#am i the asshole?

[shieldherostuffs]

AITA for having to kill the guy my GF and I want to include in our relationship? - TheRuFumi

So my(??M) girlfriend(??F) Therese and I (together with some of our friends and allies) are kinda forced to eradicate other worlds for the sake of our own world's survival over the others. We're pretty strong if I say so myself.

Some time ago, our friend Glass went to this other world to scout and check out the Heroes and the overall strength of that world, and even take their heroes out if possible. But, she ends up defeated by the Shield Hero and comes back home as the Wave ends.

When we finally regroup, she tells us all the stories about the Shield Hero being an absolute scumbag (Slavery, abuse, fraud, abduction, extortion, all that stuff.), while the other three heroes (spear, sword, bow) were so useless and weak they couldn't even defeat the Wave Boss and the shield hero had to do it on his own!

Anyway, we end up going to that world, just my GF and I, so scout as well, and join the next wave to take them all out.

While there, this EXP Boost happens on some islands, and while taking a ship there, this really cute and nice-looking guy asks to share our cabin because every other cabin is filled.

And when I say cute, we mean it! Cute, beautiful, gorgeous every word! He has two girls with him in his party, who seemed like either his daughters or a daughter and a sister. He says his name is the same as the shield hero, but I could tell that he wasn't that kind of scumbag! He's so nice and soft with the two girls, and he's so snarky and sarcastic, but in a fun and good way!

Anyway, we end up all agreeing to grind levels together and explore the local area for a bit. We don't see him again for the day, until dark, when the guy with the ship keeps worrying about the guy and his party not coming back, so, of course, we're worried! We end up finding them setting up camp on the island, and get them persuaded to come back to have a drink with us at the local tavern! (Therese and I like to think of it as a first date since the two girls went off on their own after a while). We have fun chatting and drinking, and he's been snacking on these berries, but when I try one, we find out that they're basically raw alcohol, and I'm out like a light.

So, he's really good with kids, protective, snarky in a good way, gorgeous, beautiful, kind, is a craftsman (he made Therese the most beautiful bracelet), AND he is stupidly good at holding his drink.

So Therese and I are pretty much in agreement that we're in love with this guy, but he still won't tell us his name and keep insisting that he's actually the Shield Hero! (We still didn't believe him. The rumors were too different from what the guy's like.)

And we all spend a lot of time grinding and just spending time together, and I like to believe that Therese and I got at least a little chance with the guy.

But, after the guy went to the beach with his kids (WE MISSED SEEING HIM SHIRTLESS) apparently they found an underwater Hourglass, and apparently, a Wave was gonna happen soon.

So, we sadly had to tell him that we probably weren't going to see each other again (Unless he would be joining the Wave, which we assumed he wouldn't, with two kids with him).

BUT GUESS WHO WE THEN SEE AT THE WAVE, on the same ship as the Queen of this country. THE GUY WE JUST FELL FOR!

And he's fighting in the wave, together with his two daughters, and they're doing really good, (especially compared to the other three 'heroes'. Not even sure if they're actually heroes or not tho) and he's really hot while fighting.

BUT THEN, our friend Glass comes along with the Wave, after I show off a little when taking out the Wave Boss (A giant whale), and start fighting the guy.

SO APPARENTLY HE WAS ACTUALLY THE SHIELD HERO, so now I refuse to believe the rumors because he's way too good to be the scumbag the rumors talked about.

We end up fighting the last of the Wave through, and I know we hurt him when we said we had to kill him, despite how it hurt us as well and that we didn't want to, but it was for the sake of our whole world.

But, we were taken away before we could finish the job because the Wave ended (He was getting the upper hand on us, even! while the other three were out from just one bluff.).

tl;dr: My girlfriend and I went to another world to get rid of its Heroes so save our own world, and on the way fell in love with a guy, only to then find out that the guy we fell for was the Shield Hero, and we would now have to kill him as well.

[ifwebefriends]

AITA for keeping this kid from destroying his life and home?

So I (37M) run a large non-profit group that basically does humanitarian public service. We have a close-knit group of about 200 or so people and we all have similar backgrounds and abilities so we’re like a big family. But to be a part of the group there are certain qualifications that you need to have. And this one kid (15M) wants to be a part of the group really badly but he doesn’t meet all of the qualifications and the qualifications he does have seem to be from dubious sources that make me think he wouldn’t be a good fit. Then he found out that something bad is going to happen to someone close to him and he tried to stop it but I couldn’t let him do that because it would be detrimental to his home and put our group at risk. He doesn’t understand that while our work sometimes isn’t pretty, it’s all for the greater good. I enlisted the help of the entire group to try to track him down and forcibly reason with him but he got away and I don’t know where he is now. Then I kicked his close friend (16F) out of the group for bringing him with her and she got pissed at me and with the help of another guy (18M) who quit the group made their own smaller group and they’re trying to find the kid and help him. Now the whole group is in chaos and a lot of them are really mad at me for what I did but I think I did the right thing because it’s for the good of everyone. So Reddit, AITA?

[funnyao3]

“You could’ve? I mean, we could have. Had the sex. Fuck, is this a bad time?”

Somewhere across the room, Darren is half-yelling something along the lines of ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ He might as well have been on a different planet as far as Alex is concerned.

“This is a terrible time,” Henry says plainly.

- Am I the Asshole? by everwitch

[veys-mood-of-mentalbreakdown]

Aaaaalright i feel like this would probably be perfect for r/amitheasshole but i couldnt be bothered to put it on reddit. But I’ll formulate it like i would if i posted it there (EDIT: tried to post it to r/AITA but it wouldnt let me cuz its over 3000 characters)

Am i the asshole for wanting to tell a birthday party guest to not come anymore

This weekend March 11th 2023 the body will be 19 years old, to celebrate this we’re having our first actual birthday party with friends. We’ve invited 5 friends and all of them are coming some of them also sleep over as they come from far. Including the person id love to tell that they arent welcome anymore, we’ll call this person K.

As i said before this is the first time we ever thrown a party, so we are understandably stressed to get everything perfect. We don’t ask for help of the guest because we want to get it all ready ourselves (which as of now we have succeeded in and almost have everything ready).

K from day one started complaining about everything and anything. First it was about alcohol. About if we had vodka, and if we had different vodka than a certain brand because they only like that kind of stuff. Then it was about food, constantly making a problem about the snacks ans foods we were getting, i would share screenshots but i cant for privacy reasons so i’ll put it down as a list

- will there be enough food?

Yes there will be enough food

- will it be cold or warm, we only like to have warm food for dinner

We will make sure there will be cold and warm foods and foods you can eat both cold and warm

- yea but will there be enough

Yes there will be enough

- snacks dont sound like food to me

We call it snacks because we’re going to get tapas like dishes, meaning many different kinds of food

- will there be enough??

Yes K there will be enough

- i just dont have a right feeling about this

About what? The party or the food?

- the food at the party, i have a bad gut feeling about this

She then also started getting upset about the people we invited to our birthday party and the fact some of them are system’s like us (she is fully aware we are a system) saying that she thinks it’s going to be too much to handle, which i can get, i just don’t understand why she didnt tell us up front and said she wasnt going to come instead of getting angry at us for it.

She then said it would be a rollercoaster of emotions for her, and wanted to have a moment where she could just talk to our host privately about her emotional baggage at our host’s birthday party, and ofcourse like the good friend our host is, he agreed to play therapist because he’s afraid she’ll leave and bitch about him to others.

We made a playlist for music for the party, inviting everyone that will come to add music so theres a bit of everyone’s music tastes, we asked if everyone could add party vibe music and asked to not add music sorts that are triggering to us or others coming to the party (we specified what triggers us and asked everyone to specify if they have any music that can be negatively triggering)

Full knowing this, K asked us if she can add Reggae and added a few too, knowing full well that this is one of the things that is highly triggering to our host as one of the big ab*sers in our life only ever listened to that stuff, they got upset when we told them rather not and then our host said “okay but not too many, 1 or 2” to satisfy her, knowing it would most likely cause flashbacks of some sort. She then said “you know what its your party” and deleted it from thw playlist under the condition that she gets to have moments at the party where she can listen to her own music, which fine by us ig.

She then said she wasnt sure if she was going to come after all because of all the things she spoke about before that made her feel uncomfortable and feel it might be too much for her weren’t fixed. So we said alright.

Then she said she knew it would be too much for her and said she was going to come later.

I really want to tell her in a polite manner that she needs to fuck off and isnt welcome anymore at the party, she single handedly made the pressure and stress so high and blames us for it when we told her we were handling it and it was stressing us out.

After which she also said “im sorry, i feel like im too much in our business”

So are we (am i personally) the asshole for wanting to tell her she no longer is welcome?

[charliespringsleftconverse]

I need an opinion. 

I was making homemade fries yesterday. Which involves cooking with oil. As I was pulling the fries out, oil spilled over my arm and I now have a 2nd degree burn. I’m fine now. The pain is mostly gone. But I have a question about an interaction I had. Because maybe it’s me. And, if it is, I want to work on it. ‘Cause the last thing I want to be is an asshole. The world has enough of those already. And I don’t want to add to it. 

So, I was at my parents place when this all happened. My mom was in her home office and my brother was in the kitchen with me. When the oil got on my arm, obviously I screamed because it felt like my skin was on fire. In a matter of seconds, they were both in the kitchen asking, “What happened?” But I couldn’t explain what had just happened. All I could do was turn on the faucet and place my hand beneath cold water to drown the burning sensation.

There were fries all over the kitchen. Oil all over the stove and on the ground. But everyone just chose to go on their merry way within a minute. My mother back to her office. My brother to whatever he was doing. No one questions the mess. Or me holding my arm under the water.

Through tears, like a minute later, I’m able to tell my brother that I burned myself. Mostly ‘cause I don’t know what the procedure is when you burn yourself. Do you put aloe gel on? Do you go to the hospital? I didn’t even know it was a 2nd degree burn at this point. So, I’m just holding my injured arm against my body and I tell him to get some things out of the fridge to treat the area. I’m using my basic first aid kit knowledge at this point. 

At this point, I’m not only in physical pain but I’m emotionally upset too because no one tried to see what happened to me. Everyone just asked into the void “What happened?” and went on their merry way when there was no response. Even though there was a mess in the kitchen from everything. I was mostly upset at my mom for a brief moment for not being there checking up on me. (She and I have a long history of her doing things like this. I once was in so much pain I was literally on the ground crying and she just told me “it would pass.” And it did not, in fact, “pass.” I ended up needing surgery. Meanwhile, my brother will say he’s in pain and suddenly we’re all packing to go to the hospital. I’m not kidding)

So, anyway, I expressed that frustration to my brother. In between sobs, I ask, “Why isn’t mom here? Does she not care?” And what came out of this mans mouth was “Don’t victimize yourself. She’s working.”

Listen. I get it. I know that work is what pays the bills. Work is important. You don’t need to tell me that. I know that this entire set of events was unexpected and confusing. I wasn’t able to vocalize through the experience, “I’m burning” or  “I’m in pain” or “The oil spilled.” But that wasn’t something that crossed my mind. All I could think was Breathe. Stay Calm. Get cold water. Leave your arm under the cold water. But the “Don’t victimize yourself” really sent me over the edge. I have a burn on my arm. I spilled hot oil on myself. I’m screaming and crying in pain. I’m not victimizing myself. I am someone who needs medical attention right now. 

Like...is it me? Am I reading too much into this? Was his comment out of place? Please don’t be mean. It’s just a genuine question. 

[caveatscriptor]

But in that moment, through the wide slats in the banister landing, she saw his eyes were open. His gaze found hers. He'd known she was there all along. Of course he had. He always knew how to find her. He gave the barest shake of his bloodied head.

― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

[irritatinglytidsoptimist]

aitA? Short story: for practically ruining the new year feast of our house for standing up after my mom reuined my mood to cook on Christmas' Eve?

Like, rn i am thinking of making her realize that not all the time she can and should shun me and what i want to do, esp in cooking, when that's the only way i de-stress really.

Longer story : bisperas ng pasko gusto ko mag ihaw ng manok at mag luto ng pasta, so sabi ko kay u cle hiramin yung ihawan nila kuya sa bahay nila (1 trike away). Sabi niya need i trike so nangjihingi pamasahe, so sabi ko kay mama muna humingi dahil wala kong pera sa buksa that time.

Enthusiastic and really looking forward to it, inalis ko na sa freezer yung manok, yung butter na ilalagay ko almost ready na. Then njng pumunta uncle ko kay mama at sinabi na hihiramin yung ihawan non verbatim sabi ni mama "bat kailangan pang hiramin yung ihawan? Di naman malaki yun, di naman marami lulutuin mo, para ka namang sira maki" (she almost shouted the last part knowing i'm listening sa baba ng bahay.

Initially isa lang ang lulutuin kong buing manok, but knowing na may rift si kuya at asawa niya, at wala siya sa kanila i took it to my self na mag ihaw pa ng isa para sakanila, everything is already added to cart sa foodpanda, i p-place ko na yung order for another whole chicken sana once na nakuha na yung ihawan. And nawala lahat sa sinabi ni mama. Tbh it shatters me, kasi i'm really looking forward to it. May ihawan kami pero open grill lang, yung kanila kuya may pull over cover style, and sa luto na plano ko mas okay yung ihawan nila.

So after ko marinig si mama i threw all my plans away. Di ako jag luto. Wala siyang narinig sakin na kung ano. Kasi alam mong mag aaway kami. Days passed, then since 2 days ago kinakausap ako ni mama abt food and what to cook, to which as much as i can i respond like "bahala ka, tatanungin niyo ko di niyo rin naman gusto yung gusto ko". But she won't take the cue.

Then ngayon, i originally plan on making vietnamese spring roll, mongolian beef, and cheesecake. Pero i can't with mybself na mag luto while feeling angry abt the christmas eve ganap. Kanina pag uwi ko bumungad si mama sabi na gawin ko daw yung spring roll, sabi ko sakanya wala kong gana mag luto ng kahit ano, bahal sila mag luto. And i can see sa facial reaction niya yung pagka dismaya kasi ni l-look forward niya yung spring roll, pero be it petty i kennat na siya gusto niya makuha ni l-look forward niya while putting down mine?

Kaya ayun, awkward. And medj na guilty ako, alam ko magluluto parin naman siya, pero i fear it's gonna be a mema luto just like what she did nung pasko, and it's kinda lame if same will happen tonight, pero kasiiiiiii naiinis parin talaga ko. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[romanticwealth]

those fucking Reddit stories be something like this

Am I the asshole for yelling at my wife and telling her that she should’ve been grateful for her ex-husband dying?

I (41m) have been married to my wife (39f) for 12 years. We have two amazing kids. (2m and 7f) They’re all my absolute world, and I love them with all my heart.

Now for my situation.

For context, a year after me and my wife got married, she told me that she used to be married before me. She had gotten married at 23 to a man (22m) who had died a month after their wedding in a car accident. She grieved for him very much because he was her first true love. I however, was not happy with the fact that she had been married before me. I don’t care that she was a widow, someone was with her before me, and that made me angry. I kept that to myself though, because I didn’t want to upset her and make her divorce me.

A week ago, on the 16th anniversary of her ex-husband’s death. She told me she would be going to a party to honor her ex-husband because his sister and her were really close and she wanted to pay her respects to him. I got angry and told her that she was not going to the party. She got upset and told me that she would be going no matter what I said. It was her decision. I felt myself snap and told her that she should be grateful for her ex-husband dying because then she wouldn’t have met me and had our two beautiful children with me. She was silent for a bit before storming out the door. I tried calling her but her phone went straight to voicemail every time.

From what I’ve heard, she stayed with a friend for the night because she was too angry to face me. I got a ton of spam calls and texts from her family and friends telling me I was a dick and a terrible person for what I said, but I believe I was in the right. She’s my wife. I don’t care that he fucking died in a car accident, no one should’ve had my wife before me. She is mine.

When she came home the following day, she told me to not speak to her for a while because she still needed time to process what I had yelled at her.

She’s still angry with me and refuses to speak with me. But she can’t be mad at me forever, right? She still loves me, even though what I said was fucking disgusting and something no one should say to someone. She told me she can’t forgive me for what I said and that I should be ashamed. I’m not ashamed of what I said because I felt like what I said was the right thing to say and that I was not the villain in this instance.

Mine, hers, and her ex-husband’s family have told me that I should apologize for what I said and the pain I inflicted on my wife during one of her most vulnerable times, but I don’t think I have anything to apologize for. I was speaking my mind, and she should’ve respected my opinion and stayed home that day.

So I gotta ask, am I the asshole?

(This story is completely fictional and is not based on real events.. at least as far as I’m concerned.)

(I hope no one has actually done this kind of shit to their partners or spouses…..)

[hanki-is-at-it-again]

So my cat likes to lay on my feet whenever we go to bed but sometimes i need to move to get comfier wich means i might slightly move him a little, as a consequence my cat decides that i hate him and goes to cry in another room like the big floofy baby he is.

[firemedicdiaz]

Can I get one where reader finds Eddie during his breakdown instead of Buck?

I legit wasn't even going to answer this one because the tone annoyed me so badly but on the off chance that you didn't mean to sound so unbelievably entitled:

One, I don't take anon requests. I don't know you from Adam. You might not even be following me. How would I know?

Two, my requests are closed indefinitely. I'm struggling with cancer treatment and a severe relapse of my eating disorder. I don't have the time, energy, or inclincation to write.

Three, a please would go a lot further in convincing someone to write something for you than sending in a request that reads like a takeout order. Just something to keep in mind for the future.

[canichangemyblogname]

I have an incredible fear of pregnancy. And a friend's mom and family friend asked me at a lunch yesterday when I would be getting married and giving her god children.

And I looked her in the eye and said, "Never. I don't want my uterus to prolapse. Or to lose my teeth. Or, y'know, die. Knowing my family history, that's what I'd be risking."

And then one of the other women at out table stood up to go get some water.

And she was pregnant.

[funnyao3]

He’s back to touching Alex’s arm, just a light press of his fingers by Alex’s elbow, and yeah, that’s… neat. The touching. Ten out of ten, even through the layer of merino.

[askthedevicer]

Okay hot take:

Reddit should have like a LATA (Look At This Asshole) subreddit because, as I see it, the AITA thread has exactly two(2) types of stories:

1. Someone genuinely posting a nuanced social issue where anything goes

2. Someone posting a story where they stood up to a bully/racist/asshole/idiot and are therefore seeking validation.

Anyway, anyone in scenario 2 should instead be posting to LATA, and upvotes or downvotes could validate (or otherwise indicate they ARE the idiot) said poster.

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay. Am I the asshole if I call out my roommate's self-centered behavior? I live in a communal space, where everybody except C shares freely. C got a good job through connections and is able to spend freely on themselves, spending little on household items, groceries, etc. They say they're broke every month, but I've seen their takeout containers and amazon boxes, so maybe it's a spending problem. Worst of all, when we are low on food, C just disappears for a few hours and comes back instead of cooking with everyone.

I've told C that they're being selfish and they should start considering other people, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I offered to help budget but they don't listen! They barely spend more than $400 of their $2000 a month on groceries for the house; the rest goes to their lavish lifestyle while the rest of us suffer. I just want them to pay their fair share. AITA for asking them to be fair??

Including some more specific INFO from version 1 of this post (which wasn't postable due to being about emotions rather than actions):

What are these acronyms?

[project-neo]

AITAH for perfering my now Ex Step dad over my bio mom?

I was born to a mentally ill father and a mother who cared for me. But they divorced when I was just 1 year old due to my dad's mental illness. They had a long divorce process. Funny enough, my bio dad give his share of custody completely to my mom. I never meet him afterwards.

My mom dated many guys over the years. I was born with ADHD and Asberger autism, so I was a difficult kid. I used to hit, bite, throw fits and just be violent wen i hat a emotionally outburst. That changed slowly over time (thanks too my teachers in middle skool who taught me). I was often given away into state children care so mom could get treatment or because CPS pulled me out. I still hold a grudge on them for that.

Wenn I was 5, my mom meet my then step dad. I immediately liked him and we became very close. Wen I was 7 they got married. I love my step dad like he is my real dad, so i will be referring to him as such for the rest of the post. Shortly after my 9th birthday, my little sister was born. Let's call her Emma.

Emma and I were raised differently. Emma is now 11 years old and still with my mom. While I lifted most of my life in state care and never had a true childhood, she lived with my parents. While I never got anything, she got her own pc, ps4, and 2 Nintendo switches. I had to fight with my mom to get my own back when my grandmother brought it for my 17th birthday. It hurts so much that Emma gets the dream life I never had. But I don't blame her!

Now into the story!:

I moved out about 3 months before I turned 18 because my home life became toxic. I had constant fights with my mom, and my dad never interfered. About 4 years ago, his beloved dog died. That wen it all started to spiral. That's why I moved out. And once that happened, it really went to Sh!t: mom and dad seem to be fighting even more.

5 months after I moved out, they sat me down on the couch at my apartment and told me that they would move in separate apartments due to fighting. I knew then and there that my life would turn again. And it did: My mom and dad divorced in November last year (2023), however, they share custody of Emma. My dad sees her regularly and brings her to the school buss every day.

Mom and dad had a long and hefty brake up. Mom accused dad of doing stuff he never did, told cps that my Dad was mentally unstable and needed to be in a psychiatry. But her could prove every claim as false and is now still in fighting with my mom. Mom was so dramatic that she made Dad hate her.

On my birthday last year, I invited my grandparents and my dad, but NOT my mom. We don't really speak to each other, and every time I try, she just gives me 1 of 2 things: the cold shoulder or an aggressive answer.

Back to the story:

At my 20th birthday, we all sat around the table and drank coffee. My grandmother asked me where my mother was. I told her I didn't invite her because my dad was there. She said first said to my dad that she was surprised that I didn't invite my mom and she didn't expect him there in the first place. Then I dropped the bombshell on my grandmother. Hier are my exact words:

"To be honest? Mom changed. I can't even recognize her."

I leaned forward towards my dad and addressed him directly:

"And to be honest? I would perfer you over mom any day. "

My grandmother eyes went big from shock. Dad had a hard time containing his laughter. After the party, my grandparents drove my dad home. He told me later in a call that he had a hard time containing himself after what I said, and he was so proud of me for standing up.

Well, my grandmother didn't take that's so well:

She scolded me for that:

"You shouldn't prioritize a man that you don't share blood with over your mother! How dear you?!"

And

"You should forgive her. She is your biological mother!"

I told her:

"Yeah, I know. And I still love her. I don't mind if she dates again, but that new guy will never be called Father by me. And I will tell him what she did to My dad. "

My grandmother flipped out at me and called me all sorts of names. She ranted to my mother and my uncle about this. My mom was not so happy about this but my uncle called me and told me he supports my decision.

My grandmother stopped inviting him to Easter dinner and Christmas, and it crushed me. I told her that, and she just said:

"he is no part of the family no longer. So why invite him?"

I left the dinner then and there. Now my grandmother, Emma and my mother call me names.

Am I the asshole hier?