#and I'm pretty sure there are one or two of these that probably won't be published

[fanged-fanfics]

☆ "Soo.. New Outfit, Huh?" — Jax x Reader ☆

Genre: Comedy, Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || Episode 5 spoilers

──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────

After the most recent vote, you had to practically pry Jax off of trying to grab Gangle. In a small pop of confetti, his pink overalls had been traded for a black and white maid outfit. You were back on the bench, trying so hard not to snicker as he shouted at Evil Jax. "He's really p[@#$%]sed" you said, the censor covering up the curse. "Yeah.." Pomni said next to you, Ragatha on her other side "Not.. too mad, right?". "He'll be alright" You said "Maybe next time he won't pick on everyone so much". Pomni gave an uncertain hum, but ultimately nodded. As she talked to Ragatha, you watched Jax limply hold the bat, purposely striking out

Once Jax was walking back, you scooted over to make some room, putting some distance between you two and Pomni. He scowled at seeing your amused smirk, sitting on your left side so Ragatha could have some space. "So..." You began. "Don't even start" Jax interrupted. You couldn't suppress snickering just a bit "Come on, you look cute! I think it kinda suits you". "Of course you would say that, you freak" Jax responded with a roll of his eyes. You scooted a little closer to him "I'm not the only one who thought it could suit you, obviously. Majority wins"

"You're a certain kinda person is what you are" Jax replied, his arms crossed. "Hey, come on, I think this is pretty light" You said, patting his shoulder "At worst it's kinda mortifying". "That's real easy for you to say, you're not the one in a ridiculous outfit" Jax argued. You gave a little shrug "Maybe I wouldn't mind as much". "Oh yeah?" Jax began, his square pupils moving to zero in on you "We'll see about that". "Wh- how?" You asked. "I'll find a way, don't worry about it" Jax said, now grinning. He leaned back, his arms leaning on the back of the bench as one leg crossed over the other

Your hand reached over, poking the middle of the chest window. Jax gave you a suspicious look as your fingers trailed the hem of the heart shape, ending with you resting your hand on one of the puffy shoulder sleeves. "Your fur is smoother than I remember" You noted. Jax huffed, but it was more fond this time "You really are a freak, ain't ya?". "Who knows, being in this place has probably messed with me a lot" You shrugged

"Oh, sure, blame it on the Circus" Jax joked. He went to look back at the game, before seeing the corn cob someone had set next to him. He jumped up like a cat that had touched water, stifling a small yelp. You barely held back laughter, brushing the corn off of the bench. "Shut up" he grumped. "I'm not saying anything" You teased "But you're saved now, madam"

Jax immediately swatted your shoulder, causing you to lose all barely held composure and dissolve into a fit of snickering. You saw the pink spread across his face, standing out against the purple fur as he glared. His ears leaned back a bit as he spoke, "Don't make me try to kill you next". "Sorry- snnrk- no, really, sorry" You said, leaning back with a sigh when the chuckling finally died down "I'm serious, you look good"

"Uh-huh" Jax replied, tilting his head away to try to savor at least some dignity by hiding his blush. Just as suddenly, with a little 'pop!', the outfit was replaced with his usual one. Jax's pupils widened "Oh hey, not a vegan anymore". That very same second, you watched lovingly as he ran ahead on all fours, trying to maim his red doppelganger with his teeth

[elumish]

Okay actually I said that my thoughts on sapphic books being Literary and gay books being Commercial would take more words than I have, but that was a lie, I always have more words.

I think that one of the biggest hindrances to sapphic romance becoming more popular (other than the misogyny and such) is that there aren't enough series.

If I look at both straight and m/m romances, there are a lot of series, and particularly a lot of interconnected standalones, which for romances are series where each book is a new couple, but they're set in the same world (same university, same family, etc.). If I look at the top 50 Best Sellers in LGBTQ+ Romance on Amazon right now (7/1/25), based on a very rough count something like 60-65% of them are M/M, 10-15% are M/M/F, M/M/F/M, etc., at least one is M/F with bi rep, and the rest are sapphic.

Of those M/M books, something like 2/3 of those are interconnected standalones, and then virtually all of the polyamorous ones are as well. These numbers are comparable to when I look at contemporary romance overall, which is basically all straight romance.

I think only one of the sapphic books is part of an interconnected standalone.

Why does this matter?

There are a few reasons.

Interconnected standalone romances tend to be (or at least feel) simpler and more straightforward, which makes them more approachable to someone who is new to the genre. They feel very commercial, which is very appealing when you don't want to have to think very hard about what you're reading.

Interconnected standalone romances tend to give a more consistent feeling. You can be pretty sure when you pick up book two (or three, or five, or ten, or thirty) that you're going to get something similar to what you got previously, whereas when you are picking up a new standalone book by an author you might be getting something super different. That novelty can be appealing, but it also increases the risk to the reader that they're going to be buying a book that they won't like.

Series help build readership. If I read a standalone book by an author and then read a different standalone book by them three years later, I may not associate them with the same author--but if I read book one in a series and then I read book two, even if it's been a while, I'm going to associate it with that person. Particularly given point two, I'm probably more likely to trust that I'm going to like the next book in the series and buy it or even pre-order it, but I'm less likely to do that with an author who writes primarily standalones.

Series build a backlist. If I see book 12 has come out and it looks interesting, I might go back and read book 1 (and then, if I like it, books 2-12). If I see a standalone has come out, I'm not necessarily going to go back and read all of their other books unless I love the standalone, and sometimes not even then.

Series build industry names. Off the top of my head, I could name you 5-10 authors who write M/M and M/F romances. For sapphic romances, off the top of my head I can think of three (Rachel Lacey, Haley Cass, Radclyffe). That's not to say that there aren't more, or more that I've read, but if I've read one-off books by them, they're not necessarily going to stick in my head the same way.

Some subgenres lend themselves to series, and right now sapphic books are super limited in them. Paranormal romance, urban fantasy (not technically romance), and romantic suspense in particular are severely lacking in sapphic series, and these are all subgenres where a series often has a meaningfully different vibe than a standalone book.

There are several fantastic authors writing award-winning books (particularly fantasy and sci fi) about queer women, but those aren't the books you're generally going to go to for a fun read. For a beach read. For an "I've had a long day" read.

And this is not at all to discount those books, because it's so important and amazing to see queer (and particularly sapphic) books winning awards, especially now. But we are still seeing a huge disparity between sapphic and non-sapphic books in the more commercial/approachable parts of publishing (trad publishing and otherwise).

[httpssturns]

“Wait, don't forget your wallet!”

♡ sweet tooth!nick x carnie!chase♡

cw: nothing really, just cuteness, some flirting, goofy silly shit au masterlist ○ main masterlist

Nick loves the carnival. Not just loves, the carnival is his life.

If he could live there, he really would. With all of the lights and the diverse people, the delicious snacks, and most importantly, the stuffed animals.

He has always adored stuffed animals, since he was little, that was always just his thing. Nick has such a big stuffed animal collection that it's honestly quite insane, he's in need of a room upgrade because at this point? He's the one being moved out—not the plushies.

Despite being fully aware of this, he's still out on the hunt for more of the plush mammals, its a full time job at this point.

“Come on guys, the carnival isn't closing yet, I still haven't won one yet, Rich needs more friends!” Nick whines, tugging at Chris and Matt's shirt sleeves even though it's quite obvious they want to leave already.

“Nick, we're going to wait in the car, please hurry up and get your stuffed animal. We are not coming with you for another what, 10k steps? I speak for the both of us when we say we're good." Chris chuckles, nudging Matt's shoulder with his own and eliciting a small laugh of agreement from him.

Nick scoffs “Fuck you guys.. I'll do it myself then! And you two won't lay a hand on him either.” he grumbles, stalking off from the parking lot to the array of ring tosses and duck reel-ins.

He comes across a stand that he really likes, and a stuffed animal. Ever since he saw it today, he's had his eyes on it like a tiger laying eyes on rabbit. And what's really funny, is that's exactly what it is.

It's a medium sized bunny, a brownish fluffy one with soulful eyes and floppy ears. something that would immediately capture anyone that had a heart. Including Nick.

“Hello, how many horseshoe would you like? There's a 3 toss, but the 6 really gets you your money's worth.” The worker says with a cup of his hand, like he's telling a secret that no one else knows.

Nick let out a light laugh, already fishing out his wallet. “Are you sure you're not trying to get more money out of me?” he teases, although he grabs 6 dollars anyway.

“I'll take the 6. I'm Nick, by the way.”

“6, coming up.” The worker replies, and with a spin of his shoe and a lift of his finger, he's already placing the 6 horseshoe in front of Nick like he's done this a million times.

“And, I'm Chase, but you could probably see that 'cuz of my nametag.” The boy replies with a cheeky wink of his eye.

Nick begins to toss his horseshoes, attempting—and failing to ever get one around the pole.

“Fuck,” Nick murmurs with a slight chew of his lips, letting out a big sigh.

“I'm not usually that bad.” he says with a quiet laugh, an embarrassed lilt to his tone like it's so mortifying to lose a carnival game.

“Hey, it's fine, some people talk big money and lose even worse than you did.” Chase laugh, giving Nick a boyish grin.

Nick's heart flutters at the sight, but he shakes it off. “I would try again, but my brothers are going to be exponentially pissed at me if I take any longer.”

“i'm pretty sure you'll be back, I think I've seen you here before?” Chase counters with a half smile and a shrug.

“Yeah, I will,” Nick smiles. “But that bunny won't be.” he adds to his words, the statement more like a thought to himself. I guess it's time to kiss Rich's new best friend goodbye.

“hey,” Chase starts, looking around cautiously before grabbing the rabbit.

What is he doing?

“Just uh, pretend you won. I think this is against the rules.” Chase whispers with a grin, handing it to Nick and making a ruckus about how ‘he won’ just like he does with other winners, except this one didn't win at all.

“Really, it's okay.. I don't need it-” Nick protests, but Chase only waves off his concern.

“You've earned it, practically won anyways.” he smiles, letting out a quiet laugh at Nick's flustered behavior.

“Just don't make me regret it, yeah?”

“I—thank you, I won't.” Nick murmurs with a giddy excitement, clutching the bunny to his chest.

When Nick turns to leave, Chase lets out a soft, gleeful laugh. “Wait, don't forget your wallet!”

Nick turns back only to snatch his wallet from the counter, his face a bright red. “thank you, bye!” He squeaks, speedily walking over to Matt's car. He doesn't say a word the whole ride, only hugging the bunny to his chest and wearing a big grin.

Fuck, I should've asked for his number.

@strangergraphics-archive for the dividers!

☆soph's notes: first candy au real fic!!! yay yay yay!!! I hope you guys like this because I kind of don't like it but wtv. I also kind of didn't proofread 😚✌️

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ @sugarraez @ribbonlovergirl @slvt4subchratt @bernardsbendystraws @oopsiedaisydeer @backwardshatnick @izzylovesmatt @viviansturns @courta13 @coquettechris @matts-wife @matts-babytomatoes @whore4chris @lilssturns @bambi-cloud9 @sturns-mermaid @mattswrinkleton @irlbcmbi @pizzapocketpocketpizza

[dxwjj]

Rosée's babies¡!

This is just me yapping about my kids in my enhypen dr cause I love them so much.

Starting with my prince, my baby, the light of my life, my pretty sunshine, grumpy purring buddy. His name is Albert (similar) and I found him in november 2022, one midnight while going out for snacks with Jay near the dorm. He was soooo tiny, meowing nonstop cause the baby was all alone :( so I took him in and somehow convince my manager to let me keep him, the boys didn't even got a say in it, lol. Those in the pics are just resembles cause my baby is way cuter and I'm a crazy ass so I gatekeep. Was my baby here so I'm dragging him everywhere.

I'm sharing this cause I think it's kinda cute, but in Argentina we have something called "cábala" which is like a little "ritual"/lucky charm we use for football matches (not sure if that's common everywhere 🤔). And during the 2022 world cup, EVERY household had one, and in my house it ended up being him. I remember Argentina lost the first match, BUT then two days later I found this baby = Argentina won the next game, so the baby stayed = Argentina won the world cup¡! So he's my lucky charm ever since. I scripted the same thing happened in my dr, so the boys have to treat him like royalty.

⋆ he's a fatass. Eats 24/7, even the crumbs that falls on the floor. ⋆ I don't know why, but he likes to fart in my face before cuddling... I take that as a love language. ⋆ likes texting my contacts "jdhscjkaw". ⋆ sigma (independent) but still stupid af. ⋆ talkative ass cat, doesn't even know how to meow properly (he just goes "eee-ee").

This gorgeous cat is Ddongsik. Some engenes might recognize him—the one Heeseung almost adopted during a MV shoot. In this reality the cat was/is gray buuuut I've always wanted a black one, so now I'm gonna have him. We, Hee and I, got him so Albert won't be alone when we're away for long hours. So technically it's my cat's cat, lol. It's a really beautiful cat but for some reason I'm not fully attached to him, yet at least. Maybe cause he's alsooo someone else's cat🤔 so in my head I can already see Hee being the one he bonds with more... still, whatever the reason is, I just know I'll love him once he's with me¡!

⋆ already a traitor if he ends up liking Hee more. ⋆ hoping he's chill and not too surly. ⋆ love hee's choice in name, but I would've gone with batman or Mr. Wayne (fur color has nothing to do with this + I'm actully calling him that).

Then we have this princess¡! She's not with me in my dr yet, but look at that face... I'm already in love. Still nameless, but she kinda gives Emma, or Miel/Mielcita (honey/little honey) energy. I'll probably get her once I move to the new place, in my dr that's sometime around march/april 2024¿? She's gonna be my baby only, but I can already sense Hee's ass saying he's the father or something, bro doesn't even take proper care of Ddongsik, but okay, my boy can dream.

⋆ oh... she's gonna be so spoiled. ⋆ looks like she's real clean, bet she even enjoys baths. ⋆ probably has the cutest meows ever.

That's it. I also want ferrets and turtles, but for now I think 3 cats are enough.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: August Wrap-Up.

Hey, would you look at that, it's suddenly September! Rude and uncalled for. This month, I did a lot of knitting (two sets of gloves and two hats! gearing up for holiday season), and a LOT of writing (finished the first 16k draft of a scene, who???), and read uh. Some. I didn't finish a ton of books, but I did make it through what felt like a ton of pages.

Two-thirds of this month's reading were post-apocalyptic-community-oriented, on purpose, to feed into my current writing project, and that worked really well--either I'm very good at choosing books that match the vibe I need, or my ADHD brain is good at making connections, OR a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Photos and/or reviews linked below:

GHOST STATION (pages-out stand-in book pictured above, because I checked it out from the library after canceling my paperback pre-order, which was a good call) - ★★ This was very bad. Bad science, stupid incompetent characters, JUST enough neat worldbuilding to make it FRUSTRATING that this missed so hard. I'm bummed because I wanted to read DEAD SILENCE by this author, too, but I don't trust her now :(

ALWAYS COMING HOME - ★★★★½ Loved this!! Dense and chewy, and it required a lot of patience, but it was very rewarding and I'm really glad I read it. My absolute favorite passage was about scrub oaks, but I posted a few other highlights and tagged them as "le guin posting," if you're interested! If you like Le Guin and/or utopias and better futures and/or huge books that push what it means to Be A Novel, check this out for sure.

ARCHANGELS OF FUNK - ★★★½ So. I didn't realize that this was attached to a few other novels she's already written. And I read it cold (oops). Goodreads informed me that it was Book #2 of Cinnamon Jones, and review-diving indicated that REDWOOD AND WILDFIRE is also implicated in its worldbuilding, but that didn't stop me because I can't read. I would like to revisit this one after I've read those other two, I think, but!: The community and vibes and Making Art At The End Of The World were all immaculate, and the character names made me feel vindicated in some of my own naming conventions (seriously: there's an Indigo in this, and a Game-Boy, and Hawk, I can't make this shit up).

Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~

Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of this month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:

★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).

★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).

★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.

★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.

★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!

★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!

[morningmask27]

Love being the one who has to be responsible for all the organization bs in a group work </3

[jewishcissiekj]

new month new locg stats! read so many comics this month and I only have Passover to blame

[hazelplaysgames]

state of the Hazel: not doing too great. general summertime sadness combined with a recently passed cat of mine is not great for the mind. i'm gonna miss that big dope.

i'm getting a good sense for how i'm also feeling gameways, though it ain't much good news. getting back into Persona is feeling rough because i feel like i "have to" play it more than i "want to" play it, generally never great. i still really want to have played it and post the clips here, but given the whole moderation issues of this site, it feels like there's added pressure to do it before it's too late, whether or not "too late" is something i actually need to worry about.

as for more immediate issues, sticking to just Splatoon for so long is getting me into burnout phases. i can understand why, in the past few years, i've usually finished at least one or two pokemon monotype runs by August, maybe visit another game for a good while, but i've done neither this year.

i think playing a new game is probably the best way to get out of this funk right now, though. precisely, i think something i never posted here could work best, to help enjoy the posting process a little bit more too.

i did a whole shopping list in the tags sitting on this, but that'll do for this one. give myself a little time with something new, should be be fine.

[mochinon-yah]

I think i'm just full of repressed aggression, and it's all slowly seeping out every time i interact with the world

[spacedustmantis]

sigh. yet another incredibly improtant self discovery that i won't be able to tell my parents about....

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die

He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.

And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.

Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.

What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.

So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.

The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.

A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.

That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.

"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"

And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."

"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"

Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.

Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.

[pianocat939]

Yandere Player 230 (Thanos) Headcanons

(Since at the time of this post I finished episode 5, I'll only include the first 2 games, but I'll probably finish the season in like a day or two, so I'll probably write a part 2 later)

All my headcanons of Squid Game from here on out are the players trying to keep MC from being killed. For non-players, I'll think of something else.

Part 2

Tw: aggressive behaviour (slight violence), [Murder is probably gonna be the next part]

Probably notices you because one: you pretty. Especially when 196 dies right away. Before the game even starts though, he's already trying to flirt. He tries so hard to glorify himself so that maybe you'd be interested in him.

I say 100% what would pull him in even more is if the reaction from you turns out to be either: "No thanks" or "???". Like you're just trying to get the money. This Thanos dude is weird.

As soon as the first game starts and player 196 dies, he immediately focuses all of his attention on you. Other than winning the game of course.

Let's you lose your footing and start to fall when the doll the turns around. But just in the perfect moment, he hugs you from behind, keeping you pressed against him. He snickers, staring at you.

"Senorita, don't die yet. I haven't you made you obsess over me."

You know how high this mf is. He will try to get you to gallop with him lmao. He be like "Yippeee"

As you make the finish line. He pulls your cheek, laughing like a psycho.

"You're so cute. Don't worry. Thanos will destroy the evil with his infinity stones."

During voting, he tries to convince you to vote blue. He wants you on his team. He wants to keep playing this hellhole of a game with you. He's a psycho, he knows that.

If you don't, he'll just be clingy af and stick to you as much as possible. He literally doesn't give a single fuck what everyone else thinks. He just wants you to acknowledge him and maybe show interest.

During meal time, he probably tries to feed you or get you to feed him. He probably pokes you with the spoon until you eat.

"Come onnnn, you need to eat if you wanna survive with me, yeah?"

During sleep time, istg 10000% he will try to get into your bed when you're asleep. He doesn't care if it wakes you up. He just wants to see your reaction. He would try to convince you to sleep beside him too. He doesn't really care if it's cramped or not.

He definitely will offer his pills to you. Nothing's better than making sure you're not panicked and getting yourself killed.

During game 2, he'll pull you into his team along with Namgyu. He'll let you pick whatever game you're good at. He'll definitely make sure you're next to him. Preferably on the edge so you're only connected to him.

"You stay next to me. You're good at 딱지 No?"

During the 2nd voting, he'll be much more aggressive with trying to get you to continue the game. If you choose no, he'll be much more pissy and follow you everywhere. If you choose yes, you'll just feed into his interest with you. He'll hug you or hold your arm.

During the 2nd night, he'll just pull you to his mattress and not let you leave. He's surprisingly very perceptive. He won't hesitate to squeeze your arm a little tighter to make sure you stay.

"Don't leave little mouse. Wouldn't want to get stabbed to shreds by someone, right?"

He likes showing off his raps to you. He doesn't care if someone thinks he's stupid or weird.

"It's Thanos yeah? Wouldn't wanna kill yourself yeah?"

—————————————————————————

I'm sorry if my grammar is literally all over the place. If you couldn't tell, I am down bad for Thanos (and his actor being T.O.P. doesn't help).

- Celina

[digitald0rk]

ANIMAL ATTRACTION

𓏵𓏵 DON'T LET HER GET AWAY ! mark grayson ( invincible ) x fem reader ( catwoman ) synopsis : in which mark tries to put a kitty back in her cage. warnings ⤻ swearing, suggestive content, you are a tease <3 mentions of blood, sexual tension, grinding? no actual smut. w.c : 3.5k. notes — mark's still a rookie hero ++ new to the GDA so yeah :3 he's trying his best! not to let his hormones control him. title is indeed a swr reference.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ taglist ! @vm4879bb-blog @fairii-majii @hihowyoudoin00 @rayaaa4444 @wadehowl3tt @luvvcharxo @lacesoflove @urmyvalentine1 @sweetb3rry

this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

the plan was simple: retrieve the stolen jewels from the infamous thief and then take care of said thief.

so why the hell is he just staring at you from the shadows as you toy with one of the shiny red rubies, holding it up and watching as the moonlight reflects off it prettily.

“mark,” cecil's voice rings in the half viltrumite’s ear, “are you there? can you hear me kid?”

“huh? i mean yeah, yeah i’m here.”

“you catch the thief yet?”

“uh no but i’m getting to it”

liar, it's been twenty minutes, he could easily overpower you — but he hasn't, yet.

“i’ll talk to you when i’m done okay? don't want her getting suspicious or something.”

“you know i can see you, right?”

oh fuck.

a nervous chuckle escaped his lips at that, he floats closer to you sitting on the roof — all clad in that leather body suit that makes him feel lightheaded and that damn smile, you know what you're doing, there's no way you don't know the effect you have on him. he rips his gaze away from your thighs, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

“what you did was not very nice,” he says dumbly, his voice cracks slightly at the end and he wishes the ground would swallow him.

“oh i'm well aware invinciboy.” holy shit are you teasing him? you're still playing around with the gem in your hand, it's like you're not scared or even slightly fazed by his presence, he's not sure how to feel about that.

“ah, so you know who i am?” he huffs a little proudy, “you know stealing is a crime right?” he asks, again a very dumb question but his brain is a little fried right now especially with the way you're looking at him like that.

“i’m gonna have to take you with me,” he manages to say.

“a man who knows what he wants,” you put the ruby back in the sack full of other similar precious jewels and walk closer to him, hand pressed against his chest as you lean over to whisper in his ear, “i like that.”

he's going to die.

his heart jumps at the action — beating way too fast, it's almost painful, he's sure you can hear it too.

“listen lady, you're coming with me,” he says weakly, stepping away a little and trying to put some distance between you two for his own sanity, god you smell good.

“go on and try, pretty boy,” you challenge him, holding his gaze as you step away too — you sound a little too confident, too sure of yourself.

he'll just have to put you in your place.

or maybe he won't, he feels dizzy all of a sudden before his head starts pounding and eyes start getting heavy, he groans at the pain.

and just like that, you're swinging the sack over your shoulder and getting ready to run away, looking back at him through your mask, the wind making your suit's tail sway.

“wait,” he pathetically calls out, his body feels weak — what on earth have you done to him?

you throw his way the now empty small dart, with a pointy needle attached at one end, that you stabbed him with, which was probably filled with some sort of drug or worse poison, he assumes. so that beating of his heart wasn't that painful for no reason, you had stabbed him huh? he should've been more careful — shouldn't have underestimated you.

he tries reaching for you again but his knees give out, making him fall onto the cold rough floor of the building's rooftop, he grunts and looks up at you as he tries to keep his eyes open.

and you have the audacity to blow him a kiss playfully, “we'll meet again invincible,” you even send his way a wink for good measure before you make your escape, effortlessly moving to jump from one rooftop to another, landing precisely each time.

mark reluctantly falls into a slumber, hearing cecil’s worried voice as his eyes shut down.

he feels groggy and disoriented when he wakes up in the all too familiar GDA patient rooms.

“about time,” cecil’s voice makes him sit up a little bit straighter as he tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“how long was i out for?”

“almost six hours.”

it was supposed to be a simple job, in fact he only took it because he needed a break from all the intense, hard hitting, leaving-him-with-severe-injuries missions. he knows cecil is disappointed — heck, he's disappointed with himself too.

“get some rest kid, i’ll send someone else to take care of her.”

“no let me, let me fix my mistake, let me go after her again,” mark says without thinking. it's his job to stop crime, he'll do it no matter what  — is it also an excuse to see you? maybe. 

cecil sighs, “fine. but you better get that damn cat in her cage. and don't hold back this time.”

he's going to see you again. 

“why are you smiling?”

“i’m not!”

“give me that bag right now,” mark demands.

the GDA was able to track you down easily — or maybe that's what you wanted, as donald had suggested earlier.

now here he is, standing in front of you in your little hideout, the bag of precious gems behind you as you guard them with a charming smile.

“i don't appreciate your tone, sweetheart.”

“well i don't appreciate you stabbing me with a sleeping drug either.”

“heard you superheros don't get enough sleep, i’m just trying to look out for my favorite one, love.”

you're messing with him — it's working, the thought of him being your favorite in any kind of sense makes his cheeks heat up.

“don't make me use force, cat,” he threatens, walking closer. except you don't back down, you never do and it annoys him deeply. he takes a hold of your neck and pins you to the wall behind with a loud thud, the sack worth probably millions momentarily forgotten — his eyes trained on you as if he's waiting for you to validate him, his strength.

“choking? well that's certainly kinky.”

“what?” he stammers out, he knows you're enjoying this — his cheeks are flushed from both the proximity and your words.

“you heard me,” you smile up at him like he can't just crush your bones in a second of he wanted to, “didn't take you for such a bold one,” you muse aloud, nails lightly raking against his suit from his neck down to his chest, the action sending a shiver down his spine that settles low in his gut, a familiar heat starting to bloom down there.

“you're coming with me,” his voice is rough as he turns you around so your front is pressed against the cold wall and he pins your hands behind your back with one hand while the other rests on the back of your neck.

his eyes not so subtly take in the view — the leather of the black suit clings to your body deliciously, the slight arch of your back and the way the fabric stretches across your thighs and ass has his breathing hitching.

“enjoying the view back there invinciboy?” you sway your hips side to side as if to taunt him which makes him huff, the sound annoyed but undeniably laced with some sort of fondness.

“you're so annoying,” he whispers into your ear — just like you did before you decided to drug him and knock him out.

mark presses himself against your body almost unconsciously, gulping when he feels the swell of your ass rub against his very obvious hard problem.

“is that a gun or are you just excited to see me?”

“shut up,” he mutters, embarrassed but still wishing you'd continue to grind back on him to offer him some sort of relief — relief which he hasn't been able to get ever since your first meeting.

“well then maybe you should put my mouth to good use.”

excuse me? his mouth goes dry at your comment.

and for a moment his teenage hormone driven brain even considers the very obvious inappropriate insinuation before he snaps out of it at cecil’s voice.

the bag.

mark drags you with him, manhandling you — something which you look a little too happy with but he doesn't comment on it, instead he grabs the bag with his free hand that's not restricting your arms but it feels suspiciously light.

so he empties out its contents carefully and lo and behold, it's only filled with a handful of gemstones — the bottom is filled with cotton and other trash of no use.

he glares at you, scoffing when you only playfully bat your eyelashes at him, feigning innocence.

“where's the rest of them?”

“maybe they turned into wool?” you shrug and his eye twitches.

“don't play dumb with me cat, where are they?” his patience is running thin.

“fineeee, they're in the vault down there, under the desk.”

he's still wary of you — for good reason, but he knows he can stop you if you try to run away and plus his main priority is those stupid gems so he lets you go, moving to locate the said vault.

he manages to find it, entering the passcode you gave him and opens the metal vault.

mark immediately gets hit in the face with some sort of gas can which leaves him coughing and wheezing, the purple colored gas leaking and making it hard to see, even his eyes start watering a bit as he tries to find where you are.

you yelp when he ends up yanking your tail, dragging you right to him and where the fuck did you get that mask? of course you planned everything till the end, you always do.

he's about to catch you, once and for all but you catch him off guard, pulling the dirtiest, most unfair trick in the book, a kick right to his family jewels. ouch.

he winces loudly and stumbles back a little, the purple haze only getting more dense as the seconds tick by making it even harder to see, he can make out the faint sound of your pretty voice through the gas mask, “sorry!” yeah right, you don't sound sorry at all.

his eyes feel heavy, not this again — does this woman have a thing for knocking people out or something? mark thinks as his consciousness starts to fade out, the sound of your footsteps fading away as well.

and just like that you've slipped through his fingers. again.

he'll catch you, just you wait.

he wakes up after god knows how many hours, why the fuck is he all tied up with a mirror in front of him — he groans in frustration when he comes to the conclusion it's probably your doing.

i mean who else would draw cat whiskers and a dot on his nose and leave him tied up in the same spot he was once again outsmarted by you — it is humiliating and he is definitely not turned on by the idea of you tying him up to do something else. nope. no.

oh right there's cecil, clearly not amused.

“mark.”

the younger man sighs, he knows he's in for it.

much to his surprise, the stolen jewels — half of them, were found in the same bag behind some important political building which mark would know of if he did actually pay attention in class and wasn't busy day dreaming about catching you, chasing after you — the thrill of it all is something he craves.

he knows you steal from the rich, but it's still a crime. 

so when he catches you in the act of seemingly stealing another thing, in broad daylight this time, that honestly he could care less about, he wastes no time flying over and grabbing your tail — okay, he may or may not have a thing for pulling on it.

“cat.” he tackles you to the ground, palms sweaty at how close you two are— which to his amusement you look very happy about, being underneath him like this. it's almost as if you planned this too.

your bodies pressed together has him acting up, a soft almost imperceptible sound leaving his mouth. the softness of your chest against his, your nails lightly raking up and down his arms, he feels himself getting worked up.

“invincible.” you smile up at him like you can see right through him, like you know how red his face is beneath that mask.

“come on, just hand over whatever you've stolen.” he grunts when you swiftly move to roll over with him, he's now under you.

“you mean your heart? oh sweet boy it's right there,” your place your palm flat against his erratically beating heart, “although it seems like it will jump out any second,” you chuckle, those annoyingly alluring eyes staring right into his soul.

“stop that.” he says weakly even though his hands move to settle on your hips, his mind already going a mile a minute as he takes in the position you two find yourself in.

“stop what?” you shift slightly on top of him, sitting up and he pathetically chases the friction of your leather clad body rubbing against his bulge, a small sound escaping his lips much to his horror.

“looking at me like that.” it makes his skin feel like it's on fire.

wait, no why are you getting up?  goddamnit it no!

mark can't help but gasp when your heeled foot rests on his chest, the heel slightly digging into his suit, the pressure is delicious and so is the view — you standing over him, looking down at him like that, like you'll eat him alive, he's not sure how his heart hasn't given out yet. if omniman finds out about this he's sure his father would never look at him the same.

and then you drag the heel down, from his chest down to his needy aching clothed cock and gently apply more pressure by shifting more of your weight onto it and he moans so prettily — a familiar throb settles between your legs.

he desperately bucks his hips up, but you pull away completely, leaving him flushed and panting oh so horny.

“you're evil,” he frowns up at you, reaching to tug on your suit's tail, holding back a chuckle at your little gasp as you lose your balance.

“you seem to enjoy it.” you're not wrong.

you throw his way the small pouch you stole before jumping down to make your escape like you always do, leaving him needy, conflicted and confused each time.

he sighs as he undoes the strings closing the pouch to open it, curious to see what you'd given up on so easily.

his jaw practically falls to the floor.

you fucking tease.

it's a pair of panties — your panties, a small note falls out of the pouch too, “have fun sweetheart,” it says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

he should've known, those wide eyes of yours as he caught you “stealing” were just for show.

he resists the urge to just relieve himself right then and there, hands toying with the soft fabric of the material in his hand, mouth going dry as he rubs his thumb across the gusset, mind going into overdrive.

god, does this mean you know that he's a pervert and touches himself to the thought of you?

he needs a cold shower.

with the way everything is going in the superhero business, mark decides to quit GDA to clear things up and just help people without cecil barking orders at him.

it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that cecil had to witness you two being horny bastards, grinding on each other because holy shit did you look good with blood on you.

mark blamed it on some villain's “sex pollen” afterwards, both cecil and him knowing it's a damn lie.

yeah no, he's going to stay away from cecil for a bit, that was embarrassing — although he has zero regrets.

“sorry for you know . . . kicking your balls and making you lose your job.”

you say it so casually like you didn't just once again somehow manage to knock him unconscious when he was on his way back to his house from a mission — where the hell are you getting all these resources and equipment from anyways?

and now he's here, hanging upside down by some flimsy rope that you both know he can easily break, but he won't.

last time he used his strength, you ran away and that did not sit well with him no matter how much he tried to deny it.

so he'll indulge you in your antics as long as your attention is on him and him only.

“apology rejected.”

you act wounded at his words like he's ripped your heart out or something with the way you're clutching your chest all dramatically, the action makes his lips twitch into a small smile.

“well that won't do,” your eyes sparkle with that gleam, dangerous and all too familiar to him, “how can i make you accept my apology then, invincible?” 

it seems like you already have something in mind because you're leaning closer and closer, until your lips are only an inch apart from his.

except obviously you don't act all suave about it and have to say some shit like, “damn your lips are dry as hell,” which makes him laugh more than self-conscious, he knows they're not dry — he's been taking care of himself a lot more ever since you've stepped into his life, you know just in case you two kiss or something, a small innocent, okay maybe not innocent, but nevertheless a fantasy that he certainly does not dream about everyday.

his dad did not tell him that being a superhero comes with whatever this is, he was never told it meant being stuck with an annoyingly hot woman who he's ready to do a concerning amount of things for, just for the rush of adrenaline that he's sure he's grown addicted to.

just like he's grown addicted to your presence.

“i think you need to moisturize them,” you clear your throat, your flirty facade breaking the tiniest bit, eyes glued to his lips.

and he's not that dumb. he knows what you want and lucky for you he wants that too — maybe even more than you.

“yeah i really do, think you can help me out with that cat?” 

“i think i can,” your lips brush against his teasingly — but you're holding yourself back, giving him the option to back away if you've read into the situation wrong but he doesn't. instead he firmly presses his lips against yours and for all the innuendos that get thrown around between you two and the undeniable sexual tension, the kiss is sweet, almost tender — his lips moving in tandem with yours.

it lasts for what feels like an eternity — but not nearly enough when you two pull away. he immediately regrets the action.

he doesn't need to breathe, he needs you.

mark chases your lips, fully expecting you to tease him about his clear desperation but you don't, you kiss him back, again.

“is my apology accepted now?” you mumble against his lips, he chuckles at your words having completely forgotten about that, “yeah,” he gives you a lopsided grin that has you smiling back.

“you gotta work on your morals, kissing a thief? now that's just low invincible”

“no no it wasn't kissing, remember? you were-”, he tried to do air quotes before realizing his hands are still tied, “you were helping me moisture my lips, no?” he teases you back, the playful banter flows easily between you two, like always.

“oh right, my bad, moisturizing.”

“i think my lips are still dry though.” he sheepishly says, hoping you'll kiss him some more.

and you do.

this is so wrong, he knows that, but your lips against his feel like heaven, your hand cupping his jaw oh so gently like he's made of glass just feels so right.

he stiffens slightly when he feels you lick a strip up his face. you menace, his eyes snap open and look at you in mock disappointment.

“are you ever not horny?

“that's bold coming from you invincible.”

“you're gonna leave me blue balled again, aren't you, you tease?” he sighs exasperatedly.

you gasp, “at least take me out on a date first,” your faux offense is adorable — like you haven't been making his life a literal nightmare with all those teasing touches and heated gazes.

he forgets whatever he was about to say when you gently force his jaw open, thumb tracing his jawline while you slide a piece of paper in his mouth, “close your mouth,” your tone alone is enough to make him obey, closing his mouth — teeth holding onto the paper’s edge.

“good boy.”

mark feels himself getting hot and bothered at your praise. he holds your gaze, hoping for an explanation.

“my number, love.”

oh, so you weren't messing around for once.

you press one last kiss, to the tip of his nose before hopping onto some building's ledge, your body moving gracefully, once again leaving him hanging — quite literally this time.

© digitald0rk 2025. do not steal, repost or translate any of my work. want more? click here ★

[ryker-writes]

Okay okay, my ideas:

Bestfolk claims 'ownership' by biting. So if you bite a beastperson you're close to, it's considered a proposal. Now imagine one day, let's say Ruggie steals your food, and tries to run away. You chase him, you two start fighting, and you bite him. He freezes because Are you serious?! He has to tell his grandma right away, her little boy found someone! Or maybe Leona annoyed you because he skipped something again and you got in trouble for. In petty retaliation, you bite his ear. The dorm falls silent, and Leona is shook because how bold can you be?! Doing that in front of everyone?! You know he won't be king, right? And you still want to... Okay.

For Riddle, I can imagine there's a rule for it. It's pretty complicated, but somehow you managed to hit it to a T. Riddle is flustered, because you wouldn't do these things just for the sake of it, right?! Not in the correct order, not in this perfect way. You must know the rule, and this is a proposal, right?! Just.. give him a bit. You're both still so young, but rest assured he feels the same way.

Scarabia I can imagine their country has an old timey way of proposing. Because it's based on Aladdin, I can imagine it involves Jasmine flowers and a phrasing of fulfilling all wishes. Like making a flower crown out of jasmines, placing it on your beloved's head and telling them if they have any wishes, you'd be happy to fulfill them. Jamil is just frozen in shock. He's a servant, he was always told he comes second, he always had to give everything up to Kalim. Yet here you are, proposing to him. He can't believe his luck, and he'll make sure to be the best, so you won't ever think of leaving. Kalim on the other hand is just extatic, hugging you tightly and telling you of course and how much he loves you. You're confused, but okay. You did just promise to fulfill every wish he might have, he probably means he'll wish for you to come to every party. That'd be something Kalim would do. Until you visit Scarabia the next time, and everyone is preparing some big event. And Jamil is miffed at you because didn't warn him, and Kalim sprung this engagement party just on him. Do you not know the stuff he had to prepare?!

Pomefiore is different. Harveston probably has an old tradition of proposing too. But it's so old, no one really does it anymore. It's meant to show you can provide for your partner. Cooking and being able to carry them over the doorstep. So one evening, Epel comes to visit to escape Vil for a bit and vent. You listen, and offer him some of the food you made. By coincidence, it happens to be his favorite. You two banter, and somehow the topic comes to strength, and Epel confidentaly says he could carry you. You decide to test it, and he manages! For a few seconds, at least. Then, it's your turn, you pick him up, carry him a few steps. From the kitchen to the living room. Over a doorstep. Only on his way back to Pomefiore does Epel realize all this. You can't have known, right? Then again, you were in Harveston with him. Maybe his grandma told you? Vil's is easier. You know he wants to embody the Fairest Queen, but what you don't know is, that people sometimes used a mirror to propose for that. They'd hold it to their beloved's face and spill their heart out, as if they are the enchanted mirror from the tale. One day, you walk in on Rook trying to compliment Vil with a mirror. You take it from Rook, and give Vil compliments beyond his looks. Complimenting his passion, his determination, how his eyes look when he does something he loves, etc. Vil is flustered, because do you know what you're doing? Well, one way or another, he now knows who he wants to bring to the altar one day.

OMG WAIT THIS IS SOOOO CUTE I LOVE IT

all these scenarios are adorable and I would 100% accidentally do them ;-;

I bite out of affection so woops maybe I'm accidentally marrying Leona-

[astraveritas]

── .✦ Dark side of the 10H SYNASTRY can have this “look what I have” type of energy, where one person treats the other like a possession and they want the whole world to know that. They want to post you on every social media they have, they will drag you to every event and introduce you to everyone they know. They will be proud of you, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it feels like it's that kind of pride a man has when he brags about his new car. It can be flattering but also deeply uncomfortable and dehumanizing. People who are not comfortable with this type of attention and treatment will probably avoid 10H contacts.

── .✦ On the positive side 10H SYNASTRY overlays can be your biggest hypeman. They genuinely want you to succeed in life. They will drive you to that job interview, they will help you study for your exam, they will encourage you when you decide to open up that business you were dreaming of your whole life. This synastry overlay has a sweet aspect to it that a lot of people overlook.

── .✦ I'm in my controversial era but I find the funniest duos are those that have MERCURY SQUARE MERCURY in synastry. It's often indicator of miscommunication and misunderstandings in relationships, and I don't deny that, this definitely is a dark side of this contact. But I think it can have somehow positive side in platonic relationships and friendships. I find that people with this aspect in synastry bounce of each other better that those with conjunctions or oppositions. That harsh clash of energy in a fight will leave you both in tears, but between best friends it's that type of energy that will have you talk to each other like sarcastic assholes and you both know that the other doesn't mean it and it's just the effects of how comfortable you are with each other. It reminds me of those "the way you talk to your friends vs the way you talk to your best friends" memes . But I might be biased cause I'm generally fascinated with squares in synastry.

── I find that SQUARES IN SYNASTRY have tendency to create feelings of unfamiliarity which can cause deep fascination and in more extreme cases obsession. I always say that oppositions are like a chess or a ping pong game. You know your rival, you both know the rules, you're standing face to face, it's all back and forth. Challenging but familiar. Squares on the other hand have no rules, they will hit you from the side when you least expect it. It's something new, something different, something unfamiliar that will shake you to your core and force you out of your comfort zone. That's why I personally think having some squares peppered in between conjunctions and trines in synastry won't have you feeling stuck and bored.

── .✦ If you’re not a plutonian yourself and you find yourself in a heavy PLUTONIAN RELATIONSHIP it might evoke feelings of jealousy and possessiveness in you that you’ve never experienced before, to the point you start asking yourself “what’s happening? I don’t usually act like this”. It’s probably pluto aspecting the inner planets. From what I’ve noticed the most prominent aspects that cause this are tight squares and oppositions between pluto and moon/venus .

── .✦ Every time I check synastry for someone who told me they “had instant chemistry” and “there were sparks flying” the moment they met this person, like a clockwork the MOON-MARS aspects show up. I've seen VENUS-URANUS or VENUS - ASCENDANT being mentioned but I think those are the "instant attraction" not "instant chemistry" aspects since they can be pretty one sided. It's someone seeing you and going "whoa, you're hot and aesthetically pleasing I want that" and you might not feel the same way about them. Moon-Mars is felt by both equally. First thing I noticed is the heavy eye contact and tension. These two will stare at each other like they wanna fight or fuck and you're not sure which way they'll swing.

── .✦ When someone puts their MARS IN YOUR 12H , much of their effort to connect with you and get to know you becomes obstructed in some way, particularly during the early stages of the relationship. You are confused because their energy can't reach you directly. You're not sure if they want you or you just made that up in your head. A lot of times, it’s a result of the surrounding circumstances rather than a conscious choice by the house person to ignore the Mars person. It's not like the house person is rejecting the Mars person; it's much more like "It's not like I don't want you; I just don't know what you want from me." The Mars person can also end up hurt because all of their efforts feel unnoticed and ignored. It's as if they both navigate through a fog; making a connection is challenging. 12H SYNASTRY will leave you questioning your sanity: "There was something there. I did not make that up in my mind, or did I?"

── .✦ MERCURY-ASCENDANT conjunction in synastry is such a great aspect. This is the "I know what you mean" aspect. The ascendant person can really easily understand and verbalize the thoughts and feelings that the Mercury person might find difficult to articulate. I love seeing it in a synastry chart; the communication sometimes feels telepathic, especially when Mercury conjuncts the ascendant from the 12H.

── .✦ My favorite synastry aspect is positive MOON-VENUS contacts, they are like a sweetener in relationships. The "I have a soft spot for this person" aspect. It brings a lot of forgiving and understanding energy to the relationship. In particular, the Venus person being the Moon's person's safe space and giving them a lot of reassurance and acceptance when they express their emotions. The Venus person will understand, so the moon person won't feel uncomfortable expressing themselves. This aspect always adds a feeling of genuine sympathy between two people.

[differenteagletragedy]

Part SEVEN of Simon Riley and his single mother god bless <3

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six

A few more months went by -- broken up by a couple of deployments, but easily the best months of Simon's life. He started sleeping over, every once in a while, sleeping with you. Going to bed with you in his arms after a full day, a full life? It was almost too much. Too good.

He should have known it couldn't last.

Charlie turns five in January. The cold outside is bitter and biting, but there's no snow on the ground just yet, so when he asks to go play outside, it's not that difficult for him to convince you that it's a good idea.

"Please, Mum, it's my birthday," Charlie tells you, eyes wide and pleading. "Simon'll take me, you won't even have to go out there. Just want to go to the slides for a little bit, please."

Your eyes shifts to meet Simon's, and he gives you a small grin. You know he'd do anything for Charlie, Charlie knows it too. Even Emma, the little baby who's getting bigger every day it seems, probably knows it.

Half an hour and a short walk later, and Simon has Charlie at the park where all this began. He goes down the slides a few times like he wanted, then moves to the swings for a bit. It's freezing, but he's having a blast, and so is Simon.

These little moments are getting easier with time and practice. It feels like his heart is expanding, widening to bring in you and your children, the flesh pulled taut but still sturdy, capable of holding all of it.

Until it snaps.

It happens so fast. Charlie always has seemingly boundless energy, but it's been kicked up a notch this afternoon with the excitement of his birthday. He runs wild around the deserted park, laughing and playing, hardly stopping to think as he climbs one of the narrow sets of steps that lead up towards the slides. He makes a detour this time, wanting to try the monkey bars. Simon keeps a watchful eye on him, but the boy isn't paying enough attention, and slips as he tries to navigate the high bars.

He falls to the ground, hard, and Simon hears the unmistakable snap of bone breaking. Charlie starts wailing, piercing and immediate, and Simon does a quick assessment, trained enough to keep his head even as his heart races.

There's no blood, no visible injuries besides his left arm, bent in a way it isn't supposed to go.

"You're all right, Charlie," he says quietly, carefully picking him up, making sure to keep his arm stable. "Going to get you taken care of, hear me?"

It's a quick walk back to your house, followed by a quick drive to the hospital with you and Emma in tow. Charlie's crying sets off the baby, and you're quietly weeping too, trying to tend to Charlie, and Simon navigates the streets with a clenched jaw, certain that he's destroyed everything.

Once everyone is inside the hospital, it's another quick blur of doctors and nurses poking and prodding Charlie, followed by an x-ray that confirms the clean break in his upper arm. The boy is sedated so the bone can be set, and then, while you wait for him to wake back up and while Emma finally calms, there's a stretch of silence.

Finally, you look up from the hospital bed to Simon, studying him with a frown, before saying, "You've been very quiet."

When Charlie hit the ground, Simon felt like he'd gotten the wind knocked out of him himself, and he hasn't been able to catch his breath since. It feels like the sadness, the constant weariness he'd felt for as long as he can remember, that emptiness that you'd filled so perfectly, was clawing its way back inside him. Like it never left, and you were just a pretty distraction but not something he could ever really have.

After a moment of strained silence, he mutters, "I ... fuck, I'm so sorry, love. So sorry. I shouldn't have let him on those fucking bars, I should have --"

"Stop," you tell him, your voice low too as Emma dozes in your arms. "Are you blaming yourself for this?"

"My fault," he admits. "I was the one watching him."

"Simon, don't ..."

He wants to apologize again, but he doesn't want to make you feel like you need to comfort him, but there's no way he can put on a neutral face right now ... he tries to take a deep breath, tries to finally catch it but it eludes him again.

"It's not your fault," you tell him firmly. "Accidents happen. He's a tough kid, he's going to be all right."

"He shouldn't have gotten hurt, not on my watch," he insists.

"Do you honestly think there's something you could have done differently? That you willingly let him do something unsafe?"

He racks his brain -- the logical part of him knows that it's not right. He's always careful with the children, and if he'd thought that Charlie could have gotten hurt like this, of course he would have stepped in. But the panic still rises persistently in his chest, flashing him images from a future in which you stop being understanding, where you understand how dangerous he is, how unworthy of everything you've given him. He's seconds away from being alone again, and it would be worse now that he knows what it's like to be loved.

"Simon."

Your voice is firm, solid and strong like it was that very first day when he heard you command Charlie to stop messing around on the playground. Charlie was too young and headstrong to listen then, but Simon wants, more than anything, to listen.

"It's not your fault," you tell him again. "Stop. It's not your fault."

You wrap your free arm around him, your grip firm, and he takes a shaky breath, then another. His eyes find Charlie, still out cold, and he shakes his head, but you give him another squeeze.

"It's not your fault."

That night, Charlie goes home with a sling, drowsy but no longer in pain. He asks Simon to carry him inside, and when he does, he asks him to stay, his good arm slung around his shoulder while Simon carefully cradles the one in the sling.

"Can it still be my birthday tomorrow?"

"It can be your birthday all month long," you tell him, putting Emma down on the floor with some toys.

After you make sure both your children are good for the moment, you pull Simon to the hallway, close enough to keep an eye on the kids but far enough away to speak privately.

"Are you ok?"

"Not the one you need to be asking."'

You give him a pointed look, one he knows by now means that you want him to stop being strong or stoic or whatever else and just be honest.

"I'm ... nervous," he confesses. It feels like a weak word to describe what he's feeling, but it's in the right arena, at least.

"About what?" you ask.

"That I ... that you'll want me to leave."

Your eyes widen, and you shake your head immediately, pulling him down for a hug. Your hands stroke his back and his hair, struggling to pull him even closer, and you start whispering to him. More of what you said earlier -- it was an accident, it wasn't his fault, just an accident.

What cuts through though, like a lightning rod through whatever storm is going on inside him, is when you say, "I don't ever want you to leave."

He pulls back, troubled eyes meeting yours.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, Simon. I love you. Don't leave."

It's the first time you've ever said it. You've danced around it before -- "Charlie loves you, the kids love you, we love having you around" -- but never as plain as this. He's done the same, told you in actions every day, in promises to take care of you, but actually saying the words ...

"I love you too," he says. "More than anything."

Charlie's birthday does, for the most part, last the whole month. Simon slowly starts to feel the air come back into his lungs, breathing a little easier every time Charlie acts like himself. When the boy slips, every once in a while, and calls him Daddy, or when Emma grips his hair in her chubby little fist. When you tell him that you love him, with words or kisses or promises ...

It's another lesson. Another piece of evidence that, despite everything he's ever believed about himself, he has value even when he's not perfect.

PART EIGHT - PART NINE