#and I want to see teru struggle

[minamotosousuke]

Teru’s right in almost everything, except his one big glaring flaw is that he overlooks Kou’s emotional struggles. By deeming them less than his, he’s caused Kou to suffer alone.

But we already can imagine how Teru would react to finding out how he’s unintentionally treated Kou, so it’s hard to be mad at him.

[hanazawat]

thinking about how cool, calm, and collected teru was always a front to begin with. it became a reality he had to adapt to in order to survive.

the reality teru has before meeting mob is this: he lives on his own, he asked to live alone, no one has visited his apartment, his parents live overseas, he believes himself to be the only natural born psychic there is, he has been targeted by a terrorist group trying to kidnap him and brainwash him into being a manufactured esper soldier, all the other espers he has met have been claw grunts

the has lead teru to believe he is the main character of this world. he is arrogant, egotistical, thinks he is better than others due to his powers, and uses his powers to get his way without ever revealing he is an esper. this has gained him popularity status and morphed his perception of the world and himself

from the second he meets mob his world is flipped on its head

first off, teru is shocked to see mob is a natural

[ID: two screenshots of teru. in the first he says “are you a natural” in the second : “there’s another like me?” /END ID]

he wants to ask mob questions about it! (and im mad we never get to know what they are!) but his fight or flight kicks in. the only espers he’s met up until this point have tried to attack him. he does the only thing he knows and he needs to establish that he is more powerful than mob. in the episode prior, he tells the body improvement club that people always underestimate him.

[ID: first screenshot is of a stormy sky. teru says: “society always underestimates me…” second and third screenshots he is standing in front of the body improvement club saying: “fools who don’t try to look beneath the surface…that’s why you’re so easy to control.” /END ID]

i’m still not entirely sure what this is in reference to. who in society? just being a kid in the world? the fact people dont expect him to be a powerful esper? in context it refers to strength and size, so that perhaps? he mentions fools that are easy to control…so it could be his classmates?

earlier he says

[ID: screenshots of text teru says. “Those pieces of trash lying around here are the symbols of my authority within my life at school. And now that you’ve shattered that, you’ve basically thrown mud in my face.” /END ID]

first of all, wonderful foreshadowing here. second, teru is acting cool and calm during this altercation. he sees what he’s up against. a group of big burly guys, but commoners nonetheless. he can take them down with ease and he does.

then enters mob, who teru hadn’t noticed, saying that he shouldn’t use his powers on other people. immediately, the suave and cool guy we’ve seen teru been up until this point is SHOCKED.

which returns us to my first point. teru goes into fight or flight mode. all the other espers he’s encountered in the past, he’s had to fight. he needs to prove he is better than them in order to establish him being the best.

so, he tries to get mob to fight him. and we know how that goes, mob refuses. he knows it’s wrong to use your psychic powers against other people because it can lead to others getting hurt. this only makes teru angry. why isn’t this other guy trying to fight back, isn’t he on the same page? if he was here for a reason, he would be fighting. but no, mobs reaction is to become friends…which teru rejects.

teru sees this as a mockery of his powers. why would anyone want to work on bettering other parts of themselves? his powers made him special. they gave him attention and the life that he wants. why would someone who also has that gift refuse to use them? someone who appears weak and got himself tied up by his lackeys…why is he refusing to fight? this is making teru angrier and angrier. he’s going to go after mob with his full power to prove he is the best!

and then this guy says:

[ID: screenshot of teru in his fighting stance with mob in the background. mob says: “If it wasn’t me, you could hurt someone.” /END ID]

and teru loses it

[ID: close-up shot of teru. he says: “quit underestimating my powers!” /END ID]

teru’s not looking to rationalize or listen to what mob has to say. he wants to fight so he’s going to do what he can’t to get mob to fight back, constantly pushing him more and more, until oops, he gets ochimusha’d. and of course his ego and appearance is all he has, so vanity pushes him from making fighting threats to killing intent

and then mob has a moment of clarity, we all know the scene. “I just realized why you hold such animosity toward me. you don’t like me because we’re the same.”

and mob hits the nail on the head. without psychic powers, teru has no confidence in himself. his ego is built on them alone. take them away and he has nothing. no more standing out. he’s scared of that realization, that without his powers he is just a lonely, average person.

all of this is right, but, what mob doesn’t know is that he’s adding salt (ha) to teru’s wounds he also is afraid of confronting. mob doesn’t know teru’s circumstances, he’s rightfully calling him out but, teru is a terribly lonely child. he even admits in a quote above that his authority (as a powerful esper) only extends to his life at school. what about outside of school? does teru’s ego and confidence remain where he doesn’t have authority and power?

when teru is choking mob out, flashes of the perfect life he made for himself appear before shattering (told you it was foreshadowing). we see him doing well on tests, getting praise from classmates and teachers, doing well in sports, getting cookies and being asked out from girls at his school…all school-related activities. there is one exception. one thing that was only shown in the manga: teru’s mom

[ID: manga panel of Teru’s mom. “I’m proud of my son, Teruki.” she says.]

when we know nothing about teru, this just seems like another line of praise teru has gotten to fuel his ego. but we do know things about teru that makes this…questionable. this is the only appearance we ever get from teru’s parents in the entire series. teru lives alone without his parents, parents that work overseas. he’s been living alone for a few years now and even before then his parents weren’t around often. he’s 14. those parents don’t visit him often and he’s left alone during school vacations. vacations where he doesn’t know how to relax. teru has also been attacked by a terrorist organization. he knows this organization brainwashes child espers into becoming part of a manufactured esper army. he knows this because he overheard it while fighting an adult esper who was trying to kidnap him.

i would be hard pressed to argue it’s not implied that teru’s behavior is a result of coping with neglect and trauma. just cover up all those issues with the idea you were put on this earth to be the main character. you aren’t weird or lonely, you’re special and powerful. your powers make you confident because they’re cool! the things you do with them make people like and pay attention to you. but don’t let them know you have super powers, it’s just your natural charm.

it’s weird how the majority of praise teru gets comes from school, but he has never invited classmates, or anyone for that matter, over to his apartment.

[ID: manga panel of a outside shot of teru’s apartment. teru says: “this is my apartment. you’re my first visitor, by the way. dimple-kun told me everything.”]

there’s some sort of metaphor here with teru’s apartment, but i can’t put my finger on it. it’s just curious how how teru breaks from being told he’s nothing and lonely without his powers. but his apartment is a place away from school where he’ll be alone with no need to show off. he would get no attention at home either. why was mob your first visitor to an apartment you’ve had since the start of middle school. you are the most popular student at your school as a 2nd year student. you said you don’t know what to do with yourself in the summer…why don’t you have any real friends?

why was mob the first one?

teru you’ve said so much with the things you haven’t said.

if teru is so afraid of admitting he’s lonely, why does he say this when mob passes out/teru thinking he killed him?

[ID: screenshot of mob passed out on the floor. teru says: “wait! don’t leave me behind!” offscreen. /END ID]

also why does he mention this beforehand?

[ID: screenshot of teru being punched in the face by mob. he says “people can’t change that easily” /END ID]

perhaps he is projecting. perhaps he is afraid to change…seeing how his hands are wrapped around another boy’s neck that tried to befriend him. someone that noticed he was lonely and that he had put up a front this whole time. that the praise he gets is superficial and he has no true friends. maybe he is afraid of being himself because being yourself means confronting that loneliness.

[ID: four panels of the manga. first one is teru walking away from mob’s passed out body. it says: “kageyama shigeo vs hanazawa teruki. the first encounter between two espers has ended in a tie. the second panel shows a storm cloud with rain falling. it says: “teru couldn’t surpass mob’s psychic power. mob couldn’t protect himself perfectly either.” third panel shows teru looking down pensively. it says: “both refused to back down from their principles, the result is…there is no winner…only a feeling of emptiness remained in their chests…” the forth panel has no narration. teru faces the viewer, away from mob’s body. he looks past the viewer, he’s eyes narrowed. /END ID]

what do you think he’s thinking here?

[quirkle2]

the angst in your zombie au bREAKS MY HEART INTO PIECES (I LOVE IT VERY MUCH)

okay, okay, so!! if the kagebros got separated from reigen and teru when mob is still fine, i imagine that their reunion would be hEARTWRENCHING also, i'm a bit curious, would mob still be able to recognize teru and reigen? or would he thought about them as strangers?

(tbh, following your lore, i imagine mob would act a similarly like nezuko from demon slayer? but instead of little hums, his zombie sounds would more like babbling and incoherent mumbles :"D)

the reunion is fuckin AWFUL man it's SO gut-wrenching. both reigen and teru feared this for Months while looking for the brothers; pretty much the worst case scenario was that mob or ritsu or Both turned—a lot of humans prefer death over being a zombie any day, so the idea of ritsu or mob having to go through that and wander around aimlessly until starvation or smth else gets them,,,

it hurts them so much to think about. teru forces himself not to dwell on it and he's pretty good at that but reigen thinks abt it a lot and he's honestly not sure what scenario is worse. best case is that they're both alive and unturned, obviously, but what's the worst case? you'd think it's both of them getting killed, or turning, but reigen also knows that if One of them got killed/turned, the other would probably lose their mind, especially if they had to watch. the fact that they're kids makes this all three times worse and reigen has to act like he's Not worrying himself sick over the brothers while he tries to keep teru in high spirits

the reunion itself is rly fuckin gut-wrenching for them. they see mob from afar, wandered off just a bit from ritsu and tome who are just around the bend looting a place, and they book it bc ofc they do, it's mob!! but then they see how pale he is, and when he turns around they don't see that light in his eyes that's usually there and the red is dulled and dead looking,, teru almost moves in for a hug before he realizes mob looks vastly different when he Rly takes him in, and mob doesn't rly react too much besides staring at them blankly. the obvious answer is almost too horrifying to even consider, so it takes them a minute to rly,,realize what's going on

tome comes around the bend and shouts, cuz when humans and zombies mix it's usually guns pointed at zombie heads. ritsu comes running out after her and when he sees reigen and teru his thoughts go, in order: holy shit is that reigen and tero ohmygod oh my god they're alive they're alive ohmy god i could fucking cry, and ohmy god they see shige ohno oh no oh no

ritsu sounds like a lunatic when he pulls mob away from them on instinct and says that he's safe to be around and that he's "still him" and he's "not gone" and he's very aware of that. he's very, intimately aware that he sounds fuckin crazy, bc ofc he does, this is what all the crazy people in zombie movies sound like. but he doesn't care, he doesn't care if reigen or teru dismiss him as nuts—he has to make them understand that his brother is still in there somewhere

and yeah, they both kinda think that ritsu's lost his marbles a little bit, but while teru is focused on that and the fact that mob doesn't look like he's rly tuned into Anything that's happening rn, reigen is a bit more focused on the fact that both ritsu and mob look awful? they're both very skinny and very dirty, obviously barely scraping by. they're cut up and ritsu's jacket is basically blood and dirt with a little bit of green fabric mixed in. and just by the look in ritsu's eyes, reigen can tell, man ... reigen can tell ritsu is like.not okay at this point he's kinda lost it.

i think the most painful thing about this whole reunion in general is that later that night, when reigen and teru r finally like ok we get it he's,, he's still mob. we believe you (they want to believe him... [they Do believe him, later, wholeheartedly]) and they settle down someplace safe, teru asks how long mob's been like this. and ritsu has to answer "since we got separated" and they both have that to stew over while everybody else sleeps

they realize that ritsu likely watched mob turn, watched the entire process, and that process takes a long time. it's at least a week of deteriorating motor functions and cognitive skill, and the fact that ritsu stayed for that to keep mob company is .ough. and it doesn't end there bc ritsu obviously stayed after that too

given how these things usually go, ritsu probably did think about killing mob. it probably did cross his mind, bc that's basically what everybody's been told to do. kill them before they have a chance to do any more damage. and it's obvious that ritsu did not have it in him

ritsu not only did not have it in him to kill him, he didn't even have it in him to leave him there. the kid fucking took him with him. a zombie. and he's somehow made it work, for months. and the next few days are filled with watching him still treat mob like a brother and take care of him and gently steer him away from a bird he tries to follow down the wrong street.ritsu is as gentle and kind as he's ever been with his brother. and even tho they're both hungry and tired and barely making it, ritsu is doing a rly good job taking care of mob with what he's been given

the kid obviously wholeheartedly believes in a cure and that mob is still There. he's gone through the trouble to take care of him, and the grief of continuously seeing a loved one that many would consider effectively dead, to get him that cure. to get him his brother back. and mob doesn't seem to be in any pain or distress, so reigen and teru think that this path ritsu has followed is probably infinitely kinder than the mercy kill method they've been taught to do

i think they have a new respect for ritsu, after that reunion

[mari-lair]

I love that zombie extra! I believe Teru didn't take Kou seriously, much less understood what Kou had tried to imply, since his answer wasn't related to the idea of them losing their humanity, jumping straight into the destruction of humankind.

The shrine joke also had the destruction of humankind as his main point.

I believe in both cases he is only half joking: He won't kill anyone, we never see him injure other humans, much less display killing intent towards them, there is a reason the school sees him as a kind boy, (Akane is a special case, I talk about why he is a dick to Akane: Here), but part of Teru genuinely wants humanity to cease to exist.

Even the characters seem to sense this isn't fully a joke.

Teru's reaction to Kou's question was "Eh?- in that case", not taking his eyes off the movie, so he is more focused on the movie than Kou and his question, but Kou had gone "You can't do that..." and looked away from the movie, acting like it was a confession instead of a joke. Akane and priest Kunishige also did not like the vibes Teru was giving, unable to dismiss his words as merely dark humor.

The context in which Teru joked is important too. At the shrine, he jokes after the idea of cutting ties with the shrine, essentially quitting his job, is brought up

This job basically fucked up his life since he was 8, making it impossible for him to be normal. Even free time was scarce, so I am very inclined to say part of him resents it.

'The right and heroic thing to do' is something that doesn't come naturally to Teru, but he consistently has to go out of his way to choose to do it, doing his job for years.

Out of all his duties as an exorcist, he only one he seems to connect with is slaying supernaturals. The most destructive and instinct-related part of the job is the one he claims to be "cut out for".

It doesn't seem 'fun', Teru even sighs when he shares that he is good at killing spirits. But he doesn't hate it. That's something.

In the zombie extra, he makes this 'joke' while he is having fun with his family, seeing fictional people be destroyed. He has been struggling to dutifully play the role of the "hero that destroys monsters" every day so he can't find escapism on the idea of slaying zombies.

Destroying everything for destruction sake's, with no obligation or honor behind it seems far more fun.

And doing it with Kou? That would be nice.

Now, let's go over his reaction to Kou bringing up the idea of being a supernatural.

This isn't a movie. This is his little bro, the main motivation he has for slaying supernaturals despite not being something he personally like spitting in his face by asking "What if I threw all your efforts away? What if your determination was for nothing?"

Kou being a supernatural would be a big defeat to Teru, not a fun idea he wants to join in, so I don't think Teru would be a supernatural too if Kou became one.

...We have no solid panels that indicate what his reaction could be, but I headcanon it would make him quit his job and try to either protect supernatural Kou or make him move on peacefully.

(perhaps even try to gain the courage to exorcise him? I am not sure about this one, but since Teru seems to pity supernaturals, claiming it's 'hard to look' at their desperate attempts to linger to the Near Shore, and most supernaturals treat being exorcised by a loved one as a good thing, he may do it if Kou asks??)

[phantomrose96]

So I'm one of those people who had to take a break reading ABoT. Part way through reading I thought of that writing advice that goes something like "look at the current scenario and figure out how things can get worse" and decided ABoT was applying that advice with both fervor and finesse. It had me hooked through multiple all nighters and it wasn't until, ironically, the ending of chapter 37 where Reigen is standing in the remains of the Mogami house that I stared at the next chapter button and realized I would absolutely not be able to handle more, mentally or emotionally, if this fic kept following the previous advice. So I set it aside for a month to recover, tentatively poked into the next chapter tense and ready for things to continue spiraling, and gradually started to relax and unravel until...well, you know. I remember having to put my phone down and take a walk with the reveal of everything that Ritsu had incidentally caused (even if the blame can be pinned on basically everyone in some measure, but that's a whole other essay in my notes).

When I reached the current cliffhanger, I waited a scant day before starting all over, this time slower, more careful, and with a more analytical eye. Not for critique, but because I was confused. That writing advice from before, I'd seen it implemented both poorly and skillfully, and ABoT used it with a finesse I've yet to see anywhere else, and I had to figure out how. What made what can be boiled down to a high stakes wild goose chase so compelling? Why couldn't I put this story down until my emotional limit couldn't handle any more? How could I learn from this and make my own writing better? What did this have that I clearly lacked?

I don't think it was until after Teru's and Ritsu's first fight that it clicked for me. I stared at that scene, then my own characters, and realized I'd written two of my own meeting in a similar fight and had neglected any form of consequences. My characters became friends because of a mutual friend. Because that was the end goal I wanted. I had that omniscient knowledge; I knew I wanted them to end up as friends, so I wrote the most objectively logical decision to make.

Except. These characters aren't objectively logical. They make the decisions that look the best to them in the moment, even if those decisions are bad, or horrible. A character who's been soundly beaten into the ground by another won't so easily become their friend, even if their opponent is the nicest person ever. There's distrust and fear. They're going to make bad decisions. Things weren't getting worse for the sake of getting worse. They got worse because of the direct (bad) decisions of the characters.

Once I realized that, I was struck with such violent inspiration I wrote something like 11k words worth of scenes and revitalized my own love of writing in a day. I was so stuck on the end goals I forgot about the struggles in between. I had gotten so focused on grand, overarching conflict, I forgot how compelling it can be to just have two characters punch each other in the face. Too much of my writing had stuff happening around the characters instead of happening TO or BECAUSE of them. I had forgotten character conflict, and when I started writing those flaws, I couldn't stop. I was having too much fun!

Sorry for rambling about my own stuff, I just wanted to convey how much impact you and ABoT have had on my own creative endeavors. I've been inundated with too many stories, fics, movies that occur on such big planet-wide scales with dire, multiverse threatening levels of conflict, that when presented with a long form tale of a kid desperate for his missing brother, told from the perspectives of a small, well developed and spectacularly characterized cast, in a single city, told with stakes that made me care more than any threat to the world, it was like a breath of fresh air. So I guess this is a thank you for ABoT as a whole and a thank you for writing Ritsu the way you do.

Unfortunately for him, he's an inspiration.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YES YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT

ABoT, if nothing else, is a story about its characters. Everything that happens with consequence to the plot can be traced back to a character's own decisions. The characters' wants and needs and actions and faults all come first, and the plot follows accordingly.

(And maybe that sounds obvious.) Aren't stories about characters? But there are so many stories where the characters are just kinda... there. They're blank slates to receive the plot happening around them. Many things they try to do have no consequence. They'll try to take action and the plot will carry on exactly the same as though they'd never even tried, because the writer doesn't want to figure out how that character action might matter. Or a character will do something awful and the plot will just brush past and forget, no consequences or continuity, because the writer had their fun in the moments but now they care about getting the plot back on track, and that would be annoying to work around. They create stories where you can't put your excitement and investment in the characters cuz you just... can't trust they'll matter.

The most important thing about ABoT, to me, is that the characters are making it happen. The good, the bad, can all be traced back to decisions characters had the active choice in making.

I have plenty of fun joking that ABoT is one of those "oh my god it keeps getting worse!!!" stories, but I never ever do that by just dropping random terrible things from the sky. It's always the characters. It's them and it's their consequences of everything they've set in motion, or fought against, or allowed to happen. It's always a thread, thoroughly traceable, spawning from character actions which drives everything both good and terrible (and SUPREMELY terrible) that happens. It will always be the characters.

And I really, truly believe this is what I'm doing to make what is ultimately a wild goose chase featuring less than a dozen people worth reading. When Ritsu fucks up, it's worth caring about because you know this will impact the course of the story. When Reigen succeeds, it matters because he does have a grip on the reigns of the plot and has the chance to better this for everyone. When a character does anything, it matters because is about them, and what they're desperately trying to achieve.

And when a scene isn't about "an action with a consequence", it's still a scene with a point. For any scene I write I always make sure I can answer "what's the point of this scene?" Mob and Reigen reopening Spirits and Such isn't about to barrel the plot forward, but it's hearty and important character development for them. It's the "why should I care about this future being snatched from their grip" when everything goes wrong.

When everything went bad bad around chapter 32, and tumbled worse for many chapters to come, it was me finally tipping over the first domino in a chain of dominoes the characters themselves have been setting up since the start. It went bad not because I arbitrarily decided to fuck with them, but because everyone's actions carried consequences.

Even with ABoT's WORST possible outcome, where Mogami comes out the victor with everything he wants, all others crushed beneath him, this will mean the ruination or death of about... 10 people. A blip on the news. An "oh isn't that sad?" when a second kidnapped son never makes it home, when a conman goes missing (not noticed until a month later when the rent comes due), when a police officer kills his wife and himself, when an orphan kid vanishes off the map from Black Vinegar mid. And life would carry on. And the sun would still rise every day. And no part of this would end the world.

But if I'm doing this right, I want that outcome to feel like the end of the world. I want it to feel worse than that, given what a quiet and unsung tragedy it would be for all these personal efforts and struggles and desperate reaches for betterment are snuffed where they stand. Because they tried and it mattered and they failed anyway.

It IS just a wild goose chase centering around a kid who wants to have his kidnapped brother back, and it's 350k+ words to me.

dfjkdfnkjdf so anyway, I am very clearly super thrilled you were able to see this! It all ties back to character weaknesses and strengths, consequences of actions, irrational responses to situations fueled by character, and not by logic, and the audience knowing that what these characters do will matter. I love stories where humans are messy. I love stories where the tragedy happened because of them, where you can trace the thread back and find exactly how it all went wrong. I love clashing personalities. I love character spirals you can see a mile away and yet you know exactly why the character did that. I love yelling at the pages while knowing that realistically, this character wasn't going to do any better than that. I love knowing exactly how things could have been avoided, and knowing exactly why they happened anyway. I love seeing consequences stick. I love seeing characters matter. And I'm goddamn thrilled you feel that way too and that ABoT could make you find the way to do that in your own characters!!!

[butterysalt]

Sour Confessions

Pairing: Reigen Arataka x GN!reader

Rating: Teen (16+)

Summary: After the season 2 fight against Claw's leader, everyone crashes at Reigen's apartment for the night. But when the kids finally fall asleep, the adults are left with their own troubles and no one to comfort them.

Word Count: 3.1K+

Contains: A lotta fluff + angst (self-deprication HURT/COMFORT BABY), swearing, alcohol, awkward romantic pining, Parental Energy TM, tired writing

A/N: I think I fumbled a lot with trying to plan out the course of this fic and the themes I wanted to touch base on. I'm not entirely happy with how it came out but I still hope you'll enjoy! I am So Smitten for this man.

You sit on the cool platform of the balcony after your shower, your hair still somewhat wet as you let it air dry. You lean against the thinly grated railing, gazing mindlessly at the giant broccoli that rooted itself in the center of Seasoning City. Unlike the chaos that took place just hours before, the night is quiet and serene. The city had its share of psychic damage and infrastructures that needed repair but, that was for tomorrow to worry about. Now, it was time to rest.

The screen door behind you carefully slides open with an old un-oiled squeal. You turn to look over your shoulder and catch Reigen scowling at his screeching door frame with a tired, displeased expression on his face.

It looks like he just finished showering. Some water beads still drip from his half-dried hair. He’s finally out of his torn, ashen suit and wearing some comfy lounging shorts to pair with his ugly bear shirt. You’re not sure if this is an upgrade or worse. He looks back down at you and smiles.

“Hey.” You smile back at him.

“Hi.”

“You getting chilly out here?” he whispers.

“Only a little. It’s nice, though,” you look out towards where the white moon teases the tops of buildings far away, “Being able to get some fresh air and all that.”

Reigen hums in agreement and shifts his weight onto his hip as he leans against the doorframe. He matches your gaze and shares this moment of silence with a gentle sigh.

“Well, why don’t you come back inside? Don’t want you falling asleep out here and catching a cold in the morning.” You stand back up with a gentle grunt and join him back inside the warmly lit apartment. When your eyes finally adjust to the interior you find yourself holding back a laugh at the sight in front of you.

Since everyone’s homes had been compromised by psychic attacks and fires, Reigen offered to share his apartment space, at least for the night. Mob, Ritsu, Teru, and even Dimple are scattered in various positions across Reigen’s apartment. Mob was reserved the couch while the others splayed out on the floor nearby. It’s a sweet sight — all the kids finally getting the rest they need.

“Geez, out like a light already. It’s only 10,” Reigen laughs, hiding the fact that his own eyes were struggling to stay open too. You could see the fatigue in him evidently by the way he slouched his shoulders forward and slowly moved his eyes with this hazy look.

You watch the green glow from Dimple’s round and wriggly form rise up and down beside Mob’s head on the couch. There was some fascination in the way his motions mimicked the boy’s slow human breathing. You murmur, “I didn’t even realize spirits could sleep.”

The comment elicits a soft chuckle from Reigen. He walks towards his deshi and stops just shy of the edge of the couch before crouching down and watching the boy.

You join his parental gaze from a distance. “You’d never guess he was the same kid that took down Claw earlier today with how calm he looks sleeping.”

“...Yeah. He really went all out today,” Reigen sighs, brushing a section of Mob’s bangs out of his sleeping eyes. The middle schooler scrunches his face for a second then relaxes, smiling in his deep sleep. The master strokes his student’s head a few more times and watches dejectedly.

“He’s incredible for his age. I mean, look at how much he’s done already! This kid is so good in every single way. But… I worry for him sometimes,” Reigen thinks back on the fight just a few hours ago and how he stood by, unable to do anything as he watched the kid get tossed around and twisted like a ragdoll. He cringes a little at the memory and frowns deeply. “I just can’t imagine the kind of stress he’s experiencing at this age.”

There’s this urge to reach out to him and hold him, telling him it’s okay. That it’s not his fault. Because you know he’s thinking it. After all this time working for Reigen, you could say that you’ve got his mannerisms down to a T. The way his brows twitch downward when he’s caught off guard or how the edge of his lip trembles when he doesn’t like something. He’s especially silent when he’s stuck ruminating in his head or when he starts stimming his fingers without realizing it.

But there are also the times when he’s laughing just a little too hard at something you’ve said or when he tries to hide the warm glow on his cheeks by turning his head away and biting back the smile on his face. Or more recently, when he’ll fix his hair every 5 seconds or have his hand on the back of his neck and talk extra-fast when he’s happy. Little habits like that remind you of why you love going to work every morning.

“Hey, thanks again… For uh, agreeing to stay the night and help with all the kids and stuff despite it all being super short notice,” he mentions as he pulls the blanket a little higher over Mob’s sleeping shoulders. He turns towards you but looks down, sweeping a tuft of hair away from his face before rubbing the back of his neck and smiling softly.

“I don’t know if I could’ve managed on my own.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s the least I could do,” you say honestly. Reigen pulls a tight-lipped smile.

“I know. But… still.” The two of you share a brief moment, staring at one another. You quickly start squirming and break the silence.

“I could really go for a lemon sour right about now.” Reigen lifts his head and looks at you with wide eyes. His brows jump up once he processes it.

“Oh- Wait, really?” You nod back at him with a teasing smile. He laughs back in amusement. “Hah. I… Yeah, I can certainly do that. You’ve come to the guy for one of those. Just- Hang on,” Reigen mumbles as he disappears around the corner to raid his kitchen. You smile to yourself watching him scramble off, nearly tripping as he tries to make the least amount of noise.

The blonde quickly returns after a few soft thuds with two aluminum cans in either hand and nods past you, breathing a little heavier. “Wanna sit outside?”

“Yeah. You got your bearings?” You eye his disheveled appearance. You swear, this man can’t do a single thing gracefully. Reigen barks in a hushed tone to avoid stirring the kids awake.

“Look, I just- You never drink let alone a sour! It’s like an event! I’ve been dying to drink one of these.” You snort under your breath and slowly open the squeaky screen door for him. Once you’re outside, you both settle into different sitting positions on the concrete balcony. Reigen leaning back onto his elbows and you sitting on your legs.

The conman tosses you an icy-cold can. You catch it easily and the two of you crack the drinks open to take long sips. Reigen swallows his drink with a loud, obnoxious sigh. You roll your eyes at his ill table manners and look back at the view in front of you.

You weren’t sure what it was about the moon that pulled you in so easily. Maybe it was the comfortable haze that surrounded it as it rose to its peak of the night sky. Or the idea that there were millions of others around the world sharing this experience with you at this very moment. The man next to you suddenly started giggling to himself.

“Geez,” Reigen laughs, “Look at us both.” You raise a curious brow before taking another sip.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just- This scene of us drinking alcohol late at night like. Stargazing or whatever. Reminds me of being a teenager sneaking out to drink,” he snickers into his can. It fascinates you every time to watch the alcohol visibly enter his system. The peachy glow of his cheeks as he laughs and how his eyes get a little heavier as he gets more giggly. But he’s not shit-faced drunk. Not at all. Comfortably buzzed seems more appropriate.

“What, did you drink a lot as a kid? Is that what you’re telling me?” You poke fun at him. “Not a very good example you’re setting for these kids, Shishou.” Reigen snorts and sits up, resting his chin in his hand as he gazes forward.

“I meant that as like. Teens in general, you idiot. There are a lot of stupid things I did when I was younger. But no. No alcohol,” he shuts his eyes as he reminisces. He rocks back on his arms, bumping his toes in front of him in a little rhythm. The cool air helps level his head and he hums lowly in thought.

“To be honest. I think I was a broken kid.”

This comment catches you off-guard. You turn your head to him and he’s still looking out at the city past the railings. The small smile on his lips fades away as he takes a deep breath in.

“I just… I keep thinking about Mob after everything that happened today. He practically handled all of that by himself… I almost got killed trying to save him. And in the end, he saved me anyway.”

“I think… I’m just finally realizing that that kid is more capable than I want to believe. He’s not 10 anymore. He’s grown up so much. Does he even need me anymore?” he wonders aloud with a twinge of pain in his words. “I was nothing like him when I was his age. I mean- Aside from the powers, of course.”

You watch as he clenches and unclenches his hands, picking at his fingers. “I would say I’m jealous but that doesn’t feel right. ‘Jealousy’ is… a dirty word. I’m proud of him. Really. He’s amazing. All these friends, people who love and support him. Even some young love,” he laughs half-heartedly. “I think I just sort of wish I had that too. That something special about myself.”

Reigen purses his lips and sighs deeply. “And now I’m disappointed that I didn’t try for anything back then.”

You’re not sure what brought upon this sudden confession. Perhaps the stress of the day finally caught up to him. Maybe it was the lemon sour kicking in. But one thing you knew for sure: Reigen never opened up first.

He chews on the inside of his cheek in thought then clears his throat. “Sorry for springing that on you out of nowhere. That’s not fair to you. It’s been on my mind for a while and I didn’t know what to do about it.” He lifts his can to his lips and takes a sip, sighing at the sour taste down his throat. He turns to smile at you. “Don’t worry, just forget about it, okay?”

His words bring you no comfort as you fidget next to him. You know that he’s not expecting you to coddle him. He’d much rather have you just ignore him and pretend it didn’t happen. But his words don’t sit well with you.

“...Reigen,” you start, “Growth doesn’t stop once you become an adult. From how I see it, you’ve been growing with Mob this whole time. That boy trusts you so, so much.”

He keeps his gaze down, boring holes into his lemon sour. You lower your can beside you and breathe in.

“That kid is incredible but… so are you. You do have what he has. I mean- Just take a look inside of your own apartment.” Reigen’s body visibly stiffens. He shuts his eyes, seemingly fighting himself. It’s when he realizes that you’re not going to take your stare off of him that he turns to look through the screen door behind him.

“These kids look up to you,” you reason, “They need you just as much as you need them. Maybe more.”

“And… most importantly,” you breathe, “You’re the reason why Mob is as fantastic as you think he is, you know.” Reigen’s breath hitches. The air is trapped in his throat and he turns to look at you. He looks like he’s about to burst with his wide, fearful eyes. But he also sees you for once. And he sees the hurt in your expression. The way your brows tense towards each other and the grimace on your lips. It hurts him.

“Give yourself more credit, Reigen. He’s not going to forget about you. You two are stuck together whether you like it or not.” He lowers his gaze from your eyes to his lap. His hand raises to his face and he covers his eyes.

And then he laughs.

“ ‘Give myself credit’? Oh, come on.” You frown.

“I’m serious. I’m not just saying that to-”

“No, you’re right, you’re right, it’s just,” he looks back up at you and smiles at you. “How could you say all of that and not mention yourself?”

You stare back at him blankly. “What?”

“Do you really think I could handle all of that by myself?”

“You did.”

“Yeah. All thanks to you.” You furrow your brows and shake your head quickly.

“What? No, no that’s not what I was trying to say-”

“Damn it, will you stop it?” Reigen leaned forward now, waving his hand erratically in front of your face like a madman. “It’s my turn to gush about you. Let me have some of the fun with all the crazy amazing shit I have to say too.”

Your entire body freezes up at his sudden assertion. Reigen breathes heavily upon you with almost manic energy about himself. He shifts into a position where he can prop his leg up and runs a hand through his hair bashfully.

“I mean, you’ve supported me so much over the years. Like, seriously. Who else would be as crazy as I am to just. Go along with some impulsive guy because he read something in a crappy paper ad? Listening to all my dumbass ideas even if you know most of them aren’t going to work? And for what? So that we can have a little fun while it lasts?”

“And I feel like that’s just how a lot of my life goes. I try something new and I get bored and then I repeat that again and again and again until I’m sick of it. Just trying to make something last for a change because nothing ever does for me.”

Reigen’s talking speed slows down and he’s no longer rambling. His eyes have a certain tenderness in them when he looks back at you. “You and Mob? You two… are the only things in my life that I will never get tired of.” His stare pins you in place and you feel a shiver rip through you.

“Reigen…”

The blonde leans closer to you now, dropping his head low. “L/n, you ground me. You get that? You make up who I am.”

You’re speechless. You feel like your entire world is spinning with the night sky soaring around you. Your mind tries to convince you that it’s some kind of dream. But he’s really here in front of you, staring at you with needy eyes that speak for themselves.

“I’m sorry. A real grand speech I did there. You just can’t even begin to see how much you mean to me. And it’s so freaking annoying.” You raise your hand to his face and brush a section of soft blonde hair away so that you can see his eyes a little more clearly.

“Reigen,” you mutter, “Do you really mean all that…?” Reigen grabs your hand and squeezes it, bowing his head down.

“...Yeah. Of course, I do.” You pull a tight smile and hold his face with one hand, rubbing small circles on his cheek with your thumb, savoring the velvety texture of his skin underneath. He leans into your touch and sighs, cracking an eye open.

He admires the way the light from the forgiving moon frames your face. From the soft curves to the stronger edges of your features. But he mainly drinks up the way you look back at him with the same drunken eyes.

“You’re a real sight. You know that?” Reigen mumbles earnestly into your palm. You hum back in response, the two of you hovering closer. His eyes float across your entire face, looking at you like a piece of art, flickering between your lips and your eyes. His tongue pokes out to wet his lips subconsciously.

“Hey, uh. How angry would you be if I kissed you right now?” Reigen whispers close to your face. You can’t help but grin at the innocent question. Your hand snakes to the back of his neck and you pull him in and press your lips against his.

Reigen squeezes his eyes shut and he doesn’t take long to melt into the kiss. His hands carefully find their place on your sides, slowly sliding down to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He pulls at your shirt and sighs in your lips.

Reluctantly, he parts lips with you and gives you both a chance to catch your breaths. The two of you pant gently, hearts drumming so hard in your chests it hurts. You rest your forehead against his, mirroring his embarrassed glow.

“Is this okay?” Reigen asks as he searches your eyes for any reluctance. You only smile back and kiss him one more time. Your lips roll against his and he angles his head to deepen it. You can taste the faint flavor of cigarette smoke on your tongue mixed with lemons. It’s so very Reigen.

When you pull away the second time, he’s red in the face laughing out of pure joy, eyes half-lidded and obsessed with the essence of you. A sight that makes your heart jolt.

“Yes. This is very okay.” Reigen chuckles lightly and holds your hand, rubbing his thumb over your skin and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. A yawn slips from your lips without warning. Reigen laughs against your skin and brushes your hair away from your face.

“It’s been a hell of a day. Maybe we should get some rest inside of the actual apartment. I dunno how we’d explain it to those guys if they found us like this in the morning.”

“Yeah. That would be reaaaally embarrassing.”

“Very,” Reigen nods. But neither of you makes the first move to get up. You both stare a little longer and inevitably, his lips are back on yours again, sharing soft kisses. His arms wrap around you, pulling you against his chest. He pulls away just enough so that your noses are still touching and he whispers before falling asleep.

“Thank you. For everything you do.”

[ngmn2002]

Ch 108: Random Thoughts

First things first...

Now, I didn't expect this thing will go this way. Expected Akane to join No.1's side on the court thing, but for Teru to also join the rest? No.1 are up to something, Huh? They are taking their moment to shine, which is not unexpected it's their arc after all.

Look at how the table have turned... even though at the end Akane was back to 'he is going to kill me' mode. It was funny. Getting to 'see' how the stamp really affects those who get it on them with Teru is cool. Turns out this stamp really is effective and dangerous. Though, I couldn't help but wonder... in Tsukasa and Nene's case, they got the stamp on them, while Hanako and Teru got it on their clothes, if we thought about it in some way... is there a chance they will be free if they just (had the chance to) take off their top? ........ Anyway, back to Tsukasa and Nene's case... first time for me to see Tsukasa 'limited' this way, he is always so capable but there... he was so done, not even bothering to do a thing. It felt actually cute. Uh... I have to also comment on how he got tied? let's say in a different way from the rest a look too... he didn't only have a handcuff around his hands like the rest but also...

Ehhh... we need to have him this way thanks to someone I assume... anyway....

Speaking of 'someone'... is it really that easy for him to escape or is something else at play here? Are we to assume Teru really didn't pay attention to him and got distracted or...? since Hanako really didn't do much in Teru's favor after he ran off... I wonder if it all was just a matter of Hanko taking the chance of Teru not paying attention to him to run away after all.

Little Nene waking up inside the cage... Never a dull moment with Nene-chan monologuing. This time little her.

Still... this thing... it's everywhere...

Why? For 2 of the purest souls to end up that way... even baby Nene didn't survive?!

Free Nene! Free Tsukasa! No more of them living this way... or am I just asking too much Mr. someone? Just kidding. JUST KEEP THEM HAPPY, ALRIGHT?!

Ehhh... this theme... if you look at it even metaphorically... everyone is a prisoner by some sort of thing... all are trapped in someway... we don't really need the cage, chains or anything of that sort... they can take the form of rules... duties... rumors... boundaries... family traditions... society... world...

Princess Rapunzel Nene-chan! pumpkin Cinderella magical attack! fly us to the moon! His comment! too funny!

I love how she went all excitedly "Tsukasa-kun! You're awake!" and rushed to his side... feels so good to see a nice mood between them...

Done Tsukasa-kun... he is adorable. The mouse got the cat... by using some low methods... life can be so unfair at times... it's funny how he is just... 'I won't bother anymore.' Where is all mighty Tsukasa? He is so lovely when he just losses interest in something. He just goes: power off. It's as if things just go by the press of a button it's so funny. Yeah... he is adorable! If we wanted to make the mood a bit gloomy, we can say he was also deeply mentally done, not also physically or just done by the situation. recalling a similar thing from the past where he struggled to break free for so long without getting anything out of it and just lost motivation to go any longer. A really hopeless and miserable Tsukasa... it hurts too much to imagine...

Ehhh... she is adorable. Trying to free herself together with Tsu, being the little hamster she is.... so sweet!!

I love casual Tsukasa. -I can't break it. -I see. Best dad ever, who offers help and words of wisdom to his little child as much as he can and cheers for her to give it her all with a smile on his face meant for her, even when in a bad state himself.

Their word- exchange during the whole thing was done in a really cute way. why bring a thing called 'key' to the table though?

One day we will see said 'twin power' shining, Nene-chan. We only need to keep patient.

The thing that broke me. I'm not ok. This thing had me crying too much. I still can't get over it or what might it really hold. It's too much.

So, was Tsukasa this way in the boundary? before in their past? both? Did he reach a point where he pleaded for Amane to come see him? For like... 10 years or 20 or never mind, they just saw each other on the roof the other day.

Tried with all his might but all his efforts where in vain until he lost hope Amane will respond to him or come see him?

I wonder if Sumire's words got to him. That is, if he knew Tsukasa was calling for him all the time. No.6 seemed oblivious of Sumire's want to meet him once more.

Then... tried once more motivated by the want to go see Amane himself? You're not coming to see me? I will go see you instead.

He tried to get his way by himself to make it happen,

then the help of hers.

Then finally... went to see him. Even though he was still too weak...

Now, remembering every time Nene called for Hanako to come save her and how he showed almost in all of them,

Tsukasa saw that one But with Tsukasa that wasn't the case for a long time... it hurts... he even was under the impression Amane will come save Nene but not me when they fell down...

But, knowing Nene gets the feeling and what he was talking about...

Imagining Tsukasa looking like her in there hurts so bad She can understand him too well, they can support each other.

It really felt too good Tsukasa opens up to Nene so much, trusts her and has faith in her. For him to talk about his sincere feelings with her over and over again... way too openly... ahhhh... it's too much....

This gentle face and smile that are meant for her and to see him cheering for her even when he is in such a state...

This boy... I love him. So very much. He is one of the kindest, most selfless, contented, purest souls ever..... I don't even know where to start or where to end with trying to describe his beauty and charm/trying to understand him and his feelings... please all I want is for him to be happy...

Not this way...

Please... please Tsukasa... I'm begging you... ask for more... think of yourself more... desire even the little amount of things... you can have the world if you ask for it... just ask... don't go things are this way... STRUGGLE as you say... it's killing...

.......... Sumire... Tsukasa... why... No. 6.. Hanako... WHY?! WHY?! We're waiting for the other to do something. One take the first step please!

That whole scene broke me. I'm not alright. Not at all.

Look at him. Look at him. Forgetting all about his own safety and being just to save her. Now, isn't that the guy who selflessly sacrificed himself for his brother? He is just... I can't....

Having Nene asking him once more to call for Amane, yet he kept going with his belief... remembering every single time Tsukasa went calling Amane's name when they meet hits differently now. His excitement to see Amane and how he reacts... ehhh....

..............

While falling down, I wonder if he kept sticking to his belief... or if he actually called for Amane in his mind... and then Amane showed up, saying 'what?'. He saved them BOTH. Tsukasa's shocked face was... oh... I hope what happened made him happy... He had Tsukasa's arms around his neck! He put the 2 of them to safety! Hanako in between this chapter and the previous ones feels like night and day XD And then...

...

He freed Nene alone. Gave Tsukasa his usual rude Amane look and a cold shoulder. Talked like... ugh... he pleases you with actions... gets you pissed off with words and expressions...

You'd better work on this really fast sir. Get a grip, will you? It's about time you do so.

Uhh, don't get me started on your twin... Mr. poker face. Mr. :D How about he lets us into his mind for a moment?

Let's take a really deep breath... starting over...

So, Mr. :D went to Mr. talk to people around you, and was surprised the later saved him too. Oh, Tsukasa... Ugh, Amane.

On the funny side...

So well - deserved. Use his GREAT CURSE against him as much as you can. Thanks Mr. :D, cutie princess. Now I really want to see Tsukasa going that way. I love you, Amane or even better onii-chan. I need to see Amane getting a heart attack and passing out for my own sake.

Pffft... he is not mad. For real? Not even for a little bit? You kept the boy tied up. Your face had the 'angry' mark on it once he reminded you of what happened. Uh... did you like seeing him that way by any chance? Asleep, locked in the boundary for years, and now this... with the thing around his ankle even... I really had a little idea of... Mr. fan of imprisoning his loved ones... if he saw Tsu and Nene still locked in the cage... he would actually take the whole cage with them inside and keep them that way forever. At least it would come to his mind. I won't believe it won't.

To have Nene saying I hate you Tsukasa-kun... ok... fine... she has a point. wonder for how long that will go...

Cool.

The moment you realize how both twins are so talented with handling children. Some twins' hell this girl got herself into. Best of luck to her with them. Anyway, always feels nice to see the 3 of them getting along well together. A really nice party.

Have to say, I love how Amane trusts Tsukasa with Nene to the point of him throwing her to him, knowing he will catch her, keep her safe on his behalf. They get along really well and are in sync. Awesome to see. The dash Tsukasa made and that slide move he went with... Nene is not a ball you 2, you know? Still, a proof of when you trust Tsukasa with something, you'll never be disappointed. Can I see more of the twins this way?

What a group I never expected to see, ever.

So that's how Tsukasa and Teru's first meeting will be? It's too funny.

Uh, if only I didn't make that joke to myself a few hours before the chapter was out... I went... No.1 really miss these scales of justice... and here we are... what will they put on the empty side? The group's misdeeds? XD

I feel sorry nat and sakura are not invited to the party. Don't they need to join the 4? They misbehaved with No.1 too. That's already unfair for a court that will put all guilty to their place and bring 'justice'.

Nene is free... can't she help them? The answer will be no most likely, but I wonder if we will need her free small hands at some point.

So, this chapter ends with 3 powerful men being so powerless a little girl can do better than them. Life... L-I-F-E.

We close on this note. Till next chapter.

*****

Ok, that was the messy chapter review... It's all over the place, yes. Not in the usual style I write my other chapter reviews, yes.

That one Tsukasa scene had me becoming a total mess, I still can't get around it or grasp it fully. It makes my head & heart hurt so bad. When will I be able to think better... I wonder. For now, this is the best I can do with this whole chapter.

Thanks for reading.

[madame-mongoose]

Please tell us about the Cinder au I love Spyro!!!

LAUGHS EVILLY YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

Okay so basically my au focuses on rewriting Cynder's story from Legends to better fit the Reignited universe while also introducing Ember and Flame into the mix. Here's their designs as I have them currently!!!

Now I'll put the lore under a readmore-

Cynder is a young dragon who originates from the Magic Crafters homeworld. Outcasted by her peers and overlooked by her elders in favor of the child hero, Spyro, she runs away. Jealous and angered over the unfairness of her situation. She stumbles inside of a cave where she finds a large, black, glowing crystal. It whispers to her, beckons her. She lays a paw on it, entranced, and blacks out. She awakes to find herself in a nightmare world. One twisted and ugly full of her fears and insecurities. She eventually finds Him. The Nightmare King, shrouded in darkness. Only his eyes able to be seen. He speaks to her and appeals to her emotions. Manipulating her and promising that she will be loved by all is she can help free him from his prison. Cynder, a young and desperate child, agrees. She awakes, her body changing, her scales darkening, her horns growing sharper, and chains forming around her neck and ankles. Marks of the nightmare king appearing on her scales. Now starts her task to free him. She becomes a terror, wielding elements of darkness to aid her in battle. She must steal a crystal from each dragon homeworld and lay them together in the abandoned Nightmare temple in dreamweavers to summon him back to the waking world.

Along her journey she meets Flame, Spyro, and Ember who she defeats in battle. Spyro being the first she beats, as he overestimates his abilities due to his previous wins. This spawns a NEED to defeat her and he chases her all across the dragon realms. She meets Flame in Peace Keepers. He boasts how he can easily defeat her, having a huge ego. But he's all bark and no bite. Her kicking his ass just crumples his self esteem completely (think teru from mp100) Spyro convinces him to join forces and they continue pursuit. They fight her together in Beast Makers and are defeated, but with quite the struggle this time. The last world she visits, Dream Weavers, is where we meet Ember. Ember is the hardest opponent she faces. Being the princess of the homeworld and also most gifted dreamwalker gives her a huge upper hand. Ember, during the battle is able to see inside Cynder's mind for a brief moment and sees the corruption she's under. And it shocks Ember so much it gives Cynder time to defeat her and continue her journey to the temple. Ember is HORRIFIED bc she KNOWS who the nightmare king is. Malefor. An ancient dragon who once overtook the lands with his creatures of terror and destruction. Every dream weaver who is set to rule is taught this history and made to meet him in the dreamscape to understand truly what a monster he is. Ember screwed up when she met him tho, and a piece of him escaped. Growing that crystal found in Magic Crafters.

Cynder makes it to the temple and lays out all the crystals in order, ready to summon her King. Spyro, Flame, and Ember all confront her, but it's already too late. She frees him from the nightmare realm. The mass amount of power she uses knocks her out, the portal she opened beginning to suck her in. Ember, in a state of pity for her rescues her last minute and takes her with the group to safety. When Cynder wakes up she is PISSED. (This is pretty much all the most detailed plot I have so far the rest is story beats) After that I want Cynder to have a moment of clarity and realize through a really hard hitting scene that Malefor was just using her. It takes her a while but she slowly reforms and tries to make amends. Her and Ember have a love hate relationship. Ember feeling guilt over being the cause of this in the first place, but also hating Cynder's guts for what she did. And Cynder just hating her in general akhdjs. Flame being very skeptical and the hardest to warm up to Cynder. Kinda taking a Sparx like role from Legends? Except less annoying bc fuck Legends Sparx fr. Spyro I'm still debating on tbh. I want him to be really headstrong and like child hero syndrome?? And Cynder eventually becomes like bad influence big sis to him?? But yeah they all create a found family thing and figure out a way to defeat Malefor for good

[shigayokagayama]

teru week day seven: birthday

Teru wished he could say he had totally forgotten it was his birthday. He wished he could have gone about his morning as normal, nonchalantly checked the date, and realized oh! He was fifteen years old today!

Instead he lay in bed, sleepless, watching the sunrise through his blinds, shivering, waiting for his phone to go off.

He had told himself last night he had to get to bed early. If they called while he was asleep they called while he was asleep, he could just call back in the morning, no big deal. Nevermind that they always seemed to be too busy to pick up the phone. Nevermind that their voicemail inbox had been full for six months.

He heard his phone buzz and sat up in bed, staring at the light illuminating his nightstand. He waited until the light dimmed before he worked up the courage to reach for it.

“Hey! Wanted to know if you’d be available to swing by the office later today, just got a big assignment and could REALLY use the help. Thank you!”

Oh. It was just Reigen.

“Sure! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ TERU✧ﾟ･:*”

Teru decided to officially give up on trying to fall asleep. It was, what, 5:30 am? Perfect time to wake up on a saturday.

As he absentmindedly flipped between TV channels he heard his phone buzz again. Reigen again?

“Happy birthday Hanazawa-kun :) Do you want to hang out today?”

Teru smiled. It was pretty rare for Kageyama to text him first. He was good enough at keeping conversations going, but initiating them seemed to be a struggle for both of them.

“You remembered?”

“Yeah! We’re almost exactly a month apart haha :)”

“☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ I have to go to Reigen-san’s around 16:00 but before then I’m free (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ TERU✧ﾟ･:*”

“I just got up but meet downtown around 9?”

“╰(*°▽°*)╯ Sounds good! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ TERU✧ﾟ･:*”

“Okay! :) See you then!”

–

Teru scanned the area as he walked through the crowded streets of downtown Seasoning City. The area seemed safe enough at a glance, but he could never be too careful. The man in a blue hoodie had been walking the same path as him for a couple blocks now, maybe it was time to quicken his pace. The man didn’t speed up to match him so Teru let his shoulders relax a bit. Oh, there was Kageyama, about three blocks away. He hurried forward, careful not to lose focus on his surroundings.

“Kageyama-kun!” he called with a wave as soon as he was on the same block. Kageyama looked at him with a start and waved back.

“Oh, hi Hanazawa-kun!” he said with a slight smile. “It’s been a bit, huh? How’ve you been?”

“Ah, I’m alright,” Teru said. Should he talk about his recovery post confession-incident or would that make things weird? “School’s been alright, and my friends from the Awakening Lab have been keeping me busy outside that. How about you?”

“Ah, I’ve been so busy with school and my clubs that I haven’t really had time for anything else,” he said, “I actually haven’t really gotten to see Reigen-shishou at all since. Uh.”

He looked away uncomfortably for a moment. Teru reached out and put a hand on his shoulder with a reassuring smile. Kageyama looked back and smiled weakly.

“So! What’s the plan?” Teru asked.

“Boba?” Kageyama suggested.

“Don’t think they’re open this early, coffee maybe?” Teru said.

“Oh, I don’t like coffee that much, it’s too bitter,” Kageyama said guiltily.

“Hummingbird taste buds?” Teru giggled. Kageyama snorted and rolled his eyes. Since when did he do that? “You know most cafes serve things other than coffee, right?”

“But you said coffee,” Kageyama protested.

“I meant it as a catchall for ‘served at cafes’,” Teru explained, “Context clues.” 

“Do sandwiches fall under the ‘coffee’ umbrella?” Kageyama said, thoughtfully stroking his chin and suppressing a smile.

“My friend, a coffee can be anything you want it to be,” Teru said with the intonation of a philosopher. Kageyama giggled and Teru felt his heart jump. Since when did he do that?

–

“I’ll take a mint matcha frappe with extra whip,” Teru said, stepping aside to let Kageyama order, then jumping back in front of him. “Two pumps of mint actually, please.”

The cashier stared at him blankly, then flickered her gaze to Kageyama.

“Uh. I’ll have a hot chocolate I guess.” he said

“Any adjustments?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay so a mint matcha frappe with extra mint and extra whipped cream and a hot chocolate,” the cashier said. “That’ll be 1468 yen.”

Teru reached into his pocket for his wallet at the same time as Kageyama. The two of them raced to put their yen on the counter first.

“It’s your birthday,” Kageyama said, shoving Teru’s money aside, “Let me pay.”

Teru groaned and rolled his eyes, putting the 2000 yen note back in his wallet. The cashier took Kageyama’s note and handed him back his change.

“Fine,” he sighed, “But on your birthday I’m getting you the most expensive drink they’ll let us make, got it?”

“They get more expensive than yours?” Kageyama said, voice lined with disbelief.

“Oh yeah, I totally could’ve bankrupted you back there,” Teru said as they walked away, “I swear I’ve ordered 1200 yen drinks from here before with all the syrup and caramel I’ve added.”

“At that point I don’t even think that could legally be considered a drink,” Kageyama mused. Teru heard his phone buzz and his hand shot to his pocket. 

Just a spam call.

He put his phone away again, trying to ignore how much he was shaking. God, why did he have to be so weird about this? It was just a phone call.

“Hanazawa-kun? Are you alright?” Kageyama asked.

“Oh, I’m fine, just waiting for a phone call,” Teru tried to say casually. Kageyama didn’t seem to believe him. Before he could press him, Teru spotted the barista putting their drinks on the counter.

“Oh! Our order’s ready!” Teru shouted before he could say anything, shouldering his way to the counter and swiping both their drinks, handing Kageyama his with a smile. To his dismay Kageyama still seemed concerned.

“What’s the phone call about? You seem kind of worried about it,” he said.

“Oh, nothing, just… uh…” Teru knew he couldn’t dodge the question a second time without making it seem more concerning than it actually was. It’s nothing, it’s not important, he shouldn’t be so anxious about it. “Uh, the last time my parents called me was on my birthday last year. So. I thought they might again, this year. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“...Since last year?” Kageyama said. Teru’s heart dropped. Why did he have to say it like that?

“Yeah, I mean, they’re pretty busy,” Teru said, “Hey, wanna go to the river? I saw ducklings there the other day.”

“Oh I, uh, yeah… sure-” Kageyama said.

“Great! Let’s go!” Teru ushered him towards the exit, hoping the conversation would die once they were outside.

–

“...I don’t know if they got a new phone number and didn’t tell me or just stopped checking their voicemail or what,” Teru said. The shining sun reflected off the water through the gaps in the shade of the cherry trees planted along its edge. He leaned on the railing, watching a mother duck coax her ducklings from the shore into the water. It was too nice a day for the conversation he was having. 

Kageyama had barely said a word since he started talking, just…listened. It felt…nice? To be heard? To be understood? To not dedicate all his effort into throwing solutions and backup plans at a problem he didn’t know how to solve?

“I just. I feel like I should have moved on by now,” he said, “I haven’t even seen them in person since I was nine. I’ve adjusted to life without them. But…”

“It still hurts,” Kageyama mumbled gently, leaning against his arm. The two of them looked out over the water in silence for a moment. Teru could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he turned to look at him. 

I guess we’re even now.

He cringed inwardly at the memory of how Kageyama’s face twisted at the comment. Why had he said that? To lighten the mood? Make himself feel less guilty? Maybe the medication they gave him at the hospital had made him delirious? 

He was the first real friend he’d ever had and he felt like, with every word he said, every crossed line or potential misstep, he was closer to losing him.

How do you make someone stay?

–

“You think Reigen-san will be mad we’re late?” Teru asked.

“No, I think he’ll understand,” Kageyama said, looking away in a manner that suggested he was hiding something. Oh god, Reigen probably would be mad at them, wouldn’t he? He had gotten so caught up in talking that he didn’t notice the time. Teru noticed the blinds shut as they approached the building and froze.

“Hanazawa-kun?” Kageyama asked. 

“Sorry, thought I saw something,” he said, eyes narrowed.  It’s probably nothing. Maybe the sun was in their eyes or it got too bright.

As they stepped into the building Teru could feel his suspicions growing. He could see that the room was dark from the hallway. Why would Reigen turn the lights off? He didn’t seem like the kind of person who would just leave without them. Had something happened to him? Kageyama didn’t seem to notice anything was off, sauntering to the door.

“Wait!” Teru said as he reached for the handle. Kageyama looked up, puzzled. “Something feels off.”

“What do you mean?” Kageyama asked.

“The lights are off, and I saw the blinds close when we were outside,” Teru said, “I think someone might be trying to ambush us.”

It was difficult to read the expression that crossed Kageyama’s face as he spoke. He stared at him for a few seconds before responding.

“Well, if something’s in there, we can probably handle it, right?” he said. Teru forced a smile. He knew he meant well, but he didn’t like being humored like this. Kageyama turned the knob and opened the door. The office was dark save for the light pouring in from the hallways. Teru could detect other espers nearby, most of them significantly weaker than himself but-

“Surprise!”

As Kageyama flicked the lights on Reigen, Hoshino, Asashi, Kurosaki, the Shiratori brothers, and Mob’s little brother emerged from the dark. Kageyama turned to him with a fond smile.

“Happy birthday, Teru,” he said.

Teru stood, unable to think of how to react. Reigen motioned to the table by the couch in the corner where a chocolate cake sat adorned with candles.

“I wasn’t sure what flavor you wanted so I made an educated guess,” Reigen said.

Teru tried not to let on how strained his voice was when he spoke.

“It’s perfect.”

–

“So, afternoon next Saturday works?” he asked.

“Yep! Have a nice night, Hanazawa-kun,” Kageyama said. 

Teru looked back at him and gave a small wave as he walked towards his apartment. The building was stiflingly quiet as he stepped in and turned on the lights. As he slipped out of his shoes he looked at the clock. 12 am. One full day of being fifteen.

He didn’t even glance at his phone before getting into bed.

[pink-tk-a-latte]

Tickle HCs for the T[BH]K crew (sfw!!!!!):

Aoi, Nene, Sakura, Kou, Akane, Teru, Sumire

Manga spoilers ahead 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Aoi

Not many people tickle her, but to those brave enough to try she’ll give a little lady-like laugh that’s so enchanting it repels them like a tidal wave of pure goodness

Of course, her real laugh (which probably only Nene, Akane, and maybe Teru know about) is much more snorty and pitchy and desperate <3 also a little nasally, or sounds like she’s talking with a stuffy nose and it’s adorable in a goofy way

She will also name-call the flip out of anyone who tks her (not that she hates it that’s just how she is)

Will probably not tickle people very often, but thinks it’s fun to watch people squirm and scream for mercy, so calm but completely evil

Her fav lee is Nene bc she thinks her reactions are funny (used to be Akane but It’s Complicated)

Nene

Turns into a completely evil gremlin when given the opportunity to tk someone. She may be a sweet-looking girl but she is merciless and surprisingly mighty (let Nene be a punk and beat people up agenda!!!)

Squeals and kicks and turns completely red when tk-ed or tk is mentioned; embarrassingly enough, her ankles are most ticklish

Poor thing will make up excuses not to tickle her like “My laugh is too loud!” and “My face isn’t cute!” and people will want to tickle her more to prove her wrong (please let my girl be happy)

People see her and just want to tickle her. And they will. She can’t escape. It’s the main character effect

Sakura (MY PRETTIEST GIRL EVER!!!!!)

Definitely not much of a ler, but when she is she approaches it with such scientific intensity that it’s actually scary

She’s very sweet and very gentle, honestly, but it’s entirely offset by how terrifying and mysterious she is

Ticklish but exceptional at hiding her reactions from dealing with Tsukasa. If you remind her that she can laugh, you may be able to get a few giggles out of her, unless you’re Natsuhiko

Sensitive in very unusual places, so nobody knows about it

Kou

He’s super bony and all of them are ticklish

Embarrassed because he feels like being tickled weakens his coolness factor (will literally cave instantly if any of his friends ask him to tk him)

Likes to tickle people to cheer them up, always very playful, will also do the tk while acting tough if someone is being bratty (usually Hanako or Mitsuba)

Nene tks him because!!! He's her sweet underclassman!! (more content for them please)

I live for Toilet Trio shenanigans aljfdkaldsfjalfj

Akane

You can drag him kicking and screaming to his tklish grave

No his laughs aren’t even cute he just screeches like a bald eagle when someone approaches with Threatening intent (usually Teru or one of the Clock Keepers)

He’ll be cute for Ao-chan tho <3

Would rather beat people with bats than tk them, but he will tickle out of revenge (usually Teru). Treats it like a war for subjugation, way too hot-headed for the silliness that is tiggle

Teru

Same as Aoi as a lee

Will literally exorcise you if you find out he’s tklish. Even if you’re alive. He needs that to stay buried

Loves tkling his siblings, really just wants them to be happy, but he never gets to bc exorcist duties (poor guy is lonely)

More content of Minamoto siblings please <333333

Also Akane. Will stalk him through the school just to harass him

Sumire (I think I have a crush on her…)

I actually think she’s the biggest ler of this franchise (too bad she only appears for one arc)

She’s literally a sadist /hj She’ll be like “Awwww, look at you struggle~ you try but you know you can’t resist me like this ♡”

Would tk Hakubo all the time even tho he never laughed (his expression would maybe turn slightly more embarrassed and that was enough for her)

Would also try to get him to tk her but he literally did not understand. She would ask straight up and he would think she was just weird (he grants her her wish after she’s sacrificed and resurrected in his boundary bc he regrets ignoring her when she was alive)

[your-local-uwu-artist]

sharing ocs <3

i've shared kaiya before but anyway: some of this is a wip because this is essentially me revamping older ocs and I'm still reworking their stories

for example originally their magical girl mascots were little like orbs inspired by hanko-kun's haku-joudai but now they resemble teru-bozu

mini infodumps from left to right + design notes!

so basically their (yet to be named) story is a combo between a mahou shojo and an unidentified supernatural ... drama? Theres a few main parts: reincarnation exists in the world, the hometown/setting is called 'yureikikyo"(subject to change) and is home to a lot of graveyards and ghost stories. The magical girl characters are those that can see and communicate with ghosts and spirits. Their job as magical girls is to help keep spirits in check, moniter the balance between the two planes of existence, and help reincarnate souls that are stuck. Theres a bit more to it (like this weird side story thing that can be interpreted a number of ways, but is essentially a different story with different characters that are parrellls to the main ones)

kaiya!

the protag, I've shared her here before but anyway. Her color is pink, her symbol is an x and her bonus motifs are spiders and music

she's a new magical girl and is struggling with how the ghost world which was previously hers and hers alone being interrupted by the magical girl world. she spent a long time putting herself on a pedestal and socially isolating herself so the revelation that shes not alone challenges her worldview. shes sorta a jerk, but in a 'angsty teenager that is going through it and can get better' kinda way. She's depicted as cold-hearted, closed off and cruelly selfish with her peers. but as kind, cheerful, and caring when with spirits and ghosts. while she'd never admit it, most of her actions stems from anger against the universe. This anger fuelled source ends up hurting her as a magical girl

in the side story the character "Merci" resembles Kaiya. Who I'm not even sure how to begin to describe, she is one of a duo of characters who's premise is just 'a relationship so fucked up, like just manipulation and general horribleness from both sides'

Suika!

my beloved<3 she's the senpai magical girl, her color is green, her symbol is an upside down heart and her additional motif is skeletons and being hella attractive more traditional magical girl aesthetics like ribbons, pigtails, and hearts

She's also the adult of the group, I had to make up an imaginary school program thing so I could have her be graduated but draw her in the cute uniform, (basically I'm thinking being a small isolated town they only have a community college, so the post-graduation highschool program essentially provides students with additional resources for a higher education in exchange for assistance and work at the school)

suika's been a magical girl for a long time, shes at times can be a strict mentor. Shes pretty hard on Kaiya sense she sees her younger self in her and desperately wants to prevent her from downfall. she presents herself and is presented as close to perfect, disciplined, strong, responsible, and compassionate. But she struggles alot with her identity being built on her magicalgirlhood, and has a habbit of projecting on others and vise versa.

Joyuu!

the second oldest! his color is blue, her symbol a triangle and her bonus motifs are bats and flowers. Joyuu is a misfit that doesn't try to change that. She works at one of the local cemeteries and is softspoken and poetic. Their roles one of the ones thats changed most from the original so I'm still working it out. but bassically she willingly is sharing a body with a ghost. She's not as disciplinary, strict and mentor-y as suika, but unlike suika whos values are prone to falling apart with her emotions. Joyuu is very resolved. Their also transfem and nonbinary, (she/they/he) but the ghost he shares a body with uses they/it pronouns

joyuu is very reserved as a magical girl, she does her job well but unlike suika who really plays up the magical girl warrior aesthetic, Joyuu lacks these monologues of grandeur, their a lot more down to earth and logic based in their ideals as a magical girl. seeing it as a job where as suika really takes on the idea of this destiny of responsibility and heroics

koko

koko is the youngest, sorta too young. She's the tag-along little sister. (her 'first draft' actually was suika's younger sister) her color is purple, her shape a clover or flower if you prefer, and her motifs are black cats and kids drawings/arts and crafts) she's struggling with growing into her own person with her various role-models having such vastly different outlooks. she's sorta a mediator and provides a nuetrual perspective on things. all the characters are trying to preserve her childhood, while koko feels like her childhood isn't over yet

she's the least developed both in universe and out of universe: hopefully brainrot will hit so that can change tho

[2n2n]

Riffing off of my last post... I want to think about something! Or, introduce a thought....

first off, a magical spell to ward off evil. In your mind spins the image of the Yugi twins kissing peacefully, happy in their futon together... ahhhh! Okay... we resume now.

Perhaps this is obvious to some, but it might not be to others, so why not voice it.

I think valuing the gender of characters is your preference individually, there are preferences I have, too! Tastes, aesthetically, and such. But, to some extent, I think being rigorous and strict about avoiding say, 'male/female' relationships, or hating 'male characters', in the pursuit of loving queerness & loving women for example, can go a little overboard... ooonly in that, narratives are not always representing only what they appear as, and you can't be so sure what other people are representing in abstractions. This post is only for people who might feel sensitive about those abstractions-- if you don't have a care in the world, don't bother reading on...!

Here is an example, from a popular series many love. The Moomin novels are precious to me, I love the expressions of the author, Tove's, relationships and human experiences. Tove largely expresses herself through Moomin, a boy. She expresses her relationships with women AND men through that conduit. Ironically, the relationship between Moomin and Snufkin-- beloved by many!-- represents a 10-year love affair with a man in her life, Atos. While the story of Moomin and Too-ticky, is a representation of her relationship to her later long-term female partner, Tuulikki. I don't see fandom much explore or care about Moomin/Too-ticky, probably because it is M/F. I think that's kind of funny? I'm not here to make a judgement-- I write Snufkin/Moomin-- but, when I think about what people value in Tove VS what narrative they like in fiction, it's interesting that the real-life experiences influencing that fiction doesn't matter.

Meanwhile, a lot of female mangaka represent their traits through male characters. Arakawa connects to Edward Elric, and Yana Toboso projects a lot of herself into Ciel Phantomhive. While it's not stated as outright as all the other examples, I do believe Iro-sensei projects a lot of their personality into Hanako, and Aida-sensei seems to playfully draw Iro-sensei as Hanako, or embellish him with Iro-sensei's IRL habits.

We can look at a story like JSHK, and we can look at it literally as a story about ghosts and humans and such. Or, we can look at it thematically, and see a story about many, many more things we might relate to. Broad concepts of eschewing society's morals, strictures, or values (suchas Tsukasa), or following them to the point of pain (suchas Teru), who gets punished or forgotten and why, how to be happy in a world that doesn't care if you are happy (Hakubo, Sumire).... etc...

Hanako's struggle with Nene-chan, is that he cannot marry her, he cannot grow up with her, and 'has no future' with her. I would describe Hanako as chronically unable to conceptualize commitment for himself. At the start of the manga, this makes him a kind of playboy to Nene-chan-- flirtatious, harassing, but also closed-off. He sees his dynamic with Nene-chan as a temporary, short-term thing... a year of frivolity with a girl, something that can't 'go anywhere'. He can be capricious, but only because of a sense of hopelessness. This relationship cannot "go anywhere".

Much to be said about queer relationships being seen as 'a phase' in many cultures... something you do when young, but grow out of, moving into normative adulthood. I'm not saying that's the INTENTION-- but that you could happily choose to read it however you want, connect to it however you want.

I mean... gay marriage is not sanctioned across Japan... this concept of "a person you can play with a little when you're young, but never truly commit to" is a cultural concept there. It's interesting that when Nene-chan dreams, "I want to get married some day in the real world!", Hanako receives it as a rejection, and no longer plans to attempt to entrap her through bizarre, indirect circumstances.

Hanako can use strange, convoluted systems like making Nene-chan his kannagi, or binding her to him with the mermaid scale, to ensnare them together .... as much as you could uh, start a business with your lover, but perhaps not legally marry them. It's an interesting compromise, or as he says in Picture Perfect, 'I'm only using what I can'.

Picture Perfect is also about creating a fake fantasy world which fictionalizes everything into a saccharine and acceptable, normative fantasy one wherein Hanako is no longer a Mononoke, but the human, Amane. As Mitsuba says, "in this world, she can even marry No. 7!". What does it mean for Nene-chan to reject this sanitized, acceptable rewritten version of their love, & desire the haunting ghost, even with all of the foibles of that? She doesn't claim to hate the fiction, but it isn't the love she remembers.

The concept that kaii simply 'cannot access' certain aspects of society is interesting. This concept that humans engaging with kaii sincerely, are naive, short-sighted, and incapable of thinking of the 'big picture' is, too. It's childish of Nene-chan to chase Hanako, and others who 'know better' or think more 'realistically' chide or laugh at her for it (Akane, Teru, Mitsuba....). Mitsuba finds it funny that Nene-chan is so smitten with a lover she can't have for life. Mitsuba longs to be 'normal'. Hanako wants a 'normal' life for Nene-chan.

Just as well, however Amane or Tsukasa may have felt about each other, they were brothers. There is a limit to the level of closeness they can have. To put it bluntly, they can't get married, either, lol.

Amane/Hanako the entity may not 'have a future' with anyone he loves, as he may not ever have a proper, societally-acceptable love, with anyone. His love might always be something impossible to achieve-- the moon, out of his reach. That's an interesting trait for a main character.

I think it shouldn't be shameful or stupid or reductive to connect to Hanako/Nene, or Akane/Aoi (lifelong 'best friends'), or Sumire/Hakubo (who were hardly seen as people by anyone, their relationship's value anywhere from invisible to repugnant) .... we literally do not know Aida or Iro's relationships, experiences, we don't even know their own identities or personal lives all that deeply....! We don't know where they are writing or drawing from. But in that way, I think it would be doing a disservice to what you can connect to in a narrative, to presume it's only ever what it looks like on the surface.

For a great many authors & artists, we didn't get to know the greater narrative of their life until long after they died, and could reread their works with new context. I don't think people need to die for you to do that, though. If you notice a consistent theme, it might be intentional... or it might not be! You should have fun. You shouldn't worry too much about it IN-TEXT being wlw or mlm lol.... that's, just not how a lot of people choose to write their stories, even if their lived reality is exactly one thing. Even if there's not a deep reason, maybe it feels more fun or more playful to imagine oneself, a lesbian, as a nasty teenage straight boy. Maybe it even feels more 'real' but in a 'lol... tfw' way. Do you feel me on that??? Sometimes... I think things get a little too literal around the web lately in media analysis!!!!! I would love to encourage anyone who needs permission, to get a little less literal. I don't think you need to, imagine Hanako as a woman to make HanaNene appropriately lesbo vibes, or to justify yourself, a lesbo, liking it. You could be a lesbo and Hanako could represent the type of girl you are exactly. There are girls like that. I mean. Tsukasa represents the type of girl I am.... *paws out*

and aouhhhrho aoaaoouou disclaimer anyone can enjoy whatever they like etc etc have fun etc, live your life etc not saying everyone who likes XYZ is insecure or XYZ or should just blah blah or it's wrong to do blah blah write blah, this all isn't relevant to you whatsoever if you're happy and confident in what you like, proud to like it or whatever, this post is only!!!! relevant if you feel ashamed, embarrassed, silly, or dumb for 'seeing something' or relating to something 'not for you' or 'not there'!!! You don't know that it isn't there! You don't have to choose from .... the few same-gender options actually in-text. Or contort the canon around. You can see your own relationships in anything. Because people write their own relationships in a thousand ways.

My husband and I can write ourselves as two girls. As two girls and a boy. As two boys. As a boy and a girl. As two boys and a girl. As a boy and a nongendered thing. We do this obsessively. I wouldn't say any of these narratives are more or less accurate or true to our lives depending upon the genders aligning with our real life human bodies. We can be a thousand things, and we're still 'us'. We recognize 'us' in that which resonates.

[ill-corpses]

Some Thoughts on Saiki K(Anime)

Watched Saiki K recently

Hopefully will look at the manga soon and watch the dub

I don’t necessarily ship Saiki with anyone but it’s definitely implied that he likes or has some type of interest in Teruhashi

Again I’ve only watch the anime so I could be wrong but I kinda wish Teru started showing a bit more of her true personality and then maybe I would like the ship more

Kinda already know Aiura probably wasn’t even a contender and just seemed plopped in kinda wish she had more screen time and was more of a rival to Teru

It’s a gag anime so I actually don’t mind the tropes for once maybe it’s because it not a serious story if that makes any sense? Don’t get me wrong Teru brother and absolute vile freak💀 maybe it’s because I don’t see him often

I hate pervert tropes but I enjoyed this anime again I think it’s because it’s a gag anime that’s why

My only lil gripe is how dark skin / black characters are shown as per usual (I’m aware that Aiura is tan and a gyaru, I am also talking about the one black character in the background, always a damn jump scare , sucks honestly)

I also think Aiura should of also came to the realization of what Saiki type is and be true to herself if she’s intended to also be his love interest

Even though it’s obvious he and Teru would be together in the end I still kinda wish for more for my girl

(Also don’t really get the Teru hate, I’m aware why but to some ends it seems a bit extreme imo, again I would like Teru x Saiki more if more of her true personality came out and didn’t always have to be so perfect at least around the gang)

(Also kinda want to head canon Aiura as blasian 🫣, again I’m aware it’s a gag manga but I kinda want a sub plot where she possibly struggles with the negativity surrounding gyaru culture and maybe darker skin. Idk I think it would be a good plot for her and Saiki to be a bit closer and a little more understanding between the two, I’m just spit balling here)

The discussion of how Black and darker skin characters are viewed and written in media is a topic for another day just wanted to share my thoughts

Any thoughts or headcanons you guys might have?

My brain needs more content lol could be about ships and why you like them too just be respectful

You can actually send some to my ask box if you want or just replies

Please help me feed my brain

Also kinda sorta want to make an oc🫣

Probably will never post it but just to give myself more content

Edit: Oooh also when Teru and Aiura swap styles

I wish that maybe Airua not jealous of how Teru looked but how she’s perceived if you know what I mean

Aiura will always acknowledge that Teru looks good no matter the style that’s a fact, but I think she would notice how different she’s treated

Like Teru is trying to copy her style but no one really treats her differently than before and that kind of sucks you know?

Styles that are usually look down upon and always get hate but then get praised when a conventionally attractive person by society norms does it and then its cool and trendy. Maybe Aiura notices and feels some type of way

She does not hate Teru

Maybe I’m projecting but it happens a lot especially when it comes to black culture and it’s frustrating(yes I’m aware she isn’t black just something I noticed)

[quirkle2]

you didn't just write that angst down of your zombie au and expect me to go on about my day without crying,,,,

also also, now i wonder what did mob do to finally have reigen and teru trust that he's, well, still him? WHAT HAPPENED I NEED TO KNOOOOW (and the terumob hug oh no, oH NO *RIPS MY HAIR OUT)

((sorry if i'm asking too much i'm just that invested in this au jwnxjwndi i hope you don't mind 🥹))

DW im like so stoked abt the questions i LOOOOVE talking abt the zombie au it makes me ill

i think it's a lot of little things that add up, actually. mob, compared to other zombies, is still quite reserved and quiet. in his weird little sparse mumblings, they occasionally catch what sounds like pieces of their names in the stream of syllables. even tho he's a zombie now and most of them r usually sloppy in their movements, mob still sits with relatively good posture and with his hands politely in his lap

one of the biggest things was seeing him sit down next to ritsu and plop his head on his shoulder. old habit of his when ritsu was bummed abt smth... they saw that and the gears started churning..

a lot of behavior can be explained away if ur desperate enough for sciency proof, which is what teru likely tries to pull at first. zombie mob watches ants on the ground and gets easily distracted by animals and bugs, much like he used to pre-zombie, but many many zombies do that anyway... the hug-back is purely muscle memory there's surely no recollection of emotions or a desire to comfort in there... that thing he still does when he tilts his head at confusing things is surely a Typical Zombie Behavior

when they go to grocery stores to loot them mob stands in front of the fridges with the milk cartons that are 100% expired by now, like he wants one. he seems more quiet and a little bummed when ritsu tells him they're bad by now and that he can't have one. him and teru Totally used to have one of those silly secret handshakes for the funsies and teru starts it on instinct one day and mob returns like ?half of it in a very stilted and sloppy fashion, struggling to remember but doing it well enough.that almost makes teru cry Again

but honestly, even without any of that at all, if they rly search in his eyes, they See it. they see Him, and they never know how to describe it, but he's still there in his gaze, it's just incredibly muted and tired. there's recognition when he turns his head and looks at them, there's even some semblance of fondness when they smile at him. you don't see it if u aren't looking for it, and at first they're convinced that's the deal, that they Want to see it so obviously it's just a trick of their brain that they Do, but...it is there. he is still there

reigen and teru quickly join ritsu in the belief that mob is still very much mob, in almost every interaction they have with him. and they quickly become just as eager to find a cure for him—seeing him be Him But Not Quite is harder on them than they thought it'd be,, makes them miss him that much more

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Gates to Heck Chapter 7

Shigeo teleported them back to Seasoning City and promptly threw up in a flower bed.

Ritsu used his powers to levitate Teru's prone form, while Reigen did his best to block them from view. People had been a lot more accepting of psychic powers in Seasoning since Claw attacked, but most of them had accepted that it was a problem.

Shigeo was probably also grateful for the privacy.

He had wanted to carry Teru himself, but Ritsu said that "Hanazawa has been through enough for one night without someone throwing up in his hoodie." Shigeo opened his mouth to argue, maybe that it was technically his hoodie.

Then he sighed instead, barely more than an exhale.

"Please be careful," he said. "I think his chest got hurt when he was struggling."

"I could carry him," said Shou. "I'm very gentle. I have hamsters."

"What does that even-" Ritsu started to ask, but Shou interrupted him.

"And I've never dunked my Shishou in a rice paddy."

"He isn't my Shishou!"

Teru had passed out while they were still arguing over who got to carry him. Reigen woke him right back up and made him name the Prime Minister and at least two Vocaloids. Teru rolled his eyes during the concussion check, but he definitely did it on purpose, which alleviated about five percent of Reigen's immediate concerns.

Anyway, the kid looked like he needed some sleep.

Teru's hair was plastered to his head with dirty water, which had also washed off the makeup he'd apparently been wearing. The skin around his nose was tight and technicolor. At least it didn't look broken, but he seemed to be having trouble breathing normally, whether from the swelling or his recent not-technically-waterboarding, which Reigen was trying not to think about while he was in a Family Mart because the cigarettes were right there.

They stopped at the convenience store on their way to Seasoning General to pick up a sports drink for Shigeo. He wanted milk, but Reigen insisted he needed to replenish his electrolytes.

Reigen bought him a carton of milk to drink later.

He also bought himself a pack of cigarettes to have much later, when there were no children around to see him freak the fuck out.

Teru regained consciousness in the waiting room. Reigen had been hoping to get him admitted first, but he had never encountered an emergency room that took its name seriously. They had been waiting for almost an hour when Teru stirred awake.

Reigen was worried about another teleportation incident, but apparently Teru didn't have the energy, because he started arguing instead.

"I don't need to be here," he said, and his voice sounded like he was the one with the smoking problem. "I'm fine."

Shigeo shook his head. "You don't have to lie, Hanazawa-kun."

"I'm not!"

"I think he's fine by his standards, Mob," said Reigen. "Drink your electrolytes."

Shigeo obediently sipped his sports drink.

"Reigen-san," Teru started, but Reigen cut him off.

"If you're worried about the hospital siccing Social Services on you, then you can unclench. I managed to convince them you're my nephew."

"You… what?"

"It was so cool," said Shou. "He didn't even give them a chance to ask any questions. He was just all, 'My sister is so irresponsible!'"

"Which is true," said Reigen.

"And, 'I only recently found out that Teruki has been living alone for years!'"

"Which is true."

"And, 'I'm going to make sure he gets the care he deserves from now on!'"

Reigen didn't say it this time, but the implication alone left Teru looking like he was going to bolt whether he had the juice for it or not.

"They do have some concerns about your medical history," said Reigen, casting about for a distraction.

"Huh? But I haven't been to the doctor in years."

"That's the main concern," said Reigen. "We might have to get you vaccinated at some point if I don't want the hospital siccing Social Services on me, but don't worry. We'll smooth it over."

Reigen shifted in the easily-sterilized plastic chair. If he was uncomfortable, he couldn't imagine how Teru felt.

"That's not it," said Teru. "It's not safe for other patients."

"Huh?"

"Why wouldn't it be safe?" asked Shigeo.

"I ended up in the hospital once, a few years ago," said Teru. He was talking fast, like he was afraid the waiting room nurse would actually finish processing their paperwork sometime that century. "Some do-gooder called an ambulance after a Claw attack. I was fine, but they wouldn't let me go."

"I still don't understand-"

"Claw attacked the hospital. No one died, but it… wasn't good. They threw an MRI machine. I had to tell every lie I could think of just to keep them from calling my parents or the Child Guidance Center. There wouldn't be anything to stop Claw from attacking me there either."

"They never attacked you at school, right?" asked Ritsu. "Why would they attack you at a hospital? Aren't there too many people?"

"People, but not psychics," said Teru. "Claw thought I knew other espers. Other kids. Maybe they even thought the Black Vinegar gang was some sort of Psychic Squad. We did get a bit of a reputation for levitating people."

"Oh," said Shigeo, "Your introduction."

It was hard to tell with the fever, but Teru might have blushed. "It's a good way to intimidate and immobilize at the same time, okay?"

Reigen was having a hard time following their conversation, but that had never stopped him before. "Claw's gone now, right? The names on your conspiracy-board were all crossed off. Ochinko-san was the last one, and he's in custody. You're not getting out of a checkup that easily."

"They can't even do anything," Teru wasn't giving up that easily either. "They can't do anything for a concussion or cracked ribs, and my shoulder's already back in its socket."

"They can give you painkillers," said Reigen, trying not to let his wince show. He hadn't even known about the dislocated shoulder.

"I don't want painkillers," said Teru. "They make it hard to think."

"You shouldn't be thinking if you have a concussion."

"I'm sorry, Hanazawa-kun," said Shigeo, which surprised them both enough that they stopped arguing.

"What?" Teru rasped. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I know you told me about how you can set broken bones with your powers, but I've never done it before, and I was afraid of messing up, so I thought it would be better to let the doctors set your ribs. I'm protecting and supporting them though. I hope that's okay."

That was probably a good thing, since Reigen was reasonably sure that you couldn't actually set broken ribs.

There weren't a lot of treatment options. Teru had been right about that. They could treat the pain, but the primary course of treatment for broken ribs was just holding real still and not breathing too hard.

Reigen's irresponsible sister had broken a rib in a moped accident sophomore year. She'd been laid up for a couple of weeks, and she'd recruited Reigen to help convince their parents it was just period cramps.

Their dad had bought it, but their mom had gotten suspicious around the second week.

Teru looked pathetic, still dripping slightly onto the laminate flooring. He still managed a smile for Shigeo. "You're amazing Kageyama-kun. I can't feel a thing."

"That might be the shock." Shigeo frowned infinitesimally. "We should get you a blanket."

Before they could get Teru a blanket, he was actually admitted. The kids insisted on coming too, so the nurse led them all to a small room that definitely wasn't intended to contain multiple teenagers. Another nurse took Teru's temperature and blood pressure while they all pretended not to notice his hands shake.

Eventually the doctor joined them.

"I understand you're having a rough day, young man," he said in what was probably not intended to be a patronizing tone.

Teru shrugged his good shoulder. He seemed to be in a fugue state. He managed a polite smile for the medical staff, but it was like he'd used up all his words trying to convince them he didn't need help, which had only convinced them he needed a lot of help. Preferably professional. Reigen wondered if he still had the number of that therapist whose patient was literally haunted.

"Can you tell me how these injuries occurred?" asked the doctor.

Reigen opened his mouth to answer, but his mind went blank as a fresh word document. He didn't have a single lie lined up. Some conman he was. They were going to get in so much trouble.

"Basketball is a dangerous sport," said Shigeo.

"I see," said the doctor, and that was that. Apparently he was used to teenagers. Although probably not teenagers like these.

Teru's polite smile slipped when the doctor threatened to X-ray his ribs, and Reigen wondered how many untreated injuries they would find.

Not untreated. He'd heard Shigeo earlier, no matter how much he wished he hadn't. Teru had been treating his own injuries. Setting his own bones.

Reigen reminded himself that he definitely wasn't allowed to smoke in a hospital.

Teru was released less than an hour later with a shoulder brace and a prescription for a mild painkiller. Reigen filled it in the hospital pharmacy while the kids tried not to fall asleep on each other in the waiting room.

It was past their bedtimes. Ritsu had called the Kageyamas to explain that they were with an adult, even if it wasn't a very responsible one. Then Shigeo took the phone and exchanged some quiet words with his mother that Reigen hadn't been able to overhear no matter how hard he tried.

Even Shou had called his mother, but that had been less about explaining why he was out late, and more about describing their adventure, with unnecessary emphasis on the part where Ritsu dunked Reigen in a rice paddy.

"Okay, kids. Let's go home. Hanazawa, you're with me."

"Can't he come home with us?" asked Shigeo. "We have real food at our house."

Sometimes Reigen couldn't tell if his student was giving him sass or just being blunt.

He cleared his throat. "That's why God invented takeout."

"I don't need to go home with anyone," said Teru, but he was universally ignored.

"Besides, do you want to explain this to your mother?" Reigen asked Shigeo, gesturing vaguely at Teru's everything. "Because I sure don't."

"Why not?" asked Teru. "It wasn't your fault."

"Maybe not," said Reigen, "but you would have been safe at home with only about half of your current injuries if I hadn't barged in and acted like I knew what was best for you."

"Probably not for long. He knows where I live."

"Okay!" Reigen clapped his hands together. "At the risk of sounding like a child abductor, you're definitely coming home with me. I'd invite the rest of you, but I don't think there's enough room."

"I'm coming too," said Shigeo. "I don't take up much room."

Reigen sighed. He only had one spare futon, which Shigeo should know, since he was the only one who had ever used it.

"Mob-"

"I already told Kaa-san."

"...What exactly did you tell her?"

Reigen was not intimidated by Shigeo's mother or her ability to narrow her eyes and see through every single lie he told, because that would be silly.

"That Hanazawa-kun is sick, and you're taking care of him."

Reigen sighed again. "Sorry, sick kid." That was what he had told the cab driver who took him to Teru's apartment that afternoon. Reigen could barely believe it was still the same day. The hospital clocks were just ticking over to midnight.

"Can we have a sleepover too?" Shou asked Ritsu.

"No."

"Come on! I can borrow Ritsu's Nii-san's futon. He won't mind. Right, Ritsu's Nii-san?"

"I don't mind," said Shigeo.

They argued about it all the way out to the hospital entrance, where Reigen called a cab to take them home. He slid into the front passenger seat while the kids crowded together in the back.

"Long time no see," said the cab driver. It was the one from that afternoon. The one who hadn't minded all the swearing. She glanced at Teru in the rearview mirror.

"Damn," she said. "You weren't kidding."

[veliamore]

hii!! i rlly like ur blog :D! uhm i wanted to request hcs of kou, hanako, tsukasa, nene, and mitsuba with a transmasc y/n that wears their binder too often so it effects them. or just transmasc y/n overall! feel free to ignore if ur uncomfy w the request! - 🐝

hii im glad you enjoy my blog <33 i never wrote for a trans reader in general not being too familiar with the topic so i'll do just general headcanons :) IM SORRY IF THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU EXPECTED 😿

transmasc reader

( hanako , nene , kou , mitsuba , tsukasa )

; hanako :

ok so

if you didn't tell him , he will probably figure it out in a couple of days

when he does , he doesn't say anything

he just ,, doesn't care but in a good way

he doesn't mind that you're trans and he will not do any remarks about it

maybe after you get close to him enough he will ask you questions like "how did you figure out you are trans" or something like that

just out of curiosity

now onto the relationship headcanons

after being by your side for some time

he realizes how much of a great person you are

he wants to be with you every time

he doesn't care if you're a girl or a boy , trans or not

he just loves you for who you are ( cheesy )

( he calls you pretty boy canon !! )

( at first he had some problems remembering the right pronouns .. )

; yashiro :

tbh

she just saw you and thought

" that new boy is kinda cute .. "

when you told her you're trans she was like

" OH "

she still thinks you're cute

she doesn't have problems remembering your pronouns

expect her to bomb you with questions

she doesn't want to sound rude or anything she just wants to know more about you 😾

she's a blushing mess around you tbh

when she confessed she thought you were gonna reject her because of her ankles ..

but when you accepted her she was literally the happiest girl in the world <3

( she helps you choosing some clothes when yall are shopping togheter )

; kou :

when you told him you're trans he was like " ok ! :D "

but he's relivied that you told him

IM SORRY BUT HES STRUGGLING TO REMEBER THE RIGHT PRONOUNS

MY BB IS TRYING I SWEAR

when he get them right give him headpats /hj

anyways

best friends to lovers real

teru supports your relationship

he realize that he has feeling for you when he notice his heartbeat going faster around you

but being dense as he is it takes a lot of time before he notice

he struggle to confess , he never experienced this situation

so you do that for him

he's flustred and tries to hide it

; mitsuba :

i feel like

he made a joke about it

but you took it wrong

he felt bad

and apologized for the first time in his life

like fr he's mean towards anyone but he didn't want you to feel bad pls forgive him :(

from then he tried to think about what he wanted to say before actually saying it

you're lucky fr

you're his only exception

like hanako tho he doesn't ask questions about it

he actually gets the pronouns right

he felt comfortable enough to share his past with you

that's when he realized he took a liking towards you

he tried to talk about it to natsuhiko

bad idea

then he tried to talk to sakura about it

she suggested to confess to you but his ego is to big

so he decided to hint his interest towards you praying you would understeand them

when you confessed he acted so big but he was flustered in the inside 😸

; tsukasa :

let's be honest he doesn't even know what being trans means

you have to explain it to him

but he's still confused

he's a mess with the pronouns 😓

like hanako he doesn't see anything wrong with it

he spends a lot of time attached to you sm that you can't understand if it's because he likes you or its just normal for him

you could be start dating to a day from another

like ,, he will just state that you're his and that's it

good luck 😻

i hate how this turned out but i rll hope you like it 😓 i swear i will improve