#and I made several spelling mistakes that I refused to fix

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Kinktober Day 6: Cockbulge

Pairings: Inui x male reader

Warnings: Male!reader, top/dom!reader, demon!reader, sub/bottom!Inui, sorcerer!Inui, size difference, teratophilia, overstimulation, mind-breaking, dacryphilia, blood from neck biting briefly

Prompt List by: sakuyaserenitykira 🧡

Author's Note: This ended up being very different from my original concept (and also way longer than intended) but I hope you enjoy what it turned out to be! :D Keep an eye out for this AU in a future kinktober installment 🤫

Inui was well aware of the dangers that this particular ritual held. Sure, any summoning ritual could go awry and become trouble quickly, but this spell was especially fickle. One tiny mistake or missed detail and he could summon something unwanted, possibly some eldritch creature that would destroy every known universe, but to him, the risks were worth it

He had spent so much time meticulously studying the circle that he'd need to draw, which materials you needed to place around said circle, offerings you were supposed to make, and even studying another language to learn how to pronounce the incantation correctly. Everything should be fine, it would all go perfectly and he would get what he wanted with no problems...

...He said to himself, sweating profusely as his arms carrying the backpack full of spellcasting materials trembled... Nevertheless, he marched onwards, deeper into the dark forest where you were supposed to carry out the ritual

Inui found the spot that he needed, a small clearing in the woods where the grass was noticeably softer and the breeze seemed calmer, where the only red flowers grew within the entire forest. This was where he began prepping for the ritual, casting the intricate circle with dried herbs, flowers, and crystals. Fixing several candles around the pattern and lighting them before stepping away to pull out his book of incantations, reading over the lines and practicing in his head. He waited about an hour, just as the instructions mentioned, before standing up and facing the circle. Taking a deep breath, he began the chant, repeating it three times as he walked around the summoning circle

He then put his book away and returned to the circle, stripping off his robes before laying down in the center, announcing his offering to the demon, “In return for your arrival and services, I have brought an offering of... myself. My flesh, my mind, and my soul are yours to do with as you please. Now, come forth!”

Tonight, Inui was uncharacteristically impatient. Normally he had no problems waiting for summoned creatures to appear, or waiting for spells to take effect. Tonight's spell, however, was very special. The being that he was desperately attempting to summon was a demon of lust, not an incubus or succubus, mind you. This was supposed to be leagues above those kinds of demons. And He was rumored to only appear before men that He found exceptionally attractive, which is what made this ritual difficult to find. Most of the sorcerers that committed to this summoning had no results, the demon refusing to come forth for anyone within the last 300 years, give or take...

Many people regarded this spell as nothing more than a hoax, claiming that it had probably become lost in translation somewhere and that was the reason it never worked. Some of the world's most handsome and skilled sorcerers attempted the summoning with no luck, so the magical realms deemed the spell to be fraudulent, because who wouldn't find these men attractive? That's what they all said, anyways. But Inui was tempted by the promises that this spell makes. Promises of "pleasure unlike anything this Earth could ever provide." And, "A love that no other could provide." These were loose translations of course, but Inui was tempted nonetheless. Hoping that if he was the one to finally summon the demon after all of these years, the other sorcerers would have to acknowledge his work, no longer able to poke fun at him or disregard his magic

He had other motivations for this summoning as well. The prospect of demon sex was very tempting...and since it was this demon's specialty, why not dedicate an entire year to studying the ancient books to bring this fantasy to life?

-

Inui's mind wandered as he awaited the creature's arrival. He closed his eyes, feeling the breeze glide through his hair and brush against his bare skin, his mind conjuring up scenes of what he imagined the demon would do to him. If it has claws, would it use those to scratch his delicate skin, drawing blood and licking it up with it's long tongue? If it has sharp teeth, surely it would sink them into Inui's tender flesh, marking him as it's human toy. And what about it's size, surely the demon would want to shove it's monster cock deep inside of him?

Inui began to squirm, his skin felt impossibly hot, as if he was on fire. His back arched as a single moan slipped out of him, rubbing his thighs together as his cock began hardening from the lewd thoughts. Suddenly, his hips burned, not in a painful way though, in a way that caused him to moan out once again

“My, aren't you an adorable little thing~ ” A low voice purred into Inui's ear, impossibly hot breath hitting his neck as a shiver crawled up his spine. His eyes snapped open to find a large creature hovering over his body, it's hands firmly gripping his hips and haunting yellow eyes boring into his, visibly glowing in the darkness of the forest

Inui wanted to say something, but the words died in the back of his throat, only able to gasp and pant as the demon loomed over his comparably small frame. “What's wrong, little one? Too stunned to speak?” A small noise escaped from Inui involuntarily, unable to process that this was actually happening. ��Oh, darling, I hope you're not afraid of me now?”

Inui shook his head, not wanting the demon to leave him. “Good, good. ” It chuckled, brushing it's slender fingers against his cheek, trailing it's touch down the human's neck, smiling when Inui arched his back again, squeaking out some cute response and tilting his head up to expose his neck further

-

You slowly licked your lips, leaning down and grazing your sharp fangs against Inui's sensitive flesh, causing him to flinch and gasp. Gently kissing his neck, your hands traveling to his stomach and trailing your fingers downwards, stopping at the base of his dick. Inui whined in response, raising his hips up a bit to chase the addictive touch. Desperately wishing you would wrap those hands around his cock and–

“Already excited, are we?” Purring, you tapped his fully erect cock, eliciting a tiny noise from Inui. “Such a horny little thing, I haven't even touched it yet. Are you desperate for this kind of attention, sweet thing? Is that why you summoned me? ” You teased, baring your fangs and growling, just as hungry with lust as the sorcerer was. Depraved from worthy offerings for centuries now

“Take m-me...please...” Inui whispered. Spreading his thighs for you. You cocked an eyebrow at the request, the sorcerer's tone was meek, but you could sense the sincerity behind his words. Humming, you brushed a hand through Inui's hair, and he leaned into the touch, looking up at you through pretty blond lashes

“This is what you want, human? Once we start, I will not stop until you are marked with my seal. Are you certain that you can handle this? ”

Inui swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before his answer, “Yes. I want this, I want y-you...all of you. ” This greatly pleased you, a toothy smile spreading across your face as your slender tail swished from behind

“Very good~ Then let us begin, cutie~ ” You positioned yourself so that your face was hovering over Inui's cock, using your long, forked tongue to wet the member while your hands held the human's thighs apart. Inui moaned loudly when you swallowed his entire length at once, your mouth now flush with his pelvis. He instinctually grabbed your hair, tightening his fist as you bobbed your head up and down, sucking on the tip harshly. Teeth grazing against the bottom of his cock and causing Inui to keen, throwing his head back against the ground and letting out a high-pitched moan

Precum hit the back of your throat, coating your tongue and drawing out a moan when you tasted the familiar salty flavour. You couldn't help but moan around Inui's thick cock, the vibrations causing his dick to twitch inside of your mouth. Which only egged you on more, now bobbing your head faster, wrapping your long tongue around his shaft. Inui was losing his mind, vision blurry as it felt like he was getting a handjob and a blowjob at the same time

He cried out your name, his back arching impossibly high off of the ground, “G-gonna– Aaahhh—!!! ” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the sorcerer's load poured down your throat, greedily swallowing every last drop. You slowly let his cock slide out of your mouth, releasing it with a wet pop sound, tongue lolling out and a bit of cum sticking to it

Already spent, Inui panted heavily. But you were far from finished with this new toy, licking your lips and immediately sticking your tongue into the human's hole, eliciting a scream from him. “Oh– Oooohh fffuuuck~ ”

You continued to lick and slurp Inui's ass, working your tongue deeper inside of him and shoving it against his prostate, making him shout out broken moans. Sobbing as his ass was stretched just from that thick tongue

Retracting your tongue, you quickly replaced the wet muscle with two fingers, pumping them in and out of Inui's wet hole. His head felt fuzzy again as his ass was stretched further, it already felt as if he was at his limit, his arm draped over his eyes and chest heaving. You wrapped your other hand around Inui's dick, giving it a few pumps before rubbing over his slit with your thumb. The poor human hissed, biting his lip and clawing at your arms, his dick still sensitive from the previous orgasm

This did not deter you, however. If anything it only made you move faster and push your fingers in deeper, once again hitting Inui's prostate and leaving your fingers pressed against it. Ripping yet another orgasm out of him as your hand milked more cum from his cock, the thick fluid leaking all down your fingers

Inui slumped against the ground, almost hyperventilating from the overwhelming pleasure. With his strength rapidly leaving him, his hands fell onto the ground, releasing their grip on your large arms. You rubbed your hands over the expanse of Inui's chest, cooing sweet praises into your human's ear. “You're doing so well, sweetie. Releasing all of this lovely fluid just for me~” Inui could feel the rumbling in your chest as you spoke, voice low and gravelly. “But we're just getting started~ ”

Inui's eyes opened in bewilderment. He knew that this would require way more stamina than usual, human sex. What he did not expect was how every single touch from your clawed, calloused hands seemed to drain that stamina immediately and light every last nerve on fire at the same time. It was as if your touch injected him with lust, keeping him constantly horny enough to keep going even if he could no longer hold himself up

The familiar sound of clothing hitting the ground brought his attention back to you, having just removed your trousers. Which allowed your cock to spring free of it's constraints. Inui's mind appeared to go blank at the sight, drool falling from the corners of his mouth as he stared at your fully erect length. Most humans would say something along the lines of, “No way in hell is that thing going to fit!” But Inui Seishu was not most humans. Inui was, to put it crudely, a cockslut and a size king. Always craving the things that would stretch him open enough to shut off his mind, only able to moan and take inch after inch deeper into his body

These thoughts were not unknown to you, as every last kink and preference became known as soon as they laid down in the enchanted circle. Which is exactly why you chose him. Inui would be capable of taking everything that you could give him; he craved an experience such as this one, and you were more than happy to give it to him

As if your body had its own gravitational force, Inui inches closer towards it, beckoning you to slide into his tight hole. So you grabbed his waist, impossibly tiny within your grasp, and lined your demonic dick up with his ass. He gulped, glassy eyes trained on your cock as the tip disappeared inside of him, the stretch already burning in the most delicious way

“Shh, breathe for me, lovely. There's still so much more that needs to go in.” Those soothing words echoed in Inui's mind as another inch slid past that ring of muscles. His eyes rolling into the back of his head and mouth falling open in a silent moan. You soothed the human as best as you could, sliding in further and further until your dick had disappeared entirely. “Ooohh fuuucckk yeeesss~ ” You hissed, panting as his tight walls convulsed around your cock, his hips jerking upwards as cum painted his chest white

A devilish grin spread across your face, slowly thrusting into Inui's twitching body. He came just from feeling you bottom out inside of him. Such a good little pet for you.

A familiar tightening in your core caused you to speed up, chasing your first release of the night while your human was already on his third. Yet, you could sense the passion inside of him, he craved more. And more is exactly what you would give him. Slamming your hips against his roughly, you growled praises against Inui's neck, nipping him with your fangs and flooding his insides with searing hot cum

Still partially recovering from his earlier orgasm, Inui arched his back high off of the ground, wailing as you fucked him and filled him. His body going completely limp in your hands, breathing erratically and making the cutest fucked out noises

You took a second to catch your breath and revel in the sight before you. There was a large bulge in Inui's stomach where he was stretched around your cock, his insides pushed aside to make room for the impossibly large intrusion. His blond hair clung to his forehead, beads of sweat sliding down his skin from the intensity of it all. Your hand brushed some of the wet hair away, nails scratching against his scalp and pulling a soft whine from him

You couldn't stop the smile growing on your features, it'd been far too long since you had felt this way towards a human. Especially one that intentionally offered himself unto you like this one did. Hungry lips met Inui's soft ones, moving together harmoniously as your eyes fluttered closed, enjoying this moment before you gave him another orgasm

Inui moaned into the kiss when he felt your fingers brush against his nipples, playing with them so you could hear more pretty noises from your sweet human, humping into his wet hole as you did so. Inui gasped as your hips snapped into him harshly, pinching his nipples simultaneously. Your thrusts began to speed up again, causing him to throw his head back in total bliss, fucking him at just the right pace

The temptation to mark your cute pet up was far too strong, leaning down to press an open-mouthed kiss to his sensitive neck. Nibbling on the soft flesh as you fucked your previous load deep into his gut, thrusting faster and faster so that you could add more cum to the mess already within his walls, making the bulge in his stomach even larger. Inui whined loudly, tangling his hand in your hair and tugging at the roots, begging for you to cum in him again, “Please– Ah!! More...cum in me more... Fill me with your cock until I can't think of anything else– F-fuuck—!! ”

Cum flooded his insides once again, dick twitching as his gummy walls squeezed it all out of you, your hips surely hitting him hard enough to leave a bruise later on. Blood trickled down Inui's neck as your fangs pierced his delicate skin. Tears ran down his cheeks from the combined intensity of everything

Inui's dick became hard yet again, still glistening from his previous orgasms. “Sweet thing, will you cum with me this time? ” You cooed, wrapping a hand around his length. Slowly pumping it as you peered into his gorgeous green eyes. “Just give me one more, then you can rest. Can you do that, darling? ” Inui nodded languidly, his hips rolling into your fist on their own

You smiled at him in response, taking a deep breath before thrusting into him again. The reaction from him was immediate; his hips jerked forward, head turning to the side as a loud moan erupted from him, hands grasping at your wrist that was gliding up and down his member. But you continued on, cock reaching the deepest places inside of him, rearranging his guts completely as his body molded to your length

Inui clenched around your dick, his fourth climax just within reach, crying out your name while your thrusting became sloppy. One hand continued to jerk him off, twisting your wrist as you stroked upwards and eliciting high-pitched screams from him, while your other hand rubbed at the bulge in his stomach. Effectively jerking yourself off through his body, almost using him as a fleshlight

The way his mind just shut off was instantly noticeable. Inui's eyes became vacant, unable to look away from your lustful gaze. Little “Ah! Ah! Ah! ” noises escaping him with each rhythmic thrust, no longer capable of forming words as he becomes your dumb little doll. Arms and legs completely limp, the only thing really moving is his hips as they thrust into your hand, chasing yet another orgasm even though his mind is unresponsive to the overstimulation

“I really did fuck you stupid, didn't I, little one?” No response, unless you count the slightest change in the pitch of the human's moans as anything. “So good for me. Mm, cum with me now, let us complete this pact~ ”

With that, you fucked into Inui roughly, snapping your hips into his and vigorously pumping his cock. Biting your bottom lip as you grow closer to your release and finally cumming within Inui's tight ass as he squeezes you once more, his own release following only a second behind yours. His body twitched and writhed under your grasp as a glowing red seal was burned onto his stomach, the large mark spanning from just above his bellybutton to right above the base of his dick. The same mark as your summoning circle, a mark of ownership. Telling all manner of demons and other creatures that this one belongs to you

Caressing the newly etched seal, a wave of possessiveness washed over your features for a moment. Your darling human was fast asleep, exhaustion finally taking over after so much excitement. His soft features became illuminated by the moonlight and you couldn't help but smile fondly

You slowly and carefully pulled out of him, so as not to hurt him or rouse him from slumber. Soothing your hands over his body and kissing his pale cheek before lying down next to his side. You pulled him against your chest and spooned his small body, wrapping your tail around his leg. Placing a kiss on the top of his head, you whispered a few more praises and loving words into Inui's ear before drifting off with him

Tagging: @steadybreadbluebird @6kabuki

[riddler-green]

Amor, amor, amor.

Summary: Edward has been considered the office outcast, the weakest link in the chain, but, if he's as invisible as he thinks he is, why are you looking at him?

a/n: Hi! this is my first fic in English, sooo apologies for any spelling mistakes, enjoy!

Warning: this fic is heavily inspired by The Riddler: Year One #1, obsessive behavior on the part of the reader and Edward, foul language, love at first sight, maybe a little cheesy.

Words: 8,200.

What is it that makes us valuable in the eyes of others?

It may be money, values, beauty, or anything.

But in this world loneliness has affected you, since you were born your desires are handed to you on a silver platter, anything can be yours. And with the social circle, you live with it's easy to fall, to be a spoiled and arrogant person.

Jewelry, fancy clothes, and brand name shoes, all your life you got used to that, that your only concern was what color you would wear for your nails this week. Everything seemed to be simpler, your mind enclosed in a bubble of glitter and pink, after all, you considered that you had a perfect life.

Well, until you met Bruce Wayne.

It was a one-in-a-million coincidence that you two met, it's even stranger that the two of you hit it off somehow, a very unique duo, he gave you a new perspective on the world, of Gotham, as you walked him through all the years where he figured out who he is and what he wants to do for the future of the city.

He practically burst your ideals, it's like he punctured your bubble and you came out, you realized what he meant. Then he started making it more formal, making his outfit, his weapons, and tools, he even made a whole lair where he would do his operations.

How you are trustworthy and practically his only friend told you after several months of thinking about it, you accepted it regardless of the consequences that would come in Bruce's life. You remember that night, you hugged your friend until your arms ached for all the trust he gave you, his secret will be safe with you, even though inside you worried too much. But how could you refuse? if it's to keep his legacy as he said, you weren't going to stop him.

Since then you have stopped seeing Bruce as often as you used to.

And it all seems so bland, even if you turned to Gotham's rich little group of young adults, it wasn't enough, it was all drab and dreary. You could easily die of boredom.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"Why don't you give work a chance, honey?" your father's voice is heard in the doorway of your room, bringing you back to reality, you stare at the fire in the fireplace. After so many introspections have made working not a condemnation for you, maybe in your spoiled past you would have thrown a tantrum for the simple fact of getting out of your comfort zone and working like any normal person, but now you lift your shoulders and just say "Okay".

"Great! They're hiring at KTMJ, just one call and you're done" You turn to see him pull out his phone "What if I want to get a job on my own?" The man shakes his head "You have to get experience first, my child! Besides I'll rest easy knowing you'll be in a safe environment" he exclaimed exasperated, maybe your parents were happy to have you working too.

You keep looking at him, he waits for an answer from you and you just stare at a fixed point on his face, do you need to work? The position you could fill is deserved by someone who is trying hard to get ahead, but you don't have many options anymore to get bored. "I understand father, I'll work as best I can" you reply looking back at the fire in the fireplace.

You hear him talking to someone you have no idea who it could be, but at the moment you just think that this new experience could be a good thing for you, you could stop depending on your family, you just hope to give a job worthy of the position they can give you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You adjust your clothes as you walk up the stairs of the KTMJ building, today is your first day and you want to make a good impression. As you enter you notice the variety of people arriving and leaving the building. It's a small office complex compared to other skyscrapers, but you still like the detail of the logo on the elevator, you appreciate it as you walk up from floor to floor.

To your surprise, when the elevator opened, a lively and cheerful atmosphere greeted you, you see helium balloons and streamers on the ceiling along with company anniversary decorations, you perceive a group of well-dressed people talking happily, one of them notices you and jumps out of his seat to approach you.

"Wow! But look who's here!" a man in a sharp suit greets you, he has a sharp face and dark brown eyes with spiky hair like porcupine quills, you greet him back "Hello! Good afternoon I'm-" before you speak he interrupts you "Oh! no need for formal introductions! Call me Zach and I've already been informed of your arrival" he laughs offering his hand for a handshake, you take it warily but do so anyway.

"Zach, nice to meet you, um-" you take a moment to speak "If you already know who I am, then could you tell me where I can talk to Mr.Stone?".

"I'd be honored! Come, I'll walk with you" he walks deftly between the cubicles of the office, Zach guides you to a staircase, and going up to the second floor you observe the view that gives the height, from here you can see almost the entire office, half of the people are talking and dancing with drinks in hand and the other working in their cubicles as if it were another work day.

"Here it is Miss, and welcome" he opens an office door and then smiles with perfect teeth. "Thank you" you reply and enter the office.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Apparently, it's not enough for this office to celebrate the anniversary once, so when you come back the next day you find the same scenario, this time there's a lot more decoration and everyone is out of their cubicles.

Well, except for one.

You look at the back of the man sitting in his cubicle, absorbed in all the commotion and writing frantically on bead sheets.

Interesting, you think.

You'd like to approach him to ask what's got him sitting and working instead of partying with the others, but you'd rather give him his space, he may be working on something important.

You walk towards the stairs to get to your own office, Mr. stone offered it to you as a cordial gesture, after all, you are the daughter of the biggest partner of the company, and the favoritism is obvious, in a certain part, you dislike that you are given better treatment than the others.

"Well if it isn't my favorite girl!" you hear Zach shout moving closer to you, here we go again. "We just met Zach" you wave if you can call it that, unlocking the office door with a set of keys, the man in the blue suit stands to the side of you "Well that doesn't take away from the fact that you are" you open the door and Zach walks in behind you "You should come downstairs, there's a party going on right now!".

You turn on the light in the room "I'd rather stay here" you refuse and then sit down at your desk "I want to start working at once".

 "Oh! Please! You'll have fun! Besides, Edward is already covering those bills" You stopped the express cleaning you do to your desk "Who is Edward?".

Zach Snorted "The bespectacled weirdo" speaks, adjusting his black tie. A red flag goes up on the flagpole in your mind "Oh, I think I saw him when I got here."

Once Zach arranges his tie the way he likes it and turns to look at you "Believe me tell you he's a very weird guy, but he's extremely good at the job, that's why he hasn't been fired yet" he revealed as if it wasn't a big deal.

Formulas some questions, why is he considered a weirdo? why is he still here?

"I find it interesting, I'd like to meet him" you reply curiously. "Well, there will be a time for that, now you have to meet the others" he comments and you sigh as he is right, the best thing would be to meet most people.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You chatted with the group of friends of the man in the blue suit, who were drinking glasses of wine, and taking pictures to remember the party, they were nice to you. Zach, apparently the leader of the group is the one who talks most of the time, makes jokes, and tells anecdotes and in the end, everyone laughs at what he says. But you know perfectly well that kind of man like Zach, his leadership potential is good, but he lacks nobility, he even becomes quite egomaniacal with the comments of his recent promotion.

It's a good atmosphere, but for you, this is a waste of time.

"Hold on, I have some papers to serve" Zach informs walking away from the group, you notice the direction he's walking in and he stops at a cubicle. Curiosity prickles your skin, he must be talking to Edward, you unconsciously get up from your chair, one hand occupied by a plate of food, and head towards the same cubicle.

"You finish the Smelkison accounts?" you hear Zach's stoic voice directed at the person sitting at the desk. "Yes" speaks the man you can't see as Zach's stiff back prevents you from seeing him.

You walk faster until you reach the man in the blue suit "Hey! Hello!" you hold up a plate with the sandwich "I guess we haven't introduced ourselves..." you say finally looking at the face of the man in front of you, you stop talking slowly looking at every detail of him. Slightly tousled brown hair, a round face, smooth cheeks, and a normal build but you just can't look away, he catches your eye so much that you continue to stare in fascination as if you were appreciating a newly discovered work of art.

You look at Zach's face for a second. Is he blind? Can't he see the beauty of the man in front of his eyes?

On the other hand, the center of your attention doesn't respond to you, and thinks you're talking to someone else, causing you to get confused and decide to speak again "You're Edward, right?".

"He-hello" he stutters a little, forming a nervous smile, in response, you smile at his shyness. Zach looks at the interaction skeptically "Oh, my favorite snack" he takes the untouched plate in your hands and thanks you for instantly taking a bite, you frown slightly "Actually it was for Edward, a gift for helping with the...Smelkinson account?" you improvise an excuse.

Edward adjusts his glasses hiding his eyes from the reflection of the light "Thanks, but I'm not hungry". Your smile doesn't stop, on the contrary, it grows because of how adorable you find him "Wow, that's a pity, the food is delicious".

Edward doesn't respond to your comment, it's as if his voice stopped working in your presence, he looks down trying to concentrate on his work "I also finished other things like the Goodman divorce".

Zach stops eating his sandwich and puts it in one of the file cabinets "jeez, we don't need this until the end of the month" he speaks busily as you stand silently watching their interaction. "Sorry" apologized Edward in a low voice. "It's fine but let's keep this between us," says the man in the blue suit then turning to you "we need to get back".

"I'll catch up with you later" you reply, causing Zach to raise his eyebrow but he doesn't think twice before turning back to his entourage. You turn to look at Edward who is surprised that you caught him looking at you "Are you sure you don't want a snack?" you offer hoping he'll say yes.

He shakes his head, muttering a "No, thank you".

"Mmm, well, best of luck in your job, Edward" you wave goodbye and walk away from his cubicle, causing Edward to lower the papers he put halfway down his face to hide his nervousness.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Luck is something he doesn't have, not even a hint of it, but he feels that something changed in his destiny when you looked at him for the first time, as you noticed him among so many people and that's almost a historical fact, someone who notices him and doesn't ignore him like everyone else.

He knows you, how can he not? If everyone talks about you, about your upper-class position that gets you to put in a better cubicle than him, you just starting to work, he's been here for five years and he's still at his simple desk while you rise to the top. It's unfair, totally unfair, and the strange thing about it all is that you don't repulse him.

You dress just like Zach's friends, in fancy and expensive clothes, and he watches as you approach the group with a serene face, after a few minutes you look in their direction, and instead of grimacing or telling someone that Edweird is looking at you funny, you simply smile at them and make a peace sign.

He is too surprised, he looks away to return to the accounts on the table, numbers are his safe place where he knows the result of operations. But social relations? He doesn't know about that area, that's why he's completely confused, why do you smile at him? why do you treat him well? It must be because you are kind or you are faking it to hide your cruel personality.

Kindness, he never thought that existed in Gotham, it's not every day you see a pretty, rich girl offering him snacks and being empathetic, so he's suspicious of any decent gesture that comes his way.

Edward sighs, the day will soon be over.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You walk out of the KTMJ building as the dusk turns into a starless night, you slowly walk down the steps blowing on your hands, you shouldn't have forgotten your gloves. You see out of the corner of your eye Edward's brown hair on the bottom steps, and you can't help but want to talk to him.

"Goodbye Edward!" you yell at him and he turns around with a surprised face, you wave a hand as a goodbye with growing excitement, and he waves goodbye without saying anything to you, just slowly waving his hand as you do.

You consider it cute and even refreshing, a novel feeling arises in your whole being, you watch as he mingles through the dangerous streets of Gotham, perhaps on his way to the subway, and you worry about how dangerous the streets can be at this hour, next time you might take him home.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are your cheeks hot? Does your heart race in his presence?

Oh, you should call Bruce.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 Zach arrives at your office with a couple of coffees from the nearest branch of the building, he greets you with a big smile and sits down in front of your desk handing you the coffee, you take a sip and quickly push away the paper cup with the hot coffee, you burn your tongue a little causing a disgusted look on your face. "Slow down" Zach chuckles and drank his hot coffee.

Jesus, how disgusting this guy is, someday he must realize that you have no interest in him, he keeps coming back to you to brag about his luxuries and cases he has solved alone. Maybe in other times, you would have been captivated by his neat appearance of a successful businessman, but being surrounded by people like that you ended up losing interest.

It's your second week here and you've only done basic things, but it's not all bad, the good thing is that from your office you can see Edward from your window. You don't care how creepy it sounds that you watch in your spare time a man who probably doesn't want anything to do with you.

"Look what I did" he hands you a folder, it was the Goodman case you heard about the second time you arrived, but you remember perfectly well that Edward worked on this case as well. "That's fantastic, all this research" you congratulate flipping through the accounts and papers with all the information "But, didn't Edward help you with this?".

At the mention of the other man his smile falters "Yeah, well, he did the numbers part, but I did everything else!". You close the folder, this job is Edward's, not his, no matter how assertively he lies, you won't fall into his trap.

"Tell them Edward helped you" you hand the folder back to him. "But-" he objects, however, he watches your serious face and it cowed him, he doesn't forget who you are "Okay."

He leaves your office and you wait a moment, when a few minutes pass you quickly walk over to the only window in the room to watch Edward for a while, but what you find is Zach talking to him, your blood boils every time he talks to the man with the clear glasses, are you the only one who realizes that the idiot Zach is taking advantage of Edward? maybe some people realize it because of how obvious it is, but no one does anything.

You will change that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"What?" Mindy, who you think is a female version of Zach, stopped looking at herself in her hand mirror to look directly at you. "I said," you clear your voice, "Do you know Edward Nashton?"

The woman rolls her eyes and turns back to her mirror "He's one of Zach's minions" she says applying red lipgloss. "Come on Mindy" you sit down next to her "you must know something more about him".

"Why so much interest, mmh?" she asks with a suspicious tone. You knew I'd ask you, are you willing to give up this intimate secret to the most gossipy woman in the office?

"I think he's handsome" you confess swallowing your distrust, with the crush you're suffering you need want to know everything about Edward.

Mindy starts laughing, however, when you don't follow her laughter, she instantly stops "Are you serious?". You shake your head in affirmation, Mindy's mouth drops open, totally taken off guard by the fact, "Wow, I mean, I didn't think that was your type”.

You set your sights on something other than Mindy, you get a little shy talking about these topics out loud "He's cute and very dedicated to his work."

"Well, if you say so" he keeps his mirror in his bag "Actually, Nashton is a very mysterious person, I mean, he hardly hangs out with anyone in the office, apparently he's really into crossword puzzles and that shit, all the time I see stuff like that wasted all over his desk."

Satisfied with the little she gave you, you point to her "Don't tell anyone what I told you" you just hope your secret isn't revealed before you try to move forward with Edward.

Your co-worker smiles "Relax!" she gets up from her chair "Your secret is safe with me!" she assures you before leaving the room.

You doubt it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 Edward arrives at work at exactly 7 am when there is almost no one in the office, he likes to be early so he can be alone with his work, without the need to listen to Zach's irritating voice giving him folder after folder of new cases, however when he gets to his desk he finds something.

"1001 Sudokus to solve!" 

He picks up the little book and looks at it with fascination, looking around for someone who might have left it there. 

But he's alone... isn't he?.

He looks towards the stairs, on the second floor, and watches the shutters of one of the offices close quickly, if he remembers correctly, yours. Was it you? Did you give him this? He sits down at his desk and picks up his red pen to start the sudoku on the first page, while he solves it without difficulty he thinks of you.

He's skeptical, he can't help it, it must be a joke on you and Zach, it can't be a gift, it's a joke, just that, but as he finishes his first sudoku he imagines you leaving him this book with joy in your eyes, that he's not a joke on you.

He hears some footsteps from the iron steps, he turns up and finds you in front of him "Good morning Edward" you smile at him already close by in his cubicle. "Good morning" he reciprocates the greeting ducking his head, he had already seen too many pictures of you last night, but when he is next to you he just freezes.

"I heard you like crossword puzzles" you laugh "but I couldn't find one of those, so" you sit in a chair with desk casters near him "I chose Sudoku."

"You gave it to me?" he speak hesitantly filling in the boxes with numbers. "Yes!" you confess with unconscious enthusiasm.

"Why?" he didn't mean to sound so confused but he can't help it, that thorn in his head telling him that he doesn't deserve any of this too he wonders the same thing Why, why are you giving him a gift?

"Because I want to, someone should thank you for the cases Zach took, right?" you replied cheerfully even though you worry inside, doesn't he like the gift? Does he find it strange?

"What?" he abruptly stops solving his sudoku, he looks at you with utmost surprise, what did you just say? "Nothing" you quickly get up and walk away saying "have a nice day".

Edward stares at your figure as you climb the stairs again, that you're back to the top again, he should hate you, but he can't, nor does he want to. The gears in his head turn to come up with a workable answer, you're not like them, his smug superiors, he smiles slowly, he didn't get a chance to thank you for the gift. Edward thinks about what he should do, he could go upstairs and thank you directly but he also thinks that this situation needs to be cleared up once and for all.

He needs to know if you're playing him, if he trusts you even for a second, you'll probably show up laughing with Zach and his group over poor naive Edward who believed in you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 Mr. Stone looks at you as if you grew another eye on your forehead, yes, your request was more than unexpected, he adjusted his glasses and keeps his usual gesture of seriousness "Are you sure?

You are sitting in front of his desk with a chair, and you notice the various newspaper pictures on the walls, you don't have time to read them and you focus on Mr. stone "More than sure, I don't deserve an office if I'm only given simple tasks" It wasn't enough to just watch Edward anymore, you want more, and being up there with the others, it just takes you away from him.

The man sighs "But you can't go down to the cubicles where the others are, Miss" Your smile disappears at his reply "Why not?".

Mr.stone leans back in his chair "Well, your father insisted on a better environment for you, and believe me the second floor is the best section for that".

"I'll tell my father that I chose to be downstairs, he doesn't have to worry about that" you see Mr.stone's tired face with clear signs of wear and tear, but he still tries to give you a good deal. "okay, we'll give you a new cubicle". 

You give a little jump of joy inside you, and outwardly you smile determinedly "In fact, I know where I want to settle down."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 "Hi Edward!" you drop your files into your new cubicle, a freshly cleaned desk just for you, your expression of joy is hard to hide, how did you not think of switching cubicles before?

Edward jumps at the noise, looks at you a little startled then asks "What are you doing?".

"I'll be your neighbor, isn't that wonderful?" you sit down in a desk chair, and put your post-it notes in one of the drawers naturally, while Edward continues to process what you said. "What happened to your office?" he asks again.

"Well, I decided it's better to work directly with others than to lock myself in four walls" that's not entirely a lie, but you know the reason you came down is beside you, anxiously waving his red pen.

"Makes sense" Edward opines further accepting the idea that you'll be by his side for quite some time, he's not ready yet. in the meantime you smile at him relieved, he thinks it's no wonder you sit specifically near him, another bullet dodged.

The two of them remain silent, which you don't mind, you suppose Edward must be quite introverted and that's why you don't force him to chat if he doesn't want to.

"The sudoku you gave me..." he started to speak but looked down at the papers on his desk "I liked it, thank you very much."

"Ah!" His thank you catches you off guard, your cheeks start to hurt as much as you smile "It's nothing! I hope it wasn't too hard for you."

Edward smiles back "I figured it all out in less than an hour, it was entertaining." You are surprised by what he said "Really?" Edward nods his head with an approving hum "That's brilliant" you reply delightedly.

"You think?" his cheeks heat up forming a slight flush, when was the last time someone complimented him? this feeling is so unfamiliar to him, it's simply scorching, but also addictive.

"Yeah!" you laugh as you slowly come up next to him to talk closer "I take to do one, like, a half hour and you finish the whole book!".

Edward chuckles, flashing his smile strange to others, but to you captivating "It's not that hard."

"How cool" you flatter him again, and you look at his face closely, how sometimes most of the time his glasses hide his eyes from the sun or the glare, you'd like to see those green eyes more, get lost in them and never go back, wouldn't that be wonderful?

Edward opens his mouth to speak again but a call stops him "Nashton!".

Your smile fades. Why does Zach have to butt in where he's not wanted?

Zach stopped in front of Edward's desk with some files in hand.

"Look at this" gives you a new folder, from the perspective of your view you see the title of the file -New Beginnings, animal rescue-.

"What happened to Goodman account that was here?" Edward questions receiving the folder giving Zach an indecipherable look.

"Oh, I decided to hand it over, after all, they're impressed with how fast we work" he informs holding up his hand with his thumb, you roll your eyes inquiringly.

Edward's face softens to a completely reflective one, still staring at Zach... <we>?

"So you told them that Edward did most of the work, right?" Zach is surprised to hear your voice, he didn't notice you when he came to give Edward the files, he turns in your direction and smiles with that fake face "Yes, I did."

You narrow your eyes in extreme distrust, he's most likely lying, but you'll give him the benefit of the doubt. "What are you doing here, by the way?" the suited man ignores Edward's glare at him.

"I moved my desk, I'll leave the office to give it to you" to Zach's eyes it seems like a nice act but the truth is it's a sign that you want him as far away from Edward and you as possible.

"Aw! You shouldn't have done that!" she replies in a cloying voice that makes you want to bust your eardrums if you hear it again.

"I insist, keep it."

Edward stays in the background of their conversation, ducking low enough not to turn around and watch you talk to Zach like he's your friend. "I need you to look at this file, it's something from upstairs, they need it urgently so they gave it to me" Zach informs him again, god, this job will kill Edward someday.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 You look at Edward again, and you think you might consider him your new hobby, however, you are worried that something is wrong with him. Another nice thing you find about him is that when it's time to work, he nimbly moves his hand and answers the boxes on the charts, he takes the time to look at each receipt for evidence and compares each bill to find a discrepancy. It's as if he's so focused on just that that everything else gets put on the back burner.

You can't get enough of seeing him like this, but it's getting late and you're practically alone in the office. You tap him on the shoulder and shake him gently and call out, "Edward?

Edward comes out of his trance, he looks around and finds the office about to close, but he also finds you there, right next to him "Yes?" he looks at you a bit dazed.

"It's late, let's go" you put on your coat for the cold and settle in your chair already standing up. Heeding you he gets up from his seat and puts on his coat and backpack "I didn't notice the time, did you also work late? 

"I finished my work early" you declare walking towards the elevator, and Edward follows you "I was just waiting for you."

The elevator closes, you inhale the cold air, and you see Edward who similarly watches you and just smiles. "How long have you been here?" you start a conversation, averting your gaze at the speed of light, seeing the logo plastered on one of the walls of the elevator instead of Edward's smile that could blind you if you stare at it too long.

Edward adjusts his glasses "Five years" he replies somewhat embarrassed, at this point he knows you won't make fun of him, but he still has that thorn in his side.

"That's a lot" you reply "You deserve better".

"I don't think so," he says hiding his hands in his coat, "I'm not capable enough to be promoted."

"Edward please" you speak almost angrily, not at him, but at the people who made him feel this way "I've seen your notes and let me tell you they're great, you're talented."

Edward looks into your eyes, looking for some lie you can give him, if this were a dream, he doesn't want to wake up, he shyly pulls his hands out of his coat and gives himself a little pinch, he feels the pain, he's awake.

That's all I wanted to hear from someone, but now that he has you in front of him he doesn't know how to take it, no, don't fall for it Edward, it's a game of yours, everything you're saying must be a joke, after all, it's not the first time someone plays with his happiness.

Meanwhile, your head is burning for not knowing what to say, you have so many things to confess to Edward, the urgent need to tell him that he looks great in that plaid shirt, or that his hairstyle makes him look incredibly handsome, so many options but you decide to keep them to yourself.

The elevator goes down to the first floor when the doors open Edward gets out first almost running but you stop him "Edward, you're going to the subway right?".

"Yeah, are you going too?" he asks innocently and you almost say yes just to tag along, but you have a better idea.

"Oh no, I have a car" you look at the watch on your wrist "It's late enough and it might be dangerous, I can give you a ride home, if you want" you pose crossing your fingers internally, you hoped it wouldn't sound so weird your proposal.

Edward could pass out right there, this all sounds like a romantic movie I used to watch when the orphanage had a worn-out TV but it worked "I don't want to be a bother".

You gasp "Impossible!" you reach over and grab his arm "I would never think something like that."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 All Edward thought as he looked at the streets of Gotham was that all is lost, desolate, and full of evil, he examined the people silently on their paths to the subway, as he blended into the crowd of god-forsaken people.

But now he's sitting in a beautiful carriage next to you.

The streets are still the same, and the people are still there, yet he rejoices in the privilege of not being on his way to the disastrous subway, that he doesn't have to put up with gangsters bothering office workers like him.

One thing is obvious, he hates your kind, he loathes them with all his being, all the while wondering if there is hope in this life, and it seems that fate has answered him.

Yes, there is hope, and it's you.

And he admits it in the depths of his being, the attention you give him scares him a little, it must be something normal for people to treat each other like that, with kindness and respect, but you make him feel special and that makes him not want to get away from you, he craves that attention little by little.

You look out of the corner of your eye at Edward who is contemplating the view from the passenger window, once again absorbed in his thoughts, what a cute thing to do, you did not regret it taking him home.

Once your father told you when you were little that someday a rich man would give you a great life and you wouldn't have to worry about anything else, that you wouldn't have to lift a finger for your husband to give you everything you want.

But now? You wanted nothing more than to give Edward that comfortable life. Oh, Edward had you wrapped around his finger and didn't know it.

"What are you thinking about?" Zach spoke to you sitting comfortably in his new office, next to another colleague whose name you don't know but they were chatting about trivial things, Edward was keeping busy doing his work and you didn't want to interrupt him, so now you are here.

"Edward should be promoted" you replied looking straight at him "I should mention it to Mr.stone".

The man in the blue suit laughs "Come on honey, Nashton doesn't have what it takes for this position".

"And you have what it takes?" you ask him with some distaste, you're not his honey.

"Uh, yes" he still laughs and the girl next to you laughs along with him "But well, I don't want to talk about him anymore, have you been to Paris?" he expertly changes the subject to which your companion replies.

Without answering his question you leave the office, but unexpectedly the office door opens unexpectedly.

A somewhat dejected and uneasy Edward enters the room so quickly that Zach is startled, shouting "Jesus!".

"Edward?" you speak to him and he turns to look at you and smiles softly, raises his hand in greeting, and turns to Zach.

"Uh, can I have a word?" Edward murmur to the man in the blue suit who reluctantly gets up and follows him toward the exit.

You sigh, Edward looks good in anything he wears "what are they talking about?" you say quietly.

"Who cares?" replies the other woman in the room.

"I care."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 Walking down the stairs towards your desk, Zach runs in the opposite direction down the stairs past you and ignores you "I'm taking you upstairs with me, Rain Man!" he yells excitedly.

Oh, so he must mean Edward since he gave him that nickname recently. Back in your cubicle, you pick up a piece of paper from the floor and hand it to Edward, who has disorganized his desk.

"Did you find anything?" you put the paper on his desk, Edward nods his head with clear happiness, starting to tell you in detail about the discrepancy between accounts, and various financial terms confused you, but seeing him so cheerful talking numbers makes you so happy you just listen to him.

"You're so smart Edd," you said without filters in your mouth, you open your eyes in surprise realizing how you said it, in a gawking tone.

"Tha-thank you" he takes his red pen that has black ink in it and starts playing with it.

You sit stiffly clearing your throat to look more decent "I hope they notice your effort."

You and Edward stare at each other as if it were a staring contest, you both smile comfortably together, he squirms with happiness at the compliments you usually give him, and on the other hand, just the fact of making him smile delights you.

You hear a noise coming from the second floor, Zach energetically descends the stairs and Edward approaches him still maintaining his excitement.

"What did they say?" asks Edward without batting an eye, Zach grabs his shoulder with an unconvincing smile.

"He said it was probably nothing" the man in the suit informs and Edward's eyes widen in surprise "What? But-" he tries to speak but Zach stops him, "He said it was a mistake, but it was a good job! He even bought me lunch!" he starts to walk away to start walking up the stairs "Don't worry! I've got it from here, bud"

"But!-" Edward shouts but Zach no longer hears him, his serious countenance turned to disappointment, again he was ignored, standing there, static and beginning to darken his mind, a formulated hatred, screaming internally in his conscience for the time he invested in analyzing the account.

"Idiot" you whisper looking towards Zach's office, you have to do something to make them notice Edward's effort, you pick up your bag and walk over to the man still standing there "Let's get something to eat, Eddie"

He comes out of his trance and feels your arm touching his "Yes, let's go".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 "So, what do you think?" Edward asks your opinion on his plan to talk to Mr.stone. "It won't work, trust me" you comment eating a French fry as you see Edward in front of you, the two of them standing in a booth at the nearest diner in the office, a place set in the eighties with a menu with plenty of burgers and sodas "He'll just tell you it's a mistake, but I know it's not".

Edward looks at you in confusion, eating his food and thinking that you are right about his could-be plan being in vain.  But he doesn't know what to do to make his work stand out or at least get an explanation as to why his discovery was a mistake.

Clicking his tongue quickly, you noticed, this whole thing is fixed, if that investigation is done in depth there will be a danger for everyone involved, it was expected that Mr. stone dismissed the case without much thought.

This company could be up to dirty tricks and that's what you fear the most, is your father involved too? It's time for you to do your investigation.

"What goes up and doesn't come back down?" Edward asks shyly, it's like he's testing the waters with you.

 "Is it a riddle?" you smile stopping eating to turn your attention to Edward who shrinks back in his seat "Don't you like them?" he says unsure, nodding you told him "Yes, but I'm not that good" you shift restlessly around in your seat, trying to hide how elated you are, it seems like the two of you are a couple on a date.

"Your age".

Your naive fantasies are distorted back to reality "what?".

"That's the answer to the riddle" he comments taking a bite of his food "They're not that hard, it's just a matter of thinking about it."

"You make it sound so simple" you laugh wiping your mouth with a napkin "I'd rather you tell me the answer."

When you are next to Edward, that self-critical part of him that puts him off disappears, you make him feel like he is normal, in that he doesn't have to hide his personality and you pay close attention to him when he talks about his crosswords, he is starting to enjoy your company, he has fallen, he is so weak to your charms, he takes a sip of his drink and nods his head, he will tell you the answer to every riddle he knows.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It's two in the morning when the ringtone of your cell phone rings, you raise your arm lazily to reach it from your bedside table "Who is calling?" you ask with a sleepy voice, whoever it is you were going to hang up the call in less than a second if it wasn't because you heard Edward's voice calling your name frantically.

"Eddie? Eddie! what's wrong?" your eyes widen in alarm, leaving your tired mode to a worried one "Are you okay?".

"I saw them!" he shouts through the call, you pick up the sound of the rain and the city in the background "I saw them all!".

You get out of bed and put on a sleeping robe, still holding the phone to your ear, "Where are you?" you grab your car keys and head for the front door of your apartment.

"I...I" stop talking making you worry more "I'm outside the iceberg Longue!".

"I'm on my way, don't hang up please".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 "Sorry " Edward muttered sitting on the floor, warming himself near the fireplace in your new apartment, like emancipation from your parent's house. 

You take your time drying her hair with a towel and hum softly, you dreamt of this before, the two of you sitting there appreciating the warm fire and holding each other to feel the warmth of each other, but you didn't want things to happen this way, you have so many questions to ask, what happened, what did Edward see to put her in that state? You decide not to ask that for the moment.

"What are you apologizing for?" you whisper to him gently, not wanting to overwhelm him any more than he already is.

"I disturbed you in the middle of the night" she speaks softly cringing trying to dry herself more with the towel she has covering her entire body.

"Listen Eddie" you finish drying his hair and sit down next to him, the two of you on the floor near the fireplace for warmth, seeing his distressed face you reply "I would never think you were a bother, on the contrary, I'm so glad you called me."

Edward is still silent, the iceberg lounge event still haunts him, making his thoughts turn to mush and behave so shyly "Why are you doing this?" he asked sharply, he doesn't know whether to trust you anymore, he saw his boss talking to a criminal, you may even be in on it, he just wants some peace or else his mind would explode. 

Their gazes meet, your cheeks get so hot you could be mistaken for having a fever, and you have an inexplicable fear of confessing your love for Edward, of telling him that you want to give him the whole world without it sounding like an exaggeration.

"I like you" you confess, expecting a negative reaction, but you only hear Edward's voice crack "really?".

"Yes," you let out a nervous laugh at how impressed he is "do I need to say that again?".

Of course, Edward is still not speaking and you take his hands "Edward Nashton" you move closer until your face is inches away from his "I like you".

"You..." he muttered closing his eyes and squeezing your hands, he's hurting, he's terrified of all of this, that it's not real, he's just telling the truth.

You repeated "I like you" to him, enduring the small pain he makes by squeezing your hands tightly.

He starts to cry, an impulse of such strong emotions he feels at the same time, a catharsis that makes his eyes blur and he just sobbed in front of you, no one had ever said such words to him that he feels it's all too good to be true, Edward doesn't feel worthy enough of your love.

But you just look at him anyway, letting him cry whatever he wants, knowing that he's not ready to say the same words to you yet, you don't mind wiping the small residue of tears on his cheeks "Do you want some water?" you offer in a calm voice, Edward shakes his head and says "Stay".

You pull him close to your body and they embrace, you can feel the warmth of his sturdy body and you notice that you prefer that warmth to the warmth of the fireplace.

You smelled Edward's chest as he kept hugging you, they were like that for so long that you forgot the minutes that passed.

You smile still crushing your face by his collarbone, there are so many things going through your mind, a total devotion that you want to give to Edward so he is safe and doesn't have to live in more danger, when you sniff his shirt you perceive the smell of the humidity caused by the rain, remembering the reason why he is here "What happened Eddie?" you talk to him with clear concern when he called you, he was very scared and you were afraid of what could have happened to him in those parts of the city.

Edward is silent and just keeps staring at the fire in the fireplace with a sign of fear, why even he can't process what he saw, Zach and Mr. stone at the entrance of the club along with a criminal who several days ago was on trial. He almost threw up in disgust, why are they there, what were they doing? You don't want to imagine all the things they did in that club, the image you had of the boss was shattered into a thousand pieces, the faces of those people merged with the mud puddles on the dirty floor, and on autopilot, you grabbed your cell phone and called you.

"Nothing," he says hoping it sounded convincing but it wasn't, you pull away from the embrace and look into his eyes, seeing through his glasses and you notice him bewildered, stunned.

"Tell me the truth."

Even so with the confession of love you gave him doubt, inside his being he has an immense terror of you making fun of him for how he took a simple shameless situation.

"Did they do something to you? " this time your meek voice was changed to an angry "Did they hurt you?" just the thought of someone touching a hair on his head makes you angry.

"No, no, no" he replied "Remember that case I told you about a few days ago?".

It takes you a few seconds to remember which case he was talking about " about the animal rescue?".

"Yes, I....." he gulps "I saw Zach and Mr.stone with one of the people involved."

You open your eyes full of surprise at Edward's statement, to this point it wasn't a crazy thing to happen "Shit."

"Yeah" he nods "Something's going on and it's not very good" he opines and you couldn't agree with him more, jeez, Edward just uncovered a sewer of fucking KMTJ corruption. "Damn" you curse still in shock. "Did they see you?" you ask.

"No, they didn't even notice me."

"Good" you snort "I also noticed something weird is going on" Edward hums with affirmation, he shudders at everything that happened in one night, he shouldn't have gone to that animal shelter.

"Hey, don't worry" you whisper touching her cheek "it's going to be okay".

Edward feels your warm palm, and closes his eyes softly absorbing all the affection you give him, he never thought he would have such genuine contact with another person, for the first time in his life, he feels he's not alone anymore. But that soft feeling starts to mix with something darker, he spent five years working for an idiot who only takes advantage of his talent. Something new emerges in him, but he doesn't know how to name it, it's only a matter of time before his mind becomes clear.

✧˖°. Thank you very much for reading. And again, an apologize for any errors! My ao3 ✧˖°.

[existentialdreadinc]

Welcome to Marterborough

David wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying in bed staring up at the ceiling.

Every time he closed his eyes he heard those awful noises and saw the pulverized remains soaked through with something that definitely wasn’t blood.

David had wanted to ask Angie about it, but his mouth refused to form words.  When she thanked him for his help and wished him goodnight, all he could do was nod in acknowledgement.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed.

It was pointless trying to sleep.  He opened up the cardboard box, grabbed a tape from the stacks, and loaded it into the machine.  Revenge of the Sewer Rats was still sitting next to the television, and he hoped this one would be another low-rent horror movie or maybe an equally cheapo sci-fi flick.

What greeted him instead was a field of brightly-colored flowers with a cloudless cerulean sky above and the sun beaming down.  Transposed over this idyllic scene was a cursive script that flowed from left to right slowly spelling out the message, Welcome to Materborough.

A middle-aged man with shoulder-length black hair wearing a lavender seersucker suit walked in from somewhere off screen just as the letters faded away.  His complexion was more than merely pale and could best be described as bloodless.  In most people this visage would’ve conveyed a frail, sickly appearance, but this man seemed the opposite of fragile.  He looked to David like a marble statue that had somehow been brought to life. This made him chuckle since he shared a name with arguably the most famous stone figure ever carved.

The gentleman stepped forward and held out his right hand as if expecting the viewer to shake it.

“My name is Samuel Burke and I’m here on behalf of the Materborough Board of Tourism to welcome you to our fine community.  Whether you’re just here for a visit, or fixing to put down roots, you couldn’t have selected a better place.

Materborough has a long and proud history as the site of one of the earliest settlements in the country.  Many of the storefronts in our quaint downtown have edifices that date back over a century and several of the structures have been nationally recognized as important historic buildings.”

David watched as the field behind Burke transitioned to a wide two-lane street bordered by ornate wrought-iron lampposts on either side with the windows of various shops and eateries silhouetted behind them.  He’d never been through this part of town.  Admittedly, he hadn’t done much exploring and had mostly been on the outskirts thus far, but it still seemed strange that he’d missed it entirely.  

“But please don’t mistake us for some roadside attraction mired in the past. No sir, we are forward thinking and forward moving.  Our town’s main employer E.D.I. is an absolute modern juggernaut that attracts outsiders from all over without changing those little things that make this place so special.

Now I could talk all day about why you should make us your next destination, but the only way to really understand is to come see it for yourself.

Materborough is that magical piece of your life you didn’t even realize was missing.”

The screen faded to black and David expected some kind of production credits but there was nothing.

He rewound the tape to the beginning and watched it again.

[thranduilland]

I’ve tripped back into the Barduil fandom, so...

(Whoops, I did a thing.)

Bard isn’t human, least not fully. He’s not fully anything. He’s not mortal either. There had been a time, in his youth, where his parents thought that perhaps he would be mortal in the way that his mother and grandfather weren’t, but he reached his majority and didn’t grow a single day older and they knew.

When his beard had started to grow in, he’d been surprised, had assumed that he wouldn’t grow one, like his grandfather. But he’d been pleased when it had grown, without it he looked too young, too other-worldly and he didn’t want that. Especially not after learning the reason for the Master’s hatred of him. He does wish his mother could have let Grandfather murder the idiot, but alas, that was too much to ask for.

He’s twenty when his father dies, illness had caught him in the winter and he never recovered. He watched his mother wither away in the months that followed and begged her to stay, but he already knew that she would be leaving him. At twenty, he loses his mother and father and begins working as the bargeman for the Woodland Realm.

At twenty-five he meets Florrie; he knows within moments of meeting her that she is like him. Stuck halfway between belonging anywhere and, therefore, belonging nowhere. They spend the majority of their courting days chasing each other through the trees at the edge of the wood at night, giggling like little children and pretending that they are elves of the wood and the moon and the stars. All the while, they know that when morning comes, they’ll be forced to return to their lives among mortal men, where they do not fit in. They know already that they do not fit in under the trees, either, but it’s fun to pretend.

His grandmother dies suddenly when he is thirty-three and he already knows without his grandfather needing to say a word, that he will lose him, too. The morning after his grandfather passes, he clutches Florrie close to him and they promise each other that they will not fade, no matter what happens, because one of them must always be there for the life that grows in Florrie’s womb even then.

His wife dies when he is forty-one, sickness and age could not claim her, but the birthing bed did. She leaves him three beautiful children and he promises that he will raise his children right, that he will love them always and ensure they know their mother and where she came from.

He is fifty when a dragon burns his town to ashes. Fifty when he does what countless others have failed to do. Fifty when he slays a dragon and becomes a king.

He is seventy-five when he has to sit his lover down and point out the fact that they’ve known each other for fifty-five years and he hasn’t aged a day. This is when he realizes that time truly means nothing for his grandfather’s people.

--

Ever since Bard abdicated his throne to Bain, citing old age, and disappeared into the Woodland Realm to be with his lover, he notices the way his lover has changed. Where once his lover made as much time as possible to be with him, now he pulls away, avoids him, and does what he can to be elsewhere, which is made easier by the fact they’re still sneaking about like they did in those early days. For all the affection they used to show in public, their relationship is one that has never been out in the open and now it seems to be slipping away. If Bard didn’t know better, he’d assume he’s made a mistake, that what he thought was love between them was only affection, but knows he isn’t wrong.

He has more patience than most, but even his patience is not infinite.

“Why are you avoiding me?” his voice comes out harsher than he intends, but he cannot ignore this situation any longer. If he had wanted to engage in a charade, he would have stayed in Dale. His lover is silent, looking at him from across the room, his lover’s eyes flickering to the doorway that Bard is now blocking. “Thranduil, answer the question.”

“I’m not avoiding you.” Thranduil finally answers, sighing and crossing the room to pour himself a glass of wine, as ever.

“I haven’t seen you in a week.” Bard points out, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes tracking Thranduil’s every movement.

“I have responsibilities and-“

“Don’t.” Bard says, cutting him off and shaking his head. “Don’t lie to me. I’ll accept whatever you have to say, as long as it’s the truth. You’ve never purposely lied to me before, don’t start now.” Thranduil is silent and still, a goblet of wine clutched tight in his hand as he looks down into the liquid depths. “If you don’t love me anymore, just say it and I will leave, you’ll never have to see me again.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Thranduil says, the words leaving him in a rush.

“What?”

“That you’ll leave and I’ll never see you again.” The elf answers, slowly putting the glass of wine down and looking across to Bard, his eyes shining with tears Bard has never seen him shed. “I thought I knew what I was doing when I let myself love you, Bard. But you’re mortal and I’m not and I can’t-“ Thranduil chokes on his words, swallowing thickly and looking away. Bard stares at him in stunned disbelief, before he let’s out an amused laugh, that he just can’t hold in.

“I’m not mortal, I never have been.” Bard says, watching as Thranduil’s eyes snap back to him.

“What?”

“My mother was half-elven, so was my grandfather.” Bard answers, cocking his head to the side and frowning at his lover. “I thought you would have figured it out by now, love.”

“How?” Thranduil exclaims, even as something like hope lights in his eyes.

“Love. We’ve known each other for fifty-five years! Do I look any older than I did the day we met? When you decided you just had to meet your new bargeman and decide his worth for yourself?” Bard demands, looking intently at Thranduil’s face, watching the confusion and disbelief that forms there.

“It can’t have been that long, surely.” Thranduil denies, but Bard can see him doing the maths in his head.

“Love, it’s been fifty-five years, trust me.” Bard promises, sees the moment Thranduil has counted the years in his head and realized the truth.

“I’m so stupid.” Thranduil whispers, burying his head in his hands and groaning. “I’ve been breaking both our hearts for nothing.”

“Yes.” Bard answers, laughing softly and shaking his head. “Honestly, Thran, I thought you’d figured it out!”

“Who?” Thranduil asks, looking at him suddenly, Bard just frowns and shakes his head in confusion. “Your elven ancestor?”

“Oh. Well that’s kind of hard to say, most of them were half-elves.” Bard explains, then he hums. “I guess Lindis but… look, I’ll just draw the family tree.” He mutters, crossing to the writing desk and sinking down into the chair, pulling blank parchment from the drawer, and starting to write. From a young age, his grandfather had ensured he could recite his family tree without prompting or hesitation.

“You are born of noble blood, Bard. No matter where life takes you, you must never forget the blood that runs through your veins is the blood of kings.”

His grandfather had just laughed and ruffled his hair when Bard had pointed out that Girion had only been Lord of Dale, not a King.

He starts the tree from the bottom, the way he had learned it in the first place. So lost in his writing is he, that he doesn’t notice when Thranduil appears at his shoulder, he doesn’t notice when Thranduil grips the back of the chair to steady himself, and he doesn’t notice the hard look that has formed on Thranduil’s face.

He draws the link between his great, great, great grandfather and great, great, great, great grandfather, marking them as brothers and the family is complete. He carefully puts the quill in its stand and blows across the parchment, drying the ink.

“There we are. The family tree of one King Bard of Dale.” He announces, leaning back and looking up at Thranduil, he frowns when he sees the far away look in Thranduil’s eyes, notes the way his lover’s hands are gripped so tightly to the back of the chair, his skin has gone white. “Love?”

“It always comes back to Doriath.” Thranduil whispers, his voice shaking as tears slip from his eyes.

“Thranduil?” Bard asks, nervously biting his lip. Thranduil gives a quiet little laugh and leans down to pick up the quill, dipping it in the ink pot and beginning to amend the family tree.

Bard watches in surprise at the names Thranduil adds, they’re not new on the family tree, they’re just alternate names. Names that Bard knows, names that everyone knows, if they know anything of Doriath, as Bard’s grandfather and great-uncle taught him.

“That’s not possible.” Bard whispers, but he remembers his grandfather’s words, remembers the argument his grandfather and his great-uncle had when they all learned he wasn’t mortal.

“He will not be recognized! They will not accept him!” Uncle Elurin grumbles, glaring at Bard from across the room, Bard doesn’t know what he’s done to upset his great-uncle, who has always enjoyed telling him stories and teaching him of his grandfather’s culture. “He is too different.”

“He is the heir.” Grandfather answers, his voice brooking no argument. “If the day comes that he must step into his own, he will claim his birth right and they will accept him. They have no right to do otherwise!” his grandfather snaps, then the brother’s devolve into a heated argument at a volume so quiet not even Bard can hear what they are saying. So, instead of trying to hear more, he turns away and gets ready to start his shift.

He’d assumed they were arguing over Dale, though why they thought he’d want to claim a ruin had been beyond him at the time. Now, he understands and he doesn’t want to.

When he looks up at his lover, he finds Thranduil watching his face intently, searching for something, his lover doesn’t speak, just keeps looking at him. Bard sighs and looks away.

“My grandfather always told me I was born of kings, that I was born to be a king.” He admits, rubbing his eyes, feeling suddenly like crying. “I always just assumed they were talking about Dale. He was talking about Doriath.”

“No.” Thranduil answers, sucking in a breath and letting it out slowly. “No, he wasn’t, Bard. Elu Thingol wasn’t just the King of Doriath. He was considered to be the King of All Sindar.”

“Fuck, no.” Bard exclaims, shaking his head. “No, no, nope, no. Dale is… was more than enough for me!” there’s a moment, of silence before Bard remembers what his great-uncle had said and he laughs, the sound quickly turning to sobs. “Fuck, that’s what Uncle Elurin was talking about.” He says, through hitched breaths.

“Bard.” He looks to Thranduil, even though his chest aches and he can’t seem to bring enough air into his lungs. “Bard, listen to me. There is no need for you to do anything, now or in the future regarding this. Alright?” Thranduil says, his voice pitched low and so soothing it seems to reach right into Bard’s mind and quiet all his fears. “No one is going to expect anything from you unless you want to give it, I promise. If the day comes, where we need another High King, there are others who it could be.”

“I know.” Bard says, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly as he gets control of himself. “Like… like Elrond… and my cousins.” He whispers, rubbing the tears from his eyes.

“Cousins?” Thranduil asks, looking back at the family tree. Bard sniffs and reaches for the quill, to add them in. Three cousins that he has never met but has heard stories of from his uncle.

“Oh. Hmm, that’s quite interesting.” Thranduil mutters, reading the names with a little laugh. “I wonder if they know.”

“I don’t … I don’t think so.” Bard answers, resting the quill back in its stand.

“You ready for another surprise?” Thranduil asks, an amused glint in his eyes, Bard breathes deeply and scowls at him.

“Do I have a choice?”

“No. But it’s a good surprise, I think.” Thranduil answers, leaning over to pick up the quill, but he hesitates before putting quill to parchment. “This… changes nothing between us. I love you.”

“I still love you, too.” Bard replies, brow furrowing as he watches as Thranduil starts writing.

His breath catches in his throat and slowly he lifts his eyes from the parchment to stare at his lover, who also, apparently, is a cousin. “Did you elves ever figure out that inbreeding is really bad?”

“Don’t judge us! The First and Second ages were wild times. There was a lot happening.” Thranduil argues, though there is laughter in his voice. “But if you must know, yes, we did figure that out, thank you.”

“Clearly not, if we’re an indication.” Bard replies, looking down at the family tree once more. “Do you want another surprise?” Bard asks, smirking at Thranduil who groans.

“What now? Isn’t this enough of a revelation for a single evening? For both of us?”

“Hmm.” Is Bard’s only reply as he reaches for the quill, a laugh bubbling in his throat.

“It’s always bloody Doriath!” Thranduil grumbles, Bard just laughs and then sighs.

“So, Daeron is from Doriath, too?”

“Yes! He was Thingol’s bloody scribe! We thought him long dead! But we thought the same of Elured and Elurin as well.” Thranduil rubs at his eyes and groans. “You don’t have to claim anything, there’s nothing really to claim at this point, but… we should tell people. I’m sure Celeborn would be happy to learn he has more relatives still living, and Elrond, at least, would probably like to know that he has cousins. Valar, he probably would like to know that he has a living uncle.”

“I don’t know if he is still living.” Bard points out, frowning at the tree. “I haven’t seen him since my grandfather passed, long before Smaug came.”

“Well, either way, I think this is something that should be shared, Bard. Finally learning what happened to Elurin and Elured is… incredible.” Here Thranduil pauses and looks at Bard who stares back and simply raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been wanting to ask since I found you after the Battle of Five Armies, but you were mortal and I...” Thranduil pauses, shaking his head as he breathes in deep and lets it out slowly. “Will you marry me?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re already married in the elvish custom, but… if it’ll make you stop hiding me in the shadows, yes, I’ll marry you.” Bard agrees, sees the smile that lights up Thranduil’s face, only to dim a few moments later, Bard frowns.

“I didn’t… I never meant for you to feel like something I was hiding or that I was ashamed of, I just… I didn’t think I’d be able to keep you so, I wanted everything that we had to be just… ours and no one else’s.” Thranduil admits, sighing. “I was foolish.”

“It’s alright. We both… we made assumptions and those assumptions were wrong. We’ll do better in future.”

“Yes, we will.” Thranduil agrees, gently pulling Bard up from the chair. “Let’s go to bed, tomorrow we can scandalize my kingdom with the news of our affair.”

“Technically, we’re already married.”

“Yes, but also technically, we are each still married to our wives, so we’re having an affair...” Thranduil points out, Bard laughs, a full belly laugh, leaning into Thranduil for support, unable to stop laughing as he lets Thranduil all but drag him to bed.

--

Bard is seventy-five when he learns he is the heir of Elu Thingol.

It changes nothing, but it also changes everything, as is the way of such secrets when they come to light.

He was always the heir of Elu Thingol, even if he never knew it.

He was always the heir of Girion, even if he never wanted it.

He was born of kings and a King he became, just as his Grandfather foretold.

[sukifoof]

thinking about floweys sense of self and that one thing sans says... “the more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. the more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. the more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.” that line has Always stood out to me especially when thinking about flowey and how he is constantly distancing himself from everyone.

i think a lot about how asriel is a combination of his parents names,, yes its funny that asgore cant name BUT it also. says a lot about floweys relationships i think. at some point flowey chose to hide his identity and to call himself flowey. hes severing himself from his family internally by no longer being called a name that is so deeply tied to his parents and his past, and then choosing a name that is linked with his grief.... i keep seeing posts on how the golden flowers represent grief, with how asgore is surrounded in it and how flowey has basically become his grief. he pushes toriel and asgore away, not really because he Wants to but because he just cant. take it. its painful to think of the life he used to and could have had and the mistakes his parents made because of his absence.

he already seems to feel like he doesnt deserve to see his parents again as asriel.... he doesnt want to break their hearts but i think its also because he cant admit what hes become, especially not to his parents. but its interesting how he still doesnt really... sever his duties from himself as flowey?? hes not willing to admit hes asriel and what asriel has become but he Is willing to say hes still the prince and hes still charas best friend. he blames himself for their death and the hopelessness in the underground but he still wants to fix everything which i think is..... Very Interesting.... he has a very. warped view of himself i think,, he keeps saying he cant feel compassion and yet he still wants to free everyone and takes care of toriel...

he also doesnt seem to feel comfortable calling his parents mom and dad as flowey... its almost like. it makes everything too Real and he has to accept that he is still asriel. a lot of what hes experiencing is very accurate to how people feel when theyve been traumatized.... part of him exists before charas death, and then theres the part of him that exists after charas death. its extremely hard for him to still feel like hes asriel because in his mind, asriel feels VERY different from who he is now. its like hes looking back on asriel and thinking that couldnt Possibly Really Be Him because asriel never experienced everything flowey did, if that makes sense.... he has a huge separation in his identities as asriel and flowey and its too weird for him to say theyre the same guy.

its not until he is “asriel” again that he feels he can ask frisk to look after his mom and dad... his whole fight is really interesting to me cuz. everything about it spells out his regrets. he regrets he couldnt become the king everyone wanted and he regrets he couldnt have fulfilled the prophecy and freed everyone solely because he just couldnt bring himself to kill. so when given the chance, of course he’ll make himself look like all he had hoped to be when he grew up, even if he already feels like hes Grown Up according to the alarm clock dialogue... its also interesting that he only does this once he believes frisk is chara,, kind of like. hes proving to them that he hasnt messed everything up and that they both still have a chance to be Best Friends Forever.... he cant really admit to himself how lonely and sad he is until the very end of that fight when frisk shows him hes worthy of being saved

his self hatred is really what it all comes down to. he has so many regrets that he just cant let go of and feels like he has to take care of everyone cuz thats what the prince is supposed to do. he probably thinks something along the lines of “i dont deserve friends or mercy because im a Complete Failure” so he distances himself from everyone and refuses to believe he actually has worth and that his parents still love him.... oh flowey u have so many issues. but anyway its so important to him that frisk was willing to save him and refused to let him have his way. he really needed that slap in the face that people care about him, no matter how much he tries to distance himself to stop feeling so hurt. even trying to keep “chara” with him forever is a form of distancing himself. he doesnt trust that they would simply want to spend time with him so he feels he has to force them to stay with him forever to keep from being rejected from the one person he just cant let go of no matter how much he tries.

flowey is terrified of have his thoughts validated. sure, he may feel hes unworthy of love but imagine if toriel had found out what he did as flowey. given the way she reacts to asgore, i really doubt flowey has much faith that she’d forgive him. he just would Not be able to take that. he wants to be in control of how and when he gets hurt, which is pretty. standard for someone as traumatized as him. its nice to see that in the alarm clock dialogue hes finally starting to,, calm down a little bit.... hes not as closed off and hes willing to accept a matching gift from papyrus, even if hes still hiding from his parents and taking care of toriel only when she cant see it. hes starting to get a little better and hes learning to trust again!!

i think flowey is one of the best written characters regarding trauma and ptsd and grief,,, everything about him handles the way it feels extremely well from the way hes constantly on guard and how he feels some kind of separation within himself and how much he blames himself,,,, toby u are SO talented at writing i swear

[tofu-loverx]

Creator reader teaching everyone TikTok dances?

I liked the idea!!. I can imagine some characters who may be ashamed to perform some of the dances we have, such as Xiao's character.

Fandom: Genshin Impact!

Type: Hcs! Fluff

Warnings: none.

Character: Childe/Xiao/Thoma/Ayato/Zhongli x Reader!

Note: English is not my native language, so sorry for any spelling errors.

You decided to teach Childe/Zhongli /Xiao As long as Zhongli is there, he won't refuse /Thoma/ and somehow you brought Ayato.

Since you loved dancing a lot before you became in the world of Teyvat, you learned almost all the tik tok dances, so it came to your mind to teach your dear characters your precious dances.

The first thing I did was to gather them in one place and it was the golden house. Some may ask why and of course You would answer them that it was a spacious, quiet and secluded place, a place suitable for playing music and dancing.

You decided to teach Childe/Zhongli /Xiao As long as Zhongli is there, he won't refuse /Keaya/Diluc/Thoma/ and somehow you brought Ayato.

CHILDE

The dances that you thought of teaching ginger head was the ride it dance.

You did the dance first and then you did it again, but at a slower rate.

Childe tried to imitate the dance, though he failed the first time, and he reasoned and fell to the ground.

You ran to help him and told him if the dance was too hard for him to change but he insisted on learning it and all he needed to do was get used to it.

ZHONGLI

For a Morax, there was a specific dance you wanted to see him perform called get up.

You danced it and he was reluctant to perform it, but who are you to refuse?

He gathered his courage and did the dance the first time.

You were surprised, but your desire to laugh was greater than your surprise, and your attempts to suppress the laughter made your face red.

XIAO

Xiao was left shocked by his master's dance so you turned to him and smiled.

He took a few steps back, eyes threatening and a categorical refusal that he would never dance.

You tried to convince him that the dance he was performing was easy, but he totally refused.

You did the say so dance, maybe he would change his mind, but he got more insistent on refusing.

THOMA

The Yummy dance suited Toma in terms of music and movements.

You showed Thoma how to dance and he agreed to perform it. He will not refuse you a request.

The first time he was stiff so you stood up straight for him to fix every mistake in his dancing posture.

With several attempts, his body loosened and he was able to move flexibly and perform it correctly, and with some perseverance he would be able to master it.

AYATO

Finally, Ayato was left and given his noble appearance, you wanted something bold.

The perfect choice was a savage dance, a daring dance that breaks the wall of nobility that he has built around him.

She danced for him and told him that it was his turn to dance it, of course it was not Ayato who used to dance in this bold way, and the strangest thing was that the Creator taught him these dances.

He was ashamed to perform it in front of everyone but if he didn't perform it he would consider Ginger head to have beat him in the dance.

He closed his eyes and exhaled and did it almost correctly, and he wouldn't drop an eyelid until he mastered it better than Childe.

[causeimhappinesss]

Disorder - Albert Wesker x reader

Pairing: Albert Wesker x reader

Warnings: none (maybe just some angst)

Request: "May I ask for an imagine where Wesker has an s/o with Borderline Personality Disorder and sometimes feels like a burden because of it? Thank you very much in advance~"

Disclaimer: I’m french and even if I’m learning English for ten fucking years, it’s not perfect and I’m sorry if there are spelling or grammar mistakes. If English is your native language (or if you’re bilingual), I would really appreciate it if you could help me by correcting my errors. Just don’t be too harsh, please. :)

In order to write this imagine, I had to do some research. I sincerely hope I didn't make a mistake or something that would offend someone. If I did, I apologize.

***

Albert loves people like him, that is to say, with perfect physical and mental health. Yes, he doesn't consider his God complex to be a mental health disorder... This means that, in order to be in a relationship with you, you must have hidden your Borderline Personality Disorder...

When Wesker finds out, it's because he suspects something, such as your mood swings, sarcastic answers, or the occasional (intense) outbursts you've had, whether it's about your work or your relationships with others. When it comes to him, you've always held it together as best you could. You have also expressed the fear of losing him on several occasions, especially when Excella or female scientists have been close to him. Much too close for your taste.

Not being an expert on such disorders, he did some research, but being unsure, he wouldn’t say a word about it. However, he won’t stop wondering... Does he want a normal person with weaknesses? Won't you ruin his plans to become the God of HIS world? Your mood swings, your tantrums could put him in danger...

And for this, he put distances between you for two weeks, without breaking up with you. At that time, your fear of abandonment and rejection increased, so much so that you couldn't sleep or eat. Every time you imagined he was about to leave you, your heart would clench and your stomach would twist. Tears rolled down your cheeks. You tried to fight it, you knew it was that damn disorder, but... it was so painful.

Then you realized that you had been idealizing him all along. Albert wasn't perfect. Albert was a cruel, selfish, manipulative man. All of this brought out a lot of anger in you. One night, as you tried to calm your tears, you punched your pillow repeatedly, imagining it was his face, until you were out of breath.

"Fuck you, Al! Why do I love you, huh? Why? Maybe it's me who should leave you, not the other way around!"

You felt that he didn't deserve you, you who were so devoted to him, who loved him so much, when he didn't give you any attention anymore.

Lying on your bed, your eyes fixed on your immaculate ceiling, you tried to think clearly, to put things into perspective. It was a battle against yourself and it was so complicated... but when your crisis dissipated, you sighed.

At least you hadn't yelled at him or called him names. With the years and your treatment, the crises were less complicated, the disease was easier to deal with than in your teen years.

To take your mind off it, while you were feeling ashamed of your own reactions, you decided to cook something to eat, something that made you happy.

While the food was cooking, you selected a novel that you loved to read to take your mind off it. Gradually, the storm of emotions and dark thoughts had dissipated and calmness had set in.

*

"What would William have done?"

It was a question Wesker often asked himself. Birkin was a calmer person than he was, more capable of love and affection, even though a few months before his death, his marriage to Annette had become complicated.

As he left his laboratory, free of all bacteria and his famous white coat, the man walked toward your apartment, still procrastinating. His heart refused to let you go, even though you weren't as perfect as he was.

"Anyway, no one will be..." he breathed in the elevator.

Even poor William Birkin had been stupid enough to inject himself with the G-virus.

When the doors opened on the top floor of the immense tower which gave an incredible panorama of the city, several kilometers away from his position, he went through the corridors to plant himself in front of the door of the apartment. He took a deep breath. He waited a few seconds, then took out his keys, opened the door and closed it behind him. When he ventured into the apartment, he found you asleep on the couch, a book on your stomach, an empty plate on the coffee table. You seemed to have fallen asleep a little unexpectedly. When he looked at your face, it looked swollen, especially your eyes, as if you had been crying.

Without trying to understand, he picked you up like a bride and brought you back to your room. Gently, he laid you on the bed. Immediately, he turned his back to you to undress.

At the same time, you opened your eyes and contemplated his muscular back, on which beauty spots were dancing. In spite of your tiredness and your creased eyes, you smiled.

This was the first time he had come to sleep with you in two weeks... for some time now, he had been spending his nights at the labs or in his own apartment... that meant he still loved you, right?

"Al...?"

Slowly, he turned around, his sunglasses on his nose. The moonlight that filtered into the room illuminated his toned torso, that of a God. He came to sit on the edge of the bed and one of his hands traced the contours of your face, from your swollen eyes to your slightly cracked and puffy lips.

"You've been crying, dearheart."

You didn't dare respond to that statement. You swallow hard. How to explain it to him?

"I know it's not easy for you right now... But I'm not going to abandon you, okay?"

A thin smile stretched your lips. Your heart skipped a beat. His snake-like eyes scanned you before he placed a warm kiss on your forehead. Even though he wasn't good at reassuring others, because before he met you, he rarely needed to do so, he was trying.

"I will try to help you, as best I can, but communication is important between us. Whenever something is bothering you, I want you to tell me about it."

You nodded and ran your hands through his blond hair, still sticky from the gel he put in it every morning.

"I'll do my best," you replied, before kissing him.

He responded to the kiss with tenderness, then pulled away from you.

"I'm going to take a shower. Will you join me afterwards for a bath?"

How could you refuse?

From that day on, you and Albert made a rule: tell each other everything every night. Absolutely everything. It was easier for him to reassure you, to make sure you would be okay and to help you through the occasional crisis, but also with your usual symptoms.

Albert would also consider finding a way to cure you permanently from this disorder, especially with the help of a virus. From experience, he knew that anything was possible and he wouldn't give up. He wanted you to be healthy and happy.

[douxie-casperan]

Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

~

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart 

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

[gracesmusings]

The Traitor

[ Fanart included in header was created by @upthehillart ]

Chapter 4/7

Book: Half-Blood Prince

"Darling," Y/N's mother pleads. Her dark dress flies across the stained wood, hand outstretched, reaching for her child. "No," Y/N shakes her head. Backing away from her mother, she directs the house-elf to pack her things.

"If you leave, you will not be welcome back." Y/N's father warns. His hands clasped, head bowed, elbows on the table, he stares at his one and only heir. "L/N!" Mother shouts.

"The dark lord will not take this lightly and neither will I!" His hand slams on the table. "You have been asked to join his ranks and you have the audacity to wait until graduation and then refuse," he hisses. "You are 18 and you still are unmarked!" His body tremors with anger.

"You have already tainted the L/N name but," he regains his collected manner, "if you were to bring an apology gift," the image of one of Hogwart's muggle born wizards being presented to Voldemort has Y/N stiffening, "and graciously accept the mark I am quite sure our debt will be forgiven."

Mother's shoulders relax, a rational solution in sight. "No." Mother's knees shake, threatening to give out. "Please," Mother pleads. "I'm sorry, mother," Y/N speaks sincerely, "but I can't." Jaw tightening, she works to unfold her fingers.

"Is it your soulmate? If it's a mud blood, we'll be able to fix it. There are spells, there are marks that can be done to sever the bond, please. Darling, it's not your fault. Sometimes mistakes are made."

Y/N's anger ignites at her mother's words. The mark on her skin burns into her soul. "Don't," Y/N hisses. "This has nothing to do with him! This has to do with following a barbaric ruler. I won't do it! I won't! I can't."

"Y/N!" Harry says in surprise. "How did you...?" The wizard steps back, allowing the girl to enter the home. "I didn't know where else to go," she looks down the hall, her eyes catching on a covered portrait. "I overheard you talking about this place," she trails off.

"I told him about it?" Harry asks, his eyes brows shooting up. "Yeah, said it's a safe haven." Y/N fidgets with her sleeves. "I'm sorry," she apologizes before turning to leave. "No, wait!" Pulling the handle, Harry prevents her from leaving.

"You're welcome to stay here. My godfather is...he won't mind the extra company." Picking up her small bag, Harry leads her into the main room.

"Who is it now, Harry?" A low voice calls out. "It's a friend from Hogwarts," Harry replies.

An impolite gasp leaves Y/N's lips when Sirius Black comes into the room. "Excuse the mess, miss." He greets politely. "I have tried to get the dumb elf to do it's bloody job, but I fear he seems to have a grudge against me." He chuckles.

"I—you're Sirus Black. I—ah, I'm sorry that's rude," Y/N can hear her mother scolding her now, especially when Sirius' cheerful face falls. "Professor Lupin mentioned you quite a lot." Y/N smiles fondly at the memory of writing to her old professor. The letters have dwindled in the last year, but she still receives and sends the occasional letter.

"Really now?" A wide smile spreads across his lips. Pulling out a chair, he beckons her to sit. "Please tell me exactly what my moon says about me."

Unpacking her bag, she sits a picture on the nightstand. "Draco, just smile for one second." She pleads in the photo. Unbeknownst to her, at the time, Blaise and Draco share a look before pouncing on her. Pansy and Theo quickly look towards the pile of limbs before jumping into the chaos.

"Do you miss it? Hogwarts I mean." Harry stands at the door. "All the time," Y/N sighs. "It's home," they both say at the same time. Smiling, Harry points out the door. "I'm two doors down if you need anything. Patting the door frame, Harry pauses for a minute.

"If you ever want to talk about that," his eyes flicker to the mark on her wrist, "Sirius is an excellent person to talk to." Harry walks out of the room.

Rushing forward, she catches the door. "Potter?" Harry stops. His back to her, she takes that as her chance to continue. "You help him too." With a slight bow of his head, Harry continues down the hall.

Weeks pass where Y/N, Harry, and Sirius navigate the end of summer. Once a week Sirus holds a private get together and Y/N excuses herself. Each time she walks around the ministry of magic. Observing the individuals who go about. Every other day she sends Draco a letter.

"Is that..." Harry peers at the letter on her desk from the door. "Yes," she allows him entrance. "I have to pretend I'm his soulmate," she says carefully.When his demeanor does not change, she continues. "My name is on every kill list at this point," she darkly chuckles. "That's not true." Harry shakes his head as his eyes rake over the letter.

Biting her lower lip, she fights back a snarky comment. "This just sounds like a love letter. Two people separated, yearning to be together. What does it mean?"

Ducking her head, she hides her lopsided smirk. Oh, how opposite they are, she muses. "Well, I'm telling him here that he is safe at Hogwarts for now. Here," her finger traces over the sentences where she is musing about the perfect date spot, "I am telling him of a safe hideout." They continue decoding the letter for the next hour.

"Do you think you can write something for me?" Harry asks.

"Well, Harry's off to Hogwarts," Sirius sighs. Sitting down at the table, he eyes the gauntlet wearily. "Polyjuice?" Eyebrow quirked. He looks up at the strange witch.

"Slytherin, ey?" His eyes narrow on her. "Azkaban, ey?" she smarts back, causing him to laugh. "Touché." he grins. "I like you and Harry trusts you, so that's good enough for me. So tell me, who pissed you off and what are you going to do about it?"

Sitting down, Y/N flicks her wand. Rum appears before both of them. Taking a sip, she looks at the older man. "What makes you say that?"

"I know that look," he wags a finger at her. "I've had that look one too many times in my life," he smiles fondly. "I'm just getting a little payback," Y/N smirks into her glass. "Good," Sirius muses. "Make it count."

Drinking his drink Sirius waits for her to ask the question, which is burning on her tongue. "Go ahead." he nods.

Biting her tongue, she releases it and then says, "It's not my place," she shakes her head. "I don't mind, really."

"Is Remus your..." "The voice in my head, my soulmate, my love? Yes," Sirius answers. "But your best friends, why would...Harry said that I should talk to you about...," her fingers ghost over the mark, the words like poison in her tongue.

"We are best friends, always have been, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying. I was young," Sirius cringes, "and stupid. Instead of talking to him I decided that he would agree with me because he hadn't mentioned it. So I marked my arm with a silencer and carried on with school and everything else I was doing.

"It wasn't until,” Sirius’s eyes darken and he turns his head away. “Until after I escaped Azkaban, we finally talked it through. Wiping that thing off was like seeing in color for the first time."

Looking down at her empty mug, Y/N reaches for the potion. "I'm happy that it worked out for you, Mr. Black. I really am. I just don't think my mate will be as forgiving." Drinking the potion, she begins to transform into a ministry official.

"Aw good morning Mr. Malice," Umbridge's high voice greets her secretary. "Good morning, miss," Y/N greets. Walking along the usual route, she recites the women's schedule until they reach the pink office.

"Shoo shoo now," Umbridge flicks her hand when Malice stays at the door. Stepping into her office she turns expecting to close the door but instead is greeted with her assistant in her personal space. "Malice, I don't know what you think you're doing but—"

"Sit," Y/N hisses. Wide eyes stare back at her, a slow hand creeps towards her wand, but Y/N casts a spell sending the women's wand to the floor. "Now," Malice commands.

Following the order. Her hands tremble as her assistant rifles through her desk. "If you think you'll get away with whatever this is, you are sorely mistaken."

Slamming the feather down, Y/N pushes the parchment paper to her former teacher. H/c hair begins to appear on her head and she can see her skin tone begin to shift back. "What is the meaning of this?" Dolorous stares at the quill and parchment. Looking up, she's stunned to see her former student.

"Miss Y/N!" Leaning down Y/N places the quill in the women's hands. Tilting her head, she stares menacingly at the women. "Write, I must not harm children." Umbridge goes to stand.

Slamming her left hand on the table, Y/N reaches for the locket around her neck, tugging her forward roughly. "Write it until it sticks." Pushing her back into her seat, she pulls out her wand.

Gulping, Umbridge begins to write her sentence.

"Keep writing," Y/N presses her wand into Dolores' neck. Eyes flickering down to the hand near her leg. The blood seeps out, covering the words that will forever read "I must not harm children". "I can't," Umbridge's voice breaks. "One more," Y/N commands.

A strangled yelp leaves her lips when a hand makes its way around her throat. The quill drops to the blood stained parchment. "You ever step foot in Hogwarts again and I'll kill you. You ever touch another child and I'll make you scream until you can't scream anymore," Y/N hisses.

Pushing away from the desk, she walks to the door. Turning around, she points her wand and says, "Petrificus Totalus."

Leaving the office, Y/N walks down the hall. Black cloak trailing behind her.

"Why don't you stay?" Sirius' forehead crinkles. "You sure?" Y/N pauses at the door. Sirius' friends were going to be here any minute. "Yes." he nods suddenly, sure of himself. "There's some stuff you need to know about. For instance, this meeting isn't just a get together or old friends."

"Tell me more." Y/N sits down at the table. "Why doesn't Remus tell you?" Quickly standing, Y/N turns around and hugs her former professor. He looks a little worse for wear, but she can see the new light behind his eyes. The light that was all but put out two years ago.

"Happy Birthday, pup." He pulls her a little closer. "How's Black treating you?" "He's just a big puppy," Y/N chuckles.

"That he is," Remus smirks and Sirius groans.

Both men fill Y/N in on the Order and their mission. "I shouldn't be here," Y/N shakes her head. Moving to stand, she is stopped by a strong grip on her wrist. "Do you understand who my parents are? What they are! What I am!" Her eyes cut into them.

"I understand that you come from a family who has done horrible things. But just because a majority of your family follows one path does not mean that it is in your blood. You," Remus' eyes drift over to Sirius, "choose your path."

Her mind floats back to the rush she felt when Umbridge was at the end of her wand. "I—" "It's okay to be angry," Sirius adds. "It's even okay to cross that line but just know that you always have a choice. You can always come back."

"Joining the meeting today doesn't mean that you have to jump right in." Remus hums in agreement. "Just sit through the meeting, listen to the old croan talk. Ow!" Sirius rubs the back of his head.

“That old croan saved your arse," Remus scolds. "No, you and Harry saved my arse." Remus rolls his eyes.

"Besides, " Sirius shrugs, "it's your birthday so we'll celebrate after." His grin widens when Y/N's objections are swallowed by the sound of the Order.

"Miss L/N, " Severus Snape nods before taking a seat. Looking around at the sea of people Y/N glances from her coldhearted head of house to the others and takes a seat.

"Professor." If she were not so focused on the jolly red-headed woman greeting Remus and Sirius she would have seen a small smile from Snape.

"I'm not your professor anymore, Miss L/N." "Neither am I your student." Her eyes peel away from Molly Weasley. "Mmhm, " Snape nods. Leaning forward on the table, his long sleeves carefully laid across his forearm, shielding his mark from anyone's prying eyes. Turning his chin towards her, he lowers his voice. "I wouldn't sit too close to me, Y/N, you might give Dumbledore more bad ideas."

Y/N cocks her head at the odd statement and her heart nearly sputters to a stop when she sees the despair in his eyes; for some reason it reminds her or Sirius. Quickly turning away from him, she is snapped out of the darkness.

"Well Miss L/N, what a lovely surprise!" Dumbledore's hands come together loudly, his eyes twinkling. "Too late," Severus sighs.

The meeting commences without further introduction.

"Arthur, she's no older than George and Fred, " Molly whispers, her back to Y/N. She doesn't see the young witch approach the coffee bar that Sirius was forced to set up.

"We are only a few months apart. Y/N L/N, " sticking out her hand she watches as Molly looks between her full cup of tea and the extended arm. Fearing that her son's had revealed less than favorable information, Y/N lets the limb fall limp back to her side.

"Oh hi dear, I'm Molly," passing her cup to her husband she engulfs the witch in her arms. Y/N tenses up before relaxing in her comforting embrace. "Sorry, just the mum in me, I guess." Molly blushes.

"S' fine," she smiles. "Miss Y/N!" Dumbledore calls. Looking towards her former Headmaster she sees Severus standing in the doorway looking ready to flee the premises. "Darling, " Molly's hand reaches for her wrist.

The black cloth seems to tighten around her arm under the weight of Molly's hand.; the silencer burning deep. "If you get in too deep or he asks too much, we are here." She nudges Arthur, who nods. Cookie crumbles on his lips. "Dumbledore means well and we do have a war on our hands but I fear he seems to forget that most of his army is children."

Nodding Y/N leaves the Weasleys’ and joins Dumbledore and Severus for a private meeting.

All mistakes are mine ♡︎

I am trying to get back to writing. I would appreciate any feedback. Please just don’t be mean.

I do not own Harry Potter. This is Fanfiction.

Likes are appreciated, Reblogs are loved, Comments are cherished!

Reposting (copying and pasting) is not allowed…

Thank you for reading 💋

Series Master List

[bestworstcase]

I like your thoughts on how Rapunzel was handling things wrong in “Rapunzel: Day One.” The episode tries to imply that Cassandra is wrong for not sharing her feelings with Rapunzel, but is a Rapunzel really the person Cassandra should be opening up to? Rapunzel never respects Cassandra’s boundaries. Cassandra’s a private person. Rapunzel doesn’t respect that. And just because Cassandra doesn’t want to open up to everyone doesn’t mean that she’s bottling things up.

ok so this is gonna be a long one bc tbh i like. fundamentally disagree that RDO, the narrative of RDO, in any way positions cassandra as the one at fault for the emotional conflict between her and raps.

to digress a bit - while tts is not immune to Aesop Episodes (e.g. rapunzel's enemy or you're kidding me) wherein the characters close out the story by talking about What They've Learned, ultimately i don't think tts can or should be read as a morality play. it's a story where sometimes characters just... fuck up and the narrative doesn't waste its time on hand-holding or spoon-feeding us the moral.

anyway, i submit that RDO is what i'll call a False Aesop Episode. it follows the basic structure of an Aesop Episode (protagonist acts badly -> protagonist learns a lesson) but the lesson rapunzel learns is a bad one. it's like if you took... say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" as an aesop, the False Aesop here is rapunzel confidently eating a rotten apple and then being blindsided a few months later when the doctor who kept begging her not to eat food with maggots in it steals the moonstone from under her nose and runs off into the night with her new demon pal--

and that metaphor got away from me a little bit but you get the idea.

#1: constructing the conflict

the episode opens with cassandra. she's training; we see the sword fly out of her injured hand; lance suggests she take a break, and she answers, "thanks to rapunzel's little trick at the great tree, i have to relearn everything using this hand, so breaks aren't really an option."

she isn't harsh about it. her demeanor isn't all that different from her normal self—she even segues into a very typical concern (that the woods are dangerous and they should all be on their guard) and banters with lance a bit.

what this communicates, immediately and succinctly, is that:

1. cassandra's injury is severe. it's disabling. she's either in immense pain or she's lost all the strength in that hand or both.

2. cass is really upset about this, and not happy with rapunzel.

3. nevertheless cass is keeping her feelings more or less in check; the worst anyone could say about her is she's being a bit more curt than normal.

which is to say, she's acting quite reasonable. she's not taking out her hurt feelings on anyone else or being mean or lashing out, and she's not hiding her injury either. the most concerning thing about her behavior here is actually that she's focused on training so she can do her job instead of on healing or resting or taking care of herself.

then there's a pan over to rapunzel, who is angrily watching this play out while venting to pascal. "i get why cass is mad at me," she says. "she told me—" huge disdainful rolling of eyes here "—not to use the decay spell back and the tree, and i did, and she hurt her hand. but if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! and i feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it!!"

line this up against cassandra's behavior and spot the differences.

cass is focused on her injured hand. cass is upset because rapunzel accidentally mutilated her in the great tree. that's what this conflict is about for cass; her injury, and how she feels about being injured.

by contrast, rapunzel thinks the conflict is about them not listening to each other. she does acknowledge that cass was injured, but 1. she puts the blame on cass, and 2. has shoved the fact of the injury to the periphery of the conflict. it's not important, it's just a natural consequence of the real conflict, which is cass being mad and petty and refusing to talk to her about how she's unfairly blaming rapunzel for something that wasn't rapunzel's fault.

[i will add here that this behavior from rapunzel is 100% not knowing how to handle guilt and externalizing it as anger, and this thread of rapunzel burying her guilt gets picked up again in rapunzeltopia; it isn't that rapunzel doesn't care that cass is hurt, so much as she's just not emotionally equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way so it mutates into...this.]

and where cass handles her feelings in a pretty reasonable way, rapunzel rants and raves and draws cass as a literal monster with fangs and claws—she's stewing in her out of control emotions and concludes that she just has to find a way to force cass talk to her, which she does shortly thereafter by ordering—not asking—cass to come with her to search for parts to fix the caravan.

#2: the breakdown of communication

i've said it before but it bears repeating: cassandra might not be perfect, but she's a good communicator. in s1 and the front half of s2, she shares her feelings with rapunzel readily and frequently. when she tries to set boundaries with rapunzel, she's able to be clear and specific about what she needs. when she expresses frustration with eugene or her dad or rapunzel, she's very articulate about exactly what she's frustrated about. she can recognize when politer, softer refusals are being ignored and become blunter and more specific to ensure the message is getting across.

the moments when cass struggles to communicate are noteworthy because they're not normal. they signal that she's in acute crisis. think of how her unhinged rant about adira in RATGT heralded a complete emotional breakdown. she clams up in RDO because it's the only thing she can do to protect herself. because rapunzel is an inexperienced nineteen year old who learned all her social "skills" from a manipulative, egotistical abuser and nowhere in the series does that show more than in RDO.

rapunzel knows cass doesn't want to talk about the great tree, so she isolates cass from the rest of the group with the intention of forcing her to talk about it anyway. she's passive aggressive at first: chattering about inanities and trying to bait cass into 'opening up,' and acting vexed and guilt-trippy when she finds out cass brought owl along. she broaches the subject by going "too bad there's not an open-up-to-your-best-friend-about-the-thing-you-guys-are-fighting-about wand, huh?"

then she leads with "i know you're mad at me, but i did the right thing. i didn't have a choice," which... what can cass even say to that? she acknowledged cassandra's anger in one breath and followed up with "but you're wrong tho" in the next. that statement makes cassandra's feelings about her debilitating injury into an argument about Who Was Right.

this is a game that cass tries very hard not to play. "look, if you feel that way, then it's fine. we're good," she says, which is a statement that is not true at all on its face but - what it means is that if rapunzel wants to turn this into a debate about Who Was Right, cass will concede because that's not an argument she's invested in. cass does not want to put her feelings on trial so rapunzel can pick them apart and decide whether she deserves to have them or not.

so she disengages. the sun sets. they camp. rapunzel pokes her again, this time with a more direct approach: "cass, i need to talk about what we both know is going on between us."

and that's when cass throws up a WALL. prior to RDO, when cass is pressed on her feelings, she either: 1. opens up and explains to the extent that she's able (e.g. under raps or RATGT), or 2. flatly shuts the conversation down (e.g. cassandra vs eugene). but in RDO?

"there's nothing to talk about."

"i never said i was upset."

"what makes you so sure that you know how i'm feeling?"

this is cass falling off the end of her rope. this is a cass who spent the last year and a half with rapunzel running roughshod over every boundary cass exhausted herself trying to set. this is cass maybe a few weeks out from rapunzel screaming at her in front of all their mutual friends and then telling her "i am going to make decisions you don't agree with and i need you to be okay with that" when cass tried to open up about her deepest insecurities. this is cass spiraling into despair because she's seen that her best friend cares more about assuaging her own guilt and exerting her authority as a princess than she does about cassandra's feelings.

this is the moment when the friendship dies.

#3: the memory wipe, cassandra's apology, and the false aesop

the details of the tangled-but-cass shenanigans are not super important for the purposes of this discussion. suffice it to say that cassandra lashes out in the heat of the moment, seriously harms rapunzel by mistake, and spends the rest of the episode trying to repair the damage, then apologizes to rapunzel for hurting her. this is, obviously, the correct thing to do when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident.

you see the parallel here, yeah?

rapunzel hurt cass with magic by accident, and then made cass's hurt feelings all about her, blamed cass for the injury, twisted the facts to justify her own indignation, picked a fight about Who Was Right and invalidated cassandra's feelings, and pushed and pushed and pushed until cass blew up and lashed out at her.

cassandra also hurt rapunzel with magic by accident, and then she set aside her own hurt feelings from the argument they were having before to focus one hundred percent of her energy on brewing a cure and keeping amnesiac rapunzel safe, readily admitted her fault, and offered an earnest apology for losing her temper as soon as she could reasonably do so.

if RDO were a true Aesop Episode, this would be the lesson, and rapunzel would of course learn from cassandra's good example and reciprocate by apologizing for the accident in the great tree and her abysmal behavior afterwards—and in a reflection of how cass shared how bottling up her anger allowed it to erupt in a catastrophic way, rapunzel would probably confess that her demanding, selfish behavior came from a place of feeling awful about what happened and terrified that it would ruin their friendship.

but RDO is a False Aesop Episode. rapunzel isn't emotionally equipped to handle the intensity of her guilt, and she lacks the social insight and empathy to draw comparisons between what she did to cass and what cass did to her, so she can't connect the two situations in her head to understand what she's doing wrong. the true aesop flies right over her head, and instead what she learns is this:

1. she was right about cass being upset

2. backing cass into a corner fixed the problem

3. friends really do "just know"

4. being pushy and forceful was the right thing to do.

because the thing is, when cass apologizes for the accidental memory wipe, she truthfully explains why she acted the way she did—she's furious and she didn't want to talk about it, so she held it in as long as she could and then exploded when the pressure became too much—and for rapunzel, i think the explanation and the actual apology get conflated. meaning, cass says "i'm sorry for what i did out of anger" and what rapunzel hears is "i'm sorry for being angry."

and because of that misunderstanding, from rapunzel's perspective her own indignation has been validated and her behavior justified, because she was right all along and cass shouldn't have been angry with her in the first place and now everything is fine--

but it's not fine.

we're not supposed to share rapunzel's perspective here, because she's flat out wrong. nothing is really better and nothing has really changed, except that rapunzel got the talk she wanted and stops putting this intense pressure on cass. so as we enter the house of yesterday's tomorrow, rapunzel is taking it for granted that things are fine with cass, and meanwhile cass is still injured, still angry, still as aloof as she can be without getting rapunzel breathing down her neck again... and then she meets zhan tiri, who gives her everything she needed and couldn't get from rapunzel.

like, to my mind, this is the entire point of RDO, that rapunzel makes this catastrophic mess of trying to patch things up after RATGT and comes out of that mess wrongly thinking she succeeded. the episode is presented through the lens of rapunzel's perspective, but the lines are very wide and i absolutely think the intention is for the audience to read between them and understand the reality that rapunzel has sort of blinded herself to.

[hournites]

Bait & Switch

Hournite Week 2021 - Day 3: Secret Admirer 

~.~

“And then we can head to the Pit Stop for—eeep!!” Beth jumped from her locker as a piece of white paper landed in her hair.

 “Oooooh!” Yolanda poked her side. “Is that another letter?” 

 Beth reached up for the standard printed paper sheet folded in three. She glanced at it, biting her lip as she scanned the page. “Looks like it, yeah!” 

 “I’m sorry,” Rick interrupted when Courtney grabbed Beth’s arm to squeeze. “Another what?” 

 “Beth’s been getting letters in her locker.” Courtney pointed to the little green shelf attachment Beth had on her inner locker next to magnets and pictures of Yolanda, Court, and Rick. A small pile of like creased letters accumulated there, sitting innocuously. 

 “Love letters,” Yolanda chimed in. 

 Rick’s frown stayed in place. “Since when did Beth have a boyfriend?” 

 “I don’t,” Beth corrected him. “I mean, not yet? I don’t know? I haven’t reached out or anything, I just started getting them a few days ago. I’d ask Chuck to scan them for fingerprints or something, but...you know.” She laughed a bit, pushing down the way Chuck’s blown in frames still stabbed at her heart. “Anyway, there’s no handwriting since it's printed, see?” She handed it to Rick. 

 “Hey Beth, I notice your yellow shoes.” His eyebrows raised past his hairline. “Why does this kid have a foot fetish?” 

 “Rick!” Courtney scolded. 

 “Sounds like Bowin.” 

 Yolanda scoffed at the Isaac comment. “As if Isaac had the balls.” 

“To you, maybe.” Beth took the letter back when she realized Rick wouldn't appreciate it. “To me, it’s kinda sweet?” She flashed her friends a shy smile. “They always have something to say about what I’m wearing.” 

 “So they’re watching you,” Rick deadpanned. “Not creepy at all.” 

 Her face fell. “You think it’s creepy? Like ISA creepy?” 

 “Rick!” This time it was Yolanda. Courtney swatted his arm. 

 “Hey!” 

 Yolanda veered Rick off to the side, speaking in a hushed tone. “Believe me, you and I both know the guys here can be horrible, but this all seems very PG. I don’t see anything wrong with it, and neither does Courtney. Can we not ruin this for Beth?” 

 Rick pursed his lips, but Yolanda crossed her arms until he gave in. 

 ~.~ 

 One letter turned into two, and then three. Rick leaned against the metal row of lockers as Beth tried to catch the fluttering paper before it touched the dirty floor. 

 “More mystery mail?” 

 “Second one today, I didn’t get one yesterday, I was wondering if they forgot.” She tucked it in her pocket and went for her lunch bag.

 “You’re not going to read it?”

 “I thought you weren’t interested.” 

 Rick straightened his back. “No no, I’m interested! I’m very interested.”

 “You just want to make fun of what they said.”

 “No!” Though he was lying and Beth knew it. 

 They walked to the cafeteria, Yolanda and Court were already eating their lunches.

 “C’mon,” Rick pestered the girls. He leaned his arms on the table conspiratorially. “Don’t we all want to hear what Beth’s secret lover has to say today?”

 “I don’t have a secret lover,” she protested, but the girls got excited at the news of Beth getting locker mail twice and Rick leaned back in his plastic chair, satisfied.

 “Secret admirer, then.”

 Beth shot him another look of exasperation, but he merely raised his eyebrows at her.

 “What,” he countered. “Is that not what it is?”

 “Um, yeah,” she scooted in her chair, pressing the letter down and smoothing it out, refusing to look up at any of them, embarrassed. “We can call them that. Aw! They said I’m pretty!” Beth squinted at the paper. “Oh, they spelled it wrong.” 

 As much as he found Beth’s notes weird as hell, he got a rise out of watching her stammer and flush at all the attention. Courtney’s usually the one to flail around with massive blushing and her awkward high pitched voice when confronted about Cameron. In all honesty, hearing Courtney gush about Cameron without either of them making real moves on each other got tiring. Yolanda never looked like she wanted to talk about a love life for herself ever again, so Beth’s bright eyes reading out loud her dumb letters were new. He’d never seen her so eager to get to her locker. She’d drag him out of their class together to make a beeline for it. Really, it was cute. Maybe that’s why Rick couldn’t stop teasing her. 

 ~.~

 Later that week, the group sat together at lunch as usual. Courtney’s hair would not stay up in the messy bun she’d been trying and failing to pull off. She kept wrapping a hair elastic around the ball of blonde curls. Rick watched as she huffed out an annoyed breath at the fifth time it flopped over the front of her face. 

 “You need a mirror,” Rick pipped in unnecessarily. He smirked when she glared at him. 

 “I give up!” Courtney reached across the lunch table to grab Yolanda’s wrist when she gave up for the sixth time. “Help?” 

 Yolanda laughed, scooting her chair over and said, “I’ll just give you a braid.” 

 “Oh!” Beth jumped in her seat as if she just remembered something. “My letter today said something really nice about my hair!” She unzipped her school bag to bring it out. Yolanda peered over at it while she continued to fix Courtney’s mess. She read it out loud for them. 

 “That’s not even that great,” Rick pointed out when Beth finished. “They like your hair. So what? Your hair always looks great, there’s no effort involved on their part.” 

 Beth frowned at her letter. “Really?” 

 “It’s superficial, don’t you think? They don’t say anything about why they like you as a person.” 

 “Yeah,” Courtney cut in. “Probably because they don’t know her that well? Cut them some slack?” 

 “I don’t need to cut anyone any slack.” 

 Yolanda took a bite out of her apple. “If you liked someone, what would you do?” She batted her eyelashes at him as she chewed on her snack, clearly expecting a lame answer.

 “I don’t like anyone.”

 Yolanda shared a look with Courtney. Courtney would do that a lot with Mike and Beth would do that a lot with himself but when Yolanda did that with Courtney, Rick always felt a bit paranoid. 

 “Is that illegal or something?” Rick muttered, stabbing his fork into his food.

 “No,” Yolanda replied, dragging out the syllable carefully. “But let's say hypothetically that you did, would your answer be the same?”

 Now Beth was waiting intently for his answer as well. 

 Rick pushed his plastic tray away, no longer hungry. “If I liked someone I’d let them know… like a normal person.”

 Courtney stifled a laugh that irked him. Her ice blue painted nails covered her mouth to half hide whatever joke she had within. 

 Yolanda tugged at one of her stray curls as a warning. “Court.” 

 “What now?” Rick groused. 

 Courtney leaned forward, gripping the edges of the table. “Would you actually?”

 “No offense Court, but if I liked a girl, I wouldn’t run off to tell you about it.”

 Now Courtney really did laugh, but Rick was dead serious. If he liked someone, he wouldn’t make it overcomplicated. If it were someone that could actually like him back, he’d just be honest with them. No frilly notes or secret rendez-vous. 

 He pushed Beth’s little love letter across the table. Beth took it wordlessly, mouth pressed in a careful line, eyes inquisitive. 

 Not that Rick had much time to think about what he’d do if he did like anyone. There wasn’t much time for Rick to develop feelings other than the deep-rooted anger and hatred that brewed for years over the conditions of his life. 

Rick shook his head at her. This wasn’t anything complicated. If he were the one secretly crushing on Beth, he’d tell her. He said as much to the girls when they pestered him some more. “It’s not that hard.”

 ~.~

 Beth got new letters every day for the next week. It became routine for her to read them during their lunch period. The girls pushed their chairs closer together to scrutinize the text, eyes peeled for anyone they might think to be the secret admirer. Rick played along half-heartedly, though mostly ate his lunch suppressing eyerolls. 

  “That top looks great on you. Also, why did you take off your rainbow necklace? It's cute.”

 “Hmm,” said Yolanda. “Maybe it’s a girl.” 

 Rick scraped his plastic fork against the paper plate on his lunch tray. “Maybe they should stop staring at Beth’s shirt.”

  “I don’t mind,” Beth said, looking up at him. 

 Rick scraped the styrofoam plate again. These letters weren’t amusing anymore.

 ~.~

 Beth approached him that day after training. She drummed her fingers against the green cloth of her cape along her arms, craning her neck up to look at him as he raked through his upswept hair. They were in the loft of the Pit Stop where they’d dumped their bags. Beth was on the couch, in no hurry to change into fresh clothes because she hadn’t sweat through hers the way he had. Chuck was still offline, so she had been cautioned to stay a few paces behind the others for protection. She usually chose to stick by Rick. 

 Rick shook out his aching fingers. His hood was hanging low over his shoulders and the heaviness of his suit weighed after the effects of his tapered strength. 

 “What?” he asked after several moments, acutely aware that she just stood there, staring.  

 “Is there anything you’re not suspicious of? Sometimes you just have to trust people.” 

 Rick sighed, turning around. He thought this was about the training or the sweat or the way his hair stuck up like a cartoon and he didn’t have enough gel to smooth it back down, but Beth clearly wanted to revisit their conversation from lunch. He’d rather not. “If this is about the letters—” 

 “It is. What’s your deal with them, really? Even my mom knows! She thinks it’s funny! I’m having fun!” She grinned widely and threw out her hands to back up her words. Like he needed to see her laugh off the fact someone was following her around the school without coming forward about it to prove it wasn’t something to be reasonably concerned about. 

 Rick sat down beside her on the couch, taking a moment to articulate his phrasing. He didn’t want Beth to bristle at his tone or words. He’d made the mistake enough, seen the hurt written on her face way too many times. She could handle his heat, but it always left Rick feeling shitty to realize she needed to guard herself around him. Steel herself to get offended. He needed to stop offending her, Beth was quite frankly the kindest person Rick knew. This was why Rick felt strongly about the twenty-seven ways this secret admirer situation emerged red flags. “Don’t you want to know who they’re from?” 

 Beth shrugged. “It’d be nice.” 

 “Would you date them if they revealed themselves?” 

 “Um.” Beth flushed. “Maybe? I don’t know. I’m not planning any weddings but I’ve thought about it, I guess.” She side-eyed him. “Are you going all big brother on me now?” 

 Rick almost said yes, but bit his tongue at the last second, making a face. It didn’t feel quite right. He opened his mouth instead to retort about protecting the team. Beth accepted it well enough, wrapping her arms around his middle to thank him for bothering enough to care. Rick stiffened at her hug, thrown off by the carefree way she clung to him. He placed his hand on her back and she pushed her head further against his shirt. 

 “I don’t want you upset with me.” 

 Her words stabbed at his gut. “I’m not,” he said, surprised and dismayed. Of course she’d perceive it that way even after he tried. “I’m not, Beth. Though I guess you’re right, trusting people isn’t my thing.”

 “I know, I didn’t mean to be so defensive about it.” She looked up at him and removed her cowl. Her hair sprung out high, decompressed from the tight, restraining fabric.  “It’s just that I wish when a note makes me smile...You’d smile back at me.” 

 He didn’t say anything for a moment. Beth crossed her legs, eyes and hands now at the clasp of her vintage cape. Her hair expanded, reclaiming its crown over her head. It bloomed in front of him. Not just the hair, her wisdom and hope and trust to share that so candidly with him. 

 “I’ll try?”

 A tiny pleased smile began as her thumb looped through the hook. “You will?” 

 “Yes,” Rick said. 

 The green of the cape flashed in front of them. Only a trace of that smile remained once it was neatly folded on her lap.  “Thank you.”

 ~.~

 Rick tried. 

 It was like now that Rick gave her his disgruntled blessing of the elusive secret admirer, Beth no longer capped the word count on her inner novel of thoughts about it. She’d speak freely without checking back or worrying that Rick would make any comments and Rick had pretty much shut up about it to her face. 

 This was her thing, and it made her happy. Why did it matter what Rick thought about it anyway? 

 Though it did matter, exactly because of how happy those typed letters made her. It wasn’t wrong that Beth saw the best in people or found cheerfulness in all uncertain things. Rick was glad for it, honestly. That persistence in her wrestled with his own stubbornness— somehow it evened each other out. Beth’s drive blazed a fire that refused to be stomped out. Rick liked that drive in her. He appreciated it, even, just as much as it sometimes drove him insane. He didn’t want to be the one to smother that flame— Not him, or anyone else. 

 ~.~ 

 Rick didn’t realize he was intentionally hanging around Beth’s locker to scout out her secret admirer until he caught them in the act. 

 He straightened up from his slouched position against the wall across the drama room, taking in the uneven dirty blond haircut and letterman jacket worn by the person in question. 

At first, Rick figured the guy was at the wrong locker. He stood there rummaging into his gym bag for something. But then he produced a familiar folded paper and Rick realized this was the guy. Beth’s guy. It got very real. Beth had a guy. This guy wanted Beth. Liked her. He liked her and wrote stupid letters every day with things in it that actually made her want to like him back. And he had freckles and looked pretty short, and would probably make her laugh and would offer her his jacket to show her off to the dicks on the football team. 

Rick’s eyes narrowed, seizing him up. That was right, the guys on the football team were dicks. Beth’s secret admirer was friends with them?

 She wouldn’t take that well. 

 He looked new. Young, even. Not any of the faces he’d cataloged that tormented Yolanda over the last year and a half. Should he follow him? 

 Rick lurked. 

 The kid glanced around nervously, letter slotted in the hinges for the locker. How many days had it been? Two and a half weeks? How was this guy still skittish for sneaking around the school to send love letters to a girl? Wouldn’t he know one of these days he’d get caught?

Alright, Rick had two options. He could turn around and keep this to himself. Never say a word to anyone and let this guy and Beth work out whatever they have and just.... watch.

Or he could walk up there right now and get information. What the hell is your deal? Do you have a foot fetish? Are you another supervillain freak? How did you meet Beth? Why are your notes so uninspired? Do you even know her? Are you embarrassed that you’re into her? Why do you care?

Rick's legs marched him over, having made up his mind.

“Hey!” It came out harsher than he intended by the reaction of the football player. He yelped, backing up against the locker and widening his eyes at Rick. 

 “It’s not what it looks like, I swear!” This poor kid’s voice cracked. 

 Rick squinted at him. “Who the hell are you?” 

 “Huh?” 

 “Your name. Parents? Date of birth. Alien status?” 

 The kid didn’t say anything. Rick sighed, already regretting it but knowing he’d have to in order to speed this along. He slammed his fist against the nearby locker, cornering him. The kid looked properly terrified. At least it was something to know those Rick Harris rumors were still thriving. “Well?” 

 “Joe! Joseph Kindersef. Son of Harold and Shoan Kindersef. August 9th, 2006. Um, Non-alien?” 

 “Sounds like something an alien would say.” 

 “I swear I’m not an alien! I’m just a freshman!” 

 “If I back off, are you gonna run?”

 “I’m on the football team!” he yelled out as if that question was undignified.

  Rick rolled his eyes. “You’re fourteen years old. I don’t care what team you’re on. Are you gonna run?”

 “No.”

 Rick relented, pulling back to put some room between them. “So, you’re the one writing to Beth for the last few weeks?”

 “Yes, but—”

 Rick pulled a face. “She’s a bit old for you, don’t you think?”

 “Maybe, but—”

 “Beth really likes the letters, okay? She doesn’t need someone that’s too much of a coward to come up and talk to her. So pick it up and do something meaningful or leave her alone.” 

 Joseph squeaked. “I can’t.”

 “Okay so—She really likes yellow and cute shit so try sticky notes to include—“ Rick backtracked and paused. That didn’t sound normal. “What? You can’t? Yes, you can. You just have to find the guts to tell her who you are and ask her out so she can finally meet you so she can decide if you’re worth a—”

 “No!” Joe cut Rick off. “I can’t leave her alone!” 

 Rick’s stomach sank. Joe heaved, eyes blown back wide as he grimaced as if waiting to get yelled at again.

 But Rick lost the wind in his rant, lowering his voice to a shocked whisper. “What do you mean? You don’t…want to be Beth’s boyfriend?” 

 “No! I don’t really know her! I don’t get what the big deal is!”

 Rick nearly slammed him back against the metal row. “Then why are you leading her on?”

 “Oh my god!” He weaseled out of Rick’s grip, hands up in surrender. “I swear, I can explain! Just don’t beat me up, I get enough of that from the team!” He dropped his gym bag and kicked it, yanking off his letterman jacket. “God, I’m sick of this!”

 Rick was at a loss for words. He clenched his jaw, keeping his fuming to a minimum to give Joe a chance. Not that he deserved one, in Rick’s honest opinion, but Beth probably would’ve wanted to at least hear his case before Rick undoubtedly scared her only potential prospect of a boyfriend away with a piss stain in his pants. 

 He furrowed his brows. “Sick of what?” 

 “This!” Joe gestured at the floor. “Blue Valley High! The goddamn team!” 

 It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. The thought of it all made Rick sick to his stomach. Of course, in a twisted way it all made perfect sense. There was no villain here, only two victims. Raze the newbie recruit on the team and mercilessly bully the girl that raises her hand one too many times in class all at once. Force Joe to do the dirty work and laugh at Beth’s disappointment when her non-existent secret admirer gets shoved in her face. 

 Wonderful. Great plan for a group of football meatheads that barely even grieved Henry Jr’s death. Rick hated this school so much. 

 “Can’t you just stop?”

 “No!” Joe insisted. “I can’t, I would’ve if I could!” 

 “What are they doing to you?” 

 Rick knew the answer wasn’t going to be pleasant. He crossed his arms, eyebrows raised as he stared up at the ceiling while Joe lamented over the football hierarchy in disarray, wanting to make it past waterboy dweeb status, razing punishments incorporating the abandoned construction porta potty beyond the field parking lot, and the daily checks on Joe the team did to ensure he’s following their crazy rules.  

 “You know what I wanna say?” Rick told the guy when his sob story was over. “I wanna say that’s your problem.” Because after this and his last encounter with Sportsmaster Rick was very close to never watching any organized game in America ever again. 

 “It is my problem.” 

 “Actually, it’s not.” Rick scowled. “You’ve entangled Beth Chapel into this, so you’ve made it my problem.” 

 Joe stared at him. Rick muttered under his breath, dragging a hand over his face. For some reason he pictured Courtney. If she were here right now with him, Rick could perfectly imagine what she’d say: This was part of what it meant to be a superhero. You are a superhero now. 

 Rick knew this, theoretically, but thinking about that word in association to himself still felt beyond stupid. Stupid, but so painfully accurate by the way a feeling ate at his insides to help this pathetic freshman. Not just because of Beth. Rick had a magical hourglass and a skintight suit and belonged to a secret crime-fighting team. But it wasn’t just about crime, it was about injustice. And this fits that bill to a tee. 

 He flapped his hand at Joe before he could change his mind. “Go. I’ll take care of it.” 

 “Huh?” 

 “You don’t have to do this anymore.” 

 “But they check at lunch every day for the letters and there are still two and a half weeks left in the month—” 

 “I know!” Rick groaned just thinking about all the ways this was going to ruin his entire schedule. The sneaking and evasion. The random class cutting he’d have to pull off inconveniently now that Yolanda and Pat have drilled it into Rick that he needed to get a decent pass... 

 Joe stepped away, looking over his shoulder at the deserted hallway, unable to believe his newfound freedom. “You need to make it sound like you care or else they’ll get suspicious,” he stressed.

 “I get it.” Rick shooed him away. “Trust me. I get it.” 

 The anxious red splotches all over Joe’s face faded away. He sniffed, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his varsity jacket. “You really want to help me?”

 “Just tell me what I need to do to make this work.”

 He pulled out his dad’s notebook from his bag as Joe ranted about the nonsensical expectations the football team had of him, and what they had planned for Beth via public embarrassment by the end of the month. His dad’s handwriting blurred past as he clicked the top of his ballpoint to start on a fresh page, jotting it all down. He ended up with over a page and a half.  A page is more than he thought he’d need. It was excessive and tedious and stupid enough to put an end to today. He wouldn't, though, end it today. Because of one thing Rick knew for certain. He was going to one-up the Stockholm secret admirer deal Joe had going on. Two weeks of nice deeds weren’t completely out of his reach. 

 ~.~

 Rick stared at the blank word document in front of him, tucked into the furthest computer monitor desk at the very corner of the library. Sneaking in here was easy, though it was stressful enough to make Rick’s hands sweat. It was dumb, nobody questioned a student at the library over lunch. The tenth graders came in anxious packs to prepare for their PSATs, and the juniors freaked out over college pamphlets at the communal tables. Nobody would care that Rick Harris was hunched over a keyboard, glancing down at his lap to refer to an original letter for help. 

 Beth didn’t even notice Rick swiped a letter from her. Her locker door swung open while she chatted about the science homework and then the muffins she planned on making and then the recipe Barbara sent to her phone that she pinned on her Pinterest board. That Pinterest board was very important, something she’d curated since elementary school after her mom accidentally forgot to include a lunch for Beth, exhausted by the first surgery she’d operated on as the new head surgeon at Blue Valley Medical Centre. This was all new information Rick only learned from their walk to get her lunch box, so Beth’s talkativeness did have its advantages some days. Rick reached over and plucked a folded letter from the pristine metal basket right over her head to stuff in his back pocket. Even if she were ever tall enough to catch that, the muffin recipe had too many steps for her to list to ever let her take her eyes off her phone. 

 Rick stood firm in his belief that Joe’s letters were creepy and lame, regardless of how the creepy and lameness parts were now halfway excusable under Joe’s duress and whatever. Still, he couldn’t deny he needed one in his possession to study. At least as an example for formatting one correctly if he wanted to pull this off; the font and size had to be exactly the same. And, most importantly, the letter provided a base of comparison to work from to make the letters going forward less weird. 

 Rick knew Beth better. He could do so much better. And he should, anyway. There’s no harm done. He’s going to have to tell Beth at the end of the month what exactly happened to her secret admirer, so she’ll know Rick became the author somewhere along the line. He’d never be caught dead authoring notes that made it sound like he had a foot fetish or some other weirdness. And if Beth likes the letters more, Joe won’t get as much shit either. 

 So why wasn’t this working?

  Hey, Beth. 

 Rick stared at the screen. His eyes were dry, he needed to blink. A Hey, Beth wasn’t going to get anyone anywhere, and this letter had to be slotted through that locker rust a good half hour before the class that went into lunch.

  I just wanted to let you know how kind you are. I saw you today give away your extra hair elastic to the other girl in the hallway—

 No.

  Beth, 

Your laugh is out of this world. 

 Rick slammed his palm against the backspace button, the stiff keyboard jam startled the senior girl half-napping over her notes beside him. He deleted the word document altogether and started over. Nobody needed to see that. That sentence came out of nowhere. Forget that it was bad and sounded like Hallmark garbage, reading the words on the computer mortified him. Maybe it wasn’t out of limit to find Joe and force him here to do the actual writing himself. At least as a draft for Rick to work with. No wonder Joe’s letters came out awkward and stilted. But where would he even find Joe and was the answer something Rick even wanted to find out? 

 Rick didn’t like Beth like this. How was he going to write to make it seem like it could be implied that he did? This was fucking hard. 

 “Since when do you study?” 

 Rick crumpled Joe’s letter into his fist. He minimized the tab for the Word document. Yolanda’s braids swept over the built-in camera of Rick’s computer monitor, peering down at him with an eyebrow raised.

 “Since today.” He clicked on the school browser to type in one of the chemistry learning sites he went bleary-eyed scrolling through last semester late at night. 

 “When’s the test?”

 He shrugged. Her braids swung over his screen again. Rick shot her an exasperated high brow, flicking them away. 

 Yolanda shook her head at him and took the next seat. The binders she pulled out for her math assignment told Rick she wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. Fine. Rick put the letter on hold. It wasn’t something he wanted to rush anyway. 

 ~.~

  Beth, 

Your laugh is special. Because you can make anything sound great, and find laughter in everything. It’s what you do and who you are. I wouldn’t change that about you, ever. 

 Rick skipped the last ten minutes of class to get to Beth’s locker while the hallway was still empty. In slipped the letter. Out went his breath. 

 They were just words. Once he was able to wrap his head around that fact it got a lot easier. They were just words. Nice words. For Beth. It didn’t really matter if they were poetic or fancy. They were genuine, though, because Rick wasn’t going to lie on top of everything. But they weren’t in the sense Rick felt anything romantic for her. If Beth and the girls read it and felt otherwise, it was only because they were under a preconceived notion. One Rick would explain away when it is all over. 

 Above all, he was sparing her any humiliation by lifting her up and giving some nice compliments. It was a win-win situation. Once Rick was able to digest that, it got a lot easier to justify the emotional connection he teased out of himself to work the right sentiment he needed and had written down. 

  ~.~ 

 The problem was, sometimes letters didn’t cut it. Rick didn’t always have the right words. It was because he knew how Beth’s face brightened up when he wrote something right. She’d let out a breath that was almost a sigh, hugging the letter close. It would put her in a mood nothing could deter for the rest of the day. It’s what Rick noticed two weeks ago when these started, but it was all the better now, admittedly, when they came from him. She’d show them to her mom over FaceTime at lunch, to Barbara and Pat. Beth shared her secret admirer letter with anyone that had an extra second to spare.

  When Rick missed the mark, that was too obvious. Yolanda and Court never seemed to pick up the difference, and Beth never appeared dissatisfied, but Rick knew it wasn’t what she deserved.  

He’d tear out pages in his notebook before and after classes Rick took without her, practicing what he’ll type up by the time he gets to the school library. The pencil in his hand would tap against the paper as he ignored the lesson, thinking about how to best word how much it meant to him to see her turn around and flash him one of those breathless grins without giving himself away. He’d shred the paper after, stuffing it in the trash. The best parts Rick kept memorized to reuse the next day. 

 It took another three more neutral letters for Rick to change tactics. Instead of stressing over ways to tell Beth things he didn’t mean without revealing his identity, he found a way to work around keeping the secret admirer ploy alive while cutting out the amount of time he spent failing at writing. Small things he could afford like her favourite chocolate bars when he filled his car with gas at the station, or cheap bracelets from the dollar store to add when he wasn’t confident that he wrote enough. 

 He kneeled down in the wet grass by the bike rack behind the school on a Tuesday, weaving in the red and yellow roses he plucked from a nice garden a block down Main street through the handlebars of Beth’s teal bike. Beth was the type of girl to press flowers in books. She’d find the roses and would smell them and then keep them with the intention of saving them forever. 

When he managed to get the stem properly wrapped around her handlebars, he realized Beth forgot to lock in her bike properly. He fixed it, then leaned back, appraising his work. 

 He froze when he felt a warm breath against his neck. 

 “I didn’t know you were a part of the garden club.” 

 Rick dropped his hands to his sides, gritting his teeth through a polite nod at Isaac Bowin, who was peering over the bike rack in his pristine band clothes. “I’m not.” 

 “I see.” He scratched his nose. “That’s Beth’s bike.” 

 Rick eyed him. “I know.” 

 “That’s a nice gesture. I didn’t know you liked her.”

 “She’s my best friend.” Rick stood up and brushed the dirt from his pants. “It’s not like that.” 

 Isaac shrugged. “It looks like that.”  

 “Okay,” he replied lightly, rolling his eyes. Rick knew he was saving a high school freshman from being bullied by substituting his required secret admirer quotas because of his newfound moral superhero standards, but conversing with Isaac Bowin was something Rick hadn’t yet tolerated the patience for. He slipped his bag and walked around the side of the school building to go through the back. “Bye.” 

 Later that afternoon, Rick got tackled by Beth. He tensed as he always did when someone got a hold of him from behind, though he released the tension immediately when he looked up and saw her. 

 “I got flowers!” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders from his seat at their shared sixth-period class. 

 “Did you?” He replied, measuring his tone. 

 “Roses! They were on my bike. I wasn’t sure if I locked it properly this morning so I got a hall pass in geography and went to check, and they were there!” 

 “Wow,” he said. “That’s pretty thoughtful, right? Do you like them?” 

 “Are you kidding? The KitKat was great but the last time I ever got flowers was like, my fourth grade spelling bee from my mom!” Beth moved her hands from his back to slide into the seat beside him. “They’re so pretty. I love them!” 

 Rick glanced at her empty desk. She pulled out her school bag and pencil case. “So where are they?” 

 “They’re safe.” She hauled out the large math textbook and flipped to the middle, revealing the two roses, freshly pressed in. “I want to keep them forever.” 

 He knew it. Rick suppressed his grin. “Cool.” 

  ~.~ 

 “... You warm my heart, Beth.” Beth paused, taking it in. She looked dizzy. “Oh my goodness. This is a lot.” 

 “Stop. That’s stupidly cute.” Yolanda groaned as she ran a hand over her face as if the sweetness pained her. 

 “You’ve gotta write them back!” Courtney urged, taking a swig of juice. 

 Beth wrinkled her nose. “I dunno.” 

 “What! Why not?” 

 “I don’t want to scare them off?” Beth took her eyes off the letter at last, raising her head to meet Rick’s eyes. She straightened her back immediately. “Why are you smiling like that?”

 In spite of himself, it grew bigger. “Like what?”

 She didn’t reply for a moment. Her eyes squinted and she tilted her head as if to study him. “I can’t explain,” she said at last. “It’s just different.” 

 Yolanda and Courtney stopped talking to watch him too. Rick felt his face heat up at all of their attention. “Shut up. I’m being supportive,” he mumbled. “It’s what you wanted.” 

 ~.~ 

 The thing with Yolanda was that she didn’t fall for bullshit. Rick should’ve known. Books against the table with a slam, she leveled Rick a serious look of incredulity in their next class.  “Who are you and what did you do to my best friend Rick Tyler?”

 He stuck a hand in his pocket. Still grinning. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 “Says every suspicious clone, ever.”  

 “I’m not a clone.”

 “Then what are you, sick?” She poked his cheek at the stretched corners of his mouth. “You’ve smiled more in two days than I’ve ever seen you smile in three years and in art class you were zoned out completely.” Rick batted her hand away when she clapped a whole palm over his forehead.

 “I don’t have a fever.”

 “You’ve got something .”

 “I don’t,” he insisted again. “I’m fine.” 

 “Well I’m not an idiot,” Yolanda settled on as class started. “But whatever is going on, keep at it. It’s a good look on you.” 

  ~.~ 

  Three reasons why I’d date Beth Chapel 

  I’d be dating the smartest girl in school 

I could share the homemade food she brings for lunch

I’d see one of those perfect smiles & it would be just for me 

   ~.~ 

  Three reasons why Beth Chapel should date me 

  I’d let her sit shotgun in my car 

 She could talk to me all day about whatever she’d like and I’ll listen to it all 

She can stop wearing fuzzy sweaters to classes without heaters because I’d give her one of my jackets so she’ll stay warm 

I actually really like her

  “Ah shit,” Rick whispered harshly to himself at the computer monitor in the library. He buried his head in his hands, putting the computer to sleep. It was supposed to be generic. Nice enough that Beth would feel touched but not personalized enough that it could directly trace back to Rick. It was his ‘66 he was thinking about in the first sentence. Her effect on his mood was when she placed her arm on his during an imploring talk in the second. And the way Rick knew exactly which jacket he’d like to see her swallowed in with the pooling cuffs rolled up six times to reach her wrists for the third. And now that it was out in that 12 point font, Rick didn’t even want to delete it. 

 “Shit. Shit. Shit. I"m a fucking idiot.”

 He whacked the side of the iMac too hard to wake up the monitor and printed the thing before he could incriminate himself more by adding extra lines. The heat that crawled up his face was sign enough that this was bad, but he’d felt that same sickly warm feeling drop in his stomach sometime before his brain kicked in to realize what he’d done. He was supposed to be doing a favour for his best friend to not humiliate her unjustly by being her pseudo secret admirer.

 Not actually become Beth’s secret admirer. 

 The next morning, Rick waited until Beth raised her hand for a hall pass during their class before lunch. Their teacher handed over the laminated card for Beth to go to the bathroom. Rick counted five seconds then leaned over and dragged her backpack from the dusty classroom floor to his side. 

 She started keeping the letters she liked the most in the pocket folder of her agenda. Rick pulled them out, unfolding the papers as he read them over, eyes scanning over what he’d been writing to her, trying to find the moment in which his feelings for her morphed into something more. Rick felt stupid, reading back. 

 He never wanted to lie to Beth, so he hadn’t. 

 He couldn’t lie to himself either. This started before meeting Joseph. This started before the letters. Hell, it might’ve even started before the JSA ever stopped Project New America.

  A part of Rick wanted Beth all along.

 ~.~

That evening, Rick locked himself in his bedroom and wrote a long and frankly terribly written letter to get his feelings off his chest. Staying up all night to perfect it, he overslept halfway through the morning. He drove to school late and worried over how to get through the day. His entire schedule was thrown off and he needed to both find a way to get his letter in and survive seeing Beth that afternoon. Bad turned to worse when teachers chased after him to pile on detentions for skipping class after he’d just started to improve his attendance. 

 If he wanted to make this work he was going to need support. He needed Court. 

 The only time Rick found Courtney alone was during dodgeball in gym class. They were somehow the only ones left on their team. Courtney used handsprings and cartwheels to avoid the red rubber balls as though her gym mark should be the deciding factor of her Stargirl training success. Rick didn’t take it as seriously, but that’s exactly why he was still winning. He launched the ball to the other side, hitting Cameron Mahkent square in the face. 

 “Court, get Jenny out, and then we can free the rest.” 

 “Good plan.”

 Rick picked up another that ricocheted off the wall, missing both targets. “Hey, you know Beth’s letters?” 

 “Yeah?” Courtney hit Jenny, who yelped in her expensive tennis skirt, manicured hands protecting her face even though she got her hip instead. 

“They’re me.” Rick caught a ball and everyone came hollering back into the game. Courtney gaped at him, motionless in front of the red line. Rick tried to warn her when another ball came flying, but it bonked the side of her curly hair before Rick could push her out of the way, and then another ball assaulted Rick from the other side, disqualifying them both. 

 Rick explained it all once they got to the bench. The important parts, at least, without any of the messy stuff. Joe’s razing and the awkward excuses to use the library computer every day. 

 Courtney grinned so wide. “Shut up!” 

 Rick regretted telling her immediately. She shook his arm like she wanted to make a protein shake out of it. “Shut up! Stop! Are you kidding me? That’s so sweet!” She slapped her hands to her cheeks. “Oh my god. Oh my god! That’s why you’re smiling so much! You like her!” She gasped. “You love her?!”

 “Woah,” said Rick, grabbing her wrist to keep her from bouncing off the gym walls. If he wasn’t careful she’d text Pat this for his advice or something which would be horrifying. “I didn’t say anything like that.” 

 Courtney rolled her eyes, undeterred. “Okay okay okay but you totally are into her. Like a lot!!! A lot a lot, oh my god, Rick this is such big news! You’re falling for Beth!”

 “Oh my god,” Rick muttered to himself, wanting to disappear. “Court, if I say yes will you please be quiet?”

 Courtney squealed, dancing in her seat on the bench. “You didn’t deny it!”

 “Okay calm down.” 

 “Why are you telling me? Are you going to confess? Do you need help?” 

 “I need you to print out her letter for today and get it in her locker. I don’t have the time.” 

 Court clapped her hands and squealed. “Yes! Deal! Done!” 

 ~.~ 

 “You know what?” Beth layered on an extra woolly sweater over her already thick-fabric shirt. Just by looking at it Rick knew it was expensive and set off some type of fashion pattern-texture dichotomy scheme. Though, what mattered was how warm it made her after shivering all throughout their homeroom period. What mattered was how she clutched at her sleeves now, creating friction to sweep out the cold that seeped into her bones. The way she held herself in front of him and how she’d feel if Rick hugged her like that soft-spun sweater instead.  She pulled a sticky note out of her school bag’s front pocket and stuck it to her locker door then stepped away from it, nodding along for Rick to follow her down to their first class. “You’re right.” 

 “I’m right?” For his credit, Rick was cold too. The school heater conked out over the weekend and the weather was abnormally cold, even for their chilly Spring Nebraska. He shoved a hand in his pocket so he wouldn’t feel the joint pain settling into his bruised knuckles. 

 “You are.” 

 “About what?” 

 Beth half-spun on her heel, facing Rick in the thick of the school crowd. “My heart is in this. I need to know who my secret admirer is.” 

 The immediate nausea Rick got from that sentence nearly stopped him in his tracks. He couldn’t stop though, it would be suspicious and then Beth would know and then Rick very might well be sick. So he jerkily forced one foot in front of the other and swallowed the lump down his throat. “You...do?” 

 “We always find my letter after our fourth-period class right before lunch. So they have to be sending it out before then, right? If we both subsequently skip our third-period classes respectfully--” 

 “How does one skip class ‘respectfully?’” Rick used air quotes around the last word. 

 Beth elbowed his side lightly. “When a straight-A student like myself has love on the line!” 

 “ I’m not a straight-A.” 

 “Yeah, but you’ll be with me so I’ve got you covered.” She linked her arm in his. “It’s a buddy system. I posted a sticky note on my locker for my secret admirer to visit this morning!” 

 Oh no. Which meant Courtney was going to find it soon and pressure him to tell Beth too. God, no. 

 “And you need me there...why?” 

 Beth furrowed her brows, fidgeting with her rainbow necklace. “I haven’t completely ignored what you said to me this whole time. I don’t know who it really is. What if I put myself out there and they show up only to hurt me?” 

 “Beth, they won’t.” 

 “But what if you were right and it was the ISA, and they were waiting for me to lure them into a trap to kidnap me because they discovered I’m Dr. Mid-Nite without Chuck?”

 “Where was this support when I suggested this as an actual possibility four weeks ago and you all ignored it and called me an asshole?” He was teasing her, honestly, but it was wild to Rick he was finally hearing her address some of his previous legitimate concerns. What good was she doing bringing this up now if she already made up her mind?

 “We didn’t!” 

 “Yolanda did!” 

 “Yolanda doesn’t use that word.” 

 “She doesn’t need to say it! You’ve seen her glare, right? Yolanda could glare at you and brand you “ asshole ” just with her eyeballs.”

 “You are ridiculous.” Beth huffed out an indignant breath. “And I wasn’t ignoring it completely.” She tugged on his sleeve. “So you should come.” 

 “I swear you’re going to be fine by yourself. It’s just some person here that likes you. It’s not a criminal. No need to suit up.”

 “I want you there.” 

 He wavered at her pleading face, her big eyes hopeful sucking him into dangerous territory. “Fine,” he relented, dooming himself. “I’ll come.” 

~.~

 Courtney did not know how the printer at the library worked because she never used the computers at the library because she never came to the school library. Like. Since she moved here. She banged her hand against the table when she got prompted for her Blue Valley High School student account password to access her printing credits. Was she supposed to pay for that? She didn’t know. She promised Rick to get his letter delivered and he was counting on her so there wasn’t any time for messing this up. 

 “It’s just your initials and the last 3 numbers of your student ID card number.”  

A thousand butterflies let loose in her stomach at the tell-tale sound of her crush’s deep voice.

 “Cameron!” she greeted with a nervous laugh. “Hi! What are you doing here?” 

 “It’s the library.” 

 “Right!” She smacked her head. “Dumb me, of course. You must be studying.” 

 “Actually, I have an oral presentation after lunch and need to reprint my speaking notes. I spilled paint on my cue cards this morning. What are you working on?” 

 “Oh!” Courtney laughed it off. “It’s not important. Thanks for the login info!” 

 “No problem. Maybe we can see each other later after my grief counseling?” 

 Courtney nearly knocked the magic mouse off the surface of the table. “I’d love that!” 

 “Awesome, I’ll text you?”

“Great!” She waved as he turned around and sat down at the next computer. Courtney pulled up the tab she had with the word document of Rick’s letter to Beth and fawned over it, imagining herself in Beth’s shoes with Cameron. She printed it out and ambled over to the printing center while it was still warm. According to the school clock, which was probably ten minutes fast if it were anything like the other clocks in her classrooms, she had twenty minutes to find Beth’s locker and get it in securely without being seen. Courtney packed her bag and folded the sheet in three like Beth had been getting since the beginning of March, sticking it between her teeth as she got that bag over her shoulders. 

 “Court.” 

 She twirled around at the tap on her shoulder, not expecting to find Cameron waiting for her with a grim look on his face. “Huh?” She removed the paper and crinkled her eyes at him. “Hey!” 

 “Hi,” Cameron said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I think my essay got mixed up with your uh….letter…” 

 “What?” Courtney checked Rick’s letter in her hand. “No! This is um, uh it’s ‘ The Republic of Marino is a small country in the region of--’ oooooooh crap.” 

 Courtney snatched it from him, giving herself a papercut in the process as she swapped sheets, mind racing when she put two and two together. Oh no. Oh no oh no. The blood drained from her face. 

 “That’s not mine!” she yelped.

 The librarian barked at them both from across the room as Cameron blinked at her with a complicated expression. 

 “I mean!” Courtney added in more quietly but equally harried, hissing at the stinging from her thumb. She sucked at the blood that trickled down her palm. “I printed it obviously! Because we were here and I was at the printer and you were at the printer and I wrote it!” She was going to get blood on Beth’s love letter and make her think that she’s being stalked by an ax murderer or The Gambler’s personal hitman. “These words aren’t from me ,” she stressed. “I didn’t say these things!” 

 Dang it, this was bad. He wasn’t going to draw her flowers anymore or cute stars passed in notes during their shared homeroom. She continued to ramble when Cameron didn’t say anything. “Actually!” She wiped her palm on her jeans and returned it. “It’s for you!” 

 Cameron maintained cool and collected when he pointed at the opening address, becoming amused. “It says ‘ Dear Beth ’” 

“Does it!? Typo!” 

“Look, I don’t blame you for developing a crush on a close friend. It happens, you don’t have to explain it to me.” 

“But!” 

Cameron backed away. “I’m gonna go.” 

 ~.~ 

 Rick let Beth drag him out of class so they could meet up with her secret admirer in the empty hallway at her locker knowing this wasn’t going to end well. 

 Beth tapped at the yellow sticky note on her locker that had the details of her rendezvous. 

 “What happens if he doesn’t show up?” Rick crossed his arms awkwardly when Beth turned around to look at him. “If they don’t show up.” 

He should’ve noticed the second that he saw Beth that this had been her plan since she got out of bed. She was wearing a dress and tights that perfectly so matched her colour, it took a second glance to confirm it adhered to the no dress on skin school dress code. 

 Her hair had clips in them too, a moon clip that parted the left side of her afro in a way that let it drop slightly over her face like her mom’s weave. It was beautiful and she looked beautiful and Rick got stuck in those thoughts all over again when she slid down the lockers to wait, drawing up her knees. 

 “They will.” She patted on the dusty ground for him to sit. 

 “You’re not going to check your locker first?” 

 “You want me to?” 

“Do you want to?” Rick countered. 

 Beth scrunched up her face at him. “I asked first.” 

 His face warmed and he finally sat down across from her. “Usually you rush to it, that's all.” 

She stretched out her legs, pulling at the hem of her dress. “It’s not going to matter what was written in whatever they put in my locker when I get to see who they are. Meeting them in person will be more exciting.” 

 Bold words to say to her secret admirer, sitting right in front of her. Rick sighed and stretched out too. He drew up one leg, the other bent at the knee. “What if they’re really ugly?” 

Beth rolled her eyes. 

 “Just asking. You can like someone’s sentiments but not their face.” 

 “I’m going to like their face,” she reassured him. “Even if I’ll have to learn to.” 

 “Okay,” Rick drawled. He was hoping if he extended the talk long enough, Beth would grow bored and give up. Just because the secret admirer won’t show up today doesn’t mean that they did so with ill-intent. Rick tried to remind Beth of this as they sat around alone. The secret admirer could’ve got swept up in a test in class or had an early dismissal. Beth wouldn’t know the difference. Rick wasn’t hurting her by playing along. 

 When an hour passed and Rick saw how determined she was to stick this through, the internal panic ramped up.

 Of course, the thought came to him that he should come clean. It’s just that. That meant Rick would have to come clean . He hated that Courtney was right to laugh at him over this. It freaked him out to just blurt out the truth. It would take Beth by surprise. Rick hadn’t planned yet how he was going to wind the secret admirer thing down to prepare her about it all. He thought she’d get to read his letter today to gauge how she’d feel. 

 He stared up at the ceiling thinking through five hundred strategy plans to get out of this mess while untangling the secret as Beth played a game on her phone. 

 “Soooo,” Beth said some while later. “Are we going to be waiting another hour or…” 

 Rick jerked up, saucer-eyed and mouth agape. His brain short-circuited.

 “Because we can take all the time you need, Rick.” 

 “You knew?” He banged his head against the metal behind him. She didn’t need a supercomputer to figure out Rick liked her before Rick figured out he liked her, did she? “Of course you knew,” he muttered to himself. The shock wore off as the embarrassment settled in, his face flushing as bright confirmation. A massive shot of adrenaline flooded through him, similar to the rush of his hourglass. 

“I pieced it together a few days ago,” she admitted. “I don’t think you realize how much lighter you are now.” Beth picked herself up and crossed the hall to sit by his side. Her hand went to his right knee and she leaned forward. “Rick, it’s okay. It’s okay to like me.” 

 The words clogged up in Rick’s throat as she spoke softly, overwhelmed. He wanted to explain everything but it was complicated and delicate and if she’d only read his freakin letter trapped in that locker maybe he’d have a chance to get her to understand- 

“Oh my god, you’re really nervous.” She lifted her hand up to give him room. “Rick, it’s just me. I like you too, I’m just a bit confused about how this all makes sense.” 

 “I didn’t know,” he managed out, stilted. “I really didn’t know.” 

 “Didn’t know what?” 

 “I’m not your real secret admirer.” Rick corrected himself. “I wasn’t your first.” 

 “Okay…” 

“There were those weird letters at first. The random ones. And I didn’t understand why they got under my skin so much. But they did. So I found the guy who was making them and I-" 

 "Really," Beth deadpanned.

 "I know, I know." Rick scowled. "I found out it was that they were being forced to.” 

 Sourness etched over her mouth as it pulled her lips thin together. “Oh.” 

 “And I wanted it to quit but by then it was involving the bullying of that other guy, not just you.” Rick sighed. “So I took over to help.” 

 “Rick.” 

 “I just didn’t want you to get crushed!” he told her, going into more detail about Joseph and the football team. “I was going to explain when it was all over what happened, and you were going to laugh it off and thank me and then I would’ve shrugged that off because it was whatever. It was the right thing to do.”  

 “But?” 

 Rick rolled his eyes at himself. “But I liked what I was doing too much for it to be normal.” He raised his head to give her a crooked smile. “I like you. ” 

 “You are so ridiculous,” she giggled out. She stood up and leisurely made her way to the locker. “So you have this important letter in here for me that you want me to read?” She toyed with her combination lock. “What’s in it?” 

 “Uh. A mess?” 

 “I’ll keep it for later then,” she decided and grabbed his hand. He stood up and followed her, hyper-aware of the way she led him away with her hand in his. “Come on, we have something we need to do.” 

 She brought him to the school library, which Rick did not understand. She sat him down at a macbook and darted in to kiss his cheek. Rick stuttered, lightheaded as she booted up his computer. 

 “Uh- What exactly are we doing?” 

 “Writing.” She tapped on his keyboard and moved his still hands over them with an exciting squeeze. “There are four more days left in the month and I don’t know about you but I’d really rather spend our free periods and after school with you on a date.”

 "That is...a really good idea." 

 She glanced up from their screen to find Cameron watching them oddly. 

 Beth awkwardly waved. 

 “Why is he looking at us like that?” 

 “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Rick put his arm around her, ignoring everyone else. He leaned forward to steal her move, gently kissing away her curiosity. 

 Beth grinned and leaned her head against his shoulder as he typed lines and lines of compliments. “Then I don’t care either.”

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

I asked my dad how to pronounce Didymos and he gave me the Greek–accurate pronunciation (which is something like di-du-moss but the middle u does the thing where you purse your lips a whole lot) and I nearly fell over laughing because OF COURSE ASTOR WOULD INSIST PEOPLE USE THAT RIDICULOUSLY HARD PRONUNCIATION, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY HE'S ONLY REFERRED TO BY HIS SURNAME IN THE FIRST PLACE

Actually I have a lot of thoughts about Astor’s name and I shall be taking your wonderful ask as an excuse to talk about it.

Spoilers below if you haven’t caught up on hku yet, mainly dealing with the afters of the Digging In and Sinking Arc

So you might have noticed that I put a lot of emphasis on people’s “true” name. Arcadius/Larc, Assivus/Asivus/Siv, Zelda/Mallory, and much more, including the ever elusive Calamity Ganon/???, who’s true nature, and therefore name, has not been officially showcased.

My emphasis on names pretty much all started with Astor and the idea of onomancy—the magic/divination/power that comes from a true name.

Although mostly this started because I thought Astor was a really stupid first name when by all accounts I’ve only ever heard it as a last name. But I digress

For the sake of my interpretation, a “true name” is equivalent to a characters true nature, which means that a characters birth name might not necessarily be their “true” name. For example, “Link” is definitely not Larc’s true name as being a vessel es hero was never meant to be his destiny not nature.

“Mallory,” surprisingly, is more attuned to who Zelda is as a character, even though it actually means “bad luck.” While “Zelda,” in a similar fashion to “Link” is tuer to a broader idea of general greatness and destiny, the name Mallory is closely tied with her mother and her mother’s love(for ducks) and innocence and hope for her daughter. Mallorys name is a true teller of her destiny, but also a way that informs her ultimate flaw and journey—her life is full of negativity, and yet she is expected to be a powerful symbol of hope. Can she actually do that, or will she dive into something darker and deeper?

But back to Astor, as the original guy that I gave a “true name” to, I spent the most time researching it. Didymos, is the name of an asteroid. Specifically, it is the closest asteroid to earth. Insert analysis about Astor being a magical seer who’s job is to look to the stars, and yet is constantly pulled down by the haunting of earthly turmoil here.

However the name “Didymos” itself also means twin, double, or two, a reference to the fact that while the Calamity always reiterates that they “chose Asivus first,” he settled with Astor as his second choice after Siv initially refused. Didym(meaning, double) and os(meaning, to have)

Now, the name Didymos is pronounced as di-dEE-mos, the purses lips “du” like you said. This is because the prefix that gives the name its “double” meaning (ha see what I did there) is the Greek prefix, Didym—. The suffix giving the two name variants, Didymos and Didymus.

Now I actually was going to make the spelling of his name “Didymus” as it would be a direct reference to the apostle Thomas, literally known as “Doubting Thomas” and “Didymus the Blind.” In fact the original intention with Astor’s name was to allude to biblical depictions of apostles and prophets who made severe mistakes in life. I mean, I even made Astor’s middle name “Amanon,” an altered reference to a certain character in the Bible who was murdered by their half brother

However, I went with the “Didymos” spelling varient because of the importance of the Greek suffix -os. The -os is the suffix used to determine the subject of the sentence, while other suffixes such as -us depict the acting part of a sentence. (This is because Greek words did not place important on word order to get information across. The dog bit the cat, and the cat bit the dog have two different meanings. However, in Greek, those two sentences would both mean “the dog bit the cat” unless you specify the subject -os suffix for the word “cat”)

Thus I preferred to go with Didymos given that I do not see Astor as a character who goes out of their way to act, but rather arrogant in their idea of being the “subject” of the sentence, and having fate act accordingly to his fortunes.

HOWEVER, that is the analysis of his birth name, the given pronunciation of “Didymos.” It is pronounce in a rough two syllable Didy-mos and means “to have double.” His name is the cemented foreshadowing of his role as second to the Calamity, and the Calamity’s second choice of servant.

But Astor prefers the prononciation Di-die-mus, the pronouncing of the “dy” as “die” forcing the -os suffix to change to a -us. And the didym- suffix destroying the original meaning of the word. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So obviously, Astor is embarrassed about his name, because in paper, if you see the word “Didymos” there is a very high chance you’re doing to read it like didy-mos and be calling him some very amusing nicknames including Didy, Didy-Bidy, and of course, Tiddymos, because we are mature. Thus comes the very understandable transformation into Di-dy-mos, mostly because Astor is emo and like the fact that “die” is now pronounced in his name.

But there is also a very intentional breakage if the word’s meaning with this new prononciation, as is does not follow the prefix prononciation for Didym—. This means that with this pronunciation, the “twin/double” meaning of his name no longer exists, which therefore means his tie as Ganon’s second/Siv’s copy no longer exists. In fact it literally cancels out, as both the fixes of “Di” and “Dy” mean two, but when both used in the context of one word, are then void of their identities meanings since Greek language didn’t allow for adjacent syllables to both have noun meanings, so they must cancel out.

In addition, the new prononciation of the “dy” tends to lead the tongue towards an -us suffix, rather than -os. This would then mean that Astor’s name is no longer be in sentence subject, but rather in sentence acting.

Therefore, to summarize, the entire meaning of Astor’s name is entirely dependent on its pronunciation. Unlike all the other characters, who’s fates and journées can be identified by their true name, Astor’s is a contradiction, it is two things, and you cannot be sure which it is. Yes it is alluding to his connections with Ganon, but does Astor’s personal pronouncing allude to a fate that is entirely different?

You cannot know his destiny from name alone. You cannot predict it, much like how Astor struggles with his predictions, even thought one side obviously looks more probable than the other. It’s too much of a hassle to analyze. It’s too much of a hassle to correct people’s prononciation. Its too much of a hassle to pretentiously pronounce that “dy” for you all. Just like how it’s too much stress to constantly hope for better futures when the clearest one laid out before him is most probable.

So we settle, for Astor.

And Astor settles, for the barest minimum.

[iatethepomegranate]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences (for now)

Relationship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Summary: After Aeor, Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha. For the first time in more than seventeen years, he has some semblance of stability. Caleb is not sure he's ready to handle it, but he's trying, and his friends are eager to see him live a good life, by force if necessary.

And then Soltryce Academy approaches him with a job offer, which could give Caleb the chance to protect the next generation of wizards the way he had needed at their age. Caleb's goal of preventing what happened to him from happening to anyone else, however, takes a far more personal turn than even he could have anticipated.

(In other words, here is a fic about Caleb settling down and learning how to be a person again. Also Professor Widogast will be a thing. Fic title is a lyric from I Have Made Mistakes by the Oh Hellos. Chapter title is a lyric from Mind by Sleeping At Last. More detailed tagging and notes are available on AO3.)

_____

Chapter 1: It's the first brush stroke of a self-portrait

Caleb had mixed feelings returning to Rexxentrum after spending so long in Aeor… and everywhere else he had been, including a fucking flesh city in the Astral Sea. Sure, he had popped back to Rexxentrum regularly to update the Cobalt Soul on his discoveries, and to testify at Trent’s trial, during the conclusion of which he had the satisfaction of turning down Da’leth’s offer to assume Trent’s position as the Archmage of Civil Influence. But now he was back on a more permanent basis.

He didn’t know what to do with that information. With this place, that was both so familiar and so foreign. Full of some of his best memories, and some of his worst.

Caleb had spent so long avoiding this place, or at least the challenging parts of it, and now Beauregard was dragging him and Yasha down the street, infodumping about a house she wanted the three of them to buy together.

“Caleb, don’t give me that look,” she said. “You’re gonna love this place. I know you like your space, dude, and this is the best of both worlds. It’s technically two houses, but there’s, like, a door between them so we can visit each other. Because you’re a fucking genius but you also forget to feed yourself.”

Yasha smiled at Caleb over Beau’s head. “She’s not wrong, Caleb.” Her soft tone made Caleb a little emotional, but he categorically refused to start crying in the street. “I like my space, too. This is a good balance. And there’s room for a garden.”

“Yasha’s not an Empire citizen,” said Beau. “It looks better if there’s two of us Empire kids on the deed so no one thinks any weird shit about her.”

Caleb sighed at her. “I will look at the house, Beauregard.”

Beau yanked them around the street corner. “It’s a great location. You can walk anywhere. I can get to the Archive, and you can get to the Academy.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“Maybe. Astrid says hi.”

The implication that Astrid and Beauregard had been speaking to each other recently was of concern. Caleb was too tired to unpack it. He would find out what that was about eventually. It was not worth Beauregard’s sibling-level mockery if he tried to extract the information early.

“Oh, and Veth sent you this,” said Yasha, passing a wrapped package over Beau’s head.

“Yeah, I might’ve told her we’re buying a house together,” said Beau. “She made Yussa send that to the Soul so I could grab it for you.”

Caleb didn’t open the package, but he did shake and squeeze it a little. It felt like coins. A lot of coins. Oh, Veth. Still taking care of him from miles upon miles away. They’d both come so far from Veth sneaking coins into his pockets because he had felt strange about taking her money even when he desperately needed it.

“Danke,” he said softly. That was all he could say, before he risked bursting into tears again. That was happening to him a lot lately. It… wasn’t the worst thing. More of an inconvenience. He chose not to unpack it.

Beauregard was looking at him strangely. He elbowed her. It probably hurt his elbow more than it hurt her, but she was successfully distracted from his bullshit. She punched his arm. Even holding back like she did, his arm did go numb for a few seconds.

Yasha sighed. “Children, we’re almost there.”

Caleb had been down this street before. Rarely, as it was entirely residential. But sometimes he, Astrid and Eadwulf would explore the city to find excuses to get away from the Academy, especially after they had commenced their training with Trent. But, with Caleb’s memory, he could call upon the map he had drawn in his mind. This was a middle-income area on the southern edge of The Tangles, home to mostly professionals--well-off storeowners, any researchers who did not live in the Shimmer Ward or have access to quarters with the Cobalt Soul, some teachers, architects. Largely people looking to settle down with the money to stay out of the Mudtop Ward.

It was close to the Shimmer Ward, a little southwest from the gate, but not so close that Caleb felt an itch on the back of his neck. The Tangles were the oldest part of the city, with narrow looping streets with little logic to them. This area was slightly newer than most of The Tangles, but still old. Regardless, The Tangles were fairly central to the city and an easy starting point for any travel. If you didn’t get lost on the way out.

This far south in the area, the houses were a little more spaced out. A little more green space, more gardens. Duplex-style houses were common, mostly built of old stone or lumpy brick on the first floor and clay bolstered by wooden frames above that. Children were out in force, running and screaming through the narrow streets while their parents watched from the porch of their homes. Well, for those who had porches.

“There she is,” said Beauregard. They had stopped in front of another duplex-style building, newer than some of the others but still respectable in age. The first floor was made from dark reddish brick and the upper two floors panelled with dark wood to bolster the white clay walls. The first two floors were full in width, and the third consisted of two dormers peeking through the darkly thatched roof.

There were two entrance doors on the ground floor, each spaced a third of the house’s width from the outer corners. The rectangular windows were framed in white-painted wood, dividing the glass on each window into six little squares.

Before the three of them was a low wooden fence, also painted white. The paint was chipping a little, revealing the deep brown heartwood that Caleb suspected was oak. There were a number of oak trees in the Pearlbow Wilderness. Caleb had slept under them several times in worse days. Oak was rather expensive, if he remembered correctly. He usually remembered correctly.

“She’s pretty hot, right, Caleb?” Beau said, snapping out of his hyperfocus on the history of timber in the Zemni Fields.

“Oh… ja.”

“Cool, so the owner will be here in a few minutes to let us in so we can have a look. She wants to sell the place as a package deal.”

Caleb had, in some ways, trained himself out of being too attached to places or most material things (with a few exceptions such as his spell components, spellbook, and the letters he had written to his parents). Unless there was something horrifically wrong inside, he didn’t care where Beauregard and Yasha wanted to live. It was practical that they live together, after all. Caleb had healed immensely this past year, but he was self-aware enough to understand he probably shouldn’t live alone. Of the Nein, Beauregard knew how to call him on his bullshit and Yasha understood him pretty well and knew he needed space sometimes, so it was a reasonable arrangement.

��I am really not picky, Beauregard.”

“Yeah, because you still don’t care enough about yourself to give a fuck about this. We know.” Beauregard looped her arm around his neck, dragging him down to her level so she could rub her knuckles across his scalp, ruining the two narrow braids Essek had worked from Caleb’s hairline to his messy ponytail that morning before they had parted ways beside the secret entrance to Aeor. Caleb talked himself out of getting upset with Beauregard over it. She couldn’t have known, and she was being affectionate like he really was her brother.

Once he was free, Yasha fixed the braids, and Caleb had to stop himself from crying again because she had noticed it bothered him and just… fixed it without making it a thing. Beau straightened her expositor’s garb, clearing her throat.

“Sorry, dude.”

Caleb conjured a mage hand to tug on her ponytail. Beau swatted at it, but her hand went right through it. She gave him the finger. Yasha finished fixing the braids. Everything was normal again.

The owner, a half-elf woman with long blonde hair coiled into a bun that looked like a cinnamon scroll, arrived and immediately shook Caleb’s hand.

“Mr Widogast, a pleasure. These ladies have told me a lot about you. My name is Alphira Winterheart. I teach evocation at the Soltryce Academy.”

Caleb still felt a spike of anxiety when he heard the name of that place. At this point it was ingrained, even if he held out a small amount of hope he would get to teach there one day. It would be easier to fight corruption if he had some say over what the Academy put into those children’s heads.

“A pleasure,” Caleb replied, a little flatter than he had intended. He mentally shook himself, remembering to actually grip her hand for a proper handshake. “Evocation? I used to specialise in that area.”

“Ja, Ms Lionett told me you are now a Transmutation specialist but still frequently partake in the Evocation school in your travels. I’m glad to hear you intend to put down roots here in Rexxentrum. I would love to exchange theories over coffee.”

Beauregard smirked. Caleb remembered a conversation with Essek where they had agreed to return to Aeor and exchange theories. They had meant that literally. But it had indeed sounded like a euphemism to someone like Beauregard. Well, she hadn’t been wrong in the end, but certainly the intent at the time had been more about a meeting of minds than a meeting of…

Caleb concentrated on the conversation in front of him instead.

“Ja, I would enjoy that,” he replied. “What level of Evocation do you teach?”

“Oh, I teach the beginners.”

“And you live here in the Tangles?”

“I did,” said Alphira. “Archmage Beck has offered me lodging on her estate, so I am selling this house. It was always a little large for one person, and it seems you three could make better use of it than I did.” She leaned closer to Caleb, as if to tell him a secret. “The place on the left is where I prefer to experiment and study. I would recommend you look at that one in particular. The dormer is slightly larger. You could even put a teleportation circle up there if you were so inclined, given your need to travel.”

“Danke.” Caleb still felt a little weird about Rexxentrum mages not wanting to kill him, but he didn’t sense any untoward motives from this woman. She seemed genuinely friendly. “How… is the new Archmage settling in?”

“I have no complaints. She seems competent, if a little terrifying. I am uncertain if that is her past as a Volstrucker, or a necessity of the job. She has been nothing but kind to me, and I would certainly prefer to be her friend than her enemy.”

“Ja, we are familiar with her,” said Caleb.

“Caleb most of all,” said Yasha.

Beauregard had to turn away before she burst out laughing.

“We should look at the house,” Caleb said before the conversation could go anywhere strange. Gods, he missed Aeor already.

Alphira unlocked both front doors. They checked the one on the right first.

“This one has a larger living area,” said Alphira, leading them through the entrance. “I am offering the furniture as part of the sale. I have already taken everything I need.”

Beauregard threw herself onto the large couch in the centre of the room. “Yasha and I call dibs on this side of the house. Since you’re gonna spend so much time here with us anyway. We’re taking the larger living area.”

“Beauregard, we have already established that I do not mind.”

The floor underfoot was a pleasant hardwood, probably more oak, and a large rug occupied much of the space. They would have to purchase candles for the evening, but it was well-lit during the day. Caleb followed the women through each of the rooms on the ground floor on this side, largely going through the motions. The kitchen was equally large, and had a good oven for Yasha to practice baking. They would need to purchase a larger dining table.

There was one large bedroom upstairs and two smaller ones, alongside private areas for bathing and other such activities. This was where they found the door between the two houses. The top floor dormer was full of assorted furniture and household items Alphira didn’t need, but they would likely use. Beauregard and Yasha discussed the possibility of turning this into another bedroom for when they had friends over. Or perhaps converting one of the lower bedrooms into a workout space and using this as a replacement. Caleb did not need to contribute much to the conversation, aside from promising he would help move furniture with telekinesis.

Truth be told, Caleb was having a hard time concentrating on the whole thing. He hadn’t really had a home in a long time, and he could not wrangle his mind into understanding the change. The Xhorhaus had been easier to stomach, as nobody had expected to live there forever. But this? Putting down roots? Real , long-term roots?

Maybe Caleb had been homeless for too long. It was beyond his comprehension at this point. And maybe it frightened him a little. He could not afford to inspect those feelings, not right now.

He pulled himself together in time to inspect the other side of the building. His side. His house. Scheisse .

The living area was a little smaller, but could still easily welcome the Nein (just in rather cosy quarters). The kitchen, also smaller but still respectable--a little larger than his childhood home in Blumenthal. There was less furniture on this side; Alphira had evidently used this side more and therefore had more furniture to take. There were two bedrooms on the second floor, one slightly larger than the other. Caleb found himself thinking that he would probably take the larger one just so there was enough room when Essek was over, or maybe he would take the smaller one so Veth could bring her family with her. Fuck. He didn’t know what to do.

And then they visited the dormer. It was indeed larger than the other one. There was a table in front of the window, with a few dark ink stains, and plenty of floorspace to spread out notes or create a teleportation circle. A few chairs were stacked in the corner, seemingly in good condition, and one wall was lined with empty shelves.

Caleb had always been partial to a tower, and this was pretty close. It would make a great study.

He was genuinely excited over a house. In Rexxentrum. A short journey from where his childhood home once stood. He was going to hyperventilate if he thought about this too hard.

“There are already plenty of shelves in my new house,” Alphira said. “These are all yours.”

Caleb nodded slowly, pulling his mind back into his skull. “Wundervoll, danke.” He took a calming breath. “This is a nice place, Professor.”

Alphira smiled. “Yes, I did not make nearly enough use out of it. But I hear you three have a lot of friends from out of town.”

“Ja, we do not see them enough.”

“Perhaps you will see them more once you have a place to welcome them.” Alphira led them back downstairs, and into the other side of the house where they could sit around the small dining table. Alphira already had the paperwork they needed to sign; Caleb got the impression Beau and Yasha had already decided to buy the house before they spoke to him about it. He was glad the decision was out of his hands.

He signed the paperwork, using both his legal name and the name he now wore (Alphira had apparently been briefed on this, and had consulted a contract lawyer on how to make it work on a binding document). Caleb had needed to sign various statements as part of Trent’s trial, so signing in Bren’s name was not as strange as he feared it would be. He was relieved. Beau and Yasha had insisted on finding a way that his new name would also be included, given he had not gone through any legal name-change process. The money Veth gave him more than covered his part of the cost. He needed to hug her. He needed to hug all of them.

Alphira gave them three copies of the contract and handed over the deed to the property. “I will head to the housing authority and file the paperwork immediately.” She slid the keys over the table to them. “Congratulations on your new home.”

She left. Caleb traced the shapes of the letters on his copy of the contract, over and over, letting reality sink in. He had a house. A house in Rexxentrum. A house in Rexxentrum with two of his best friends. It wasn’t at all what he imagined he would have when he was seventeen, when he thought he and Astrid and Wulf would one day have done their duty for the empire and settled down together.

But this was good. This was right .

He cried. Yasha was probably crying, too, but he couldn't see. The three of them hugged across the table, the edges jabbing their ribs.

[lost-in-fanfic]

The Woman - Thomas Shelby x reader (Part 2)

A/N: So here is part 2, I hope you all enjoy it. Part 1 link below. Not my Gif and please don’t steal my work :)

Warnings: Mention of killing, quiet a bit of bad language. 

A brief summary: After receiving a mysterious note, Tommy is about to meet with the woman hired to kill him. 

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Word Count: 2538

“This is fucking mental Tommy!” Arthur shouted for the tenth time that morning. After Tommy had run out of The Garrison last night without warning Polly had demanded to see the note. He had consequently spent the rest of the night, and now this morning stood in the kitchen at Watery Lane being told he was making a stupid mistake. Gripping the back of the chair, Tommy let out an exasperated sigh, his patience was wearing thin and it was time he headed to his meeting. He had been to meetings with people who wanted to kill him before, but normally he manged to get the business done without any of the others realising what he was up to. “Thomas,” Polly was leaning against the fireplace looking at her nephew, his eyes staring down at the floor, “when you get a note, from someone who won’t even give their name, saying they have been hired to kill you, it isn’t generally a good idea to go and sit down for a cosy chat. At least let Arthur and John hide in the backroom.” She was just as tired of arguing as Tommy. Tired of watching him seek out ways to find danger, it came easily enough in their lives, why did he have to always hold the door open for it? Finally, he looked up at her, then Tommy straightened up as he pulled his peaky cap onto his head, fastened his coat, and moved to the door. “Today is going to be a busy day here. Arthur and John, keep an eye on the bets and don’t forget to watch Sam Guest, he’s won a fucking lot recently and no one gets that lucky on a fixed race. Polly it’s safe count day.” He opened the door and stepped onto the street just before he closed the door behind him, he turned back and said, “and if any of you set foot in The Garrison this morning, I will shoot you myself.” With that he slammed the door and headed up the road.

Tommy pulled out his keys, finding the correct one for the back door of The Garrison knowing that the front door would still be bolted from the inside this time of day, however as he drew closer to the pub, he could see the front door wasn’t locked at all. In fact, it stood ever so slightly open with no sign of damage to suggest it had been forced. Tommy took his gun from its holster and held it up as he slowly pushed open the door, just for a second he pictured the ambush he was about to walk into and thought to himself he should probably have brought John and Arthur after all.

(Y/N) had arrived early that morning, keen to be as prepared as always. She had made a note of the heavy sliding bolts on the front door the night before, and when a small argument had broken out earlier in the night and distracted the barman, she had taken the opportunity to check exactly where the back door was and find out just how easy that lock would be to pick. This should be a day like any other in her life, but that morning she had found herself strangely nervous to meet with Tommy and regretted her rash decision to arrange a face-to-face meeting.  In her career she had developed a policy of never giving out her name and only met with people face to face on rare occasions. The only time she had broken this rule was with people she was certain would not be a threat to her in the future, such as grateful targets that she decided to let live or the odd desperate housewife. Tommy Shelby was definitely not desperate and could very possibly be the biggest danger to her future she had ever faced, yet here she sat waiting for him.

When he entered the pub the last thing Tommy had truly expected was one woman, sat on her own at a table in the middle of the room. She had moved the other chairs away from it so there was just one for her and one for him. Leant back smoking she looking as relaxed as if she owned the place and he were walking into her territory, not the other way around. This woman, however, could not have stood out more against the grey of Small Heath. Her hair was shinning in the light coming through the dusty windows, each strand perfectly in place, her bright green dress fitted each part of her body perfectly and was so stylish she would have looked more at home in one of Ada’s magazines than sat in The Garrison. Tommy was so taken aback he did not even realise he was still pointing his gun at her.

“I did promise not to kill you during this conversation Mr Shelby, I would appreciate it if you lowered your gun.” Her voice was like silk as it reached him and without really meaning to, he put his gun away, closing the door behind him. She motioned to the seat opposite her for him to sit down, but her initial spell over him seemed to weaken somewhat as he realised he was not accustomed to being offered a seat in his own pub. Instead, he walked over to the bar, leaning against it he took a cigarette from his case and rolled it over his lips before striking a match and lighting it. All the while never breaking eye contact with the woman before him. (Y/N) refused to let his stare cause her to back down, she looked straight back at him. Quickly though she realised how right she had been in thinking that meeting Tommy like this was a big risk, his eyes seemed to be seeing right into her, and she was fairly sure if one of them did not break the silence soon there was a very big chance her carefully built defences would crumble. Exhaling his first draw on his cigarette Tommy decided to take the opportunity to try and control the conversation. “Well, you know my name, seems only fair you should tell me yours.” His voice oozed with confidence and sent a thrill deep into (Y/N)’s core. “I’ll tell you what Mr Shelby, how about I ask what I need to know so I can make my decision and at the end of the conversation you can ask me any question you like, which I swear I will answer honestly. If knowing my name is still important then, I shall give you the truth. Alternatively, I could just give you a fake name now and we can go into this telling lies.” She matched his confidence with every word, putting out her cigarette as she finished, showing she was ready to get down to business.

Tommy couldn’t help but allow the smallest of smiles to tug at the corner of his mouth as he sat down opposite her unbuttoning his coat and motioning for her to continue. “As I said, I am here to decide if you deserve to die.” She began, “Almost certainly do.” Tommy’s answer cut across her, she wasn’t expecting him to speak yet, and would never have imagined that would be the answer he gave. Raising her eyebrow slightly she scanned his face, his jaw was set and eyes fixed, there was no hint that he was joking or even scared of the idea of dying.

“Mr Shelby, my client has hired me for a specific reason. I have several rules in my business and one of them is I will only carry out the contract if that reason is justified, regardless of whatever else maybe true of the person.” She paused as Tommy flicked his ash into the tray, his face was expressionless, but there was something in his eyes. (Y/N) was convinced that she had never seen a more crystal-clear blue in her life and although they seemed cold and calculating she had a gut feeling that if only she knew him better, they would be the only key to reading how he felt. Tommy said nothing, he had never been more intrigued by a woman so quickly and he wanted to ensure he paid attention to everything she said, after all this woman may yet try to kill him.

“I am here to get your side of the story, regarding Daniel Owen better known as Danny Whiz-Bang.” Whatever Tommy had been expecting her to say it certainly wasn’t that. (Y/N) noticed the way his eyes unwittingly widened in shock, once again she had surprised him putting him entirely on the back foot, she had always relished being in control of every situation and there was something even more intoxicating about having any sort of power over a man like Thomas Shelby.

The end of Tommy’s cigarette glowed as he inhaled deeply, taking the opportunity of a brief pause to get himself back in check. “Daniel Owens was killed by Billy Kimber. I killed Billy Kimber. End of story.” His voice was deep and controlled as he tried to reveal as little emotion as possible. (Y/N) leant forward slightly, the fact that he didn’t fully understand why she was here excited her. “I know that. My client is more interested in the fact he was there at all, after all you had already killed him yourself, hadn’t you?” Tommy decided enough was enough, putting out his cigarette he leant forward to match her, “who the fuck is your client?” his tone had changed it dripped with menace and power. “I told you Mr Shelby, I will answer one question at the end. Don’t worry,” she could see his eyes darkening, there were only so many times you could poke a stick at a dangerous animal before it attacked, and she felt she had pushed her luck far enough. “I only have one more question for you, why did you let Danny Whiz-Bang live?” her tone was different, she was no longer toying with him, vying for control, she genuinely wanted to know why he hadn’t just killed him. If Tommy were more of a fool, he would have thought she cared.

“Danny Whiz-bang didn’t kill that Italian, the monster that lived in the mud in his head did. He brought that monster back from France, he saved my life over there in that mud, so I killed the monster and sent Danny away so he could try and clean his head out.” It was the truth; he had known since they returned from France that Danny had no control at times. Tommy had brought his own monster back with him and the thought of what that monster could turn him into is what kept him fighting.

“Very well.” (Y/N) had listened to every word he had said, the honesty in his voice was clear. This time she found herself on the back foot, the truth concealed just the tiniest shred of vulnerability and that was something she had not expected to find. Over his shoulder she spotted two silhouettes, which she strongly suspected of belonging to his brothers, hovering by the door. “Thank you for meeting with me this morning Mr Shelby.” Standing up she slipped into her white coat and made towards the back room and the door she had come in through earlier. “Hang on,” said Tommy standing up as well, “you owe me a question remember? A deal is a deal.” His eyes were back to being their calm crystal blue, if there had been a moment in which he had been even close to vulnerable it had passed. There was, however, a slight tinge of desperation to keep her there in his voice which even Tommy wouldn’t have been able to explain. (Y/N) turned back to him and nodded. “What’s your name? I assume from your note it starts with W.” There were other more important questions he should probably ask, like if she was still going to try and kill him, but all he wanted to know was her name. (Y/N) couldn’t stop a small soft smile from forming and she bit her bottom lip to try and stop it. Every single part of her willed her to lie, or distract him, she couldn’t risk giving any part of herself to him. Not even her name was safe to give, but even the strongest woman can’t hold out fully under the gaze of those eyes. “I use the W for business. My name is (Y/N), oh and by the way I think your brothers are getting impatient.” She replied, nodding towards the door where Arthur and John were waiting. As Tommy turned to look, she silently slipped away, gone by the time he turned back.

He stood there stuck in silence for a moment, her name playing through his head like a song, as if she had placed him under a spell again. It was only a first name though and he felt cheated, he had clearly meant both names. Tommy Shelby did not like being cheated. He gathered himself together and then went out the front where Arthur and John were stood with guilty faces. “We didn’t come in Tom.” John said as soon as he walked out, he sounded like a child that had been caught going for the biscuit tin. Tommy didn’t care though, he just wanted to know where (Y/N) was going. “Round the back, she’s wearing a white coat, you can see her green dress hanging out the bottom and she’s got (y/h/c) hair. Follow her and tell me where she goes.” He barely looked at them just gave the order and began to move back to the house. “She?” said Arthur, “The killers a she?” his confusion evident. “Yes Arthur, a woman, now go before you lose her.” Tommy strode off. “Polly is gunna love this.” Muttered John. The brothers hurried around the corner looking for the white coat and green dress. “Watch out!” shouted Arthur as he turned the corner colliding straight into a woman wearing all black. “Sorry.” She muttered scurrying up the street.

When Tommy had turned his back (Y/N) had moved quickly, going to where she had left a bag earlier by the back door. Knowing she only had moments she pulled off her coat, grabbed out a black skirt that she put on to cover the bottom of her dress, turned her coat inside out so it was now black and put it on over the top. Looking down she checked that no green was now showing. Next, she took out a wig that was several shades darker than her natural colour, it pulled on easily as she gathered her own hair up. Finally, a simple black hat with a vail to cover her face. Checking quickly in the mirror she was pleased to see she looked just like a young widow, not an unusual sight in Small Heath. Leaving out the back door she rounded the corner and walked straight into Arthur Shelby, muttering apologies she moved out of his way and headed back to the boarding house.

@comebackjessica​ @nemesis729​ @spacenijntje​

[a3hastakenovermylife]

Ok, I really, really want some quality interaction between Kazunari and Taichi.

Like I know that we all joke about them because they’re our energetic, adorable, puppy pair, and yes, that is who they are on the surface. But, when you simplify their whole character arcs down to just that, you’re flattening their characters and you lose the depth that the game hints at for the both of them.

The game did a really great job at letting Taichi flush out a decent sized character arc, and concluded that story in a satisfying way during the Autumn Troupe arc. We see our sunshine boy upset, withdrawn, and separating himself from the others out of guilt. Then we see him distraught over the things he’s done and being comforted by Omi (honestly my favorite interaction in the whole series, second only to Juza and Banri high-fiving). Then we see him confessing to the others, and they all retell their portraits to one another, and Taichi finally gets to accept that he’s been forgiven, and more than that, that he’s been truly accepted into the troupe. For the first time, he gets to understand that he will get to act, he’s going to have the opportunity to do what he loves and he’s going to be able to do it with people he’s come to care so much about.

Taichi is in a much better place at the end of the Autumn Troupe arc, and we can see the potential for that to grow in the future.  However, I do not feel like we get to nearly the same place with Kazunari.

With Kazunari, we begin to understand that he puts on a front with other people, that he acts all happy and tends to agree with everyone as to not ruffle any feathers.  He’s never had a group of real friends before the Summer Troupe, and when confronted with the fact that he not only doesn’t have to pretend to be neutral, that his friends don't want him to be.  Kazunari made some real progress here, he did stand tall and give his opinion, but he isn’t shown to make any other significant changes.  Nor, can we tell whether this was a permanent change.  

He’s still the same energetic Kazunari, friendly and fun-loving as always.  I can’t help but feel like his character arc was left mostly incomplete, we know there's a problem, but we haven't taken many steps to fix it, nor does it seem like Kazu has had any change in attitude.  He’s still bottling most of his emotions up, refusing to show anything other than his cheery smile.  

Here’s where we get into some of my own characterization here, because as a freshmen art major myself, I know, I know, that college isn't easy.  On top of all of that, trying to pretend that everything is fine, is like putting a band-aid on a stab wound.  The longer you hold everything in, the more mentally isolated you make yourself.  Even surrounded by kind, loving, caring people, you can feel totally alone.  On top of that, place his pre-existing tendency to hide any and all of his real opinions and feelings, which isn't the kind of mental behavior you can fix overnight.  

What you’re left with is a ticking time bomb.

No human being can be happy all the time.  It's just not possible.  

When a human being is upset, they will need help eventually.  Especially, a college student, stepping out into the world for the first time on their own, a pseudo-adult who likes to pretend they've grown up already.  

Kazunari needs that character arc of his to be finished, because right now, he's sitting in a limbo within which he can never truly be happy, or relaxed.  Simply because he hasn’t taken the time to learn how to open up to his friends. 

Now, here's where my Taichi and Kazu interaction comes in.  

(Ok, I started this just as an idea post and lo and behold it became almost as long as a fic. This is literally just my word vomit, so I apologize in advance for any poor grammar, spelling mistakes, and unclear transitions that occur, but please enjoy and tell me if you want me to make this a proper fic)

Taichi has for the most part evolved through his character arc, he's in a good place now and is growing closer to everyone in the company.  Meanwhile, Kazu seems to be falling out of sync with everyone, he’s way less chatty, he spends most of his time by himself, and while when he's actually in the room with them he is acting relatively normal.  Every single time anybody asks him if something is bothering him, he laughs and brushes the concern off easily.  However, his troupe mates can hear how forced the laugh sounds.

It’s something that happens over a few months, but Summer Troupe is very worried.  They’ve taken to having weekly meetings in the common area while Kazu is doing his homework to try and puzzle out what’s been going on with him.  The others share their concern as well, the point is that now the whole company is determined to get to the bottom of whatever is up with him. 

I bet you anything that Omi notices the similarities right away.  This is way to eerily similar to the way Taichi was acting during those last few weeks before everything came to light.  He probably approaches Kazu to talk several times but is shut down at every turn by a forced laugh, or an easy excuse like ‘I’m just a bit tired.’ or ‘Just been super busy lately, that's all.’.

Taichi, himself, probably notices too, but he really doesn't want to stick his nose into something that felt so incredibly personal.  He lets it go because he knows how helpful it was when his troupe mates let him talk out his troubles, and listened, and accepted him for all his faults.  He feels if he buts in now, he’ll just take that opportunity from Kazu, and he’d never do something that.

The Summer Troupe keeps trying, and one night they all approach him at once, determined not to let this go until he fesses up.  They all corner him in his room and start to ask questions, and Tenma and Yuki are almost certainly going to be coming off as being a bit harsh, but who can blame them Kazu has been worrying the both of them senseless for months, and neither of them are the type to mince their words.  

Muku is especially emotional throughout the whole thing, he’s had a front row seat to this slow motion train-wreck this whole time, living in the same room as Kazu.  He sees how late he stays up, and how often he gets no sleep at all, he's the one who sees the cracks beginning to form in the persona Kazu has built up for himself.  He even mentions one particularly horrible night when Kazu was crying in his sleep.  By that point though, Muku is relatively incomprehensible through his own crying.  

Misumi is mostly watching, agreeing with the others, saying supportive words, but mostly standing aside, looking and feeling a little helpless.  

This is Kazu’s breaking point.  Kazu has been spiraling for months.  It started with feeling horrible and stressed about his classes, then evolved to worrying about how he always hid that fact from the others, then to feeling guilty about being so dishonest about his feelings, then to feeling even more guilty about pushing them away when they were clearly worried and not being able to reciprocate their kindness with even the most basic courtesy of honesty.

Seeing all of them like this, pouring their hearts out to reach him, it just made him feel worse.  He wanted them to understand, but some part of him was certain that they never could.  That even if he could speak right then, that none of it could make them understand.  There was also a traitorous part of his mind that heard Tenma’s frustrated shout and Yuki’s sarcastic drawl, and only hear accusation and condemnation.

He knew it was stupid, that his friends would never actually feel that way about him.  He knew that.

That didn’t stop that little traitorous voice in his head from taking the steering wheel though, it didn’t stop it from completely taking over.  He was on his feet and pushing past them out of the room before he even knew what he was doing.  He vaguely recognized the feeling of someone grabbing a hold of his shoulder and he forcefully pulls away, running faster than he even knew he was capable of out of the dorm.

The voices calling for him to come back, concerned, worried, crying.  Concern for him, and he can't even turn around to look at them, he can barely even hear them.  He keeps running, longer than his body should have been able to run, faster than he ever thought possible.  He tripped more than once and was left with scrapes from each time.  The others tried to follow him, but in the darkness, it seems that none of them had succeeded.  

Or maybe, the same voice whispered. They’ve just decided to give up on you.

Meanwhile, the Summer troupe meets back at the dorm, and they get the others to come help them look for Kazunari.  To say the least, Summer Troupe is pretty distraught, all things considered.  Muku is an even worse than he’d been earlier, having given up entirely on trying to talk, Yuki has made it his responsibility to keep Muku from falling over, having to prop him up through most of their search, and he’s become oddly quiet as he does so.  

Misumi actually does cry for a few minuites for Kazu, he's so incredibly sad that he can’t seem to do anything to help.  However, he doesn't let it keep him down.  It's no more than five minutes before he stands up with a half-smile to help search for him again. 

Tenma, is just oddly quiet, like way too quiet, more quiet than even Yuki.  Only speaking in clipped one-word sentences, and mostly even then, only answering questions addressed to him.  He's clearly frustrated, but more than that, he almost seems remorseful.  By this point, he’s feeling pretty guilty and useless himself.  He is the leader of this troupe after all, and it is his responsibility to take care of stuff like this isn’t it?  

It’s early in the morning, and the whole company has been searching for hours when it starts to rain.  It's at this point that the director just says that they should head back and get some sleep.  Tenma does not take that order well. After a very loud and long argument with Tenma, the most that he’s spoken all night, he finally gives in when he sees the state the rest of his troupe is in,  Muku has practically fainted already, Yuki was on the verge of tears himself and Misumi was just staring blankly into space dejectedly.  

So, with that everyone heads back to the dorm to go to sleep.

------------

It’s only after they're back inside, dried off, and the lights are off that Taichi realizes that he can’t sleep.  He was close with Kazu, they’d always meshed really well together and got along really well.  When he’d seen a reflection of himself in Kazu, he'd let it go, and now he was really starting to regret it.  He should have realized, that just because Taichi had had Omi to help him work up the courage to confess what he’d done to the rest of the troupe, and to help him sort out his feelings.  Omi was practically an adult, he was so mature and always seemed to know what to do.  

Summer Troupe didn't really have an Omi.  Kazu was actually the oldest of the bunch of them.  He should have spoken up sooner, tried to help Kazu through it, if he’d just said something earlier, the situation might not have gotten this far out of control.  Taichi had desperately needed someone to give him the courage to speak up when he’d been in such a dark place and, something told him that Kazu needed the same thing, and that nothing would change at all until he got that much.

He might have school in a few hours, and it might still be raining, but Taichi honestly didn't care.  He couldn't sit still any longer.  He got up from the covers, and grabbed his jacket and was about to open the door to their room when he heard Omi sit up.

“You’re going to go look for Kazunari aren’t you?” He asked.

Taichi blinked and stammered, trying to come up with some other excuse, and epically failing.  It was too hard to lie to Omi though, especially after everything that had happened between them.  Omi just chuckled, and told him not to worry so much.  Omi stood and opened his own closet, pulling out a spare backpack, and placing a large towel, an oversized poncho, and an umbrella in the bag, then handed it to Taichi.  Then silently lead Taichi along to the kitchen, where he pulled out a large thurmace and heated up some hot cocoa to put inside, then handed that to Taichi as well.  

“I think that you might be one of the only people who can get through to Kazunari, you realize that too don’t you?”  Omi said softly, as to not wake the others.  Taichi nodded emphatically, a little stunned that Omi was just letting him go no matter how irresponsible of an idea it was. “Alright, then.  Good luck, and bring him home.”

Taichi nodded and just as soon as he had gotten outside he started running.  It was still dark and rainy, but at least there were plenty of streetlights.  He called out to Kazunari and he called and called.  Mostly though, Taichi was looking, looking for any sign of a person, anywhere.  By now, he was pretty sure that Kazu wasn’t going to reply to the call, but he did it anyway, just in case.

Eventually, about an hour in, his voice got raw and he needed to take a break.  He stopped talking, and sat down on just some random street corner, not caring one bit that his pants were now wet.

It wasn't any good, he wasn't going to find him was he?

He sat dejectedly on the concrete, just listening to the rain and feeling his pants begin to get soggy.  He didn't know how long he sat there before he heard it.

It was faint, so incredibly quiet, that even the light sound of raindrops nearly drowned it out entirely.

Yet, if he listened hard enough he heard crying.  He hoped he wasn't just his desperation getting to him, making him hear things.  He stood up eagerly anyway, staying silent and trying to follow the sound before it stopped.  It was hard, really hard, and the sky was starting to lighten just a minuscule shade when he finally made it to the mouth of the alley.

There Kazu was, Taichi could just barely make out the top of his head poking out from behind a stack of abandoned boxes.  He was absolutely drenched to the bone, there was no way he wasn't going to get sick after this.  He was crying softly, his head ducked and his arms hugging himself.

Taichi carefully approached Kazu and found himself at a loss for a moment.  The very last thing he wanted was for him to run off again, and he really didn't want to startle him either.  What he settled on was taking the umbrella and the towel out, and holding the umbrella with one arm, while he dried Kazu’s head off to the best of his ability with only one arm to work with.  Kazu stiffened but didn't move, his crying coming to an abrupt halt as he held his breath. 

“Hey, Kazu.  It’s just me, Taichi.”

Kazunari gave a shaky sigh of relief at his voice. “Damn, Tai-chan don’t scare me like that ok?  Thought you were gonna mug me or something...”  It was clear that Kazu was trying to put up his barriers again, and not quite managing it.  

“Sorry, about that.”  Taichi apologized, more than a little relieved that Kazunari had actually spoken to him right off the bat.  That was farther than the rest of Summer Troupe had gotten.  Taichi fumbled a bit before he decided to sit next to Kazu, after it seemed clear that he wasn’t too keen on moving.

Silence settled between the two of them, Kazu seemed to be trying desperately to reign his emotions back under control.  Taichi was just trying to think of how to start this, what to say.  He thought about how Omi had approached him, but something told Taichi that Kazu wouldn't connect well with that.  

It didn't help that he had no idea why Kazu was so upset, or what had caused this, or if anything really had caused it.  There might not be one cause.  It was more than a little overwhelming, Taichi really really really didn't want to mess this up.

He couldn’t do nothing again though, that wasn't an option, he had to say something, anything.

He decided, to just say whatever came to mind.  To say how he felt, and hope to every god out there that it reached him.

“You know, it’s impossible for a person to be happy all the time, don't you?”  Taichi asked.  Kazunari didn't respond, and Taichi decided that was ok.  He’d just keep talking for now.  “I won’t pretend that I know why you’re so upset, because I don’t.  It’s ok if you don't really want to talk about it right now, I get it.  Though, if you’re up to it, I would really appreciate it if you listened to my story.”

Taichi waited until he saw Kazunari nod, the other teen seemingly relaxing a bit beside him.   Taichi smiled at the sight, and began to speak.

(Authors note: in this story only Autumn troupe and Yuki (+ the director)  know about the fact that Taichi was a mole.  Not because they're keeping secrets, just because the others never asked and nobody thought to tell them.  Mostly, I don't know for sure if any of the others know, and I like to imagine that they don't know, or at least not the full story.)

Taichi essentially performed his portrait for Kazunari, by the end the other teen was actually looking up at him.  Taichi continued though, even after his story normally ended.  

“You see, whatever you feel so upset about, guilty about even, I doubt it'll be worse than the things I've done.  Even if it is, I know that your troupe mates would listen and try their best to understand why.  No matter what it is, no matter what might have happened.  They care a lot about you, and the only reason they got so frustrated is because they hate seeing you hurting like this, they were only trying to help, you know...”

“Yeah, I know that...”  Kazu looked away again.  Though, this time he didn't curl in on himself like before, he leaned back and looked to the sky, which was already beginning to lighten in color. “How did you know I was feeling guilty?”

“I guess, I can just tell?  I don't know, it's a bit freaky actually.” Taichi gave a nervous chuckle, then his expression softened a bit to match the sincerity in hie voice.   “I saw your expression, and it was almost like I was looking in the mirror, I got this weird sense of de ja vu, and I could just tell.   That probably doesn’t make any sense does it...”

“Never experienced it myself, but I get what you're talking about.”  Kazu replied with a sigh, closing his eyes.  The two of them stay quiet for a minute, Taichi got the feeling that Kazunari was just on the verge of telling him something, so he was patient, giving the other teen the chance to gather his thoughts. 

“You know, hearing all that you just said, it almost makes me feel a bit silly.  This is such a stupid thing to get so worked up over, ‘ya know.”  Kazu shook his head at himself. “It’s always been stupid, and I’ve always known that but I can't help it.  I’m always terrified of what others will think, if I don't keep a smile on my face.  More than that, I’m so used to pushing all of my worries aside that I don’t even know how to face them anymore.  I just ignore them, until I can’t anymore.”  Kazu swallowed thickly, leaning forward again and running a hand through his still, thoroughly damp hair.  “I don’t want to keep hiding my real feelings, it's just that each time I get even slightly uncomfortable, it's easier to just put the mask back on.  I can’t help it, and that’s terrifying, ya know.  I want the others to know when I’m stressed or upset, its not like I want to keep hiding it from them, but it never seems like the right time to let the facade fall.  They're so used to me being happy, that I don't think they understand how much of it is fake.  What happens when I let everything out, and they realize that I've been lying to them?  Will they even be able to stand me, as I am now?  They’re friends with the energetic, fun-loving Kazunari Miyoshi, not me.  I don’t know if any of them have ever even met this side of me, I'm hardly even the same person.  I really don’t want to ruin this place, I really really love it here.  I’m happier living here than I've ever been in my life, I don’t know what I'd do if everything fell apart...”  Kazu trailed off.

“I don’t think anything is going to fall apart, Kazu. Things’ll change a bunch, but nothing will be ruined. You don’t even need to do anything more than just explain this to your troupe.  Even if they don’t get it at first, they’ll do everything they’re capable of to help you, I just know it. Also, I think that you’re more likely to push them away continuing on as you are, than you are if you just tried to explain.” “You don’t have to try and handle this all by yourself. Please, try and explain this to them. Trust me when I say that you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“You really think it’ll turn out alright?”

“I know it will.”

Kazunari gave a breathy chuckle. “How can you be so sure?”

Taichi smiled wanly and thought about earlier that evening...

“’The hell?  How can you even say that?!  You really expect me to just go back to the dorm when Kazunari is out here somewhere, all by himself!  If we don't find him soon, who knows what’ll happen!  Who know’s what’s already happened?  He could have been mugged in an alley somewhere by now, and we’d have no idea!”

“Tenma...”

“I’m not going back.”

“Tenma, please stop and listen for a second.  Everyone is exhausted, we aren’t going to make any progress like this.  If we sleep for even an hour or two and get back to it, we’re more likely to find him, ok?”

“There’s nothing ‘ok’ about any of this!”

“Alright, maybe ‘ok’ wasn’t the right word for this situation, but Tenma...”  The director leaned in to whisper something into Tenma’s ear.  Immediately the teen star glanced over his shoulder and saw the state of his troupe mates and his stiff angered posture melted. Tenma silently nodded and sighed.

“I really fucked up this whole ‘troupe leader’ thing, didn’t I?”

“Kazu, your entire troupe is convinced that they've failed you in some way or another, especially Tenma-kun.  He was so upset earlier that he actually started yelling at the director, like a real argument and not his usual antics.  They want to help you more than anything else, and the entire company feels the same way.  This isn’t because they want they want you to go back to how you were, its because you’re in pain and they want to help you.  Whether that means that you stop putting on that mask entirely, or just start by learning not to rely on it too much, I know they'll be willing to support you no matter what you decide to do, so long as you’re beginning to get better.”  

“I’m here too, if you ever want to talk to somebody who gets it a little better.  It's hard being yourself, and it's easy to hide so you won't get hurt when someone rejects you. I get that, Kazu, and I do it too sometimes.  So, if you need to talk to someone outside of your Troupe, and maybe even get advice on how to make them understand, I’m here too.” 

“Kazu, you’ve got so many people waiting for you at home who want to help you, all you have to do is open up and let them.  Try and help them understand, and let them do the rest.  That’s all you can do, and I guarantee you, that nobody will be upset if you admit that you’re only human, that you can't be happy all the time.  Nobody in the troupe has ever expected that of you, even if they’ve gotten used to your antics, they won't judge you for the fact that you can’t keep them up.  The only thing, that you have to decide to do for them to accept you as you are, is to explain this to them.  That’s all, and nobody can take that first step other than you.”  Taichi said seriously.  

“I also happen to know how hard it is to take that first step, by yourself.  I had Omi to help me along, he pushed me to tell the others what I’d done, even when I was convinced they could never forgive me, and even that I didn't deserve to be forgiven.  He’s the one that helped me take that first step, and I’d like to do that too, for you.”  Taichi looked up at the sky which was rapidly changing to a much brighter shade of blue.  

“The others will probably wake up again soon, if we head back now, we might catch them before they leave the dorm again.  Please, let me take you home, so we can talk to your troupe mates and sort this all out.  I know that probably sounds impossible right now, but I know you can do it, and I’ll be right by your side while you do it.  So, what do you say?”

Kazunari sighed shakily and nodded, looking absolutely exhausted. “I think I can do it, if it's just my troupe and you I think I can try and explain all of this.  I just hope they understand.”  

Taichi grinned brightly, feeling a wash of relief rush over him.  “Really?!  Wow, thank you for trusting me Kazu!”  He let out a short bark of laughter.  “I’ll be honest, was really floundering there for a while.  I didn't know what so say at all, I’m so glad I didn’t make things even worse...”  Taichi let out a sigh of relief. “Sorry about that, I ended up just spewing my feelings all over you there....”

“You said all the right things Tai-chan, at least I think so.  I feel a lot better, if you'll really be with me I think I can manage this.  Even if I still don't know if this’ll turn out alright, I'm going to trust your judgement over mine on this one, because clearly my judgement is all out of wack, today...”. Kazunari paused and shook his head to himself. “Actually my judgment has been out of commission for a while now, I think. The point is, I cant really trust myself right now, so I'm going to trust you, ok?” Kazunari’s voice was a bit shaky, but he put some effort into sounding reassuring for Taichi’s sake.

———————— ok POV switch heh

Taichi blinked and stared blankly at Kazunari for a solid minute before he seemed to gather himself, the words finally having settled in. With a mighty sniff Taichi wiped his eyes and dashed away the tears that hadn’t even had the chance to fall. “Thanks Kazunari, that means a lot. I won’t let you down, I promise.” Taichi grinned brightly, his voice gaining a steelly determination behind it. Taichi then, handed Kazunari the umbrella to hold and turned to pull something from the backpack he’d been carrying. Kazunari stared as Taichi placed a thick plastic poncho on his lap and a large thurmace in his other hand and took the umbrella from Kazunari once again.

“You actually managed to run pretty far away from the dorm, so you should put that poncho on, and there’s hot cocoa that Omi made in there. Even if you don’t want to drink it, just open it and hold it. At least the heat will warm you up a bit.” Taichi said, and he almost sounded like director, the way he was fussing over him.

Kazunari was certain that his cheeks were flushed red, but he was equally sure that was only because he was freezing. It definitely wasn’t because he was embarrassed or anything.

“Hey do you want me to call us a ride? I think that might be better than walking all the way back. Plus, it’ll give them a heads up so nobody leaves to look for us.” Taichi asked, and Kazunari almost immediately shook his head.

“I’m soaked to the bone and I seriously don’t need a lecture from Sakyo for ruining the apoulstry of his car, right now.” Kazunari laughed at his own joke, too bad the joke was too close to the truth. He really didn’t want to soak up and ruin anyone’s car by getting inside it the way he was.

Taichi’s smile wavered, he didn’t laugh. Then he took out his phone and was engrossed in typing for a minute, before Kazu realized what he was doing. He propped himself up against the wall and stood, and was shocked to see how hard it was to do so. His vision almost immediately started blurring and darkening as Kazunari leaned against the wall for support.

“Hey, wait! I can walk I swear, don’t call anybody here, I’m fine!” Kazunari blurted just as he heard the message send.

“Sakyo isn’t the only adult in our troupe with a car, you know.” Taichi replied, a little softly. Then, he nervously tapped his foot for a moment before he made eye contact with Kazu again, and spoke. “You said that you were going to trust me earlier, didn’t you? You can’t get all the way home like you are now, and unfortunately, I’m not strong enough to carry you all the way back.”

Kazunari blinked, and sighed.

He did ask for this after all.

He however, refused to sit down. He was gonna lean right against that wall until the ride came, whoever they were. That thought didn’t last more than five minutes though. Kazunari blinked furiously to clear the spots from his vision to no avail. Then, sighed in defeat and leaned against the wall to slide back down to the asphalt.

Taichi gave him a concerned look and Kazunari tried to ignore it, it was just then he was saved by the appearance of a vehicle, and almost immediately Kazu recognized it as Itaru’s. The car parked and Itaru opened got out of the car to join them.

Kazunari had to look away, because a part of him still couldn’t stand the wave of guilt when he saw the worry in his gaze. So, he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Thanks, Itaru, for coming to pick us up.” Taichi said extra cheerily, though there was a dash of genuine grstitude hidden in there.

“It’s no problem. I’m glad you asked me, the others were already waking up and getting restless. They were almost about to start searching for you again when you texted me.” Itaru said with a wan smile of his own. “So, let’s get you two back to the dorm. Do you need a hand there Kazunari?”

“Nah’ I’m fi-“. Kazunari was about to say when Taichi pulled him up and propped him up.

“Yeah, Kazu, my buddy, nobody is gonna fall for that.”

“Alright, ok!” Kazunari sighed, and said “I’m super woozy and can barely stand up, yes I’d love some help.” He was too tired to keep up with this. Let the others do what they want, he’s taking a nap when he gets in that car.

Kazunari could hear Itaru let out a relieved chuckle, Taichi did the same not long afterward. When did he close his eyes?

“Happy to help, then.” Itaru idly commented as Kazu heard a car door open, he was gently shuffled into what he assumed was the back seat and his head was definitely resting on Taichi’s shoulder.

Someone strapped his seatbelt on, he assumed it was Taichi, and he heard the drivers door open and admit someone as well, probably Itaru getting in.

Kazunari was definitely getting sleepy and the last thing he remembered hearing, he wasn’t even sure he was dreaming yet or not. But the last thing be remembered hearing, was Taichi whisper.

“Sleep well, everything will turn out ok, I promise it will.”

[tirednerd2012]

Another story idea:

Barley has to leave the house for a little bit, leaving Ian home alone when he starts having a full on panic attack (whether it be by stressed, or work) and barley comes back in the house only to hear labor breathing from Ian's room and when he goes to check on him, he sees that he's having another attack and helps him to calm down and comforts him.

Okay guys, so the stories coming up will start connecting more. Hope you enjoy! Let me know if it gets confusing. I have no idea what kind of tag I should use for this. Let me know if you have any ideas!

Barley noticed Ian was dosing off more than usual lately. He watched Ian closely. There had been several threats made against Ian and both brothers talked to their good friend, the Manticore, they liked to just stick with Corey, about it. She didn't seem surprised. Sad, but surprised. She explained to them that this was going to be an unfortunate everyday thing. The brothers would never be able to let their guard down, and if Barley continued to stay around Ian, that he would be a target as well. People would use him against his little brother.

The good news, since their mom doesn't go on quests with them, she was most likely safe. She didn't pose nearly as much of a threat to enemies as Barley did (Barley saw that as a grave mistake to anyone who underestimated his mother, but he wouldn't argue about it, if it meant she was safe).

Ian almost broke down when Corey explained she has heard stories of the wizard's brother or sister being killed on their behalf. Apparently, grief to that degree can cause a lot of pain and power. Ian could unleash something horrible if Barley was killed.

That, was not so much good news.

"I wish I could give you guys better news, I do, but it is important that you start taking your safety seriously. You have to stay on guard, because there are always going to be people watching now."

"That Clarke guy knew a lot about me," Ian said. Barley felt his skin crawl at the mention of that bastard. Who knew how long that guy had been watching Ian. He targeted Ian and tried to use him for potions.

Both brothers shuttered at that awful memory.

"There are more like him," Corey sighed. "The good news is, Barley, that sword I gave you should also cloak you. People won't view you as a threat until you attack."

"What about Ian? Isn't there some kind of spell that could cloak him?"

"Ian won't be able to make that spell until he's older. While you are advanced," she said, looking at him, "you are still young. You will grow more powerful the older you get."

“Is there something we can do in the meantime? Will my family be in danger around me?”

That, was also not good news.

Barley had been feeling heavy-hearted since the entire conversation. That had been a week ago and Ian spoke maybe three sentences to anyone. He was quiet at school, because Ian’s friends texted Barley to ask if he was okay, and a teacher had called their mom.

Barley could normally read Ian like a book, but his brother completely closed himself off. He couldn’t blame him. This was a lot for everyone to take in. But Barley desperately wanted to fix it and he hated seeing Ian worry about him so much. He didn’t want his family to worry for him, but it seemed natural.

“Ian,” Barley called to his brother’s locked door, “I need to grab some things at the store. Do you need anything?”

He hadn’t come out all day. His mom told him to give Ian space before she left for work, but he could hear the worry and stress in her voice.

“Please, say something,” Barley said, after a minute of silence.

“I’m alright, Barley, thanks,” Ian’s voice responded.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Call me if you need anything.”

He didn’t get a response, but he decided not to push it. As he ran his errand, he tried to brush off the worry, but he couldn’t stand it. Ian, while he was always a little unsure of himself, never had so many mental battles. Barley had helped take care of him his entire life, was practically a father figure to him, and he was normally able to comfort Ian, but he couldn’t. 

This was something he couldn’t fix. But he so desperately wanted to. e wished more than anything he could fix it, but he couldn’t and he hated it.

When he came home, he went to check in on Ian when he heard hyperventilating. He tried the door again, but it didn’t budge.

“Ian? Are you okay in there?” he asked. He didn’t get a response, but the hyperventilating got worse. “Ian?”

Nothing.

“If you are by the door, move. I’m breaking the door open,” Barley said and waited a moment and then used his shoulder to break the door and found Ian on against the corner, trying to breathe. Beside him was a duffle bag half full of clothes.

Barley darted to his brother’s side and pulled him into him. Ian latched on and sobbed on his brother’s chest.

“I don’t want to go,” he cried.

“Who said anything about you leaving? What are you talking about?” Barley asked. One arm was completely wrapped around Ian and the other held Ian’s head close.

“I can’t stay here, Barley. It’s not safe,” Ian responded.

“You’re not leaving, Ian.”

“You heard what Corey said! You could die! I’m not risking that!”

“You’re not leaving, Ian, that’s the end of that. I don’t care about whatever risk there is,” Barley responded and refused to let Ian go. “We are going to figure something out. I don’t care, we are both going to survive this. I’m not losing you and you aren’t losing me.”

“You don’t know that.”

Barley knew damn well he didn’t know that, but he would fight with everything he had.

“Ian, we have overcome everything so far. We are going to be okay. I promise. We are going to figure it out,” Barley responded. He held Ian as he cried and hid his tears himself. He looked at the duffle bag and sighed. “I can’t lose you, Ian. I-I lost Dad and there was nothing I could do about it. I’m not going to let you go. You are the last person I can afford to lose.”

“It’s not safe for you to be around me.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”

“Then we’ll figure out a plan,” Barley said. Eventually, Ian’s breathing evened out.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Barley.”

“Ian, you have an incredible and amazing gift. We are going to figure out what to do. But I don’t want you to get so caught up in this you forget what an amazing gift this actually is. You can change the world.”

Barley believed those words with everything he had. And if he had to, he would believe in it enough for the both of them.