#and Dracula is in fact not a normal guy

[agroveinthesavagegarden]

What if this year Jonathan gets to the castle and Dracula is just a normal guy.

[defyprovidence]

thinking tonight about hector having the realization of 'but i am human too'

[missmonkeymode]

Im genuinely baffled by the decision that the author of An Unauthorised Fan Treatise chose to make the story into a novel with proper prose. Like? Not to be pretentious but literally the whole draw of the story is that its structured like that. Like. The medium in which the story was delivered was its whole Deal, and you want to take that away to make it into a normal story? Youre taking the internet out of The Internet Story you made? Really???

[see-arcane]

In hindsight, the thing that really gets me about how things worked out during Dracula’s time playing host to Jonathan is that he could have been completely normal about, like, everything

Sure, sure, play up the eccentric elderly gentleman act, but just skip the whole ‘invade Jonathan’s privacy and give away the No Reflection problem followed by throwing his mirror out the window’ thing.

Maybe don’t actively entrap your nice solicitor friend who had, up until recently, been surprisingly chill with your general weirdness despite all the locals wailing at him to Beware Your Freaky Castle

How about using your own front door to go grocery and victim shopping instead of going scuttling in your lizard fashion? Or! OR! Turn yourself into mist like all your vampire lady friends can clearly do so as not to risk Jonathan seeing you act like a gecko on the cliffside

All these giveaways and his general spooky bullshit were entirely avoidable! Even being caught doing the housework by Jonathan could be explained away; or better yet, turned to his favor. Just say all the locals who were moaning about monsters are just so superstitious that he cannot pay anyone enough to stay on as staff (bar a certain carriage driver, but he does not have to live on the grounds). And he is not so feeble an old man that he cannot manage the company of his new friend, who has forgiven so many eccentricities of his already

Cue Jonathan ‘I Will Put Work and Manners Before My Own Life’ Harker immediately folding back on his suspicions like a deck of ashamed Victorian playing cards. To think he’d thought so ill of some lonely old man doing his best to keep up appearances for pride’s sake, his money only good in a faraway land because the place around him is so fearful of bogeymen! It would have flowed so easily from there--Dracula would’ve suckered (ha ha) him into redoubling on his social allowances, maybe even wheedled a proper introduction from the good solicitor on his return to England

Here is Count Dracula, who played attendant to a young man so below his station, simply for the sake of being a proper host. A noble! Taking care of the needs of a commoner just a half-step into the middle class! It’d read as eccentric bordering on endearing, if nothing else

But no. He had to pull the monster card at every turn. Had to play mind games. Had to actively fuck around and be a big obvious bloodsucking jerk about it.

Now, the obvious reason he decided to imprison, toy with, and ultimately promise Jonathan to his ladies as their new blood bag/boytoy is that the guy’s a sadist. Just plain old Capital E Evil. Just for giggles. Which doesn’t make sense when compared to his actions as a host. 

Because this is fucking Dracula. He could’ve broken every bone in Jonathan’s body but his right hand, forced all the information and paperwork he wanted out of the guy, and chucked him in his Girlfriend Cellar. The End

The fact that he does go out of his way to be charismatic, chatty, and caring of Jonathan’s needs and wants suggests something like a very warped earnestness. He doesn’t just want Harker for his plans. He wants Harker. Whether we go all the way down that homoerotic road with that want or not, it’s made clear in later chapters (and his own covetousness during the scene with the vampire babes) that Dracula isn’t just out to kill people off, he’s cherry-picking new members to add to his harem/collective/colony/Hematophagous Club

However bizarre or cruel or friendly*** he is about it, Dracula wants Jonathan in his thrall too.

Which, again, could have been done in a less obviously, pointlessly traumatizing way. Seeing as the Count is clearly not an idiot, this must have occurred to him too. So what the fuck happened, Vlad? My theory:

He might--might!--have originally planned to be much more lowkey about the vampire business. Maybe he even planned to let the dude go back to England, make his friendly intro of his good buddy the Count, and then get on with the biting. Instead, he got hit with the same impulse that will inevitably strike him when he get’s an eyeful of Lucy and Mina. Namely...

Dracula, pre-Jonathan: Okay, everything’s in order. No windows for the girls to get through, doors locked, rooms ready, kitchen full. Good, good. I’m ready to be extremely normal about this transaction.

Jonathan, handsome and winsome, warily trusting, radiating the hopeful good vibes of 1000 golden retrievers: Hi? <:)

Dracula, rewriting his entire game plan on the carriage ride back: Ohhh I can’t not be weird about this

[nabanna]

lord help us all I've been given a reason to think about Dracula novel/Drizzt series crossover

I love following canyourfavesurvivecastledracula (I especially love seeing characters I'm not familiar with on there) and they recently got an ask about my little guy Drizzt Do'Urden but didn't know all that much about him BUT YOU SEE (unfortunately for everyone who knows me in any way) this is a crossover of the two major fandoms that have become my entire personality in the past year or so! so as someone who's eagerly awaiting the return of Dracula Daily Season AND reading multiple of the Drizzt series books as we speak (simultaneously! help..) and considers him a blorbo to tenderly and lovingly put in the microwave to watch him dodge the radiation like an ant, I'm taking a crack at it because this looks like fun :D

Making my own post because this is purely to be enrichment in my enclosure and also it's.. gotten So So Very Long.. also pouring one out for my other account where I normally would post this sort of thing that I simply cannot log into anymore for mysterious and unknown reasons. (Literally it's still like There and I can See It but trying to log in takes me to 'make a new blog' pages and... wait I'm silly I think I know why. the email died. no idea how to get back in without the email.)

ANYWAY

To the thought experiment:

Could Drizzt Do'Urden Survive Castle Dracula?

Short answer: Yes, it's not a fun time for him, he saves the baby though!

Long answer:

Using the blog's stated general criteria...

Overall approach to the supernatural:

Is an elf, knows what a vampire is, however D&D vampires work differently from Dracula vampires so he would not have all the information on that front if it came to a confrontation. (Knowing the Drizzt books, it would definitely come to at least one fight or at least a tense chase sequence.)

Also depends on how quickly he clocked that this is, in fact, a vampire, and whether Dracula could catch on to him catching on and spin things in a way that kept Drizzt relatively chill OR decide it's time to strike (which he could probably escape) (though now I'm thinking about Vampire!Drizzt....... no no I shouldn't.... unless.....)

The presence of Guenhwyvar (constellation panther BFF my beloved) would afford him some protection other than Dracula's whims, and companionship which is Very Important as he has been known to go feral without sufficient friendship.

Probably takes all the local superstitions very seriously because where he comes from if someone's like "there are ghosts that come out on certain days" and "there are monsters in these woods" they mean it very Very literally.

Dracula's general inhuman behaviors he could take in stride and adapt to pretty well I think, he's known a lot of really eccentric people and is from Fantasy Zone, so the idea that Dracula isn't human wouldn't be scary or even all that weird. Vampire, yeah that's sus, but just non-human? you walk past a hundred non-humans on a single street in most cities where he's from. Many of the eccentricities might be explainable just by going "Ah, he seems to be some kind of wizard. Yeah that checks out." Doesn't seem to be sleeping on a normal schedule or at all? Drizzt does that too! Sees too well in the dark/doesn't seem to use lights much? Darkvision and light sensitivity, same! Moves inhumanly fast? A little concerning but why not. Tells stories from centuries ago as if he was there? Elves do that all the time and it's because they were, in fact, there. (Also some human wizards do all of that too, just because.)

Now because things work differently between these two settings I'm not sure how much his general familiarity with things in the Forgotten Realms would help him here, like he's taking it all in stride but does he know how to protect himself against a Dracula-type vampire? Does he know magic is so incredibly rare and (apparently) usually evil or does he think this is just an unusually magic-less region?

Whether they would accept the crucifix from the old lady:

He is a polite young man so yes of course he would, and because the lady doesn't know what a drow (or an elf?) is, she probably wouldn't think "evil!!!" like most of the common folk in the Realms do, so much as "weird-looking (yet androgynously beautiful) young man" or depending on the local superstitions may assume he's some sort of fey being? or just like, really exceptionally foreign foreigner.

Assuming she still offers it, he would accept it despite not knowing what sort of deity it's for, because he recognizes it's a token of goodwill and he loves expressions of goodwill. Would definitely go and write about it in his little diary to both wonder what she's so afraid of/what sort of protection it affords, and also gush about the kindness and possibly whether this expands or aligns with his current understanding of morality.

This plus the other Superstitious Behaviors would clue him in that something's up so he'd be going in with that knowledge, prepared to figure out what's going on and what the villagers are so afraid of.

Whether they would go exploring after being told not to:

100% and he might even be stealthy enough to mostly get away with it!

Demonstrably does not like being restricted, only went along with this stuff when he was younger because the indoctrination ensured that he literally had no idea there was any other option (also his dad sparred with him daily to get his energy out so his zoomies were managed)

If Dracula really truly wanted to discourage him from any particular places he might just need to come up with an explanation, but he might also be entertained enough by Drizzt's sneaking and snooping to let him roam and see where it goes. Drizzt is better at stealth than Jonathan but they have different flavors of wet cat charm which Dracula may want to handle differently.

Depending on how you read the scene with the vampire ladies trying to "kiss" Jonathan, like how much of it was vampire charm making him feel kinda into it or potentially more of a paralysis situation, it could go differently just because Drizzt may or may not be able to break out and run away very fast, or just kinda endure it while feeling Really Bad And Gross about the sexual overtones. (Based on instances such as him resisting drugs and exiting the room as fast as possible when a priestess was coming onto him, and going feral to push through a paralyzing poison to prevent an assault on another person.) (I read him as incredibly demisexual and he demonstrates being sex-repulsed to everyone outside of the very short list of people he's actively very close friends with and attracted to.) (His feral side has been known to come out in these types of situations but not all of them and it wouldn't necessarily always work either.)

The girlies would not put him off of exploring for very long but he would likely be trying to avoid all possible run-ins with them from that point forward. Unfortunately for him he is a tasty little guy and I think the girlies would actively mess with him against Dracula's orders, perhaps in part because he's an elf and they find that interesting and engaging. Enrichment for their enclosure! Horrible time for Drizzt. Exactly the way the vampire squad likes it!

Verdict: He has a bad time but he's gotta run around he has the zoomies. Dracula could possibly prevent this, if he wanted to prevent it, by letting him into a training yard of some kind so he can get out his energy.

Ability to manage the whims of a Rich Jerk / hold Dracula's interest:

This one is harder and probably depends on the circumstances of him going to the castle, like what his goal there is, and around what point in the timeline he's at. I haven't gotten through all 30-something books just yet but my answer is Probably?

Just the fact of him being an elf and having some innate magic abilities could possibly be enough for Dracula to find him interesting enough to keep around. He's not a wizard and his innate spells are mostly harmless, more battlefield management than anything, so he's not magically a particularly powerful threat to Dracula, just decently interesting. He could also go on about how magic works where he's from, though going on too much about his inherent drow magic would make him uncomfortable (which Dracula would probably like) and especially like, if he got into the ins and outs of Menzoberranzan specifically.

He would definitely bring out the active listening skills for Dracula's history and war stories. Might want to get examples of any particularly interesting fighting maneuvers. I wonder if Dracula would indulge him in a spar or let him practice? The castle must have a training yard somewhere, but would he let Drizzt keep his weapons/borrow some?

Usually good enough at reading the room to determine when is or is not a good time for the scimitars and the panther (combat mode) to come out.

Not the most charismatic, but insightful and clever. (autism-ass elf. elftism.......)

Raised in a very controlling environment with a strict social hierarchy where he was simultaneously part of a high-ranking noble family but also as far down the social ladder as he could be otherwise (male, youngest child, was supposed to be assigned spell component at birth, doesn't like conforming) so, again, he wouldn't like it but he could probably manage it.

Partly depends on how much effort Dracula is willing to put in to make the Friendship believable and keep Drizzt in the dark, or if he's interesting enough to more carefully balance a web of manipulation around.

I'm gonna say this point gets a Yes

Assuming he realized the vampires are Bad but too dangerous to 2v4, he would be so uncomfortable for most of it but is also funky enough that Dracula would probably find his discomfort and weird-but-trying-to-be-so-polite mannerisms entertaining. Dracula would decide this is his blorbo now. I may be biased but this is tumblr so actually Dracula himself said all of this to me personally in DMs.

Facility for climbing without gear (free soloing):

Lizard fashion? Spider fashion...

He Is On The Walls

Multiple points in the books involve him sneaking around places by climbing on walls and I believe elves are canonically, in general, weirdly good at parkour. So yeah!

Whether they would choose to risk being eaten by vampires over the certain death of being eaten by wolves:

IF he has weapons, the wolves aren't really certain death because he is a whirling tornado of death, I am so sorry wolves. If not then he might be able to parkour out of their way? He probably wouldn't want to fight the wolves though, because he is a disney princess nature lover and would rather free them from Dracula's control if possible.

Depending on how much he could figure out about how vampires work here, he may have some ideas for how to turn a fight against them to his advantage or otherwise.

Wait, this happens after the baby incident, right? If so then he's not getting to this point plot-wise, though he might have come back to try fighting the vampires after saving the baby, and depending on how he's doing that, he might still have to contend with the wolves at some point.

Decision: Doesn't want to go against the wolves at any point, but if necessary, he can out-parkour them.

General analysis from Me:

Main counts on the original post are accurate! He accepts the cross, survives the social situations as long as necessary, and escapes with the baby to give it back to the villagers upset but otherwise intact.

As soon as he realized the vampires were menacing the locals to any extent, he would decide to figure out a way to free the area of their evil. Unfortunately the best way for him to figure out anything about the vampires is to stay in close quarters with them for a little while. He has been known to pretend to side with an enemy to gain information or an advantage in a fight, but I'm not sure how long he could keep it up.

Dracula might string him along with Friendship (Drizzt loves friendship so much if he doesn't have friendship he will explode) but he would have to get his baby-eating roommates to play along and behave or else they could easily freak the guy out too much for it to remain believable.

Either way, Drizzt is not staying in that castle beyond the point of another person (the baby) being put in danger. There's at least one point in the books where he's protecting a baby while fighting some enemies and he always puts the baby's safety first. Also Guen can respawn, so if it's absolutely necessary to, she can get taken to 0 HP distracting the vampires while Drizzt improvises some way to get out of there with the baby intact.

That's as far as "survive Castle Dracula" usually goes because well he got out of the castle alive but now I am also thinking about possible plot beyond that point...

First of all the villagers?? Assuming they saw him as Really Weird Foreigner or perhaps some sort of fair folk rather than Literal Demon Spawn the worst they'd do is probably be very tense and silent after taking the baby back and let him leave uncontested without welcoming him in. Best case scenario is some or all of them, or at least the baby's mother, being grateful enough to help him out a little. But like what's he gonna Do after that? (Also if the villagers think he's some sort of fey guy then would they think there's something up with the baby now...)

I mean he knows there's baby-eating vampires in that castle now and he's very against the idea of leaving baby-eating vampires around. Even if he can't 2v4 all of them plus their minions he'd wanna do something about that. (2v4 rather than 1v4 because Guen counts as one) Would he try to gather allies to assault the castle? If he learned that there's times when he can expect them all to be asleep in their coffins would he try to just go back in and stab them in their coffin-sleep? Would he leave the area if he knows the local people are still in danger or would he reason that he needs to find help and come back?

(Also raising to myself the question of whether this is "specifically only Drizzt has been isekai'd into the novel Dracula" or if there's perhaps a little more crossover type setting blending, or if others from the Realms are in there, is Elminster around I know he's canonically been to Real Life Earth, would Van Helsing have some kind of tangent about how this has allegedly happened before, there's an implication that vampires aren't even Van Helsing's favorite cryptid what if d&d type elves are actually higher on that list and he knows all about them, is it even possible to put something resembling the plot and characters of Dracula into a D&D setting, what if I could make a Domain of Dread out of this–)

No matter what happened, Drizzt would be writing SO many diary entries which is perhaps the true main reason why he would survive, he's got that journaling and diary-keeping swag just like my good friend Jonathan Harker

(This is all assuming he has Guen because if he didn't have Guen he would wilt away of the Miseries. Might un-wilt specifically to save the baby and then re-wilt as soon as he remembered there's no kitty.)

[le-velo-pour-dru]

I have a slideshow to share with you all. Ahem.

Thank you for your consideration. ❤️

[ID 1: A title slide that reads, "Why Dallon Weekes is Really A VAMPIRE, By Dru". The word "vampire" is written in red in a harsher font and in all caps. To the left of the title is a photo of Dallon Weekes under purplish lighting during an iDKHOW concert. To the right of the title is clip art of a stereotypical vampire sitting up inside of a coffin, a glass of wine in his hand.

ID 2: A slide titled, "Introduction". The body of the slide states, "Dallon James Weekes. You know him. You love him. ...Or at least, you think you do. But what if he was hiding a more sinister secret below his floral print shirts and immense musical talent? In this presentation, I will prove that the Dallon Weekes you think you know is actually a bloodsucking creature of the night." An image is below this of Dallon with red eyes, smiling and giving a thumbs up. The caption says, "Ignore the h8rs and keep being a demon, guys. That's what really matters."

ID 3: A slide titled, "Reason #1: His Lyrics". The body of the slide states, "To start, let's take a look at his lyrics, specifically the lyrics of his song Kiss Goodnight." Below this is a screenshot of some lyrics from Kiss Goodnight, which read, "Should you invite me in / To spend the night on the floor / Oh please believe I'll believe I'll be a gentlemen / Or you can show me the door". There's more text below this, which states, "Pay special attention to that first line. He says, 'Should you invite me in', suggesting to his wife-to-be to invite him to her place. Now, why am I pointing this out? Because who is it that needs to be specifically invited to places before entering? That's right. VAMPIRES." The word "vampires" is bolded, red, and in all caps.

ID 4: A slide titled, "Reason #2: His Youthfulness". The body of the slide states, "Look at Dallon in the 2000s." Below this is a photo of Dallon from when he was in The Brobecks. He's looking to the camera with a smile. The slide then says, "Now look at him today." Below this is a photo of Dallon during an iDKHOW concert. He's speaking into a microphone and holding up a water bottle. At the bottom of the slide, it says, "Not much difference, right? Twenty years have passed, and he still looks as young as ever. Now, who else are known to stay looking the same age across long stretches of time? That's right. VAMPIRES." Once again, the word "vampires" is bolded, red, and in all caps.

ID 5: A slide titled, "Reason #3: His Hint Hiding In Plain Sight". The body of the slide states, "Now, the final reason. I've saved the best for last. For our final piece of evidence hinting towards Dallon's vile vampirism, let's look at Le Velo Pour Deux, shall we?" Below this is a screenshot of some lyrics from Le Velo Pour Deux, which say, "Vampires never have to complain, / Of living a dull circumstance / So let's all pretend that we are undead, / In turn of the century France." Below this, it says, "Again, pay special attention to the first line. Or even just the first word! Because what is it that he refers to? VAMPIRES. This begs the question: how would Dallon know anything about the way vampires live? Well, if you take all the previously discussed evidence into account, it becomes clear that the only possible reason for this is that he himself IS a VAMPIRE." Both instances of the word "vampire" are bolded, red, and in all caps.

ID 6: A slide titled, "In Conclusion...". The body of the slide states, "After viewing this slideshow, it must become clear to you that Dallon Weekes is, in fact, a vampire. This just goes to show you that you can't always trust your first impressions. Where you may see a kind, funny, charismatic father of two with outrageous musical talent, there may actually be a bloodthirsty, fanged monster lingering just beneath the surface..." Below this is clipart of Dracula edited to have Dallon's head over the normal head. /end ID]

[honourablejester]

Okay, normally this wouldn’t be something I’d go near at all, but I saw some things fly past my dash on the new James Somerton youtube controversy, and I vaguely remembered watching one of the guy’s videos a while back (I can’t actually remember which one, I just remember he was talking about growing up in a poor town where people were paid under the table as a regular fact of life? I can’t remember the topic, which maybe says something about the dude’s presentation style). So I got curious and watched first hbomberguy’s plagiarism video and then Todd in the Shadow’s misinformation video on the guy. The basic takeaway of which appears to be that 90% of his output is stolen, and the parts that aren’t are often wildly incorrect instead. Anyway. I realise this is a weird thing to get hung up on given the much more serious issues of, you know, plagiarism and theft and misogyny and frankly astonishing opinions on queer history, but …

There’s a section in Todd’s video (around 1.25.00) about Somerton’s interpretations of various vampire media from his video on ‘Vampires and the Gays that love them’, and I got to ‘Gary Oldman was the first fuckable Dracula’, and … what?

It’s around 38.10 in Somerton’s video, and the full quote is as follows:

“Again, the significant element here is how readily Coppola depicts a vampire who fucks, whereas Dracula is more prominently depicted as a reclusive humanoid monster. From Nosferatu, Plan Nine from Outer Space, Salem’s Lot, the Last Voyage of the Demeter, this figure has almost exclusively been painted white, and shown with clownishly monstrous features. But Coppola creates a monster for whom the audience looks at and completely understands what Mina is so horny about.”

I’m going to leave out everything else he says about Coppola’s Dracula, because … wow, there’s a lot of interesting opinions in there, but …

Christopher Lee. And Bela fucking Lugosi.

The man cannot be unaware of the two single most famous depictions of Dracula ever put on film, right? Dracula has been ‘more prominently depicted’ as the Nosferatu-inspired Count Orlok type monstrosities, and Coppola’s is the first ‘sexy Dracula’ on film? Like. What?

As Todd says, anyone even passingly aware of Dracula films is gonna go … Hammer? Universal? Bela Lugosi. The single portrayal that has been shaping Dracula’s iconography for nearly a literal century? THE film Dracula? The one literally everyone is going to think of?

Like. It’s such a weird choice. If he was going to say something about what you could get away with onscreen now vs in the 60s or 30s, or about the evolving tension between the sexier Draculas vs the more monstrous, which Chris Lee’s Dracula was an element of, a more visceral, animalistic portrayal vs Lugosi’s suave charm, arriving to what Coppola’s could actually explicitly put on the screen, but … This is framed like Universal and Hammer just didn’t exist. At all. It cherry-picks such a weird selection of examples of the Nosferatu style portrayals (and not even of Dracula, just vampires in general), and just flat never mentions the two single most famous Dracula film franchises ever made.

I’m curious what the comment section for this video was like. It’s been locked down now because of the controversy, so I can’t tell, but I’m assuming … I mean, that can’t have flown, right? As Todd says, literally anyone could have picked up on that one.

It’s just such a strange thing to choose to say. There maybe is a fair bit to say about ideas of sexiness in film across different decades, or if he meant that Coppola’s Dracula was the first to literally fuck on screen because of what could be shown in different eras, or even which Dracula he personally found most sexy, but …

Why would you choose to say, with a straight face, that Dracula has most prominently been depicted Nosferatu-style when literally anyone with the remotest knowledge of Dracula is going to point directly at Bela Lugosi and his ninety years worth of imitations and rejections and parodies and rebuttals? Nosferatu is a silent era classic and a periodic cult revival for vampire depictions, but THE movie vampire in popular consciousness is still Lugosi’s suave, sinister European nobleman in classy eveningwear. Any random Joe Soap off the street is gonna know that. Saying the Nosferatu depiction is the most prominent is just flat not true and everyone knows it.

Sorry. Again, I know this is a weird thing to get hung up on, but it’s such a weird choice. I get selective cherry picking of evidence to make your chosen point, but you can’t just ignore the one depiction that literally everyone knows and expect them to just nod along. Right?

Anyway. Weirdness aside. Carry on.

[the-crow-binary]

You guys want to know a fun flower fact ?

Lilies represent pure love, the nobility of feelings, but also marital union. After the death of someone, they are used to represent the purification of their soul before they reach heaven.

So now that we established that... What about we take a look at two lovely pics ? <3

First is Mathias Cronqvist and the corpse of Elisabetha, covered with lilies. Second is...

Dracula from CoD.

It's interesting to see that Mathias has a few lilies of his own. If Elisabetha's probably represent all of what i mentioned above, Mathias' lilies might only represent his feelings for her, how deeply he cared, his union with her. But it's interesting to interpret them as some sort of "mockery" of the "purification of the soul before reaching heaven" part, knowing how that man ends up. <3 Dead ? Yes (kinda). Pure ? No. Heaven ? LOL. LMAO. <3 His lilies are also clean. Just normal, pure white flowers...

Now if we look at Dracula's lily, not only is there only one, but... it's bloodied. And while Mathias' lilies were "attached" to him, Dracula is actually holding his... by the tip of it's rod. As if he could let go at any moment, as if it would slip from his hand from the slightest wrong movement. It's a very delicate situation. And the representation of his current state of mine. This man is broken. He loved Lisa so deeply he regained his humanity back while with her, but everything shattered when she died. If the lily represents his love for Lisa and what was left of his humanity, things part of him is still hanging onto... you can be sure it fell off his hand the moment Trevor killed him. Grief and rage took place in his heart, turning a love that was pure into something unholy. Into an obsession, a fuel for his madness. And while he lost the flower, the blood remained. He's forever tainted, unable to escape his sadness and anger.

This is my interpretation, though I'm sure there can be more. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[casualgay-mer]

Keymaster appreciation post

There's something to be said about his initial design and I will say this something. We are taking the original game as an example, but will touch on the remaster too.

The design

How the fuck did Poki do it? How can you make a character that looks like an absolute dork AND kinda intimidating at the same time? I tell you how, but before that - let's examine these two faces.

Unfortunately, Poki clearly had a trouble with the Keymaster staying on model, I call the first version "squarey" (you can see this version of his face during the first dialogue and during KM wait in the truck) and the second's "long-ey" (you can see this one everywhere else) but I will say that I generally prefer the second version - the long face one.

Why? The look is a bit more human and not "I don't have no fucking eyelids", the eyebrows are so much prominent, which adds to the look, and the bang is a bit longer.

So what's so cool and actually funny about his design?

He combines two archetypes: a general creep (sick (not in a cool way) eye and skin colors (dude may wanna check his liver tho), an indication of sunken eyes, the stache) and a coolass emoboy (this fucking haircut, smug talk, drama). Like these two guys fused together:

Like dude what the fuck

Also his skin color is fucking sickening you know why? Ever tried to rub your skin along - say - shoulder? Ever got these partricles of dead skin? Have you ever saw what color does it get, when you accumulate it enough in your hand?

That's right! They are morbidly greay-ishly green. Exact hue of his skin. THE DUDE HAS SO MUCH DEAD SKIN - ppls kinda shed - ON HIS BOD IT MIGHT AS WELL BE 20% of his body weight.

The voice/s

Original VA for Keymaster goes for a top notch mix of freako and smug. He sounds both flirtatious and a biiit unstable, like a person who tries their best to hit you up but clearly haven't slept for like 3 days - the tone and mannerisms are all over the place, the voice itself is the perfect balance of semi-deep and whispery. I love this performance - it confuses you into whether or not can you trust the guy . An original performance and the one to be respected.

(sorry for the little snippet of another voice at the end - this let's player doesn't know how to shut up and I am too lazy to record it again from a different source)

Russian VA for Keymaster - who based his performance off the original one - DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD?? Dat voice is deep as FUCK, thicc even, you can't call the voice "thicc" but this one just IS. The whispery part is gone absolutely, KM sounds kinda normal even, but holy shit did the VA turned it up to 100. This one is a favourite of mine, absolutely. I don't even give a shit about what he says, this is some ASMR shit. Absolute 0 wonder why he tricked most of russian let's players into actually trusting him. The only criticism I may ha

English VA went to the opposite direction of the spectrum, he went all fancy kind of dracula over the top performance, kinda like, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY and while he does sound unhinged, there is no doubt he's a sicko actually. That, or just a theater kid. But no shame on this actor tho, just bc I don't really like this particular performance, doesn't mean it's TERRIBLE ok?

Basicly I made a chart:

Go with your preference of choice, my dudes.

The personality and motives

Holy fucking shit so hear me out.

I don't like him around the fact that he's a flity pretty possible serial killer.

I like him for the fact of being RESENTFUL about it, possibly hating it about himself.

When he killed the pastor it clearly was made on impulse, and he hated it so much that he locked himself - and therefore Edna - up. Despite the smarts he's clearly impulsive in nature - like getting off to drive a Dr's car ABSOLUTELY NOT KNOWING HOW TO and ONLY THINKING AFTER THE FACT, there is like nothing going on in this head.

I am not excusing the guy's actions, but there is a big chance he just went a full on Sam Gordon just with no curse involved.

...

HOLY SHIT IS KEY MASTER A BLACK MIRROR REFERENCE

THE FIVE KEYS SAM HAS TO FIND, THE SURROUNDINGS, THE "OOPS FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL PPL I HAVE ISSUES I HATE MYSELF *commits a sewer side*" AND THE LOOKS?

Okay I am just overthinking it at this point. BUUUT THIS GAME WAS MADE IN GOOD OLD 2003 AND PRETTY BELOVED IN GERMANY AND WE HAVE WALKING REFERENCES LIKE PROFESSOR NOK SOOOOOOOO

...

So anyways.

The conculsion

Key Master is great not because he's your stereotypical mass murderer POS. There is a lot of unpack and a lot of empathy to be felt if you try to think on how come he ended up the way he did.

He actively hates himself and doesn't enjoy the way he is which is - unfortunately - preeeetty much deserved.

I will write more abt the dude later - especially on my fav theory that says he's not real

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[damianbugs]

Tw: Antisemitism

court of owls was such an interesting concept cause like, i very much like the fact that owls are bats predators but, the story itself reads like some antisemitic conspiracy theory, it's so bad, the whole secret society thing and the fact that they kidnap children to turn them into talons, like yikes.

and having the court of owls be responsible for major crimes in gotham (death of dick's parents and the death of the wayne parents) feels like such a copout.

like: no the corruption of gotham isn't due to its capitalist nature and its exploitation of the middle and lower classes which in turn makes them sometimes turn to a life of crime, no it's actually because bird people want gotham to flop for....reasons not given?

it's such a stupid antisemitic concept and the fact that it's in gotham knights is just so :/

i have always hated the court of owls, even before i became aware of its antisemitic and problematic implications. back then it always felt like a lazy and cheat device to end the story and it often times felt lacklustre (for the reasons you have explained), especially with how it changes very important deaths in gotham.

bruce's parents being killed by a completely normal guy and found themselves victims to an unfortunate and completely avoidable situation, makes batman's entire code and premise SO interesting. he works to prevent and to protect people from what can be (to him) fixed in gotham.

dick's parents being killed by tony zucco, who worked for maroni, develops gothams history in a way that is SO MUCH BETTER than anything the court of owls did. how gotham is routed in old money and organised crime (or it was, less so much now), that works as a long chain that gets innocent people caught in the crossfire. it's why i particularly dislike the very popular au of talon!dick, or any court of owls!batfam aus.

so even before we get to talk about how the entire concept is offensive and wrong, its already a terrible idea. it was so disappointing to see it be the main storyline in Gotham Knights, but the actual plot of that game leaves a lot to be desired as it is. talia and the owls was my biggest complaint about it. i really need people to forget about it and stop using it in all their projects!!!

in theory i suppose a secret cult in gotham COULD work, and it has before. there are many well done stories about it, but to me, the court of owls is not one of those stories. it has no direction or motive beside the very basic one of ultimate control. boring! as you said, i would appreciate a story focused on class inequalities and corruption in a way that leaves space for actual resolution or at least nuanced storytelling.

its a bit on the nose but 'batman: the cult' and 'batman: legends of the dark knight: conspiracy (#86-88)' are much better alternative read, or the slightly less on the nose but kind of still on topic 'batman & dracula' trilogy. be warned they, unsurprisingly, tackle some very heavy and mature themes!

[pinkiepiebones]

Renfield’s Suit, part 1

*cracks knuckles* *cracks wrists* *cracks corn* Alright, I learned how to play mt BluRay at 0.1x speed, so I took... about 100 screencaps from the first half hour or so of the movie for suit references. You’re WELCOME @ninjathrowingstork​ and everyone else who wanted this!!! heart emoji

So first I think it’s important to start with this Behind the Scenes shot of Proper Normal Lawyer Guy Renfield. I don’t know shit about suits. Does this look like the tattered thing he was wearing in the movie? Is it the same, um, lapels?

This is such a quick shot in the flashback but it’s important because 1) suspenders and B) it confirms! Renfield spent time in the asylum after being found in the cargo hold of the Vesta (it was the Vesta, right? Or was he on the Demeter as well? In the 1931 movie it was the Vesta...). This particular shot is from when Van Helsing and Seward heard Renfield laughing because he was eavesdropping on them :3

Anyway. Hoo boy, Current Year Renfield. I took this shot to highlight the fraying on his left shoulder as well as the visible mend at the, I dunno, sleeve seam? His sleeve (maybe his arm too?) was ripped off at some point and he had to stitch it back on- and we know he mended shit himself because 1) the costume designer told us and 2) sewing supplies box. (thanks eternally to @dreamcast0 for pointing out it was a sewing box and not a weird printer as I had thought!)

The back of his suit is gross, man. Like, permanently sweat stained. Surprisingly no mending that I could see- guess any attacks that damaged his suit came from the front (psspsspss whump writers)

As has been previously pointed out, I think, Renfield unbuttons his vest when hunting. Makes sense, I suppose, gives a little more freedom of movement. Also check out that stain on the left side of his chest. Hmm. Stabbed in the heart? I never got a clearer shot so I can’t confirm if that’s from an injury and he just didn’t treat the stain in time and it set in, or his fountain pen leaked (psspss)

TFW Apache Joe is not, in fact, all out of knives. Again, left sleeve, and the lapel thingies of his suit are fraying.

As Renfield was panicking about his intestines trying to become OUTtestines (I’m very funny), I realised how... badly his suit fits now. Like, it all just kinda hangs on him instead of being worn by him, you know? Poor guy was slender already, and a century of working for Dracula made him gaunt.

[firelordgrantham]

ways Bram Stoker made his characters relatable:

have his mad scientist be sleep deprived and drugging himself on something he's supposed to give his patients.

cowboy shooty shooty boom (also "yeah last time I saw such blood loss my horse just got eaten by a vampire")

Bland Guy who is in fact in an epic love story no one really cared about before Dracula Daily format.

masking girl

english boi finds paprika spicy / becoming later english boi with trauma and ptsd and going against all toxic masculinity standards

this nice, caring woman who is also the boss in her couple

Dr Abraham "Sorry-just-need-to-be-weird-ok-now-i'm-normal-let's-mutilate-your-dead-love's-body" van Helsing.

Dogula

Bersiker

All of those fit either a category of beloved tumblr characters (the wet cat, the sleep deprived student, the headcanoned-as-autistic canon character, etc) or what tumblr wants to see more (cowboys in victorian gothic novels, appropriate treatment of mental illness...).

also, dog.

tag yourself

[see-arcane]

So, What the Hell is Jonathan Harker?

I’m asking honestly. Because by the end of Dracula the answer sure isn’t, ‘human.’ Nor do I think he’s a vampire. But he is something.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE END OF DRACULA, LOOK AWAY, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

The whole ‘revenge makes you a monster!’ thing is only barely in play, if at all, when it comes to his part of the hunt for the Count. Van Helsing even admits he’s owed the chance at delivering the killing blow. Which he does, alongside Quincey. He gets to chop off Vlad’s head!

In one blow! With a Kukri knife! Not an axe! Not a saw blade! Just the little brother to a sword!

Which is after lifting an entire coffin, weighted by the Count and several pounds of earth, off the wagon! With his bare hands!

Which is after bulldozing through the Count’s guards, taking no damage, while Quincey Morris, the established Man’s Man and hunter/fighter takes the fatal wound!

Which is after days upon days of whetting his blade, all rictus grins and plotting, now unexplainably ‘ice-cold’ in manner and body!

Which is after having his hair turn solid white—a pallor that apparently matches his eyes, according to Seward—upon learning of Mina’s attack, deciding to join her in undeath if she cannot be cured, and proceeding to nearly fillet the Count like a fish with the Kukri!

Which is after finding sudden relief from realizing, good news, he’s not insane, but monsters from the pit of Hell are real and were, in fact, trying to exsanguinate and turn him into a bloodsucking demon for eternity! What a relief!

Which is l o o o n g after he scaled a castle wall and a vertical cliff face by his hands and bare feet, plus a nice stint of running through the Transylvanian wilderness of wolves and Brides to reach a train!

Which is all after he somehow landed the first and only lasting wound to Dracula, by way of the shovel blade scar to his forehead! A fact that is never once explained by anything in the book, despite the fact that unless that was a mystical Sacred Shovel, Jonathan managed to do the only permanent injury to Dracula without any holy assistance!

I know, I know, Mina chalks up chucking the coffin and the head-choppery as ‘a miracle.’ But our boy has showing distinctly Not Fucking Normal signs for far, far longer than the climax. 

What are they signs of? Do they ever stop to wonder after all the vampire hype is over? Because I don’t see all of these changes in physicality and mentality suddenly going poof once the Count’s gone.

By the book’s end, Jonathan Harker, not a vampire, but definitely Something Else, is just chilling as-is. Imagine going to his office for some lawyerly help, and you see this white-haired, thousand-yard staring gentleman with a bloodstained Kukri sheathed over his business attire, smiling apologetically as he gently sets down the wall-sized bookcase he was hoisting up to retrieve a lost pen, terribly sorry, give him just a moment and he’ll be right with you! :)

Like,

It is just never brought up by anybody but Seward throughout the book—not even Van Helsing mentions it! I assume it’s because they had so much going on already, but in the Epilogue phase it has to be raising so many questions that I think everyone has an unspoken agreement to just Not Point It Out Because It Is Not a Problem, It’s Fine, He’s Fine, The End

Seward, making attempt #214 to broach the topic: Professor, I’m not saying it’s…unhealthy, but Harker clearly went through some kind of metamorphosis during that time, and he’s yet to change back—

Van Helsing, halfway through his brandy: He had no ill reaction to the Cross or the Wafer. It is fine. God’s will and all that.

Seward, watching Jonathan smile a would-be mugger into submission before he can get in ten yards’ reach of Mina and Little Quincey, never blinking, while half the street’s pedestrians give the Harkers such a wide berth they’re running into the cab horses: …Sir—

Van Helsing, around his flask: It’s fine.

In short, does anybody have theories about what Mr. Harker’s whole deal is? Because our guy is neither human nor bloodsucker and Bramothy Stoker kind of just left the monster makeover implications hanging.

[underagoldenmoon]

COULD THE UNDER A GOLDEN MOON PROTAGONISTS SURVIVE CASTLE DRACULA? 

(inspired by Tumblr user @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula)

HAZEL: 

So first things first, we need to de-ghostify Hazel, because ghosts Do Not Have Blood. And blood is. Kind of Dracula's thing. Plus she can't die as a ghost except under certain circumstances :)

So yeah that's Happening. 

So Hazel would probably accept the crucifix, but that doesn't matter so much; she doesn't carry a mirror so she wouldn't die shaving. 

She knows that ghosts exist (she is one. Well, was for the purposes of this. No I'm not explaining how she comes back to life, this isn't canon.) I'm not sure that she'd know what vampires are, but from the start she's seeing clues that Dracula is Not A Normal Human Being. 

She had to become a people-pleaser while she was alive to keep herself safe. So she's mainly fine on the Not Annoying A Rich Jerk front. 

I'm assuming that the characters aren't aware of who Dracula is beforehand, and similar to Jonathan Harker they initially assume he's just a normal guy. So she has no reason to bring a weapon. She doesn't own one anyway (Starry is the only one who does. Unless you include Golden's whittling knife). 

The second she's told not to explore, she gets suspicious. She assumes that Dracula has a Dark Secret. At this point she starts trying to imply about how she used to be a ghost because she doesn't realise it's an Evil Dark Secret she thinks it's a Cool Dark Secret (not a Sexy Dark Secret because she is a lesbian). But as time goes on, she realises that Dracula is not to be trusted. 

She's had to learn to be stealthy; there are cats who hunt ghosts. So she won't necessarily get caught. 

She's choosing the castle over the wolves if it comes to that. All of them are, really. They're teenagers they're too young to die /hj

If she happens to be Romantically Staring Out of the Window™ while Dracula is climbing, she does get curious. "Curiosity killed the cat" type situation - but actually, this convinces her that Dracula really is dangerous. 

She might try to mislead him with a few lies about England once she realises this; she's been trustworthy up to this point, since she knows her way around well, but Dracula might be able to tell. In which case she's dead. 

But if she doesn't try to be too clever and doesn't get too obvious in her attempts to drop hints that she's a ghost, Hazel would survive Castle Dracula. 

GOLDEN: 

Golden, too, would take the crucifix. Ze reads a lot of fantasy stories. Never ignore the strange old woman's warnings. 

Let's be honest – ze is not going to put up with being forced to stay up all night. Ze needs a regular sleep schedule, and ze would rather die than have hir circadian rhythm messed around with. 

Also, hir instincts are pretty good – ze's going to work out that there is something going on. 

Unfortunately, this does not help hir. 

Ze is not going to put up with any jerk for long, let alone a rich one. 

And ze's wanted to try lock-picking for a while… and all these locked doors are so tempting…

You'd think that the fact that ze reads a lot would save hir. But no. Ze's clever, but ze has no common sense. Negative amounts, really. If ze's lucky and works out Dracula's a vampire, even that won't save hir. 

Because ze died picking that lock to try to get into the room. 

Sorry. 

Golden would not survive Castle Dracula. 

MOON: 

Honestly, I think Moon is the protagonist who would last the longest if they were all to die at any point. Golden dies after being caught lock-picking, Hazel (if she dies) is too clever for her own good, and Starry… well, you'll see. 

Moon would accept the crucifix out of awkwardness if nothing else. Because how do you turn it down without making it a thing? That doesn't really matter – he's not going to shave anyway, he's a cat. But still. 

He trusts Dracula at first – why wouldn't he? 

He works out, as time goes on, that there's something dodgy about Dracula, and since he's been raised to distrust ghosts and gods, he's going to Panic. Like when Jonathan was just. Running around the castle. He would do exactly that. 

He would avoid doing anything to anger Dracula once he realised there was something weird – he's used to the idea of supernatural creatures that can destroy you if you look at them the wrong way, though he hasn't met one. Yet :)

He would probably try to help Dracula – the idea of tricking him would occur, but he'd decide against it. He knows some supernatural creatures can tell if you're lying. He's not going to risk it. 

He spends a lot of time staring out of the windows, so he sees Dracula climbing the walls. At this point he is certain that there's something going on. 

But don't worry – he has a plan. 

A terrible one. 

He tries to climb out of the Castle. And he nearly makes it. 

He's bested Dracula, he's escaping, he's –

Fallen off a cliff to his death. Sorry. 

Moon could not survive.

STARRY: 

I think that Starry was the hardest to get an idea on. She's the newest protagonist, so she's not been floating around in my brain for… two to three years, I think? I think I started version one in 2021. Certainly during Covid lockdown.

Good grief. 

Anyway, Starry takes the crucifix because she knows by now that if there are rumours about strange things, it's better to be safe than sorry. She decides pretty early on that he's a ghost, which makes her distrust him. She doesn't like ghosts. 

She does everything perfectly most of the time she's there. She's learned to act; she's had to. 

She does nearly break when Dracula takes her stuff. After all, how will she live without her knife? 

But she manages to control herself. 

She's doing well; Dracula doesn't suspect. She makes sure to follow his rules whenever there's the slightest shadow of a chance that she could be discovered. But she quietly rebels, too. 

Then she decides she's had enough and tries to fistfight him. 

Life hack: do not fistfight a vampire. It will not end well. 

Starry would not survive.

And I can't work out how to draw this so. Uh. Sorry about that.

[pinkacademic]

Actually Studying Literature

The bit we’d all rather avoid… or maybe that’s a me thing. But here’re the methods I suggest for actually learning about literature! As you guys know, you need to break things down in the way that works best for you, study in whatever way makes the information stay in your own brain. Here’s just a few ways that you can improve your understanding of literature specifically.

Using Other Forms of Media to Learn the Story. Audiobooks are your friend, podcasts are your friend, and any film or TV adaptation can be useful if you’re struggling with the book, but make sure to check reviews and make sure the majority agree that it is faitful, and/or learn any flaws that there are or changes.

Discuss. Oh, my GOD, discuss. A freind of mine could not figure out a particular detail of Dracula, not from reading it, not from the lecturer, not until I explained “mate, you know it’s Mina’s notes, right?” And then they loved it. I’m not going to explain in detail, but the point is, ask more than just your teacher/tutor/whatever if you have any questions.

Practise Tests. But not in the way you think. Yes, you should do normal practise essays and practise exams, but I also reccomend doing a chaotic version that helps you just get your main points into your brain, then it’ll be easier to do the practise tests.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Is Jonathan Harker a Sexist by pinkacademic

Intro: fuckin. this bitch does not drink respect women juice. man fuckin… my wife in the kitchen, my wife is weak, all day, every day, then he sexualises dracula’s girlfriends in the middle too?? bitch?

point one: fuckin… idk, this man thinks women can only do care stuff eg women in the kitchen, the nuns who look after him, mina caring for him

context interlude: the victorians hated women!

point two: women are for sexy- the brides- but also sexy is bad and for whores and my wife is good bc she’s not a whore

counter point: jonny does in fact love mina a whole lot and trusts her!

point three: look at mina being so susceptable to dracula, jonny thinks she’s so weak, ugh women are so weak.

context interlude: gothic novels think women can’t walk without fainting!

conclusion: therefore jonathan harker hates women, actually

This is stupid, but I know what all my basic points are! And I can learn this along with my actual facts and figures, instead of trying to store an entire essay in my brain! Now, of course, you will need to learn the facts and figures, such as key dates and what have you, BUT, the combination of the basic structure plus a handful of facts will give you a basis to work from without trying to store everything.

Ok, let me know if you want anything else! It occurs to me that I don’t have literary methods anywhere- so bonus post on literature on its way!