe different parts of Frankie’s body each Friday. I put out (pfft) two drabbles on Fridays. It’s a friends to friends to benefits to them figuring it all out. Maybe because I put Frankie through the wringer to much is why when I put Frankie drabbles in @i-own-loki ‘s box, she thinks I’m harming the man. 😭 I love Frankie I swear!

“Our Journey Across the Star Ocean” My fluffy Din series where you and Din (especially) are super awkward, very sweet and idiots. Three tropes I love. I have two parts and I’m working on a third. I’m not sure how long this one will be. On the shorter side for sure. Fluff for @grogusmum and @604to647

“Come away with me Angel” This is my Benny series I finally tossed out into the world. There’s only one part but I am working on part two. Friends to lovers and one house I guess as far as tropes go. I see to have a thing with cooking because so far in chapter two Benny is cooking shirtless. @rhoorl and @musings-of-a-rose we’ll need to discuss this.

“Post Apocalyptic Fluff and Stuff” This is @maggiemayhemnj ‘s brain child. She told me I made up a genre of post apocalyptic fluff so we’re going to have more. The stuff refers to darker topics because it is an apocalypse, but 80% fluff. I’ll have emoji indicators.

Unposted Planned Series:

“A Safe Place for Us” is what happens when I think on an obsessive baby daddy Dieter I wrote for a spring prompt because what else goes with a brick house am I right?! No? Well, it’s what we’re getting. Eventually. After Weddings 101. They’re not connected, different OFC and I have all sorts of silly titles.

“Therapy for the Well Adjusted” If there’s someone who is going to be put through the wringer, it’s Marcus Pike. He has an incident at work where he needs to take some time off. Because he’s Pike, he seeks out a therapist. After a miss or two, he vibes with Dr. Mint. The OFC has a longer road to therapy met with therapists whose vibes are way off and also no one needs to touch your Cakatoo. Ever. Not a euphemism an actual bird. Eventually, the OFC finds Dr. Julip. Both doctors share a practice. Nerdie style hijinks ensue. Inspired by a Marcus mini-series I made in my Spring Prompts and my own experiences with therapy.

“So Fairy not Jedi?” Din and Grogu meet a fairy warrior. Possibly might be a soulmate AU too? Din’s having all the AUs Working title just vibes. Expect it to be weird, wild and hopefully wonderful.

“It’s not all bad right cariño?” Javier Peña, the elusive, owner of aviators and the amplifier behind them. I had thoughts about him being in an AU in Loredo post Narcos as a sheriff and his interactions with a lawyer from the DA’s office Thalia. Since I haven’t given Javier much other than major angst, pickles, guava and a lot of fingers (the former DEA agent knows what I mean), I can give him a little bit of silly and something sweet. Also just vibes, but I have bullet points. Dancing and yellow jasmine.

“Ezra as a sex worker” Bullet points. Sometimes you just have him hold you, sometimes he talks the entire time but it’s fine because he sounds like sipping warm bourbon while sitting on an over stuffed chair with your feet propped up and it’s massaging all your limbs. Ezra does wonder why you don’t actually come here for sex but he’s getting paid for his time so he can keep that to himself. Until he’s in one of his rambles and asks. A cascade of events occur and he’s living in your house later. Still cooking because I always want Ezra to cook. Pfft.

Feel free to send me an ask or drop a comment about any of these. I think about them all way too much. 🤣🤣

As I was asked by @for-a-longlongtime earlier this week when talking her ear off about something, “How many words do you even write per week?!” 🙃🙃 I have no idea. It’s a lot. Maybe 2-3k but given what I post per week that feels low. It’s a compulsion at this point.

We’re at the end, thanks for reading this far! 💜💜💜

NPT: @undercoverpena-fics @megamindsecretlair @saturn-rings-writes @soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @schnarfer @wannab-urs @connectioneverywhere @inept-the-magnificent @covetyou @gemmahale @goodwithcheese @lady-bess @morallyinept @trulybetty @alltheglitterandtheroar @alltheotps @slippinninque @magpiepills @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @laurfilijames @yorksgirl @julesonrecord @djarinmuse @paulmescal-s @tinytinymenace @pedroshotwifey

[tyran-the-tyranical]

Hope Dream Theory Pt.2 (Just a rant tbh)

Ok, so I’ve been racking my brain thinking about the NOT CANON taming hope part 3, I’ve never been so happy to be wrong, but now I cant stop hypothesising what’s real and what’s not.

Look I understand it’s non canon but the building blocks of what it’s saying to the player is already in game, you can still kind of assume that maybe Hope wasn’t being physically tortured but just mentally, and as a result believes it 100% in her head that she looks awful ect etc. and that means it is real, or was, because its what she genuinely believes.

But, If Hope wasn’t tortured physically, what else is real? Did Raphael really kill a kid and some family in front of her? And what about the boudoir? Dream theory could explain a kid dying and a family in that they were possibly just nightmares but if it was specifically Raphael doing the deed, it seems less likely, that goes for the boudoir as well, it’s too specific to be a random nightmare. (Look, dream theory can only go so far lol)

A few people did bring up that whether is was physical torture or not, Hope believes it was 100% real so, it basically became real anyway. The only thing it really does is make Raphael or korilla feel better about what they’re doing. (I want you all to realise that I am coping so bad rn, the cope is real) I understand that if taming Hope part 3 is ever actually implemented in game it may soften Raphael’s character a lot, that is if you believe that everything he did to her wasn’t physical but mental, it’s easier to swallow, though still deplorable.

It’s my personal headcanon anyway, and look, the guy is never gonna be good but anyway to soften him up is great, I mean if his half brother Magadon can do it, so can he alright (sorta). Though I do feel like this explains alot, since Hope honestly feels like she only exists to give the player a reason to want to kill Raphael, otherwise he’s just too charming and no one would bother to kill him.

It will annoy me endlessly that there isn’t more in game information, I appreciate vagueness as it leaves room for theories but I’m dying for answers Larian 😭 because right now I’m going crazy over an entry that isn’t even in the game, just the files AHDKSJSKS LIKE- Look I would love a way to have my cake and eat it too, free my girl Hope but like, NOT KILL THE DEVIL BOY, that would be great, cause tho she’s hella under cooked and under utilised they made her too bubbly and likeable, that or I’m just weak.

This is turning into less of a new development to the theory and more of a rant lol, and though I would like an answer, I also think I would die if it’s just he is super evil like his dad and did all those things to hope, because some of the things that’s been said that he’s done to hope feels way too much like edgy evil things just to be evil (like his father has done, tho I know he hates him but still ends up being like him lol) one reason I like Raphael so much is that he’s nuanced and honest to the player (also why I have beef with how strict the DnD alignment system can be) he isn’t like Mizora that comes across as your typical devil, Raphael (purposefully) is different and yea that’s sort of his manipulation, it’s still refreshing to see, but I guess oh woe is I.

Like for instance, the boudoir dialogue that Hope hints at- WHAT DOES SHE MEAN, because yes, I think we can all guess what she means but also what does that actually mean in context? That she’s been (yknow) or she’s forced to I dunno watch ? If she has been (yknow) does Haarlep have her form? If so, why even bother trying to break her if he’s such the “hopeless romantic” (also not canon) if that’s what he was after.

look even as I’m typing this I realise how I sound, this is definitely a rant, but I can’t stop thinking about these pixel people lol, but the whole Raphael and Hope thing will never not bug me, for multiple reasons; it’s undercooked, vague, and didn’t really get the attention it kinda deserves especially since it’s probably one of the dark parts of the story (one of many to be honest) like the content matter leaves alot to the imagination.

Bleh, I love my girl Hope, especially the letter we get if we free her, and it’s actually sad to see her state in game, she’s all over the place, I just have so many questions about their entire dynamic, like I can understand how it might’ve happened, she’s a cleric who probably wanted to save her sister and didn’t know much about Raphael other than he’s a devil, and he just happened to gain a sick curiosity or obsession with her, but everything after that, after the first two entires, WHAT HAPPENS?! I’m hooked, I need to know the full context, was it just nightmares or was some of it real? Did he actually love her or did he grow to hate her? Is she actually Hope or has she just grown to believe that herself? If so, How could Korilla stand all that?

I guess for now I’m just stuck with Headcanons, but what do you think? What’s your take on it all?

Edit:

Sooo, I just wanna add a few things extra here, Raphael is not rlly redeemable, and I really don’t want him to be BLEH good.. he’s is 100% lawful evil aligned, but like I said, I’m not a fan of the strict alignments in dnd, I think from a narrative perspective it’s more interesting to add nuance and maybe soften him a tiny smidge, and Raphael definitely shows that and the only time it ever tips the scales to completely abhorrent is when it’s what he’s done to Hope.

He doesn’t need to become his brother lol, but you’ve gotta admit how interesting it would be to see something other than a stereotypical devil, because he’s a devil can help you out for their own benefit, but they will never defer from their “nature” but I think It’d be cool to see him have an arc similar to the companions, breaking their cycles and change for the better (or worse)

His story wouldn’t even have to be convert him but something akin (a controversial take here) to Astarion. Astarion has a lot of reasons to why he is who is at the start of the game that Raphael really doesn’t (from what we know) but there’s so much you could do with his character, even as a non companion. I mean, he’s a sadistic asshole, (just look at his debtors) but what was it like being Mephistopheles kid? He was a child once I mean, and who was his mother? He must still have a human part of his family somewhere, unless they’re all dead.

This is all unnecessary stuff tbh, not even some of the companions get this much revealed about their history, but even just ignoring his possible past, how is he even going to take over the hells? He says that his father and Co. are coming to see him and “negotiate” or something but how’s that gonna turn out, huh? Like he says he’ll be knocking at our door but is he even gonna make it that far? Coz what I’m thinking is, he’s gonna get nerfed bro. Now a dlc could answer this but ehhhh, that’s not for awhile, if at all anyway.

This edit is going way away from dream theory but also dream theory or in Le head theory is frustrating, (for numerous reasons I know) because it’s the default explanation for anything isn’t it? Oh it was all a dream or coma or blah bleh blah, while it can explain a lot,it removes just as much, it makes Raphael soft, (YES ITS STILL TORTURE) but it’s easier for an audience to swallow. I don’t want to throw this theory out just to make him seem less villainy or whatever, I kinda just want it so Hope didn’t have to actually watch some kid or family die, or whatever happened in the boudoir, real to her but in reality no one had to die or whatever, love that girl bro, she rlly got the shit kicked outta her fr, but then again that’s why you can side with her and kill Raphael.

It’s so weird that I’d want this sorta theory for a character who is so blatantly evil aligned but hey a girl can dream, ok? 💅 like I said the coping here is real, and at this point of the rant I just seem like a crazy person, (so true) so I’m gonna end it here, STILL WOULD LOVE AN EXPLANATION LARIAN, taming hope part 3 will forever haunt me lol

[ygodmyy20]

🍉, 🍊, 🍍, 🥝, 🍈, and 🍇, please?

Okay this may need to be the last one I do cuz I am on my phone haha

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

I’m not sure as I have done both! I do love my current long fic right now but i love writing short ones as well. I think the long fic is fun but it is a lot of work and a little overwhelming. Single chapters are nice tho and I kinda wish i did it more. Just to get the idea out there.

I can only work on one long fic at a time I think….but I may change that soon. I dunno haha

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Reigen. God he is a character I struggle to write but there is so much meat to him. So much I could explore. I’m finding my way through my Ageswap but it took me awhile to get here.

Reigen makes me….angry sometimes haha so that’s also hard to write him.

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

I’m pretty chill pickle with all AUs. Monster au, mermaid au, Ageswap, space. You name it I’ll be down.

Ofc my fav right now is Ageswap au cuz that’s what I’m writing hahah

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

It’s a hard tie between Teru and Shigeo. But because Teru is more top of mind right now I’ll go with him.

MY fav HC for Teru is….many. So here are a few fun ones:

* he never keeps the same hair forever. But my favorite hairstyle of his, is the side shave. He keeps that for most of his 20s

* Teru loves to cook. He learned how in his late teens after getting way too sick too often when he was a kid living in his own. I think Reigen, Shigeo, Ritsu and Serizawa help him learn how to cook. Once he figures it out teru is all in

* Physical touch is so important for Teru. Him and Shigeo have a lot of past traumas about touch. They work together a lot to find a healthy balance with touch. I think this is platonic or romantic. Teru likely went months without a loving physical touch.

* Teru needs to have control. If he doesn’t he falls apart. There are many times in his life where he won’t ask for help because he needs to be in control. this does not end well.

* Teru has trust issues that he has to spend most of his life working on. He trusts a select few people but would never trust them to take care of him. Teru can take care of himself (he says to himself).

* Teru loves to knit, to create things, to doodle. He likes doing things with his hands.

That’s just a few hahaha

[pseudowho]

@pseudowho hello

i have a story request for Geto Suguru if it is fine with you

ngl the plot is based on my real-life situation, it is up to you how you narrate it and imma type it here

so basically Geto and MC are fuck buddies for 3 years who are childhood close friends as their parents are friends, they have 6 years age gap, Geto is now 27 and MC is now 21, also Geto took MC's virginity

basically, Geto and MC both have hidden love and desire for each other, but they always misunderstand each other because of highkey tsundereness, and one day MC had to move away to abroad for a foreign exchange prog

4 years and 2 months later, she return with their identical twin sons Geji and Yuto which take exactly after him with his beautifully handsome ethereal visual with his fair and pale skin, angular and defined facial features, towering tall height, large hands, long fingers, long legs, athletic physique, deep, husky and raspy voice and scent as they’re also too tall and big for their age just like him

basically Geji and Yuto were roaming around finding for the yogurt in a baby-bottle looking container in the convenience store when they bump into Geto and MC and the little boys quickly leave after buying said yoghurt

MC and Geto basically fall in love deeper and harder this time because they'll be working together in an intelligence agency as MC is now a hacker and Geto is now a detective

there'll be a gentle confrontation about the children and they'll confess to each other

it is your choice if you want to make it angst-heavy, smut-heavy or both, i want to see how what PoV will it be, i wanna know

TMI: irl the thing about me and my ex-fubu is that, it's not him and i are beefing or anything but i just dunno if i deserve him even if he confessed to me about his hidden love for me, i can't even tell him about the 3 sons i share with him (they look like my ex-fubu) which he treats like his own flesh and blood as he says it when it really is his own, i do need advice author because i am conflicted AF T_T

note: sorry for the rant :(( dw you are free to decline and delete this ask if you want

Hi!

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this out and send it to me. It sounds like there are a lot of massive emotions at play here, and it makes for some complex relationship dynamics, which I hope you manage to resolve. I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of advice, other than each party needs to be fully honest with the other, about what they want from a relationship, and if these things are compatible with the two of you being together.

That being said, I have said this on a post before, but this is essentially a commission. It's so exact and so specifically you-coded, I'm not going to write it.

While I normally simply don't respond to ones I'm not going to write, I didn't like thinking of you going ignored when you're so conflicted. I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, and I really hope you find a way forwards.

I neither write commissions, nor things with exactly specific readers. I like to write for my own enjoyment and to explore storylines, characters and tropes.

Thanks for thinking of me, though, and very best of luck,

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[recurring-polynya]

What captain/lieutenant swaps would interest you?

I am a fan of AUs generally, and this seems like one I would like, but to be honest, it's got no juice. Love and hugs to everyone who enjoys this scenario! Please enjoy them fully, with my blessing! They just aren't for me!

I think the main problem I have is that it warps the characters too much, to the degree that they are no longer recognizable, and therefore no longer hold my interest.

Take, for example, Squad 6, the one that has the most potential for me to care about it. In canon, Renji s a scrappy underdog, fighting and clawing to make a place for himself within the Seireitei's power structure. He's got a lot of insecurities, and he's torn by the fact that he both resents and admires and envies Byakuya in turn. If you make him a captain and put Byakuya under him, literally...what's left? And Byakuya's entire deal is that he's spent so long holding himself apart from people that he's frozen, like a glacier, and all his interesting character stuff comes from the way Rukia and Ichigo and Renji are able to get him to thaw. I suppose you could take his younger, hot-headed self and give him Renji as a rough-and-tough guy to idolize/resent in turn, being so different from his own family, but those feel like two entirely different characters to me, and I don't even know what story you could tell about them. I'd almost rather a time travel story where Current!Renji went back in time to mentor Young!Sad!Byakuya, except once you "fix" young Byakuya, he's just not very interesting to me anymore.

The "what story would you tell?" is actually really important to me, because I have no idea how the central "betrayal of Soul Society" would work if you swapped any of 3, 5 or 9. I saw some cool fanart once of a Hinamori-Aizen swap, but narratively, Hinamori, Kira and Hisagi have no huge beef with Soul Society, certainly not enough to conspire against it, and a conspiracy on the lieutenant level isn't very interesting. I guess some people like to swap Aizen and Shinji, but I honestly care very little about the Aizen-Shinji dynamic generally, and this really isn't a thing I'm into. Similarly, how are you going to swap those same lieutenants with their Vizard captains without goofing up the entire timeline?? I dunno, I feel like if you swap out any of the captain-lieutenant duos, it breaks the fundamental Bleach storyline in a way it ruins the whole thing, imo.

I think the only captain-lieutenant swap that doesn't make me viscerally recoil is Hitsugaya - Matsumoto because it very much could have been. I actually read a fanfic along those lines recently, where Matsumoto didn't want Hitsugaya to have to take on the captaincy, so she trained up and got bankai. The fanfic was fine, but I just honestly did not like the dynamic as much as the dynamic they have in canon, which holds this cool frisson of "Matsumoto should have" maybe, but she couldn't, and that's a thing that hangs between them, but they deal with it by building an extremely solid partnership and supporting each other how can you improve on that???

Wait, no, I take that back. If she were captain, Nanao would have fired Kyouraku 1000 years ago and live in peace, I think I honestly would enjoy seeing that.

[a-tale-of-legends]

So I realized I was very focused on the pokemon aspect of Amsonia's journey, but I haven't gotten into the details. So I'm currently writing down my thoughts on the game so far, just trying to make sense of things. And I had a thought.

The first encounter with guzma, in which Kukui practically made the player fight guzma instead of himself. This kinda upset me a little? Bc why would he make a child fight someone as volatile as Guzma ( who he clearly has beef with good lord-). I know it's pretty typical for the child protag to handle the antagonist adult in pokemon, but like. I dunno, I just feel weird when Kukui does it ( this is something that Cynthia pretty much did btw. I dunno if there's more examples tho -)

At first, I was gonna change that, potentially even having the first guzma fight now even happen at all. But then I thought about that entire conversation between Guzma and Kukui. That conversation was so. Personal. Even with guzma being the leader of team skull, there was like. Tension between those two. Like that the fuck man. It only continues to be personal when Guzma hits something personal to Kukui: the pokemon league. His dream. I think Guzma making fun of Kukui's dream, as well as whatever fucking baggage these two have, kinda just set Kukui off. Cause like. We never even saw him like this before. Yeah he's still him, but the insults and gabs at Guzma was something you wouldn't see from him. And yeah, he's a wrestler, he was in a crowd and knows how to rile people up. But still. It felt personal to me.

God I'm rambling - what I'm trying to get at is that bc Kukui's own ego was hurt, he thinks the best thing to do is make Ames - the child who has had bad experiences people like Guzma ( her dad ) - go up against Guzma to put him in his place. He wasn't fully thinking here, his own pride was in the way, and it's only until after that confrontation where he realized " wait......fuck", cause yeah man, Amsonia doesn't exactly like being forced to confront a man known for giving " a beat down". His own pride blinded him to what was really important and what was really important was keeping Amsonia safe - even if Guzma ended up leaving on his own, he still scared Ames and Kukui's goal was for her to feel welcomed and safe in Alola. And at that moment, he failed spectacularly. So the minute Guzma is gone and Kukui is down from his high, he immediately apologizes to Amsonia, saying he shouldn't have put her in that situation as the adult. While Ames is rightfully a bit hurt by it, I think Kukui immediately apologizing helps him get back in her good graces.

The reason I'm saying all of this is bc I tend to really focus on the ocs of my au- for good reason, they're my babies. But I also want to give canon characters some love too! And that means thinking about how I want their own stories/arcs to go. For Kukui I think it's.....him learning what it really means to be a father? Don't get me wrong, he loves the kids and definitely has that dad energy. But he still has a lot of growing to do. I don't like how he tends to not know where Lillie is despite her situation, or how he's in and out of the kids journey. I understand he's building the league, but is that really more important than the kids he's supposed to be looking after? I think that's something Kukui himself has to really grapple with. He can very easily be the kids friend. But can he be their dad?

Also please don't take this as me hating Kukui, I love him so much, but the more I replay Ultra Moon, the more he kinda irks me in some aspects.

[eorzeanflowers]

Uggggggh.

I might’ve made a small ripple that will cause massive headaches for future me. Time will tell I guess.

explanation under the cut instead of the tags this time, it’s a bit more involved.

So an old friend (H) of mine ran into one of my current dnd players (C) in Diablo the other day. They chitchated like old friends do, and DnD came up. Turns out, H found a dnd group that works for them! (We had played to together years ago and my style wasn’t fun for them. Tbf I was picking dm’ing back up after 8~ years of not playing so I was pretty bad.) H and C talk a good while about stuff that’s happening in their respective games, and then had to split cause the conversation ran it’s course, ya know.

But C comes to me before game and is like, “I’ve got something to tell youuuuu!” And I’m like, “oh dear, I’m screwed. Whatever it is I’ll try to make it work.” And they are like, guess who I talked to the other day! H! And I’m all like, oh nice, how have they been? To which C says, doing good, they are getting into dnd! I’m like, cool! Why did we come to a separate channel to talk about this?

C asks then if, at an appropriate point, H perhaps joins the game. And I go full stop. This game. In question is a large group (8 players + me) all huddled in a voice server to play dnd. It’s already hell to get anything done, since our games have to start late in the evening on a Wednesday. Add in another player that is known for derailing shit? Recipe for disaster.

I go quiet for a bit. I do like H, I think they are neat. But they have big beef with one of my current players (Tbf everyone in the group does, buts cause he’s a chronic dumbass who willingly did some major things he regrets. But that’s a discussion for never.)

I’ve been floating the idea of splitting the group into 2 for a good while now tbh. 8 players is a lot. Throws the meager attempt at balance that 5e does out the fucking window. Adding H in when that happens wouldn’t be the end of the world.

So I smile and nod and say I’ll chat up H sometime. C seems happy, we go play dnd, all I well.

After game I call up H, be like, what up dude. They’re excited to chit chat, and we chat for a while. They describe their game and they are super excited by the shit they get up to in it. Really cool stuff too! But as the conversation goes, the more I realize... H would not have fun at my table.

For multiple reasons. They are more people in my group. There is the player they have beef with. Some of the actions they took in their game wouldn’t fly in mine. (I especially dislike hiding information from the dm. I am here to craft a story tailored to the group. I can’t do that if you keep secrets from me. And justify it with a “I roll to deceive the dm.” That shit don’t fly.) I’m running a more heroic game and they characters they will want to make are much more villain leaning (not a bad thing, but there has to be justifiable reasons you are interacting with the story than just cause you have to. Leads to poor rp tbh.) There are a couple more but I don’t recall them off the top of my head.

I didn’t make any promises that H could join the game. I wanna stress that. But there is an expectation ya know? And I hate disappointing people. Especially friends.

I dunno, it’s just gonna be a major headache, I just know it. That’s all, thanks for reading my dnd woes. Could be worse I guess.

[thesugarhole]

thoughts from todays page readings: (it might be easier if i do it during commute but then post when im home?)

reread 49 real quick and again. i think i already wrote this so this is just me repeating myself but it will be relevant later so refresher course. as much as i love learning about captain this takes away a lot of whimsy by exposing part of whats up early on... like, youre no longer under that doubt that "is captain really nuts or is this for real the world they live in" you know?? keep some mystery man.

^feeling awkward reading this. dunno why

rubix cube chapter was so cute 🥺 im sad that thing got left behind

and again!!!! worst comic ever makes statement way ahead of its time regarding the internet!!! why does everything need to have fucking blue tooth log in connection talk directly to your brain!!! even a rubik (rubix) cube!!!! arrrgh!!!!!!

it doesnt mention annet by name but it implies that she will try and solve wishes/queries to the best of her ability (currently, think chatgpt lying through its teeth when it has nothing- when annet has nothing, she somehow creates it). nothing to note here just a detail i want to remember, "a god who answers" type of divinity

"Silly willy. Told you I am unsolvable!" I said smugly. Just then, something impossible happened. My User twisted me in 4 dimensions. "That's amazing!" I shouted. "I can't believe you've done it!" I didn't know Users were designed to operate in 4-dimensional space like this! "Hpmf" Charles said, not looking too impressed. "Well, that was surprisingly easy." "No! Charles! You don't understand!" I cried. "You can operate in 4-dimensional space! You've solved an impossible riddle! Something, within you, makes you simply incredible!" In this very moment the ropes holding us up snapped and Charles dropped me. When he let me go, I fell out of 4-dimensional synch into regular 3-dimensional space and all my 6 sides became discorded and unsolved once again.

sorry to squeeze the text to not make too long a post but

type of mysteries i want to hold on to for a little while longer ^

51

now that we know captain isnt bullshitting its even harder to be on snippys side on anything about anything because again. hes just some guy. he has no business knowing about any of this and he has yet to see it in action so why should he believe what captain says you known. needlessly frustrating the reader!!

"Are these children made up like the needy children to whom you and Pilot keep trying to gift my things to?" He asked, tapping his foot angrily. "All of the children I speak of are real, I assure you!" I said. "I doubt it," he huffed. "You're seriously the most absent-minded GIRL I know. Where would you even be without me?"

me at vitaly right now im going to fucking snap. stop doing this and let snippy perceive captain as Undefined. i get hes a Camone but good lord i dont think he would be this stubborn about this particular topic with everything else going on. like. captain allows it but it implies the reading of "zee got tired of correcting everyone" IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. and again i got extra beef with it because it definitely feels like backtracking on the nonbinary character to try and make a more main fronting hetero couple which grrrrr.

(...) There are monsters all around that will eat you if I don't protect you."

loss of whimsy (once again) in romantically only text because we know snippy isnt really doing anything other than survive. :( also more instances of snippy/captain being heavy handed in rewrites, i definitely dont remember any of this conversation when i first read the comic

listen its fine. its fine IF, ONLY IF both snippy and captain get this type of romantic dialogue with everyone else because 1. (and not to be a stubborn old mule about it but) reading this as '3 (+117) extraordinary people trying to get affection from 1 boring guy' makes it a lot funnier and engaging 2. you have to love something so so much to try and save it and since captain is trying to save whatever humanity is left in the world zee should be in love with the other guys just as much

^ its far from canon but it would be so fun, i genuinely mean this

"Do any of your organs feel infinite?" what an absolute deranged question to ask someone even with context. yes. now THIS dialogue i like

"Me and my wonderful coworkers, Goodness rest their weary, tuckered souls…"

numbers one through six are dead?? it makes sense i cant even begin to put an image to any of them sdjhgkj. captain considering eight a daughter though is kinda cute i wont lie

"I didn't fix the li..." I started to speak. "Good job on fixing the power here. I'm going to the bathroom," Charles rudely interrupted me again. I watched him depart from my table with a frown. Why was he so G-damn obtuse about things? My explanation was perfectly legible. Everyone else understood me just fine. Especially Pilot. Pilot understood what I was doing right away.

okay listen. im pilots number defender here. and!! as i said before he is VERY!!!! SMART!!!!! even with AFTER being PINEAPPLE BOMBED and ANNET DISCONNECTED!!! but im not sure to what degree he actually understands what you (captain) have going on and instead is just going with the flow of whatever you say. like he has background context, he knows about the stuff annet/g-dir was up to. but if he didnt know about this zero-eight business, which is parallel (and hidden from the public?) to a degree, before The Events then i dunno, might be a "why not, what else am i doing today" type of situation. you get what im saying? does this make sense?

Alas, I was too late. Charles had bumped into the lovely burrowing-worm in the bathroom entrance and then he started to scream.

points and laughs

[ethersierra]

Okay let’s see for Bingo…Shret for Ethersea, Rainer Michelle for Grad, Indrid for Amnesty, and Lup for Balance!

ayehehe

Shret:

Why do I associate like every character I've gotten for this bingo with red?? Anyway

She has so much going on! But we don't explore it very much. Like I guess in flashbacks we do but it's not properly and there is SO much background with her and amber but it's kind of hidden since that's the way Amber keeps it. I for one am excited to have an opportunity for fans to explore the missing pieces of the puzzle there, but I also feel like it was left behind intentionally. Who knows.

I don't think she's like the next big bad or anything at all, I think her and amber just have beef because of what happened to their friend and.. Amber's brother??? What the fuck was that a fever dream?

Rainer:

My love. My light. I need to think of her more because she is cool as hell! I really love that Travis introduced her as a character with a disability (WITH COOL MAGIC SHIT :D) but it was just part of her, not her whole deal. She is so sweet and a little creepy and I love her with my whole heart. And yes I will project onto her.

It's like it was cute how she had like a small crush on Fitz probably (from my perspective) but like it wasn't a Thing™ especially when Fitz showed he wasn't interested. And with him being canonically ace + headcanon aro, they just remind me of the way I was with a similar guy at the start of high school before realizing I was gay. I dunno I just thought of that parallel-- it's my headcanon and I'll project if I want to😌

Indrid:

Too slow 💪😏 just posted that one though. Cool dude, he's a moth, enough said

Lup:

BINGO!!

Lup Lup Lup, love of my life. I know I just said that about Rainer but I can have multiple loves.

What is there to say? She's just SUCH a character and she's fun but grounded and has so much love and anger and <3

She is so cool looking. She has pierced elf ears with like the cuff chain, and a cool red jacket and wears patterned tights and shit(all of which I have in my cosplay for her 🥰). But sometimes just messy hair and sweats and I love her just as much either way.

If she were real I would marry her and also be afraid of her. She's so powerful. She wouldn't hurt me though. Unless I was a prick.

I put kinda for screen time because I think the amount we got of her was like.. perfect? For what she needed to do? But yeah I do still wish for more of her but we have liveshows for that. And fan fics

I previously joked about her carrying a little dog with sunglasses in a handbag like legally blonde style and naming it Barry one of the cycles where he fucks up early on and dies and goes lich mode. I still want to draw it.

She is amazing on her own but I especially love her relationship to the other characters, and how she interacts with each of them, and really grounds Taako. It's just so special. It's easy to see why they all fell apart when she left.

[tundrainafrica]

Hi Sav,

I want to ask your opinion about aot in general. We know that Aot is a good show and has great stories.

But, do you have any critiques on aot? I'd love to know...

Thank you in advance 😄

Thank you for the ask! I actually am a serial complainer so I LOVE LOVE LOVE answering things like this because I have complaints about a lot of things lmao.

At the same time though, I’m answering this as a Levihan fan.

Occasionally, I would see AOT material and feel this strange disconnect because I think I’ve read and written too much fanfiction that when I actually see AOT material, I’m like ‘wait oh right, Levi and Hange came from there....”

To answer your question though, here are my general complaints about ATOT as a whole.

The general reason why I kinda feel strongly about the story telling being REALLY weak towards the end is because AOT started strong. Like, I’m sure most people can agree that in the anime at least, or maybe in most parts of the manga as well. every panel, every scene HAD purpose, which adds to the overall quality of the writing and the pacing.

The plot twist and the change in genre was also built really well. Yams left enough to speculate and he also created this story where every scene had a purpose in building the overall plot, the plot twists were done incredibly well. He cleverly planted all the hints, most readers wouldn’t have been able to pick up which was created some really great rewatch value for the previous seasons.

Character death wise, he was also incredibly trigger happy but all of the deaths seemed to have had a purpose anyway so I wasn’t too salty about all the characters dying. And most important characters who died anyway, died for one reason, to introduce a villain or to signal an end of an age, or there was a huge build up/foreshadowing leading towards the death which made it stomachable.

Towards the end though, Yams wasn’t writing to actually build some plot twist anymore. He actually had to pull at the threads of every single plot point he planted and write some semblance ending.

No ending can satisfy everyone but for me, a quality ending is supposed to tie all the loose ends in some tight logic manner which Yams low key KINDA failed to do. This explains why when the purpose of writing ‘changed’ from setting up AOT for a major plot twist and a genre shift to actually tying all the loose ends, the quality of writing kinda diminished.

With the amount of questions left unanswered, I can’t help but think Yams was in a hurry to just end the damn thing. (But really, I’m not too blah about it, because the story telling and world building was great overall, it’s just the ending which left a lot to be desired. At least, it’s not ‘Game of Thrones’ BAD lmao)

Tight Story Telling

Story telling is supposed to have a purpose. Every scene, every death, every scene leading to the finale is supposed to have a damn purpsoe and literally, it’s been months and I still think about Hange’s death as one of the most pointless plot developments in AOT.

HANGE DIDN’T. THEY LITERALLY JUST DIED. And every day, I literally try to fathom why the hell, Yams had to kill her, and I have speculations about it. The strongest one being the fact that Yams didn’t know what to do with Hange towards the end of the show and he needed to kill someone to prove the gravity of the situation I guess. And I guess Hange was the best option since she was old or something or she was just so difficult to write that Yams decided to kill them?

And I dunno it just seems like an asspull.

And Hange’s death wasn’t built up at all. Like there were no signs, there was nothing, no character arc which could have made it stomachable so Hange’s death just seems like lazy writing to me tbh and I kinda take it slightly personally because most casual readers I know tend to gloss over Hange’s death?? Which kinda diminished Hange’s character as a whole

And I thought about who could have died other than Hange and I realized, no one was built up to die in that scene? Or there wouldn’t have been anyone in that scene who I would have been okay with dying? Which kinda points to the fact that maybe Yams just didn't prepare properly for that death scene?

Which brings me to my next point.

Consistency of Characters

If a character is prepared for greatness, it doesn’t make any damn sense to put them through shit and kill them in some anti climactic way (Like Circe in GOT style)

And at the same time, most people might not agree with me here but I guess it kinda doesn’t make sense for me to see Eren redeemed at the end for the sake of love? Or him having to do everything for the sake of JUST the love with Mikasa?

It makes sense, I have to admit, there were plot points which hinted to the really strong bond between Mikasa and Eren but destroying the whole world FOR Mikasa? All I’m getting from this is Eren is just some crazy psycho who is overly obsessed with a girl that he tries to destroy the world and his sacrifice was in vain anyway because the world was kinda messed up too.

I personally think it would have been way more stomachable if Yams just highlighted everyone as a whole instead? Like it seems much more believable for me to think that Eren reached points of irredeemable or maybe if Yams just highlighted the fact that Eren did it for EVERYONE, not just for Mikasa. Because I think with the way that Yams wrote it (putting emphasis on Eren’s relationship with Mikasa), most casual readers would gloss over the fact that Eren had no choice. If he didn’t do the rumbling, Paradis would have been overrun.

Mikasa being there and her relationship with Eren WAS built up from the start so it has some place in the ending. But to put it at the centerpiece instead of Eren’s relationship with the whole Paradis which would have kinda made Eren’s decision to just ‘genocide’ everyone make more sense.

Some parts of the ending kinda remind me of weathering with you and I have a lot of beef with that movie.

Which brings me to my next point:

Values Dissonance (????)

Whenever I read or finish something, the final question I ask myself is ‘so what? what is this piece of media trying to tell me?”

For AOT, I think the most glaring message is ‘the cycle of hatred always continues,’ but I don't think that the message was properly built up? Yams went through the love, the relationships and he highlighted them too brightly for me to even properly stomach the 'cycle of hatred' message as the main one.

It seemed like, towards the end he was jumping from one message to the other in a low key sloppy way and there was no consistent message in all of them.

What was Eren’s purpose? What was the purpose of his sacrifice? What was the purpose of the sacrifice everyone was making?

If Isayama’s whole intention was to tell us that the sacrifice was meaningless and the cycle of hatred continues, I feel like there were better ways to build this up than to dangle ‘love’ in front of us and as the centerpiece of the genocide and the finale before the extra pages in some way where it wasn’t even properly built up in the first place.

That 180 from 'okay Eren did all these stuff out of love’ which is kinda overly mushy and kinda crazy already mushy way and suddenly create this message like the ‘world is doomed, seems like a sloppily placed 'plot twist' to me. Like the type of plot twists authors just put to surprise the reader but it doens't seem well thought out in the first place.

Why highlight something as hopeful as love and make Eren start the war over it when you’re just going to create some major dissonance with a plot twist. Like with the values Yams was highllighting towards the end, I feel like it was a roller coaster with a lot of abrupt twists and turns and there was no time to really reflect on the overall message because he was highlighting too many opposing points at once with no clear thread connecting all of them

I don’t know if I make any sense here haha but yeah, those are my general complaints with AOT as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I love AOT as a whole but I guess like all shows it has its flaws especially towards the ending.

And hey Yams, still made Levi and Hange and I think anyone who built a world complex enough to inspire others to write fanfiction and draw fanart is a good author either way.

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts on what I remember from reading but I have been trying to forget a lot of the plot points so I can enjoy it again when the anime comes out. My thoughts might change depending on what I think after rewatching.

[soup-du-silence]

Thoughts on the whole FOWL arc, particularly Bradford’s arc and his beef with Scrooge? I felt it wasn’t handled great at all, and I think I sympathized a bit more with Bradford than the writers had intended? I dunno, I just wanted Scrooge to be a bit in the wrong for ONCE and suffer real consequences. Never really bought or understood the show’s idea of family or adventure either, especially the VERY extended family they tried to make in Season 3.

i feel like pcs would have a good answer to this actually but Im personally really fuzzy on the whole bradford thing because ive only seen most of season 3 once and didnt enjoy a lot of it so Im....hm. bradford hates....the nebulous idea of adventure because its inconvenient and expensive? and also personally traumatic? am i understanding that correctly?

and for a while i remember thinking....is bradford going to be a vehicle for exploring why scrooge’s reckless, selfish behavior is terrible for everyone else in the world, why hoarding wealth is wrong, why looting other civilizations is wrong, is there going to be a big heel turn, and we’ll have to reconcile with how watching the show from his point of view has blinded us to the harm he’s causing, and why people like musk and bezos are actual real life villains, and is bradford actually going to be a guy you root for, like poison ivy, wouldnt that be SICK??? wouldnt that be smart and brave and interesting???

and then it not only did none of that, but it leaned extra hard into the nepotism angle, without a hint of irony, and im still totally baffled by it

the bradford thing ended up just being...petty and stupid. like if someone was tasked with writing poison ivy and was like “okay but we cant let her be too relatable, she’s right you know, and people know it, so instead of being an eco terrorist trying to reclaim mother earth from capitalist pigs at any cost, she’s just really mad cus someone overwatered her succulents when she went on vacation as a kid.” You HAD something, it was right there, and you had to dial it back because mickey’s signing your paychecks.

i so, so badly wanted scrooge to be WRONG. he IS wrong. He’s ALWAYS been wrong and thats very often the POINT of his character and I really expected that that would be something we could talk about at least a little in 2017-2021 but apparently not. like i HAVE to believe the crew knows, i follow a lot of them on twitter and I see how they talk about current events so I HAD hoped.

idk.

the family thing really got on my nerves after a while because it became a buzzword for, like, “we havent done a good job of selling you this idea but if we say it often enough then you have to accept it as true.” Especially in regards to webby. i think i brought it up sometime around when moonlander aired, because she kept dropping “family” in a way that didnt feel convincing to me and was really obvious every time it happened. and i had a whole long list of things that made it feel forced, starting with “scrooge literally fucking yells that she’s not family and this doesnt concern her and NEVER apologizes” and includes “wow webby says ‘my family’ about the ducks WAY MORE than anyone else says it about her” and “spending a whole season focused on della reconnecting with her biological family SPECIFICALLY, which webby is understandably and justifiably not a part of, leaving her out by necessity” and “lots of episodes about clan mcduck specifically and the power and importance of that bloodline, which is kind of icky actually, but we’ll just paint it as grand and noble and never mention non-mcducks like Quackmore or Elvira because Scrooge is literally the only one who matters.” 

and its hard to really sell Webby as part of the unit when you’re so obsessed with the bloodlines and heritage of One Man so I guess in that regard it makes sense why they did what they did. if you’re not gonna devote the time to explaining why she is good and why she matters INDEPENDANTLY of how much scrooge lore she has memorized then i guess yeah just slap some of his genes in her and make it fact because while I wanted to believe that she was part of the family, i dont feel like they ever did the hard work of convincing me she was. they just kept saying FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY until i went “god yeah shut up i get it”

like he NEVER FUCKING APOLOGIZED, guys. and she just forgives him before they ever see each other again. How fucking hard would it have been to have them sit down like “i didnt mean it, i was wrong, and if i didnt see you as my family then thats my own fault because you’ve been here under my roof your whole life and i had my head too far up my own cloaca to see what i was missing. that changes now, you’re one of us”

but that would mean admitting he was wrong. and scrooge is never wrong.

[mmikmmik2]

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

[getgoodlol]

An Unwelcome Meeting

part 3 of my Bdubs' Betrayal fanfic!

heyo! disclaimer before u read; i never claimed to be good at writing. this is purely for fun! i am aware that the hermits are all great people and they're all good friends. i am just playing on the roleplay and the characters they play within the storyline.

please do not tag this as ship. thank you and enjoy!

Grian rocked back and fourth on his feet, his hand in an L shape resting on his chin. His eyes were narrowed, staring at one of the chests in the Barge. He was pondering a price change on dirt; it wasn't selling particularly well. However, there were a few diamonds in the chest, so he took them out and eagerly went to his profit box to deposit his earnings.

Upon opening it, he noticed a thin leather book placed gingerly inside. He recognized it immediately- it had once graced his hands, after all. He dropped the diamonds carelessly, now focused on the presumed response from Bdubs. Grian gripped the book with two hands, excitement pulsing through him. A risky offer was always a rush.

He closed the shulker with his gaze still glued to the book. Swiftly, he opened it and flipped past his note. A few pages in, he noticed more writing that looked shaky and wobbly.

Grian scoffed with a smirk. He tried real hard to make it secret, didn't he?

He read each line with an eyebrow raised. Seemed as though Bdubs had turned him down. He was in denial, of course- nobody would want to be a mayor's doormat.

Then his eyes grazed the final scentence. The word accept looked like it was written slowly, the ink was heavier and it was smudged a little bit.

The pure excitement that beamed on Grian's face was priceless. Luckily there were no shoppers to be blinded at the time.

Quickly, he whispered a message in chat to Bdubs. Perhaps he could've sent everything like this from the start. That wouldn't have been as dramatic, though.

Hey Bdubs. Got your message. Meet me at Stress' potion shop.

Almost immediately, he got a response.

Alright, G. Scar's not around, is he?

Grian sighed. So what if he is? You won't get caught. And no, he's not even online.

A few minutes later, Bdubs popped into view, his elytra making a shadow across the shopping district. He folded his wings and landed not-so-gracefully in front of Grian with a nervous grin on his face.

Grian let the previous goofy excitement die down within him. Despite it all, this was still serious, at least for Bdubs. He expected the Mycelium Resistance to be light hearted, but he had to admit, Scar was taking advantage of his power quite ruthlessly. Although G's attitude was normally jokey, he felt maybe he should tone it down for now. A little bit.

Bdubs opened his mouth to speak- man, when did he ever stop rambling? Grian shushed him before he could say anything. The base had to be kept a secret away from all the other Hermits.

Swiftly, Grian showed him the way in through the shulker box.

"Ohhhhhh," Bdubs murmured, earning a glare.

Once they were inside, Grian led the newcomer to the table and had him sit down. "How does it feel?"

"Different," Bdubs sat awkwardly, clearly feeling out of place.

"Different as in: you're not literally sat on the floor."

"I guess you could say that."

He wasn't talking as much now. Had Grian been too harsh?

"I'm gonna call the other guys, okay? I haven't told them I recruited you."

Visible fear washed over the taller man's face. "I'm the mayor's second in command. There's no way they trust me."

"And I'm Mother Spore, founder of the resistance. What difference does it make? If you really care about the environment, you'll make them trust you. Plus, they trust me. And I recruited you."

"...M'kay. You'll introduce me?"

Grian nodded. He was afraid he was going to fast, but he needed to act quickly. He knew this really wasn't about the environment to Bdubs, of course it wasn't!

It really wasn't to him, either. It was about the principal.

Grian pressed the button with a firm press, eyes staying on Bdubs. His gaze was aligned with the table in front of him

"Y'know, G, you did a really great job with this table, the whole place is really cool! You say you're not great at interiors, b-"

Though Grian would have loved to sit and gloat about his builds, Bdubs' scentence was cut short by six ender-porters being activated, and six servermates finding their way into their respective chairs, looking frazzled.

"Grian?? Did you call this meeting?" Impulse asked, fixing his hair. He looked like he had been working on something.

Most of them did; Beef was covered in paint. Or blood. Could have been blood, knowing VintageBeef, but Grian assumed he was working on another album cover.

Stress' hair was full of nether-y bits, twigs, even flowers that were seperate from her regular head piece. She must've been working on her base.

Jevin was holding endstone, which was a surprise to no one.

Ren was quickly putting on his lab coat, brushing off ash from his shoulders.

Etho looked unfazed, but curious, his eyes locked on the new member.

Bdubs, on the other hand, sat quietly, eyes wide. He didn't really know where to rest his gaze, his pupils darting back and fourth. His neatly folded hands came undone, his fingers tapping on his palms.

"Yes," Grian answered simply, "Don't worry, everyone, everything is fine."

Before Grian could explain further, Etho pointed at Bdubs. "Uh, Grian? You sure everything is fine?"

Impulse gasped. "An infiltrator? We have to get out of here!"

Anxious chatter broke out amongst the crowd, everyone starting to get up from their seats. Bdubs looked over at Grian with a bewildered face.

"Everyone! Sit down! He's supposed to be here."

Everyone obeyed him. He held back a smile; it was nice to be in charge.

"So you've captured him, then?" Jevin asked, folding his arms.

"He doesn't look very captured..." Stress pointed out.

"No, I've recruited him."

Silence blanketed the table.

After a moment, Grian continued. "Bdubs has had a change of heart. He's on our side now."

Everyone exchanged looks.

"... He's literally Scar's second hand." Impulse gestured towards the silent man at the foot of the table.

"His lackey," Said Beef, leaning on the table.

"Hey! Am not!" Bdubs exclaimed defensively.

"Bdubs," Grian silenced him. He paused for a moment, looking around at his resistance. "Welcome, Bdubs, to the Mycelium Resistance. We have many things in store for you."

"So, what, you're just gonna tell Scar that you're with us now? He's gonna like... blow up the shopping district!" Ren straightened his goggles, as if he hadn't put them on correctly.

"I was planning on it, tonight, actually. He's expecting a note from me, about the shops or whatever, and instead, I was gonna just leave him a goodbye note."

Grian shook his head. "No, no, you're not doing that. You're now named the Head of Secret Angency."

"You really couldn't come up with a better name?" Etho muttered.

"Hey, mine is 'Head of Farming'. You take what you can get." Jevin laughed.

"Enough about the names. Bdubs, you're a secret agent now. You will be sticking by Scar's side, and reporting everything he does back to us." Grian explained.

Bdubs looked as if he had been put under a hydraulic press. Was he up for the job? Sure, Grian could manage the resistance on his own, but ... something about morals? Taking Bdubs away from the capitalist power? Something like that.

"I dunno about this, G, what if he just... double-agents us? Feeds us false information and tells Scar our plans..." Impulse suggested wearily.

Bdubs took a deep breath, then a long exhale escaped his nose. "Look, fellas, I get it if you can't trust me. I'm Scar's... 'lackey'! I wouldn't trust me either... but you'd wanna join the other side, too, if you were under Scar's command all the time."

He got stares from everyone around the table. Grian almost laughed. He knew it.

As soon as Bdubs realized what he had said, he added swiftly, "He's just so prominent about putting all the grass down! H-he really doesn't realize that the mycelium is the natural land..."

"I think I trust him." Stress offered, making Bdubs smile.

The rest of the table stayed silent.

"You're dismissed." Grian said after a moment of quiet. "Bdubs, go to Scar tonight. Find out anything you can about his plans, and report back at the next meeting tomorrow."

Bdubs nodded.

As everyone started to leave, Grian could see Bdubs gingerly grab Impulse's shoulder.

"Impulse? Can I talk to you after we get out of here?"

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

The Assasin and the Caretaker Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Warnings: gun wound, maybe a creepy female character, poison, character death, death threats, needles

Caretaker rocked back and forth, cradling their blown off hand tenderly. They missed. Assasin just missed, they reminded themselves. A professional killer just missed my head. Nothing more... nothing.

Caretaker couldn't help but think that it was more than an accidental miss. That it was intentional. That Assasin didn't want to kill them...

But they did want to kill Villain. That much was clear now. Caretaker shakily rolled out of the car, landing nimbly on their feet. Instinctively, they searched frantically around. No Assasin, no Villain. They wondered how exactly they got away so fast, but didn't dwell on it.

A scream sounded from inside the car and Caretaker rushed over. They opened the door with their good hand and gasped at the sight.

Hero was tangled up in their own body.

"Where are they?!" They screamed. Caretaker sighed with relief. They were finally talking like a normal person.

Caretaker knew immediately after their initial relief that something was off. Their gaze traveled around the car until it landed on a woman sitting in the passenger seat. She had dark hair and a vacant expression. Really, she didn't look too harmful.

Except for her posture. Her right leg was sprawled on the door and her left one was bent as she picked at her nails.

"Hero," Caretaker breathed and grabbed their arm. Pain shot up their arm, but they ignored it and continued to work on getting Hero out of there.

That woman was definitely one of Assasin's partners and therefore was automatically labeled as "Not-To-Be-Trusted".

"Get your filthy hands off me," Hero snapped which drew the woman's attention.

"Ah," she exclaimed and got out of the car. Caretaker pushed back the urge to run when they had the chance.

The woman joined Caretaker on the side of the car.

"My name is Healer," the woman said and grabbes Caretaker's injured hand. With a sudden blue flash of pain and a prick, the hand's broken flesh stitched itself together.

"Ah, ah!" Caretaker exclaimed and backed away, fear settling in them. After their accounter with Villain's loss of control, they didn't really understand why a simple trick like healing magic was so scary.

"Hmm," Healer leaned against the car with a smirk. "Hero is all healed up now."

Caretaker just nodded.

Healer nodded back.

"This is not your car," Healer murmured and ran her fingers over the windshield. With a sound like nails on a chalkboard, she scratched it.

"I bet the owner of this car will be very upset upon finding this," Healer smiled at her work. "But, then again, why would they leave it here in the middle of nowhere?"

"I dunno," Careraker mumbled. Their hand begun to throb.

"You don't?" Healer asked in an oddly sweet tone. "That's a shame." Healer suddenly reached in and grabbed Hero's body, throwing them on the ground.

"This one does not work for any organization. Almost like a rebel," Healer stepped over to Hero, putting her boot on their cheek. "You are Villain's buddy aren't you?"

Hero snarled and tried to push Healer off only to fail, still too weak to do much. Caretaker walked over and asked, "Let them go. They did nothing."

"But they did," Healer laughed and crouched next to Hero, running her hand through their sweaty hair. "Look at you," she now was staring at Caretaker. "Alone, with them."

"You sound like you got beef with them or something," Caretaker remarked. They clenched their previously shot hand and unclenched it. Gosh, it was starting to get painful again. Maybe that's a side effect of the magic, healed but still painful.

"I do," then Healer smiled like a sadistic gang leader. "And do you really think that it was Supervillain's idea to kidnap them? Oh no deary, they are much too dumb for that." Healer laughed, "Oh yes. You should see the look on your face. I was the one who hired Assasin. I was the one who sent them to get Villain out. But," she looked down at Hero with a malicious smile, "of course they came back with them."

"Too bad," Healer continued. "I really liked Assasin, but now they gotta go."

Now the pain in Caretaker's hand was like fire. They clenched their teeth, trying to block a pained noise. They asked, "What are you trying to do?"

"Destroy all non-magic folks," Healer shrugged. "Starting with you."

Healer laughed and stood up, "Have fun with your hand darling." She grabbed Caretaker's shirt and pulled them closer, "Enjoy the poison." She flicked a small needle out of her pants pocket with a short chortle and left without a word.

Caretaker sunk to their knees, cradling their hand. Hero scooted closer and grabbed it without warning.

Caretaker hissed and tried to take their injured hand back, but Hero held it strongly.

"What did you ever do to Healer?" Caretaker asked with a hiss of pain.

"I- uh," Hero's face reddened. "I went against the Hero Code a couple years back and might've caused an uproar against magic folk."

Well, that's great...

"But what about Villain? Aren't you two friends?" Caretaker asked.

"More than friends, cousins."

"But," Caretaker remembered the power suppressant drug. "They said that they didn't love you. If you guys are family-"

"I don't know," Hero gave a laughed. "They are like that."

Caretaker scrunched their eyebrows together. Wasn't that drug also a truth serum? Did it not work on Villain like Assasin hoped?

A sudden jolt of pain scared all of Caretaker's thoughts away. They pulled back against Hero's unyielding grip, but once again, they didn't let go.

"Stop that," Hero chided lightly and pressed the skin where the bullet wound once was. Then they pressed their nose against it, breathing deeply.

"What the-" Caretaker pulled their burning hand back, finally succeeding.

"I knew it," Hero sighed. Caretaker only hoped it was a sigh of relief.

"We gotta get you the antidote right away," Hero stood up quickly, swaying very slightly. They let out a tiny groan and pushed themselves towards Assasin's car.

Hero was able to get the car back onto the highway, all of their strength returning. Caretaker slumped in the passenger seat, their skin heating up with a sudden fever. They wanted so bad to close their eyes and fall asleep, but part of them did not trust Hero, and they had lots of questions.

"Where's this antidote?" Caretaker began. Hero glanced and them before answering, "I really don't know."

Caretaker furrowed their eyebrows. "Then where exactly are we going?" They asked.

"I don't know that either," Hero said. They clutched the steering wheel harder. They shut their eyes hard, almost gliding into the other lane...

"Hero!" Caretaker yelled louder than they thought possible. "Pay attention. Are you kidnapping me?"

"No," Hero said. "Quit with the questions. I know what I am doing. I just need to find an address."

Caretaker remained silent for a while before approaching them with question Number 2. "How come you aren't magical?"

"I gave it up," was Hero's curt reply.

"Oh," Caretaker didn't know what to say. They had a vague impression that magical abilities were special and that those who were gifted were... protective of them maybe?

"It was for the movement-"

"Movement?" Caretaker asked. "You went against your own cousin?"

Hero clenched their teeth and punched Caretaker's seat. Leaning over they growled, "Yes. Which is why Villain did not say that they loved me."

"Oh," Caretaker glanced at Hero's clenched fist that was uncomfortably close. Their fear made the pain spike again. But Hero's mentioning of Villain's lack of love reminded them of what else they confessed too. An address.

They reached for their phone very suddenly and selected the camera roll. The first video was of Villain on the couch. They played it.

"12... 127 N-n... 'th... Av... ave-avenue..." Villain slurred on the video.

"What was that?" Hero asked, trying to grab Caretaker's phone.

"An address," Caretaker replied, keeping their phone out of Hero's needy hands.

"127 North Avenue," Hero mumbled as they set up the GPS.

"That's their house address," Caretaker pointed out.

"It's not. They live across from my parents."

"But the truth serum..."

"Villain is resistant," Hero chuckled. "Odd isn't it?"

Very, Caretaker thought. More questions filled their already crowded head. How did Villain know about the address?

"They have some sort of power that gives them some insight of the future. It usually resolves around death," Hero practically read Caretaker's mind.

Oh. Caretaker rested their head against the window allowing the cool glass to soothe their hot forehead (they didn't comprehend Hero's casual mention of "death"). Gosh it felt so good...

After a while, they dozed off only awakening with a jolt as Hero suddenly pressed the brakes.

"We are here," Hero looked at them and quickly placed the back of their hand on Caretaker's forehead. Their eyes filled with worry as they pulled away. "Stay here," they ordered Caretaker.

Caretaker leaned back against the seat, happy that they didn't have to get up, and took in their surroundings. The address brought them to a white house with weathered sidings. The shingled roof was practically falling apart. The porch with the old swing reminded them of the "haunted" house in a horror movie. With the withered hanging flower pot, it was quite the aesthetic.

Caretaker's heavy eyes closed against their will. They tried to pry them open, only for the fever to shut them again. They squirmed, trying to get comfortable, self-consious about the way their face felt suddenly very greasy like they haven't washed it in a while. Their painful hand twitched. How much longer? Caretaker wondered and hugged themselves trying to suppress the aching shivers as they fell asleep.

Caretaker awoke to a sharp pain in their hand. They glanced over to Hero administrating a clear liquid into their hand. Too sick to respond, they just allowed Hero to do it.

"Villain saved you," Hero said once they noticed that Caretaker was awake. Caretaker just blinked, trying to comprehend what Hero just said.

"Sleep," Hero said with a comforting smile. "You will feel better once you wake."

Caretaker's eyes involuntarily closed as Hero started the car. They wondered for a moment where Hero was taking them this time. Was it to their home? Oh please be that, please.

Or, more likely, Hero was abducting them and dragging them to a hole in the earth...

Caretaker brushed that thought away. It was an insane option, but their delirious mind did not realize that.

They just hoped that they would be safe.

A few days later:

Assasin leaned against the wall. They had one hand over Villain's mouth and the other supporting their skinny body. Both were beyond exhaustion.

Assasin rested their head against the wall, feeling good with the tension relief. How long have they been hiding in the closest again?

Days.

Yes, its been days since Caretaker's death.

Assasin shut their eyes so tears would not spill. It was their fault. If only they just... no, Caretaker wanted them to protect Villain.

"Protect them with your life," They had said. "They are our only chance against Healer."

Villain suddenly begun to trash around. Assasin pulled them closer (not in a very nice way) and grabbed Villain's hair.

"Stay still," they snarled which only caused Villain to move around even more.

Assasin closed their eyes again after they got Villain to settle.

A few days ago, a healed Hero arrived at Assasin's home with a feverish Caretaker.

"Assasin," Hero had regarded them with suspicion. They remembered Assasin beating them up and Assasin knew this.

"Trade," Hero offered and handed Caretaker's sleeping form to them. "I want my cousin back."

"Villain is in critical condition," Assasin replied, greatfully taking Caretaker into their arms. They frantically searched for the bullet wound, only to find a small hole from a needle.

"Healer," they whispered happily. Hero furrowed their forehead and said, "Healer poisoned them."

A sudden crashing noise interrupted Assasin's memories. They pressed their hand over Villain's mouth even harder.

"Assasin!" came Supervillain's angry voice. Yes, they were back in the picture.

"All we want is to know where Hero is," Healer's voice sounded.

Assasin didn't reply. It would be easier to give up Hero's location. Assasin and Villain would be okay with Hero dead physically (not emotionally in Villain's case), but there were too many intercrossing deals in this situation.

Earlier, Hero pulled them aside with a gun to their head. Really, they weren't scared. All they had to do was command Hero to drop the gun.

But then Hero told them that this gun was going to be pointed at Villain if Hero was harmed at all. That meant no backstabbing.

Did Assasin care about Villain? No, but they had to honor Caretaker. It was the least they could do.

[vivithefolle]

I came across a comment regarding Ron's character: "Ron might have been the joker of the group, but his easygoing demeanour masked someone who was constantly fighting off insecurities". It really made me wonder... I always thought of Ron as somebody who wore his heart on his sleeve and rarely hid his emotions, but it made me wonder whether Ron does frequently hide his insecurities? I really hope that made sense, and would love to hear your opinion about this?

Ron does wear his heart on his sleeve and there were indeed times where he showed a glimpse of his insecurities and how badly they affected him.

’Must be nice,’ Ron said abruptly, when they had sat down and started serving themselves roast beef and Yorkshire puddings. ‘To have so much money you don’t notice if a pocketful of Galleons goes missing.’ ‘Listen, I had other stuff on my mind that night!’ said Harry impatiently. ‘We all did, remember?’ ‘I didn’t know leprechaun gold vanishes,’ Ron muttered. ‘I thought I was paying back. You should’t’ve given me that Chudley Cannon hat for Christmas.’ ‘Forget it, all right?’ said Harry.

...

'Yeah, someone could've – could've pulled him onto a broom and flown off with him, couldn't they?' said Ron quickly, looking hopefully at Moody, as if he, too, wanted to be told he had the makings of an Auror. 

...

Hermione got up and walked to the window, away from the argument, watching the snow swirling down the pane. ‘Look, drop it, will you!’ Harry burst out. ‘It’s bad enough, without you blaming yourself for everything!’ Ron said nothing but sat gazing miserably at the damp hem of his robes. After a while he said in a dull voice, ‘This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.’ ‘Join the club,’ said Harry bitterly.”

...

’Are you coming?’ Harry asked Ron, but he shook his head, looking glum. ‘I can’t come into Hogsmeade at all; Angelina wants a full day’s training. Like it’s going to help; we’re the worst team I’ve ever seen. You should see Sloper and Kirke, they’re pathetic, even worse than I am.’ He heaved a great sigh. ‘I dunno why Angelina won’t just let me resign.’ ‘It’s because you’re good when you’re on form, that’s why,’ said Harry irritably. He found it very hard to be sympathetic to Ron’s plight, when he himself would have given almost anything to be playing in the forthcoming match against Hufflepuff.

But anytime Ron shows his true feelings - anytime he tries to get help, he’s rebuffed because... because. Because there’s something else that’s more important, because Harry has so much more on his plate, because everyone around Ron acts as though it’s not a big deal. Therefore Ron thinks it’s not a big deal, too.

And look at how most of the fandom treats Ron when it comes to his feelings. “Ron was so whiny! Ron should have been grateful for what he had! Ron should just develop talent instead of complaining about not having any! Ron made up his insecurities!” Do you hate it? I know I hate it.

And of course, poor Ron has to contend with Poor Tragic Abused Orphan Harry and his very very sad life and backstory wah wah :’( and Poor Oppressed Talented Bullied Muggleborn Hermione who obviously both have it soooo much worse!!! How dare you complain Ron!! How dare you think you have problems Ron! Don’t you know poor Harry is so abused and sad! Don’t you see how badly poor Hermione is so oppressed!! How dare Ron try to say he has problems when it’s all in his head anyway!

Yeah. This fandom is a wonderful place to be in.

So, TL;DR: Ron always masked his insecurities, but sometimes his façade cracks when he’s feeling especially bad. But Harry and Hermione, whose combined Emotional Quotient is about equal to that of a brick wall, either don’t notice or just assume that it’s just a temporary thing instead of a sign of Ron being SUPER FUCKING DEPRESSED.