#and I also see logan as an owl

[quackkaz]

Patton : Pspspsps!!

Logan, walking over to him : Are you trying to call a cat?

Patton : Holy smokes, it worked.

[fourtyforever]

Get in losers were making a fic rec masterlist

Hi y’all it’s me, your local multishipper, and I’m about to be the change I wish to see in the world by putting all the best f1 fics in one place.

Maxiel

cool things to say to your soulmate by @powerful-owl (E, 14k)

A collection of shorter soulmate stories by the great em powerfulowl. Essentially the maxiel thesis as far as I’m concerned. If you ever catch me talking about the goose fic, this is what I’m talking about. Fun story: this was actually the first F1 rpf I ever read and I blame it for why my standards are so fantastically high.

Thursday girl by @boxboxlewis (M, 3k)

Max is outed by the press. Shocking emotional impact to word ratio and off the charts tenderness. Short and sweet and low key a comfort read to me.

the being unknown by anonymous (E, 12k)

Body swap with really unique and emotional vibes. Ngl this one hurt me (in the best way). A fantastic and heart-wrenching take on the horrors of 2022.

Charlos

win or lose (it’s how you play the game) by @f1-stuff (E, 18k)

Hickey bet between charles and carlos. Cannot get over this fic for as long as I live: the silliness is off the charts, the vibes are literally the most perfectly balanced tenderhorny I’ve ever read and the writing is just really that good. I think about this fic minimum once a day.

last night by venerat (E, 24k)

College au. Ngl this one is just especially spicy, but also very very funny and fully captivating top to bottom (see what I did there? haha). Also a great ensemble cast here, which I always love.

Once more (before we die) by @f1-stuff (M, 6k)

Fantasy AU where charlos are princes of warring kingdoms. I love this AU and I love the tenderness between Charles and Carlos that we get out of it. I’m usually not really an AU type of gal but this one really did change my mind.

Playing games by @vegasgrandprix (T, 4K)

Gay chicken. WIP, but I can already tell so clearly exactly where this is going and that is delightful to me. Honestly this really is how they act like 90% of the time already.

Yukierre

match made in heaven by venerat (T, 4K)

Pierre is yuki’s matchmaker. this one is just so sweet and sooooo silly. Comfort read 100%

Loscar

Are they gay or European? (the answer is both) by periwinkle_bumper_cars (T, 30k)

Logan keeps walking in on other drivers in compromising positions. 100% balls to the wall silliness from beginning to end and just completely delightful the whole time. Background carlando, kmag/hulkenberg, brocedes, maxiel, and honestly the ensemble cast is what takes this one from great to top tier.

Landoscar

By a thread by @mctwinkdom (E, 32k)

The classic Australian thongs misunderstanding (gone sexual). Incredibly silly, amazingly hot and honestly a top-tier character study of both Oscar and Lando. A great study in unreliable narration as well (probably part of what accounts for my previous point).

carried away by orphan account (E, 22k)

Fake dating. Honestly this one got me in my feels so much more than I expected from the premise. Sweet and a little bit angsty and just a delightful read all the way down.

Strollonso

green light, red wine (and I don’t feel fine) by @vicsy (E, 19k)

Mafia AU where lance is the son of Fernando’s arch nemesis. THEE strollonso fic of all time I tell you. Unparalleled characterization on the part of both nando and lance, fantastic ensemble cast, FANTASTIC writing, and off the charts unreal spiciness. If you haven’t read this yet then what are you doing

El dick plan by @waddlingpenguin (E, 800)

Lance says ‘daddy,’ both Fernando and Lawrence answer. Short, sweet and SILLY.

camera roll by @penaltyboxboxbox (E, 5k)

Sexting/sex tapes. Overall nice and spicy and just fantastic characterization. Also absolutely crucial is the companion art also by dave penaltyboxboxbox which is literally like the ice cream on top of the cake for such a wonderful fic

silver platter by @wewentcarracing (E, 10k)

getting together fic featuring long suffering estie bestie. Honestly the fic is amazing and spicy and just so well written but Esteban’s ever growing dismay is lowkey my favorite part. Works as a pretty great lance character study as well.

Brocedes

Roseberg’s vs haminkton by @jean----ralphio (E, 16k)

Tattoo artist versus flower shop, except they’re rivals. This is like…just how they are honestly. Absolutely stunning ensemble cast and absolutely hilarious buildup to lewis and Nico finally getting together. Side order of seb just being a massive shit stirrer which honestly I think is the role he belongs in

The real reason nico rosberg retired by periwinkle_bumper_cars (G, 3k)

Secret Santa (gone horribly wrong). This is…..also just how they are unfortunately. The rancidest of vibes but also screeching-out-loud funny.

will be updating this on the reg so stay tuned for more good fics. also maybe if I am very lucky someday I will have my own fics to add to the list. definitely I need to become slightly more insane before I can start writing for this fandom but believe you me I’m well on my way.

[rockyteriyaki]

TEAM BUILDING ACTIVITIES 👯

s/o to @powerful-owl for starting this meme and @disarmd for the insanely funny contribution, it’s such a delightful thought exercise! here’s my attempt:

MASCOTS!

american sports have hella mascots, so every team is tasked to create a marketable mascot that could represent them for u.s fans. they also have to build a little model to pitch the concept. there’s the williams whale sharks. the aston martin martinis. lando and oscar devise a walking papaya named penny who looks so much like a vulva oscar backs out almost instantly.

GUESS THE GRID based on clothing choices: drivers assemble an outfit they’d wear and then everyone else tries to guess who picked what. the catch is that the f1a girls did the same challenge and their answers are mixed in as well. everybody thinks doriane’s mercedes-themed picks are george’s and maya gets confused for charles even though there’s no ferrari branding to be seen. chloe’s picked a haas cap with a black skirt and we watch nico hulkenberg go through every emotion known to man trying to figure out why kevin would—???

(meanwhile the academy grid is absolutely ripping everybody’s style choices to shreds, accusing hamda of being the most basic bitch on the planet bc max chose to wear basketball shorts, etc)

PADDOCK SCAVENGER HUNT

5 teams are in on it and the other 5 can’t know what’s going on, otherwise they lose points. charles pretends that he’s too tired to walk when pierre catches him searching the top of a cabinet on carlos’ shoulders. oscar distracts williams while lando tries to get a picture of logan with red, white and blue objects in the background. yuki gets stranded on top of the rbr motorhome because daniel won’t stop using him for reconnaissance and the whole thing gets called off because max sees them squabbling on the roof and thinks the rapture has arrived.

GEORGE AND ALEX MAKE GRAPHICS

ib george’s natural talent for graphic design. the audience gets to see what a communications team actually does in motorsport (educational!) and george and alex get free reign of the entire library of press photos of eachother. george is hunting for a terrible picture of alex to edit onto a podium but ends up having a very verbal crisis about how none of the pap shots are appropriately bad and then spends the next half an hour digging himself into theeee deepest hole talking about how it’s just not as FUNNY if alex looks TOO GOOD on the podium! it would be UNFAIR! alex is squirming and trying to remember where tf he was planning on going with this zoomed-in great-gatsby-esque picture of george’s eyelids on his screen right now. george silently edits alex’s teeth out of his mouth and tries to erase the fact that he just called alex handsome like 47 times.

MARIO KART SIM RACING

im talking full immersion. sherbet land is ice fucking cold. every time they drive over some kind of giant clock or railroad or something the sim porpoises like a jackhammer. someone is standing behind them with a full tank of water for the splash sections. there’s a legitimate epilepsy warning at the start of the video. bowser puts the fear of god into lando norris.

MAX AND DANIEL DO TEMPORARY TATTOOS

i’m hesitant to allow them access to a bowl of water but i have an extremely clear vision of daniel slapping tats all over the blank spaces on his skin to the point where they overlap and he’s just got shiny plasticky tattoo skin everywhere. max would find this unappealing and also stupid until he realizes all the fake tattoos on his side of the table are replicas of daniel’s actual ones. cut to: daniel with a snake tattoo stuck in his eyebrow hairs hiking his shorts up so max can mirror the placement on his own inner thigh. daniel resembling a concussed post malone, watching max’s careful application of the ‘3’ tattoo. max does a horrible aussie accent and daniel looks like a chimpanzee seeing its own reflection for the first time. cinema.

[high-five0]

•FIC MASTERLIST•

So this is basically every fic I’ve reblogged so I can access them and see them organized! (Also kind of a fic recommendation post) If there’s any recommendations of what I should read please let me know!

Most of these fics will be platonic!

-Formula One-

•Platonic Grid•

“Martins Grid walk” -taking over the grid walk is not for the faint of heart

“Slow Down, Red Flag” -what the reader does when the racing comes to a stop

“Pure Chaos 2, 3” - amazing multi part smau

“Caffeine of Choice” -a few drivers don’t get your choice of energy

“Golden (Son)” -Prema driver with OP81 as a grid dad

“Early Risers V. Night Owls” -some just don’t understand the morning grumpies

“Line Up” -Pole position equals pissy fans

“Dear Spa” -the Belgium track takes another (read for a good cry)

“Reality” -the cameras not capture everything

“Grill the Kid” “Grill the Grid” -two fics based on the quiz show

“Annoying little brothers” -self explanatory

“Grid Kids”

“Monopoly”

•MV1💙•

“Block Out the Haters” -Max defends his teammate

•CL16❤️•

“Don’t get Squeezed” -Charles little sisters position at the Chinese GP has her worried

•CS55❤️•

“Human Shield”-podium celebrations can get messy very quickly

“You don’t like spicy food?”-trying to play mermaids with chili

•DR3🩶•

“Be your Wingman” -a little crush on a sky sport reporter has someone being a tease

•SV5💚•

“Films of Anger” -Racing incident has too childhood friends explode at eachother (very brocedes core)

“Learning how to Drive” -she can driver at over 200 mph but not on a normal road

•KR7❤️•

“Very Sleepy One Bed” -long races and sharing hotel rooms

“Future world Champ” -a talk with Kimi and Seb about the new driver

“Giddy Goodbyes” -ending the season can be sad but a helmet swap can make it a little better

•LS2🩵•

“Team USA”-Logan supports his girl competing as an Olympic surfer SMAU

“Rookie Reflections” -Logan befriends the new rookie (first f1 fic I’ve ever read)

•OP81🧡•

“Rewatching love” -a group of old Prema drivers watch their old f2 videos

•LH44🖤•

“Driver Headcannons”

•PA17🤍•

“Crash Into Me” -enemies to lovers with the one bed trope what’s not to love?

-Women’s Basketball-

•PB5•

“Courtside”- “what are you doing here? I thought you had to study”

“Teammate Headcannons”

“Sleepyhead”

•KA2•

“Dating Headcannons”

•KM20•

“While we’re young” -the aces play the liberty and 2 lovers are joined together

“I wanna listen to the sound of you breathing” -just 5 more minutes

-FC Barcelona-

•Braça Femeni•

“Head in the Clouds”

“Scrubber” -la Roja debute”

“First” -Scoring your first club goal

“Priorities” -being late to practice opens up a new can of worms

“Numb” -nobody likes a rough game

•ML4•

“Protection” -injury on the field

•JF11•

“Joao with a formula 1 driver”

-Call of Duty-

•Task Force 141•

“Ain’t that a kick in the head” -just some Headcannons of new recruit

“One hell of a first mission” -your first mission goes sideways

“Migraines”

•Ghost•

“Right Behind you” -Ghost wants to keep his distance but can’t (first cod fic I’ve ever read)

“Headcannons”

“A Bedtime Story” -it’s not your fault ghost has a soothing voice

“Like Riding a Bike” -ghost finds out you never learned to ride a bike

“Picture Perfect” -snoring on the plane home

“Rodan”

-Top Gun-

•Dagger Squad•

“Friendship Bracelets”-making brackets for your squad

“Rookie” - not everyone a fan of the new recruit

•Rooster•

“Personal Space” -you like your personal space, a certain aviator likes it too

•Iceman•

“Blood in the Water” -a crash scares everyone

-MCU-

•Deadpool and Wolverine•

“Two pease in a pod”

“Troublemaker” -Wolverine seems to be there for you more times than anyone else

“The Spiderling”

“Oscar Worthy Performance”- the cops cannot be called, so you find one man to vouch for you

•Moonkight•

“Recruitment gone right?” -the avengers sent you to recruit a mercenary

•Daredevil•

“They’re Gonna Taste my Venom”- Venom and his host stumble upon a lawyer

•Spider-Man(s)”

“Art with Hands”- Hobie is the best sign language teacher

-Star Wars-

•The Clone Wars•

•Fives•

“Smugglers” -stealing treats from another commander

“Food Fight”

•104th Battalion•

“Cuddling the 104”

“Mama Wolffe” -Wolffe was grump and unnerving… to most

•Delta Squad•

“Headcannons”

•The Mandolorian•

“Come and Get Me” -Din will always come back for you

-The Last of Us-

“So Far From It”-you get into some trouble but know exactly who to call

“Carved Over the Door” - Joel finally figures out your secret

“The Tunnel” -not a very good get away driver

-Na’vi-

“Angry Spirit” -doing anything for your siblings

•Neteyaem•

“Golden Child” -A battle for the paise of your parents

“And your Brother is Here”

-Random-

•Arcane•

“Stumbled Upon” -Silco stumbled upon one of Vanders Kids

•The Hunger Games•

“Swear” - Finnick helps the new victor

[gunnrblze]

Good to know you're fine with birds! B‘:D

I wanted to draw harpy Ghosts but first I need hcs of what bird they fit and the only fitting ones I know is Hesh as an owl and Keegan as a raven/crow

What do ya think about the others?

This is sooo fun to think about, loving the animal anon asks today lmao

Hesh- I could def see him as an owl too, one of those white ones with brown detailing lol. They’re intelligent and oftentimes represent independence too which is very up his alley. But also on the flip side of that, the loneliness/abandonment/bad luck that comes with their symbolism (poor baby)

Logan- Falcon, they’re birds of prey that have good hunting skills, and are very fast and intelligent. Logan gives me that quick witted smart vibe that they have. He also just gives me penguin vibes? LMAO in a more playful way which I like to think he also possesses

Elias- Hawk. They’re associated with strength/freedom/power which is fitting, but also gracefulness, which in an unexplainable way feels right for him? Also birds of prey, and very keen. They’re essentially larger versions of falcons, which gives me the father/son vibe with Logan being a falcon lol

Merrick- He very much gives me blue jay energy, that immediately came to mind for some reason. They’re also known for representing confidence/intelligence/communication and I think that’s fitting. I could just see him being a little blue jay lol

Keegan- Also see this guy as a raven/crow, definitely fits his dark/brooding energy lmao. Very mysterious and often associated with morbidity/macabre type shit, but also intelligence and wisdom

Kick- Getting toucan vibes from him tbh. A little playful/funky energy which I like to think he has. Veryyy intelligent/clever and they also have a great deal of dexterity which Kick seems to possess in the little amount of gameplay he’s in (wahhh, give us more of him)

Rorke- This is fucking hilarious to me but he’d be a bald eagle LMAO BECAUSE yes he’s bald and has that aggressive rah rah American energy (at least pre-fed that is), and they symbolize that freedom/strength/authority too which is quite fitting

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Tylo save me...Tylo...save me Tylo...

WHATEVEER leave me alone more ship alphabet garbage 😭😭😭 I'm gonna sleep I got work tomorrow 🫠🫠🫠

Logan Fields

A = Affectionate

A bit reserved. He's never had anybody to be affectionate with besides his grandparents so he doesn't really know where to draw the line. Also, you know. Hes gay in Georgia in 2016, he needs to be careful. A lot more comfortable with verbal affection tho!

B = Best Friend

Logans never had friends so like. If he did have a best friend he would be really loyal to like a concerning degree, probably protective too, but also extremely helpful and encouraging, always trying to teach you new things :D

C = Cuddles

A littleeeee touch starved :< So he does like cuddling with Tyler, especially since they don't get the chance to do it a lot (only at Tyler's house). He's super melty because he has to take off his glasses for it and he gets sleepy quickly. Will probably fall asleep during it...^_^

D = Domestic

He's a little romantic in the sense that he wants to get married and settle down, have a kid, and 3 cats. He's not in a rush or anything but it is something he looks forward to with Ty. He's good at household chores, especially cleaning and taking care of the garden, and he's a pretty good cook. His specialty is still baking tho.

E = Ending

If his relationship with Tyler spiralled (which has a decent chance of happening) :> If the resentment he had with Tyler boiled over and all the bitterness came out, yeah, he'd probably end things, probably in a yelling match. It's hard to see them breaking up amicably ahaha :")

F = Fiancé

He spent a lot of his childhood/early teens thinking he'd never be able to get married, so...it's a big deal for him. Cried when Tyler said yes (and while proposing)

G = Gentle

Generally he's pretty soft spoken. He's not a super physically aggressive person...but he has his moments 🫠 But usually he's pretty light with Tyler, specially since he has like...chronic pain...🤡 Also good at saying super mushy stuff that makes Tyler implode

H = Hugs

A bit awkward about it, but he likes hugging. Always a little hesitant, so waits till Tyler hugs him first, but he's a v good hugger :) very cozy aura. He's a short king so he can snuggle into Ty's chest.

I = I love you

Was so nervous he almost threw up- Got really emotional and cried- he didn't plan it so the whole thing was a mess lmao

J = Jealousy

Tends to manifest as insecurity more than sheer jealousy. Sometimes thinks Tyler will leave him for somebody "better" (him and Tyler are actually pretty similar in that regard) and he might honestly just bring up how he thinks Tyler can do better depending how far they are in the relationship.

K = Kisses

A bit shy. Gets flustered by proper kissing so he's more of a pecker, usually kisses Tyler's cheek or chin because it's hard to reach him with their height gap- he gets all gooey when Tyler asks him to kiss him on the mouth tho (^_^)//

L = Little Ones

He likes children! He finds them more honest than people his age kkkkk. He also likes how children are constantly learning new things and likes teaching them about interesting facts :D gets a bit overwhelmed by hyperactive children though, better with children who have quieter characters like himself.

M = Mornings

Eepy lil guy. So seepy. Big tirremd. Barely coherent in the morning, also he's not wearing his glasses or contacts so he can't even see help him. He needs a shower and like four cups of coffee to even wake up lmao. Tyler be literally dragging him out of bed because otherwise they're GONNA BE LATE-

N = Night

Total night owl, loves staying up late (especially in the summer) to use his telescope. Tyler has to drag him INTO bed otherwise he's gonna stay up till 4am or fall asleep on the balcony :>

O = Open

Honestly pretty closed off, he doesn't like talking about his past unless it's really necessary. Gets anxious if Tyler asks personal questions early in the relationship.

P = Patience

Patience is a virtue he's worked hard to cultivate. He does kind of bottle of his negative emotions so when he *does* lose his patience it tends to be explosive.

Q = Quizzes

Good memory and very detail-oriented, so he knows a lot about Tyler, and he's also good at applying that knowledge. He's better at reading him than most people.

R = Remember

His favourite moments are whenever Tyler is just unapologetically sweet and sappy with him. Makes him forget how mean he used to be :>

S = Security

Way more chill than Tyler, he trusts him to take care of himself, but sometimes he thinks about Tyler stuck on the tree...bleeding out...his organs torn to shreds... and he worries about him 🫠

T = Try

Of course he tries. He's trying so hard. To be brave. To love him unconditionally. To forgive him. He just needs time...hopefully.

U = Ugly Habit

Kind of a grudge holder and he's one of those people who will be kinda salty after you apologize for smth even tho he accepted the apology. Passive aggressive ngl. Tyler is always "..." whenever Logan is annoyed with him even tho he prolly deserves it 🤡

V = Vanity

He doesn't *not* care about his appearance but he doesn't care a loooot. Was raised to be well-groomed so he is very clean and proper but fashion-wise he's kinda...y'all know 😔 (he can look like a nerd and still be fashionable BUT he isn't just look at him 😭)

W = Whole

They got that trauma bond so no, not really, he wouldn't feel "whole" without Tyler. But I think he would be able to move on at some point.

X = Xtra

Very serious about learning Spanish! Tyler's kinda "...bro I don't even know it that well" about it but Logan wants to make an effort. He's really smart including in languages so eventually he starts speaking more proper Spanish than Tyler (but with a horrible accent) which Ty's just dead over. He can have a full on convo with Marianna and everything.

Y = Yuck

HATEEEES how protective Tyler is. Like he understands where he's coming from but OMFG he feels SO infantilized by it sometimes. And also Tyler is constantly trying to help him and Logan just feels like Ty doesn't trust him to do things by himself. He hates people who let their anger control them too, if Tyler is mad he will just walk away from the argument and hang out in his room.

Z = ZZZ

Looks like an absolute angel while sleeping, it's ridiculous. He just looks so goddamn peaceful and serene, Tyler is just "?!!?!?" and wants to combust 🫠

Tyler Hernández

A = Affection

His way of showing affection is like. Annoying. He's that kind of guy who shows his care by teasing the crap out of you 🤡👌🏽 Logan was kinda intimidated at first but now he's like. So over him because he knows his bf is dumb. He understands the chalequeo.

B = Best Friend

He your RIDE OR DIE FR. Omg...THAT WASNT ON PURPOSE, I just meant that he's really loyal even though he's kind of a "tough love" kind of guy 😭 would tell you if your bf sucked ngl

C = Cuddles

Secretly wants to hug Logan all the time. Logan is very soft and he just kinda...melts when they cuddle. Like its a guaranteed way to relax him, and lord knows he needs to relax.

D = Domestic

King of household chores. Compulsive cleaner. Cooks AND does the laundry. He cannot sit still for five seconds help him 🤡 It would take him a LONG time to be comfy not living with his mom or sister (I think Taylor would move out first) so there might be like. A small period where he and Logan live with Marianna.

E = Ending

He's kinda...reluctant to ever break up with anybody, especially Logan. If he did it'd be like, more on accident after losing his temper, like Logan saying maybe he should leave and Tyler saying he will or whatever. He'd regret it ofc 🤡

F = Fiancé

Oh, he was really surprised when Logan asked him. And happy :). He had gen never thought about it cuz he was so stressed lmao but he was real excited and also lowkey terrified 🫠

G = Gentle

Verbally he's pretty harsh, that's just how he is. But physically, besides the occasional arm/shoulder tug, he's very careful with his loved ones <3 sometimes when he's sad he holds Logans cheeks or rests his head on his lap.

H = Hugs

Ohhhh he loves hugging. If he could, he'd be hugging Logan constantly 😭 his hugs are REALLY long and he kinda does that like. Swaying motion. Also lifts Logan off his feet. Literally shoves his face into his shoulder.

I = I love you

He needs to be really sure of his feelings to say it, and even then he usually says it very quietly or when he thinks Logan won't notice. For some reason has an easier time saying it in Spanish (he just like me fr)

J = Jealousy

Yeaaaaahhhh...worse than Logan. Hate watches people who be getting touchy with Logan :) you know he would get salty/sassy about it he's just Like That TM. And Logan is not putting up with that haha.

K = Kisses

Awkward and makes it way more tense than it needs to be smh. If he's kissing him on the mouth he gets really nervous and squeezes his eyes shut and just HOVERS there waiting for Logan to close the gap 💀 Kisses the top of his head a lot so Logan can't see him blushing cuz he's a loser.

L = Little Ones

Like a beleaguered babysitter. He finds kids annoying and he can be a little Itty bitty bit mean to them sometimes but he's like that annoying older cousin you had that you liked to play with because they were Real with you. Hair ruffler.

M = Mornings

Wakes up right with his alarm and gets straight to work. He goes jogging and does stretches, then comes back home to make breakfast. Logan sleeps through it all help

N = Nights

He goes to bed at like 9pm because he's a dork lmao and he gets tired 🤡 That doesn't mean he'll fall asleep tho! He's super restless and will be tossing and turning and sometimes Logan will spoon him so he'll sit still and relax for a second-

O = Open

...No 💀 HELP NONE OF THESE KIDS ARE OPEN FFS- 😭 naaaah he doesn't feel like telling people his "sob story" or whatever and he doesn't really like talking about it 🫠 He mentions things offhandedly to Logan, who...understands and doesn't ask.

P = Patience

Whatever he loses his temper easy, big deal. Consistently annoyed at the world, and who can blame him? World kinda sucks 🤡 he's been working on not losing his cool so quickly because Logan just doesn't like being around angry people.

Q = Quizzes

He is a detail-oriented guy with a good memory, not to mention being well organized, so he has a space for "important Logan info" that he thinks might be useful at some point. Not at Aiden's level tho (fortunately 🤡)

R = Remember

When Logan confessed, because he was just so...I'm tryna think of the right word here omg. Like, in awe? That this guy he's been crushing on and was honestly not that nice to liked him BACK? And they were so earnest and genuine about it and he was just???? Help???

S = Security

Tyler is overprotective of Logan the same way he's overprotective with all the people he cares (a lot) about. He will put himself in front of him in dangerous situations, remove him from situations if *he* thinks they're dangerous...can get kinda annoying about it...

T = Try

Tyler puts 110% of himself in anything he cares about so yes, he is trying very hard in this relationship. He is very meticulous about helping Logan out whenever possible, planning outings/dates, controlling himself around him, etc etc. Trying to get Logan's forgiveness

U = Ugly

He is overprotective and sometimes doesn't let Logan handle things by himself when Logan totally could. The aforementioned anger issues are also a problem :/ Also can be kinda brash and won't...filter his thoughts before hand when he probably should.

V = Vanity

About as concerned as the average teenage boy is. That is to say, very little- (helpppp I know this isn't the case for everybody LOL). He literally still matches outfits with his sister I don't think he cares about his own style too much LMAO

W = Whole

Nahhhh all of them got that trauma bond for life and would feel incomplete with out each other. I think he'd take it a lot worse than Logan too.

X = Xtra

Sometimes they go to church together as deeply repressed Catholic boys with religious trauma. Tyler thinks he'll go to Hell whenever they kiss but he's gonna do it anyways 😔

Y = Yuck

He doesn't really like, how do I say this, like. "Vapid" people I guess (this is just how he views some people tho). Like for example before knowing him better he thought Aiden was a really shallow person. So he'd never date anybody who he thought had nothing going on under the surface. Needs the relationship to be serious, like, he doesn't want anything casual.

Z = ZZZ

He has bruxism and like, scratches his throat while sleeping (not with his hands like, the swallowing thingy you do) (cuz he just like me fr), and he is literally so loud it will wake Logan up at night even tho he's a deep sleeper 😭

[tokillamockingbird427]

Thinking about the boys as "harpies" (Because I have a spin on them outside the ye olde myths and such) and was struck by the image of Logan turning his head all the way around like an owl to fuck with the other Ghosts and just about lost my shit laughing.

"You talking shit over there?" *Cue horrified screaming*

Someone tries to snap Hesh's neck but they just kinda quickly turn his head for him and he honestly doesn't realize they were trying to kill him for a second because he's just so confused.

Logan is very good at running backwards and usually does it while also having his head backwards to chase and scare Keegan specifically because it's the one thing that freaks him out

They both do the head tilty thing and get into "competitions" to see who can rotate their head to the most dramatic degree (Elias doesn't interfere because he figures it's rather beneficial for them to exercise/stretch those muscles.)

[thefakehedgehogaroundhere]

Redoing my blog intro post

Hi, I'm Logan/Faker. I use any pronouns except she/her, though I prefer it/he. If you want the specific labels just ask me. I am of Irish and American heritage. Spam liking/reblogging is always okay, just don't repost my art without credit.

Fandoms: Sanders Sides, Sonic, Owl House, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, Steven Universe (only sort of though), Wings of Fire, Warriors, Billie Bust Up, Starkid

DNI: Terfs, MAPs, Dream/Wilbur stans (if you're a mcyt fan I don't mind you being here, as long as you don't support Dream or Wilbur) anti-furs, zoos, racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes

I'm a minor. I don't mind adults interacting with my page, but if you're going to be weird, please leave.

I'm currently in a relationship. Sarcastic flirting is fine, but don't take it super seriously. I also am known to prank people or tease them, so if I say or do something that hurts you in any way, please let me know. It's all sarcastic, but I don't want to cause any real problems.

I'm an atheist. I will respect all religions, but please do not push your religion onto me.

I'm a multishipper. While it's likely you'll see mainly Sonadow on this page, for example, you'll also see Sonally, Sonamy, Sonknux, etc. Don't be confused if you see something you didn't think I shipped.

OTHER BLOGS: This is my main, but it consists mostly of Sonic. My TSS blog is @muppetable, my WC/WOF sideblog is @coyotix, and my Sonic AUs are all on @faker-aus. Some of my other blogs include @coyotix-studios, @fakers-sonic-headcanons, and @fakers-au-shitposts.

FRIENDS: @aerie-stotle, @trailertrashtobias @jupitercl0uds, @chao-tea08 @nolongeronlyhereforthewhispangle, @sleepymushrxxm, @pacifistcowboy, @oddogoblino, @nico-the-overlord, @nodulemodule. I know there are several others, but I can't tag everyone and some of them don't know this blog exists.

TAGS I USE: faker.txt (textpost), faker.png (image post), faker's askbox (questions), faker and friends (threads or collabs w friends), motherfuckin ari (something ari said specifically)

SOCIALS:

Discord: thefakehedgehogaroundhere_17580

Youtube: Coyotix

Tiktok: idonthavethevocabulary (I only really use this for edits and shitposts, Im not active much)

Email: azaleaedits2008@gmail.com

[edupunkn00b]

Guardian ad Liber, Ch. 4: A Boy Worth Fighting For

Photo by Matt Tulos, CC 4.0. Edited by author. n.b. Liber can mean book or child.

Prev - A Boy Worth Fighting For - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

WC: 1827 - Rated: T for some swearing, child welfare discussions, failure to thrive - Written for @loceitweek, a continuation of last year's story. - After a very special story, Patton settles into bed and our three get the chance to talk.

After one more trip to the bathroom, Patton was finally brushed and scrubbed and clad in soft pajamas. Toddling back to the office-turned playroom, he clutched what was formerly Janus’ yellow scarf in one hand and gripped Logan’s hand in the other.

Emerging from the conference room as they approached, Janus bowed and gestured broadly toward the office, both invitation and prevention. He’d positioned himself to block the path to the conference room where Grace and her relief were in a deep discussion. It likely was unnecessary, though, as the transformation of Logan and Janus’ office had successfully captured the little boy’s full attention.

Soft music played from Remus’ phone in one corner of the room, one of Beethoven’s more subdued pieces. Remus had also made adjustments to the room’s ordinarily bright lighting. The overhead lamps were off and shades drawn down over the tall windows facing street lights. The room was far from completely dark, though. Muted light spilled out from underneath each of their desks and from under the small pull-out couch where Remus had apparently wedged their desk lamps.

He hadn’t opened the sofa bed and instead had constructed a nest for Patton on top of the plush cushioned seats, sheets tucked in and a fluffy blanket imprinted with SpiderMan swinging between buildings spread over the top. A small stuffed owl with big round eyeglasses and what might pass for a necktie sat next to the pillow.

Patton looked up and waited for Logan's nod, then ran to the bed and hugged the stuffie to his chest. His happy hum and the brilliant smile pulling up his cheeks brought a welcome warmth to Logan’s chest and he smiled at Remus. “Where did you find that?” he whispered. 

Turning to wave at Janus as he rejoined the discussion in the conference room, Remus grinned and bumped Logan’s shoulder. “Unadulterated luck. It was by the checkstands on clearance. Think it was supposed to be for graduation or some sh—thing,” he quickly censored. Head tilted, he watched Patton climb up onto the couch. “Can’t deny the resemblance,” he teased, looking at Logan and adjusting imaginary eyeglasses.

“I suppose not,” he chuckled, then crouched next to the sofa, smiling at the drowsy toddler. “You look quite tired, Patton. You should rest for the night. We will be right across the hall if you need anything.”

Patton frowned at him, one tiny hand darting out to grab his sleeve as he shook his head, curls bouncing.

Remus laughed good naturedly and squeezed Logan’s shoulder. “You didn’t actually think that was going to work, did you?” He had one more magic trick to pull from the red Target bab and, with a flourish, he pressed a large picture book into Logan’s hands.

The little boy’s eyes were immediately drawn to the colorful picture on the cover. The riot of clashing colors that somehow still fit each other, reminding Logan of the ‘tattoos’ Patton had left on his arms. He’d temporarily rolled down his sleeves before helping Patton brush his teeth, protecting the washable ‘art,' and even now they seemed to glow in the half-lit room.

“Try reading him that,” Remus murmured to Logan before bowing his head at Patton. “G’night, Bud. See ya in the morning.” 

Patton waved at Remus with the stuffed owl’s wing before turning back to Logan with wide eyes.

Chuckling, Logan nodded and settled himself on the floor with the book, back pressed to the side of the couch and holding it up so they could both see the words and pictures. “‘A House for Hermit Crab,’” he read aloud, setting aside his concern at the oversimplified personification of the little sea creature. Not every book meant for a young audience needed to be perfectly scientifically accurate, even one of his favorite book series when he was a child had included species inaccuracies in the differences between frogs and toads. 

He continued reading and was immediately impressed with the more scientific explanation on the inside cover. “‘Hermit Crabs live on the ocean floor. Their skin is hard, except for the abdomen,’” Logan patted his own belly, smiling when Patton copied him with a giggle. “‘Which is soft. To protect this soft spot, the hermit crab borrows a shell…’”

The little boy was transfixed, curled on his side and staring at the pictures as he listened to Logan’s slow, low reading voice. Nodding, Logan turned the page and paused, looking up to see Remus had been watching him read from the hallway. He winked and gave him one more wave before joining Janus and the social workers in the other room.

Logan swallowed, steadying his voice before he spoke the next words aloud. “‘“Time to move,” said Hermit Crab one day in January. “I’ve grown too big for this little shell.”’” He glanced at Patton, whose big eyes had grown even wider. With Janus’ scarf and the stuffed owl hugged to his chest, he tangled his fingers in Logan’s sleeve, keeping him close. Logan smiled and went on with the story. “‘He had felt safe and snug in his shell. But now it was too snug…’”

Together, they followed the little hermit crab through his journey of finding a new home, gathering together new friends to help keep safe and comfortable in his shell. As the story progressed and the hermit crab became more comfortable with his new home, Patton’s eyelids grew heavier, each blink a little slower than the last. Until finally, his eyes slipped shut when the hermit crab joyfully declared his new home was perfect.

When it became clear the little boy was asleep, Logan read ahead silently, the story's bittersweet ending about the impermanence of even good things tightening his throat as he quietly closed the book and set it on the end table next to the sofa.

“Gets ya right here, huh?” Remus whispered from the doorway, tapping his own sternum.

Clearing his throat, Logan nodded and tried to blink away the heat growing behind his eyes. “Indeed,” he whispered back and patted the floor next to him. Patton’s grip on his shirt had barely loosened and, if asked, he would explain he intended to wait until the child was more deeply asleep before attempting to extricate himself. 

If Logan were to be completely honest, though, he’d have to admit that wasn’t the only thing keeping him at Patton's side.

“A remarkable attention span for a toddler,” he said once Remus had sat beside him. “Not at all what I would expect from one so young.”

“It’s not,” Remus agreed. He took a deep breath and paused before speaking again. “Y’know… I don’t think he’s a toddler, Lo. He’s fully potty trained and he’s already gotten fillings on his second molars,” he explain, voice low. “Did you see when we brushed his teeth?” 

Logan frowned, recalling the silver at the back of his mouth. “I… Well, yes. Frankly I assumed it was the result of parental neglect. Poor hygiene.” He hugged his knees to his chest, the memory of his own hours in dentists’ chairs tinting his thoughts.

Nodding, Remus leaned to his side until their heads rested against each other’s. “Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up for a kid his age to already have cavities. But those back teeth don’t come in until they’re at least two. I’d…” Remus shrugged and looked up over the top of Logan’s head, watching Patton sleep. “You saw the way he holds a marker? And his speech? He’s closer to four, I think.”

“Four years old? He’s…” Logan swallowed against the lump in his throat. The pajama set Remus had purchased was sized for an 18-month old toddler. “But he’s so small.”

“He is.” They both looked up at Janus’ silhouette in the doorway and Logan beckoned him in. Janus slid down onto the floor next to him, casually letting their thighs touch. The closeness was a comfort and, sandwiched between the two of them, Logan leaned in. "Grace will be back in the morning and Norman figured we had things covered well enough here. They're both gone."

All three relaxed for a moment, absorbing a bit of stolen time where they didn't need to be careful. After a while, though, Janus sighed. “I’m afraid Re’s correct. About his age." He stroked his cheek when Logan turned to him, shock stealing his voice. "I found a scan of his birth certificate at the back of his initial removal paperwork. He was born in 200 8.” He sighed again, turning with him to look at the toddler-sized child curled up behind them. “Patton is three and half years old.”

“Of course,” Logan muttered under his breath. His usual pleasure at learning something new crackled and ached in his chest. “Failure to thrive?” He didn't really need to ask.

Janus nodded. 

Logan’s hands fell to his lap, an odd emptiness dragging down his arms. His stomach suddenly dropped, a cold block of lead at his next realization. “How long has this poor child been in foster care? A contested TPR takes years.”

Letting out a slow breath, Janus hung his head and covered Logan’s hand with his own. “He was first removed at three months when his mother entered rehab as part of a plea bargain.”

“Fuck,” Remus swore, adam’s apple bobbing.

With his other hand, Logan threaded their fingers together. “Indeed,” he said again, shaky. 

“He was in and out of kinship care for the next two years. Maternal grandparents.” Patton shifted in his sleep and Janus smiled when he noticed the little boy had hugged the yellow scarf close. “They declined to care for him further.”

“He’s their grandchild,” Logan frowned, struggling to keep his voice down.

Janus looked like he’d eaten something rancid. “And I quote, ‘Kelly’s made her bed, she needs to lie in it.’”

Logan scoffed and shook his head. “And where’s his father in all this?”

“Some putz out of state,” Janus sneered. “Demanded a paternity test until they told him he’d have to pay for it himself. Signed away any rights faster than the social worker for the first removal could hang up the phone.”

The hushed cry at the back of Logan’s mind grew louder and he drew each of their hands close to his chest. “I can't be Patton’s GAL,” he announced, a radical idea growing in strength even as he struggled to find the words to explain his desire. “No judge would allow a GAL to serve dual roles.”

Mouth slack, Janus narrowed his eyes. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

He nodded slowly and Janus turned to look at Patton.

Remus watched them both, eyebrows pinched in confusion. “Hey, hot nerds, fill me in,” he said, scooting closer, eyes bouncing between each of them. “What do you mean, ‘dual roles?’”

Logan took a deep breath and smiled shakily at each of them. “I mean… Legally I cannot be both his GAL… and his foster parent.”

~~~~ To see what got Logan so choked up at the end of the story he read to Patton, see this: https://edupunkn00b.tumblr.com/post/755214180312907777/a-house-for-hermit-crab

[part-time-zombie]

Night Owls

pairings: platonic intrulogical

summary: logan only really lets himself unwind when he's sure he won't get caught or interrupted. he should have known remus would catch him in the act, and he can only hope he'll keep a secret.

tags/warnings: crude language, i know what the summary sounds like but this is not a smut fic, I just don't know how else to word it

word count: 2267

a/n: this summary makes it sound worse than it is. logan just wants to chill out in his onesie without being laughed at, thats all.

Logan didn’t get very many chances to relax. There was always some crisis or argument or problem that needed to be solved, resolved, and fixed, and Logan was usually the only side with the means and the skill to get the necessary work done. It seemed like every day had something else that required his attention and energy, and he was in desperate need of a proper break.

He knew he’d never be able to actually take some time to himself during the day. Everyone else would be awake and coming up with another disaster during those daylight hours, and he’d inevitably have to put aside whatever he was doing to take care of it.

He had tried to simply remain in his room so he could have some time to himself, but he would usually just get summoned in the middle of whatever he was doing. Even on the off chance that he wasn’t, he still preferred to spend his free time in the living room, where he could have better access to his preferred snacks and shows on a far more comfortable couch.

Even if the day passed peacefully through some impossible miracle, there was no way Logan would be able to relax unscathed. If any of the other sides were to actually see him in such a state where he openly indulged in the few things that he still enjoyed, they’d never let him live it down. They had made that point clear enough already after he was caught wearing his unicorn onesie, mocked for dressing like Sherlock, and judged for his enthusiasm regarding his favorite jam. If it made him look anything other than serious, it would only be met with shame and criticism.

Fortunately, Logan knew a means of ensuring that he would be able to properly relax without anyone ever noticing. At least, it would significantly reduce the odds of him being found out or interrupted. None of the other sides stayed up particularly late with most of them in bed before 11:30, courtesy of Logan’s repeated insistence on a healthy sleep schedule. What better time to enjoy some peace and quiet than when no one else would be awake to bother him?

Logan didn’t make it a habit of course. Regularly staying up so late would only have a negative effect on his health, and frequent outings would only increase the chance of someone eventually walking in on him and catching him in the act. He made great efforts to minimize the regularity and duration of these nights, only taking time for himself once every other month at most, and only when the stress and frustration became too severe for him to manage otherwise.

Limited chances to enjoy his free time also meant he had to make the most of every opportunity he had to unwind, treating it as if it would be his last chance to do so. He would partake in every hobby, interest, or habit that brought him joy at once, sometimes testing combinations of coping mechanisms to find the ones which worked best. Logan even took inspiration from the other sides, testing their own de-stressing techniques on occasion. While he didn’t fully understand it himself, he did somewhat share an appreciation for Virgil's tendency to sit on non-chair surfaces. To Logan it felt like a chance to let himself be somewhat silly on occasion, which worked especially well when he was also wearing his onesie.

Roman and Patton's methods also held their own merit, though Logan did slightly alter the finer details to better serve him. He wasn’t comfortable with singing, much less on serenading himself in the mirror, but positive affirmations and motivational encouragement were definitely enjoyable, even if they were on some prerecorded podcast he was listening to instead of genuine praise. Comfort food had proved itself successful many times now, though Logan obviously favored crofters over the cookies Patton preferred on any given day.

Tonight Logan had decided to indulge in some of his favorite habits, even if only for a few hours. After ensuring that everyone else was asleep for the night, he crept downstairs and wasted no time in making himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged on the floor in his unicorn onesie and enjoying some crofters fresh from the jar with a glass of wine to chase it with. He wanted to watch some Doctor Who tonight as well but he felt the sound from the tv would be too risky no matter how low the volume was. Logan chose to work on a sudoku puzzle while he ate instead, resting in blissful silence as the apartment settled around him.

Only, that wasn’t just the sound of the apartment. There was a heavy and rhythmic noise from upstairs, slowly but steadily coming closer to him. It almost sounded like…

The footsteps started down the stairs before Logan had a chance to react. He ought to change back to his normal outfit and sit properly or at least come up with a good excuse, but he didn’t have the time to do either before the intruder came to a stop at the foot of the stairs.

Remus stared at Logan with a mix of surprise and amusement on his face. He was, rather fortunately, wearing a black tank-top and boxers, and was far less embarrassed at being caught in his sleepwear than Logan currently was about his own attire.

“I can explain…” Logan started, cringing at having been caught by Remus of all sides.

“Explain which part, exactly?” he teased, a sly grin on his face. “Do you wanna start with the onesie you said you don’t wear anymore, or you squatting crisscross applesauce like that while you’re hunched over a jar of jam in the middle of the night?”

Logan internally chided himself for being so reckless. He should have known that at the very least Remus was bound to wander the house at night if no one else. In hindsight, the fact that he didn’t run into this problem sooner is astounding.

Logan got up from where he was sitting, rather awkwardly given his position, and tried to think of some way to convince Remus to not tell any of the others about this. He knew this was a fools errand, though. There was nothing he could say or do to make the chaotic side keep any kind of secret, especially one so humiliating. Still, for the sake of his pride, he had to try.

“What’s the matter there, brainiac? Dead cat got your tongue?” Remus joked, leaning against the railing in a manner that effectively blocked Logan's way back upstairs.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” he urged, keeping his voice down to prevent the others from waking as well. “I doubt you’ll listen to me or really even care, but I am asking you nicely to just keep this information to yourself. I’d rather the others not find out about this, please.”

“Why does that matter?” he asked with a shrug. “So what if you’re actually a total fucking dork under that stupid tie. Do you really need the others to take you seriously that damn badly?”

“Yes,” Logan answered, almost forgetting to whisper in his desperation. “If I am not taken seriously, then I will not be respected. And if I am not respected, I will not be listened to.”

“Oh, who fucking cares about all of that? No one respects me at all and I still find my own ways to get my point across, don’t I?” Remus replied, arching an eyebrow in a knowing expression.

“That’s because you’re more showy about it, you’re loud about your needs in a way that I can’t be,” Logan explained, shoulders sagging in defeat. “I can only be heard through respect.”

Remus just stared back at him, an odd half smile on his face. It seemed like Remus didn’t hear him or was simply ignoring him like last time, which he half expected by now. It was clear that Remus didn’t care about him anyway. Logan wanted to just go back to his room and will this whole situation away but even if he would do something as cowardly as that he couldn’t, not with Remus barricading the stairs. He hoped that just this once, Remus could be reasoned with.

“What can I do to convince you to keep quiet about this?” he asked, already regretting this decision. Entering a bargain like this with Remus would only end poorly, but he had no other option.

Remus’ half smile twisted into a devilish grin, eyes lighting up with opportunistic enthusiasm. If Logan didn’t hate this situation before, he certainly did now.

“You’re really fucking stupid enough to bargain with me over your damn pride?” he scoffed.

“No, I’m desperate enough to negotiate for my privacy and respect.”

Remus gave him a look at that. Not one of mockery or scorn like Logan first predicted, but rather one of disbelief and intrigue.

“Alright, then.” he started, finally moving from his spot by the banister. Remus lazily meandered to the kitchen, searching around for something to eat. Logan considered hurrying back upstairs while he still could, but he decided against it. If this is Remus expressing a willingness to cooperate, he wasn’t about to pass it up.

After finding his desired snack Remus headed over to the couch and sat down with a self-satisfied hum, lapping up large handfuls of peanut butter right from the jar. “If this matters so much to you, we’ll start there,” he said, mouth still somewhat full. He patted the couch next to him and Logan sat back down, though somewhat hesitantly. There was no telling how this would go.

“Every now and then when I get bored and restless I tend to just get up and wander around the place, see where I end up and all that. Sometimes I get a snack, sometimes I watch a movie, sometimes I just end up walking in fucking circles until I stop thinking. But I’m pretty sure that whatever shit you were doing just now was something else. If it’s so important to you that you want to make some crazy-ass deal with me over it, you can at least tell me what it is.”

Logan didn’t like where this was headed but if it will make Remus understand, then he may as well try. He didn’t have much else to lose tonight, after all.

“Sometimes I need to de-stress, and this helps. I know that if anyone were to see me like this it would only lead to more ridicule, so I try to ensure a certain level of privacy.” Logan explained, not looking at Remus. He probably looked pathetic right now, a foolish mess that’s for some reason still wearing his damn unicorn onesie and probably has jam all over his face as well.

“Huh.”

“What?” Logan asked, finally looking up at Remus’ face.

“So those jokes really do something to you after all, then? Here I thought you only got all pissy when no one gave you any attention, but you actually don’t like the nicknames either.”

Logan felt like kicking himself. As if Remus catching him in his onesie was bad enough, now he also knows another weak spot for future torment.

“Please keep the jokes to a minimum around the others,” he begged. “at least regarding this. If they were to find out about me acting this childishly, I’d never hear the end of it.”

Remus smiled back at him. Strangely enough, this smile wasn’t mocking, or devious, or carrying an underlying tone of amusement at Logan's misfortune. It was genuine.

“Don’t sweat it, nerd,” he said with a dismissive wave. “If it bothers you that much then I guess I’ll keep my lips sealed. On one condition though.”

Logan tensed immediately. “What condition would that be?”

“Invite me to the next one, of course,” he said, bouncing lightly on the couch. “Oh, and let me stick around for the rest of tonight too, however long you’re planning on staying up for.”

Logan didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Why?”

“Well, wandering around an empty house at night eventually gets boring,” he explained. “Not to mention kinda lonely sometimes. If you’ll let me chill out with you like this every now and then, I’ll not tell anyone about it. You’d better keep wearing that onesie though, it’s a fun look on you. Or you can wear nothing at all, that works just as fine.”

Logan took a moment to process this. Sure, there very well could be the chance that Remus is tricking him, but he seems so sincere about this that he couldn’t help but want to believe it. If he were being honest about this potential arrangement, it wasn’t the worst deal anyway.

“You promise not to tell anyone, and ideally not to mock me about this either?” he asked.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Remus said, drawing an X over his heart as he spoke.

Logan sighed. He hoped he didn’t regret this in the future. “Fine. But if you change your mind and betray my trust, I will never forgive you.”

Remus eagerly nodded, extending a hand still covered in peanut butter. “Shake on it, then?”

Logan tried not to cringe at the idea. “I’ll just take your word on it this time.”

Remus shrugged, licking his hands clean before grabbing the remote and putting on Doctor Who. Logan nearly chuckled to himself at that, conceding that the deal may work out in his favor.

@keitaisghost @yuckypuppie @britt-ish123 @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @new-zee-land @can-i-take-a-stab

[lightningmickqueen]

formula 1 drivers as karaoke songs

yuki tsunoda: don’t go breaking my heart except he’s doing both parts because pierre didn’t want to stand up

alex albon: a thousand miles

george russell: i’m gonna be (500 miles) because idk if you guys know this but george russell is british (gasp!)

fernando alonso: fernando by abba but specifically this one edm version of it i’ve been obsessed with for the last 2 years. if the karaoke place doesn’t have it he will provide his own backing

lewis hamilton: total eclipse of the heart. he’s also actively turning around every time he sings “turn around” but it works because he is sir lewis hamilton 

esteban ocon: my heart will go on by celine dion. he sings it staring at pierre 

pierre gasly: bad blood by taylor swift. he is slut dropping and glaring at esteban who is staring smugly back 

max verstappen: good time by owl city and carly rae jepsen because he wants to get it over with so he chooses a song that’s not TOO awful but is bland enough that by the time it’s over people forgot he sang at all 

charles leclerc: i want it that way. he loves it. i bet he listens to this song constantly. during race weekends you’ll hear a quiet “NOW NUMBER FIVE” coming from his drivers room. he chooses the song during karaoke so he can scream it

lance stroll: don’t stop believing. this man thinks he is finn hudson and also i think he’s fully powered by the belief of one man (lawrence)

carlos sainz: hair by little mix. he’s got a choreographed dance too but dw it’s SUPER no homo he just thinks his hair is amazing and interprets the song as supporting that

lando norris: angels by robbie williams. everyone begs him not to but by the time he’s feeling weak and his pain walks down a one way street everybody is feeling it and groovy and loving angels instead ❤️  

nico hülkenberg: sweet caroline. this man has no personality other than being tall and german and he wants to make sure you know that

zhou guanyu: turn the beat around. he can hit those notes and he looks good doing it prove me wrong.

sergio perez: before he cheats by carrie underwood because he very emphatically wants people to know he did NOT cheat on his wife because clearly she didn’t do any of these things so it didn’t happen! also a banger

kevin magnussen: hit me with your best shot (kmag edition) aka he takes it so personally anyway it’s the best performance of the night 

logan sargeant: jolene. idk anything about this man but i believe in my heart he would belt out dolly 

valtteri bottas: love shack by the b-52s. he also listens to this song unironically on his own

honorary grid members (third drivers and recent pensioners):

daniel ricciardo: wannabe by the spice girls. it’s the only song he has memorized and he knows all the parts. he’s going for that second red bull seat he’s got incentive and he’s gotta get with christian’s friends (wife)

mick schumacher: fuck you by lily allen because he’s got so much rage but he’s still so polite! 

sebastian vettel: hey jude and it’s not even the single version it’s the full 7 minute 11 second one but no one minds because 1) it’s seb 2) it means they don’t have to listen to latifi sing 

nicholas latifi: absolutely anything by britney but it’s always a car crash (ha) so it’s queued at the end and there’s just not enough time to get to it so the world lives to see another day

romain grosjean: i will survive

[ilovedumboys]

i saw you love gilmore girls and so do i! would you do a imagine where like in season five, rory sees logan with that other girl while shopping with lorelai? rory and logan established that their “relationship” had no “strings attached”, yet it took a great toll on her. i was thinking, y/n as rory is really sad about seeing mattheo (as logan) with some other girl so she confines with her best friend pansy. happy ending where mattheo says he could learn to be a good boyfriend? thank youu!

I FOUND MY PEOPLE OMG MATTHEO PLUS GILMORE GIRLS UGHH also there is a lot of dialogue I pulled from Gilmore girls so mattheo is the bold :))

Mattheo and Y/n have been messing around for four weeks now, but keeping it casual. She knows they aren't official yet, but she wants them to be. Mattheo is all she can think about. So naturally she tells her best friend all about it. Y/n and Pansy are walking down the street of hogsmeade, and she's telling her everything.

"I just hope he doesn't get bored. I mean I'm not sleeping with him, at least not until he'll date me. Is that extra?" Pansy rips a piece of pretzel off, handing it to her. "No, it's self control, it shows that you don't just give it away." She says, stuffing a peice of pretzel in her mouth.

Y/n swats pansy to get her attention, the both of them looking over Mattheo and another girl sitting together in the three broomsticks, her playfully twirling his hair while he talks. "pans..." she says, her voice breaking. "god I'm such an idiot." she mutters, making her way down the street, back to the portkey to Hogwarts. Pansy runs after her. "babe, come on" she yells, but y/n ignores her. "Y/n..." pansy cooes, holding her hand.

They get back to their dorm, and pansy sits with her, painting her nails while Y/n rants. Then an owl pecks at the window, and Y/n stands up, opening it. A letter is dropped into her hand, and the owl flies away. "Its a letter from mattheo, he wants me to meet him at the astronomy tower." she murmurs. "Go!" pansy says, pushing her towards her closet. "and change you look like a mad woman."

Y/n walks up the stairs off the astronomy tower, her hands shaking with anxiety. "Mattheo?" she yells, looking around for him. "Hey, Y/n." he says, coming out from a corner. "Matty we need to talk..." she says, looking into his eyes.

"what's wrong?" he asks, stepping forward. "I um, I don't think I can see you anymore, or whatever we're doing." She says quickly, running a hand through her hair nervously. "Why, I thought we were fine?" he says, his voice laced with nervousness that his face doesn't show. "This casual dating thing, it's not who I am, and because I saw you today, with another girl, plus I haven't heard from you in a week." Mattheo shakes his head. "I was busy, I had some friends to catch up with and-" She cuts him off. "you know what, it doesn't matter, you're not my boyfriend you don't owe me any explanations, I just don't want to be one of the many anymore."

"Y/n come on." He says squinting slightly, seemingly examining her face. "Why are we done here?" he asks. She looks back up "I've said everything i have to say." He stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking upset. "Which is what?" "I'm a girlfriend girl, mattheo. I have boyfriends, not escorts." he paces slightly. "ah" "I thought I could be different but I can't, I'm sorry, maybe we can just go back to being friends again." Mattheo looks mad, running a hand through his hair. "or maybe we can become boyfriend and girlfriend, right?" "What?" "I get it, I get what you're doing." Y/n rolls her eyes. "I'm not doing anything." "Hey if that's what you want just come out and say it okay, but you coming in here and issuing an ultimatum?" "There's no ultimatum!" he paces before getting closer to her.

There is a few moments of silence, his breath heavy. "alright fine, I'll do it." She looks into his eyes. "Do what?" "I'll be your boyfriend." "You can't be my boyfriend." "Why not?" He raises his voice. "Because you told me you can't be my boyfriend." "If I say I can then I can..." "you have a 100 girls on speed dial. You keep your options open, very open." "That doesn't matter, you came in here saying you're unhappy with the situation right?" "Right.." "Yes, right, Ive fixed the situation." "You're not a boyfriend guy I get that it's fine!" She says, not wanting to argue. "Y/n, do you really wanna stop seeing me?" She pauses. "No but I can't-" "cause I don't wanna stop seeing you." "Okay, but" "So then except what I'm saying. I don't like trying new things, new is different, but I can do it." "Are you sure?"

He grabs her waist, her hand on the back of her head. He kisses her deeply, pulling away and looking into her eyes. "I know you can do that, but." he cuts her off with another kiss. "Then believe me." He pulls away but his hands never leave her waist. "We're starting again, new beginning." "okay." she smiles. "I'm an excellent boyfriend." he says kissing her again. "I agree, but do you wanna tell that girl you were with earlier that?" "Oh she'll figure it out soon enough." "Better not treat me like that." "oh never, you're my girlfriend now."

[beauty-and-passion]

FSS3: Season 2 finale - Part 1

Welcome, everyone, to the unofficial season 2 finale.

First I will post the four parts of my take on the season 2 finale of Sanders Sides, then all the episodes of season 3.

Updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

HERE is the explanation of the project

HERE is the introductory post

HERE the AO3 link to read this part (every part will be available both here and on AO3)

As said in the introductory post, Fanders Sides Season 3 (season 2 finale included) could have triggering themes/scenes. Please keep that in mind before reading.

And now, finally, let's start.

_______________________________

This episode serves as a recap of the situation until now.

Thomas and Nico are on a date and we get to know Nico a little more: he studied art and literature. He wants to be a songwriter and a few singers already commissioned him some songs, but he’s still not gaining enough money to leave his current job. So, he keeps working as a bartender and he usually picks the night shifts, because the salary is better. Also, he’s kind of a night owl, so he doesn’t mind staying up late.

Thomas comes back home, still giggly and excited about the date. Everything was perfect, everything was amazing, Nico is amazing.

Roman approves and revels in the beautiful feeling of love. He looks completely satisfied and relaxed, even if his expression still shows an underlying tension.

Logan is happy too. Nico seems nice, but they are still wasting too much time in basic discussions about themselves: they should talk more about art and literature, since Nico is an expert in this field. They can compare their favorite writers, talk about their favorite singers and discuss the different musical genres.

Roman doesn’t care about the topic of their conversations: they can talk about everything they want, they can even talk about grocery lists and it would still be wonderful and perfect.

Patton is happy for Roman and admits that yes, Nico really seems like a nice guy. It’s good Thomas found love, he makes his old dad proud!

Virgil gives a sarcastic remark: jeez, thanks Patton for giving your approval, now we can keep seeing him. But we’ll do it anyway, because Nico seems a very cool guy.

Thomas agrees: Nico is great, isn’t he?

All Sides give their approval, except for Janus, who just stays in a corner, minding his own business. Thomas notices it and asks him what he thinks about Nico.

Janus replies that he’s not interested in Thomas’ mushy, romantic feelings. They are not his area of expertise.

(Both Roman and Virgil give him a dirty look.)

However, adds Janus, since it looks like this guy makes Thomas happy, he is happy as well.

Thomas confirms he’s very happy indeed and tells his Sides there will be another date tomorrow. He is over the moon, he can’t believe Nico enjoys his company so much, to ask him for another date!

At the same time, he’s a bit worried: is it okay? Are they truly ready for this? He doesn’t feel… ready. Is he going too fast, maybe?

Roman laughs: too fast? If anything, they’re going too slow! Thomas should’ve already confessed his love and called Nico his boyfriend! But they’re still stuck in the “friends/a little more than friends” stage! Thomas should make his move asap and get Nico before someone else does it.

Yes, Remus confirms, by suddenly appearing and scaring the shit out of everyone (except for Logan, who just rolls his eyes). You better get a move on, Thomas. Just tear his pants apart, then go straight for the d…

You can’t hurry these things, Logan interrupts Remus. Relationships take time to grow, hurrying them would lead to regret and disappointing expectations.

Patton agrees: Thomas needs more time to get to know Nico better. Right now, he cares for Nico, sure… but he doesn’t love him yet.

Janus confirms that yes, of course Thomas needs more time. He cannot pretend to fully know a guy he met twice.

Roman dismisses their protests: they don’t know what they’re saying and they’re all stupid anyway. They just talked about how cool Nico is and how great this relationship is for Thomas! Of course they should make the next move as soon as possible! But Virgil knows better and he will side with Roman, right?

Virgil takes a moment to look around and bite his nails. Then, under Roman’s expecting gaze, he finally admits that Thomas needs more time.

Roman is shocked: what? Why? Weren’t they both on board with this?

Sure they are, Virgil confirms. But they also need more time.

Roman raises his voice: they did it together, Virgil was the one who pushed Thomas to start this relationship and now he wants Thomas to slow down?! Doesn’t he care about Thomas? Doesn’t he see how happy he is and how happy they both are? Thomas and Nico should be a couple asap! They should be boyfriends now!

Every word makes Virgil feel more and more uneasy. The others notice it and, in the end, it’s Janus who snaps first by asking Roman a simple question: do they really know who Nico is?

Sure they know, Roman replies. He’s the cute guy they met in the mall, he’s a poet, a songwriter, an artist and a beautiful soul.

And what does this “beautiful soul” really want? Janus asks. Are they really sure Nico wants Thomas for who he is? What if he wants to exploit Thomas’ fame for himself? What if his kindness is just a façade and all Nico wants is to use Thomas to pursue his career? He admitted he’s not making enough money with his songs: but if he finds a guy with a stable fanbase and enough money, he can drop the job he doesn’t like and let Thomas pay everything for him.

Roman protests: Nico is not like that! He didn’t even know Thomas was an influencer! Heck, he had absolutely no idea of who he was, before Thomas himself told him today! It’s pretty clear he doesn’t like him for his fame!

Janus crosses his arms: so you think it’s pretty normal that a normal guy accepts a date from the weirdo who admitted he spent hours spying on him and his backpack?

It was to check if he was gay as well!, Roman protests. Thomas wasn’t “spying” on him!

So it wasn’t weird? Janus retorts. A guy approaches you, tells you he was checking if you’re gay and you think he’s good enough for a date? Would Thomas have done the same? Of course not. But what if it was a famous influencer who stalked him and asked for a date? Now that guy doesn’t seem such a weirdo as before, right?

Not good in both cases, Logan replies. You cannot trust random people, whether they are strangers or influencers.

So, Janus continues with a thankful nod towards Logan, since this is common knowledge and Nico looks clever enough to know that, then there should be another reason why he thought it was okay to accept Thomas’ request: he knew who Thomas was and wanted to exploit the situation.

Roman protests again: Nico accepted Thomas because he was touched by his purity and honesty. By openly admitting what he was doing, Thomas proved he was good and kind. And since Nico is good and kind too, he agreed to go on a date with him. His honesty attracted Nico, not his money or fame. And Janus would know too, if he had any idea of what honesty is.

Patton intervenes because he notices the rising tension and admits that, hey, they both have a point. Sure, Nico seems trustworthy and kind and nice… but they also do not know him well enough to be sure. And even if he feels it’s okay to trust Nico, he wants everyone to feel the same. And Thomas should think about it too.

Thomas agrees with Patton: he should take his time, until every part of him feels more at ease with the idea of pushing things further with Nico. He should learn more about him, to know where his heart is. And Nico should prove to him that he likes Thomas for who he is and not for his fame or money.

Patton nods: he’s very proud of Thomas’ decision. He’s really growing up and becoming a mature boy!

Janus agrees too: Thomas should keep his guard up and not blindly trust everyone.

Logan agrees: a longer relationship will only strengthen their bond.

Virgil approves too: spending more time developing their relationship will make Virgil feel more at ease and ready for when it will be time to push things further.

Remus shrugs and leaves, without a single care.

Roman, on the other hand, doesn’t say anything. He just balls his hands into fists, before sinking with a furious expression.

_______________________________

END CARD

Virgil and Roman are discussing and Roman accuses Virgil of not siding up with him. Three Sides were against him, but if Virgil sided up with him and his stupid brother, they would’ve reached a tie. But he chose to take these traitors’ side instead!

Virgil justifies himself: it’s not that he doesn’t want to push things further with Nico, but all things need time and he’s the first who needs more time. He still is 100% on Roman’s side, he just asks for a little more time. That’s all.

Roman is still angry and leaves, to sink into his room. We see a study, part of a table filled with documents/scripts/books.

Roman hides his face between his hands. For a moment, it looks like he will start to cry: the moment after, he stands up angrier than before and, with a frustrated scream, throws everything that is on his desk on the floor. He even picks up a book and angrily throws it against a mirror.

The broken mirror echoes in his ears, his reflection shows an orange hue in his eyes. Roman snaps out of his fury: he looks around, while a disembodied voice softly snickers in his ears.

Roman yells to “go away” and “leave him alone”, until the snickering stops and he’s alone again, in his trashed studio.

_______________________________

AUTHOR’S NOTE

As said in the beginning, this episode serves as a recap, because it’s been YEARS since the last canonical episode and people have all the reasons to forget what the fuck happened. So we will reintroduce Nico and raise the conflict between the Sides once again. Too many useless things happened in the meantime, we need them to rebuild the tension.

In addition to that, I wanted to reintroduce the trademark element of Sanders Sides, which is Thomas standing in his living room and talking about an issue with his Sides. Not all episodes have to be huge and complicated after all, especially this one which is just part 1 of 4.

However, along with the trademark element, I also added a new element, which is the private conversations between Sides, in which we can expand on them, their conflicts and their ideas.

And yes, I added one first little orangey hint, because it was time to give something more than just orange eyes. Consider this an additional element of tension. This is a finale, after all.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl@allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia@whatishappeningrightnow  @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag  @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling​ @payte​ @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical​ @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20​ @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker​  @csi-baker-street-babes​ @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing​

@thatoneloudowl​  @grayson-22  @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside  @coldbookworm  @snixxxsmythe​ @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3

[mayflora-18]

Fact Drop #2

Sherlock has black-brown hair. When she was in school she had bowl cut bangs and thinner eyes so she was made fun of for being Asian-American (even though she isn’t really Asian-American)

Yellow lab energy

5’3.75”

Wears wireframe aviator glasses when doing paperwork; has a black and silver pair

Favorite toy: grizzly bear plush

Normally prefers violence as a last resort; “Ask first, shoot later” kinda girl but will fight if 💩 goes south

Nik usually keeps her out of the field if he can. If he can’t however then she HAS to either be with him or communicate with him on a regular basis

Incorrect quote #3

Graves: Who’s that?

Nikolai: Her? That’s Sherlock, our resident background investigator.

Graves: Cool, she’s mine now.

Nikolai: The fuck she is!

Graves, hoisting a very confused Sherlock over his shoulder: Try and stop me!

Sherlock, knowing Graves can’t be trusted but he’s got her in a fireman’s carry: Unhand me-

Grizzly bear plush (named Logan) was given to her by Nik as a “signing bonus”. Has another bat plush named Morty that she’s had since childhood and doesn’t leave her desk

Will offer Morty to whoever needs something to hug

Doesn’t receive as much bullying as she thought she would; either because of Nik’s almost constant presence giving her scary dog privileges or because of the slap incident

Has various handmade soft blankets/pillows/plushies

One of the few people that wasn’t afraid of Ghost when she first met him because she loves skulls

She wins him over with jokes

Nikolai’s niece through his little sister “Louisiana”

Has trust issues because of mentor in Army

She has unusually high ESP. Price tested it once by calling her a busybody in his head, and she asks him, “Is that a nice thing to say?”

Lucky to get > 4 four hours of sleep due to insomnia

Reads books to fall asleep

Is a night owl and requires a full pot of coffee to fully wake up and go about her day

Counters everything Nik is (Cory Matthews x Shawn Hunter vibes)

Sherlock is that person that will do parkour to get things off the top shelf and ultimately scare the 💩 out of the taller military men

She’s also the person that will pick you up and carry you away if you’re annoying her or there’s danger

Is less a background investigator and more of Nik’s assistant

Incorrect quote #4

*Nik and Price are having an argument over something ridiculous*

Gaz: Should we do something?

Sherlock: I’m already smoking and laughing. What more do you want?

Tries to avoid operating on the field whenever possible

Visits family when on leave (if she has leave)

Breakfast food and dirty chais are the way to her heart

Sherlock is a believer of what she calls Lightman’s Law: “Every Homo sapien can and should be trusted to lie.” As a result it is very rare for her to approach anyone unfamiliar for the first time with any hostility or distrust

König wants to be friends with Sherlock but doesn’t really know how to approach her. He’s seen her interact with the field operators in Chimera and TF141 and really wants her to be his “mom friend”

Incorrect quote #5:

Random soldier: *talking down to König for some stupid reason*

König: *stopped trying to appease them a while ago and is now hanging his head*

Sherlock: *walking by and sees this* Hey! Are we on a coffee break?

*Random soldier and König both turn to look at her and see that she is irritated by what she sees*

Random soldier, dumbly: I-I don’t drink coffee-

Sherlock: Well then I guess the break is over. Get back to work, thank you!

Random soldier: *bolts out of there, embarrassed*

König:

Sherlock: You’ll get there, sweetie, you just gotta put a little zing into it. *walks away*

König, thinking: I can’t believe I just talked to a woman!

(He didn’t talk at all.)

Makes blankets that are soft enough to tranquilize upon drapery

Avoids conflict but will fight/kill when provoked (hit on, friends in fight, loved ones at gunpoint)

Exercise = morning walk + yoga + powerlift

Can carry grown men like toddlers

Abby Sciuto + Spencer Reid love child energy (ft. Penelope Garcia and Radar) at work

Nik & Sherlock = Grunkle Stan & Mabel Pines energy

High tolerance for extreme temperatures/pain/painkillers/alcohol

Her dad loves her. He just doesn’t know how to cater to her happiness and mental well-being

Loves Halloween so she can jumpscare Rick (her second eldest brother)

Is capable of shovel talk

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Hoot

In 2006, the movie Hoot was made, and seemingly nobody in the universe I know saw it or heard of it. This is despite it being made out of an award-winning children’s book about being nice to the environment in Florida. When the movie got made, it got some press attention because of its producer, and then just…

nothing.

Which is a shame because it’s a really good movie, and I am surprised to say that.

Look, I have something of a spoiler warning here, in that I intend to talk about the way this movie ends, but, like, you know what this movie is, right? It’s a children’s movie based on an award-winning children’s novel and it doesn’t have a dog on the cover of the book, which means you can guess the entirety of this story from just knowing the characters exist. You are not watching this movie to be challenged by a plot twist.

more

Alright, the plot for this one, let’s see if I can do this in one breath.

We have Roy, who moves from Montana to Florida and then has to do the new kid thing at school where he winds up seeing a running kid his own age in the wilds and becomes fascinated with it while in the b plot a police officer is trying to deal with a construction site for a pancake house that keeps getting vandalised I wonder how these two threads intersect and then the running boy’s step-sister reveals to Roy that her name is Bianca and she rules and her brother is meant to be in military school and instead he’s doing ecoterrorism to try and stop the construction from running over the nesting grounds of a type of Floridan burrowing owl, which are very cute and then the teens have to work together to find a way to delay, prevent, and then stop the construction which they do with an elaborate con and some minor crimes and convincing the cop to help them out (though Roy’s schoolteacher doesn’t help the cops, because he knows what’s what) and then they all stand around the shut-off bulldozer and everybody claps.

This isn’t a complicated movie. It has the feeling that you’re already watching it on Youtube at 1.5 speed.

Hey, also, a thing that this movie has that I wouldn’t expect is that this cast of actors are kind of incredible, in a ‘oh hey it’s that guy’ way? Like how Leverage is a show made up of talented character actors recruiting other talented character actors to make stories, this movie is built out of people you will, probably, recognise.

Roy, our main character, is Logan Lerman, aka Percy Jackson. Mullet Fingers, his boyfriend, is Cody Linley, aka Hannah Monatana’s boyfriend. Bianca the Bear, the girl who would have permanently deformed your sexuality if you saw this at the right age, is Brie Larson. But then in the adults, you have Neil Flynn (the Janitor from Scrubs) as Roy’s dad, and the evil corrupt owl-hater executive is Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson from the good Marvel Cinematic Universe Shorts). Finally, rounding out the adult cast members, playing the cop, is Luke Wilson, the Owen Wilson you got on wish or the Matthew Fox you got on Temu.

And while we’re dealing with, essentially stock characters, they’re still executed on reasonably well. Particularly interesting to me at first is how the story handles the characters of Roy, Mullet Fingers and Bianca. Roy is an out of towner kid from a wildly different space, and a bullied put-upon newcomer, but they don’t go to that story beat too hard or too deep — he’s mostly notable for just being nice and interested in helping what he interprets as a homeless person, like he’s unused to seeing a child his age running around Florida without shoes.

It does come across as a little queer that he thinks of bringing care to this person without ever meeting him first, but y’know, you can have a boyfriend, as a treat, narrative. All the Mullet Finger moments are essentially dating montages, these two boys hanging out and like, being introduced to the wonders of the Floridan wildlife. Mullet Fingers is also a real himbo, just simple as you can get and honest and beloved by the animals, which creates a sort of Disney Princess meets ecoterrorist boyfriend vibe that’s really unexpected.

Bianca is a character archetype that I like when done well and here, she’s done really well. The easy thing to do would be to have her leverage her position/presence as a girl to put Dana, the bully in his place, and then forget she did that and have her tag along. Instead, Bianca gets multiple scenes where she demonstrates her ability to throw Dana around is neither gendered nor a fluke, we get to hear her talk about her and her brother’s experiences, and it even includes a consideration of her inner life. This doesn’t pass the Bechdel-Wallace test or nothing, but it’s a damn sight improvement over her and she doesn’t kiss the hero at the end because he’s a good boy. They become friends, which makes sense, because he’s dating her stepbrother.

Oh, and the big final reveal is that Roy and Mullet Fingers spend their time sneaking around Florida’s developments and committing acts of eco terrorism. That owns.

And it’s pretty reasonable to ask: hey why the hell, Talen, why the hell did you watch this movie for literal babies? Why did you spend your time watching a movie that’s presented with the star power of a couple of guest episodes of a mid-budget TV series? And why is it, when I will gleefully mock ‘And Everybody Clapped’ in all sorts of media, why do I forgive this one so readily?

First of all: This is for children. The idea of ‘everybody clapped’ media isn’t a real problem to me when we’re talking about a way to get children invested in the story of how things should be. Maybe the brutal realities of how actual zoning law enforcement works will be different for them but we can handle the idea of a rousing speech and an inspiring idea being good things to share when we want actual kids to feel like they have agency in the world.

The other thing, though? Why watch this?

This is a Jimmy Buffett movie. Jimmy Buffett produced the movie, and back in 2004 when he was getting ready to make it, I remembered hearing the news that he was invested in this because he believed in the movie and the message. This is a man whose work was very important to me throughout my entire childhood and most of my adulthood if I have one of those and in all that time, I am aware I mostly listened to music he made in one small window of time. This guy’s career was longer than my entire life, and I mostly know him for one ten year window of time my Dad liked.

I wanted to change that. And I wanted to try something else he had a hand in, and that meant checking out Hoot.

Glad I did.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[creativia10]

*materializes into existence*

HI :D

Mayhaps platonic analogical? Logan meeting one of Virgil's pet spiders? Maybe?

Idk if you're up for requests rn, but here this is in case you are.

Have fun writing :D

When Virgil Can Share His Spider Love

Warnings: Spiders

Pairing: Platonic Logan and Virgil

Wordcount: 3059

Notes: Yes I am most certainly up for requests. My first post about taking fanfic writing requests was for Sanders Sides, but this is actually my first writing request for this series. Most of them have been for the Owl House. I actually haven't written for analogical (platonic of otherwise) in a while, so this is nice.

This prompt implies that Virgil has more than one pet spider, which was a concept I don't think I've seen before. So I wanted to play with that idea in a way that still stuck true to the initial prompt. This almost gets me to want to write a fic about Virgil acquiring his first spider pet actually. I'm also considering one about Logan getting a pet. Maybe another fic related to this one, sometimes I get inspired.

It's almost common knowledge at this point that Virgil  has a pet spider. So he doesn’t think much of it. When Logan approached Virgil one day out of the blue, his pet spider was not a topic he expected to come up.

 Logan was all business. His posture straight and face neutral. Not an unusual look for the logical side. His eyes had a direct and focused look to them as he faced Virgil. That said he had an intent purpose for coming to the other.

Virgil tensed instinctively. His first response to anything always being to stay on guard.

Logan’s hands were folded behind his back and he nodded to the anxious side.

“Virgil. If I could have a moment of your time, I wanted to ask something of you,” Logan said.

Yeah, that wasn’t helping at all.

Virgil leaned back a bit and nodded.

“Uh…yeah Logan? What’s up?”

Logan tilted his head slightly at the reaction, but his face didn’t twitch.

“Apologies if my approach has distressed you at all. It is nothing bad, I can assure you.”

Now that should reassure him in some way, but this was Virgil. Hopefully the others would understand by now it’s not that simple to calm him down.

“Uh huh. Just out with it, Logan. What did you want to ask?” Virgil asked.

Logan nodded and straightened up again.

“Right, yes. I have been informed of the uh spider situation in your room.”

Ah, yes. Virgil knew what he was referring to.

After the mini-plushies video, Roman had seen Virgil's use for mini-Roman. A companion for his pet spider. Roman had not approved, not wanting any version of him to be near a spider. So he got Remus to give Virgil another spider, so that could be the first one’s companion. Little did Roman know, the new one was a male spider. Seeing as the original was a female…you can see where that went.

Roman had even more incentive to avoid Virgil’s room than he had before. Virgil loved having many spiders in his room though. These spiders were all over the room now. The webbing from the Halloween special was no longer a one-time thing. Since there were so many spiders around. Most of them were still small, as the majority were still babies. They were actually hard to keep track of because of that. Another thing that made the other sides unnerved.

“Ah. Yeah? What about it?” Virgil asked.

He wasn’t sure why Logan was asking. It didn’t affect him. The other sides rarely went into Virgil’s room anyways because of the affect it had on them.

“Well, uh,” Logan shifted. The first break in his perfectly logical posture.

 Now Virgil narrowed his eyes, but in confusion.

Logan cleared his throat.

“I haven’t heard of such a phenomenon happening with another side before. Which, of course I suppose makes sense. Seeing as this is a new thing, and we only know of other sides of Thomas. Not to mention you are the only side here with an affinity for spiders. As most of them have a fear of them due to Thomas’ arachnophobia…”

The rambling…was Logan nervous?

“Logan,” Virgil simply said.

Logan stopped mid-sentence and then adjusted his tie.

“Ah, right. Well, anyways, I found myself curious about the state of these spiders in your room. As I often am with anything out of the ordinary in the mindscape when it’s not solely imagination based. It only makes sense as the aspect of Thomas for logic. That I would want to know as much as I can, especially if it pertains to himself,” Logan said.

“Logan, you don’t have to justify being curious about something,” Virgil said.

Something shifted briefly in Logan’s face, that was gone in a blink. Logan adjusted his glasses.

“Of course not. I wasn’t doing that. I don’t need to do such a thing,” Logan said.

Virgil found himself wondering if Janus would call Logan out on that were he around. Virgil decided to let it be for now though.

“Okay. Anyways,” Virgil gestured for Logan to get to his point.

Logan nodded again.

“Right, yes. Is it okay with you that I enter your room and observe the spiders in there,” Logan asked.

Virgil blinked. He wasn’t sure why, but that was not what he expected Logan to ask.

Maybe to ask a bunch of questions, given Logan’s love for knowledge. But to actually want to see them? Nobody had ever expressed an interest in something of Virgil’s like that before. He didn’t blame the others for fearing spiders, of course. But it was nice that someone actually wanted to know more about the creatures. And not just want to get rid of them right away.

“Is that all?” Virgil found himself asking.

Logan nodded.

“Yes. I wanted to see how the many spiders behaved in an enclosed environment such as your room. Not to mention if their behaviors compare to real spiders at all. I'm curious to see what that could mean for Thomas’ subconscious,” Logan said.

“Okay. Yeah, you can watch them. But under one condition,” Virgil said and held a finger up.

Virgil could see the excited gleam in Logan’s eye once Virgil had said yes. Logan rolled his shoulders back and re-straightened his posture. But Virgil could still see Logan’s excitement.

“Yes, of course. What is it?” Logan asked.

“You must not harm any of them,” Virgil said more seriously. The others’ dislike of the spiders was not the only reason no one else had gone in since so many spawned. Like Virgil said, most of the spiders were so small. His difficulty keeping track of them made Virgil nervous as well. He wasn’t versed in the proper way to take care of so many spiders. They had started to crawl around before he could get them in an enclosed space for their own safety.

He didn’t want to chance anyone else stepping on them. Especially when he was barely sure about being able to avoid such a thing himself. Plus, even though he doesn’t think anyone would want to upset Virgil, he is well aware of fight-or-flight when it comes to seeing something you are afraid of. He doesn’t think anyone would want to upset Virgil. But one of them could smack a spider instinctively without meaning to.

Nobody had complained about the ban from his room for the time being. Yet, Virgil could see Logan being more careful. Logan had the science knowledge on how to be around critters. And would be more cautious in Virgil’s room anyways.

“If you so much as swing near a spider, I will ban you from my room and from all the spiders,” Virgil continued.

Logan nodded.

“Of course, Virgil. I promise, I mean no harm to your spiders. I will be extra careful,” Logan said.

Virgil’s shoulders untensed and he sighed in relief.

“Okay,” Virgil said. He gestured for Logan to follow him and headed to his room.

He stopped in front of his door and turned around. Then he waved for Logan to step back some. Logan furrowed his brows in confusion but stepped back anyways.

“Okay. So first, I need to make sure none of them are in the way. So there is a clear path to walk in without a chance of anyone getting stepped on. I also ask that you not come in here without me,” Virgil said.

“Of course, Virgil. This is your room. I wouldn’t enter without you unless you said I could.”

Virgil nodded and then carefully opened the door. He quickly looked on the ground and then stepped forward, closing the door behind him. He wanted to make sure none of them could escape from the room. Spiders running rampant through the mindscape was the last thing they needed.

As Virgil looked forward on the ground, he squinted and kneeled to get a better view. There were some on the floor. Looking like little black dots with tiny legs scattering about. He reached forward and gently brushed them to the side. Most of them reacted instantly, scurrying away. Some heading to the closest webs and jumping away. The ones closest to his hands started to climb onto his fingers the moment his warmth came near them.

He sighed at those ones and held his hands to his chest as he stood up. Then he moved his hands to the closest webs at his shoulder level and lead them to cling onto those instead.

Virgil scanned the floor another time to be sure and then turned to the door.

“Okay Logan! You can come in now. Please close the door quickly, and still watch your step the whole time. They move around a lot.”

The door opened and Logan swiftly slipped inside. He closed the door almost as soon as he was in. Honestly, Virgil was impressed.

Logan leaned against the door for a moment. Then he looked down in front of him, before he followed Virgil’s path to the center of the room. Logan walked at a slower pace though as he was looking around at the room.

Virgil’s room tended to have a lot of spider webs and cobwebs, as he liked the aesthetic. But there were way more now. The newer ones were more distinguishable. They had nicer designs and the designs were easier to see. Most of them didn’t block walkways thankfully. But the walls were covered in spiderwebs, along with some corners. And the webs were covered in spiders. They were scurrying about, spinning webs, and crawling along the furniture as well.

Logan looked around himself a lot, as though he couldn’t decide where to focus on.

“Fascinating…” Logan said, “I assumed that others had vastly overestimated the amount in here. Given the other sides’ wariness of spiders.”

Virgil snorted at that.

“Ah, no. The spiders reproduced fast.”

Logan hmmed at that. as he stepped forward to the wall right to their side. He observed a particularly intricate web hanging there.

“Do they always have this much energy?” Logan asked. His thinking face on.

Virgil thought about it.

“I’m not sure actually. There’s always some sort of movement going on, except maybe at night. It’s hard to determine if it’s the same spiders or not though,” Virgil said.

“Yes, I can imagine the sheer amount of them would make discerning that difficult. Now a 24/7 camera on them and careful observation may help with gathering data for that,” Logan muttered.

“I’m not putting a camera in here, Logan,” Virgil said.

Logan waved that off, “Yes, of course not. I was just thinking out loud,” Logan said.

Virgil hmmed at that. He knew Logan wouldn’t breach his privacy, but even bringing up such a thing made Virgil nervous.

Virgil took a breath. Logan continued to mutter to himself aloud. He leaned in closer to the webs than most people tended to, while being mindful not to get stuck in one.

A small hiss got Virgil’s attention, and he glanced to his bedside table. He smiled when he saw his first spider companion sitting there. Virgil walked over and then kneeled so he was eye-level with her.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you,” Virgil said softly.

He had no idea where her mate was though. Probably on one of the ceiling webs or something.

He reached forward slowly before he started to pet her.

He heard Logan come over to them, and then sit on the bed. The bed was one of the few places the spiders didn’t take over in the room. Unless it was night time and they decided to follow mom cuddling with Virgil. Before he has to shoo them away that is.

Virgil shifts so Logan can see, before Virgil puts a hand out in front of the bedside table. He gently coaxes her crawl onto his hand. Virgil felt her little legs tap lightly against his hand as she scurried on. He stood up with her in his hand. Then he turned to face Logan.

“Would you like to meet her?” Virgil asked.

Logan blinks. “Meet her?”

“You know, like pet her and maybe hold her,” Virgil said.

Logan looked at the spider with an awed look.

“Ah…if it is truly okay?” Logan asked.

Virgil nodded and sat beside the other on the bed.

“Yeah, I trust you. Plus, I’m right here in case you change your mind.”

Logan nodded.

“Alright.”

Virgil holds his hand out, and Logan reaches forward hesitantly. He pets her softly, barely even touching her.

“I can’t promise they would all be this chill with petting,” Virgil said. “Even if the others weren’t too small for that anyways. I don’t know them all yet. I haven’t even really tried naming the new ones, as I wouldn’t know how to keep track of which one was who.”

“What is this one’s name then?” Logan asked.

Virgil felt his face warm. Nobody had asked about her name yet, so he hadn’t needed to admit it.

“…Charlotte.”

Logan paused and then smiled.

“Like from the book?” Logan asked.

Virgil sighed.

“Yeah…I named her when I was young, alright? And I thought of the spider friend from the book when I saw her…” Virgil muttered.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, Virgil. It’s cute,” Logan said, still smiling.

Virgil groaned.

“I don’t want to seem cute,” Virgil said.

“Ah, of course. Having one sentimental name for a pet doesn’t have to take away from your uh, quote ‘toughness’,” Logan said.

“I’ll give the other spiders much cooler names,” Virgil said.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less,” Logan said.

They went back to just focusing on the spider after that.

“It has been a while since Thomas has touched such a creature. Especially given his arachnophobia. I myself never have on my own. I don’t interact with the imagination much,” Logan said after a moment.

Virgil nods.

“I understand. I don’t go out of my way for the twins’ creatures. But it is nice to have my own little companion like this,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded, petting her softly again.

“Yes, I recall there are many positive benefits to having a pet. I can uh,” Logan clears his throat again, “I can see the appeal.”

“Did you want to hold her?” Virgil asked.

Logan inhaled.

“Yes,” He said.

Logan held his hands out.

“Be very careful with her,” Virgil said.

“I will,” Logan said softly.

Virgil quietly encouraged her to crawl onto Logan’s hand. She was much more hesitant to crawl onto Logan’s hand. Charlotte stepped forward at a slower pace as though cautious about the new surface.

Virgil saw Logan refrain from jolting at Charlotte’s first little taps onto his hand. He only twitched briefly. The touches of the little legs tickle, especially if you’re not used to it. Logan’s eyes widened as he looked down at her. After a moment of no more movement, Charlotte continued to crawl onto Logan’s hand.

He slowly brought her closer to his chest, and put his other hand up near the first as a wall to keep her from falling. She spun in a circle on his hand.

Logan’s mouth twitched into a smile at that.

“I think she likes you,” Virgil said.

Logan glanced up, but didn’t look away from her for long.

“How can you tell?” Logan asked.

Virgil shrugged.

“Well for one thing, the fact that she has stayed on your hand. She also hasn’t tried to bite or attack you at all,” Virgil said.

“Was that a concern?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know. Like I said, this hasn’t come up much. She at least doesn’t dislike you or see you as a threat. Probably because she trusts me,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded.

“Do you think she is more intelligent than a real spider? Along with the others around here?” Logan asked.

“I’m not sure. It wouldn’t surprise me though. Considering Thomas’ fear of spiders, these ones are surprisingly friendly. More so than I would expect,” Virgil said.

“That could make it easier for them to exist in the mindscape,” Logan said.

“Perhaps,” Virgil said.

Charlotte stayed put for a moment after doing her spins. She crawled side to side for a moment. But then decided to get brave and started to climb up Logan’s arm.

Logan gasped and froze, clearly unprepared for that.

“Charlotte no!” Virgil exclaimed. He wrapped his hands around her and pulled her off of Logan before she could get past his elbow.

She then proceeded to attempt crawling around his fingers.

“Gah!”

Virgil struggled to get a hold of her again. He ended up using a scientific gentle pinch to hold her still before setting her back down on the bedside table. She moved side to side again before starting to climb up the wall to get to the web there.

Virgil sighed and turned back to Logan.

“Sorry about that. She decided to be in an adventurous mood all the sudden,” Virgil said.

Logan laughed a little.

“It’s fine. Honestly, it was a bit amusing once I realized what was happening. I was only concerned it would be harder to watch out for her when she was crawling about,” Logan said.

 Virgil nodded.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Which is why it was better to get her off of you. In fact, I think spider visit time may be over now. They may not seem like it, but spiders can actually get quite shy. I wouldn’t want to chance how they would be once they get tired of being around a new person,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded. “Of course. I’m grateful for any amount of time I got with them.”

Logan walked out of the room, Virgil behind him to close the door carefully again.

Logan smiled at Virgil once he was in the hallway.

“Thank you, Virgil. I know that was a bit of an unusual request for you. I don’t take your trust for granted,” Logan said.

Virgil smiled a bit shyly at him.

“No problem, Logan. It’s not that big of a deal. Let me know if you ever wanna swing by again to visit them. Maybe you can help me find a way to name the new ones without going crazy,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded at him.

“Of course. I’d be honored.”