#an entry

[jimothysomebody]

I am halfway, give or take, through this stupid THC detox. Jaysus what a saga of shenanigans this fuckery has been. My brain chemistry is way too delicate for this shit. Props to people who can handle it cuz it's not for me.

I liked how I used before... occasional vaping here and there, idk if it was just amping up my use of the cheap delta 8 stuff, or sometimes being able to vape the proper real deal cannabis carts fresh from the dispensary (medical and recreational is legal here in Ohio)... or just my overall inconsistent use of either/both, but this has been so taxing on me.

In the worst of my highly anxious (read paranoid or even fkn cannabis withdrawal induced psychosis) episodes feared everything from brain cancer to POTS to stroke to aneurysm to diabetes to hypoglycemia to vitamin toxicity to hypoxia to blood pressure issues... but ultimately, so far, everything... *EVERYTHING* has fit the timeline and symptoms of withdrawal and detoxing. Sleep disturbances, changes to mood & anxiety, changes to appetite, headaches, stomach issues, chills & sweating, short lived episodes of lightheadedness & confusion/loss of focus out of nowhere have been the scariest for me... to top it off, I think being anorexic from February 'til April exacerbated it, too...

The dizzy/woozy spells began late March, and have been a regular (but not daily) occurrence since. Some days I've had no symptoms for long stretches of time or when I did they were very minor, some days I've had none at all. Prior to quitting cold turkey on the 12th symptoms seem to have correlated to my pattern of vaping. I'd vape, feel better for a day or so, and then go right back to being miserable.

Eventually I saw the pattern and decided to test the theory that, just maybe, my own sporadic and inconsistent habits were keeping me in a near constant state of withdrawal. For the most part I was a light weekend user in the evenings, but... I'd vape with my bf when he came over with the good stuff, or when we hung out with friends who also had better stuff than I do. I also just did more some days than others, weekdays & weekends both... but the days I had the good stuff I'd feel better... until I didn't.

I *almost* wish I was a daily or heavier user... just to not feel this way anymore... it's not a constant horrible feeling but when I feel it it's not great and it's kinda scary. I like getting a little bit high, relaxed or silly, I also love what it can do for my anxiety and mood, it's also been a great help for occasional aches and pains... and it can be very nice to do socially, but I don't really feel compelled to get high that regularly or that much, and don't really need or even want to, *especially* if I know that lurking around the corner is this absolute nightmare of withdrawal that I've been dealing with since like March 18th if I don't keep up with that kind of use.

Today was day 10... 10 days without any thc from anything. I still expect withdrawal symptoms for another week or so, but if the last 10 days symptoms lining up with the detox timeline of symtpoms and when they most commonly start to occur have been any indicator, it absolutely *has* been withdrawal I've been struggling with, and I can't fuckin' wait until I'm through this. God what a nightmare. I've had withdrawal from caffeine, from antidepressants like Pristiq & Effexor, from sugar (which nearly put me in a psych ward, 2 of the most depressed and anxious weeks of my life, jaysus never again), but this... this fucking experience is in a league of it's own, it's single handedly been the worst... and I'm so glad to be (or at least, I'm convinced) half way through this.

[trainwreckgenerator]

a face you'd find on the side of a milk carton

[slyandthefamilybook]

why do you guys talk like you think not voting means no one gets elected

[wonderful101gecs]

sometimes i just think about Overwatch and just get sad

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[mystristages]

[healing-is-cool]

You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts again. You're going to be in awe of a sunset. Watch your favorite show while you eat your favorite food. Find money on the street. Discover a great band you haven't heard of before. You will find your way back.

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

HAATEEEE hate actually. that overweight is considered a more pc nice term than fat. like i need the word fat to become destigmatized right now because im tired of people talking circles around trying to say chubby or big or plus size as catchalls because fat is a fine word. its fine. i know its been deemed derogatory by our culture but thats because being fat is deemed bad anyways but i think its a better word than calling people overweight like over what weight hm? what weight are you saying they are over. normal?? fuck you

[fillianore]

kill them with kindness? wrong, eldritch blast

[jimothysomebody]

This last week has been interesting. I've been wanting to write at greater length regarding life recently but I haven't had the desire or drive, but am now feeling compelled to write just a bit. I've recently been seen by a proper primary care doctor now, for the first time in much too long. Trying to take better care of myself. Tuesday I had an interesting episode during a blood draw where I came to and saw myself surrounded by a team of professionals taking care of me, one of which told me I'd fainted. My BP had dropped too fast too quickly, apparently, but I very quickly recooperated. I wish the first reading was in the notes somewhere, I think they said it was like 80 something over 60 something (scary low), when it was like 122 over 78 (not bad) when my doctor saw me soon before the bloodwork was ordered. Lab results are back, am awaiting a proper discussion with my doctor but the results, if I'm reading them correctly, appear to indicate a minor case of Von Willebrands type 1, a bleeding disorder that effects how the blood clots, which I thankfully have never noticed any issue with abnormal bleeding or bruising, it may just be something to monitor, I know myself pretty well and doubt I need any treatment other than perhaps a touch more iron in my diet. Am currently dealing with a minor cold that seemed to have started sometime Thursday. Not very snotty & sniffly today, more congested and head cold-ish, occasional fatigue/dizziness, but overall feeling better than I did yesterday so that's hopefully a good sign. That aside, things seem pretty okay right now... it's nice.

[potato-lord-but-not]

entry for @lukewarmtomatosoup’s dtiys on instagram !! he’s sooooo <333

[slyandthefamilybook]

never thought I'd say tumblr should copy something from Twitter but tumblr desperately needs a community notes feature where everyone is forced to see when posts have misinfo, instead of the corrections just getting lost in the notes as people continue to blithely spread propaganda

[the-grey-hunt]

hawkins' description of jonathan reads like a pet bio on a shelter website

[zooliminology]

An entity found alone in the Far Plane. The entity seems to do nothing in its environment except exist. Its relationship with the plant-like organisms that grow around it is currently unknown.

[rixareth]

As requested, I have examined my fondness for terrible characters, and I have concluded that I like them because they're terrible and I'm not sorry.

[akanemnon]

We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)

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