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#and I don’t even know if that’s a joke or not but that’s the level of ff.net bullshit we’re on let’s fucckin goooooo
thecuriousquest · 5 hours
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oral fixation with yandere yuuji? 🫣
Sloppy Girl
Yan!Yuji Itadori x Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFW, light yandere themes, oral sex (male receiving), 18+ characters, isolation implied, ass groping, light spanking
Master List
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You were smacking away at your gum as you sat in Yuji’s room with him, reading some book Gojo gave you to help you learn more about Jujutsu Sorcery. It was…irritating to say the least. Yuji could barely handle listening to you smack your lips every time you were huffy and puffy about something. This is just a whole new level of annoying.
But he likes you, really likes you. So much so that he keeps you away from Megumi, Todo, and every one else he deems a threat. He even has you study with him in his room or read manga just so that he can get some extra time alone with you.
But the constant smacking is driving him insane. He’s good at picking up on the small things, seeing what you’re interested in, what your habits are, your dislikes, what pisses you off, and what makes you giggle so adorably.
And he now realizes that he’s never once seen you not chewing gum or sucking on candy. You don’t smoke, thankfully. He would’ve had to figure out a way to get you to stop, and that wouldn’t have been easy.
The most sensible thing to do now though is…and he does this…he reaches over and claps his big, meaty paw over your mouth.
You can’t help but look at him with wide eyes as you stare at him with utter confusion. You try to say his name, but it comes out muffled and distorted behind his palm.
“Can you stop smacking your gum?”
It’s so blatant, so blunt. You honestly didn’t even realize you were doing it. It’s just a habit by now. You nod to appease him, to get him to remove his hand, and when he does, you sheepishly throw your gum away just to keep from accidentally annoying him again.
As you go back to reading your book, Yuji settles back down on the floor next to you and starts reading his manga when he sees you lift your hand to your mouth a few minutes later. He watches as you chew on the tip of your index fingernail. Biting, biting, the clicking of your nail against your teeth.
“Do you always have to have something in your mouth?” It’s not meant to be mean. He asks it genuinely. He really just doesn’t understand it. The candy, the gum, now the nail biting?
“Huh? Is that supposed to be a dirty joke?”
The sudden realization of his and your words clicks, and a perverted smile forms on his face.
“Do you want it to be?”
His cock twitches at the idea of growing hard inside your mouth.
“Yuji…I don’t do that kind of stuff.”
“Hey, come on, don’t be shy. Does…sucking on stuff make you feel more comfortable?”
You can’t help but blush at the way he phrases his question. “I guess…I just…feel more at ease.”
“Why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got something you can put in your mouth!”
With one hand, he’s tugging his uniform trousers down. With the other, he puts a hand on the back of your head and guides your lips towards his thick and heavy erection.
“You gotta open wide, or it won’t go in. Come on. Just give it a little suck. I’m clean, and you might even like it.”
You don’t know why, but you trust him. He’s always proved himself to be a good and genuine guy. You part your lips before taking Yuji in your mouth all the way. The positioning is awkward with you and him on the floor, but he tries to help accommodate the situation by letting you lean and move around as much as you need to in order to get comfortable.
At first, he tries his hardest to let you go at your own pace. This was supposed to be for your comfort after all. However, he just can’t help himself. His hands find their way up to your hair, fisting your locks gently as he forces you to go faster. You end up taking him deeper down your throat than you’d like.
You splay your hands against his thighs as you gag on his cock, spit flooding your mouth, drool seeping out past your lips and down your chin.
Yuji gropes your ass and lets his head tilt to the side. He can’t help but spank you, loving your ass that he feels only he should have his hands all over. Loving the sound of palm to skin, he smacks you a few more times before going back to groping your pink cheeks.
“Fuck…you give sloppy head. Fucking knew I loved you for a reason.”
That causes your heart to skip a beat as he controls your pace. You breathe through your nose and hollow out your cheeks, taking his girth in stride as best you can given the little experience you have with these things.
You can’t stop thinking about it, though, as Yuji pumps your lips up and down his dick. Does he seriously love you? You didn’t even know. Were there signs? Has he ever dropped hints? You don’t remember him giving you any. Maybe, you just weren’t paying attention…?
You make a muffled noise as Yuji’s face screws up in twisted pleasure as he releases his come down your throat, petting your head and calling you a good girl for taking him so nicely.
Your lips pop off of his cock, and you sit there for a few moments in disbelief about the entire thing.
“So, did it help?”
You swallow the thick load, gulping and licking your lips as you look away from him.
“Uh…yeah…thanks.”
You don’t know why you said that because you just feel like an even bigger stupid slut now.
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Vessel of possibilities (part one)
Phantom is still new and learning about his element. He gets more than he bargained for while sick.
WC 1k
Includes - phantom has a cold, mention of dew burning a building down, but it’s all so fluffy.
No one's exactly sure why, but there's something about a ghoul getting sick, even something as minor as a common cold, that just makes their element go haywire, causing their powers to short-circuit and become volatile and hard to control. It's something of a rite of passage that each ghoul eventually goes through, and each one ends up with a story to tell.
It had been several months since Phantom was summoned, and he was settling in well topside. He was slowly learning all the things he needed to know and bonding with his new pack, who had quickly accepted him as their own. He just slotted in like a missing puzzle piece, a natural, effortless fit.
But now he was in his bed, dramatically telling anyone who came to check on him that he was most definitely dying, and they should all be saying their goodbyes (he could rival Dew and his drama queen levels). Aether had been at his bedside the whole time, assuring the sickly quint that it was just a cold, and it would pass in a few days; he just needed to rest up and drink plenty of water. Luckily, Mount was right there with all the soothing drinks and warm soups a ghoul could possibly need, and Lus had lent him her softest blanket, so at least he could die in comfort.
"Are you sure I'm not dying? Because I'm pretty sure this is how dying feels," Phantom whined quietly in a raspy voice. "I'm sure, Bug, it's just a cold. We all get them," Aether said reassuringly. "I know they’re not fun, and I'm sure you feel rotten, but it will just be a few days."
Phantom let out a small grunt; he wasn't convinced by Aether's words. He did feel rotten—his throat was itchy, his nose kept running, and the sneezing was beginning to feel like a cruel joke, each one making his whole body tense up and ache.
On the second day, during which Aether assured him it was 'the worst of it', he sat up to drink one of the many drinks that Mount had left on his bedside, hoping to ease the tickle building in the back of his throat. Unfortunately for him, the warm steam that wafted up from the cup only made the tickle worse, spreading from throat to nose, and he let out a sudden and violent sneeze.
Now the sneeze itself was bad enough; it was one of those particularly nasty ones that feels like you’re going to break a rib and your bladder might betray you, but poor Phantom's bad luck was about to get even worse.
At some point mid-sneeze, his quintessence had spiked, flaring up in a way out of his control, and a peculiar sensation washed over him. Before Aether could even react, he looked up to see Phantom, blinking in bewilderment, now sporting a pair of delicate bat wings, softly fluttering in the dimly lit room.
Aether let out a shocked gasp, barely believing his eyes, while at the same time Phantom's brain caught up to what just happened, and he let out a high-pitched scream. Aether dashed across the room, but in the split second it took for him to cross the room, the bat wings had receded, leaving a very confused Phantom muttering away to himself on his bed, his throat raw from the unexpected outcry. He stared at Aether with wide, pleading eyes, hoping he had an explanation for the utter weirdness that had just occurred.
Lucky for Phantom, Aether did have an explanation. He sat down on the bed next to the shaking and dumbfounded younger quint, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, trying to find the words to begin explaining what just happened.
"So, Bug, when ghouls get sick, it can sometimes mess with our element; we don’t really know why, but we’ve all experienced it. Dew burned his room down the first bad cold he got after the element change,"
Phantom's expression softened, and he let out a small laugh as Aether continued.
"I should have explained this to you earlier, Bug, but I guess now is as good a time as any. Quintessence is a strange element; it’s most commonly used to heal others, like Omega and I do in the infirmary, but basically, you can control most forms of organic matter, including your own."
Phantom tilted his head gently to the side, letting out a small sound of confusion. "My own? You mean like my body?"
"That's right, to put it simply, you have the ability to shapeshift. I suspect that's what happened when you sneezed, causing you to turn into a bat for a brief second. Does that make sense, Bug? I know it's a lot to take in."
The smaller ghoul nodded, thinking for a moment before his eyes suddenly lit up and he excitedly whispered, "Does that mean if I learn to control it, I… I could turn into a bat whenever I want?"
Aether let out a somewhat relieved chuckle, “Yeah, I guess so. It's not easy; shapeshifting takes a long time to master and is both physically and mentally exhausting, but yeah, you could, with a lot of practice, turn into a bat whenever you wanted, Bug."
For a brief instant, you wouldn't even guess that Phantom was still under the weather. His grin was broad, lighting up his face, his pupils dilated with excitement as he jittered slightly on the edge of the bed. Overcome with eager anticipation, he managed to stammer out just four words:
"Could you teach me?"

“of course bug. i’d love to. but first you have to get better. Now try and get some rest”

Phantom agreed, his excitement was starting to wear off, and he settled deeper into his blankets and pillows, his eyelids fluttering, growing heavier with fatigue. Aether adjusted the top blanket, tucking it gently under his chin before leaning down to give the almost asleep little ghoul a kiss on his still very warm, forehead.
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pochaccoups · 1 hour
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cw — reader is smaller than seungcheol, size kink, no smut but highly suggestive :3
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When you waddle out of your bedroom at five o’clock on the dot, you’re met with Seungcheol sprawled across the living room couch with his arms crossed, near-falling asleep as Solo Levelling plays on the TV screen.
He hasn’t spotted you yet so you tip-toe closer to him, gaze fixed upon his face, only to collapse on top of him when you reach the couch.
He gives a surprised yelp that has a laugh mixed in, his arms absentmindedly settling around your torso.
“Hi,” he says. “Done with work?”
“Mhm,” you tell him.
Seungcheol’s fingers begin to flutter and tickle at your sides, prompting you to squeal and squirm away from him. You’re straddling him now, grasping each of his wrists and pinning them to the couch.
“I’ll kill you,” you joke, glaring at him and his mischief-filled eyes. For a moment your stare wanders to his biceps and how thick they look next to his head and you have to gulp to stop yourself from drooling.
“You’d never,” he taunts.
“Watch m-”
But before you can finish, your back hits the pillowy couch with a soft thud as Seungcheol flips you upside down and settles on your waist. He’s whipped enough that he puts barely a fraction of his weight on you for fear of crushing you. Grinning like a fiend, his arms bulge as he mirrors your position from two seconds ago by pinning your wrists to the couch this time.
The size of his shoulders consumes you. It’s dizzying, your head spinning as your mind wanders and draws the same image of him, only he’s… panting, sweating, his eyes darkened with desire as you take everything he gives you—you feel like a pervert, but god, how can anyone blame you when your best friend looks like that?
Reality smacks you across the face and you’re squirming, unintentionally grinding your hips against his which only makes things so much worse.
When your legs start to kick out against his back, Seungcheol only doubles down on his grip, eyes flashing with something mischievous as he sits up and all of a sudden manhandles you onto your stomach in spite of how you thrash and squeal.
You hate that there’s a pulse between your legs. Humiliating.
“Cheol…” you whine. He’s got your arms pinned to your back with just one of his massive fucking hands. It’s not hard to imagine him driving into you like this with all of his weight, pushing your head into the pillows, chuckling at your shameless moans as you writhe in pleasure.
“Yeah?” he asks.
You’re hesitating the next moment, because something crosses your mind and it’s horrible, terrible, utterly shameless. If you can Seungcheol even a little off guard though, then it’ll be worth it.
“Can you put me in a chokehold?”
“You-what?!”
“Please? You have big arms and I wanna know what it’s like,” you tell him, though that’s definitely not the only reason.
Seungcheol laughs and it’s a mixture of a scoff and something more nervous. It makes you grin for some reason—the fact that you’ve got Choi Seungcheol flustered.
He leans forward, lets go of your wrists, and slowly snakes one of his arms around your neck. Your heart beats hard, pounds in your ears, and there’s something else beating too. Between your legs.
You don’t realise it when your breath catches in your throat, and it’s not from Seungcheol’s thick arm wrapping snugly around your neck. His bicep is hard, flexing when he brings his other hand up to grab the back of your head. You also don’t realise that you’ve sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, or that you’ve started to rub your thighs together.
He doesn’t press, not hard anyway, but you think he must be reading your mind because he’s putting just enough pressure to ignite your senses and light your skin on fire.
Then, his breath is warm on your ear as he asks you, “Like that?”
His voice is so deep that it reaches your guts and it takes everything in you not to moan.
“Yeah, just like that.”
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raccooncityriots · 3 months
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Honestly the people saying that they’re sorry to SEED fans because the movie feels like a teen drama fanfic is sending me, guys did you watch the series. I was expecting nothing less.
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bpdohwhatajoy · 4 months
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Great I’m attached to you. Now I will go from Kinda Normal Appearing Guy to an Eldritch Horror Creature before your very eyes
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if you’re in the rise fandom and see this:
go read “all the ashes in my wake” by @crows-murder right now.
(yes, that is an order, and yes, pun intended.)
this post serves as a fic rec, but mainly to let me gush about how much i love this fic without filling up the author’s inbox with a small dissertation (/joking).
for the fic rec part:
leo. cursed. ella enchanted type cursed.
if you have any interest at all in absolutely phenomenal angst, clever writing with a style that’s easy to follow and smooth as butter, on-point characterization and dynamics, and basically anything you could ever ask for of a rise fic,
go. read. this. fic. right. now.
(that said, i am now going to ramble about my specific thoughts concerning the fic and it’s plot, so. possible spoilers beyond this point?)
there have been a growing number of fics in this “sub-genre” of the rise fandom involving a character (generally leo) getting cursed, and then facing off against angsty odds that make you go, “oh. oh, shit.” (/positive)
these curses also tend to involve the phases of the moon in some way, which i think is a very fun and interesting trend
i’ve enjoyed all of the fics that i’ve read which fit into this, but this particular fic may be my favorite yet
it follows a simple formula, neatly tying the a plot (the curse stuff) and the b plot (leo’s conflict with leadership and the strain it’s putting on his relationships) into a neat little bow.
while the idea of leo getting “ella enchanted” is fun on its own, it’s doubly important to the plot and the characterization, as it forces him to have to fix one problem to address the other.
in the first chapter, the author constructs the roots to this, by contrasting leo’s wily, independent nature against the inevitable conflict that will stifle his attempts to act on it.
watching him brush his brothers off, make his own choices and go off on his own, builds this wonderful sense of tension. it hooks you — what’s going to happen when that string is cut?
it plays perfectly into the underlying conflict. leo needs to find a way to overcome his fears of leading the team, or else the rift between him and his team will only continue to widen.
so what does the narrative do? it forces him into a position where he is no longer gets to choose.
this incapacitation is a powerful tool, not only because of the external force of the curse, but also that it plays off of the weaknesses of his character.
this isn’t something that he can just handwave, or take care of on his own. it’s a situation where he needs to ask for help.
but this is leo we’re talking about. of course he isn’t going to go to his brothers about this, or even tell them! but by hiding it and trying to fix it himself, he ends up caught in a deadlock of his own making.
and since it doesn’t look like he’s going to get over himself very soon, it seems more likely that he’ll end up cornered in a very sticky situation indeed (something which i am very much looking forward to seeing, if that is the plan).
it’s genius! to fix his problems with the curse, he has to address his issues with his family first.
my attempts to sound smarter than i actually am aside (/lighthearted), i am so glad this fic is addressing the conflict between raph and leo. not only that, but in a way that feels true to their characters.
unlike other iterations of the tmnt, the roles here are reversed. it’s not the stolid abs responsible leader pitted against the broody loner who wants to be leader, but isn’t the right fit.
it’s rise!raph, who cares about his little brother and wants to support him, and rise!leo who, on some level, doubts his own ability in this new role on the team — to be anything more than “the face man.”
it’s not often where you come across a fic where the a plot and the b plot are equally engaging, but this is one of those rare cases where everything just works. it’s like i’m witnessing the first steps of some great machine, meticulously crafted, a hundred disparate parts working in tandem.
in the third chapter, the angst just works. the pay-off there feels so real, because you get it. you relate to this character. when raph is there, waiting up for him, you know shit’s about to go down. you can feel it.
if the necklace (and therefore the curse) acted as both a narrative device and catalyst, leo’s swords represent the other side of that: the last bit of freedom he has left in this godawful situation.
they’re the last bit of freedom, his only hope of escape. raph taking them (or, rather, leo being compelled to surrender them) has just glorious undertones in the narrative as a whole.
if you were to consider the katanas a representation of leo’s autonomy, it makes sense why him being forced to give them up hits that much harder.
not only is it a tense situation, where leo is fighting back but ultimately unable to overcome the curse, it cements this underlying feeling of helplessness the author has been seeding since the chapter previous.
now that we’re here, with both the a plot and b plot coming into direct confrontation with what leo wants, we recognize that leo cannot continue how he is.
sure, he’ll keep on fighting it (abs i am very much looking forward to seeing how that goes), but this is the point where we know, there is no escaping.
leo is now truly stuck. without his katanas, fubdibg the necklace to break the curse on his own is basically impossible.
and he recognizes this.
leo’s characterization throughout this fic has been some of the best in the business. he’s smart, witty, independent, calculating — probably one of, if not the best true-to-character representations of rise!leo thats i’ve seen so far.
(absolutely phenomenal job there, i cannot stress this point enough.)
in fact, all of the characters in this fic are so well-written? i’m already seeing roots for character development within casey sr. (which i am so here for, oh my gods you don’t even know), and you can’t help but be invested in all of these relationships
we’re constantly being reminded of the emotional conflict, how much of a strain it’s putting on the relationships, not just between raph and leo, but between all of them.
leo sees this, understands something has to change, but feels paralyzed by what that could mean. for him, and his family.
not to beat the metaphorical dead horse, but that scene after leo surrenders his katanas abs flees back to his room? damn. i felt that on a visceral level.
being so tired, so miserable, so helpless, when a part of you knows you’re being irrational, but having your own pride and fear get in the way of that?
not to project all over these characters or whatever, but fuck. it feels like this was written to call out me, specifically (/j /lh)
and urgh! the detail work in this is incredible!
maybe i’m just a slut for somewhat contrived narratives, and definitely contrived foreshadowing, but the way it’s done in this fic comes off as so clean and organized.
it’s like... weaving threads in a tapestry. you can see where the connect, though you’re not quite sure where they’re going, until you can step back abs look at the picture as a whole.
it genuinely feels masterful in some places, like, mother of god, leave some talent for the rest of us!! (/lighthearted)
i could probably keep talking about this forever, but i do have other responsibilities i should be taking care of, and i kind of want to reread the three chapters that are out (as of writing this) again.
who knows, maybe i’ll revisit this in the future, when i have a better basis and understanding of the underlying themes here.
for now, dear author (if you are, for some reason, reading this),i hope you don’t mind my pretentious and meandering thoughts and/or assumptions. you’ll probably see me again, gushing in your comment sections. yours is just the kind of fic that deserves to be gushed about.
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chellychuu · 5 months
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Current goal: become one of those artists who can consistently sell their adopts for $100+ 🥹
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frogcoded · 17 days
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I feel like my uni friends might be starting to catch up on the fact that I might be none of binary
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sacha-da-1 · 1 year
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One day things will come full-circle and the Valeyard will be doing a slutty obnoxious little dance for the Lumiat.
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deathxproof · 7 months
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Once more thinking about how Susan (“and what do you do?” “I eat”) Foreman probably learned about humans and how they work maybe like 5 years ago at best, and then suddenly being stranded on their planet and also immediately needing to learn not only how to irrevocably Be Human to anyone but this human husband she acquired, but also how to mother like. Fucking four little tiny baby infant humans at least.
And she does! She does so pretty well! She can even get over the fact that humans are scared little astroxenophobic assholes considering their main source of contact right now was an unending barrage of Daleks! It’s okay, because this is her life now, away from literally anyone else who’s ever known her her entire life, and even though she doesn’t have a choice she’s choosing all of this because it makes it better—
But she still likes that life— she likes that life a lot, so much so that she can ignore that eventually it’ll end, because Susan Foreman, not Arkytior, has built a nice little life for herself far away from any other Time Lords and anything they can touch. And it’s nice, but she’s also far away from any other Time Lords and anything they can touch, too. Until she’s Very Much Not and is thrust back into not only THE, HER two Time Lords, but one of them is directly responsible for her husband dying, and the other is inadvertently responsible for her son dying. But she has a TARDIS again now! Wow! And what perfect timing at that, considering her Grandfather is Gone again and the family she built is suddenly very much uneasy with the whole idea of, well, not their mom, but of Susan Foreman. She’s fully alien now, and that is harmful, that is toxic, that has gotten their dad and their youngest brother killed. And there are times she could go back to Gallifrey, but she’s lived off of Gallifrey for far longer than she ever lived underfoot of the planet. It’s not home. She barely even knows a handful of people there. She Cannot Catch A Fucking Break. She Cannot Keep A Home. She’s pretty convinced that if she tries to get too comfortable with anyone anywhere it will end horribly in some way or another. The fact that she’s held onto her TARDIS for so long makes Susan 4 & 5 wonder when it’s going to get ripped away from her too. It’s home, and you wouldn’t believe it based on the setup, but you can bet she won’t get comfortable.
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lieutenant-amuel · 5 months
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You know there is one chapter in WBTL that I’m really excited to write and I have so many dialogue ideas/random phrases I find so good, I just decided to write them down because I’m worried I’ll forget them by the moment I’ll get to actually write the chapter. And you know what? This chapter is already 600+ words long.
#Was Born To Lead#THERE IS NO FREAKING DESCRIPTIONS IT’S LITERALLY JUST DIALOGUE LINES#IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING PLAY FOR NOW#And yet it’s so long already#Is it my curse I don’t understand it#Or do I just like writing characters talk hmm#I’m kinda taking this advice of writing stuff out of order#but if we’re being honest I’m actually just writing down phrases that have absolutely captured my mind recently#I replay them literally every day for like a week now#I think this is actually going to be one of the most emotional chapters in the entire fic#and for me possibly THE most emotional because it’s Valerio-centric and it’s really important to me on a personal level :P#Why else do you think I would constantly replay all those dialogues in my head slowly losing my mind :’D#Anyway I HOPE it’s going to be emotional or else I will burst into tears#But yeah I’m once again convinced I do love writing dialogues#and I think I even know the reason why#They’re just a lot easier than descriptions ajhdnfjjf#and I love conveying characters’ different personalities through speech#(and I have a fabulous sense of humor yeah#I’m just joking)#Anyway if this chapter ends up being longer than 10k words I’ll probably ignore the limit I set to myself XD#Yeah I have no writing mood at the moment#so instead of writing anything I’m just rambling about what’s going to happen like 10 chapters later#Ajhdndjfk but I hope I’ll come back to the writing mood someday because this story really gets more exciting with every next chapter#(this emotional Valerio chapter is called in my docs Chapter ? (becuase I don’t know the number yet XD) | The Last Choice#maybe I’ll give it a different title eventually though)#This is the updated concept of the history of the history man chapter :D#Oh my goodness it’s SO different from my original idea and I love it so much more#This is really a lot more emotional than it used to be#I love this man so much…
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blorbosexterminator · 10 months
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"In the day time, I'm Andres, just a normal guy with a normal life, but there's something there is something that nobody knows, that I have a secret"
"It's Berlin-"
Perfect, anon! As long as we're watching Disney anyway.
#the whole berlin thing is so annoying#but what's more annoying to me personally is the gradual watering down of Pina's writing (at least regarding lcdp)#I know he's not writing prestige tv and I'm not saying only 'violent' writing is good#and it's not even particularly about Violence or the lack of it. vol 1 was the most violent and the worst writing of his I've seen lmfao#it got insanely stereotypical with his main characters losing their edge#Martín becoming a big no revenge softie in the span of one season#Bogotá becoming a twitter ally#whatever the fuck is happening to Berlin now lol#like compare all of this to the first part of lcdp which had this cold sharpness to it. genuinely uncomfortable scenes that left a bad taste#in your mouth even with no violence#and it was pretty balanced! it did have its fair share of heart and laughter and love and nice vibes#but it was sharp and the characters seemed very real and multidimensional and people seriously capable of harm#they were actual hardened criminals. which is the only thing that makes sense lol. '#naive characters like Rio who were in for the fun of it got the biggest reality slaps because doing crime on that level wasn’t a joke lol#and that's what gave the show actual tension#and made it fun to watch#now it has this disney element where I just can't believe any of them lmfao. sure we don’t know much but on the very least I don’t believe#Andrés. He's barely a character here. he's like the criminal version of ted lasso#which sure. a show like that could work fine on its own#but remember when the original network was negotiating with Pina on whether a character like Berlin was even appropriate for tv and#swallowable by audiences because how paradoxical and perverse he was?#now he's ladybug
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persephoneflouwers · 11 months
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mq-writes-ig · 1 year
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unlovable
tw- ed mindset?
who the fuck would love me though
in any way other than skin deep
other than from the surface
when you look too close
*poof*
there i go
unlovable
i don’t have anything about me that i like
there isn’t a single trait about me that i think is acceptable
i think i could be pretty if i was skinner
but that’s still only skin deep
there’s nothing about me that’s lovable
not when you get to my core
there is nothing there
i am unlovable. i mean it
-??
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totopopopo · 1 year
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Ladies it is not looking good on the family front
#the problematic family member isn’t even here but the drama… the drama his existence brings is here and very loud#I was gonna try and make a silly haha joke aboht it but no it just sucks#it just really sucks to. to find out? to confirm? to realize? to know that a man I loved and looked up to and cared about#that he doesn’t. idk. doesn’t respect me or. care about me or think that people like me deserve. idk. rights. safety. respect#it really really sucks.#it keeps happening and I’m not surprised but like I also am#I’m mad at myself for being surprised#and it doesn’t even matter bc it’s not like I’m even really out to my extended family#like for gender or sexuality#like I’m only ever a she her to them and I don’t think they know there’s a different gender going on.like#if they suspect it they don’t think about it#and my parents are aware on an intellectual level that I am not cis but they’re not really any deeper in then that#still sheher to them#and like. I don’t mind she her from ppl who know that it’s not indicative of womanhood but#that’s not true of my family#I kind of want to be theythem to them like make them face the fact that I’m not a girl make them face the fact that I’m something else#want them to look at it#that’s how I’ve always felt with extended family though not just w gender. I want them to look at me and see me challenging them#challenging things#maybe this is just another link in a long chain#I want to be theythemmed I want to be other#because the truth is I use multiple pronouns I like she I like he I don’t mind any pronouns at all but again#WITH the caveat that it’s KNOWN that that’s not all there is. that it’s something else. that I’m a girl AND a boy AND neither AND both#which is why generally for cis ppl I prefer theythem. to make them look at it. to make them conscious of it#and I’m starting to feel like. I want that applied to family too. extended family too. I want to be defiant.#but I also am tired and I don’t want. idk.#LIKE IT JUST SUCKS KNOWING THERES SOME ASSHOLE BIGOT WHO DOESNT#WHO LIKE. IDK. who I can’t be that to safely. who I can’t be that to because that would make me a threat. because I dont want him to hate me#at least not any more than he already does#I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired. this went in forty different directions but my brain is scattered right now and I’m tired. this is so much
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hellfireeddiemunson · 2 years
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I have to pack so badly but I Cannot get myself to do it I’m so overwhelmed holy fucking shit
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