#and I don’t feel close to my family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lokislittlesigyn · 8 months

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//personal, mental health

Depression hit me like a bat wrapped in barbed wire. Gosh I just want Loki.

#I could barely get out of bed this morning #it’s been this way for a few days #it’s #so exhausting #and I’m running out of time #and I don’t feel close to my family #and I think that’s my fault #who do I go to?#where do I go?#I just want to be held #I want to be held and told it’ll be okay #I don’t #have anyone #here #I don’t know #I really don’t know #maybe I do and I just don’t realize it #but nothing feels safe #I tried going to anyonymous chats and they all want personal info #I don’t feel safe doing that #and I can feel my brain slipping toward suicide again #isn’t that easier?#but I don’t want to die #I don’t want to #maybe I just want to be asleep #maybe I just want to fall asleep with someone next to me #holding their hand #maybe I want someone who I feel truly safe with #maybe I don’t like the life I’m living.#tw depression

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cordiallyfuturedwight · 9 months

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kim line boys with luv for @aprylynn (cr. 0613data)

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rooolt · 2 months

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have yet to stop thinking about the plane ride to Barcelona, aka the worlds most awkward plane ride in the world. Like who do we think sat together? Did Devon talk to any of them, like is she’s friends with any of the other teens? Did Eli and demetri drag other people into their drama, was demetri very obviously trying to avoid Eli, messing up the assumed plane seating arrangements? Was Robby brooding over his missing girlfriend and her dead mom the whole time? Were Daniel and Johnny still beefing or do we think they tried to save face for the kids? Is there any chance that Miguel and Sam were able to just have a nice time hanging out with each other on the flight or did they get dragged into everyone else’s drama? I’m so obsessed with the logistics of the Barcelona trip, not to mention the flight is like 11 hours long if it’s non-stop. it sounds like the trip from hell

#Like Devon is implied to be younger than them bc she’s always with Anthony and Kenny so like I don’t think she knows them that well #MAYBE Miguel from eagle fang days but I doubt they’re close and also he is closer to literally everyone else on that flight #Did she just awkwardly sit with Johnny like I know he loves her but it’s still sad #Also I beg the question (which may actually get answered) did Johnny and Daniel like bring their families??????#Like are Amanda and Carmen there? Is Anthony coming just to watch? That feels mean to him #If Anthony didn’t come then I doubt Amanda did which makes me doubt that pregnant Carmen did which then begs the question #Do lawrusso have to share a hotel room and hilarity ensues? To me? Yes #It’s just like I think there’s no way Miguel and Sam escape the binary boyfriends drama which is a shame bc they’re not fighting with anyon #They could have peace but alas #And then you know Robby is going through it #Oh my god it cracks me up so much I haven’t stopped thinking about it #cobra kai

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babybells123 · 5 months

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(ASOS, Sansa II)

(ASOS, Jon XII)

#jonsa #jon x sansa #sansa stark #jon snow #don’t tell me they mean nothing to each other when they have such glaring parallels #it’s the way no one else in the series has this exact dream to restore Winterfell and have a little starkling family #in the same book mind you !!#the way Robb is the missing piece to Sansa’s fantasy <33 #and Jon and Sansa don’t mention each other because they’ll be parents #oh the feelings I have #sometimes there was even a girl who looked like arya #and arya is known to resemble Jon really closely #implying that Sansa wants to marry someone of the north with stark features #which makes so much sense for her character arc to BE with someone born and raised in the north #not another random lord to exploit her claim and power #see this is why I wrote a 40 paged meta analysis and compiled it into a PowerPoint #and then presented it to my mother thus converting her into a Jonsa truther #WITHOUT OBJECTION #on a side note I find it so interesting when you talk to someone who’s neutral on ships and is willing to listen to whatever theory #as objectively possible #because as soon as I pointed all the evidence out to my mum she was like woahhh you’re smart analysis and you’re so correct

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valeovalairs · 1 month

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You can pry girl dad Mark Winters out of my cold dead hands.

#Okay hear me out he was one and he would be still if whatever happened to mama winters didn’t happen they were a super close family he was a #girl dad and then tragedy. And things were difficult for him and then obviously he became a villain. So he and Ashe are more distant now an #their relationship is more strained but at the end of the day he loves Ashe so much and would do anything for her as long as she got to be #safe and happy. He’s a villain but he’s letting her hang out with the prime defenders because he knows they’re good for her! He became a #villain so he’d be able to support her. He loves her so much and he has an odd way of showing it but I’ve seen just how much this character #loves his child so much despite it all he’s not perfect no one is but he does everything he does so Ashe will be safe and secure and once a #girl dad always a girl dad he loves his trans daughter very much and he’s always supported her and he’s still a girl dad no matter what #I just have so many feelings about Mark Wavelength #I take back the thing I said about them saving bino instead of wavelength back I take it back so hard oh my god #jrwi #jrwi prime defenders #mark winters #wavelength #I JUST READ A FIC AND HE WAS SUCH A SHITTY DAD IN IT HES NOT HES A GIRL DAD WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH #I’m a Mark Winters defender and will always be one from now on #Mark wavelength I’m only on episode fifteen don’t do something heinous that makes me eat my words please I believe in you

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cometrose · 1 year

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sometimes i don’t like family hcs cause i think the relationship between the two characters is a little more fucked up that and i don’t think you’re giving it enough credit

“look they’re just like father and son!” and then i look and it’s two immortals with a messed up master servant dynamic where they would do anything for each other and slowly trying to overcome a relationship dynamic that is 1000s of years in the making

#LISTEN #xiao would do anything for zhongli and they both know this but zhongli would never ask him too and they both know THIS!#also i saw a post critizing zhongli for how he treated xiao like with the whole karma thing but that’s not his child #why are you mad at zhongli for being a bad dad to xiao when he’s not his father???#or i see posts where it’s implied zhongli pushed or forced xiao into fighting for him #but that’s not true either??#zhongli never forced xiao to do anything xiao does all of this because of his dedication to morax #zhongli let xiao suffer? WHEN??? WHERE #i’m not saying he’s perfect but damn did he fucking try #or that xiao states the yaksha’s were proud people who regardless of how their stories ended never wanted pity #newsflash idiot it was war they all fucking suffered look at all the adepti and you can still see they’re still fucked up a bit #anyway whatever i guess #zhongli #xiao #genshin impact #woman yells at wall more at 8 #i think looking at their relationship through a familial lens undermines all my favorite things about their relationship #like their wonky power imbalance and loyalty issues #or scara and nahida like people try to make her his new mom and i don’t like it lol #i think them as two oddballs in life becoming close companions and associates feels much better than making nahida his mom #people nowadays only know romantic or familial dynamics and often ignore a secret third thing which is literally every other type of bond #i don’t even hate the hc i just hate when you criticize or analyze these characters WITH A HEADCANON

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peachsukii · 2 months

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Might be a little radio silent today and tomorrow, but I'll be back soon. Gonna run off a queue & pop in and out. 💜

#i'll be okay...just not today #tw family death #it’s the day of the funeral and it’s been very difficult #I hate saying I’ve dealt with this since I was a child in my family #but it’s my husband’s grandmother who we were close with #I'm trying to distract myself the best I can and be there for him and make time for my own feelings too #but it’s shitty. the whole thing is #it wasn’t surprising but watching her slowly fade away hurt more than I imagined it would #i keep trying to tell myself i'm fine. that i can keep it together #my first funeral as a child was traumatic cause i didn't understand it and then it...just kept happening to our family #and her (my aunt) anniversary is in September #22 years and it still haunts me in the most bizarre yet beautiful ways #I’m rambling now. I know things get better and it just becomes something you deal with #it doesn’t mean it’s easy #my heart goes out to anyone who knows what I mean #I don’t even know if I know what I mean #sigh. if you read all this thank you and I love you #truly this little corner of the internet has brought me such sweet friends and i cherish you all. so much.#☆.queue

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wolfstrong · 3 months

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Tbh lately I haven’t even been thinking about being in a relationship I’m accepting my expectations are too unrealistic. Like what I’m gonna find some hot guy who I actually think is interesting and he’s gonna like me back? I have to know someone for 5 years before I actually start to like them. And this isn’t to be like oh I hate everyone I meet or whatever, I like most people it just it takes me so long to feel close and comfortable with someone. So I’m not like gonna be able to go on a dating app and find a man. Like no that makes me deeply uncomfortable. I’ll probably be single for like idk maybe ever? And there is nothing I can do about that unless I fundamentally change who I am which I don’t wanna do 😘

#I’m extremely close to my family and my best friends I’ve known my whole life #I have exactly one close friend who I haven’t known since childhood (hi Austin)#and like that person I’ve known for 5 years and have had constant exposer too (sorry if your reading this Austin for describing our frie #friendship like a science experiment)#anyway all this to say… I don’t have casual relationship I’ve never had casual relationship that feel impossible to me #I don’t like having casual relationship I don’t like talking to new people!!! lol!!!!!!!#that’s probably bad but like … lol!!!!

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that-vampire-loser · 3 months

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Aro spec andrew and ace aaron

Best twins

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conjectureand-gloom · 8 months

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i want to feel involved with this, my family is all dancing and singing but every single one of my senses are being overloaded and my brain feels like it is being stabbed i can’t fucking do this

#personal #vent #i’m currently sitting in an adjoining room with couches and stuff #but i’m still close enough to the speakers that i can feel the vibrations #and it’s just so fucking loud #it’s too much #and my whole family is having a great time i feel like i’m wrecking the whole thing #especially because they just don’t understand my issues #the other night my MUCH older sister (who is years into studying psychology)#chewed open mouth right into my ear and laughed at me #anywayyyyy #yea there just gonna make fun of me lol

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thychesters · 3 months

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so in marineford garp tells luffy that here he is not his grandfather, he is a marine admiral and he is a pirate and he will not simply let him by because he wants to get to ace, his brother he wants to save as he is another pirate, he is touted as one of the strongest marines there is, he will have to fight him and he will not hold back,

and then luffy just decks him and i think that’s beautiful

#realistically yes i know garp hesitated and i feel that both could have held their own in a fight #(luffy esp given his own training/gears and the fact that i don’t think he’s fought his grandpa before? i haven’t gotten to his backstory)#(also considering garp was the one doing the hitting! and that wasn’t a fair fight so have he and luffy really gone toe to toe)#but it’s funnier to me that he just said NIGHTY NIGHT OLD MAN and fuckin clocked him #it’s not elder abuse if it’s garp getting walloped on by his grandson(s)#my eyes are CLOSED and i saw NOTHING #garp says here they’re not family? luffy said well ace is #luffy even yells ‘grandpa please!’ and my heart is breaking #kate watches op #marineford

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marbleheavy · 2 years

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hmm question for all socialized as a teenage girl, did y’all hate your moms?

#it’s just such a prevalent choice in media that it’s normalized into society but it doesn’t feel normal #it feels very white nuclear family #like obv w/ puberty there are strained relationships with everyone close to you #but i don’t think that should be classified as “hating your mom”#i didn’t hate my mom and would never feel comfortable saying that bc i know people that genuinely do hate their moms and for good reason so #i wouldn’t ever say that about my mom trying even when she failed #idk many thoughts and i’m not being clear and also very open to changing thoughts and understandings i just want other experiences #cw mommy issues #mommy issues #cw mothers #is that a cw #idk just wanna be careful #marble woes

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totopopopo · 3 months

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genuinely not quite sure why i am so deeply uncomfortable when it comes to telling ppl abt my personal/romantic life. like i want them to know but i also don’t like admitting to anyone out loud that i have emotions, feelings, and/or relations resembling anything beyond superficial interest. i mean jesus. how cringe. they should just intuit it all psychically or something so they can know without me ever having to bring it up myself

#like i’ve always been like this i didn’t tell my parents that i was dating my hs girlfriend for months #not bc i was scared of what they would say. i knew they’d take it fine. they knew i was gay and they knew i was close friends w her #but the thought of having to confess to my parents that i had romantic feelings for someone. and that she had romantic feelings for me.#that thought? EXCRUCIATING. MORTIFYING.#i was fine with them knowing it theoretically #but i just could not bring myself to admit to them face to face. UNPROMPTED. that i was dating somebody.#i ended up texting them as CASUALLY AS POSSIBLE in the family gc a like 12 in the morning #like hey btw just a heads up me and [girl] are dating okay bye #like lmaaooo they probably don’t even REMEMBER this now but i vividly remember drafting that text at the time like jesusss chriiiiiissstttt #but that was also true for my best friend i didn’t tell HER i was dating my gf for a while TOO and i don’t think i actually told any of our #friends just let them learn via osmosis and that was great that was ideal #i just don’t feel comfortable talking about myself to other people at all like in person #obviously writing it all out is fine like i’m sharing this on my blog bc again I don’t mind people knowing stuff #i just don’t like having a one on one conversation with anybody about any facet of my identity feelings personhood at all #and again i don’t know why that’s true. it’s kinda funny. it’s also something i’m gonna have to just suck up and take like sorry kid #welcome to the mortifying ordeal of being known #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyways lmao i was just thinking about that again bc. well for obvious reasons but also because it happened during pride month LMAO #and looking up pride events near me this evening reminded me of that specifically #man #i guess i haven’t changed at all since i was 16 lol #better taste in people now though i think #cest la vie and all that

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aprylynn · 7 months

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Receiptify Time!!! I was tagged by @raplinenthusiasts @epiphanytear and @sevencoloredstar to post my receipts from last month 🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @lauraperfectinsanity @summerwave @hopeinthebox @cosmicdreamgrl @cordiallyfuturedwight @lightedwindows @zerotolove to post your receiptify if you want 💗

#sorry if you’ve already been tagged i just love you all so i tagged you anyway #did i wait to post this until today so that love of a girl would be number one???#yes yes i did #it has been on repeat while i laugh and cry at the same time #the avett brothers are very close to my heart and make me think of my family and i know my dad would have loved that song #also i agree with that person on tiktok who said if you don’t like le sserafim’s easy than sorry you’re not a bad bitch #obviously completely obsessed #as you can tell by don’t forget me and love untold that i love feeling like i’m being stabbed in the heart as i listen to songs #i’m going to see enhypen in may so i have to learn everything about them before them #and lastly mic drop and wake up appear because i continue to share my spotify account with my 6yo #receiptify

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beanmaster-pika · 2 years

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A sizeable chunk of the fanbase (especially those who read the webtoon) seeing Collei in 3.0: aw thank goodness she’s doing well and even has two dads who are in love :)

Hoyoverse half a year later, writing Cyno and Tighnari into an event that in-game half of Mondstadt considers a lovers’ festival: shit shit shit shit shit we have to no-homo this

#edit: STOP LIKING THIS POST. LET IT DIE.#edit cont: tumblr will hide my creative posts from the tags but the comment I don’t want to spread gets in immediately. typical :/#????????????#not sure whether to take this at face value #bc there is a very long history of writers pausing mid-story to be like ‘uhh forget all the chemistry we’ve written up to now. obviously #these characters are close because they’re like ~brothers~ or ~sisters~’ and then go back to exactly what they were doing before #and never mentioning that again #so I’m reserving judgement until I see how things play out in more events #hyv has written characters who are siblings or who consider each other siblings or family before and they’ve been pretty clear about them #from the beginning. kaeya’s character stories explain that he and diluc are adopted siblings and shenhe’s demo before she was even released #says ‘surprise! she’s related to chongyun!’#this tidbit feels way late and honestly reads to me like a retroactive censor dodge. anyway #I played act 1 and was like ‘oh hee hee cynonari and their daughter collei :)’ and then act 2 came along #and re: windblume like. the lore says some celebrate it as a festival of gratitude #and windblume 1 showed it could be a festival for family as well (barbara kaeya and diluc in the montage cutscene)#so I would assume there’d be enough ambiguity for them like with jeanlisa in windblume 1 #but I guess not??#pika’s ramblings #genshin #genshin impact

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fen-the-space-dragon · 4 months

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Let’s abolish gender based gifts. No more pocket knives cuz ur a guy or makeup cuz ur a girl. Just get people what they as an individual would want pretty fucking please

#please I’m so sick of people getting me makeup and perfume and shit cuz they think I’m a girl #i have never enjoyed those things and anyone I’m close enough to that they would get me a gift knows this #it just comes across to me as they either are trying to get me to like those things because I ‘should’#or like they haven’t payed any attention to my interests and see me only as a girl #and even if I was a girl I think that would still hurt #especially seeing the things the guys get like cool rc cars or pocket knives compared to the unwanted accesories I get #like if someone barely knows me and they get me something because of a gift exchange thing for school or a club or smth then idc #they don’t know what I like and just took a guess that’s fine #but when my family I’ve known my whole life and that has never seen me ever wear makeup or express any interest in makeup and knows I do not #like it gets it for me #that kinda feels not great #i just kinda wanted to rant a bit #i hate when this happens #kinda feels like I’m not even a person with my own interests in their mind. just a ‘girl’ so I clearly like ‘girl things’#and if I’m just a girl in their minds then what happens when I tell them I’m not a girl?

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