antibodee-art-blog

[paperstorm]

The argument/make-up in 2x04 is really one of my favourite Tarlos stories because I just love when conflict in fiction is the direct result of two people’s individual traumas bumping up against each other, rather than someone being a villain.

Both of them in this episode are coming from a place of having a large trauma in their past that the other doesn’t know all the details of. Carlos hasn’t told TK anything, at this point, about how his coming out went and how much pain he is in every single day because he feels like his parents don’t fully accept him being gay. He avoids the topic of his parents at Owen’s party when TK brings it up because he’s in a honeymoon phase with TK and he’s never had that before with anyone. He believes – like he says at the end when they make up – that he might never be able to have a real relationship. And he does likely know that at some point they’ll have to discuss his parents but he has never been as happy with anyone as he is with TK (insert season four context of he felt broken until the day they met) and he isn’t ready just yet for the dreamy bubble they’re in to be burst by reality.

So he deflects, in what will become a signature personality trait of Carlos’s – chronic avoidance and making jokes to get out of conversations he isn't ready to have. And then by accident they run into Gabriel and Andrea, and Carlos, still not ready to do this, panics and introduces TK as his friend. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but trauma, so he acts like he doesn’t understand why TK is upset and he makes a joke out of it. He’s been anxious this whole time about how TK, who is so out and loud and proud, is going to react when he finds out Carlos is still half in the closet, and this is the very reaction he was so afraid of and why he avoided it for so long.

None of it is done with malintent, it’s all self-preservation and learned coping mechanisms from things in his past that have left such deep scars, but TK doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

TK, meanwhile, is still pretty fresh off of getting his heart broken so badly that he tried to kill himself. He went to Austin in a truly horrendous state of pain and trauma and heartache. He wasn’t planning on meeting his soulmate so soon, he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because of how much his heart was still in tatters, which is why we get him being so wishy-washy in season one. By early season two he’s also very much in that honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean his wounds are fully healed yet. He asks Carlos about his parents, it feels implied in the party scene that it isn’t the first time he’s asking about them. He’s given Carlos the opportunity to have the conversation that they need to have, but Carlos has changed the subject.

Then they run into them. TK is so happy to meet them, and then so instantly crushed when Carlos introduces him as a friend. He’s upset all the way home, and Carlos – for reasons TK doesn’t understand yet – is acting like it’s not a big deal. TK storms out because that’s how he copes with things at this stage in his emotional development, and leaves some hurtful words for Carlos as a parting gift. Not a mature way to handle things, but in a later scene with Owen and Gwyn it’s revealed how hurt TK really is. “I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him,” TK says, all dejected. “Maybe he did. Maybe we are just friends.” Because Alex also told TK "I love you", and then cheated on him. TK’s lingering Alex trauma bubbles back up; fuck not again, not another man who says ‘I love you’ to my face but then hides me and doesn’t really want forever with me, even though that isn’t really what’s happening with Carlos.

If it wasn’t for Alex, TK probably wouldn’t have been half as upset by any of this and would have been more receptive to hearing an explanation, but Carlos doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

It’s just such good conflict. They’re both right, and they’re both wrong. They’re both operating from places of extreme hurt that isn’t the other person’s fault, and they’re both operating from places of not understanding the extent of what the other is going through. And in the scene where they make up you can see how much love there is and how much they both really want to understand the other better. It’s such a beautiful way to love someone, to say to each other “let me meet you where you are and love you the way you need to be loved, even if it’s different from how I need to be loved.”

[rmd-writes]

a love note (and some fics)

Sometimes I wonder if there's really anything bigger out there - the universe, some kind of higher power, fate - and then I think about how extremely lucky I am that I became obsessed with a certain tv show and its characters at just the right time so that I could befriend someone who then introduced me to a particular book at exactly the right time to fall in love with those characters as well. And then, because of my need to have more of those characters, I went looking for more stories about them at exactly the right time to meet a group of people (some of them together, some of them later, but that doesn't matter) who would go on to become my friends.

There must be something, right? To bring together a group of people who live in five to seven different time zones depending on the time of year. To create my safest spaces on the internet. To share not just our love for a book and its characters, but parts of our lives with each other. To have them all wedge themselves into the soft spaces of my heart and never leave.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last two weeks, because those people conspired and collaborated to gift me a collection of 10 incredible fics for a milestone birthday (tomorrow!) - even though some of them haven't written fic for months and months, or don't write for this fandom at all anymore, or have recently been finding it hard to make words work and finish fics, or are just plain busy with other projects and life. That they took the time to find and make words for me means everything and more 💖💖

I've been absolutely overwhelmed with love these past 10 days (probably to the surprise of no one, I have cried at every single fic drop and I'm crying writing this now). So, I want to share the wonderful fics that they've written for me with you all because it's the least I can do to pay it forward and they're objectively stellar fics. If you haven't come across them already then you should definitely add them to your to read lists/open tabs/MFL. Please show my friends some love and read their work.

The Rae of Sunshine! collection, in order of publication (with my very short summaries):

Take It Back (4.2K) by @three-drink-amy

Henry is the head chef at a French restaurant and there's one patron who keeps sending his dishes back. How can they resolve this?

Dick, Dick Dick (You Down) (10.2K) by @everwitch-magiks

Alex runs the craft services trailer on the set of actor!Henry's latest movie. Is he the only person who sees behind the façade?

A deceptively soft story, given the title.

Precious Love (1.3K) by floatingaway4

The fluffiest follow up to one of my favourite AUs Amigos y Migas (aka the food truck au).

Midnight ice cream (5.8K) by @the-amber-fox

Emotional support Cornettos? More likely than you think.

Make it Right (5.3K) by @three-drink-amy (that's right, Ally wrote me TWO FICS)

A rogue little Tarlos fic in amongst the firstprince - a post-season 1 canon divergence that sees TK working in a taco truck while he finds his feet.

a taste of life (7.4K) by @indomitable-love

A journey through Henry's life, told through food. (This one is not my summary, indomitablelove already summed it up perfectly)

Risotto + Melanzane + Dolce (a love story) (16.8K) by @villiageidiot

Alex starts working at an Italian restaurant and is terrible at his job. Somehow, Henry doesn't seem to mind.

Cursed is a State of Mind (WIP) by @welcometololaland & @dustratcentral

A 5 + 1 treatise on cursed coffee consumption.

12 Year Starter (6.6K) by @clottedcreamfudge

When Pez can't make it to Henry's Michelin-star birthday dinner, he arranges for Henry's friend, Alex, to take his place. Featuring CCF's signature banter and fun, and a menu that I wish was real.

Pour Your He(art) Out (WIP) by @athousandrooms

A 5+1 ode to latte art (featuring actual art!)

You can find the entire collection here on Ao3.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Tag Game Tuesday: 911 Lone Star Fandom Edition

How fun! Thank you for tagging me @tellmegoodbye!

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

In early February 2022, I began to see some Push gifs on tumblr and I was very intrigued. Two beautiful men, one waking up from a coma, both of them obviously in love with each other...I had to know more! I started season 1 a few days later and it took me around a week to get completely caught up. I was just in time to watch 3x07 as it aired. I've been completely consumed by the show and Tarlos ever since.

Which season is your favorite?

I think season 3 is the most consistently great season, though I love a lot about all the seasons. Still, if I have to pick a favorite, it's season 3.

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

TK and Carlos are absolutely my favorite characters. I love them so much. I don't think I can even choose between them to pick out one single favorite. Aside from those two, I think my next favorite is Marjan.

Top five episodes. Go!

1. In the Unlikely Event of An Emergency (3x08)

2. Push (3x04)

3. Saving Grace (2x09)

4. Riddle of the Sphynx (3x13)

5. A Bright and Cloudless Morning (3x18)

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

Carlos. My dream season 5 episode would be somewhat of a "begins" episode for him, focusing on his relationship with his father and showing him working through his feelings about that and his grief. It would include flashbacks that would give us a chance to see more of Gabriel. I would also love it if Carlos was solving his father's murder in the present!

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

The one thing I want most from season 5 is great Tarlos content. Particularly, I want to see TK and Carlos working together as a team. They make a pretty good team, after all! I think it would be great if TK helped Carlos solve Gabriel's murder. Bonus points if this storyline involves both of them freaking out over the other being in danger!

What do you think is going on in this still?

There are so many potential scenarios! My best guess in this moment is that TK is upset and worried about Carlos--maybe he's being threatened by Gabriel's murderer or putting himself in a situation where he could be in danger. Carlos is trying to tell TK that everything is going to be ok when he gets a phone call that ends up being related to the danger somehow or potentially gives Carlos some information that will lead him into more danger.

Either that or maybe TK went to the pet store and they were all out of Lou's favorite crickets and so he came home devastated that he couldn't provide his lizard son's favorite food. Carlos, determined to not allow his husband to be disappointed, gets on the phone and begins calling every single pet store in Austin.

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

To be honest, I'm not quite convinced that it could possibly be hotter than 1x02. I know Ronen said that it is, but he's very enthusiastic and recency bias could easily play a role here. However, I could imagine an excellent scene following a brief separation or a moment where one or both of them were hurt or in danger. Like some life-affirming/reunion/slamming each other up against the walls of the loft kind of sex! Really, it does not have to actually top 1x02 to make me happy. I'll be happy with anything!

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

Somewhere fairly close to home where they could have some peace and quiet and relax and enjoy each other's company and gaze at each other's wedding rings and get all sappy about it. What I want most for them is to be able to rest and be happy and in love, so that's how I picture the honeymoon.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

There are so many incredible fan creations in this fandom. So many talented people! It's very hard to pick just one. The first that comes to mind in this moment after just thinking a lot about what I want from season 5 is How I linger to admire by @ladytessa74. If the show gave me a season 5 just like this fic, I would be very happy! See also: this list of the fic that brought me joy in 2023

No pressure tagging:

@lemonlyman-dotcom @ladytessa74 @she-walked-away @reasonandfaithinharmony @carlos-in-glasses

@paperstorm @vineofroses @laelipoo @herefortarlos @bonheur-cafe

@literateowl @welcometololaland @goldenskykaysani @carlos-tk @toomanycupsoftea

@autistic-lesbian-story-lover @guardian-angle22 @reeeallygood @goodways

[chaotictarlos]

Vacation Eyes

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: explicit| Warnings / Tags: 4 x 18 Coda, 4 x 18 "in sickness and in health", honeymoon sex, married tarlos, m x m smut, m x m sex, anal sex, anal fingering, ass eating

Summary: TK and Carlos start their honeymoon.

Author's Note: currently my last coda for season 4. i am so proud of myself for writing a coda for every single episode in season 4 - when i decided to write a coda for every single episode i didn't know if i could do it. i thought it was a lot of pressure to put on myself but i got it done and i'm just so happy and proud. i hope that you enjoy this fic!

title from vacation eyes by jonas brothers - i recommend listening to the song as you read this fic!

thank you to @meditating-honey-badger for the beta

and thank you to @kiloskywalker for being the driving force behind most of my season 4 fics this season. our tuesday night scream sessions became one of my favorite parts of watching ls. i adore you so much and am glad we started talking!

this also fills the square for my @911bingo "When I look at you, I see everything I ever wanted."

My other season 4 fics

--

- I got vacation eyes / And I'm gonna have 'em for the rest of my / Have 'em for the rеst of my life -

When TK wakes up, it’s to the sound of soft waves rolling in the distance, a beautiful melody of them crashing up against the shore as a gentle breeze carries in the smell of the salty ocean. TK smiles, nuzzling his face against his pillow, and stretches out his body, legs lengthening and a satisfied sigh falling from his lips as he feels the soreness of the night before in his bones. He remembers coming in late with Carlos coming in late and throwing their luggage somewhere in the front room as they found their way to each other, hands finding hips, and lips catching joining in a passionate kiss they had been holding back since they boarded the plane. They had stumbled into the bedroom, Carlos flinging the door leading to the balcony - “We’re on our honeymoon, let’s sleep with it open so we can see the scenery” - and then tumbling into bed. Their first time making love as husbands was something else entirely - TK can’t describe how it felt. 

The sunlight streaming through the half-haphazardly closed curtain feels nice and warm on his skin and brings his smile to full force. Beside him, Carlos is sleeping soundly, and TK couldn’t ask for a better morning. They’d had so many mornings where they’d woken up separately or hadn’t even gone to bed, staying up to hold each other through the nights. They’d had such a rough and rocky road to the wedding - a road that TK wasn’t even sure would lead to this moment, but now that they’re here he couldn’t be more grateful. He’s married to Carlos and Carlos is married to him. They can face all of the hurt and pain together as a unit. It’s what they do best - taking care of each other.

TK opens his eyes and rolls over, looking at Carlos’ sleeping form. His face is turned towards his, brow finally smoothed out and lips open slightly. TK chuckles softly - he looks so peaceful in his sleep. It’s a peace that Carlos hasn’t known in a few weeks, and TK wishes that he could bottle it all up and give it to Carlos when he needs it. His husband carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. He reaches over and pushes the blanket down, dancing his fingers over Carlos’ strong shoulders. TK scoots closer, pushing the blanket down further, and presses soft, ghost-like kisses over Carlos’ golden skin that’s even more brilliant and glowing in the morning light.

“Good morning,” Carlos says softly a few minutes later. His voice is rough with sleep - and probably a little rough because of how loud TK made him scream last night. The thought makes TK chuckle.

READ MORE ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @cowlos-reyes @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r @sanjuwrites @alrightbuckaroo @just-inside-her @theghostofashton @basilsunrise @heartstringsduet

[bluemagi]

Re. Jumping ship and multishipping

I've been thinking a lot about this these past few weeks, since a certain hot pilot swooped in and stole my heart. I've seen people giving other people shit for "giving up" and jumping ship, for multishipping or even just for liking and enjoying a character. And it's just weird to me how people are so obsessed with controlling other people's behaviors. Just the other day I saw a TikTok where the creator was saying that people who "jumped ship" to Bucktommy were just fetishising because they want to see two guys kissing. Which is just... a terrible take on so many levels.

I was a Buddie shipper too. I enjoyed their on-screen relationship, I saw the signs that there might be more than friendship, and I hoped that something might happen. But I have also been in fandoms for at least 20 years by now. I've been through queerbaiting, I have been through shipbaiting, I have been through relationships I previously loved being destroyed by what happens on screen. I know that nothing is promised and that we have to have realistic expectations. Our interpretations of things are usually not what the writers/actors/directors/editors intend, and so we can always hope, but we have to know that we probably won't get what we want.

I think I grew a bit bored with the Buddie ship around season 5. I was watching queer representation in other shows, like Tarlos in Lone Star, and I couldn't see 911 ever go there, especially as time went on and nothing happened, there were no obvious signs. I didn't think they would ever make Buck or Eddie queer. I still enjoyed the show for what it was and would watch when I had the time, but I wasn't obsessing over it anymore. I would watch the show and hope that either one of them would get an interesting love interest (I actually sort of liked Natalia at the end of season 6), and until that happened, I would just enjoy Buddie outside of that, in fan fictions and Tumblr discourse.

So imagine my surprise when they finally did it, when they actually made Bi Buck canon. Since Tommy had been on the show before, we already knew a lot about him, and we could also read into the difference between s2 Tommy and s7 Tommy and see that there had been a lot of development there. So yeah, I was immediately interested. The more I saw, the more interested I became. So while I can still love and appreciate Buddie, it is far more interesting to me to have actual substance with an on-screen relationship, rather than having to try to interpret and read into every interaction to see if it can relate to Buddie.

But, back to jumping ship and multishipping. I've been thinking back through my fandom history, and I realized that this is something I have gone through several times before, in one way or another. I started out with soap operas, and in those, everyone cheats and nobody is ever happy for long, so jumping ship back and forth happens. Suddenly a character is killed, only to come back to life several years later. They completely change personalities, they change faces (new actors), so things change a lot. I suppose that might be why multishipping and jumping ship is not really an issue for me. It just make sense that you can change your mind about something when more content comes out. It's sort of like a relationship. You can be happy and in love for a while, or for a long time, but things change, people grow, and suddenly that relationship is not right for you anymore.

So I was thinking back on my previous experiences with jumping ship and multishipping, and I just scribbled down some thoughts on them. Starting with....

As The World Turns - Nuke vs. LuRe

I think one of the first times I jumped ship, was from Noah/Luke to Luke/Reid in As The World Turns. An American soap that ended in like 2011. Nuke were one of the first gay male couples on American day time TV, and if you have the time, please go read about them on Wikipedia, because their story is absolutely ridiculous and overdramatic, as most soap couples are. And since this was in the 00s / early 10s, they barely shared any kisses or intimacy. At certain points we were counting the days between their on-screen kisses, and I think we went 200 days without an on-screen kiss while they were in a romantic relationship on the show, and the first time they had sex, I think they just kissed and fucking jumped on the bed or something. It was just ridiculous. But it was representation, which there was not a lot of back in those days.

Then, my beloved Reid Oliver came into the picture. He was out and proud, he was confident, successful, unapologetic, he was just very interesting. Luke/Noah was young love, riddled with insecurity and drama. Luke/Reid was more confident, more adult. And also, it was an option! Back in those days, there were barely any queer characters on TV, and now there were three guys in one show. At the point when Reid came on to the show, I was already finding myself growing tired and annoyed with Nuke, and Noah specifically. So when he showed an interest in Luke and they began their relationship, I happily jumped over.

I was then punished by the show's cancellation and that fucking train, but that's beside the point.... Moving on!

Days of Our Lives - Will, Sonny and Paul

Now this was a fun one! I remember watching Days back when I was in elementary school. My friend and I would go home together from school and watch it before doing home work. I was better in English and in reading than her, so I would be reading the subtitles out loud to her so she could keep up with what was happening. I think Days actually helped me to learn English much better. So I remembered all the drama with Sami, Carrie, Lucas and Austin, and with baby Will. And it was a bit shocking to me when suddenly baby Will was an adult (or I guess in his late teens) and was coming out of the closet. This was around the same time as ATWT, I believe, around 2010, so again, there wasn't a lot of representation on TV.

Also, side note, this was before streaming was a thing, and I lived in Norway, so we didn't even have access to everything. I had to buy DVDs to watch stuff like Queer as Folk and The L Word.

Anyways, Will and Sonny became a couple, and with that, the first male same sex couple on the show. It was the only real option, so of course I shipped it. I am again reading the Wikipedia page for this couple, and their story is quite insane. They recast the role of Will at one point, and I didn't love how the character changed after the actor was changed. So when Paul came on the show, I was immediately drawn to him. His back story was interesting and the actor had amazing chemistry with everyone. So I shipped him with both Will and Sonny (and both versions of Will, tbh). And again, you simply must read the Wikipedia article about this. It was just pure insanity.

Supernatural – Dean, Cas, Benny

We cannot talk about shipping without talking about Destiel. It is simply not possible. I'm not even going to explain anything, because we're on Tumblr, everyone knows Destiel. So unsurprisingly, I am a Destiel shipper. I can't remember when I first started shipping them, but it must have been quite early. Probably not in season 4 when Cas first arrived, but probably in season 5.

So Destiel is an example where I haven't jumped ship, but instead, I have multishipped. Cas has unfortunately not really had any real love interest outside of Dean. I honestly can't even think of any, apart from that random woman he married when he had amnesia, which... just no, dude. But Dean however, he has had some options, and I haven't hated them.

Lisa, I loved her back in the early seasons. And when he went to live with her after season 5, I didn't hate it. I knew the chances of Destiel ever happening were slim to none, so I could enjoy Dean and Lisa together on screen while enjoying Dean and Cas in fan fictions.

Later, we met Benny. And I immediately loved him. He was so interesting, he had such an interesting relationship with Dean, and I was so mad when he died. Again, Dean was never shown to be anything but straight, so again, chances of anything happening here was also slim to none. But I could happily enjoy fan fictions and content on them, alongside with Destiel.

Other honorable mentions:

I was considering writing a whole section about Robron from Emmerdale, but I realized that I am still so pissed off about that whole thing, so I don't think I'd be able to articulate anything good from that. So instead I will just use this as an example of an on-screen couple that I absolutely loved, but that I ended up hating and abandoning due to what happened on screen. I jumped that ship straight into the ocean, and swam far far far away.

Klaine! The couple that got me into Tumblr in the first place! I loved Kurt from the first season, and I was so intrigued when Blaine came into the show (I was also a huge AVPM fan, so that just made it all the better). And I really enjoyed them together for the first couple of seasons. But thinking back, I think I fell out of love with them quite early on. Their stories didn't hit the same, it got boring. I was actually more interested in Karofsky by the time I stopped watching the show, which was probably part of the reason why I stopped watching. It was quite the unpopular opinion back then. Maybe still? I have no idea.

Gallavich! I loved Shameless back in the day, and Mickey and Ian were among my favorites. But at a certain point, I got fed up with it all and stopped watching. The on-and-off stuff got boring, important things got swept under the rug, and I didn't like the treatment of Mickey. Anyway, I gave up and stopped watching. It was only years later when the show was ending that I caught up and found out they actually ended up together. Which was amazing, but still left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

Anyways, my point is that there seems to be this opinion now that if you ship a couple, you are stuck with them for life. Jumping ship, or even multishipping, is seen as a betrayal, as something horrible. Shipping Buck and Tommy apparantly means that we hate Eddie, and that we don't care about the beautiful friendship and relationship Buck and Eddie have. But that is simply not the truth. At least not for me, or for most people I have seen discussing this.

At this point in time, I am going to enjoy the beautiful on-screen relationship that is Buck and Tommy, and I am excited to see where it goes. If that relationship ends, and somewhere down the line, Buck and Eddie finally end up together, I will probably be happy (as long as it is done right, like Oliver Stark himself has said).

[sugdenlovesdingle]

I'm so many days behind but here's Tarlos @flufftober day 8: Rainy Day

The power of a muddy dog (AO3)

---

“TK, I’m running late, can you take Buttercup out for a walk?” Owen asked, rushing around the house, trying to gather his stuff.

“Why? Just take him with you. I’m supposed to be resting, remember?” TK said, barely looking up from the mindless game he was playing on his phone. “I got shot.”

“You can take him on a quick walk around the block. Just let him do his business and you both can go back to napping on the sofa.”

TK sighed and sat up, trying not to wince at pull on his stitches. Normally he’d jump at the chance to get out of the house and away from his dad’s fussing, but the weather had been foul for days and getting soaked on a walk with the dog sounded even less appealing than being cooped up in the house all day.

“It’s raining.”

“Take an umbrella. Buttercup hates the rain too.” Owen said and patted his pockets to make sure he had everything. “I have a meeting with AFD brass and then I’m going to the station to see how things are going.”

“Sure.”

“Get some fresh air. The both of you.” Owen stressed. “And who knows, maybe you’ll run into that cop you won’t tell me anything about.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” TK protested. “He’s just… this guy I know…”

“That sits by your bedside in hospital after you get shot.”

“He’s just… nice… like that.”

“Uhuh. I saw the way he looked at you. I think it’s more than just being nice.”

“If there’s anything to tell, you’ll be the first to know, ok?” TK rolled his eyes. “Now go or you’ll be late for your meeting and they’ll shut the firehouse down and we’ll have to go back to New York.”

Owen narrowed his eyes at his son.

“Are you saying that would be a bad thing? And you want to stay here in Austin?”

“It would just suck for Paul and Marjan who moved halfway across the country for this job, that’s all.”

“Is it? Isn’t there another reason? Like a certain officer Reyes I think his name is?”

“You’re going to be late for your meeting.” TK reminded him, ducking his head, trying to hide the blush creeping up on his face.

“Yeah alright. Remember to take Buttercup out for a walk before we’ll have to surgically detach you both from that sofa.” Owen said and gave a sort of half wave before rushing out the door.

TK looked at Buttercup who was happily napping at his feet and then glanced out the window before checking his weather app.

“It looks like it’s not as bad now. I guess we should go now.” He told the dog who raised his head at the word go. “Yeah, yeah come on. We’re going. Just let me put on a jacket and find an umbrella maybe.”

Ten minutes later he stepped out the door with Buttercup who was absolutely delighted to go on a walk with him and didn’t care about the rain in the slightest.

“I thought you hated rain too?” he muttered while zipping his jacket up to his chin. The rain had let up for the time being, but the wind still got him. “Isn’t Texas supposed to be warm.”

His mood was starting to sour and he just kept walking with Buttercup, letting him decide where they were going, not really paying much attention to his surroundings.

They met a few other dogs on their walk and TK made small talk with the owners while Buttercup greeted his new friends.

“I usually see an older gentleman with him.” One lady commented and TK bit back a laugh picturing his father’s reaction to being called older.

“That’s my dad. He’s at work now. I have the day off so I get to go for a walk with this guy.” He patted Buttercup’s side.

The woman asked some more questions about Buttercup and well as him and his dad and TK realised he’d met the neighbourhood busybody.

“Well it was nice to meet you ma’am but we should get going so we don’t get stuck in the rain later. Come on Buttercup, let’s go.” He gave the woman a friendly smile as he walked away but rolled his eyes the second his back was turned.

“I guess they have neighbourhood gossip in Texas too.”

He walked through the neighbourhood with Buttercup for a while until he got to a little dog park and decided to take off his leash and let him run around.

“Go, have fun.” TK said when the dog just looked around. “Go play.”

Buttercup looked at him like he was crazy.

“Go sniff something. Go crazy. Play! Come on!” TK patted his thighs to get the dog excited, without much success. “What? Are you tired already? We haven’t walked that long.” He grabbed a nearby stick. “Come on. Do you want a stick? Do you? Come on!”

That got Buttercup a little more excited and he actually chased the stick when TK threw it.

Only he didn’t bring it back and just laid down in a puddle with it to chew on it.

“No, no, no, don’t do that! Bad dog! Dad will have a heart attack if you come home all wet and muddy! I’m not giving you a bath!”

Buttercup wasn’t particularly interested in what TK was saying, or the stick for that matter, but decided rolling around in a puddle of mud was a lot more fun.

TK however was less happy.

“No Buttercup! Bad dog!” He yelled. “Get up! Come here!”

Buttercup got up from his puddle, had a little shake, and flopped back down for a round two.

“No, no, no! Come here! Come we’re going home!” TK tried but Buttercup was enjoying his  mud bath too much to pay attention to him. “Do you want to go home? We’ll go eat. Food. Do you want food? Or do you want to go see dad? At the firehouse?”

He knew walking into the firehouse with a wet and muddy dog would probably not win him any popularity contests but he was willing to try anything to get Buttercup out of his puddle.

“Come on, we’ll go see dad. We’ll go see Owen. And Marjan. She’ll give you food.” He patted his hip, wishing he’d had put some of Buttercup’s treats in his pocket. “Come on, we’ll get food. Treats!”

That seemed to finally get Buttercup’s attention.

“Yes! Treats! Come on!”

Buttercup got up from his puddle and happily trotted over to TK, sniffing his pockets when he clipped the leash back onto his collar.

“No, I don’t have them on me, but we’ll get some at home, ok? Home.”

Buttercup gave him a disappointed snort but followed him when he started walking.

Only, TK realised, he didn’t know Austin as well as he thought he did and he had absolutely no idea where he was or how to get back home or the firehouse.

“Thank god for modern technology huh.” He said to Buttercup as he pulled out his phone and opened Google maps. Only Google was no help and all he got was an error message. “Right. Plan B it is then.” He said and looked up an Austin city map.

He found the firehouse but nothing in the area that even remotely looked like the dog park they were currently at. And the map didn’t show the entire city, just the centre. He knew for a fact the house his dad had bought was in one of the suburbs.

“Ok. So that’s no help.” He looked around, trying to remember which way they’d come from. “Let’s just go back that way. We’ll recognise the way when we see it.”

He started walking, looking around for something to show him which way to go.

“I think we came from here… and then if we go left there we should get back to the road near the bus station.” He said to Buttercup who was just sniffing a patch of grass.

After walking a few minutes he felt a drop of rain on his face.

“No… please… no rain.” He muttered and looked up at the sky as if that would make it stop raining.

Thankfully his sense of direction wasn’t a complete lost cause and he did find a bus stop. Even if it wasn’t the station he’d planned to find, it had a map and a little shelter to get out of the rain.

It was starting to rain harder and he and Buttercup ran the final part to the shelter.

He sat down on the bench and took a few minutes to catch his breath before pulling out his phone again and trying Google again. Still without any luck.

He debated calling a taxi and just letting it drop them off at home, but then he noticed the state Buttercup was in, and he figured if Austin taxi drivers were anything like the ones in New York, none of them would take them.

He sighed and pulled up his dad’s contact details, but just as he was about to hit call, a police cruiser pulled over.

He frowned but his heart did a little funny thing when the driver got out and he saw who it was.

“Hey, do you need a lift anywhere?” Carlos asked him. “Buses in Austin aren’t the most reliable.”

“Oh uh I wasn’t really waiting for the bus… I just wanted to get out of the rain.”

“You can do that in my car.”

“Is that even allowed? Aren’t you supposed to arrest bad guys?”

Carlos smiled.

“I think the city of Austin will be alright for a while. There are other cops to arrest the bad guys.” He replied. “And besides, my job is to serve and protect the community. You are a part of that community… so let me provide a service to you and give you a ride.”

“Ok… but I have this guy with me.” TK nodded at Buttercup. “He’s taken a mud bath. He’ll get your car dirty.”

Carlos shrugged.

“I don’t care. I don’t have to clean it myself anyway.”

“Really?”

Carlos hesitated for a moment.

“No. But I can just pay one of my little cousins a few bucks to do it for me.”

TK laughed.

“Alright… if you’re sure…”

“Positive.” Carlos opened the backdoor for Buttercup and the passenger’s side for TK and waited for them to get in before getting back behind the wheel himself.

“Thanks…” TK said, looking at his hands. “We uh… got a little lost.” He admitted. “Or a lot.”

Carlos gave him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s fine. I just feel stupid for not paying more attention where I was going. I’m usually pretty good about finding my way. But… New York is easier to navigate than Austin.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. At least Manhattan is. Where we lived. The whole thing is on a grid and you can just count the streets.”

Carlos nodded.

“I’ve never even really left Austin.” He admitted. “My parents took me on a trip to Branson once when I was little… but I don’t remember much of it.”

“Up until a few months ago I’d never really left New York either. But I don’t recommend moving across the country. It’s the worst.” TK complained. “Though the people I’ve met here are pretty great.” He told Carlos who quickly smiled at him and made his heart do that funny thing again.

“There is a car wash near here with a doggy wash station… if you want to get him cleaned up before you go home.”

“Uh yeah that’s probably a good idea. My dad’s white minimalist interior doesn’t really mix with muddy paws.” He glanced at Buttercup in the backseat. “You’re a menace.”

Carlos laughed and drove them to the doggy wash.

“It’s coin operated but I know the owner. Just wait here, I’ll be right back.”

TK nodded but decided to get Buttercup out of the car while he waited.

“You’re going to be a good boy now alright? Carlos is going through all this trouble for us… and we like Carlos. I like Carlos.” He said, the last part more to himself than the dog.

“Alright, I’ve got a key and we can use the station and all of the supplies.” Carlos said when he returned and TK hoped he hadn’t overheard his conversation with Buttercup.

“How did you manage that?” he asked, trying to get Carlos’ attention away from anything he might have heard.

“Just… told a little white lie. I told the owner I was helping someone who had found a stray dog and that we wanted to get it cleaned up before taking it to a vet to get checked out.”

“Officer, you just lied to a member of the public.” TK teased.

“The owner is a friend of my family, it’s fine” Carlos waved his comment away. “And it’s for a good cause.”

The two men smiled at each other for a moment, letting Carlos’ words hang between them.

“So… uh… how do we get this monster clean?” TK asked him.

“Right. Yeah. Uh… follow me.”

With Carlos’ help he managed to get Buttercup in the doggy wash station and they both laughed at the moody glares the dog was giving them over the edge of the tub.

“This shampoo is nicer than my own.” TK commented, smelling the shampoo before squirting some onto his hands and lathering Buttercup up. “You’re going to smell nicer than me.” He told Buttercup.

“I don’t know, you smell pretty nice to me.” Carlos told him and TK decided the man’s smile was probably going to kill him sooner or later.

“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.” He mumbled, suddenly shy.

“After a full work day? I doubt that. But thanks for saying it.”

They got Buttercup shampooed, conditioned, and even blow dried and by the end of it he seemed to actually enjoy the pampering session.

“Don’t get used to it, buddy.” TK told him. “We’re not doing this every week.”

“I don’t know, I could help you out if you wanted to make it a regular thing. Though I probably couldn’t get away with using the same story I just told the owner.”

TK shook his head.

“It’s ok. My dad can wash him at home. Or at the station.”

Disappointment seemed to flicker over Carlos’ face but he quickly hid it.

“Alright, do you want me to drop you off at home now or somewhere else?”

“Yeah… home sounds good. I’d say just drop off somewhere close… but I have no idea where we are and modern technology keeps failing me today.” TK said, patting the pocket that held his phone.

They loaded Buttercup back up in the car, after Carlos had put down a few towels for him on the backseat so he wouldn’t dirty himself up again, and drove to TK and Owen’s house.

It turned out to only be a short drive and TK and Buttercup hadn’t wandered off too far from home.

“Thanks… for everything.” TK said after Carlos had dropped them off and he’d released Buttercup into the house. “Do you want to come in?”

“I can’t… I’m still on the clock and I don’t finish until nine.” Carlos said apologetically. “But… I have a few days off starting Monday… maybe we could get together then? Grab a bite to eat? I could cook or we could go out somewhere.” He was starting to ramble and TK smiled and put a hand on his cheek.

“You’re sweet.” He said and kissed him.

“Is that a you’re sweet but no thanks or…”

“It’s a you’re sweet and I’d like that a lot. How about Tuesday?”

Carlos beamed.

“Tuesday sounds great. Around 8? My place?” he asked and TK nodded.

“Sounds good. I’ll be there.” he replied and kissed him again. Because he wanted to. And because he could. “Though maybe I should come pick you up. Just to make sure you won’t get lost again.”

[noxsoulmate]

WIP Wednesday

Hey, my friends, guess who's back 😊 first of all, I would love to thank all of you who kept tagging me even though I was absent, especially @carlos-in-glasses, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, and @bonheur-cafe - it means the world to me 😘

As you can see, I'm finally back to working on my Tarlos Titanic AU 🥰 and to start us off, I decided to show you their first meeting (kinda... it's not the whole scene...)

Since I'm still struggling with my decision on tenses I'm handing you this scene in both versions. Below the cut, you'll find the same scene in past tense and also a little poll. It would mean a lot to me if you could please take the time to see which version you prefer and let me know 💖

But now, without further ado, let's dive back into 1912 and a little pub in the shadier parts of Southampton...

Version 1: Present Tense

TK wants to stay in this place forever because it gives him a sort of calm, a sense of freedom that he has rarely felt in his life. 

And there’s also Carlos Reyes.

Seeing the man walk in their direction, it’s as if a Greek god himself stepped out of an old painting, and TK hasn’t been able to truly breathe. Hearing his voice for the first time sends shivers down his spine and only twenty-seven years of strict etiquette lessons are to thank for not embarrassing himself at that moment.

When their gazes meet, TK’s sure that time stands still for just a little while and he only hopes he isn’t imagining the man’s gaze lingering on him for a little longer.

He’s hardly able to follow the brief exchange between Carlos and Judd, but he is jolted back to life when they shake hands. Carlos’ hand is warm and while it is certainly roughened from whatever work he does, it still feels soft in its own way. 

And maybe TK is imagining that hand on his body while he’s caught in brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

When they settle down, TK feels Carlos’ shoulder press against his side, heavily aware of every movement the man makes. It has the little hairs on his arm stand up, and he’s just barely able to suppress shivering in pleasure at the warmth radiating through his body.

He truly tries to concentrate on the conversation around the table, but… well, there is a very distracting presence right next to him. The reason, basically, why they snuck out and came here. And now it’s sitting right next to TK, so who can blame him when Grace, Judd, Wyatt, when the music and the chatter all around them soon become background noise. His mind focuses on the way Carlos is basically attached to him, their sides pressed against each other, from their legs right up to their arms.

When he moves his head, he sees the man’s profile, sees the way those warm eyes rest on their group – but a moment later, they are on him, and his breath catches in his throat. Still, he manages a smile that he hopes looks less nervous than he is and far more flirty. Carlos’ brown eyes are captivating, and damn, TK has to turn away again, or else he might do something rather stupid.

Trying hard to concentrate back on Grace and Judd – who are currently laughing about something that TK completely missed – he isn’t prepared for the feeling when Carlos’ body moves, leaning closer into him.

”Would you care to dance?” 

The question is whispered into his ear, Carlos’ lips even closer than he anticipated, and this time, he is unable to stop the pleasant shiver it sends down his spine. He turns just enough to catch his gaze again and if Carlos hadn’t moved, TK knows their lips might have very well touched. 

“I would love to,” he tells him truthfully. 

Version 2: Past Tense

TK wanted to stay in this place forever because it gave him a sort of calm, a sense of freedom that he had rarely felt in his life. 

And there was also Carlos Reyes.

Seeing the man walk in their direction, it was as if a Greek god himself had stepped out of an old painting, and TK hadn’t been able to truly breathe. Hearing his voice for the first time sent shivers down his spine and only twenty-seven years of strict etiquette lessons were to thank for not embarrassing himself at that moment.

When their gazes met, TK was sure that time stood still for just a little while and he only hoped he wasn’t imagining the man’s gaze lingering on him for a little longer.

He was hardly able to follow the brief exchange between Carlos and Judd, but he was jolted back to life when they shook hands. Carlos’ hand was warm and while it was certainly roughened from whatever work he did, it still felt soft in its own way. 

And maybe TK was imagining that hand on his body while he was caught in brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

When they settled down, TK felt Carlos’ shoulder press against his side, heavily aware of every movement the man made. It had the little hairs on his arm stand up, and he was just barely able to suppress shivering in pleasure at the warmth radiating through his body.

He truly tried to concentrate on the conversation around the table, but… well, there was a very distracting presence right next to him. The reason, basically, why they’d snuck out and come here. And now it was sitting right next to TK, so who could blame him when Grace, Judd, Wyatt, when the music and the chatter all around them soon became background noise. His mind focused on the way Carlos was basically attached to him, their sides pressed against each other, from their legs right up to their arms.

When he moved his head, he saw the man’s profile, saw the way those warm eyes rested on their group – but a moment later, they were on him, and his breath caught in his throat. Still, he managed a smile that he hoped looked less nervous than he was and far more flirty. Carlos’ brown eyes were captivating, and damn, TK had to turn away again, or else he might do something rather stupid.

Trying hard to concentrate back on Grace and Judd – who were currently laughing about something that TK had completely missed – he wasn’t prepared for the feeling when Carlos’ body moved, leaning closer into him.

”Would you care to dance?” 

The question was whispered into his ear, Carlos’ lips even closer than he had anticipated, and this time, he was unable to stop the pleasant shiver it sent down his spine. He turned just enough to catch his gaze again and if Carlos hadn’t moved, TK knew their lips might have very well touched. 

“I would love to,” he told him truthfully. 

Noxy’s Tagging List:

@detective-giggles, @sgirl18, @firstprince-history-huh, @beautifulhigh, @rangergurlgleek1211, @shadesofdeviant, @actuallysara, @carlos-in-glasses, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @wtfuckevenknows, @paperstorm, @lightningboltreader, @meditating-honey-badger, @just-inside-her, @alidravana, @morganaspendragonss, @bonheur-cafe, @heartstringsduet, @ravens-words, @lire-casander, @otter-love-asl, @ramblingdisaster73, @first-kanaphan, @xtltokio, @buckybarnesalways, @mangacat201, @catanisspicy, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @a-kinkajou, @juuls, @paxdracona

[howtosingit]

S4 E1 Thoughts

Overall I definitely thought this was one of the show’s weaker episodes. It felt messy and clunky and not really what you expect a premiere episode coming back from an 8-month hiatus to feel like. I thought there was too much carnival but also not enough interesting carnival moments. I also pretty much completely checked out after the Tarlos bunk room scene as my brain struggled to wade through that mess, so I just don’t have much to say about all that Owen stuff and Tommy’s new guy 🤷🏻‍♂️ But obviously I’m gonna have some thoughts about the Carlos plot. Oh, that Carlos plot. I will say that, generally, I’m not excited about it. There are things that I get and there are things that I don’t, but honestly at this point I’m just hoping that it can be salvaged by the end of this 4-episode arc. 

There is always a certain amount of handwaving that you have to do with a show like this, when it feels like the writers are just pulling stuff from out of nowhere and throwing it at the characters. Tim has very much gloated about writing this way for the past 4 years, so it’s not a surprise. For me, I think that Carlos has very much escaped that kind of free-spirited story slinging in the past, so it’s unfortunate to see him now be the center of some of it. Anyway, now that a bit of the shock (though we really did all see it coming) has worn off, I’ve been able to sort some things.

What I Get:

I get Carlos coming out to his parents, them not reacting the way he wanted, and then his willingness to please everyone in his life leading him to try and “fix” his problem.

I get him being friends with Iris and him only getting close to Michelle when she disappeared. I’ve had that thought since season 1, so while it wasn’t explicitly planted that season, obviously there was something there to infer.

I get that Iris was the only person there for him after his coming out and that she loved him and he loved her, even if not romantically, and she was feeling just as lost as he was, so these young and confused kids (around 18-20, I’m guessing) made a decision that felt the best for them at that time (or the only option really)

I get that the marriage didn’t work out, that maybe their friendship was damaged as a result, and so they walked away from it all. They grew apart. They saw other people. Iris met Dustin and at some point, her mental health began to suffer.

Then Iris disappeared and for 3 years, Carlos came to terms with the fact that she was dead. He got close to Michelle, and tried to move on. I get that that’s where he’s at when we first meet him.

Then he meets the man that he knows almost immediately he wants to marry, but it’s rough and not straightforward and complicated. Also, Iris is alive! But Iris isn’t doing well, so she needs his healthcare to get the help she needs. Of course Carlos isn’t going to deny her that. And he’s right at the beginning of his relationship with TK, so in Carlos’s mind it doesn’t need to come up right then 🤷🏻‍♂️

So, like, I truly get how and why everything happened the way it did in the beginning.

What I Don’t Get:

I don’t get why they didn’t get a divorce when the marriage first fell apart. Carlos just says it was complicated. Maybe that means we’re getting more of it in the next few weeks, maybe “it’s complicated” is all we’ll ever get. But I still don’t get it.

I don’t get how Carlos was not a bigger deal in the investigation into Iris’s disappearance/possible murder. Like, I’m sure he had an airtight alibi and it was 3 years later when we met him, but... how did this never come up? This just makes Detective Washington look bad at her job, honestly. Not a single mention of their marriage status during all of those conversations? 

I don’t get why it took this long for Carlos to tell TK. Sure, at the beginning of their relationship, maybe it didn’t need to be said since the marriage was really just a piece of paper at that time. But did they never talk relationship history? They moved in together, they bought a loft together. How, at the very least, did it not come up during the conversations about Carlos’s will? Or even during the proposal? Why the damn delay? Especially when he presented it this episode as such a non-thing... it would’ve been even more of a non-thing if he hadn’t waited until they were LITERALLY. GETTING. MARRIED.

[This one I’m going to answer here because it has a reason but not a good one: it’s a TV thing. It didn’t come up before now because the writers weren’t interested in it coming up before now. While I do buy the relationship history between Carlos and Iris being established back in season 1, I do not buy that it was a marriage. I think that was created solely to happen during the Tarlos season 4 wedding plot to complicate the Tarlos marriage. So, Carlos Reyes as a character is suffering and being dragged through the dirt because the writers just decided to make this a thing EVEN THOUGH THE MAN HAS BEEN WITH TK FOR THREE FULL SEASONS AND TAKEN ALL OF THESE STEPS TOWARDS A LIFE TOGETHER. The writers failed Carlos here by thinking that the top of season 4 was the right time for this to come out and that it wouldn’t undermine so much of his character from the past 3 seasons.]

I don’t get TK being so damn chill about it. I hope he doesn’t remain so. That scene was incredibly painful to watch. I didn’t understand either of them. I didn’t understand what was happening. I just didn’t get it. I hope TK gets a moment to really feel about this in the coming weeks because oh my fucking god

[Though let’s be honest, Carlos hasn’t always gotten the opportunity to feel about things either so I guess TK is just getting that same treatment at the moment. The show loves to be like “nah they’re all okay with this now” and just skate on past.]

I don’t get Gabriel and Andrea. Sure, their son comes out to them and they hug him and tell him they love him. Sure, they don’t bring it up again because they think it’s best not to spotlight it or make it into a big deal (I get that impulse, even if it’s a misstep). But then their gay son brings home a girl and then marries her and they just... never talk about it?? According to Carlos they have literally never said another word about his sexuality to him. So, okay, sure, they’re probably thinking the gay thing was a phase and so they accept Iris. But then that marriage falls apart... do they ever ask why? Then Iris disappears. Do they... react at all?? Then they see Carlos at the market with TK and apparently immediately know that they’re together so... the gay thing is back on the table?? Without any conversations in the years between?? And then they’re just like “Yes, TK, we love TK!” But they never question why Carlos never tells TK about his marriage?? And then they get engaged and it’s not the first thing out of someone’s mouth?? What the fuck is going on with these two and the weird-ass whiplash that must be happening in their minds?

[I realized as I was writing that maybe since it’s established that Gabriel and Andrea never brought up the coming out again, maybe they also decided to just never bring up the marriage again to Carlos after it fell apart or after Iris disappeared? Which begs the question... DO THEY EVEN KNOW IF IRIS IS STILL ALIVE?? I tell ya, these next episodes better crack this Reyes family wide open or I swear to god...]

Other Thoughts:

That bunk room scene was really not great at all. Oof, that writing. It felt choppy, so I think they definitely cut a number of lines throughout it. Also, it was just a giant exposition info dump that ruined the flow of the scene’s emotional arc. They had to wedge in the reveal, remind everyone exactly who Michelle and Iris were, have Carlos poorly explain his reasoning, establish his shame and guilt that is clearly going to carry through the next few episodes, have TK be understanding so that the wedding isn’t just suddenly called off, and get us back to the venue update to set the timeline. There’s literally no room for any of it to breathe. Ronen and Rafa do the absolute best they can with dialogue that nearly suffocates them and becomes more confusing as the scene goes on. They struggle to find the through-line of it because it’s just... you can see the puppet strings! OOF. That needed another pass for sure. Or to just, y’know, go in the garbage bin altogether.

FINAL: I really dislike this. I’m convinced that it’s going to be a thing for 4 episodes and then, like everything else in the Reyes family, never mentioned again. It sounds like Carlos is really going to crack open as a character during this arc and while I am incredibly excited about that and I know Rafa is going to do great work, I wish it didn’t have to be riddled with plot holes and characterization inconsistencies. I wish it didn’t taint the return of these characters. I wish it didn’t (slightly) taint all of the great things that we’ve gotten before this. I don’t know what it’s going to do for the future Tarlos scenes, at this point I’m feeling hollow about them. I guess I’ll know in about 3 weeks when they wrap this all up and move on from it. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to move on from it just as easily as Tim Minear... 🙃

But truly, would it kill a whole fucking room of professional writers to actually think through major character decisions like this?? Did anyone ask any questions at all??

Okay, I’m done for now.

[heartstringsduet]

Tarlos drabble prompt: Carlos got injured and almost died but he didn't and TK is having feelings about that

Slipping under

A lake nearly killed TK once, millions of shards lodging into him as he was submerged under a thick layer of ice. And yet it’s Carlos…

And yet it’s Carlos

And yet it’s Carlos

“Babe?” Carlos’ voice sounds like the pebbles gathered at the bottom of the sea. His skin is dry though. Dry again, and a little tacky from the salt of the ocean and the coarse sand Carlos had been dragged out onto. TK had just grabbed them ice cream, Carlos had just wanted one more dip in the water. There are white speckles on TK’s feet and sandals from when TK dropped it, seeing a body lying on the shore, someone performing CPR, and knowing it was Carlos. He just knew. 

“Baby, you think very loudly.”

TK blinks and schools his face back into neutrality. He looks up at his husband, gently running the back of his hand over the gauze covering Carlos’ brow from where he collided with a log yesterday’s storm had brought closer to the shore. “Shh, you don’t need to stress your throat anymore by talking. Just go back to sleep, okay?” 

Carlos’ eyes are blood-shot, lips dry, skin paler. He has three cracked ribs from the pumps to his ribcage that first the man who saved him and later TK performed. Again. He had pumped Carlos’ still heart alive again.

Carlos’ eyelids flutter shut under his touch, but then he brings his hand up to TK’s wrist. His thumb stoked the fine tendons and veins. TK can feel the cool gold of his ring against his skin. “I’m okay.”

“You nearly died,” TK reminds him, trying for humor because anything else would pull him under the riptide. “And that’s my job. Don’t steal careers.”

“Not funny,” Carlos mumbles.

“A little funny.”

Carlos cracks one eye back open. “You saved me again.”

“Actually, a Mr. Karakis saved you. I kind of gave him all the money I had on me to thank him. Don’t panic, it was comically little. Like five Euros? I spent the rest on ice cream we will never eat and remember how you insisted on after sun lotion and--”

“TK? I’m fine. Really.”

TK blinks up into the bright light of the hospital bed and then curses it for making the tear slip past his eyelashes. Carlos nearly drowned today. The dazzle of the clear water would never be the same, knowing it had nearly dragged his husband under. But they’ll be fine. They’ll buy new ice cream and eventually, on the last day of their wedding anniversary trip, they walk along the shore, letting waves lap at their ankles. TK will always insist on swimming together after this. And Carlos will always insist that TK will buy the warmest winter jackets, even in balmy Austin.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Hi Lemon! 💛 28 & 29 please!

Thank you Dalawa!!!

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Call Me If You Get Lost this one was kind of a flop in terms of reader engagement, but in my opinion it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. It’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s got action and quick banter. It’s got Tarlos on a beautiful estate getaway. Also, it is a whole story with conflict and a climax and a cute little happy ending. I am really proud of it!!

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I don’t know if it’s my favorite favorite, but I was just reading this Tarlos-Nancy-Mateo scene from Sunshine On My Body, Rainbows Bloomin' In My Skies last night and laughing at how funny and in character it is.

“Hiking?“ Nancy asked, an eyebrow quirked in disbelief. Turning to Carlos, “You’re gonna take this guy into the wilderness? You know there’s no hospitals out there, right?”

“Oh my god, shut up, Nancy,” TK whined.

Mateo and Nancy had come home when TK and Carlos were wrapping up in Owen’s garage. TK trailed behind Carlos from the side door, Buttercup nutmegging through his legs, making their way into the kitchen as Mateo burst in through the front door with a package, bragging to Nancy about the new haul of Pokémon cards he’d won in an intense eBay auction.

They all stood around the kitchen island now, Mateo fighting with the tape on his package, using one of Owen’s undoubtedly expensive kitchen knives to try to cut through the thick packing tape. Nancy was sipping from a gold and white straw that stuck out of the fluorescent pink drink she’d come home with, sitting atop the drink was a mountain of bright blue cotton candy, a cookie unicorn horn and rainbow sprinkles. It looked like a goddamn pride parade in a cup, Carlos thought.

“Broken leg, bee sting, dehydration, sunburn, snake bite, hypothermia again." Nancy was saying now, ticking each item off on her fingers.

“What are you on about?” TK’s New Yorker was coming out. A subtle hint that he was feeling a little more sensitive about Nancy’s teasing today than normal.

“Just a few of the most common hiking injuries,” she smirked around her straw, eyes rolling to the side like they did when she thought she was being particularly funny. “Knowing you, you’ll find a way to get all six.”

“Hey!”

“Okay.” Carlos knew when it was time to step in. “Thank you, Nancy, but I think we’ve got it under control.”

“If you say so,” she responded in a sing-song voice.

“Thanks, babe.” TK smirked at Nancy.

“So,” Mateo jumped in, eyes trained down on the box in front of him. Grimacing in concentration as he said, “Where are you guys going?”

“There’s a park out in Lakeway,” Carlos replied, grateful for the change in subject. He loves Nancy, loves that she and TK have such a sibling-like relationship, but the bickering can be a little much sometimes. “It’s got a few trail systems, one that takes you out to a lake. We’re probably gonna do one with a little more elevation, try to work our way up to some longer hikes.”

“Sick,” Mateo said, sawing the knife back and forth, he was finally making some leeway with the packing tape. “I’ve never been hiking, maybe we can come sometime.”

“Babe,” Nancy said forcefully, slamming her drink onto the counter with a slosh. Maybe she was feeling extra sensitive today too. The unicorn horn tilted precariously, the cotton candy mountain wobbled, sending dislodged rainbow sprinkles cascading onto the counter and floor. Momentarily Carlos wondered, are sprinkles like glitter? Had Owen just been sentenced to a lifetime of finding shiny sprinkles around his kitchen; one at a time they’d appear, glimmering from the grout behind the sink, hiding behind the spoons in the utensil drawer, years later still worn into the grooves of the kitchen floor tiles.

“You want to climb a mountain,” she was asking a stunned looking Mateo. Her now-empty hands outstretched and gesturing enthusiastically. “I can't even get you to go to barre class with me.”

“Because that’s for chicks!”

TK immediately cut a look to Carlos that screamed danger.

“Oh shit,” Carlos said, making a show of looking at his watch. “We’re having lunch with my mom, I told her we’d be there in like 15 minutes. We gotta go. Bye!”

Mateo and Nancy both turned to look at him, Nancy with a skeptical look and Mateo one of genuine concern.

“That’s right, babe.” TK all but shouted, his face clearly trying to mask a look of relief. He grabbed Carlos by the bicep and started pushing him towards the front door. “Can’t be late to see your mom. Sorry guys!”

“Have fun!” Mateo called as they scurried past him. “Say hi to your –”

They were out the door before he finished.

Ao3 wrapped

[kiloskywalker]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday!

Thank you so much to my bestie/future possible podcast host (lol) @chaotictarlos.  I now give to you a few more than seven sentences from my upcoming Tarlos Fighter Pilot AU, “Take My Breath Away” coming later this year. *** *** *** “You’re doing it again!”  Marjan said.  “Dude, if you’re infatuated with him or something you should just go up and talk to him rather than stare like a crazy stalker.”

“We’re supposed to be competitors, Firefox,” Carlos replied.  “Besides, he’d probably just ghost me.”

“Remember what Captain Ryder literally just said?  You’re supposed to learn how to be teammates.  Maybe you’ll learn something from each other if you’re both not trying to constantly one up the other.  Besides, when we’re up there, I need to make sure that you have my back and that you’re not just thinking about ways to beat him,” Marjan countered.

Carlos was starting to get a little tired of people having good points in their conversation.  Marjan was right, Carlos definitely needed to at least get to know TK, maybe definitely in a context that was wildly different from their previous encounters. 

He took a big swig of his drink before standing up and walking toward the other pilot, rolling his eyes at Marjan’s “attaboy, go get him!” as she patted his back.  He mentally prepared himself, trying to think of polite conversation topics, but his mind went blank when TK turned around and spotted him.

TK smirked as he saw Carlos walking toward him, he had to admire the other man’s confidence for sure.

“Lieutenant Carlos,” TK said cooly, “of all the gin joints in all the world.”

“Lieutenant Strand,” Carlos said, his voice flat.  He looked at the other man up and down, admiring the way his Navy khaki uniform hugged him in all the right places.  All of his rational thoughts flew out of his mind as he imagined undoing each button on his uniform while kissing him senseless.  He forgot about his previous distaste for the other pilot, and was only consumed by how fucking gorgeous he was.  Lieutenant TK Strand was undoubtedly a ten, and Carlos couldn’t get him out of his head.  In more ways than one.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were in the Navy the last time we–” he said without thinking, not willing to even finish the sentence.

TK smirked again, and Carlos could feel himself getting weak at the knees at it.  What was happening to him?

“You mean during our last encounter?  Our little rendezvous in the bathroom?  You didn’t ask, and to be frank, it seemed like you had other things on your mind at the time.”

“Yes, but we’re competitors,” Carlos said.  “Competitors don’t–”  He stopped himself again.

TK half-laughed.  “What?  Suck each other off in the bathroom of a beach bar?  Yeah I think you’re right about that part.  It would make watching sports a lot more fun.” *** *** *** I am still hard at work on this fic in between my busy work schedule and having some modicum of a social life.  I’ve never published anything I’ve written before online so I’m excited and nervous for the rest of it to be finished. I’ll tag anyone reading this who wants to participate since I don’t want to pressure you if you aren’t willing to share/aren’t working on anything at the moment.  Just know that I love to read other people’s fics as well (even if they’re WIPs) and I will gladly hype you up or lend my prompt gremlin services to you.  Ask @chaotictarlos, my powers are great.  Thanks for reading!  See you in the skies!

[paperstorm]

there are some rumours going around that we're going to see enzo in the new season bc one of the guest stars in the new season is playing a character named enzo and there is a chance that it's going to be some random dude who says one sentence and is gone again but if its really THE enzo and they actually remembered his existence what do you think could the storyline be? 🤔 the whole talk about tarlos' story this season being a rollercoaster makes me think maybe the fanfiction idea that some had where either something happens with enzo or he has some project and needs someone to take care of jonah for a bit and asks tk to do it might be a thing? bc carlos obviously said he doesn't think he wants kids so them being asked to care of a kid would be a challenge for the couple plus ronen said in a recent interview again that he would love for them to have a kid plus rafa said that a storyline is happening that he is excited for and even though it could be carlos finally dying (just kidding) if i remember correctly rafa actually once said that he would love to see them have a kid (that was before carlos said he doesn't think he wants kids) so...a lot of thoughts happening here right now. but i really would love to see enzo and see his dynamic with tk but also with owen. i feel like that could be hilarious.

If it's true I am SO excited to meet Enzo and potentially Jonah, almost just entirely for the proof that the writers/Tim haven't forgotten they exist 😂 I don't need them to become super big characters who come back all the time but just give us SOME indication that TK hasn't completely abandoned the little baby brother he was so concerned about in 3x08 and then never mentioned again lmao. I hope we do get to meet them.

But tbh I have to say as much as I am usually on board for whatever this crazy show wants to do, one thing I would absolutely hate to see happen is a kid being forced on Tarlos by some kind of circumstance. Idk I think truly I would just hate that, I guess it would depend on how it was done but. The way that discussion was handled in season 4 I thought was so good, I despise plotlines like the one in Brooklyn 99 where Jake had valid reasons to not want to be a father and then was essentially shamed into it. Carlos's choice to not want to have kids is SO valid and I want it to be treated as valid. Even if he does change his mind later, I want it to be because he has actually changed his mind, not because he's pressured into it or does it to make someone else happy or a kid is forced on him by circumstance. The idea that you have to be a parent to be a whole person is so toxic and heteronormative even when we're talking about queer people, and there are so many humans in this world who only exist because their parents felt societally pressured and then weren't good parents because they never wanted to be in the first place. Idk I do kind of assume that if we get more seasons they will have kids at some point just because that's the world we live in. But I just want Carlos's feelings and choices to be respected, and I feel like forcing Jonah on him is the exact opposite of the writers respecting his very valid feelings.

[rmd-writes]

I challenged myself to write a holiday fic for each of my fandoms this year, with lots of fun tropes and Hallmark vibes for each of them. It was a stretch to get all three out in the time I gave myself, but eight weeks and almost 33,000 words later, I did it!

and then one day, everything changed

david x patrick | T | canon divergent au | 9,186 words | written for the Frozen Over Fest

All David wants to do is sign Marcy Brewer on to sell her amazing fudge at Rose Apothecary. Unfortunately for him, her very snippy, business consultant son gets involved. In an effort to win both Marcy and Patrick over, David invites Patrick to spend some time in the store and on a vendor trip. There’s snow forecast for the day of the vendor trip, but it’s Schitt’s Creek and it never snows. Right?

Make the Yuletide Gay

tarlos | M | college AU; fake dating | 19,694 words

“I'll be your boyfriend for Christmas."

Carlos stares at him like his brain is struggling to comprehend what TK is offering. It's a shared feeling, given that sometimes TK's brain engages before his filter does, and this is definitely one of those times. There’s no room for regrets, though, and he’s not really sure he regrets making the suggestion.

“TK,” Carlos starts softly. "What you're suggesting is— Well, it's a little crazy but also very generous. I can’t ask you to do that for me. It’s really too much to ask of anyone."

TK gets up off his bed and crouches in front of Carlos, his hands on Carlos’s knees. “Firstly, you're not asking, I’m offering. Secondly, consider it a social experiment, like the ones you learn about in class. Except this one directly involves you and me...as your fake boyfriend. You know, for science."

—

Fake boyfriends. For science.

We all know how this story goes.

you’re all that i need

firstprince | M | coffee shop AU | 3,992 words

“Alex.” Henry leans against the wall behind the counter with his arms folded, wearing a pale blue cable knit sweater with the sleeves pushed up and navy chinos. Alex wishes he wouldn’t because it only emphasises his forearms.

He crosses his own arms in response. “Henry.”

“Are you actually looking for a book?” Henry asks with a sigh. “Or are you just wasting my staff’s time?”

“That staff member is my sister.”

“I’m well aware,” Henry says drily. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably wasting her time. Which book are you looking for?”

“Oh.” Alex grimaces slightly. “I’m not actually–” He exhales. “Hunter is in the coffee shop, so I got the fuck out.”

Special thanks to @pragmatic-optimist for betaing Make the Yuletide Gay, @celeritas2997 for betaing you’re all that I need, @welcometololaland for the unhinged comments in my docs (and so much more), and to @howtosingit for coming up with the titles for all of these fics, including the sc fic when he doesn’t even go there 💖

[chaotictarlos]

I’ve always dreamed of me and you, now here we are

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: Explicit | Warnings/Tag: Secret Dating AU, Social Worker!Carlos Reyes, Professor TK Strand, ex’s to lovers, warnings to be added, smut in later chapters, m x m, anal sex, m x m smut

Summary: It’s a tale as old as time, meeting the right person but during the wrong time of life. TK Strand and Carlos Reyes dated in college but parted ways when they graduated, not knowing they would ever see each other again. Six years later, Carlos is working as a social worker in Travis County and TK has just accepted a position as a professor at The University of Texas at Austin. They run into each other when a mutual friend invited TK out for the evening.

Authors Note: I stepped away from this fic for a few months because some people can be so mean and hateful that they made me feel like I shouldn't continue it because they didn't like the direction the story was going / how the characters were being. I'm still struggling with this fic, but I'm trying to overcome it because not every fic has to be liked be everyone. Not every fic is written for everyone. There are millions of fics out there and I don't like every single one of them. That's okay. There are plenty of Tarlos fics that I don't like, but I don't make it the author's problem because it's not their problem. If you don't like this fic, that's okay but keep that to yourself. If you do like this fic, I would like to hear about your thoughts. I'm going to try and get back into this and get it finished up soon, but we'll see how I feel about it.

Thank you to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing for me. I hope you guys are enjoying this fic as much as I am! Leave me a comment and check out my other fics!

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven

---------

Chapter Eight

--------

When Carlos shows up at the place he’s supposed to meet the guy that Marjan has set him up with, he’s early - almost too early for it to be considered normal but he’s nervous. It’s been some time since he’s gone out on an actual date and not just found someone at a club or bar to hook up with for the night.

He takes a look around the restaurant, trying to decide if he wants to find a table to sit down at or get a quick drink at the bar - when his eyes land on TK.  

Carlos feels his stomach turn slightly. 

TK’s out on a date and for a moment that’s all Carlos can focus on. He looks hard at the man he’s with and realizes it’s not Michael. Carlos also knows Michael - there was a time when Paul tried to set him up with Michael but he wasn’t really Carlos’ type.

No, this is another guy. A new guy.

Carlos feels his stomach twist into knots and the unfamiliar and ugly feeling of jealousy fills his veins too. He hates the feeling but the longer he stares at TK and his date, the more it grows. He turns on his heel and heads straight for the bathroom, needing a moment to breathe and get his head on straight before his own date arrives.

Carlos steps up to a sink and grips the edges, looking down and letting out a deep breath. He’s being ridiculous, is what he’s being. There’s no reason for him to continue to pine after TK and what could have been. If TK wanted any part of that - of him - he’s had plenty of time to say something but instead he’s gone on a few dates with other men - which is fine, TK owes Carlos nothing and Carlos knows that.

He looks up at his reflection and reminds himself that he has also had plenty of chances to tell TK that he still has feelings for him and has thought about what it would be like to try again, but he hasn’t said anything either. He rubs a hand over his face and tries not to mess up his hair.

He squares his shoulders and looks at himself intently.

READ MORE ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @a-j-cowwley @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r

[outrunningthedark]

Not a dig at Tarlos, but I think Tim overestimate that the promise (read: dangling a carrot) of a gay wedding would make fandom/viewers tolerate bad writings that follows before it and if I'm being honest a complication to that right at the beginning of the season, a complication with very minimal buildup at that, turns off part of the fanbase and general audience.

Right. I would think the ratings will improve now that Carlos is going to be in trouble because viewers have always appreciated him, but to make a story line about Iris, a character that I'm sure the general audience hasn't thought about since season one (and doesn't have reason to because her sister doesn't work with the 126 anymore)...that was a misstep on Tim's part. And, look, I think we can come with at least one explanation for why he may have wanted to keep his original plan going years later (Iris is able to talk about the stigma surrounding her mental illness, bringing more awareness to the audience), it's just...in a show with a crowded cast...a plot like that is gonna leave a bigger impact if you give it to a main. Iris is here to shake things up and then...she'll be gone. Forgotten.

To echo what you've said, IA that there seems to have been a lapse in judgment re: who LS is writing for. Buddie fandom has no problem coming up with excuses for why something is "good storytelling" even if it isn't universally loved by us and the GA - Buddie was never expected to happen, so we "have to" let the writers adapt as they go along. But Tarlos? The whole point is that they're the anti-Buddie (from a fan's perspective). From day one there's been no doubts about how they label themselves, or how they feel, or who they'll get in a relationship with, and that automatic confirmation/representation made people *want* to watch the story unfold. To decide four seasons later that one half of the couple is already married - to a woman - because of conformity that was never even discussed (not talking to your parents about who you're dating/seeing is a long way from believing they'd like you better if you became a fake hetero husband) is just...WHO thought that would go over well with the audience that praised you for not playing games???

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Tarlos @flufftober day 4 (day 3 is still in the works but will be posted later today!)

Alt prompt #5 "Oh no, you're a morning person!"

The first morning (AO3)

The morning after the first time TK spends the night at Carlos' place

---

Carlos woke up and could barely move. For a second he thought sleep paralysis had taken over his body, but then he felt a puff of air on the back of his neck, and he remembered the night before.

He smiled to himself and slowly, carefully, turned around.

Next to him, or rather, clinging to him like an octopus, was TK.

TK who had finally agreed to spend the night and didn’t run a mile in the middle of the night.

He watched TK sleep and barely managed to stop himself from reaching out and running his fingers through his hair.

It had been a rough few months for them but they were finally in a good place, only despite spending most evenings at Carlos’ place, TK had never actually stayed over. Until last night.

They’d gone out to the club they’d taken Paul to a few weeks earlier, and they’d danced and just let loose, knowing they’d both have a few days off coming up.

Afterwards Carlos had, almost on autopilot, driven them back to Owen’s place, only for TK to stop him and tell him to turn left to his house instead.

They hadn’t even done anything but snuggle up in bed and sleep, but Carlos couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy.

After allowing himself to look at TK a little longer, he carefully slipped out of bed and went downstairs. He was going to make TK breakfast in bed and make their first morning together special.

He opened the fridge and sighed when he saw its contents . He hadn’t planned on TK staying over and he hadn’t had the chance to go grocery shopping yet that week.

He briefly considered getting fresh pastries from the bakery down town TK had mentioned he liked, but he didn’t want to risk him waking up in an empty house thinking Carlos had run off.

“Looks like there’s enough for pancakes here.” He mumbled to himself. “And I still have some of that green tea he likes and those bananas are still ok to eat.” He shook his head when he realised he’d been talking to himself. “First sign of madness, Reyes.” He turned the radio on for background noise and got to work.

He wasn’t really listening to the music, just humming along while he cooked until he vaguely recognised a song his mother loved. He remembered catching his parents dancing to it in the kitchen on more than one occasion.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.” He quietly sang along, thinking of TK and maybe dancing to the very song with him some day.

“Oh no, you’re a morning person.” He suddenly heard from behind him, making him jump and turn around. “If this is a regular thing, this isn’t going to work.” TK joked, looking unfairly attractive for someone who had apparently just woken up.

“You're supposed to be in bed! I was going to make you breakfast in bed!” Carlos scolded him, when his heartrate had returned to normal.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. I got lonely.” TK shrugged, pushing himself off the doorjamb and walking over to Carlos, wrapping his arms around his waist. “And then I heard you down here and I thought I'd come enjoy the show.”

Carlos laughed and leaned in for a kiss.

“What can I say, I'm in a good mood.”

“Yeah? Any particular reason?”

“I don’t know. I had a good night’s sleep. It’s a nice day…”

“It’s raining.”

“Maybe I like rain.”

“No you don’t, you hate rain because it messes up your hair.” TK teased.

“That was one time!” Carlos protested. “And it was because I wanted to look nice for you on our first official date.”

TK’s face softened and he pressed another kiss to Carlos’ lips.

“You looked great babe. You always do. It’s not fair really.”

“Hmm… says the man who looks like a model when he’s just woken up.”

“Shut up. You’re my boyfriend, you’re biased.” TK said and Carlos briefly wondered if he could feel his heart skip a beat at the mention of that word. It wasn’t the first time TK had called him his boyfriend, but he still felt giddy every time.

“What are you making?” TK peeked over his shoulder at the stove.

“Pancakes. Is that alright?”

“Sure.”

“What? Don’t you like pancakes?”

“No I do, I do. I just... never really eat breakfast. I usually just have a smoothie and back in New York I’d just get a coffee and whatever pastry looked semi fresh from the bodega near the firehouse.”

Carlos frowned.

“You can’t live on coffee and a pastry. Let alone work a full shift.”

“I don’t know. I’d just rather sleep a little longer than get up to cook.”

“From now on, I’ll make you a real breakfast whenever I can.”

“From now on? Does that mean this will be a regular thing?” TK asked innocently.

“I hope so. I like waking up next to you.” Carlos said and kissed him before stepping out of his embrace and turning his attention back to the stove. “Sit down, they’re almost done.”

“I thought I was getting breakfast in bed?”

“Get back to bed then, I’ll be up in a sec.” Carlos ordered, making TK laugh

In the end they settled on the sofa together, enjoying the pancakes and each other’s company with the radio in the kitchen still playing mindless pop songs.

“You know that song is actually about a man.” TK said around a bite of food.

“What song?”

“The one you were singing along to in the kitchen earlier. Can't take my eyes off you. Bob Crewe wrote it after waking up next to a man one morning and not being able to stop looking at him.”

Carlos gave him a questioning look.

“How do you even know that?”

TK shrugged.

“My mom is a musical theatre fan. She'd take me to shows all the time back in New York. We saw Jersey Boys four times I think. The story of Frankie Valli and the four seasons. She knew the guy who played Bob Crewe somehow and he told us that after the show one time.”

“So what you're saying is that you are a secret theatre kid?” Carlos teased. “What other trivia do you know?”

“Not much. I was just reminded of it when I saw you in the kitchen. I think I understand Bob Crewe now.” TK said and pressed a kiss to Carlos’ shoulder.

“Yeah? Are you going to write a song about me then?”

TK laughed.

“If I do, you’ll be the first to know.”