#an australian thing apparently

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt I australia but i've never been there

A lot of my lovely maggots are Australian, it appears, judging by the number of Australian families I was just randomly adopted by. So this one goes out to you all, but very especially to Arthur (@howmanyholesinswisscheese) and to his grandmother's boyfriend Brian, who reminds him occasionally of me. I'm truly honoured.

Disclaimer: I did my research on tumblr, pinterest, and the first result of a couple of Google searches, because I'm thorough like that. I say part I because there is a lot.

I'm not sure what Australia is, because the education system failed me. They said it was a continent. But then a country. I figured it was both.

Unfortunately, then I learned about Oceania. Which I had thought was a made up undersea kingdom in that Barbie a Mermaid's Tale series, where people surf. But the continent is Australia and Oceania. Or not.

They have Prime Ministers. I know this, because one ate a raw onion which became instrumental in his later sacking, and another demanded to know what the odds were of a Prime Minister drowning.

He then drowned. Or maybe vanished into the Barbie kingdom of Oceania and became a merman. We will never know, because his body was never recovered, so my money's on the merman theory. Australians proceeded to name everything to do with water after him, from swimming pools to ships, because Irony.

H2O Just Add Water was set here, I think. I am not sure what that is, aside from a show where contact with liquid dihydrogen monoxide causes bodily transformation into a mermaid. Do the Australian mermaids not drink water? Not knowing any personally, I can't ask.

Aside from the concerning number of merpeople, there are also a concerning number of spiders. I love spiders, but apparently the ones in Australia will eat your flesh. After I watch Good Omens S2, I suspect I will welcome this fate.

For morons like me who see a spider and go AWW, Peppa Pig's episode on teaching kids not to be afraid of spiders was banned in Australia for endangering children and not being appropriate for Australian audiences.

Sydney is a place and it has an opera house. Melbourne is a place and it has a stadium (of what sport, I am unsure). Queensland is a place and it has Arthur's grandmum's boyfriend Brian.

There is a thing called Milo, and it is a brown powder that I assume is edible. Mums say to add a teaspoon (hence why I assumed edibility) and the children add a truckful. I infer it is nice.

There is marmite. I have known this for a while. Tourists spread a lot of it on their bread. This is a mistake. Do not. The original ad involved someone eating marmite happily, and their partner kissing them on the mouth and proceeding to gag violently. It is fermented beer waste. You either hate it or love it.

There is fairy bread. If you have sticks on it you are a monster. If you have balls on it you are smart.

I'm already writing part II. humans bewilder me.

[toomuchbloodinmyalcoholsystem]

The absolute whine Pickles lets out when he realizes he is indeed going to pay Seth so he can get back into his own band kills me every time.

[fauna-and-floraa]

Fav skz moments // Do you know what else is big?

[carionto]

Meanwhile, in the background - 1

Ambassador Graham Atrasov had finally settled in to his new duties aboard the Coalition Governing Station and was on his way from a daily briefing which had dragged on quite a lot longer. Apparently some of our idiots had gone and stolen a moon of all things from a nearby star system's gas giant. A system we had no claim over and was officially considered neutral space for now, but nestled firmly within Coalition territory so that was more of a formality.

In a way, the fallout has not escalated much simply due to the fact that there is no law about stealing celestial bodies, since nobody had ever thought of that being possible. So, a new Human innovation has been introduced to the galaxy. Yay. Go us.

Jimothy's Law is what they're gonna call it, despite our protests. He only identified himself as that when arrested and by the time we found out his last name was McCallahan his first name was already all over the news and the aliens refused to change the name of the new bill. First intergalactic law named after one of our own, and it's a because of a guy named Jimothy for theft...

Still, could be worse. At least this time Abigail "Abby" Hostaz submitted a form for her new Oort cloud race track. It was blank, but still - progress. We at the very least know where she is this time.

As Graham got out of the shower, his tablet was abuzz. One of the experimental "we don't ask, you don't tell us, here's money, make science" science stations had set an entire planet on fire. Apparently it's supposed to be only partly on fire, so... okay.

Ambassador Atrasov swapped one shot of tequila for an espresso and busied himself putting on his suit again while letting the text-to-speech read out the report to him.

Several sighs and under the breaths "of course they did" later, he was back on his way to the General Assembly building. Just another day at the office.

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

Posting one Murder Drones meme a day until Episode 5 drops, Day Eight.

[saint--claire]

Thanks to Ran being one of history’s greatest mates of all time, the Easter egg hunt continues ❤️🏎

[wisteria-rainfall]

Hey anyone living in Queensland Australia the government's got a survey out asking LGBTQIA+ communities what things we think should be prioritised to strengthen outcomes for LGBTQIA+ people in Queensland.

It should be noted that just last week they passed the Births Deaths and Marriages Registration Bill that recognises same-sex and gender diverse parents on a child's birth certificate and repeals the requirement to undergo sexual reassignment surgery to change the gender on your birth certificate (+ lets you change your name and gender at the same time in a two for one deal) just last week (14/07/23) so there's a decent bet that they will actually listen to what you tell them.

Also apparently QLD is trying to pass new hate crime legislation too so this is pretty important.

The survey closes 5pm, 19 August 2023.

[what-the-fuck-khr]

oh yeah so for like the last week or two we’d been hearing some noises outside and we’ve been like. the fuck is that. always at night and crap and it’s a new animal noise we’ve not heard before. to tell you how boring our suburb is, I’d never heard a frog croak at night until this year LMFAO so! we’ve been getting many kookaburras this month (I assume bc of the heat…?) and now this so we’re like. huh.

anyways we’ve got bats

[dykefever]

bout to go berlin clubbing….. everyone wish me luck <3

[simplyghosting]

Voiced-over the dialogue for so many characters from the games I’ve played with my sister that now we’re matching up the voices for the characters from the different games, but they’re still all me.

[transmalewife]

the last thing i saw out of the window of the airport train before leaving the us was a manscaped billboard

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread

Invisible Boys

gritty Australian YA that follows three gay boys struggling with external and internalised homophobia in their small close-minded town

[syntheticpaperd0ll]

does anyone else thing blu tack looks oddly edible.

[batshit-auspol]

What about that time Australia hired a furry artist for the Olympics. Still better art than the ACT centennial hot air balloon.

2021: The Royal Australian Mint puts out a call for artists to submit portfolios of "Japanese style" cartoons, in preparation for a commemorative series of coins and artworks to be released for the Tokyo Olympics.

The campaign would have a cross promotional tie-in with Australia's largest supermarket, Woolworths where 24 million collectables themed on the artworks would be given away.

It wasn't until the final artist was selected that they realised the people at the Royal Australian Mint had somehow mistaken the anthropomorphised animal-humans that seemed popular on the internet for a popular children's cartoon franchise.

“They knew exactly what they wanted," explained the artist, "we worked together to make sure they got what they envisioned, I tailored what I made to their examples/feedback. They just didn’t know there was a word for it, basically, or that it was SO popular.”

Needless to say, when the artworks were released online people immediately called a spade a spade, headlines were made around the world, and the furry community expressed bemused joy that the Australian government had apparently just released an official fursona.

Unfortunately for those innocent soles that had planned the campaign, given they had just minted $24 million worth of furry coins they couldn't exactly scrap the whole thing, and they were forced to just push ahead while doing their best to ignore the large community of internet oddballs salivating at their every move.

Anyway, here's some of the art:

Here's some of the collectable cards given out free to kids by Woolworths:

[planetpiastri]

pairing: lando norris x fem!australian!reader [no faceclaim] summary: honestly, you kind of expected this part-time gig to just be four days of pure chaos that gave you an excuse to see an f1 race up close. then some guy in the fanzone complimented your shoes, and the rest is history. notes: requested by anon!! this has been sitting in my drafts for aaaaages, sorry love <3 y'all are so brave for putting up with me while i try and remember how tf to write these uhhh yeah this one took a turn hope u like it anyway LMFAO

liked by oscarpiastri, ynusername, and 13,024 others

ausgp Arriving in style! The lads looked great at the Melbourne Walk today 🤩🤩

view all 1,654 comments

username1 lewis and zhou are absolutely slaying!! and oscar is also there

ynusername oscar i love you but you gotta step up your game mate, i wanna wear your merch so bad but it is UGLY!!

landonorris excuse me ausgp i think my fit was deserving of recognition in this post :(

ausgp Can't compete with the hometown hero 🤷‍♂️ landonorris but daniel isn't in this either ? oscarpiastri You're funny.

landonorris

liked by mclaren, ausgp, and 811,364 others

landonorris he shoots, he scores! thanks for such a warm welcome melbourne :)

view all 7,023 comments

oscarpiastri You and I have different definitions of scoring I think

landonorris ever heard of playing the long game? oscarpiastri Nurse he's out again

username2 where's the worker with the shoes i think they're indirecting her

username3 GET THIS MAN THE SHOE LADY'S DIGITS

maxfewtrell Now that's just uncalled for

ausgp Love to see the spirit 😉

username4 aww lando always looks so happy in melbourne, he loves it here :'))

ynusername oh wtf

liked by ausgp, yourfriend, and others

ynusername busy busy busy day, absolutely buggered, but very excited for tomorrow 😁 (also peep The Shoes on the last slide)

view all 89 comments

yourfriend i mean... he's right, they are sick shoes

ynusername you're just saying that cos you made me buy them yourfriend well yes!

username5 omg are u the girl who was working the fanzone today??

ynusername i was one of them!

username6 ok if this is the shoe lady i don't blame lando for staring she's so pretty omg

yourfriend "the shoe lady" ynusername i've been titled?????

ynusername

liked by yourfriend, landonorris, and others

ynusername weirdest work day ever (included today's shoes bc apparently it's a thing now)

view all 112 comments

yourfriend that wrap was good as hell tho

ynusername deffo the most exciting part of lunch

username7 wait who is this girl and why does lando follow her?

username8 go to lovestruckln on twitter, she has a whole thread about it!

landonorris ...weird in a good way, right?

username9 your lack of rizz is astounding lando username10 bro STAND UP ynusername weird in an interesting way landonorris i'll take that

landonorris

liked by ynusername, ausgp, and 1,011,023 others

landonorris melb, you have my ❤️

view all 8,327 comments

username11 SHOE GIRLLLLLL

username12 i hope they never hard launch and he just keeps posting pics of cool sneakers

georgerussell63 You're welcome

charles_leclerc You did it, you crazy son of a bitch ausgp Where's our credit?? georgerussell63 You put the pieces in play, I moved them into checkmate ynusername you threw a shoe at me. calm down. ausgp He what???

username13 bro's collecting aussies like infinity stones

danielricciardo ?? oscarpiastri No ynusername :// landonorris 😁😁

ynusername you're cool ig 🙄

landonorris your swag style and utter disdain for me has captured my heart ynusername oh my god stop i'm blushing

tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @ironmaiden1313 @lunar-racing @lightninginab0ttle @maddie-naps @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @landossainz @chaotic_version

request: hiya! i love how funny your smau’s are and i’m begging for an aussie!reader x Lando one. maybe she works for the AusGP and they met in Melbourne? idk -anon