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#and I don't want that! I don't want parallels to real life struggles people go through unless I'm using it on purpose with meaning!
ethereal-hollow · 1 year
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I really want to make a sideblog that's like.. set in an anthro world and in-character meant to be the blog of a furry activist talking about issues that would exist in said universe (stuff like "friendly reminder that just because your dog friend is wagging their tail doesn't mean they're not uncomfortable" or "how comes in 2023 we still don't have many chairs fit for larger tails") but because a lot of discrimination and related issues are similar across topics a lot of it would look like half-baked metaphors or parody of irl things people actually struggle with and I don't wanna do that
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thesirencult · 6 months
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PAC READING: CHRISTMAS WISHES FROM YOUR FS
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PILE 1
Your FS is going through a "10 Of Swords" moment. They have been blinded from the truth. Her light is stronger than any illusion's. You are part of this truth. You and this person share a very special soul bond. Your lives' are parallel to eachother, a thin thread connecting the dots until the moment you meet.
"Keep your map close to your chest darling.
Not many people will understand the journey you are embarking on. I do. I want you to know that I wish that all wishes come true the next year. I'm kinda hopping one of them involves me ; )
I wish you get to heal. I wish the sun is warming up your skin and your eyes are shining with hope. I wish I was there to hold your hand. We could embrace eachother under the sun.
You are my sun.
My Sun. Take the chance and that leap of faith. It will bring you closer to happiness and to me. There are times the most illogical choice and the most risky one leads us to success. The paradox of risk.
I wish you keep the flame in your heart alight and your optimism helps you rise above every single. I wish you find love and guidance within your soul.
Goodbye, for now, my Sun and Merry Christmas <3"
PILE 2
Your person is not happy. They are far away from you but energetically they can feel that you are struggling. Your person is very spiritual and they want you to hold on for a tiny bit longer. They might be older than you. When you meet they will take on the role of a mentor. They see you, the real you and they want to help this diamond form under pressure.
Your FS is very calm, cool and collected. They know what they want. Your message is more heav,y but I know, deep in my heart, that you are telepathetically connected and they constantly send you messages, especially through songs and quotes you stumble upon.
"I wish you could see yourself from my POV. The amazing, beautiful, strong soul that you are. I wish you could look at life through a different prism. I want you to take the reigns and show everyone who you are. I wish you find the strength to own your beauty.
Your energy is mesmerizing. Like a cold night under the full moon and a wolf howling in the background. Hecate.
Choose sovereignty. Choose yourself baby. You're not unlucky. Your time just hasn't come yet.
I want you to push one last time baby. Do it for me. I'm sorry I'm not there to wish you "Happy Christmas".
I wish you manifest your dreams,I wish you dare to invest in your future, in our future without thinking you don't deserve it.
You have more options than you think. Don't make any bad choice you will regret later.
I love you baby. I want you to be healthy and strong."
PILE 3
Your FS is very "hungry" for you. They want you to let them take control. They are more possessive and obsessive than you would expect. They show their emotions through touch and on the bed.
They are daring and won't mind to show that you are theirs to everyone. Your FS knows taht you have big goals and they want you to know that in the future you will achieve all your dreams.
They are pretty succesfull themselves and they want you to get that bag and level up. They love material things and they invest in their future. You would meet in an environment supporting your level up (gym, career day, course, seminar etc.).
"My lovey dovey Sweetheart,
I wish you indulge this season. I wish you let your hair down for a while. When you are mine I will help you calm down. I will take the burdens off of your shoulders and tie your hands. Merry Christmas my lovely baby. I wish this time next year we are together, driving around in our luxury vehicles.
Let me dominate you. Let me take control. I will wrap satin sheets around you and carry you to the bathroom. A bathtub full of rose petals. Champagne for you my love. Sit on my face.
I wish you achieve all your goals. I wish you get your dream car, you bossy little lady. I will hold your hand through everything. I'll be by your side on long nights and I will proudly parade you around and show you off to everyone. I want them to know that the most accomplished person is mine.
You are mine. Mine. Mine.
Always yours, your FS."
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yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad
my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.
it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.
i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.
queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism
she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")
...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!
well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.
yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.
(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that generally shows up in fanon. the common consensus is that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)
the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.
deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.
what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.
let's talk about kris.
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I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. this theory makes a decent amount of sense on the surface level, but only until you consider that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.
if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?
because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.
also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?
the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.
now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?
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ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.
the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?
and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.
this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.
that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.
of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.
now as for susie...
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yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.
can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!
her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?
and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.
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noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)
it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.
and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.
and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.
again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...
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...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.
noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.
but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.
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so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!
ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.
you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!
because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!
berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!
but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.
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so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.
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because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.
queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!
so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.
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while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.
the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.
themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.
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that character is of course us. the player.
when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.
that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.
to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.
deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.
deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.
instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?
as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.
I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?
if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?
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hamliet · 3 months
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Do you have any thoughts on how RWBY handled the white fang storyline?
Unpopular opinion: it's decent?
Now, now, before people come at me with pitchforks: yes, it's overly simplified. The entire story is a fairy tale, though, so that's not out of place. It also complements the rest of the story thematically, and manages to incorporate nuance and complexity in despite the simplification of issues.
I think it's a mistake to look at the White Fang as a 1=1 of the real life struggles of marginalized groups. That said, there obviously are parallels, and so people aren't mistaken to note those. I just think it's not meant to be an instructional manual and shouldn't necessarily be viewed as one, but rather a conversation starter in some ways. And yes, those conversations can and should include critiques.
So I'll go over the points that I think it did well and how those ties into real life, but also specifically how they work for RWBY's overall story. This does not negate criticisms, especially those by marginalized groups.
In contrast to some other fictional depictions, RWBY actually is better as well because it avoids the number one pitfall of such issues: the X-Men fallacy. I've talked about this in terms of Attack on Titan before, but essentially it's the idea that the problem with depicting discrimination against superpowered people is that, well, there is a logical reason for people to be concerned about superpowers; hence, it almost justifies that very discrimination it seeks to condemn. This isn't present in the faunus/human divide. They are both capable of superpowers.
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It also doesn't fall into another common pitfall: the idea that people have to be perfect to be victims of discrimination. The White Fang... has senselessly and cruelly murdered people; doesn't mean faunus discrimination isn't also cruel and senseless and doesn't justify it. And this is something that we do see in real life too--people trying to either completely whitewash the actions of radical anti-oppression movements, which can do awful things, or trying to use these awful things as evidence that these people deserve discrimination when really it's a result of rage and desperation at a society that refuses to give them anything. That doesn't justify the pain of the victims of the awful things (see, Weiss) but nor does it negate the righteousness of that anger.
It does portray the faunus as a fairly diverse group too, when fiction often portrays marginalized groups as a monolith. That's not true. People from one group have very different ideas about what liberation looks like, and what they want to achieve. People in marginalized groups are people, and they can be motivated by a variety of selfless principles and egotistical validation, and neither negate the other. See, Sienna vs. Ghira vs. Adam.
Now, of course within RWBY Ghira's more nonviolent principles more or less win out. That's because RWBY is again a fairy tale where you have to fight to live, but that also doesn't endorse violence. If you expected otherwise, wrong genre. Of course the real world is far more complex, but it's not as if there is no real world basis for this either. Peacemakers exist, and nonviolence has accomplished a lot before. Whether or not that's the be-all-end-all of the faunus struggle in RWBY isn't even clear, so I don't think it's intended to be the be-all-end-all preached moral as it applies to the real world either.
Story-wise, the White Fang functions as a Jungian shadow of society. If you do not take charge of your own life, you are letting others decide for you. The faunus who disagree with the White Fang take it back, because they have to acknowledge it to move forward in society. They have to integrate with it, and accept their own humanity: capable of good and what they might rather deny.
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This faction--the faunus who don't like the White Fang--are represented in Ghira, who becomes passive and steps back from aspects of the movement. However, when Blake arrives in Menagerie, this changes, because Blake's entire arc is about integration. Ghira then becomes active, working for the rights of the faunus and for the White Fang to be better rather than simply disavowing the White Fang in an attempt to be a good person, because doing nothing isn't exactly good.
On a more character level, the White Fang exists for Blake's arc. Her Jungian archetype is the Shadow. Like, it's literally her semblance's name. Hence, the idea of the shadow is gonna be important. If you want more on this, @aspoonofsugar has written a meta on it here and another here.
So, for Blake, on a personal level the White Fang (especially under Adam) represents the parts of herself she doesn't like. The part that ran from her family. The part that is violent. And yet, she cannot abandon it or simply disavow it. No, the answer is instead:
We’re not going to destroy the White Fang. We’re going to take it back.
She has to integrate with it, take the good--the righteous anger, the focus on justice and equality.
The White Fang also comments on the microcosm/macrocosm of alchemy.
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For the unaware, RWBY is an alchemical story, and the principles of alchemy are represented in the symbol for the philosopher's stone, as seen above. Microcosm: the smaller circle enclosing two people in the center who come together (hence chemical weddings). The square is the four elements: water, earth, fire, air. The triangle is body, heart, and mind. The larger circle is the macrocosm.
The Shadows for Blake on a personal level--microcosm--is Adam. The Shadow on a worldwide, big picture scale--the macrocosm--is the White Fang. Integrating with the shadow isn't only an individualistic endeavor, but also one that benefits society as a whole and brings life to the entire world. The main point of alchemy's philosopher's stone, which Blake, along with the rest of RWBY, are symbolically being transformed into.
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I think the main issue with the White Fang, by the way, is its handling of Adam. Typically you don't kill the shadow, though I do think Blake kinda had no choice. Still, I don't think the show fully explored him.
Yet what does work with what we have is that Yang has to face Adam, Blake's shadow, to be with Blake. Yang losing her arm to Adam parallels her being upset about losing Blake to fear, because symbolically Blake can hurt her deeply in the way only a lover can. Blake has to stop running from her shadow and allow herself ot be known and seen by Yang to be with her.
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shkika · 9 months
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Got any Headcanon backstory of how each iterator was named? Like, how did No Significant Harassment get his name? How did Five Pebbles get his name? Etc, etc. I'm curious what you think!
OHH what a fun ask to make up stuff on actually. Sure I have some headcanons. Iterator names are so so fun, because there's a lot you can do with them.
Different local groups could have themes perhaps on their names. Or perhaps their names are phrases or sayings or derive from them. I will go with each colony having their individual meaning for the iterator name.
Sliver of Straw- I've talked about her name extensively here! (x) Please check it out, because I LOVE her name. Basically means needle in a haystack + shortening it to SOS is genius. Just the best.
Looks To The Moon- I don't know if this is the most original take, but I do think her name has a lot of meaning especially if you take into account that she's one of the first or at least an extremely old iterator. I compare it to the landing on the Moon in a way even if it sounds silly. This impossible to reach place is now something well withing reach. Her name is to represent looking at opportunity at the impossible and striving to achieve it. Which can connect to.. well answering the impossible ascension question.
Five Pebbles- This is such a hard one for me. But since the game makes such strong parallels between those two. Making them opposites and such it makes sense to see that in their names. While Looks to the Moon's name is grand and aiming for high achievements. Five Pebbles' name could perhaps be about the smaller mundane things. Finding the solution in a little nook or cranny somewhere close to you. A place where you'd least expect it.
One name is to aim hight and strive for the impossible. The other is about staying low and finding the answer in the small things in life. Which is hilarious if you look at their actual characters. With FP making the bold dangerous decisions and experiments and LTTM vibing like a much more grounded character than him. I love those two.
No Significant Harassment- People find his name really weird which is amusing, because it's really not! To me at least. It can very simply mean "No real harm done". Which I think is probably the intention and it suits his funny guy personality quite a lot. In a way his name could mean peace! A fun hc I discussed with @creeket is that perhaps before NSH was built the colony was divided into four factions/houses that hated each other. The iterator was a reason for them to unite and work on something together which is what the four connected diamonds on his forehead represent.
Seven Red Suns- Okay this is one of the names I struggle the most with. My headcanons about SRS which I've mentioned before is that their colony is very religious and made them as an actual god, treating him as an actual all knowing god much muuch more than the other iterators are treated to the point Seven Red Suns has actual political power (which they really don't want to have). So I think their name is supposed to express how grand and impressive they are. Seven as in complete, perfect. Red is a royal, regal color and of course Suns further cementing their godhood. It makes me think of how the sun is often personified or given a deity to represent it. It can be a cruel leader that dries the land, but also give life and light.
Of course there's many ways to take it in completely different ways. Red stars if I'm not mistaken are the coldest.
Chasing Wind- I also really really like this iterator name. I like to imagine it as either one of two things or both. Chasing after something that is right in front of you yet just barely out of grasp. Like y'know the wind! Or your head is Chasing wind. Having an abundance of thoughts or ideas. Your imagination and creativity running wild and free like the wind!
Unparalleled Innocence- It's so on the nose haha. There is no buts or anything that is a direct opposite to her name in my headcanons. She's a very well meaning innocent person. She was the last iterator to be ever made and lacks a lot more context than the other. She was based of the concept of a child. Which of course children are known for their innocence and unique approach to the world.
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is-the-owl-video-cute · 5 months
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Would love for there to be some nuance with the HP thing. "Every HP fan is an antisemitic terf" are you for real? I, and a lot of other people, grew up with Harry Potter. It was the first time that reading really sucked me in. I got a story of an "other" that found a place to belong, and in the same way, I got a community of fans that felt the same way. Now everyone who was a fan is being told to throw away that history. You can't even pretend that you liked it once.
And now I struggle. JKR is an abhorrent human being. She constantly doubles down on her bigotry, and is proud of it. I don't read any of her shitty detective novels, I'm not on Pottermore, I never got Hogwarts Legacy, even though all I wanted for years was an open world game in that universe. JKR will not see a dime of my money, nor will I involve myself in any way with anything new she does.
This whole thing has tainted so much of my childhood. I remember staying up late reading. Going to school, talking about the books with my friends who also stayed up late reading. Those were great times in my life. Now, whenever I reminisce, Tumblr is there in the back of my mind telling me how bigoted I am. How much of a TERF that I am. It's depressing.
Oh cry me an ocean about how you feel guilty that people don’t like you indulging in a piece of media that is actively used as a means to harm marginalized people in the real world. Are you actually going to come here and act as though you having social pressure to not put your Hogwarts house in your bio is anything compared to what trans people have to deal with from the author? Especially trans women in the UK. What’s depressing is you drowning in self pity about woe is you because people aren’t super stoked that you knowingly engage in something written by someone who is even now harming vulnerable people?
The thing about growing up is sometimes you have to actually grow up and stop taking things as a personal attack. If you grew up playing a video game and loving it and then it turned out the mind behind it and primary profiteer as such was actively a grand wizard of the KKK and you look back to the games and see ominous parallels between that deep hatred for marginalized people in the games themselves, I would not respect you for continuing to enjoy those games. If your favorite book was written by a serial child predator and you were bemoaning about people reacting coldly to the idea you still greatly enjoy that book, I would not feel sympathy for you. And I will not feel any level of pity for you if you are still in current year finding justifications and excuses to be a Harry Potter fan.
The implication you consider it tainted, not because you were able to reflect on how deep rooted the antisemitic and racist and pro-authoritarian themes are in the story and how easily we all just failed to notice it at the time, but because you are criticized on tumblr for still being a fan is not lost on me here.
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gffa · 3 months
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Ok over on the discord we're invested in your 9-1-1 journey and agree 100% with your assessments, but we NEED to hear your thoughts on Mr. Eddie Diaz, esp his introduction, like I still cackle that this weewoo show actually introduced a new character half-naked in slow-mo with "Whatta Man" playing in the background (and I'm sure you've figured this out but it's him and Buck that's the giant ship).
I have struggled to put my 911 thoughts into coherence because there are two giant blaring sirens going off in my brain whenever I think about this series: 1) 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 ANGELA BASSETT🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 How am I supposed to care about anything else on this show when Angela Bassett is there, being stunning and delivering a performance that's top tier every single time??? Okay, I'm being tongue-in-cheek about it, but genuinely Athena is my favorite character and the one I'm most emotionally invested in, the one that it's hard for me to look away from. It helps that I'm also deeply fond of Peter Krause because I watched Sports Night and loved him in that a lot, so connecting Bobby to Athena's story has been a double shot of my faves. 2) I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I'M SURE THEY DON'T MEAN IT BUT WHAT IS UP WITH THE WAY THEY ARE STRUCTURING THE BUDDIE DYNAMIC? Introducing a character with "Whatta Man" playing is hilarious, but even more hilarious to me is the way their arcs are kind of thematically running parallel to each other. Buck's whole character arc is about him feeling finally ready to grow up, to take on the scary parts of relationships that include responsibilities towards other people and being genuinely emotionally available, that was the entire point of getting close to Abby, who came with her sick mother that was always going to be part of her life. So, Abby leaves, then along comes Eddie who has a kid that he takes his responsibilities for very seriously, where it's not intentional to intersect with Buck's arc, but then they have them immediately interacting in a way that neither character does as much with any other character, conflicting at first, but then opening up and being real with each other and I'm sitting here going, "If one of these dudes was a lady, the way Buck just stared at Eddie with his kid, they would 100% be signally that this was building subtext." I can't say I'm deeply emotionally invested in them yet (see my Angela Bassett Problem), but it's been a wild ride watching them interact and going, wow, are they doing this on purpose? Because they sure clicked really fast. *eyebrow raise* Bonus thoughts: I knew Chimney/Maddie was going to be a thing beforehand, so do I like them because they're cute or because I was primed for them? Who knows, but they're cute! I love that they brought back Tatiana and I have to say, maybe she was kinda cold, but I was 100% on her side, because she was right. She didn't love him and if she'd gotten pulled into that, she'd have been expected to drop her entire life to be at his bedside and that's not what she wanted, I love that the show was so gentle with her and Chimney's reunion and realization that they sparked each other into realizing they each needed to get on a new path. I love that Hen got to be complicated and almost left her ex to die because it would have saved her a lot of hassle and she really hated her, but ultimately was a hero, yesssss, let queer women be complicated, messy, and ultimately heroic!
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notori · 7 months
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On a more genuine note from my previous post though: I do not think Imodna will go the same way as Vaxleth for a few reasons.
Vax's story was very personal to Liam. It always frustrates me when people act like the Raven Queen 'took Vax away' (and thus she is a bad goddess) when in fact she answered his prayer and granted his wish. Vax's story is about "Take me instead!" - not some kind of "Don't let Vex die!", and certainly not someone who was raised from the dead without their consent and bound like a puppet. Unless such an ending is expressly what Marisha wants for her character, I don't see it being narratively satisfying. Even if Laudna dies in sacrifice to save the others, because of the breadth of Delilah's power, it would be more of a general "I'm dying to save everyone" and less personal (and impactful) than Vax's trading his life for Vex's.
I joked about how this is Delilah Briarwood vs Laura Bailey again, so don't sweat it, but it's true! The players play their characters differently. Liam loves tragedy and plays it well; Laura loves romance and plays it well. Percy also had a dark streak with a hunger for power, and Vex would not let him go. I see more parallels with themes like: "I feel cruel, but in control." and "Take the mask off." Meanwhile, Imogen and Keyleth are different characters and their love interests have different relationships with death. In the end, the reason Keyleth could not do anything against the Raven Queen isn't because she's a god and Keyleth is not, but because Vax - as a paladin - chose to honour his faith and uphold his end of the deal. Imogen is not in that position because Laudna is not in that position. Laudna may see herself as just a puppet, or a risk, or a dead end - but we the audience, and Imogen, know that she is not (maybe a bit of a calculated risk). If anything, I see us on the precipice of an arc of Imogen inspiring Laudna to fight for her independence again and figuring out a way to do that (this is a world of magic after all).
And that theme of fighting for independence is something that has been there since the beginning. We have seen it both in analysis and confirmed on 4SD that Laudna's relationship with Delilah is in many ways similar to struggling with addiction. And now, into year three of C3, we are really seeing that take form when things get rough. When things get out of control, when you get desperate, that's when you grasp at anything to make it easier. It would be a real kick in the teeth to have her not overcome that struggle. Of course, there's the possibility that she does overcome that struggle by getting rid of Delilah and dying as a result. But out of game it has been referred to more in line with addiction that is constantly managed rather than addiction that is ended cold turkey - which for some people is the only way. I'll admit this one is more a personal preference but I do see it overall leaving a bad taste if Laudna were to die from Delilah in some way (again). Presuming they resolve issues with the solstice and resurrection spells, True Resurrection does exist and I'm certain the Hells would work off a 25k GP debt to bring Laudna back for good (which I see as more of a final episode/epilogue/post-game situation).
Regardless, it's a beautiful story and I'm sure that whatever happens will be what the players want. However, in this case I genuinely don't see them repeating something they have done before. Although we saw many parallels last night, there is still much which sets Imodna and Vaxleth apart narratively.
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elysiaishere · 8 months
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Genshin Nonsense — Fontaine Edition (Spoilers)
I'm overwhelmed and I'm stressed. So, here I am again with more Genshin Nonsense—Fontaine edition!
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Since 4.0 dropped, I've been swept up in all the themes and biblical references that are prevalent throughout Fontaine. So, on this episode of Genshin Nonsense, the theme is...
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Okay, maybe not quite. But, we are going to deep-dive into one particular theme: duality.
In fiction, duality is often described as a tool or a theme used to contrast two opposing perspectives, characters, etc., to showcase the complexities of a particular idea and/or issue. A common example of this is "the duality of human nature," which often explores our capacity to commit great good or to commit great evil.
In Genshin's case, dualism seems to be everywhere in Fontaine. So much so that Hoyo's writers obviously want players to take notice of a particular idea. However, what would that idea be? Let's consider the evidence:
The Arkhe
The Arkhe is an energy system exclusive to Fontaine, used to power the elaborate machines and various automatons found throughout the region. It is composed of two parts: Ousia and Pneuma. Most notably, Ousia and Pneuma are opposing forces. This reflects in their appearance too: Ousia is a dark blue, almost purple, while Pneuma shines bright like gold.
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Beyond that, our information about Arkhe is extremely limited. We still don't know what creates this energy or where it initially originated from. In fact, the only other additional information we have (that seems relevant here) is that when Ousia and Pneuma come into contact with each other, they create an energy reaction called "Mutual Annihilation."
The Primordial Sea
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In short, the Primordial Sea seems to have two primary abilities: to create life and to take life.
Neuvillette confirmed as such in 4.1, stating that the Primordial Sea is where all life on Teyvet evolved. However, during the court cases we explored in 4.0, we're well aware that the Primordial Sea can also dissolve the people of Fontaine—and this process, unfortunately, is permanent.
The Hydro Archon and the Hydro Dragon
Furina and Neuvillette are often presented as polar opposites.
Furina is theatrical, lively, and expressive, while Neuvillette is reserved, thoughtful, and cautious. If anything, they're each other's literary foils. Her surface confidence, public speaking, and social intelligence showcase an individual able to connect with the people around her. Comparatively, Neuvillette struggles with this. On the other hand, his confidence is innate, and he demonstrates a stability that is at complete odds with Furina's chaos.
Nonetheless, I believe the parallels between them run much deeper, still. Not only as Furina and Neuvillette, but as the Hydro Archon and the Hydro Dragon.
In our conversation with Neuvillette at the end of 4.1, we learn that the Gnoses were, in some part, created from the stolen power of the original Dragon Sovereigns. To me, this means that, by nature, Furina and Neuvillette should be mortal enemies. She encompasses all that he's lost, after all, and in turn, he represents a bygone age that poses a severe threat to her already tumultuous rule. However, our in-game experiences with them suggest that their personal relationship is nothing of the sort.
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If anything, Furina and Neuvillette showcase how two contradictory forces can instead be complementary.
Furina
Furina is a living, breathing dichotomy. Even her visuals showcase this: her mismatched gloves, her inverted eye colours, her hair length, etc. Symmetry, it seems, is the real enemy of Fontaine.
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Nonetheless, I think the most interesting contrast about Furina is her personality.
As I implied earlier, Furina is a study in contradiction. Her outward bravado masks an anxious mind, and intense, overwhelming worries. But, that isn't to say that Furina is all bravado. No. I believe her enthusiasm and charisma is just as much a part of her as her apparent insecurities are.
She's a person, with dreams, ambitions, worries and fears. If anything, she is the most human Archon we've met thus far.
Conclusion
Duality. Parallels. Contrasting perspectives.
Whatever it's called, Fontaine evidently demonstrates these ideas in abundance—including a few additional points I didn't touch upon here. Nonetheless, I think one possible message Hoyo's writers are foreshadowing is this: there are always two sides to every story.
Not only does this particular message fit with the duality theme, but it also nestles quite nicely with Fontaine's philosophies around law and justice. After all, we are unable to pass judgement until we have all the facts, and presently, our picture of the ongoing happenings in Fontaine are far from complete. And I suspect, even when we do have the whole story, it'll be complex, and full of dichotomies.
Meaning, there will be no "right" answer. Just the consequences of the decisions Furina, Neuvillette and wider Fontaine make.
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Annon-Guy: What are your thoughts on Rachel Alucard and Mei Amanohokosaka as characters?
I'm asking because Tsundere type characters being devisive, with Harsh Tsunderes being hated for being "abusive" girls that deserve to die for attacking physically and/or verbally.(whether they're in love or not)
It's apparent that we Western Fans (no offense to you) don't view them the way Japanese Fans do.
It is interesting how widely JP and Western tastes differ! I have a buddy who is really into studying fandom culture, and we’ve talked about the wildly different reactions to tsundere between the cultures! I wonder if I should call her in sometime to discuss why that is…
Anyways, personally I have no problem with the archetype. Sometimes they can annoy me, especially if they feel ‘forced’ into their archetype; if the character seems mean for “absolutely no reason,” to the point where it breaks my immersion, then I tend to dislike them.
I’ve never had this issue with BlazBlue, though. I really, really like BlazBlue’s character writing. I’d still say that if I ever met these girls in real life, I probably wouldn’t want to go drinking with them… but as characters in their stories, and as believable products of their environments, I adore them!!
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- - - - RACHEL = ALUCARD
Rachel is SUCH a tragic fucking character. You can like or dislike how she’s coping with it, but if you engage with her character on any meaningful level, you have to acknowledge that her cruel, jaded behavior is a believable response to the situation she’s in. It’s not nice, it’s not pretty- neither is the life she’s trapped in. In what world has trauma or helplessness ever made us prettier, cleaner people?
She’s cold, distant, unempathetic- because if she lets herself remember how much she cares, the weight of it all might break her. She’s incredibly sensitive under that cold porcelain shell; she snaps into aggression very quickly when under pressure. Specifically when confronted things that she hasn’t been able to distance herself from, things she cares too much about to feign distant superiority.
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- - - - MEI = AMANOHOKOSAKA
Powerlessness is something of a through-line among the tsundere characters in BB. Mei is also a character struggling with powerlessness, pain, and fear; and she responds to her situation n a lot of the same ways Rachel does.
To avoid feeling weak or trapped, she falls back on her lineage, seeking escape in her sense of pride. She’d rather tell everyone (including herself) that she’s separate and above everything around her. The alternative would require her to face the horrible truth that if she did try to seek comfort or companionship under her employment (servitude, extortion, etc.) to Unomaru, she would be denied it.
Her fear turns to aggression when backed into a corner, when her mask of aloof superiority can no longer protect her. In these cases, she can be explosively emotional; which isn’t at all surprising, considering how much she’s bottling up all the time.
Thinking about it a little, Rachel and Mei share a few more parallels, don’t they??? They both get very quiet when they let down their walls, reflecting the exhaustion they suffer from. They’re both in a uniquely knowledgeable position, with access to information about the world that most people don’t have, which further serves to alienate them- and creates this sort of “being the world’s protector” feeling I’d argue they both express.
They both lost their parents incredibly young, inheriting positions of nobility, leadership, and responsibility they were certainly not prepared for. They both keep going in the hope that a specific man in their lives will one day be able to have a future.
Their designs share several elements too. A delicate, doll-like feel to their features. Long straight hair that veils them from the world (despite Rachel tying hers up) and, in JP media, often symbolizes spiritualism and divinity. They both wear lolita fashion, with many layers that could also be argued to ‘shield’ them from the rest of the world, providing a form of mental armor and obscuring how small and fragile they are under it all.
I doubt these similarities are coincidence.
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oshiawaseni · 1 year
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Do you think if Izuku was a girl Bakudeku would have been seen cannon from day one? I mean Bakugo seems to also have all the tropes of a female romantic love interest in Shonen and the reason why many don't think Bakugo's feelings towards Deku are of a romantic nature is because Deku is a boy. Here's to Bakudeku becoming cannon <3
If the story managed to miraculously stay the exact same story with the only difference being Katsuki is a girl (coz let’s face it, he was the princess being abducted by LOV and held so protectively by Izuku in the Vol 37 cover), then yes. Everyone would be bkdk and all other ships would seem delusional, the way Izuochas/other fans think we are. It’s just ‘cause it’s happening between two guys that people stop caring about the moments that develop or hint at their romance. And this is something Hori wants to change.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but Hori represents BkDk in a super wholesome way without many traces of sexual desire. Because he wanted shounen readers to see their love as something real and beautiful, and not being made just for the sake of BL or fetish.
Though tbf, he has occasionally depicted Kacchan as ikemen, maybe to help us imagine Izuku’s struggle to hold back his feelings for him.
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Kacchan is gorgeous, and yet his combative personality has scared away girls his whole life. And here we have Izuku always having accepted him for who he is and never distancing himself from him despite the many attempts by Kacchan to reject and send him away!
But anyway, Hori focussed so heavily on the emotions they feel towards each other because he wants readers to look at pure romantic love between a boy and another boy and understand it has no difference whatsoever with the love between a girl and a boy.
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This also might be another reason why baby Decchan memories come up sometimes with Kacchan’s POV, or why Noguchi drew so many pictures of their childhood.
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Because Katsuki and Izuku seem to be each other’s first love, and while feelings grew rotten for a while, the deep love they have for each other now comes from an incredibly sweet and pure origin.
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How Hori is gonna pull this off really has my interest now because he has written bkdk so beautifully up until this point, so I have high expectations for his future plans to bring them together.
Update: I just wanted to add that my heart is so full right now from the KiriMina/BkDk parallels in ch.383. Canon BkDk really is coming right at us and it feels like Hori is going to bombard doubters with reminders of their love until they practically beg Hori to end their misery, and just draw what he has been waiting to draw for so many years, lol. 😊
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armpirate · 2 months
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Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 12
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Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating
Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting
Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.
Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.
After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.
He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.
Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 
Previous || Next
MASTERLIST
Aprox. time of reading: 14 minutes
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San looked so determined when he said he'd find a nice place to eat, just to end up regretting it five minutes later when they arrived at the restaurant area and he found himself struggling to find the place that could adapt to her the most. It wasn't like there were a lot of restaurants, which probably made it even harder for him to pick the right one.
—Um —he thought out loud—. There isn't much to choose from.
—It's alright. Let's just go wherever you want —she shrugged.
Seeing his eyes moving to the four open restaurants was a quite new experience for her. She was convinced he probably would've found the best place to eat in less than a second if he had been by himself, but his hesitation was more connected to the way he wanted to have her also enjoying her food.
—What are you craving? —San turned to her.
—Hmm... That Mexican restaurant looks pretty good.
—Let's go, then.
Her thoughts started to sound weird when she internally started praising San for such a small gesture as to having consideration for what she wanted, and she realized the type of men she had been seeing ever since she broke up with her ex boyfriend to be thinking that his attitude was one of a kind and deserving of the amount of praise she was throwing his way.
After they reached their table, she could almost touch his nervousness in front of her. It was like one thick brick around him, and that also limited a lot of his actions and words.
—You know you can relax, right? —she joked, looking at him over the menu.
—I'm relaxed —he sighed.
—No, you're not —her eyes slowly went back to the plastified paper in front of her—. You don't need to impress me, so you can calm down.
His body stopped to slightly bounce with the constant movements of his legs, fixing his eyes on her and completely ignoring the menu he was holding.
—You're not being tested, and I'm not here to judge you, just feel free to behave however you want —she shrugged, leaving the menu back on the table—. Just treat me as a friend. Would that make you more comfortable?
—I think so —he slowly nodded.
—You need to take it easy. Relax —the way she moved her hands made it seem as if she was taking something invisible off her shoulders—. I have enough with having people look like their balls are being stepped on when I'm walking by at work.
—Yikes, that sounds... —he grimaced just at the mere thought of it— hurtful.
—Uh-hum. I'm a heel on a ball.
Her humor was so random, and weird, that it instantly made him feel better at his own self. She wasn't scared of being open with that side of her, she was already doing more than asked to make it as easy for him, it was just fair he tried to do the same thing.
—I don't think you're a heel on a ball, more like a kick.
Maybe he tried a little too much.
Y/n stopped, lifting her eyes back to him, only to blurt out a chuckle at his comment and how nervous he looked after.
—I mean it because it's less painful, not because I think you're like a kick on the balls. Although, it's not like I know what it's like to be stepped on...
—You're doing it again —her eyebrows raised with her warning.
—Sorry.
Her gaze intensified with his apology, warning him without saying a word.
—So, I guess life at work didn't change? —he brought up, trying to reconnect the light-hearted conversation with something they could actually talk about.
—Well, it got slightly worse —her head quickly tilted, squirming just at the thought of the environment in her office—. There was a ramp down recently, and teams had to choose two people to fire them. Except mine, because I chose to earn less, so part of my salary would go to those two people, only for them to look at me as if I were the devil —she commented on the side.
—For what? You took a decision no one else would've taken.
—They don't know I did that, so they just think I kept my whole team because I'm the boss' daughter —she finally added—. It's alright though. I didn't do it for people to praise me for it.
—Honestly... After seeing my father getting kicked out of his position for a similar situation, your choice should be recognized —he softly said—. Not a lot of people would choose sympathy over greediness. It just shows off the kind of person that you are.
San seemed so genuine while he said those words, that Y/n couldn't help but smile, feeling full and proud of herself after receiving that praise from someone else that wasn't her own self while looking in the mirror.
It felt so different.
—What about you? How's your master going?
—It's going well —he puckered his lips, trying to think of something to be able to fill up the conversation naturally the same way she did—. Yeah... I bet you already know what it is like.
—Well, it's not really the same —she giggled—. Is that teacher still being an asshole to you?
—He seems to have a radar —he finally let out—. And if someone didn't send me texts only when I'm with him...
—Are you blaming me? —she pointed at herself, faking offense— If you need to answer one of my texts that fast, even during that class, it's because you want to talk to me really bad —and that was a checkmate—. Am I wrong?
His lips started moving nervously, stuttering the words before he was able to say them. Of course he wanted to talk to her, of course he was willing to take any chance to keep talking to her, but wasn't it too much to admit it just like that?
—May I take your order?
Saved by the bell.
While San rushed to shift his attention from her to the waiter, Y/n smiled at him, shaking her head lightly.
There was something so funny about making him so nervous.
—You're so different —she thought out loud, after the waiter left with their command.
—What?
—I wouldn't have expected you to be like this when we first talked —Y/n continued.
—Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
—Good —she quickly nodded—. I like this version much better than the Soundleasure one —she admitted.
—You do?
—It's different —her lips puckered while she approved what she had just said—. The person on those videos seems like a whole different you, you're more approachable than you might seem.
—I guess it's what you can call a character? —he doubted— Soundleasure doesn't have any limits or real problems, no struggles, no insecurities —he smiled down—. He just has to be there and put on a sexy voice. And I'm just... me.
—Hey! It's so hard to be just you —she joked.
While he smiled and looked at her, San wondered if it'd have been like that between them even if he hadn't stopped talking to her all of a sudden.
—I'm sorry —she looked confused at those two words—. I shouldn't have ghosted you. I guess I was intimidated and scared of what you'd think of me, and ran away instead of giving you an explanation.
—Hmm... Did I look that out of reach? —her eyebrow raised— It's alright —her tone turned softer with those words—. Just... next time... try talking it out before running away —she asked—. Honestly, I was kinda intimidated, too.
—You? No shit.
—Yes shit —she nodded—. I guess it's normal. You connect with someone online, hit it off, and then you wonder if it'd have been the same if you had met in person. Or if the chemistry is real and not just a projection of what you want on those texts and calls. I guess that's why I wanted us to meet.
—I guess we could try to still be in contact after all of this ends.
—I guess so —she agreed.
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The rest of the lunch went by in such a comfortable and carefree environment, that San felt free to let go of the pressure a bit more with each passing minute. Talking with Y/n was easy. It didn't matter if it was through a screen or face to face, he just loved how he could be himself with her without worrying about anything else.
At least until the time to pay the bill arrived.
She looked nervous, and uneasy, looking one way and the other, moving on her seat nervously while they waited to pay for the food.
At first he thought it could possibly be because she didn't want him to pay, or because she felt bad about the price of the food they ate, but she was still in that uneasy state even after they left the restaurant.
Her hand quickly hooked on his wrist, dragging him out of the restaurant area to take him back to the shops.
—Where are we going?
—We can't be here —she whispered.
—Why not? You're acting as if I hadn't paid for the food —he looked confused.
Y/n was about to answer what he asked, but her words got stuck in her throat when she saw her father walking to the place where they were at, forcing her to quickly push San towards the bathroom corridor and hide as they stayed glued to the wall.
—What's going on?
—My father's here.
—What?
The way he asked with a high-pitched tone, making most of the people coming or getting out of the restrooms made her grimace, placing her index over her lips to ask him to stay quiet.
—My assistant told him I left early, and he called me. I thought that by saying I was with you, he'd decide to leave me alone. But he thought now was the best time to meet you, and now we're hiding from him because I need you to change your clothes before you meet him.
She stepped back, aware of his confused look mixed with the glimpses of scare.
—Sorry.
Her hand dragged his hood over his head, hiding his face before she pushed him towards the male restrooms.
—Y/n?
She stood straight at the thick voice of her father, finally aware of the way he was looking at her when he noticed where she was.
—The female's bathroom is on the other side.
—I know —she quickly nodded—. It's just that San needed to go to the restroom.
—And you were planning on going with him —his thick eyebrow raised.
—No, of course not.
—Why don't we wait for him in the cafe?
—Hmm, you go. I'll stay here —she tried to encourage him.
—Your boyfriend won't escape —his fingers gently hooked around her elbow—. Let's go.
That was exactly what she was afraid of, that San would sneakily escape, impulsed by the pressure.
After they took a seat in one of the cafes, back in the restaurant area, she made sure to let San know where they were, so he'd be able to find them once he got out of the restroom. And her father just waited for her to leave the phone aside to engage in a conversation with her, which was always related to the same thing: the company. It varied from what happened throughout the day, future projects, or gossip in the office, but it was always centered in that office she spent most of her day at.
It wasn't like she cared much about it in any way. What were they supposed to talk about? They both worked in the same place, they both saw each other every single day. There wasn't much to talk about other than that.
Her part of the conversation got interrupted suddenly, with the words slowly losing their power as soon as she looked up at the door of the establishment.
San's figure looked even better from afar with that outfit. She was surprised by how marked his waist was, with the black shirt tucked in inside his pants and secured with the black leather belt that fitted it all. But more importantly, she was surprised to see him walking over there with determination, taking his time before he stopped behind her father.
—Babe —Y/n excitedly called him.
Her father quickly turned to the man behind him as Y/n got up from her place to wrap her arm around his, gluing their bodies together.
—You wanted to meet him, and he's here —she cheered relieved—. This is San, my boyfriend. And this is my father —Y/n pointed at the old man, who didn't even make the attempt to get up from his seat—: Harry...
—Mister Y/s for you, though —he interrupted Y/n, quickly making clear how San should refer to him.
—Of course —San nodded— Nice to meet you, sir.
—Come on —she whispered, patting his upper arm to get him to take the seat next to hers.
Although he tried to adopt that mature and confident aura Y/n had hinted at while they were shopping, his real self was slowly coming through as the environment got thicker under the exigent look that was coming from the man's dark eyes.
—So, you're the famous San —he thought out loud, scanning the young man in front of him—. My daughter kept you from me like a secret. It's almost like you came out of nowhere
—Really? —he nervously laughed— It does look like it, doesn't it? —he mumbled.
—It's not that —she quickly added—. You know how private I've always been. That's why it seems like it came out of nowhere —she smiled.
—So... —her father tried to redirect the conversation somewhere else— Y/n told me you specialized in computer engineering.
—Yeah, I'm finishing the masters this year.
—But my daughter told me you were already working as such.
Y/n's face quickly distorted, pressing her lips tight and furrowing her eyebrows when she assumed they were already caught on their lies.
It lasted more than she'd have expected.
—I did, of course —San tried to get some control back—. I graduated, then started working, and then thought it'd be better to perfectionate my career. So I started a Master's program, right? —he tried to look at Y/n for support— But it's getting tough, so I left the company I was working at just last week. That's why Y/n didn't know.
—So you don't tell my daughter everything?
—Hmm...
—He told me, but I forgot —Y/n seconded, trying to save him—. Silly boy, don't you remember you told me the other night?
—Ah, ye... yeah. That's right! —he was desperately trying to keep up with the conversation—. I've been so busy and stressed lately that my head is a mess.
—Yet you still have time to see my daughter —his dark eyes moved between Y/n and San, unaware of how each of their features broke as each second went by—. That's really important. My girl deserves to be dedicated twenty five hours out of twenty four.
San could feel the weight on his shoulder slowly being lifted as he saw her father smiling widely, happy with the improvised answer he had just come up with.
—She's just as busy, actually. Always closed in that damned office. So it's good to see she's met someone that would understand her lifestyle, but would also push her out of it.
Y/n's smile turned more genuine and relaxed with every new word her father let out, praising San for his attitude towards her.
—So how did you two meet?
—A dat... hmm! —he held back the painful moan that was about to come out when her fingers pinched his side, right on his ribs.
—A blind date —she nodded—. We have a friend in common, so yeah. We kinda kicked off like that.
—Yeah, it was love at first sight —San tried to add.
—Was it? My daughter has always been quite adamant to that idea —his chuckle almost made San panic again.
—It was different with him —she tried to save face—. You know what you've always said about feeling butterflies in your stomach and light music playing in the background when you met mom? It was something similar.
—Huh —her father's smile went wide again—. So, tell me about you, San.
—About me? I don't have much to tell about myself.
And while it seemed like he did have things to tell about himself, the conversation quickly shifted from what was he aspiring to do in his future to the last match of the Patriots. Something that was supposed to be a meeting to give his approval to her new boyfriend, turned into a Patriots fan meeting to discuss several many things she didn't care about.
—Finally someone with good taste —her father cheered—. My daughter always goes for the New York Giants.
—Really? —San seemed so natural in his reaction, that she wondered at what moment he broke character, comfortable enough to be himself— How can you not support the Patriots?
Something she couldn't argue about: football. Her eyes instantly threw daggers at him when he even attempted to start the teasing.
—They're a good choice, too —San tried to get her glare to soften at him.
—I have an idea —her father quickly.
—No, you don't —Y/n tried to stop him, almost as if she were reading his mind.
—I'll host a barbecue this weekend with some friends, why don't you come?
—I'd love to —San rushed to answer, leaving Y/n with her lips parted as she unsuccessfully tried to come up with an excuse.
—Fine, then I'll be waiting for you two —he shifted his gaze to Y/n—. I'll prepare your favorite dessert.
She knew what it meant: she wasn't allowed to make up any excuses not to go.
Shortly after, her father left with an urgent phone call that was going to draw him back to the office, not before reminding San that he'd be waiting for him.
—He liked me, right? —San said excitedly.
Without answering, Y/n hit his upper arm, taking him by surprise.
—What?
—You were supposed to meet him today, and not see him again —she whined—. Why did you say that you'd go?
—I thought it'd have looked bad if I had said I wouldn't —he tried to defend himself.
Y/n huffed, knowing he was right, but also frustrated because she kept thinking declining it would've been the best idea.
—We could tell him something came up?
—That wouldn't work out —she pouted, puckering her lips before she turned to him again—. Why did you have to start talking about football?
—I wanted to sell off that confident facade. And I only thought I'd be able to pull it out that way —he tried to justify himself.
Now they were in deeper trouble. Y/n knew how important those barbecues were, and how it meant more than just watching an innocent football match on the big TV of her parents' house. It also meant building bridges of trust and intimacy with some of the partners her father always worked with. 
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holdoncallfailed · 2 months
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do you ever think about the parallels between damon and graham and paul and john? the childhood best friends and inseparable creative partners, one is the pusher for the dream, and the other one is the arty emotional live wire, the jealousy, competitiveness, emotional breakdown, and dissatisfaction/unhappiness with their dynamic. eventually, one gets a new creative partner, and the wedge becomes a chasm. yet only one of them got the opportunity to fully reconcile while the other was robbed of it.
of course, they're not the same, and the level of success does make for a lot of that separation. but I see how much time and effort it took for damon and graham to rebuild their relationship, knowing it couldn't go to what it once was but still working to repair it. glad they did, especially when you hear paul say that one should never put off telling someone you love them.
yeeeesss this has been a point of great interest for myself and certain other rpf scholars on this site (hi @elena-ferrante). watching paul in get back really reminded me of damon lol...i think it's interesting that part of the tension between d&g and j&p is that the domineering control freak "spokesman" member of the pair comes across as the one calling the shots but is in fact so full of admiration for and places such a high value on the opinion of the other that he becomes sort of deferential to him... i think they all struggle(d) with their identities and public images being intertwined. but i also think that there is/was more love between them than we could possibly understand from the outside. i really sincerely think that john and paul would have reconciled if they'd been given enough time.
speaking more broadly to your point about the wedge & the chasm: i think another thing about why bands are so interesting and why they capture the public imagination is that they frequently present this homosocial fantasy of companionship that is very much rooted in an adolescent configuration of life , i.e. hanging out with your friends all the time, doing whatever you want, responsible for only yourselves, obligated to each other out of a shared passion. and that lifestyle is not compatible with The Institution of Adulthood, i.e. stable career, marriage and family-rearing, which still feels compulsory—if not totally inescapable—for most people in [heterosexual] society. a band can be a world unto itself but it is not the real world. there are soooooooooo many examples of bands falling apart once a member gets married and/or commits to a new creative partner because that development inevitably ruins the fantasy on which the band was built, consciously or subconsciously. the real world comes careening back into focus...and you can't ever get that old life back once you've deviated from it.
i think the assumption within heterosexual society that homosociality is something that one "ages out of" is very pervasive (and homophobic, natch, but we don't have to get into that now). that homosocial relationships—or even friendships more generally—are always ultimately secondary to romantic relationships (specifically marriage) is something that i think a lot of people struggle with as they move further into adulthood (i know i am lol). it just happened on a much more drastic scale for these guys because of their fame.
also so much of the stuff in this post is very damon & graham coded...
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well anyway let's all kill ourselves.
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Hello! Hope I am not bothering but I wanted to ask: in your post about BSD chapter 109 you mentioned Soukoku dying together eventually and it being hinted at, can you elaborate on that? I mean, I remember the scene in SB with Mori but I do not remember Fifteen very well and where it was hinted at there… Thanks in advance!
Good day, anon! Thank you for your question, I appreciate it:)
Alright so in fiftheen, it's mostly in the subtext of the story.
a good example of this is Dazai's will to live in the fifthteen light novel.
So in the beggining of the story, Dazai is shown to be ultimately bored of life, he only stayed alive to somehow get closer to the human condition, thus, a reason to live yet to be found.
But with the passage of time and nothing catching Dazai off guard or closer to the value of human life, he was basically giving up.
Until Chuuya showed up, of course.
So back to the main point however, Dazai was bored, and when he first met Chuuya, he was still bored.
It was up until the moment that Chuuya kicked the gun right out of Dazai's hands that he got caught off guard and emotionally moved. (Check out the link if necesarry!<3)
Chuuya's impact on Dazai's life is actually so important to the narrative of Fifthteen, paralleling Rimbaud and Verlaine's partnership as well.
It was Chuuya who gave Dazai an intrest in the Port Mafia, not just because of the possibilities of finding meaning through other people, but to find meaning in his partnership with Chuuya.
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So, in short, Chuuya helped Dazai find meaning, but honestly, Dazai said it better:
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Anyways, it wasn't only Dazai that was battling with a reason to live, Chuuya was too.
In the start of the novel, Chuuya was heavily struggling with his identity, and in order to fill that void, he blindly was loyal to people who constantly overworked him.
It was Dazai who shifted Chuuya's perspective, albiet quite manipulating, it still got Chuuya to realize how he truly wasn't being a leader to the sheep, he was just being used.
I think the scene im painting is sort of evident for die hard bsd fans, Chuuya's (and Dazai's?) verbal confrontation with the sheep:
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to make it quick and actually get to the point: Chuuya found a purpose thanks to Dazai and his recruitment to the Port Mafia.
Now you all probably think i'm absolutely off the rails wondering what this have to do with the original question, but i promise, I have a point! Just walk this through with me and you will get it too:)
During Fifthteen, we don't fully see hints of them dying together, but we do see Chuuya and Dazai metaphorically at the brink of death giving each other a reason to keep going through their partnership.
Their reasoning to live is so intrically connected to one another, as well as their dream of persuing the real human condition.
And that's what the subtext of Fifthteen is all about, their partnership bringing a fresh new outlook on something they believed was dead or possibly didn't exist.
But time passes, soukoku's narrative is running out and being "replaced" with shin soukoku's.
Their motivations, their abilities, and their lives are so intertwined that of course, if one dies, the other will follow.
Atleast that's my interpretation of it all! I am not Asagiri and can only assume with what's been shown and hinted so, let's see what he has in store for us<3
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18 on the choose violence 😏
EDIT: As y'all may have guessed, my queue I was saving drafts of these in was running last night and I forgot to switch the time over so here's the real answer.
18 - It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: you want me to CHOOSE?!? You expect me to CHOOSE just ONE character from Sandman that the fandom sleeps on?!?!?!? Oh, jail for 1000 years - well let me spin the roulette wheel Rose and Jed.
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ROSE. God I'm emotional about her. She's been through so much, the loss of her baby brother with a father who it's implied was not the nicest, lost her mother and her best friend in the same year, and she nearly destroyed the world but yknow what, she literally did nothing wrong here. She called Dream an asshole and totally got away with it. She's got gay hair and gayer friends (fellow bi!Rose truthers anyone???? Hello??? Someone else please discuss, queer people do all tend to flock together) and I hope she gets everything she wants.
I really want to explore the possibilities of a growing relationship with her and her immortal family sometime. Morpheus isn't just going to forget about her and Jed and him looking out for her baby brother is the only way I can see her kind of starting to warm up to him again. Like I WANT to see that weird tense but possibly loving relationship explored. Dream clearly respected her intelligence and wanted to give her more information (even if he was also using her to find the Corinthian which. Not cool).
(Also I think she'd go NUTS for the library of Dreams. Like she's a writer and suddenly she's seeing all the books never published?? Who wouldn't want to read them all?)
I have feelings about the parallels between her and Death. Plus I have a hc as some of my friends already know, that in one of Rose's low moments Despair finds her and something about the fact that this girl is family tugs at her. She has her function and her duties but she also has a sense of loyalty. So that could cause some seriously juicy potential internal conflict for her AND Rose honestly kind of needs an outlet for her bottled up grief and the weightof responsibility she feels. For Jed, for Lyta and her son...feel free to ask or dm me if you want to know more this post is already long enough xD
(And the fact that in a series where she's ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS for multiple episodes of this series she gets so much less attention ON HER OWN SELF - I'm talking art and fic overall PERIOD, let alone stuff where she gets any interiority of her own or her character taken seriously is just. I don't even know man)
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jED. My precious baby boy my son. I want to give him a hug. I want to wrap him in a warm blanket and give him cocoa and as much popcorn as he wants. Dream's reaction to Jed was in fact channeling me. This kid has been through too much and he deserves to live a happier life with his sister, so thank God he's gonna get it.
(But also does anyone wanna talk to me about the fact that Jed is a possible candidate for Dream's successor when he's older and might be even more viable than MASSIVE COMIC SPOILER ALERT Daniel Hall and all the ways this could complicate things HELLO.)
Miranda Walker - either the gif search function is broken which isn't beyond the realm of possibility here, or I couldn't find one gif of her in this show. And I KNOW people have made them I just can't find one...sigh
But I really want her to get more attention because her story is so potentially fascinating even if she barely got any screen time. Like this girl is the granddaughter of Desire, that must've massively impacted her life. I want to know how she dealt with the relationship with her children's father going sour and him taking Jed away and her struggling to raise her kids.
And last but certainly not least drumroll please...UNITY. That's right we're giving the whole Walker-Kincaid family some love!!
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HER. The queen the legend the moment.
Her story man...it gets me emotional every time. She could've had a life in the waking world. I really want to see more about what her dream life (which we know she experienced as real, with time passing and all, because of the things she said about it) was like. Even without Desire, how did she handle basically growing up in Wonderland surrounded by dreams? (I can't take credit for the Alice in Wonderland vibes that was @violetoftheendless 's great idea.) Did she make friends and a new found family there? Did she see signs she didn't understand at the time of dreams and nightmares falling into chaos and eventually leaving the realm in a slow trickle?
But also she's just such a genuinely lovely person. She took Rose into her heart without a second thought and was prepared to take Jed - I'm sure she didn't know how much more time she had but she knew she didn't have forever, and she wanted a family again and she'd lost her own parents long ago and never gotten to say goodbye...and the kicker is, unlike in the comic where she's basically on her deathbed already, she COULD have possibly lived a little longer. But she chose to sacrifice her new life to save Rose's. If this woman doesn't deserve the Spirit of Love label like I've seen in some truly beautiful meta from @windsweptinred I don't know who does. BUT ALSO she's not a perfect inhuman angel either, she is capable of being charmed by the Corinthian, which - looking around at the fandom, one can see she's not alone so I for one can't blame her too much, but also she met the king of dreams and nightmares and within less than 5 minutes called him a himbo to his face. She's beautifully human with icon behavior and Sandra James-Young deserves all the credit in the world for this role.
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antianakin · 5 months
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Maybe it's my personal bias, but a dark Ahsoka trying to get back in to the WBW because the whole mess from Anakin and then never actually processing her feelings, grief, anger etc leading her to thinking she can "fix" everything by "saving" Anakin. Not really thinking of the repercussions.
And have it be that she isn't trying to change the timeline for selfless reasons, but because she wants Anakin back. That misplaced sort of blame that comes when you over idolize someone. It was only Palpatine's fault, she tries to believe, Anakin wouldn't have done this all unprompted.
In trying to get back to the WBW having her actually process her emotions and the events and realize she's putting herself and her former master on pedestals to cope. Gradually working on herself.
Or not. Idk having Ahsoka unhealthily cope with grief in a way almost paralleling Anakin (trying to cheat death for Padme and failing anyway) sounds cool to me. Or maybe I'm just exhausted.
This would certainly make a real cool AU! The one thing making me hesitate is that she explicitly says while in the WBW in Rebels that Ezra can't save his master just like she can't save hers and never shows any real inclination towards trying to use it to save Anakin. So if you went with this concept, you'd have to figure out why she changed her mind on it or you'd just have to pretend like that moment didn't happen.
But in general I think that the idea really works! Like, I wouldn't want her to actually MAKE IT to the WBW or anything, I don't want any weird time travel shenanigans for her to mess with, but I think the idea of her TRYING to get back to it so she can fix Anakin, or fix what she did wrong or something could be a really interesting goal for her to have throughout a season where she's dealing with her Anakin feelings. Especially if we assume she's slightly fucked up from Malachor and its Sith bullshit in addition to her regular emotional struggles.
And in the she has to give it up. Like maybe she finds a way to do it, a way to open one of those doors, but doing so would have some sort of consequence and she has to choose between her selfish desire to "save" Anakin and fix what she believes are her own mistakes, or keeping that particular consequence from happening. Maybe people she's grown close to over the course of the story will be killed or put at risk if she opens the door, and she has to let it go, let ANAKIN go, in order to protect them.
That version of Anakin is gone, he's dead, and the version of him that exists now is clearly unwilling to be saved, at least by her, and all she can do is accept that and move on. Let go of her guilt, let go of her fears, just... let go. MAYBE her choice to leave the Order spurred him down that path, but maybe it didn't. Maybe Anakin made his own choices based on things entirely unrelated to her. Maybe if she'd been there she could've helped him, but maybe she'd have just been killed with all the rest. She'll never know and she has to come to terms with that before she can move forward with her life. She might've left first, but Anakin left her, too, and he took everything else she loved with him when he did.
In an ideal world, this would lead Ahsoka to do a lot of reflecting on her past with Anakin as she tries to figure out how far back she'd have to go to "save" him and she realizes just how dark he already was when she knew him and ultimately realizes that HE WAS DARK WHEN SHE MET HIM. There were things that happened to him, things he'd probably already chosen to DO, long before she'd met him that were already taking him down the path to darkness, things she'll likely never know or understand. But it allows her to see Anakin so much more truthfully than she'd ever done before. No longer does she view Anakin through the rosy lens of childhood hero worship, she can see how often he struggled with his own darkness and the ways it impacted their relationship, the way it's continuing to impact her NOW.
There were good moments, and she'd loved him, but he was dark long before she knew him and that's something she HAS to accept about him if she's ever going to let him go. There were things Anakin did to her that weren't okay, there were things Anakin taught her that were wrong and caused her to start down her own darker path, and until she can recognize that Anakin FAILED HER, she'll never be able to find her way BACK. She'll never be a Jedi until she acknowledges this very important and vital truth about Anakin and her apprenticeship under him. He WASN'T a good master and he WASN'T a good Jedi. He was sometimes a good PERSON, but he'd ultimately decided to leave that behind, too. He wasn't the person she'd thought he was and unless she wants to become him, she has to acknowledge where he made mistakes so she can keep from making the same ones herself.
So yeah, I think this idea has a LOT of merit and could definitely be a very interesting path to take Ahsoka on!
#star wars#ahsoka tano#anakin critical#anakin skywalker critical#anti anakin#anti anakin skywalker#god i hate ahsoka claiming he was a 'good master' in the ahsoka show#i think there is a difference between ahsoka acknowledging he had goodness in him and they had good MOMENTS#and ahsoka acting like he was genuinely a good MASTER#they aren't the same thing nor do they have to be#she DIDN'T know anakin#she DIDN'T understand him#and a lot of what anakin taught her is what has caused her the most pain#anakin's teachings are what ultimately led her on a path away from the jedi#anakin's teachings are what cause a rift between her and the jedi#personally i feel like instead of having ahsoka apparently thinking only negative things about anakin#and then having to decide no actually he was good#i would've had her go the OPPOSITE direction to follow up on her rebels personality#ahsoka REFUSES to accept the truth about anakin and wants to save him because she doesn't think he'd have ever chosen this#not without some kind of mind control#and on that path she has to recognize that actually anakin wasn't that perfect kind master she'd chosen to see him as#anakin had darkness and attachments and he struggled with it A LOT#and it was anakin's failure that left her floundering#and she'll only be a jedi herself when she can see anakin for WHO HE ACTUALLY WAS#he was selfish and he was greedy and he was irresponsible and insensitive and impatient#he was a bad teacher and until she can acknowledge that she'll always be walking a path AWAY from being a jedi
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