#and I am including Cis men in this because there are. genuinely valid and non predatory reasons a cis man may end up in the women’s restroom

[area51-escapee]

Spraying my brain with a water bottle like it’s a rabid animal and reminding it to not take everything in the worst faith possible but also when I see Cis women bragging about just using men’s restrooms at taylor swift concerts because there’s less men than women there I can’t help but think about how a Cis man or any trans person ever or anybody who doesn’t look completely stereotypically feminine even looking at a women’s restroom is cause for violence against them

[florenceisfalling]

Sometimes I wonder what the point of labels in regards to sexuality even is when everyone insists every single label needs to encompass every single person. And when people say 'well the definition is old, now it means X!' and all they've done is change the "exclusionary" definition (i.e; the entire meaning of the label) so it now forcibly includes X, Y and Z.

And I know people are going to jump to conclusions and call me a TERF or a bigot or whatever, but I'm just genuinely confused why there's such an opposition to some labels and identities not including every single spectrum of gender identity?

Or why every single label has to be a spectrum? If that makes sense? Like when I was growing up, 'lesbian' was a label for women (trans or cis) who were exclusively romantically and sexually attracted to women. Unless you were an ace or aro lesbian, in which case you still exclusively liked women, just only romantically or only sexually.

Now lesbian seems to have no meaning, because it means 'non-men loving non-men' except it also includes men and people with penises who use he/him but they're not 'a man' so they're a lesbian, and its just... Super confusing?

Same with being gay. Its 'non-women loving non-women' but its fine for a person with a vagina using she/her pronouns to be gay, because being gay was forcibly changed because it was offensive to non-gay people who just wanted to use the label gay?

I do believe that every gender and sexuality is valid, but I also believe that we're reaching a point of extreme inclusivity and an extreme 'all or nothing' stance that is slowly eradicating the actual meaning of any of the identities within the LGBT+ community. If there's an identity that doesn't include your gender identity, instead of forcibly altering it because you believe you're entitled to it, why not just create an identity that does include you? Or find an existing identity that does?

Everyone is so opposed to 'boxes' and 'limitations' in the community but nobody is pausing to consider that actually, you can't have an identifying label without there being some form of actual criteria by which the label is defined. And that's not a bad thing. The term was created in order to define and give a moniker to X specific set of criteria. Its not an oppressive box you're being forced into.

anon i am like half asleep right now so this isn't going to be a big deep dive like i typically do but

just gonna drop my long post about the word "lesbian" and how it didn't actually really ever mean exclusively wlw

gay is an umbrella term for a reason, lesbian was originally an umbrella term, i don't know why people think the queer community just popped out fully organized into little categories when throughout history a ton of it was just "do you not fit the norm? ok ur probably gonna get associated with [insert group here]." like our community wasn't formed out of wanting specific labels, it was about people who cast out from the rest of society making a place for themselves. gay wasn't forcibly changed to include everyone, it's been like that for a long time

a lot of butches have been going by he/him for decades, a lot of gay femmes have been going by she/her for just as long (like. drag queens? hello), and trans people are allowed to mess around with their gender presentation just as much as cis gay people

also people did keep making specific terms for their sexuality that suited their gender identity and then kept getting bullied for being "trenders making things up" or whatever

this ask kinda irks me out in a lot of ways but i'm going to just assume you have ok intentions. but mate you gotta realize there's a reason people might assume you're a t/erf

if you want my opinion on the general concept rather than specific details, i think labels and boxes are just optional tools. i think the focus on specific labels being separate from each other is part of the problem in the queer community bc like... bi wlw and lesbians really should not have to feel super separated when their experience is so similar. & also sexuality and gender are both fluid. if someone cares about their labels because it makes them happy, so be it! respect! i want that for them, i wish every happy little gender euphoria moment and sense of belonging to them!! but i genuinely wish we'd stop treating every label like it's a pass to a certain club, or like it's a fucking hogwarts house we're taking a quiz on. the queer community has so many wonderful things, but we need to remember that it's not always a party, it's a pack of people sticking together to try and keep ourselves safe. the idea of every queer experience being "wholly different" based off labels our oppressors really don't care about is stupid to me

[tussive]

I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and some of them are touchy and I know many of my followers are trans.  I've never really spoken about most of this publicly, but I was just discussing this type of thing with @fresholivesfromtheolivebar and I thought having a place to organize my thoughts and get them out in a hopefully not too rambly/weird and mostly cohesive post.

I used to identify agender/non-binary for a period of time.  I've never identified as "male."  I don't understand men.  I don't get men.  They talk to me and it's like their way of thinking is completely foreign to me.  That isn't to say I'm not male.  I am very much male.  I was raised male.  I am seen as male.  I have been conditioned as  a male (possibly a faggy male lol) my entire life, including now, and that undoubtably affects how I perceive life and shapes my personality.  I've always mostly had women as friends, male friends generally I lost interest in talking to quickly, and I don't typically udnerstand their line of thinking/reasoning to begin with.

That's Colette quote sums it up really well for me.  "“I have nothing to say to men and never had.  Judging from the little time I’ve spent with them, their usual conversation is sickening.  Besides, they bore me.  I believe,” he hesitated, then concluded, “I believe I don’t understand men.”"

I have several male internet friends, but none who I'm especially close to.  We all go months without talking sometimes, but I do enjoy speaking  with them over shared interests.  William is the exception, but we have discussed these things at lengths and he feels almost (or maybe entirely) the same way as I do.  He doesn't really consider himsself "male" either.

I didn't like agender or non-binary or genderfluid or any of that, because I feel like they carry their own impressions that I didn't feel fit me.  When I was younger, I experienced a great deal of gender dysphoria.  I wanted to be born a girl.  Probably because I always got along better with the other girls school.  I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and her female friends.  My step-grandfather was in my life heavily and I loved him dearly, but I never connected with him on the same level I did with my grandmother.

I thought I may be trans when I was younger.  I looked into things, explored options, spoke with trans women and many of them were very pushy about transitioning.  I was under 18 at the time and one person actually threatened me with calling CPS, lying and saying I was abused, so I could go live with another family and could "be who I really was."

That experience put me off becoming trans a lot, if I'm being totally honest.  But also around that time I was questioning gender roles to to begin with.  Why are certain traits, behaviors and interests considered "female" and others are considered "male."  It didn't make sense to me.  So I just said fuck you to gender roles and started doing whatever I wanted and my gender dysphoria went away.  I still have aspects of my body I don't like and wish were different, but I think that's literally every human.  Mine may be based around my sex to a degree and wishing I looked more feminine, but the core of the problem is the same.

I went by  non-binary/agender for a while, but I didn't really love those because I felt like they came with their own implications, so I stil just called myself a male and would say like "male, kind of" or something when someone asked lol.  I generally say I'm straight, but I do find males to be sexually attractive, but I've never met a man who I was able to connect with emotionally on any level even close to resembling romantic attraction.  William is my only close male friend and I love him like a brother, not someone I want to put my dick into.  I know going by like "newer" more specific terms, I'd probably be like "agender/non-binary demisexual heteroromantic."  But I just feel like that is dumb.  I don't think a label needs to perfectly describe you, just give people a rough idea, personally.    

And like, I love trans people.  Let me say here, I do not view any issue with trans people and if they feel transitioning is their best shot at happiness, they should go that.  I am 100% believe in full bodily autonomy, you should be allowed to do anything with it that doesn't hurt someone.  I do think a minority of people have taken things with it too far and have started trying to "cancel" anyone who doesn't perfectly all in line with their idealogy, but the majority of trans people I've meant online and in person are not that, they just want to be happy in their own body.

That being sad, I do think a lot of "TERF" arguments are valid.  I think having spaces specifically for AFAB people is a good thing.  Being born male or female and raised and conditioned that way within a society WILL affect who you are as an adult, even if you were trans then and just didn't really realize it yet.  I like the "3rd gender neutral" bathroom idea, but I think it should go a step further.  Eliminate all multi stall bathrooms.  Every bathroom should be a single bathroom that anyone can use, regardless of sex or gender identity.

That all said, I view trans women as women.  And the above points aren't really fair to them,* I agree totally.  Like that is genuinely so shitty and my heart breaks for trans people who suffer through as much as they do.  It's not fair that it happens.  (Unfortunately a lot of things aren't fair.  Which doesn't mean "SUCK IT UP PUMPKIN" it just means shit is going to suck a lot and learning to roll with it is the best way to have any kind of peace of mind imo.  But I fully empathize.  I am no familiar with gender dysphoria.  And I still wish I was born female.

I just don't think transitioning is right for me because there's NOTHING that stops me from doing whatever I wanna do, wearing whatever I wanna wear, talking how I want to talk, etc as a male that I wouldn't be able to do.  So it doesn't matter all that much.  If other people want to transition, I fully support them and I think it should be easier for people to do so.

I love trans people, not to pull the "I even have some [x] friends!" card but basically every person I talk to regularly is a woman or trans/nb/queen/etc.  I do what I can to support them whenever I can.

I know some of what I said here probably comes across TERF-y, or whatever the male equivalent of that would be.  I don't claim that term, but I've been called it by random trans people online like hundreds of times.

If you feel like I'm a TERF or hate trans people or don't respect you or what you go through, by all means block/unfollow/message me to d iscuss it further.  If you unfollow, I get it, you won't offend me or anything.  Most of this is just me working out/posting my gender identity again because I feel good about it now really.  The trans stuff is just like there to try to add context of why I don't call myself trans.

(Kinda sidenote: honestly I've been calling myself "queer" more and more.  It's vague and doesn't give any specific impression other than "not cis opposite attracted person" and I think that's a good way to describe myself lol.)

Sorry this is long, sorry if this is confusing, I didn't proofread at all and sorry if this upsets you.  I'm happy to talk with you if you are upset about anything or if you just want nothing to do with someone like me, that's totally fine!

Anyway, if you read all of this, I tank you.  I know it's way too long but I just had some thoughts and feelings I felt relevant to things today and wanted to get  them out.

Love you. <3 Marcus

[spaceminxx]

I'm not a lesbian myself so I am confused about the concept of bi/pan lesbians. I am 100% not saying this in a rude way, just in a very genuine I need to be educated way. From my knowledge a lesbian is someone who identifies as a woman being attracted to other people who identify as women. So I am confused where the multiple genders part comes into that. For example my partner is non binary but would never want a same sex partner to refer to themselves as exclusively same gender attracted since that would invalidate their identify. And I completely understand that. I am just confused how it isn't just pan or bi and where the exclusively same gender attracted label comes into it if that person is attracted to multiple genders? Again I promise I'm not trying to be funny, I just genuinely don't know

Hey anon! You’re honestly correct, the argument used for Bi/pan lesbians is incredibly harmful to bi women and lesbians alike. The argument is usually either “Lesbian is an umbrella term” which was only true in the early stages of the community before bisexual women and lesbians realised that although our experiences are similar, the distinction between our sexualities is important. Hence the separation of labels, bi/lesbians are also erasing the work that bisexual women put into separating those communities and building our own identity. The other argument I usually hear is that “it includes NB genders” although you can be any acronym in LGBT and still have attraction to and date nonbinary people. Hell straight and cis people can date NB people and still be straight and cis. From what I’ve seen this comes from the SAM model which I’m personally not a fan of, but people who ID as part of it are also speaking out against this label because of the harm it’s doing. The word lesbian has evolved over time to mean “exclusive attraction to women”

You don’t need educating, the label is biphobic and lesbophobic, the bottom line is if you’re dating and romantically interested in men and are actively dating them... then you aren’t lesbian in any aspect. And there’s nothing wrong with that! But perpetuating the bi/lesbian label is incredibly harmful to wlw in general, aiding in internalised biphobia and perpetuating the misuse of the lesbian label. Hope this helps, I’m assuming you wrote this under the guise that I supported the label but I thought I would let you know nonetheless. Here’s a carrd that might help you, it includes pansexuality but that’s the same thing as bisexuality so you get the point.

[freckliedan]

(for context, i made a post asking if this anon would b comfy telling me if she was a part of the lgbt community because i would be able to answer more quickly & with more nuance if i knew! my response would’ve been very different for the first ask if it had come from a cis/het person)

hi b!!!!!!!! ty so much for sending me this ask! this is a conversation i’ve had with friends a number of times & i think it’s really good to talk about so i’m really glad to have the chance to talk about it on my blog!

(under the cut because this got long)

i really feel you on this entire situation, tbh- i really hate to assume people’s sexualities, especially people who i don't actually know, bc doing that enforces gender roles & stereotypes so much of the time. especially when it's straight people doing the assuming? like, straight people talking about having good "gaydar" for me feels like them talking about being good at stereotyping people based on mannerisms etc and it makes me so fucking uncomfortable!

i'm 100% of the opinion that unless someone has the agency in telling people they're lgbt (like, they get to come out on their own terms, or they're so comfortably out that you'd maybe hear them referred to with pronouns besides he/she or hear about a same-gender partner when hearing about them in conversation)? nobody should be making a definitive assumption or trying to find proof or support of any perspective on their sexuality. people should get to be as closeted or as out as they're comfortable being, bc more than anything all lgbt people deserve to feel safe.

that said? i feel like lgbt ppl have actual "gaydar" but that it's not the same thing straight people say "gaydar" is. i think that for lgbt people, it has as much to do with being able to identify homophobic or transphobic straight or cis people (bc there are transphobic lgb folx, why do people. DO that) and being able to identify what straight/cis people are safe to be around as it does being able to find other lgbt people. it's more of a survival mechanism than a way of identifying people who are different, the way it functions for straight people.

so like? idk. over the past few years my concept of whether it's okay to speculate about a celebrity's sexuality has shifted a little? when i was in high school & recently out of it, i was more firmly against the idea that someone could tell if xyz celebrity wasn't straight, and super firmly believed that the only way you could know was if they said as much in words.

so what changed?

i experienced the world more, and i've learned so much about the lgbt community and about myself.

one of the big turning points for me was kristen stewart; i was never a super huge fan of hers, but i saw posts fairly often speculating that she and alicia cargile were together. not posts by like, news outlets or anything, posts by other wlw who were saying 'i see the way that kstew is dressing and acting and what she & alicia cargile are sharing of their relationship with the public and news articles keep calling them live-in gal-pals etc but that's exactly how i dress and behave and how my relationship with my girlfriend looks and how people treat our relationship when they're refusing to acknowledge the fact that we're lgbt."

also at the time i started seeing a lot of posts that were saying that the speculation was shitty, and for a hot minute i felt awful for seeing and reblogging posts & hoping/believing that they were girlfriends. the next wave of discourse tho was about how it was okay to speculate and hope if you were just an individual who was also lgbt, and how it was only shitty when it was invasive paparazzi and tabloids who had a platform that could actually disrupt her life and put pressure on her to come out. it was about power; one lesbian or bi or pan girl who was hoping a celebrity they looked up to was like them vs a business that doesn't have any investment in this besides to gain money/readership off of a celebrity's potential identity that had every right to keep their silence and privacy? it's two entirely different things.

i also went back to college in 2016, and realized that like. yeah it's shitty when straight people stereotype and assume things about people, but a lot of lgbt people don't want to be perceived as straight and intentionally dress and behave in ways that signal the fact that the're lgbt. i'm not a scholar on any of this; this is all from my lived experience. but i think it might be called flagging? i've seen the word a few times & just googled it & it seems right, even though i haven't read any of the articles for sure.

essentially it's a way of signaling to other lgbt people "hey i'm here and i'm also lgbt" without really having to disclose that info to all the straight people around you as well. and like, heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, you know? a lot of straight people are almost unwilling to pick up on the signals that someone's lgbt.

an example i can think of is like, lgbt people using non-gendered terms to refer to their significant other or any exes around straight people; it's not lying, and it leaves the opportunity for any other lgbt people present to maybe connect with the person who's doing the pronouns dance at a later point in time in a one on one setting.

another example would be like, butch and gender nonconforming wlw making their identity clear in the way they dress and behave? the song ring of keys from the musical fun home is about a young girl seeing a butch lesbian for the first time and going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even without having the words. it's lgbt people broadcasting their identity for other lgbt people, not for straight people. it doesn't get seen or talked about as much because of that, but that doesn't make it any less real.

so how does this relate back to dnp?

i'm firmly of the opinion that the're like, doing this. they're living their lives without the complete self-censorship they used to have and because of that openness a lot of lgbt ppl see them, we see the ways in which dan and phil are quietly sharing the fact that they're not straight with us, and i think it's okay to accept that for what it is.

like? i genuinely am willing to argue that dan came out in his diss track. you look at that, and you look at him talk about labels in a liveshow (this video genuinely helped me a lot while i was going through the process of finding the right labels for myself) and you look at all of trying to live my truth or the fact that in dan's rebranding video part of the old branding that was going up in flames was gender rolls (i still have a screenshot of that on my phone). it's also in the countless ways he alludes to being attracted to men, and the ways he rejects a lot of the tenants of masculinity that society prescribes in the ways he dresses and presents himself to the world; that's not an inherently lgbt thing to do, but i think it's true that a majority of lgbt ppl experience gender more consciously than straight people do.​

i'm not going to lie and say i'm aware of as many specific details in regards to phil that indicate his sexuality-i do know less off the top of my head, but not because i don't love phil, just because dan means more to me personally in regards to my queerness and the ways i navigate my identities. phil also tends to share way less of himself with the internet than dan does? like, we know a lot of specifics about who dan is and who dan has been but despite knowing a lot of fluff about phil, we know less substantial information and that's super fucking valid and i love his double aquarius sagittarius rising enigmatic ass exactly as is. and i know i have things in my he likes boys tag about both of them, including (i think) at least one masterpost about phil.

which like, doesn't even bring us to the fact that i'm so sure they're together, too? it's not even like. things like the vd*y v*d, though that was still findable on tumblr when i joined the phandom in 2012.

i'm sure because i can look at dan and phil in the present, and the ways in which they function in eachother's lives, and the things they've said about their future together-the concept of a forever home, of getting a dog together,  the way that when either of them talks about a very old version of themself they talk about having kids & when you combine that with the idea of a forever home you kind of are left with only one implication- i look at all of those things and the ways they compare to my life, as a queer person in a long term committed relationship. and i know. i’m sure about them.

and i could go on. the thing that really gets me is how dan and phil, by all intents and purposes, hit all three sides of sternberg's triangle in his triangular theory of love; they've got the commitment of a shared life and they've talked about their shared future, they've got the intimacy of knowing and supporting each other for nine years and the close knowledge they have of each other is so great in volume that it's been the focus of what, two videos (the friendship test ones) and (spoilers, minorly) a section of ii? and in the way they look at each other, and in a lot of implications we've picked up on over the years, the passion is there, too.

they've fuckin got that good good consummate love, babeY.

they also constantly answer all of each other's bids, as per gottman's research/theories on successful relationships. i'm not gonna get too far into that, but it's what my like a sunflower tag is for.

and gosh, i've gotten rather off topic again. my apologies, b.

i guess the point is that like. as a queer person in a long term relationship, it's really easy for me to look at dan and phil and be sure that they're together. and i don't feel bad, anymore, thinking about that and speculating about it; i think it's ok for lgbt individuals to hope that the people they look up to are like them, and to talk about that hope.

and it would be nice, if dan and phil came out someday. stressful because of the fan reaction, i'm expecting a full meltdown if/when it happens (i'm leaning towards when, i think they want to get married someday).

but for me, i'm already sure. they've already given us so much and they don't owe us anything, we aren't entitled to them disclosing their identities, but i think they've already told us in subtle ways, a hundred times over. so my conscience is clear and my heart is sure, b. i hope yours can be too.

[bespectacledbellman]

Goodbye Greens: Why I Have Left The Green Party

I haven’t always believed in progressive politics. When I was in my early teens I was a little Communist short and stout, here’s my hammer here’s my sickle, comrade. I believed everyone should be paid the same for their work and everyone can have a decent quality of life. That was great until I realised that no matter how hard I did at school I’d end up with the same fate as those who put no effort in. That wasn’t going to work.

So, I deviated further and further right until I was embracing something close to Fascism. Yes, some people are superior, I thought. After all, someone who spends their time learning and bettering themselves deserves to earn more, deserves to have more rights, deserves to have a greater say in how the country works. Again, this logic was fine until I realised that modern society can only exist if people aren’t superior to one another. We need non-academic people happy to work in our shops, farm our land, fix our cars to keep the doctors and teachers and writers and philosophers and artists going. Academia doesn’t equate with capability.

I therefore managed to find my political worldview crushed between these two illogical tenets. What this resulted in was a pragmatic left-liberalism with a few traces of quasi-Fascism. Wondering how to square this circle I endeavoured to approach each political party at my own pace. I found that Labour and the Liberal Democrats could cater to the heart, but their sometimes pie-in-the-sky thinking coupled with the anti-Blairite counterrevolution concludd with senseless policy – if, indeed, policy was ever forthcoming. On the other hand, the Conservatives seemed to be fighting for the centre ground I called home: an economic policy that was, sometimes, unfair and unflinching, but otherwise their policies fostered progressive social reforms. Cameron’s mob would neither give to the poor nor steal from the rich, but what Robin Hood’s merry men did in their own time was no concern of theirs.

I’m not saying that their approach was successful, but four years on I wonder what the UK would look like if Cameron’s planned decade-long ministry would have culminated in.

Politically homeless, therefore, I started to judge the fringes. The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was always a laugh, but unelectable. Independents were fine too, but only at constituency level. But when I read the Green Party manifesto a couple of years ago I was enraptured. The manifesto spoke to me. Save the planet. Tick. Social reforms for equality. Tick. Universal basic income. Tick.

Nuclear disarmament? Once upon a time I was opposed to this. Who throws away their shield, I mused, when someone was pointing an arrow at your head? Of course, this metaphor is completely wrong. It should be why am I standing here holding a Molotov cocktail on the off-chance that someone throws their Molotov cocktail at me? I will still be on fire no matter whether I have one of my own or not. It’s basically revenge, wrapped in the camouflaged garb of national security. Pointless. The Greens want to abolish nuclear weapons. Tick.

Sticking to my personal policy that whenever I found a party that suited me down to the core I would support them, I became a member of the Green Party. Through financial and moral support, I argued their case to friends and family and did what I could do highlight key social and economic issues that the Greens could work to resolve. I even wore t-shirts and buttons to advocate their cause in public.

And it was sunshine and roses, pretty much, until this year they started to be, well, silly, with a few minor incidents and one big one: capitalising on the chaos in America, the Greens came out for slavery reparations.

I just think this is the wrong answer. I also believe it’s insulting to simply pay people off for the suffering caused to slaves. I also felt that the logic behind compensation for past immorality was a slippery slope: where is the line drawn? What about Ireland during the Potato Famine? India? Africa? Look at the chaos caused in China by imperialism. Drawn to its inevitable conclusion, historical compensation would bankrupt the Earth.

It was also not going to do anything to solve modern racism. Say a Green government gives a stipend to people who can prove their ancestors were slaves. I can’t say for certain, but I’d guess that large category would include at least one white millionaire. Eight generations of breeding will diversify the ultimate, current generation – as it should. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel it’s right for a government to pay someone compensation for hardships that they may never have suffered. And for those many people who have suffered hardships, a payout isn’t justice.

As I bleat on about like a noisy sheep from dawn til dusk, education is the way we move forward. Educate our children on race and the importance of loving and respecting one another. Obviously, this is a dream, because we all know people whom we neither love nor respect – but at least teach that there are so many genuine reasons for hating people that race needn’t be a contender. Hate someone for being a bully, a snob, cruel, violent, criminal. Each of those adjectives has been attached to people of every different creed and colour through history. Why compound these valid reasons?

Take all of the money earmarked for reparations and pump it into schools. Give the UK a world-class (or world-beating, which appears to be the term in vogue nowadays) education system that teaches moral and social values, and not just the order of Henry VIII’s unfortunate spouses.

It is, in my view, a cheap ploy to capitalise on what was going on around the world in support of Black communities, to make the Green Party look like the progressive party, when in fact it looks more like throwing money at the problem and hoping it goes away. This isn’t the medieval Church, we can’t buy indulgences from our national sins. Only through repentance – education – can we be absolved.

Add to that the other cringe-worthy events that I saw manifest over the Green Party’s own social media page: notably, heralding a local councillor as a champion of his community for standing up for residents, even though he actually hadn’t any idea what he was doing and jeopardised their appeals by ignoring due process. The recent election, where as a member you vote on important roles, including roles for each individual group, but you can only vote for representatives of groups you belong to. Sounds a lot like segregation to me. As a member I should be allowed to vote for the person responsible for LGBTQ+ rights, BAME rights, migrant rights. You do not segregate policy based on membership. A white straight cis man should have the same rights as a Black lesbian trans woman. (If you disagree, read the sentence the other way around and then you will.) As a taxpayer, any decision made on, for instance, women’s rights, will affect me. If the Green Party advocated sanitary products on the NHS, I am fine with that, but as I pay money for the NHS, I should be allowed to choose who comes up with that policy. It’s short-sighted to segregate policy in this way – not that I was surprised, I’d learned that short-sighted policy was our forte.

Instead of focusing on key policies that would help the country: economic policy, ecological policy, foreign policy – all grounded in a realistic view of the world – I instead was swept up in a vortex of one-dimensional thought. Yes, if you’re unhappy with the UK selling weapons to Saudi Arabia that’s fine, but don’t start a discussion about it without mentioning the consequences of the UK not doing that. Do you think China or Russia will wield the same moral pressure on the Saudi government when they inevitably fill the gap left by the UK? A more sensible, multi-faceted policy would be to use all profits from arms sales to fund refugees and migrants from conflicts. Russia would spend its profits on ivory backscratchers.

With all this, I felt forced to leave these daydreamers and return to my pursuit of a party of pragmatic progressivism. The Green Party will never become a government or have influence with policies like these. The best policies come from heart and mind. No party really provides this, and perhaps that’s what’s wrong with modern politics. There is no haven for those in the middle who want equal rights for all but a partial repeal of human rights agreements. There is no base for those who want an enlightened justice system based on forgiveness and rehabilitation, but also desire the return of the death penalty. It may seem that these things are contradictory, but they’re not: they are practical when delivered appropriately. And if you were to sit down with someone and delve into one topic for long enough, you’d find this cognitive dissonance lies within probably all of us at some level. We all sit in the middle of the political spectrum and although we’d always like to do the right thing for the right reasons, most of us acknowledge that we sometimes have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons. We must be pragmatic in our daily lives and we must be pragmatic in our politics.

The Green Party has the progressivism, but not the pragmatism; the ideals, but not the logic; it has my heart, but not my mind. It has my sympathy, but not my vote.

[moxymoron]

Let me spill some honesty on y’alls dash today.

“Just because you don’t suffer, doesn’t mean you’re invalid!” Like, yes the fuck it does. Apply that mentality to any other disorder. Take OCD for that example. I suffer from OCD. A disorder. It impacts my life negatively, rendering it to be real via diagnosis. I suffer from dysphoria. A disorder. It impacts my life negatively, rendering it to be real via diagnosis. You get diagnosed, you get treatment. Treatment for dysphoria is transitioning. Treatment for OCD is therapy. It’s all on a medical standpoint. You can’t be trans without dysphoria because the whole point in transitioning is to treat your dysphoria. Dysphoria and OCD are both medical disorders. While discomfort from either one doesn’t impact me daily, they still cause me loads of trouble. Being transgender comes with dysphoria. Calling yourself transgender without having dysphoria is equal to self-diagnosing (Which is NEVER okay). Self diagnosing makes doctors suspicious of people who genuinely have issues, making treatment harder and harder to receive.

“I’m valid because I like pronouns that don’t fit my assigned gender at birth!” That means you like the appeal of a word/name/label. I like other people’s names and shit too but you don’t see me using it for the fuck of it. 

“I’m trans but I don’t wanna be on hormones or dress outside of my birth gender.” This is contradictory. To transition, you alter yourself by HRT or changing your clothing style to suit your gender. Trans means transgender. Transgender means transitioning to another gender. You cannot transition without changing yourself outside of your pronouns/name. 

“Every trans person transitions differently!” I absolutely agree! Some trans men grow out their facial hair and some don’t. Some trans women dress very feminine and others dress more butch. ‘Transitioning differently’ doesn’t include solely changing your name/pronouns. While a change in name and pronouns are an important step in transition, you can’t select to do just those actions and proceed to call yourself transgender. 

“Dysphoria is just a concept!” Please PLEASE do not say this. As explained previously, gender dysphoria is a medical disorder. It can cause depression, anxiety, mood swings, and many more mental health issues. Mental health issues are not a concept. Before I started testosterone, I suffered from severe depression. Testosterone allowed my mental health to drastically improve with very rare sights of depression. HRT can cause changes in your mental state and even could change your sexuality (Eg. I used to be pansexual. Through the power of HRT and proper education, I’m now gay.) If you’re non-dysphoric and you attempt to begin HRT, you WILL get dysphoria and a decline in mental health! This is because the body responds negatively to anything that doesn’t belong in it. My body positively handles testosterone because it’s right for me! I am male, my body knows it. Your body knows what it needs and what it doesn’t. It’s part of having a brain. If the thought of HRT makes your body uncomfortable, you are not transgender.

“I’ll lie to my doctor and be on hormones for a few months to get just a few changes, then.” Let me say it loud and clear. Do not. You can’t pick and choose what symptoms you’ll get from hormone therapy. Hormones will change everyone’s body at a different pace and in a different way. I don’t know why I need to explain this because you’ve all gone through puberty. All of your friends’ bodies changed differently during puberty. Hormones are like a second puberty. Not to mention that some of the effects of HRT are irreversible no matter if/when you decide to stop. Alterations like bone structure changes, genital changes, and facial hair increase/decrease are most often permanent. You can’t go on hormones “for a bit” just to lower your voice a tiny bit because there’s so many other symptoms you’ll get that can’t be reverted. Also, never lie to a medical professional just to get something you want and don’t really need. It makes medicine for people with REAL issues difficult to receive. Prices also go up based on demand. So you’re costing real trans people more money and you’re making their treatment ridiculously difficult to get.

“I don’t have to dress according to my pronouns!” Okay then. Fake having he/him pronouns and get misgendered on a constant. I’m sure you’ll complain about it later, saying some utter crap like, “Ugh! Why don’t people see me as a boy? I have male pronouns!” If you get clocked, you get clocked. If you don’t want to be clocked/misgendered, then put more effort into looking like your desired gender. This is not to say that men can’t dress fem or that women can’t dress masc. There’s a bold difference between the two points. Take male makeup gurus for example. While they apply makeup, they’re still men because they sound like men. They look like men. They’re obviously men. Having male pronouns, having a high voice, dressing in skirts, wearing makeup, not binding, and wearing crop tops will make people see you as female. Sounding and appearing as female will make people see you as female. They’re not bigots for it. As my grandmother would say, “Shit or get off the pot.” In this context, be genuinely trans or stop faking it.

“This post is gatekeeping!” If addressing these issues in defense of the actual trans community makes me a gatekeeper, then so be it sweetheart. Trans people are sick and fucking tired of being looked down upon due to people who use MOGAI identities and neopronouns. It makes us look insane and that’s why we get made fun of. I want to be seen as an equal by cis men. I don’t need their validation. I don’t need anyone’s validation. I’m cool as fuck. I can’t tell y’all how often I make male friends online, only to have them be surprised that I’m not one of the cringy ones. People have deadass said that to me. I’m just a dude. A guy being a dude, if you will. A man. And I will be damned if the rest of the trans community continues to get shit on because of these fake trans people. We are real. We will be respected and taken seriously. And together we will put an end to the bullshit stigmas.