#and I don���t know HOW I grew through that but I did! i genuinely thought it was the end of such an important part of who I am

[outsidereveries]

hello! I am new in kpop and i am starting to accompany enhypen,bts and IVE. They overall are good people?Because i don´t want stan bad people persona in behing camera ik. What cards say?

I asked about the members' overall personality (whether it's good or bad).

most likely to be nice

ive's jiwon (liz): the devil rx

might be the most nice out of all of the mentioned members in these 3 groups. she tries to show the most authentic side of herself - the good and bad. to me she's first because i appreciate the raw side more than anything. liz tries to be really pure with dives and her solo stans, so i can feel whatever she shows is genuine.

bts' jung kook: 6 of pentacles rx + 10 of cups

to me he is possibly the second most nice person out of these 3 groups, i feel so. jungkook is helping other people, sometimes even more than needed. this might make jungkook more naive than he really is like, but he actually loves to do that. he's very optimistic boy, very happy, there's only positive things i can see and feel. like i said before, a total sunshine. to you, he might be the most nice out of the members of these 3 groups.

enhypen's jungwon: 2 of cups

very communicative with people, he loves to get close with his audience and he actually cares for engene and not only them. it feels like he's someone who's willing to help even if he cannot to do it.

bts' yoongi (suga/agust d): knight of pentacles

very determinated to work what he loves! despite everything he's been through, suga loves to do music, beats and these things that are related to his idol job. suga is working for the feeling of the hobby itself and to him is pure admiration of the job itself. it makes him happy and if army and his solo stans are happy, like his work and so on, he'll be even happier. he lives for the job, it makes him happy and feel that there's purpose for his life. (compared to other people, i see suga has changed quite a lot and has grown up as a person. he'll do the same with his friendships and not only, the relationships with people)

bts' jimin: page of pentacles

he is pretty much a perfectionist. jimin's intentions to everyone are purely good but he tries to have the perfect friendships and etc. with people which sometimes isn't good because sometimes we have to get into any hardships. jimin seems to have this perfectionism as a habit. overall the vibes i am sensing are good but he has some traits that are hard to change.

bts' seokjin (jin): 2 of wands

since he got out of military recently, i see he tries to adapt. jin also seems really nice person, like without a doubt, but he has hard time with adapting and re-adapting. since i feel his thoughts rather than is he good or not, jin might not know either not because he did something but rather than the environment in hybe has changed too rapidly. jin seems to not be used into the corporation as it is nowadays.

enhypen's jake: page of cups

compared to jungkook, jake is also a bit naive. he might be a fool at times, but i sense he's not that experienced in real life for some reason. he might be introverted in some aspects and even have issues to communicate properly, but he's not as bad as some people might think. he's really nice person and might sometimes look like a lost puppy, but once you "get to know him", he's not that bad.

enhypen's sunwoo (sunoo): 5 of wands rx

also nice boy but doesn't like arguments. sunoo's very chill and hates quarrels. he'd prefer to either not take a side or give something to someone else just to not hear screams and feel bad. i am not sure if it's related to how he grew up in his family, though. this seems to be a side he has for some time.

bts' hoseok (j-hope): 7 of cups

he's also nice, like really nice. why he's low compared to his other members though for me is because he's extremely multi-layered. he's not only sunshine, he's not only the main dancer of bts. hobi has a lot to say, if you let him to do it. he wants to be raw and pure and just himself (to be as similar as liz) but considering his status and other circumstances, he cannot do that just yet. currently hobi is overthinking more than usual and if hybe just make him free to talk what he wants to say, he'll just do it, but just not yet..

bts' taehyung (v): the moon

even more multi-layered than j-hope. nowadays he is harder to get mainly because he wants to "break free". the freedom he seems to long for is rather related to his beliefs, they seem to be the main key. he feels too many emotions at once. why he's so high, though, compared to the other people, is because i sense this blockage is temporary and possibly because i've been in a similar situation before. he's not bad at all but he currently is going through a period that make him feel mixed. despite him being in the military, v seems to be around coworkers there that are trying to wake him up spiritually.

bts' namjoon (rm), enhypen's heeseung: 5 of swords rx

both boys are neutral to me. so, about namjoon, i see he's a bit better compared to heeseung. rm has been through a lot too but he seems to be in a "not this but not that" situation. heeseung on the other hand, i cannot sense much except that he might be currently really passive. heeseung seems to be harder to get. both boys are deeply in their thoughts and in different situations but they aren't as bad as they might be. currently they just are a bit harder to reach simply because they're overthinkers, especially bts' leader.

ive's gaeul, ive's wonyoung: 4 of pentacles rx

wonyoung is better to me. her mental health is so and so and that affects her a lot. despite how popular she is, wonyoung seems to get through the things in a odd way and it just cannot be explained by everyone. she's very generous and thankful for this lifetime but nonetheless she tries to be chill and to strengthen her mentality (psyche). gaeul on the other hand, my intuition said "uh she's so and so as a person". i don't have anything else to say.

enhypen's sunghoon: 5 of pentacles

he's currently getting through a lot and i am unsure where to put him. intuition-wise and through older readings, he's more introverted but despite that, he's also really nice.

enhypen's riki (niki): 9 of swords rx

from older readings i've sensed his personality differs a lot from most of the members, so that's why he's this down.

ive's rei: ace of pentacles

she's workaholic to the extent she doesn't think about anything else, like work is her only purpose. rei's "more nice" than yujin because she doesn't have ill intentions behind all of this and that's her way to cope with .. anything. i don't feel much for her too.

ive's yujin: king of pentacles

another workaholic to the extent her work is only on her mind. the difference is that she gets so obssesed over the work she has that she loses herself.

enhypen's jay: 4 of swords

.. very passive person, more than heeseung if i have to compare with him. he's down here because this trait of his is prominent.

ive's hyunseo (lesseo): 3 of swords

sometimes she's too brutal with her words. exteremely honest but also critisize a lot without working on herself for example. basically, she has traits that aren't good. i don't see she's manipulative but she has some work to do if she does want to change.

least likely to be nice

my ask was based on one card for each member and it's allegedly the "overall look". there might be some discrepancies here and there so i also used my intuition.

done on 29.06.2024

[the-travelling-witch]

i really just needed an excuse to talk about tattooed!kazuha yes it’s another modern au drabble

“What does this one mean?”

You were sitting next to your -currently shirtless- boyfriend, Kazuha, tracing your finger over his inked shoulder blade, following the trail of black forming a downward triangle with wings. Always fascinated by the art on his body, you had often admired the tattoos but never really asked about them. 

“Hmm, my friend Venti came up with the design for it, actually. We got drunk with a couple of friends one night and spontaneously decided to get tattoos together,” he chuckled. You could already imagine what friends he was talking about, raising a questioning eyebrow when you remembered a particularly stoic fellow. “Well, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, of course. But you know how Venti can be when he set his mind to something, especially when drunk. Besides, Xiao doesn´t hate us as much as he´d like everyone to believe.”

Now it was your time to laugh, vivid memories of the teal-haired man dragging his four drunk friends through the streets, desperately trying to prevent them from doing something stupid. Despite not wanting to accept it, he was the mom friend of the group and he´d be damned if anything happened to either of them.

“So what about this one?” Running your fingers up his arm, you followed what appeared to be a gust of wind carrying maple leaves up to meet the previously discussed art, forming an elegant sleeve.

“Ah, this one. It reminds me of home.” He let out a blissful sigh, crimson eyes softening at the mere mention. “In the town where I grew up, every autumn, the maple leaves would turn a deep vermillion and blanket entire streets in a thick layer of colour. It was quite the sight to behold, one I am still very fond of. One day, I hope I can experience this miracle again, with you by my side.”

The thought alone made your heart leap with joy and you offered a smile as genuine as his words. “I´d love to go with you, I´m quite interested to see where you grew up.”

“Great, it´s a promise then.” Kazuha intertwined his hands with yours, running his lithe fingers over the back of your hand as he noticed your gaze drift to the tattoo spanning his spine. “No questions about that one?”

“Well, I mean I do but…” Very hesitantly, you extended a hand towards it, although stopping before you could make contact with the mark. It was only when your boyfriend slightly turned his torso to grant you easier access to his back that your fingers touched the black lines. Mapping out the artwork, your eyes followed your digits on their path to forming a katana which was seemingly struck by lightning. “It seems different from the others. There´s such a seriousness to it, I don´t know how to ask about it.”

“It´s okay, I don´t mind. You are correct, though, when you say it´s more serious than the others. I got it to honour the loss of a dear friend.” His words seemed to send an electric current up your arm and down your own spine, goosebumps rising in its wake. “He was always looking for a new challenge or a new adrenaline rush and we did a lot of stupid stuff together. Then, he became fascinated with the idea of scaling a mountain infamous for its increased risk of lightning strikes. Despite my warnings, when I came back from a trip out of town, I´m sure you can imagine what sort of news I received.”

Swiftly retreating your hand from his skin as if you had cut yourself on the blade, you sucked in a harsh breath. “Oh Kazuha, I´m so sorry. I didn´t know…”

“No, no, I told you it´s alright, didn´t I, my love? This took place a long time ago and I´ve made my peace with it.” Gently guiding your fingers back to his spine, he pressed your palm against the dark lines again. “I have no qualms talking about what happened. My friend made a choice and I have to respect it, no matter the outcome. Of course, at first, I resented him and that mountain. But after all this time, I do not want to hold on to these feelings of regret and questions of ‘what if’. Rather, I´d like to think back fondly on all the positive memories we created”

“You´re amazing, do you know that? I don´t think a lot of people have that kind of strength.”

“Maybe that´s true,” he admitted. “But I can´t help but think that you´re a vital part of that strength. Your presence comforts me and I feel at ease even when I´m vulnerable in front of you. With you, I don´t need to run or hide who I truly am; I am no longer a leaf simply blowing in the wind. More than anything, I want to share my life with you, no matter if it's the euphoric highs or the unfortunate tragedies. In the end, I know I´ll be okay because I have you to return to, in the knowledge that you´ll welcome me home with open arms. I´m very grateful for what you do for me, I hope you´ll never forget that.”

“How can you spin every conversation into complimenting me, hm?” Your tone was light despite the tears threatening to weigh down your lower lash line. In an effort to convey your emotions, you leaned forward to place a kiss right between his bare shoulder blades, lips lingering when you felt Kazuha relax even more into your touch. “That´s quite the high praise your showering me with. All the same, I hope you´ll never forget that I always have your back.”

“I´m torn between being exasperated at the pun or kissing you senseless for being so sweet.”  You burst out laughing, forehead leaning against Kazuha´s shaking shoulders.

“Why not both?” you replied cheekily.

“Hmm, I believe that can be arranged.”

tag list: @mccnstruck @silentmoths @teyvattales @ainescribe

[holykillercake]

FRIED EGGS

KOBY x Pirate!Reader

word count: 2k

summary: Being infiltrated as a Marine and keeping your feelings under control was easy until you were assigned to work with Marine Captain Koby. How you wished he was a jerk.

highlight: ¨I am kissing you... but I am angry, Y/N-san...¨

warnings: read under the risk of developing diabetes.

notes: Hey, guys! This was a lovely request from @pure-kirarin! <3 I had to stop other projects to make this one because Koby threw me out of my comfort zone hahaha I really hope you like!! ALSO 1) Happy Birthday Sabo-kun! ALSO 2) In order to add more dept to the story, the main character is part of a Yonkos´crew, but I wrote in a way that all fit, so choose your favorite! ALSO 3) ART ALERT!

Leave comments, hearts and love!

¨You have been doing a remarkable job in such little time, Commander L/N. We all have great expectations regarding your transference to our Marine Headquarters.¨ 

The words of the Rear Admiral barely scratched your mind as you discreetly observed the pink-haired boy´s reflection on the crystal clear window. 

He maintained a similar posture to yours: chin up, chest out, shoulders back, and stomach in. However, while your fingers remained paralleled to your trousers, you took a glimpse of his clenched fist, thumb fidgeting the side of his index finger. 

¨Vice Admiral Tsuru was reluctant to sign your transfer. She said you remind her of herself in the past, which is always an excellent compliment to hear.¨ you nodded, acknowledging his words  ¨We´re glad we convinced her.¨

Your heart warmed with his words, and you almost felt bad because you knew the disappointing outcome O-Tsuru-san would have at the end of this. She trained you with the iron face of a merciless soldier, and the elegance that resembled the animal of her name.

It has been three years since you received the green card from your captain to part ways in a long-term solo mission. A journey to excavate the putrid secrets of the so-called defenders of the law. You learned after a short time that justice is not so black and white.

Not that you planned to reveal the dirt, no. That intel your captain could sell to the Revolutionary Army and keep the capital running. You were interested in the arms race, the corrupt diplomacy, and more importantly, the dark pipes where traitors flowed.

Someone from inside the Yonkos was feeding the Marines with crucial information about the Emperors´ activities. And in such a close fight, you could not take those risks.

All other Emperors must have their own undercover agents within the Marines, but even that was a dispute. You could point some names to your boss, who confirmed what was suspected. Those would usually be the best of the best, extravagant and loud.

But not you. You didn't have to make that much noise. You slid between the floors of New Marineford like a snake swimming with the current. Earning the respect of your superiors and being promoted without ringing any bells. You accepted each medal with a firm salutation and relentless performance. 

¨The trip must have been displeasing. Submerging ten thousand meters underwater and rising to these fiendish waters require a good rest. Our Marine Captain Koby will escort you to your quarters, Commander Y/N. The remaining instructions shall be presented tomorrow.¨

You saluted the Rear Admiral in front of you and turned to the exit, passing by Koby, who waited for you to leave first.  When your paths crossed, the pace of your heartbeats quickened, pumping more blood through your body and leaving a burning sensation on your cheeks. 

The involuntary response was instantly interpreted as alertness to danger, which needed to be handled with caution. 

Can´t let my guard down around this one, you thought.

In fact, you planned to keep as much distance as you could from him. An officer let slip that he has been gaining incredible control over his Observation Haki since the Paramount War. 

But the wind seemed to change direction, and you began to swim against the current. When the morning came, you were assigned to be his partner for an undetermined time, and he would act as your superior. The idea of being bossed around by a younger marine got your temper sparked. 

Only he was not like the others, treating you in a patronizing and condescending way. He spoke to you with the same cordiality and politeness he addressed everybody else. 

Slowly, your concrete cold expression began to soothe. You would still remind yourself how annoying his good manners were, though. So annoying, seriously!

¨Good morning, Y/N-san!¨ he greeted as you joined him for breakfast. 

¨Good morning, Koby.¨ 

¨Our Border Force correspondent sent his report early in the morning with information about possible Yonkos´ alliances in the Wano Country. We are arranging a meeting as soon as possible.¨ 

You didn´t like to handle work so early, but this subject, in particular, raised your spirits. ¨Good. It was about time.¨

You noticed that he wore a different headband. ¨What happened?¨ 

¨Hm?¨ he brought the soup bowl close to his mouth. 

¨The bandana. Green, with the fried eggs.¨ he choked on the miso soup, coughing like he had swallowed poison. 

You reached for a paper tissue and handed it to him. ¨K-Koby, are you ok?¨

¨Y-Y/N... Y/N-san...¨ he coughed some more ¨They´re not... fried eggs...¨

¨Oh...¨ your brows raised slightly ¨What are they?¨

A depressive aura grew around him ¨They are flowers, YN-san...¨

The edge of your lips contorted as you tried to hide a smile. You haven´t felt like smiling genuinely for years. Annoying boy!

From that moment on, ignoring him became more difficult. He started to ask you to train with him or invite you to spend some time with him and Helmeppo whenever you had free time. Eventually, he began to ask you how he looked before an important meeting. 

Most of the time, you would reply something like ¨ok¨. But sometimes, the mouth was quicker than the brain, and you would let an ¨impeccable¨ slip out, followed by an awkward throat clearing and blushed cheeks. 

From both sides.

•

¨Oh my-¨ you stopped yourself from finishing the sentence. 

You were chosen to complete this mission due to your excellent skills in hiding emotions and acting calm under stressful situations. No one could break you. 

Within the Marines, no joke could make you crack a smile, and no torture could make you spill secrets. 

Why did you want to ask if he was ok?

Koby had entered his office with bumps and bloody bruises over his face. His always neat uniform was blotchy, and he carried a first aid kit. 

¨Garp-san paid a visit.¨ He sat on the couch and opened the white box, throwing everything on the coffee table. ¨I bet it wasn't like this with Tsuru-san.¨ he chuckled. 

¨No. She would beat me up, wash me and hang me up to dry.¨ 

You shot from the chair, moving towards the clumsy pinkette, who struggled to attend to his injuries. He tried to hold the mirror with one hand and suture his gash with the other. 

¨Thank yo-¨

¨Shh. Don´t move.¨

You leaned closer to have a better look, giving Koby the same chance. Your delicate perfume smelled like it was tailor-made for you. Your breathing was slightly irregular, and your lip twitched with every given stitch. Your fingers felt like feathers on his skin, so much that he didn´t even feel a sting. 

The job was fast and efficient, making Koby wish Garp had put more effort into his Love Fist. Grabbing a piece of wet cotton, you cleaned the dried blood.  

¨Alright...¨ you whispered.

¨Alright...¨ he whispered back.

You were inches apart from his face, your eyes traveling across the scar on his forehead, the pink locks, and kind features. Your mind traced back all the way to the Paramount War. You had very little knowledge about him, but the words he spoke that day have always made your heart pound like cannonballs. 

You will make an excellent Admiral one day, Koby. 

I hope you don´t hate me. 

¨Y-Y/N-san...¨

¨Hm?¨

¨Your smile is beautiful.¨

¨What?¨ The stupid scene of yours was interrupted like a DJ stopping the record player. 

With cheeks getting pinker than his hair, you shot up and marched back to the chair and your newspaper. ¨You clean this up.¨ 

He left a low chuckle out and began gathering the mess. 

Oh, no, Y/N. You have got to be kidding me. 

He is a freaking marine. Breathe. 

There were a vast number of reasons why you couldn´t like him: from him being a Marine Captain and you being a pirate to the fact that your mission was coming to a conclusion.

Meaning that your journey as his partner would be very soon reaching its end. The meeting with this mysterious correspondent regarding the Yonkos´ operations in the New World would be the last move in this chess game. You would be going home. Mission completed. Everything perfect, right? 

Right, perfect. Impeccable! Ugh!

•

¨... confirm secure line.¨

¨This is Border Officer code 404890. Secure line confirmed.¨ you spoke with a low but clear voice through the nail transponder. 

¨What´s the status on our birdie?¨

¨Positive. The birdie is located at 03:24:01.¨ you gave your boss a coordinate to the name of the Marine informant. The answer you took three years to find out remained on file number one, third page, suspect number twenty-four. 

An amused laugh echoed on your end, and you buried the speaker on your jacket to muffled the sound. 

¨At least he is not one of ours.¨ a chuckle ¨Great job, Y/N.¨

¨Thank you, boss.¨

¨I know this mustn't have been easy, but you were impeccable as always.¨

Yeah, impeccable. 

¨You know the protocol now. We´ll see each other in a few days. You´ll have a party waiting for you, kid.¨

¨Aye, aye, boss. But I want the good booze.¨  Both of you laughed. 

You finished the call, and the smile on your lips died as the image of a pink-haired boy invaded your mind. You wished he was a jerk like everybody else. 

It would have been so easy. 

¨Who were you talking to?¨ your chest contracted, pushing the air out of your lungs and sending extra blood supply to your muscles. 

You hid the transponder into your jacket and turned, facing your Marine Captain. 

¨Eavesdropping, Koby?¨

What should I do?

¨Y/N-san, who were you talking to?¨ he repeated himself, offering the benefit of the doubt. You sighed.

¨My captain.¨ 

Why the need to be honest with him?

¨Y/N-san, please don´t tell me-¨

¨I´m sorry, Koby. I wish I didn´t have to do this.¨ you couldn´t bring yourself to face him.

¨A-Are you a pirate? Why?¨

You chuckled ¨Why am I a pirate?¨

¨Why did you do this?¨ his face was pale, making your guts twitch in guilt.

¨I´m on a mission. But I´ll leave soon.¨

¨You are like... Vergo-san.¨ he sounded disappointed.

¨I am nothing like Vergo. You know this.¨ or at least you hoped he did. 

He closed the door slowly, eyes fixed on your figure. The bright light from the window made him look like an ethereal painting.

While you tried to predict his next move, whether he was going to interrogate you or kick your ass, Koby acted calm and collected, not hesitating. He trusted his Observation Haki to guide his next move. Or maybe his heart.

You saw a pink blur closing distance like a missile, and before you could dodge, his hands pulled you by the waist, connecting your bodies and lips. 

He forced your back to meet the thick window with a gasp that was muffled by the kiss. His touch was rough upon the fabric of your uniform, but his mouth felt soft against yours.

Your hands moved to his hair, removing the round pair of glasses and the green bandana so you could get lost in his locks. His grip was harsh under the fabric of your uniform, but his hair felt soft on your fingertips. 

A moan escaped your lips when he parted the kiss with a loud snap and struck the glass with both hands, keeping you trapped in the middle. You let go of his hair and grabbed him by the collar, not letting him go away.

¨I am kissing you... but I am angry, Y/N-san...¨ his breath was heavy and carried with a myriad of emotions. 

¨I know... I am sorry.¨

¨Why?¨

¨Because I like you, Koby. A lot.¨ he paused for a second, fighting the urge to admit the same.

¨What was your mission?¨

This is the last lie, I promise, Koby. ¨The Marines possessed vital information about something my boss wants. I needed to get it.¨

¨Now that I know that you´re a pirate and that you stole Marine´s assets, I´m gonna have to hunt you down.¨

¨I´ll be waiting for you.¨ 

You stared him in the eyes, and he kissed you to stop himself from saying what he really wanted. 

I love you, Y/N-san.

Diary of Koby-Meppo: The Fried Egg Life Crisis.

💕 @vemuabhi

[wedreamedlove]

Mo Yi in Love - Character Study

I just read Mo Yi's [SSR Brewing Thoughts] card and, not only am I an emotional mess, but I also hit an epiphany regarding understanding his character and now I have to write about this. I know I'm going to repeat this at the end, but understand that Mo Yi is just a man who wants his first love to be his last love and who has relatable fears over failure, haha.

SPOILERS go up to chapter 3 of Mo Yi's personal route, [SSR Brewing Thoughts], [SR Fake Tears], [SSR Dangerous Invitation], and reveal Mo Yi's family background. In addition, while the lines are in order, I chose to remove some descriptions to keep things shorter.

First, I want to talk about Mo Yi's view towards love.

It's really positive, which is ironic given his background and what he grew up around. However, he's always been a rational person and the object or feeling itself has no crime, it's what people choose to do with it that matters.

[Personal Route Ch.1]

MY: True love brings light and hope to life and makes a person better and better.

MY: At any time, you could meet with that person who would make you a better person, but you may not be aware of it at the time.

[Personal Route Ch.3]

MY: Alright, quiet... What everyone here has said is all "love".

MY: Love itself is a concept that cannot be clearly defined because, for every person, their feelings and preferences are different.

MY: So, this student here, I apologize sincerely but I may not be able to give you an accurate answer.

Student: Professor, what do you feel is love then?

MY: Me...?

Mo Yi faintly smiled.

His eyes passed through the sea of people and met mine.

MY: To me, it is a unique miracle.

MY: She makes me unable to control wanting to investigate, to touch, and to figure out everything.

MY: There are even times where, for a short moment, I am unable to distinguish the divide between reason and emotion.

MY: In this world, there are too many people who are fair on the outside but foul on the inside, however there will always be that one person...

MY: She will make you become better, make you believe everything is wonderful, make you start to look forward... to the future.

Look, he's an utter romantic! But, like I mentioned above, he's also a rational person and he needs to make sure that this love is The One for him.

Second, what's important to mention here is his view on Love At First Sight because that's what he admits to himself that he has for his heroine.

However, he has a huge scar about Love At First Sight because of the tragedy that was his parents. His father, a nobleman, and his mother, a foreign woman from a background of scholars, fell in love with each other at first sight. However, due to his father's poor handling of the church in his country, which basically denied their relationship unless Mo Yi's mother converted to their religion, Mo Yi's mother left his father and his father lost the love of his life and has been regretting it to this day.

So, what does he think about Love At First Sight?

[Personal Route Ch.2]

MY: ...Personally, I believe in "love at first sight".

Student: Really? I thought someone rational and calm like you wouldn't believe in this sort of illusion.

MY: "Love at first sight" has uncertain factors, but that doesn't mean its existence itself is a mistake.

MY: Furthermore, isn't it human nature to harbor hope for this wonderful and sincere emotion? I am no exception.

MY: Only...

Mo Yi paused slightly and, when he opened his mouth again, there seemed to be some unclear emotion in his tone.

MY: When "love at first sight" arrives, I am more inclined to make a particular judgment first rather than walk eagerly towards love.

MY: Those wonderful things that are unforgettable for people, are they for real or are they "ephemeral"? This is more important, is it not?

Student: Oh, can this sort of thing be tested? Professor, can you teach me?

MY: It's not a peculiar method, you just need to make observations.

Student: Observations?

MY: Correct, observe the other party's attitude and thoughts when facing matters, especially the things that really threaten their lives or safety.

MY: To a certain extent, a person's behavior can reflect their personality.

As a top psychiatrist, Mo Yi is extremely honest to himself with his own emotions and thoughts. Heck, that's why he always records voiced diary logs because he uses those to examine his own mental state. So, this determination on whether or not the target of his Love At First Sight is The One means a lot to him, because he will throw himself fully into this love.

One huge thing about Mo Yi is that he chases perfection and has an aversion to imperfect things. This stems from his deathly fear of failure because he doesn't believe there is a "next time" after failure. Once something fails, that's the end. This is due to his parents again and how, while it takes time to nurture emotions, it only takes an instant to lose emotions or trust.

Third, because of the above, it is incredibly important for Mo Yi minimize as much "risks" as possible.

The translations below are going to be paired together for consistency, but they will be addressing two points at the same time. One, that Mo Yi may exaggerate the emotions he reveals, but they are genuine. Two, that he is showing his "imperfect" and "ugly" sides to his heroine in controlled settings because he doesn't want her to hate him.

(On a minor note, I think it should be kept in mind that he's also observing her through all of this to determine whether or not she's The One, but honestly she just keeps surprising him throughout the game and making him fall harder and harder for her).

[SR Fake Tears]

In those gold eyes of his, the usual gentle smile was replaced by another emotion.

MC: Dr. M-Mo...?

That expression... was not sadness and was not relief, but...

A kind of inevitable self-confidence, the satisfaction of seeing through everything, or... an unfathomable control.

That glance... was it my misconception?

In the flickering light, that expression was gone in a flash. I was incapable of determining it, but instinctively a hint of a chill rose from the bottom of my heart...

MY: Did I scare you?

MY: I just... don't want to hide myself in front of you. I just want to be honest about my weakness in front of you alone.

MY: You won't hate me, right?

Before I could answer, he smiled softly.

MY: Let me indulge myself this once, alright?

MY: Just for this short while...

[SR Fake Tears]

Mo Yi sat at his desk and turned on his digital voice recorder.

The time on the recorder slowly moved forward, but Mo Yi only watched that changing number without saying a word.

After a long time, a soft sigh came from the quiet room.

MY: I shouldn't have done that...

MY: Just for a moment of warmth, I deliberately showed her that appearance, even exaggerating my sadness and weakness...

MY: I even fully enjoyed indulging myself... I sought even more from her, hoping she would... feel even more sorry for me.

MY: But, at that time, I really didn't want to use reason to control my emotions.

MY: This is the first time I've been so... contradictory, chaotic...

His voice became lighter and lighter.

MY: The yearning I have for her... is already... an addiction I cannot give up...

[SSR Brewing Thoughts]

MY: Saying you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight was only an excuse, wasn't it? You were afraid I would have a sleepless night because I would think about past matters.

MC: Dr. Mo, you—

MY: I'm really happy.

MY: I won't be sad because of those things, but I truly am really happy.

His fingertips gently caressed my wrist.

MY: A child who has tasted candy would have a hard time enduring the loss. Can I be insatiable and rely on you more?

MY: Or is it that people who are too strong, who don't feel sad, have no way of receiving concern?

MY: Are you... going to leave and ignore me?

There was a hint of pretend grievance in his voice, and also a deep belief and certainty that I couldn't refuse him.

MC: (Too unfair! There's no way to refuse...)

Before I could answer, Mo Yi held my wrist and pulled me even closer to him.

MY: Just stay here, right with me.

Some context here is that he was acting "drunk" in the translation above. Below was the reveal that he wasn't actually drunk.

[SSR Brewing Thoughts]

The bud of feelings needed to be raised with the utmost care, but how could he let it grow strong in an unpredictable environment?

Of course he had to control it himself rather than allowing it to happen naturally.

Just like adjusting the sun and rain when a grapevine was growing, and just like controlling every timing of winemaking.

Furthermore, if someone wanted a grape seedling, which was imperfect to begin with, to produce the desired fruit, to brew the perfect wine, then it needed even more precise control.

Otherwise... just like wine, a small error might lead to serious consequences.

As you can see, the god complex and obsession over control is strong here. He cannot and does not believe to leaving things to random nature. He's not willing to lose this love and will do anything to give him and his heroine a happy ending (unlike his parents).

That's not to say that he HAS to control everything though. He actually doesn't care about the process (nature vs. nurture) so long as the results are good. But, like I mentioned above, he is certainly a master of reducing "risks".

However, and this was the whole point of [SSR Brewing Thoughts], Mo Yi's heroine teaches him that there is a "next time" after failure. She teaches him that, sometimes, the journey along the way is more important than the conclusion and that what's most important is whether or not the person he loves is beside him.

What is extremely touching is how matter-of-factly she tells him that they can just try again if they fail at something. He does not need to chase perfection when he is around her and a lot of his dates are seeing him in various states of failure. Practicing failure is such a relatable thing for us all to learn in life.

Fourth, I am going to repeat myself a little here after these translations but, in my opinion, Mo Yi carries a childlike honesty and purity regarding his emotions. The thing that makes him so charming is that while he plays these manipulative tricks, he is also extremely blunt about his own emotions. He expresses his jealousy, his possessiveness, his blunders, etc. He wants her to be the only one who can see these different sides of him and perceive his moods when he normally keeps everyone else at a polite distance. The ONLY disguise he wears is a flimsy one that hides what, in his eyes, are the "ugliest" sides of himself because he doesn't want his heroine to hate him; but he doesn't hide the fact that he has these ugly sides at all.

Fifth, basically, go ahead and fall in love with Mo Yi! He looks dangerous and he sort of is (extremely grey morality, does not adhere to the Hippocratic Oath, literally amassed power to have the choice to do what he wants, and uses his own scale of judgment, but that's another essay for another time) but he is never dangerous to you and is just as invested in this love as you are.

I suppose one thing you do have to watch out for is his arrogant god complex and believing he knows what's best LOL.

[Personal Route Ch.3]

MY: Because the mother eagle knows that, only after experiencing the pain and torment of a broken wing, the young eagle will truly have the ability to soar in the sky.

MY: Although this is just a metaphor that is somewhat different from reality, when it comes to her...

MY: This is the path she chose and, not only will I let her walk on it, but I will also let her become the most dazzling presence on this road.

MY: But, Constable Yan, you should know better than me what sort of end most people who pursue light in the chaos have.

MY: So, to recognize the darkness in front of her and face it directly is something she must learn.

MY: If she was always huddled under the wings of others, then her road would end here.

YW: But aren't you afraid of something happening by chance?

MY: "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions."

MY: Since I chose to do this I naturally have enough certainty. Besides... I am here, so who could hurt her?

However, this is not a one-way street and the same goes for the heroine and what she can do to him. In fact, I am going to end this essay with one of my favorite quotes ever in this game (even still to this day), because it honestly shows how Mo Yi fell in love with the dazzling justice the heroine upholds and how he will accept anything of her.

One thing he says in a beta PV, the prologue of the game, and [SSR Border of Light and Darkness] is that he hopes she can stick with the choice she makes, even if it runs counter to the world and everyone is against her.

So, anyway, the context of the quote below is important because [SSR Dangerous Invitation] is essentially a microcosm of their relationship. They roleplay a locked-room mystery and, in the end, the heroine chooses to throw Mo Yi (her lover in the game) into jail because he's a murderer (even though he did it for her). She chooses the truth and her version of justice over them living together in a lie (by pushing the blame to someone else). Before the lover is executed, he writes one last love letter and this is what Mo Yi reads out to his heroine at the end of the date.

[SSR Dangerous Invitation]

MY: Perhaps what he was infatuated with was this kind of you.

MC: !!!

Hearing his words, I looked up in astonishment.

Those gold eyes suddenly became profound and intense. I couldn't understand his emotions, only feeling that I was about to fall into his eyes.

The noisy wind and the voices of people on the long street gradually faded away at his words.

Only my heartbeat remained in my ears and the last love letter the duke wrote to the viscountess before the gallows that he read out slowly.

MY: "I will always open wide my arms and accept all your beauty and cruelty."

MY: "I hope that you will, with this heart, embrace the one and only truth you pursue."

Sorry, I can't resist finishing off by saying some more sappy words but, again, Mo Yi is just a simple man who wishes his first love to be his last love and he's so invested in this love. You are the once-in-a-lifetime stirring of his heart.

[fandomsonrequests]

fake dates for a real wedding

fandom: ATEEZ

characters: kang yeosang; ATEEZ

reader: fem!

word count: 3.5k+

summary: Initially, you thought it wouldn’t be hard to find a fake date for the wedding. You could just ask one of your friends. But it seemed like fate was punishing you for your impulsiveness because all the people you were supposed to ask were busy with work or had their own affairs to deal with. All except one— which landed you on where you were now: on Yeosang’s couch begging him to come as your plus one.

a/n: fake dating au, some cussing

Based off on the songs: nangangamba - zack tabudlo, pretend - bad suns, drive slow - addie

You whine when Yeosang lightly shakes you out of his grip, pushing you away from him on the couch. “But Sangie..! You’re the only one I trust.”

“Well, it’s not my fault that you lied about your ‘relationship.’ Look where that’s landed you.” Your friend motions at you, eliciting another pleading whine from you. 

You see, this all started when your friend from high school was getting married. You weren’t super, super close but had a good friendship with each other. So when he invited you to his wedding, he asked if you had any plus one to bring along. You, not wanting to seem like a sad loner, panicked and said that you had a date to bring along. Your friend teased you for a moment, saying that he couldn’t wait to “meet the lucky person” before hanging you up and informing you that he’d send the invitation through an email. 

Initially, you thought it wouldn’t be hard to find a fake date for the day. You could just ask one of your friends. But it seemed like fate was punishing you for your impulsiveness because all the people you were supposed to ask were busy with work or had their own affairs to deal with. All except one— which landed you on where you were now: on Yeosang’s couch begging him to come as your plus one.

“You said you weren’t busy,” You pout and fold your arms like a petulant child. 

“Well I’m not, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to go and pretend to be your date.” He countered.

“And why not?”

“Because it’s lowkey weird..?” He suggests. In reality, it was because he had a massive crush on you. He had one since sophomore year of high school, he just couldn’t really bring himself to tell you then. He could probably tell you at this point in life but he wasn’t ready— not yet anyway. And he didn’t want to hurt himself by pretending to be your date during the wedding. Sure, it was a selfish move on his part, but he’s been hurt before. He didn’t want to be hurt again. Besides, you probably don’t see him as someone more than a friend just like in high school, and he’d rather not deal with the consequences of this seemingly one-sided love.

“It’s just for a day, pleeeaaasee,” you try again and put on your best puppy eyes.

The male sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to resist that, no matter how much he steeled his nerves. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he weighed over his options, which wasn’t much, come to think of it. Maybe he could just indulge in this fantasy for a while, even if it didn’t last forever; at least he could have that luxury. With a final sigh for the umpteenth time this day, he agreed reluctantly.

“Fine,” he replied and you rejoiced. “You’re paying me though.”

Your cheery deposition drops and you blanch. “What?”

“I’m only kidding,” Yeosang adds before you could panic, the corner of his lips quirking up in an amused smile, showcasing some of his beautiful pearly whites.

You grumble, lightly swatting at his arm and he chuckled softly. You couldn’t help but drop your annoyed act and smile in return, glad that things were working out in your favor. You look down to bring out your phone so that you could explain the details to him, missing the way he looked at you fondly, eyes full of yearning for you.

“Since it’s a ‘summer wedding’ it’ll be by the beach. So that means we can wear light but business casual clothes.” You tell him and hand him the phone. 

Yeosang takes it from you, fingers faintly brushing against yours as he reads over the email. You note the way his brows lightly furrow together as he takes note of the invitation’s content. You also note a cute little quirk of his, the way his lips would part slightly or pout just a bit when he was concentrating. You blink away from your trance when you realized that you were staring. Since when were you fixated on the little things about him?

“Have you picked out what you’re going to wear?” He asks and hands the phone back to you. “Because if we’re going to go as a ‘couple,’ we’re going to have to match a little.”

“Oh wow, you’re really going all out with this.” You muse, a light blush coating your cheeks. 

“I mean it’s not a usual thing to pretend to be your best friend’s date to a wedding. Why not make the most of it?”

You smile at the thought. “Yeah, let’s make the most of it.”

The smell of the cool sea breeze fills your lungs as you step out of the car and onto the warm, concrete beside the boardwalk. The wind gently ruffles your hair and pale blue sundress, caressing your skin softly. A content smile makes its way to your face as you take in the warm sight of the waves rolling onto the beach in front of you before looking over to Yeosang. 

His round-rimmed spectacles sat atop of his cute nose, his honey skin seemingly glowing under the sunlight. The outfit he donned, which was a blue button-up top and some white pants, matched yours. He looks over to you with a curious raise of his brow to which you respond with a dorky smile and a shrug. You walk over to him and loop an arm around his. He welcomes the action, even briefly squeezing your hand before walking with you down to the beach where the wedding was to take place. 

“You remember the plan?” He adjusts your sun-hat to keep it from falling off your head.

You nod in response and try to keep your cool. It only dawned on you how nerve-wracking it could be to fake a relationship; you wondered how Yeosang managed to keep calm. “We met in our junior year of high school, messed around a bit in college before getting together just recently.”

The blonde hummed in approval. Actually, the story you conjured up wasn’t too fake; you two did somehow skirt around your feelings for each other in your freshman year of college before you both decided it was best to stop messing around and focus on your studies. It spared both of you the dramatics of the “what are we” phase and allowed you to keep track of your goals in life. The only thing that you lied about was you two being together. But given your history with each other, your friends wouldn’t really question the backstory too much. 

“______!” Your college friends call out to you when they spot you heading down the beach. 

You let out an excited noise, to which Yeosang couldn’t help but chuckle at, and ran out to meet them. They joined you halfway, the strongest of the whole group lifting you into a bone-crushing hug and giving you a small twirl. The blond watches from a respectable distance as you exchanged pleasantries with your friends, talking about what was new and how life was going, the usual stuff. 

The little group was currently caught up in a story when you looked over to Yeosang. He was dusting off the hat that fell off your head, shaking his head in amusement. You motion for him to come join you with a small nod of your head, holding your hand out to him. This doesn’t go unnoticed by one of your friends and she follows your line of sight. A pleasant gasp escaped her lips when she saw him approach the group. 

“Well look who’s here,” She muses, taking note of the way he settled behind you and placed the hat back onto your head. 

“Oh, Yeosang you’re here!” Another friend greets. “Were you invited?”

The said man shook his head, a subtle but charming smile on his beautiful lips. “I just came here with _____.”

The group looks to you expectantly and you simply smile at them, a faint blush on your cheeks. “He’s my plus one.”

Small cheers and whistles erupted from the group, furthering the blush on your cheeks. Even Yeosang’s complexion grew a little rosier at their teasing. One of your friends slings an arm around your shoulder and smirks. “So, are you two a thing or just playing around?”

“We just got together recently. We’re taking this seriously.” You answer, trying not to stammer. 

Another round of cheers.

“That’s great. It's about time you two became a thing.” Your friend pipes up. “It was painful seeing you two pine after each other during freshman year and then just drop it like that.”

“Yeah, I lost 20 bucks because of that.” Another friend sighed, reminiscing the bet they had lost. 

The conversation eventually shifted onto other things, surprising you at how well they received the news. You relaxed a bit more at that, the nerves and anxiousness of pretending melting away as the day goes on. But a small thought lingered at the back of your head; you wondered how things would turn out if you did act on your feelings then. Back then, you weren’t so sure if it was genuine affection that you felt towards Yeosang or just pure infatuation. But now that your friends had cleared up a few things and that you could think more maturely, you realized that maybe… maybe you really did like him.

More guests soon poured in and people started to usher you towards the seats. Before you could though, Yeosang stops you by the shoulder. “Save me a seat, please. I’ll just place the gift on the table.” 

“Don’t take too long.” You reply and head over to a seat near the front. You place your hat down on the chair to your right while your friend from earlier takes a seat on your left. You smile at her, linking your hand with hers and giving it a small squeeze. 

“Hey Bora.”

“Hey, ____. Where's the loverboy?” She nudged your shoulder.

“He’s just placing the gifts down.”

She hums in acknowledgment, nodding her head along. “Since you and Kang are like, a thing now— I’m assuming he’s told you about his crush on you?”

“Uh Yeah. I mean, that kind of led to why we’re together now.” You play along, not knowing that your friend was being serious. 

“That’s great. The guy’s been whipped for you for ages. I think since sophomore or junior year in high school? Hasn’t stopped thinking of you since.” Bora muses and crosses her arms over her chest, looking over to the groom who was taking his place at the front. 

You on the other hand was surprised to hear what she had said. It was written all over your face no matter how hard you tried. Your friend, ever observant, sees this and guffaws. “Wait, he's never told you?” 

“I, I mean I thought like, he liked me in college. I didn’t know it’s been that long.” You stutter.

She shakes her head in disbelief, chuckling softly. “Wow… you two are really hopeless huh…” She pats the back of your hand when she sees Yeosang approach. 

You look over your shoulder to see the blond slide into the seat you save him. “Thanks,” he tells you, briefly patting your knee. 

You could only nod and smile in response, still trying to process what your friend had abruptly told you. Butterflies filled your stomach at the thought that he had liked you for so long, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but berate yourself for being so oblivious to it. Had he even dropped hints before? Come to think of it, he probably has but you most likely brushed it off as a friendly act. 

You look up at Yeosang again, as if looking at him would help you bring your thoughts together. He surprises you when he turns to you, raising a brow curiously. Your cheeks flush out of embarrassment and look away, clearing your throat to play it off. You pick up an amused sort of huff from the man beside you and if you hadn’t turned away, you would’ve seen the blush spreading from his cheeks to his ears.

The music is light and upbeat as it plays throughout the wedding-reception area. Soft waves roll onto the shore, eliciting some giggles from the few children that were brought by their parents. The sun starts to set, painting the sky in warm hues of gold, orange, and lavender. And if you listen closely, you could hear the faint sounds of cicadas warming up. Guests enjoy the food being served to them while some hit the sandy dance floor. The newlyweds of the hour were going around and greeting their friends and family, making some small talk here and there before moving onto the next people. 

You had already exchanged pleasantries with them, the groom being delightfully surprised that it was Yeosang who was your plus one. The two weren’t close, but you could tell that they respected each other. As you wave goodbye to the couple, you turn to the blond with your signature dorky smile. 

“What?” He muses, taking your hand in his and rubbing the soft skin of your knuckles with his thumb. 

“Nothing,” You hum and sigh blissfully. 

“That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing.’” He gently nudged your shoulder. 

You sigh again and cross your arms over your chest. “It’s just me being all emotional and sappy.”

The music from the nearby stereo shifts into something slow but no less upbeat, perfect for just swaying to the beat. Your expression changes into something more optimistic and an idea crosses your head. You beam up at Yeosang and start skipping towards the dance floor, tugging along at his hand. 

Of course, he was reluctant at first. But after some coaxing and your signature puppy eyes, he caves in and joins you. He could feel his heart beat rapidly against his chest as he pulled you close, both arms slung around your waist. He was glad that you weren’t holding hands because the minute you put your arms around his shoulders, he felt his palms grow clammy. He was also thankful for the fact that you weren’t so flush against each other, or else you’d have surely felt the way his heart rate sped up at the proximity between you two. You felt the same, thinking carefully about how to play out your idea; that is, to ask him about how he felt for you then and to just come clean to him now.  

It was a bit silent and awkward for the first few notes of the song, the both of you avoiding each other’s gaze and shyly swaying to the melody. After a while though, you eventually settle into a more comfortable but quiet atmosphere; it was just two friends dancing together.

“So…” You start, shifting a little closer.

“So…” Yeosang parrots and holds you a little tighter. 

“Would you have a beach wedding if ever you’d get married?”

The blond gets a little thrown off from your question, not expecting that you’d ask that, but thinks of an answer anyway. He hums to himself, contemplating the answer. “Not really— but outdoor weddings don’t sound too bad.”

You simply nod in response and the both of you lapse into silence again. You think of asking another question but that would be skirting around the whole situation again. You could see your friends looking at the two of you fondly from the corner of your eye, giggling to themselves. You decide then and there that the best course of action was to be straightforward.

The song shifts into something a little slower, perfect for actual slow-dancing. You take a deep breath and look straight into Yeosang’s warm brown eyes. “I have something to tell you…” 

He stiffens a little at that, his heartbeat picking up once again. He readjusts his hold on you, nodding his head for you to continue. 

“So… a little bird told me about your crush on me since high school.” 

Yeosang’s eyes widened at that and his grip on you tightened. He looks away from you, staring down at his feet as a massive blush covers his face and ears. You couldn’t help but smile softly at that but you didn’t want to be an asshole and push him to explain himself. Instead you gently lift your hand to cup his cheek, making him look up at you with nervous eyes. 

He swallows down his anxiousness and reaches up to take your hand on his cheek. “Did Bora tell you this..?” He teases lightly, mostly to not make things so awkward again. 

You giggle and nod your head. He smiles a little, still a bit nervous but smiles nonetheless. A shaky sigh escapes him and he squeezes your hand, linking his fingers with yours. “...well, she’s not wrong,” He whispers. 

This wasn’t the way he wanted to tell you about how he felt about you but it was now or never— especially since the secret was out in the open. 

“______, it’s probably selfish of me to say but, I still like you. Like, really like you. That was why I said no when you asked me to come with me as your ‘date’ here to the wedding, because I just didn’t want to pretend. I wanted us to be the real thing. I wanted to embrace you without thinking it’s too weird or kiss you without things being awkward for us after.” 

Yeosang takes a deep breath and meets your gaze firmly. “I wanted to tell you that I loved you without feeling hopeless after.” 

You were stunned into silence at his confession, not expecting him to put out all his feelings like that. You blink slowly and try to process his words. Yeosang must have interpreted your silence as some form of rejection and he starts to let go of you, but you instinctively gripped him and pulled him closer before he could.

He looks down at you and you see the vulnerability behind his gaze. You, on the other hand, soften yours. “First of all, I want to apologize for how selfish of me it was to ask you to come as a fake date,” you say, eliciting an amused snort from the other. “Second of all… I’m… thank you for telling me this. It makes it a lot easier.”

“Easier for what..?”

“You know how back then when we messed around and stuff? I did actually like you too but… I wasn’t brave enough to tell you then and just fell back to what we had.” You bring his hand up to your lips and lay a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “But now that we’ve come clean to each other, it makes it easier for me to tell you that I like you too.”

Yeosang breaks into a smile at that, relief crashing down on him. He couldn’t help himself when he brushes some stray hair away from your flushed face, eyes flitting to your lips. His palm was warm against your skin and you leaned into his touch, closing whatever space was left between you two. Yeosang’s thumb runs over your lip, several thoughts running through his head, one of them is how your lips would feel like against his.

“Can I kiss you..?” He whispers. You nod, already gravitating towards him. 

Yeosang leans in, both hands cupping at your cheek, and you meet him halfway. The kiss didn’t feel like butterflies or fireworks. It was more like a wall finally being torn down after several years of helpless pining and lingering glances at one another. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, pleasant butterflies tickling your stomach. Yeosang does the same and eventually leads to you two bumping against each other's teeth.

“Ow—“ You pull away laughing. 

“Sorry about that,” He kisses your nose and leans his forehead against yours. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll live.” You hum. 

You two had eventually pulled away from each other and headed back to your table where your friend group was waiting. They cheered at the both of you, joking about how you two were trying to steal the romantic spotlight from the newlyweds, which led to some banter and teasing. You two didn’t mind though, it actually felt kind of nice. 

The night goes on and the wedding comes to a close. The newlyweds still had an after-wedding party at a nearby club for the legal-aged guests, but you and Yeosang decided to pass on that, congratulating them once again before heading back to the car, ready to end the day. 

As you and Yeosang walk along the sand, the moon hovering in the dark sky and the night breeze tickling your skin, you couldn’t help but smile. You squeeze Yeosang’s hand and looped your arm with his, leaning your head against his shoulder. He kisses your temple and whispers sweet nothings into your hair.

Who would’ve thought that a wedding invitation and a fake date ploy was what you two needed to get together? It’s a silly kind of story to tell to others, eventually, you’d have to come clean to the others, but it was no less special. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Caretaker Dan - The Devil´s Daughter Chapter Three (Lucifer Morningstar x Daughter!Reader)

[Lucifer-Masterlist], [The Devil´s Daughter-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: Dan and you arrived at his house where he took care of you. Everything that happened that day slowly started to sink in. Was it really the right decision to leave heaven? Was it normal to feel that way? Were you starting to regret it already?

Words: 1,405

Warnings: Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 spoilers, slow burn (trust me, the story is good), Dan being a sweetheart (I couldn´t help myself. I´m literally his no. 1 stan.), (Y/A) = your age, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

The both of you got out of the car and you followed Dan to his front door, waiting for him to unlock it. Stepping inside, you were met with a warm light that illuminated your face. The man in front of you turned around. His house was warm, you took off his jacket and handed it to him. In the entrance hall was a small wooden clothes rack where he put the leather piece. Dan took off his shoes and you copied his actions. They were put right next to the door where a few other pairs were already seated. He went in what you assumed to be his living room. Crazy how one single person had so much space while you only ever had one room, a small one too. It was not like you were jealous but it was just a much nicer way of living. When you did not follow Dan he looked towards you with an expecting face.

“Come on in. I have some left overs I can microwave for you if you want me to?” his voice sounded more and more in the distance so you entered his living room only to find him with his head sticking in his fridge. The kitchen, dining room and living room were all connected, making the room even bigger. You were starstruck. Maybe you would be able to afford a place like this in the future. That would be a dream come true.

“Thank you, Dan.” your legs moved you over to the bar that divided the kitchen area from the big dining table. The bar stools looked inviting so you sat down on one of them, waiting for Dan to finish up your meal. Why was he so eager to help you? To him, you were just an ordinary girl. No angel, no daughter of Satan. Just ordinary, like everyone here on Earth. Overthinking was probably the worst to do in this situation. You should be thankful for his efforts and you were. Still, you could never be careful enough, right?

A plate was placed in front of you. Dan handed you cutlery which you took with a wide smile on your face. One that made his face light up, too. He would figure out what to do with you but that had time in the morning. For now, he just wanted you to eat something and get some rest afterwards. In the corner of your eyes you could see Dan sitting down on the chair next to you.

“(Y/N)?” he asked in the silent room.

“Hmm?” munching on some mashed potatoes, you faced him and waited for him to continue.

“I work with the LAPD. Tomorrow, I can see what I can do to help you. To do that, though, I´d need a bit more information from you. Your last name, for example. Age. Anything would be helpful.” his smile was careful since he did not know if you were comfortable with sharing so much with a stranger. The fear in your innocent (Y/E/C) eyes was answer enough. Yet, he had to begin somewhere. Your name was a start but he knew he would not achieve anything with this only.

“Um.” the tension could be felt all across the room and Dan knew he probably crossed the line and you would run out any second. But you seemed frozen on the stool. Thousands of thoughts were running through your mind. How could you tell him more of yourself when you did not even know much else?

“I´m (Y/A) years old. Last name? This might sound weird but I genuinely think I don´t have one? There isn´t much else to tell, really.” with a chuckle your tried to lighten the mood. Dan, though, was shocked by what you just told him. What a mysterious girl you were. Maybe sleeping a night over it would help you sort things out. Maybe you would be open to share more in the morning. Exhaustion was written all over your face and after you finished eating you thanked the man next to you yet again.

“You know what? You look tired. My daughter isn´t here for the night anyway so you can sleep in her room. Here, I´ll show you the way.” the two of you went over to a narrow hallway. One that was decorated with many pictures. Coming to a halt in front of them, you spoke up, this time your voice was not a whisper.

“Is that your daughter?” your eyes were trained on a picture. Dan with a blonde woman and a young girl with pretty dark hair. After hearing your question, he went back over to where you were standing, looking at the same picture. That was a while ago on one of his daughter´s birthday parties.

“Her name is Trixie.” he stated proudly. You could tell he loved being a father. This realization gave you a small sting in your heart. Had your father never been proud of you? Why did he abandon you right after you were born? That was not fair. Anyway, none of this was Dan´s fault so you tried to keep your emotions at bay.

“She´s beautiful.” again, your voice grew more silent. It was more of a mumble. “And the woman next to you? Is she your wife?” you had to admit that the three of them looked like a cute family. All of them were smiling from ear to ear, happy to experience this moment together. Forever captured in a picture. Displayed on the wall so each time you walk by, you were taken back to this exact moment.

“Ex-wife to be exact.” his statement made you look up at him, guilt shown.

“I´m sorry, I didn´t think...I-I shouldn´t ha-” your sentence was cut short.

“It´s fine, really. We´re still good friends. We might not be in a relationship anymore but we care for each other and we work things out together. Especially for Trix.” the usage of the nickname made you smile slightly. Your previous wave of guilt washed away by pure adoration for this family. They still managed to live a happy life, even after everything they had been through. Truly remarkable.

Dan showed you the bathroom, told you where the towels were and brought you to Trixie´s bedroom. It was huge and gave you some sort of comfort.

“I hope you can sleep in her bed. You know, everyone is used to different, um, well...mattresses.” you giggled at his attempt to start another conversation. You were never really a quiet person but after everything that happened today, you were rather exhausted and not really in the mood for long, meaningful conversations.

“The bed´s just fine. Thank you, really. I appreciate it.” the words came out in a soft way, making Dan realize that you simply wanted to go to sleep. If he just gave you space you would warm up to him, right?

“Well then. Sleep tight. I see you in the morning before work. Trust me, my pancakes are out of this world.” he excitedly told you. The smile never left your face. You wished him a good night and he closed the door behind him, leaving you alone in this room.

Falling backwards into the soft bed, staring at the high ceiling, you left out a long sigh. How did you even end up here? Where was your confidence the other angels used to get annoyed by? Why were you so small, so broken, all of a sudden? Maybe it was the realization that today was the first time you were truly alone. Michael would not come by to spend time with you. There would not be such things as game nights anymore. Were you missing the comforts of heaven already? No! You wanted to leave and it was the right decision. God could not tell you what to do anymore. Besides, Dan treated you like a normal being. Not like a special, fragile angel. All you needed was some time to get settled in. That was a normal reaction. After spending (Y/A) years in heaven, of course you would take a bit to adjust. Tomorrow, everything would be much easier already. Changing into a shirt and sweatpants that Dan gave you, you climbed under the soft covers. No matter how hard you tried to keep your eyes open, they continuously felt heavier. Soon after you were fast asleep.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (09/07/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @fandomqueen2003, @natashaashleymarvelromanoff, @severewobblerlightdragon, @tenderlyunlikelyexpert, @zoseph, @comicbucky-s, @dad-ee-drea, @xbarrjallenx, @marvelofwitch, @aceofspace95, @julessbrown, @thevelvetseries (let me know if you want to be tagged <3)

[laceymorganwrites]

For the followers event, Dabi and the song Paradise Lost from Hollywood Undead, and since I’m here, Dabi is my favorite because he somehow see his world like I see ours in a way :3

A/N: hehehehe pls the amount fo serotonin I get every time I get to write for this man. Sigh, I´ll miss this when I´m gone. Anyway, I hope you´ll enjoy this piece!!

Word count: 1,119

Warnings: MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FROM THE FIRST LINE SO I´LL PUT THIS UNDER A CUT, swearing, sadness, denial of ur own happiness, I swear I wanted to make this fluffy >.<

You have known Rei for a while now, just starting working at the hospital when she got there.

She was always the patient you looked forward the most, though you did make quite a scene when she arrived.

Just being out of med school you were maybe a bit too kind hearted as you noticed.

There was nothing wrong with Rei, she was in perfect health and not insane as everyone labeled her.

No, she was just a poor abuse victim no one took serious.

You never saw Enji personally, but if you ever did you doubted that you could hold back your anger directed at this man, though he didn´t deserve to be called that. He was scum. The worst on earth.

Rei liked you too. She was timid at first, wary. And you couldn´t blame her at all, you could understand better than anyone.

After all you were the only sane person in this shithole.

All the other doctors and nurses got paid not to say anything, to keep her in isolation. She didn´t get treated, she just got allowed some time in the garden outside, she got food and flowers delivered and only her family was allowed to visit her.

You really felt sorry for her, she didn´t deserve any of this happening to her.

Over the years you learned everything about what happened that day, about what went on in the family. You grew more disgusted by Enji and the hero society by the day.

You spent more time with Rei than you were allowed to, but nobody minded, not seeing you as a threat.

Touya visited her too, but only in secret, at night when security was weaker.

Rei was more than glad knowing he was alive, never once judging him for the path he has chosen, it was quite the opposite, she supported every one of his decisions.

She told you about him and him about you. You´d be a liar if you said you weren´t curious about him. You only knew the man from the TV and under a different name.

And so Rei called you to her when he visited again, talking to you until he arrived.

Touya came through the window like every other night and just raised an eyebrow at your presence.

“Uuuh… (Y/N), right?” he pointed his finger at you and smirked slightly.

“Hello, you must be Touya, your mom told me a lot about you. It´s nice to finally meet you” you smiled at him and it was the first genuine smile he received that wasn´t by his mother.

It was strange to be regarded as human, he hated the way he trusted you, he didn´t even know you and wishing to do so was just plain stupid.

The more time passed the more Touya told himself he only felt attached to you since you showed him kindness, that was all there was too it.

He was too scared to admit the truth.

A silly dream that could never be reality, a foolish thought, that was all it was.

Until you stopped him in his tracks one day.

“Hey, I´m on break right now, you wanna grab a bite to eat?” you asked, giving him that damn smile again that was just way too bright for your own good.

People with a smile like yours always got hurt and used. And it was always by people like him.

He hated it.

“Yeah that´s not happening” he told you, scoffing. It wasn´t really in a cold manner, just a very distant one.

Before you could even protest Touya proceeded to face you properly, sighing heavily.

“Look, you´re nice, alright? Too nice for a guy like me. Good people like you should stay away from people like me. Cause if they don´t they´re gonna get burnt. I´m going to die soon anyway, so why do you even bother? You shouldn´t get involved in me and much less care about me. Maybe it´s time you start seeing me as a villain rather than someone misunderstood. Cause I´m really not. I did everything I did because I wanted to, because I felt like it. Everything in my life was because of revenge and it always will be. Don´t try to fix me, don´t try to tell me you´re into broken men cause that shit´s more fucked up than my mind. I don´t know what you´re trying to achieve in going out with me but I can tell you it´s not worth it.” he told you earnestly, not letting you say anything to it and leaving again.

The next time you saw him it was on TV and his words came back to you, leaving a bitter aftertaste.

Maybe it was foolish from you to think that he felt the same way, maybe it was also foolish to think he could change.

But then again, you never wanted him to. You accepted him just the way he was and would always support him, didn´t you tell him time after time how important his mission was to you? How much he would change and how proud you were of him?

Touya never learned how to let people in his life, only how to push them away. And over time it was easier to say it was better that way than to actually try and face his feelings.

He was too scared of being hurt and abandoned to do that though, who could blame him for that? It was only logical after everything he´s been through.

However even more than that was he empathetic, too empathetic for his own good. He always put everyone else before him, neglecting himself all his life, his dreams, his desires, his feelings. They weren´t important.

He had no right living anyway, existing only as a walking corpse doing reckless things and desperately trying to make the world a better place while it antagonized him.

You were just unlucky to get caught up in it.

Touya wanted to save you too.

Save you from an unhappy future, save you from watching him die, from all the danger he would expose you to.

But in the end he just did what he always did: run away from his feelings.

It was what he did best, why would he do anything else? Why change his way of living now? He shouldn´t be alive in the first place, he was living on stolen time he didn´t deserve.

Besides you wouldn´t be able to love him since he had no valid existence anyway.

Touya only existed for revenge, he had no personality, everything was fake and shallow.

He just wanted to save you from the disappointment.

And yet he felt empty without you.

[mxndoscyarika]

Red Sunsets (Javier Peña x Chinese!reader) | Chapter 8: El Punto de Sucumbir

Author’s note: I don’t wanna give toooooo much away, but I just wanted to let you know that we’ve finally reached lucky number 8 👀 If you were here a couple nights ago, you proooobably have an idea of what’s going to happen, because I had asked a few questions related to ~kisses~, if you catch my drift. Let me know what you guys think!

Summary: Family fights, grudges, and determination. Those three things defined your journey as you navigated through the workings of the DEA. Getting in was hard, and catching Escobar was even harder. You joined Javier Peña and Steve Murphy in the hunt for Escobar, forming bonds and life lessons along the way.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist. 

Red Sunsets masterlist

Warning(s): food, Careless Whisper lol, physical affection, implied smut

“So where are you taking me, again?” you asked, looking out at the passing buildings. You didn’t recognize the shops and restaurants you’d passed. The sky was darkened to a royal blue, the last rays of sunlight already well below the horizon.

“One of my personal favorite restaurants in Colombia,” he answered. “They have good arepas, your favorite, and the owners are pretty friendly. I used to go there often before you came along.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “What happened after I arrived that made you forego your favorite restaurant?”

Shrugging, he said, “I guess you happened.” He scoffed at your pout. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You’re worth all the arepas in the world.”

You were thankful for the shroud of darkness, because you felt your cheeks grow hot and you bit your lip to contain your grin. “And you’re worth all the homemade dumplings.”

Javi chuckled softly, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. As usual, you had the perfect response. He could barely remember a time when he truly cared about flirting, or how the women of his affections responded. But somehow, every time, you managed to turn his tactics around on him.

It took every ounce of self control to keep his eyes on the road and his hands to himself. You wore a simple t-shirt and jeans, and what little makeup you applied only served to make your cheeks and lips look unbearably kissable.

He took a deep breath and tightened his grip on the wheel. More times than he wanted to admit, he’s caught himself reaching to hold your hand or rest his hand on your thigh. Thankfully, it was dark enough that you probably hadn’t noticed. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, you weren’t his. He hadn’t even worked up the guts to tell you how he felt yet.

“Hola Javier!” the owner greeted, her face lighting up. She wiped her hands on her apron and waved for him to sit down at a table. “Hace mucho tiempo que no nos vemos. Quién es ella, tu novia?”

Javi blushed, smiling sheepishly. While he couldn’t understand what Chinese shop owners said, you could understand Spanish as well as he did. “No no no, ella es una amiga. Nos conocemos del trabajo.”

The owner of the restaurant simply hummed in response and eyed you from head to toe, much like how a parent may analyze a prom date. “Pues, no te molestaré, okey? Cuéntame si necesitas algo.”

More than accustomed to eating family-style, you and Javi ordered a couple of the smaller entrees and a flan to share. Much like how Javi let you take the reins in local Chinese restaurants, you let him order the food and make small talk. You propped your head up against your hand as you watched him, a small smile perpetually on your lips.

The low moan that left your lips when you bit into a cheesy arepa was music to his ears. He wondered if you’d sound like that when you were kissed. Only when your eyes met did his train of thought come to a screeching halt.

Fighting back a blush, he busied himself with splitting an arepa stuffed with meat, beans, and cheese and sliding the plate over. You tried not to think about how he was so gentle. “Try this one, hermosa. I think you’ll like it.”

“You’re a man aiming for my heart,” you hummed. In your past relationships, you never had anyone treat you the way Javi did with his genuine eagerness. Not that you and he were on a date, you’d never called it that, but you couldn’t help but draw the comparison. You lifted the half that he offered and took a big bite, giggling when the grated cheese stuck to your cheek.

“You have a little bit of….” Laughing softly at your plight, he reached over and brushed it off with his thumb, the pad of his finger caressing your cheek. You fought the urge to lean into his touch and nuzzle your face into the palm of his hand. Javi was just being polite, right? It didn’t mean anything.

Javi drew his hand away and glanced down at his watch. “The movie should be starting in about 45 minutes, let’s start finishing up here and then head over to the movie theater.” He paused, then added, “Unless you feel like going home for a night in?”

“What’ll we do at home?” you wondered, wiping your hands with a napkin. “I’d love to have a night in, if that’s what you want. As long as I’m with you, I really don’t care.”

His heart skipped a beat at your words, though the logical part of his mind stamped down any hope he had. Was he just a friend that you wanted around because you were lonely? It’d been a long time since his last serious relationship, but he couldn’t imagine diving back in with anyone else. He just hoped you felt the same. “We could just relax, maybe turn on some music and just talk.”

“I never knew that Javier Peña would be one to ‘just talk,’” you quipped, smiling at him.

“I can be, with the right person.” He shrugged, picking up the singular spoon and scooping up a bite of the flan. Its amber caramel sauce glistened in the restaurant’s warm lighting. Smiling softly, he held it up to your lips. “First bite is yours, hermosa.”

Taking turns eating spoonfuls of flan, you talked about things ranging from family to favorite animals. Growing up on a ranch, Javi’s favorite animal was a horse, sparking your questions about his life back in the States. You only knew the little bits of information floating around the DEA headquarters, and you wanted to know more.

At first he was hesitant, but then he told you about his father and how he’d grown up in a small town. You listened quietly as he told you about Lorraine, and how they were engaged to be married over a decade ago. His voice grew soft as he recalled all the wedding planning and shopping they did, and how their families had all converged to help out. Apparently, they’d been the talk of the town. It made you wonder if he ever missed her, or at least missed Laredo.

It was no secret that you’d come from an immigrant family, one rooted in traditions both good and bad. Well, good and bad by American standards, of course. You couldn’t deny that your parents had noticeably different views from the parents of your friends, nor could you deny that it gave you a window to your family’s heritage. No culture was perfect, free of discrimination, but you could always learn from it. All you could hope was that you weren’t too damaged or different to be with him.

“Is this how you get all your women to go home with you?” you teased, swirling the spoon in the pool of caramel. “You buy them dinner and feed them dessert before sweeping them off their feet?”

Javi shook his head. “Just you,” he replied, his voice like velvet. Shivers ran down your spine at the implication.

---

The drive back home was quiet, the two of you donning faint smiles in the darkness. You couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said throughout dinner, the sweet words and touches. It was a different man sitting across from you, one that you normally only saw glimpses of previously.

You bit your lip and looked out the window at the passing buildings, hoping the cool night air would soothe the burning in your cheeks. What did his words mean? Why did he seem so embarrassed when the restaurant lady asked if you were his girlfriend? Were you truly just a work friend to him? If you were, why did he look at you like you hung the stars in the night sky? Why did he watch you with those dark brown puppy eyes that made your insides melt?

“We’re home, hermosa.” Javi’s voice interrupted your chain of thought as he pulled up to the apartment building. Before you could finish unbuckling your seat belt, he was opening the car door for you.

It felt like second nature to walk over to his front door and wait for him to unlock it. But something about it felt different this time, like it was more than just a friendly hangout on a weekend evening.

While Javi turned on a couple lights, you made your way over to his record player and flipped through his various vinyls. “Any music preference tonight?”

He flicked on a lamp. “Anything is fine, Y/N. Your pick.”

The sound of a familiar saxophone blared out from the record player, making him freeze.

You laughed at his startled expression and stopped the music before switching out the George Michael record for Foreigner. “Except this one? Don’t worry, Javi, I know what you like.”

Shaking his head fondly, he sat down on the couch next to you and watched as you scooted closer to rest your head on his shoulder. The lyrics of I Want to Know What Love Is filled the air as you basked in each other’s presence.

“What do you think you’ll do once we catch Escobar?” you asked. Realizing you just brought up work on a weekend, you cringed. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

Sighing, Javi shifted and replied, “I don’t know. I didn’t exactly let myself leave much behind in Laredo.”

“You have your father and your family ranch,” you suggested, playing with the blanket you’d draped over yourself. “And I’m sure you could find someone to be your sweetheart in the States. After all, you’ll be the man who took down Pablo Escobar.”

“And what about you?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. He tried not to dwell too long on your assumption that he’d want to be with someone from Laredo when he could be with you. “What will the magnificent Y/N L/N do once this is all over?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’ll continue my work in the States. Maybe set up a research lab of my own to study other drugs. And maybe I’ll stop by my parents’ house and see if they’ve forgiven me.”

“Well, if you ever need somebody to tell them how great you are, you know where to find me,” he said, smiling shyly. You felt warm as he continued, “You’re an amazing agent, and an even better friend. Anyone who doesn’t see that can fuck off, in my book.”

You laughed softly at his boldness, even if you knew him well enough that he wouldn’t insult your parents to their face. It was the thought that mattered.

But as you sat there, your hand resting in his and your cheek on his shoulder, you couldn’t help but wish that you could stay like that forever. The early morning drive to work with Javi, the casual lunch breaks, dinners, and late nights all made you wish you were together. You rarely felt like you belonged anywhere, but in his apartment? In his car? His bedroom? You felt safer than you ever did back in your hometown.

“Thank you, Javi,” you murmured, your voice barely audible over the music.

“For what?”

For being there for me, you wanted to say. For seeing the best and worst parts of me without shying away. For making my coffee just the way I like it every day in the office. For staying with me after I woke up in the hospital. For having my back out on raids, and checking my vest to make sure I didn’t forget anything. For listening to me when I go off on tangents about my culture.

“Everything,” you answered softly. “For putting up with me, I guess.”

A smile graced your lips as he slipped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. “Anything for you, mi amor.”

You furrowed your brow and looked up at him from your slouched position. “What did you call me?”

His soft brown eyes met yours, the outer corners crinkled just slightly as he gazed at you. You hadn’t realized how close you were until you could feel his warm breath against your nose. Your eyes trailed from his beautiful eyes down the curve of his nose to his plush lips. Up close, you could see the small crease in the center; it was as if he were perpetually pouting.

“Mi amor?”

Unable to resist the magnetic pull any longer, you and Javi met in the middle. Your lips slotted against each other, a soft sound escaping you as he cupped your cheek and kissed you fervently. His lips were softer than you’d imagined, his mustache tickled your upper lip. You could kiss him all night, if he let you.

Warmth bloomed in your chest as you moved to straddle his legs, hands wandering up from his chest to play with his brown locks. You’d always wondered what it would feel like to run your fingers through it, drawing soft groans from the man beneath you. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as you pressed yourself against him.

His arms wrapped around and held you close, the weight of his hand settling on your upper back. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. You gave him one last kiss before pulling away for air, your noses brushing against each other. Smiling, you gave him a peck on the tip of his nose.

“Do you want to stay?” Javi asked, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes searched yours for any sign of regret, of realizing that you’d made a big mistake.

You nodded and leaned in to press your lips to the crease between his brows. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me, cariño.”

He hummed softly against your neck, nuzzling his nose against your pulse point. “Is it too late to tell you that I really like you?”

“Maybe,” you replied, sighing as he sucked lightly at your skin. If he left a mark, Murphy would never let you live it down. But somehow, you didn’t care. You ran your fingers through his hair, making it stick up in some places. “But I’d rather you show me instead.”

The walk to his room was well-practiced from your days living with him, but knowing that he was following you made a shiver run down your spine. Everything about his bedroom was familiar, yet new. You wondered if you were dreaming, if this was just another cruel figment of your imagination after a long day of work.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to,” Javi said, wrapping his arms around you from behind when you stopped at the foot of the bed. Your hands covered his, caressing his knuckles. “We could always wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.” You turned around and pulled him into a deep kiss, your hands sliding down to rest on his chest. “I want you, Javi.”

Translations:

“Hola Javier! Hace mucho tiempo que no nos vemos. Quién es ella, tu novia?” Hello Javier! It’s been a long time. Who is this, your girlfriend?

“No no no, ella es una amiga. Nos conocemos del trabajo.” No no no, she’s a friend. We know each other from work.

“Pues, no te molestaré, okey? Cuéntame si necesitas algo.” Well, I won’t bother you, ok? Let me know if you need anything.

“Hermosa” Beautiful

“Cariño” Sweetheart/darling

“Mi amor” My love

Tagging:

Permanent taglist: @cinewhore​ @randomness501​ @pedropascalisadilf​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @catfishingmorales​ @halfwaythereroyal​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @talesfromtheguild​ @tortles​ @ladamari68​ @theokatcov @snivellusim​ @starryluce​ @inked-poet​ @this-cat-is-dea​ @shewritesandplants​ @chews-erotically​ @thefandomimagines​ @emesispo​ @mindless--ramblings​

Red Sunsets taglist: @engineeredfiction​ @reylo-hope​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @geistbuster​ @far-too-tired-to-exist​ @faiinal​ @promiscuoussatan​ @thewaythisis​ @earl-01​ @honestlystop​ @chaotic-noceur​

Let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist!

[amindofstone]

Hypnos- Chae Hyungwon

{

a/n: For better reading keep in mind that the words in italic are Hyungwons train of thoughts.

Genre: Fantasy (ancient greek gods)

Words: 2508

Info: I won´t be writing this and the other six stories fully based on the actual mythological gods and their myths. I will be making changes or only taking aspects that are fitting the ideas I had for each imagine.

Warnings: None (maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m trying to improve.) Have mercy)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me please if this is shared or published in any other platform. Picture is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. !!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inspired by @monxhours (IG) ♡

}

It was 9 am when the god woke up what was quite unusual and would make anyone worried. No matter if he was related to him or not. The god would make anyone ask him if he is alright or needed anything because he is not the type to wake up early or stay awake for too long. And today was a day like that. A day his mother probably would come and worriedly check up on him since he never wakes up before 11 in the morning. But neither was his mother knocking on his door nor any other god what was making him happy and feel at ease.

You see Hypnos had a habit. A habit of always keeping his eyes closed for a while whenever he wakes up. Him keeping his eyes closed does not mean that he is planning to go back to sleep. No, in fact he just likes the calm silence every morning brings. Back at home he does not have that calming silence he loves and enjoys so much since Hades always sends one of his hellhounds to wake him up. One could be thinking that he does that to annoy the young god since he knows how much he loves sleeping but that´s not the case. Hades simply loves the boy and enjoys his accompany a lot which why he always invites him over for meals. Even his hellhounds he sends to wake him up love him to the point that they simply sit in front of his bed until he wakes up. And when he does so, they wait until they get a sign from him that allows them to crawl up to him and cuddle with him. Hades hellhounds are aggressive creatures that don´t know love, peace, mercy or sleep. But when it gets to him they do. They enjoy his presence because he can make them feel calm and feel at ease what sometimes irritates the other gods since he has such a power over the hellhounds.

Hypnos kept his eyes closed and focused on his breathing and his heartbeat for another hour and sat up with a satisfied smile on his lips. With a sigh he stood up and walked into his bathroom to take a warm shower and to get ready for a late breakfast. On days like these where he wasn´t home he would usually call his brother Changkyun to have breakfast with him but he decided not to do so and have it on his own. It was Monday and for humans a busy day. A day some like but some other hate if not even despise.

The day went by and Hypnos lazily decided to do nothing and just wait until it gets dark again. The time period of life he likes the most. It was not because he could sleep in peace at that time no it was because he could see other people sleep but mostly see them dream.

Dreaming is a beautiful state of unconsciousness. A state he loved to be in and experience over and over again. No matter if it was him dreaming or others. Something he thought was sad and always made him get lost in his thoughts was the aspect of knowing that there are humans who simply couldn´t dream. People who couldn´t experience the beauty of dreaming and it´s power. The thought about that always filled him with sadness. But lately there was something that made it even worse. Something that had the power to replace the happiness he always felt in his heart and soul fill with pure sorrow and pain. So he was waiting again. Again for it to get dark again so he could go to the same place he went yesterday night. A place he visits every two days since a few months now. You´re probably wondering where he always goes at night and what made him sad to this point? You might be confused on why a god, someone who has everything and is everything one can dream off, can be filled with so much sadness. A god might be an eternal creature. A majestic creature filled with power, wisdom and wealth but that doesn´t mean that they don´t have feelings and needs too. In fact you might not believe it but they even cry. And that’s what Hypnos did a while ago too. He might be someone with a huge pride and ego but at that time everything flew away in a blink of an eye.

Slowly the time was passing and the day was preparing to come to an end. The sun was slowly setting and sending its last rays of light into the young gods bedroom in which he was sitting in his bed with a cup of hot coffee. With him slowly emptying his coffee and the sun giving his last farewell the day finally came to an end and he prepared to get ready.

Should I wear something comfy or classy? He went through his wardrobe and decided to wear a simple but at the same time elegant looking outfit. Black jeans, black turtleneck and a beige coat with a few gold accessories. After looking at the mirror for the last time he left his house. Locking the door to his front he took a deep breath before he made his way to New York. In a blink of an eye he changed places and was now standing on the roof of the empire state building while looking down at the busy streets of New York. Should I get her something? Maybe some sweets? She has a sweet tooth anyways and might get happy. After getting some sweets and some snacks for himself he made his way to her. But this time he decided to move just like a human. He took the subway and observed everything and every person around him. While doing so something caught his attention and made him realize in what kind of a generation he exists now. Wherever he looked people where busy looking at their phones and taking pictures here and there. No one was really smiling and enjoying themselves like they should be. But how on earth was he supposed to tell them that they are wasting their time. Time that was precious. Time he gave them. Time he gifted them the day they were born with the hope they might do something productive and useful with it. But he was wrong. Even miserably wrong to a extend he even regrets giving them that much of a time. Sometimes he just can´t help it and finds himself running into Hades or Apostros palace just to complain and give them a list of people that never seems to end. A list of people he gives them and tells them to take their lives because they don´t deserve it.

With a sigh he got out at the station he wanted to drop off and started to walk until he arrived at his destination. After a thirty minutes walk he arrived at the place he wanted and stopped in front of huge white gates. At the left of the gate there was a doorbell he pressed on it for exactly three seconds just like he was told. Just right after he let go off it the voice of a man filled the empty street he was standing on. “Who is it?”, Hypnos cleared his throat and spoke with the gentle voice he shared with his beloved mother the goddess of night, the Nyx. “Chae Hyungwon here.”. Just right after he said his name the gates where opened and he could enter the property.

Surely was Hypnos his name because that was what he was. Hypnos the god of sleep, illusion and time. The god humans adored and respected just like all the others but he didn´t wanted to be called like that by his friends nor the other gods. No matter if they were his relatives or not. He wanted to feel normal when he was around them. So he decided to visit Zeus and talk with him. At the Olymp he made his way to the palace of the godfather to find him in his office. He sat down in front him and told him about his small concern what made the godfather laugh and call his wife Hera. “Look love. Our Hypnos finally came too.” He said and gave him a fatherly smile. The young god was confused until Hera explained to him that his friends came way earlier than him to talk with Zeus about that. He came five years after them what made him wonder if you would ever come too. Hera even told him afterwards that Zeus even was betting with Poseidon on it and made even the other gods curious. The names of his friends were all chosen by Zeus himself what made the others think on what name he would give the well-known and loved Hypnos. And Zeus did not disappoint anyone with the name choice. Chae Hyungwon.

With a genuine smile on his lips he walked past the little waterfall with the stature in which Hera the godmother was portrait and made his way to the front door of the orphanage that was opened by the director himself. “Good evening Mr. Chae. How was your day?” asked the middle aged man in front of him. “Thank you it was quite pleasing. How about yours? Tiring as always?” The man in front of the god shook his head and smiled. “Surprisingly it was quite calm so I could finish a lot of work. I’m really thankful for the new educators.”, “That´s great to hear. Tell me is Rosalie still awake?”

The director nodded and told him that she was at the backyard sitting at her usual spot at the swing. Hypnos thanked the man and left to find the little girl he was thinking about the whole day again. On his way there a lot of little children greeted him and made sure that the smile he had on his lips only grew. After he made his way to the backyard where he found the little five years old girl he stood a bit aside from her to listen to her daily evening talk with her parents.

“…and then I was about to win but it was Marks turn before me so he won. Although I did really well this time… You see that wouldn´t have happened if you would be here with me. You could have helped me to win you know. But it´s ok. I learn to win without you.” Hearing the little girls voice tremble while talking broke Hyungwons heart into million pieces. He was the god of time but not even he was able to turn back time to save her parents from the death. Once the fate of one is written down absolutely nothing can change that. If only he could tell her how sorry he was. “Rosalie?”, he softly spoke and made a step towards the little girl to not scare her. Hearing his voice she wiped her tears away and turned around to look into his eyes. He thought that she would be smiling and get happy by seeing him but sadly that was not the case. She ran into his arms and cried even more. “It´s mamas birthday and she is not here. Why is she not here Hyungwon?”. He took her into his arms and carried her to her room while telling her it´s okay to cry and that he was there for here. In her room he sat her down on her bed and wiped her tears away. “Want me to put you to bed and stay with you until you fall asleep?” in between little sobs she replied with a soft nod. He took off his coat and got her ready for bed. He brushed her teeth and changed her clothes. Finished and ready he carried her to her bed and lay down next to her himself.

“You see my little fairy. Sometimes things happen in life one can´t explain. Sometimes there will be changes in life that we can not understand or explain they just happen. You see humans are meant to leave this world one day. Some at a really young age and some at a really old age but they all leave and that´s ok. That’s alright. And it´s also alright and understandable to cry when a beloved one leaves.”. Hyungwon softly talked to her while holding her in his arms and brushing through her hair. “But why did they left me behind then? Do they not love me anymore?”, she asked the god and hid her face in his chest while her eyes got teary again. “I can only assure you that they loved you and still do. Even more than you loved them or ever could. They are your parents they only want the best for you. They might be not here with you anymore but they still are in your heart and mind. And they are here with you right now in this room you just can´t see them because they are angels now who have the task to take care of you no matter what happens. And beside that you will forever and always be able to feel their love and affection when you promise to keep them in your heart forever. Will you do that little fairy?”, he asked and made the little girl look up to him in his eyes. “I will forever because I love them.”, she answered him while a few little tears streamed down her red cheeks. “That´s right. Now it´s time for you to sleep and say hello to your parents in your dreams. Wanna do that? I’m sure they are waiting for you and wondering why you didn´t came yet.” Rosalie looked him in the eyes with confusion what made him laugh. “Sleep and you´ll see what I mean. But don´t forget to congratulate your mother on her birthday from me and make sure to tell your father I said hello.” Hyungwon knew that the little girl was still confused and wanted to ask him questions but he didn´t let her start and made her slowly drift into sleep. He put a tender and loving kiss on top of her head and slowly stood up from the bed and put on his coat. Before he left he made sure she was tucked in properly and stroked her cheek softly for the last time. While putting the few hair strands that fell on her face behind her ear he whispered a soft “Good night fairy.”. He put the small pack of candies he brought her on her nightstand and made his way towards her door when he heard her quietly say ”Mama. Hyungwon said Happy Birthday to you.”

With a smile on his lips and a few tears of joy and satisfaction leaving his eyes, he left her room and the orphanage behind just to go and give his own beloved mother a visit

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.6.2 “How Jean Can Become Champ”

I’m sorry if some of this is muddled, I wrote some of this post to avoid doomscrolling yesterday (not that it worked). It’s also long.

First of all I gotta say, I do love how Hugo manages to get everything to slot into place, when he doesn’t use his handwavy magic. The chapter opens with Madeleine settling some “pressing business of the mayorality” just in case he decides to go and collect Cosette from Montfermeil himself. Obviously this doesn’t happen, but the fact that he’s arranged stuff in advance means he’s able to go to Arras etc and mayoral matters are settled even when he’s revealed his true identity.

Hugo calls Javert “this savage in the service of civilization, this odd mixture of Roman, Spartan, monk, and corporal.” I’ve always assumed the term “savage” was another reference to his Romani ancestry, as well as his origins within a jail. The rest of the references have to do with different types or levels of self-discipline and sense of duty. Essentially, this phrase is saying that Javert carries his sense of duty with him everywhere and rarely strays from it. I’ve nicked this straight from the wikipedia page on Roman pietas, but I feel like it fits so well: “A Roman with the virtue of pietas did not leave his religious duties at the door of the temple, but carried them with him everywhere, following the will of the gods in his business transactions and everyday life.”

"His whole being expressed abasement and steadfastness, an indescribably courageous dejection.” Weirdly I love this description. Javert hates being wrong, but to admit it is to  act justly and according to duty, so he does it. Which is just so interesting because he could easily not even bother to tell Valjean about any of this, and just go on with his life as normal, and Valjean would be none the wiser. But that’s not how Javert functions. The difference between himself and other cops is that his sense of duty and justice extends to himself, which he says much more directly later on in the chapter. I just like that this description includes both his steadfastness to duty and his humiliation and self-frustration at being wrong and admitting it. “Courageous dejection” is such an interesting phrase, but it makes sense. It takes courage to admit you’re wrong, and even more when it’s something as egregious as informing on a superior.

Javert interrupts Valjean here, which I can’t decide what to think about. Part of me assumes that he interrupts Valjean because Valjean hasn’t even started to speak, so it’s still sort of....socially allowed for Javert to tack another bit of explanation onto what he just finished saying. Part of me wonders if Javert feels okay about interrupting Valjean either because he assumes he’s going to be dismissed anyway, and so this small rudeness of interrupting a superior doesn’t really matter, or because despite his sense of duty, he still feels quite a bit of aversion towards Valjean (which Hugo tells us a paragraph prior) and so is less bothered by interrupting him due to his dislike. Either way, it’s interesting that Javert is so keen on duty and correct conduct and yet he interrupts Valjean here.

“...you were severe to me the other day, unjustly. Be justly so today.” Wow okay so. Javert directly disobeyed and contested authority, argued with Madeleine and attempted to undermine his command to let Fantine go. Madeleine reacted accordingly, sending Javert away. And yet Javert feels that this treatment was unjust. I think the reason he sees it as unjust is because he sees himself as defending the honor of a mayor or authority figure (as well as a well-to-do citizen, Bamatabois) against a lowly prostitute. Despite the fact that Valjean specifically defended Fantine and offered her help, he’s still going to see his defense of authority and justice as being in the right over Valjean’s empathy towards her. (Sidenote: I love that he says “the other day” even though Fantine’s arrest was almost two months ago.)

Again, we get another concrete passage of time. It’s been six weeks since Fantine’s arrest. She’s still in hospital. Hugo isn’t huge on indicating exact passages of time. Lots of “eh, about three weeks later” or “maybe four months ago” in this book. Also the absolute mess of the Thenardier boys’ timeline. Anyway, these continuous references to how much time has passed is important. Hugo wants us to know how long Fantine was a sex worker for, and now how long she’s been languishing in bed, still sick.

Javert lists off things that he recognized in Valjean. All of these make sense to me except “information you obtained at Faverolles.” When has Madeleine ever mentioned being from or going to Faverolles? The Hapgood translates this as “inquiries which you had caused to be made at Faverolles.” This makes it sound like he actively tried to find his family. Hugo specifically tells us that by the time Valjean left prison, he had forgotten his family entirely. And yet, it seems here as if he made an effort to find them, or find out what happened to them, once he had the means. What’s interesting to me is that Valjean would do that at all. Part of me says, well of course he would, he still cares about his family, and probably wants to know what happened to them, not to mention he has this thing about rose-colored glasses and probably was hoping he’d get some information despite knowing deep down that they were lost to him. But another part of me wonders why he would do that, considering that it could compromise his identity. Also I can imagine he might associate his past self, even his pre-bread robbery self, with his convict-Valjean self and his past as a “Bad Person,” so I’m not sure he would want to think about or associate with his convict self in that way. Just the idea that he maybe sent to Faverolles for information about his family is an interesting little piece of information.

We also learn that he has a leg that drags a little (and at the very end of the novel we learn it’s because he spent 20 years with a chain on that leg). Something that I’ve sort of written about before, when I reread the book in February last year, is how much information about Valjean we don’t get from Hugo’s narration. Despite much of the book being from Valjean’s POV (or Hugo looking over Valjean’s shoulder, which is how I always imagine it), Hugo always stays respectfully distant compared to his narration of other characters. The post I wrote was mostly re: Valjean’s true Thoughts And Feelings, but it also goes for a lot of his physical aspects and actions as well. Hugo doesn’t tell us about Valjean’s dragging leg when he describes him, Javert has to reveal that to us. We are told a lot of his aspects or actions through other characters interpreting him to him (wow jesus does that phrase make sense?) rather than Hugo showing/telling us while narrating through Valjean.

“He was very poor. Nobody paid any attention to him. Such people get by, one hardly knows how.” So my first thought is that this line is sort the opposite of what I talked about above. Javert knows how such people get by. Partly because he sees it every day, and partly because he grew up like that. While we just got evidence of Valjean remembering his past, this is evidence of Javert rejecting and forgetting his own. And my other thought is again how applicable this is to modern day. Cops, rich people, etc turn away despite knowing how hard poor people struggle. They know “how these people get by,” which is barely, and they know why and they know what can help or fix it, but they turn away and absolutely refuse to see it.

“Such people, when they are not mud, are dust.” This is such a pretty and poetic way of declaring such a gross opinion. But also it’s such an interesting pair of descriptors. When you’re poor the way Valjean was, or the Thenardiers will be, you are in a position to be blown away by society and by poverty, to be dirt that disappears and spreads far and wide with the gust of wind, and if you’re trying to locate a certain speck of dirt that you had been looking at before the wind blew, you wouldn’t be able to identify it. Or you’re in a position to be bogged down, to be stuck packed together, trying to survive, begging and stealing off of others around you because there’s no other way to survive, being stepped on and scoffed at by people in a better position than you, and then scraped up and tossed in a gutter or the galleys when it gets to be too much.

We get an age! Valjean is fifty-four. I feel like this is important mostly for his hair later on. Fifty is old enough to be greying but I think this makes us aware that he’s not yet old enough to be totally white-haired, and the change is a shock for that reason as well.

Holy shit this is the most adjectives I’ve seen used to describe a single character within a single chapter so far. Words describing Javert or Javert’s actions in this chapter: respectfully, conscientious, clearheaded, straightforward, sincere, upright, austere, fierce, violent, soldierly, cold, patient, genuine humility, tranquil, resigned, serious, calm, gloomy, sad, abasement, steadfastness, courageous dejection, solemnity, incorruptible, supplicating, simplicity, dignity, unenlightened, stern, pure, desperate, resolute, bizarre grandeur, oddly honest. The biggest takeaway from all of these, I think, is how much Javert’s pious loyalty to justice and morality is not corrupt, at least in the usual sense. It’s misguided, it’s unsympathetic, but he genuinely believes in his own actions. He is aware of his severity, but he doesn’t see it as cruelty, he sees it as justice. He doesn’t acknowledge the evil of his actions because he doesn’t see them as evil. He is (and I want to go into this later for 1.8.3) a personification of the “evil of good,” and an illustration of how justice can go too far. But he does everything with that air of honesty and cold dignity, because he genuinely believes that his morals and his dedication to justice is in the right.

“And now that I see the real Jean Valjean, I do not understand how I could have believed anything else. I beg your pardon.” So we’ve already established that Javert does not change his mind or admit wrong easily. We also already know he doesn’t like Valjean anyway. The only reason, it seems, that he is admitting to this mistake and asking for dismissal, is because of Valjean’s position of authority. Javert does not do mercy; once he believes someone is bad, they are forever bad. The exception is those in power, those who he sees as authority figures, even when he questioned them just a chapter or two earlier. His sense of duty overrides his morality. Which I think is a major point for him. This is what screws him over later on at the end of the book. When his morality drastically changes, he can’t change his sense of duty to fit it. The issue in this chapter a mistake which is fairly excusable: there is another person he can transfer that moral judgement onto (Champmathieu) and Valjean’s position as an authority figure overrides any of the moral suspicions Javert had about him before this transfer of moral judgement. If Madeleine-Valjean had been just a regular merchant, I wonder if Javert would have admitted to his identity mistake but also continued to be suspicious, simply because his instincts told him that if you think someone is bad, they’re probably bad.

Oh okay so this actually potentially answers my question from last chapter. Javert says “Scaling a wall and theft includes everything. It is a case not for a police court but for the superior court.” So does that mean the police could just toss people into prison for however long they liked if the crime was a misdemeanor?

Javert mentions that the police have not found Petit Gervais. I mostly want to note this because Hugo told us earlier on that Valjean gives money to every Savoyard that passes through M-sur-M and asks their name, and it seemed to imply that in doing that he’s maybe secretly hoping Petit Gervais will turn up. If Valjean hasn’t found Petit Gervais yet, I doubt the cops will.

Javert fundamentally misunderstands how Valjean is sly and cunning. Because Valjean is quite clever and cunning, but the difference is nearly all of his cunning comes not from direct lies or playing dumb the way that Javert is implying, but by using his surroundings and other people’s assumptions to his own advantage. (Plus disguises and wigs, but we don’t see that until Paris.) He buys himself time through things like the fake address trick during the Thenardier encounter, or wandering and disappearing into the woods like Boulatruelle observed, or taking advantage of incomplete information, like becoming Fauchelevent’s brother or burning his passport and becoming Father Madeleine. Valjean’s whole thing is being able to very quickly scan a room, register things, and then adapt and/or react to his situation quite quickly. (Side note: What’s interesting to me is that he’s great at adapting and acting when it comes to action but he is rather stilted and slow when it comes to emotional reaction or adaptation.)

“...tell her to make her complaint against the carter Pierre Chesnelong. He is a brutal fellow, he almost crushed this woman and her child.” Whenever Hugo mentions carts there’s usually symbolism there. In this case it sounds to me like a parallel of Javert, Fantine, and Cosette. At this point, Fantine is still alive though very sick, and Valjean is planning to go to Montfermeil himself to get Cosette. Javert’s imprisonment of Fantine would have destroyed Cosette along with Fantine, just as Chesnelong’s cart nearly crushed Mme Buseaupied and her child. She gets to make a complaint, she has the potential for Chesnelong to be punished. Fantine doesn’t have that, not to the same extent. She dies before it could happen anyway, but even if it could, she’s a prostitute who would be complaining against a cop, there’s not a lot of power on her side, even with Valjean vouching for her. But at this point, she’s only been “nearly” crushed; her child will be with her soon, at least she get that reunion despite being mortally ill, and Javert’s punishment for nearly crushing Fantine and Cosette is, weirdly, Valjean’s refusal to acknowledge his sense of duty and dismiss him.

“Besides, this is an offense that concerns only me.” This almost exactly parallels Valjean’s comment on Fantine insulting him: “The insult is to me. I can do what I please about it.” This is the second time that Valjean has denied, to his face, Javert’s sense of justice and duty by claiming offenses as a personal matter rather than a judicial one.

“In my life I have often been severe to others. It was just. I was right. Now if I were not severe toward myself, all I have justly done would become injustice. Should I spare myself more than others. No. You see, if I had been eager only to punish others and not myself, that would have been despicable!” I mentioned it above, but this is just so telling. Javert knows how severe he is, but he doesn’t see it as cruelty or lack of empathy, he sees his severity as totally in the right because it is for the good of justice. He especially sees it as good because he is willing to treat himself in a similar way. But this does make me wonder, like, would any treatment he got be as callous as the way he treats others? He’s a cop, and while he’s not the favorite of the other cops, he’s still an authority figure. So if he asked for others to be severe to him the way he had been severe to others, would they be? Or would they treat him better because he is or was an authority figure? Anyway, this line really establishes how entrenched in his own morals Javert really is. I feel like these lines here are the entire setup for his conflict and death at the end of the book. If he didn’t believe in treating himself with the same severity as others, the stakes wouldn’t be as high re: the consequences for letting Valjean go free.

Javert calls the defense of a lower person against a higher-up “ill-begotten kindness,” which I think is a really good indication of the way his view of justice works. Defending someone like Fantine, who has been beaten down and nearly broken by the system, isn’t empathy or charity to him, but kindness that shouldn’t be. He seems to think that in situations like this, the person who is being pardoned or defended shouldn’t be, and is sort of like gunning for special treatment by accepting that kindness.

“Good God, it is easy to be kind, the difficulty is to be just.” Maybe this is a weird way to look at this line, but I can’t help but think about Valjean’s conflict after leaving Digne when I read this. At that point, for Valjean, the difficult was in choosing to be kind, rather than choosing to continue to ride his old instincts that would lead to more crime. Javert learns at the end of the novel how difficult it is to be kind when all you know is being “just,” and it kills him. But here Javert equates kindness with moral leniency or maybe even moral abandonment, rather than with empathy and aid. To Javert, people who have done something criminal or morally bad cannot change and cannot be rehabilitated and will always be bad. Which makes me wonder what he thinks kindness actually is. What is Javert’s version of kindness, since he sees kindness in the form of aid or sympathy as reprehensible?

I wonder if Javert is thinking of Fauchelevent when he says, “I have hands, I can till the ground.” Would Javert have changed if he’d gone into labor work for a while, like Fauchelevent? Would work as someone who has no power over others have changed him?

Javert describes himself as a spy in a derogatory way. I think this is the only time he ever references spying in a derogatory way towards himself. However, he has been described as a spy or having spy-like qualities more than once by Hugo. For just a moment, he agrees with the narrator and reader about what he’s like, only it’s from a completely different angle. We can see that he’s “like a police spy” because he’s merciless and inflexible and generally unwilling to change any of his ways at all. He sees himself as “like a police spy” because he has breached a social contract and not only falsely suspected but reported on a superior.

A thought on Tome 1.6: I find it really interesting that despite the fact that this tome is titled “Javert,” it doesn’t include 1.5.13, which contains more of Javert’s narrative than 1.6.1 does. In 1.5.13, we see the drastic effect Valjean’s actions have on Javert, and the emotional turmoil he goes through in questioning authority the way that he does. And yet, that chapter is contained in “The Descent.” Instead, the Tome starts with “Now, Rest,” and Javert’s only role in this chapter is to write the letter to the prefect of police. So despite the Tome being titled after him, Javert is really only emotionally and narratively relevant for the second chapter. I would think that it might have been better to bookend the Tome with two chapters that were most relevant to him, 1.5.13 (which would be 1.6.1 then) and 1.6.2. Instead, 1.6.1 focuses more on Fantine’s condition which, though caused by Javert, doesn’t actually include or affect him at this point. At the same time, the last Tome was titled “The Descent.” This descent of Fantine’s levels out once she has fainted, which is a good transition into the next Tome.

[psychosistr]

Green-Eyed Monsters- Chapter 7

Summary: Dominic and Steelbeak need to talk through their issues after their rather tense mission. Fortunately, Steelbeak knows just the right way to start the conversation and has a trick or two up his sleeve to help smooth things over with his partner.

Notes: Alright, final chapter- time for that emotional reconciliation! xD This has been a fun piece to write and I hope you’ve all enjoyed it as much as I have :3

-First Chapter-

*knock* *knock* *knock* *knock*

Red eyes glanced up from the printed pages of the book they’d been focused on for a good hour or so. If it weren’t for the fact that the knock he heard was so familiar to him now, Dominic may have simply chosen to ignore it until he’d finished his page (though, honestly, he was tempted to do so anyway). With a reluctant sigh, the loon placed a bookmark safely within the confines of his latest novel and got up from the chair in his personal study to go answer his front door.

After getting a barely-coherent Steelbeak settled in his own apartment the previous evening, the two hadn’t seen or spoken to each other regarding their mission. Or, more specifically, Dominic had holed himself up in his apartment in an attempt to sort out his own feelings and insecurities before facing his partner again. Now, however, it seemed the other man was ready to talk, so the least the loon could do was have the courtesy to open the door and let him in.

…At least, that was Dominic’s plan until he opened the door to an empty hallway. Looking around in confusion, red eyes spotted something that could match them in color on the floor outside of his door- a pathway made of vibrant red rose petals connecting his doorway to the opened one next door.

Despite himself, a small smile found its way onto the fowl’s dark beak. He followed the path that had been so meticulously laid out for him and soon found himself in the other man’s home. The dimmable lights had been turned down as low as possible without impeding the loon’s vision, creating a rather ambient setting as the trail led him to the dining room he’d become quite familiar with after many meals shared in it with his partner. At the moment, however, it was a bit less familiar with the table and chairs missing and the only notable feature in the room being the rose petals that lined the edges of the floor.

Just as he was about to call out the other man’s name to see what he had planned, music started playing from the stereo in the living room with the volume turned up just loud enough to be properly audible from the dining room. Right on cue with the upbeat and sultry tango music that filled the air, the apartment’s prime occupant made his presence known.

Stepping in time to the beat of the music, Steelbeak entered from the dining room and winked at the other fowl. “Fancy runnin’ int’ YOU here~” The taller man was dressed in one of his usual button-up red shirts, bowtie, and black slacks, but was missing his white jacket and, instead, had donned a pair of white silk gloves- one of which held a red rose that he presented to the loon with a flourish. “Whattaya say t’ makin’ some sweet music with me, gorgeous?”

The small smile on the loon’s dark beak grew as he took the offered flower with a quiet chuckle. “What exactly are you up to, Steelbeak?”

With his hand now empty, the metal-mouthed fowl held the appendage out in a clear invitation. “Askin’ the prettiest bird here t’ dance with me, that’s what.” The invitation was accompanied by that ridiculous little eyebrow-wiggle the taller man did when he was being jokingly flirtatious.

Darn it, he knew it was hard for Dominic to stay mad when he did that. “I suppose one dance couldn’t hurt.” Carefully tucking the (thankfully dethorned) rose into his hair, one black feathered hand found its way into the white gloved one presented to him while the other rested on a broad shoulder. The thin silken barrier of the gloves was an interesting feeling in his hand and his side when the other found its mark, but he appreciated the other man’s apparent consideration for his comfort.

One dance soon turned into two. Then three. Then into so many more that it was hard to tell where one ended and another began. It all became one dizzying but pleasant rush of movement as the duo danced their way from a tango into a waltz and a litany of other dances to accompany the ever changing music.

Dancing with Steelbeak, Dominic found, was a different experience than he expected- though not an unpleasant one, by any means: Given his likely all-female list of previous dance partners, the smaller bird would have expected Steelbeak to instinctively take the lead and have his partner follow along. Instead, there was a sense of give-and-take to his movements- if Dominic let him lead, then he would lead, but if the loon moved to take charge, then the rooster would instantly follow without question. The position of their hands rarely changed- aside from when necessary for a spin or dip, of course- but it still felt obvious when they changed who was leading and who was following. It was a dance in which both parties felt equally in control and respected as the leader- a balance that wouldn’t work for all dance-partners, but was absolutely perfect for the two of them.

Several dances later, the pair found themselves swaying together calmly to the soothing melody of a piano piece. Dominic had relaxed considerably since the start of their dancing and was now far more comfortable with his partner’s hand on his waist while the thumb of the other caressed the back of his own hand in a subtle display of affection. “I wish you’d asked me to dance ages ago,” The loon admitted with a soft smile. “You’re quite good.”

The corner of the metal-mouthed fowl’s namesake quirked up in a half-smile at the compliment. “You ain’t half bad yourself, stripes.” As they swayed and slow-stepped together, Steelbeak’s smile fell slightly, turning into something a bit more serious. “Y’know, I’m pretty much a master at every dance out there.” Though he tried to make his words come off as a boast, the undertone of melancholy in his voice made it abundantly clear that was not his intention. “But, there’s still a few I don’t know…couple I’m still learnin’ the steps for..and…it’s weird for me- not knowin’ what I’m supposed t’ do..”

The metaphor was not lost on the darker bird, the other’s words causing him to give an understanding smile while squeezing the gloved hand he was holding. “Well then, you’re lucky that I’m a fairly skilled dancer as well. I’m sure I could help you learn the more complicated steps and take the lead when necessary.”

Dark grey eyes gazed down into the red ones gratefully as the soft squeeze was reciprocated. “That’d be great.” With a quiet sigh and a shake of his head, Steelbeak decided to drop the metaphors and just speak frankly with his partner. “Truth is, I’m just not used t’ this whole ‘boyfriend’ thing..”

“I know.” That made sense, Dominic figured. After all, it’s not like Steelbeak had ever dated another m-

“I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend before, y’know?” Huh…well…that wasn’t what the loon was expecting to hear, but he didn’t interrupt the rooster’s explanation. “I mean, sure, I bet there’s loads of chicks out there- and I mean LOADS of ‘em- that thought I was, but I never saw myself like that. It was dinner, drinks, a dance or two, back t’ my place, then a callback a few months later if I bothered t’ get their number t’ do it all again…not really what you’d consider a ‘boyfriend’ sorta situation..” A white-gloved thumb gently brushed over the black feathers of the hand within his grasp as he avoided eye contact with the shorter man. “This is probably the first time I’ve ever been serious ‘bout someone I dated…first time I’ve stuck around..so…I don’t know how all this ‘boyfriend’ stuff works- honestly, I just figure half of it out watchin’ you an’ followin’ your lead. If I make a mistake or do somethin’ wrong, I’m probably not gonna realize it ‘til ya TELL ME, and I know you’re embarrassed bein’ seen with me, but-”

“Stop.” Though his tone was firm, it was mostly so Dominic could make sure he had a moment to recover from the proverbial record-scratch he heard in his head accompanying his partner’s last words. Once that moment had passed, the dark hand that had previously rested on the taller man’s shoulder reached up to his face and tilted that deadly beak downward to make sure he had the rooster’s full attention. “You think I’m embarrassed to be seen with you? Why on earth would you think that?”

That thought was absolutely ludicrous. Sure, Steelbeak wasn’t perfect (who was?)- he had a destructive temper that could rival Dominic’s when things went wrong and he was pushed too far, his manipulative ways with women were aggravating (though, admittedly, he’d been getting marginally better since the loon’s discussion with him about how he treated Ammonia Pine), he was rude and bossy (with others, mostly- he now knew better than to try that with his partner), and had a sense of vanity and pride that could rival Narcissus himself- but not ONCE since the two had started dating did the thought of being embarrassed to be seen with his partner ever cross his mind. If, somehow, he’d given off that impression, then he needed to know exactly how he’d managed to do so and make sure he never repeated that behavior again.

Steelbeak seemed genuinely surprised by the sharp shooter’s questions and genuinely concerned tone, blinking down at him before recovering and explaining himself further. “Well..it’s just…ya never act like we’re dating in public, y’know?” When all he received was a questioning look prompting him for more, dark grey eyes looked around as if searching for the right words or examples to use. “How t’ put this……when it’s just the two of us, you’re okay with flirtin’, or holdin’ hands, or leanin’ on me, or-or even just sayin’ that we’re together.” The corner of his mouth tipped downwards ever so slightly. “But, if there’s anyone else around, then you avoid that sorta thing like it’s gonna get ya shot. Every dame I’ve been with was practically chompin’ at the bit t’ tell everyone I was her boyfriend after just one date, but you always make it sound like I’m your work-partner and that’s it. I’ve seen ya flirt with guys left an’ right and not have any trouble showin’ you were into ‘em; meanwhile, I’m stuck here wonderin’ if you’re not supposed t’ do that when you’re actually datin’ a guy? Is it somethin’ you’re just supposed t’ keep secret?” He shook his head before meeting the other’s gaze once more. “I’m not askin’ you t’ go throwin’ yourself at me when we’re out- think I’d be more freaked out by that than excited- but I don’t know what I’m supposed t’ do an’ it’s drivin’ me crazy.”

“That’s not…you didn’t- I never..” For a moment, Dominic was lost for words.

From the time he’d gotten his first boyfriend in high school, the loon had never been in a relationship that was anything even remotely close to public. Most of the guys the loon dated had been adamant about keeping the whole thing secret to avoid damaging either of their reputations; after many years of the same secretive charade, he’d simply gotten used to it being the status quo. Even with his fiancé, who was so very clearly proud of his relationship with his partner, Dominic had asked that they not tell anyone so that they could keep each other safe if anything happened- a request that the other man didn’t fully understand, but accepted anyway and made sure to make up for the lack of public affection the first chance he got as soon as they were alone. The idea of having a partner- of having a boyfriend- who actually wanted to be public about his relationship with the aquatic avian was new territory that was as exhilarating to explore as it was bone-chillingly terrifying.

Taking the darker fowl’s silence as hesitance, Steelbeak took a breath and sighed. “Look, if you don’t wanna tell no one, then that’s fine by me. I’ll follow your lead on this one. But- ” The hand that had been holding the loon’s so carefully until now finally let go, causing a pang of panic to jolt through the shorter man’s chest as he worried he’d upset his partner with his lack of a proper response. Before he could apologize, however, Steelbeak brought the gloved appendage to his beak and used the tip to carefully bite down on one of the fingers so he could easily pull the fabric away and free his hand. “-whatever ya want me t’ be in public, whether it’s your boyfriend or just your partner-” The glove fell carelessly to the floor as he spoke, giving him a chance to now use his beak to tug down the cuff of his sleeve just enough to fully expose his wrist. “-I’m yours. Whatever ya want that t’ mean, I’ll be fine with it, long as you still want me t’ be yours.”

Until that moment, Dominic had assumed the gloves were for his own benefit- a way to help him feel more comfortable with his partner’s hands on him while they danced. In reality, however, it seemed their purpose was to hide the still glistening dye on the lighter bird’s feathers.

On the inner side of Steelbeak’s left wrist, once blank off-white feathers had been skillfully painted and dyed with black and white ink to form a tilted image of a domino with two dots on one side and six on the other. Then, as if the iconic symbol from his hat wasn’t enough of a clue as to whom the painted feathers were referencing, the image was coupled with beautiful calligraphy on both the top and bottom in a mirrored style with the side closest to Steelbeak’s hand saying “Dominic” and the other saying “Domino”, both words accompanied by an elegantly curved underline to help them stand out as well as form a border around the domino.

To say Dominic was shocked would be an understatement, but to simply say he was touched by the gesture would be an even BIGGER one. The image was in a much harder to hide place than the rooster’s back- anyone could catch a glimpse of the loon’s name if Steelbeak’s usual long-sleeves happened to slip high enough and would be on full display anytime he wore  anything even a fraction shorter. He was making it clear that he was not ashamed of his relationship with his partner- with his boyfriend- and didn’t care who happened to see the ink or question its meaning. As if that wasn’t proof enough, there was also the length of time the markings would last: Once a bird’s feathers were painted, the ink would last for at least a year barring any significant damage to the area that resulted in losing all of the feathers at once (something Steelbeak would likely go to great lengths to avoid due to his own vanity). This was a clear sign of commitment from the nearly gamophobic man; proof that he was committed to making this relationship work and planned to stick with Dominic for at least a year.

With wide eyes and slightly trembling fingers, the loon reached out and gently traced the lines of the image. It felt dry, but the sheen to it suggested that it had only just recently reached that point. Steelbeak must have gotten it done that afternoon in order for it to set properly and give him time to get everything ready. The thought brought a soft smile to the darker bird’s face- this man really, truly cared about him more than any of his previous “dates” (calling them girlfriends would be far too generous) and wanted to make sure Dominic knew it.

Looking up into the other’s dark grey eyes, Dominic’s smile grew a little more. “While this is a lovely gesture, I’m not getting your beak painted on me. Sorry.” The statement earned a laugh from the taller man, as the sharpshooter predicted, and he seized the opportunity to hook a finger under the rooster’s tie, giving him the leverage he needed to bring the metal-mouthed fowl’s namesake close enough for a kiss.

“!!!” Steelbeak made a startled sound in the back of his throat clearly not expecting the sudden contact. Still, despite the clear surprise visible in his wide-eyed stare, he made no move to pull away or put an end to the intimate connection. By the time his tie was released and the shorter bird had pulled away just enough to give him a smirk that left him red in the face, his short-circuited brain had recovered enough to form a response. “So, uh….that’s on the table now..?”

“As long as it’s not while I’m angry at you or I’ve made it clear that I need some space, then yes, that is very much ‘on the table’.” Dominic couldn’t help but laugh at the flustered expression on his boyfriend’s face. That look was a precious sight and it was for his eyes only. “What? Did you really go into this expecting that we’d never kiss?”

A softer version of the lighter fowl’s usually grating laughter was accompanied by a shake of his head, the corners of his mouth lifting into that more genuine smile that the loon adored. “T’ be honest with ya, Deedee, I had NO friggin’ idea what t’ expect goin’ int’ this….but-” An ungloved hand reached towards the darker one nearby, waiting for an almost imperceptible nod of acknowledgement before carefully entwining their contrasting-colored digits together. “-I knew I wanted it, whatever that meant.”

Dominic’s own smile softened a bit at the warm feeling of his boyfriend’s fingers entwined with his and the subtle thump of a pulse that wasn’t his own felt through their touching palms. Whatever this would turn into one day, he knew one thing for sure-

“I want it, too. Whatever it means.”

<--Previous Chapter

End Notes: And so we come to the end and my favorite part of any emotionally turbulent story- the communication and resolution. I always enjoy seeing characters in a loving and committed relationship, but (to me, at least) part of what makes a relationship strong is being able to fight about something and work through it so that all parties involved feel heard and understood, so I try working that into my stories whenever possible. I hope you guys enjoyed this installment of the series and I can’t wait until I have the time/energy to add to it again x3

[mariamermaid]

God save the Prom Queen

Scot Cavendish (Locke & Key) x Reader

Summary: Your friendship with Scot has been suffering while the prom ball is coming up… Words: 1.8k

A/N: Requested with the prompt 26 “You were never mine, were you?” and 41 “I thought you liked me”

God save the prom queen

Teenage daydream

Just another dressed-up heartbreak

You had known Scot since your first year in kindergarten, you grew up to be best friends and even though you both denied it for years, your parents always said you grew up to marry each other. Maybe that was the spinning point why you started suddenly feeling different towards him.

Maybe it was realizing you could actually lose him.

It was hard to look in her eyes that day. You knew, it wasn´t Kinsey´s fault but that didn´t make it any easier. “Who´s taking you to the prom?”

Prom was weeks away, which didn´t stop any of the hormonal driven teenagers from planning it months ahead. Truly an event to remember. You had assumed you were going with Scot, you always did. But as Kinsey stood across from you next to the lockers, it hit you hard in the stomach and a gasp for air escaped your lips. He could´ve at least told you, you thought bitter.

“I don´t know if I´m going yet”, you pressed out, barely muttered and left her standing in the hallway of the slowly emptying school. You skipped the last period, fuck history, and then spent half of the time in the bathrooms trying to convince yourself that you were crying for nothing. And the rest of the time restlessly wandering home…

It had to be coincidence that you were stopped by none other than Brinker the next day, he asked you to go to prom. Was it Scot leaning closer to Kinsey against the lockers that made you say yes? The way he smiled at her? How he tried so hard to make her laugh? His lips brushing against her skin?

No.

Maybe.

“You´re going with Brinker to Prom?” It was Scot, hurrying after you in the cafeteria. As always, news made the round quickly and by lunch, everybody knew who your new arm candy was. It was one of the very first times, the whole school was talking about you. And despite your mind being focused on other things, it did feel good to belong to a more upper class for once. Scot, who had no absolute idea about your continuing struggles, tried his best to keep up with you and not spill his food. “But why him, Y/n?” You shrugged reluctant. There was a small part of you, that was very pleased by his shocked impression. At least for now, he was actually talking to you again. Since Kinsey´s arrival, your friendship has been suffering and the late night talks you used to have, changed into small talk between periods. “He asked.”

“You know he´s trying to get into your panties, right?” You stopped sighing in the middle of the large room. Your eyes fell to the table with Kinsey and Gabe, they waited for you and Scot, your stomach turned. No thank you.

“I don´t think it should concern you about who is in my panties”, you argued a little louder and decided to join none other than your prom date and his clique for lunch. The cafeteria had watched you interested and so noticed a few people whispering, but you couldn´t care less. Scot watched you leave his side, he couldn´t believe it. Brinker on the other hand, threw him a jubilant grin, while you sat down next to him. He leaned down to whisper in your ear; “Enough from nerd boy?”

In any other circumstance, you were down to fight anyone calling your best friend a nerd, a looser or anything else, but now? You felt so out of your body, that you kept quiet and did nothing but nod. Scot, who still stood in the middle of the cafeteria, his mouth slightly opened, was in a whole different dimension. He used to be at your side, always, but now it felt like you were living in two different worlds.

Looking at it, it was understandable why he decided to not tell you about the Key House and the things he experienced with Kinsey within the next weeks. It hurt you, because even though you chose to ignore it, you saw them whispering in the halls like the world was about to end. It hurt Scot, because you didn´t visit him at work anymore and when chatting with Kinsey´s brother, Tyler, he found out that you were visiting hockey games instead. And parties. To him, it was a natural instinct of protectiveness, you were younger than Brinker and he had a reputation for girls. You were never one to go out much, enjoying comfy evenings more than loud parties. But it did help you forget your worries, Brinker lazily talking to you about empty topics and you drowning liquor filled cups until everything felt as numb as your emotional state. In the beginning it even entertained you how much Brinker actually tried to get you, but you grew quickly bored. The topics weren´t the same with him, he was just another shallow figure at a full party of empty shadows.

Things didn´t change however until the prom was actually knocking at your door. Your lack of talking to Scot and with that also talking less to Gabe or even Kinsey, you didn´t know what had occurred. You didn´t know why Scot suddenly appeared alone, Brinker already pissed drunk hanging on your arm. But the people around you clapped when you arrived in a sparkling outfit with the school king at your side. It felt good just for once in your life to not be the nameless girl on the side, people knew who you were, they started talking to you after years of silence. You genuinely smiled until your eyes caught his. It felt like something shattering in your chest, you knew it that second. It was heartbreak and it was undeniable and slowly killing you.

It took however at least half an hour, before you actually got to talk to Scot. People continued to stop you, tell you how stunning you looked, tell you what a pretty couple you made, tell you lies about life. “Where´s Kinsey?”

It wasn´t like Scot hadn´t expected the question to hear, but out loud, it was like a punch in the guts. “We… We broke up.” You wondered when exactly things had gotten official between them, but then you remembered that you somewhat had a boyfriend of your own now. “Sorry to hear that.”

Silence. Your mind was blank, not even sure what to say. Scot´s mind on the other hand started rattling. Why had he come? He wasn´t in the mood to party. He didn´t have a date. He almost drowned in a cave. He missed you.

Just when he was about to open his mouth, the principal entered the stage. “The time of the evening has come! You all awaited this and the votes had been counted!” The crowd gathered closer to the stage and drawn in, you followed them. Scot stayed a few feet behind, his eyes darted on your head. He watched how your dress effortlessly moved with your body, he could´ve punched himself. It would have been a beautiful night if he hadn´t been stupid enough to ask somebody else but his best friend. In this second, he wanted to tell you everything. The Key House, the magical keys, the murder, a shapeshifting dodge and Kinsey wanting two boyfriends. He didn´t even know if you´d believe him, after all the story wasn´t some kind of fairytale. But there he stood, watching as your head softly whipped to the music, chatting to a girl while the principal held the rest of the speech. He knew he´d lost.

“As always, ladies first!” A closed letter was represented and fumbling around to rise the tension, the sheet of paper was finally opened.

“This year´s prom queen is… Y/n Y/L/N!”

Your mouth dropped and your eyes widened in shock. You never imagined, or even dreamed, about becoming prom queen! While people applaud around you, you walked onto the stage and the crown was placed on your head. It was a usual sight; you were an absolute a-student, not a cheerleader, not the typical it-girl. But due to Brinker, you made some connections, you met new people. It was what brought you a victory, the only one for the night.

It wasn´t a surprise that Brinker was then elected Prom King, both of you standing at the front of the stage, hand in hand, smiling widely into the crowd of faces. For you mattered only one face though, Scot. He tried his best to keep a small reassuring smile, at which he failed miserably. He clapped but there was no enthusiasm about his gesture. To your even bigger surprise, Brinker pulled you a little closer and kissed you in front of the entire school and for the first time you saw something real in his eyes. Was it sadness?

God save the prom queen

Only eighteen

Turned her tears to diamonds in her crown

“Dear Lord!” The principal mumbled, but didn´t stop the kiss from happening. “Well, then let´s get them their first dance as king and queen!”

Brinker guided you to the dancefloor while the soft tune echoed through the room, you were both quiet until more couples joined you. “You were never mine, were you?”

It was unexpected coming from him and you starred into his eyes, clear confusion. “I thought I could make you fall in love with me.” You opened your mouth, but he shook his head quickly. “No, it´s fine. It´s not your fault.” With his head he pointed towards Scot´s direction. He was leaning against a wall, eyes on the ground. “He´ll realize what he´s missing, trust me.”

You looked back at Brinker, a look of sympathy in your eyes. “I´m sorry.” He shrugged. “I guess it belongs together, heartbreak and prom, huh?”

It was the first real talk you had with Brinker, maybe he wasn´t as shallow after all. You bit your lip, you liked the Brinker he was right now. “Friends?” He grinned and nodded. “Friends.”

“Now go after him.”

Scot had left while you talked to Brinker and you had to run after him in the parking lot. “Scot!”

Your voice echoed and he stopped in his tracks until you reached him. You held up your dress to avoid dirt and a cold wind threw back your hair. He didn´t turn, his eyes still on the road to leave. “Why are not with your boyfriend?”

“He´s not my boyfriend.”

“Didn´t look like it.”

“Why did you and Kinsey break up?”

A lump in his throat held him back from answering. You took together all the bravery you had left in your soul and all the hours it had taken you to cry. “I like you, Scot. Not in the way I´m supposed to as your friend.” He finally turned to look at you, his eyes wide, but you couldn´t read his expression. “But I wanted to be a good friend, even if it meant letting you go and breaking my heart.” You took another breath, trying to stop yourself from shivering and shaking. The tears were already falling and it took everything from you to not lose your composure. But Scot stepped in, his hands cupping your face and pressing his lips on yours. For a split second, it was perfect. But you stopped the kiss, a sad smile on your lips. It wasn´t right. He furrowed his brows, clearly confused.

“I thought you liked me?” He asked whispering while you lingered just a little longer in his closeness. “I do.” You cleared your throat. “But I think we both need some time apart to figure things out, you just broke up with her. We need to learn to be friends, before anything else.”

He nodded understanding, knowing deep down you were right. “Wise words for a prom queen.”

[the-house-of-the-nine]

In Mind of Misery: Manipulation, Part 8

[ And so the journey begins.  Three Separate stories to tell here all happening Simultaneously.  Attacking from three fronts, is this the beginning of the end for The Nine?  Please Like, Share, and Follow us!   We are hoping to get new people coming our way, and could use the love! Thank you everyone!!!!! ]

Cast:

[ L.K ] -  Lazarius Kashebahl, Marseille, Raelyndia Duskhollow

[ P.K ] - Kretus Dark

[ V.D ] - Verzatea Duskflame, Pame Myl’Brin

[ J ] - Jursol, Jimba, Mawa

[ T ] - Talisin aka The Boy

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[ V . D ]   Verzatea had remained just behind Lazarius, but still at his side. Her patience was in tip top condition, equal to her curiosity as she listened closely and observed with great caution, documenting Lazarius's every word as he unraveled the mystery of the situation.

Where would they go? What was safest? The pause that followed the first initial thud would involve chills rolling down Verzateas spine, her golden irises leering into the darkness with confusion that swiftly turns into uncertainty with each increasingly loud boom. Pame had turned to inspect the back of the room, trying to pinpoint just where the noise had come from, eager to determine the threat level.

Though the huntress could feel the rising fear in her chest, her heart hammering against her rib cage until the fear reached an ultimate high with the gasp and horrified holler of the stone of a man.

At Mars's cry had Pame set herself to work, instantly facing forward to focus on the doors. She forced down the rising hysterics whilst adjusting the young  child so that he was slung over her shoulder similar to how Mars had carried him and made a mad dash toward the other end of the room.

Verzatea gave forth a soft whimper as it all unraveled, the sudden darkness and high tension mingling with the palpable fear had sent her battered mind back to an old time.. A flashback to a state of genuine horror-- one which distracted her when all fell to darkness.

She'd quickly reach to grab for the Inquisitor out of pure instinct, but since she realized he wasn't where she last saw would the fear only skyrocket. But it did rip her from that flashback, allowing Tea to refocus.

Even if she was borderline hysteric as Mars commanded to 'Find him'. How swiftly chaos ensued would never fail to unnerve the Confessor, her voice shouting her panic and frustration into the darkness:

"Hes gone!"

Pame had, by then, closed the distance between herself and the door without the sigil. She had made this decision based on the offhand comment from Lazarius about deducing it as the door to not enter. Feeling or not, Pame trusted Lazarius's words. And there really wasnt much time to decipher riddles, so she made a split second decision.

She'd swiftly slam the bottom of her left boot against the face of the door, applying all of her weight into this forceful kick in an effort to send the door flying open. Her night vision had done her wonders in the past, but as she turned to investigate the state of the group would her eyes catch the hideousness of the monster in question.

The kaldorei gave a soft exhale of disbelief, astonished by its size and grotesque hideousness. But she couldn't linger for long. Her eyes instantly set to searching for the Inquisitor whilst shouting back toward the rest of the group, her voice projecting in hopes to guide them despite the lack of vision.

"To me! Follow my voice, quickly! Marseille, Jursol, Verzatea!"

Pame had remained relatively calm. In truth, she was terrified. But hesitating would result in unnecessary death which, to her, would be dishonorable... Death should either come naturally, or after a hell of a fight.

And she didn't intend on dying that day, especially not this easily. Surely everyone else could share in her stubbornness, even if they dealt with the stress differently than her high functioning self.

[ J ]   Jursol was trudging on though the bloody mess without much mind, but something felt off. It was quite. Too quite. As they made their way up to several doors, she stopped and was allowing Lazarius to tell them what door to enter. There was literally no other way to go but though one of these doors.

Boom.

She heard the sound of something coming. Unsure of what it was as she turned her head toward the sound. More booms were heard. Jursol readied herself for combat as she hunched down with her pole arm in hand. Her attention turned to the Shal’dorei as he spotted something coming their way.

His sudden fear was cause for alarm as he ran. Her eyes widened as she saw a sight that was nothing she’d seen before.

“By da Loa! What is dat thing?!”

She yelled as she moved close to the others. Her raptors crowded around them best they could to protect them. Each one clearly frightened, but none giving up on protecting them. However as they saw Lazarius be engulfed by what seems to be tentacles, they moved closer to Jursol.

This was far from something they’d seen before. Even Jursol was backing up some from him. The sight of the beast coming was enough to cause them all to run. Each one likely panicked as they rushed to pick a door. Fear only grew as the touch was out out followed by the mans screams.

She heard the Shal’dorei saying that Lazarius was gone and that was cause for more alarm.

“Dis be bad Juju! We must be moving now or he gone to!”

Her voice was no longer calm.

“I be sure Lazarius be alive, but we can not be waiting here. Otherwise we be dead before we can be helpen him!”

Jursol heard the sound of the door being forced open as she and the raptors moved fast. It was hard to see with the sudden loss of the torch, but she followed Pame’s voice to the door.

“ENTER ... ALL WILL BE ANSWERED.... ALL SHALL BE RESTORED...”.

[ L. K ]   The booming voice called outward through the darkness; through the sounds of the insect like hissing and clicking, through the sound of the war drums thundering, and over the slithering wriggling charters of the enormous head crawling down the hallway.  

“Get the door open! Get inside!”

Marseille had thrown everything he currently had at the beast, daggers were embedded within its face muscles, protruding from the eyes above its teeth and even several in the sewn portions of its eye lids, and yet it would not stop.

He flipped his spoon and hatchet from his belt loop and began to ignite the arcanic tunes across his flesh. Once he was certain the others were in the room he would prepare himself.  His body tense, muscles spasmodic and surging with adrenaline.  

“Keep them safe Pame...”.

He thought to himself silently. And just as he was about to rush for the being and attempt to end it from haunting them even more, a thought slowly popped into his head.  

It was Siida, laughing, smiling at him.  His eyes welled and her voice sung through his mind.

“I did know you were bluffing, and I will hold you in my thoughts as I always do, keep them safe and return as you stand...not that I wouldn't enjoy tending to you should you ever need it."

He snapped back to reality as Pame called for them to follow her voice and he would immediate turn and race for the door.  Being the last one through he would enter and just as he turned to shut the door, the head spewed out from the hallway into the main room they were just standing in.

A wave of red insect like tentacles came surging forward from its body and tethered themselves around Marseille and began pulling him out toward the head that wriggled and flopped about with its jaws flapping.  

It’s teeth clashing against one another as it flopped like a fish on the deck of a boat.  Marseille was being dragged to his death.

He held tightly to the door jam, desperation in his eyes as he prayed his allies would save him before his death.

[ J ]   Jursol has no time to react as she saw shit hitting the fan fast. Her body reacted before she even thought about it. She made a mad dash forward towards Mars, her raptors remained back protecting anyone behind them.

They’d be snapping at anything that got near them. Jursol raised her pole arm above her body, lunged forward with a very loud amazon yell. Her weapon managed to remove one of the damned tentacles as she held onto him best she could.

“HURRY! WE DON HAVE MUCH TIME! GET DIS BEAST OFF HIM!”

Jursol was careful in her stance holding him, but was not about to just let him go without orders.

“BY DA LOA,  HURRY!”

She screamed as she tried to hold Mars leaning back to try and slow the beast taking him.

[ V . D ]   With a ferocious snarl the kaldorei bursts forward purely on instinct. With the freedom to aid in saving the life of their own, Pame lunged forth with precision and prowess, her swords deftly removed from their deaths on her hips.

As she lunged and gravity began to pull her back down mid-stride, the woman concentrates the entirety of her strength into her cleaving swings as both swords come down in wide arcs, the blades hacking into the tentacles with as much strength as she could muster.

[ L. K ]   Despite their best efforts, the beast would be fighting them every step of the way.  It was snarling and spitting and splashing the blood all over while Marseille struggled to remain hanging on.

Jursol had split one of the tendrils in half and Verza did the same; and just as it was expected to let go, a third that had wrapped itself around his torso pulled viciously.  

Marseilles fingers were pried from the door jam and his helpless body was slammed into the devouring mouth of the head creature.  As his screams echoed across the threshold at them, one thing became certain.  A dozen more were coming for the rest of them.  They had one chance to slam the door shut. Otherwise they would be next.

[ V . D ]   Devastation fell upon Pames face, her hands shaking viciously as she lingered in the pool of blood, all that had unfolded despite their best efforts had shocked her to her core. She could still feel the shadow of a touch from the shaldoreis fingertips on her glove.

She had attempted to grab his hand when he let go of the door jam, and yet... He was gone. Before she could even blink. Cruelty of fate escaped no one. Not even those as old and wizened as elves.

But one thing was for certain, it was the only thing that grounded Pame despite the agony building within after witnessing her dearest of friends devoured. Times were grim, certainly, but the others were alive. Lazarius was missing.

They couldn't risk lingering for too long. Thus, with that same ferocious growl the kaldorei sheathes her swords and twists around before grasping for Jursols arm to guide her back to the others.

Once inside, she'd swiftly reach around and close the door behind them, ensuring it was such firmly. A grim expression laid claim to the kaldoreis features, her eyes full of great sorrow as she looked around at those who remained. Verzatea had pools of tears building in her eyes, her voice momentarily lost from the sheer shock of it.

[ J ]   Jursol had been next to Pame trying to save Mars. Following Pame behind the door after they lost their grip, Jursol began to feel rage. A rage not normal to her. It was as if even the Loa became angered. Her body shook as she turned to her raptors.

“We be finishing dis. None get in da way. Dis end now. Blood has been drawn. Dis be personal now.”

Her voice was deep, and held an echo that was not there before. Her eyes began to glow as she made a tight fist with her claws.

“Da deal made shall bear fruit. My children.”

She said to her Dino’s as she pat them each on the head.

“It be time for no more mercy. We be gettin our revenge in due time.”

Jursol moved slowly forward as she bowed her head to Pame.

“You be stronger den ya know. We be needin you ya help us press on. Da longer we wait, da more risk we be takin. We must finish what we came for. Lest his sacrifice be in vane.”

Calmly placing her hand on Teas shoulder as she knelt down.

“We be havin Justice soon enough. He be wantin us ta finish da job. Da Inquisitor be still alive. Don give up now my friend.”

It was a small sign of her affection, but there was little time to mourn now. They had to keep going.

[ V . D ]   Pame held the same passion as Jursol, her eyes permanently narrowed into an expression of determination and passion. With the powerful speech set from the zandalari Pame further acknowledged her with a nod of understanding.

Tea, as well, had found her composure with forcibly breathing through her nose, her mouth breathing consistent to old bad habits when her nerves got worked up, and as she began to breathe properly her panic dissipated.

Golden eyes stared mournfully toward the door where last they scrambled through, her brows twitching momentarily before she'd concede and begin to stand whilst pulling the boy back up into her arms.  

Everyone else had their duties, she'd not slack when plenty of stuff was to do.

"We need to keep steady, we will mourn after. We must watch for any traps,"

Pame remarks, her tone quite bitter.

"If you lot agree, I'll take the lead. I can see best in the dark, I can guide us through the twists and turns. Jursol, will you and your raptors protect our back and sides?"

"Thank you Jursol..,"

Tea breathes out shakily, glancing up toward the zandalari before smiling gently,

"It seems this has shaken me more than I was anticipating..."

And... A heartbreaking thought had appeared in her mind, nagging her with its corrective thoughts... Was Lazarius right all along? Was love not only pointless,  but dangerous?

Such a thought would lead the Confessor to fall into a facade of emotionless silence, her lips pressing into a firm line as she stares forward, squinting into the darkness.

"Whatever is decided, lets get on with it," the sindorei remarks, "I imagine plenty awaits us in these halls..."

[ J ]   Jursol nodded in agreement as she motions for the raptors to take up the rear. She made her way to the raptors as they prepared for whatever was ahead.

@siidaraykashebahl​

@frompage112​

@zandalaridruidofgonk​

@pyravari-kashebahl​

@whatadarkbitch​

@miss-irascible​

@thebladeitself​

To be continued in “In Mind of Misery, Manipulation, Part 9″

[keeroo92]

Hey! Got a prompt idea for ya! I have a great need for some soul crushing angst with fluffy good end with V & reader. Where V falls hopelessly in love with reader but thinks she doesn't want him (she does want him). He yearns so much for her, it hurts & consumes his thoughts constantly. He even acts on his want alone (NSFW) and feels guilty, but won't tell her his love for her until some breaking point. You know, that one-sided pining that ends being mutual drama but with lots of hurt first.

Sorry this one took a while, but to be fair it’s quite long. Set in an AU where V and Vergil are roommates. I hope this has enough angsty pain for you :D Also, this is my first work with a gender neutral reader, yaaaaaay!

Word count - 3,707

_________________________

V had a serious problem.

He couldn’t find his book anywhere.

Last night, he left it on his bedside table as he always did, and this morning he woke to find it gone. He checked everywhere he could imagine, from under the bed to the freezer, but to no avail.

Then he remembered his roommate’s new puppy.

Oh no…

He ran to the living room, already fearing the worst. His white-haired roommate was in the middle of his morning meditation, sitting quietly with his eyes closed. V normally wouldn’t dare to interrupt, but this was too important.

“Vergil! Where’s Yamato?”

Vergil opened a single eye to glare at V, his displeasure clear. He huffed, barely opening his lips to respond. “In my room, why?”

But V didn’t answer, already on his way to the bedroom in question, panic in his eyes at the idea of his most cherished possession on the paws of the destructive two-month-old Shiba Inu.

He opened the door and gasped.

Paper littered the floor, tiny scraps of it still floating down to land around the dog. She had the remnants of his beloved volume between her paws, a section in her mouth as she shook her head back and forth to kill it, growling.

“No! Bad dog, drop it!” V cried, stepping forward to tug what was left of the cover from her grasp. She released it instantly, Vergil’s hours spent training her with basic commands coming in handy. She looked away guiltily as he grimaced at the slobber coating the once pristine pages. V sighed and praised the horrible animal for its obedience, even though he’d much rather throttle her or shove her nose into the carpet. The damage was done, and punishment would do nothing to restore his book.

So, he gathered as many scraps as he could find, sealing them in a plastic bag with a heavy heart. As he grabbed his coat, he caught a glimpse of Vergil disciplining the young puppy in the living room.

“We do not destroy others’ belongings, that’s bad,” Vergil explained to the animal, and she cocked her head to the side as if she understood. V shook his head and left.

The bookstore down the street was one he’d never visited, content to read the familiar pages of his childhood treasure. He didn’t even know if they repaired books, but it was all he could think of to try. Inside the brick building he found a glorious sight – racks upon racks of books, too many to count. Several people were milling about browsing, a few sitting in overstuffed chairs and reading. It was close to silent, only the turning of pages and occasional scraps of conversation filling the air.

I should have come here long ago.

“Hi there! My name is Y/N. Can I help you find anything?”

V turned to face the bright and youthful voice. It belonged to a young person outfitted in a dark shirt and pants wearing a name tag. An employee of the store with excellent timing.

“Yes, actually. I need this book repaired,” V replied with a smile. He held out the bag and waited for assurance that it could be salvaged.

“Oh! Uh, well… I really wish I could help you, but that looks beyond repair. What on earth happened?”

V’s face fell, shoulders sagging in disappointment. He took the bag back with a slight frown. “My roommate’s dog happened.”

You grimaced in sympathy and nodded knowingly. “Maybe we can find another copy of it? What was the title?”

V gazed mournfully at the remains of his prized tome. He couldn’t believe it was so destroyed, beyond repair as you’d said. It felt like he’d lost a friend.

“The Complete Works of William Blake, but it was customized. Of great sentimental value,” he responded. You shuffled your feet and chewed the inside of your cheek.

“I see. Maybe some of it’s in good enough shape? A partial restoration might be possible, though some portions would be missing.”

V handed the bag back gratefully; even a partial repair would be of great comfort. You took a closer look and smiled, gesturing for him to follow you as you led him to a counter nearby. You pulled out the larger sections, the cover and a few intact pages. V noticed several scraps that belonged to the same page and assembled them neatly, using his memory to recreate the page with one of his favorite poems on it.

“Yeah, we could get about three quarters of it fully restored. It’ll take a few weeks, is that all right?” you asked.

“Thank you, that would be superb.”

V gave the details necessary and accepted the receipt, carefully stowing it in his wallet for safekeeping. He felt much better, though his heart still ached for the loss. There was no way to know which poems were lost, perhaps another copy would be wise after all?

He voiced the thought aloud and you smiled. He followed you to a section labeled as poetry, watching as you located the specific shelf of his favorite poet and pulled out an especially well-made version.

“Here’s my favorite edition. It has a genuine leather cover and a ribbon to mark your place, and it features this nice paper, I love the texture of it. Here, take a look!” you said, holding it out for his inspection with a glimmer of excitement in your eyes. He hadn’t noticed their color before, but now found it difficult to look away.

He shook himself mentally and examined the volume. You were right, the pages had a wonderful roughness to them that reminded him of homemade paper. The leather cover was a nice touch, too.

“This is perfect, thank you.”

“My pleasure! All set?”

He nodded and within moments, he was out the door with his purchase. When he opened the door and stepped into his residence, Vergil and Yamato were gone. He took advantage of the silence and made a cup of tea, settling in under his favorite lamp to read his new treasure. Yet the flowing script didn’t hold his attention and his mind drifted back to the color of your eyes and the sound of your voice. There was something about you that captured his interest, and he puzzled over it throughout the next few days.

It was less than a week before he returned to the bookstore. V tried to convince himself he simply wanted to find another volume to enjoy, but the truth was that he wanted to see you again. There was an odd fluttering sensation in his gut as he opened the door and saw you at the register, busily cashiering.

I’ll have to buy something, then.

He wandered aimlessly for a few minutes, passing by new releases and cookbooks without a second glance. The classic literature section caught his attention, and he selected a copy of The Divine Tragedy. The premise of Hell intrigued him, and the structure was poetic enough that it felt familiar. V headed back to the register with a smile, excited to speak with even briefly.

Over the next two months, this became his pattern. He spent most of his time reading, powering through several classics and anthologies you recommended. Every time he finished a book, he immediately returned to the shop to discuss it with you and ask for another. It was the highlight of his days, speaking to you. He learned that you were barely younger than him, that you had always loved book and stories and were writing an original of your very own when you had time.

He learned what made you laugh, what made you smile and what made you frown. He learned what music you liked and who you’d kill to see perform live. He learned everything he could about you, and with each new piece of information, you stole another piece of his heart.

His infatuation was so obvious even Vergil noticed, commenting that he smiled far too much and had a ridiculous look about him. V only laughed and went back to his book, lazily scratching Yamato’s chin. The dog grew on him; after all, if she hadn’t destroyed his book, he never would have met you. The partially restored volume now rested on a shelf near his bed, high enough so the dog couldn’t reach it and displayed proudly.

He turned the last page of Count Dracula and hummed contentedly, already reaching for his coat and keys when Vergil’s voice reached him.

“Mind if I join you?”

V froze. What if Vergil got in the way? He treasured his time with you, even though he knew you were simply doing your job and being nice to him out of professionalism. Vergil would shatter that illusion; he had no tolerance for willful ignorance. Yet to protest would only cause further issues, so he nodded.

Vergil smirked and donned his jacket, following V out the door. They reached the shop within minutes, and once inside V searched for you out of habit alone. There, you were helping a young woman find something. Vergil’s clever eyes tracked the same path, discerning V’s focus with ease.

“So that’s why you’ve been acting so absurd. Impressive,” the white-haired man said.

V blushed and looked at the floor, studying the geometric pattern of the thin carpeting as if it held the secrets of the universe. This was exactly what he feared would happen. He knew you weren’t interested; you’d not once asked for his phone number or shown any desire to see him outside your workplace. Prickles of guilt washed over him when he thought about it, about how he continued to intrude on your work where you could do nothing to impede him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied at last.

Vergil glanced at V and smirked knowingly. “Ah, forgive me. I must have been mistaken.”

V nodded and wandered away to browse, leaving Vergil to his own devices. The moment the poet was out of sight, Vergil strode over to talk to you with a charming smile.

“Hello, I was hoping you could be of assistance…”

 __________________

V did his best to avoid you, his guilt weighing heavily on his mind. Yet that day you sought him out, having seen him enter the shop and met his friend.

“V! Hi! What are you looking for today? Did you finish Dracula yet?” your cheerful voice called out to him as you approached.

“Oh! Yes, I just finished it this afternoon,” he said. V couldn’t deny the rush he got when you spoke to him, the familiar fluttering of his belly and the buzz in his mind.

“Great! Did you like it?”

He cleared his throat and nodded, making you beam with joy.

“I know just what you should read next, then! Are you familiar with the story of Frankenstein?”

V chatted with you for the next twenty minutes, though normally he spent over an hour in your company. He made his excuses and left to track down Vergil, finding him near the door with a smirk on his lips and a bag in his hand.

“This is a lovely store, especially the help,” he said when V reached his side.

“What?”

“That employee I thought you had a thing for? I’m going to see them tonight for a movie,” Vergil replied.

V felt his throat contract and swallowed against it. His stomach dropped to his knees and his hands trembled as he opened the door to their home, the urge to utterly destroy his roommate painfully strong. He ignored it, reminding himself that he had no claim to you.

“Ah. Have fun.”

He retreated to his bedroom and sighed. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, reliving every laugh and every smile as he undressed and got in bed. How he wished it was him taking you to a movie! V’s imagination ran wild, picturing everything he would do if he had the chance. He’d start with a hand on your knee, waiting until the film was at least twenty minutes in before dragging it higher to rest on your thigh.

A coil of heat settled in his belly at the thought, and one hand drifted to rest over his groin.

Next, he would lean over to whisper in your ear, something about how the darkness of theaters made excellent cover for explorations. His hand would move inward, dancing over your skin to rest on the tender flesh of your inner thigh. He imagined the way your breath would hitch and your hands would clench on the armrests, eyes glued to the screen as his fingers caressed their way higher.

V groaned and lifted his hips, rubbing his aching hardness into his palm.

You would spread your legs, granting him permission to continue. He wouldn’t even need to look, using skill alone to unbutton your shorts and graze his fingertips across your stomach. The sigh you’d make would be so exquisite, so lovely as he ventured under the fabric to touch your most intimate and sensitive skin.

He wrapped his fingers around his length, running his thumb over his tip and spreading the bead of fluid around as he pumped.

You would arch your back and bite your lip as he first felt your wetness; he’d need to time it well to disguise the moan slipping through your lips. He’d coat his fingers in your arousal, pulling them away to lick them and taste you. You’d taste so good, and he would lean over to whisper that, too. Gentleman that he was, he would share the morsel and allow you to lick his moistened fingers, let you wrap that sweet tongue around him and feel your lips engulf his flesh.

His breath hitched and he started lifting his hips to thrust in time with his pumping hand, heightening the pleasure.

He’d take his fingers away and resume his ministrations, finding all your most sensitive patches of nerves and stimulating them without mercy. Your eyes would roll back into your head as he stroked, his every move sending pulses of pleasure through you. He’d tease you, bring you right to the brink and hold you there. With another whisper, he’d instruct you to beg. And you would, keening his name softly and pleading for him to give you release. How could he possibly deny you anything when you asked so sweetly? His hand would be drenched in the proof of your fulfillment, and the two of you would lick it clean together in the dark theater. Perhaps he’d hold it in his cheek and make you use your tongue to retrieve it from his mouth?

“Fuck!” V growled, groaning as he reached his peak. Thick ropes of his cum shot out onto his thighs and stomach, but he didn’t care. He was too busy pumping through his intense orgasm. For a few moments, he lied there and waited for his panting to return to a normal breathing pattern. The guilt that had prickled at him before was joined by shame.

He rose to clean up the mess with a sigh, now fully awake again. It was difficult to keep himself from picturing Vergil living out his fantasies, and he tried to distract his mind by reading. The words on the page blurred, the story only reminding him of how you had looked so excited when you told him the premise. How wide your smile was as he expressed his interest.

I wonder how wide they’ll smile when Vergil makes his move.

With a growl of fury and frustration, V hurled the book at the wall with all the force he could muster. Images filled his mind of Vergil touching you, caressing your skin and knowing you more intimately than V ever would, and he ripped his bedroom door open.

He stalked to the kitchen and poured a glass of whiskey, downing it in a single gulp. He poured another and claimed a perch on the couch. Yamato joined him, her sympathetic eyes begging him to pet her. He smiled softly and did just that.

“At least there’s one female who welcomes my touch,” he murmured. Yamato whined as if to disagree. He took a sip of his drink and settled in to wait, knowing he would find no rest until Vergil returned.

 _______________

By the time his white-haired roommate opened the door, he’d finished his second drink and was just about to pour his third. The man had the nerve to hum as he took off his shoes, joining V in the kitchen with a smile as he opened the fridge to find a snack. Without prompting, he opened his mouth.

“What a lovely time we had. I’ll be seeing them again this weekend, I think I’ll go for a kiss then.”

V grunted and clenched his jaw as he returned to his bedroom to sulk. He couldn’t let this happen, refused to let Vergil do to you what he’d done to so many others. The poet finally found sleep as he resolved to do what he must tomorrow.

 ______________

He found you stocking the children’s section. You had a smile on your lips, a look of happiness in your eyes. V hoped you weren’t thinking about Vergil but couldn’t discount the possibility. He approached you and that same flutter ran rampant in his belly as you smiled at him.

“V! You didn’t finish Frankenstein already, did you?”

He sighed, searching for the right words to make you understand.

“No, I… I need to talk to you about something else. Do you have a moment?”

Your eyes narrowed in concern, but you nodded, following him to a secluded corner of the shop to talk in private. You waited for him to speak and he gazed into your eyes for courage.

“Vergil is not an easy man to be involved with. He will hurt you, if you let him. You should stay away from him,” he said. He tried to make his voice steady and earnest, but it came out less powerfully than he’d hoped. Your eyes narrowed even further as you listened, staring at him in confusion.

“Why are you telling me this? What does it matter to you?”

This is it.

V took a deep breath and opened his mouth as his hands trembled. His stomach was like a flock of birds, fluttering so much he feared he may lose his breakfast.

“It matters because I have feelings for you.”

Your eyes widened and your mouth popped open in surprise. You didn’t say a word, and as amusement filled your eyes V turned and ran, unable to face the rejection he knew was imminent. He fled outside, not planning on stopping until he got home, but a warm hand on his wrist stopped him in the parking lot. He turned to find you, bent over and panting as you held your other hand up in a gesture of needing to catch your breath.

They want to be clear. I cannot run away from this.

He waited in resigned misery as you finally regained the ability to speak, but no words came from your lips. Instead, you released his wrist and stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him to press your lips to his.

What…?

V’s heart flew into his mouth and he tugged you closer, cradling your precious form against his as he reveled in the softness of your mouth. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he’d been so sure you felt nothing for him. After a far too brief embrace, you pulled back with the most radiant smile he’d yet seen on your face.

“I’ve wanted to do that for weeks! I have feelings for you too, but I thought you weren’t interested!”

V smirked and rested his forehead against yours.

“So, Vergil…?”

“He offered to take me to see a movie nobody else wanted to see. I have no interest in him, at least not like I have in you,” you replied with a light blush.

He leaned in for another kiss, running the tip of his tongue over your lips until you opened to him, your tongues dancing as he moaned quietly. You tasted so much better than he could have imagined, and feeling your hands running up and down his back made him shiver in delight. He rested a palm on your hip and squeezed, his other hand occupied mapping your jaw. He had to pull away a beat later as blood rushed to his groin.

You grinned and took his hand, lacing your fingers through his as he caught his breathe.

“Why did you stop?” you asked.

V looked at the asphalt under his feet, his eyes passing over the bulge in his pants that was far too obvious for his liking.

“I liked that… perhaps too much.”

You laughed and reached out to feel his hardened length with a sly smirk, and he couldn’t restrain the whine at your touch.

“Trust me, you’re not the only one who enjoyed it.”

He raised an eyebrow and twisted his lips, eyes glittering in amusement. “Do tell,” he said.

“Let’s start with dinner. I’m off at five, sound good?”

He lifted your hand to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. “Delightful.”

You turned to face the bookstore with a resigned sigh, and V escorted you back to the door. He didn’t want to let you go back to work, but knowing he’d see you in a few short hours helped. You gave him another kiss and released his hand.

“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, and stepped inside. He waved and started the walk home, and with every step he took the smile on his face grew wider.

[rebekahxmorgan]

Touch Me | Marden

when: june 23rd, 2020

where: the beach house

trigger warnings: this is all nsfw, my dudes 

nb: after rebekah had posted a rather scandalous photo of arden publicly displaying her affections (are we really surprised?), arden surprises rebekah by coming over while amber was working so that the two could play with some toys, and each other (iykyk).

(ooc): this is an ongoing chatzy, and will be updated as we go along.

@ourardenoliver

After seeing the photo (and caption) that Rebekah had posted on Instagram, Arden would be lying if she said that she wasn't feeling incredibly confident; and very appreciative of the redhead's public display of love. As she didn't have any classes for the rest of the day, she changed into a dark blue lingerie set that Rebekah hadn't seen yet, donned a killer pair or "fuck me" heels, curled her hair, and touched up her makeup. She covered up her outfit with an oversized trench coat before making her way over to the beach house, knowing that her girlfriend would be home alone as Amber-Jade was always at work at this time. Knocking on the front door, a wicked smirk crossed her face when Rebekah opened the door. Without saying a word, Arden undid the front of the trench coat; revealing exactly what she was wearing underneath. "I just came over to show my appreciation for that Instagram post, I thought that we could maybe break out that bag of toys and play with it again. I know that you eased me in slowly last time but I don't think we need to do that this time around".

Rebekah had always been quite a proud girlfriend when it came to Arden. It was enough that she was already successful, kind, and had this fire in her that most people didn't -- but she was also fucking hot. Rebekah knew that Arden was someone people desired to have, but she also knew that her girlfriend wasn't the type to remain unhappy, or unpleased. If there was anything Rebekah was most confident about in that very moment, it was where she stood in the brunette's life, and how solid their relationship was becoming. Rebekah didn't have any classes that day, so after her run she took a shower and settled for just wearing an oversized t-shirt and her underwear. Hearing a knock on the door, the redhead immediately had to pull on a pair of running shorts; Amber had been working, and she wasn't expecting anyone that would lead to her feeling comfortable to answer in her underwear. Immediately upon answering the door, the redhead's jaw practically dropped as her girlfriend revealed what was underneath the trench coat. "I think I just died and went to heaven." she thought out loud. Her eyes slowly dragged down her body, truly appreciating every inch of her girlfriend's body. She unconsciously bit her bottom lip as dirty thoughts suddenly crept into her mind, already being extremely turned on. "Amber's not going to be home until late." Grabbing her hand, she pulled her through the door, immediately shutting it and closing the gap between them, their lips officially meeting. As she kissed the other hungrily, she pushed the trench coat off Arden's body, allowing it to fall wherever on the floor. "Which means I plan on playing with you all day."

Arden knew that Rebekah would greet her eagerly but the redhead's reaction to her arrival certainly didn't disappoint. She committed the moment to memory, wanting to revisit it later -- the way Rebekah looked as she answered the door in just her shirt and underwear, the look of surprise on her face, the way her eyes slowly dragged over her body. She felt incredibly aroused and desired, suddenly very pleased about her decision to show up on Rebekah's doorstep in this attired. "Good, that was my intention. I thought you deserved a little present after that very public declaration on Instagram", she replied. "I know, this is the day that she goes straight from The Darkroom to Mars Bar which is why I chose today. We don't have to be quiet and you can fuck me wherever you want, however you want". As soon as she finished speaking, Rebekah was dragging her into the house, slamming the door and kissing her. Seconds later, Arden was slipping her tongue into Rebekah's mouth as the redhead pushed her trench coat to the floor, the dark haired woman already feeling herself growing wet against the lacy material of her panties. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't take your sweet time with me, I know how big that bag of toys is", she said after the pair broke the kiss.

"Okay, but would I be a perv if I said that picture was my new wallpaper? Because I genuinely don't think that it's fair of you to send me pictures like that and expect me to not want to show you off." Rebekah stated, a soft laugh immediately following. The thought of being able to fuck her girlfriend anywhere, and any way she liked was enough to spike up her arousal, causing her to press her thighs together as if that would help with anything. Parting her lips just slightly, Rebekah moaned quietly into the kiss, feeling as the other's cool tongue slipped into her mouth. She loved how much the two have grown, specifically how much more confident Arden had been this time compared to the last time they did something like this - Rebekah actually found it quite sexy. She laced her hands through Arden's freshly curled hair, tugging so that Arden's head was tilting back, giving Rebekah access to her neck. "Trust me, I'm not going to stop until you're a complete wet and withering mess. Let's go upstairs, baby." Taking a hold of the others hand, she lead the way upstairs and to her bedroom, immediately locking the door behind her and making her way to her closet. "Lay down." she sweetly commanded, grabbing the bag that had been tucked away in the corner of her closet, the one her girlfriend seemingly grew to love. Her bed was big enough so that she was able to place it next to Arden, tossing it onto the bed as she climbed up and over her girlfriend so that she had essentially been straddling her lap. "You actually came just in time...I was just about to touch myself thinking about those photos you sent me using this." She pulled out the biggest vibrator she had in the bag, her lips turning into a devilish smile as she looked down at her girlfriend. "You've always wanted to know how I sound while touching myself...well, now you'll be able to see it for yourself."

"Is it really your wallpaper?" Arden asked curiously. "I was actually going to suggest that you could take a few photos of me like this as little keepsakes but if you lost your mind over a bikini shot, maybe you aren't ready for lingerie or complete nudes", she teased. She let out a breathless moan as the redhead broke the kiss and tugged on her hair so that she could touch her neck. "I don't have mock trials for another few weeks, you can mark me if you want", she offered. "I don't think that will take long, I was getting wet on the way over here, just thinking about what we might do", she admitted as she followed her girlfriend upstairs, her eyes firmly on her ass as they walked. As instructed, she laid down on the bed, watching every single one of Rebekah's movements. Her eyes widened in both lust and surprise as the redhead straddled her and revealed the biggest vibrator in the bag, talking about how she had been planning on touching herself before Arden arrived. "God, that's huge. You're going to look so sexy taking all of that... can I prepare you for it? Ride me face, let me get you wet enough to take it".

"Of course it is. It helps me get through the long days of not seeing you." Rebekah said, smiling widely as she knew just how cheesy that probably sounded. Grabbing her phone, she immediately unlocked. "Babe, look at you! I'm simply just taking pride and bragging a little bit." she laughed. "But just say the word and I'll go grab my Polaroid. Make this a little bit more...memorable." Rebekah's lips turned into a small, yet confident, smirk - very much ready to jump out of bed to go grab the camera or even just use her phone for the photoshoot. Hearing Arden's offer, the redhead immediately began sucking on the sensitive skin of her neck, gently but still rough enough to make a mark right at the base. "Well, hopefully I live up to all of your sexy expectations." She had no doubt that she would be able to do so, that she would be able to take her girlfriend to places she's never been, and she genuinely couldn't wait. Her devilish smirk only grew, and a brow raised, when seeing her girlfriend's reaction to the vibrator in hand. Roles were completely reversed in a matter of seconds, Rebekah's eyes quickly widening in lust and surprise as well, all in response to Arden's words. She gave a small nod before pulling off her shirt, her fingers then playing with the waistband of her underwear as she shifted her body slightly so that she could pull the thin piece of material off. She scooted her body up slightly, inching her way up towards where the other had wanted her. "You're so beautiful. I love you so fucking much."

"Except you see me most days, do you really need all those photos to get through the few hours that you aren't with me?" Arden teased. Since Rebekah had moved into the beach house, the two had been spending more and more time together and it had certainly helped their relationship to get back on track, especially in the bedroom. "I know I've been teasing you about it but I'm actually really flattered about it, I like being with someone that wants to show me off", she assured her. "You should grab your Polaroid, I think you deserve a few keepsakes". She had never really taken photos like that before but if Rebekah was that wound up by a bikini shot, she wanted to give her girlfriend something that would really make her lose her mind. She sighed softly, the sound one of pleasure, when the redhead sucked a mark at the base of her neck. "You always exceed my expectations, sex with you is amazing", she said truthfully. She had originally been the one that was surprised but when she encouraged the redhead to ride her face, their positions were reversed. Still, Rebekah didn't hesitate to pull off her shirt and underwear, leaving her completely naked. "And you are so gorgeous, I'm so in love with you", she told her as Rebekah moved into position. Her hands found Rebekah's hips, essentially holding her in position, before she teasingly ran her tongue from Rebekah's entrance to her clit. "You're already so wet and you taste so good, how am I this lucky?" She didn't wait for Rebekah's answer before gently grazing her teeth over Rebekah's clit, then lightly sucked the bundle of nerves. As she did so, she took one of her hands off of Rebekah's hip and ran two fingers over her center to get them wet before roughly pushing them inside her girlfriend without warning.

Rebekah playfully rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's light teasing, an action that was immediately followed by her softly laughing out loud. "Yes, I do." she chuckled as she leaned down to kiss down the girls neck. "I need them on those late nights when I'm in this room all alone, touching myself to the thought of you and your tongue, desperately wishing you were with me." She whispered, speaking in between kisses. "You deserve to be showed off, babe. I would do it more if it didn't me at risk of being that overly obnoxious girlfriend." She said half-jokingly, laughing softly once more before sitting back up. She found herself blushing at the others compliments. Arden had been the only one who had such an effect her, the only one who was able to make her blush and feel vulnerable, and yet not want to run. She had never felt more loved and adored by some one in her life, and she had personally never loved and adored someone as much as she adored Arden. As she moved into the position, Rebekah gently ran her hands through the other's dark hair, her arousal continuing to grow and spike from the anticipation of what was about to happen. "I love you." she whispered, her lips turning into a smirk as the other grabbed onto her hips, essentially holding her in place. A soft, breathless moan left her lips as she felt Arden's cool tongue ran over her wet entrance and clit. "It's all for you, baby. It's always for y--" The redhead wasn't able to finish her sentence as another, and ab it louder, moan came out. It wasn't long before she let out a breathless gasp, moaning out Arden's name loudly as she roughly pushed two fingers inside her, Rebekah pulling a bit more roughly on the others hair. "God, you feel so damn good. I'm yours." In that moment, her entire world was narrowed down to the feeling of Arden's tongue sucking on her clit, and her fingers being buried deep inside her. Despite being held by her girlfriend's hand, she still found herself attempting to grind her hips down against her girlfriend's hand, desperate for more friction. "I thought about you last night when I got home from the bar. I pictured falling asleep next to you while you were up doing work, and then waking up in the middle of the night to your fingers buried deep inside of me; you didn't want your sisters to hear me so you put a ball gag on me, and fucked me so hard. I came all over my vibrator and fingers thinking about you...over and over again as I screamed your name."

Arden laughed along with Rebekah but she couldn't wipe the fond smile from her face, liking the fact that Rebekah was so attracted to her that she found it difficult to keep her hands to herself; and wanted mementos to keep with her. "You have no idea how hot it is to think about you touching yourself while you think of me", Arden murmured, sighing softly as Rebekah kissed the sensitive spots on her neck. "Sadly, the photos that you take tonight are for your eyes only but something tells me you won't have an issue with that", she teased. Whilst Rebekah loved to show her off, there was also this possessive side to her and she certainly wouldn't want other MU students seeing those naked Polaroids. She moaned against Rebekah because of how she tasted, how good it felt to know that Rebekah still loved her, and because of the way that the redhead tugged on her hair. Arden had really only just started, yet her girlfriend was already so wet and responsive; which was such a goddamn turn on for her. When Rebekah said that she was hers, Arden pushed a third finger inside her girlfriend; her fingertips pressing insistently against her g-spot with every thrust of her fingers. Her own hips rolled upwards, searching for friction, in response to Rebekah's story about her fantasy the night before. She removed her free hand from Rebekah's hip, trusting that the redhead wouldn't move away, and trailed the hand down her own body; circling her clit in time with the movements of her fingers inside her girlfriend.

Rebekah playfully winked at her girlfriend in response to the others laughter. She was far from ashamed to admit that she was absolutely attracted to her girlfriend. And honestly, she enjoyed showing her off - not only because she was proud to have Arden, but as a friendly reminder to all of the men that attempted to flirt with her that she was hers and hers only. "I definitely won't have an issue with that." She immediately confirmed. As much as she attempted to hide it, Rebekah did have a bit of a possessive streak when it came to her girlfriend. It wasn't too bad, but still to the point where the thought of her being with someone else physically made Rebekah sick, and she honestly would rather gauge her own eyes out. Another breathless moan escaped her lips in response to the sensational and pleasurable vibrations that came from Arden's lips and tongue. It seemed as though Arden had this special power of turning Rebekah into putty in just a matter of seconds. The girl had just barely began working on her, and yet the redhead was already so wet, with her arousal only continuing to grow with each movement, and each flick of her girlfriends tongue. A loud gasp rolled off the tip of Rebekah's tongue as she felt yet another finger being added into the mix; and suddenly, she was a complete mess. A stream of moans and profanities loudly slipped through her lips as Arden continued to hit that one spot. "Fuck...right there." She sweetly moaned out, practically encouraging the other to continue. Arden removing her second hand from her hip only caused Rebekah to further push down against the other's hand, searching for more and more as each second passed. Despite the fact that she was quickly turning into a complete mess, she too also found herself wanting to pleasure the other female. "I don't want you to stop...but I really want to touch you. Please, let me touch you." She was essentially asking for permission to turn around so that the two were in the 69 position, which would then give Rebekah the ability to also fuck her girlfriend. Rebekah had relinquished any power she had the moment Arden's tongue met her clit; Arden had complete control over her, and the situation.

"Honestly, the thought of you having photos of me in lingerie and completely naked is kind of hot. I like knowing that you'll look at the photos we take today, that you might even touch yourself whilst thinking about what we were doing whilst we took them", Arden admitted. Before meeting Rebekah, most of her sex had been vanilla and even when in relationships, she wasn't exactly sexually active on a regular basis; especially when you considered the fact that her previous partners had been a little absent. Rebekah certainly brought out a more adventurous and wild side to her; one that she was enjoying exploring. Her confidence with the physical side of their relationship had also increased tenfold. If Rebekah, who had more experience than Arden, enjoyed herself so much when they were together; she was clearly doing something right. Tonight was a perfect example of that, really. She had barely started pleasuring her girlfriend but the redhead was already incredibly wet and was practically writhing against her. The incredible reaction was causing Arden herself to grow wet without even being touched yet. She followed her girlfriend's instructions, continuing to fuck her with her fingers, only ceasing when Rebekah begged to touch her too. She pulled her fingers out and before the redhead could complain about the sudden cessation, she was maneuvering her girlfriend so that they were in the 69 position. "I'll give you anything that you want, you just have to ask", she murmured before resuming what she had been doing beforehand.

Rebekah smirked before leaning down. She placed peppered kisses down the girls jaw slowly, humming in response to what the other had been saying. "I might just have to call you during one of those nights. Or send you a video, giving you a preview of everything. How I sound with my own fingers inside of me, trying to be as quiet as I can, especially with Amber just right down the hall." She whispered, her lips turning into a devilish smirk as her lips continued to travel down her jaw before proceeding to go down her neck. Although Rebekah had been a bit more experienced in terms of her sexual history, she didn't feel nearly as good with others as she did with Arden. Granted, she's had a good amount of great experiences, but that was different. That was simply just the redhead trying to scratch an itch. There was something about doing this with someone she really loved, someone who really mattered. It didn't take much on Arden's part to make her a withering mess, especially on days like that day. Following the others movements, she helped by turning herself around, running a hand through her long red locks to get any remaining strands away from her face. She bit her lip as her girlfriend resumed what she was doing, the feeling of both her tongue and fingers feeling quite heavenly in that very moment. Bending over, her hand settled comfortably in between the others legs, and she gently ran a finger down the brunette's wet slit. "You drive me so fucking crazy. You have no idea how much I crave you, every single day." She said quietly before leaning down, replacing the finger that had been running up and down her wet slit with her tongue.

[laceymorganwrites]

Just like me

Word Count: 2,200

Pairing: Higuchi x reader

Song: Just like me - Betty Who

Warnings: swearing

I heard she's beautiful

Ichiyo Higuchi was the most beautiful woman you have ever laid eyes on. Every time she stepped into your office to give the most recent mission report, you could barely focus on what she was saying. Instead your whole attention lied on her eyes that seemed to sparkle with excitement, her hands that were gesturing wildly. A 20 out of 10

She was truly magnificent. If it wasn´t for her crush on Akutagawa. It just irked you how she always gushed about him, how she loved him and not you. Why couldn´t she see what an asshole that guy was? How could she accept the shitty way he treated her? That doesn't keep me from Wondering how you've been

Every time the pair was out on a mission you were angry that they still got partnered up. It was as if nobody else saw the worth that laid in Higuchi, as if nobody else cared about her. It drove you mad. All you could do was worry about her while you waited for their return. Left me for dead when we were

It tore your heart apart how all she could think about was Akutagawa. You yearned after her like she yearned after him. It was hopeless and it hurt. I'm holding flooding fast I held my breath and prayed that The rain would soon have passed

But like it was with crushes, it would soon fade away. That´s what you told yourself all those years. So if you think you're falling apart

Higuchi has reached the breaking point again. She found herself realizing that Akutagawa would never feel the same way, all her affection and the way she tried so hard was useless. Of course she knew it, she wasn´t stupid. But that didn´t mean it didn´t hurt. Lately those hopeless thoughts were clouding her mind more than usual, it even went so far that it hindered her work. And I'm the only one you'll call

With empty eyes and an obvious bruise on her cheek she numbly gave the daily mission report. You frowned, something was different. “Higuchi? Is everything alright?” you asked and got her out of the trance. Instead of lying and going on her merry way, Higuchi did something unexpected happened. Her lips started trembling, as she balled her fists and stood in the doorway, fighting her tears and emotions. “It´s really not” she pressed out and shook her head violently. Higuchi let out an agonizing cry before she didn´t care about her tears anymore and let them come. If you keep reaching for me in the dark

You were more than unsure about what to do, here she was, the girl you fell for, crying and being vulnerable around you. Higuchi stopped crying for a bit and stared at you with hurt in her eyes, as if she was begging to be comforted. Yet it still seemed like she was fighting something. “You deserve better than him” you simply stated and those words were enough to make her break. Higuchi started balling again and stretched her arms out for you as she closed in for a hug. Having her trembling body in your arms simply took your breath away, you never thought you would experience something this intimate with her. And yet here you were. “But what if I don´t? What if I´m drawn to him as a punishment for something bad I did?” she sobbed into your chest, making you chuckle slightly. She pulled away and pouted. “I´m serious!” she crossed her arms and you couldn´t fight your smile anymore. “Higuchi...of course you deserve something better, you deserve the world.  You´re a good person, that´s why you´re drawn to him. But some people can´t be fixed” you explained. And can't stand it anymore

“Of course I´m drawn to a guy that could never like me… as if anyone ever would…” she scoffed and then you did something dumb. “I do” you said, not thinking about it, watching her sad eyes turn hopeful. “I like you, Higuchi. Very much so, how could I not? You´re absolutely beautiful in every way and too kind and caring for your own good. And it makes me so sick to see you with that asshole that doesn´t even know how to treat you right! It just makes me so angry that he doesn´t see how amazing you are, he doesn´t see your worth. Not the way I do” you confessed in a rush of emotions. Higuchi was speechless, you told her exactly what she needed to hear in this moment, she didn´t know if you meant it, but did it really matter? You went through such lengths just to tell her that it was okay how she was and that someone cared about her, someone that stood in front of her right now. So she did what any woman who wanted to be comforted would do, she came closer to you, wrapped her arms around your neck and pressed her lips onto yours desperately. You were too shocked to process what was happening right now, but luckily your instincts took over and you kissed her back without thinking about it. Then you just call my name I will do the same You can look into my eyes and see If you've got a broken heart Then you're just like me Why don't you come around

Higuchi couldn´t look you into the eyes after that incident, you were her superior after all. What did she think? She was so embarrassed that she didn´t even give her obligatory reports anymore. It made you sad, you thought it was your fault, after all you kissed her back when you should´ve stopped her. Now wouldn't that be nice

Part of you wished that she would come to you again, late at night and let you comfort her again. You wished you would be more than just a comfort for Higuchi, maybe you shouldn´t get your hopes up. Another moment to remember why we felt so right

It was so unfair. Yeah the world itself was pretty unfair, but why did girls always have to fall for guys that didn´t deserve them? Why did they always fall for assholes who mistreated and didn´t give a shit about them? Especially Higuchi deserved better, hell she deserved everything. And you wanted to give it to her so badly, you wanted to prove to her that there were better people out there, people who could take care of her and genuinely liked her. I know you kiss me

You thought back to that moment more than you should, you still couldn´t believe she was the one who came up to you and actually kissed you. It was like a dream come true, her lips on yours, they were so soft and warm, your heart was in that small space between racing and stopping in that moment. You still felt the butterflies going crazy in your stomach. And in some fucked up way that's fine

After a while Higuchi came back around, she told you that her feelings for Akutagawa were still there and that she was still hurt. She apologized for not meeting you and giving her reports, in fact she wasn´t even at work in that time. Instead Higuchi was at home and brooded over her thoughts, why was she still yearning after him? Especially now that she finally realized how bad he treated her and that you confessed to her. I know we´ll only end in another sad goodbye

She also apologized to you for kissing you. Of course you understood that she didn´t like you the same way, you were only a distraction from her pain after all. Maybe it was okay like that, people needed distraction to cope. But you couldn´t deny that that realization hurt you more than it should. So if you think you're falling apart And I'm the only one you'll call If you keep reaching for me in the dark And can't stand it anymore

Over the course of the next few weeks Higuchi seemed more lively, more happy and that made you happy too. You were back now to a good work balance, of course you still liked her, your feelings even grew, but you were treating it professional now. She even changed her job. Then you just call my name I will do the same You can look into my eyes and see If you've got a broken heart Then you're just like me

“Akutagawa´s such an asshole!” Higuchi stormed into your office fuming. She had her hands on her hips and trembled in anger, angry tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. “I can´t do this anymore, I quit! I fucking quit!” she yelled. You were more than just taken aback by her outbreak and raised an eyebrow. “But what are you gonna do, now that you quit?” you asked, trying to calm her down. “Mori-san already gave me a position in the office, I think we´ll be working together now” she told you and if you looked really close, you could see the blush in her face. Just like just like me Just like just like me Just like just like me Just like just like me Just like just like me Just like just like me

“I don´t know if that´s such a good idea, Higuchi” you mumbled, she knew what you felt for her, how hard it would be for you. Maybe she just needed a friend and you got that, but the selfish part of you wasn´t ready to get hurt again. “Oh, um…. I actually looked forward to it, but I will ask Mori-san to transfer me to another office if I make you uncomfortable” she looked glumly to the floor before she left the room. So if you think you're falling apart And I'm the only one you'll call If you keep reaching for me in the dark And can't stand it anymore

Higuchi ended up working in the office next to yours. It was so nice to work an office job, she thought. And in every break she would come to your office and eat lunch with you. At first she thought she was drawn to you because she needed a distraction from Akutagawa, that she needed to hear that somebody cared about her. But all of that changed. She got to know you as a person and let herself be bewitched by you. It didn´t feel like it felt with Akutagawa, she didn´t feel like you dragged her down like him, she felt as if you made her fly. She regretted ever having a crush on Akutagawa, those feelings she had for you were so much stronger and better. Then you just call my name I will do the same You can look into my eyes and see If you've got a broken heart Then you're just like me

However she didn´t know how to approach you. Higuchi was sure that your feelings for her were gone by now, she doubted they were there in the first place. And she wanted you to feel the same for her. Maybe it was crazy, but she did all the little things for you. She went to the lengths and cooked more lunch for you, she helped you with paper work and brought you coffee. You didn´t know what was going on with her, you hoped you didn´t give off the vibe that she had to do all those things. Just like just like me Just like just like me Just like just like me

When you finally had a day off, she asked you to go out with her. Higuchi didn´t know where this boldness of her came from, but ever since she fully got over Akutagawa and fell for you a long time later, she got more confident. You knew you really shouldn´t, but nonetheless you agreed. Higuchi invited you to her place and cooked dinner for you. You didn´t know what to wear, you just hoped you weren´t overdressed. But when Higuchi opened the door, you were breathless. She wore a very fitting red dress and had her hair down, it perfectly flattered her face. She was nervous and excited, lost for words as you entered. “The food´s really good, Higuchi” you smiled and she blushed, thanking you in stutters and a wide grin. “Thank you” she said after a while of silence. “For being there for me when I needed it, even though my behavior back then is unforgivable. Thank you for being my friend back then, but now things have changed for me. I don´t want you to be my friend anymore, (Y/N). I want to be more than just friends, because I… I really like you more than I ever thought was humanly possible” she mumbled the last part and you almost choked on your food, you never would have imagined that she could ever feel the same.

“I would be more than happy to be more than friends with you, Higuchi. After all I really like you too” you smiled at her softly, watching her face go beet red.